World Cup 100 | RP thread

[United States Of Alpha]

Live from Utopiatopia, United States of Alpha

The Alphanian soccer team has been placed in group 9. Some major contenders in this group are a possible puppet of the legendary mod Ko-oren, as well as Atymnius, whose writer apparently and evidently wants to be the next homer (I'm not kidding these bozos literally think they are Sparta).

Nevertheless, United States of Alpha faces Archalit and Dantopia in three days. Now for an interview with the one and only Oofio (famous for making Super Oofio 64):

Bloxburg reporter (weather machine survivor): So how do you want to play this world cup?

Oofio (in i dont know where) We need to go all out. We must defy expectations and edge out our opponents. Only then can we get to the playoffs.
It's okay if we don't make it the first time. We just need to try again. We won't stop until we win the World Cup.

Bloxburg reporter: What is your opinion on the other nations? They look tough.

Oofio: They seem, well tough like you said, but we just need to learn from and then beat the best.

Bloxburg reporter: Well that's all the dumb time i have. Someone just powered the weather machine to 3 and i have to cover it. See ya soon.

end of broadcast sorry to waste your time you can get back to football now

[The Sernetian Empire]

Sernefoot has decided, because some people are unfamiliar with our great nation, (and because this is our world cup debut), to provide our fellow competitors and their supporters with some information about Sernet.

THE METROSTOCRACY OF SERNET


The Metrostocracy of Sernet is a somewhat large nation located in MU, in some corner of the NS multiverse. The nation is centred around its capital city, Sernetesen, with other notable cities including Stensemertef, Nestomerisen, Sporstrodisen, Sermeslau and Sultriost. Outside of Sernet itself, the nation is known for its skyscrapers, heavy industry, dense rail network, fiercely patriotic population and propaganda chants. Sernet is also a football-mad nation, but until recently hasn't really competed against teams outside of its part of the NS Multiverse. Many Sernetians support their local football clubs, some of the most notable of which being Stronghold Sernetesen FC, Setelendisen FC, Governorate Dameristol and Loblinisen Wanderers. Bitter rivalries exist between some clubs, very fierce rivalries which barely ever subside. The main exception to the aforementioned rule is right now. When Sernet plays as a nation, all local rivalries subside and everyone unites to support the nation as brothers and sisters.

How to get to Sernet:
One can reach Sernet from all over the multiverse, and even if your nation doesn't have a direct flight to Sernet, you're never far away from a country that does (unless you're from some sort of unknown tiny rock in the middle of space floating through the void, in that case maybe not). Your flight to Sernet is most likely bound for Sernetesen Storimidros International Airport, Sernet's primary airport serving as a gateway to the wider world. Most flights from distant regions end up landing there. If your country happens to be located nearer to Sernet, such as Armatonisdaristan, you may be treated with flights to other airports too, such as Sernetesen West or Stensemertef. Sernet's national airline is the creatively named Sernetian Airways.
Alternatively, there is also the possibility of catching a cruise ship to one of Sernet's numerous ports, but we would recommend this only for those who really despise flying due to the hassle and long travel times involved.
Another alternative method of travel for those with direct air travel to Outer armatonisdaristan is to fly there and then catch the GUSM (Great Undersea Maglev) from Aberstorf, the capital of Armatonisdaristan to either Smoltrendestof International, Hostrisen International, Wosserom Obelisk, Gloristem Southwood, Sultriost City, Sernetesen Gateway or Sernetesen Arsenal. This option is recommended for those seeking the lowest fare, as GUSM is operated by Sernetrail, meaning fares are going to be extortionately low compared to air travel as Sernet loves trains and so encourages everyone to use them.

Below: A diagram of GUSM services. The orange line is the express service operating between Aberstorf International and Sernetesen Gateway, with no calling points in between.


Getting around Sernet
As mentioned previously, one of the things that are known about Sernet is its dense railway network, criss-crossing the entire country. One shall find that upon exiting the airport in Sernet, you are no more than a stone's throw away from a station. Especially in Sernetesen, one will find that trains are frequent, punctual (mostly), comfortable, safe and dirt cheap. It is by far the best way to get around virtually anywhere in Sernet. There is no city, no town, no noteworthy settlement which is not served by our magnificent network. Many cities in Sernet have massive urban transit systems, most notably Sernetesen, whose network encompasses a mass of metro, tram, light rail, heavy rail, ferry and express bus lines.
If for some reason, one fears the train, there are other ways to get about. Most places in Sernet are well connected by road as well. You can rent a car from Current Car rentals, and use it to roam around the nation. Bear in mind, we drive on the right in Sernet. For bus enthusiasts, there are relatively frequent intercity coaches operated by Sernetbus as well as a multitude of private companies, most of which whom provide a service which is worth the money, but it costs barely less than the train and is way slower. If you are into boats, Waterbus (ferry) services are for you, with many coastal and inland destinations being served by these miracle boats.
If you really fancy flying, I am sorry to tell you that domestic flights are very sparse in Sernet, and where they do exist, they're not cheap. The rail network is so efficient planes can't compete on a domestic scale!
Below: Bird's eye view of a Sernetesen Sprinter class 344 departing Salthouse Park in west Sernetesen.


Things to know
Remember that Sernet is a very patriotic country. If you start singing some kind of nasty chant you will most likely get jumped by a gang of hooligans sooner or later. Be warned. Police in Sernet is stricter than those in most liberal nations, and will not hesitate to use brute force if necessary. They are a force to be reckoned with. Another thing to be aware of, particularly with female visitors, is that there is a stigma attached to certain items of clothing, such as revealing swimsuits etc., Sernet is a relatively conservative nation. On the other hand, Females wearing such clothings also run the risk of being assaulted; the crime rates in some parts of Sernet is not great and there have been many cases of women wearing 'revealing clothing' being harassed and even abducted by some shady predators. But don't worry, this is not a grave issue and police are working thoroughly to combat this crime. Just dress sensibly, and don't venture down the back alleyways half-drunk at the dead of night by yourself.
That leads us nicely onto alcohol consumption in Sernet! We are well aware that many foreigners like to have a drink to celebrate their nations victory in a match (or to mourn their loss), but we have some rules and regulations regarding alcohol. (Also be aware that Sernet is a muslim-majority country and while the population is pretty progressive, most of them don't drink alcohol.) We ask that you only consume alcohol in designated areas and remain civilised. Alcoholic beverages will most likely be available to you in the hotel you're staying at and at bars.

Its a shame that we had to end on the grim and gloomy bits, but it's best for tourists to be equipped with this information so that they can enjoy their stay in Sernet.
Have fun.

me editing much later on: Sultriost has become Sultrisend in order to avoid confusion with sultriost governorate.

[HUElavia]

1,440 Minutes To Be Among The Very Best

HUElavia is drawn with familiar foes in a great shot to return to the World Cup!

Football Fever has taken its grip on The United States of HUElavia once again, especially with the World Cup Qualifiers draw having come and gone. Once again, HUElavia (18) was put in as a Pot 1 team for the Qualifiers, giving them very strong, expected odds to be a favorite to make the Final 48-team tournament.

In the Qualifiers draw held at the Jamison Expo Centre Main Hall in Zube, The Kytler Peninsulae, HUElavia was part of the 243-team field that would be disputing for the 30 direct spots, and the 15 that would be filled via Playoffs. HUElavia (18) was drawn into Group 24 with the likes of Germanic Cat (214), Bruinswik (283), Knights of LUSITANIA (336), Saperetia (UR), The Osnari Federation (83), Nova Dackians (336), Warkus (129),
and Indusse (53). It is nearly staggering to see the disparity of ranking between HUElavia and the rest of the group. The main highlight is of course a rematch against The Osnari Federation and one of the most anticipated and exciting rematches in these qualifiers will be against fellow Indies rival Indusse, in a rematch from the IAC. Despite the disparity of talent, Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos cannot underestimate and sleep on their opponents. Many newcomers are present, licking their chops in hopes of getting points and possibly making upsets in order to get their shot at making their 1st ever World Cup in such a historic occasion. And as past groups have been for HUElavia, they cannot sleep on their laurels against seemingly "weaker' opponents.

The HUElavian Football Association, along with local governments, have finally drawn up the official 8 venues that will be used for the qualifiers in this cycle. Thus, the 8 venues will be as follows: Estadio Nacional (100,000) and Estadio Capital (90,000) in Curumba, Estadio Salvador (85,000) in Sao Salvador, Estadio Internacional (82,500) in San Rafael, Nuevo Estadio del Rio (80,000) in Rio de HUEska Estadio HUGames (72,000) in Sega, Estadio Hueti (63,000) in Jinaqa, and Estadio Nativo (59,500) in Kuelap. The venues honor major HUElavian cities and the historic ties they have to the country.

Thus, HUElavia's schedule will be as follows throughout the Qualifiers:

Matchday 1:
Knights of LUSITANIA vs HUElavia

Matchday 2:
HUElavia vs Saperetia
Estadio Nativo, Kuelap, HUElavia

Matchday 3:
The Osnari Federation vs HUElavia

Matchday 4:
HUElavia vs Nova Dackians
Estadio HUGames, Sega, HUElavia

Matchday 5:
Warkus vs HUElavia

Matchday 6:
BYE

Matchday 7:
HUElavia vs Indusse
Estadio Nacional, Curumba, HUElavia

Matchday 8:
Germanic Cat vs HUElavia

Matchday 9:
HUElavia vs Bruinswik
Nuevo Estadio del Rio, Rio de HUEska, HUElavia

Matchday 10:
HUElavia vs Knights of LUSITANIA
Estadio Hueti, Jinaqa, HUElavia

Matchday 11:
Saperetia vs HUElavia

Matchday 12:
HUElavia vs The Osnari Federation
Estadio Capital, Curumba, HUElavia

Matchday 13:
Nova Dackians vs HUElavia

Matchday 14:
HUElavia vs Warkus
Estadio Salvador, Sao Salvador, HUElavia

Matchday 15:
BYE

Matchday 16:
Indusse vs HUElavia

Matchday 17:
HUElavia vs Germanic Cat
Estadio Internacional, San Rafael, HUElavia

Matchday 18:
Bruinswik vs HUElavia

As is tradition, 85% of the tickets will be sold to the HUElavian general public, while the remaining 15% will be sold to visiting supporters. It is expected once again to see the stadiums sold out throughout the qualifiers. Some do believe that some of these capacities are a bit of "overkill" for the list of opponents, per posts made on social media, but the HFA in a statement did release that given the historic moment that is World Cup 100, the venues were selected to give a chance to fill up the venues and honor the different cultures and regions within HUElavia.

HUElavia will debut their new uniforms, which involve 4 uniforms once more- Yellow Home, Blue Away, Green Alternative and White Alternative. Most have noted the brightness of the uniform, but per the official release, this is to reflect "A bright, new era in Multiversal Football." This bright new uniforms will serve as HUElavia's primary uniforms for World Cup 100/Cup of Harmony 92 and Independent Associations Championship 25.

it's a long marathon of 16 matchday in a great attempt to make it to World Cup 100. But there is good confidence and faith that the team will be in West Pavola in 2134. Perfectly 100 years of HUElavia participating in the World Cup Qualifiers can end with a World Cup appearance, and even more... The team and coaching staff is ready, and they hope to get a loud, passionate HUElavian crowd to cheer them on to a historic appearance. Here's to a historic World Cup cycle!

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Stewartika]

An Away Team’s Guide to Stewartika

So! Have you and the lads been grouped with the fine Prophet’s Land in World Cup Qualifying? Or do you just fancy a visit to see how our Pigs play? However you wanna go, this guide’s for you!

About Stewartika

Founded fifty-two years ago at the time of writing this by two travelers, Stewartika is the northernmost continent-based nation in RGBN, its home region. Don’t let that distinction fool you, dear traveler, because Stewartika is a land of many climes, passions, and peoples. From sandy, chilly Ozymandias in the east to idyllic Johanssenville In the west, there’s plenty to enjoy and see.

Your Venue


Beautiful, glimmering Pig City, where you'll live and die for your flag.

Illney Stadium, home of the Stewartikan Men's National Football Team. Picture taken facing inland, viewing Mount Akagi and the Golden Mountains.

Welcome to Pig City, the largest metropolitan area in Stewartika and its economic center. Home to heavy industry, the navy, foreign investors, the greatest seafood this side of Exscria, and some thirty-one million people in and around the city, this glittering gem on the edge of the Gaojia Sea will be where your games play out for the world to see. Specifically, they will be held in the Ilney Stadium, a massive, state of the art 100,000 seater stadium where your fans will watch you battle it out for a spot in the World Cup Finals! And after full time, blow off some steam on the Riviera lined with shops and clubs, or go see one of many progressive art exhibits around downtown. Just be careful for the bosuzoku gangs - they love loaded footballers like you.

Your Training Ground


The state-of-the-art Juno Road, 18 miles from city center.

Suburb-based club Porcuniam City FC has graciously lent traveling national teams their training ground, Juno Road, for any pre-match needs you may require! As they are funded by Panasonica, an extremely rich foreign company (not too many people in our S League 1 like that), expect the best of the best and everything to be provided as you work to get in shape for the big day! Maybe not free preem Neydonii sports cars though, eh?

Culture Survival Tips

Stewartika is a culture founded on politeness! Basically, say thank you (감사함니다), be nice to elders, and don’t be a shitfaced asshole. We won’t be held responsible if your starting striker gets held in jail during matchday for refusing to pick up after himself. You should be good if you follow those rules, though…

To Whom it May Concern:

Sajnur (Matchday 2)
Vetrahjart (Matchday 4)
Kelssek (Matchday 6)
The Afanc Strait (Matchday 9)
Skyberius (Matchday 10)
Ranoria (Matchday 12)
The Martian Independent Republic (Matchday 14)
Langenia (Matchday 16)

[Woodsmere]

The Hares to have another shot at the World Cup

Mendaj Hutti, Wassenstad Sentinel

---

Football fans across Woodsmere are waiting with excitement for the World Cup Qualifiers, with hope of at least qualifying. Being a nation with little involvement in international sports tournaments, this is a chance for the Hares to make history, and to make their nation proud. Flags are being hoisted, motivational messages are being spread online and Meares are feeling a sense of joy.

We spoke with the manager of the football team, Garċa Radjas, and asked him about the prospects of his fresh football team. He enthusiastically said, "Well, you have to admit we are not the best. But at the same time, we are not the worst. We've got together a suitable football team, we've got our Hare fans who are ready to cheer with us, and we have an excellent management. This time we have a chance: round two’s the breakthrough!"

So is this excitement all worth it? We'll find out when we face Himurajima.

[Yangchenia]

About Yangchenia

Yangchenia, officially the Dragon Empress's Domain of Yangchenia, primarly located on two planets. It is an absolute monarchy and a theocracy, and is Lacia's only necrocracy. Situated in the isolated northeastern continent of Msalka, it is bordered by the Queendom of Gesaria to it's West, the Altanul Nomadic Horde to it's southwest, the Voghulian State of Greatdux to it's east and the Khanate of Kungaria to it's south. Yangchenia is one of the least densely populated on Lacia, with a population at around 34,120,094 million people as of the 2024 census, despite having almost 2 million sqkm of land.

Despite being a small country, Yangchenia leads Lacia in the space race, with the country being one of the most advanced yet also very traditional. [2]The nation dedicated 10% of its annual budget to research, while a whopping 46% of the annual budget is allotted for Spirituality, as the nation is very religious, with the majority of the population adhering to the Yanginist Faith.

According to ancient religion, life in Yangchenia arrived from another dimension. On Earth, Yangchenia occupies around 1,000,000 sq km of land, mostly dominated by rugged mountains and hills, with large valleys and plateaus scattered all across the land. On Lacia it occupies around 2,000,000 sq km of land and is mostly composed of mountainous terrain to the South, with the rest of the country being dominated by snowy tundra. Yangchan, Yangchenia's Lacian Capital, is the northernmost capital on Lacia, while the main capital is situated in the city of Yangchen. However, since 1200AD, both realms have functioned separate from each other.

The Guul-La Dynasty is the current rulers of Yangchenia and have continuously maintained power for over 4000 years. Emerging over 5000 years ago, Yangchenia is one of Lacia's oldest nations, and home to many old civilizations. It's capital is the northernmost capital on Lacia.

Football in Yangchenia - the Blazing Dragons

Football as a sport is not that prevalent in Yangchenia, with the nation's most popular sport being different kinds of martial arts, from Kung Fu, Taekwondo, and even native martial arts such as Dailu - a form of martial art that involves rudimentary weapons such as sticks, slippers, and basically anything. However since the rise of globalization, and the popularity of football across Lacia, the sport has gradually begun entering Yangini sporting culture. The nation's first national football tournament was held in the 1960's shortly after the culmination of the Yangchenian Civil War - a time of great chaos in the nation. The Yangchenia Blazing Dragons was founded on 20 April 1969, by Weng Zhidao, as Yangchenia's national football team.

The majority of the Blazing Dragon's roster are former members of the military, and those that have competed in martial arts competitions, the dominant sport in the country - as they are seen as one of the most physical and skilled people in Yangchenia at the sport.

---

The sun arose over ...they didnt know where, and the Blazing Dragon team was already in the city, preparing for the World Cup. Hu Winwei stares at the giant stadium that looms in front of them, ever bigger than the one in Farfadillis.

It has been how many days since Yangchenia participated in the Baptism of Fire? The nation had participated in four matches during the entire tournament, winning against Rio De La Plata, drawing against Canamn, and losing to Shin-Zetsubo and Choppyhausen. But despite their meager performance, Hu knows that they fought valiantly against their losses, and he takes a weird sense of pride that the teams they fought against made it to the finals - even more so that their fellow group bracket team won the thing completely. As they say, diamonds are forged under pressure. And the Blazing Dragons certainly faced enough pressure during these past few months, more so that they were now dawning upon the most prestigious event in sporting history - the 100th World Cup.

The team was mostly the same members as during the Baptism of Fire. However, they were certainly not the same people. They now had battle experience, training, and most of all - determination and willpower to fight through the inevitable dark times when in a major sporting tournament like this. Even when some of them had injuries from the last tournament, everyone still showed up for the World Cup.

The team's main goalkeeper, Damdul Gyatso, took a harsh beating during the final match against Choppyhausen. The 54-year-old blocked many goals; however, it was at the cost of sustaining a rib fracture from the repetitive blows. However, he was adamant about representing his country in the World Cup. "Honor", he said, "can enact self-transcendence".

Wu Hsaing - definitely the MVP of the team from the last tournament- was now more determined to fight on for his country. To carry his country's flag as far as he can go in these prestigious halls. He knew his family was watching him, his father before him also a skilled player for the Blazing Dragons - Wu Htet, who played in Yangchenia's first championship and was there during the team's first international win. Yesui Erkhet shared the same sentiment - daughter of the legendary warlord Zaraa Erkhet (b.1918), her grandmother was still healthy into her 120s, a veteran of the Second Trial and architect of the Great Trial that saw the resurgence of her country after its occupation by the Bajanese Empire. Holding such an infamous name seemed to impose an expectation on her to excel.

Tsamchoe Thaye and Sasha Saizi stood to the side. Thaye's expression was neutral, as if he had done this numerous times before - whether it was in martial arts, track and field, and in this moment football. At almost 65 years old he was certainly by far the oldest of the team - but he was also remarkably fit and agile for his age. The former national champion for martial arts, Thaye maintained his fitness all the way into his senior years. Sasha Saizi, his former student stood beside, a smile on her face to be back again after their loss in the Baptism of Fire, contrasting with Thaye's expression. But everyone knew beneath that smile lay a spirit as fierce as Grandmaster Thaye himself.

---

Yangchenia Blazing Dragons
"In the flames of sport, our iron will is forged"

---

Yangchenia returns for World Cup 100 - Placed in Group 13

---

After their loss in the Baptism of Fire against the team of Choppyhausen in the Round of 64, the Blazing Dragons are set to compete again in the multiverse's most prestigious sporting tournament - the centennial World Cup. Hu Winwei, the team's coach, expressed his team's determination to fight on for the name of Yangchenia and invited people from the country to come watch the tournament live.

In the seeding, Yangchenia was placed within Group Bracket 13. While viewed as an unlucky number in Western tradition, for Yangchenia, it carried a sense of hope. 13 years old marked the person's completion of a single Yinwei Zodiac Cycle - viewed as a pivotal age for growth and self-reflection.
The first match of the World Cup will occur on the 26th of October.

Additionally, both SportsTV and the Royal News Network plan to broadcast all matches of the World Cup Qualifier for Group 13 in the country, not just the Blazing Dragon's matches.

---

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Player of the Day

Damdul Gyatso
(b. 28 December 1970)
Samdrup Jongkhar, Yangchenia

Damdul Gyatso is a Yangini football player and the main goalkeeper for the Blazing Dragons. Born in Samdrup Jongkhar in 1970, he was born to a poor family. His father was a textile worker for the Saichen Group - the nation's largest corporation during the time of the Second Bskyar Dar or Renaissance, while his mother roamed the streets of the nearby city of Lhamo as a prostitute. As such, for much of his childhood he was instead raised by the monks of the Tawdrup Monastery, where he studied Buddhism under the guidance of Panchen Lama Thubdzen Namgyal.

While living in the monastery he fell in love with football, playing games with the other children under the care of the Tawdrup Monks. He slowly honed his skills in the sport, and was accepted into the Blazing Dragons in 1990 at the age of 19. He initially played as a midfielder during his first years in the team, however he soon moved to goalkeeping after then coach Dao Xuanjing recognized his skill at blocking the ball.

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Images are AI-generated.

Yangchenia Blazing Dragons is a trademark owned by Yangchenia Sporting Commission and Saichen Group. All rights reserved.

[Katzeburg]

(OOC Note - The image for the KBC article has been generated using AI. For best viewing quality, please follow this link.)

The following is an excerpt from the first in a series of articles published by leading Katzeburgian gaming magazine Starter Life.

At the end of this coming year, the servers for the once-popular Katzeburgian MMORPG Lands of Eternia will be shutting off for good. Once the most played game in Katzeburg, the MMO has suffered an ever-reducing playcount in recent years as players moved on to other games or left the MMO space entirely. As a result, the game has slowly delved into unprofitability for its developer Mercer Software, leading to the developers board opting to sunset the game at the end of AK24. For those who have never heard of Lands of Eternia, which let's face it, is the majority of people under the age of 15 or from a very small subset of Esportiva in which the game saw some minor popularity, you may require a brief history lesson about the game itself in order to get a small understanding of just why such a game has lasted as long as it has, as well as why for some players left traversing the Island of Eternia it is such a hard thing to let go quietly into the night.

Lands of Eternia was the first major project by Mercer Software, a small group of developers based out of the small town of Skyberg in West Katzeburg and released on April 12, BK3. The game itself was groundbreaking for a number of reasons when it first released - the Katzeburgian gaming scene was still relatively small at the time so a MMO the size of Lands of Eternia was unheard of, as were many of the mechanics which made it so popular in the early years. The game was the first persistent world in Katzeburgian gaming, meaning whatever mark your character made on the island of Eternia, it would stay there forever. Initially a bit of a social experiment by the developers to see just what players would do with a little bit of freedom, this mechanic alone quickly caused the game to explore and grow a world and lore of its own, with player-led towns and cities sprouting up across the island and each of them giving way to their own stories, tales, and drama. This was something that the developers would fully lean into in the early years, encouraging and even working with dedicated player groups and guilds to enshrine player creativity into the lore of Eternia itself.

If you were to start your Lands of Eternia journey now, you'd end up arriving in the sprawling port town of Seashore Isle, but I'd imagine you'd be surprised to know that the town itself wasn't an original developer creation, but instead home to one of the historically largest guilds in the game - the Pirates of Seashore. The town became such a popular spot for players, even outside the POS guild, that the developers decided to work with guild leadership to make the town the perfect starter zone for newcomers to Eternia.

This collaborative nature between the developers and the players would stretch over the entire life of the game itself, which saw huge numbers of players pick up the game in the first five years of its life. At one point, there were more than 350,000 players across Eternia at any one point - huge numbers for a Katzeburg MMO and numbers which are yet to be replicated by any online game played in Katzeburg. With a persistent online world, a player-driven economy gave way to an ever-changing landscape alongside a world which was heavily focused on player-versus-player combat within reason and character progression which finely strode the line between balanced and hard-earned. In the early years, the developers were heavily involved in the game world and its progression, with one infamous moment in the game's beta seeing the lead developer, Richard Steiner, have his high-powered character assassinated due to a combination of a sloppy character reset after a server outage and a bug in the code which provided a first-level fire spell to have long-standing and devastating effects on anyone it hit. This of course, would become a key marker in the lore of the game itself, with the developers often opting to lean into the unique moments which came out of natural gameplay and sculpt a world which felt real but anyone could contribute to.

Released to critical acclaim and with a small subscription fee of two barins a month, Lands of Eternia would release three expansions over its first six years - each new expansion bringing a boost to the overall level cap, hundreds of new items and monsters to battle, and new lands to explore. The first of these - Darkness Rises - allowed players to traverse north of the Severnster River and into the previously-blocked off Eternia Badlands, while the second expansion - The Mines of Mount Stalmar - invited players to explore the massive forgotten underground city of Stalmar. It would be the third expansion - Edin Abyss - which would be the first sign of trouble for the MMO, with the crafting system undergoing a major review - significantly making items more difficult to craft due to an increase in resources needed. This quickly had flow on effects to the wider economy of the game, as players were totally unprepared for the increased demand on their supplies, leading to huge resource shortages across Eternia which eventually caused the downfall of the major guild the Crafting And Traders Union, itself a massive in-game event which saw the guild's headquarters raided and destroyed after guild guards walked off the job after not receiving payment from guild higher-ups.

But Lands of Eternia was still incredibly popular, with the game continuing to be a massive cultural part of Katzeburg amidst the Katzeburgian Revolution and the first years of the new nation of Katzeburg. Many will no doubt remember the BrautBox advertisements which starred Richard Steiner's Eternia character ordering a Brat to go mid-raid that littered all over TV between AK0 and AK4, while others will no doubt remember the infamous marketing campaign which allowed players to order a six-pack of Harmouth Gold by typing out a few commands in game - leading to numerous children getting heavily drunk off what they referred to as 'magic potions'.

But the game naturally wouldn't last forever, and as gaming continued to grow in popularity and technical advancement in the aftermath of the Katzeburgian Revolution, Lands of Eternia began to quickly feel dated. A graphical upgrade attempt with the game's sixth expansion - Eternia Reborn - failed to retain many players, with significant numbers leaving instead, adamant the charm of the game had now been lost to time. Many would carry on with Lands of Eternia, unwilling to move on from a game which had given them so many treasured memories and hours of entertainment - and player numbers would still be sustainable for years to come, often hovering around the 100,000 mark in the early AK10's. The game's final expansion - The Hall of the High Kaiser - would release in May of AK22 - by which point player numbers had continued to decline, owing both to a more fragmented gaming space but also the fact the average age of a Lands of Eternia player was now pushing well into their late 40's - a demographic commonly known to have very little time clicking things on a screen which isn't work related.

Mercer Software would try to revitalise the game in the final years, announcing the game as free-to-play in AK20 and even developing a 'retro' mode of Lands of Eternia which would simulate the game as it was around the first years of its life, but the game continued to peter out, leading to the decision earlier this month to sunset the game and end Lands of Eternia after 27 years.

Since this news was announced by Mercer Software, we here at Starter Life have been wracking our brains trying to figure out how best to pay tribute to a game which has meant so much to so many people across Katzeburg. Everyone in our offices here in Deerhaven have spent countless hours in the game, with our own editor-in-chief Hannah even having spent multiple years as a high-ranking guild leader in-game. To do just one article quickly rushing through the history of a game as complex and as beloved as Lands of Eternia just didn't feel right, so we decided to do something which we feel will truely serve as a way to say goodbye to a game which has brought joy to so many players over the years - and it requires us going all the way back to BK3.

The initial beta test was a relatively small one - as Mercer Software was only a small company at the time, they didn't have the resources or capacity to host numerous servers packed with players stress-testing every aspect of the game. So they instead opted to take to the internet and run a small-scale beta programme - inviting 25 players to join the beta test and test various elements of the game with their characters then crossing over into the final game once it went live. This would essentially allow those 25 players to become big names in the world right out of the gate, and it's fair to say from our research into the wider lore and history of the game - these 25 people are some of the most important names to know about when it comes to talking about Lands of Eternia and the impact it has left on those who played it.

So that's where we started - identifying and speaking to these 25 players to get their view not only on the beta of a beloved game, but their history and views about a game which - in the case of some of these players - has literally been life-changing.

Over the coming weeks we'll be sharing these stories in a series about Lands of Eternia, running us up to and alongside the eventual sunsetting of the game. We hope you'll take one last trip onto the Island of Eternia with us as we say goodbye.

[Tikariot]

SavadoX Games presents: World Cup 100 - West Pavola

Morannon, Tikariot - October 24

SavadoX Games have announced the release of the official video game for World Cup 100 - Pavola, in cooperation with Apex Systems and their brandnew console Apex NSS1!

Play any nation* and lead them through the gruelling qualifiers and then to glory! Enjoy immersive gameplay, spectacular graphics and unlock Ultimate Maggie mode, where nothing makes sense and everything is random!

*Jeruselem is not included in the game to ensure a family-friendly E rating.

OOC Disclaimers: 1) Image was AI generated. 2) Feel free to use this in RPs for the funsies

[Soviet Kem]

Soviet Kem For Away Teams

After releasing information about Soviet Kem, including how to get here, the climate, away accommodations, and the ticket system, we have now finalised the away team accommodations, they will be staying at the Hotel Vysota (Pictured Below).

[*]Image generated with the help of AI

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The players will train in the beautiful National Training Complex (this complex is shared by both teams), it is a short 5 minute walk from the Hotel Vysota, and is situated in the same park as the Soviet Kem Stadion National (Will be addressed later).

[*]Image generated with the help of AI

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The Soviet Kem Stadion National is a gargantuan 700,000 capacity stadium with the same architectural style of the National Training Complex, it is just across the park from the training complex. It is situated in Kem City, the largest city and capital of Soviet Kem, Soviet Kem Stadion National allows foreign fans to battle against the Sovet Kemrainan chants.

[*]Image generated with the help of AI

[United States of Nova Calania]

World Cup 100 Preview

Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - The most anticipated World Cup in recent years is about to start, and for a reason because it's marking a milestone. This is the 100th World Cup! This is the lonngest tournament in the multiverse and historic records of early copetitions are hard to find. So hard that The Holy Empire created a team of archaelogists to find any records and artefacts related to the World Cup. Will they find a shirt worn by Alan Belmore? The soccer ball used by whoever scored the winning goal of World Cup 1's final?

While some are looking in the past, Nova Calania better look in the present. Can Nova Calania, the actual champions of Anaia, qualify for the 2nd time in a row, being in a group with Zenic? One sure thing, we won't finish 1st and, if we're lucky enough to be in 2nd place, we'll have to play a playoff match against another team in 2nd place.

The Tapirs, ranked 48th, are in group 22 with Zenic, ranked 23rd. Bears Armed (103rd) will try to sneak in 2nd place. Other nations who have a shot at 2nd place are Moladea (160) and Bonusia (194). Bonusia had a strong run at the Baptism of Fire, losing in the quarterfinals against Snestar. Other nations competing in group 22 are: Porotia (276), Meris (307), Greater Deutsche (408) and The Lake Isle of Innisfree (UR).

Zenic

On matchday 1, Nova Calania will welcome Zenic on our soil. There will be a ceremony of the champions with the CAFA Cup being shown onto the field to show Zenic that we are the champions of Anaia and they are currently not the champions of Rushmore. Our history with Zenic dates back at World Cup of Hockey 50 which Zenic beat Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove 5–5 (3–1 SO) in the round of 16. The match will be played in the evening at the National Sports Complex in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. Weather is expected to be hot and maybe it could rain in the 2nd half. Please look at our roster info for a complete weather forecast! We will travel to Zenic on week 10 for the 2nd leg.

Moladea

Our journey will take us to Moladea on matchday 2. They are ranked 160th, which mean thay can have a shot at 2nd place. They're better known for their domestic leagues (mostly rugby, soccer and field hockey) than their national teams! On matchday 11, we will receive them at the National Sports Complex in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer.

Porotia

World Cup 100 means a ton of nation we never heard of and Porotia is one of them. We will receive them at Burnham Ground in West Burnham on week 3 and travel to this nation on matchday 12.

Bonusia

Bonusia is probably the most interesting nation in our group. A Baptism of Fire participant but they lost in the quarterfinals. They can make a push for the 2nd place if Margaret is on their side. Our match against them will be very interesting. We travel to Bonusia on week 4 and we'll receive them on matchday 13 at Stadion Azteca in Ostrwo Krolewski. The match will be played on wednesday may 16th 2029, on our national day and Anaia Day.

Bears Armed

The good old ursines are still around.They're the most ancient nation in our group. Nova Calania will receive them at Stadion Azteca in Ostrow Krolewski on week 6 and we'll travel to ursine land on matchday 15. If Nova Calania wants the 2nd place, we need to beat them, but it will be a hard task! They are the producers of the world famous Bison Brii Cheese and I can't wait to taste it on week 15!

The Lake Isle of Innisfree, Greater Deutsche and Meris

One unranked nation and 2 low ranked ones. We will play against them from weeks 7 to 9 and from matchdays 16 to 18. It's a must win against them, especially in the 2nd leg.

Paul-André Veilleux

[Zenic]

The World Cup of World Cups: Qualifiers for World Cup 100 commence

100 cycles of national team futbol: truly a momentous occasion that sees titans of the sport, hopeful contenders, and eager newcomers vying to win a truly special World Cup. Our Survivors of Zenic are a part of the 270 teams looking to join Tikariot, The Kytler Peninsulae, and Kwrpania in Rushmore's new hot spot, West Pavola, for this centennial event. Yes, you read that correctly: a total of 270 nations will participate in the World Cup Qualifiers this time around, equating to 30 groups with 9 nations each.

Zenic has been situated into Group 22. Their groupmates will be: the United States of Nova Calania, Bears Armed, The Lake Isle of Innisfree, Greater Deutsche, Meris, Moladea, Porotia, and Bonusia. Despite this unusual group size, we will be playing the tried and true double round robin system with these opponents in this order for the first half and then the same order but the opposite venue for the second half.

The top third of the group is occupied by ourselves (23rd in the world), Nova Calania (48), and Bears Armed (103). The Empire has high expectations and are looking to win their group outright to avoid the playoffs, which would be the less acceptable, but still acceptable, option for making the World Cup for the 5th straight cycle. Nova Calania are a frequent acquaintance through multiple sports, especially in Ice Hockey and Futbol. The two nations squared off recently in World Cup 99, with Zenic coming out 5-3 victors in Banija. Bears Armed make their return to the World Cup Qualifiers after last participating in World Cup 98's qualifiers.

The middle third of 22 consists of Moladea (160), Bonusia (194), and Porotia (276), a strong batch of newer nations that will be no pushovers. Moladea are a newer inbound nation from Esportiva that made the Round of 16 for the 86th Baptism of Fire with a chip on their shoulder after struggling in the Campionato Esportiva. Meanwhile, Bonusia is a new addition to futbol and our regional neighbors from Rushmore who made it to the Quarterfinals of the 87th Baptism of Fire. Interesting, this Rushmore matchup has the possibility of elevating into a true Rushmori Derby as both halves will end with a match between these two nations. Then, there is Porotia, another BoF 87 participant who also made it as far as the Round of 16.

Last but not least, the final third of Group 22 are Meris (307), Greater Deutsche (408), and The Lake Isle of Innisfree (UR). Meris and Greater Deutsche round out our BoF 87 survivors: Meris joining Porotia in a trip to the Round of 16 while Grande Deutsche suffering a winless group stage in their first tournament. Finally, we have The Lake Isle of Innisfree, the only unranked team in the group; confirming that Group 22 does not join the small, exclusive unit of groups with two unranked nations.

As the tournament has gotten closer, I've felt a sensation in the air that I've never felt before: expectation. Not hopeful expectation but actual expectation. The type you see top teams throughout sports experience such as the Frozen Survivors. The fact that the Survivors have finally hit that position in futbol is something I don't believe many of us had expected to see in our lifetimes but here we are. Everything has been leading up to this World Cup: from the surprise Copa Rushmori 45 title shortly after their return to the international stage all the way to 4 straight World Cup visits.

And with questions about how much longer this squad can stay together, this is the prime moment for Zenic to stun the futbol world for a second time by not only making the World Cup again but winning their first ever World Cup.

-- Koralia Dev

Koralia Dev is one of our newest and most enthusiastic writers at The Leinz Herald. A graduate from the prestigious New Citium University, Koralia graduated with her Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and has been working for the Herald covering foreign and international sporting events. We are excited to have her cover the Empire of Zenic’s return to sporting events, both domestic and international.

[Atymnius]

---

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SHOPPING IN DĒMOS

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The shops of Dēmos are as antiquated as they can be: the nation has just come out of the open internationally. There are the odd spruce and wooden barnyards selling chicken eggs and fresh dairy milk, but with the advent of the World Cup, the city-center is modernizing and technology has been temporarily borrowed from the Cup tournament organizers! To this the Imperium reserved no comment. However, some have found their home in the fashion of beyond.

---

Do some team-building.

The players perplexed, had to fight against their own conditioning in the Yellow-Blue Lock of times past.

Team-building! But coach—

No excuses.

Yay! It’s about time I played with my teachers! Tý murmured.

Tý, excited, got up and said,

Hmh, it comes to my attention that we need to decide on a place.

How about the colosseum!

Nah, what about the Olympian Museum! Might be nice—

And that place is this!

Looking in his sports bag, a skirt with flowers patterned on their rims was shown, before remarking:

Let’s go shopping!

The team, looked at themselves before they were in the very situation itself.

“A sunny noon today wouldn’t you say Mike! Yes indeed, the streets are decorated with banners from the World Cup with a new commercial centre opening up in the very heart of Dēmos.”

And the murmurs were very true. Stunned, the team looked at opulent glass and marble palisades!

”Mommy I want that one!”

”No, you’ll get it later dear—“

Walking, the team were shocked.

“Bet now on the Hanalia vs Dēmos friendly match! ALL HAIL THE SUPREME DEITY!”

Immediately noticing the fruit juice section, the Spanish Salamander had disappeared while Wyetti was already in the queue for DēmBucks.

WHAT!? Hey you!—

Before anything else, tagging on his ear, Tý took, Thedaisos as well as Valentinos and Wyetti to the DēmZara shop.

Woah!

Immediately met with lights, they thought were otherwordly and yet chandeliers did they merely seem, they were immediately welcomed by enthusiastic supporters…

Hey! Hey! Come in—

Pushing the four in, Tý was in the know:

He was already posturing himself with a polyester black jacket with a grey cloth-sweater.

Say cheese!

Pic—taking the picture, one would think he was a celebrity of the highest caliber: a modern Giorgio Armani.

Flustered, Thedaisos tried and snorted at the local perfume

This is why I don’t drink this shit…

My guy, you don’t drink it!

Putting it on himself, Valentinos immediately posed for the cameras as fans had essentially poured in at that point!

Waah!! Look, so handsome! VALL-ENNN-TINNŃOS!

Immediately taking the perfume, Thedaisos posed himself while, out of warrant, putting on white and orange garments, suiting his features.

Waah!

The women fell down in unison and while Thedaisos posed with one particularly hot Brazilian, him and Valentinos took some opera photos. One was Thedaisos’ woman standing on his rammed muscles, while the other was Valentinos with a silhouetted rainbow-confetti-mashup with another fan. Valentinos stood up on Thedaisos’ shoulders while Thedaisos at one point was no where to be seen, giving the girl his number!

Sighing, Wyetti pulled the conserved yet still surreal, pro-shot, a GS 300X super camera in front of board canvasses.

Be professional! Pls—

Eventually taking one together, Thedaisos and crew led a group photo. It was a wonderful outing.

Surprised, even himself at his fun, Valentinos would ask Whyatou how his time was, but all was met with frown eyes.

He dug into too much Shakespeare!

[Cassadaigua]

Lily’s Space,
a blog by Lily McCartney- forward

The world is abuzz for the 100th edition of the World Cup, a number that in itself is monumental, but a number that is an achievement of enormous measures. There have been so many people and sporting organizations that have been responsible for reaching that number, and we should not take it for granted what it took to get there. At one point, there was a day, where a bunch of sport-loving nations got together, and thought, “do you think this will work?” Then, once deciding that they would give it a shot, they had to decide on the rules package that would be installed onto the game. After all, every nation that took part had its own soccer league, and with that, likely had varying nuances about their own league, so a uniform set of rules was not something that was a given. Then would come decisions about hosting, formats, scoring and many other things. Ultimately, it would be the nation of Crosshill winning that first World Cup. The competition was a success, but who, after that competition was finished ever thought that one hundred editions would ever be a reality? Not even the people that make up The Holy Empire could have dreamt that to be possible. Think about how many years have gone by. For some, it could seem like as many as four hundred, and for others, a much small number, but no matter who’s counting, we have now reached that magical point. One hundred World Cups.

As Cassadagans, we have not only been fortunate to win the World Cup twice, we won World Cup 50, another milestone number. At that point, the World Cup Committee was firmly established, and the Constitution was long since the trusted document in which the competition goes by. There have been amendments, rulings for uncommon situations that would arise, and even rankings changes, but when World Cup 50 was played, few would have questioned that we would reach one hundred. Sure, no one knew who would be playing in it, but the demand for the World Cup was always going to be around, and will be around for as long as our multiverse exists.

Cassadaigua’s participation in the World Cup began in World Cup 43, but has not been continuous. There have been a few down periods, with the nation’s last committed World Cup being the 96th edition before this one. This World Cup 100 team is not like even that team. Heck, there are some players from that team who have voiced their displeasure for not being included on this roster, as after all, they are still actively playing today. You can feel for their plight, and certainly, I would not be here if we had the best players that the nation has to offer out there on the pitch for us. The Queen’s announcement was very clear, the nation is not returning to this competition with aspirations of qualifying for the actual World Cup, building up rank, and to eventually try and win the Cup one year. Cassadaigua’s time for that has come and gone, and by doing what she has done, the message is clear that the nation is not making a full time return. We’re here to celebrate World Cup 50 as an individual nation but also the achievement of the World Cup in general to attain this milestone.

Our roster has been made up of players who all can claim some sort of connection to one player from the World Cup 50. Personally, I was hand picked by Rachel Schanke, Jessica’s granddaughter, to be on this team. Due to my position of being a forward, I also inherit the role of team blogger, which is also an honor. Now, there is some that may think this means our roster is a bunch of scrubs, and that is not true. Emily Carlson is an excellent defensive midfielder, and I know how to put the ball in the back of the net as a member of Concord Heights Suburban. Most people have a story that qualifies them enough to be playing professional soccer at this type of level. Others, maybe not, but that’s just fine.

For Cassadaigua, this is a celebration. We’d like to win, but we’re not going to get bent out shape over it. Every home game will be a party, win, lose or draw. Road games? Well, maybe less of that, but we hope you come out. We’ll be having meet and greets with our fans at all road games at our team hotel, and there will be special guests every time out.

[Bostopia]

A grandfather is sitting on his granddaughter's bed in what is an impeccably decorated bedroom in typical Bostopian fashion, filled with all the toys a child could want and colourful wall stickers showing everything from smiling dolls to cute kittens. Near the head of the bed on the wall is a poster of The Duke stood infront of rainbows and fluffy clouds whilst holding a lollypop, displaying a huge smile on his face. There's evidently a slogan on the poster but it's just out of shot so the text can't be read, but it's fairly obvious one of the words is 'Bostopia'. The grandfather, a kindly looking elderly man in his early 70s, is just finishing off reading a bedtime story. 'And that, as they say, is that' he says aloud, before kissing his granddaughter on the forehead and standing up to leave. 'Granddad, do you know where bunnykins is?' The granddaughter asks, full of worry, adding 'I can't sleep without him.' 'He's down here!' a female voice calls from downstairs, with the scene changing to bunnykins sitting on the kitchen countertop next to an open book showing a recipe for Bostopian Big Soup. Back in the bedroom, Granddad smiles down at his granddaughter and reassures her, telling her 'I'd best go and get fluffykins for you then.' Granddad walks out of the room, but, alas, someone's left a small ball at the top of the stairs, which is zoomed in on so the words 'MADE IN MERTAGNE' Granddad steps on the small ball and loses his balance, taking a nasty tumble down the stairs.

'Clive! No!' the disembodied voice shouts again, but this time in much distress.

The scene fades to black and a somber sounding voiceover begins speaking. 'This could have been prevented with the banning of soft toys at bedtime.' A line of ghostly grandparents slowly fade into the screen. 'All these grandparents have been lost due to the demands of their grandchildren to have a soft toy at bedtime. Only you, THE DUKE, can stop this plight. Your Ducal Highness, will you stand with us? Will you stand with GASTAB?'

As the voiceover says this, the ghostly grandparents stretch their arms out toward the screen as the logo of GASTAB is now shown. 'GASTAB - GRANDPARENTS AGAINST SOFT TOYS AT BEDTIME'

[Audioslavia]

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|   \ |     | |    |    /     |     |     |     |   \
|   / |     | |    |    \     |     |     |     |    \
|--   |     | |    |      --  |--|  |---| |---| |     |
|   \ |     | |    |        \ |     |     |     |    /
|    | \   /  |    |         ||     |     |     |   /
|   /   \ /   |    |        / |     |     |     |  /
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Meet The Champions
You Might Think We’re Bored Of Telling You All That Audioslavia Are World Champions, But This Article Says Otherwise

There are a great many teams in the multiverse that refer to themselves as Champion

There are a handful of Sports Regions*, of which Rushmore is the oldest. Just before the start of the Baptism of Fire, perennial under-achievers Oberour Ar Moro scored a popular win over Tikariot - avenging a defeat to the very same opposition last cycle - and thus were crowned champions of the 49th Copa Rushmori

Now elder statesmen of international football, bizarrely enough, Esportiva had crowned their own regional champion a few weeks prior, with Kanzlia overcoming the beloved Paradystopia on penalties in the final of the 41st Campeonato Esportiva. Of the great many Esportivan banners being carried into World Cup 100 qualifying, Kanzlia hold Esportiva’s highest.

Combustible finalphobic taqilantes Farfadillis are another champion. A spiritual cousin of Audioslavians for their temperament if not their preferred position on a football field, the Farves are champions of Arrosia, the newest of the multiverse’s sporting regions, having defeated Shango Fogoan rival Banija in the final of the fifth Arrosian Regional Cup. Banija can perhaps console themselves with the idea that, having won the 70th and last* AOCAF Cup, they can call themselves the final*** and perennial champions of the former sporting region of Atlantian Oceania

If you’re counting Banija as a reigning champion, you can count Biyambi too. Crowned champions of Mandalanusa after winning the CMFA Cup before World Cup 99, the regional championship of a Mandalanusa region that had seen declining numbers in recent years was not continued for cycle 100. Biyambi may find themselves Forever Champions too.

Audioslavia’s own region, Anaia, crowned The United States of Nova Calania as its champion. The side came from the middle of the regional rankings to perform the ritual Disappointing Of The Ko-orenites in the final of the CAFA Cup.

Ko-oren are one of those teams that have a compulsion to lose regional finals. 0-4 in CAFA Cup finals, and 1-5 in regional finals all together, the Ko-orenites are golden-fingered luck-merchants compared to Drawkland, whose record at the business end of the International Associations Championships fell to 1-6 thanks to defeat to Aphrilia, who as champions of the regional cup for nations not in a major sports region, can count themselves as champions of the largest and most fiercely contested “regional” tournament we have.

Under the umbrella of the WCC, three sides can call themselves champion. Anewkansas are champions of the Cup of Harmony, Est. 2003, a tournament for teams that failed to make it to the World Cup. Six of the last twelve editions have been won by a former World Cup winner, with Anewkansas not yet among this number.

The Cup of Harmony used to be by far and away the second most important competition in international football. Even without the increasing importance of regional tournaments, that might not be true this time out. The Baptism of Fire tournament, Est. 2004, pits World Cup newcomers against each other. Starting out in 2004 as an eight-team tournament, the edition before World Cup 55 contained a whopping 64 teams - the largest field on record up until this cycle, where 112 teams… 112!… participated in a gigantic tournament. When the dust settled, Shin-Zetsubo had come out as victors of a Baptism of Fire tournament larger than all but two of the World Cups held between editions 1 and 47. This Baptism of Fire tournament is not only as lucrative as the Cup of Harmony, winning it might well be on a par with winning any pre-modern era World Cup.

There are 5 (or 7 if you’d like to count Banija and Biyambi) regional champions and three WCC champions. Last but not least are the champions of the World Cup, our very own Audioslavia.

We’d been trying to tell everyone that the last few cycles had been pretty harsh on The Bulls of Audioslavia, but take a step back and look at the entirety of the 90s and it feels like a lie. We started ranked 5th in the world, we finished it ranked 6th. We won the Cup of Harmony in cycle 91 and the CAFA Cup in cycle 92. A triple crown in what is supposedly your national team’s most fallow period is not bad going at all. In truth, you’d be hard pressed to find a team that has won more silverware than the Bulls in the last dozen years. Audioslavia’s three world cups, four regional titles and a Cup of Harmony beats super-teams like Banija (3, 3, 0) and Eura (2, 3, 1) over that 12-year period. In these success stakes, the Bulls are beaten out only by Vilita (4, 3, 0), and even then only if you count the three AOCAF Cups won by the combined team of Vilita & Turori.

In Group 18, the Bulls aren’t the only team with silverware to their name. New Montreal States - new regionmates but auld enemies of the Bulls, won the Cup of Harmony just the other side of our arbitrary twelve-year cutoff, while equally familiar foes Hapilopper have a Baptism of Fire trophy to their name.

Looking beyond the official WCC and Regional trophies, World Cup 100 marks a rare occasion: There will be two Unofficial World Championship belts in play for the second time since World Cup 87. Kimi-Suomi hold the oldest piece of the belt - the purple title that dates back right to Ariddia’s first game of World Cup 1, while the returning Free Republics bring back what’s referred to as the ‘2016 Interim’ championship. Only a last minute entry problem stopped a third chunk of the title entering the fray, with Brookstation and their 2020 Interim championship unfortunately being denied entry to qualifiers due to existencial infringements.

Cycle 100’s 12 ‘Champs’ are spread evenly throughout the groups, with the exception of Group 10 which features a showdown of Arrosian and Esportivan champions in Farfadillis and Kanzlia. “Interesting” we hear you say. “I wonder what the maximum is”. You mean, what’s the most amount of championships that have ever appeared in a qualifying group? The answer, strangely enough, involves Audioslavia. World Cup 92, Qualifying Group 8, Graintfjall went in not only as World Champions, but Copa Rushmori holders and with a UWC title around their collective waists. They would finish second in the group, yet still qualify, while the Bulls, reigning CAFA Cup champions at the time, would finish third and lose in the qualifiers. That accounts for four trophies. A fifth, a Baptism of Fire trophy held at the time by Loyo, who finished down in 7th.

WC92 Group 8’s three unique title holders is a joint record, alongside WC95 Group 7, won by Rushmori champions Cabo Azure over Anaian champions Huayramarca, who would fall in the playoffs, and third place Poafmersia, then champions of the Independent Associations Championship. A shout out too to World Cup 89 Group 13 which pit world champions Turori against BoF holders Pyazhnaya and a Sargossa team that held the Copa Rushmori title. The most unlikely collection of stars goes to World Cup 21 Group 10, where of just six teams, three entered Matchday 1 holding some kind of title. Vilita the world cup holders, Liamist States the Baptism of Fire champions, and a Lovisa team that had gone into qualifying holding a piece of the Unofficial World Championship.

Bullsfeed will return with even more un-asked for World Cup facts throughout the qualifying campaign.

To subscribe to Bullsfeed, try diving head-first out of your window to receive our general quality of journalism directly into your frontal lobe.

*that is, one of the handful of regions wherein the nations are more famous for their sporting prowess than their ability to raid, troll or bore other nations, as nations more into R/D, General or WA activities may prefer
**At Time of Writing. If something as irrelevant as The Eagles Cup can be revived successfully years after the fact, the AOCAF Cup certainly can.
***See above

[Shell Shock Troop Clan]

(OOC: Source for the terrible pun.)

La Prensa Libre

In what is being called "only slightly ominous," Shell Shock Troop Clan manager Guillermo Sandoval has preemptively disclaimed responsibility for "whatever happens in Krytenia." "Or anywhere else in Group 30, for that matter, but especially Krytenia," he disclaimed.

"Look, there are a lot of tragic and melodramatic things that can happen in the world of football, and over a couple centuries or whatever, lots of them will," said Sandoval. "Things even worse than finally making a final after countless attempts, only to be stymied by an insufferable dynasty, although that's gotta be pretty annoying too. Whatever the heck went down with Sorthern Northland, for one thing. As I'm sure Krytenia could tell us. I'm just putting it out there that it isn't our fault, this time."

While admitting that Shell Shock Troop Clan could not measure up to its predecessors in terms of "cruelly oppressing its own citizens, ineptly waging war, being good at football, or enforcing an unintellectual religious orthodoxy," Sandoval emphasized that our homeland is among the world's luminaries in terms of "people being free enough to cause brand new problems for themselves." "I'm confident that overexcited fans getting drunk and making fools of themselves will cause a respectable level of emergency room visits and property damage," he predicted. "We will have quite enough news without taking credit for catastrophic rifts in the space-time continuum."

The Aces, fifth seeds in the group, will be fielding the same squad that took part in World Cup 50, 200 years ago by Krytenian local reckoning. "It can be wistful sometimes, feeling like I'd never have the opportunity to play against people from legendary clubs like Petardos S/A or Radyukevich CSC," admitted Uriel Carrión. "It just goes to show you that we should never give up hope, because nothing is truly impossible in the world of football. Although some things are vanishingly unlikely, like us qualifying, or Krytenia surviving whatever they're going through like a normal country."

Sandoval also announced that midfielder Nacho Pocaterra would be the first choice for national team captain, and politely asked the international community to stop snickering at his name. "It's a perfectly cromulent diminutive of the given name 'Ignacio,'" Sandoval explained. "Just because the cognate isn't a frequent personal name in English doesn't mean it's ridiculous. In your language, it's just a remix of 'Ignition.' Hot and fresh, out the kitchen. Like nachos."

[Kelssek]

POLITICS
Ex-libertarian favoured to win leadership of beleagured United Communists
"Smash the state has always been my watchword" says Parnell Bowen, deflecting skepticism over ideological commitment

Parnell Bowen is set to become the United Communist Party’s new leader as the party which has governed Kelssek for 17 of the last 25 years hopes to regain relevance following a tough election defeat and a splintering of the party that has seen it fail to capitalize on an Alliance for Liberty (AfL) government that has cratered its own support just two years into its mandate.

The clear front-runner in the leadership vote, Bowen seems likely to take the UCP in a more ideological direction. It’s an unexpected turn for a former AfL MP once best-known for being a student union libertarian, but Bowen has managed to convince a party on its heels that he genuinely thinks communism is the ideal way to abolish the state, say UCP insiders.

On the eve of the vote among party delegates and registered members, Bowen held an online event in which members of the UCP youth wing were invited to quiz the candidate on his policy stances and commitment to a classless society with popular ownership of the means of production. Bowen spoke at length on the ability to “rationally direct the whole economy through advanced AI running on decentralized blockchains that will serve every need of the people without government.” He argued this would soon be able to predict every need and direct the most efficient distribution of resources and everyday consumer goods.

In a sign that Bowen’s win is not a foregone conclusion, however, the event was disrupted by several disgruntled members who began typing the word “cryptofetishism” repeatedly in the live text chat. Many were also suspicious of the authenticity of the candidate’s political beliefs, with some expressing dissatisfaction with his answers to questions about dialectical materialism, his stance on the Fourth International, and constantly referring to Ariddia as an example of his ideal society.

Bowen’s closest challenger, former Minister for Transport Aemily Wallsh, today doubled down on the idea of needing to present a credible alternative government, as she appeared on a wildly popular podcast for hockey card collectors to promise new investment tax credits and to completely ban everyone under age 15 from using the internet.

But many think this is a major misstep that sounds “too normal for average voters”, and has only further opened up space for Bowen to paint himself as the leader who is, in a fashion, most in touch with the party’s revolutionary roots, says another former UCP cabinet minister who has retired from politics.

“In a demoralized party where a lot of the politically ambitious people have left and you just have the true believers, someone who can speak to why these people joined the party in the first place can have surprising resonance,” former UCP cabinet minister Siobhan MacKinnon said. MacKinnon retired from politics after the fallout of the party’s catastrophic post-election leadership review.

After a quarter-century as bascially a leftist policy wonk sewed to a blue-collar shop steward in some freakish mad scientist experiment, the fusion came apart along with the party’s last election campaign and the subsequent squabbles that led to mass defections and left the UCP hanging on to official party status only because of its party-list MPs.

Holding off a realignment in Kelssek’s party system could be a tall order, however. Polls currently show the upstart party Labour United tied with the governing AfL for the lead, with centre-left splinter Republican Socialist Front ahead of the UCP in voting intentions. The Awake! Party, often considered extreme-right, has also been trying to appeal to some of the UCP’s more rural voting base with a barrage of online advertising that falsely claims other parties are planning to ban tractors to protect a rare species of gay immigrant lizards.

[Chromatika]

World Cup 100 Qualifying - Matchdays 1 & 2 vs. (54) Abanhfleft @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Capital District (Cap. 144,000) & @ (211) Atymnius
Starting XI: Sourtois; Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Saburo; Fillar, G. - Mesic-Mizayaki - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov (C) - Howard-Dawes.
Reserves: GK Jill Swanson, GK Jessika Aniston, DCR Paisley Paterson, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, DCL Cylie Nodis, DC Samantha Han Cunningham, WBR Jacoliene Hauptmeijer, WBL Nemes Mátyás, WBL Nemes Mátyás, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, CDM Cassandra Van Der Borght, AP Maddie Prenn, AM Þyrill Bjarnhéðinsson, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste, CF Harriet Baïe-Verte, AF Adélaïde Bittencourt
Preview: Taking on the second seeds at home on the first Matchday won't be easy, but they will still be favored and the home crowd will be very, very loud. A road game at Atymnius could be a trap game, but this team should be locked in. The journey begins.

Epsilon Omicron Delta

Part 1

Justicar Alreath Dustmeadow double-checked the monitor affixed to her wrist for the third time. Stationed in a clearing in the eastern edge of the city that would become the new city of Eyrods in the eastern half of Myana Island, the Yesopalithan Paladin could hardly believe the readings coming from the device. Attuned to both temporal, spatial, and magical anomalies that often plagued sites of Abyssal Invasions years after their occurrence, the Justicar had expected to see the occasional blips of residual abyssal or necromantic energy; instead, what she was seeing was a massive spike in spatial anomalies, along with some temporal waves and a surge of an unknown power that the device was struggling to pinpoint.

She called in to Headquarters in Myana, and was given the order to investigate with the understanding that backup was on the way - she was not to engage whatever the cause was unless she was in immediate danger. So, she put up her hood and started to head toward the epicenter of this new spike.

She had barely walked half a mile before she came to the conclusion that something was very, very wrong. She had made the same perimeter a hundred times in the last month, but something was clearly different. It was as if the ground and surroundings themselves were fundamentally struggling to... just exist in the space that they were in. One second, the ground looked like it was fine, and the next, it looked like it was starting to... transition into a different place. It would recover within a few moments, but these instances were tearing up the landscape around her more and more. It wasn't life threatening yet, but it didn't take a scientist to show that things were starting to deteriorate bit by bit.

Looking at her communications system, it became very clear to the Justicar that by the time that backup arrived, it would simply be too late. She lengthened her stride, and using her holy focus, breathed a magical word to Zaiden, Yesopalitha's patron deity. Emboldened by the prolonged haste spell that she cast on herself, she started to run at an unnatural speed toward the direction of the epicenter of what was happening.

It was then that she found it - a mirage of an image that simply didn't belong in the middle of the eastern half of Myana Island. It hung there, serene and peaceful, a hazy representation of an outcropping below a scenic ravine that had no place being in the middle of modern Chromatika. This image looked unbothered by the sheer turbulence around it, as if it could care less about the chaos around it. It was this stillness that called Justicar Dustmeadow toward the image, and she, as if possessed, touched it with a gauntleted hand.

Instantaneously, she was on the other side. Things were very beautiful here - an origin-less sun was shining, there was a breeze in the air, and there was an old worn down shack that dominated the view. Instinctively, she knew that this was where she would be able to find the answer.

Abandoning all stealth - knowing that there was simply not enough time - she dashed to the shack and barged inside.

What she found would haunt the rest of her life forever.

An otherworldly machine - a thing of metal but not of any type that was known, a device that was presenting a malevolent, strange, visually appalling glow - was in the center. There were ten people around the machine, staring at it as if they were mesmerized. None of them had even looked up at Justicar Dustmeadow's intrusion, continuing their work without stopping at all. There wasn't a single sound coming from them except for the movement of tools, the typing of keys, and the ever-present humming of the machine itself.

It was starting to truly hum at a higher decibel, as if it was charging up to something. Why was it that this place existed? What had made its effects be felt in Chromatika? Why was it happening now, of all times? These were all very valid questions to be asked, but there was simply no time. All of her training and the divine connection she had with the patron deity of Yesopalitha screamed that this device was the cause of the disturbance.

Breathing a prayer, the Justicar raised her mace and strode forward toward the machine with all the intent to destroy it completely.

She had barely taken two steps toward it when a wall of force blocked her way. Try as she might, she couldn't break through.

What hit her next was a voice - not audible, not in a language that she understood, but imprinted within her brain as if she had no choice but to acknowledge.

[Ah... The unintended consequence. If we promise that we had had no designs of hurting your place of origin, but that it was merely a side effect during a greater work, would that make you feel any better? Do not struggle - it is not your place to comprehend the greater plan of a work that has been going on for countless millennia. Consider it an honor that you were aware of the workings on at all before its completion, and that your sacrifice - as well as the sacrifice of your very place of origin - will be considered a worthwhile one for the glory of the great work.]

It was maddening, and the resolve in the Justicar's soul burned. She breathed a desperate prayer to Zaiden, and the Yesopalithan god answered. His presence reaching through to the very place that the Justicar was at, she cast misty step to arrive at the base of the machine. Knowing that she only had mere moments before things would be too late, she brought her mace down to the central core of the machine.

In an instant, Justicar Alreath Dustmeadow's body exploded into a million pieces, made undone by the very nature of the energy that was encased within the machine. With her dying blow, she - with the power of a Yesopalithan god behind her - had managed to breach the core. The resulting explosion was enormous, and the consequences were beyond anything that the Justicar had imagined.

The pocket dimension containing the Reality Machine exploded outward. Having been warned by the Justicar, the Yesopalithans on Chromatika tried their hardest to contain the explosion's impact on Chromatika, but it was too intense.

One minute, Chromatika was where it was in Anaia.

The next, it was gone. Blipped. Phased a half degree on the reality axis.

Leaving a very turbulent, uncertain future.

[Banija]

OOC Note to hosts and other readers: The following is a Map of Banija, Abahamba, and the Busoga Islands. Most of the credit goes to Tumbra. All three are ICly firmly independent countries, with historic ties to Banija- OOCly, all three of them are ran by Banija. Abahamba will be a large focus of this tournament for me, but as they are not in this tournament(for IC reasons that'll come out in due time), the RPing will be done mostly via Busoga and Banija, and whatever other collaborators I have on this project.

Banijan Foreign Ministry Country Guide- Abahamba


OOC: All credit to Osarius for designing the flag. Thank you so much!

Abahamba. A country that is now Banija's northern neighbor, after the accession of Lugave into Banija. A strongly independent country that has been so for hundreds of years, it has never been colonized by outside forces. Not by Banija, not by Lugave, not by Quebec- despite the former two, at least, trying their best to make it happen. Like Banija, Abahamba is an independent country, with its oldest city, a northern port city called Lukasa, being its cultural, political, and economic center. It is, like Banija, a nation of Bantu(read: sub-saharan Africans) people, but unlike Banija, it is not a nation blessed with abundant resources that make it an economic power.

The country's biggest exports are mostly food, particularly fruit, and most of the country is vegetarian. It is one of, if not the most, poverty stricken countries in Arrosia- with a HDI number of 0.45, and a GDP per capita of under $1,000 NSDs, it is a country where the vast majority of people live in poverty. Its government is not particularly ideological, although it is not known for stable governance. Constitutionally, it is ruled by King Zotsara III, and there is an elected Parliament, as well. Most of the power, nominally, rests in the hands of the monarchy, and the Parliament is part-time- although the cabinet, led by a Prime Minister, is a full-time body that makes a lot of decision making.

On a practical basis, however, ultimate political power rests in the military. The country's generals and military leadership often intervenes in the country's political scene to take charge, and while they've never been at the front, many times Parliament and cabinet, and then even the King on occasion, are overruled by the military if there is a serious area of disagreement. It is a country where the concept of civilian control of the military never really took hold.

History

In terms of the near-ish history, we'll start around a quarter of a Millenium ago, and then go from there. Abahamba largely existed as a unified entity, but in name only. Realistically, various tribes ruled over their own parts of the country, a unified military didn't even exist, and a national government kind of existed for diplomatic purposes only. With empire building happening all around them, however, from Banija to Quebec to the Teus and beyond, they knew that if they wanted to avoid getting conquered, they needed to actually legitimately unify. That's when Admiral Azaly took power, creating a tribal council, ensuring the elders swore allegiance to him, and kept him in charge.

There was a succession of military leaders for about 100 or so years, until about 150 or so years ago- next big change was Banijan independence. When that was achieved, and Banija officially re-established itself as a moderately theocratic state, there was what was dubbed 'the Banijan migration'. In large numbers, largely secular and wealthy Banijans moved to Abahamba, largely in and around Lukasa, and built strong and solid lives for themselves. Even today, ethnic Banijans make up just about 15% of the Abahamba population. However, an economic crash in the 1910s really stopped the migration, and caused Abahamba to go into a period of isolation. No true civil war, but strong ethnic tensions, mostly put down by an increasingly repressive military government.

About 40 years later, there was a revolution against the Abahamba political class at the time. They felt as if the country's military leadership was a driver of their poverty, and military leaders were overthrown. Generals killed, soldiers defecting, a strong chance of civil war- until the country's neighbors, prinicipally Banija, stepped in and allowed the country to go towards civilian governance. Local constitutional assemblies designed a constitutional monarchy, with a Monarch picked by the elders of the various tribes. They wanted to integrate their country into the regional and global landscape, so looked to the near abroad for a King- Banija. They picked the fourth son of the Banijan Kabaka at the time, Odon, and picked him to be the first King of Abahamba.

Odon was King for 25 years. And Abahamba was a strong, Westminster-style parliamentary democracy for that period. And Odon had a prolific amount of children- 7 sons, and 11 daughters. But when his oldest son, Zotsara I, came into power, things started to slide. He took more power for himself, and moved against his own siblings and their families- with many people disappearing, as he viewed his siblings and their children as potential rivals. He paired up with the military to start his own murdering sprees, and he was a highly unpopular King. When he died, his own son, Zotsara II, did the exact same thing.

It brings us to the present day, where Zotsara III, who is the grandson of Zotsara II, largely rules alongside the military, with the Parliament increasingly sidelined.

Royal Family


OOC Note: Flag of the Royal Family. All thanks to Bonusia who designed this for my use!

Zotsara III is the fifth King of Abahamba, after Odon, Zotsara I, Zotsara II, Kanja, and now Zotsara III. They are all part of the House of Kawesi, which is a branch of the House of Katende- the Banijan Royal Family. With a long tradition of Kings not trusting their brothers, and Salic Law, Kings in this country have tended to have a lot of children- who go on murdering each other. Zotsara III, himself, was the fifth son of Kanja- his first four sons all ended up dead, in mysterious circumstances. It's a royal family where, instead of the stability of the law, might is right is the guiding principle- and the military often puts themselves as the kingmakers between warring siblings.

Zotsara III, when he came to power 15 years ago, wanted to put an end to the bloodletting that ruled this royal family. He saw having a multitude as a threat to the stability of the country, which had proven so true within his own family. Ergo, after his son, Thuku, was born, he decided to stop having kids entirely. Well, legitimate children, at least- he has concubines, but his marriage with his wife, Queen Sarah, is said to be a 'sterile' marriage. Risky business, of course- but Thuku, at 26 years old, is a highly popular Crown Prince. Preparing to get married, he's a royal who's seen by a reformer. No murderous history like his forefathers, much less in bed with the military, and seen by many advocates as a potential reformer.

Thuku is also a professional athlete, being a soccer player in the country. Now, the only thing, with Zotsara III basically intentionally supressing the family's growth, his exclusion of the descendants of the rivals of his father, and the concept of Agnatic primogeniture/Salic Law within the country's succession laws, are that there are only two men in the country in the line of succession- his son, Thuku, who is 26 years old, and his nephew, Iwe, who is 20 years old. Who is third in line? Remember the origin of this royal family? That's right- the line of succession loops back to Kabaka Sekakama, the 7 year old boy King of Banija.

Demographics

Total population of the country is 14 million.

Racially, the country is over 99% Bantu. But ethnically, it is divided 5 ways.

41%- Hambese.
24%- Botons.
15%- Banijans.
13%- Relogis.
5.7%- Kiku.

The lines between the ethnic groups have blurred between the years, and they are largely self-reporting- but the census only allows people to pick one- they typically pick the group that their father picked. While there is no large-scale racial discrimination, the only real thing is that, informally, Banijans generally are not promoted to the rank of general, or equivalent, in the military. Banijans are also, by far, the wealthiest demographic in the country, having an extremely high percentage of the country's businesses and wealth.

Religiously, the country is split almost perfectly three ways. First, is Puritan Mormonism, which is Banijan Mormonism. 35% of the country officially belongs to the church. 30% of the country is considered Evangelical Protestant. And 30% of the country is considered to be part of indigenous religions. 5%, of course, other.

As for language, Olusanke(Banija's majority langugae) is the country's most widely spoken first language. Hambese is the largest local indigenous language, with english also being a popular second language.

In terms of education, 61% of the country has completed secondary school, and only 12% of the country has a bachelor's degree or higher.

Political system (Military relationship)

It was a system that was designed to be a constitutional monarchy, centered on the elected members of Parliament and their Prime Minister- but that never really happened. As the House of Kawesi turned on each other in increasingly violent ways, the military was able to gain more and more control of the political system. Nowadays, what used to be a multi-party democracy has been degraded over time, to the point where the parties don't really exist in any independent form anymore.

The country's dominant political party is the Vanguard for Prosperity, which has been in power for the last 32 years. However, like we said, the parties aren't really super relevant these days. While the constitution requires a civilian prime minister, in practice, the Prime Minister is just a tool of the Generals. Various prominent cabinet posts are always appointed from the military, either Generals or retired generals. The Defense Minister, Foreign Minister, Finance Minister, are all appointed from the military ranks, in conjunction with the King.

The King is the head of state, and power flows from him, in conjunction with the military. The Parliament is part-time these days- they mostly rubber stamp everything that comes from the top. So in reality, there are four really strong political players in the country. One, of course, is the King- Zotsara III. The others, are General Kato(Finance Minister), General Jjumba(Defense Minister), and Admiral Bitata(Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff). Those are the guys with really independent power bases, and who are the movers and groovers of the country.

Sport within the country

Abahamba is a very poor country, and ergo, the sporting landscape reflects that. Association football is by far the country's most popular sport, with basketball being the second choice behind that. With the country being such a soccer mad land, there were rumors that they were trying to apply to the WCC to participate in World Cup 100 Qualifying- but for reasons that are not yet clear to the general public, it did not happen. That said, there is high participation in the country, and the World Cup is a highly popular tournament to follow.

[Soviet Kem]

---

Match Day 1 Group 14
Shiverian Republics (UR) vs Soviet Kem (200)

3-2-2-1-2 Formation
Starting XI

GK 6 Zoinski
CB 58 Kenidky
LCB 19 Gente
RCB 17 Jent
LDM 15 Fendski
RDM 11 Hedzinski
LCM 10 Putanik (Captain)
RCM 56 Genish II
SS 29 Gligimesh
LST 23 Nort
RST 20 Fengski

---

In a pregame press conference ahead Soviet Kem's debut in World Cup Qualifying Ken Stavisk, manager of the Soviet Kemrainan national team, has stated, "We have a challenge ahead of us, an unranked team, Shiverian Republics. There is little to no information on how they will play, we don't know their players or even what stadium we are travelling to! There has been no releases about what we are to expect, so we will show up ready to fight as though we are facing the top ranked national team in the multiverse, Squornshelous."

---

Match Day 1:
Shiverian Republics (UR) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 2:
Bye
Match Day 3:
Soviet Kem (200) v Minoptra (307)
Match Day 4:
Banija (22) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 5:
Soviet Kem (200) v Kita-Hinode (408)
Match Day 6:
Libonesia (251) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 7:
Soviet Kem (200) v Reçueçn (37)
Match Day 8:
The North Polish Union (136) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 9:
Soviet Kem (200) v Kandorith (109)
Match Day 10:
Soviet Kem (200) v Shiverian Republics (UR)
Match Day 11:
Bye
Match Day 12:
Minoptra (307) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 13:
Soviet Kem (200) v Banija (22)
Match Day 14:
Kita-Hinode (408) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 15:
Soviet Kem (200) v Libonesia (251)
Match Day 16:
Reçueçn (37) v Soviet Kem (200)
Match Day 17:
Soviet Kem (200) v The North Polish Union (136)
Match Day 18:
Kandorith (109) v Soviet Kem (200)

[Sarzonia]

The video was grainy and the sound quality was dismal to say the least.

However, a junior investigator played it on repeat prior to running it through the artificial intelligence that was supposed to officially confirm the identity of the speaker. They played it again. Then they played another video that was clearly identifiable as the person they'd suspected was the mole.

"I think you should come take a look at this," they said to their boss.

"A video from a bar? What the fuck you showing me this shit for?"

"Just watch and listen!"

Rolling his eyes, the supervisor played the video and the audio.

"I ain't hear shi- wait a minute." The eyes that were half-closed out of disdain for what he thought was uninteresting drivel best served being sent to the gossip networks and publications suddenly opened fully. His eyebrows furrowed with sudden intent. He tapped the volume control all the way to the top and played the video again.

"Can you clean this up?"

"I've already done the best I could with it. Next thing is to run Clouseau."

The supervisor thought for a moment. Clouseau was only to be used if there was at the very least probable cause in a criminal investigation. In civil case, there at least needed to be clear and convincing evidence to warrant running the A.I. software. It cost the agency $830 per use, and spending it on frivolous chases was extremely frowned upon. However, he played the clip again. The third time, he pressed the speaker to his ear, hoping to either get enough confirmation to justify the expense or something that would prevent him from wasting the agency's money on a wild goose chase. His eyes widened after playing the audio one more time. He thought back to the conversations he had with his boss about running Clouseau.

I can justify it, he thought. I have a strong enough suspicion at this point.

"I'll run it," he said. "But if it's less than 90 percent certain," he said gruffly.

"It won't be," the young investigator said. "I'm sure of it."

Shaking his head, he entered the keystrokes necessary to activate the investigative artificial intelligence, looking skeptically as the report began slowly increasing its percentage count for a positive identification of their suspect. That skepticism soon melted away as the number crept up past the 70s and into the 80s. It stayed at a steady climb and within a few seconds, it crossed over 90 percent.

Ninety percent probability. That was enough to keep his boss off his back. If it reaches 95 percent, they'll be certain they got their suspect. He looked approvingly at the young investigator and finally broke into a slight grin. The looked back and saw the number slowly creep to 97.8 percent. There was extremely little doubt. They had their suspect. The supervisor looked at his young investigator, nodded, and said, "thank you." Then he grabbed his mobile phone and looked up his boss. Within seconds, his phone rang.

"Roenicke," he said. "Yes, boss. It's at 97.8 percent certain-" he stopped short. The number had actually hit 98.2. "Make that 98.2 percent probability. You better come down and look at this."

"I'll be right over. Good work, Roenicke."

"That was our junior investigator. He- uh, they found the video and audio."

"Tell him, I mean them, good work."

"I just did," Roenicke said. "Thank you, Jordan. You got a bright future in the biz." They smiled, nodded, and walked back to their desk, suppressing a fist-pump for the ages until the gruff Brian Roenicke was out of sight.

Ned Hoffstetder walked into the building as Jordan was making their way back to their desk.

"I hear you did well, kid," Hoffstetder said. "Great job."

"Thanks, sir," they said before going back to their desk.

"Here's the final report," Roenicke said as he showed Hoffstetder the printed version as well as the online version.

"Ain't that a bitch," he said. "Heads are gonna roll at the very top of the IFF."

That's exactly what happened. Zack Wilson was suddenly sacked as the chairman of the Incorporated Football Federation, as he was confirmed to be the mole. Several members of the Board of Governors also were fired, not even being granted the usual golden parachute severance packages they would otherwise have been accustomed to receiving. Instead of a Wilson calling the shots, it would be former national team manager Brady Reynolds who was now appointed as interim chairman of the organisation. There was going to be a full search for Zack Wilson's replacement whilst his younger son Spencer Wilson plied his trade for the Stars in the Century Edition of the World Cup. And Caleb Rush, who was all of a sudden vindicated by the reveal of the mole whose loose lips damn near sunk his tenure as manager, would be back once again to guide the team in this historic edition of football's -- and the multiverse's -- most storied competition.

[Shin-Zetsubo]

Allsopp's got the ball on her feet. Over to Colt, she has her eyes on GOAL! BUNNY COLT!!! BUNNY COLT!!! REMEMBER THAT NAME, BUNNY COLT MIGHT JUST HAVE WON SHIN-ZETSUBO THE BAPTISM OF FIRE!!!

Ms. Colt was rightfully surrounded by her teammates in red on that fateful day in Canterlot. Against everything everyone had against them, against all the odds one could get against them as a team without so much as an atom of football experience before this very tournament, the Despair Girls of Shin-Zetsubo proved everybody wrong. Freakin' Baptism of Fire Champions. The one very shot they had to win the trophy, they did what they were supposed to do - Outlast the biggest field in the history of the newcomers-only tournament, including a mammoth 64-team knockout phase, and have the trophy in their very arms. Despairing Soccer won that day, and whilst Dwerryhouse was the only one who came away with an individual award from the SFA Technical Study Group out in Stewartika (Bronze Ball winner, you'll never say that), the whole team won something bigger - A title they can call their own.

The atmosphere on the day of the qualifying draw in the capital of Towa City was electric. The finishing touches were being put on the Despairing Soccer Ground, which was meant to be the home of the national team for the foreseeable future, but the feeling of seeing themselves in qualifying for the biggest World Cup on record was enough to push them to the side. 270 teams alone had to fight for 45 lone spots to join the three hosts in West Pavola, and with a Pot 4 designation already from their triumph, SHZ liked their odds. So much so that the entire roster gathered to watch the long draw ceremony. And it was long. But the wait to determine which group they were in was very short once it actually got to Pot 4.

Group 1. At the time their fellow members were Txakhaxi, The Democratic Unionist Cool Kids (cool name by the way), Orioni, Golfo central (likely translating to "Central Gulf" and not "Golf Central" according to the Alter Ego AI), New Zhengguo and... 5 time world champions and #2 ranked Valanora, home to one of the greatest to ever play the sport in one Laborious Hawk. Apart from Group 12's Squornshelan Remnant States or Group 18's defending champs Audioslavia, that was the strongest team one could get. It served Shin-Zetsubo right to have the chance to travel to the Hatire Memorial, after all. They were supposedly one of the very best nations in the past 99 World Cups, while the Despair Girls were meant to represent the new generation.

The buzz from the draw quickly wore out as the final 2 teams in the group were revealed, Gyaromia and Calgasia, and even the mystery on who scored for Minoptra during that 6-1 demolition job (probably Augusto Carvalho or Kyle Nix, but it wasn't for certain since they only knew the last names of the players) fell by the wayside. It was officially time to get to work for this entire qualification cycle.

First up was to be a trip to New Zhengguo to open up the qualification campaign, before The Democratic Unionist Cool Kids would be given the honor to be the first team the Despair Girls would face at the Despairing Soccer Ground. They were sub-top 200 and sub-top 400 teams respectively so it should be easy... But it was the World Cup qualifiers. Even Maryanne Good knew it wasn't going to be easy. Most of these nations already had experience in this setting, traveling all over to play the game that they love. While their pot position meant that they were likely to fight for a playoff spot (2nd and 3rd in the group advanced to the playoffs while first place would earn a direct ticket), Despairing Soccer hadn't been tried against one of these veteran squads. Only time would tell if that magic that guided them to the Baptism trophy would manifest itself in a trip to West Pavola.

---

Chrystill Emoran was used to stuff appearing in her mail by now. Shin-Zetsubo Despair Mail was always her reliable friend, since packages were forced to be sent anonymously, names redacted and all... What she got in the mail the day before traveling to New Zhengguo was anything but ordinary.

It was a game console - the Apex NSS1 - and a... Officially licensed World Cup 100 video game? She was even given a note with the pair, reading as follows:

Hello Chrystill!

We here at [NAME REDACTED BY SHIN-ZETSUBO DESPAIR MAIL] are pleased to give you a gift for participating in the World Cup 100 qualifiers. Inside you'll find the hot new gaming system, the Apex NSS1 from [NAME REDACTED BY SHIN-ZETSUBO DESPAIR MAIL], and our newest title, Pavola, the official video game of World Cup 100! We have taken the effort to include your team in as a playable nation, along side (almost) every other team in qualifying as well as the hosts. When you're not planning your positionless tactics, unwind with the squad and see who can take Shin-Zetsubo all the way to glory in the virtual world!

We'd love to hear back when you have the chance.

Sincerely,
[NAME REDACTED BY SHIN-ZETSUBO DESPAIR MAIL]

Although the names on the letter were redacted, she could easily identify who actually sent it. Ironic, the system meant to block any and all names so the citizens can feel despair not knowing who to reply to messed up for once. Apex Systems made the NSS1, SavadoX Games made the World Cup game. "Alright", said Emoran, "let's see what all the fuss is about." No less than 20 minutes later, after plugging in the console and booting up the game, there she was, controller in hand, playing as her own nation in a "friendly" against Valanora.

"Is that... Me?" She gawked as a virtual representation of her own likeness was displayed on the screen, complete with clipboard, as her red-wearing squad came out on the pitch. "And that's Lyon! And Colby! A-and Bunny Colt too! My girls! My team!"

All of a sudden Emoran was giddy with despairful glee, and armed with a new way to keep her team engaged, especially on the road. It was as if she was the one controlling her team, fighting tooth and nail with the Vanorians. It was for naught, their ratings were better than her team's as the virtual Eternal Empire won 3-0, but with an experience like that...

"Hey Allsopp, I got something. It's... A World Cup game," Emoran texted to the rockstar striker.

"Gyahaha! Oh, virtual despair! I love that stuff! GIMME!"

...Safe to say someone else was interested.

[Pyazhnaya]

BREAKING NEWS: Rising Tension in Federatsya Futbola Pyazhnayina Amidst Rumours of Coach Aleksandra Agratova's Dismissal

Krasnograd, Pyazhnaya - October 25
Only hours before Pyazhnaya's first game in the World Cup 100 qualifying campaign against top seed Saint Eleanor, stunning news have emerged from the offices of the Federatsya Futbola Pyazhnayina (FFP), igniting concerns about the future of the national football team. Speculation has been swirling regarding some voices from FFP officials about the possible sacking of Aleksandra Agratova, the national team's coach who led Pyazhnaya to its first-ever World Cup qualification at WC99.

Agratova, who has become a national icon following the historic qualification, is said to be facing growing pressure from parts of the PFF leadership. The rumours began circulating late last week, with multiple sources within the Federation claiming that Agratova's position is under threat despite her undeniable success on the field.

Agratova’s appointment as head coach has been hailed as a historic gamechanger for Pyazhnayan football, taking over from luckless Aleksandr Zavrashin. The former player-turned-coach had instilled a before-unseen fire in the team during the qualifiers of WC99, writing football history. Against all odds, they won their qualifying group ahead of higher seeded teams like Aleirave, Baggieland and Yuezhou, before finishing their World Cup group as third position, including their first-ever win against Oberour Ar Moro.

However, sources close to the PFF are now pointing to growing internal tensions at the top levels of the Federation. Current FFP president Rodion Golobayov, who had been instrumental in appointing Agratova, is under fire by political factions within the fgederation who find Agratova's unorthodox methods and her strong-willed leadership style disruptive. Leader of the opposition is Simona Zubova, who is concerned about the growing influence of Agratova's supporters in the Pyazhnayan football establishment.

Insiders claim that power struggles within the PFF are largely motivated by political games, mostly ignoring sporting outcomes. The controversy reached new heights following an emergency meeting on Thursday, which reportedly included sharp disagreements between PFF board members.

Agratova herself claims to be unfazed by the unrest, telling reporters she has "no intention of stepping down" and is focused on "continuing the work to prepare for the World Cup." She holds the support by the vast majority of the Pyazhnayan public, who has expressed outrage at the very suggestion of her dismissal, especially since the national team's success at World Cup 99 had managed to unite the nation in ways previously believed impossible.

This is furthered by several campaigns on social media platforms such as cica.da, NextVibe or SnapSphere, where fans across Pyazhnaya and even abroad are voicing their support for Agratova. Many fans are now questioning the Federation's commitment to progress and transparency and calls have been made for an investigation into outside influences in the FFP.

"We are seriously questioning the intentions behind bringing this up now, the WC100 qualifiers are just about to start! The team needs everything but these kinds of rumours. It's outragous they're even considering removing her," said Vyacheslav Zerezov, leader of one of Pyazhnaya's biggest ultra groups Bagrovye Zvezdy (Maroon Stars). "The Federation needs to focus on the team and the game, not their egos and stupid political games."

Even politicians have weighed in, among them Sports Minister Alina Dovlenko, who has called the potential firing "an appalling example of political games ruining what is important." She added, "Agratova deserves our full support, not this backstabbing nonsense."

PSN has reached out to team members just before their departure to Saint Eleanor. Captain Danila Mukhametshin has summed it up as: "They can all just fuck off."


Stay tuned in to PSN for updates as this developing story unfolds.

---

Reporting by Nadia Volkov for Pyazhnaya Sports News

[The Sernetian Empire]

Matchday 1 - Sernet vs Juvencus @Juvencus

by Salman Ferisen

Tomorrow, we are playing Juvencus. The plane with our boys on it is said to have already landed in Pomena, the capital of the nation, two days ago. We don't know the real name of the airport, and we don't even know if its in Pomena, but we're assuming it is as its their capital. Fair assumption to make, no? Actually it could be Scudeli as apparently that's their largest city. Anyways, after a long journey there, they got to rest at the hotel, which was reported to have a large swimming pool just for the sernetian players to use. Despite being injured, Oktawiusz Cydonski filmed himself diving into the swimming pool from the highest diving board. Nice one buddy.

The day after that (so yesterday) they did some intensive pre-matchday training at a nearby training ground. We got some footage of Pasarowski and Twisk making some fabulous saves, leaping like cats, as well at Lersig and Andrejano practicing their long-distance goal kicks. They better do that in the real match.
The rest of the team were also training hard, with us obtaining some footage of some excellent defensive work training from Mantrostem and Głoliń. Other highlights include some slightly more offensive work by the midfielders, and the forwards working on their shot accuracy and practicing the corner tactic. Then there was also some more footage of some slightly more boring passing exercises. The whole squad was getting into gear yesterday.

As for what to expect at tomorrow's match, we really don't know. We haven't a clue about the names of their players, but they seem to be a pretty good team according to the rankings as well as some rumors. No matter how good they are though, we will still beat them. Or at least try to. If we draw, I will count that as a good result. We don't know the name of the stadium we're playing at either, hopefully we find out soon or all the fans coming in from Sernet won't know where to go. We don't want our people spending all this money getting to Juvencus only to not be able to watch the actual match.
What was funny is they provided us with the name of their manager, his name is 'secret'. Very funny indeed.
Anyways, I wish the boys good luck at the match tomorrow.
#thepowerofsernet

[Oberour Ar Moro]

You Don't Know Charles
The Least Eventful Coming-of-Age Story in Television History

By Rose Broudier

The text came early one morning. A friend had spotted it on the television listings. It was coming. There on the schedule to be shown on Antenne Arts 2 at 2:30 in the morning the Monday after next.

Episode One of Life: About Charles Garcia.

Life: About Charles Garcia comes to the Dominion from Lymantatia. Lymantatia may be a somewhat obscure nation to today's Oberour. Still, it could be best known for footballing legend Jacques Bressler, a goalscorer so prolific and talismanic Equestrian club Manechester City offered Laurentia FC 200 million for him, and Laurentia FC turned them down flat. Or it would be obscure if you weren't obsessed with this bizarre documentary series.

Life is a documentary series where you follow young Lymantatian Charles Garcia as he grows from a kindergartener to an adult. This is not a unique concept; various film series have done something similar. Life was unique in one way in that it was yearly, instead of checking up on its subject over a series of years.

It was unique in another way in that it was terribly boring.

Life was a plodding, drama-free, and thematically unfocused look at possibly the dullest child ever born.

It's a documentary where so little happens; it could be called "Beige video to sleep to".

So, of course, I'm a huge fan. An ironic fan, but a fan.

The background: Charles Garcia was the second oldest of eventually five children of Nicholas Garcia and Mary Bauer. He was born and raised in "Elizabethville, Northridge, Englesberry, Lymantatia", as the documentary will take great pains to tell you, constantly. Charles is introduced as a bit of a prodigy. He speaks two languages, he's a whiz with computers, and he loves football. I do not doubt that the director and the producer had high hopes they would see a child grow into a man in full before their very eyes. And he did grow. But basically, nothing changed, ever.

Every year Charles grew a year older. He had different teachers, who we were introduced to. Every year, some teachers liked him, others didn’t. He had the same friends from kindergarten: John Orville, Mary Albert, and Jennifer Lawrence. He used a computer at a high level. He played for the Elizabethville Junior United youth football club, which was generally expected to win its championship every year. “And so we did,” win the title every year, as Charles would put it.

And it went on like this. Every. Single. Episode.

It gets to the point that small differences have to be played up for high drama. In Chapter 5, Charles’ computer club took a field trip to the Vircao Technology Museum. In Chapter 6, John Orville moved to Vircao, and he was seamlessly and frictionlessly replaced in Charles’ friend group with Alexander O'Connor. In Chapter 12, there was more turnover in the friend group: Mary Albert moved to Connorstown, and she was “replaced” by Haruka Aikawa.

Replaced. The documentary literally used the word “replaced” to describe what might be a major change for a normal 17-year-old. Here, it was presented as getting a new washing machine for the house.

In seemingly desperate efforts to find anything interesting to film, the documentaries occasionally bring up Charles’ siblings (not his parents, oddly). But this is generally limited to just checking in with the Garcia children and confirming that they, too, are growing up and advancing through school.

Either despite or because of its mind-numbing repetitiveness, Life has many fans, though the reason for their fandom can vary. Some appreciate Charles’ considered positives, how unbothered he was by drama, how certain he was in who he seemed to be. Some watch Life as a sort of horror movie, balled up on the couch with their hands over their eyes as Charles lets life pass by him without a seeming care. Some get even more ironic. I understand that there is a not insignificant number of Oberours finding Connorstown University gear to wear, representing Charles’ eventual alma mater.

Each Chapter, 1 through 9, represented one school year of Charles’ life. But the next chapter was a change… in format. “Chapter 10-11” was two years of Charles’ life in one episode. And it was a particularly slight edition, focused entirely on school, friends, computers, siblings, and football. (This sounds like a lot, you can be assured that it isn't.) Chapter 12 was another shorter edition, though it did feature a new year celebration at Lymantatia’s Laurentia Clock Tower. Finally, fireworks! Literal fireworks, but it's something.

Episodes ran shorter and shorter, as apparently the interest or tolerance of the creators ran out. The final episode was “Chapter 15-17”, compressing three years where Charles ran a “TV-related” site and coached Elizabethville Junior United. Charles, somehow, had become a one-club man for a youth football team, extending out into his adulthood.

There is one mystery: Chapter 18. It isn’t a full episode, it’s a postscript to Chapter 15-17. Subtitled “Marriage”, it notes in text only that Charles marries… Elizabeth Meyers. Who? A woman literally never introduced in the entirety of the series. The shock of this hit every Life watcher hard. After seeing Charles grow and not change, it would be fully expected that he marries Jennifer Lawrence, one of the first females outside his family he probably ever met, and one he spent the most time with. Just that level of galactic gravitational pull would imply that he just ended up with her out of default.

So where did Elizabeth come from? How did a story documenting Charles’ life to a bureaucratic degree… completely miss a part of his life?

My belief, perhaps my hope, is that Life: About Charles Garcia was just not about Charles Garcia. It was about a documentarian being unable to actually pierce the veil and actually show who the actual Charles Garcia was. Perhaps because they didn’t care, or didn’t know how to ask the proper questions. They were obsessed with documented facts and uninterested in things that can’t be put in a file.

Charles’ older brother Nicholas Jr. attended Vircao University but Charles went to Connorstown University. His friend Mary moved to Connorstown the year prior. Was he going to chase Mary, or was it incidental? According to the documentary, Charles had never even been to Connorstown before, while he had gone to Vircao multiple times for the Technology Museum and on vacation.

The documentary didn’t tell us, presumably because they didn’t ask. It’s easier to show the college application.

Perhaps even Charles realized early on that this documentary ostensibly about him wasn't about him, and never would be. Maybe he sabotaged it himself, giving the lamest, weakest version of himself to the camera and lived a fuller, more complete existence beyond the glare of light and lenses.

Ultimately, I want to believe that Life: About Charles Garcia wasn’t about Charles Garcia's life at all.