World Bowl LI [51] Everything Thread

by **Riandera** » Wed Aug 06, 2025 4:46 pm

TIM SEPAK BOLA GRIDIRON NASIONAL RIANDERA
Riandera's team for World Bowl 51

About Riandera
Full Nation Name: The Oriental Republic of Riandera
Demonym: Rianderan
Trigramme: RIA
National Organisation: Rianderan Gridiron Football Association (RGFA)
Team Nicknames: Lunars
Team Colours: Blue, Purple, White and Black

The Home Stadium
Intelligence EcoDome [Medan, Sumatra, Riandera]

Capacity: 91,985

The Intelligence EcoDome, formerly the National Sport Dome, is Riandera's largest outdoor stadium. It will serve as the home for their home games throughout the group stage. It has a huge 91,985 person capacity, and has greenery on each side of the stadium, providing fresh air. It has a retractable roof, in case it rains, or just in case if it's too hot. The National Sport Dome opened in 1985, initially for *World Cup* football. It changed in 1998, when a new stadium was built for them, and the stadium turned into a gridiron football dome. It was refurbished in 2010 for its 25th anniversary. A year later, the builders of the NSD entered into a naming rights deal with Rianderan giant telecommunications business Intelligence, renaming the stadium to Intelligence EcoDome. Aside from sports, many artists and bands had their world tour shows in the Intelligence EcoDome, such as Kris, Marselino Valerio and 7 Digits of Pi.

Staff

Name	Age	Gender	Role
Yohanes Herman	46	M	Head Coach / Assistant Manager
Mariana Amanda	53	F	Manager
Imam Rahman	41	M	Offensive Coordinator
Diane Amalie	64	F	Defensive Coordinator
Dr. Rizky Sari	68	M	Team Doctor
Jamila Hasanah	56	F	Team Trainer

Roster
Names in italics denote starters

Offense
Quarterbacks

8	QB	Syamsuddin Azis	29	M	6'2
15	QB	Rina Zahara	25	F	6'
2	RB	Farhan Satria	28	M	5'11

Halfbacks

33	HB	Ningrat^	30	F	6'1
46	HB	Yusril Hakim	29	M	6'7
27	HB	Siti Nurjanah	27	F	6'

^ Yes, Ningrat is her actual name. She has no family name, only a given name.

Fullbacks

81	FB	Dwi Indra Utami	30	M	6'6
42	FB	Wulandri Dian	29	F	5'11

Wide Receivers

24	WR	Bilal Rahman	30	M	6'5
87	WR	Park Yong Hwa	25	F	6'
21	WR	Yosias Mote	27	M	6'2
4	WR	Marion Laksmi	26	F	6'3
83	WR	Visnu Sagara	28	M	6'

Tight Ends

88	TE	Haley Kramer	26	F	5'11
45	TE	Julius Kogoya	25	M	6'1
36	TE	Kezia Lee	27	F	6'

Offense Line

63	LT	Jon Rosario	28	M	6'
51	LG	Leyla Mera	26	F	6'
76	C	Aiken Santoso	28	M	6'2
67	RG	Tally Tulfo	25	F	6'4
58	RT	I Made Arya	26	M	6'1
79	T/LT	Viktoria Nana	27	F	6'
50	T/RT	Agus Saputra	29	M	5'11
66	G/LG	Maria Yohanes	25	F	6'2
61	G/RG	Jufri Mandar	26	M	6'5
72	C	Jai Kurniawan	25	M	6'

Defense
Defensive Line

94	LE	Catarina Soares	29	F	6'
57	NT	Bagus Santosa	25	M	6'4
64	RE	Sandra Giselle	27	F	6'5
99	DT	Kevin Dias	26	M	6'2
62	DE	Wa Ode Hidayat	28	F	6'4
77	LE	Ahmad Jailani	27	M	6'
60	RE	Cherry Singha	28	F	6'3
91	DT/LE	Andri Saputra	25	M	6'1
54	DT/RE	Fitri Oktavia	26	F	6'2

Linebackers

0	SLB	Asep Mamonto	29	M	6'6
38	MLB	Yenny Mannoppo	25	F	6'3
13	MLB	Niko Setiawan	26	M	6'4
28	WLB/MLB	Regina Reyna	29	F	6'
32	MLB	Lars Iskandar	28	M	6'1
97	OLB	Katie Maria	27	F	6'2
28	LB/SLB	Gusti Widiyanti	25	M	6'5
93	LB/WLB	Tri Wulandari	26	F	6'
53	OLB	Yohanus Wenda	28	M	6'3
28	MLB	Jorja Sáez	27	F	6'1

Cornerbacks

25	LCB	Syam Rompas	28	M	6'5
20	RCB	Anna V. Teoh	26	F	6'4
37	CB	Erwin Pramudita	29	M	6'2
48	LCB	Ella D. Teoh	27	F	6'3
41	RCB	Edi Muhammad	30	M	6'4
34	LCB/RCB	Margarita Reyes	27	F	6'5
26	LCB/RCB	Ira Sari	25	M	6'3

Safeties

18	SS	Alexandra Chen	25	F	6'3
30	FS/SS	Reid Rahayu	27	M	6'5
49	SS	Mary Akira	28	F	6'4
27	FS	Melkias Wanimbo	29	M	6'3
35	FS	Shu Lingling	26	F	6'4
27	FS/SS	Melkias Wanimbo	29	M	6'3

Special Teams
Kicker

11	K	We Besse	28	F	6'4

Punter

7	P	Agustin Herman	30	M	6'3

Long Snapper

52	LS	Rina Meutia	28	F	6'2

Kick/Punt Returners

24	KR/PR	Bilal Rahman	30	M	6'5
48	KR	Ella D. Teoh	26	F	6'3

Holder

10	H	Marthin Jailani	26	M	6'3

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my Scorers: Yes (obviously.)
Choose Scoring Events: Yes (I don't know much about Gridiron Football, so go ahead!)
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP Injuries to my Players: Yes (but nothing career ending, please!)
Godmod Injuries to my Players: Yes (but nothing career ending please!)
Godmod Other Events: Yes... but with prior discussion.
Style Modifier: (-0.5)

by **Ranoria** » Wed Aug 06, 2025 6:34 pm

Ranoria City, Ranoria

Paul Verona was having a pretty good day.

The former Sierraville Farmers quarterback took a sip of his sugar-rich coffee, just hot enough to nearly burn his upper lip as the smell of a nice roast hit his nose with that sharp, but calmingly familiar scent. A buzz in his pocket alerted him to a text message, and he smiled when he confirmed his brother Tommy was going to be coming over to watch the Ranorian Football League's Hall of Fame celebration later. He sighed contentedly, the morning sun casting visible beams of light through the window, flashing on his four RFL All Star game nominations and lone Winter Bowl ring as he went to lean on the window frame.

He glanced over to the wall, where plenty of family pictures were assembled in a perfect disarray, at the center of it, him hugging his daughter Astrid on her wedding day. He didn't see much of her these days, but she was going to be in the country with her husband Jesse Griffith to watch her old Richardson teammate, Kaiser Belfort, be inducted into the RFL Hall of Fame in person. They were planning to fly down shortly after - not super close, but relatively local compared to Sonnel. She was planning to see some old teammates for a bit, then once they went their separate ways, come spend some time with her old man.

Which reminded him, as he fished his phone back out of his pocket, opening up his messages with his grandson Gabriel, where he reacted with a laughing emoji to the Cavsar commit's message.

The device slipped into his pocket with practiced ease as he took in his spacious back yard. The dog was prancing around chasing butterflies, the missus was tending to the vegetable garden, and yeah, that squirrel was still looking at him like it knew something it shouldn't.

Life was good.

Both Paul and Tommy Verona clapped as Kaiser Belfort's induction speech - given by none other than his beloved wife Claudia - mercifully concluded. Between the hysterical sobs of hers that resulted in a commercial break and her hurling her shoe at her husband just minutes later when she remembered that he hadn't skipped a game to take her to the hospital with a chipped nail - it was certainly an induction speech that had occurred.

"Glad that's over," Tommy remarked, taking another sip of his Raze Energy, "So when are Astrid and Jesse getting in?"

"Goood," Paul lifted his hip to reach into his pocket, "questioooon," he trailed off as he opened up his phone and checked his messages, a smile painting his features at the idea of seeing his only child in just a few hours.

That smile faded faster than the Blue Jay's chances of going undefeated in NSCF 34.

"What's up?" Tommy asked, holding the can over his mouth and trying to shake out what little was left of his drink.

"She's not coming, I guess." Paul sank back into his chair. "Bummer." He absentmindedly tossed the phone to his brother, who looked at the texts with a raised brow.

"What?"

K ig the jet Jesse rented has been having issues lately so we're bailing on the flight down which sucks
But I guess you can come to Sonnel when the new baby's here
Anyway that means I'll have to bail on a reunion. I actually do have the class reunion tmrw still but I'll just be there for a few hours w/ friends so I'll be losing the free time in the area

"Who rents a faulty private jet? Just find another flight?"

"That's what I'm saying!"

Ring Four In The Rearview:
Will Lack of Depth At Quarterback Doom Their Title Defense?

Krauts Head Coach Isaac Dieter at a preseason presser

Could they have set the bar any higher?

No one was expecting the Krauts to come out and win the whole thing again in World Bowl L. This wasn't the squad of the early to mid 40's, with the full war chest of the Ranorian Football League backing it, with enough profit to actually shell out to pay players for the extra games. It was loaded with aging veterans who just wanted to get one last ride, or the ring they never had a shot at. Well - they got it. And in that dominant campaign in which they earned a fourth World Bowl title, the Krauts are no longer a team with some respect just because of name value - they're a frontrunner again. Maybe even the frontrunner.

Four of the last nine World Bowls have ended with Ranoria at the summit. But with plenty of upheaval, are they in position to do that again? Quarterback Vallienté Wagner-Young, last season's starter, is out for the season with a torn rotator cuff on his non throwing shoulder. The final remaining members of that World Bowl 46 defensive line - The Four Horsemen - are all playing backup roles. Even the once young stars like Rylan Rodgers Jr, Akhello Volson and Najee Isidora are aging faster than anyone would care to admit.

But the new wave of talent is here too. Kualu Luani is stepping into the shoes as the starter. An NSCF & Winter Bowl champion, he's more than ready and more than talented enough to lead this offense, even if they do need to air it out. But if he does go down? Things might get a little hairy. Two of the team's three quarterbacks are making their Krauts debut, including himself. With quarterback Ernest Bello suffering an injury at the tail end of the last domestic campaign and Astrid Verona officially retiring, the team needed to bring in more bodies. So they got Gracelyn Jackson, quarterback of the Berlin Snow Bears, and Luani. The team usually likes to carry four - but they're keeping Wagner-Young on IR in case he can play later.

But before all of that, he's tasked with beating his Memphis Steamers teammates in week one. Visiting Valanora on opening day isn't the warm up game the team got last go round - it's a test of mettle, a true marquee matchup. Max Stromberg - easily the best wideout in the RFL - has been Luani's top target for years, and Kasper Ulvestad has long been the star of that Steamers defense. How we'll handle playing against those two superstars - along with so many others - remains to be seen. Valanora is well known to be one of the most successful nations in the world on the collegiate gridiron. They're an uncrowned champion at the professional level and everyone knows it - but it'll be up to the reigning champions to try and hold them off for at least one more season.

And with their home games coming in Mar Sara -in the same Lathalein Celestial Stadium where the Mar Sara Tech Raiders play, it should prove to be must watch television. Launi himself is an alumni of Raynor University. The Battle for the Royal Sabre is one of the most iconic feuds in collegiate sports. Whether it's a good or bad omen that Luani's Kraut debut will take place in the home of his old rival there, only time will tell.

But that quarterback room we mentioned - anyone wanna guess who only returner could be?

That's right! Forty two year old Diamond Rhine.

Why they're still letting this dude on the team, nobody is quite sure. He hasn't thrown a game pass in nearly a decade at this point, hasn't been good since his fourth season, and doesn't even look like the physical specimen he used to be. But he's here. If the Krauts have to run him out, even the running game might become suspect. But he doesn't ask for a ton of cash, and appears to still have some sort of cult following, so he's probably driving up ratings a bit.

"All speculative questions," Kualu Luani laughed at a presser, his confidence calming the room, "I don't plan on going down, and I've full confidence that Deondre or Gracelyn can run this offense like the professionals they are if need be. Right now, I'm focused on our trip to Mar Sara. I'll see a lot of teammates there - but I was always preferential to Raynor myself."

by **Cardenao** » Wed Aug 06, 2025 7:10 pm

“Hellloooo Cardenao!!! Thanks for tuning into CrownTime with me, your host, Missy LeCrown!

We have a big show for you today, we’ll recap our Under-18s heartbreaking loss in the World Cup Final, I’ll take you play by play through our basketball team’s narrow victory against host nation and world #2 Quebec and Shingoryeo in the International Basketball Championship…

But before that, from the mountains of LeBois to the tundra of Ranoria, our next guest has gone from largely unknown to national treasure and now a global icon. Most Outstanding Player in his college days, an MVP in the most difficult league in the world…World Bowl winning captain. No Cardenaoan boasts a resume like his…please welcome to CrownTime, Bobby Dials!”

The studio applauded as the man with Big Dial Energy strode in, smile on his face, crisp blue suit with Cardenaoan gold highlights, collar popped like a damn boss. He looked relaxed but alert at the same time, if the calm before the storm had a look, it was Bobby Dials.

“Helluva introduction, Missy, but yeah, I guess I did all that!

And hey, congrats on your own show!”

“Well thank you Bobby! Let’s get right to it though, World Bowl 51….matchday one! While we were all bummed to not defend our title last edition, but we’re rolling into this one ranked number one in the world! How bout that!? Now, Bobby, what do you see when you look at the team this time around?”

No hesitation from the Dialer as he smiled with determination written on his face.

“I see real hunger, Missy. I see a group of guys who’ve gone through a lot together. From nobodies to champions over night, then the soul crushing defeat in World Bowl 50…now we know how to get the job done. I guess I see maturity, Missy. We’re dialed in now, we all want another ring and the new guys are desperate to get their first, so yeah, we got the conditions for success. We’re ready for a deep run, now we gotta approach each game calmly and consistently.”

“Alright, alright I love that! You’ve been playing like it too in Ranoria with the Ironmen, you’ve got an MVP in the best league in the world, you’ve got a wildly winning record and plenty of fans—heartbreak in the Winter Bowl last season though with the Pittsburgh Ironmen.

Now you’ve got a big question and the world is dying to know…your rookie contract is just about over and we’re wondering what’s next up for you??”

“Hmm, that’s a good question Missy. It’s been a pretty wild ride, I’ve learned a lot playing pro ball and it’s been a blast to be coached by Steve Valentine—he was my college coach, now he’s my pro coach…and intentional coach too! We’re both 60 minutes away from winning the Winter Bowl…..

So we’re running it back! I’m breaking the news now myself that I’ve signed a one year extension, I’m getting that Winter Bowl and then…well I don’t think we’re ready to say what comes next just yet!”

“Well I for one am dying to see what team lands you…I think I speak for all of our viewers when I say I hope it’s somewhere in Cardenao!”

A bit of an awkward laugh before Bobby got back to media training, “I wouldn’t know anything about that Missy haha we don’t even have a league!”

“But we could!”

“Yeah…maybe, I mean that’s a little outside the scope of what I can do but I’ll tell you this, you’ll be the first to know when I do!”

Missy leaned forward, her voice suddenly soft, gentle, melting into the ears of Cardenaoans and the many international viewers.

“You’ve done a lot of winning, Bobby, for only being 25 years old. MVPs, college accolades….winning the World Bowl as a college junior and now headlining the world #1 team? It’s all impressive…but what does legacy mean to you?”

Silence hung in the air and the audience found themselves on their toes, leaning in to hear what Bobby would say. He paused for a full moment as the weight of that question fell on his shoulders.

“Damn Missy….that’s a good one. I guess I’d put it like this.

One ring? Man that’s awesome, but that’s luck. A good run, hot streak at the right time, other teams messing up—everyone always says it’s something. But two rings? That’s different, Missy, that’s legit. That means I’ve built something, we, the team, built something. Two is more than one, two is legacy. I’m bringing another World Bowl home, this could be our best chance to go do it.”

The audience erupted with cheers as Missy beamed a smile, that clip was sure to go viral.

“Well there you have it, Cardenao, there you have it world! Everyone’s watching….and Bobby Dials is ready.

Thanks for coming on the show, Bobby, and good luck in your first game!! Oh, who are you starting qualification off against?”

“I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. I don’t care what team is ahead of me, I’m going to play to win or die on the field.

Thanks for having me, Missy, I’ve got a feeling we’ll talk soon!”

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Wed Aug 06, 2025 7:35 pm

Nobody could deny that Theodore Galstian's sole cycle running the Grim Reapers was a success. A quarterfinals appearance, especially after a tricky group stage where their ability to snatch defeat from victory against Cardenao, a side that's come to present themselves as the Reapers' boogey in almost every sport possible (give them time, soccer will follow too), which was also accompanied by a relatively poor away form, was a success.

Not that people had issues on whether to call it a success or not.

I mean, let's be honest here. Reapers, for what it's worth, aren't always remembered for their playoff performances, with whopping 17 second round losses added to their name. It's a record in its own right that one day Fleftics, Allamunnics or even Ko-orenites might break, but the point is that anytime Quebec and Shingoryeo would make it into quarterfinals, it's a success.

And in all honesty, this might quietly be the best time to be an international football fan in this country, as the Reapers have made the quarterfinals four times in last five cycles, which have resulted into a championship game appearance (don't ask about how that went!), a fourth place finish, and getting impaled twice by the inevitability that came in the form of an Ranorian championship team.

Sounds familiar? If it is, you probably watch a lot of NSCF as well. Yay you.

In any case, that's what happened, as the Reapers finished the historic World Bowl L with a fairly convincing quarterfinals L to the eventual champions of Ranoria. But the team seemed to have worked out better than in previous cycles, especially as the new head coach, Theodore Galstian of Bonneville State, reoriented the team under an uptempo, air raid offence and turnover-driven, blitz-friendly 3-4 defence. And strange as it may be, it probably was a better squad than the one right before, even if the public would remember the walk-off field goal and the Cavsarite Delight at Roy Memorial lot better than the flamethrowing fest that was the Quebec-Drawkland 6.0. Better receivers, stronger secondary, and a lateral development and progression of the defensive front seven would certainly do that, even if the offensive line hasn't come back to the heights we've seen a decade ago, and for most part the team seemed to be more in tune playing against high-level competition.

But such is life with the way luck of the draw works.

In any case, we have a slightly different team for the 51st edition of World Bowl, which is set to be held in Drawkland. The rumours of Galstian's decision to part ways with the Reapers and Bonneville State for greener pasture had been around for much of the World Bowl campaign, especially as he had explicitly stated his desire to move up to the highest level of competition, had come true. By the end of January, he resigned, took a highly-coveted offer to return to St. Croix to replace Kirby Wright, and...well, you know the story, Future head coach designate of the Cold Hill University, Theodore Galstian.

In his place is Donovan Nimischuuch. The hall of fame offensive guard, who had played fourteen years with the Banbh Mustangs, had adjusted well to the next phase of his career with three New Year's Six bowl titles by age 42, and while he had yet to win the ever-elusive Tiger Bowl, his record in player development and establishing consistency, one that's best testified by his ability to not finish with a record below 9-3 in each of his five seasons, was more than enough for the QGFC to say 'why not, let's look into the future'.

This stance, one of relative stability and long-term vision for the Reapers, was a fairly predictable one, especially as the QGFC's hoping to distance away from the list of controversial antics that have followed Galstian, but it comes with a warning. At some point, the pressure's going to pile on Nimischuuch to hopefully answer this on strategic ends as well as for every character flaw he carried, Galstian was an outstand coaching. He knew how to put together offensive blueprint, to target opponent weaknesses with impunity, and was also able to present and execute a vision of the Reapers squad that was in every way explosive, emotive and most importantly likeable. You can never replace somebody like that on a whim, so while initial days of the program might be stable, we cannot say that forever and most likely, results will be expected by the 53rd World Bowl. That's not a lot of time.

So in any case, the Reapers bring with them a team that's not changed much on surface. Only 5 players have retired from their national team duties, replaced by 6 players in their place, and you still see a lot of familiar faces especially on the offence with Benoit Youngblood starting at the quarterback, and the receiver corps of Horton, Kweon-McNair and Provost aided by Ryu-Sauvageau halfback tandem. And defensively they might be on a more stable position, especially with defensive coordinator Barnaby Cernugel Jr. and special teams coordinator C.C. Youngblood returning once more, and outside of time, still the same story.

But the backstory for this Reapers team will no doubt be different from the ones before, especially as the Nimischuuch era presents with it a lot of pathways to go. And while no guarantees can be made as to what will happen to the tenth-ranked Reapers, only time will tell if their decision to play safe will pay off in either achieving greater heights, stay a relative status quo...or to crash.

by **Drawkland** » Wed Aug 06, 2025 10:35 pm

WORLD BOWL LI

The logo for this cycle's tournament!

Outbox Conference
Ko-oren 16–10 Drawkland
Andso Mangis 20–33 Rouyoute
Valanora 14–12 Ranoria
Dhemixia 36–0 Natkr
Abanhfleft 7–22 Katzeburg (neutral site)

Plexen Conference
TJUN-ia 20–12 Cardenao
Sea Peoples League 14–54 The Golden Harp
Quebec and Shingoryeo 13–10 Chromatika
Ophiuchus Region 14–26 Vaishnavaria
Terefuxe 21–22 Delaclava (neutral site)

DrawkStar Conference
South Newlandia 28–10 Banija
New Portland Republic 21–16 Riandera
United States of Nova Calania 33–9 The Kytler Peninsulae
Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador 10–19 Lisander
New Umoja 20–37 HUElavia (neutral site)

Conference and Division tables will be available with next cutoff.

by **TJUN-ia** » Thu Aug 07, 2025 3:54 pm

Gridiron Football. The 2nd TJUN-ian sport (chronologically) and one that has always been interesting to us. Some of our earliest shining moments have come from either the World Bowl or the NSCF, a fact that we are proud of as we reflect on our sporting history, and it has been Gridiron that has provided us with some familiar joy over the years. As the World #11, Gus McKerrin knew this position - a dark horse that needed to prove they belonged in that conversation - and with that in mind, the roster shuffle that has happened will make this all the more interesting. For one campaign only, Moses Igbinoghene is the man at the centre of this team, and TJUN-ia will hope he takes this opportunity by the balls. So with that out of the way...the road to Drawkland starts here!

This is a wacky schedule we have on our hands - double round robin against our division and single round robin against the other division - including one game in Drawkland as a neutral site. With all of that in mind, the opening game of the Luxury Division in the Plexen Conference promised to be a scorcher as #1 Cardenao came to the Field of Dreams in The Gardens of New Washington for our first home game against #1 in a long ass time. Everyone knew that this game was an important starting point for both McKerrin and Steve Valentine, so this one was expected to be a war...and so it proved. With everyone fresh and ready to go, everyone seemed to be firing on all cylinders, and this one would go down in the books as an entertaining night in the NAU. Bobby Dials was in command of the Blue and Golds, and he would certainly put on a good effort, finding Deacon St. John for his only TD while Badrick Cedella missed the PAT, but scored 2/4 FGs. But over in the NAU, that was never going to be enough as Igbinoghene managed three TDs on the night - one each to Lucky Sithole-Sita, Yurilka Zelinskaya and Gilbert Nyamutsamba. Glory Oparanozie ended up only claiming 2/3 PATs, but that would be fine as we started this campaign on the right track - beating the World #1 20-12 in an excited Gardens.

And so, this long road has begun. Of the Golden Harp are on their way next before our first road trip of the season in Delaclava.
Things are only going to get hotter from here.
GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Plexen Conference, Luxury Division)
MD1: vs Cardenao (1) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 20-12 (2nd/1-0)
MD2: vs Of the Golden Harp (27) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD3: @Delaclava (17) (CD)
MD4: vs Vaishnavaria (37) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD5: BYE
MD6: @Terefuxe (25)
MD7: vs Sea Peoples League (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD8: @Cardenao (1)
MD9: @Of the Golden Harp (27)
MD10: @Ophiuchus Region (UR) (CD)
MD11: vs Chromatika (7) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD12: vs Terefuxe (25) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD13: vs Quebec and Shingoryeo (10) (CD) - Plexen Stadium, Pittsennat (Neutral)
MD14: @Sea Peoples League (UR)

by **Katzeburg** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 5:08 am

CAMPUS GROUP FILES REQUEST TO END WORLD BOWL EARLY AS WILDCATS SIT ON TOP

By Richard Rider

A group of enterprising UoA students have filed an official request to the organisers of the World Bowl to end the competition after just one conference game as it would allow the Katzeburg Wildcats to be in with a claim at securing their maiden world title.

Katzeburg, a side many projected to be one of the many teams making up the competitors at the 51st edition of the World Bowl, have instead shot to the top of the Outbox Conference following their opening day 22-7 win over Abanhfleft in Drawkland. The unexpected win sees them now battling with Valanora and Dhemixia at the top of the Shake Division with all three sides on one win apiece.

But the Katzeburgians Rallying Against Participation group (KRAP) - an organisation comprising of a number of UoA students in attendance at the opening game in Drawkland - have filed a motion with World Bowl organisers to end the conference stage after the opening game, citing ‘an upcoming shift in sporting conditions which would negatively impact the Katzeburgian side’.

“It’s a sound legal argument we’ve put forward,” claims KRAP co-leader and third year UoA legal student Judy Justicar. “It is plainly unfair that we should be forced to step down from a perfect record purely because we are due to play top tier teams over the coming games, games we are very likely to get our asses handed to us on a silver platter. I mean, come on - we’ve got Ranoria and Ko-oren next up at Aberstadt Stadium, even with some positive momentum, how are we supposed to compete?”

The Wildcats arguably played some of their best football on record in the opening match of their third World Bowl campaign, with coach Cameron Sydney joking with the Lampoon that the opening day win might just be the push of momentum the team has long needed.

“It was a strong showing against Abanhfleft,” Coach Sydney said. “And the fact we managed to keep their offensive drives quiet for the most part while showing a lot of improvement offensively means we have a lot to test ourselves with in the coming games against Ranoria and Ko-oren. It seems like we’re finally in a spot where the team can actually crack on, and if we can match ourselves with some of the top sides in the multiverse over the coming games, who knows? We might finally have that push needed to spark interest in this country.”

But the legal challenge from KRAP will no doubt need to be addressed prior to the side running out against Ranoria - who themselves fell to a tight opening day loss against Valanora. Many of the group members are confident that their request will be accepted, giving the side a perfect record in this edition of the World Bowl and allow for the side to claim a share of the title alongside the other 14 sides that won their opening game.

“It’s like my momma always told me,” KRAP co-ordinator George Porkins told The Lampoon, “A 1/15th share of the title is better than no title at all, now quit sitting under the table and go eat your greens!”

Should the request be granted, it would mark a brave new legal precedent for sporting events across the multiverse, no doubt leading to many sides attempting to file the same request in upcoming competitions of note, in particular next year’s 100th edition of the World Cup - but sources close to the World Bowl organisers suggest the request has been swiftly denied.

Speaking on the condition on anonymity because they wouldn’t want to be quoted in such a high-rated publication as the Lampoon, a source told us that “as soon as the request came in from KRAP it caused the entire office to practically burst into laughter. But once the laughter subsided, someone from the legal team did do the proper due diligence to check it was actually a serious request.

“Upon getting confirmation via phone that the request was actually a legitimate proposal, the office had to shut down for the rest of the day because the amount of laughter coming from the offices drew complaints from people down the road.”

The Lampoon has not yet contacted the World Bowl organisation for comment, as our reporter who normally does that part of the verification process was off on lunch at the time this article was written.

However, it does appear exceedingly likely that the Katzeburgian Wildcats will be hosting Ranoria and Ko-oren over the coming matchdays as the long-standing competition rumbles on, meaning the side will need to somehow hope for another miracle should they want to keep their unbeaten record past the second game.

According to the bookmakers outside Borchard Hall, Ranoria and Ko-oren have incredibly low odds for the upcoming games, with a Katzeburg win in either game just behind “freak meteor hits the stadium and provides a draw” and “Ranoria/Ko-oren accidentally shows up to the wrong stadium and has to forfeit instead” in the odds.

by **Andso Mangis** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 5:56 am

My opponent if they RP first may do the following
Choose Scorers yes
Choose scoring Plays yes
Godmod scoring events Telegram me
RP injuries : if out for a game or above Telegram me
Godmod Injuiries: must be funny
God mod Other just Telegram me
Style Modifier
+2.38
Roster
[["Erik Holmström","QB"],["Lars Andersson","QB"],["Gregor Meier","RB"],["Viktor Nyström","RB"],["Oskar Karlsson","RB"],["Henrik Dahl","WR"],["Mats Sundberg","WR"],["Pontus Ekström","WR"],["Lukas Frei","WR"],["Gregor MacKenzie","WR"],["Jonas Baumann","TE"],["Fabian Schmid","TE"],["Marco Lüthi","OL"],["Pascal Steiner","OL"],["Reto Aeschlimann","OL"],["Sandro Bühler","OL"],["Yannick Kaufmann","OL"],["Dominik Vogel","OL"],["Euan McAllister","OL"],["Callum MacGregor","DL"],["Angus Robertson","DL"],["Fraser MacLeod","DL"],["Liam MacPherson","DL"],["Ross Campbell","LB"],["Cameron MacDonald","LB"],["Finlay Stewart","LB"],["Alistair Gordon","LB"],["Kristoffer Svensson","LB"],["Tobias Olsson","CB"],["Sebastian Andersson","CB"],["Nils Pettersson","CB"],["Simon Lundqvist","CB"],["Adrian Keller","S"],["Matteo Bucher","S"],["Patrick von Arx","S"],["Stefan Gasser","S"],["Kevin Schmid","K"],["Magnus Lindholm","K"],["Anders Lindqvist","P"],["Filip Björk","P"]]
Guys listed first are the starters
Aftrer a 13 point loss to Royette Andso Mangis looks to bounce back. dhexemia Will be a tough matchup but coach thinks that the team will be able to bounce back.
Game Report: It Was twenty to twenty when the dhexemia quaterback ran for a forty three yard touchdown although most people agree they're was a missed holding call on dhexemia after that with two seconds left Andso through up a hail Mary which missed after the tip from Pontus Ekstrom.
Andso Stats
Erik Holmstrom QB 1 touchdown 256 passing yards 1 INT
Gregor Meier RB 13 Touches 79 Yards 3 catches 41 Yards
Henrik Dahl WR 1 Touch 7 yards 8 catches 84 Yards
Gregor Mackenzie WR 5 Catches 72 Yards 1 TD
Baumman TE 4 Catches 28 Yards
Angus Roberstson RE 5 Pressures 2 sacks
Fraser Macleod DT 3 pressures
Alistair Gordon LB 5 tackles 1 TFL
Nils Pettterson CB 7 Tackles 1 INT

by **Rouyoute** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 8:25 am

Rouyoute World Bowl LI Roster

In Rouyoute's fourth World Bowl, the team's going to be fielding a crew that, while a bit motley, has talent in some spots and is at the very least equipped with state of the art training facilities and equipment thanks to the royal family's generous (or vain, take your pick) sponsorship.

Offensively, expect a pass first attack that features extremely unconventional schemes. Johansson is an experimenter at heart and sometimes it's brilliant, sometimes it's a route pattern that never should've been invented. Throw in a talented quarterback who has a tendency to switch between generational brilliance and punch-a-hole-in-your-TV boneheadedness and...it's an interesting show. Lots of longer-developing routes thanks to two quality tackles and a mobile QB.

Defensively, the team will rely on its front seven to disrupt the opposition with their sheer size. The team sports several Drawkian or half-Drawkian players and will lean on their physical prowess to give them an edge against this new level of competition.

Stadium Info:
The Crooked Crown Cap 63,217:

Full Staff:
Head Coach: Henrik Johansson - a disgraced former GLD offensive coordinator who's exotic schemes confuse his passers and opponents alike. Very inconsistent gameplanner.

Offensive Coordinator: Émile Martinsson
Quarterbacks Coach: Mathias Lundqvist
Running Backs Coach: Thierry Lefebvre
Wide Receivers Coach: Guillaume Larsson
Tight Ends Coach: Axel Björk
Offensive Line Coach: François Leclerc

Defensive Coordinator: Jacques Dubois
Defensive Line Coach: Lars Svensson
Linebackers Coach: Pierre Dubois
Cornerbacks Coach: Anton Nilsson
Safeties Coach: Magnus Lindqvist
Special Teams Coordinator: Erik Johansen

Roster Notes:
Captains highlighted in purple, other key players highlighted in blue
Offense:

Quarterbacks:

Julien Girard - 6'3", 215 lb - Improviser. Good-not-great most of the time, but mixes in sensational plays and back-breaking mistakes alike
Baptiste Moreau - 6'6", 240 lb - Gunslinger
Théo Lefebvre - 6', 205 lb - Scrambler - coaches rumored to tell their DBs "just get into your drop and he'll throw you the ball" when he's in

Running Backs:

Nilsson Ekstrom - 6'2", 215 lb - three down back
Hansen Andersen - 5'10", 220 lb - power back/short yardage
Kristensen Pedersen - 6'1", 195 lb - receiving back

Wideouts:
Alexandre Dupont - 7'2", 235 lb - Drawkian jump-ball specialist
Pierre-Louis Martin - 5'11", 190 lb - deep threat
Gabriel Leclerc - 5'9", 190 lb - route runner/slot
Antoine Dubois - 6'2", 205 lb - balanced
Mathieu Rousseau - 6'1", 210 lb - physical
Lucas Bouchard - 6'3", 205 lb - physical
Emile Gagnon - 5'8", 170 lb - deep threat, doesn't get many offensive snaps and has trouble getting open but lethal in space or as a gadget

Tight Ends:

Henrik Jansen - 6'4", 255 lb - Vertical Threat
Théo Bernard - 6'5", 245 lb - Possession
Oskar Bjornsson - 6'3", 260 lb - Blocking
Simon Lindqvist - 6'2", 250 lb - Blocking

Left Tackles:

Gustav Johansson - 7'8"", 340 lb - Drawkian, long arms make it hard to go through him, a bit vulnerable to speed moves due to height
Jérémie Gagné - 6'5", 315 lb - Agile

Left Guards:

Anders Pedersen - 6'3", 295 lb - Agile
Antoine Morin - 6'4", 300 lb - Power

Centers:

Lars Andersen - 6'2", 285 lb - Pass protector
Mathias Lavoie - 6'3", 290 lb - Agile

Right Guards:

Erik Svensson - 6'4", 330 lb - Power
Magnus Lindberg - 6'3", 305 lb - Agile

Right Tackles:

Benjamin Grande - 6'11", 325 lb - Half-Drawkian, power player, similar stylistically to Johansson
Nathan Tremblay - 6'5", 310 lb - Power

Defense:
Left End:
Antoine Moreau - 6'7", 275 lb - power rusher, premier edge threat
Guillaume Roy - 6'3", 250 lb - speed rusher

Defensive Tackle:
Maxime Gagné - 7'4", 355 lb - Drawkian, run stopper - if initial bull rush fails, tends to back off and look to bat down passes, sometimes picks 'em off
Etienne Lavoie - 6'1", 290 lb - power rusher
Marc-André Tremblay - 6'3", 290 lb - run stopper
David Pelletier - 6'4", 300 lb - power rusher

Right End:
Félix Tremblay - 6'3", 255 lb - speed rusher
Olivier Caron - 6'2", 260 lb - power rusher

Linebacker:
Alexandre Deschamps - 6'0", 230 lb - field general
Vincent Girard - 6'1", 240 lb - run stopper
Lucas Roy - 6'2", 235 lb - pass coverage
Samuel Lévesque - 6'0", 230 lb - field general

Cornerback:
Simon Beaudry - 7'1", 235 lb - Drawkian, ballhawk, will often play man coverage against tight ends
William Lavoie - 5'10", 185 lb - denies targets
Olivier Poirier - 6'0", 195 lb - ballhawk
Nicolas St-Pierre - 5'11", 190 lb - denies targets
Félix Bélanger - 5'10", 185 lb - ballhawk

Safety:
Gabriel Gagné - 6'10", 230 lb - big hitter, half-Drawkian, centerpiece of this defense
Édouard Tremblay - 6'0", 195 lb - ballhawk
David Simard - 6'2", 205 lb - denies targets
Xavier Bélanger - 6'1", 200 lb - ballhawk

Special Teams:

Kicker:
Pierre-Louis Gauthier - 6'3", 195 lb - Power

Punter:
Oskar Sørensen - 6'2", 245 lb - Power

Punt and Kick Returners:
Emile Gagnon - 5'8", 170 lb - deep threat, doesn't get many offensive snaps and has trouble getting open but lethal in space or as a gadget
Édouard Tremblay - 6'0", 195 lb - ballhawk
Félix Bélanger - 5'10", 185 lb - ballhawk

by **Valanora** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 10:48 am

Odin Sørbø looked out of the tunnel and and towards the field of the Lathalein Celestial Stadium, feeling a bit weird about rushing on to the field here in a moment as a member of the home team. For four years this was the home of the rivals in Mar Sara Tech, one of the hardest places to go play at in all of the NSCF and had been a bit of a nightmare for Odin during his time with Raynor. It had been the home team of this stadium who had ended his NSCF career in a semifinal when he was so certain that he was going to take the Rockets to back to back championship games and help the school win another championship. Yet that game ended up going the other way, the Raiders pulling off the upset in the nation's capital before then pulling off another upset the following week in the championship game, a feat that many somehow thought was the fifth for a Vanorian school but was only the fourth. Probably the result of so many Ranorian analysts and commentators glazing the Vanorians players and schools, probably a coping mechanism from being beat by Vanorian opposition so much, as well as being somehow illiterate.

Funny now that his first game as the starting quarterback for the national team was going to be against Ranoria, in the home of his former rivals stadium, who were the top ranked team and likely the biggest immediate obstacle for the team to make it to the knockout rounds of the competition. He had studied the game film quite a bit in the week leading up to this game, he knew that the Krauts were going to be quite difficult to move the ball against as they a defense orientated team that took pride in keeping opposing offenses off the board. Oh and they were also the current reigning champions of the tournament, having won the last edition of the tournament on the back of that elite level of defense that stopped opponents dead in their tracks, forcing plenty of three and outs, turnovers, and stalled out drives. He and the coaches had a plan, run away from the side of the defense that Julian Anneliese or Gideon Kearse were lined up on and to make quick decisions, if he got to his third option and no one was open to simply tuck and run or throw it away. There was no point in looking more and risking getting sacked or knocked to the ground over and over again.

The first quarter had gone about as well as anyone could hope, while the offense was struggling to get the ball moving against the stout defense of the Krauts, on the other side of the ball the Sabres were proving surprisingly resilient and forcing the visitors to having to punt on their first two drives. Kasper Ulvestad was continually beating the attempts to block him and was getting interior and stuffing Rylan Rodgers Jr before he could a head of steam and try to plow through the linebackers and secondary of the team. The scouting report that Ranoria was going to try and run the ball down the Sabres throat was proving correct so far and if they could continue to hold strong, there was real chance that they would be able to actually pull off this upset against the reigning champions. The team just needed Odin and the rest of the offense to settle down and find a way to attack the Krauts where they least expected it, get a few drives going and grab a few scores.

Odin saw the play developing out of the corner of his eye the second he called for the hike of the ball, the team down six to nothing with twelve seconds left in the half and the team at the eight yard line. The Krauts were shading the right side of the field were the team had a trips set up with Isaksen, Gundersen, and Midtbø, while Max Strömberg was isolated on the left against Jared Ragnow. Odin took two steps back and tossed a back shoulder fade that was either going to be caught or go out of bounds, as Ragnor gave up four inches in height to Strömberg. The wide out had beaten the corner off the press and was perfectly lined up for a spectacular over the shoulder grab, reeling in the near perfect throw from Odin and made sure to bring his feet in the endzone. Fredrik Mundal trotted on and booted the extra point to give the team a one point edge heading into halftime, the entire outlook of the game having just taken a huge shift with cashing in on a touchdown rather than settling for a field goal like Ranoria had done on both of their second quarter drives, the defense standing tall in the red zone to keep it close.

"Listen Kasper, you guys are doing great and if you keep doing what you are doing, we are going to win this game. They are cocky and confident, they think they are going to stop us the rest of the game. If you can keep them out of the end zone, we are going to win this game. I guarantee it." Odin said before strapping his helmet back on and getting ready for the first drive of the second half. There was a pep in the step of all the team after getting the end of half touchdown to go ahead and having put together a really solid drive. If they could do that a few more times, they were going to be golden.

"We will do what we can, though that running back is a bit of a beast, especially when they are just continually pounding the rock against us. You guys have to get some more sustained drives, even if it ends in a punt after a few first down, we need some time to catch our breath and get ready to go again. This game is a game of attrition Odin and you know as well as I do that is not the type of game we are going to be able to win without some sustained drives." Odin gave a nod and then a pat on the shoulder to the end, knowing what he had to do to get the victory that would definitely be a statement of intent.

4th Quarter, Valanora 7-12 Ranoria. 3:17 remaining
The Sabres were battling hard but were failing to find the scoring touch against the stout defense of the Krauts. On the first drive of the first half, they moved the ball down field but then Mundal had his fifty-two yard attempt dink off the left upright and go wide. The second drive ended with a fourth and three at the Ranoria thirty-four, but Odin's pass to Isaksen sailed high and past the wide out who had run an out route and would have had the first with a more perfect throw. Two more drives ended in the team punting the ball back to Ranoria and the Krauts had marched down the field on both before having to settle for their third and fourth field goals respectively, failing to get a touchdown despite four trips into the red zone. The team's defense was playing a dangerous game in bending but not breaking, though so far it was working quite well, with the Sabres receiving the ball with just a little over three minutes left, knowing that they needed to have a scoring drive now or else all this effort was going to go to waste, they would not get another opportunity.

Odin lined up under center ready to perform some of the same magic that he had during his NSCF career, having helmed plenty of fourth quarter comebacks in his time, as well as having smashed Ranorian schools more than his fair share. In a hurry up offense, Odin started to slice up the Ranoria secondary who were playing a step too far back, likely trying to prevent getting beat for a deep play. Yet passes of five to eight yards were seeing the team slowly but effectively move up the field. Alexander Østby then hit a giant hole in a draw play and the Sabres were across midfield with under two minutes to go. Two more runs later and they were at the thirty-two and the clock was now just a few ticks over a minute left. A jet sweep got another eight yards and forced the Krauts to start using their time outs, as Østby went for another four on a toss to the right. It felt inevitable now and three plays later, Odin hit Isaksen on a slant and the wide out broke the tackle of Akhello Volson and dove into the endzone with eighteen seconds left. Ulvestad sacked Kualu Luani after dipping under Goliath Castellan's attempted block on the first play of the next drive and without any time outs the time ticked away before the Ranorian team could spike it. Despite a less than stellar offensive performance, the Odin era started with a stand out victory against the reigning champions and there was belief this was only the beginning.

by **Chromatika** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 1:37 pm

Legacy of the Firehawk
The Tip

Sometimes, everything hinges on one play. You can have the best plan, you can run the correct route, you can even make the most of the given opportunity in front of you - but there is a reason why everyone at this level is playing to represent their country, and when they succeed in imposing their will on the game, there is nothing that you can do.

Consider the matchup against the Grim Reapers, for example. The Iron Legion were holding on to a 10-6 lead, never having trailed the entire game after scoring a touchdown on the opening drive on a nice in route by Niles Gwivern. A Dwayne Markseon field goal by halftime had put the lead at 10-3, and despite the Grim Reapers getting one field goal back, the Chromatik defense was playing so well that it looked like they would win a tight, defensive victory.

Third and two, the Chromatik twenty-eight yard line, less than three minutes remaining. Convert the first down to continue to make the home team use their time-outs. It hadn't been a spectacular day for Gwenderyn - 17-of-27 for 201 yards and the lone score - but the Chromatik Quarterback was doing fine. The line was holding up well, and she was taking whatever the defense was giving her - even if it meant continuing to feed the ball to Lana Rhodes and Rowena Hastroff despite the fact that the Chromatik backs were averaging less than four yards a carry. The Iron Legion weren't strangers to playing a defensive game, and they knew what was in store for them.

As she took the snap from center and wheeled to the left, she was intending to get the ball to the hot route receiver on this play - Niles Gwivern, the tight end. She planted her right foot and threw the ball - too late to see a closing Frederic Benn-Kocian, who had finally shed the block of one Diedre Gott, who had held him in check for most of the game. It was too late for Benn-Kocian to get to Gwenderyn, but the Quebecois pass rusher did what he was supposed to, getting a finger on the ball to alter the trajectory. The ball seemed to hang in the air forever like a lame duck, a full yard short of where it was supposed to go.

Just in time for Everson Wright III, the outside linebacker, to close and pick it off before anyone could get to it. The defender then stiff-armed a closing Gwivern and outran the rest of the Chromatik squad toward the end zone to flip the game on its head, giving the home crowd something to cheer for.

Gwenderyn's desperate heave on fourth down from midfield would go off of Alessandro Mio's outstretched fingers a few minutes later, and the hosts had the victory.

"He (Benn-Kocian) made the play of the game," Gwenderyn commented afterwards, "When you have the top teams of the world play, it can come down to one tip, one step, one movement - and this time, we fell short."

Not the best start on this campaign - but sometimes, when you play the sport at this level, this is just what happens.

by **Delaclava** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 5:42 pm

Delaclava national football team

Two-time World Bowl champion (13 and 15); one-time runner-up (11); four-time third place (41, 42, 43, 44)
Four-time previous host (11, 15, 39, 43)
Undefeated champions of WB15
Formerly ranked #1 in the World
#5 in all-time Golden Bowl standings*
Champion of demonstration event at IV Olympiad in Aeropag
Champion of Atlantian Oceania Bowl 5

Overview

What hasn't this Phoenixes team done? They've been champions. They've been underachievers. They've been unlucky contenders against giants. They were gay for a brief period in the 90s. Then they were really gay, as in the not good at sports kind. Now they're here just to have some fun and maybe to give the Grid Corps or System Sarai a nasty shock.

The good news for this team is that in the national team's absence from the World Bowl scene, these players have had a little more time to cook in the oven that is the DGL and come into this tournament closer to the primes of their careers. The Phoenixes are helmed on offense by mobile pocket passer Jean-Jacques Prudhomme, with Darius Judy offering a frequent dual threat. The Phoenixes also pack a potent one-two punch at running back with Amari Lane's power and Omar Hunter's speed. A balanced and capable wide receiver corps gives Prudhomme options. The Phoenixes have brought a lot more size on defense than in years past yet retaining the athleticism and conditioning that tends to set Delaclava teams apart. Exemplary of this trend are defensive tackle Khaleb McLaughlin and middle linebackers Max Greer and Marvin Hoferle.

Defensive Formation: 4-3-3 (with some 4-4-2 and 3-4-4)
Style Modifier: +3 - pass-oriented, with a lot of option plays and play action, high-risk high-reward mentality
Team Name: Phoenixes | Trigram: DEL | Demonym: Delaclav

Home Stadium: Eagles Stadium (75,000), Manchester

RP Permissions: You may choose scorers, TG/DM me for anything else.

Full Roster

Head Coach: Kim McClain - Catherina Crushers
Assistant Coach/OC: Kevin Ales - Quinniville Aces | Assistant Coach/DC: Seth Ruzicka - Novick Cardinals
Special Teams: Sidney Carter - Corcorran Hammers | Technical/Program Director: Carl Gleason - Manchester Pirates | Athletic Trainer/Conditioning: Kim Savage - Mannheim Rockets

#	Pos	Name	Age	Height	Weight	Team
1	K	Sebastian Joss	26	6-2	190	Kalinin Wolves
2	FS	Veritude Norton	24	5-7	155	Novick Cardinals
3	QB	Darius Judy	27	6-2	185	Novick Cardinals
5	P	Michael Czerpinski	29	6-4	240	Quinniville Aces
6	RB	Amari Lane	25	6-1	215	Bosmond Bears
10	QB	Jean-Jacques Prudhomme	26	6-4	210	Kalinin Wolves
13	FB	Martin Steiner	28	6-2	235	Kalinin Wolves
16	QB	David Cox	29	6-4	220	Orton City Miners
24	RB	Omar Hunter	25	5-11	180	Novick Cardinals
25	FS	Jaydon Fletcher	30	5-9	160	Corcorran Hammers
26	CB	Freddie Marley	29	5-8	155	Beliri Blades
29	SS	Jackie Bell	28	5-9	170	Valhalla Icemen
30	CB	Mike Blankenship	26	6-0	170	Bosmond Bears
33	CB	Charles Huang	24	5-8	150	Laurelum Tigers
43	OLB	Triston George	25	6-3	230	Valhalla Icemen
44	MLB	Lincoln Brockhouse	32	6-4	260	Novick Cardinals
46	MLB	Max Greer	30	6-4	250	Manchester Pirates
49	OLB	Tanner Hooper	28	6-4	245	Quinniville Aces
52	MLB	Marvin Hoferle	30	6-6	250	Kalinin Wolves
54	MLB	Jason Saner	28	6-6	255	Bosmond Bears
57	DT	Steve Singer	30	6-5	295	Valhalla Icemen
58	DE	Shean Eckert	27	6-3	265	New Quebec Fighters (RFL)
59	OLB	Dan Balasz	31	6-3	260	Valhalla Icemen
60	C	Leon Heiniger	28	6-5	260	Quinniville Aces
63	DT	Leon Rossi	27	6-2	285	Kalinin Wolves
64	RT	Mason Everett	26	6-3	265	Novick Cardinals
65	LT	Kyle Woods	29	6-4	270	Quinniville Aces
68	LG	Dario Belasio	27	6-6	265	Novick Cardinals
71	LT	Jonathan Reiter	26	6-3	260	Laurelum Tigers
72	RG	Nodirbek Magomedov	28	6-3	255	Corcorran Hammers
73	C	Luke Merritt	26	6-4	260	Novick Cardinals
77	RG	Adam Hamerling	27	6-4	255	Bosmond Bears
78	RT	Ryan Nehnevaj	31	6-4	270	Manchester Pirates
80	TE	Ted Riley	27	6-4	225	Orton City Miners
82	WR	Bradley Knox-Arendale	28	5-10	170	Catherina Crushers
83	TE	Pierre-Paul Jackson	28	6-6	230	Corcorran Hammers
84	WR	Michael Sayre	30	6-3	185	Orton City Miners
85	WR	Marco Lorenz	26	6-0	165	Novick Cardinals
88	WR	Vadim Kuniev	25	6-2	180	Kalinin Wolves
92	DT	Khaleb McLaughlin	26	6-5	310	Novick Cardinals
94	DE	Jonno Gill	28	6-5	280	Quinniville Aces
98	DE	Selomon Gezahagne	25	6-5	300	Orton City Miners
99	DE	Byron Jalil	31	6-6	275	Manchester Pirates

Depth Chart

Pos	#	Starter	#	2nd	#	3rd
QB	10	Jean-Jacques Prudhomme	3	Darius Judy	16	David Cox
RB	6	Amari Lane	24	Omar Hunter
FB	13	Martin Steiner
WR (1-3)	82	Bradley Knox-Arendale	88	Vadim Kuniev
WR (2-4)	84	Michael Sayre	85	Marco Lorenz
TE	83	Pierre-Paul Jackson	80	Ted Riley
LT	65	Kyle Woods	71	Jonathan Reiter
LG	68	Dario Belasio	77	Adam Hamerling
C	60	Leon Heiniger	73	Luke Merritt
RG	72	Nodirbek Magomedov	77	Adam Hamerling
RT	64	Mason Everett	78	Ryan Nehnevaj
LE	94	Jonno Gill	98	Selomon Gezahagne
LDT/NT	92	Khaleb McLaughlin	63	Leon Rossi
RDT	57	Steve Singer	63	Leon Rossi
RE	58	Shean Eckert	99	Byron Jalil
LOLB	49	Tanner Hooper	43	Triston George
MLB 1-3 / LMLB	46	Max Greer	54	Jason Saner
MLB 2-4 / RMLB	52	Marvin Hoferle	44	Lincoln Brockhouse
ROLB	59	Dan Balasz	43	Triston George
LCB	26	Freddie Marley	30	Mike Blankenship
SS	29	Jackie Bell	2	Veritude Norton
FS	25	Jaydon Fletcher	2	Veritude Norton
RCB	33	Charles Huang	30	Mike Blankenship
K	1	Sebastian Joss	5	Michael Czerpinski
P	5	Michael Czerpinski	1	Sebastian Joss
KR/PR	6	Amari Lane	26	Freddie Marley	85	Marco Lorenz

by **Ranoria** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 6:56 pm

Fumbling The Golden Bowl:
Krauts Botch Opening Day Against Valanora

HC Isaac Dieter looks giving the cameras a perfect shot of him looking completely stumped as the Krauts fall to Valanora in week one

The Golden Bowl isn't something a ton of people track when it comes to talking trash. But for a team like the Krauts who are quickly putting themselves in the conversation as one of the greatest teams in the sport's history, it's something that matters. And every time they win a world championship, they earn themselves an opportunity to climb the rankings.

The Golden Bowl is the "linear" championship of the World Bowl. In almost all cases, it rests with the reigning champion at the end of the World Bowl, until they lose a game in the next tournament. It can briefly be attained without winning a championship by knocking off the carrier and all. But one thing the Krauts haven't been great at is winning a bunch of games while they're holding it - meaning that in the more obscure World Bowl records, they're not too impressive on that front.

Drawkland has the most wins with the Golden Bowl in hand with 44, followed by the Allamunnic States with 43. Dancougar and Delaclava come in at 39 and 35, respectively, as the true top end of that metric...and then Ranoria rests at number five, with just 25 wins. One great run could have closed the gap, but instead, the Krauts failed to capitalize on it at all. Which is a real problem - because just one win behind them, Banija sits at 24.

"I'm not too interested in the Golden Bowl or anything," Gideon Kearse shrugged when asked about it before the season, "But I don't want the Serpent Eagles passing us up on any front, much less something involving championship of any kind."

Having gotten put down by Valanora in week one, the Krauts' best chance now is likely to snag it back in the rematch in Ranoria City and rack up some wins there - but any chance of passing up Delaclava is dead at this point in World Bowl 51. And with Drawkland in the other conference, there's a very real chance they snag it from the Sabers and end up adding to their own record 44 Golden Bowl victories. Of course, that's not the only thing this team is worried about.

Katzeburg is projected to be an easy victory even on the road - but the Outbox conference is brutally stacked. Drawkland, Ranoria, and Ko-oren have eleven World Bowls between them, and Ranorians know as well as anyone Abanhfleft is a team that can give anyone a run once in awhile. Natkr, Dhemixia, and Rouyoute are pretty much cannon fodder obviously, but Kraig Celly's off-putting and unnatural looking mustache seem to have something in the works, and then Valanora rounding out the conference means every slip up - even in tough matchups like the one they just lost - could hurt the team's playoff seeding.

"Yeah, we've got a tough schedule," admitted Kualu Luani at the postgame presser, "But that's why we're here. To play the best of the best. You think I don't want to be under center when we face off against legends of the sport like the Grid Corps or the Dragonflies? Logan Oakley man, he's young, he's dangerous. I'm getting a bit long in the tooth, but we both want to prove ourselves on this level. It's a great opportunity."

Luani did appear on the injury report heading into the game against Katzeburg. Listed as probable with a knee injury - but he didn't miss any time in practice and assured the extra treatment was purely precautionary. Going back to his college days, he's only missed four games due to injuries - so we can probably assume he's safe. If he were to go down, well, relying on a Deondre Rhine that's probably not even as good as the disastrous version of himself we saw in Bwanzuba can't be expected to go well.

El Paso, Ranoria

Stacy shoved two fingers into the glass of the convenience store's door to flip it open, carefully nursing her drink in hand, the chilled condensation of the aluminum doing little to fight off the midday sun. The worn padding of her shoes did little to cushion her steps against the cracked, uneven concrete as she made her way back. Bagged eyes flicked from window to window. Someone must be watching, must be onto her, right?

She brought the can up to flick at the bottle top with her thumb, but held off for a second. Nose flinched as she passed by the manhole that always reeked of waste, a few more heavy steps, then the familiar pop and hiss of carbonation before the Raze energy touched her lips.

The cool liquid finally offered some relief from the heat, and the bubbles fizzing briefly in her mouth gave her some instant alertness.

The sound of a ball bouncing on a nearby makeshift court didn't alert her, nor the sirens in the distance, the can dangling in one hand while her index and middle fingers rubbed against one another incessantly. "I'm close," she muttered under her breath as her solitary hike through the street's of Ranoria's most brutally hot city continued. Worn down cars sent gusts of less than ideal city air whirling about, heated arguments permeated cheap exterior walls of a building here and there, and the crisp carbonation of her drink broke it up with that little bit of dopamine she needed to get through the day.

So naturally, she'd downed it by the time it was downed. The door handle gave a little when she grabbed onto the knob, but she felt it catch and jammed her shoulder into it. Once - twice - there it went, dragging across her parents' cheap laminated flooring, but the soft interior light and air conditioning was a welcome escape from the nastiness outside.

Stacy spun around the door and jammed it shut, then darted up to her room in a blur before anyone could interrupt her with some conversation about what she was doing with her life, and when she locked the door behind her, her eyes widened for the first time that day - whether her interest or the caffeine was beating out fatigue, she may never know, but there it was. A web of scarlet threads pinned to her wall, some connected to missing persons reports, articles of mysterious happenstances, and a few images that may or may not have been completely faked.

But in the middle of it all, just a blank piece of notebook paper.

No scribbled notes. No hard picture of what she was searching for, no description, no name. Because she wasn't that far yet - she hadn't seen it, hadn't figured out its behaviors well enough to give it a name. But she knew it was there - lurking in the shadow that was El Paso, in all its stench and ruin of a once-great city. And it was only getting more bold as it learned - no one batted an eye at anything in this wannabe frontier on the edge of Ranoria.

by **The Fanboyists** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 7:35 pm

General Information

Nation Full Name: The Archipelagic Republic of Terefuxe
Nation Informal Name: Terefuxe (Pronounced "Teh-Reh-Foo-Sheh")
Population: approx. 500 million
Languages: Terefuxien (creole), Allamunnic (English), Eonese (Astur-Leonese)
Capital: Ottonia (executive), Langreus (Legislative), Innsboro (Administrative)
Largest Cities: Dunnmaar, Onneria, Ohmory, Koppenhulm, Spaal, Staalburg

Team Nicknames: The Regulars (legacy nickname), the Herd, Blue & White

RP Permissions
Choose my scorers: Yes; please use the notes, though; players are shown in depth-chart order.
Godmod scoring events: Yes, but keep it reasonable.
RP injuries to my players: Yes, but limit severity to game-ending; I will decide severity beyond that.
Godmod Injuries to my players: Yes, but see above proviso.
Suspend my players: Yes, but keep it reasonable; the team is meant to be fairly disciplined, so it should take something exceptional to make a character act out like that.
Godmod suspension events: Yes, but see above proviso.
Godmod other events: Please TG me about what you have in mind. I am also reachable on the NSSport Discord.

Style Modifier: +0

Coaching Staff

Head Coach & General Manager: Torren Tormundsun (Age: 49) - When the call went out to reconstitute the Regulars leading up to World Bowl 47, the person who stepped forward, having maintained contact with the national team’s players and staff during the difficult hiatus, was former national team fullback and odd-jobs coach Torren Tormundsun. Tormundsun, even as a player, was a jack of many skills and prided himself on doing often thankless jobs with aplomb to clear the way for his teammates, and he's brought an adaptable, enthusiastic energy to the new team.

Offensive Coordinator: Odie Iarlsun (Age: 47) - A literally-towering figure on the sideline, long-time national team tight-end and all-around role-player Udun Jarlsun has taken over as the offensive coordinator and general offensive skills coach, given his own technical skills as both a blocker and pass-catcher. He’s proven to be a good teacher and has the kind of adaptability Tormundsun is hoping to build in this new generation of Regulars.

Defensive Coordinator: Karlus Walturs (Age: 54) - Long-time national team linebacker and defensive skills coach Kyl Walturs heads up the defensive unit. Much like Jarlsun and Tormundsun, part of what got him the job was his adaptability, lack of marriage to a specific system or front, and understanding of the whole defense.

Special Teams Coordinator: Wyatt Skode (Age: 58) - Long-time national team punter and previous special teams coordinator Wyatt Skode returns to head up the team’s special unit once again. Skode also serves as the kicking skills coach.

The Offense

Base Front: Flex-Pistol (QB at pistol depth, fullback behind, wingbacks in slot or behind tackles, ends either tight or split wide)
Overview: The Terefuxien offense is at its core meant to be adaptable and flexible based on what looks and vulnerabilities an opponent shows; it demands its quarterbacks to be competent throwers and runners, its wingbacks/tailbacks to be capable ball-handlers whether they are taking hand offs or catching passes, and decent blockers besides, and for its ends to be blockers and receivers alike. However, the foundations of the offense, the fundamentals, are rooted in the spread-option attack, making heavy use of the principles that make read-option, triple-option, and run-pass option plays so difficult to defend, to force defenses to be wrong no matter what. It's a fundamentally methodical offense, meant to opportunistically take what defenses give, whether that's in the middle, on the flanks, or to punish defenses with deep shots should they prove too enthusiastic to take away the short game.

The offense is also built on teamwork and having very little ego; every player in the unit has at least some blocking skill, and there's enough team speed and athleticism to make a defense pay for sloppy play. That said, as with the defense, there are constraints to who the team has been able to recruit; the offense probably won't have the strongest, fastest, or biggest players on the field, but as a unit they might be player-for-player as fast or strong, or more.

While the offense primarily works out of pistol formations using a variety of backs, tight ends, and wideouts, it should not surprise opponents to see the unit line up in flexbone, wishbone, or single-wing looks. Also, that old Regulars' standby, the I-formation and its many, many variants are very much still on the table. There are very few fronts this unit won't show in a given game, really, and part of their danger lies in their abilities to run the same plays out of different looks.

Quarterback:
#07 - Theodurus “Theo” Falkenburg - Age: 25; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 212lbs - Dual-Threat
#22 - Bernhard “Bernie” Torres - Age: 29; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 230lbs - Balanced

Over the last few years, Theo Falkenburg has taken over as the team’s starting quarterback due to his higher overall ceiling; while Bernie Torres still gets playing time due to his greater reliability (Falkenburg can be a little turnover prone at his worst), Falkenburg has the bigger arm and greater speed to be a threat through the air and on the ground. Torres is a well-rounded, if unspectacular quarterback who provides a steady hand in a variety of fronts if Falkenburg needs to come out or the team needs to put away a game in which they’re leading.

Running Backs:
#83 - Riktun Ellinger - Age: 28; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 244lbs - Power
#25 - Xose Serrano - Age: 26; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 210lbs - Balanced
#23 - Rudolfu Fierro - Age: 24; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 232lbs - Power
#09 - Gilburt Solis - Age: 28; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 203lbs - Speed

Bellcow back duties have been taken over by a slimmed-down former blocking back/end Riktun Ellinger. In shedding about ten pounds over the last couple of years, Ellinger has discovered a bit of a burst that can make him dangerous inside the tackle box. He’s still not much of a home-run threat, but he can badly gash a team that doesn’t properly load the box. Xose Serrano is a versatile, do-it-all back who will see plenty of snaps across different situations. Rudy Fierro is a power back in a similar mold to Ellinger, but with less versatility as a lead blocker. Solis is a third-down/scatback who will mostly see snaps in obvious passing situations or in option or jumbo sets; he might also line up as a wide receiver in situations where the Regulars need to air it out.

Tight End:
#88 - Arlo Villanueva - Age: 27; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 245lbs - Balanced
#86 - Jarret Kruger - Age: 30; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 252lbs - Balanced
#84 - Felipe Godwyn - Age: 32; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 260lbs - Blocking

The Regulars have a proud tradition of elite, game-wrecking tight-ends, and Arlo Villanueva is the latest standard-bearer in that lineage. While he started off as primarily a receiving tight-end, his blocking has improved tremendously over the years ensuring he basically never comes off the field. His #2 is Jarret Kruger, a formerly blocking-focused tight end who has picked up a few tricks in the passing game to become a well-rounded threat in his own right in the short and intermediate passing game. Villanueva and Kruger’s skills mean that the Regulars will utilize two-tight sets quite often. Their group is rounded out by blocking-oriented end Felipe Godwyn, who will mostly see time in goalline and short-yardage situations.

Wide Receiver:
#02 - Fredrik “Fred” Kaldur - Age: 27; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 211lbs - Balanced
#18 - Leopult Skeller - Age: 27; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 204lbs - Speed/Deep
#13 - Petru “Pete” Yamada - Age: 25; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 212lbs - Balanced
#81 - Soren Renner - Age: 29; Height: 6’2; Weight: 236lbs - Possession

Fred Kaldur has made the gradual journey from running back to primarily lining up as a wide receiver. He’s a canny, chain-moving threat with enough speed to be dangerous deep. He might also line up in the backfield at times and take carries. Leo Skeller is the team’s primary deep threat, a rocket-fast and bendy pass-catcher who doesn’t have the bulk to muscle through defenders and with indifferent hands. Pete Yamada is a well-rounded receiver who will rotate pretty freely with Kaldur and Skeller, and one way he distinguishes himself is his aggressiveness in attempting to make a play on the ball; it’s rare for him to lose track of a ball or let a defender get to it first. This is a skill Soren Renner shares, although the converted tight-end doesn’t have the kind of deep speed that the other wideouts bring to the table. He’ll do most of his damage in the short-and-intermediate passing games, or over the middle.

Left Tackle:
#72 - Benjamin Kyrk - Age: 35; Height: 6’6”; Weight: 329lbs
#75 - Terrance Darrenburg - Age: 24; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 324lbs
#54 - Iustus Waldron - Age: 20; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 320lbs

Left Guard:
#64 - Rolynd Bernhart - Age: 31; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 321lbs
#57 - Sancho Merino - Age: 26; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 310lbs
#60 - Gerald Staalburg - Age: 20; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 305lbs

Center Guard:
#52 - Erik Tyrrsun - Age: 36; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 317lbs
#65 - Donalt Wyllemsun - Age: 29; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 313lbs
#55 - Theoden Rodrigus - Age: 20; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 302lbs

Right Guard:
#63 - Jordyn “Jord” Eller - Age: 33; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 319lbs
#55 - Euron Garcia - Age: 25; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 310lbs
#61 - Erik Grayhulm - Age: 20; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 305lbs

Right Tackle:
#77 - Matteus Kleiner - Age: 31; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 324lbs
#74 - Belisario Martinus - Age: 23; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 323lbs
#71 - Danilo Hasegawa - Age: 20; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 316lbs

The Regulars tend to deploy their offensive line in units: barring injury, the 1’s, 2’s, and 3’s will all rotate regularly, but the team tends to do full line changes to keep the same players together and build line chemistry. The Kyrk-Bernhart-Tyrrsun-Eller-Kleiner line has the most bulk and overall strength and will see the most snaps in obvious running situations. The Darrenburg-Merino-Wyllemsun-Garcia-Martinus line have a little more youthful quickness, if not the same mass-driving potential. The Waldron-Staalburg-Rodrigus-Grayhulm-Hasegawa line is more raw in technique but make up for it in sheer aggression; they might miss a block, but they will also make sure to finish their blocks.

The Defense

Base Front: 5-1-5
Overview: The Terefuxien defense's base personnel package/formation is sometimes called "the hourglass defense" due to the 5-1-5 (or, more accurately, 3-2-1-2-3) configuration it has: faced with a difficulty in recruiting premium edge rushers, prototypical linebackers, and proper lock-down cornerbacks, the team makes use of a defense that uses three down linemen (roughly 4-3 defensive tackles or 3-4 defensive ends in skill and size), a pair of 'tweener' Rush Linebacker/defensive end hybrids as defensive linemen/attack-oriented linebackers, one "true" linebacker designated as the "centerfielder", a pair of box safety/linebacker hybrid Rovers, and three "defensive backs" most analogous to free safeties in other systems. What this means is that in most base packages, the team defaults to a Cover-3 shell (although Cover-1 and Cover-2 are not unusual, and in practice the defense often looks a lot like a Tampa-2 scheme), plays a lot of zone defense, and consistently brings five rushers, sometimes six on blitzes.

For writing purposes, it's safe to assume that a lot of the team's big plays on defense will involve either at least one Rover, the Centerfielder, or maybe the "Hammers" (the OLB/Defensive End hybrids), as these players have the most freedom to freelance and make plays to disrupt the offense in an aggressive manner. Philosophically, the defense is mostly a "bend-but-don't-break" unit; the expectation is that with the personnel available, just straight-up stopping most offenses cold isn't practical, but a lot of effort is made to limit or eliminate big plays, counting on good coaching (gang tackling, good coverage and rush fundamentals) to gum up the short stuff rather than scheming aggressively for negative plays.

In most situations, the defense will stick to its base personnel package unless the offensive personnel make it heinously impractical; jumbo/goal-line sets from the offense usually mean one or two DB's will be replaced with additional linemen, exceptionally receiver-heavy personnel groups will likely see a hammer and the centerfielder replaced by DB's, etc. Most of the units also rotate fairly freely, at leas between the first and second-stringers. Some units, like the defensive backs and defensive line, will also pretty readily loop in the third-stringers; there's not a wide gulf in skill level between the nominal starters and the nominally-deep reserves.

Defensive Line:
#94 - Leonyrd Ibanus - Age: 30; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 311bs -
#76 - Markus Eriksun - Age: 28; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 318lbs -
#97 - Hiroji Maeda - Age: 29; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 306lbs -
#70 - Felix Lanning - Age: 28; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 312lbs -
#91 - Gregur Bruenig - Age: 26; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 307lbs -
#68 - Izaak Ellswerth - Age: 29; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 311lbs -
#92 - Jordyn Hensley - Age: 28; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 315lbs -
#95 - Erik Leonburg - Age: 26; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 309lbs -
#99 - Henning Andrsun - Age: 27; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 306lbs -

The defensive line is going to be one of the most freely-rotating units on the team; there's very little difference in skill level between the top three (Ibanus, Eriksun, Maeda) and the bottom three (Hensley, Leonburg, Andrsun), and part of the effort to keep the entire unit relatively fresh is that the players are encouraged to tag in and out amongst themselves; while there are specific situations where certain players are desired on the field at the same time (Eriksun, Hensley, and Lanning will be in together in obvious rushing situations, Maeda, Andrsun, and Bruenig are likely to be in together in situations that require more pass rush), for the most part they are relatively interchangeable. The Terefuxien defensive line is probably not the biggest or strongest, but they're not slouches and are not likely to get pushed around by just anyone without some extra effort.

Hammer:
#54 - Ryan Mueller - Age: 28; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 286lbs -
#93 - Danyl Innus - Age: 30; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 283lbs -
#90 - Frank Geller - Age: 27; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 276lbs -
#59 - Anders Olesun - Age: 32; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 281lbs -
#56 - Erik Facundus - Age: 29; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 276lbs -
#98 - Taran Lanning - Age: 26; Height: 6’4”; Weight: 285lbs -

The "Hammer" position in the Terefuxien defense is essentially a hybrid defensive end/outside linebacker role aimed at attacking the backfield, whether that's in the pass rush, disrupting short and horizontal passing lanes, or stuffing the run. The position is typically played by players who were too small to be "proper" defensive ends and too big to be "proper" outside linebackers, and the position is mostly built to remove as much coverage responsibility from these players as possible, allowing them to more aggressively make plays behind the line, one way or another, or to assist the defensive line. Most of the players have similar skill sets and skill levels; the main player to watch out for is Danyl Innus, who has shown a knack for finding the ball with his longer frame, whether that's strip-sacking QBs or grabbing at low throws in the flats.

Centerfielder:
#08 - Faustinu Garcia - Age: 29; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 241lbs -
#44 - Henrik Thorsun - Age: 26; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 233lbs -
#01 - Jaesun Atwood - Age: 31; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 235lbs -

The only "true" linebacker deployed by this defense in most cases is the "Centerfielder", inspired by the unique role given to former Regular Claetus U'Daanyl. The position calls for a good deal of coverage ability, as well as the speed and power needed to contribute situationally to stuffing the run or rushing the passer; on top of this, in most instances the centerfielder serves as the defensive signal-caller. Because of the high importance of the role, in most instances Faustinu Garcia will rarely leave the field. If he needs to, Henrik Thorsun will come in, and he can acquit himself well, although he's less of a game-wrecker than Garcia, but Atwood is highly unlikely to come in unless injuries force the issue. Since their job is to anchor the middle of the defense, it's going to be rare that the Centerfielder isn't around the ball on a given play.

Rover:
#46 - Mikel Deucampu - Age: 27; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 232lbs -
#40 - Rudolfu Fernandus - Age: 28; Height: 6’3”; Weight: 229lbs -
#03 - Karlus Falkenburg - Age: 25; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 220lbs -
#32 - Bryndun Nunyus - Age: 26; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 221lbs -
#38 - Edwyrd Izaaks - Age: 28; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 226lbs -
#17 - Olevur Hewards - Age: 27; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 225lbs -

Arguably the second-most demanding position in the Terefuxien defense, the Rovers, much like the Centerfielder, get asked to do it all, although they are not asked to be quite as strong against the run as the CF. Still, it will be rare for the Rovers to not either be in coverage, or right near the ball, as they exist as second-echelon defense against the run (to bring down the ball-carrier if the first wave of defenders fails), coverage against shorter passes, and, in blitzing situations, as situational pass-rushers. In this case, there's a bit of a skill drop-off between the top three players and the bottom three; while Nunyus, Izaaks, and Hewards will all see the field to spell the top three and assist in appropriate situations, they're easier to pick on than Deucampu (the hardest-hitting and best run-defending Rover), Fernandus (the best of the Rovers in coverage and the best form-tackler), and Falkenburg (the brother of back Theo Falkenburg, and the most instinctive playmaker, albeit the youngest and least technically-sound of the top three).

Defensive Back:
#41 - Lawrent Faramund - Age: 29; Height: 6’2”; Weight: 203lbs
#31 - Garrett Junsun - Age: 27; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 205lbs -
#27 - Xose Estevus - Age: 29; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 209lbs -
#36 - Altan Erdemsun - Age: 28; Height: 5’9”; Weight: 194lbs -
#19 - Edwyrd “Eddie” Dunn - Age: 26; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 188lbs -
#43 - Vincenzu “Vinny” Grimaldu - Age: 25; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 190lbs -
#28 - Josef “Jo” Fredrick - Age: 26; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 196lbs -
#12 - Harrisun “Harry” Denning - Age: 27; Height: 5’10”; Weight: 201lbs -
#26 - Wendel Barr - Age: 27; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 198lbs -

The "defensive back" position for the Terefuxien defense is most-analogous to the safety/free safety position on other teams; these players are mostly expected to play over the top coverage and generally limit deep plays from happening or causing much damage. As such, these players are almost exclusively going to be found in coverage or as last-ditch run-defenders. They will generally not come up to attack the run in its early stages, have little to no pass-rush utility, and generally will start off lined up relatively far back compared to most cornerbacks. In instances of man coverage (although relatively uncommon with this team), usually there will be at least one, possibly two DB's remaining in high cover-1 or cover-2, leaving the shorter coverage to the Rovers. With the exception of Lawrent Faramund, the DB's don't have much skill drop-off between the top-three and bottom three, although generally-speaking the amount of playing time will decrease as you go down the list. Faramund is the closest to a true do-it-all ballhawking safety, while Junsun and Estevus can, in a pinch, do a decent job of impersonating more conventional cornerbacks. Dunn is an instinctive ballhawk but kind of a crappy tackler, while Erdemsun is the reverse, a hard-hitting last-line guy whose hands may as well be bricks. Grimaldu is technically-sound and fairly quick but just doesn't quite have the awareness or frame to really box out bigger receivers.

Special Teams

Kicking Specialist:
#15 - Harald Alexandrus - Age: 30; Height: 5’8”; Weight: 179lbs - Place-Kicker
#04 - Batu Darrenburg - Age: 25; Height: 5’9”; Weight: 217lbs - Punter
#29 - Holden Felicitanu - Age: 24; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 211lbs - Kick-Off Specialist
#96 - Rikardu d’Mirandes - Age: 29; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 206lbs - Generalist

Harald Alexandrus is a technician of a kicker with a somewhat lackluster leg for this level of competition; he's quite accurate out to about 45 yards, and very consistent, but his accuracy begins dropping beyond that and any kick longer than 50 yards is likely to get dicey. Darrenburg is a converted rugby player and is the avid student of special teams coordinator Wyatt Skode, which means he's very much ahead of the curve but is still learning. He's got a solid leg, but nothing exceptional. Felicitanu is kind of the opposite of Alexandrus; his placement is spotty, but he has a big leg and can knock kicks deep. If the team needs to attempt a 55+ yard field goal, Felicitanu will likely make the attempt, and he handles most kick-offs unless the team is attempting an onside or squib kick. d'Mirandes straddles the line between all three, and can acquit himself decently in any of these duties, since he's the reserve kicker, but he's highly unlikely to even dress for most games unless injuries become an issue.

Long-Snapper:
#69 - Junsun Gneiss - Age: 31; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 274lbs - Primary Longsnapper
#45 - Janus Hult - Age: 26; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 298lbs - Reserve Center

Gneiss is the longsnapper. He's reliable. The most noteworthy thing about him is wearing the number #69 and having a last name pronounced like "Nice". Otherwise, the idea is generally to not hear about him. Hult is closer to being a deep-reserve center than anything else, but he does also count as the back-up long-snapper should anything happen to Gneiss.

Return Specialist:
#25 - Sunny Estrada - Age: 27; Height: 5’9”; Weight: 179lbs - Reserve Tailback
#80 - Ronyld “Ronny” Weller - Age: 25; Height: 5’10”; Weight: 198lbs - Reserve Tailback/DB
#87 - Jenni Saxton - Age: 26; Height: 5’8”; Weight: 176lbs - Reserve Defensive Back
#85 - Robert Heller - Age: 27; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 202lbs - Reserve Tailback

The Terefuxiens are not well-known for their excellent return game; the most noteworthy thing about these players is their secure hands and relative quickness that will allow them to secure kicks, get some return yardage, and get to the ground before they risk losing the ball. Any of them might see action; Heller's probably the sturdiest of the bunch, so if there's not much room to maneuver (short punts, for instance), he's more likely to be back, while Estrada and Saxton are more likely to take longer kicks.

Gunner:
#14 - Atum Temir - Age: 26; Height: 6’0”; Weight: 230lbs - Reserve Rover
#47 - Edwyrd “Ed” Hastings - Age: 26; Height: 5’11”; Weight: 231lbs - Reserve Rover/Fullback
#16 - Trentyn Staal - Age: 26; Height: 6’1”; Weight: 226lbs - Reserve Rover
#23 - Sylvester Furstenburg - Age: 28; Height: 5’10”; Weight: 232lbs - Reserve Rover

While these players all specialize as tacklers, most of them are also reserve rovers and will be in on most special teams plays. They might even play on the hands team in the event of onside kick attempts.

by **Dhemixia** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 7:56 pm

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first headline was sarcastic but Jerry Atkinson might actually save us all

Schedule

blue matchups are at home
yellow matchups are neutral site
~~MD1: vs. Natkr~~ W 36-0 (1st)
MD2: vs. Andso Mangis
MD3: vs. Rouyoute
MD4: @ Abanhfleft
MD5: vs. Katzeburg
MD6: vs. Ranoria
MD7: @ Valanora
MD8: @ Natkr
MD9: BYE
MD10: vs. Ko-oren
MD11: @ Drawkland
MD12: @ Ranoria
MD13: @ Katzeburg
MD14: vs. Valanora

Jerry Atkinson still has the sauce.

After being out of college ball for a season, you'd imagine the man would deteriorate both physically and mentally from his UCP form, but he's just him. He's not affected by weak things like "being out of shape" or "losing his quarterback instinct", he simply has so much aura that these things can't happen to him. From an opposing standpoint, this is a nightmare situation, a guy who's basically Larry CunningHIM but less of a beer shotgunner in parking lots at 2 am and more of a beer drinker in parking lots at 2 am. In a vacuum, with zero quality players surrounding him much like NSCF 29, he's very easy to contain because the only thing he can depend on is himself, but when you put him with all-time UCP talent (that's not exactly saying much but you understand where i'm going with this) like he has right now, he's downright DANGEROUS and a threat to both everyone on defense and in the stadium. Let me be clear here, Atkinson isn't generationally dangerous in the context of actually good gridiron NTs like Ranoria, Valanora, and Chromatika, but he's dangerous in the context of Dhemixian football: He will give lower-potted teams like Drawkland, Rouyoute, and Natkr a bad time, and that's not a threat either. That's a promise.

He promised to give Natkr a bad time and give Natkr a bad time he did. He's back to his college ways with a game like this, and it could not have come at a better time for the newly founded Dhemixian Gridiron NT. As the only QB to ever win a playoff game for UCP, and by proxy all of Dhemixia, Jerry Atkinson is simply just him. Four touchdowns, one on the ground, 0 interceptions, and all without his partner in crime for his whole college career, native Utahn, Kabe Heaton. Statlines like that are how you win ballgames, and winning ballgames is how you win a World Bowl. Before the Atkinson doubters (also known as rational Nashville Sabercats fans) can go to their old bread & butter, the classic "but it's against *insert low-ranked team here*!!!", they need to understand that Natkr still is a football team, and that it doesn't invalidate Atkinson's greatness if he goes off against a worse team than Ranoria. Will these answers change the instant Dhemixia loses for the first time? Most likely, yes. Does that matter because it's not convenient to my narrative? No. Point being, as long as there is an opposing football team on the field, no matter their rank, Jerry Atkinson is going to lock in to the best of his ability against all of them.

Being the team that's technically at the top of the conference because they won their first game by the largest margin, the Serpents could not have more momentum on their side, of which the soccer NT desperately requires to have any type of success. Also, before Drawkian haters mention how "there's a first time for everything" when Dhemixia leading the table is brought up, just know, that includes Drawkland winning a WBC. Oh wait, there hasn't been a first time for that one yet, has there. Surely it'll happen soon, right? It's not like 20 cycles was enough time to win one anyways. Back to the main point, even though as enjoyable as ragebaiting Drawkian sports fans is, Dhemixia is geared up to cause some disruption this tournament, it just depends if Kraig Celly is as much of a Possession Philanthropist as Kelly was, or if his alter ego has turned a corner and is becoming a Snap Stockpiler. We'll only see as the tournament continues. To do that, the Serpents will have to travel to Drawkland to face fellow unranked side Andso Mangis at a neutral site. While the atmosphere was absolutely electric at The Brig and probably contributed to a couple stops here and there, you wonder if travelling to Drawkland becomes a home field for any team opposing Dhemixia, based on the track record of Drawkians doing anything in their power solely to spite Dhemixians and their sports teams. Only time will show if that's the case, but if it is, game recognizes game. We'll just have to see if Kraig Celly can lock in simultaneously with Jerry Atkinson under center.

by **Quebec and Shingoryeo** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 8:46 pm

Four Weddings and a Funeral

PART 2.11 - MARIUS - The Dawn

It was around five thirty in the morning in the Cite Universitaire district of Joongyeong, as the early-March fog started to clear around the district of townhouses and converted duplexes. Marius E. Kim woke up, mostly upon noticing that the sun's yet to rise in the nation's capitol, and then was relieved when he realised that today was going to start late for him. Everything was still quiet and tranquile, with his girlfriend, Patricia Hauck, deep asleep right next to him, while the cold air blew outside to fit the final wave of perennial cold and snow that both the nation and the capitol were famous for.

Nothing new, Marius thought to himself, as he quietly wiggled his way out of the bed. He then grabbed the cigarette packet, his usual brand of B&H, and went to the other room to smoke there. The number of steps he had needed to get to there, which was separated by their living room, were 23, which also amounted to how many years he's lived so far in the world. Sometimes there would be a plus or minus or one or two, but the range remained relatively the same.

'Mmm,' Marius grunted as he arrived in the room. Upon noticing his sofa and the adjacent tea table, latter of which he somehow managed to keep clean after lighting a stick or two last night, he slowly lied backwards and lit his cigarette. 'Mmmm...mmmm...'

He slowly inhaled the smoke, welcoming the quietness of the room and the morning, as he made sure to not hurry. Not that he needed to anyway - growing up in his parents' small farm in the Hills of Madeleine, which was then followed by a fairly leisurely time at the University of Kingston's Trinity College, and then Universite St. Croix's Tricentennial College for his postgraduate farm, had taught him little of the work ethics but all the confidence and patience to pursue as he see fit.

Unlike his grandfather.

Now this was something that he was used to hear for so long. Not that it was anything surprising anyway - without the awareness of his surname, most people would already identify Marius to look closer to his mother, Marina Echeverri-Quigley, or even the Casavants of his paternal grandmother, Meghan. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, especially when Marina herself came from a perfectly stable middle class family and the Casavants held huge political and financial capitol of their own in Joongyeong, but it was always going to be hard when you would be compared to the iconic Arsene Pineau Kim, who was first Liberal prime minister to be elected in 68 years 25 years ago and was the only one in the party to have won consecutive terms in last 125 years (since 1945, that's correct).

Not that it had mattered that much to Marius anyway. Marius, who was born two years into his grandfather's term, don't remember much of his early childhood other than his grandmother coming to visit them in the farm, or the family of three spending time at her grandparents' farm. He knew very well that when he was one, after Marina had graduated from Queen's College, Meghan bought Marina and 20-year-old Marcel a 200-acre farm. It was very well understood by everybody back then that the Prime Minister and his wife were so elated though surprised - how many PMs can say that their child's becoming a teen parent? - that most looked away and nodded to it as a matter of natural course.

And while most of the homeliness there, where he grew up until he went away, was far from what he had built up with Pat here, it certainly left him a sense of relaxed demeanour that suited to his generation better than that of those before. And that was fine, considering the context. As only child to renowned Acadianan professors at St. Croix, Arsene Pineau Kim lived a very intensive life that began with squash, then legal and policy studies, before moving onto a quick rise in politics. Gifted with splendid charisma, meticulous drive to push through initiatives and the fact he was the middle-ground candidate of Agnes Lawrence's progressives and Bahng Seung-Weon's red dogs, he made sure to waste no time in pushing through reforms, held rallies almost every day, and rode and died on media.

In all honesty, Marius knew his best interest was to not get to that level. To be at the level of productivity is not something you get taught, you just...have to do it, and know how to do it. But Marius also knew that the instinct didn't just go away - it was something that both him and his writer father carried enough to make it due. Latter spent it on a modest career as an essayist, ignoring political overtures in past decade or two, while for Marius, he would become surprisingly useful at his time at the QFL office and the Commonwealth Peace Corps...

'Must you smoke?' sweet, RP-accented voice of Pat intervened right as he was in middle of the cloud balloon. Being caught smoking in her presence wasn't a good sign, especially this early in the day, and 'You know how I don't like it.'

Marius immediately caught off-guard, as he quickly killed the half-standing stump on the makeshift ashtray. While most of their two-year relationship went fine, mostly on the grounds of his reliability and her intellect, smoking and smell were two grounds where they had rarely agreed. If Marius smoked heavily, a common symptom of Quebeco-Shingoryeoite men especially those working in the sports and public administration, Patricia was very careful about the smell. A doctoral student who's on the final weeks of her dissertation on politics of smell, she had a lifelong struggle with fragrance allergy that's certainly made things tricky for them at times.

'Sorry, babe, was caught thinking about something while asleep,' Marius gathered himself, as he adjusted his posture on the wooden chair. 'You know, the usual.'

'It's about the old man, isn't it?' Patricia asked, immediately recognising the pulse in his response. 'You never seemed to be particularly close, even when you say otherwise. It's always Marina and the Quigleys you say, even if the photos say otherwise.'

This part was true. 'Probably, it's never the easiest. But the big man himself's never been easy reconciling with his mama either, god bless her soul,' Marius answered, before remembering that she had woken up because of a supervision schedule. Being currently laid off, he slightly forgot about the sense of time and the calendar. It was an awkward spot that his grandfather would've scolded him for, at least. 'You supervision's at eight right? Was it the Arlenian one?'

'No but close,' Pat answered. 'Come on, let's shower and bounce. May as well eat at Leichnitz's while we awake this early.'

by **Drawkland** » Fri Aug 08, 2025 8:48 pm

WORLD BOWL LI

The title sponsors for the three conferences of World Bowl LI!

Outbox Conference

## OUTBOX CONFERENCE     Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Dhemixia                3    3   0   107   23  +84
 2 Ko-oren                 3    3   0    74   27  +47
 3 Valanora                3    3   0    79   42  +37
 4 Ranoria                 3    2   1    72   20  +52
 5 Drawkland               3    1   2    56   57   −1
 6 Katzeburg               3    1   2    39   56  −17
 7 Rouyoute                3    1   2    49   74  −25
 8 Natkr                   3    1   2    47   83  −36
 9 Abanhfleft              3    0   3    30   85  −55
10 Andso Mangis            3    0   3    33  119  −86

Plexen Conference

## PLEXEN CONFERENCE      Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 TJUN-ia                  3    3   0   106   55  +51
 2 Cardenao                 3    2   1    48   33  +15
 3 The Golden Harp          3    2   1   100   81  +19
 4 Quebec and Shingoryeo    3    2   1    51   46   +5
 5 Delaclava                3    2   1    74   74    0
 6 Chromatika               3    1   2    64   35  +29
 7 Terefuxe                 3    1   2    47   55   −8
 8 Vaishnavaria             3    1   2    59   65   −6
 9 Sea Peoples League       3    1   2    53  126  −73
10 Ophiuchus Region         3    0   3    66   98  −32

DrawkStar Conference

## DRAWKSTAR CONFERENCE            Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 South Newlandia                   3    3   0    96   40  +56
 2 Banija                            3    2   1    76   58  +18
 3 United States of Nova Calania     3    2   1   106   42  +64
 4 HUElavia                          3    2   1    96   77  +19
 5 New Portland Republic             3    2   1    54   77  −23
 6 Lisander                          3    2   1    67   94  −27
 7 The Kytler Peninsulae             3    1   2    74   69   +5
 8 Irish Nova Scotia and Labrador    3    1   2    44   61  −17
 9 Riandera                          3    0   3    32   70  −38
10 New Umoja                         3    0   3    61  118  −57

by **Andso Mangis** » Sat Aug 09, 2025 4:15 am

After getting smoked in each game Andso Mangis looks forward. They may not get pass the group stages but the team is hyped and ready to have some close battles. coach had a pep talk with the team. "this was disastrous if y'all want to win y'all need to work together and play smart then I have no doubt we can have a decent season." after this the 15th string flex punt returner said coach is right if we want to win we have to work together.

by **Ko-oren** » Sat Aug 09, 2025 5:40 am

Season 56 Previews

Schedule:
Each team plays the teams in their division twice (home and away) and the teams in the other division once. Out-of-division weeks are weeks 1, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10. Divisional games occur in weeks 2, 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, and 18. Teams have two byes that fall in one of the Divisional weeks. Weeks 11 and 15 are reserved for rivalry games: the Urban Derby between the

Greencaster Godspeed and

Willowbourne Saints; the Capital Clash between the

Mayara Wolves and

Mayara Destroyers; the Southwestern between the

Mawryshire Centaurs and the

Eaglebury Emperors; the Shemurdar Derby between the

Schemerdrecht 65ers and

Schemerdrecht Admirals; the Battle for the Bay between the

Sterrenwolde Dragonflies and

Aminey Caspians; and the Northeastern between the

Aerellen Explosions and the

QB Eogan yBybradan (27, M), BQ Hubrecht van April (29, M)
FB Iogan yTregw (27, M), HB Aoffe Khrimahagun (20, F), RB Gaé Leloup (30, M), WR Xavier Marineau (29, M), XR Hozhenes Jambaroshen (20, M), YR Dhohzak Zhahmuten (21, M), ZR Gideon Crossket (30, M), TR Yoshimitsu Kamitanida (26, M), TB Hallill Malembee (21, M)
RT Fynli Sriwohoden (22, M), RG Lehdhek Avijuden (21, M), CE Niniaw yAftonmac (28, M), LG Auhonen Haustedhaungen (33, M), LT Llwgypen yNargwrwdd (35, M), OL Yannick Hneten (19, M)
LE Reuben Fitzgerald (31, M), LD Ryōji Yagura (26, M), NT Leon Ahern (33, M), RD Duzes Ahsolihgun (22, M), RE Tozathishak Plothirithithen (23, M)
OB Aeramo Aosonara (26, M), WB Thuzes Fihkuhden (23, M), IB Colm yBarrafon (29, M), MB Carey Khlorzigoshen (21, M), SB Abare Auhupolin (19, M), BZ Guthgusas Hizathishoshen (20, M)
LC Herman Jennings (32, M), FS Tirnan yBycolm (23, M), SS Ruggirra Yegish (26, M), RC Aeneatai Aothemirila (31, M), NB Leendert Schachter (28, M), DB Eldon Anglebridge (24, M)
PK Kretliran Slegalihushen (24, M), PU Cwin yByconor (25, M), LS Jacob Eric (27, M), PR Bernardiño Barcia (29, M), KR Cornelis Argielregen (26, M), JM Dwftach yDalaid (30, M), GU Cerys Needleworth (27, F)

This middle of the pack team has made the most of their recruiting in the offseason, with completely reinvigorated trenches that might see some players go to the national team in a while - Ahsolihgun and Plothirithithen are still quite young, and Sriwohoden, Avijuden are as well, so as is customary, the national team staff will let talent pan out in the league and mature before calling them up - it's the downside of recruiting the best players, though sometimes the rewards (compensatory picks) are worth it. So, with the best lines, a pretty good and maturing quarterback, and pretty good options to get the ball to, the Centaurs' offence finally is what they envisioned for years: a pass-happy outfit that can punish defences deep, and they've paired it with surprising amounts of talent on the defensive side, something often lacking from the southwestern team. They were seventh last year - fifth in the western division, that's how good those teams were - but playoffs are a must and then some now.

Schemerdrecht 65ers (EAST)
QBs 2 | Skill 8 | O-Line 4 | D-Line 11 | LBs 6 | DBs 9 | ST 1 | Offence 4 | Defence 10 | Overall 2

QB Hayao Tsujimura (25, M), BQ Tsuneharu Tsuchie (30, M)
FB Kakichi Shilaki (27, M), HB Jonuk Barganulden (28, M), RB Yūshi Yokoi (25, M), WR Thjusu Fakun (20, M), XR Engelbert Nazerwizufan (23, M), YR Arend Schemer (24, M), ZR Ryōma Ishiwara (29, M), TR Yoshimoto Shima (27, M), TB Maxence Mangin (26, M)
RT Adome Hatjakwoladhen (19, M), RG Mardhun Relathingun (33, M), CE Vakinjories Seradhen (21, M), LG Harunobu Tseidjizen (23, M), LT Aenieme Arenna (34, M), OL Caldwell Corland (24, M)
LE Gabe Payne (33, M), LD Oldrik Zilvervijg (24, M), NT Ebenezer Ahtohtahdhen (20, M), RD Senoro Rjarjetein (24, M), RE Osamu Hedjezen (21, M)
OB Tjuzhubu Tseidjizen (25, M), WB Jirau Dabouden (22, M), IB Eward Vanurwizunen (25, M), MB Reuben Ramsbottom (36, M), SB Dieboud Smit (25, M), BZ Lambijn Lepelaar (30, M)
LC Roedolf Navowoden (21, M), FS Berend Sekogafan (22, M), SS Dohu Ngeivoshen (20, M), RC Ennis yAwbar (26, M), NB Reimert Monter (29, M), DB Bernhard Oostwilg (33, M)
PK Niels Oordveld (36, M), PU Aleid van Nieuwgraaf (29, F), LS Hiroaki Toneidein (22, M), PR Bé Budde (32, M), KR Napoléon Chez (33, M), JM Shapana Arahathenandhen (30, F), GU Jūshirō Yanagihara (26, M)

Last season saw the 65ers lose the final, for the third time in team history, to no victories. In a somewhat weak eastern division that automatically opens them up for a repeat of last season, even if the rest of the division shored up a bit. They'll still be able to rely on the core of last year which needed some, but not a ton, of improvement: Tsujimura is a young QB that can help this team for years to come, well protected by a pretty young line bolstered by two experienced guys that'll need replacement in the near future, but so far, so good. What might hold this team back is its mediocre defence, with some big names like Payne, but on the whole the 65ers have made the most of pairing names like that with very young players. If it pans out, the team might be set for a decade, if it doesn't, they'll have to keep signing old legends to slightly too expensive contracts. With the best special teams in the land, we'll give them the nod for second overall - with a defence like that, you otherwise would've put them at 4/5/6th at best.

Greencaster Godspeed (WEST)
QBs 1 | Skill 2 | O-Line 11 | D-Line 4 | LBs 7 | DBs 11 | ST 4 | Offence 3 | Defence 8 | Overall 3

QB Khutlires Khrushikhathiden (22, M), BQ Guanyu Long (26, M)
FB Jack Shorelett (26, M), HB Harold Steelling (25, M), RB Uhezhu Nihruden (21, M), WR Dohnane Othohmiden (22, F), XR Rethnikhe Dhoshikhathuthen (20, F), YR Roman Belsea (26, M), ZR Conor yTaeganmac (30, M), TR Joshiaki Vino (34, M), TB Charlton Chilley (34, M)
RT Levi Lightcroft (28, M), RG Gashanek Bliterehaden (22, M), CE Ike Ekuhragun (20, M), LG Rohbes Zhihguhdhen (22, M), LT Trevor Gredhpelogun (23, M), OL Leonard Renfall (30, M)
LE Llawglhwn yDaddmhwr (35, M), LD Abe Bootsma (31, M), NT Liluth Bedigelnen (29, M), RD Stantin Delaunay (30, M), RE Frederick Clockbrough (30, M)
OB Morgan Vusuhdhen (22, M), WB Pyassalla Hassegana (26, M), IB Theophilus Anthard (26, M), MB Inigo Ilway (28, M), SB Tom Nantfield (26, M), BZ Zadhemas Ardehninen (26, M)
LC Archer Penleigh (25, M), FS Byron Kadwell (33, M), SS Shin Munemori (25, M), RC Giles Growihariten (20, M), NB Cuthbert Callader (25, M), DB Allen Roshikhathothen (22, M)
PK Grace Ligileden (20, F), PU Trevor Ragane (27, M), LS Aomapu Aubtella (25, M), PR Bruno Barcia (26, M), KR Cyrus Wybrier (27, M), JM Aobue Aipara (25, M), GU Elvira Ohlhathohthen (21, F)

The winners of last year are back and hungry once more, with Khrushikhathiden as a future national team prospect, but while he's here you have to make the most of it. With all the talent at receiver and back this is a scary offence, if it weren't for an offensive line that needed some gameplanning around. Assuming all defensive coordinators did their homework, this unit might be more of an issue for them now that teams know how to punish it. On the other side of the ball, it's an alright defence that gets worse the deeper in the field we're looking. A very good D-line is pretty old already, so the Godspeed might not have too much time to enjoy their current quality. Given they've already got their title, it's not exactly now or never, but another deep run could cement a bit of a dynasty?

Willowbourne Saints (WEST)
QBs 10 | Skill 3 | O-Line 8 | D-Line 9 | LBs 1 | DBs 8 | ST 2 | Offence 8 | Defence 4 | Overall 4

QB Matthew Amplewin (27, M), BQ Southwell Callakins (31, M)
FB Cwenchild Ruhpehten (20, F), HB Planchet Chaumont (31, M), RB Walton Hooligan (33, M), WR Basile Erbland (29, M), XR Egge Gasbeek (32, M), YR Whitfield Easlemouth (28, M), ZR Zhikimati Dhanokura (21, M), TR Kechish Narlash (29, M), TB Emelas Sodorlugindhen (22, M)
RT Upek Pargalnen (19, M), RG Martial Dautrich (23, M), CE Richard Paley (25, M), LG Sozes Mazuhshen (21, M), LT Wisan Ehlhotogun (22, M), OL Payo Sotolongo (25, M)
LE Ruben Linger (27, M), LD Elethathe Toronra (22, F), NT Ciran yMohanmac (27, M), RD Vihnas Shihwothen (22, M), RE Arthur Burton (36, M)
OB Calisto Bahamonde (26, M), WB Edward Darknoll (35, M), IB Jérôme Guertin (30, M), MB Karlas Aunendhen (25, M), SB Utar Sadhonnau (23, M), BZ Alio Aelasea (26, M)
LC Ber Hafkamp (32, M), FS Urinan Gathoregadhen (21, M), SS Agamek Pesenthengun (29, M), RC Guhtek Fewuthen (22, M), NB Brawley Wifehthen (24, M), DB Shutes Bodhira (24, M)
PK Wolfe Sollett (26, M), PU Tehwas Pihledhen (24, M), LS Githinu Aodorlugindhen (26, M), PR Go Bronsvoord (33, M), KR Pahsuth Ehlhotogun (21, M), JM Lucian Cedarridge (29, M), GU Lom Brightforth (34, M)

A defence-first team that has gone to the playoffs for a few years running, with a title three years ago and the team still enjoying the strengths of back then without the necessary improvements to keep the fun going. And that's kind of where they still sit, with no glaring issues other than a lack of recruitment in the passing department. The Saints have to look out for a situation where the defence is out on the field nearly the entire time with a flatlining offence - they'll score points, sure, but how many? - and the defence losing steam as the year goes on. It's a lot to ask. There's a slight move towards younger players: those two consecutive final appearances are a thing of the past for real.

Aerellen Explosions (EAST)
QBs 7 | Skill 5 | O-Line 2 | D-Line 3 | LBs 11 | DBs 3 | ST 9 | Offence 5 | Defence 7 | Overall 5

QB Aolilu Aesenial (22, F), BQ Adala Aosbure (25, M)
FB Steven Seradhen (22, M), HB Aogega Alod (29, M), RB Aoddi Aobsibel (22, M), WR Katsunari Kizu (30, M), XR Aorma Ebud (20, M), YR Onne Lindeberg (30, M), ZR Asna Aimigenna (30, M), TR Aireme Aimocinia (26, M), TB Adupe Aimmalin (33, M)
RT Japa Girault (30, M), RG Aohevi Aogabella (27, M), CE Enieris Akailis (31, M), LG Ishejui Sezejevunau (23, F), LT Ravel Brahe (32, M), OL Aerefi Aubben (24, M)
LE Ugjiak Valwidhen (21, M), LD Ala Ahocalin (25, M), NT Aesoba Alelella (30, M), RD Jacob Nirwogauden (20, M), RE Aivupi Ainve (27, M)
OB Aevevo Enevenna (21, M), WB Aebopu Aomidinia (27, M), IB Aerete Aogifenna (29, M), MB Eustacius Smit (32, M), SB Aogbo Aibial (28, M), BZ Mitsuomi Hirate (29, M)
LC Aei Aebipure (27, M), FS Dedhorwauk Merwajadin (21, M), SS Ausoru Aemuros (28, M), RC Aolie Emen (21, M), NB Aosidu Aemedise (29, M), DB Akhel Mauthrenara (24, M)
PK Mufajuuth Rinjojaden (23, M), PU Aeogo Aofelin (23, M), LS Aedaba Alomial (29, M), PR Ainirinda Aiaphaguna (34, M), KR Aihipo Egitenna (30, M), JM Alban Cayer (29, M), GU Seigo Higashida (30, M)

They were 8-8 last season and currently sitting decently in second in the Eastern division - hell, despite ranking 8th overall, they did pick up a playoff spot given the weak east last season. It wouldn't surprise you they were held to 6 points and an immediate exit, but it does look like the team is at least a little better than last year. If they can put their best players to full use - the trenches - there's a lot more that's possible given that the game in Ko-oren is trending away from incredible secondaries and air battles to more balanced offences versus defences with better players in the box. All in all there's so much to get excited about, with Seradhen, Kizu, Aobsibel on offence, such a good line, and then having decent talent in the secondary in addition to a good D-line. They might lose a game on special teams, if they ever need field position or a field goal, but all in all this team shouldn't have too much trouble in the division.

Aminey Caspians (EAST)
QBs 9 | Skill 6 | O-Line 10 | D-Line 10 | LBs 3 | DBs 6 | ST 7 | Offence 9 | Defence 5 | Overall 6

QB Khwaugei Mjeozan (22, M), BQ Jean-Étienne Chaumont (32, M)
FB Hngimou Gheoghin (23, M), HB Fwulu Ngothen (23, M), RB Shunmyo Suzukaze (32, M), WR Nwulou Dauden (23, M), XR Chillarie Yowarie (30, M), YR Théagène Eric (27, M), ZR Thibaut Gallet (24, M), TR Gaëta Lafaille (33, M), TB Romuald Duchesne (30, M)
RT Warren Easleings (27, M), RG Shidu Waiden (21, M), CE Stéphane Joly (24, M), LG Seinuth Vazomun (20, M), LT Etehnes Fewuthen (19, M), OL Nato Asselineau (30, M)
LE Hnwuigou Fouden (24, M), LD Shidu Dhjukun (22, M), NT Émile Lacroix (25, M), RD Reginald Yellowcott (30, M), RE Ghyslain Adrien (24, M)
OB Francis Kwaosan (21, M), WB Nirwiuk Hotjewenen (19, M), IB Marcellin Rottier (29, M), MB Henry Barbier (27, M), SB Patak Shareragnau (26, M), BZ Christopher Mjeozan (22, M)
LC Néo Basile (25, M), FS Hmjuinou Thweisan (21, M), SS Hilaire Swigun (23, M), RC Roelf Hoefman (29, M), NB Manoel Mella (29, M), DB Mirabeau Foret (35, M)
PK Euric Bourque (26, M), PU Arnaud Daquin (24, M), LS Robert Khjouthen (21, M), PR Ulf Lindeman (33, M), KR Adolphus Sprucebourne (28, M), JM Sōsuke Kusakabe (27, M), GU Lucius Rochham (30, M)

The prize for most improved team goes to the Caspians. This team's been flatlining for a few seasons, unable to secure the players they want and failing to do much to develop the talent they did manage to sign. And they're still not fully there, quarterback Mjeozan pending, and them still finding the right O-line to help them out. Basically this team should lose most trench battles, but given they can get the ball out to a receiver fast enough on offence and given they can use the linebackers and secondary to not get burnt on any play, this bend-don't-break approach of slow, incremental advance could be enough for a playoff spot. It's been a while.

Sterrenwolde Dragonflies (EAST)
QBs 4 | Skill 12 | O-Line 9 | D-Line 2 | LBs 2 | DBs 1 | ST 12 | Offence 10 | Defence 1 | Overall 7

QB Hitja Djofiten (22, M), BQ Sōtalō Jokotani (25, M)
FB Afton yLleamwig (29, M), HB Eita Molinaka (25, M), RB Detmer Homwarwizufan (22, M), WR Ghislain Arquette (29, M), XR Ano Airib (22, M), YR Atsuo Tomii (24, M), ZR Oldrik van der Linde (29, M), TR Vadhian Sevokjaufen (22, M), TB Eward Schemering (30, M)
RT Aulethan Tohanadigendhen (26, M), RG Frans Gerrenplataan (25, M), CE Xaneiro Ferreira (28, M), LG Antonius Grootbes (25, M), LT Benoît Longtin (26, M), OL Romuald Bedard (24, M)
LE Hurjoro Wapasen (23, M), LD Arend Smit (25, M), NT Gezhaak Gimjujuvan (21, M), RD Tausurlun Hanalaunden (33, M), RE Lúa Castelan (26, F)
OB Gommert Westerkastanje (31, M), WB Etbak Pauguthen (31, M), IB Vajao Ōtsubo (29, M), MB Bernard Voordewind (26, M), SB Toshiyoshi Hirate (29, M), BZ Frank Medwivan (24, M)
LC Junpei Tsetjiden (19, M), FS Sumwekjaui Sekhekjaufan (20, F), SS Wewom Ljowoten (21, F), RC Evert Monaghan (33, M), NB Aome Amun (22, F), DB Cornelis Corenman (30, M)
PK Bennet Lightcroft (27, M), LS Paulus Genpeer (29, M), PR Tadajoshi Mewezen (20, M), KR Lyonall Kusal (30, M), JM Meshach Fallfield (26, M), GU Karel Verwer (30, M)

The prize for second most improved team might go to the Dragonflies. They never quite survived the year where half their defence got selected for the national team and the players they got in return just weren't up to the same standard. They've refound their mission - build the best defence - and slowly but surely, each offseason, they've added to a unit that is starting to look a lot like the core they had before. As always, developing an offence has been a subordinate concern, but they did find Djofiten who is already looking like the most promising young passer in the league. For this season, there's a chance at a playoff spot, but if they can recruit playmakers on the offence next offseason, the team might legitimately be back in contention. It's been a while.

Mayara Wolves (WEST)
QBs 11 | Skill 9 | O-Line 5 | D-Line 5 | LBs 4 | DBs 5 | ST 6 | Offence 11 | Defence 2 | Overall 8

QB Zoruthau Kosmauthaunden (32, M), BQ Oldrik Touwer (27, M)
FB Elethati Parentendahnthen (19, M), HB Hermane Pargalgunnen (21, F), RB Emsan Majargun (26, M), WR Uriah Batward (30, M), XR Dwrwst yFirthion (24, M), YR Sonates Torkhegandhen (25, M), ZR Zenru Aholangaunten (30, M), TR Roksan Sathongaudhen (22, M), TB Lisuk Dahrenden (24, M)
RT Tamu Vauzhauzhun (22, M), RG Paranak Lambotherindhen (31, M), CE Bodei Waodhen (23, M), LG Robas Behdigehldhen (23, M), LT Medu Gaunlondhen (26, M), OL Madalena Toca (29, F)
LE Roi Vazomun (20, M), LD Melton Hoddle (33, M), NT Xenaro Carreiro (26, M), RD Virxilio Ghuishumun (23, M), RE Julthorul Kaunorerinthen (35, M)
OB Keshenes Mauthrenadhen (30, M), WB Estevo Zauthathin (24, M), IB Shutek Gaulthisorudhen (29, M), MB Boaventura Levoitin (24, M), SB Benedito Njairokun (21, M), BZ Damonak Pauguthen (30, M)
LC Amrek Anethanthen (25, M), FS Parak Tukurudin (27, M), SS Pinauken Puraunthaunthen (35, M), RC Lisikas Toredaindin (27, M), NB Hubert Pluimvrucht (23, M), DB Akihito Ōkawa (30, M)
PK Masafumi Hase (29, M), PU Kazhame Mojerannen (24, F), LS Eratel Barganulden (27, M), PR Clé Moreau (33, M), KR Akran Panonnen (29, M), JM Luís Vazquez (30, M), GU Hekas Eidikuramauthen (32, M)

The Wolves were 10-6 last season with a narrow win in the first round of the playoffs but a huge loss to the Godspeed in round two. It's hard to get as excited about the team, knowing what they had and what could have been. The offence has taken a step back: Kosmauthaunden has never been the guy to lead a 5000-yard passing season, but now that their running game also looks worse than previously, there's all the signs of a failing offence entirely. The defence is good - very good - but where we expect the Caspians and Dragonflies to be at least a little balanced, there are far more worries about the Wolves' offence.

Schemerdrecht Admirals (EAST)
QBs 5 | Skill 10 | O-Line 3 | D-Line 8 | LBs 5 | DBs 12 | ST 5 | Offence 6 | Defence 11 | Overall 9

QB Ronan yLlwydythol (30, M), BQ Didier Lutz (24, M)
FB Eddy Desjardins (29, M), HB Sijirla Hyotirra (31, M), RB Aaron Cheltcherry (23, M), WR Fulke Leyberg (32, M), XR Reinare Spechtkornuit (25, M), YR Tsanje Tugesen (23, M), ZR Mwigei Neakun (21, M), TR Otbak Shanigunten (25, M), TB Sachio Ichihara (33, M)
RT Gyacegul Mecembee (22, M), RG Lent Hoenderman (31, M), CE Syalyo Deresh (22, M), LG Cyugash Rilagana (21, M), LT Corentin Njokun (20, M), OL Mwoafe Shwuzan (25, M)
LE Lyollarra Cillembee (20, M), LD Dillal Gamagana (22, M), NT Myocya Lucharla (29, M), RD Daniël Roosspar (25, M), RE Jage Leemkuil (30, M)
OB Cederic Bethings (29, M), WB Athanase Vallery (27, M), IB Armel Bandemer (29, M), MB Hervé Adrien (25, M), SB Ikki Tsetjiden (19, M), BZ Takevito Mukōda (30, M)
LC Fifi Philippon (34, M), FS Gyonnya Wirruni (23, M), SS Ennis yCynalar (25, M), RC Bernlef Vedervriend (24, M), NB Sorrou Hachal (21, M), DB Regarla Koggerla (27, F)
PK Dielof van Hooival (24, M), PU Petrus Breedvrucht (25, M), LS Bernhard Methara (24, M), PR Symeon Keizerkers (29, M), KR Bento Varon (31, M), JM Ahimi Audas (34, M), GU Dany Rison (26, M)

We're starting to head for the teams with less optimistic playoff outlooks. The Admirals were 8-7-1 last season and while they aren't much worse, they did get lucky last year with one-score games ending in wins. Assuming that luck has run out somewhere in the offseason, a middling roster will immediately struggle far more to secure the same amount of wins. Their ceiling is somewhere around 9 or even 10, the floor is around 6 or 7. The team is too good to give up in games entirely - the O-line will basically get them some yards and scores by carrying a sub-par skill position room - and the defence is fine in running situations, but we can also see this defence (and that's new) give up at least a few yards with always an opportunity of blown coverage leading to a massive gain or score.

Eaglebury Emperors (WEST)
QBs 6 | Skill 7 | O-Line 6 | D-Line 6 | LBs 9 | DBs 7 | ST 10 | Offence 7 | Defence 9 | Overall 10

QB Bartley Stratham (25, M), BQ Andy Belross (26, M)
FB Maynard Wodethal (29, M), HB Abraham Readhallow (29, M), RB Jurre Hinken (33, M), WR Fanny Hertwild (23, F), XR Horatio Khakhihudhen (22, M), YR Zhefel Tujadhen (22, M), ZR Conrat Pluimplataan (26, M), TR Lohshi Utahreden (19, F), TB Gilbert Kropibazuten (22, M)
RT Hamish Zudhnahithen (22, M), RG Higgagul Wyolleo (26, M), CE Harrison Groshiruthen (22, M), LG Pledhgalek Slanijarugun (22, M), LT Taizō Minatoi (27, M), OL Hussagun Herrald (29, M)
LE Arundel Ehlhotogun (23, M), LD Jeremy Billbury (26, M), NT Ofehdhes Golhahshen (23, M), RD Witter Ihbuhgohdhen (20, M), RE Maynard Critchsworth (27, M)
OB Amand Lecerf (35, M), WB Darthmouth Sollett (27, M), IB Hudson Barkwald (30, M), MB Dan Dusketon (24, M), SB Nanko Bruinink (31, M), BZ Courtney Ruhzuhdhen (21, M)
LC Nobumasa Valada (27, M), FS Kong Zhihao (30, M), SS Takatsugu Nagasu (25, M), RC Ennis yByciran (26, M), NB Dizoskun Horaudhen (33, M), DB Kaiji Tsuchie (29, M)
PK Cilion yBydwftach (27, M), PU Noël Ducommun (25, M), LS Moses Boulgrove (26, M), PR Calvin Hylhemp (25, M), KR Ofahtan Opojagun (24, M), JM Tleterehu Plahehiden (20, M), GU Eustacius Deemstering (25, M)

The Emperors also were 8-7-1 and where they've been mirroring the Centaurs for a while, they haven't found the same talent in the offseason. Again, there's no real holes on this roster but there's not exactly someone who will put the team on their back either. Of course there are bigger earners and bigger contributors, and this team will probably not get embarrassed entirely against any opponent, but if this team is 6-6 down the stretch and looking for a bit of extra oomph to carry them to the top six? Hard to see where that should come from.

Mayara Destroyers (WEST)
QBs 3 | Skill 1 | O-Line 7 | D-Line 7 | LBs 12 | DBs 10 | ST 11 | Offence 2 | Defence 12 | Overall 11

QB Sozuthel Gulthithen (27, M), BQ Edtek Aibsorelanden (32, M)
FB Doninak Soserindhen (34, M), HB Xermán Thuizhanun (22, M), RB Ernest Justin (27, M), WR Alexandre Cathathin (20, M), XR Twan Nekker (32, M), YR Hudson Denett (24, M), ZR Rubozak Arathennen (30, M), TR Gurethen Tharadhen (36, M), TB Semeluth Maulaganthindhen (26, M)
RT Ngjeale Peosan (22, M), RG Danas Gajaradhen (21, M), CE Teluo Uozumi (26, M), LG Terpu Shazenregaudhen (26, M), LT Brais Njairokun (22, M), OL Aidici Aeulen (29, F)
LE Bruno Bizhanin (22, M), LD Thainjas Huishonun (22, M), NT Amaro Viveiros (30, M), RD Virxilio Andrade (23, M), RE Hermek Aidedhonigunden (24, M)
OB Caces Dhitukun (24, M), WB Lyotendi Bolee (21, M), IB Juliette Traver (25, F), MB Kathune Todheraden (21, F), SB Esuth Dauzithen (29, M), BZ Megu Shisonnen (30, M)
, FS Manoel Cales (24, M), SS Ninau Jaruninthen (33, M), RC Bizhina Modharennen (25, F), NB Zaifuk Thuizhanun (24, M), DB Bizhan Aidirunen (30, M)
PK Thekluk Tudhanudin (26, M), PR Dinuth Maulaganthindin (29, M), KR Pezhopu Gaulthisorudhen (30, M), JM Elio Aeribalin (22, M), GU Arximiro Monteverde (29, M)

The Destroyers: 4-12 last year, and despite a really really fun offence, it probably won't be much more this year. As in, 4 wins is on the low side for the KPG - teams usually land between 6 and 10 wins, barring exceptional years - but fans will probably have a much better time looking at this fuck-it-chuck-it offence that's going to get a lot of yards, maybe even points, but ultimately will have to hero-ball far too much for impact.

Noordrug Astronauts (EAST)
QBs 12 | Skill 11 | O-Line 12 | D-Line 12 | LBs 8 | DBs 4 | ST 3 | Offence 12 | Defence 6 | Overall 12

QB Matwaan Lorovan (20, M), BQ Sebastiaan Gaaidal (30, M)
FB Inasa Azegami (28, M), HB Ryōga Shirai (24, M), RB Vjido Neakun (20, M), WR Flora Voordewind (33, F), XR Rjazouka Nonezhen (21, F), YR Tormod Karstensen (33, M), ZR Gerald Winterburgh (25, M), TR Achi Abadie (36, M), TB Kikuo Laujasen (19, M)
RT Ngotsom Rokesen (25, M), RG Stephen Ilikins (27, M), CE Lawrence Waterville (28, M), LG Jonas Reishuis (30, M), LT Hothigwelauth Rinonau (23, M), OL Adelbert van der Heuvel (29, M)
LE Mahito Okakura (25, M), LD Odwerwauk Navowoden (21, M), NT Shōtarō Tjemazen (22, M), RD Shuntarō Shesusen (20, M), RE Rutou Voudjousein (22, M)
OB Masakuni Morinoue (29, M), WB Takaki Mjatjozen (22, M), IB Godfried Amandinspar (30, M), MB Hakaru Jineiten (22, M), SB Woutre Pelzer (27, M), BZ Shuko Tsetsusen (21, M)
LC Aegana Aegerin (34, M), FS Sudhowiu Momokwolafan (22, M), SS Eduard van Straudum (27, M), RC Uljael Sevokjaufen (19, M), NB Rodjudwizeak Girjefen (21, M), DB Harm Deemstering (27, M)
PK Mitsushige Fukumoto (27, M), PU Gewffnhwd yFochcal (35, M), LS Oldrik Gaaiberk (27, M), PR Aoelea Arile (31, M), KR Drew Hawstar (25, M), JM Nurwekaek Rilejevufan (20, M), GU Ninian Wybrier (24, M)

Lastly, the Astronauts, who are two years removed from a title (and two consecutive final appearances) but have been picked apart completely since. It's back to the drawing board with a godawful offence that's looking for some new energy in Lorovan, Neakun, Nonezhen, Laujasen, but it's better to brace for impact as that line is likely not going to help a ton. It's always difficult being a rookie, but being a rookie QB running for your life might be so harmful for your development for years to come. On the defence, it's not much better, though Sevokjaufen and Girjefen are sparks of hope. That said, looking only to players under 24 for guidance is not the way to make a quality squad.

by **Katzeburg** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 4:38 am

WILDCATS RECEIVE AWARD FROM CITY COUNCIL FOR ECONOMIC SUPPORT OF LOCAL BUSINESSES

By Richard Rider

The Katzeburg Wildcats, the nation’s World Bowl representatives, have been praised for their strong commitment to helping the local economy in Abersee with an award from the Aberstadt City Council following the side’s successive defeats against Ranoria and Ko-oren.

Despite having a request from students to end the World Bowl early rejected by the organisers, the side would see their winning start to the competition immediately go down in flames, falling 13-3 against Ranoria in a surprisingly tight affair which would see Ranorian quarterback Kualu Luani go off injured in what looked like a campaign-ending injury deep in the final quarter, before collapsing in a heap against Ko-oren in a 36-14 loss which puts the side in 6th in the Outbox Conference.

But following the pair of home games for the Wildcats, the city council has seen fit to award the team with an ‘Achievement for Supporting Local Business’ for their dedication to helping pack out pubs across the city with depressed supporters seeking a way to drown their sorrows following the games.

“The Katzeburgian Wildcats are a team which has community support right at the heart of their actions,” Aberstadt Mayor Hugh Jeffries told The Lampoon. “By crushing hopes so effectively and efficiently with the losses against Ranoria and Ko-oren, they’ve sent fans into a deep spiral which means they naturally have to hit the nearest pub to drink so heavily they’ve forgotten what they’ve just seen. Between the hopes being crushed and the fact the team plays such objectively evil football, they’re doing wonderful work helping stimulate the local economy.”

Estimates from the council suggest that the two home games alone brought in more than three million barins to the local economy, with pubs on the Awful School Up the road doing particularly well thanks in no small part to their proximity to Aberstadt Stadium.

“At the last World Bowl, we saw the local economy do better every time the team came into town because they were so awful, but never to this level,” UoA economy professor Dr. Jamie Dollart told The Lampoon. “I think it has to be because not only has the profile risen for the team, but the fact that we had started with a win meant expectations were exceedingly high, despite the fact we took on tough opposition in Ranoria and Ko-oren.

“On current projections, it seems unlikely we’ll hit that high again over the rest of the World Bowl, but I’d not be shocked if we see better levels than last time for the rest of the campaign at the very least.”

The council awarded Wildcats head coach Cameron Sydney with a plaque in a short ceremony before the team flew out to Drawkland to face the World #3 in their fourth matchday, with bookmakers behind Borchard Hall putting the Wildcats at very high odds to pick up a win away from home.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this award to be perfectly honest with you,” Coach Sydney told reporters at the ceremony. “On the one hand, it’s brilliant we’re doing so much to help the local economy, I just wish it wasn’t down to the fact we’re struggling to do it on the field. Hopefully we can marry both good on-field performance with a positive impact on the local economy, but we’ve still got a lot of work to do to get there.”

Pub owners across Aberstadt reported a massive jump in patrons in the later sections of the games against Ranoria and Ko-oren, as fans departed Aberstadt Stadium early to drink away the pain. “It’s incredible,” Red Duck owner Julius Orangensen told The Lampoon. “We went from having our regular 10 people into maxing out our 300 person capacity all in the space of about half an hour following the end of the third quarter against Ko-oren. The same thing happened following the Ranoria game too; they’ve easily been our biggest evenings of the year for us - even higher than nights where the Katzeburg football team plays.”

Local pub owners will be salivating for the side’s return to Aberstadt in Matchdays 6 and 7, when the side hosts World #8 Valanora and Natkr, but it’s unlikely the side will bring the wealth of barins along with it as the side speeds towards a 1-4 start after the first five matchdays, taking on Drawkland and an in-form Dhemixia in the coming games.

by **Chromatika** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 1:56 pm

Legacy of the Firehawk
Nothing Personal

To say that the vibes of the Iron Legion after the loss to Delaclava was down would be an understatement. Sure, the losses had both been on the road to the other two contenders in the Division, but the fact that Chromatika had had a chance to get a leg up on the competition and failed to do so was looming large.

So, when the Sea Peoples League team came to D'rea for the home opener for the Iron Legion, there was no looking down at them at all. A win was just a necessity at this point, and the Chromatiks were going to make sure it would happen.

The Iron Legion defense yielded a total of 171 yards and forced three turnovers, Viktor Rowles entered the game in the second half as Gwenderyn and Vivayavich only saw a Quarter of action each, and the Iron Legion showed no quarter in a 40-0 demolishing of the visitors to secure their first win of the Conference season.

On the very first play from scrimmage for the visitors, Jill Lia knocked the ball out of the visiting team's Quarterback, Jere Rinaldi recovering it on the twenty-two yard line. The very next play, Gwenderyn froze the entire defense on a fake handoff and threw it on a nice slant route to Alessandra Mio. Four plays later, Gwenderyn found Enox Silvermann on a deep crossing route, the receiver taking it all the way to the house - and the route was on.

It was so bad that with the score being 24-0 at halftime and Vivayavich having thrown a score herself, Viktor Rowles, the third string Quarterback, came in in the second half in relief. He only threw the ball eight times as Chromatika was playing to just run out the clock and avoid injury. Their defense, though, would play with pride - and not allow the opposition to cross more than the forty yard line on the Chromatik side, forcing the aforementioned three turnovers.

"There's no denying things haven't really gone our way so far," admitted Gwenderyn, "This was an opportunity to get back on track, and we made sure to take it. You can't really take anything for granted in this competition - we have ten more chances to get a victory, and we will make sure to get as many of them as possible."

"When we saw that we were shutting them out, we knew that we had a chance to preserve the clean sheet," commented Park about the defensive effort, "And we made sure to preserve that shutout. This is the level that we know we can play at - we're just starting to approach it."

With a team of veterans, it's a matter of consistently performing up to the potential of the team. They know that - and with a game like the one they just had, it could be the start of a run of reminding the rest of the competition that this is indeed a team that could make a run at the championship.

Or, it could just be a feel-good moment in the middle of some rough games. Only time will tell.

by **Valanora** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 2:01 pm

In a quirk of this unorthodox schedule, the Sabres first three games of the competition were all at home in the friendly confines in Mar Sara, allowing them to be comfortable and well rested without having the need to travel week to week. It likely meant that the team would have a prolonged road trip later in the schedule, but it did allow the team to get their feet underneath them to start out the new tournament. With how difficult it was going to be to try and make the knockouts out of this setup, the team was happy to take advantage of anything they were able to. While a more balanced schedule likely would have been the staff's preference, also getting a few wins in a row to get the morale high also was quite welcomed, knowing just how difficult the teams on their schedule were. Starting off the competition with a rival and the reigning champions had been a bit of a baptism of fire for the team and all of the new players on the team but it had been one they had been able to pass. Maybe it was not with flying colors but they had been able weather the storm of the Krauts and still come out on top.

The following week had seen Natkr come to the the Lathalein Celestial Stadium to try and catch the Sabres coming down off an emotional high and perhaps not being quite ready for a challenge. The thirty-third ranked team was reminiscent of where the Sabres were about two or three cycles ago, a team who were on the rise but were finding themselves in a difficult spot to try and get out of. It was because of that sort of difficulty in getting success, particularly when it came to defeating teams higher ranked than them, that helped sway the VSC into finally funding the VGL, which was about to have its third season. For the game itself, the Sabres were not caught offguard but nonetheless Natkr had made a game of it, keeping it fourteen all at the halftime whistle, though in the second half Odin Sørbø came to life and show the sort of skill that had him win consecutive NSCF MVP awards in his last two years at Raynor. In the second half alone the quarterback went seventeen of twenty for a hundred ninety-two yards and two touchdowns, making it three on the day, while the defense held Natkr to just a field goal and also forced a safety for a complete performance all around in all three phases.

It served though only as a prelude to one of the biggest games on the schedule, third ranked Drawkland visiting the Empire, perhaps thinking that their experience in winning at Mar Sara at the NSCF level would see them easily overcome the Sabres in front of their home crowd. However this is not the same Sabres team that has been the whipping boy of the powerful as in tournaments past, no longer was the roster only comprised of a handful of professional players playing in Banija and Ranoria and the majority of the team being semi-professionals and amateurs. The entire roster now was made of professional players, this was a Sabres team that had comfortably won their group in the last edition of the tournament and only did not make a deep run because of an unfortunate first round draw against the elite defense of Chromatika. However even that great team was still missing a key ingredient, that of course was an elite quarterback who could do things that few others could, who knew exactly what it took to be a championship team and play above expectations even when everyone was doubting your ability to raise your level.

That of course is Odin Sørbø and the game against Drawkland was his coming out party, as from the first offensive snap of the ball it clear that the quarterback was starting to get comfortable in the Sabres offense. Building off the second half of the previous week, Odin played a near perfect game, going twenty-eight from thirty-one for three hundred twenty-seven yards with three touchdowns through the air with another thirty-two yards on the ground and a rushing touchdown. Alexander Østby had a twenty-eight yard scamper for a touchdown in the second quarter that was part of his eighty-eight yards rushing and another forty-two receiving as the offense simply was clicking. The speed off the line was allowing the wide outs to get the separation they needed to make the catches through the tight windows against the expansive Drawkland defenders, while the linemen were using their agility and footwork to ensure Odin was routinely getting at least three seconds in the pocket to go through his progressions. It was an offensive clinic and it was a beauty to behold a team play so perfect against one of the best teams in all of gridirion.

What made the game truly remarkable was that the defense was playing at an exceptional level, both sustained drives for Drawkland were stalled out in the red zone in the first half, forcing the visitors to have to settle for field goals each time much to their chagrin. Logan Oakley seemed rattled by the different blitz packages from the secondary that the Sabres were throwing at him, while Kasper Ulvestad's agility and motor was not allowing him to have much time in the pocket if they weren't double teaming the edge rusher. A second half touchdown on their first drive in the third quarter had brought the deficit to twenty-one to thirteen, but Drawkland would not get past midfield the rest of the game as the Sabres' defense tightened up and the game finishing thirty-five to thirteen, the Sabres having pulled off their second huge upset of the tournament in the first three games. Now the team travels for their first road game, heading to unranked Andso Mangis in what might be the easiest of away tests for the team. The only concern for the team is the following week is their bye, as they will hope not to lose the momentum they have gained through the first month of the tournament with these exemplary performances.

by **TJUN-ia** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 4:32 pm

After taking down the World #1 in New Washington, the hype surrounding the Jaguars of TJUN-ia had broken through the roof at this point. To say that the opening contest was a big win for this team would be an understatement and everyone knew that...but Gus McKerrin had to calm everyone by pointing out that we still have 12 games left to go, so we still have to be at our A-Game if we want to make it to Drawkland at our very best. So with that in mind, what happens next?

Game 2 at the Field of Dreams in The Gardens in New Washington would be up against the team Of the Golden Harp, ranked 27th in the WB Rankings, and for this one, things were expected to be easier than Game 1...and so it proved. We did end up conceding 13 points in this contest, two TDs and 1/2 PATs, but that did not matter one bit after the mauling we produced in this contest. Igbinoghene managed 5 TDs, four to Yurilka Zelinskaya and one to Lucky Sithole-Sita with Glory Oparanozie hitting all 5 PATs. The backups would swap in for the remainder of the contest and that would see Jason Steels find Carlton McSwane for a TD while Eleonora "Firefeet" Scafakou missed the PAT, but hit 2 FGs as compensation to complete this 47-13 rout.

Then it was finally time for a road test and this time, it would be our first matchup with the Sport Division in the form of #17 Delaclava. Considering how close we were in the rankings, this being 11 @ 17, many expected this one to be tight and so it was for a while. It was a back-and-forth affair as both teams managed 4 TDs in the back by the time the 4th Quarter arrived, but it would be here where things started to diverge. We managed to just about pull away in the 4th thanks to one final TD and at 39-30, we will absolutely take that.

3-0, 1st in the Luxury Division, 1st in the Plexen Conference. A very good start to this process. 10 games remain, and Vaishnavaria is up next before our bye.
GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Plexen Conference, Luxury Division)
MD1: vs Cardenao (1) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 20-12 (1-0)
MD2: vs Of the Golden Harp (27) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington W 47-13 (2-0)
MD3: @Delaclava (17) (CD) W 39-30 (3-0)
MD4: vs Vaishnavaria (37) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD5: BYE
MD6: @Terefuxe (25)
MD7: vs Sea Peoples League (UR) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD8: @Cardenao (1)
MD9: @Of the Golden Harp (27)
MD10: @Ophiuchus Region (UR) (CD)
MD11: vs Chromatika (7) (CD) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD12: vs Terefuxe (25) - Field of Dreams in The Gardens, New Washington
MD13: vs Quebec and Shingoryeo (10) (CD) - Plexen Stadium, Pittsennat (Neutral)
MD14: @Sea Peoples League (UR)

by **South Newlandia** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 5:55 pm

2 Jungle 2 Drom
Jungedrom me once, shame on you, Jungledrom me twice…

First, it was the Ratzupalfu weather literally dumping cold water on the Banijan team, and soon after, the Elephants joined by metaphorically dumping cold water on the Serpent Eagles. Much like the same fixture in the Group Stage of the previous World Bowl, the Ellies managed to pull out a surprise win over their Banijan rivals with the power of friendship. Without Ayana, their former Ratzupalfu-experienced feature-back, the Serpent Eagles struggled to get much going on offense, and QB Kadesh Odika had a terrible time trying to throw in the torrential downpour, completing less than half of his passes and finding his former Firehawks teammate, Alani Sörens, with errant passes not once, but twice. One of them was returned all the way for a score, and it wasn’t the only defensive touchdown the Ellies would get, as Shivay Patil (incidentally another Firehawk) managed to scoop and score on a fumble late in the third quarter.
The offense also scored twice, once on a great Scott Yadav handoff into a reverse that Alice Conti scored on, and once when Thomas Fantikos rumbled into the endzone for a 3-yard score. Fantikos actually averaged less than 3.5 yards per carry as the Serpent Eagles were often able to flood the box, but trickeration and getting the ball into the hands of the receivers managed to get the Elephants moving down the field.

Meanwhile, the Serpent Eagles actually barely outgained the Ellies, but an 1-4 turnover ratio doomed the WB co-favourites to a rough opening game loss. Manager Victorino explained that the Elephants had been practising under rough-weather conditions for weeks, practising both hanging on to wet balls and scooping up loose ones on a muddy field. “We’ve basically exhausted our entire playbook and training regiment to get this one win. Worth it”
The Eagles’ only score came on a short Odika pass to Essa Kayode, yet another Firehawk. Who knew Firehawks thrive in water? Banija will be looking for revenge when the two sides meet again on MD8 in Banija, in a matchup that may end up critical for the Jack Hoy division title.

by **Delaclava** » Sun Aug 10, 2025 6:41 pm

The Monthly Inquirer

The Delaclava national football team is near the top of the World Bowl standings thus far with a record of 2 wins and 1 loss. Our staff writer Kady Keurig had an opportunity to sit down with Jean-Jacques Prudhomme before he left with the team to the odd, scandalous world of #1 ranked Cardenao. Prudhomme, 26, has been the starting quarterback of the Kalinin Wolves for three years prior to taking on the same role with Delaclava's team; he is also well-known for his relationship with college sweetheart at Seville University, pop star and influencer Kimia Ronson.

Question (Kady Keurig): Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us. I'm sure you've been very busy with all the attention you've been getting?

Answer (Jean-Jacques Prudhomme): It's fine, not really, I guess? I mean, I don't think Delaclav media's really been covering much of the World Bowl for several years now.

Q: Sure. Well, how do you think the tournament's been going so far?

A: Good enough. Every game is pretty tough, I think, so winning our first two against Terefuxe and Chromatika, both pretty close ones, was a big boost for us. Really solid teams but very winnable games for us and we got the job done. I think we would've liked that TJUN-ia game back, but it just got away from us a little bit.

Q: Right, and tell us, because there's not much info about that game from their media. So, a straightforward game, or no?

A: Not at all. Well yeah, no shit each team managed a few TDs by the time the game ended. That's how football works. But how about the pack of wild coyotes tearing off all of Moses Igbinoghene's clothes and making him throw the ball away so frightfully that it bounced off Mason Everett's face and into Kim Won-San's arms for a touchdown? I don't know how you don't even mention that. Not that, you know, there was much to write about. (Prudhomme gestured vaguely in a downward direction.)

Q: How's it been, traveling around the world, practicing in a big city like Catherina and playing your games in Manchester? I'm sure that's very different for you, coming from such a small city.

A: You know, Kalinin is, like, a real city, right? It's about 12th or 15th biggest in Delaclava. It has buildings and public transit and coffee shops just like any other city.

Q: Oh, of course.

A: Your city isn't special just because it's more crowded.

Q: Right. Well, anyway, the attention must be nice.

A: Oh, it's definitely good sometimes. I'm getting a lot of looks from girls and guys, getting free drinks, getting numbers. Guys in particular. Have you been out to East Elm in at night?

Q: Of course, a few times...

A: That's a lie. You're home every night with your cats and a baked lasagna. Let me tell you. The abs on these guys? Insane.

Q: How are things going with Kimia?

A: Who?

Q: Kimia. Your girlfriend.

A: My what?

Q: Your girlfriend. Kimia Ronson?

A. Oh. She's great! She's chill. Why do you ask.

Q: What's your goal for this trip to Cardenao?

A: Listen. I'm sick of hearing about Bobby Dials this, Bobby Dials that. We're gonna get over there and pound his ass to next Tuesday. So yeah, I'd say our goal is to win. But I'd also like to have a good time while I'm in there. While I'm there.

Q: A few quick questions for you. Favorite food?

A: Paella.

Q: Favorite animal?

A: A Smurf.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?

A: A space cowboy.

Q: Finally, one question we ask all our interviewees. What is the meaning of life?

A: I'm down for whatever.

World Bowl LI [51] Everything Thread

WB LI ~ MD1

NSFB: The Best Possible Restart

WB LI ~ MD2, MD3

NSFB: Off To The Races!

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