World Bowl LI [51] Everything Thread

by **Dhemixia** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 7:02 pm

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The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
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This is how they get you

Schedule

blue matchups are at home
yellow matchups are neutral site
~~MD1: vs. Natkr~~ W 36-0 (1st)
~~MD2: vs. Andso Mangis~~ W 39-10 (1st)
~~MD3: vs. Rouyoute~~ W 32-13 (1st)
~~MD4: @ Abanhfleft~~ W 15-13 (1st)
~~MD5: vs. Katzeburg~~ L 17-20 (1st)
~~MD6: vs. Ranoria~~ L 14-17 (3rd)
~~MD7: @ Valanora~~ L 43-16 (6th)
MD8: @ Natkr
MD9: BYE
MD10: vs. Ko-oren
MD11: @ Drawkland
MD12: @ Ranoria
MD13: @ Katzeburg
MD14: vs. Valanora

We're over with the first onslaught, and into, as predicted, a bye week that means absolutely nothing. You may ask, "Why does it mean nothing? The Serpents are probably going to beat Natkr and go into the bye with momentum, allowing them to rest and to gain confidence if they want a shot at the apex predator, Ko-oren, before going over to Weenie Hut Jr's and presumably clapping a never-has-been Grid Corps at a little shed in their backyard they call 'Metro Arena'." Well, that's a very good question, and you'd be right about everything stated except for the fact that they're going to gain momentum and gain confidence in the bye week. The concept is correct, they pretty much snowballed momentum-wise into a 4-game streak to open the tournament red-hot, almost making it 5 before choking at The Brig to Katzeburg and maybe even 6 before letting the Ranoria game slip away. What you're failing to consider is that the Serpents, unlike UCP, are not fueled by momentum because at some point or another, they've learned better composure from having to play under Craig Kelly (why does he even try hiding his identity anymore, quite literally everyone knows it's him and it's just more effort than it's worth at this point right). Again, though, they are fueled inversely by negative momentum, meaning all four of those wins were independent of eachother, but all three of those losses in a row definitely had a domino effect on the others, evidenced by the 43-16 belting received from Valanora, almost identical to what happens in NSCF, too.

Before that point, the Serpents actually did put up a good fight against Ranoria, but even then, they weren't expected to win that game and a win there was the "best-case scenario" for them, of which is impossible to actually come true for a Dhemixian NT. Jerry Atkinson would practically be flying solo, as the Krauts haven't even invented the forward pass over in Ranoria yet and are still some of the best in the business at defending it apparently. You'd think, for a team that pretty much only knows what running the ball is, they'd only lock down the run game. They did do that, part of the reason Alex Reynolds just wouldn't be handed the ball for the entire fourth quarter (and also they didn't actually make it into the red zone anyways so it's not like he was allowed to run the ball), but they also limited explosive plays drastically more than the Dhemixian defense did. This is when the wheels began to fall off, because Atkinson could only manage to get a handful of plays to work all game, and the defense was seemingly unable to stop a run play that was all but guaranteed to happen literally every play. They then took this momentum and played the entire nation's reaper, if it was also another nation: Valanora. Now, in the Dhemixians' defense, the Vanorians pretty much own every nation ever, but it's just personal against the Dhemixians in general for even daring to have success and challenge them. As expected, an absolute beatdown away ensued, and there's not really any takeaways from that game that can even be salvaged. It's just all pain, and such is life playin a Vanorian NT.

Either way, the Dhemixians would then come into the Natkr game with that negative momentum fresh in the brain, which is NOT a good idea if you actually want to win a game that you should easily be able to win. Objectively, this is shaping up to be the easiest Natkr upset that just busts the Serpents out of the tournament, but they fail to see what is right in front of them. They still believe they can win in this situation, they still believe there's a happy end to their story: They can't. Even if they beat Natkr and somehow beat the rest of the teams they're supposed to beat alongside MAYBE an upset or two, you're still stuck at 7-8 and are NOT making the playoffs. By breaking up the punishment from other teams, they attempt to make the losing less painful and give you hope when it looks like they've turned a corner, only to come in for the kill at your most vulnerable and rip your heart out with 5 games to go. This is how they get you.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 7:54 pm

OOC: Mobile RPing while on travel is hard. Happy Korean Independence Day!

Four Weddings and a Funeral

PART 2.2 - MARIUS - The Defence

‘Congratulations, Dr. Hauck.’

Winter gave way into Spring in the nation’s capital, as Dr. Patricia Hauck successfully passed her dissertation defence in English Literature at the Universite St. Croix. The skylines of Joongyeong, which stood relatively flat and ancient on the core and glacial on the outer skirts on the east, reflected the weather both overcast and in their twenties, with snow having melted weeks before.

Standing before the reception room of the English department building at Evanston Hall, an 19th-century neoclassical building whose department had grown out of the halls and the classrooms in technological and methodological capacity, were Dr. Patricia, his partner Marius E. Kim and Pat’s 61-year-old father, Noel Hauck, who looked all too fitting into the domains. If it’s not for Patricia’s recently-found fame online, and the fact security members were nearby for the approaching Meghan Casavant, a Bleu et Blanc alumna who stood on the Board of Governors, and who many remembered as the spouse to iconic former Prime Minister Arsene Pineau Kim, most wouldn’t have noticed how it’s not as ordinary as it may have seemed.

The woman of the day, with her brown hair stretched long and the gap on her teeth noticeable, might have been the one who fit the domains the best, and yet Patricia shared least of the privileges that were commonly associated with those students. Dr. Patricia Hauck was never in particular ease with the posh, stuck-up fashion of St. Croix’s domains, and her particular issues with allergies and sensories, had left much of the functions and colloquiums, ones that had left, an ordeal in its own way.

Coincidentally, that was how eventually ended up with her pursuing postgraduate research in the field after a BSc in Chemistry and English at a state school, in Myeongju State University out on the east coast. And that was also how she ended up meeting Marius. His partner, Marius, whose family came from a different world of notoriety, too read literatures, but the comparative nature of his work on Akakhov’s influence on Shingoryeoite postmodernists had instead swallowed him alive, causing him to Master it out. But his demeanour, even after he had chosen life in professional sectors, remained optimistic, and his search for intriguing topics would end up how they met in first place.

‘We are proud of you, girlie, I’m sure Nancy’s looking from above,’ Noel Hauck said to her daughter, briefly reminded of his late life partner. ‘Don’t forget to remember who you are, and celebrate this day.’

Pat’s face turned slightly red upon mention of Nancy, before she embraced her dad back. ‘I know, she’s watching above proudly,’ she answered. ‘Just wish that she could have been here to watch.’

‘Yes, but heavens always had other plans,’ he said, in a bittersweet manner. ‘Don’t be sad it’s late, be glad you’ve shared that node of fate.’

‘Thanks dad,’ Pat quietly broke off the hug, quietly giving a light grin. The past decade since Nancy’s passing, a product of rare condition that had drained and sapped much out of her and her family, had left a noticeable gap between them. Even to this point it’s felt, even as past year or two’s suggested that perhaps, the shrouds were slowly lifting at the Haucks’ old country house in Sutton Forest, Terre-Aux-Oiseaux.

She turned around to look at Marius, who seemed every bit happy about the way her defence had gone. Dressed comfortably in a dark suit with looser dress pants and pale suit, he long eschewed the ties that he made sure not to miss in his earlier, schoolboy days when his commitment towards the outlook of the world was more set than now.

He, however, wasn’t looking at her, rather at another direction where Meghan Casavant approached them in a hurried, if a bit stuttered way. Meghan, who was once one of the most eligible women in all of Joongyeong, was always a hot-tempered woman, and even at the 75-year-old retained some of her younger, bolder features that seldom went away into age and grace.

‘Granny,’ Marius said, trying his best not to sound courteous to her, as he gave her a slight embrace. ‘Sorry for telling you about it late. I know that gramps and I were never on good terms, so I wasn’t sure if you would make-’

‘Where would I be without you, or your father,’ Meghan said nonchalantly as she quickly broke it off, though he was able to send a slight sass in her voice. ‘But you need to be kinder to him.’

She then turned to look at Patricia and her father, gesturing to them with a light tip of her hat before quietly excusing themselves aside. ‘Have you decided on the royal wedding?’ she asked. ‘You know, they expect you and Patricia to be there, Arsene thinks so and so do I.’

Politics, isn’t it? Marius thought to himself, as he immediately figured why she’s said. Meghan, coming from a family of renowned campaigners, organisers and bankers, was always shrewd. She always carried many meanings whenever he said something. ‘Granny, please. You know that’s not on our agenda.’

‘It’s an order, not a request,’ she answered, her opal eyes piercing into her grandson. ‘You don’t say no when there is a royal wedding, not when the bride’s Claire Lundrigan. Would you say no to a friend?’

This part was somewhat true. Perhaps to the virtue of the late great writer, whose works’ significance in contemporary Quebeco-Shingoryeoite canon, friendship to the Christine II and whose seclusion in the Coxwell Park had afforded many to pay a visit, he grew up a friend of Claire and H. Raoul. They eventually grew apart, especially as visits lessened with the Lord Lundrigan’s worsening conditions, and the entrance of other families came, but he still recognised Claire as a friend, even at an increasing margin.

‘Perhaps not, though it feels a long time ago that we were once friends,’ Marius answered in a concession. ‘Perhaps we could walk behind the background.’

Meghan briefly turned to look at Patricia, who seemed to enjoy talking to her father. Most likely on the dissertation, Meghan thought. ‘I may not agree with her research, but you know Patricia’s the star in her field, not you,’ she said. ‘She’s a keeper, the way your grandpa was. A total Jack Hoy, Isaka Jawara, Farmerboy Garrett, Benoit Youngblood, however you name it.’

‘Only to throw it away to run for office,’ he answered in a lighthearted grin.

‘Yes, but he found his true path, and he served the country for it,’ Meghan answered, slightly in defence of the former Prime Ministers. ‘Yours are yet to come, but it eventually will. May as well while you can.’

He decided to give in. ‘Alright, grandma, I will,’ he answered. ‘I will mark off the date.’

‘Oh, my baby,’ said Meghan, as she hugged him back, half in reinforcement and half in encouragement. ‘Remember that your old man’s proud of you, as we are.’

by **Cardenao** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 8:14 pm

“Hellll yeah that’s how you do it my boy! THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT!!!!!!!”

Mack King, of edge rushing royalty, was amped the hell up after the zebra whistled that the game was over. Smashing those fools 36-6 after thumping whoever it was 39-9, Mack let out a howl as he smacked Alabaster Red on the back–they were definitely playing like the world #1 now and that high was hitting his bloodstream like the sweetest CAD-E out there.

“Bobby boyyyy!” He ripped out as he punched the Bobby Dials right on the chestpad, who really didn’t like it when people did it but this was part of the Big Mack package.

“Thanks dickhead, I gotta get on camera now.” He said, already dreading his second meeting with the entity known as Kayla Fornia.

La Furia Azule was definitely in their groove now, minus the surprise loss in the first round, the team was firing on all cylinders. For every bit as incredible their quarterback had been thus far, shredding almost everyone before him, the team’s defense had been just as good, maybe even better. Seven games into the tournament and they’d held the opposition to less than double-digit points in four of them. Could that continue? Well it was definitely possible, but the majority of the games to this point had been against comparatively weaker opposition so it was hard to read too far into it? Bobby had to shake his head and laugh, when you’re ranked #1, isn’t everyone considered comparatively weaker opposition? So shouldn’t the standard be to play like this every game?

Maybe that’s why the Cardenaoans had failed in spectacular fashion to defend their title, albeit being eliminated by the eventually victorious Ranorians was nothing to feel shame in. They had reached the peak of sports for their country, it’s hard to motivate further beyond that, and that was the difference between them and the Banijan or Ranorian sides that had conquered everyone before them. Honestly the loss in World Bowl 50 and the immediate L to begin the 51 campaign could end up being the spark that leads the team to even greater heights now that they were playing the way they were.

Bobby felt the same rush in his heart that Mack King was feeling, the Blue and Golds weren’t just beating the teams in front of them, they were smashing them and once you knew that’s what you're capable of…the standard is raised and you better fight like hell to keep it there.

When you’re living on one of the two smaller islands off the coast of Cardenao, hidden right off the ‘A’ in maps published on the mainland, far away from any sort of office, factory, or neatly paved roads, you had to learn to make your own happiness cause it ain’t coming from anywhere else. As the golden sun hung low over the shared ‘bay’ and baked the salt from cresting waves into their skin, the locals of Illa and Irla put aside their differences in acknowledgment of the joy they forged for themselves. Not every day was like this, sure most of them were just as sunny and spectacular, but life out here away from New Cardonia could be rough and unforgiving–fail to catch enough fish during the day and your family might go hungry that night…as if your community would ever let that happen! Outsiders wouldn’t get it, they wouldn’t understand, but that’s exactly what kept the locals local and drew in a couple few outsiders each year, usually those who got to experience a day like today: Harbor Day.

Good ole Harbor Day, a rare time where Illa and Irla set aside their self-imagined differences and half the islands to the waterfront, eating grilled fish and salad with watermelon and cheese, sipping on rum and tonic. The sound of children laughing was carried in on the sea breeze, mixing with the vigorous swearing of sailors competing in various boating competitions. Those with particularly sharp hearing might be able to catch bits and portions, but the certain bit that would come to matter very much was only heard by those there, as such things go.

“You call that a catch? A prize catch?” Camilo said with a laugh as he pointed to the Irlan ships haul. “You wouldn’t catch an Illan dead calling that bait!”

The crew from Irla laughed in a way that didn’t quite seem friendly, the laugh of those who had been bullied for perhaps a day too long. Luigi, captain of the crew from Illa, spat a seed at them.

“S’funny, I thought Irlan’s used to be real men.”

The crews laughed and scowled respectively but some of the old heads tasting the vigor of youth felt pangs of worry deep in their being. Generations of the two islands being at each other’s throats and now, with the way random cities like Capo Capatori and the Treasure Valley could either live or die depending on if they caught Mihaly’s eyes and pockets, well the jealousy was becoming tinged by a realization that only one of these two islands could get lucky. Only one of them would ultimately be rewarded by the powers that be.

One of the Ilan crew ‘accidentally’ grabbed his fishing hook and ‘accidentally’ cut the rope holding one of the Irlan catch crates together–fish, prized fish from the very best of Cardenao’s fisheries, spilled onto the dock, some back in their home world of water, floating unmovingly with the death of the outside world alive within them.

“You fucking watch yourself there,” Luigi warned them, crossing his arms over his chest like his dad always used to when he was yelling at him or his mother.

“Oh yeah I’m watching,” Camillo said as he crossed his arms mockingly. “Think I’m gonna watch you pick those fish back up with your hands like a real man of the docks.”

Locals will swear that the first contact wasn’t hard, more like a push to prove a point really, but the history books would record it as the punch that led to slippery brawl over spilled fish. Eventually, the harbor master got the situation under control threatening to cancel this years AND NEXT’S Harbor Day, which was enough to bring everyone to heel. For now.

By the time the sun set, that story was already being retold and reformed on both islands, instigators became victims, victims became violent, somehow neither island had done anything wrong and yet the other was all to blame.

Either way, things were just getting warmed up.

by **Drawkland** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 8:17 pm

After much complaining from the fans and procrastinating by DISC, Drawkland's Grid Corps is finally getting a national tour for their World Bowl group stage home schedule. Of course, they had a pseudo-tour in World Bowl XLIX, but that was mostly thanks to the fact that literally every game was held in Drawkland. Metro Arena has been the hosting venue for almost every Grid Corps home game otherwise, drawing ire from many fans across the country far from the capital who wish they could see the Grid Corps play in person.

Unfortunately, DISC was swamped with work while organizing the actual tournament, so the arrangements for Grid Corps play fell to the wayside. At the time of the tournament beginning, only two alternate sites had been selected: Spartan Veteran Stadium in Sadeg against Dhemixia, and Coravkey Bank Stadium in Akkor Beach against Ranoria. The latter only half counted though, since Akkor Beach was the designated "neutral" site for the Outbox Conference. It just happens to be a home game for Drawkland in this case.

With Metro Arena guaranteed to hold the home opener against Katzeburg, all the other matches in the schedule were designated as "Metro Arena until posted otherwise." This was also unpopular with fans, but at least they had the implication that games would be held elsewhere eventually. Thankfully, in gridiron football, there's a week between each match, so the turnarounds wouldn't be ridiculously quick. Even so, the switch for the Rouyoute game was very last-minute. The rest of the venues at least had a few weeks after the announcement for fans to prepare.

Below is the information for each of the unique venues where the Grid Corps will play home games this cycle. Not included are blurbs for Metro Arena and Coravkey Bank Stadium, which are located in the roster and IC info posts, respectively.

MD5 vs Rouyoute: Corps Central Stadium (177,000) Drawk City
Drawkland's largest non-speedway non-Seven Stars venue, built for a gridiron football team, somehow hasn't hosted the Grid Corps in a very very long time. Even during World Bowl XLIX in the North Division, the Grid Corps somehow dodged playing there, instead getting a game at the maligned Lookout Stadium in Drawk City. That wasn't really on purpose, but it didn't prevent Drawk Corps fans from complaining incessantly. Don't worry, they'll still be complaining, because they only got the game against Rouyoute rather than a more high-profile team. At least they watched a route in Grid Corps favor!

MD8 vs Ko-oren: The KayoDome (130,500) Kayo
Regarded as many to be the most beautiful stadium in the GLD, the KayoDome is a big attraction in downtown Kayo and home to the Globes. The curved pseudo-stained glass roof showing a view of Drawkland's area of Sonnel's globe is iconic. The Queen's standards in Kayo are high, so all the venues including the 'Dome feature top-notch amenities. This is another venue in a big city which has been dying to see the Grid Corps, so it got the biggest divisional opponent, Ko-oren.

MD9 vs Abanhfleft: Waxton City Dome (110,355) Waxton
The Jack Hoy Effect is reaching all-time high levels right now. Okay, maybe not, but the immortal national team running back has only increased in relevance over the years. With his departure/"retirement" from Ranoria and move to Banija's GFLB, he's once again making headlines. Many people expect a new edition of Jack Hoy's Football World to be announced any day now. Anyway, what better place to take advantage of this hype than his old home in Waxton? The Waxton Pilots were the first team to give Jack what he really wanted in the GLD: total prioritization, with a roster and scheme built to take advantage of his talents. They were rewarded with multiple championships before Hoy finally hit the road. This one plays host to Abanhfleft, who Hoy played regularly in his first few cycles with the Grid Corps.

MD11 vs Dhemixia: Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500) Sadeg
This was the first non-Metro, non-"neutral" venue to be announced for the schedule. Why did The Vet get such priority? And why is it being used to host a game against unranked Dhemixia? Well, Dhemixia's national team may be unranked, but history on the domestic soccer stage of The Outbox League has already created beef between Drawkian and Dhemixian sport fans. Don't even get us started on baseball, because that makes even less sense. DISC decided to take advantage of this by placing the Dhemixia game in Sadeg, where one of the TOL teams play. Jaffro has no pro-level gridiron stadium, Pittsennat's was taken, and the Drawk City venues would balk at being assigned a game against an unranked team despite the circumstances. The Vet came in clutch, as it often did.

MD12 vs Andso Mangis: Stad-Stallion (131,000) Raikennax
Raikennax is one of Drawkland's larger cities, and one with a great sports presence. Stad-Stallion is one of the more complimented stadiums in the league and has played host to several international tournament games (not just in gridiron football). It was a pretty easy selection to make once the logistics were ironed out. Unfortunately it only gets unranked Andso Mangis for the matchup, but it should be a good game regardless. Some astute (read: autistic) fans have noticed that the last three Drawkian home games are being held in Sadeg, Raikennax, and Akkor Beach. This also happens to be reverse order of Dustin Beck's GLD career, where he played for the Spartans, Stallions, and Gulls. What does it mean?!

by **Ranoria** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 8:19 pm

@KrautsCentralA win is a win is a win. Thank God this Kraig Celly guy seems to take after another Dhemixian coach, Craig Kelly. Is the owner of the Mineral Conference developing a coaching tree? #Krauts #ThePosessionPhilanthropist

@ZackMillsStraight from the elephant’s mouth: Commisioner Rolf Annelie has denied permission for Dante Flowers & Nick Singer to participate in World Bowl LI. It’s rare true rookies get on the field, and after the GFLB raided the pantry, he doesn’t want to risk talented young QBs. GM Germaine Elliot says they have contingency options they will pursue.

@WorldBowlCentelY’all too easy frl #GotEm

A Corner Past Midnight:
Rhine & Atkinson Combine For Five Interceptions, Krauts Defense Dominates

Now, based on Jerry Atkinson’s turnover prone play here at home, you’d probably think a Ranorian Football League defender laden defense would have largely dominated him. And they did! But to the Dhemixian’s credit, he actually only threw one interception - this one going to cornerback Akhello Volson. The other four?

Yeah. Diamond Rhine.

After the league office shut down the prospect of the team bringing on Nick Singer or Dante Flowers, it’s another week of suffering for Krauts fans. Everyone expected Kualu Luani, with all his trials, to finally get his big break and cap earn that World Bowl Championship belt as a starter. Instead, we get the sanitize heavy clean cycle version of Diamond Rhine. Not polished to perfection, but scratched, whittled away to a shadow of its former glory, and overall a tragedy to watch.

The former Buffalo star at least seemed to have some awareness of the playsheet in this one - he rarely reacted to the offensive line’s movements to guess whether it was a handoff or pass and at least seemed to be aware of the first progression. That said, the fact that it didn’t help his performance all that much is even more depressing. The Krauts’ only touchdowns of the day came on a. Ragnar Sampson breakaway run that saw him get the edge and take it to the house, and a Jannik Nadine curl that saw him ragdoll the defender off of him.

And all of a sudden, that tight win looks much less impressive - the Serpents have virtually collapsed since facing competition that manages to breathe air. Kinda like most of the players did at their Alma mater after leaving the safe confines of the Mineral Conference. “We’re not playing like a championship team right now,” star linebacker Najee Isidora said, “We’ve got to get better. It’s been said time and time again- the standard is gold, and we’re here to deliver just that.”

We’ll see if a new face under center a couple weeks from now changes things - veteran Johnny Green is reportedly leaving vacation to meet the staff in Ranoria City, but for now, we’ve got Deondre Rhine, who is typically seen either sitting alone or just with the quarterbacks coach on the sideline. The rest of the team seems to gravitate to wherever he isn’t, be it the very obvious blunt he tends to light between drives or just aversion. If he isn’t doing that, he’s usually pulling peanuts from his hand warmer - which is not needed in the climate controlled superfine - to feed his pet elephants Chewie.

But if Johnny Green - the quarterback who took over for Ballast Queen for the Nashville Sabercats until Jerry Atkinson sent him to the employment office - is your best option…are you better off just hoping Rhine finds any shred of his former glory?

by **Drawkland** » Thu Aug 14, 2025 8:30 pm

WORLD BOWL LI

Division logos for the Plexen Conference! Note: the car images were generated using Midjourney AI and edited for content.

Outbox Conference

## OUTBOX CONFERENCE     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Ko-oren                 8    7   1   174   81  +93
 2 Drawkland               8    6   2   228  117 +111
 3 Ranoria                 8    6   2   169   85  +84
 4 Valanora                8    5   3   187  156  +31
 5 Dhemixia                8    5   3   199  122  +77
 6 Rouyoute                8    4   4   223  157  +66
 7 Katzeburg               8    4   4   172  169   +3
 8 Natkr                   8    2   6   104  227 −123
 9 Abanhfleft              8    1   7   111  243 −132
10 Andso Mangis            8    0   8    82  292 −210

Plexen Conference

## PLEXEN CONFERENCE      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 TJUN-ia                  8    7   1   290  157 +133
 2 Chromatika               8    6   2   192   74 +118
 3 Cardenao                 8    6   2   176   90  +86
 4 Quebec and Shingoryeo    8    6   2   235  166  +69
 5 Delaclava                8    4   4   207  182  +25
 6 Terefuxe                 8    4   4   182  151  +31
 7 Sea Peoples League       8    3   5   119  268 −149
 8 The Golden Harp          8    2   6   174  247  −73
 9 Vaishnavaria             8    2   6   148  262 −114
10 Ophiuchus Region         8    0   8   136  262 −126

DrawkStar Conference

## DRAWKSTAR CONFERENCE            Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 South Newlandia                   8    7   1   194   72 +122
 2 Banija                            8    7   1   237  122 +115
 3 United States of Nova Calania     8    6   2   280  135 +145
 4 HUElavia                          8    5   3   211  184  +27
 5 Lisander                          8    4   4   126  197  −71
 6 The Kytler Peninsulae             8    4   4   165  128  +37
 7 New Portland Republic             8    2   6    83  207 −124
 8 Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador    8    2   6   104  212 −108
 9 Riandera                          8    2   6   113  171  −58
10 New Umoja                         8    1   7   150  235  −85

*Drawkland matches scorinated by Tumbra

by **United States of Nova Calania** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 8:23 am

Third win in a row

Following an easy 61-3 win against Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador, Nova Calania beat The Kytler Peninsulae and Lisander back to back to increase their winning streak to three games. On week 8, the Tapirs travelled to The Kytler Peninsulae and beat them 19-7. Nova Calania took the lead midway in the 1st quarter on a 35 yards field goal by Ji-yoo Han. The Tapirs increased their lead early in the 2nd quarter on a 12 yards passing touchdown from Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps to Rachel Lavigueur. The Kytler Peninsulae scored on a 16 yards rushing touchdown by Seilala Tumua. Nova Calania added 3 more points inside the two minutes warning and the score at halftime was 13-7. Nova Calania made a 31 yards field goal early in the 3rd quarter and a 22 yards field goal midway in the 4th quarter. The Final score was 19-7 Nova Calania.

Nova Calania kept playing on the road on week 9 when they travelled to Lisander and won 23-13. Nova Calania started off with the ball and Guillaume Bibeau-Babeux scored a 5 yards rushing touchdown on their 1st drive. Late in the 1st quarter, Lisander made a 29 yards field goal. The Tapirs answered immediately early in the 2nd quarter with a 45 yards field goal. On Lisander's next drive, Quarterback passes to Wide receiver 2 for 13 yards but he fumbles the ball and it's recovered at the 31 yards line in Lisander territory by Emma-Rose Bourguignon. Nova Calania followed with a 48 yards field goal on a 4th and 10. Quarterback threw a 28 yards passing touchdown to Wide Receiver 1 inside the two minutes warning and the score at halftime was 13-10 Nova Calania. Nova calania made a 38 yards field goal midway in the 3rd quarter. Lisander followed with a 33 yards field goal. Midway in the 4th quarter, Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps threw a screen pass to Guillaume Bibeau-Babeux who caught the ball and ran all the way to the end zone for a 36 yards touchdown. The final score was 23-13.

With 8 games played, Nova Calania has a 6-2 record and are still one game behind South Newlandia and Banija. HUElavia are just behind our back with a 5-3 record. On week 10, Nova Calania will be back home and will recieve Riandera at Stadion Yellow Black Army, named after the national colors of Odlegla Ziemia, a state within Nova Calania. On week 11, the Tapirs will travel to New Umoja, a nation located in Sonnel. Marc-Olivier Sanschagrin is out with a shoulder injury and François-Xavier Malboeuf is questionnable with an ankle sprain for MD10 and probable for MD11.

Jean-Alexandre Guindon

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 8:37 am

We've asked Vjainou Khweigun, instructor in Ko-orenite material culture from the Université Démocratique de Côte Austral, for commentary on the brief writeups about Ko-orenite culture that gained traction on social media in the past few weeks. We asked him if there were important details that were omitted, or if there was any other observation worth mentioning about the subject.

Vjainou: "It mentions all the big things and has a few examples: it's hard to get mad about what's written here. If you let me, there's two main points I'd like to say early on about these kinds of texts [...] namely, one, that it mentions visible and material things while also barely managing not to make broad sweeping statements about all of the unobservable things - which is also not my exact wheelhouse - and two, that it describes everything as if it's frozen in time: most of those traditions changed over time, and at one point it was very culturally significant, at which point it popped up in writings of the time, and we then base our understanding mostly on that single moment. It's always good to remember that all of those items were different over time and that they still persist."

"The biggest thing where you can see this is fashion, for example. There's a list of traditional clothing. Obviously you can't name every single item across every region across all of time - so it's a fine enough general summary - but focusing only on the wide-fitting trousers, a tunic, a sash, and a belt, really only gives you a good idea of the middle and upper class of the cities on the bay of about five-hundred years ago. Sure, it was hugely influential on what people outside of the bay wore in the years after that, and it did define a bit of a national idea of what we used to wear in the past, but it's also good to know that a century before that, it did look slightly different - the thing is, we really come to think of the belt-and-sash as 'our thing' but the sash was very much an urban invention from that era. And the patterns, not really named in the article, were probably even more emblematic of the time and place. The really bright colours became a thing after dyes from the south and east were incorporated, something that was really only possible around five centuries ago. The way I see it, the fact that Ko-oren entered an age of national trade right at the moment where the bay citizenry was so dominant, is the biggest reason for our perception."

"And maybe also good to remember is that clothing didn't stop evolving then, though now with culture spreading across the nation instead of just the region, there's some codification that happens. But uniforms of today very much found their inspiration there: school uniforms, company clothing, and folksy formalwear. And that further reinforces the idea that that is how we've always looked while going on our daily tasks, but I cannot stress enough on how that's just a coincidence. Had it been codified a century earlier, it would've been far less colourful, far more regional, and with a lot more accessory options."

"Another area where decisions in the past resonate in culture of today is music, which the article briefly mentions. It's the instruments of the dominant bay culture that permeates - and genres don't so much clash as they inspire one another. And instruments really weren't that tied down to size and tone. For instance, I have here two string instruments, something the article rightfully says we had fewer of than other places, sure, with this one being the kind of harp instrument in the article, but this one, that we have far more of in museums and collections, is strings across a fretboard where the idea is that the larger protruding strings on this side can be bowed and the rest can be hammered - so we did have the full experience of guitar-like instruments, and those really did have an effect on when guitars were introduced to Ko-oren. People then wouldn't have been very surprised to see them, they would've recognised what they were and what kind of sound they made."

"For cuisine, there's mostly contemporary examples where the rest is mostly historical, but that makes sense to an extent. It would be fun to see more of contemporary fashion, architecture, music, and pastimes in these kinds of things. And if not, I'd like to mention my first point again, where this is just the observable part of culture, and some theatre that has been written down, while all of the values and expectations, but also the approach to spare time and work, or family structures, go unmentioned. But that's well beyond what this article tried to do - and it would also require some broad strokes, I'm afraid. Balancing those two things is part of what makes work and studies at the UDCA interesting, if anyone hasn't decided on a major, by the way."

by **Chromatika** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 9:48 am

Legacy of the Firehawk
Momentum

Heading into the rematches against Quebec and Shingoryeo and Delaclava, there was a lot at stake for the Iron Legion. Having lost the road matches against the other two contenders from their Division, they simply had to defend home turf at the Henza Center; Sarai Gwenderyn was returning from injury to start for the first time in four matches, and the unit that knew that they had to step up more than anyone else was the Offensive Line, as the Quebecois and the Delaclavs had applied pressure consistently on the Chromatik Quarterback.

They managed to defend home turf as they rolled through the other two contenders rather comfortably, 36-20 against Quebec and Shingoryeo and 33-6 against Delaclava. Gwenderyn was pressured a grand total of five times in the two matches, while the running game averaged 130 yards - not a lot by other teams' standards, but rather good for the Iron Legion. The defense had a hiccup against the Quebecois, but held the Delaclavs without much issue.

Alessandra Mio shined with over 100 yards and a touchdown in each game, Gwenderyn had five touchdowns in the two games, and Chromatika never looked like it was out of control. Winning the time of possession game by more than five minutes in each game, they were performances that reminded all Chromatik fans exactly why they think they have a chance to make serious noise in this tournament.

"She looked stable, she looked mobile, and she looked ready to shine," Offensive Coordinator Naia Curentino spoke of her Quarterback, "She also avoided taking a lot of direct hits - shout out to the Offensive Line - and she stayed in rhythm. Hopefully, as she recovers even further, she'll get to add the running aspect of the game that makes her one of the best Quarterbacks in the multiverse, but it's great to have her back even as a pocket passer."

When asked about why it was this game that they had penciled to return Gwenderyn despite the quality of play that Vivayavich had showed during her absence, Curentino's response was that "When facing the best in the world, you have to field the best - and there is no Quarterback better on our roster than SMBG."

As for the offense staying in rhythm and establishing a running game that actually gave defenses a headache, Center Mikel Kingston admitted that the team had been struggling in that regard in the first six matches, but finally locked in. "We've had our best practices since getting together for the World Bowl lately, and the five of us are starting to truly gel. I think that our best is still to come, and we know that we're the unit that has to continually perform if we are to go far in this tournament."

How good has the defense been? Besides giving up a touchdown on the opening drive to the Quebecois, the Iron Legion forced three turnovers, stopped two fourth down conversions, and held two high-flying offenses in check.

The schedule won't get any easier - Terefuxe, TJUN-ia, and Cardenao await from the other division. Sure, there's also the two games against the bottom of this Division, but it's the matches against the best of the Luxury Division that will determine if the Iron Legion will be regarded as one of the best teams in the Plexen Conference.

It was definitely a step in the right direction - to remind the rest of the field that Chromatika is still here.

by **TJUN-ia** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 4:26 pm

After being shocked by the Sea Peoples League at home, the Jaguars of TJUN-ia were now at 5-1 - still the class of the Luxury Division and the Plexen Conference, but now blemished with an L before the 2nd phase of this schedule starts. With 7 games left, the Divisional crown is still within reach, and so too is the Conference one, but we still have plenty of work to do, and that cannot be understated at this point. Gus McKerrin knew he had more work to do, but what would happen next?

Reamatching with Cardenao after the tight game we played on MD1 was always going to be one of the biggest tests of this 2nd phase, but facing the Blue and Gold in Steve Valentine's backyard was expected to be the tougher one. Everyone knew that this one was going to be tough one to navigate all things considered, but the hope was that our dignity would remain intact at 0:00 - and that did happen. In fact, we held Bobby Dials to only 2 TDs. Faith Okobi and Jason Tyrell became pests in this game, and the defensive effort allowed our offence as much time as they needed to go ahead and win this game. Moses Igbinoghene managed 4 TDs, including two and a 2PC to Yurilka Zelinskaya, to secure a massive 29-12 win against the World #1 on the road. 2-0 against the top seed. Statement made.

Of the Golden Harp were next to host us and yeah, we did it again. Sure, we conceded 26 points to the #27, but in the end, that didn't even fucking matter. We got 43 points, 5 TDs from Igbinoghene and 1 from Alisha Obi Michel, and that was just a good day overall.

7-1 overall, ahead by a game in both Division and Conference. Let's just say things are looking pretty good right now but with five games to go, we cannot rest on our laurels just yet. Two completely different Cross-Divisional games are coming up, with 0-8 Ophiuchus Region hosting us while the Sport Division leaders Chromatika host a sort of homecoming in New Washington.
Big games on the way...
GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Plexen Conference, Luxury Division)
MD1: vs Cardenao (1) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 20-12 (1-0)
MD2: vs Of the Golden Harp (27) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 47-13 (2-0)
MD3: @Delaclava (17) (CD) - Eagles Stadium, Manchester W 39-30 (3-0)
MD4: vs Vaishnavaria (37) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 49-12 (4-0)
MD5: BYE
MD6: @Terefuxe (25) W 50-26 (5-0)
MD7: vs Sea Peoples League (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington L 13-26 (5-1)
MD8: @Cardenao (1) W 29-12 (6-1)
MD9: @Of the Golden Harp (27) W 43-26 (7-1)
MD10: @Ophiuchus Region (UR) (CD)
MD11: vs Chromatika (7) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD12: vs Terefuxe (25) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD13: vs Quebec and Shingoryeo (10) (CD) - Plexen Stadium, Pittsennat (Neutral)
MD14: @Sea Peoples League (UR)

by **South Newlandia** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 5:33 pm

A minute and thirty-two seconds on the clock. No timeouts, starting on their own 25. A chance for a legacy defining drive for Scott Yadav.

Minutes earlier, the South Newlandian defense had successfully forced the Banijan offense to kick another field goal, thanks to a crucial third down incompletion that Batte couldn’t quite come down with, facing great coverage from Alani Sörens. Pili Kijeera had been money from 38 yards out – both field goal kickers were busy and still perfect on this day, recording the only points so far in a 12-6 game, with Banija leading in Busukuma. Still, a touchdown would likely deliver victory for the Ellies – and not just that. With the Dragonflies losing earlier today and the standings being what they were, a win here would see the Ellies as the last 7-0 team and make them heavy favourites to win the DrawkStar conference, potentially sending the Pachyderms to the Quarterfinals. This is the drive that defines a legacy.

Without any timeouts, both South Newlandia and Banija knew that the Ellies would lean heavily on the arm of Scott Yadav. After a recent run of strong performances, he was still looking for a touchdown pass in this game, but had gone for 179 yards already with just one interception – a pretty solid result against a stifling Banijan defense in a raucous Stadium of the Restoration.

Yadav managed to find van Halfensen on first down for seven yards, and a bubble screen to Conti managed to get the Ellies near midfield quickly, with still over a minute remaining on the clock. Unfortunately, Scott Yadav has an arm strength best described as “Drawkland in the IAC final”, so a hail mary from this distance wasn’t really on the cards. They’d need to get a couple more first downs to even have a chance.

The Banijan team, coming in well-rested off a bye into this game, had uncharacteristically struggled. Serpent Eagle signal caller Odika had not yet scored a touchdown, but had been relatively effective at moving the ball – except for two costly turnovers, one of which set up a short Ellies FG and the other killed the deepest drive the Banijans had had in the red zone.

After two incompletions, Yadav gave it to Fantikos on a checkdown that came just shy of giving the Elephants a fresh set of downs. Unable to spike it, either, they lost precious seconds off their clock, but eventually kept the game alive when Fantikos ploughed through the middle of the Banijan defense. Still, the seconds kept draining.

A lot of players on the Elephants’ defense had stepped up lately. It had now been more than two full games since they’d allowed a touchdown, and they’d get a shutout in their next one, too, making them temporarily the best defense in the entire WB by points allowed – ahead of defensive powerhouses Chromatika, Ranoria and Ko-oren. The rookies stepping up had a huge impact - Lennard Thompson in particular had been a monster lately, already closing in on double-digit sacks early in the WB campaign, and Victorino managed to put together a unit that had far exceeded the sum of its parts.

Another incompletion followed before Schlachter managed to beat Tembo on the sideline, gaining a step on the Banijan corner. With safety help slow to arrive, a perfect pass could have delivered the Elephants a late go-ahead TD, but Yadav couldn’t connect with his star receiver – the ball was underthrown, allowing Tembo to break up the pass and set up third down. Yadav found van Halfensen for a short pickup, but the Elephants now found themselves with 4th and 4 from the Banijan 36. Ordinarily, this would be a tough but makable field goal for Nicolo Lorenz, who’d hit an even dozen of those in the last three games, but only a touchdown would do here.

Yadav took the snap in shotgun, trying to read the Banijan defense but not coming up with much; the first read on the play was van Halfensen running a slant to his right, but Lucius Agot had the veteran TE smothered up. All three wideouts appeared stifled, too, so Yadav took the principled option by choosing Fantikos, just behind the line of scrimmage, hoping that the ancient Ellies halfback could somehow evade Banijan youngster Batte Nteza. The Staramara grad linebacker, ten years younger than the Elephant who’d need to somehow get by him, had little trouble wrapping him up for the game-winning tackle. Scott Yadav had come up short on what could have been a defining drive, and the Pachyderms had been dealt their first loss of the campaign – far later than expected, but still missing a chance to set themselves up in the DrawkStar conference.

by **Katzeburg** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 6:10 pm

OPEN-TOP BUS PARADE ROLLS THROUGH ABERSEE AS WILDCATS HANG BANNER FOR GOLDEN BOWL SUCCESS

By Richard Rider

With a playoff appearance in the World Bowl about as likely as Paint Drying’s Wolsten family holding a gathering that doesn’t have someone brutally killed off during it, the Katzeburgian Wildcats decided to take the Bye week to celebrate the side’s incredible lifting of the Golden Bowl with a 35-32 win over Valanora on Matchday Six.

For those unaware, the Golden Bowl is one of the most prestigious trophies in multiversal football, being passed on in a direct line from the very first World Bowl some 51 editions ago (barring a few nations which would win the trophy, only to vanish into the void never to be heard from again) - therefore it could stand to reason, at least to the journalists behind this esteemed publication, that whichever nation holds the Golden Bowl are basically the current world champions.

Of course, with the Wildcats' shock win over Valanora, this meant that for a very brief window of time the side would be regarded as the world’s best; a claim they would somehow defend with a third straight win in a row when the side knocked over Natkr on Matchday Seven.

“While many of us on campus were excited to take on this mysterious bye team, I guess it was better for us to take a week to rest and instead celebrate the fact that we are basically the best team in the world,” said UoA maths student Robert Brobbington. “After all, this might be the only actually accolade our football team ever receives; it would be stupid not to celebrate it now!”

And celebrate the team would do; with the Awful School Up the road (ASU) electing to milk the world champion status for all it would be worth during the Bye week, splashing the barins to organise an open-top bus parade through the centre of Abersee celebrating the team’s holding of a linear trophy which most nations will manage to fall ass-backwards into holding at least once in their history.

The parade took most of the day prior to the team’s clash against Ranoria on Matchday Eight, leaving from City Hall shortly after midday and weaving through the city’s main business district and campus grounds before arriving at Aberstadt Stadium at 6pm. Tens of fans lined the streets over and over again to catch a glimpse of the record-setting team, with more people actually on the open-top bus itself than lining the streets watching the parade.

“To be perfectly honest with you, I had no idea before we won the Golden Bowl that it was even a thing which existed,” Coach Cameron Sydney told The Lampoon during the parade. “But why not take a moment to celebrate a historic achievement? Even if we go out and lose it against Ranoria, we’ve still not only won it once, but defended it successfully - the fact it has hit at the peak of one of our best ever winning runs in the team’s history is just another sign that we are still making progress as a team and it can only be up from here.”

The parade preceded an official presentation from ASU faculty staff at Aberstadt Stadium, where the athletics department would unveil two large-scale banners highlighting the team’s Golden Bowl success.

“This is a fantastic achievement in the history of this national team and the sport itself in Katzeburg,” ASU Athletic Director Jock Jammings said at the unveiling. “I’d be amazed if we ever end up adding to these banners, but for now why wouldn’t we celebrate this historic moment as much as we can?”

The Wildcats would of course, immediately go and lose control of the Golden Bowl right after celebrating their success - falling 27-3 to Ranoria in a result which leaves the side in seventh in the Outbox Conference with four wins and four losses. But while their grasp on the Bowl has loosened, it hasn’t stopped the public from noticing the strength of the nation in the sport.

“I’ve already bought four copies of the DVD about our historic run,” video store owner Jason Spoonenmeir told us. “Just seeing that historic thrashing of Natkr which ensured we would at least defend the title we somehow stole from Valanora brings me to tears every single time; I watch it before I go to bed every evening just to feel something.”

But it’s not all positive emotions being shared about the side’s performances at the moment, with the bookmakers outside Borchard Hall projecting the side to lose out the rest of their schedule to end at 4-9. Amongst those games is a guaranteed loss against a Valanora side out for revenge in Valanora, in what many are projecting is a game where “the side will be beat down in a manner rarely seen unless you are Andso Mangis against Rouyoute.”

Rather hilariously, Katzeburg next take on Andso Mangis at Aberstadt Stadium before travelling to face Rouyoute in a pair of matches many are tipping could go either way, especially the game against a Rouyoute side which could either drop 100+ points on the Wildcats or lay a big egg and see the game decided on the sicko method of kicking.

by **HUElavia** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 7:17 pm

This Team Is Hungry!

At the halfway point of the World Bowl, HUElavia has shown some solid performances with some vulnerabilities.

Well, it's truly been a World Bowl so far. HUElavia are showing that while they are doing pretty well and recovering since the infamous World Bowl 48 run, they still got plenty of things to improve and work on to get back to be among the very best nations in Gridiron Football in the Multiverse. Thus, the tournament hasn't been really bad so far!

The team opened Matchday 1 with the Neutral Venue game at Capital Stadium in Panua Caru, Drawkland, which saw HUElavia win in a convincing performance of 37-20 over New Umoja, which saw Uchechy go for 280 yards and 2 TDs, while Uche ran for 215 Yards and 2 TDs as well, with Schulz sending a 60 yard field goal bomb, among the highlights. Matchday 2 saw the home opener at Estadio Capital in Curumba, as HUElavia pulled an upset victory over The Kytler Peninsulae with a 36-24 dominating victory, with Uchechy throwing for 3 TDs, including a spectacular one-handed catch by Hase for a touchdown. The third matchday saw HUElavia back at home, but this time being humbled by South Newlandia in a 33-23 loss which saw another 2 TDs for Uchechy, but with 2 INTs to his name.

Matchday 4 saw HUElavia play their first away game against powerhouse Banija, whom the Banijan press called the HUElavia game "A big game," which some HUElavians felt it wasn't that way, given the disparity between the teams. Uchechy threw for 3 INTs and fumbled twice, that not even back up of Santander could salvage the team in a humiliating 49-14 defeat, the 2nd worst loss in the National Team's history. Matchday 5 saw a very gritty and difficult game, where the heavy rain made it difficult for HUElavia and Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador to get passes in the air, only going for mainly runs, as Schulz would score the four field goals Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos needed to secure the 12-9 away victory.

Back at home for a double-header set of Matchdays, Matchday 6 saw HUElavia take another upset victory, this time United States of Nova Calania in a 50-27 beatdown, the largest margin of victory up to now, where Uchechy got 3 TDs, as well as 2 TDs for Uche, all while two pick-6s from Weinberger and Talatala would give Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos a much needed victory. For matchday 7, HUElavia did suffocate and once again prevented any touchdowns from being scored, as they won 27–6 over Lisander, with once more a highlight of Oogami getting a pick-6 late in the game.

After the bye on Matchday 8, HUElavia visited The Kytler Peninsulae, and conceded a late touchdown to drop the game, 16-12, which ended the good run the team was getting. Up to now, it's been mainly ups, but some downs, as HUElavia sits with a 5-3 record just past halfway into the Group Stage.

In the Larry Whitaker Division, United States of Nova Calania leads with the 6-2 record, but HUElavia are right on their tails with their 5-3 record, Lisander and The Kytler Peninsulae duking it out with 4-4 records each, all while Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador have a 2-6 record. In the Jack Hoy Division, South Newlandia and Banija are in their own league, as they each command a 7-1 record, New Portland Republic and Riandera have a 2-6 record, and New Umoja has a 1-7 record. Thus, in the conference, South Newlandia has a 7-1 record, followed by Banija with 7-1 as well, United States of Nova Calania with 6-2 and HUElavia with 5-3.

HUElavia are hoping that the next two games against New Portland Republic at home and Riandera away will serve as a great opportunity for the team to get much needed victories before taking on Nova Calania on Matchday 12 in what may very well be the fight for the Division Lead. 5 games to go in what is a push for the playoffs and one can only take it a game at a time.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 7:51 pm

Four Weddings and a Funeral

PART 2.3 - MARIUS - The Ride

‘I hope this won’t be so much of a hassle, at least compared to the last wedding we went to,’ Patricia lightly quipped at Marius, as she slowly drove down a rural road that winded down from the Haucks’ countryside property outside of Sutton Forest on her Magnus MG350 sedan. It was the day before the royal wedding, and the nature of this occasion, combined with Patricia (and subsequently Marius) spending most of summer there, had meant that they they were behind the schedule. ‘It’s going to be fun, sure, but you always know this goes.’

‘For real,’ was all that Marius responded. Marius, who tried his best not to think too hard about this ordeal, closed his eyes while wearing his sunglasses, his right hand firmly clinched to the window sill of the passenger door. ‘Sorry I keep dragging you into this.’

He’s had plenty of experiences with weddings, of course, but none that was going to be this busy as the first royal wedding of this scale since 2044. His father and grandparents, of course, were present at the wedding of Christine II and HRH Caspian of Cassadaigua. The event itself, which brought over two million to the nation’s capital, saw so much traffic that a monthlong traffic plan had to be established to reduce just the ten percent of the expected traffic grid. Keep in mind, just for a chance at reducing ten percent of the anticipated (and eventually materialised) traffic. While nobody had expected a repeat of such numbers, considering the slow change of times and people’s views with pomp and circumstance, public appetite for such an event never came close to going away.

Thus, it was still reasonable to assume that yes, finding a comfortable parking spot in any corner of Joongyeong would require an act of divine intervention for the full week of the Royal Wedding. So for both Marius and Patricia, an easy compromise was made to bring minimum to the Pineau Kims’ suite at Hotel Plaza Pomene, four, long blocks away from the Sandringham Abbey, and just pick up their clothes at their suite. Right now, simpler fares were for their three-hour way there as Patricia was wearing a simple, indigo wool sweater above a dark dress pants, while Marius wore a pale polo shirt on top of jeans. Latter which would get a glare from grandmother, but either which would pass at the Quigley-Kim Farm back in Hills of Madeleine.

‘An invite’s an invite. We'll make the best and the worst of it either way,’ Patricia answered, trying to find a more positive light into it. Not that Patricia was particularly enthused about the possibility of attending such a function - especially not with how the nature of two-hour, Anglican ceremonies in an abbey of three thousand people can be frustrating in a sensorial sense - but she knew that you never know what you could get from a rare opportunity like this could bring. Pat, being an early-career academic, had the virtues of her dissertation being a contentious topic for a solid month that landed her a publishing contract a couple of years ago now. While that had nothing to do with the Kims, who would have preferred somebody more insider than Patricia, half the academic life at St. Croix involved student life and subsequently, networking, so that it just made sense for them to not miss the occasion.

The rural roads that wound out of the Haucks weren’t particularly difficult to navigate, they were mostly gliding along the rolling hills that defined the southern half of the so-called Shingoryeoite Midlands, but it was only the first five mile of the much longer, 55-mile route that they were to travel to Joongyeong. But both Marius and Patricia also being used to the drive helped as well. Marius, unlike his father or even grandfather, grew up mostly on a farm and was used to seeing clear, flat plains while Pat had the fortune her father, a former stockbroker, bought the right land at the right time and spent much of his days gardening following his wife’s passing ten years ago. Perhaps that was why Pat, who grew up looking at the greeneries bordering the gardens, shared the timidity and the bloom of a hillside flower.

----

Marius’s suit, a court uniform that his grandfather, Arsene Pineau Kim used to wear at Trinity and then Tricentennial, looked very oversized on top of their bed at the Hotel de Pomene. With all its buttons, dark colours, and the familiar cigar smell of his addiction, it’s certainly his. While he tried his best to ignore as many ties to the former Prime Minister, a former squash national team star while at Trinity, there were enough resemblances in status and facial features that were enough for some to ask him.

‘You run away, we keep coming back, won't it?’ Patricia joked on the other side of the bedroom, as she quietly put on a pair of golden earrings shaped to a 7th-century incense burner. ‘It never gets easy.’ This, for what it’s worth, was true. Those remotely familiar with the discourse surrounding Pat, her research and misogynistic responses by some quadrants of the society, would notice that she’s the one to watch with continuous media engagements, academic offers and a publishing contract. There was little doubt that with how impactful said start has been, Dr. Hauck’s academic career was going to be set for years to come, in ways reminiscent of Marius’s Acadianan grandparents.

But this was also Quebec and Shingoryeo, a surprisingly classist society that’s bound very little to none on ethnic grounds, but more status and even linguistic grounds. While Marius was fourth-generation at best on those grounds, being a Kim and also a Casavant carried enough that the public that more often than not, he’s been a convenient beneficiary of unspoken privilege. Those that enabled easier filing of trust on him….

Or at least that’s what he’s gotten off a 15-minute phone interview with the QFL Office.

‘Wish we’d rather just lie at Noel’s garden,’ said Marius. ‘Nobody likes being a flower of comforts, which is basically all this.’

‘Oh, you,’ Patricia answered on the other side, as Marius turned around to look back at her. Patricia, to no doubt, was a beautiful woman, one of character. Wearing a simple, brown dress that served very well for the occasion, Patricia certainly put much-needed paint stroke into the cooler, marble walls of their 1910s, Fourth Alexandrian room that’s stood the test for the past 150 years. ‘Is the old man coming to dinner?’

‘He should be. Mam’s driving, and it’s been made clear they would both come,’ he said. This, while seemingly expected for a normal couple, was increasingly a harder task for his parents. His father, known essayist and ecrivain Marcel, had trouble moving for most of Marius’s memories,meaning that what used to be monthly travels outside of town became rarer and rare over time, and less in public until he’s mostly unable to leave unless with Marina. ‘They love you anyway. It will be okay.’

by **Dhemixia** » Sat Aug 16, 2025 10:11 pm

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
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Get the forks back out while you still can

Schedule

blue matchups are at home
yellow matchups are neutral site
~~MD1: vs. Natkr~~ W 36-0 (1st)
~~MD2: vs. Andso Mangis~~ W 39-10 (1st)
~~MD3: vs. Rouyoute~~ W 32-13 (1st)
~~MD4: @ Abanhfleft~~ W 15-13 (1st)
~~MD5: vs. Katzeburg~~ L 17-20 (1st)
~~MD6: vs. Ranoria~~ L 14-17 (3rd)
~~MD7: @ Valanora~~ L 43-16 (6th)
~~MD8: @ Natkr~~ W 30-6 (5th)
~~MD9: BYE~~ (5th)
MD10: vs. Ko-oren
MD11: @ Drawkland
MD12: @ Ranoria
MD13: @ Katzeburg
MD14: vs. Valanora

The grace period is over for the Dhemixian National Team.

The last 5 MDs will be a daunting task to get through, and it's almost a boss rush of sorts with the types of teams they're playing.

This will be their day of reckoning. This is their last stand. This is their kingdom come. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. You might as well pick a deity and pray, because a higher power is the only thing that will show you mercy anymore.

The fact they even got to this situation is depressing, considering the Serpents almost certainly could have avoided a do-or-die ending to conference play, in which they'll probably die anyways. They sit at 5-3, in third place of their own division behind Valanora and Ranoria (both of which have H2H over them and are 2/3 teams to beat them this WB) meaning the Dhemixians either have to pull something out of their hat and upset a quality team, highly unlikely given their performance thus far, or watch as their position on the doorstep of the knockouts slowly and agonizingly fades into oblivion alongside any notion that they weren't frauds, much like the fate of UCP in NSCF 33. This isn't exactly the worst-case scenario, but it's pretty close to it if you ask me, considering they dropped crucial games to both Katzeburg (of whom is 4th in their division) and a then-ice cold Ranoria (leading the division currently). The only saving grace to the Dhemixian run so far has been the Serpents not selling the bag against Natkr away and crashing out of the tournament after that point, but beyond that, the situation is still pretty dire. Craig Kelly went for a concerningly little amount of fourth down tries as compared to his usual, shown by the equal ratio of touchdowns and not all that long field goals being converted by Sam Gustafsson. Either way Jerry Atkinson was still balling, as he does, and the defense finally showed up (albeit against Natkr, the same opponent they warned to celebrate successes against because it wasn't that much of an achievement, but even then, this is still an achievement for a beyond-poor Dhemixia defensive side of the ball), having their momentum immediately squashed entering the bye week. Despite the fact that they were 5th in the conference and actively not advancing to the knockouts, the boys still got absolutely HAMMERED on the bye MD and immensely regretted it the next morning. As an unranked team, the Dhemixians probably weren't making the playoffs anyways, so you gotta take your victories where you can.

And so, thus begins the beginning of the end for the Dhemixians and their playoff hopes. The average rank of all 5 teams left to play is 9.2, which means they're effectively facing a top 10 team every single MD of the group stage that's left. This is pretty much exactly what would unfold if UC-Prairie moved to a non-fraudference like the Horizon or Celestia (the big eight has been demoted from the contender conference coalition). The most recent instance in which they played a top 10 team (@ Valanora MD7), the Serpents lost by 27 and we didn't even bother providing a scoring summary. Effectively, the goal is to lose every game left by less than 27. In a perfect world, the Serpents go 2-3 with wins over Ranoria and Katzeburg to salvage a 7-6 record and maybe make the 4th spot in the conference? It's just not gonna happen at this point when the goal is losing by less than 27, so you might as well go ahead and stick the forks back into the corneas. It'll only hurt for a while, but it will prevent so much more pain happening from watching Dhemixian football with Craig Kelly on the sideline. I would say we'll see what happens on MD10 and 11, if these claims are actually warranted, but it turns out you don't even have to see what happens. Unfortunately, even if you did want to watch 5 straight Serpents losses, you couldn't anyways. With how they bring their soccer strategy to life on the gridiron, sandbags, machine gun batteries, and all surrounding the endzone, don't be surprised if the Dhemixians get shut out against Ko-oren as the game winner to yet another 3-0 finish is a field goal with 11 minutes left in the second quarter. Even known frauds and low-skill teams like Drawkland will still destroy the Dhemixians at this point, and they will no doubt be booed entering the little old shed named Spartan Veteran Stadium in Sadeg. It may or may not have almost double the capacity of Brigantine Park, if not over, but because of how Jerry Atkinson is just him and how UCP owns Sadeg State, you have to trust the process here if you want a shot. Regardless, the rest are still going to be a slaughter for Dhemixia. Forks were invented for a reason, and there's no better time than right now if you want to preserve your happiness and mental state.

by **Ranoria** » Sun Aug 17, 2025 1:36 am

RFL League Offices
Ranoria City, Ranoria

Rolf Annelie was a known functional alcoholic.

But what isn't so known, is that functional alcoholics have their limits.

The commissioner of Ranoria's professional football league laid sprawled out on his desk, dilated eyes watching his ceiling fan gently wash cool air across the room. His suit jacket had been forgotten atop a couch across the room, one hand hanging limp off the table while the other fidgeted with the glass of whiskey he was telling himself he might cut off with.

"Sideshow," he announced to the empty room. Well, except his assistant, but he was pretty sure he was part of the room, "We're a sideshow."

He sat up just enough to bring the glass to his lips, the collapsed back down, wishing he could sink into the glass as his head turned, limp, towards his main computer screen.

RYLAN RODGERS JR TO JOIN HOY IN BANIJA - GFLB ASSERTS ITSELF AS TOP PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE IN THE WORLD

His free hand came down onto the glass table as he guided the cursor with his finger onto a shortcut folder labeled "motivation."

Valliente Wagner-Young and Russell Farmer commiting to the GFLB draft.

Diamond Rhine signing with Bwunzaba.

And hell, Bobby Dials has been none to clear about his desire to head out after year five in Pittsburgh.

"Bastards," he managed to sit up, grabbing onto the back of his chair to steady himself as his matted, silver hair lay flat against his forehead, and his eyes slowly turned across the room to the day he'd circled in red.

The start of the negotiations with the Football Union of Ranoria for the upcoming collective bargaining agreement.

If the GFLB wanted to play hardball, he could play hardball. And the union was about to find out exactly what that looked like after decades of his ceding to their demands.

Regularly Scheduled Programming:
Rhine Improves, Defense Locks In, Krauts Win Fpur Straight

Pass rusher Julian Anneliese led the charge against Valanora with a pair of sacks and a pass deflection

It's been far from a banner year for the defending champions through eight contests, but the Krauts are back in the win column. Ever since their 24-3 collapse against Rouyoute, Ranoria's been unscathed. Tight wins over Natkr and Dhemixia turned into the start of a four game win streak, highlighted of course by a convincing 30-7 victory over Valanora in the Superdome and then immedietely seizing the Golden Bowl back from Katzeburg.

"Really wanna put some distance between ourselves and Banija with that," head coach Isaac Dieter said, "Good to have it back where it belongs."

Ranoria's not a team to celebrate four straight wins - it's more the standard. But after the rocky start and the absolute hell this team has put up with at quarterback, it's a catharsis. Fans were starting to clamor about potentially missing the playoffs - but why? Deondre Rhine may be old, but people are quick to forget he's likely the most talented quarterback Ranoria's ever seen, not that there's a particularly long list on that front. The geriatric passer held his own pretty well despite an abysmal start against Valanora and Katzeburg, totaling three touchdown passes and just two interceptions while averaging 203.5 passing yards per game over that stretch.

The solution? A quicker, tempo based passing game.

"I didn't even realize when I was younger, some of these dudes hit pretty hard," Deondre Rhine admitted at the postgame presser, "So while I was absolutely soaking in the ice bath, Coach Dieter proposed that we try and rely on the quick game more. I'm cool with that I figure, one thing I can't get my hands on is a good subscription for painkillers, so fewer hits? That's huge."

Rhine's been far from dominant - but with him at least looking for slants and easier completions more, he seems to be avoiding the completely spontaneous throws down the field to no one in the right colors that cost Ranorian citizens an estimated thirty seven thousand RDCT in television replacements over the past month. Leveraging big Jannik Nadine and Demeco Burns to frame away defenders on quick outs and slants has at least given the Krauts some vestige of a passing attack, enough to move the chains when the run game can't, and that means the defense stays fresh. Julian Anneliese has been the biggest benefactor there - the former Richardson defensive end plays with a violent fervor, and more time to catch his breath means more effective snaps.

He's racked up four sacks in this World Bowl - with half of those coming in the rematch against Valanora. Two first half, third down sacks helped build the team's early lead and a fourth-down pass deflection in the second half was the start of the team really putting away the World Bowl's rising star. Having played second fiddle to Gideon Kearse his entire tenure, it's nice to see the veteran in his own right shining on the big stage.

At 4-2, Ranoria winning the group is basically out of the question - but if they keep up their current trajectory, they'll make it into the playoffs. And if Diamond Rhine makes the postseason, well, the 2x NSCF and Winter Bowl Champion might just have the motivation to make a push for the highest aspiration in professional football.

by **Valanora** » Sun Aug 17, 2025 2:59 pm

Valanora Times
Celestia Preview

Last week we covered the Heartlands Conference of the Silver Star League, the renamed Vanorian Gridiron League for those unaware, with the general consensus that there is four teams in the conference who look to be competing for the conference crown in the upcoming season. Winning the conference earns the team a berth into the Silver Star Cup, the championship game of the league, against the winner of the Celestial Conference. The make up of the Heartlands Conference primarily consists of teams in the lands that originally made up the old Inner and Outer Kingdoms on the Vanorian mainland, primarly those cities and regions around the central deep woods at the heart of the nation. The Celestial sees us move away from the core of the Empire and towards its peripheries, to where the Empire has expanded out towards over the last few hundred years, including but not limited to the island sub-continent of Sabine and Caddonia. It is a conference that has shown a bit more parity in the most two seasons of the league's existence with two different conference champions, yet both would go on to win the championship game.

Unlike the Heartlands that sees only four teams of the eight who can be considered among the mix for a real chance of winning the conference, the Celestial has six of its eight teams that under the right conditions could be playing for a title game three months on from now. The most obvious choice there will of course be the current league holders in Enyenora Rogues, who marched to an impressive twelve and two conference record to finish three games ahead of anyone else and then went on to comfortably win the title game. A prolific offense that is lead by veteran quarterback and former Sabres starter Håkon Schau, who is protected by star lineman Oliver Sandberg and Roni Bergström, both of whom are on the national team roster. While Schau might be the most stereotypical quarterback in the Empire, he knows how to win and has a cannon of an arm, leading the Rogues to the best offense by some distance and why they were able to win in the title game. The defense does a great job of bending but not breaking, showing resiliency when it matters the most, even if you can get a drive going against them. However with a person who knows how to win under center and perhaps the best offensive line in the league, it is hard to bet against them not being the conference winners once more.

If they do not it is because the conference is stacked head to toe with good teams as the trio of Coral Bay Thunderhawks, Kenmore Hills Drakes, and Caddo Warriors all stand a fairly good shot of dethroning the champions in their own conference. The Thunderhawks are built in a similar vein to the Rogues but have less talent, particularly on the defensive side of the ball. Where Enyenora might be able to hold opposing teams to field goals, Coral Bay will give up touchdowns nor get the key stops needed to shut down drives and momentum. They do have though Max Strömberg at wideout and a trio of lineman who start for the national team, which means that offense can pop off at a moments notice, particularly if there is a bad matchup out wide against Strömberg. The Kenmore Hills Drakes are another gifted offensive team, however they score so fast and frequently that it comes at a detriment to their defense who never really get chances to rest and come off the field, giving up a lot of points as a result. That does not look like it is going to change much with the highly prized Storm Dybvik being signed out of college to add to their already explosive offense, even if the defense is what might have wanted some more reinforcements for the upcoming season.

Further afield in the chase but with an outside chance of causing a stir will be Caethserir Waveriders, though both them and Morren Shaeras Fury do not seem to play well when up against other top level competition, usually by quite large margins when those games come about. It certainly skews their point differential and points given up and makes their units look worse than they truly are, yet if they can not compete with the best at a consistent level the chances of them pulling a surprise conference title bag seems slim. The Warriors though, they just might do it with a fairly well rounded team and a feeling that they left some wins on the gridiron last season that could have seen them further up the table. If Caddo can close out games better and get another result or two from their road trips, a glaring weakness for many teams in the league, then they might just sneak up on a few teams this season. Neither Bexar nor Vaharia look likely to do so, both rooted to the bottom of the table last season with identical three and eleven records with no moves that signal any expected changes from them during the offseason.

by **Drawkland** » Sun Aug 17, 2025 7:05 pm

"The Awards Ceremony"

The night came a couple weeks later. Originally Brooklyn wanted to wear a dress with a Sadeg State goldenrod type color, like she wore to her graduation party. The more she thought about it, though, the more she felt that she didn’t want to stand out at the event. A tasteful shade of State navy blue was much better for this purpose. It also matched her blue highlight, which was starting to fade into a lighter shade.

“I still can’t believe you dyed your hair,” Dustin muttered in the hotel room that the Becks were sharing. He looked upon his daughter with a critical eye as she put the finishing touches on her makeup alongside her mother at the vanity mirror.

“Dustin,” Elie said with a warning tone. She knew Brooklyn was going to be in a mood for this night anyway, she didn’t need her husband poking their daughter’s buttons to make it worse.

“What? I’m just saying.” Dustin shook his head. “Not a great look for a formal event anyway.”

“I wasn’t exactly thinking straight when I did it,” Brooklyn admitted, jaw slightly agape as she applied her mascara. “But whatever. Nobody’s going to pay attention to me tonight anyway, except maybe to laugh at my expense.”

“Oh, come on BB.” Dustin lightened his tone a little. “It’s an honor just to be there.”

“I’ve only heard that forty-seven times since I got the news. Doesn’t make it less dumb.”

“You know, I never got nominated for any awards in my two seasons. You’ve got that over me!”

“You also have two playoff appearances. No chance of me matching that now,” Brooklyn replied flatly.

“You could still match me in conference championships! And I only got the one playoff win.” Dustin stepped into the bathroom, placing a hopefully encouraging hand on Brooklyn’s shoulder. “You’ve still got one more shot. Just look at what, ah, that other school did this year. All it takes is one good hot streak.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Brooklyn replied automatically. She wasn’t yet sure if she was being sincere.

Brooklyn, the Becks, and the rest of her entourage had booked nights at one of the several hotels in the Centivar County Complex, just a few minutes away from Pellson Auditorium. That was the location of the NSCF Awards Ceremony due to nearby Seven Stars Stadium hosting the NSCF Championship Game a few weeks earlier. That was another reason Brooklyn couldn’t really skip the event. It was literally a few hours away. She didn’t even have to fly there (though the Becks did, to save time).

It was a closed event, only to the nominees, their guests, and select NSCF alumni and media members. That didn’t seem to deter the noticeably large contingent of Cavsar fans milling around outside. The Complex wasn’t just home to Grand Gate Park which contained Seven Stars Stadium and Millennium Arena. The larger facility contained a convention center with smaller venues such as Pellson Auditorium, a large shopping mall, and an amusement park to-be currently under construction. Perhaps the Gladiator Faithful nearby happened to pick this day to shop in Centivar County, hoping to catch a glimpse at their heroes.

Brooklyn was not one of those heroes. She didn’t see a single piece of Sadeg State merch being worn. Not that there needed to be, but it served as a stark contrast to the sheer presence of the Cavsar fanbase. It did little to improve her mood as they drove to the theater where the award ceremony was held. Thankfully nobody mentioned it out loud.

Once the Becks were inside the Auditorium and Brooklyn’s teammates arrived, she opened up a bit. Brooklyn was still living in an apartment with Grace Robbins, so she saw her rather frequently, but that didn’t stop the two from having some conversation while the rest of the attendees gradually filed into the auditorium. The other teammates at Brooklyn’s table joined in, and eventually a conversation about the PBL season got started, and everybody got wrapped into that.

With the conversation flowing around Brooklyn, she receded for a moment and looked around the auditorium. It was designed for fancy events like this, with an elevated stage above a flat floor for tables, and an upper deck with traditional theater seating above. Brooklyn’s eyes wandered, looking at the collection of NSCF athletes and their guests socializing at other tables. Her eyes finally fell upon Julian Gallagher’s table. She saw her former high school teammate laughing heartily, and slowly panned across the rest of the table. Julian wasn’t the only North Craggold alumni at the table. Mark Holmes and Kevin Briggs were there, too.

Brooklyn suddenly pushed back her chair and stood up from the table. Somebody asked where she was going, and she responded with a dismissive wave of her hand. She marched as inconspicuously as she could manage across the floor to Julian’s table, and plastered a smile on her face. Her sudden arrival caught the attention of everybody at the table, which thankfully consisted of just the three boys and Julian’s mom.

“Oh hey guys!” Brooklyn said brightly. It was painfully obvious that she was putting up a front. “I guess your mysterious weekend plans were here, huh?”

“Jules asked first!” Mark said immediately while Kevin and Julian both suppressed groans. “It’s not our fault, B. We didn’t think you’d be inviting us.”

“Why wouldn’t I invite you?” Brooklyn crossed her arms.

“Well we, uh, didn’t know you’d been nominated!” Kevin replied hastily. “We didn’t expect it.”

“Didn’t expect me to be nominated?” Brooklyn raised an eyebrow.

“Woah, woah, not like that.” Kevin raised his arms defensively. “I mean we didn’t expect to get an invite.”

“But of course I’d invite you. Because of course I’d be nominated, and want to invite my old friends to such a prestigious event. Right?” Brooklyn had to fight to keep a smirk off her face.

The rest of the table looked at each other awkwardly, not sure how to answer that question without being rude.

Brooklyn couldn’t hold it any longer. She broke into a fit of laughter and leaned over the table. “I’m just fucking with you guys!” She whispered. “I’m not mad.”

“Oh thank God.” Mark slumped back in his chair in relief.

After a moment, Kevin leaned forward with a grin, pointing right at Brooklyn. “So you admit that your nomination is fraudulent, then?”

“Don’t push it, boy.” Brooklyn pulled her lips into a sneer. “You’re lucky Mrs. Gallagher is sitting here or I’d tear you both apart. Good to see you, by the way,” she said, turning to give Julian’s mom a hug.

“The pleasure’s all mine, darling.” Julian’s mom replied cheerily. She seemed in great spirits, but that was to be expected given her son was due to receive one of the most prestigious awards in his sport.

“What have we here?” A new voice said, approaching the table. Everybody’s head turned to see Cavsar head coach Scott Linhart approaching the table of his star player. Linhart himself was nominated for Coach of the Year honors, though the competition with his fellow title game finalist Chris Dale was going to be tough. “Ah, Brooklyn, good to see you. Congrats on your nomination.”

“Thanks, Mr. Linhart,” Brooklyn replied cordially. It looked like Linhart was going to say something else, but another person appeared out of nowhere, wedging himself between Brooklyn and the Cavsar coach.

“Well if it isn’t a pack of North Craggold Wolves!” Dustin Beck said brightly, leaning forward to shake the hands of Mark and Kevin. He also shook Julian’s hand, holding on a second longer than the others. He turned to Mrs. Gallagher and gave her a side hug. “Good to see you, too, Patricia. Where’s Dan?”

“Restroom,” Mrs. Gallagher replied, referring to her husband. “Nice to see you all made it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of missing it!” Dustin replied. He completely ignored the presence of Scott Linhart, turning back to face Brooklyn. “This thing’s supposed to start in a few minutes, BB. Probably a good idea to head back to the table, hm?”

“Sure.” Brooklyn gave a performative smile and turned to follow as her dad walked back to their table. She shot a knowing glance back to Julian’s table before catching back up to Dustin.

Dustin wasn’t wrong, despite his rather underhanded method of cutting Brooklyn out of the conversation. The ceremony began soon after. With only a handful of awards to give out, it moved rather quickly. Under normal circumstances, the awards were handed out in reverse order so as to create suspense for the Most Outstanding Player reveal. This time, of course, there was no mystery to who the winner would be, but the programming remained the same.

The Coach of the Year award went to Chris Dale, which was not very surprising. Scott Linhart surely did a great job to earn Cavsar an 11-game win streak and their first championship. What Linhart didn’t have was a player tragically pass away halfway through the season. Dale was already old and presumably in one of his final seasons. He had to keep not just himself but his entire roster functional through that unimaginable tragedy, and ended up in the title game in spite of it all. They didn’t get that elusive fourth championship, but it did earn Dale a rightfully-won COTY trophy. His emotional speech was perhaps not the best way to start off, but it was a good thing.

Then came the oddest caption of the night. The Special Teams Player of the Year award, which has a tendency for strange entries, had another peculiar set this time around. Novatim kicker Nicky Wolfe from Sadeg State was nominated, thanks to only missing 1 field goal and 1 PAT all season and also being the only consistent piece of the offense all season. Of course, that one miss was a game-loser against Staramara Tech, but Sadeg State sucked enough that one loss wasn’t the backbreaker. Anyway, the NSCF committee seemed to agree that the youngster’s excellent performance was noteworthy, and the novatim came away with Sadeg State’s first NSCF player award. Yes, that’s a fact. Brooklyn hoped against hope that she’d be joining him in a few minutes.

Before that, the Defensive Player of the Year would be announced. It was a surprisingly Drawkian-heavy ballot: two Drawkian players at other schools (Tito Bird and Derek Boss), and a Quebecois player at a Drawkian school (Gil Ahn at Cavsar). Drawkian fans were sure to be satisfied with the result regardless, but it wasn’t too much of a shock to see Tito Bird’s name announced as the winner. Ahn was excellent, but so was the entire Cavsar unit. He just didn’t stand out enough. Boss was also great, but he was hobbled with injury for most of the season, and took the brunt of the Miles Jackson tragedy. Even now, he looked uncomfortable at his seat in the auditorium. No doubt if he’d managed to win the award, he’d be limping onto the stage. Tito Bird was the one bounding to the podium instead, adding the NSCF DPOY award to complement the Big Eight DPOY award he earned earlier in the season. His speech was full of energy and excitement, and he made sure to mention that LeBois Santura WOULD be taking the Big Eight title back.

Brooklyn’s adrenaline began to surge. It was time for the Offensive Player of the Year to be announced. Her competitors were fellow Horizon quarterback Hudson Charles, and some freshman from UCP named Larry Cunningham. The chances of Brooklyn winning against this competition was slim. Charles had the distinction of picking up Mountain District off the bench and performing really well. He almost won them the Horizon Conference. He almost beat Cavsar in the playoffs. Considering the circumstances, it was impressive. Larry Cunningham, meanwhile, led UC-Prairie to an almost undefeated season, managed to outplay the shitty gameplanning of his incompetent clown of a head coach, and almost won a playoff game. For a freshman, it was quite impressive too. Brooklyn, meanwhile, had approximately four elite games and a bunch of middling ones.

“And this cycle’s Offensive Player of the Year is …” the emcee trailed off into the microphone as he opened the envelope. “Larry Cunningham, UC-Prairie!”

Brooklyn immediately smiled and clapped in case a camera popped onto her, but she had to fight every urge to just slump over on the table. It was all a waste of time. The kernel of hope inside her was dashed. If there was any chance of earning a true accolade in the NSCF, it would have to wait till next season. It would all come down to that last senior season. What were the chances of really doing anything then?

After the clearly intoxicated Cunningham’s slurred speech at the microphone, it was time to finish things. With very little buildup, given the anticlimactic nature of the ballot, the Most Outstanding Player of NSCF 33 was announced. Julian Gallagher from Cavsar University came onto the stage to accept the award, to a considerable amount of applause. It made sense. It was a dream season. He was the focal point of an offense that tore up the turf of many NSCF teams en route to their first world championship. If ever there was an obvious winner for MOP, this was it.

Brooklyn clapped politely, but inside she felt a twinge of … something. Was it regret? Envy? It was the same feeling that was born during the NSCF playoffs, and it had only festered ever since. Now here she was, seeing the crux of it all, gracefully accepting the highest honors NSCF had to offer.

Julian’s speech was simple and to the point. He thanked his coaches, his teammates, his family, his friends. He recounted the experience of Cavsar’s season, how it felt to finally break decades of pain and disappointment. To nearly everybody’s surprise, he snuck another thank-you in right before the end of his speech.

“All said and done, I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for one particular player. So, Brooklyn Beck, thank you for getting me to Cavsar University.” Julian looked through the crowd, finding Brooklyn right as he said it. “And thanks to the rest of my teammates at North Craggold for building the foundation I used to succeed here.”

Moments later, his speech was done, the ceremony wrapped up, and it was time for the Players Banquet in an adjacent banquet hall. Brooklyn, meanwhile, was still recovering from what felt like a punch to the gut. He called her out by name in front of everybody. Why?

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Sun Aug 17, 2025 7:52 pm

"We did it, Varn. We did it for you."

Thus read the non-image content of a cica.da post from James D. Greene of Borlfield-based law firm Greene & Whyte. The image was a letter, with the Greene & Whyte letterhead and all, but with absolutely unhinged rants about how they, yes they, had successfully sabotaged the supply of RPDs to what they referred to as "the so-called Kytlerian gridiron team, primarily filled with Varnian traitors." It goes on to praise the True Varnians, a far-right Varnian separatist party with a virulent anti-RPD and pro-sporting-isolation stance, "for their steadfast backing of our successful mission to defend Varnian values against far-left assimilation." It then promised, more ominously yet, "we will not stop at hurting their efforts on the field. As long as they continue to represent The Kytler Peninsulae, they are enemies of a free Varn and must be treated accordingly."

The message was condemned as "not only an absolutely shameless admission of terrorism, but a declaration of plans to escalate this terrorism" by Prime Minister Alice Mulholland-Pearce, leader of the governing Workers' Party. "No responsible human being would put their name to this statement. But James D. Greene is clearly not a responsible human being." She called on the independent regulator LPRB (Legal Practice Regulatory Board) to suspend Greene's certification to practice, something which True Varnians leader Karen Sharpe called "a tyrannical attempt to take over the LPRB."

Meanwhile, the Green Machine - apparently nerfed by the alleged intervention of Greene (and, perhaps, Sharpe) - are 4-4 and looking set to miss the playoffs for the first time in their history. And nobody will be cheering for that outcome louder than Greene.

by **Drawkland** » Sun Aug 17, 2025 8:11 pm

WORLD BOWL LI

Back to the regular scheduling! Here's the logos for the DrawkStar Conference divisions. Generated with Midjourney AI and shittily touched up by me.
Also I accidentally wrote "conference" instead of "division" in the last cutoff's logos, and nobody pointed out. Like, do you even care about me?

Outbox Conference

## OUTBOX CONFERENCE     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Ranoria                10    8   2   214  104 +110
 2 Valanora               10    7   3   254  197  +57
 3 Drawkland              10    7   3   305  194 +111
 4 Ko-oren                10    7   3   204  118  +86
 5 Dhemixia               10    6   4   259  180  +79
 6 Rouyoute               10    5   5   285  224  +61
 7 Katzeburg              10    5   5   209  214   −5
 8 Natkr                  10    3   7   155  284 −129
 9 Abanhfleft             10    1   9   121  288 −167
10 Andso Mangis           10    1   9   123  326 −203

Plexen Conference

## PLEXEN CONFERENCE      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Chromatika              10    8   2   253  106 +147
 2 TJUN-ia                 10    8   2   335  209 +126
 3 Cardenao                10    8   2   221  116 +105
 4 Quebec and Shingoryeo   10    8   2   328  199 +129
 5 Delaclava               10    6   4   278  216  +62
 6 Terefuxe                10    4   6   194  217  −23
 7 Sea Peoples League      10    4   6   173  333 −160
 8 The Golden Harp         10    2   8   221  326 −105
 9 Vaishnavaria            10    2   8   191  326 −135
10 Ophiuchus Region        10    0  10   156  302 −146

DrawkStar Conference

## DRAWKSTAR CONFERENCE            Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Banija                           10    9   1   318  168 +150
 2 United States of Nova Calania    10    8   2   359  165 +194
 3 South Newlandia                  10    8   2   257  113 +144
 4 HUElavia                         10    7   3   258  197  +61
 5 The Kytler Peninsulae            10    6   4   210  144  +66
 6 Lisander                         10    5   5   188  245  −57
 7 New Portland Republic            10    2   8   101  276 −175
 8 Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador   10    2   8   140  304 −164
 9 Riandera                         10    2   8   123  225 −102
10 New Umoja                        10    1   9   177  294 −117

*Drawkland matches scorinated by Tumbra

by **Ko-oren** » Mon Aug 18, 2025 12:08 am

Season 56 Postseason

Divisional Kidignir 6 17:00 -

Aminey Caspians 31-17

Schemerdrecht 65ers (Stade sur la Baie, Amahne (Aminey) att. 51640/70000, 14C Gloomy)
ToP: 33:32-26:28 / Total Yds: 422-317 / 1st Downs: 28-26 / 3rd %: 47-27 / Pass Att: 35-39 / Pass Comp: 25-24 / Pass Comp%: 70,8-62,2 / Sacks: 5-7 / Fum TA: 0-1 / Int TA: 0-2 / Pen: 4-6

Divisional Kidignir 6 20:00 -

Greencaster Godspeed 34-17

Mayara Wolves (Surbourneshire Square, Garihnkatar (Greencaster) att. 65000/65000, 16C Gloomy)
ToP: 34:02-25:58 / Total Yds: 430-335 / 1st Downs: 22-23 / 3rd %: 51-29 / Pass Att: 37-16 / Pass Comp: 30-10 / Pass Comp%: 82,4-60,6 / Sacks: 4-7 / Fum TA: 1-1 / Int TA: 1-0 / Pen: 5-5

The first game is between teams hoping to go to the final, the second game is to decide who gets to have the opportunity to get demolished by the Centaurs in the western semifinal. Both games are over fairly quickly as one-sided affairs: the Caspians secure a 14-point lead at half time (17-3) and they maintain that margin until it's zeroes on the clock in the second half, all while keeping the 65ers from converting third downs. It's not like the Caspians have nothing to improve: they give up the ball three times deep on the 65ers' half and the purple team really should've done more with that, but two out of three times the drive led to a punt somewhere around the 50. That also means the beatdown could've been a lot more - had Aminey been able to protect the ball in the redzone, they would've likely had only the one fumble and scored 10 or 14 points more. Game two was a bit more even in that regard, but the Godspeed were so dominant through the air with 30 completed passes (out of 37) the basically got them the air yards necessary to stay ahead of whatever the Wolves could've done. It's not a surprise, really, as the Wolves finished with a losing record (6-7-3) and were very lucky to qualify for the playoffs. The Godspeed were tremendous at getting takeaways and they did get the ball more often than they gave it away, but that's hardly where the difference between the teams comes from.

Preliminary Kidignir 11 17:00 -

Mawryshire Centaurs 20-7

Greencaster Godspeed (Hertfield, Marapsathi (Mawrystwyth) att. 29682/33000, -5C Overcast and snowy, Strong gusts)
ToP: 34:42-25:18 / Total Yds: 424-292 / 1st Downs: 18-23 / 3rd %: 43-41 / Pass Att: 31-38 / Pass Comp: 19-28 / Pass Comp%: 60,6-74,4 / Sacks: 7-1 / Fum TA: 1-1 / Int TA: 1-0 / Pen: 4-6

Preliminary Kidignir 11 20:00 -

Aerellen Explosions 16-23

Aminey Caspians (Northern Arena, Ehbanna (Aevanna) att. 28021/32000, -5C Clear, Fog)
ToP: 31:28-28:32 / Total Yds: 369-340 / 1st Downs: 18-24 / 3rd %: 33-44 / Pass Att: 29-29 / Pass Comp: 17-20 / Pass Comp%: 57,6-68,4 / Sacks: 3-6 / Fum TA: 1-0 / Int TA: 1-1 / Pen: 4-7

We have our two Bowl teams: the west sends the Centaurs, entirely as expected, and the east sends the Caspians. Both games occur in pretty rough conditions, with visibility issues in the eastern game but snowy and windy conditions in the southwest for the Centaurs. Now the west coast is windy in general, but it takes some special conditions for temperatures to dip that low over there - a perfect storm that spelt disaster for the Godspeed. The visitors kept true to their passing game, and it wasn't actually all that bad because they got the ball out quickly across smaller distances, but they also did get sacked seven times (!) and gave up the ball twice en route to scoring a measly 7 points. The Centaurs had seen it all coming, realised the Godspeed might just beat themselves, and easily gets to the Bowl. The other game is a lot more competitive, with the Caspians winning the trenches but the Explosions coming up with the ball in scrimmages more. Both teams struggle to convert third downs, both teams can't get the ball to the receivers as often as they'd like, but neither offence resorts to cowardice. In that battle, the Caspians score last and that's probably what gets them over the line 16-23!

Bowl Kidignir 16 18:00 -

Mawryshire Centaurs 19-6

Aminey Caspians (Surbourneshire Square, Garihnkatar (Greencaster) att. 65000/65000, 8C Clear)
ToP: 34:37-25:23 / Total Yds: 401-274 / 1st Downs: 25-20 / 3rd %: 34-39 / Pass Att: 33-47 / Pass Comp: 21-36 / Pass Comp%: 63,6-77,4 / Sacks: 0-2 / Fum TA: 1-1 / Int TA: 1-3 / Pen: 3-3

The Bowl plays out pretty much as expected. The Centaurs are the class of the KPG and they keep the Caspians to two field goals: one before half time, one after. And that's with the eastern team coming up with a few lucky breaks: they protect their quarterback well and do get two hits on the Centaurs' passer, they do come up with three interceptions for four total takeaways (and only give up the ball twice), and they record a much better completion percentage. And yet, the Centaurs simply move the chains on the first or second down with a bunch of chunk plays that Aminey has no hope of stopping. It pays off - the Centaurs' offence stays on the field for far too long to be denied, and with one touch down and a lot of field goals, they're the champions of Ko-oren for the first time in the modern era, two seasons after a loss in the final. For the Caspians, it's their first appearance in the final - parity is good right now.

Lower Leagues

Second Division

1. West Intermare Cerberus  17  11  0   6  353  354  -1 #1 North
2. Gehrenna Mountaineers    17  10  0   7  409  368  41 #1 Central
3. Llandy Dragons           17   8  2   7  405  391  14 #1 South
4. Cote Austral Sails       17   9  0   8  465  451  14 Wildcard
5. Four Cities Kings        17   9  0   8  421  411  10
6. Western Mountains Dusk   17   9  0   8  404  408  -4
7. Aerellen Phoenix         17   7  3   7  446  374  72
8. Frontier Internationals  17   8  1   8  431  384  47
9. Straudum Caps            17   8  1   8  396  375  21
X. Ansonville Anchors       17   7  1   9  294  386 -92
=. Myaranowra Polar Stars   17   7  0  10  327  416 -89
10. Capital City Defenders  17   5  0  12  319  352 -33

West Intermare Cerberus 23-9 Cote Austral Sails
Gehrenna Mountaineers 17-24 Llandy Dragons

West Intermare Cerberus 31-10 Llandy Dragons

Youth & Rookie Division

1. Greencaster Gales               16  10  1   5  395  321  74 #1 West
2. Cirelbourne Cardinals           16   8  3   5  372  305  67 #1 East
3. Finisterre Mariners             16   9  1   6  364  315  49
4. Katashi Gridiron Football Team  16   9  0   7  412  375  37
5. Dartha Pelters                  16   9  0   7  359  357   2
6. Furune Skies                    16   8  0   8  354  274  80
7. Santa Teresa Rosas              16   8  0   8  371  408 -37
8. Linieux Bleus                   16   7  1   8  428  419   9
9. Iduloren Wildcats               16   7  1   8  361  386 -25
X. Aubury Atoms                    16   7  0   9  358  348  10
=. Alara Bears                     16   5  2   9  329  410 -81
10. Ora Ravens                     16   4  1  11  333  518-185

Greencaster Gales 17-14 Cirelbourne Cardinals

Service Leagues

*  4nav                                 Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Campodurada Marina                    11    7   1   3   255  230  +25
 2 Serramonte Marina                     11    6   3   2   309  254  +55
 3 Arakura Pioneer                       11    7   0   4   257  251   +6
 4 Maethoru Coast Guard                  11    6   1   4   228  217  +11
 5 yDremdun Selcis                       11    6   0   5   257  269  −12
 6 Mosfell Nautilus                      11    5   2   4   257  258   −1
 7 Laugarnes Leviathan                   11    5   0   6   270  244  +26
 8 Greencaster Harbour                   11    5   0   6   247  233  +14
 9 Eseril Aenoph                         11    5   0   6   277  265  +12
10 Katashi Canals                        11    5   0   6   207  210   −3
11 yMhinem Wniform                       11    3   0   8   169  253  −84 
12 Sterrenwoldse Vloot                   11    2   1   8   147  196  −49

   4srv                                 Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Bruncester Walkers                    11    8   0   3   251  191  +60
 2 Toumiers Silver Riders                11    8   0   3   247  203  +44
 3 Willowbourne Cardinal Corps           11    7   0   4   322  241  +81 
 4 Oceanside Citizens                    11    6   0   5   255  252   +3
 5 Mushout Mercury                       11    6   0   5   218  223   −5 
 6 Katashi Pilots                        11    6   0   5   244  269  −25
 7 Brighthaven Fire                      11    5   1   5   309  326  −17 
 8 Aralla Jets                           11    5   0   6   266  228  +38
 9 Gehrenna Gendarmes                    11    5   0   6   223  280  −57
10 Aevanna Aquila                        11    3   1   7   247  274  −27 
11 Senoren Guard of Lodheden             11    3   0   8   269  296  −27 
12 Expedicion Esporro                    11    3   0   8   250  318  −68

by **Katzeburg** » Mon Aug 18, 2025 6:31 am

The waiting room of the Aberstadt Journal is not something which would sit atop many people’s must-visit lists when heading to the east of the country, but for Daniel Coleman, it was a must-visit today. He shifted uncomfortably from side to side, trying to manually iron out some of the crinkles in his ill-fitting suit he didn’t have time to refresh prior to today. Thankfully, the room was mostly empty, bar a single receptionist causally scrolling through the news online.

Daniel breathed in and out, trying frantically to calm himself down. He had one chance here. Can’t afford to mess it up. Finally, a voice called out to him from down the hall. Standing up, he dusted himself off and began to head down the hallway, turning into a small room following the voice.

The room was a typical journalist’s office - clutter was absolutely everywhere, as were past editions of the Aberstadt Journal; littered on almost every possible surface which was available. A massive calendar ran alongside the right hand wall covering the next six months of sporting events both in Aberstadt and beyond - Daniel spied a quick reference to the Katzeburgian Wildcats and their next home game against Dhemixia, due to take place after the side heads to Valanora.

In the middle of the room sat a single chair, with another chair occupied against the back wall by a scruffy man with curly red hair, frantically working away on something at his desk. He wasn’t paying attention to the new occupier of the room, and it was only when Daniel coughed quite loudly that he would turn around to face him.

“Ahh, Daniel right?” said the man. Daniel nodded. “Name’s Liam Robertson, I’m the sports editor here at the Journal. Great to see we’ve got people keen in the role! Take a seat.” He gestured towards the empty chair as Daniel pulled it beneath him.

Liam opened his mouth as to ask a question, before quickly shutting it and raising a finger to the air; swirling around to face his desk once more and beginning to shuffle through some papers.

“Aha! Here we go,” he said before turning back towards Daniel, a sheet of paper in hand. “Now, your resume says you have a bit of experience working in journalism before - are you able to go into that a little?”

Daniel nodded nervously, preparing his pre-planned response. “O-of course,” he began. “I’ve been heavily involved in the campus newspaper down at the University of Aberstadt these last three years; a title called The Lampoon.”

“The satirical paper?” Liam said, raising his eyebrow. “I didn’t know they did actual journalism, I just thought it was all shitposts and cartoons of ducks riding on surfboards.”

“Skateboards. But yes, our sports coverage is actually one of our stronger and more factually accurate sections of the paper,” Daniel said. “In fact, these last three years, I’ve been the sole sports editor at the paper - even covering the Katzeburgian Wildcats during their World Bowl campaigns.”

“Oh aye, I feel for you there - I don’t think I’ve even gone to a game of theirs, and the stadium is only about a ten minute walk from here. But aren’t all those articles normally written by the less-than-ideally named journalist called Richard Rider?”

“That’s a pen-name,” Daniel replied. “It was originally a bit of an in-joke between us at the paper, but over time it’s become a good way to shield our authors from any real flack based on what we cover.”

“I can imagine it helps whenever you need to come up to ASU,” Liam joked.

“Indeed it does. We tend to exaggerate a chunk of what we cover, but it is mostly built off actual fact - like the recent town parade because we held the Golden Bowl for a grand total of about three seconds.”

“That makes sense, not even the university’s board has gotten back to me yet about why they decided to waste that much money on something so pointless,” Liam said shaking his head. “So why are you applying for this role then?”

Daniel acknowledged the question with a nod and then took a breath in. “Well, I’m in my final year of my journalism degree and the World Bowl is the last real competition I’m going to be covering for the paper before I graduate. The Journal seems like a really good fit for my skillset and it’s a paper I’ve always been keen to work for, truth be told.”

“And perhaps most importantly, it’s hiring,” Liam said with a smile creeping across his face.

“That… Doesn’t hurt either,” Daniel smirked.

“So what’s going to happen to The Lampoon then once you’re done?”

“Oh it will still carry on, but we’ve not got the numbers to maintain a sports section unfortunately. I think the overall editor is getting a bit tired about how many ways we try to dress up the fact our national gridiron team is awful; the audience just isn’t there for it anymore.”

“I mean at least the team is heading towards .500 ball this campaign, surely that indicates that it’s slowly getting there right?”

“Maybe. Coach Sydney, who is a lovely fellow mind you, even though we give him a lot of stick in the paper, seems to be optimistic that if we just keep sticking with things we’ll break through, but I’m personally just not seeing it; it’s almost impossible to break through into the top nations without proper investment, and each World Bowl we continue to do garbage in the harder it gets to get that buy-in.”

“Well maybe you’ll be able to see how things go at the next World Bowl, especially if the team can crack .500 this time around. In the meantime, there’s plenty to cover sports-wise. I mean there's always the increasing interest in football over here, as well as the current rumours I’m sure you’re aware of.”

“What rumours?”

“That UoA is entering a team in the NSCF this season.”

“Wait, what?!”

Liam exaggerated making a note on the sheet of paper he was holding. “I’ll take some marks off for networking and information sourcing skills there then…”

Daniel chuckled. “That would be a game-changer for the sport in Katzeburg though, wouldn’t it? I mean our current domestic conference often leaves a lot to be desired, but if they can get onto the major stage and even steal some results, it could be huge.”

“Like when Braunburg dumped out some top-ranked side in the last basketball season?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh aye, yes, look how much that did to raise the profile of basketball in Katzeburg - I don’t think we’ve even got a national team yet.”

“Not yet, but next season the college teams will have something to build off at the very least - this could happen here too. And the World Bowl could follow.”

“Potentially, but for now it’s no World Bowl and no Lampoon.”

“No Lampoon?”

“I want to offer you the job, Dan - Would you be able to start after Katzeburg’s last game against Natkr?”

by **HUElavia** » Mon Aug 18, 2025 7:21 pm

Nova Calania vs HUElavia Intro

Opening Theme

"It's a perfect night here in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer, with one of the most anticipated matchups of the Group Stage playing once more at World Bowl 51, as the 8-2 division leaders Nova Calania hosts the fast-approaching 7-3 HUElavia here on the nighttime slot to close out Matchday 12!"

"Hello everyone, this is Manuel Rodriguez here, alongside my good broadcasting partner Josue Rocha Mantovani, as we're here to present one of the big matchups of this group stage. Now, HUElavia has made it known that they are not a team to be underestimated. Back on Matchday 6, HUElavia just played out of their minds in a historic 50-23 beatdown over Nova Calania that saw both the offense and defense just overwhelm the slight favorites in that match up. Since then, HUElavia has gone 3-1, which includes their bye and Nova Calania has gone 5-0 since then. Quite simply, despite the historic result, Nova Calania has been with the momentum leading up to the rematch. What are your thoughts up to now."

"HUElavia and Nova Calania are very evenly matched opponents. I mean, they're 14th and 13th in the Multiverse Rankings, for Pete's sake! They're both great teams that have shown they can hold their weight against most opponents and they mean business when wanting to go for the World Bowl title. Of course, back then, HUElavia had the home field advantage in Curumba, but now, it's a hostile crowd here in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer, and they aren't gonna want to see their team pummeled at home again."

"So far, Quarterback Obey Uchechy has had a very solid tournament so far, 16 Touchdowns, but 6 interceptions to his name. What do you make of his performance so far?"

"With the exception of the Banija game, Uchechy has been very steady and calm when it comes to these games so far. He's proven he can lead the team and his mobility has allowed The Yellows from escaping some tricky defensive plays and keep the ball in their possession and go down the field for the score. This is another big test for him, and I have confidence he can perform well and give it a great shot to go for the division lead."

"Meanwhile for Nova Calania, Quarterback Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps has been on fire with their Touchdowns, 5 interceptions up to now, and had a perfect rating on Matchday 10 in their 40-3 beatdown of Riandera. How do you evaluate them?"

"Bellerose has been fantastic throughout this World Bowl, one of the very best quarterbacks up to now, they're pretty mobile and have been making plays well for Nova Calania, truly a Captain in their own right. HUElavia's defense will have to step up if they want to contain them again and make their night a living nightmare."

"Kickoff is moments away, as the fight for the Larry Whitaker Division heats up, where the winner will be really setting themselves up for the playoffs as we get closer to the mad dash that is this group stage. We'll see you after commercials for the opening kick!"

by **United States of Nova Calania** » Tue Aug 19, 2025 9:14 am

Two more decisive wins

New Umoja - Nova Calania defeated two more teams and are on a 5 games winning streak! The Tapirs received Riandera on week 10 at Stadion Yellow Black Army in Ostrow Krolewski, Odlegla Ziemia and it was a one-sided 40-3 win. Nova Calania was off to a slow start and were leading 3-0 after 15 minutes. The Tapirs increased their lead early in the 2nd quarter on a 14 yards passing touchdown from Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps to Charles-Xavier Gourgues. On Riandera's next drive, Syamsuddin Azis' pass was tipped by Gunnar Schnackenberg, the ball went up in the air and fell into Nathaniel Coiteux-Vaugeois' hands, who was tackled immediately by the tigh end Haley Kramer. On a 1st and 10 at the 39 yards in Riandera's territory, Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps threw a bomb into the endzone to Anne-Élisabeth Guirguis for the touchdown. Riandera answered with a 32 yards field goal and Nova Calania followed wih a 35 yards field goal. The score at halftime was 20-3 Nova Calania.

The Tapirs started off with the ball in the 3rd quarter and Arielle Bellerose-Deslongchamps threw a 4 yards pass to Melody Scroggs in the endzone for the touchdown. Nova Calania followed with two field goals. A 45 yards field goal late in the 3rd quarter and a 26 yards field goal early in the 4th quarter. Riandera couldn't do anything on their next drive and Nova Calania followed with a 6 minutes long drive, which ended with a 2 yards rushing touchdown by Tristan Montmarquette-Boisvenue. The final score was 40-3 Nova Calania.

On week 12, Nova Calania travelled to New Umoja and played against this team ranked 22nd, which isn't bad. Some bad luck happened to me. I had my passport at Aéroport national Prince Pierre-Alexandre 1er de Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer, I showed it, boarded into the plane and fled to New Umoja. Then, at the New Umoja airport I no longer had my passport and I was detained at the airport. Finally, the New Umojan security at their airport told me they found my passport at Aéroport national Prince Pierre-Alexandre 1er de Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer. Security was nice, they bring me some food and a rootbeer from a fast food chain. I missed a very good game. Nova Calania scored 3 touchdowns and 6 field goals for 39 points.

With 10 games played, Nova Calania is 1st in Larry Whitaker division and 2nd in Drawkstar conference, tied with South Newlandia. Our next two games will be very important. The Tapirs receive HUElvia at Terrain de Football 1 au Complexe sportif national (Football Field 1 at National Sports Complex) in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer on sunday night. Then, on week 13, Nova Calania will travel to Drawkland to play against South Newlandia on a neutral ground. Nova Calania is ranked 13th. HUElavia, 14th and South Newlandia, 12th. Nova Calania is just one game ahead of HUElavia in the standings and is tied with South Newlandia in the standings. François-Xavier Malboeuf will be healthy and active on week 12. He missed a couple of games because of an ankle sprain. Marc-Olivier Sanschagrin is still out with a shoulder injury for week 12 and 13.

Jean-Alexandre Guindon

by **Banija** » Tue Aug 19, 2025 12:16 pm

Rolling Banijans find themselves atop both the division and the conference with three games to go

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- The kickoff to the Serpent Eagles' World Bowl LI campaign was poor. That was to be expected- whenever Banijan gridiron teams go to the Jungledrom, bad things happen. Whether it's Loyola-Istria, Northern Moravica, or the Serpent Eagles, time and time again, the result at that venue is expected- it's gonna rain a bunch, the Ellies defense will force turnovers, make the Banijans look like they're a bunch of dudes who come from a desert and have never seen rain in our lives, and generally, kick our boys' ass. And that's exactly what happened. Two defensive TDS and four forced turnovers in the opening game of the campaign, putting the Banijans in an early 0-1 hole.

But we haven't lost since.

That's right. We've played in all sorts of games- low-scoring physical contests, high-scoring shootouts, and ass whuppings. But the commonality among all three of those? Banija was on the winning side each and every time. The most critical among these wins, of course, was the defensive showdown against South Newlandia, a nation who is rapidly moving up Banija's rivalry list in sport. In their fifth matchup across the last two World Bowls, it was the Banijans successfully defending home field, when the defense got a stop on downs, in their own territory, as the Ellies were driving down the field to win the game.

"That was not an easy game to win, by any stretch of the imagination." Said the head coach, Thomas Hall. "Obviously, the offense was struggling- kicking only FGs, and they've found a way to make Odika a turnover machine whenever we meet up with them on the field of play. But we needed to have a stronger defense if we want to get further than we did in the last tournament, and they stepped up in the critical moment. All tournament long, they've made critical play after critical play. Obviously, our offense is high-flying, averaging over 34 points per game in games that aren't played at the Jungledrom, but we've got to have performance on both sides of the ball if we want to win a world championship. And these are the kinds of perfomances we need."

Over the course of a long group stage, naturally, performances go up and down. Offense balls out one day, defense is cooking the next day. You will have days where you're more reliant on one than the other- and that's good, because you're never going to know what you might need the most when the games turn into win-or-go home. Let's look at our two most recent games, and show how this has played out.

MD11: Lisander 26–36 Banija

This game was more of a shootout. Obviously implied by the score, and the statlines- Odika threw for 333 yars and 3 TDs, while he had one on the ground, and Okombo had one on the ground as well. 36, of course, because we went for two in the middle of the game, after a momentum shifting 57 yard strike to Batte for a TD. The offense was indeed rolling, and obviously, 5 TD drives and 36 points imply that. 492 yards of total offense imply that even more. Especially when you count the fact that Kijeera, our FG kicker, was 0/1 on the day, hitting wide right from 44 yards.

But despite all of that, our defense made critical plays in this contest. What were those plays? Well, before we look at two, let's take a more wholistic POV here. Lisander had 5 scoring drives of their own, 3 TDs and 2 FGs. They missed a PAT early in the game, a point that would end up looming large. But think about the key plays made.

First, last play of the first half. Banija trailing, 14-16 on the road. Last play of the first half, Lisander going for what would be an earth-shattering upset. And look, why not be aggressive? Playoff chances are fading fast, and you've got to go for the win. 2 seconds left, they've got the ball on the Banijan 4 yard line. They ain't kicking- they'te trying to score a TD, to take a 2 possesion lead into the second half- a half where they'd start with the football. High-risk maneuver, but all things considering, probably a pretty smart roll of the dice in a vacuum. And yet, that's the key- in a vacuum. They went under center, single back, with three WRs bunched left, and a TE to the right. What they didn't count on, was Karwana Kimaka blowing up the Lisander tackle on what might have been the most important play of the game. He blew up the tackle, disrupted everything, and instead of their QB throwing a sharp, precise slant- he had to throw up a prayer, which landed harmlessly out of the back of the end zone for a turnover on downs.

Massive, massive play that completely changed the game. Instead of Banija being down for the count, it was just a two point game- where Banija was able to carry momentum into the locker room.

And secondly, let's go to the fourth quarter. We've got a slim, 3 point lead, at 29-26. Seven minutes to go. Lisander, again, looking to win. They've got 2nd & 4 at the Banijan 21, and are trying to stay aggressive. But amidst an excellent read and perfect coverage on the deep in route, a pass by the Lisander QB was intercepted by Julius Adhon at the Banijan 4 yard line. A huge play, as Lisander would never have the ball on the Banijan side of the 50 again.

So even in games where they largely struggled- huge, game-breaking moments.

MD12: Banija 45–20 Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador

While we're mostly talking about defense here, let's talk about two game-breaking plays, both in the first quarter, from defense and special teams- that ended up burying Irish Nova Scotia & Labrador's upset bid before it started.

Can we get the commentator's calls here, though?

Banijan Radio Commentator wrote:3rd & 5, on the game's opening drive for Irish Nova Scotia & Labrador, and the second drive of the game. The Banijans went 3 & out, surprisingly, on the first drive, and as this ballgame is 0-0, the visitors dont' want to do that as well. The QB is barking out signals, in the shotgun- but it's hard to hear, as 100,000 strong are bellowing.

The play clock is ticking down... 5.. 4... 3... 2.... And it's snapped. The Banijans are bringing pressure- that's 7 rushers, including the nickel back. That's one more than the visitors can block. He forces a throw to the sideline.. AND TEMBO JUMPS IT AND IT'S PICKED OFF! HE"S SPRINTING DOWN THE SIDELINE, AND NOBODY"S GONNA CATCH HIM AS IT'S A TOUCHDOWN FOR THE SERPENT EAGLES! FLY EAGLES FLY!

(He pauses for about 10 seconds to allow the crowd reaction to be heard) That's Tembo, with a 37 yard pick-6, to put Banija on the board for the first time today. What a pick!

And then, we'll start with the first play of the second quarter. For context, it was still a tight game at this point. 10-3 in favor of Banija, as the offense had a later FG drive in the quarter, while the visitors had just responded with a FG of their own. And then... It was the 32 year old returner. Bamara Taje. Just simply not known as explosive. And yet, 101 yards after receiving that ensuing kickoff, he was diving into the end zone, conducting the home crowd as if they were a choir. It was the spark to a huge second quarter- where we'd score 2 more TDs, both on offense, to take a game that was 10-3 at the start of the quarter, to 31-6 by the time that halftime came around.

And now, where does that put the Serpent Eagles? Not only top of the Jack Hoy division.. But first in the conference as well, and first in the race for the #1 overall seed for the postseason. And, of course, the magic number to clinch a playoff berth is 1. "We know what we're in position to do- but, frankly, we haven't accomplished shit yet." Said the starting QB, and captain, Kadesh Odika. "9-1 is a good place to be, yes we're on top of the conference- but a couple of bad games can derail everything. We've got two in-division games left, both a tough matchup against a Kytlerian team that will likely be fighting for their lives in Week 14, and we're gonna be locked in for all three of those."

Big game from a big name QB. But the KOs are coming- and if we want that first round bye, well, we've got no choice whatsoever but to win those games.

World Bowl LI [51] Everything Thread

Drawkian Home Game Venues

WB LI ~ MD8, MD9

NSFB: BOUNCEBACK, ALRIGHT!

Brooklyn Beck (S6:E2)

WB LI ~ MD10, MD11

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