World Cup 100 | RP thread

[Saint Eleanor]

OOC 1a: Inspired by Paul Groves' Frequency Finder, albeit with much more extraneous commentary for exposition's sake. Areas within the city named here - Great Western (Atlas district), Western (Central district), North Western (Parkside district), Northern (Broadlands district; note that Eastern Fell only broadcasts AM nationwide), University (Collegiate district), East Central (Newbanks district), Eastern (Carpentersville district), Dockside Cluster (Trident district), and the towns (not Mount Dennis, which piggybacks off the Northern City's broadcasting) - roughly correspond both to folk wisdom and to newspaper circulation areas.
*OOC 1b: Please don't use FMScan.org any longer if you're following the links at the top of this linked post, as it transitioned to a walled-garden registration-by-enthusiasts-only model circa April 2024. WorldRadioMap.com/RadioMap.eu provides a similar service, if one only focused on big cities rather than a genuinely worldwide operation.

OOC 2: Real life has done a number on me, so no G6 nor interviews today, despite what I promised. I undertake that, by MD7/8 (Monday night), I will have done all three outstanding interviews, Episode 1 of my new roleplay series, all seven outstanding G6 minutes (MD5 is a bye for us), finished the Diana Gray interview in full, and updated my roster with all personal information and fun little one-letter-ratings of players. Understandably, this will involve me allocating ~99% of my NS-related free time to Saint Eleanor, which is a necessary aberration.

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Oneshot: List of radio stations in Saint Eleanor (as of April 2007)

FM stations

Radio 1: To say the least, Radio 1 may be the most underrated of all of Saint Eleanor's national institutions: it provides a voice and a platform to Eleanorian singers, rappers (every Monday from 8pm until 10pm!), DJs, and overly-sarcastic radio producers. It also makes way for Radio 3 during big football matches, a relief to the many young Eleanorians who are football fans; and between 10pm and 6am, a relief to the rather smaller number of young Eleanorians who like nerding out about politics when they should be going to sleep. We're Saint Eleanor; we don't do politics here.
Frequency details: 89.9 MHZ (Great Western), 89.0MHz (Western), 88.5MHZ (North Western), 88.8 MHz (Northern), 89.3MHz (University), 89.7MHz (East Central), 88.7 MHZ (Eastern), 89.0MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 88.7MHz (Crownedhead), 89.0MHz (Elsmouth), 89.2MHz (Farbend), 89.7MHz (Bishopgate), 89.6MHz (Springfield)

Radio 2: It's a quirk of history that Radio 2 is what it is: back in 1975, the Eleanorian people's priorities were music to get them through their day and music to get them through their night, in that order. Hearing bad news story after bad news story ranked right below that. Despite being the national hub of classical music (often imported from other nations, much to HQ's chagrin, although this can't really be changed short of fangirling for Olympia Woodward's mum), a surprisingly large proportion of the national population cares about it. Some of them want to relax; a few genuinely like classical; others would rather listen to a non-Terranean ad-free version of Relax 100.4.
Frequency details: 92.3 MHz (Great Western), 91.4MHz (Western), 90.9MHZ (North Western), 91.2 MHz (Northern), 91.7MHz (University), 92.1MHz (East Central), 91.1 MHZ (Eastern), 91.4MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 91.1MHz (Crownedhead), 91.4MHz (Elsmouth), 91.6MHz (Farbend), 92.1MHz (Bishopgate), 92.0MHz (Springfield)

Radio 3: While LocalTALK gets into the weeds of what's going on in your local area, Radio 3 is much more concerned with what's going on in George Mitcham's local area. National politics, international politics, reams after reams of sporting events, and people screaming down the phone about and and all of these (most people respect this; thank you for being one of them) are all on - and perhaps even all of its timetable, depending on how disillusioned you are. You know to listen to any other radio station for updates about whether your child's school is closed due to snow; you secretly want to listen to Radio 3 to find out how bad it's gotten thirty miles away where only a few sheep and oil rigs live.
Frequency details: 94.7 MHz (Great Western), 93.8MHz (Western), 93.3MHZ (North Western), 93.6 MHz (Northern), 94.1MHz (University), 94.5MHz (East Central), 93.5 MHZ (Eastern), 93.8MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 93.5MHz (Crownedhead), 93.8MHz (Elsmouth), 94.0MHz (Farbend), 96.6MHz (Bishopgate), 96.0MHz (Springfield)

LocalTALK: While SESB's stations are also dispersed across frequencies, they do at least have the excuse that local traffic bulletins are necessary every hour. LocalTALK in and of itself is entirely dedicated to making sure that people across Saint Eleanor hear news, events, developments, and random tabloid nonsense by their communities, from their communities, and for their communities. They may as well have nothing in common with each other beyond a shared set of logos.
Frequency details: 95.8 MHz (Great Western), 96.1MHz (Western), 96.5MHZ (North Western), 96.3 MHz (Northern), 97.0MHz (University), 97.3MHz (East Central), 97.7 MHZ (Eastern), 96.7MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 96.2MHz (Crownedhead), 96.5MHz (Elsmouth), 96.3MHz (Farbend), 94.5MHz (Bishopgate), 93.9MHz (Springfield)

Sunshine Radio: Occasionally misidentified as "Sunbeam FM" by certain computer nerds at SESB (that being the name of the national operating system), Sunshine is by far and away the most popular private music station. While it is very much a champion of up-and-coming and trending artists from around the world, and not only in Saint Eleanor (that being more of Radio 1's focus), it is also notoriously insistent in broadcasting those international group stage games that Radio 3 literally cannot touch, an impressive effort surely not rivaled by any other serious nationwide pop station anywhere else in the multiverse, unless my sorry parochial ass has overtaken me.
Frequency details: 99.2 MHz (Great Western), 99.5MHz (Western), 99.0MHZ (North Western), 98.8 MHz (Northern), 99.8MHz (University), 99.2MHz (East Central), 99.5 MHZ (Eastern), 99.0MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 99.1MHz (Crownedhead), 99.3MHz (Elsmouth), 99.5MHz (Farbend), 98.9MHz (Bishopgate), 99.2MHz (Springfield)

Rocket FM: Rocket, the de-facto national rock music station, has a "limited" audience, albeit one that only covers a good chunk of the national population - the Western City, where there is more audience of any mainstream Terranean-language genre than anywhere else; the Dockside Cluster, where there are a decent number of hard-working blue-collar folks; Crownedhead, where there are a lot of oil workers who need banging tunes to get through the day; and Elsmouth, where Elsfest happens and for which Rocket has live broadcasting rights.
Frequency details: 101.0 MHz (Western), 101.0 MHz (Dockside Cluster) - 101.0 MHz (Crownedhead), 101.0 MHz (Elsmouth)

Relax 100.4: While national radio stations can in theory be established up to 102.9 MHz, various reasons - the pre-existence of pop, rock, talk, and classical stations - means that Relax, the home of easy listening on Eleanorian radio, is by some distance the only successful example of this. It can even afford to broadcast on a single nationwide frequency, as it operates a single nationwide news, traffic and weather bulletin. (Although all weather bulletins may as well be nationwide, given that we are a country where you can drive from one end to the other in one hour. That's two hours if it's 2°C on a Friday afternoon.)
Frequency details: 100.4 MHz (all radio transmitters listed above)

Various community stations: By any measure, there will probably be four or five community stations in any given local areas, trying and (given pure numbers) failing to run the gamut of genres and languages. Honourable mentions must be given to University Radio on 87.7 MHz, which is of primary interest to actual university students and lecturers; Mess FM on 88.2 MHz, which is the de-facto station of the Eleanorian Navy and Marines in the Dockside (the joke is that the Army already has the entire SESB apparatus to itself); and the prolifigation of non-Terranean-language stations in the 106.0-107.6 band across the Dockside.
Frequency details: Most likely to be found on 87.7-88.5 MHz for pop-up and hyperlocal stations, and anywhere between 103.0-107.9 MHz for general community interest stations


AM stations

Radios 1, 2 and 3: While much of SESB's AM operation shut down in the mid-1980s as the post-war rebuild drew to a conclusion and FM became economically and morally viable, a transmitter in Crownedhead continues to serve the entire island - cross-country commuters, people living in the middle of nowhere, those few people in Actual Civilisation who still refuse to ever consider FM under any circumstances, and Bridget Coombe. (Yes, she still insists on listening to the AM versions of these channels, although it's well-known that she does a lot of driving about to nice little places here and there.) If you are lucky and on nearby land, you could theoretically use this method to listen to de-facto Saint-Eleanor-only radio coverage of major sporting events outside the country (do not try and stream SESB's content on the internet as they don't have the facilities to do so), but nobody has ever thought to bring their experience of doing so to any record of World Cup journalism yet known to us.
Frequency details: 729 khZ (Crownedhead, Radio 2), 855 kHz (Crownedhead, Radio 3), 1206 khZ (Crownedhead, Radio 1)

SESB Worldwide: The official international outpost of SESB's radio operation, Worldwide broadcasts a variety of talk programming and classical music of the kind that cannot typically be found on Radios 2 nor 3. Some of it isn't even in Terranean. Alhough it is by its very definition worldwide - we encourage you to purchase this year's Avery Book* for a full listing of its non-Eleanorian frequencies - it piggybacks off the massively overpowered transmitter in Eastern Fell that is also used by Aria 1350 in order to provide confused tourists, interested locals, and wannabe DXers who know no better access to whatever it's doing.
Frequency details: 621 kHz (Eastern Fell), a variety of other mediumwave and shortwave frequencies offshore

LocalTALK: While LocalTALK, like the SESB, largely broadcasts via FM, there is still an AM transmitter in operation at the University, distinct from the other megatransmitter in Eastern Fell. Its official purpose is so that people from across Saint Eleanor going to the University can keep up to date with what is happening there outside of termtime.
Frequency details: 828 kHz (University of Saint Eleanor)

Aria 1350: Aria is, quite simply, not fit for domestic consumption. This is not to knock its staff, who are all Eleanorian, nor its ten-thousand-plus regular Eleanorian listeners, but the fact that it is intended to deliver classical music on a mass scale to other nations - so much so that, owing to Saint Eleanor's easterliness, its "breakfast" programming technically begins at 11am National Liberation Arena time.
Frequency details: 1350 khZ (Eastern Fell)

Rocket FM and Rocket FM Extra: Rocket piggybacks off the Eastern Fell supertransmitter during Elsfest to provide radio coverage of the festival while it is happening, for the benefit of those who cannot be there, and slaps on an overspill channel for good measure. It's the nation's largest rock festival; its largest pop festival, Radio 1 Live, is unsurprisingly covered by SESB Radio 1.
Frequency details: 1422 khZ (Elsfest, Rocket FM; dates of festival only), 1305 khZ (Elsfest, Rocket FM Extra; dates of festival only)


Driving across the city today?

Owing to the limited yet relatively high-powered scale of the AM network, any of the AM stations will normally be a good choice for one's domestic travels.

If - like a surprisingly large chunk of Eleanorians, many of whom make more than $50,000 a year and are all too familiar with levels of creature comforts that not even President George Mitcham himself had in the years after Independence - you are not too fond of whatever fizz and crackle is going on with AM, then the Collegiate transmitter will almost invariably have good reception across the city, for the same historical reason that LocalTALK on AM can be heard across the entire country. (Yes, Saint Eleanor is an actual country with a very sparsely-populated-per-unit-area countryside. No wonder the head of Trident District Council is promoting the destruction of the local flat blocks as a "new slum clearance.") Most other intramunicipal transmitters are purely local, so shouldn't conflict with those on the other end of the city; it helps that there's a strict requirement for stations to be located at least 0.2MHz of each other.

The typical big beasts of the rural FM network are at Crownedhead (R1, R2, R3, Sunshine) and Elsmouth (R1, R2, R3, Sunshine), so most north-to-south commuters will be fine with a couple of twiddles about - much easier when you're doing 70mph on the M13 compared to if you're doing 120mph. However, if you are travelling between west and east, there can be complete black spots, so AM is best if you do not want to have any arguments with yourself, your car, or your lovely family with one child, no pets, and an insufferable coffee and/or takeaway coffee addiction.

It is strongly recommended that anyone travelling on the Elsmouth ferries tune into SESB Worldwide on 621 kHz, Aria on 1350 kHz, or any foreign radio station they can get in their car in Saint Eleanor, for their own sanity. The Crownedhead and University transmitters are not likely to be picked up in those nearby destinations to which Eleanorians may ferry themselves to. The author of this article also doubts they would have been picked up in Chromatika back when ferries to that country were still logistically feasible; may Margaret bless the port workers, and indeed literally everyone who isn't obsessed with rock music, of Elsmouth as they navigate this uncertain hour.

[Ethane]

100 years - an opportunity to look back

This World Cup is the 100th edition. This is an excellent opportunity for us to look back at Ethane's football history. The 100th edition also returns Ethane's return to international football for the first time since World Cup 95.

So, what is Ethane's record up to the start of this world cup qualification campaign?

Ethane has played 492 games across all competitions. Of those, Ethane has won 241 games. That is a positive record with a winning percentage of just under 50%.

That statistic is dragged down by more recent World Cup performances. Between World Cup 93-95, out of 56 games during the qualification campaigns, Ethane won only 10 of them. This is a dismal recent record which shows Ethane's fall from greatness. Going into this world cup Ethane were ranked 377, a far cry from the heights of 8th that the Red Kites once reached.

The most successful World Cup of Ethanian history was World Cup 81. Their record during the qualification campaign was excellent, winning 17 out of their 18 games. This was then followed up by 3 wins, a draw and a loss to Turori in the World Cup itself, one of only two times the Red Kites have reached the World Cup knockouts.

Overall, Ethane is far more successful at home. When playing in Ethane, the Red Kites have a winning record of 57%. This statistic is again limited by recent performances in World Cup qualification, with the team recording a 27% win rate at home in World Cup 93 qualifiers, 20% in World Cup 94, and 14% in World Cup 95.

In comparison, Ethane's winrate away is 47% across all games, just below average winrate for the team. However, recent away records are worse - Ethane did not win a game away from home during World Cup 95 or CEXXXX.

Ethane's worst record is at neutral venues, winning only 38% of all neutral games. Neutral games make up the least number of games played. This is naturally explained by the 'easier' games in qualifiers being home and away versus knockout tournaments being at neutral venues.

For home winning records, Ethane's best tournaments were World Cup 81 and World Cup 89 qualifiers, with win rates at home of 88% - these were when Ethane was at its peak in footballing terms and the two times the team made the knockouts.

Away from home, Ethane's best record is actually World Cup 83, with a winning record away from home of 83%, the same as their winning record at home during that qualification campaign.

So what can we learn about this? Games at home are important. Ethane needs to maintain a solid record at home to have a chance at qualification. So far, this has been maintained with Ethane recording 3 wins and a draw away from home. But can Ethane keep this up? There are significant challenges coming up - Riandera who have won every game so far, and the Commonwealth of Baker Park who are the highest ranked team in the group.

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

CUTOFF
Qualifying stage MD5/6

[Gyaromia]

"3... 2... 1... Okay, everyone, we're live!"

The whistle had blown at the Partizan Stadium, Gyaromia's Falcons in green had secured an important victory against TDUCK, 3-1 to the home team.

21' [GOAL] L. Dancs (GYA)
42' [GOAL] UNKNOWN (DUCK)
55' [Y. CARD] L. Dancs (GYA)
57' [GOAL] R. Mármarosi (GYA)
84' [GOAL] A. Nemeth (GYA)

Sitting alongside eachother were sports analyst Krištof Horváth, Flóra Ádám, and former Gyaromian representative Teréz László. They were all part of 365ARENA's after match program, where they give insightful and deep commentary on whatever the match, or hell, whatever the sport is.

T: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to our after-match segment, here we have our players in green delivering three points at home, quite the exciting match, wasn't it, Flóra?"

F: "Sure as hell, it had me out of my seat for the entire game! I can't imagine what it must've felt like actually being there, in the stands."

T: "I'm sure this would be a suprise to some, after the 0-0 draw against New Zhengguo, which lead many to believe that, uh, Hegedüs was planning to play like this for the whole tournament
"
K: "Not at all, I think. He has a good lineup now, atleast in my opinion, he's proven he has the capability to go on the offensive, I mean, we've just seen that play out!"

F: "Well, I think we have to give some praise to the youngster in midfield. He's been superb since the beginning of this campaign, it's only a matter of time before he got his deserved goal."

K: "He really didn't do much, he scored an okay goal, that's all."

F: "He's out in Calgasia, that's foreign football he's playing! I bet he'll develop into something big."

K: "I don't really get the hype for him, he's a decent player at best-"

T: "Okay, cut it out you two, we have an interview with our starman Roland Mármarosi on the pitch right now, Sara, uhm... Do the thing."

The broadcast now cuts to a reporter, infront of Mármarosi. The DUCK players were long gone by then, and in their locker room. Lászvár residents have invaded the pitch, or, atleast a part of it, with security with riot shields holding them back. A bit overkill, one might think, but this stadium has seen flares raining down on ths racing track, and chairs set on fire, atleast on derby days, so it's understandable... ish.

Reporter:
"Good evening, Roland, can you tell us your thoughts after this game?"

M: "Well, uh... It wasn't really as difficult as they said it would be, for me, and the boys it seems. I'm pretty happy with our performance, we can go onward now."

R: "What do you think of our youngster in midfield grabbing a goal today? Assisted by you, aswell."

M: "I'm happy for him. We've spent a lot of time as a team during the break, if you knew what it means to him I think you would've felt the same way. He's ecstatic, shame he's uh... Actually, what is he doing?"

The camera panned to the right, where Nemeth was on Captain Dancs' shoulders, along with the rest of the team next to them, chanting with the fans.

R: "That's true, he seems overjoyed..."

The camera turned back to Roland.

R: "Next question now... What do you expect for the next two games?"

M: "I can't say much, I think we all know how unpredictable qualifiers can be, but Shin Zetsubo might be tricky, Bunny Colt might give us some trouble. For Golfo Central, not too much, but we shouldn't underestimate our opponents, I think... Though, I have faith in myself, and the others. I think that's the most important."

R: "Okay, that'll be all for now, thank you for your time!"

The broadcast now turned back to the skybox above the stands.

T: "Okay, we've now heard it from Roland, that does it. Now, onto the tactical review."

Krištof Horváth now stood up, unfurling a whiteboard and a projector. Putting on a replay from the live match broadcast.

K: "Okay, I'm going to keep this short, starting off with Mármarosi's goal in the 57th minute... Which was, the most important highlight in the game."

"Now, we see Gyaromia on the counterattack, off a DUCK freekick... Vincze and Balogh are sprinting... Straight ahead, while István Fekető and Mármarosi are coming off the wing-back positions. The ball gets to Henter, after it was blocked by Dancs. He now carries the ball into midfield, and here, it's a 4 on 4, plus... The two other midfielders coming forward, in front of him, he has four clear passing lanes, and the DUCK defence is spread out, they've just come off a set piece, sprinting back. Now, Mármarosi times his run, because of which, Henter lobs it over, Mármarosi gets a good touch on it. He has their right back to beat now, which he does so by... Anticipating his momentum, getting a touch to the goal line, while using the RB's movement to cut inside. He sees the opening now, as the other two DUCK defenders are covering the strikers, both sets of midfielders are behind him. He has, endless opportunities, and a lot of good passing lanes... A pass to Vincze, a pass back for a long shot, space to shoot... He takes the opportunity, gives it a good curl, keepers anticipating a pass into the box, and it's a goal. Uh, clear mistakes here..."

He points with a marker to the DUCK GK's and CB's spacing.

"They gave him too much room to manoeuvre, and paid the price for it. Not good anticipation, and spacial awareness aswell, but, as they say, we better learn from our opponent's mistakes before it happens to us."

[Tristan de Cunha]

As Tristan de Cunha repairs after suffering significant storm damage, communications and transport remain affected. Some tourists, including visiting football enthusiasts from the World Cup Qualifications,have been stranded on the islands for two weeks longer than anticipated. The Tristanian government has temporarily suspended issuing tourist visas in order to alleviate pressure on transport ships and allow a flow of critical supplies to reach the island.

[OOC: I am in the process of installing a new hard drive and should be able to RP more fully tomorrow evening. Thanks to my opponents for their patience.]

[Edit: Dang, I missed cutoff. Did you guys call cutoffs early? I thought they were going to be 7.30pm my time.]

[Kelssek]

VOICEOVER: Today we’re joining Alliance for Liberty candidate Greita Hanby on the hustings. At this apartment complex in suburban Burnaby, she comes face to face with her would-be constituents. It’s truly democracy manifest.

The Alliance for Liberty’s main point of unity was to keep up the sembalance of a welfare state to head off any stronger redistributive policies. Oddly enough, they were far less willing to reform anything than the leftist parties, particularly the United Communist Party, which at some point managed to accidentally outsource military hospitals. The AfL fused mainly the Liberal and Conservative parties, but also attracted the kind of Green Party supporters who came to realize that doctrinal balanced-budget policy was the best way to starve out any infrastructure projects or industrial strategy that might lead to economic growth. This element of the Greens had been the utter frustration of the coalition they’d made with the UCP a while back, and had led to angry shouting at cabinet meetings and the bizarre spectacle of the Green party going completely missing from two years of budget votes. At one point the Communists introduced a regional development fund to brazenly pork-barrel a smattering of AfL defectors whose party discipline turned out to be negotiable.

G. HAMBY: “As you can see, this building’s old but well-maintained. We’re nothing flashy in this district, you have real people living here, and I’m really looking forward to meeting real people.”

INTERVIEWER: “Is this why you got into politics, to meet real people?”, as Hamby knocks on the door of one flat.

G. HAMBY: “Well, it’s a lot of things. I do want to make a difference, make a positive difference, you know? [door opens] “Hello, I’m Greita Hamby, I’m the Alliance for Liberty candidate for this riding.”

There’s an awkward pause as the person just stares blankly at her.

G. HANBY: “Have you decided how you’ll vote in the election, sir?”

RESIDENT, APT. 3: “Not exactly. I mean, you lot have got to do something about the inflation, right? I mean, it’s not a problem for me, I haven’t seen any inflation, but the price of bananas these days!”

G. HANBY: “Yes, well our party has a common sense plan to stop the gouging and stop the scrounging, how does that sound to you?”

RESIDENT (#3): “I reckon the real problem is taxes. Taxes are theft, am I right? I know you have to lie, being a politician and all, but taxes are theft, you know that. I can’t believe how much taxes I’m paying. And all for what... electric cars? Why do people need cars anyway? Ride a bicycle and stop being so fat, it’s costing us taxes when you go to hospital because, you know, I’m tired of my money going to pay for these people to get cured of disesases they deserve for not cycling enough. Something's got to be done about this.”

G. HANBY: “Well, I hear what you’re saying... So, uh, we’re going to reduce surgery waiting times and ensure people around the country have family clinics with our common sense reform plan that will hire 10,000 nurses and 5,000 doctors nationwide. We’re going to, uh, get power bills down, by, uh, catalyzing investment in wind and solar...?”

VOICEOVER: "After a series of heart-to-heart doorstep conversations about the real issues, Hanby heads to the town centre to make further inroads with the community. But that also means encounters with other candidates, including those whose approach to politics is rather different."

ABSOLUTE FILTH, a man in a costume of a T-Rex wearing a top hat, is explaining his party's policies to the afternoon main street throngs with a megaphone: “Vote for the Surprise Party! Only the Surprise Party has a secret vault of rare earth minerals! Your children will be safe only with the Surprise Party! Vote for the Surprise Party, because we are the only ones who even acknowledge the problem with the moon and stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, no one expects the Surprise Party.”

INTERVIEWER: "What do you hope to achieve in this election campaign?"

ABSOLUTE FILTH: "Well, the Suprise Party will deliver the best promises and best platforms for the people of this country. I want to say to everyone that you deserve the best, and the best is what we'll provide. I expect nothing short of a majority government."

INTERVIEWER: "Are your clothing choices helping to win support for that goal, though?"

ABSOLUTE FILTH: "Yes, absolutely. People often say politicians are dinosaurs. So clearly, dinosaurs have a better chance of getting elected."

VOICEOVER: "The Surprise Party is a long-standing feature of Kelssek politics, and uses humour to get their point across. But Ms. Hanby is not impressed by their antics."

G. HANBY: "It's got to be taken seriously, politics, you know... They should be banned."

INTERVIEWER: "Banned? Really?"

G. HANBY: "Or sent to prison. It's not right to make fun of important things, that's how our institutions get degraded, when you make them into jokes."

[Audioslavia]

THE _____________|  |______________
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  /__||__ \   |  |__||__  |  | /
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                 |  |      CYC 100

The Way Back Machines
Comparing Comeback Cycles of World Cup Nations

Last episode, we compared teams in their debut season, and managed to somehow hit almost four times the character limit for a single post. We’ll have to be a little more clever on our return to the concept, which in this episode talks about teams being a little bit more clever on their returns.

First, let’s have a look at the twenty best examples of teams nailing it on their comeback trail. For those of you of a certain vintage, the identity of the team behind the best ever comeback season may not be particularly surprising.

P. Code Team Name             R#   R(D)    P  W  D  L  F  A   GD Pts  PPG KPBa Points
 1  QW               Krytenia R2  72(67)  18 10 03 05 40 40    0  33 1.83 16.29
 2 QPW                Reçueçn R1  83(73)  19 11 04 04 24 14   10  37 1.95 16.00
 3 BQW          Shonar Bangla R1  19(11)  21 09 05 07 35 38   -3  32 1.52 14.86
 4 QPW         Busoga Islands R1  98(88)  19 09 03 07 32 28    4  30 1.58 14.00
 5 BQW                  Vdara R1  95(91)  24 12 04 08 52 39   13  40 1.67 12.94
 6  QW               Polkopia R1  89(84)  21 11 05 05 50 36   14  38 1.81 12.79
 7 QPC                 Casari R1  37(33)  24 12 05 07 38 32    6  41 1.71 12.20
 8  QW                  Spaam R2  77(38)  21 11 05 05 35 25   10  38 1.81 11.87
 9  QC                Omerica R2  98(92)  21 11 04 06 52 45    7  37 1.76 11.79
10  QC               Sarzonia R2  84(57)  29 14 08 07 59 46   13  50 1.72 11.48
11  QC                   Apox R1  78(74)  21 13 01 07 28 19    9  40 1.90 11.07
12  QC    New Montreal States R3  57(48)  22 13 02 07 28 28    0  41 1.86 11.00
13 BQC                  Silar R1  63(53)  28 17 03 08 45 27   18  54 1.93 10.99
14  QC                  Qusmo R1  96(83)  17 10 02 05 33 26    7  32 1.88 10.86
15 BQC           RK/IA Quebec R1  85(77)  35 19 06 10 73 56   17  63 1.80 10.75
16 BQC          Squornshelous R1  81(41)  30 14 06 10 43 30   13  48 1.60 10.44
18  QC    New Montreal States R1  24(14)  23 09 08 06 31 35   -4  35 1.52 09.86
19  QC              Sharktail R1  85(81)  29 15 07 07 66 50   16  52 1.79 09.44
20 QPW          Pridnestrovia R1  75(71)  17 06 04 07 43 44   -1  22 1.29 09.43

Let’s first decipher the little code here. “QW” means a team first entered Qualifying, and then played in the World Cup. “BQPC” would mean that, in the cycle in question, the side first entered the Baptism of Fire, then Qualifying, then reached a Playoff, then played in the Cup of Harmony (implying they didn’t win their playoff). "R1" means it's the first time that a nation has made a grand return to international football, which for these purposes means three whole cycles away from the action. At the top of the table above, you'll see an R2 next to Krytenia's name, which means its the second time this team returned. In this case, they returned in Cycle 72 after previously playing in cycle 67. The WDL record is the combination of all tournaments they played in. In this case, Krytenia went 10-3-5 across Qualifying and the FInals, scoring 40 and conceding, er, 40. An impressive feat when you've won twice as many games as you've lost.

There aren't too many great Krytenian eras scattered across the history of international football. Memorable Krytenian football teams are usually either those that get to the latter stages of a tournament but lose gallantly (WC29, WC58), or those that fight and scrap to the last man to ensure that, whatever happens at the business end of the tournament, nobody can forget the Krytenians were there. A great example of this is the rebel Krytenians in cyan rags in World Cup 40. Another great example is this World Cup 72 team.

Lead by world famous journalist Rami Niblick taking a shock foray into management, the Krytenians went full +5 for their comeback and were rewarded with six wins in their opening eight qualifying games. In a tight group with just a point separating the top three teams, Krytenia were the team on top, qualifying automatically despite entering the tournament with zero ranking points. The finals were supposed to be just a bonus, but an opening day win over Falcus and a final matchday goal-less draw with cross-bekk rivals Legalese would prove enough to make it to the second round. There, the Krytenians would meet a Valanora side on their own comeback trail of sorts, having failed to qualify for the previous World Cup. Krytenia, with their backs against the wall, caused the Marauders only minor troubles before losing three one.

Only five teams have accumulated more KPBa points in a cycle where they started on zero ranking points. All of those (Aquilliana 17, Bonesea 75, Northern Bettia 33, Peisandros 44, Kwrpania 99) had the advantage of a pre-tournament BoF.

Seven other teams have reached the World Cup in their return cycles. Six of those are in the top ten above, while Pridnestrovia are down in 20th yet somehow managed to do the same despite putting together a modest 6-4-7 record across the BoF, Qualifying and the World Cup itself.

The 13th best comeback team in the above table is Silar, who entered the Baptism of Fire tournament on their return to international football in cycle 63. There, they won their first six games before losing in extra time to Secundus Kassius. Undeterred, they won five and drew one of thei first eight games of qualifying, eventually finishing a commendable 4th. Six points in the CoH group stage helped their cause in the rankings, if nothing else.

It’s a great comeback. The thing is, that cycle 63 Baptism of Fire is the second BoF they participated in. A few years earlier, they appeared in the BoF before World Cup 53 qualifying, going 2-0-2 before again finishing a commendable 4th in their qualifying group. They’re somehow 32-12-24 in the only two cycles they competed in, which would be impressive even before you take into account the cycles are non-consecutive.

When we look at some of the rarer teams of this ilk, we find another team with multiple appearances in the Baptism of Fire. It turns out there are two teams played only in the BoF on their return:

Code   Team Name             R#   R(D)    P  W  D  L  F  A   GD Pts  PPG KPBa Points
    B                Talkasa R1  94(88)  04 00 01 03 02 09   -7   1 0.25 00.13
    B             New Jarwel R1  97(79)  03 00 00 03 02 08   -6   0 0.00 00.00

You’re not supposed to play in the Baptism of Fire twice, yet that’s exactly what Talkasa have done. The side appeared in the BoF before cycle 88 and put together a 3-2-13 record in qualifying for that tournament. In retiring immediately after sneaking into the pre-94 BoF, they became possibly the first team to play in more BoFs than Qualifiers. At least, of those teams who actually played in qualififers. New Jarwel did almost nothing in their qualifying campaign for World Cup 79, drawing three, losing fifteeh and winning zero of their qualifiers. In going 0-0-3 in the pre-97 BoF, they only added to their futile record.

Okay. Some more outliers. It says above that Talkasa returned once. We know Krytenia were on their second return earlier. What’s the most returns a team has done? Has anyone returned three times? Four? It’d be quite the feat. I mean, you have to leave at least three cycles in between leaving and returning. That could be a year or more. Then play in a cycle or two, then leave for another year? Even the speedrun version of this feat would take the better part of a decade.

And yet three teams have done it.

Code   Team Name             R#   R(D)    P  W  D  L  F  A   GD Pts  PPG KPBa Points
   QC            Geisenfried R1  28(24)  15 04 02 09 09 19  -10  14 0.93 04.67
    Q            Geisenfried R2  50(38)  20 11 02 07 28 28    0  35 1.75 07.00
   QC            Geisenfried R3  61(50)  20 06 04 10 17 27  -10  22 1.10 06.14
   QC            Geisenfried R4  81(64)  22 11 05 06 34 25    9  38 1.73 09.12
   QC            Geisenfried R5  89(84)  22 09 04 09 25 23    2  31 1.41 07.00
  BQC               Legalese R1  26(22)  21 09 06 06 44 30   14  33 1.57 08.60
    Q               Legalese R2  40(29)  10 01 02 07 11 25  -14   5 0.50 02.00
   QC               Legalese R3  54(42)  16 04 06 06 17 22   -5  18 1.13 06.15
    Q               Legalese R4  79(75)  18 01 01 16 10 52  -42   4 0.22 00.89
   QC               Legalese R5  85(79)  28 06 08 14 57 81  -24  26 0.93 04.89
   QC             Schiavonia R1  49(37)  18 03 06 09 16 28  -12  15 0.83 03.75
    Q             Schiavonia R2  57(52)  16 01 03 12 13 40  -27   6 0.38 01.50
  QPC             Schiavonia R3  68(57)  19 08 02 09 34 30    4  26 1.37 07.36
   QC             Schiavonia R4  74(70)  16 04 04 08 28 38  -10  16 1.00 05.25
    Q             Schiavonia R5  83(75)  12 04 01 07 18 22   -4  13 1.08 04.33

Geisenfried (in 24 out 24 in 28 out 38 in 50 out 50 in 61 out 64 in 81 out 84 in 89) have been in and out of the World Cup’s front door more often than a cat, spreading five comebacks across a period between 2006 and around 2023. Legalese arrived in earlier and has stayed later, while Schiavonia tend to appear as an outlier in most things, partially because I’m never quite sure where Schiavonia starts and Druida/NEWI Cefn Druids ends.

Another category of returner is a team that took an inordinate amount of time to find their way back to international football. Eighteen teams have taken 30 cycles or more to return to the World Cup. Sel Appa likely took the most actual time, with around fifteen years between cycles 52 and 98, but they're only third in terms of the amount of cycles.

Code   Team Name             R#   R(D)    P  W  D  L  F  A   GD Pts  PPG KPBa Points
   BQ       Evisceratomatoes R1  66(10)  15 01 02 12 11 38  -27   5 0.33 01.71
    Q              Wreckeria R1  84(30)  20 07 04 09 40 50  -10  25 1.25 05.00
    Q               Sel Appa R2  98(52)  14 02 00 12 15 35  -20   6 0.43 01.71
   BQ           Emperor Pudu R1  72(28)  21 11 02 08 28 29   -1  35 1.67 07.86
  BQC          Squornshelous R1  81(41)  30 14 06 10 43 30   13  48 1.60 10.44
    Q           Grays Harbor R1  54(15)  10 01 02 07 09 20  -11   5 0.50 02.00
   BQ              Parthenon R1   47(8)  20 07 04 09 26 35   -9  25 1.25 05.40
   QW                  Spaam R2  77(38)  21 11 05 05 35 25   10  38 1.81 11.87
  BQC                    95X R1  76(38)  21 07 03 11 40 36    4  24 1.14 06.17
    Q                  Gnejs R1  72(34)  14 03 04 07 10 18   -8  13 0.93 03.71
   BQ                 Lovisa R2  86(49)  23 05 03 15 28 56  -28  18 0.78 03.79
   QC            West Pocono R1  85(51)  29 09 11 09 26 26    0  38 1.31 07.00
   QC                 Warkus R2  99(66)  24 08 05 11 48 46    2  29 1.21 04.89
    Q              Aquitayne R1  97(65)  16 02 06 08 14 27  -13  12 0.75 03.00
   QC            Nova Mercia R1  53(22)  24 07 02 15 35 58  -23  23 0.96 05.14
   QC        Oberour ar Moro R1  81(50)  21 05 08 08 45 50   -5  23 1.10 05.25
    Q  Anathematic Republics R1  61(31)  16 01 03 12 08 34  -26   6 0.38 01.50
    Q           Nexxus Drako R1  99(69)  18 00 03 15 12 51  -39   3 0.17 00.67

The Evisceratomatoes were somehow fond enough of the pre-Jolt World Cup to find it well into its post-Jolt era.

This is odd, but not ridiculous. SImilarly, three teams hitting five comebacks each is a little out there, but it’s not pants on head weird. It’s not catastrophically weird. Teams entering the Baptism of Fire on more than one occasion is very rare - illegally so, in fact - but it’s not world-endingly, apocalypitcally bizarre. There are no implications to ‘hey, Legalese entered the BoF even though they’d already got a ranking a few cycles earlier’. There’s not really many problems caused by Talkasa and Silar entering the BoF twice.

You want catastrophically weird?

Code   Team Name             R#   R(D)    P  W  D  L  F  A   GD Pts  PPG KPBa Points
    C             Brazillico R1   10(6)  04 01 01 02 05 07   -2   4 1.00 01.67

Look closer. Do you see it yet? No? Look again. No, really. I insist.

Code   Team Name             R#   R(
    C             Brazillico R1   10(

Yes. You think you’ve got it by now. You think you can see it.

Code 
   C

“That must be it” you’re thinking. “Two-time World Champions Brazillico made their comeback to international football in a Cup of Harmony”. And yes, that is it. Part of it. A very small part of it.

Brazillico had missed all of cycles 7 through 9 before their return at the end of cycle ten.

Back in cycle 6? They’d won the entire World Cup and retired with the trophy.

The trophy and the Unofficial World Championship belt.

An Unofficial World Championship belt which, when I was tracking it through the early years, I figured would only have made a reappearance alongside Brazillico in Cycle 11 Qualifying. I… hadn’t thought to check the previous Cup of Harmony

I had no idea they had returned in a Cup of Harmony.

Regarding the Unofficial World Championship there are… Implications.

We have to throw some hard work away, and find a whole new path through history for the Lineal Unofficial World Championship.

---

New Montreal Stalemates
Bulls struggle against ancient enemy, fans nervously checking table

"They'd be fools to believe that trophy makes them World Champions" said one pundit of Audioslavia's unlikely world championship. Audioslavia's national team may have won the World Cup, but they did so after decades of uninspiring football, and won out with more than their fair share of luck. "Same as 63" said one voice in response, bringing up Audioslavia's title win in World Cup 63 from similarly low in the standings. "And we went on to win '64".

The thing is, Audioslavia's national team were on something of a roll in the early 60s. Aside from winning yet another regional title in between the two World Cups, the side went on two long, uninterrupted undefeated streaks around the time, with only a shock upset defeat to Krytenia the blemish on their record. Here in cycle 100, the Bulls are a very modest 2-2-1 and sit down in fourth in the table, already four points adrift of leaders Hapilopper.

"Ask me in a few matches time" says manager Monterroso, with a sigh, when pressed after a drab nil-all result against friendly rivals New Montreal States. "Shite" retorts a fan in an interview outside the stadium. "We built this fuckin' stadium for them and we can't come and act like we own the place? Shite".

When asked whether Monterroso's job should be on the line, many fans shrugged. Sure, this is the man who gave them the World Cup, but if it was all a flash in the pan, then why wait when things are going wrong?

Monterroso will likely get until the end of the campaign, but it's unlikely even a World Cup winning coach can stay in his job if he ends up presiding over the very first World Cup winner to try, and fail, to qualify for the World Cup after their win.

[Kita-Hinode]

Arrows rained upon the party, Northern Sunrise's trusty surfboard and several drum sets that Tumbra managed to summon ended up getting used to catching said arrows before they could do some damage. The rest of the party kept the wolves at bay with attacks, but it was quite clear that the situation wasn't going to solve itself without some game-changer.

[Eura] - Doc, any ideas on how we can get rid of the goth catgirl?
[Doctor] - Generally, I would suggest trying to get her into some other type of music, but I doubt we'll have the opportunity.
[Northern Sunrise] - Yeah, clever plan, doc. How about something we can do right now?
[Doctor] - Do you not have any sort of ultimate weapon with you to clear such things?
[Northern Sunrise] - I can't, my Final Crushendo got stopped by the walls!

They were, after all, fighting inside the walls of a castle, which somehow managed to prevent his tidal wave from approaching and doing any damage. Behind them, Kitsunia caught their attention.

[Kitsunia] - Uh... guys, I think the magician here is up to no good.

They turned around, finding her sitting atop a cartoonishly giant bomb.

[Rory] - Fall back!

TEAM IC and TYPE IOCA present...

(Sunrise/Great onslaught)
all worlds come to a shared point

The sight of Atalanta Alter being launched into the sky was the last thing they could see of the archer. So quick was her presence that she wasn't even capable of getting a line in.

[Kitsunia] - She must lack a good agent.
[Tumbra] - I think those guys aren't from the local guild; they don't have much bargaining power.

Dreamplanet walked up to them, whisked from the explosion, raising a finger before collapsing.

[Guy] - If you told me I would see someone blowing themselves up from exhaustion, I wouldn't expect it to involve an actual bomb.
[Licentian Isles] - Cy, lob her into the carriage. I doubt she's gonna be moving for the next couple of chapters.
[Northern Sunrise] - Eh, it's cool. We got plenty to spare!
[Kitsunia] - Not really, hubby. We only got another five or six, unless the Hinodejin Empire qualifies.

A booming voice could be heard from above. Although booming, it was still familiar. The sight of the girl in blue atop the tower gave out who she was.

[Yamaxanadu] - If you're done breaking the fourth wall, I, Eiki Shiki, the Yamaxanadu, have great news!

She proceeded to follow that up with a dramatic jump, landing atop some dead wolves that were still in the process of fully evaporating into magical energy. Her hat landed afterwards, causing her to adjust it with her wooden stake.

[Yamaxanadu] - It appears your elf ally and I have figured out what we are supposed to do to leave this place.
[Northern Sunrise] - I thought we were here for a quick cameo? Ow!
[Yamaxanadu] - Again, no more breaking the wall! Ahem. While we do not know who brought us here, we have noticed a pattern of stars in the maps... and when you beat Atalanta, one of those stars faded from all maps.
[Licentian Isles] - Ah, gotcha! So we just gotta beat some other clowns like this and we're heading back home, right?
[Valanora] - It stands to reason, yes.

The elf revealed herself, having simply taken the staircase down like anyone else would, Pasarga flanking her.

[Valanora] - Presumably, the regions represented in the map have all their own authority figure. Should we beat them all, we should probably find our way back home through a lack of pressure and urgency.
[Northern Sunrise] - ...Well, then why don't we just get going then? The quicker we get this over with, the quicker I can catch some quality waves.
[Guy] - I was going to say I'm having plenty of fun with you all, but... I kinda miss my game.

The entirety of the party looked at their benefactor with either scorn or disappointment at the reminder that he was one of those folks.

[Kitsunia] - Let's... let's go, then.
[Valanora] - I will have to warn you, though, it seems that our next destination is a bit dangerous.
[Tumbra] - ...Well, wasn't this place dangerous?
[Valanora] - ...More dangerous.
[Northern Sunrise] - Ah, cool. We'll probably knock 'em out before you even notice it.
[Valanora] - It's Shinjuku. Home of the skyscrapers and apparently...

Always at nighttime.

Olga (or Miss OMA, as she preferred to be referred to in this unlicensed drivel) walked down the halls of the hotel, amazed to see the peace that followed another routine check by her two current allies. Ahead of her, the two chatted along.

[Yesopalitha] - In any case, pupil, we're almost done pacifying this region.
[Chromatika] - I don't feel we're at that state yet. It seems like we face around the same numbers every night. To top it all off, they're not even consistent in quality. Some days are far tougher than others. It's too... erratic.
[Yesopalitha] - Once we find whoever controls them, we should better understand what goes with them, in any case.

He stopped in his tracks, his eyes showing signs of surprise as he eyed something in the distance.

[Yesopalitha] - What catches your attention, pupil?
[Chromatika] - He's here.
[Yesopalitha] - He?
[Chromatika] - Yes, he. In any case... Miss OMA.
[Miss OMA] - U-Uh, yes?
[Chromatika] - Do you know how to swim?
[Miss OMA] - ...I don't like where that's going.

A tidal wave crashed against the building, although it didn't manage to reach their floor. The lights still shook, power briefly flickering before restoring itself as per the tradition of the area they were in. The girl dropped to the ground in surprise from the recoil while her two allies remained unfazed.

[Chromatika] - I shall greet him. You two should prepare a larger room, it seems like he brought plenty of company.
[Yesopalitha] - Intriguing, but I appreciate the sound of that.
[Miss OMA] - ...Well, I got nothing better to do. Let's go, then, madam vampire.

...

Arriving through a giant tidal wave was probably either the stupidest or the most brilliant idea they could have ever employed. Having Northern Sunrise jump from another tower and summon his Final Crushendo allowed the whole party to ride the wave all the way to that building. Of course, that also meant they could have put themselves into danger of arriving at an infested fortress, but the sight of what seemed to be a fairly normal hotel gave them enough comfort.

[Northern Sunrise] - Well, if you ignore the damage of flooding half of the building, it looks like a proper hotel, huh.
[Valanora] - Let us... not do this again? The material this dress was made of isn't too welcoming to seawater.
[Tumbra] - I thought you elves were all about nature.
[Valanora] - Just because I like nature doesn't mean I like a wet dress that smells like fish, boy.
[Tumbra] - Well, point taken.

Once they managed to get themselves acquainted with where they were, a knock on the door could be heard. The party looked at each other, briefly thinking about who should answer that, if they should even do it. At the end of the argument, Northern Sunrise shrugged and opened the door, being greeted by a man's tightest hug imaginable.

[Chromatika] - Father, you've made it!

Kitsunia flashed a grin while the rest of their guests examined the scene with the sort of inquisitive look that made them wonder what was going on with that boy. Doubly so when the butler was genuinely taller than him. The surfer's response was, naturally, puzzled.

[Northern Sunrise] - Don't get me wrong, man, but I think you got the wrong guy.
[Chromatika] - Are you not Unified Sunrise?
[Northern Sunrise] - Uh... I'm Sunrise, but of the Northern variety. Name sure sounds neat though.
[Chromatika] - ...He did tell me of a time when he went surfing and went by a different name.
[Northern Sunrise] - Was he the pride of Esportiva?
[Chromatika] - For a while, yes. He did lose interest, however.
[Northern Sunrise] - ...And he looked like me.
[Chromatika] - Affirmatively. This realm may have changed us all, but my eyesight is as perfect as it always has been.
[Kitsunia] - So why do you wear glasses?
[Chromatika] - Fashion statement, mother.
[Kitsunia] - I see.
[Chromatika] - But... where is my sister? Shouldn't she be with you all?

The Yamaxanadu shook her head, taking center stage while drying her robes.

[Yamaxanadu] - You were all split apart. The man you call father was summoned to a place with metallic hallways, the woman you call mother was at the beach side, the Luluwaha... I was at Camelot, or whatever this dimension calls Camelot. And this is...
[Miss OMA] - Shinjuku.

Guy was caught by surprise as he noticed the familiar face.

[Guy] - Ah, hey, Miss UMA from the first chapter!
[Miss OMA] - I'm glad you survived.
[Guy] - Ah, willing to rethink your ideas of me?
[Miss OMA] - No, moron. We need your powers to make it through the vice-captains and the Beast herself.
[Valanora] - So that's how they are called?
[Miss OMA] - ...Wait, how did you get this many people?
[Guy] - They were just around, you know. I woke up at a beach and sorta made my way here through trials and tribulations.
[Northern Sunrise] - Who were all shortened since we have like a couple of cutoffs to go through the whole thing.

For the next hour, she was introduced to all members of the party and traded information. At the end of the day, the gist was this.

[Miss OMA] - The Beast created this singularity by mixing up pieces of previous adventures she had with a certain boy. Alas, said boy disappeared and left us at a time of need.
[Valanora] - And his departure also meant that you were unable to move on with your story.
[Miss OMA] - He had all the necessary skills for us to continue, but one day, he just... vanished. I mean, I was supposed to have a big part down the line, but I had to come back to sort everything out since he wasn't around anymore for me to serve as the proper President of-
[Yamaxanadu] - Let's not delve too much into that. What matters is that you either need his return or...
[Miss OMA] - We need to put down the Beast and her vice-captains. The women scorned. The harem.

All three talking heads looked directly at Guy, who, for his part, shrugged.

[Guy] - Oi, I don't play whatever game this is ripping off. I like them with large bosoms and dumb smiles. Not with the potential of killing me with weapons and stuff. That's the sort of thing Alex from IT is into. Not me!
[Miss OMA] - ...Still, I woke up here after the wave where my two new allies, Chromatika and Yesopalitha, restored me to full health. I'm still unable to make contracts like you, but they are so powerful, they don't need my assistance at all.
[Chromatika] - That's nonsensical, Miss OMA. Your knowledge of this world has been key to our efforts. And now that we have quintupled in power, we should be able to tackle this vice-captain you spoke of.
[Miss OMA] - ...Well, given that we're in Shinuku, I feel like I can tell exactly who it shall be, but...
[Valanora] - Yes?
[Miss OMA] - ...Are you familiar with Joan of Arc?

...END OF PART FOUR...

---

GUY DE PERSSON'S PARTY
NEW INFO! Part One / NEW INFO! Part Two / NEW INFO! Part Three

CHROMATIKA
Height/Weight:
Origin: PokéCards XD
Region: Anaia
Alignment: Lawful-Good
Gender: Male

"Situations that require complex thought are perfectly fine. Though I do admit the allure of solving things through brute force is always strong." A dutiful young man with a keen, advanced acumen. He fancied himself a teacher and was eventually able to prove it as such, though what he hides inside is a dark, disturbed secret that tethers out in brief spurts whenever forced to. A true friend to the letter.

His fighting style relies heavily on using his limbs for combat, delivering slashes of all sorts that leave particularly deep cuts. Most would peg it to his sheer strength and tact, but it apparently also has to do with the pair of moccasins he wears. "Western Hinodejin leather, only the finest." There's also the latent powers the cult left in him, which probably has to do with that, but he would rather you didn't bring that up. You know, out of respect.

YESOPALITHA
Height/Weight: 172 cm, 68 kg
Origin: PokéCards XD
Region: Anaia
Alignment: Chaotic-Neutral
Gender: Female

"In all of my years, I never thought I'd have this much fun." Quasi-vampirical, a perfect fit for this time of the year, Yesopalitha has survived through the ages thanks to her nature, history seeming to always reserve her new adventures, including this very one. Her strength is almost unparalleled, and her wisdom is nothing to sneeze at. Alas, her penchant for trouble can make her somewhat unreliable when dealing with bigger things. Though one is likely to see that putting their trust in her is usually very beneficial.

EIKI SHIKI, YAMAXANADU
Height/Weight: 114 cm, 35 kg
Origin: Touhou ~ Phantasmagoria of Flower View
Region: Jigoku
Alignment: True Neutral
Gender: Female

"...Is Komachi lazing again? Why are we forced to entangle with the souls who passed ages ago?" A judge who decides the fate of souls in death, whether to send them to heaven or to hell. Her heart holds a deep wish to improve those around her out of the sheer belief that they could and should be at their best at all times, which also makes her prone to rambling and generally going through matters in a preachy manner. The criteria she applies when judging souls are deeply complex, likely justifying how she ended up here.

In her realm, the Yamaxanadu isn't necessarily undefeatable, but it's generally suggested that leaving her be would be for every world as a whole. Leaving the souls of the dead unable to pass to whatever realm they're meant to move to has led to major incidents and, while legend has it that a miko and a witch could usually solve them with time to spare, it probably would be for the best for her not to face anything major in her visit to this world. She's very aware of that fact.

[New Montreal States]

It’s very difficult to get Paladin Dome crowds to do anything in unison. You sing the Immigrant Song as your boys in the blue and silver run out onto the pitch. You start yelling if the ball gets into either third; the deeper it gets, the louder you yell. If the players are just gonna tap the ball around midfield, you shoot the shit with the buddies you like enough to spring for your share of the tickets.

Distant historical memory prompted the spread-out, air-conditioned masses to front-load their emotional investment into drowning out the running of Audioslavia’s Bulls as the visitors. Ancestral memories flooded the building to the point where nobody could hear the announcer nailing the pronunciation of “Govran Bastarretxea” or “Kjartan Lúnquerque” over the home crowd acting like a home crowd for the first time in three hundred and sixty goddam years.

“As you start the song
And face this garden
Light up a cigarette before the execution
And now you see your crime
For every mirror gone
Add another drug to your birth ritual”

The first three verses are easily understood by any visiting side in need of demoralization. Things get hazier on the back end. What crime? What mirrors? Who or what is born through this ritual, and have these drugs gone through a sufficiently rigorous approval process before getting mashed into mommy’s epidural with the prescription-grade tequila and accompanying pharmaceuticals? These are the kinds of thoughts you want to plant in your opponents heads as they try to get their collective shit together inside your 100,000-person stadium, especially if they’re reigning World Cup champions.

The Bulls were quick to lower their collective horns after kickoff, plunging into the Paladins’ back third within the first 90 seconds and tightening the screws for the next four minutes. A championship-grade sequence of passing gradually pulled the Paladins out of position, and opened a lane for Bily Giı:lllppy to barrel down from the left corner of the box towards the goal. Cam Hooper’s pass led Bily perfectly for the conversion; their (?) left foot (?!) connected at what would have been the perfect angle to drive the ball into the net if Bily existed in our physical realm, had a soul, and was capable of affecting the outcome of real life soccer games. The ball instead coasted through its thrice-accursed soulless form and across the back line for the first of 54 goal kicks Brian Lads would boot during the match.

This was the moment that Noel Poltron achieved managerial enlightenment; he leant over the sideline and bellowed “BILY’S NOT REAL, JUST LET THE CHUCKLEFUCKS THINK IT’S OPEN!”

That gave the Paladins the confidence they needed to park the bus for the next 86 minutes and reap the rewards of faith. Bily’s overconfident programming led it to to run unmarked across the back half of the Paladins’s third all night. The ten living and breathing Audioslavians on the pitch, under pressure to recoup the tremendous investment sunk into a real fake soccer player, felt that they had no choice but to sail it towards or through the wide-open Bily. Those “passes” led to easy saves, clearances, or deflections out of play where the Audioslavian responsible for the throw-in or corner kick hucked the ball towards Bily and repeated the cycle. It made for great TV.

Koren Lorentzen blew his stack at the 38th minute and took a swing at Nyguen Pham, demanding that the ace center-back man mark Bily instead of a living being who could affect the outcome of a match. Pham caught and deflected the blow with his off arm, Lorentzen caught a red card, and the nine-to-eleven advantage etched the final outcome in stone: Paladins nil-nil Bulls, with no official shots on goal from either side.

As Audioslavia jogged back into the visitor’s locker room, led by Bily Giı:lllppy victoriously doing the Snoopy dance to celebrate the 41 shots and 35 goals it thought it had, the Paladin Dome hoi polloi had used the monotony of the second half to compose and organize a serenade to sing tonight’s losers off the field:

In the song below, “Bily” is pronounced as one syllable – “bli” – which may not have been what the developers intended. If they disagree, they’re welcome to strap on their cleats and try to make the point their creation failed to.

I woke the same
As any other day except a voice was in my head
It said, "Seize the day
Pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the fake-ass heads"
The day Bily tried to live
It stole a thousand beggar's change
And gave it to the rich, yeah
The day Bily tried to win
It dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch, yeah
Singing one more time around (Bily might do it)
One more time around (Bily might make it)
One more time around (Bily might do it)
One more time around (Bily might make it)
The day Bily tried to live, yeah
Words you say
Never seem to live up to the ones inside Bily’s head
The lives we make
Never seem to ever get Bily anywhere but dead
The day Bily tried to live
It wallowed in the blood and mud
With all the other pigs, hey
Singing one more time around (might do it)
One more time around (might make it)
One more time around (Bily might do it)
One more time around (Bily might make it)
The day Bily tried to live, yeah
Bily tried
Bily woke the same as any other day you know
Bily should have stayed in bed
Eh-hey
The day Bily tried to win
Bily wallowed in the blood and mud
With all the AI pigs
And Bily learned that Bily was a liar
Bily learned that Bily was a liar
Bily learned that Bily was a liar
Bily learned that Bily was a liar
Singing one more time around (might do it)
One more time around (Bily might make it)
One more time around (might do it)
One more time around (Bily might make it)
The day Bily tried to live, live
Just like you
Just like you
One more time around (one more time around)
One more time around (one more time around)

[Riandera]

RIAN☆STAR
FRIDAY - October 31, 2025

---

Riandera gets two first losses at WC 100 qualifying
Rafflesias get defeated by Ethane's Red Kites and Orcuo
by .. Kevin Widiyanto

Letson and The Citadel—The winning streak for the Rafflesias has been broken at two away games: one at Ethane, the other at Orcuo.

At the first game, nothing seemed to be going well for the Rianderans. Sure, Dharmawanto and the Rianderan defence were known to be swift, but the former did not suspect Rushbrooke to be scoring past a swift Rianderan defence at 53'.

The second game went well for Riandera until the last ten minutes or so. Six minutes in, the Orcuoian team made the scores 0-1. This was followed by a goal by our very own Woolridge at 27'. Then another Rianderan goal came at 58', this time by Wahyuni. The Orcuoian team balanced the scores at 69', but turned the tables ten minutes later by scoring yet another goal.

But the Rafflesias' next match, which will be played away, is going to be a breeze. Their next challenge is in Electrum, who is currently at the bottom of the group table. Winning is likely, as the Electrumites had never won any of their matches previously. After that is a clash with World #43, Saterun. They are just below the Rafflesias on the group table as of MD6, but things could change after this home game.

Will the Rafflesias bring back their past glory, or will they fail to reach it again?

---

RianStar has been Riandera's most trusted news source for forty years. It offers unbiased views of different domestic and international news, making their reports to the best quality.

[IA3]

And so they set sail forth, the freezing waters below them. No vision, no heat, no certainty on what awaited them.

As they journeyed on through the frozen waters of the north, days turned to weeks. How long will they sail through this empty, frigid wasteland?

Logic defied their thoughts. Their ships never froze, the ice never crashed. Empty seas were only seen, no glaciers in sight.

Were their minds drained of thought? Was the biting cold fooling their eyes? Or was it emptiness that blinded them?

Yet in any case, ships sailed forward. Their weapons armed for anything that would bloc their path, their path to find somewhere safe.

And even why sail north was not known. But still, it was the final choice. And slowly, the air started to heat up.

Were they in a land south? They had sailed north, the ships hoisting the flag of their country that was no more.

But the fog had disappeared, the air was breathable, and they were in a place unfamiliar to them.

A world never seen before. New currents and land uncharted, eager to be explored. Whatever this place is, it was livable.

And then they saw it, lying on the coast of a continent so vast. The ruins of a humongous city that could float as freely as it could.

A floating city, they mused. Unused and in disrepair, they believed. A floating city ripe for taking.

---

Six points in six games was... Disappointing to say the least.

The loss against Pasarga wasn't inexplainable. They were the class of the field, the strongest team in Group 21. It was a name that Mugel Krygorf recognized, one that he actually did remember. But well, that's about it really. As he watches the replay, he thinks of these first six matches for Atheara as a whole... Well, the new one anyways. What happened to the old one is set and done. There's no returning to what it once was, if information regarding where it used to be can be believed.

Was it really just a set of ruins in a now truly hostile wasteland? The former goalkeeper wanted to believe that maybe there were some survivors stranded there. The country was recognized for it's gearing towards an apocalyptic scenario, what with extensive underground infrastructure. Or perhaps it was the nature of how whatever disaster had occurred that caused the whole lack of survivors back in the mainland? Mugel couldn't really tell. But what he actually could tell at the moment was that perhaps The Blue Guard needed some more training. He'd join in training himself, but he's an older man now and his bones are more brittle. Farfadillis was... An interesting place to live in that's for sure.

As he put the tablet on the table, a person walked into his office. Tedd Van De Lruzhingen was the assistant manager for The Blue Guard before the disaster, and Mugel knew the man well. He's only a year older than the current manager, and the two have gotten along very well. He had lost his wife in the incident, having saved their son from falling rubble. "What have you called me here for, Mugel? The team's training is about to be over for the day." The assistant manager stated, taking a seat in front of the younger man.

"Well, wanted to talk about the team, originally." Mugel spoke, which piqued Tedd's curiosity. What did he mean by originally? Whilst the two were good friends, on the job, Mugel was quite different. He wasn't the same person as a goalkeeper and as a manager, though perhaps that was natural to the older Krygorf. Mikel meanwhile, from what Ted had observed, was the same person in any case. Mugel then proceeded to write something down, a lot of something, Tedd could tell. Whatever it is, it seemed important.

Mugel then gave Tedd the sheet of paper. It was... A list apparently. Training schedules for individual players and when the team should train together, a lot of stuff really... Stuff that Tedd didn't expect for Mugel to ever think about. "Are you very sure about this?" Tedd asked, Mugel could only nod as a response. The latter knew that every individual on this team was unique, this isn't the same era where a system would be set in place. Each player couldn't always fit into a single system, and in this case, it was individuality that would allow them to thrive. These were all players with different skillsets, and a system would only harm them. "Just get it sorted, I believe in what I am doing." Tedd responded with a smile.

"You really did change, after all this time."

[Paradystopia]

"Fire on the whole!"

There was an almighty 'Thwwt!' and before they knew it, the Jaoaan keeper watched their net ripple behind them. At this point, surely Error's super sub; a high powered air cannon designed specially for a football, had just won the game for Paradystopia.

Olii applauded sullenly from the bench having been left out of the team sheet on this occasion, lest he continue to upstage Error with his sparkling form in front of goal. He had hoped that when Error elected to sub off Grumpy Gustav, who had contributed little in his 75 minutes on the pitch beyond marshalling the centre circle and hissing or pecking at anyone who dared defy him, that this would be his chance to inject some pace into the game and claim that important winning goal. With the crucial home fixture against Cardenao their next match, they couldn't afford to be dropping points. Not when they had an outside shot at hitting the playoffs.

Error however, had other plans. Having tripped on his elegant cloak in close enough vicinity to a Jaoaan defender to be awarded a free-kick that was within range of a viable attempt on goal, he shepherded Gustav from the pitch, and wheeled out the ball cannon X-4000. Rather than burden himself with dragging it about the pitch for the final 15 minutes, he also swapped off a defensive penguin for the sack of turnips, and had Filthy play out the game in midfield whilst harnessed up to the ungainly piece of machinery. After a brief protestation over the yellow card he received for time-wasting (Neither shepherding a goose, nor installing a vast sack of turnips in a goalmouth, nor strapping a large cannon to the back of a baboon are quick tasks alone and needless to say, the referee had grown increasingly exasperated over the length of delay to the game to the point of punitive measures), everything was eventually primed and ready for the free kick. Like a bullet, the ball had screamed into the top corner of net. It had apparently taken a deflection on the way through, though this had done little to alter the path of the ball and had only really resulted in a brave Jaoaan midfielder within the wall having to leave the field with a suspected dislocated knee.

The Jaoaans rallied, but with the Paradystopia's substitute keeper 'bolstered' following their opening day loss to Aphrilia, they could find no way through and succumbed to a one-nil loss.

Jaoaa 0-1 Paradystopia

---

Cannon X-4000 83'

---

How Paradystopia didn't lose to Cardenao is anyone's guess.

Or, more aptly ...

How Cardenao didn't completely annihilate an abominable excuse for a Paradystopi national football team is the sort of thing that someone should probably lose their job over. Maybe followed by a day or two in the stocks to be pelted with animal faeces and rotten vegetables for good measure.

To say Paradystopia were outclassed would be putting it far too finely. For all intents and purposes, Cardenao should have won, and won comfortably.

Far be it from us to say what went wrong for them, but we'd hazard a guess that our choice of home ground hampered them greatly. A bleak rock, amidst a tempestuous sea, with just about enough grass to support a football pitch. Battered on all sides by salt-laden icy winds whose banshee shrieks provide the only soundtrack to the action, given the total lack of stands and by extension, fans. 'tis a cruel and foreboding place, and possibly as unfit a location for a football match as any place can be whilst technically still being within the rules as a viable place for a kick-about.

Needless to say, we'll gladly take the result, but we're dreading the return fixture.

Paradystopia 0-0 Cardenao

[Indusse]

---

---

Know your Team!

With the Centenary Edition of the World Cup on the way, Indusse is all set with their squad to compete their way into the final stage. While the team has a few familiar faces in them, there is a bunch of players who are here in the national camp for the first time. "Know your Team!" is a special section of our reporting that focuses on introducing the team to our readers. Two players will be introduced to the readers, every issue. While we introduced four of our players till date, today will take a look at another two. These two shall mark the completion of our Defence line and jump to the midfielders range.

Dhananjay BHATTACHARYA
Position: CM | Age: 20 | Club: Sindvpore FC | Apps: 7

Dhananjay was born in the town of Navapura in Sindvpore Province to a Sanatana priest family. Bhattacharya was the youngest of his three siblings, where all the three decided to pursue their interests in football at a young age. The three brothers joined a local club at the age of eleven, playing for their juniors team. But, Dhananjay was the only one who was able to keep up with the pressure and build up his skills. With improving his performance time to time, he got selected to play for a province level club known as Paltanpur Titans. Back then and still now Sindvpore FC conducts special selection trials at local clubs of Sindvpore and as part of that they visited Paltanpur's academy. At the academy, the Talent Acquisition Officer (Sindvpore FC) noticed Bhattacharya and referred him to the authorities and that gave him the oppurtunity to shift his home club to Sindvpore FC Youth. While playing for Sindvpore FC Youth he was able to showcase his numerous skills and his flexibiity to play in defense and midfield. This had also played a major role in appointing him as the Youth Team Captain. His performance in the Sindvpore Youth League which eventually got him the "Rising Star" award was made a huge news and that led to his name being discussed in a potential National Under 18 Squad. When the final list for the Under 18 Squad was announced, Bhattacharya was included and named captain. That's when the player also got promoted into the Sindvpore FC primary squad. Bhattacharya has been a flexible player with huge leadership qualities and is expected to be having the capacity to be a national team captain in the future.

---

Raphael O'SHAUGHNESSY
Position: RW | Age: 18 | Club: FC Städeli - B | Apps: NEW!

O'Shaughnessy is credited to be the first player from his province to be selected for the national team. O'Shaughnessy was born in the island of Saint Federich (District in Rockies Islands Province) to a Catholic Couple who had been serving as Engineers at the Memphis Shipyard (Operated by the Government). Since his parents had to spend most of their time at work and travel, he used to be send to his grandparents house. It was his Grandfather who used to be a old football player in the locality who made Raphael to be also keen in playing ball. His Grandfather later decided to send him to a local club at Memphis at the age of twelve, known as Port Memphis Youths. He continued to play as a right winger for Port Memphis Youths until the age of fourteen when he was selected to play at Salingam United's Youth Academy. This was when he was also selected to represent the country in the Under 18 World Cup. His performance in the national camp earned him a sudden promotion to the Primary Squad of Salingam United. Soon after multiple foreign clubs started to offer contracts to him and he was signed by the Taxhavn side FC Städeli's youth team. While playing for the FC Städeli Youth, he had been a successful playmaker which soon got him to be in the club's B Team. O'Shaughnessy is a adamant individual who is willing to learn new skills and learn from his mistakes. He is been considered as a player who can play flexibly in all three sections of the ground, let it be the Attacking Side, Midfield or even the Defence.

---

Clean and Clear!

Group Twenty Four seems to be very tightly packed with results that are turning the opposite of what the Pundits had predicted. Indusse at the same time is having a good laugh since they have been able to continue their wins in their fifth and sixth matches and ensuring that they are safe at the group leader position. Multiple Pundits after the draw had decided that Indusse and the rest of the group would face a huge challenge competing against the Pot 1 team, HUElavia as well as the Pot 3 team and Baptism of Fire Champion, Osnari Federation. But things have not been very favourable to these opponents, HUElavia seems to be in a situation of dilemma where they are not able to make a lead and gain points. Indusse has not yet met them in the schedule and is meant to very soon. Even though HUElavia is not able to give the performance and results as they want, the team from Indusse is in High Alert. Manager Camanin at the press conference made a statement saying that one can never predict when someone delivers a blow to them when they are way superior but silent recently. Taking the case of the Eagles; the team from Osnari Federation, things have not been in favour of them when it comes to meeting Indusse. They have never been able to register a win including the last matches. This maybe because of how well we have studied their team when they met Indusse at Home and Away or maybe after learning about them in the championship journey at Baptism of Fire held in Indusse.

While all these discussion took place, Indusse travelled for an away gave with Nova Dackians at their soil. Nova Dackians, a team who currently is in the bottom of the table was never deemed to be a threat to Indusse's run for victory. Indusse wanted to continue their victory streak and also wanted to start a streak of not letting the opponents score goals. Since the beggining of the game against Nova Dackians, Indusse had been keeping up the possession for themselves. Ignoring a few interceptions and mis passes, the ball never reached the legs of the opponents for a long amount of time. This was made very visible when Indussean captain, Mersiás scored a goal through a volley at the twenty third minute. It was just another counter attack that the team was making and the opponents felt that they could have easily intercepted them as before. When the ball was with Grundjee and he made a move towards the post everyone thought that it was him who would make a shot. But to everyone's surprise he chipped the ball towards Mersiás who ended up scoring through a very beautiful volley. The Captain shows the crowd who the real winner is going to be. Indusse kept on with the momentum not letting Nova Dackians making a successful move. When the first half whistle was blown, Indusse kept the lead of one against none.

When the second half started, it wasn't having much difference. Maybe you could see minimal gain for the opponents but they could not make any noise. Meanwhile, Indusse kept on continuing with their claim over the possession. Adding to the lead, the captain himself showed up with a wonderful header goal at the sixtieth minute further sealing the victory. The game continued with the usual flow, Indusse making chances and the opponents unable to make any. Salt was added to the wound when Djenkzo and Grundjee scored goals making the lead four against none. Mersiás who had his time in the match was substituted in the eightieth minute, making way for Vineeth. Mersiás decided to handover the captain's band to senior player Paulson who has had a history of leading the team in a few matches. Indusse continued with the attacking mentality even after the fourth goal was made, whereas the opponent kept struggling to make a move against the visitors. To everyone's surprise, Nova Dackians was able to convert a chance. At the eighty sixth minute, they were able to score a goal which did not even matter in reason to the result.

At the next game, Indusse faced Warkus at home. Warkus, a pot four team from Anaia had been playing football in the international arena way before Indusse had their first appearance. Warkus came to New Hind City with experience and talent in hand. Meanwhile Indusse came with the determination and courage to withstand. Pundits hoped that Indusse would carry with the victory streak and awaited for the game to begin. As the game progressed, everyone felt nervous because both the teams were able to make threats to each other. Both trying their best to open the lead. At the thirty sixth minute, Grundjee made a cross towards the box which was well connected by Rahul and kicked into goal. The stadium cheered, but alas! It was called offside. The whole stadium was disappointed after all they cheer for their home. This trend continued till the half time whistle was blown, Indusse 0-0 Warkus.

Everyone in the crowd was waiting for the next half, a opener half is it? or is it the deciding half? The manager said that it would be the Indussean Half. It hadn't taken a lot of time to get that to happen. Indusse opened the scoring with a wonderful goal by Rahul at the fifty fourth minute. A long ranger, that everyone thought was too far for a goal. The game resumed and everyone was in hopes of a victory. Indusse was more confident than the previous half whereas the squad from Warkus started struggling. The game continued with Indusse taking over the possession. At the sixty nineth minute, Grundjee took a run for a counter attack. A run that made the fans believe it would be a goal but just before reaching the box, he was tackled aggressively and he fell down. Grundjee got up and started to get aggressive with the defender. The Referee called for a free kick which was taken by Djetson. He was confident that it would be either a direct free kick goal or off the post. His belief was right, a direct free kick goal further cementing the lead. Now Warkus was done, they grew restless, aggressive trying to make necessary interception for possession. They were able to do that, keep the possession for a while but unable to score goals. Their thirst for goal ended abruptly when O'Shaughnessy showed up with a sudden bicycle kick inside the box. Minute eighty two and Indusse leads three against none. Now Warkus was tired, atleast Indussean felt that way and that did remain the same till the final whistle. Indusse secures three points against the Warkus Duel.

Nova Dackians 1–4 Indusse
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson, Akshay, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaugnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Mersiás (c), Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: Mersiás ⏷ Vineeth ⏶
Goals: Mersiás (23', 60'), Djenkzo (68'), Grundjee (76')

---

Indusse 3–0 Warkus
Playing XI: Shehzad (GK), Cyrus, Paulson, Akshay, Bhattacharya (All Defenders), O'Shaugnessy , Grundjee, Djetson (All Midfielders), Mersiás (c), Rahul, Djenkzo (All Attackers)
Substitutions: Grundjee ⏷ Juan Jane ⏶
Goals: Rahul (54'), Djetson (69'), O'Shaughnessy (82')

Other Headlines

• The Refrainers Bargain!
  Rubber Chicken thieves who call themselves "The Refrainers" decided to contact the farms they stole from asking money in return of the chickens. Authorities are trying their best to trace their source but they claim that the perpetrators are using illegal methods to access the calls.
• Nisarga Floods: Death Toll hits 15
  Fifteen individuals including women and children has been reported to be dead due to the heavy floods at the banks of River Nisarga. Over 40 reported missing, evacuation process in line.
• Nisarga Floods: Government announces financial assistance.
  The Cheralam and Saharanchal state government has announced financial assistance in rebuilding the region around the flood affected areas as well as financial assistance to those whose families lost their loved ones.

---

OOC: The Player Images are AI Generated.

[Seeberg]

“They told me to do some commentary about current events, like whether the Horkenheimers can finally break their away-game curse or the gross impropriety you come across when you travel the Welt-jenseits-der-Berge,” said Sigismund Schiltze and adjusted his feathered green felt cap, “but how can you say something about today and tomorrow without firstly discoursing protractedly on the many yesterdays of time gone by,” he continued and took a long swig from his stein while seated beneath the bronze statue of Doktor Kanzler Matteus Tolleknolle in the middle of Fisimatenten Platz, just across from the Ministry of Recht. “So while you might expect a small treatise on how to win in ARITRAROY or the harlots of Jerusalem, I instead invite you to sit down and submerge yourself in the story of How The Horkenheimers Ended Up Here.” Herr Schiltze devoured his last bite of a particularly chewy Käsekuchen and smacked his lips in contentment, before continuing: “Call me old fashioned, but when the pendulum swings, it always swings back, and so I suggest we now proceed to Part 10, wherein we briefly chronicle the Vergoldete Age of Seebergundian FußBall.”

”After its inception, the Brinterberger Liga quickly grew even greater in popularity. FußBall became not just a game, but truly a societal fixture. A weekly ritual, a source of Stolz, identity and more often than not unhealthy expectations and heartbreak. Attendance quickly soared, local economies flourished and local rivalries became ever more entrenched.

Doktor von Wackelstein remained head of the SFV for well over two decades and presided over a fairly harmonious and largely successful period. The crowds were more or less well-behaved and the game itself developed into a true national pastime and was no longer the exclusive domain of the lower classes. Sunday afternoon on the sidelines could be quite the social mixer at times, at least when the elite’s preferred teams were playing, and upstanding publications like Algemeine Newspaper, The Welt-am-Berge and Brinterbergundia Daily all expanded their athletic coverage to include FußBall and started rivaling The Brinterberger Beobachter for the position as prime purveyor of FußBall related news and analysis.

On the pitch, the first decades witnessed the dominance of teams like Münsterheim FBV, Felina FußBall, Staad FBV and BSV Gneis, who all took turns claiming the Liga title. Smaller, at the time less successful, associations instead made the still ongoing Brinterberger Cup their priority with some luck, and associations like Dinkelbrot Fußball, BSV Oxwaldstadt, and BSV Allmannsdorf became known as Cup specialists and together they came to claim many a Cup trophies over the years. It was Münsterheim FBV that truly emerged as the standout force of Liga dominance of the first decades though, with three consecutive triumphs in the 6th, 7th and 8th Brinterberger Liga, returning with a vengeance to claim both the 10th and 11th editions, and continuing to be successful in the following years. The Münsterheim team of those days boasted stars like the relentless midfield engine Ingo Quartzheim and the nimble striker Johann Straussler, but most will agree it was the tactical prowess of the aptly named coach, Ingemar von Taktik, that made the northerners such an overwhelming opponent. It was von Taktik that pioneered Das Alte 3-5-3 formation, which was a 3-3-3 with two flying wide midfielders who were tasked with constantly running up and down the pitch, making the team an aggressive 3-3-5 in attack and a robust 5-3-3 in defending themselves. The success of Münsterheim was a huge inspiration for other associations and it didn’t take long until the 3-5-3 was a standard formation and strategy amongst the Liga teams, with a few honest exceptions, like Felina FußBall and Baden-Baden-Baden FBV, who stayed true to their respective philosophies of 4-6-1 and 7-2-2.

Doktor von Wackelstein eventually passed the SFV torch to Michael von Schilling-Schultz. The eldest son of a prominent Brinterberg family with deep VfdaRdB connections, some say he was unqualified for the position and only attained it through filthy nepotism, although his record of service within the ministerial world was pristine enough and he had previously proved himself a competent administrator within the cultural sector. However, there was no denying that von Schilling-Schultz was an unsuitably progressive progressive, and his tenure is marked by ambivalent feelings for many. While he retained the Code of Spectatorial Decency, its implementation was significantly more lenient. The SFV downsized the Game-Gastgeberstaffel, and transferred considerable responsibility for spectatorial propriety to the associations themselves. The result became a significantly more feisty atmosphere during games, with singing, waving of flags and other explicit gestures, serving of bier during games and overall heated emotions.

Wir sind die alten Jungs aus dem schönen Münsterheim, scheiß auf Dinkelbrot, Oxwaldstadt, BBB und Hügelheim

Example of chant from Münsterheim fans during the von Schilling-Schultz era

Some look back upon this period with nostalgic fondness, saying that the game had never experienced such a festive Rahm, and while this is no doubt true, the downside of this hands-off approach was an unvermeidlich increase in unwanted chaos. Drunken spectators often quarreled before, during and after games, and while the remaining GGs and the purpleshirts of the ßa never had any real trouble keeping the social order at large, there were several incidents that stand out for remarkable and unfortunate brutality. Amongst the most infamous incidents was the so-called Terrible Tuesday, which occurred during the 26th Brinterberger Liga, where Knackwurst taunts against the Dinkelbrot side they’d just beaten a few days before escalated into a fullblown fistfight in the park just off Neues Altes Rathausstraße causing a spectacle that would last long into the night and only reach its conclusion after four full squads of purpleshirts managed to disperse the rambunctious crowds by breaking a sufficient amount of legs and noses. Incidents like this, and the overall debaucherous atmosphere in the stands, tainted the game’s reputation amongst the upstanding people of Seebergundian society and was something of a setback in terms of the game acting like a socially cohesive force, and for a good few years old lines of conflict reemerged and there was once again loud whispers of discontent amongst the flâneurs on Schönes Brinterberg Allee, Rheingutstraße and Morgenmuffel Platz.

The situation was defused by several parallel developments. The Institute for Sozial Research, out west in the St. Paulina Quarter, released a scathing critique of institutionalized FußBall titled “From Subversion to Serialization: The Death of Radical Play,” arguing that despite the occasional emotional outburst, the Liga had domesticated the spirited potentiality found in guided mass hysteria and turned it into a tool of hegemonic pacification. Even the elderly Professor Adorableheim conceded that the Liga’s revolutionary potential was «moderate at best», and this contributed to cooling down the most inflamed FußBall opponents. At the same time, von Schilling-Schultz’s tenure as head of the SFV was brought to an early end after only nine years and he was replaced by the significantly more strict Doktor Amadeus Wingholter, who would go on to lead the SFV for the next thirty years.

Doktor Wingholter was a hardliner - some say an excessively reactionary reactionary - and swiftly centralized implementation of the Code of Spectatorial Decency, also making several revisions that severely limited the crowd’s abilities to express themselves (and took away the opportunity to drink bier at the games), including re-staffing the GG and broadening their authority in keeping the order around stadiums before, during and after games on Sundays and turned large parts of town into a fortress during the Cup-Wochen.

The von Schilling-Schultz years saw a shift in the center of gravity at the top of capital FußBall, where Felina and Gneis continued to be regular contenders but associations like VfB St. Paulina, Ballclub am Fluss and Knackwurst FußBall replaced earlier giants Münsterheim and Staad, who rather slumped into a deep decline. This era of south-western dominance carried over into the reign of Doktor Wingholter, and the lacking Liga fortune of northern and eastern associations - and to a large extent central ones, although SV Brinterberg would eventually become an outside challenger - resulted in local rivalries in these parts of town cooling off, together with a general decline in FußBall interest as such with decreasing attendance numbers. This is often pointed to as the first sign of the decline of the Vergoldete Age of Seebergundian FußBall.

The decline was gradual and it’s hard to pinpoint a date when the golden age was over, but most agree it was a fact during the later stages of the Wingholter era. Contributing factors, apart from an already developing lack of interest in certain parts of town, was that the game itself changed and evolved in different ways. Doktor Wingholter was of the mind that FußBall had grown far too intense, and further rules designed to slow the tempo of games were added. Among the most notable changes was no longer allowing substitutions and shortening the break between the first and second half to three minutes, making sure the tempo of games would naturally slow down towards the end, or players themselves slowing down throughout the game to last all 60 minutes. Doktor Wingholter also revised judging guidelines, making refereeing stricter and ushering in an era of unseen use of the tiered warning system. Punishments for philosophical misconduct, tactical nihilism and aesthetic violations skyrocketed, and this contributed to games being increasingly chopped up into short segments of actual play in between prolonged breaks for bookings or players getting a «talking-to». This eventually changed how the game was played, and over the years FußBall increasingly turned into a game based on strategic use of set-plays upon resuming play after breaks, making it almost resemble staccato foreign sports like gridiron or a sort of human chess. This fairly fundamental shift in how the game was played once again reshuffled the usual suspects at the top of the table, because some were clearly better at adapting than others. Previous perpetual underachievers BSV Mordorheim, from the central parts of town, rose to the top due to the coaching geniuses of Herman Frank and Friedrich Dohlmainzer, who pioneered a toxic blend of tactical cynicism and long throws that perfectly suited the «new» game, whereas old FußBall royalty like Felina and BSV Gneis failed to adjust and struggled to remain contenders.

Wingholter’s proper version of FußBall survived his tenure as head of the SFV - and Wingholter himself, but that’s a different story - becoming the unquestionable norm during the reigns of his successors for the following decades. FußBall, both the game itself and everything around it, grew into a well-oiled machinery and a pinnacle of efficiency. This also contributed to it growing in something even more important, namely respectability.”

[Atymnius]

---

---

MATCHDAY 5:
DĒMOS VS UNITED STATES OF ALPHA

---

Odyssey once more proved too much of a literary dissertation for our BoF graduates as Atymnius sailed through a comfortable victory.

In the times gone, there was once a notion of a club so devastatingly oofian, that the brain rot of such a country melted from its head and the gold rushed to its feet.

Ghant, himself, would have a taste of such delight as all the football knowledge of Alpha poured down into his calculating machinations.

A: Hello everyone! I am Apostoli Apostoleris and I’m proud to bring you the very best of Dēmosian matchday football in the World Cup, Matchday 5! Mike,would you care to give Dēmos’ performance so far in the group-stage?

M: Indeed I would also like to join you Apostoli! I think the Dēmosians are definitely in a challenge, 4th place finish, would in a sense mean disqualification so I am hoping to see star-quality…

The whistle blew as grassroots ambitions reached boiling point. The Dēmosians knew they needed to win, only to win. They could not spare those half-baked.

Putting his shirt to his mouth, Rafail eyed his opinions hungry for food.

And so immediately began the procession.

Following a quick tiki-taka to outsmart the oofian crowds, Rafail got the hook of suggestion from Theodosis and, in the clear of a counter-attack, the result could only be evident.

M: GOALLL! Wonderful kick from outside the box as a challenge to the keeper was denied!

A: Yep, and it was a most excellent finish, just right down at the right-hand corner.

The proceedings continued as the first-half commenced.

A tense follow-up response from the lackadaisical Alpha team continued, wishing to assert their dominance in their own right.

Coming right, however, of of the pan, ABaconHair led the Alpha forwards towards a potent attack, nonetheless, immediately Ghant clicked:

Dice fell down.

ABaconHair was submerged in oil. The oil of a thousand sores of possibilities, the possibilities of Ghant. Grasping at the pig in hope for meat, Ghant engulched ABaconHair as they looked at bim, already pacing with one foot in the air, ball in the other. In any attempt to control—as he always has.

Leading the momentum with his au pair, Thedaisos, inevitably—

A: GOALLL! A sounder for the Dēmosians! Ghant scored a volley on the right as it bulged in the left-hand corner.

M: Excellent build-up between Valentinos, Thedaisos and Ghant and so a most comfortable finish in the end.

The match would then ring at half-time.

After, therefore, the whistle at half-time, the Alpha team, in any attempts for survival, held their clasps intertwined in a hive cocoon as a significant force resulted in a potential merit—

M: GOALLL! Beautiful volley from the United States Alpha—

And yet such merit is relative for some animals are more equal than others.

Their goal was overshadowed. Overshadowed by conniving, by doubt, who knows? What was known, however, was that the Spanish Salamander punished the incorrigible as the final whistle blew—

M: Well that is it everyone. What do you have to say about Rafail’s brace today?

A: He was on fire, never let down and—

—ensured a most thorough defeat.

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MATCHDAY 6:
WHISPINIA VS DĒMOS

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Post-Match Review

Contrary, however, to the verbose sayings of crude men in defeat, the match against Whispinia was nothing but a mere memory, a ridiculed tale.

The Dēmosian regional football team lost in another underdog claim as Whispinia ruffled the feathers of Ghant’s tactics, a control-less sludge-oil.

M: We are proud to announce from around the grounds that Dēmos lost 4-2. Two goals from Ghant with four in favor of the Whisperers.

[Crpostran]

[Kanzlia]

Rarity-o-meter
✦★✮✶✷✹☠
Rank 4

✹ KAM H.P. Department groupchat #wewantmoresubsidies

_ | ⮌ | ☒

⬆ Scroll back up to view previous conversations.

◄ C.W. - 22:40
Sent an attachment titled:Centraal Wire Transfer 921-002-18.png

◄ C.W. - 22:40
"There, 15 Gelders right?"

◄ C.W. - 22:41
"Never take me to that pub again."

◄ C.W. - 22:41
"Not with Mike atleast, you're embarrassing me."

► A.C. - 23:48
"hehe sorry sorry, wont happen again" ✓✓

-- TODAY --

► A.C. - 07:28
"cas, do you have anything in mind for the continental?" ✓✓

► A.C. - 07:28
"this plane is kinda boring -.- " ✓✓

◄ C.W. - 07:33
"Hmm."

◄ C.W. - 07:33
"I suppose you can talk about the windows, the one related to
metal fatigue and the like."

► A.C. - 07:36
"?" ✓✓

◄ C.W. - 07:37
"Ann, the case study about oval windows."

◄ C.W. - 07:38
"The case you learn within like a month of enrolling."

► A.C. - 07:36
"oh yeah right right i remember now" ✓✓

◄ C.W. - 07:38
"The one about how antifreeze effects the shape of a window?"

► A.C. - 07:43
"yeah that one right" ✓✓

◄ C.W. - 07:44
"You muppet."

◄ C.W. - 07:44
"I made that up."

◄ C.W. - 07:44
"Can't believe you forgot that already, you asked me to teach it to you
before an exam, remember?"

◄ C.W. - 07:45
"Whatever, I'll write the case study for you."

► A.C. - 07:54
"sorry sorry, i'll buy you something later :p" ✓✓

AVIOIBSIA CONTINENTAL

FIRST FLIGHT: 1953
WINGSPAN, METERS: 36.8
NO. SEATS: 36
SPEED, KNOTS: 377
WEIGHT, TONNES: 35.1
NO. BUILT: 352
This Kanzlian jetliner was Kanzlia's first.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ✹ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

We talked about the Avioibsia Intermediary last time, the piston-engined plane that came at an unfortunate time when a new propulsion method was being perfected. The dawn of the jet age was knocking and Avioibsia was determined to catch their competition off-guard. In 1943 Avioibsia was already researching into turboprop engines, which was naturally a stepping off point for the inevitable jet tech. They first put the turboprop engine to use with their Schatzki-Avioibsia J.V. Ardent fighter plane after plenty of insisting which is a story for another time. But whilst Avioibsia was working on the turboprop, they were also researching further into "proper" jet tech. Other firms have already begun their own research into it, and with industry connections, Avioibsia wasn't left behind.

Seeing how fast the technology progressed, Avioibsia began plans to use the jet engine on an airframe. They began with a single-engined trainer aircraft with their Z-2 whose plans were sold off to a foreign manufacturer. Satisfied with how the Z-2 prototype functioned with their new engine, Avioibsia set bigger ambitions. In 1947 with the Avioibsia Intermediary going underway and its first orders were coming up, plans to reconfigure the airframe for a jet engine was already drawn up. The conversion was not simple, but I'll leave that to Cassandra.

In 1950, Avioibsia was beaten to the punch by a foreign manufacturer in their race to build the first jet liner. With a lessened sense of urgency, Avioibsia observed the new jet liner closely as they look for a design flaws that they otherwise wouldn't have known. Perhaps the biggest design flaw was the shape of their windows. I'll also leave this to Cassandra, but essentially square windows did not distribute the stress of pressure difference as equally as oval or circular windows, which is why you'll always find circular windows aboard liners today! This particular design fix became a huge advertising point for Avioibsia, only made effective as the foreign liner was grounded after crashes caused by said design flaw.

In 1953, Avioibsia rolled out its first Continentals and due to the aforementioned grounding, orders were racking up. Most of which infact came from the same clients that bought the previous Intermediary. Nearly 200 units was built in its first five years of production as it successfully filled in the niche of the medium range/regional market. However, the Continental was far from reliable, nor safe. Do remember that pioneers typically have to face the brunt of their new technologys shortcomings, and Avioibsia was not to be spared of this fate. One of the biggest flaw of the Continental was the structural integrity of its wings. The added weight of the new jet engine pushed the wings structural limit to its maximum and when met with inadequate maintenance or just simply slightly overweight, it tends to just, fold up. 6 units suffered this fate with a combined fatality of 153 between 1955 to 1960.

But what ultimately drove the Continental to its extinction, to put it dramatically, was its capacity. It didn't improve on the Intermediary's 36 seats as it was essentially the same fuselage. Even though much of the worlds liners at the time weren't as concerned as stuffing as many eggs into their planes as they are today, its measly 36 seats was struggling to turn a profit for many airlines. Many Continentals was expanded to fit in 42 seats and at most could reach 57. In 1960, Avioibsia put an end on the production of the Continental. The last Continental was retired as recently as 1999.

In total nearly 400 Continentals was produced and it had multiple international users. You can find an example in the museum grounds, though as of writing its still under maintenance. Due to the Continentals distinction of being the first Kanzlian jetliner, we've ranked it at 4. Only made lower due to the fact that this design represented the end of Avioibsia's venture in the civilian market for years to come. Probably because they were working with an airframe from 1938.

So, ever wondered why windows in your commercial plane are oval-shaped? It all boils down to safety, and a good rule of thumb in any industry is that safety codes are written in blood. Unfortunately, oval-shaped windows isn't an exception. When jet liners came to be their windows were square, or boxy, and even though they are rounded, they still have corners. This wasn't a problem when planes flew at lower altitudes, but jet liners were only cost effective at a much higher altitude than older piston-engined aircrafts. So we flew planes higher.

Except that came at a cost. Oxygen at the altitudes jet engines were most effective at was much thinner, too thin for our land dwelling lungs to handle. Without pressurisation we humans would faint and die from the lack of adequate oxygen. So cabins was pressurised to prevent that happening, essentially pumping compressed air from the engines into the cabin to maintain an environment similar to being on the ground. This led to another problem though, that being the difference in pressure between inside the cabin of the plane and the atmosphere outside meant that the cabin expands slightly as the air inside the plane wants to go out into the lower pressure atmosphere. This leads to the cabin getting slightly stretched over time as the airframe goes in and out of high altitudes. Our planes aren't made from hardened steel, so naturally small cracks began to form.

On one single flight, these small cracks wouldn't be a problem, but commercial planes dont just fly once. They enter in and out of high altitudes thousands of times in their lifetime. These small cracks grew larger and much more serious over time. But do you know one thing that accelerates the cracks? Squared windows. How? The thing with square windows is that its corners, even if rounded, acts as stress concentrators. Cracks are easily formed there and they unfortunately did. Back when the first jet liners came to be, the dire effects of that isn't well understood. So when jet liners began crashing all of a sudden after a relatively incidentless few couple of years, people understandably panicked. Thankfully the flaw was identified quickly and oval windows became the industry standard.

Unlike square windows with its straight corners that funnel pressure into it, oval-shaped windows have no corners. That's the genius of it, get rid of the corners and the problem is pretty much gone. Avioibsian engineers didn't have to learn this the hard way as they observed and studied others who did have to learn it the hard way.

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Kanzlian Historical Planes Series - Card #0103

Sponsored by the Kanzlian Aviation Museum - 19:30

[Aphrilia]

PART 3 / The Runs And Races For The Crown (2 of 3) (Educational, Informal)
Written by Emma Rhodes
This is a continuation of this previous post that I made. To understand the context of this post, please read the previous entry!

Four Season Crown
Four races, one across each season with completely different conditions, surface, weather, among many more factors. Winning these four races will grant a horse the honor of the Four Season Crown. Only four individual horses have been able to accomplish this feat.

SOVEREIGN CUP SPRING
Limited to four-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 3600m/18F, Turf Surface, Maccarine Racecourse, Clockwise

The Sovereign Cup Spring is the first leg of the Four Season Crown, held on the final week of March, a full week after the Maccarine Sprinters Stakes. Inaugurated in 1937, the race was originally held at a distance of 3000m. But in 1949, the distance had been extended to 3200m, making it the longest Grade I race in the country before being extended again to 3600m in 1956. Whilst the race would be considered an unofficial Grade I race for it's early life, it became an unofficial Grade I race in 1961 due to marketing and elite competition. It received official Grade I status in 1984, when the grade system was introduced. Notable winners include Ever Rendition in 2019 as this marked his first GI win after finishing outside the top five in every race he ran as a three year old, Premonition in 1990 to become the first (And so far only) horse to ever win the Sovereign Cup Spring three times in a row, and Rose Eclipse in 2001 to become the first filly to ever win a Grade I race at such distance.

SOVEREIGN CUP SUMMER
Limited to four-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 1600m/8F, Artificial Surface, Kildalk Racecourse, Clockwise

Recognized as the second leg of the Four Season Crown, the Sovereign Cup Summer is held on the final week of June. It is also the only Grade I race that is held on artificial (Or "man made") surface. Inaugurated in 1955, the race was originally held at a distance of 1800m and was known as the June Stakes. It received it's current name and distance in 1963. It was one of the first races ever created to be held on an artificial surface instead of the natural dirt or turf surface commonly used. It received unofficial Grade III status on it's conception, but only took two years to be promoted from an unofficial GIII to GII and then to GI due to the challenge the track's unique nature provides. The race received Grade I status in 1984. Notable winners include Gimlet The Tool in 2009 for the ridiculous move he and her jockey made near the rail that won them the race, Red Blue Fire in 2021 for quickly stopping after crossing the finish and proceeding to walk towards the stands as if to bask in the cheers the fans were giving him, and Itstartswithone in 1985 for finally beating rival milers Fortune Admiral and Northern Be after having raced against them often for the past two years.

SOVEREIGN CUP AUTUMN
Limited to four-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2200m/11F, Turf Surface, Trosspine Racecourse, Counterclockwise

Known as the third leg of the Four Season Crown, the Sovereign Cup Autumn is held on the final week of September, a week after the National Mile Championship. Inaugurated in 1943, it had been previously known as the Autumn Falls Stakes. It was marketed to be a big race by the AHRA, and thus was considered as an unofficial Grade I race from the get go. It became part of the newly formed Four Season Crown series that the AHRA chose to form, and received it's current name that same year in 1955. The Sovereign Cup Autumn was granted Grade I status in 1984, on the year that the grade system was introduced to Aphrilia. Notable race winners include the likes of Dreamy Roads in 2002 after chasing down famous escaper/front-runner Silent Track, Fair Play in 2018 for winning by escaping from the pack and building up a lead so massive that no other horse was able to catch up to him on the final stretch, and Black Hail in 1990 after an iconic duel on the stretch against Crown Jewel.

SOVEREIGN CUP WINTER
Limited to four-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2600m/13F, Dirt Surface, Northworth Racecourse, Clockwise

The Sovereign Cup Winter is the fourth and final leg of the Four Season Crown, held on the final week of November. It is the only Four Season Crown race not held at the end of each season, as it would clash with the Aphrilia Memorial. This race was originally known as the Foxhall Winter Stakes (Unofficial Grade II), inaugurated in 1932. It was then demoted by fans to an unofficial Grade III when the ANRC was formed in 1951 and took over management, but the AHRA intervened and took it back to form a new series of races for senior horses, known as the Four Season Crown. This was also when the race was given it's new identity. After that was announced, it was given unofficial Grade I status and it would be official when the graded system was introduced. Notable winners include the likes of Fortune Sister in 1997 for becoming the first ANRC registered horse to win the race, Sora Glacia in 2011 for the fact that her jockey Jacob Oliver chose to not wear a jacket in the freezing cold (And still won anyway), and Marsanpoly in 1988 for supposedly kicking down one of the fences that made up the rail in part of his celebration for winning the race. He continued to kick fences even after retirement and until his death of natural causes.

THE ALL-STAR RACES
Two races at the middle and end of the year, with entries decided by a popularity contest. The two races that are labelled as Grand Prix's.

MIDDLE-YEAR NATIONAL STAKES
Limited to three-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2200m/11F, Turf Surface, Salterford Racecourse, Clockwise

One of the two races known as All-Star races, the Mid-Year National Stakes (Officially the Middle-Year National Stakes) was inaugurated in 1951. It was originally known as the Half-Year Grand Prix Stakes and was meant to serve as an alternative All-Star race to the Aphrilia Memorial for horses who couldn't stay the full twelve and a half furlongs. It was given unofficial Grade I status on it's conception, and was renamed to it's current identity in 1966. The MYN received it's Grade I status in 1984, when the grade system was introduced. Notable winners include the likes of The Lovely Record in 1999 for completing what is still considered the only "Summer Grand Slam" in Aphrilian horse racing history, Jon Jey in 2005 to complete the first ever sibling 1-2 alongside his younger full-brother Jey Jon, and Horace Smile in 2023 for winning by maintaining the exact same average speed throughout the entire race and not slowing down or speeding up for even a second. How he won was still a shocker.

APHRILIA MEMORIAL
Limited to three-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2500m/12.5F, Turf Surface, Darlingtown Racecourse, Clockwise

Considered to be the premier race of the year, the Aphrilia Memorial is the final race of the Aphrilian horse racing calendar, hosted on the final week of December as the last race. It was created by the AHRA in 1940, as they believed that a race should exist for the best racehorses in the entire country to compete in. Originally named the All-Star Derby Stakes, it was renamed to the Aphrilia Memorial when Luscious Luca, the favorite for the first edition, had tripped during the race causing a major incident. He was unable to recover. The entire country mourned for him, and a statue of him was built on the entry path to the stands. It received Grade I status the moment the grade system was introduced. Notable winners include Ambience in 1994 when he shocked everyone by defeating undefeated Triple Crown winner Frozen Wintersea after having won the Mid-Year National Stakes, Medallion Stone in 2017 for clinching his first Grade I win after finishing 2nd in GIs on seven different occasions (And becoming the oldest flat GI winner at 10 y.o), and Enchantee Elysia in 2004 after beating classic rival and Triple Tiara winner Beginner Guide and 2003 Triple Crown winner Aerial Ace.

THE INTERNATIONAL RACES
Races where foreign participation is frequent. While all GI races in Aphrilia can be attended by foreign horses if they meet the requirements in order to participate, these races are specifically designated for foreign competitors to join as well. Of course, Aphrilian horses are prioritized for entry, but certain slots are designated for international competitors.

APHRILIA INTERNATIONAL
Limited to three-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2400m/12F, Turf Surface, Luther Racecourse, Counterlockwise

Considered to be one of the most prestigious international races among the likes of the Grand Prix de Atlan and the Sangonomiya Cup, the Aphrilia International is held on the third weekend of August. Slots are allocated between foreign competitors and Aphrilian horses, whether they are AHRA or ANRC affiliated. The inaugural race was announced on the same year the graded system was introduced in 1984, and thus the race has remained as an integral part of the Aphrilian horse racing calendar while also becoming a key piece to the culture of the kingdom's horse racing industry. Notable winners of this prestigious affair include horses such as Awesome River in 1985 to not only be the first ever winner but also first back-to-back winner, Continental Days in 2006 for marking the first time an Aphrilian horse won since 2000 after foreign horses started to have a winning streak at the Aphrilia International, and Solstice (SGN) in 1992 as the winner of a five horse duel when crossing the finish side by side (Along with, in placing order: Cross Heart, Dangerzone, Miela (NVV), Lasker Flight (SGN)).

KNOXVILLE DIRT INVITATIONAL
Limited to four-year old and above colts & fillies
Distance of 2000m/10F, Dirt Surface, Knoxville Racecourse, Counterlockwise

The only Grade I race not managed by the Aphrilian Horse Racing Association, instead, it is managed by the Aphrilian National Racing Commission. Created in 1983, it was organized for local Aphrilian horses to compete on an international stage against the best dirt racers from the rest of Eluwa. Entry to the race is considered tight, with fixed slots assigned for ANRC, AHRA, and Foreign affiliated horses. It was given Grade II status in 1984, and only received Grade I status some time after it had originally been promoted to a Grade II, in 1987. Notable winners of the race include Prinz Klaus (BRD) in 1990 as the first ever foreign horse to win and be the first Brunstadtian horse to win a dirt GI, Red Butcher in 1989 for becoming the first two-time winner of the race (Having won the 1988 edition), and Midnight Clair for not only running her own pace in the race but also breaking the all-time record at the track by over two entire seconds (OLD: 1:59.72, NEW: 1:57.39) and not looking like she broke a sweat throughout all of it.

ADEL CITY CUP
Limited to four-year old and above fillies
Distance of 2000m/10F, Turf Surface, Salterford Racecourse, Clockwise

The Adel City Cup, while an international race, was only given that classification in 2001. The race, named after the nearest city of Adel, was inaugurated in 1961. It was considered to be an unofficial Grade III race, before becoming an unofficial Grade II in 1972, and then becoming an unofficial Grade I race in 1986. Before this, it primarily served either as an end-year target for senior fillies who looked at the race as a stepping stone for international filly races by November or December or as a (Albeit somewhat unreliable at times) test race against the colts in the Aphrilia Memorial. It's held on the second week of October, slightly unusual according to many fans of the sport. Notable past winners include Mira Haze in 1986 as the first winner of the newly promoted to Grade I race, Lilly Valley in 2011 for going in between two horses twice throughout the race to get a good position and win with a powerful kick, and Miss Pillow Win in 1995 for: a. winning the race back-to-back, b. setting the new race record, and c. giving Elephantintheroom her first defeat as a four year old.

[Kordavia]

During their time in Crpostran, the Kordavian players were enjoying the relative freedom offered to them. Secret service protection, reduced capacity public gatherings, 23,000 fans, all of these were considerably more generous and liberal allowances than would be the case for teams, both home and away, playing in Kordavia. The players were used to the jackbooted scrutiny of the Ministry of State Security. Crpostran, by contrast, was practically a libertarian bordello for them. Though they lost the match 2–0, they had a day to themselves before their return flight, and that day happened to coincide with 31 October, which just happened to be, in Kordavia, Ernteseelenfest. Therefore, the players had decided to organise a costume party, drawing lots for foreign countries and coming as the person with the best, or most spoOoOokiest costume for that particular culture!

Stalwart defensive back Aleksandr Becker had drawn Drawkland, and was dressed up in a giant number 8 novelty foam suit. A similar lack of imagination was on display for reserve striker Friedrich Eisenwald, also in a foam suit, this one in the shape of a letter E. No prizes for guessing he’d drawn Zwangzug! And no prizes in general; we want something a bit more inventive for the winner.

Right-back Niklas Greb stepped it up a bit. He had drawn World Cup hosts Tikariot. His bright and colourful outfit seemed at odds with the normally dark and forbidding mood of Ernteseeelenfest costumes, until you remembered the metalheads of Tikariot wouldn’t be remotely put off by that sort of thing, but would be absolutely terrified by a K-pop musician! (K standing for Kordavian, but the musical content varying little otherwise.)

Winger Petar Dusnov was getting disapproving looks. Not because of his poor play – he hadn’t featured much in qualifying so far – but because of his poor taste in choosing his costume. The Great White Hunter elephant poacher outfit complete with (thankfully fake) elephant tusks was upsetting those players who felt an enduring fondness for South Newlandia. His fellow winger Leonid Stravenko could also have taken some lessons in good taste. Yes, his costume, a completely purple outfit, was an obvious choice given he’d drawn Krytenia, but with this rumoured to be their last World Cup entry, it seemed a cheap shot.

Even the backroom staff were invited to the party, including media officer Eeva Ronsik. She had come dressed simply as a fully clothed and normally proportioned adult human woman, sure to strike dread in the heart of the nation she’d drawn, Jeruselem. But there was no doubting the strongest costume so far, from Barto Kleem, equipment manager, who had understandably taken his assignment seriously. He’d drawn Tumbra, and had turned himself into a puppet (feared, or at least loathed, by all good Tumbrans) complete with a complex string pulley system and an unnecessary entry that would cost others ranking points.

Not all the costumes were so elaborate. No fewer than four different players had come dressed as elves because that’s just how badly everyone who isn’t Valanora has been scarred by their experiences over many World Cups. Tomasz Krennik had drawn Farfadillis and had come dressed as a Mytanar, while Lukas Dren had drawn Mytanija and had come dressed as, you guessed it, a Farf. Reserve goalkeeper Jonas Feldrik had been a last minute call-up to the squad and hadn’t had time to work on his costume, so when he drew HOT-DAMN, he just hung an “Out Of Beer” sign around his neck.

But the winner was flying right wingback Olav Riismar, who’d made some eye-catching, if not particularly incisive, appearances off the bench so far during qualifying. He had drawn defending WC champions Audioslavia. He was wearing a giant sandwich board, on which he’d carefully pasted graphing paper, and filled it out with data about historical World Cup matches. If you squinted really hard, you could notice a small error in the spreadsheet data that would lead to everything else in the document being incorrect. So spooky!

[Katzeburg]

Katzeburg 7-2 Kaumann
Field 8', 20', 48', 68', 74', Plank 38', Howland 80' // Effendi 14', Nishikido 87''

1 Ry Whinery, 2 Katharine Howland, 3 Erik Clarkson, 4 Monday Mynatt (Cale Fux 65'), 5 Laurence Herman, 6 Serena Plank, 7 Joachim Newell, 8 Elmer Spears (Gwen Sessions 65'), 9 Meriel Arkwright, 10 Lloyd Field, 11 Drake Wruck (Leith Coburn 65')

Possession - 67% / 33%
Shots - 25 / 18
Shots on Target - 21 / 11
Fouls - 10 / 15

Manuelian Empire 1-1 Katzeburg
M.Ret 73' // Wruck 22'

1 Ry Whinery, 2 Katharine Howland (Jana Linton 65'), 3 Erik Clarkson, 4 Monday Mynatt, 5 Laurence Herman, 6 Serena Plank (Brandt Godfrey 65'), 7 Joachim Newell, 8 Elmer Spears, 9 Meriel Arkwright, 10 Lloyd Field (Walton Hershey 65'), 11 Drake Wruck

Possession - 30% / 70%
Shots - 5 / 8
Shots on Target - 2 / 5
Fouls - 16 / 7

(OOC Note - Images for LoE and some of the KBC site have been generated using AI. For best viewing quality, please follow this link.)

The following is an excerpt from a series of articles published by leading Katzeburgian gaming magazine Starter Life.

For many of us at Starter Life who spent time on Eternia Island, one of the coolest functions of the game was the ability to tap into the flexibility of the world to allow for unique roleplaying roles and ways to imprint (literally) on the game's world. Indeed, some of the staff who work in the offices can trace their lineage in journalism all the way back to Lands of Eternia itself; being journalists for the historic Eternia Times. The in-game newspaper, founded by one of the small beta testing group which got initial access to the game before its wider launch, was the hub of in-game news and behind the scenes gossip for many years on Eternia Island - but the tale of its initial editor and the fate of its first ever office is one which forever enshrined its place in the lore of the community.

The Eternia Times was the brainchild of a young high school student from Katzestadt - Eddy Clark, who at the time of the beta launching was entering his final year of high school. Now 27 years removed from the first edition of the in-game paper, the 46-year-old editor of Katzeburgian music magazine SnareAxe invited us into his office to chat about the game and how it kickstarted a love of journalism for him. "I was basically looking for a way to blow off studying," he laughed. "I had my role at the high school paper which was draining a fair bit of time, but I wanted to do something else away from school altogether, and that's when I spotted a request for beta testers in the paper. It seemed like a bit of a laugh and hey - it gave me an idea to delve into writing about fictional world, so why not?"

Eddy picked a username which aligned with his overall ambitions in life. One which would ultimately become well known across Eternia Island for its unwavering commitment to journalism - mr_editor. After a little bit of time testing out the various systems of the game, he decided to start sharing his ongoings and quest progress on a small website he named The Eternia Times. The first issue of the long-running paper would be released shortly after the game would go live to the wider public, with initial stories highlighting the launch of the game itself and an interview with some of the other beta players about how they spent the beta period and their initial impressions of the game. "It was far from perfect," Eddy told us as he pointed proudly to the first issue which hung on his office wall - something he himself had printed out years prior to remind him of his journalistic roots. "My writing was really sloppy and full of so much padding - I literally spent a couple of hundred words talking about the various colour schemes of some of the guilds at launch!"

But whether due to the novelty of an in-game paper or because of the fact people rather enjoyed the writing of mr_editor, the Eternia Times took off. Readership built steadily over the first 18 months, with mr_editor quickly instilling ways of monetisation for the paper in game to ensure that the eventual staff of the Eternia Times could fund travel to anywhere across the Island to cover whatever story was breaking. "We started relatively small things like typing in chat to donate to the Eternia Times guild if you liked our writing," Eddy said. "Then we started putting that on the external site and that helped tick us along. What the real kicker was when the devs came to us and said 'let's get your paper printed in-game'. That was the spark."

Mercer Software, the developers of the game, were passionate about helping grow community engagement with the game and the Eternia Times was a huge win-win for the company, so they quickly backed the growing publication, allowing behind the scenes editorial access to the developers to highlight upcoming expansions or bed in potentially controversial changes on the horizon, while also providing an in-game route for characters to access the paper itself - cutting out the need to jump out of the game to read the paper. All a news-reading player would need to do at the height of the Eternia Times in BK1 was visit the guild's grand office at the heart of the city of Craydon Hill and pick up a copy for 2 gold pieces per edition. Circulation was high in the initial stages of the paper under the editorial guidance of mr_editor, with data suggesting at least 70% of the Lands of Eternia playerbase had read at least one issue of the paper within a four-week period.

As the paper grew, so did mr_editor's skills and confidence in the art of journalism. "I remember one of the first big stories we broke was the assassination of stratonic, actually," Eddy said. "We had a reporter on the ground for when that broke and we also managed to break the story that it was a bit of an inside job. I even remember logging on to see the trial of the assassin to cover it for the paper - I had to end a date early just to get back in time!" The paper broke the vast majority of in-game stories over the first few years, but this dogged commitment to journalism drew both praise and anger from those covered in the pages of the Eternia Times. It would be because of one story in particular that would change the trajectory of the paper in the early years.

"It was a story about an organized crime ring which popped up in some of the larger trading bazaars," Eddy told us. "We saw it in game a little when stratonic built his dream city and the market was cooked for a while, but this was on a much wider scale - groups were actively holding base level resources hostage to drive up costs and rake in the gold. We ran a couple of articles about it, going in depth and even getting a player to go undercover in one of these groups and ran a massive expose basically asking the devs to do something. They did, but it cost us dearly in the end."

The organised crime ring which mr_editor is referring to is a bigger story for another day, but what's important to note for now is that once this news broke in the Eternia Times, the developers stepped in with some heavy-handed bans, decimating a number of groups but at the cost of painting a massive target on the back of the Eternia Times and its editor. This would come to a head the week after the expose was published in December BK1, with a group of banned players re-joined Lands of Eternia under new accounts in the dark of Katzeburgian night and quickly making a beeline for the offices of the paper. The group would then use a minor exploit to 'attack' the building with fire spells, quickly hitting an exploit which would see the fire spread to the rest of the building - essentially putting it on fire.

"I remember getting a phone call at two in the morning from another guild member," Eddy said. "She basically just said 'the building is on fire'' and I was left going, 'What??'. It didn't even cross my mind that you could set fire to buildings in game and had to think I was simply hallucinating. It took her a few minutes to get the actual impact of what was happening across to me."

By the time mr_editor logged on, the building was already on its way to being destroyed, but in a futile yet meaningful moment, he decided to run into the building to try and extinguish the fire. While he made some minor progress, the flames would eventually overwhelm him and the building - torching the both of them to the ground, destroying the office of the only paper on Eternia Island in a dramatic moment which was witnessed by dozens and eventually wormed its way into lore as the jealous actions of an evil group which was caught out by dedicated journalists. "It was almost poetic in a way," Eddy said with a wry smile. "We pushed and pushed against numerous groups it was almost a certain something like that would happen to the paper at one point or another. I just didn't expect to be part of the wreckage."

With no in-game office to now work from, interest quickly waned at the paper - with many player journalists opting to either shift guilds in search of new ways to play or quitting entirely, too exhausted by the concept of working back up from nothing. This sense of exhaustion would even go all the way up to the founder himself, with mr_editor playing for another couple of years before fading out of Lands of Eternia entirely. "I stopped playing because life got way too hectic for me to carry on after university," he said. "Once I got into my final year over at Aberstadt I got a couple of job offers at regional papers and real-world journalism quickly sucked up all my time. But I wouldn't be where I am today without Lands of Eternia, and while I stopped playing, I always liked to check in over the years to see what was happening with the game, as well as the paper itself."

The Eternia Times would eventually cease publication in AK17, some 20 years after the first-ever issue of the paper, with declining readership and publication costs (the bulk of the paper's archive being stored on a separate website which gradually cost more and more over the years to maintain) being cited as the main reasons the players behind it opted to end publication.

"It was disappointing to see it didn't make it to the end of the game's life, but to see something essentially built from my bedroom hang around for two decades, a regime change, and thousands of players coming through the paper's doors - it's an indescribable feeling. Games like Lands of Eternia are crucial to helping people find their place in the world, and I know it did that for me all those years ago - I just hope that our next generation have a place they can be welcomed and encouraged to grow like I had."

---

Away form continues to be a concern as Blue Cats smashing goal-scoring record

By Otis Huffman, KBC

Another World Cup Qualifying window, another mixed bag of results as Katzeburg picks up four points to keep the side in the playoff mix at the end of the first third of the campaign. But the three points the Blue Cats picked up was one of their best performances in years, as the side stormed to a 7-2 thumping of Kaumann all thanks to a five-star showing from Katzestadt AFC forward Lloyd Field.

Field destroyed the Katzeburgian record for goals scored in a game with his five-goal haul against Kaumann, completing his hat-trick shortly after the half-time whistle to put the Blue Cats 4-1 ahead before breaking the record with a header in the 68th minute off a Meriel Arkwright cross. While Kaumann would pick up a couple of consolation goals from Genggong Effendi and Supri Nishikido, the game was all one-way traffic for the hosts, collecting their third win of the qualifying campaign.

However, the form would dip once more away from the confines of Katzeburg, as the side would labour to a sluggish 1-1 draw against lowly-ranked Manuelian Empire. Despite another dominant spell of possession for the Blue Cats - retaining over 70% of overall possession - the side failed to add to their tally for the match after Drake Wruck opened the scoring with a classy left-footed finish in the 22nd minute. The Empire would fire back with one of their only real chances in the game in the 73rd minute after their striker would knock the ball under a diving Ry Whinery - but neither side would be able to find the breakthrough they needed to net the win. Katzeburg would come the closest to snatching all three points in the 89th minute through substitute Walton Hershey, but the Littleport AFC striker's nodded effort skimmed just wide of the right upright. The draw sets the Blue Cats on 10 points after their first six fixtures, good enough for third in the group behind early runaway leaders Pasarga and Katzeburg's first matchday conquerors Natkr.

"It was important for us to come through this window undefeated and we definitely achieved that with a good win and a draw here," manager Becka Haberkorn told media after the side's 1-1 draw in Manuelian Empire. "It's a bit disappointing that we dropped more points away from home despite putting in a dominant performance here, but going to another nation and picking up a win is never an easy task. I felt we were good value here for the win, but we just couldn't make the most of our advantage."

"It's still too early for some of the doomer comments I've been hearing about from sections of our national support - these things are a marathon, not a sprint. It's quite clear Pasarga are the team to beat in the group and their form has been pristine so far, so that's the standard we need to get to ourselves. We've got a couple of challenging games coming up over the next few windows which will make or break our campaign, so we need to be ready and keen to fire."

Katzeburg head into the next window facing the Bye, meaning they only have one game on the docket for the next window - against unranked Atheara at Maplewood Park in Axmund; a game Katzeburg will need to pick up a full three points from to remain in the playoff hunt. According to boffins from the KBC data team, current projections for Group 21 suggest that Katzeburg have a 25% chance of progressing through to the playoffs based on where they sit currently, compared to their nearest rivals Natkr having a 55% chance - the matchday one win over the Blue Cats doing much of the heavy lifting at this early stage.

[The North Polish Union]

Uwe Bärwald is arguably the most famous fashion designer from the Union and the designer of sports uniforms for both the national football team and the Olympic squads. He joined our interviewer for a conversation about his life amid the centenary World Cup as his nation wears his uniforms. He talks about his life, passion, and sporting opinions throughout this interview, which will be released as a series.
Part 1

INT: What was it in Berlin that would be so impactful?

UB: Upon moving, I sought work and was hired at one of the large department stores as a window dresser. I was responsible for displaying the items for sale and attracting customers to the store. It was here that I was placed in charge of showcasing the garments of the fashion labels on sale. Then after this I moved to the sales floor. In this capacity, I gained valuable experience in the marketing aspect of the fashion industry.

INT: What skills did you pick up that would be important in your later activities?

UB: You learn what fabrics the customers like, go to textile mills to buy them. At the textile mill, you see how the cloth is constructed, then use this knowledge to perfect the tailoring. You develop connections with those established in fashion and use that to advance your career.

INT: Is that how you became associated with fashion designer Alwin Schantz?

UB: Yes. At the time Herr Schantz was a major player in the Union’s nascent fashion scene. Having spent eight years or so moving up the ranks at the department store I was able to use my connections to get a spot designing menswear at Schantz’s firm. I was given remarkable freedom to pursue my own visions. You know, at that time we were not a wealthy country; the middle classes could not afford the haute couture of the fashion houses, but as prospects improved we longed for a stylish look that was affordable.

INT: How did you achieve this?

UB: I was able to take advantage from my knowledge of textiles, to find the right manufacturers for fabrics that would provide us high-quality cloths that could still be used in large-scale manufacturing with its neat, precise standards. At the time, most fashion houses were foreign, but I was able to freelance as well as my skills became more in demand, but I did not expect to run my own form at that time.

INT: When did that change happen?

UB: It was a couple of years into my work for Schantz, when I was introduced to my close friend and longtime partner Gerald Schöffer. He was working as a architectural draftsman at the time, but we grew close, and he was able to convince me that with my design abilities and knowledge of how to source the high-quality inputs for clothing, and with his drafting skills that we could succeed in opening our own design office from which we could freelance our designs. It was not easy at the beginning and Schöffer even sold his car to provide some additional capital! We eventually would become known well enough to work with many of the fashion labels of the time and began after a couple of years to get international business as well, which would prove to be how we earned our big break.

INT: Yes, it was at an international exhibition that you became known in wider fashion circles. Could you tell us about that?

UB: Certainly! It was at a show where we had many of our womenswear designs. I had mainly begun in menswear, but as the role of women in business and society changed Gerald and I saw an opportunity. In a show where there were many sundresses and shirtwaists, we broke ground in women’s business fashion by debuting a suit jacket for women. Chic enough to be feminine but still a display of the modern working woman. My knowledge of men’s suits came in very valuable. We eliminated much of the padding and sharpened the lines to accentuate the natural figure. This experience would allow us to develop our own niche and style.

---

FANS UNHAPPY AS UNION SHUT OUT YET AGAIN

The nation's football fans have not been silent about their displeasure with manager Udo Kluckhohn and the National Team's scheme and deployment over the first five games of World Cup qualifying. The team has only earned a single goal, coming in their lone win against Libonesia, and been blanked in their other four matches.

Their lone goal places them at the bottom of the WC hopefuls in attacking production, alongside a handful of other equally hapless contestants, and with 7 goals against, Union fans have seen the third-fewest goals total in the tournament.

"This is real sicko football right here" commented one fan. "Kluckhohn's teams are great defensively, but they can't attack at all, and the games end up being more boring than watching paint dry. Kluckhohn almost seems to make it his goal to make having a striker superfluous."

For his part, Kluckhohn maintains that his scheme is close to working as intended, although he's been accused of having a fatalistic attitude about the team's chance of success.

"Once we tighten up offensively, start completing those passes, we will perform better. Really, if you don't have a defensively responsible team, then what do you have left? Better to lose 1-0 than 10-0."

[Banija]

OOC Note to hosts and other readers: The following is a Map of Banija, Abahamba, and the Busoga Islands. Most of the credit goes to Tumbra. All three are ICly firmly independent countries, with historic ties to Banija- OOCly, all three of them are ran by the same user. Abahamba will be a large focus of this tournament for me, but as they are not in this tournament(for IC reasons that'll come out in due time), the RPing will be done mostly via Busoga and Banija. Abahamban perspectives will be written with both these nations.

OOC Note 2: Yes, hinting at WCC VP corruption. Obviously, it's very individual. Slight blur of OOC/IC lines (since it's technically an OOC position), but of course with IC ramifications.

Part 1: Intro to Abahamba
Part 2: A new Ambassador

WCC Vice President Robel Ezera, sitting in his high-rise office in the Kytler Peninsulae, one month before the start of World Cup Qualifying

Robel Ezera was sitting in his office in the Kytlerian capitol, smoking a cigar. Thinking about how things have changed. He had basically spent his entire professional career at the RSBA- first, at the feet of Adama Sowe, learning from one of Banija's richest men. And when Sowe went to the WCC(may he rest in peace), he ended up charge of the RBSA before World Cup 83- and remained in charge of it through World Cup 99. An insanely long time, 17 full World Cup cycles. Co-Chairmen of the World Cup 83, and World Cup 99, Host Committees. Three times, he has lifted the World Cup trophy- 86, 94, and 95. In his 30s, he started in the role, and now he was pushing 70. At the center of the creation of the Shango-Fogoa Premier League- from the BSL days, to the S-FPL days, he was at the center of all of that.

He was never one who was in the news much. He was fairly consistent about his role- a big figure in Banijan football. Obviously, his pushing through of the formation of the Shango-Fogoa Premier League, joining the top tiers of Farfadillis, Banija, and the Busoga Islands, was controversial- but it ended up successful. It is very popular, and many credit it with strengthening domestic football here in the Basin. He stayed even through the most controversial moments- stayed on after Banija didn't qualify for World Cup 89, and did so again after they didn't qualify for World Cup 96. His support and vision got the team back up to their usual standard quickly, and ensured those were one-offs- and not all-out disasters.

And now, his final job would be serving his three cycle term as the WCC Vice President, before retiring in his mid-70s. What he'd do with retirement, he didn't know. But it was an absolutely a good way to spend some time. He had never lived outside of the country! So he was enjoying his time here. He had bought a high-rise penthouse luxury apartment right in the center of Zube's downtown- despite his age, he liked to be in the middle of the hustle and bustle. And now, not in his home country, nobody recognized him on the street- so he could live in anonymity.

When he got a call from his friend, Isaac Lutombo, a man who he had went to college with at MIU, he naturally answered the phone. "How's it gone Isaac!" He said. They caught up for about 10 minutes- talking about family, among other things. "Why are you calling?"

"Hey Robel, you see Abahamba signed up for World Cup Qualifying?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah I did." He said, laughing. Abahamba, of course, was Banija's very reclusive northern neighbor- a brand new neighbor, considering the country's most recent northern expansion. "Embarrassing. Have you seen some of those clips? I'd put a thousand NSDs down, right now, on Cass Tech High School beating Abahamba in a friendly."

"They'll need a NGO just to ferry them to their games." Isaac said, in a joke with extremely poor taste about the rampant poverty in Abahamba.

"Ayyeee" Robel said, laughing. "What do you think about Abahamba? They're next to process their paperwork. We're gonna end up with 274 nations in World Cup Qualifying, isn't that insane! The Kytlerian branch of the Host Committee is down the street, so I go in there occasionally, as a WCC official- they're grinding around the clock."

"You think Abahamba can actually afford this?" Isaac asked.

"What do you mean?" Robel said.

"Actually getting to and from games. Yeah, they've got a stadium- but the travel costs are so high. Not like they'll be rolling in TV money." Isaac said.

"Hmmm." Robel said. "You know ,we shouldn't be having this discussion- it's not good." They started talking about other things, and then after about half an hour, Isaac hung up. But it got Robel thinking- could Abahamba actually afford to pay their own way? Paying players & staff, and then travel and what not? How embarrassing would it be for the World Cup if a team got stranded at an away game in World Cup Qualifying?

There were certainly no WCC regs about asking nations whether or not they could cover their own costs- that kind of stuff was assumed. Of course, there was no rule that he couldn't ask them, either. Robel decided to pen a letter to Prince Thuku, who seemed to be the Chairman of the Abahamba Football Association, the manager of the team, and the team captain. He asked for a simple proof of funds request- if Abahamba could detail how they would be able to financially support their team during the campaign, specifically, the costs of both transportation, and hotels, for away games, while being able to put on home games. Fair enough question, right?

---

5 wins from 5 as the Kadongo Kamu quickly assert themselves in what is becoming a 'torridly difficult' group in World Cup 100 Qualifying

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- The Banijans had their bye in the second half of the most recent World Cup Qualifying window, so they were able to lock in against Minoptra, whom they played away from home. The Banijans, while having to struggle, ended up pacing out to a 2-0 win. Goals on either side of halftime- with Son-Saka scoring in the 41st minute, while Ceesay put the game away in the 53rd minute, were the difference for a Banijan squad to pick up their fifth win in five games played. "It's not easy to consistently go out and win these qualifiers, especially on the road- but this team has done so." Trischuk, the team's South Newlandian manager, told reporters. "There are a number of teams in this group who are presently punching above their weight, and we have to continue to get results. We're laser focused on that- the performances are getting better as time goes on, but we will continue to improve."

This is one of the tougher groups in World Cup Qualifying so far. Four teams have double digit point totals through six matchdays, and Soviet Kem is right behind them with 9. Let's take a look at the top half of the table, as it stands, exactly one third of the way through World Cup Qualifying.

Reminder, the winner goes directly to the Finals, the runner-up to a single-legged playoff, and the rest, to the Cup of Harmony.

Group 14.                  Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Reçueçn                   5    5   0   0    14    0  +14    15
2 Banija                    5    5   0   0    14    5   +9    15
3 Kita-Hinode               6    4   1   1     6    1   +5    13
4 Kandorith                 6    3   1   2     8    6   +2    10
5 Soviet Kem                5    3   0   2     4    5   −1     9

Despite us having won all 5 games so far, and defeating two of the teams on this list at home(Kandorith and Soviet Kem, respectively) we are not top of this group. Nope, that belongs to Reçueçn- who is looking like prime Ko-oren out there, not having conceded, even once, across 450 minutes of World Cup Qualifying. "Their defense is rock solid, suffocating their opponents, and just draining their attacks before they even start." Said a Banijan TV commentator. "If you're not conceding, you're advancing, and Reçueçn is clearly doing all they can to get back to the World Cup. Remember, them and Banija were in the same group at World Cup 99- and Reçueçn kept a clean sheet against the Banijans, at a home World Cup for us. So Banijan players and fans are intimately familiar with exactly how good the modern rendition of the Reçueçn team is at defending."

But before that, we must continue on to who the Banijans are going to face in their upcoming games. The next window is another 2 match window- where the Banijans will play Kita-Hinode at home, before facing off agianst Libonesia on the road. That first game is going to be a tough one- 2v3 in the table, with the visitors looking like a top 50 team in Qualifying, as opposed to a team outside the top 400, like their ranking says. "They would've been tough to capture, but Kita-Hinode have been really good throughout this campaign." Said the Banijan captain, Son-Saka. "They are also an elite defensive side- only conceding one goal thorugh 6 games is an incredible record, and they are a team who it is going to be tough for us to stretch, even at the friendly confines of the Keystone Stadium. They've only scored 6 themselves, so they are going to sit back and really absorb pressure all game- we're gonna have to be consistent, and display mental toughness- don't get frustrated when stuff gets rejected, just keep at it."

They can devastate on the counter- it won't be often, but they can do so with effectiveness. "It's going to be a tough game." Said Banijan CM, Musoke Owole. "In the midfield, we're gonna have a lot of possession- but we're gonna have to make sure they don't smash us in the counter-attack. I expect a lot of physicality, and just little to no space to work- we're likely only going to have one or two really good opportunities, and they might only have one- it'll come down to who can finish."

The way the calendar is built, it is a tough road for the Kadongo Kamu. Yes, we are Pot 1. But, we showed you the top 5 above- we play the other 4 all at home in the first have of Qualifying. Meaning we have away games outstanding against all four of them, all in the business end of the competition. We've got Kandorith away on MD11, Soviet Kem away on MD13, Kita-Hinode away on MD16, and Reçueçn away on the final day of Qualifying. "The schedule it what it is- everybody's gotta play everyone home and away, so we're not really thinking about that." Trischuk said. "But that makes protecting home field advantage all that much more important. We've got great fans, and we're comfortable at home- and we're in one of the toughest groups of this campaign. Whoever gets out of this group is going to consistently take 3 points at home, and I wouldn't be surprised if the group winner won at least 7 of their 8 home games. That's our goal- and continue to be consistent in the games that the media wouldn't consider big games. We'll need contributions from all 23 members of this squad, and they'll get there."

Trischuk also confirmed that he plans to use a rotated squad on MD8, in Banija's away match against LIbonesia- but that he expects them to grab a win there regardless.

[Xanneria]

Also if anyone here is into Geoguesser, I made a Geoguesser map based on Xanneria and all locations in this series of graphic RPs. In fact the pictures used in the top right corner were taken directly from the Geoguesser map making tool.

Xanneria: The Inspirations

[The Sernetian Empire]

SERNESPORTS TV



contents:
1) Free Republics Thwarted!
2) Unfortunate loss to Jeruselem
3) Stoberus Pond's reaction to loss against Jeruselem
4) Pre-match review: Matchdays 7 & 8
5) How to get to Linsakion Intl. Arena (for Lisander supporters)

FREE REPUBLICS THWARTED! STEAMERS BEAT REPUBLICANS 1-0 AT SERNETESEN LIGHTHOUSE

the match:
Sernesports TV
reporter: Tadeusz Uwalski

Sernet extended their impressive home form with a narrow but deserved 1–0 victory over the Free Republics, a match that showcased their growing tactical discipline and efficiency under head coach Stoberus Pond.

The decisive moment came early in the game, at the 16th minute, when Wasori Oluwawa found space on the edge of the box and guided a precise finish past the visiting goalkeeper Peter Savage. It was a moment of composure in a match otherwise defined by control and patience. The supporters, thrilled by the concept of Sernet winning another match, were singing at the top of their lungs: 'COME ON STEAMERS! COME ON STEAMERS!'

Sernet dominated much of the possession, probing carefully through midfield and pressing effectively when out of it. The back line, marshalled superbly by Stirius Mantrostem, restricted the Free Republics to half-chances and speculative efforts from distance. They did come close at one point, with Republican striker Dennis Hoffman breaking through the line near the end of the first half, but his shot was expertly saved by Pasarowski.

Though the margin was slim, Sernet’s approach was clear: compact defensively, methodical in buildup, and clinical when it mattered. Sakayo’s energy on the flanks gave balance to their attack, while Z. Komstrowski anchored midfield with intelligence and composure.

As the final whistle blew, there was a quiet sense of satisfaction in the stands. It was quite spectacular, but the mood at Sernetesen Lighthouse wasn't as 'over the moon' as it was at Seven Bridges against Yangchenia. The match was professional, measured, and the kind of win that builds belief. With the result, Sernet continued to underline their credentials as a team on the rise in international football.

Final score: Sernet 1-0 Free Republics

UNFORTUNATE 4-2 LOSS TO JERUSELEM

Sernet’s 'no-loss' run came to an end in Jeruselem, where a combination of cultural unease and defensive lapses led to a 4–2 defeat against an assured and expressive home side.

The match was always going to be a test of adaptability as much as footballing skill. Jeruselem’s players and supporters, true to their nation’s long-standing nudist traditions, created an atmosphere very different from what most visiting teams are accustomed to. While the hosts appeared entirely at ease, the Sernet squad looked unsettled from the outset - hesitant in challenges, distracted in shape, and slower to impose their rhythm.

Jeruselem took full advantage, opening the scoring early at the 11th minute through Pete Hogbreath after a sweeping move down the flank. Sernet managed to level through Komstrowski's wonderful shot at the 22nd minute, sending goalkeeper Riley Reid to the moon, but moments of indecision at the back gifted Jeruselem two more goals before halftime. Those two goals were an own goal by Pasarowski following Yuri Samari's volley which he failed to save at the 35th minute, and another goal from Pete Hogbreath soon after at the 39th minute. The home side’s cohesion and comfort contrasted sharply with Sernet’s visible discomfort and lack of focus. A clear lack of Sernetian supporters also may have affected the squad's morale.

Pond’s halftime changes briefly steadied the visitors. Bolstings’s headed goal at the 72nd minute from a corner by S. Jatrowski narrowed the gap to 3–2, but Jeruselem’s fluid counterattacks continued to threaten, and a late fourth, from Davide Dante at the 87th minute, sealed the result.

Speaking afterward, head coach Stoberus Pond was candid about the challenge. “It was an unusual environment for our players,” he said. “We respect Jeruselem’s culture, but we didn’t adapt quickly enough. At this level, focus is everything.”

Sernet left with lessons to learn - about composure, about flexibility, and about maintaining professionalism regardless of surroundings. It was a reminder that international football is played not just between teams, but between ways of life - and on this occasion, Jeruselem’s calm self-assurance proved decisive. The steamers had unfortunately run out of steam.

Final score: Jeruselem 4-2 Sernet

Stoberus Pond about the loss to Jeruselem

In the aftermath of Sernet’s 4–2 defeat to Jeruselem, head coach Stoberus Pond struck a measured but direct tone as he reflected on a challenging evening both on and off the pitch.

“We were second best in too many moments,” Pond began. “Jeruselem played with freedom and fluidity, and we didn’t match that intensity for long enough. We had our spells, we scored two good goals, but defensively we lost focus.”

Pond acknowledged that the unfamiliar matchday environment - a product of Jeruselem’s unique, open cultural norms - had posed an unexpected test for his players’ concentration. “It was different, yes,” he said carefully. “The players are professionals, but they’re also human. It took us a while to adjust, and by the time we settled, Jeruselem were already chasing the game. That’s something we have to learn from.”

Asked whether he believed the atmosphere directly affected the result, Pond hesitated before responding. “I wouldn’t say it single-handedly decided the match - Jeruselem deserved their win. But I think it influenced how comfortable we looked in possession, especially early on. When you’re even slightly distracted at this level, you get punished. And it one hundred percent wasn't a factor to be overlooked, I don't deny that.”

Despite the defeat, Pond emphasized that there were positives to take. “We created good chances, scored twice away from home, and kept pushing to the end. There’s character in this team. We just need to build resilience in how we handle different environments.”

Looking ahead, Pond reiterated his confidence in the group: “This is part of our growth. We’ve come a long way in a short time. Nights like this test us, but they also prepare us for the next step.”

As the press room cleared, the tone among Sernet’s delegation was one of quiet reflection rather than frustration. The loss in Jeruselem had been unexpected in its circumstances, but as Pond made clear, the lesson was simple: adaptability is as crucial as ability in international football.

Pre-match review: MD7 vs Lisander @Linsakion International Arena, Sermeslau and MD8 vs New Rotterdam City, @New Rotterdam City

reporter: Czesław Jalińowski:

squad:

OG starting 11 for both matches, but expect substitutions.

Analysis:
First off we face Lisander at the Linsakion Intl. Arena in the beautiful city of Sermeslau. Ok, to be fair, it depends on what you see as beautiful. But still. nevermind. Lisander are currently 4th in the table, with the same amount of points as us, but they have scored more goals and so therefore are above us. They are a Portuguese-speaking nation, which will therefore make things interesting. Apparently they are big in the rugby world too. While we do play rugby here in Sernet, we don't really play in any international competitions. Maybe I should mention that.
As for our second opponent, we face New Rotterdam City, also known as 'de Oranjen', and according to their roster their manager has 0 football experience. We will be playing them at The Vreewijk Commons, where we can hopefully snatch some points.

Guide on how to get to Linsakion Intl. Arena, Sermeslau.

Welcome, Lisanderian supporters, to the wonderful country of Sernet! Thank you for visiting Sernet. You may find that our extensive rail network may be challenging to navigate, or that you can't seem to find where Linsakion Arena stadium is. This guide is designed to help you!

However, you guys are in luck, for we have managed to charter some exclusive flights from Soria to Sermeslau-Durslomof International Airport, meaning you won't have to bother flying to Sernetesen and then having to take the train to the other side of the country (although Sernetian railways are first-rate, its always more convenient to end up as close to your destination as
possible). From the airport, take Sermeslau Metro Line 1 to Linsakion (or you can take Skorkrosol Connect, your choice) and Volia, there you are. Sernet has an abundance of public toilets should you need the loo. If you wish to stay at a hotel, there are plenty relatively cheap but high quality hotels in Sermeslau. Staff will be at all mentioned stations and around the stadium to provide assistance. We hope this guide will allow you to navigate to your destination with ease. Enjoy your visit to Sernet!

[Soviet Kem]

Soviet Kem 0 - Kita-Hinode 2

By Bahav Xakin

Yet again another slaughter, we have lost to a team ranked 408th, I think that Ken Stavisk may be sacked for this performance, he can only seemingly win against teams that don't give any information, let alone even score a goal against a team with information. Ken Stavisk has also been playing deffensive football with an attacking formation, this is probably the reason we are sitting 5th in the group fourteen table. If our form does not improve, in my mind, I would sack Ken Stavisk and replace him with a new manager, and possibly replace him with Zaggy Nocklov, Zaggy Nocklov's system still keeps the same unique formation, but he runs a more attacking style.

As for the Kita-Hinode game, we lost 2-0, another failure of Ken Stavisk, we conceded in the 8th minute by a multitude of mistakes, so Hama Ushijima took advantage of the opening and scored from just outside the 18''. Genish II attempted a through pass in a counterattack attempt in the 33rd minute but failed due to the ball falling short. After the half Nort attempted to cross the ball into the box, but it was intercepted by Toshihiko Tsudome, who then started a counterattack that resulted in a 63rd minute goal by Brady Taylor. This game just goes to show that we can't even win at home against a significantly lower ranked team, all going to show that after we fail to get into the 100th World Cup that Ken Stavisk should be sacked. I do recognize that we made it to the round of 16 in the BoF, he is clearly failing on the largest stage in the multiverse!

Libonesia 0 - 2 Soviet Kem

By Bahav Xakin

With the conclusion of matchday 6 we have come off with a win. I still find that this pattern that has seemingly emerged, as Libonesia once again has posted no information relating to the World Cup, this is all lining up, and this theory that I have created seems to be true, Ken Stavisk can only win against teams that have not released any information. I am still on the side that Ken Stavisk should be sacked and replaced with Zaggy Nocklov, simply do to this theory, which has been true in all six games so far. As for the game, we came out thundering, with an early 2nd minute goal by Fen Nort, but not long after the Libonesian attack came back in the 14th minute, but it was cut out by Zoinski. Wnetia then dibbled through the Libonesian defense, but realized that he couldn't get pasted the keeper, so he passed back. In the 56th minute Fengski received an immaculate pass from Fen Nort, blasting it past the keeper to make it 2-0.