Cup of Harmony 91 | IC thread

by **Milchama** » Thu Jun 26, 2025 8:25 pm

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader

Sports Section

Milchama Inevitably Disappoint, Lose 1-0 to Cobrio

In an unsurprising development the Disappointing Warriors (yes we're capitalizing "Disappointing" because it's part of Milchama NT's name at this point) again blew it in a terrible performance against Cobrio losing 1-0 to a foe that clearly outplayed them on the day. Going into the game, many expected the Warriors to win both based on experience, even with a young team, and a better squad that had done better in qualifying. However, nobody told Cobrio who played a pitch perfect game to frustrate Milchama and take a well deserved 1-0 smash and grab victory.

The Cobre are known for their Àkoleoso style of football, usually translated into English as unshackled, and while the style itself is pretty flexible, what it means in a game against a higher ranked aggressive opposition like Milchama is to sit back, wait, and then, much like their namesake cats, strike at the perfect time. Milchama is experienced in beating many of these types of teams, being a top 50ish team means that in most games the Warriors are playing on the front foot against opposition who not usually attacking them. Moreover, Milchama's reliance on a highline, active pressing, and possibly suicidal midfield play, means that the Warriors generally win by breaking down teams who stay back.

The Panthers, however, were much more effective nuzzling the Warriors and stopping most attacking opportunities. For example, despite getting 12 shots, Milchama only had 3 on target, only 1 on target from inside the box and an xG of .43. The Àkoleoso style worked to perfection as the Panthers won most of the individual duels, beat back Milchamian attacks, and generally did some surprisingly good counter attacking. In particular captain Bérénice Quraishi from her midfield spot was a maestro in picking spots to attack and defend. Meanwhile striker Christopher Chilcott always seemed to be one step ahead of Sirus McMillan or Reuven Bar Simcha in defense. His inevitable goal in the second half being the difference between the sides. Cobrio racked up a 1.6 xG despite only having 38% possession in the game as Milchama's lack of attacking edge shown very brightly.

The other thing was the predictable nature of the loss, after the 15th minute there were massive drops in TV ratings for the rest of the game as most people seemed to throw their remotes down in disgust, already knowing the expected result. As one person put it, "Look we already know that the Disappointing Warriors are going to lose, whether it's 1-0, 2-1, or 3-1, it doesn't really matter does it. I'm going to go watch baseball." With fans like that it's no wonder many are increasingly pissed off at the MFA who have followed up a historic ARC victory with poor play in the last two World Cup campaigns and now this shambolic defeat to a team that we should be beating in neutral territory.

The basic question we need to ask is now what? We know that Milchama should be better than this but are not playing better than this and are consistently losing not only to good teams like Kamijiro but also mediocre teams. The only question we need to figure out then, how do we turn our disappointment into actual victories? That's the question that Itay Makamura needs to answer and one that we expect better for in the second game.

Milchama 0
Cobrio 1 (Chilcott 67)

by **Anewkansas** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 2:06 pm

“And that is the final whistle, for the neutral fans in the Carva Dock Arena it might not have been the greatest ticket out there but for the supporters of these two Cup of Harmony participants, it was a tense ninety minutes. In the end, it is nil goals each. One point for the Red Turtles in their opening match and a lot to think about heading into the next encounter against Katzeburg. Back to you, Terrence!”

A quick change of screens brought us all back to the studios of ‘Third Half’, the most impactful sports show of Anewkansas and the ideal place to discuss the performance of the national football team. Presenter Terence Allstone had earned himself a remarkable status over the years. When he took over from veteran Marco Pambiani, many looked down on his lack of on-field experience but Allstone showed himself a smart, even shrewd, moderator. Between his crystal white teeth, he posed nonchalant questions that could cut to the chase.

“The end of a nervous game for both competitors. One point won or two points lost for you, Lewis?”

Last season, Lewis Porter-Cobb tried his luck as head coach for Lokomotiv Crestbeck but despite his extensive experience as a player, he did not seem cut out for the job. Based upon tonight, you could debate that he was not cut out for this one either.

“It depends, I would say. One won or two lost… A bit of both?”

Seated by his side in the rather uncomfortable folding chairs (they were intended to look like a dugout from a provincial veteran side), there luckily was Julius Quinn. Also only a recent card member of the ‘former footballer’ club, but at least one with an opinion.

“There is no way we can call this game two points lost if you get what you came for. In the end, there were only two really good chances for the Turtles throughout the match. Major getting into the box in the first half and the header from Dom Merrick in extra time, that is about it. On both occasions, Alexander Ekdal stood his ground with a good reflex, so all credits to him. But across ninety minutes, we did not nearly create enough to endanger the Eagle-Owls.”
“Let’s take a look at that last goalscoring opportunity again. The free kick comes from a rather invisible Marcus Puckett, it ricochets off the head of Keisala and then some quick thinking from Merrick. Not an easy one but Ekdal with the reflex. If he could head it to the right side, it might have been even harder for the goalkeeper and scoring at that point: well, that’s a win assured.”
“The ball was coming straight at Dom, it was really hard to do more with that then deflect it. From a close range, that can always turn out great but Ekdal got a hand to it.”
“You get what you came for, you say, Julius. Was it the right choice to play this defensive against a team that we know to be fairly defensive as well, with five in the back?”

By now, Terrence knew that he could just skip straight to Julius when it came to tactical discussions.

“Past performance is not necessarily a direct cause for what Laaksonen would do today. You think you know a team after two intense games but this is a Cup, this is something else. This league format does have the effect that not winning feels a lot worse than in a regular four-team group. In that situation you know that one point brings you nowhere, while one win almost takes you to the next round. In the current setup, an opening draw is not a bad result. You’ve got six games to shake it up, you just don’t want to be on the back foot right away.”
“It shows from the other matches as well: the Warkus’ Doves were a stunner but otherwise we have seen low scores between teams focussed on caging their opponent: seven goals in seven games.”
“Feels like a Premier League evening, haha. But indeed, it’s a pattern not just chosen by Everett Steadman. Many teams felt as if a point made a good enough start to build upon. You can tell from the substitutions as well: Kimi-Suomi kept those five defenders even when they seemed to take the command around the hour mark while Steadman held Blanton and Philips on the bench. Toussaint Doucouré got what, ten minutes? That’s not a lot of time for a player to make an impact. If you bring Stafford for Hullbacher, you know what time it is.”
“It was a clear choice, but was it the right one?”
“That’s hard to tell, it’s a bit what if.”

Yeah, Lewis Porter-Cobb really was not the right man in the right foldable seat.

“This is Steadman’s first showing with the squad. It is easier, if you’ve only got a short time, to begin with a firm defensive plan. In that sense, this is a solid point to earn some confidence and grow. But with five more matches to come… You cannot keep on doing this day in, day out. You must come up with something more, something more punchy.”
“Do you expect that to happen already against Katzeburg?”
“I am quite sure that it will be a very different game altogether. First of all, there’s their team philosophy. Haberkorn tries to position more people in the box and getting a clean sheet against a side with Drake Wruck at the cannon is really hard.”
“We’re up against a stronger attack, won’t Steadman just crawl back even more?”
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat, Terrence, even a Blue one. You could fall back more and replace van Dam with an additional center-back. If you are comfortable with ninety minutes in the trenches, that is an option. But as Horsfall nor Spears require a classic defensive midfielder, you could move a player such as Marchand or van Dam up the pitch rather than down. The Christmas tree set up by Steadman is festive but on days like this, you might want to challenge Katzeburg higher up the field rather than on the edge of your own box. And…”
“And?”
“Katzeburg is under quite a bit of pressure. Not qualifying for the World Cup, as they did last time around, caused quite a bit of turmoil on their home ground. With the tension rising, everybody in that bubble will want to close a top eight spot as quickly as possible. To do so, from their viewpoint, you must take three points off the lowest ranked opponent, no concessions. If the Red Turtles can deal an early blow in that situation, things could be wild.”
“Hm, that’s an interesting theory, Julius, let’s see whether Everett Steadman is the only Anewkansan who doesn’t watch this show. But let us get back to tonight first. If we would have to pick one man for Man of the Match, I think we can all agree on Jouko Pesonen, right?”
“I would not think so.”

The voice came from the other side of the table, one that did not always roar but when it did, it did so with impact. Nobody exactly knew anymore how Flynn Goldsmith came to be a football pundit. He had been a political opinionator originally but after a short-lived career at the other side of the fence, going through three parties in four years, he had fully committed to the life of a ‘sharp commentator’. Originally, he focused on politics until someone discovered that having a contrarian in a football show also ensured good ratings. Those on the inside wondered whether he actually knew anything about the game, but it had never stopped him from voicing the complete opposite of the mainstream thought. Porter-Cobb tried to save the obvious point.

“But you can only call it a solid performance from Pesonen, no? Kimi’s Army got four shots between the posts, all stopped by him. That strike from Svonsson was especially tricky, there was a curve on that ball but Pesonen pushed it away. Even in the air, not always his strong suit, he looked dominant. Like on that corner in th-”
“I still would not hand it to him.”

Goldsmith smiled mysteriously, inviting Allstone to hear him out.

“Did someone else catch your eye or do you have a different reason, Flynn?”
“First, I think you could give it to Marchand, he was rock solid against Maxhuni but it is more about who Pesonen is than what he does.”
“For you, this is about his presence in the selection?”

During the preview, the panel had managed to tiptoe around the elephant in the room but this assisting pass was too alluring for Terrence Allstone. Everyone wondered how Jouko Pesonen, whose call-up as a ‘permitted’ had signed the dismissal form for Archibald Price, remained on goal with Steadman. The obvious choice was to challenge the new national manager on that, but Goldsmith knew that was a dangerous option with the Prosecor running the show.

“Of course. If you are Jouko Pesonen and you think a bit about what you do to this squad, you should kindly refuse your selection. It’s the gentleman thing to do. Look, I am not going to debate his merit as a goalkeeper. I am simply considering his merit as an Anewkansan.”

The pundit was stepping into politically volatile ground with both feet, but Allstone gave him the literal and proverbial nod.

“He knows that by accepting, he adds pressure on this selection. In the first place, he takes someone’s spot. But this also concerns the whole selection. It starts with Pesonen and he does a good job, hurray. But there might be other ‘permitteds’ who want to play for the Turtles. So where do you draw the line? You let them all play? And what if a better goalkeeper comes up, a real Anewkansan?”

At this second, Julius Quinn gasped a little. Could he have halted Goldsmith here and pointed out the logical flaws in his sermon? Possibly, but Quinn thought half a second about his own security and by that time, Goldsmith had already moved the conversation onwards.

“Maybe Pesonen did his bit to bring a point today and that is good. But on some other day, he will not perform. He’ll make a gaffe, like any goalkeeper. The day that a ‘permitted’ costs us points, we will be faced with a moral dilemma, one that Pesonen created when he selfishly claimed that number one jersey. If he wanted to play international football, why not for his homeland? Why did he want to do it so much for Anewkansas?”

At that point, Goldsmith stopped. He had sufficient experience by now to know he had gone exactly to the point he wanted to reach: far enough to provoke kneejerk reactions. And not too far, so many at home and in the pubs, taking in their fourth lager of the evening, could let it sink in and come to the same conclusion. Why was Pesonen actually our goalkeeper? Couldn’t they find a real Anewkansan for the job - as apparently he wasn’t. Who said he wasn’t? Doesn’t matter anymore, I mean, it sounds true, does he even have a passport?

In a rundown building complex in Blackchester, an aging man turned off the television. One day, he had asked his son to stay out of trouble. Only now, he realized that trouble had come to find his son. And that deflecting and pushing away, even when executed at world-class level, would not suffice to solve that.

by **The Osnari Federation** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 4:20 pm

“Scoreless?”

“Fucking scoreless?”

“Zero. Fucking. Goals?”

Nathan Held, at this moment in time, was very pissed off. Perhaps justifiably so, given that the Eagles, a very aggressive squad with a good bit of skill on the attack, had just managed zero goals and two shots on goal in their match against Warkus. Nathan wasn’t a table-flipper sort of coach when he got pissed off, preferring instead to make the issue very clear verbally.

“We scored. [b]Zero[b]. Goals.”

An astute observer might recognize that Vielfaltig, ranked 84th in the world to the Eagles’ 90th and also a very defensive squad with a strategy that seemed perfectly designed to trip up the Eagles’ attack, might the single team in the tournament most likely to hold the Osnari Federation to zero goals. Nathan was quite smart; he knew this. He just didn’t care.

“I don’t want to hear shit about how good their defense is, or how smart their tactics are. We can figure that out; every single one of you has seen a defensive team before. When we come up against one here, your knowledge shouldn’t just reset. This is a WCC tournament, this is an attacking team. Getting hamstrung the first time we come up against a strong defense cannot be allowed.”

Nathan walked out of the dressing room shaking his head and muttering. The players heard the words “zero” and “fuck!” several times as he made his way down the hall. Nathan hadn’t even closed the door in his anger.

Perhaps cosmically prompted by the narrator of this piece, Nathan remembered the door as he walked down the hall, turning around and walking back to the room. Popping in, he let out a last, single “FUCK!” before slamming the door shut and making his way down the hallway a second time.

An astute observer might also recognize that Nathan’s anger likely did not solely come from the lack of goals, but from the lack of opportunities. Vielfaltig’s back line had crushed the Osnari attack, time after time turning back the aggressors before they could get even close to in range. It hadn’t been a very good day. Thankfully, and helpfully to keep Nathan from getting too pissed off, the Osnari defense had held for once as well, only allowing a single shot in what proved to be a very boring game as the two sides played something resembling a large game of ping pong in the middle of the field as the Vielfaltig back line failed to support the attack, which continually faltered at the hand of Raik Nagel and the Osnari defense. Indeed, Raik had perhaps been the best player on the field today. Quite a performance from the kid. He’d even manage one of the Eagles’ two shots on goal, an arcing attempt from long range on one of the Federation’s few coordinated attacks. With the attackers unable to find space or a good hole, they’d put the pass back to him and he’d let loose a shot that, while powerful and making things a little more interesting for the fans, was easily scooped up by the Vielfaltig keeper.

That had been a bright spot; Hias Schefer picking up a clean sheet on the international stage and the defense holding solid overall had been good too. But all that had been overshadowed by just how tremendously bad the attack was.

By the time the bus got back to the hotel in Pyathora, Nathan had cooled down a bit. He’d likely spend the next few hours strategizing for the Milchama match, as that was what he always did after a bad match. He started by taking a look at their game against Cobrio and, damn, their media was pretty brutal. Their populace, too. Calling the team the “Disappointing Warriors” just seemed unpleasant to Nathan, who hoped he’d never have to deal with something like that. The match itself was exciting for Nathan. Not because it was particularly entertaining, as it seemed that all around the Cup of Harmony had been some of the most boring matches possible on Matchday 1. Low scoring, not much offense all around. But because it exposed a weakness in the Milchamian defense, one that Nathan was prepared to attack. Counterattacks. While the Eagles preferred to attack normally, the presence of a lot of speed on the wing, particularly with Gido Mullis, made them a dangerous counterattacking threat if Nathan could get it to work right. That’s what they would drill over the next few days, in all likelihood.

So, having worked on his tactics against Milchama and noted that, despite the draw, the Eagles had not really been set back in the table by all that much (a realization he was assisted in by his wife, who he’d called before he settled in for the night) Nathan went to bed a little happier, and a little less angry.

by **Dhemixia** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 5:53 pm

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here we go again

Schedule

~~MD1: vs. Valentine Z~~ L 1-2
MD2: @ Warkus
MD3: vs. Anewkansas
MD4: vs. Katzeburg
MD5: @ Archalit
MD6: @ Sarzonia

In yet another tournament, the Dhemixian National Team remains in group stage purgatory. This entails an inability to get out of the group stage, and the rare occasions they do, it doesn't lead anywhere. Losing your first game is a good way to start a non-qualification campaign, trust me on this, the Serpents would know that best. Even though they lost their first game in CoH 90 and made it out alive, they weren't as lucky in the knockouts. That's one of two ways a run like this for the Dhemixians will end: Barely scraping by in the group stage only to crash and burn the moment they touch an elimination game, as all runs this far into the FA's history have ended. The other avenue? Missing entirely and putting yet another stinker of a cycle on Doug McMahon impressively pathetic resume as a manager.

Now, a 1-2 loss to Valentine Z isn't the end of the world. Sure, you're almost salvaging a point against a seeded opponent, that's basically a win for the Serpents at this rate, only to bottle it late and end up with nothing. That's really the only fitting way this game could've ended anyways, it's pretty much a summary of how most competitions end for the Dhemixians anyways, most likely including this one as well. It's not like a loss here is entirely crushing, the odds are still indifferent, but the odds fail to see what's painfully obvious right in front of us. The Dhemixians lack composure and, after this game, the momentum to make up for a lack of composure as well. Next, they face off against an unneeded yet still very offensively inclined Warkus side, a true test of the Serpents and their future in the group stage. Should they win? A massive morale and momentum boost, knowing they're still very much alive. If they don't? Figurative morale and momentum bankruptcy. We'll just have to see how Doug McMahon commandeers this concerningly volatile team.

by **Solgavden** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 6:00 pm

Welp, a Win is a Win

De Rega Röda's first trip into the Kytler Peninsula proved to be an adventure, filled with heart pounding action and drama. This excitement was not felt at the first match however, as after 90 minutes of technical passes and the occasional shot, the match ended in 1-0 victory for Solgavden. Even though Solgavden and Natkr both being on the more aggressive side, most of the game was being in midfield, as both teams attempted to outmaneuver each other. The fans in attendance were left scratching their heads at what exactly they just witnessed, while some watching on television were kicking themselves for missing the Dhemixia-Valentine Z game. Despite the anti-climatic opening match, the national team had high spirits in their locker room. With a win, the Solgavs earned three points in the first game of a tournament they wanted to excel in, and that enough was reason to celebrate. So, with "The Wonderland" being so close to stadium grounds, the Solgavs made the short trek over to spend the rest of the day having a blast.

There was seldom a chance to relax after a game during this World Cup cycle. After most of the away games in qualifiers, De Rega Röda were eager to get on the long flight back to Solgavden, and in home games, most players scattered in all directions towards their home cities. The last time the team had a chance to appreciate a foreign city was during the Baptism of Fire in Indusse, where after their first win, the Solgavs took to the streets of Sloth Bay that most of them don't remember. With the chance to enjoy a world renowned amusement park, manager Peter Strömberg gave the okay for the team to take in the sights, sounds, and tastes. Once in the park, the team devolved into a form that more closely resembled a school trip, as about twenty grown men looked more like kids being chaperoned by the only adult in the group, Strömberg. The more adventurous of the team, such as defenders Kennet Roenfeldt and Johan Lind, were eager to try '"Margaret's Revenge", and convinced some of the more cautious men to go on with them, like forward Marco Kurosawa. After the chaotic ride, both Roenfeldt and Lind needed barf bags while Kurosawa seemed perfectly fine, saying something about his "lower center of gravity". The festivities would be surely appreciated, as De Rega Röda is set to face off against a terrifying Valentine Z team that has the whole group feeling nervous, from the bench players to Strömberg himself.

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 6:04 pm

This is your Matchday 2 league phase cutoff, sponsored by Spintek, the cycling specialists.

Let the fun continue!
Or begin, if you're of the Funball persuasion?

by **The Kytler Peninsulae** » Fri Jun 27, 2025 6:14 pm

Matchday 2
Valentine Z 0–4 Solgavden
Cobrio 2–3 Vielfaltig
The Holy Empire 3–2 Archalit
Katzeburg 1–1 Anewkansas
Kimi-Suomi 0–2 Indusse
Natkr 1–2 Sarzonia
The Osnari Federation 1–1 Milchama
Warkus 1–2 Dhemixia

                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Solgavden                2    2   0   0     5    0   +5     6
 2 The Holy Empire          2    2   0   0     4    2   +2     6
 3 Katzeburg                2    1   1   0     2    1   +1     4
   Vielfaltig               2    1   1   0     3    2   +1     4
 5 Warkus                   2    1   0   1     6    2   +4     3
 6 Indusse                  2    1   0   1     2    1   +1     3
 7 Cobrio                   2    1   0   1     3    3    0     3
   Dhemixia                 2    1   0   1     3    3    0     3
   Sarzonia                 2    1   0   1     2    2    0     3
10 Valentine Z              2    1   0   1     2    5   −3     3
11 Anewkansas               2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
   The Osnari Federation    2    0   2   0     1    1    0     2
13 Milchama                 2    0   1   1     1    2   −1     1
14 Kimi-Suomi               2    0   1   1     0    2   −2     1
15 Natkr                    2    0   0   2     1    3   −2     0
16 Archalit                 2    0   0   2     2    8   −6     0

by **Indusse** » Sat Jun 28, 2025 12:00 am

OOC: This is part of the Encyclopedia Series

by **Warkus** » Sat Jun 28, 2025 6:02 am

Difficult Day in Bay City
by Thomas Blayney

Dhemixia defeated Warkus 2-1 in a game that undoubtedly frustrated supporters of both sides. The sixty-eighth ranked team got the better of the Doves for most of the game and certainly deserved their win, but such a narrow victory over an unseeded opponent will do little to inspire confidence in manager Doug McMahon and a team with a history of struggling in group stages.

It wasn’t just the scoreline though – it was how it came about. Dhemixia dominated the first half with defensive midfielder Adrian Bush completely shutting down the Warkus midfield duo of Fallows and Williams. Left midfielder Gregory Baker managed to get past the Warkus defence with relative ease to score the first goal twenty-three minutes into the game. It only took another six minutes for Dhemixia striker Jonathan Obisana to score from an impressive free kick and give his team an early brace. Frankly speaking, Dhemixia should have been up by four or more goals by half time. They would have been were it not for a few impressive saves by Warkus goalkeeper Daniel Benjamin and a frustrating series of near misses from Dhemixia's young right midfielder Mario Hutchinson.

Both teams seemed to struggle in the second half. Dhemixia struggled to create any real scoring chances or, to be honest, do much of anything with the ball. Warkus, on the other hand, only looked to improve in the second half because their opposition started playing worse. Warkus winger Siôr Castell nabbed a consolation goal in the 81st minute, his first of the competition, by capitalising on a silly error made by thirty-three year old Dhemixia defender Rick Wilson. That goal must have dealt a blow to Dhemixia’s confidence, as their back three looked shaky for the rest of the game.

Critics said that the Warkus players and supporters should not let one incredible game against an unseeded side go to their heads. Perhaps they had a point. But the Doves should also be careful not to let this loss bring them down either. Losing 2-1 to a seeded side hungry for a win is nothing to be ashamed of, even if the scoreline didn’t accurately reflect Dhemixia’s dominance.

Dhemixia supporters may feel frustrated that their team nearly threw away an easy victory in the closing minutes, but at the end of the day a win is still a win. It might be just what the team needed to find their feet in this league stage – a shaky win that propels them greater heights. They’ll need to build that confidence quickly, though, given that there are only four more games left to play in the league stage.

Warkus’ next game is against another seeded side in Katzeburg. They currently sit third in the table after a win over Indusse and a draw against Anewkansas. Their fans, and their government, will be hoping for an impressive showing in this Cup of Harmony given the significant riots that followed their disappointing failure to qualify for the World Cup. Both teams will be hoping for a win so they can make it to the halfway point with two wins, which would make them serious contenders for the top eight knockout spots.

Tactically, Katzeburg and Warkus play with surprisingly similar formations. The main difference comes in their respective front lines: Blethyn likes his team to play with two attacking wingers while Katzeburg manager Becka Haberkon utilises two wide midfielders who sit deeper. That makes Haberkon’s formation resemble an attacking 4-4-2, which is a bit like the more mature, level-headed older sister to Blethyn’s bolder 4-2-4. We’ll have to see whether that maturity will lead to a predictable win for Katzeburg or whether a slightly more offensive approach could allow the Doves to shock the world again.

by **The Osnari Federation** » Sat Jun 28, 2025 2:00 pm

A high-energy beat starts playing as you see the screen of your television flash between various sports highlights. You recognize a few. Some are from the Osnari Eagles’ Baptism of Fire run - that iconic Werner Werren goal to advance from the Group Stage, the Gido Mullis game-winning strike in the final. There are some Eliteliga highlights (the Adrien Rytz goal to win Wolfsberg the Cup of Osnar) and some from World Cup Qualifying as well, like Liam Homberger’s winning goal against Zenic. The letters FSN flash onto the screen, followed by a cut to the studio, where Stefan Senger awaits at his desk, wearing a well-tailored dark green suit and dark red tie, blonde hair styled today in a man bun. “Welcome to Extra Time, FSN’s Osnari Eagles National Team coverage show. Matchday 2 of the Cup of Harmony was today, and we’ve got everything you need to know about the Eagles’ draw against Milchama and the Osnari Federation’s tenth straight undefeated match.”

Stefan: “I’m joined today by Leo van Haag, one of the Federation’s premier football analysts and friend of the show, who will help me break down the match. Welcome to the show, Leo!”

Leo, as always, was calling in from his office. The video call-tailored bookshelf behind him featured several books, including Craziness Encouraged by Simeone Di Bradini and many works by the late Audioslavian journalist Jeremy Jaffacake. “Nice to be back as always, thanks for having me.”

Stefan: “Now, Leo, last time you were on the show, you told me that the Eagles could take a shot at qualifying for the World Cup - what did you think of the last two matchdays of qualifying, before we start things off?”

Leo: “Honestly, quite good in my opinion. The Eagles got it done, away, at Unitarnia and then managed a draw at home against Indusse. It’s a shame that they didn’t control their own destiny when it came to qualifying, but seven consecutive wins and a draw to round out qualifying? It’s not by their own fault that they missed, at least in the second half. The Eagles made a good run of things and kept it entertaining in their first cycle.”

Stefan: “I have to agree with that. Just a really solid run from them over the last few matches and qualifying was always unlikely - plus, a ranking jump from 165 to 90 after qualifiers! Shows how good of a run it was, I think. Now, getting into today’s match, that unbeaten run has continued, Leo. We’re now on ten straight matches without a loss, but at the same time, three draws in a row.”

Leo: “It’s a bit of a mixed blessing. Of course, you always want to not lose in football. But more importantly, you want to win. The Eagles haven’t been winning, and it’s why they’re ranked all the day down at eleventh. That’s not far enough down to be scary yet, but it is definitely a little uncomfortable. But, Stefan, it’s not as bad as it seems. There are other things at play here.”

Stefan: “Like what?”

Leo: “It’s the Cup of Harmony! It’s not on a level with the World Cup, but this is still a top-end tournament. That means no matter who you face, it’s going to be some pretty solid competition. Vielfaltig were a higher-ranked team than the Eagles, as were Milchama, Milchama by a good bit too! At the end of the day, the Eagles are holding their own quite nicely against teams that are ranked higher than them, and that’s important too.”

Stefan: “That’s a good point. After all, if you think on the basis of rankings alone, well, the Eagles would be project to lose… five of six matches, right? With Solgavden the only side ranked below. So to notch two draws against some pretty highly-ranked squads is an accomplishment even if it’s not great standings-wise.”

Leo: “Exactly! You know, I’m glad we’re on the same page. There’s been a lot of disappointment around about how the Eagles haven’t won yet and it like, hey, we’re not supposed to win these, or even take points from them. It’s really a solid performance!”

Stefan: “Exactly. Now, Leo, we’ve taken a look at the overall view of things. Let’s get into specifics, particularly with the Milchama match. What did you see?”

Leo: “The biggest thing I saw was a greater incorporation of the counterattack into the Osnari gameplan. Let’s roll the clips.”

The screen begins to show clips of the match as Leo narrates.

Leo: “Fifth minute, first opportunity for the Eagles. Bang, bang, bang. Look at the passing! Nagel to Werren to Homberger and then a through ball to Gido Mullis, who doesn’t have quite enough space to make a move and Ellie Hammond makes the save. It’s an unfortunate miss, but that sets the tone, and we see the Eagles focus on counterattacking for the rest of the game. 23rd minute, the Eagles are already down one. Liam Homberger has it in midfield, and it’s another stretch pass to Gido Mullis, who this time has plenty of space and puts a nice goal in for the Eagles. Alright, give me the next clips.”

Four clips appear on the screen, one in each corner. As they each play out, every one is an Osnari counterattack, usually with Mullis as the target. None of them are successful, but the strategy is obvious.

Leo: “Counterattack, counterattack, counterattack, counterattack. This is a new strategy for the team, and it’s also not one common in Osnari football. When you watch the Eliteliga, you see teams focused on a very methodical, procedural attack. There’s lots of passing and not as much pure explosiveness. What we’re seeing here with the Eagles is Nathan Held looking at his tools, looking at his opponents, and saying ‘hey, what we need is more surprise, more explosiveness, and this is how we get it.’ And honestly, I think he’s spot on.”

Stefan: “Well, it’s only worked once so far…”

Leo: “Let me amend that. I think his idea, what he’s trying to do, is perfect. I think the execution we saw today wasn’t very good. There were a lot of opportunities botched because this doesn’t seem to be a common skillset for the Eagles’ players. But, with some drills and some training and a bit more time to implement it, I think the speed and potential this team has can make that a deadly, deadly strategy as we continue in the Cup of Harmony.”

Stefan: “You know, that’s a really good point. And to add to that, Milchama are ranked 48th in the world! Managing a draw against a side that good, implementing a mostly-new strategy, is a pretty big accomplishment for the Eagles in my book. If they can improve on their counterattacks, their long passing, all of that sort of deal, the Eagles have the potential to be a very good team, maybe even dangerous in the latter stages of the Cup of Harmony.”

Leo: “I absolutely agree with you.”

Stefan: “Alright, that is all the time we have for this segment. Leo, thank you for joining us, and I hope you’ll be back soon.”

Leo: “A pleasure as always, and I hope so too.”

Stefan: “After the break! A big announcement from the Osnari Football Association! The Cup of Osnar is changing - and we’ll get you all the details, once we’re back.”

by **Vielfaltig** » Sat Jun 28, 2025 4:59 pm

THE VIELFALTIG NATIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM

91st Cup of Harmony

The Veiled Knights

Roster

Goalkeepers
No   Pos      Name                   Age    Club
01   GK       Marcela Ramos (C)      35     SC Lutz (VFT)
28   GK       Zacharie Lamar         27     Walbourg City (VFT)
33   GK       Carey Ruff             21     AFC Luzzana (VFT)

Defenders
No   Pos      Name                   Age    Club
02   RB       Viktor Sameul          23     Bogen FC (VFT)
24   RB       Gervais Faulkner       22     Saevaroy Town FC (TKT)

03   CB       Raymond DeGarmo (VC)   32     Sporting Ceneisis (AFT)
04   CB       Marie-Rose Lyon        30     Chalesm FC (SRS)
18   CB       Quincy Lindsey         20     Zotteeik (TAX)
23   CB       Theodore Jerome        26     Riuwiee United (AFT)

05   LB       Ruggero Rossi          22     Xemlice Rovers (AFT)
14   LB       Romulo Farro           27     Wanda Island Wanderers (AFT)

Midfielders
No   Pos      Name                   Age    Club
06   CDM      Lazare Felix           29     Walstreim Lions (SNL)
15   CDM      Nerina Alvarado        22     Bogen FC (VFT)

07   CM       Pascale Faraldo        29     Syneca AC (SRS)
08   CM       Emily Abrant           27     SC Lutz (VFT)
16   CM       Denis Otto             18     Urrheddiao (CMT)

21   CAM      Emelia Gasper          28     Yassaca FC (SRS)
26   CAM      Melissa Goretti        20     Perce Town (QUE)

Forwards
No   Pos      Name                   Age    Club
10   RW       Joceylne Roy           23     Hessheim (VFT)
17   RW       Madeilene Wehnar       21     Visone (VFT)

09   ST       Irene Profeta          24     SC Lutz (VFT)
22   ST       Ulysse Trudeau         27     Deportivo San Valerie (ZEN)
27   ST       Julian Rodriguez       20     Central (KWR)

11   LW       Nicolar Favager        27     Struppen LFC (VFT)
30   LW       Michelle Périgord      23     Hambaurg SC (VFT)

Formation

Background Staff

Role          Name                   Age
Head Coach    Cirges d'Esquan        45
Att. Coach    Julius Aubert          34
Def. Coach    Raymond Salvador       52
Gk. Coach     Adrian Colombo         55
Head Physio   Hugo Abbate            48
Head Scout    Sancho Roger           36

Tactics
The Knights quickly disposed of Hahn after the slightly disappointing Qualifying campaign by his side. The Federation felt that their ambitious plans would be better aided by seeking talent from beyond our borders. This resulted in the appointment of Oberour Ar Moro's Cirges d'Esquan, who takes charge of the Vielfaltigian National Team following his four years at Meteor. His tactical approach is contrarian to popular Vielfaltigian norms and could be the key to further success. Vielfaltigians typically identify with a solid, defensive brand of football, which is notable in our domestic league and lower divisions. Cirges, on the other hand, brings a dynamic and attacking style foreign to much of his team. His brand of attacking football is direct in approach, looking to always score goals. Defensive considerations have to be made; however, for Cirges, it plays a minimal role.
He executes a quick and direct offensive approach which seeks to catch the opposition off guard. He employs two highly skilled centre-backs who look to build up play through their passing and look to make forward passes. He uses a pivot in midfield who often drops back into the back line with the centrebacks allowing the centrebacks to move wide. This repositioning then allows the fullbacks to fulfil their true role ,which is primarily to present attacking threats on the wings. Of the two midfielders, one specialises in a box-to-box approach and may provide increased defensive solidity when required. The other midfielder is more of a playmaker who often acts as the facilitator of the ball to the forward line. The wingers are inverted and instructed to move inside towards the goal to overpower and outnumber the defensive line. Their absence on the wings is met by the fullbacks, who provide the required coverage. This brand of football is a radical shift from Hahn's slow buildup play and will require getting used to for the team. The CoH may see the team struggle on occasions however it is expected of the Federation to grant Cirges at least one complete cycle before making any decisions on the future.

Style Modifier : +4

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: No
RP injuries to my players: Yes but be reasonable
Godmod injuries to my players: No.
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out red cards to my players: Yes but again be reasonable
Godmod other events: No.

by **Katzeburg** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 9:41 am

Indusse 0-1 Katzeburg
Wruck 62’

Possession - 48% // 52%
Shots on Target - 7 // 5
Shots - 13 // 10
Fouls - 12 // 10

1 Whinery, 2 Herman (Hodges 65’), 3 Clarkson, 4 Morton, 5 Colbert, 6 Plank, 7 Horsfall (Moores 65’), 8 Spears, 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck, 11 Field (Hobbs 65’)

Player of the Match - Wruck (KAT)

Katzeburg 1-1 Anewkansas
Field 11’ // Major 47’

Possession - 57% // 43%
Shots on Target - 6 // 8
Shots - 11 // 15
Fouls - 8 // 20

1 Whinery, 2 Herman, 3 Clarkson, 4 Morton (Mynatt 65’), 5 Colbert, 6 Plank, 7 Horsfall (Earls 65’)l, 8 Spears, 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck (Fuchs 65’), 11 Field

Player of the Match - Major (ANE)

Road To Nowhere - Just how does the Katzeburgian election play out?

By Antony Rotweiss, KBC Election Correspondent

Many of our multiversal neighbours would be forgiven for having no idea what a Katzeburgian election looks like - after all, since the nation exploded onto the multiversal scene just a few years ago thanks to the national football team’s antics, this is the first general election to take place in the country. Although to be fair to many Katzeburgians as well, the election process is still something many are coming to terms with - the election process was only put in place following the Katzeburgian Revolution just over 23 years ago, making this the sixth total general election since they were put into place. So how does an election play out?

Well, first they need to be called - Cari Victors did this close to 10 weeks ago when she announced in front of the nation that Katzeburg would be going to an election across both of its houses - the House of Representatives (the lower of the two) and the Katzeburgian Senate (the upper of the two). This means that voters going to the polls this time around - which mind you, is every eligible Katzeburgian both in the nation and overseas, as the nation enforces compulsory voting to ensure every voice is accurately heard - will be faced with two ballot papers on the day.

The first will be to decide on the House of Representative member for the location they live in. Katzeburg’s House of Representatives has been critiqued for being a little bloated in size, with a total of 500 seats split across the country, but the national election commission has recommended this figure to allow one seat in parliament for approximately every 78,000 citizens. Voters are requested to rank each member on their ballot paper from first to last in terms of their overall preference, with voters encouraged to vote for the party they want to win the most as opposed to tactically voting in order to ensure someone else doesn’t win. Practically, this can mean that minor parties (see - parties outside the Katzeburgian Alliance and Katzeburg National Party) have a shot at winning seats, especially where there are local issues at play, for example on Dragoonspiel.

Once voting has finished, votes are counted based on first preferences, with the candidate with the lowest preference eliminated from running and their votes redistributed based on second preferences. This process continues until there are just two candidates left and one has a majority of more than 50% of the total votes. Naturally, this process encourages parties to try and band together preferences as these could swing close seats in a certain direction. Normally this is done along political lines - for instance, Katzeburg First would almost never align with Katzeburgian Greens because of the stark difference in their political views - but there are circumstances where parties on opposing sides may encourage preference flowing purely to stop a third party from getting in. Famously, we saw this last election in the seat of South Hundsend, where the Katzeburg National Party and the Social Harmony Party hammered out a preference sharing deal to ensure that the Katzeburgian Alliance would not get in, a strategy which saw success as the seat eventually went to SHP’s Nigel Curtis.

The second paper will be to decide on the representatives for the country’s national Senate. This chamber, made up of 99 members, is decided on the scope of proportional representation through ranked voting, with voters asked to rank their preference on a party level from first to last. A quota is handed down by the commission as to how many votes a party would need for one seat (this election figured out to be close to 394,000 votes), with each party being granted a seat based on reaching this figure. Once all votes have been counted, whatever seats are left to be claimed are figured out via the preference method, working up from the party with the least amount of votes.

But to make their mark, voters first need to get to the polling booth itself. Election Day in Katzeburg is considered a national holiday, with the majority of stores and businesses closed to allow for citizens to go and exercise their democratic right. Polling stations are posted across the country, with a station normally found in every small village up to numerous stations in larger inner-city spots. Voting ahead of election day is also allowed, but a special request must be put into the commission prior to the day outlining why they are unable to vote on the day. For foreign voters, they are also able to vote on the day at their nearest Katzeburgian embassy, with their votes calculated alongside their traditional constituency back in Katzeburg. But all trips to the polling station are broadly the same; voters will queue up at the station - normally a village hall, school, or in some cases pub (a rare occurrence following the AK 7 election which saw an entire station’s worth of votes go missing because the polling station manager got too drunk counting the votes and sent the final tally to the wrong regional centre for data analysis; delaying the seat’s certification for several weeks).

Voters will then go in and have their identity matched with their personal records, namely an address to certify they live in the constituency they vote in. Voters outside of their constituency on the day can still vote in their constituency by heading to a polling station and flagging they are to vote in another constituency. Upon records matching, they are granted a ballot and then head to a private booth to conduct their vote. Political campaigners are not allowed on site on election day except to vote, often meaning the pathways leading to a polling station is littered with campaigners of all parties trying one last attempt to secure your vote - but what is allowed on site on election day is the Katzeburgian Fact Committee - a non-profit group given special government status to do nothing but inform voters of proposed policies from parties with evidence and provide access to voting records of their constituency MP. This is down to the core tenet of the government wanting to make sure every citizen is informed of their options before voting.

Once you’ve voted, you can celebrate knowing you’ve had your say in the proud history of our nation - and treat yourself to a democracy sausage or democracy burger at the nearby cooker funded by the government (often at an exorbitant cost but crucial to the overarching tradition of election day itself).

Votes begin to be counted the moment polls close at 10pm on election day, with media prohibited from reporting on the day itself about the election until this moment. Seat winners are often highlighted by the following morning, although in some tighter seats the counting process can take close to two weeks, with recounts being triggered if there is less than 0.5% between the final two candidates.

So where are you going for election day? What is on your democracy sausage of choice this year? Let us know in the comments below or get in touch with the KBC News team by emailing news@kbc.co.kat.

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 10:53 am

For the first time since Cycle 92, the Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi played a game at the Cup of Harmony - Harmony-Kuppi. While it was only a simple 0-0 draw, the fact we were even here to begin with was the jolt of adrenaline this sport needed after all this time away. Esko Laaksonen, head coach of this team from the very start, knew that this tournament was the opportunity this nation had been waiting for to prove itself as one that deserves to at least be respected as a footballing one - one that could be invited to more tournaments like these in the future. Those within the KSJ feel that this tournament is our case-maker, one where we have to convince the WCC of our worth, else we fall into the abyss once more. That fear of being left out again fuelled our drive to try and make that Top 8...but are we aiming too high?

Our first seeded opponent would be #53 Indusse at The Wonderland in Carroll Lewiston, and everyone was hoping for a good performance to firmly plant ourselves in this Top 8 race. But instead, what happened here was simply...frustrating. Shane Newman's Flocking Blues were the more attacking threat, as you would expect, but there was hope that the valiant effort Alexander Ekdal was putting in the sticks would translate to some good counter-attacking efforts down the other end...but Jahangir Shehzad (only 22) was simply imperious when put into action and there was nothing we could do about that. Goblin Grundjee would end up ending this contest, a brace in the 67th and 72nd ensuring three points for the Flocking Blues and none for us.

What is even the point? Once upon a time, the Huuhkajat team meant something - they were a source of pride, a team that fought to the death and would like to come from nowhere to shock people from time to time. We finished 4th in back-to-back AOCAFs, one of the toughest Regionals in existence, and yet we could've done more if the chips had fallen our way. We made it to back-to-back WCQ Playoffs, coming within 180 minutes of a World Cup Finals appearance. We were rising stars, a team that looked like it had more optimism than JYK-inen at times, and we felt that sooner or later, Kimi-Suomi would have its breakout and never look back.

But it never came. Because we were left out of five straight CoHs. The first two times were supplemented by the Jääsota-Jalkapallosarja - one split at Final Destination, one won by us at Final Destination. That trophy remains on the cabinet as the only sense of bragging rights we can muster right now - because as soon as JYK-inen found their mojo back and made it back to the World Cup, we were left in the dust. For three straight cycles, we performed admirably at our new home in the CAFA Cup before bombing Qualifying to a point where inviting us seemed crazy. Do you understand how much mental toil that takes on a football team, getting their hopes up in CAFA only to get swiped away into irrelevancy over and over again? Now, the public thinks of this sport as a joke - one where we cannot win in - while NSSCRA, Hockey and even Kriketti have become more "winnable" in the eyes of the casual viewer. Once, we were a source of pride - now, people in Kimi Kaupunki are more hyped for Lam Chow-Cheung than Jason Jenner-Pokka.

That's why getting this invite was so important to us. It was our best campaign, by win rate, since Cycle 95 and it finally gave us an argument to make this tournament via invitation. We felt, for the first time in years, that we earned a spot in the Harmony-Kuppi - and the hosts agreed. It's why starting 0-2 is so painful...because we are bombing potentially the only chance we have to prove we belong in this space.

Anyhow, four more games remain. The lovely Valentine Z is up next...can things get better from here?
I don't know. I honestly don't know anymore.
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

SCHEDULE/AJOITTA/SCHEMA (Tikariot ja Kytlerin Niemimaa)
MD1: vs Anewkansas (149) - Carva Dock Arena, Kytler Bay City (KYP) D 0-0 (T-7th)
MD2: vs Indusse (53) - The Wonderland, Carroll Lewiston (KYP) L 0-2 (14th)
MD3: vs Valentine Z (47) - Zube Olympic Stadium, Zube (KYP)
MD4: vs Vielfaltig (84) - Carva Dock Arena, Kytler Bay City (KYP)
MD5: vs Cobrio (80) - Azhdagon Park, Azhdagor (TIK)
MD6: vs Osnarin Federaatio [The Osnari Federation] (90) - Carva Dock Arena, Kytler Bay City (KYP)

by **Anewkansas** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 2:26 pm

One nil down at the halfway point and somehow, the rest of the dressing room was surprisingly upbeat. Only Pershing Major sat silently, staring at his shoes. They had not touched the ball. Proverbially, but in case of his left one, Major was wondering whether it could be literally as well. For forty-five minutes, he had chased a handful of hopeless deep balls in between bouts of running after defenders who always had an open teammate left. A forty-five minute rondo of humiliation. He knew the others were celebrating the fact that, despite getting their arses kicked, only one goal had been scored. While extremely dominant in terms of possession, the Blue Cats had not managed to produce a lot of shots: just five on target. It was the combination of a series of elements. The back four had played, when it came to acting as one, their best half so far. The decision from Steadman to replace the often unguided Miller by Sven Almsund had its critics but you could not argue with the result. The lower block had acted as should, a cushion against which the Katzburgians had stormed time and time again. A second important part of why the gap remained limited, lay in Drake Wruck. Based on the memories from Major (he tended to doze off a little when they were discussing defensive patterns), about half the tactical training had been about the experienced star forward. Against Indusse, he had once again been vital with a winning goal. But Azhdagon Park appeared to be less up his alley and with two big chances shot wide, the Rovers’ striker failed to convert his 61th international goal. Sixty-one… If only. Nearing the end of his first campaign, Pershing Major sat at eleven. Good, definitely, even very good. But none of those had come at a tournament so far.

Oh, and then there was the third element: Jouko Pesonen. The BlackWood goalkeeper seemed to be playing as if his life depended upon it. Lloyd Field could have doubled up in the dying seconds of the first half, should have even. But after carefully navigating the offside trap, he found Pesonen on his way. The national number one first knocked it out of his feet and then he dived dramatically to hold the rebound from Elmer Spears. ‘A tipping point’, most commentators would call it. As Pesonen shouted some instructions for a potential corner kick, the teammates gratefully mobbed him. Major could not help but notice that all embraced him, well, all but him and Puckett. It did not make Major feel better.

The problem was… Well, Pershing could not really tell what his problem was. He just did not like Pesonen as a person. That excessive modesty, the over the top humbleness. It all felt a bit like an act to the strong striker. What worried Pershing potentially the most was that everyone else was very optimistic about the team’s latest addition apart from Marcus Puckett. From every encounter he had had with Puckett (who they all called Prickett on the sly: Pershing felt lucky that he did not have a derogatory nickname behind his back) so far, he knew that having the opposite view of that man was a positive. So that they shared the view on this rather important interpersonal point did not sit well. Why Puckett did not like Pesonen was not clear but the attacking midfielder liked no one, bar maybe the people who said he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. It could just be his default point of view. Pershing, however, believed he was a people’s person. He had buddies in this team and not just Juan José and Sven, who also happened to be his teammates. He got along well with Harvey and even with Errol, although the reserve striker was the most foulmouthed stoner he knew and Pershing was, well, Pershing. An officer and a gentleman, as the papers would summarize. That was at least how Pershing believed others saw him. Kind. Courageous. Positive.

And maybe. A smidge. Racist?

The thought alone made him a little antsy. This had been bugging him all tournament, actually. There had to be a good reason why he did not like Pesonen, it could not be something superfluous like that, right? I mean, in the long, brilliant line of his personality traits, Pershing felt that it would be dissonant. It had to be something else.

“What a prick. Always taking the credit but never ever sending out a decent long ball.”

Holy shit, now Prickett was talking to him. He could not be seen like that, but instinctively, Pershing was already nodding along.

“I mean, that last ball, how hard was it? Field just touched it half-assed and then the second guy just kicked it straight at him.”

Stop! Stoooop! Something inside Major was hanging all its weight on the emergency brakes, but his jaw was still moving up and down.

“To think this guy should not even be here. Wait till he makes a mistake, sooner rather than later. Then he suddenly won’t feel all that Anewkansan, just like all those ‘permitted’s.”

It felt as if two loaded bits of wiring suddenly touched one another inside Pershings head. They said that the moment you pass away, you get some sort of ‘best-off’ trailer of your life, an ‘Anewkansan greatest home videos’ centered around your person. Major didn’t need to meet his end to get that, he just needed one enormous douche to talk to him in a Tikariotian dressing room.

He saw his father, who he never addressed any differently than ‘Major’ (which was correct in the military and familiar sense) chastise him for picking on a smaller boy. He saw his first triumph on a pitch, the IntraFin Cup U15 with the team photo. He saw the first training days of his army training, young lads from all different walks and backgrounds trying to crawl through mud, becoming one with the surface. One with one another.

“Look… He might be annoying. He might be frustratingly humble but at least… At least… At least, he’s not a prick!”

Had the dressing room been that silent already for a while or only at his outburst? Pershing looked around, everyone’s eyes were on him. Harvey and Sven, Juan José and Guy, the coach and Lemar. Wait, were they discussing his replacement? Jouko.

As Pershing stared back at the tall goalkeeper, it was Pesonen who first casted his eyes to the ground. Somehow, Major felt the need to apologize for that but so far words had not served him well so far. He still managed a mumbled sorry before stomping towards the field.

“Well, he better be sorry, what kind of remark is that? What kind of loyalt-”
“Just fuck off, Puckett.”

Sevilla cut him short and from the agreeing murmuring, it was clear to Marcus he did not need to continue. All doubt that still hung in the cramped space was left aside as the referee called upon the players to prepare for the next forty-five minutes.

Pershing Major did not respond with words again. But two minutes later, he got a pass from Sevilla near the centre spot. With a quick touch, he handed it back to van Dam who launched Baylor Rivers in the back of Faithe Colbert. It was not a perfect cross but Major did the perfect thing: he won a close duel in the air against Clarkson to control the ball and launch it in his own path. With a swift touch of the outside, he also got rid of the second central defender before slamming it past Whinery with his left one. Three touches of sheer perfection from a man released of his worries.

by **Milchama** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 3:14 pm

"So we've tried newspaper writing and it definitely"

"Yeah this a pretty bad start"

"So now we only have one thing to do"

"What's that?"

"Annoying people talking to each other about nothing!"

"Woo hoo!"

"What nothing will we talk about today?"

"Gay pride"

"Why?"

"Because I was watching the Pride Parade earlier and thus am curious"

"Ok, well there's no real discrimination in Milchama, being LGBTQ is legal, and there's not even weird cultural war stuff about it. The culture war is all over furries but mostly around identity stuff"

"I guess that's fair, there's not much in it then"

"Not really"

"That's good for us"

"Yeah, Milchama being a basically progressive republic with the 'conservatives' being liberals and the 'radicals' being Anarcho-Communists means that political debates here are weird for other places viewers"

"Why isn't there a right wing in Milchama?"

"The education system mostly, that and the Orthodox Jews are all MoDox Jews who are cool with being more conservative religiously but don't need to see it play out in public life"

"What about the Haredim?"

"They are not a political force, their marginalized and even if in their communities there are more conservative views on various topics they don't seep out into the general population. This mostly comes down to the fact that most Jews are liberals because we believe in inclusion, so if you believe in inclusion than the liberal elements will stew and create progressivism as the dominant force in a country's politics"

"Are you sure about that?"

"No it's a post hoc rationalization"

"Cool"

"But it is true in the case of Milchama"

"That's nice"

"It is!"

"So the football?"

"Oh yeah we play that, we need to pray to Margaret"

"Ok, let's do it"

"Great"

"Say as I say and do as I do"

"Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 12 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over all the infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

by **Vielfaltig** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 3:52 pm

SPORT: Knights kick off the Cirges d'Esquan era with a draw and win in the CoH

PORT TACASSAM: The Vielfaltig National Football Team popularly known as the Knights are going through a defining shift in terms of personnel. The Federation decided towards the end of the Qualifying campaign that Hahn was no longer the right fit to achieve the goals of the side. He had been a long term manager of the side and firmly instilled an ethos of discipline and solid football in the side. It was under his stewardship that we participated in the first WCC sanctioned event and also recently finished third in the Campionato. Prior to the Campionato performance, Hahn seemed certain to lose his job ahead of the 99th WCQ. Due to the strong showing in the Campionato, the Federation granted Hahn an attempt to win back trust by putting us on the world map through the Qualifying campaign. We got off to a decent start however a few unexpected draws meant that our campaign never really got going. We were stuck in mid table just a few points off qualification yet unfortunately short. The performances which would have frustrated the Federation the most would be the draw against Olastor and the losses to Grand Exultia and Solgavden. The Federation made the decision to relieve Hahn of his role and went on the hunt for a replacement. This hunt was not easy as managers were difficult to come by to take over a side in the midst of a cycle. A few unsuccessful negotiations later, Cirges d'Esquan was appointed as Vielfaltig's new manager.

Cirges d'Esquan is from Oberour Ar Moro and is an experienced manager from their domestic league. His first managerial stint was at domestic side Grand Rue for two years following which he landed the job at Meteor. He successfully got promotion for Meteor from the A League and established them as a mid table side in the Premier Division. His stint at Meteor would have impressed the Federation greatly and worked in favour of his appointment. Cirges represents a total shift in the tactical makeup of the side. Hahn's classicalist approach prioritising defensive solidity and slow build up is now a thing of the past for the Knights. Cirges d'Esquan has introduced his own brand of football which is laser focused on the simple objective of putting the ball in the opponent's net. To this end, he prioritises a direct approach with aggressive fullbacks, ball-playing defenders and inverted forwards. This tactical approach will become clearer with more matches the team plays and there are bound to be adjustments and a complete realignment of footballing culture. The biggest challenge for Cirges remains that he has been thrown into the deep end immediately taking up the job just a few weeks prior to the Cup of Harmony. This meant that he had to stick with the side selected by Hahn and thus would not be able to pick players according to the tactical roles he needed in his side. The Federation was understanding of all these challenges for Cirges as the squad will need to get acclimatised to his tactical style. He will be provided with a period of the CoH and the upcoming Campionato to test out prospects and explore the talent pool to build a squad for the 100th World Cup to ensure qualification.

The first game for the Knights under the stewardship of Cirges was against the Osnari Federation in the Cup of Harmony. This game was as unentertaining as the scoreline gives off. The Knights were clearly in some sort of tactical limbo with poor synchronisation in offense and the pressing which resulted in an overall poor display. The match eventually ended goalless as both teams put up a really forgettable performance. It was evident that it would take time for the Knights to move out of the Hahn era and firmly embrace the ethos and spirit of Cirges ball. A sign of the upcoming era was seen in the very next matchday as we played out a thriller against Cobrio. From the very beginning, the Knights seemed on a completely different gear from their previous game. The press was suffocating the Cobrio players and it seemed like the direct approach was finally bearing fruit. We got two quick goals in the first thirty minutes through this approach and the opposition were failing to cope. The second half saw the intensity fall off from the Knights however with another goal in the 64th minute we held onto a 3-2 lead and the three points. With difficult encounters against Sarzonia, Kimi-Suomi and Indusse in the League stage still to come, Cirges will need to get his tactics right quickly if the team is to progress far in the tournament.

by **Cobrio** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 4:06 pm

Part I | II | III | IV | V

Dami had caved. Twice. Both times, to his own weakness. Much of the past two weeks had been spent in the Djalia, closer to his ancestors, where he felt relative comfort... Though he had previously resolved not to. This was the first instance. Once there, had told himself he would only be in the Djalia, among the ancestors, to calm his spirit, settle his mind, and hone his focus on his task. He need not ask them for guidance on this task, for it was his and his alone. On day twelve, his curiosity got the better of him, and he asked Amari, the Red Eagle, why Ifuoké had been able to reach him from such a distance.

Of course, Amari, in his now apparently eternal wisdom, dot not deign to answer. He had not even returned to human form. He simply landed, eyed his great nephew sternly -- or at least that's how it felt to Dami -- and flew off.

Today, Dami was experiencing the consequences of his lapses. A storm had hit Odikolo while he was in the Djalia. And this time, he did not have the okun of Amari's memory. Nor would Amari supply it. Not this time.

The winds howled. The thunder roared. The drums of heaven pounded, and the sound reverberated through every bone in Dami's body. 'Olugun must be fighting a fierce battle this day,' he thought. 'And it is nearby.'

He approached the precipice between worlds. The bridge over the chasm between the planes of reality. One foot in front of the other, closer and closer to the edge. A slight pause. A glance over the shoulder at the silver-blue shrike and the eagle he knew to be his great aunt and great uncle. Pain glanced through his navel.

"I can't do this," he whispered. "You were wrong. All of you. Wrong." Shaking his head furiously, as if to clear the etch-a-sketch that now formed his thoughts, he felt a longing for the kitchen in Ezinne's old house in Odikolo. His house, now. His home.

"Yes. That's where I need to be." He said, to nobody. "I can't stay here." He closed his eyes and stepped off the precipice.

Something changed, but not what he expected. Something else was different. Something was wrong.

Dami cracked an eye and looked down, at his foot, seemingly standing on nothing. And his other foot. Also standing on... Nothing. Yet he did not fall. He turned, and saw nothing. He looked up, and still... Nothing.

It was at this moment, Dami realised he could still hear the wind and the thunder. Yet he felt nothing. And there was no sky for the thunder to rumble across.

"Ah, shit..."

Dᴀᴍɪsᴀᴋɪʀɪ.

Dami flinched at the voice, cracking like a whip, and echoing in the cavernous nothingness all around him.

Tʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴄᴜʙ sᴇᴇᴋs ʏᴏᴜ. Wʜʏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜɪᴅᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴅ?

Dami paused. 'But he came here before,' he thought. "He can."

Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ.

"But before, he was h-"

Fɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴄᴜʙ, ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴘᴀɴᴛʜᴇʀ. Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ.

The voice of Ifuoké cut him off.

"Why is the boy so important, Stormrider?" Dami yelled into the void. There was no response.

* * * * *

Demé pumped his arms at the crowd as he walked over to take the corner kick. The Panthers were down, and this was a great chance to level things up and swing momentum firmly back their way with not much time left of the ninety minutes, and little stoppage time likely to be added. The warm weather and direct sunlight from a cloudless sky overhead had sapped a lot of energy from everyone in the stadium. Not just the players but the crowd too. Having come on a few minutes ago, Demé was relatively fresh, and had plenty of energy. It only made sense to share it.

'If I can put this in a good area for Clarence,' he thought. 'He can finish it. Then we can take the momentum and close this out.'

His kick arced through the air, and found Clarence. The striker's leap met the ball perfectly, and his header sent the ball toward goal like a bullet.

CLANG!

It smashed against the bar and sent an echoing warning bell through the stadium, before cannoning upwards and descending slowly, spinning backward toward the penalty area.

Demé followed it up, and caught a glimpse of the dark clouds overhead. 'Wait,' he thought. 'When did that happen?'

He didn't have a chance to process another thought. Everything went dark. Spinning around, he tried to make sense of it, but his flailing met no resistance. There was something under his feet, keeping him upright, he surmised. But beyond that, there was nothing.

A blinding flash erupted, followed immediately by the roar of thunder. In that split second of light, his eyes strained to adjust, and Demé could have sworn he saw a figure in the distance. A man, he felt. A man who was somehow familiar.

The light faded as quickly as it had arrived, but the silhouette of the man was burned into Demé's eyeballs, it seemed. He blinked and the man was still there. Even though he could see nothing else. Thunder rumbled again, angrily.

Then, just as suddenly as he had been plunged into darkness, all he could see was dark green. The growl of thunder replaced by the low hum of a... Football crowd?

"Oh." He said, as the physio rolled him over onto his side.

by **Solgavden** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 4:38 pm

Upset in Alaer

As they traveled to Alaer for their second ever Cup of Harmony match, a nervous energy permeated throughout the entire team. Valentine Z was predicted to be one of the tougher matches for Solgavden during the group stage portion of the tournament, and many players wanted to get the whole ordeal over with. They were a much more aggressive team than Solgavden, and their players were larger than life...literally, the average Valentinian was 240cm, while the tallest Solgav on the team, Johan Lind, was just above 200cm. This perplexed Offensive Coach Charlotte Erlandsan, and Defensive Coach Paul Ravn, as both spent most of their waking hours trying to plan strategies against Valentine Z.

For both coaches, the difference in rank proved to not be a factor in their planning. The team was used to playing as the underdogs at this point, having been the lowest ranked side in Group 14 during qualifiers, only being above unranked side Francobalkan Peninsula. As such, The Solgavs knew that they were going into each game relatively unknown, and they made sure to use this to their advantage. The main hurdle for the coaches was the Valentinians difference in size. During World Cup qualifiers, Solgavden faced Bostopia, who fielded a team of entirely composed of active servicemen. During their first encounter at the rain soaked field in Limmiera, the team was bullied, allowing the Bostopians to take control of the game, leading to a 1-0 defeat. During their next meeting, Strömberg made sure to adjust the team's strategy so that Solgavden would retain most of the possession, leading to the game to be dictated by the Solgavs instead, resulting in victory. Both Erlandsan and Ravn made sure to employ similar tactics against the Valentinians, keeping the ball away from them as much as possible.

Erlandsan and Ravn like to strategize in different ways, with Erlandsan being a more tech-savvy coach, she buried herself deep into pages and pages of statistics, making sure to probability algorithms to help guide her decision making. Ravn, on the other hand, was a more hands on coach, preferring to talk to players directly and get their input, a strategy that served him well in his other job as Walsbruck FK's head coach. While Erlandsan didn't have much experience coaching players directly, most would consider her a genius when it came to football tactics, finding ways to successfully blend the best of STRÖMBERGBALL, along with newer techniques.

At the start of the match, both coaches took their positions in the stadium. Erlandsan perched herself in the box above the pitch to get a clear view of the entire field, along with the three laptops and a tablet in front of her. Ravn, on the other hand, was on the sideline, holding nothing more than a clipboard and a cup of coffee. They both relayed to the rest of the team their strategies for the match, and the Solgavs spent most of the previous day practicing drills on a field near the stadium. But the time for preparation was over, and the duo can only watch as De Rega Röda lined up on the pitch.

Luckily, the Solgavish team had a great start against the Valentinians, making sure to only press hard when out of possession, and playing safe with the ball in their own half when in possession, an almost alien thought to the Solgavish. Halvorsan struck first with a powerful shot outside the box, speeding past the Valentinian goalkeeper, leaving the crowd cheering at the impressive goal. The display invigorated the Solgavs, giving them the confidence to play the rest of the game without the nerves that plagued them earlier. Due to their more calm and collected play, Tennefjord was able to draw a penalty against the more aggressive Valentinians, which Hagen surgically slotted in the net. With a 2-0 lead at halftime, the Solgavs felt surreal, shocked at the level of their success. Adding two more goals to a Gunny Kristoffersan masterclass shutout, Solgavden felt more than confident about their chances in the rest of the tournament, as their underdog status now felt a little untrue.

by **Dhemixia** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 5:39 pm

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Columbus Dominion(Est.1873)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A False Sense of Security

Schedule

~~MD1: vs. Valentine Z~~ L 1-2
~~MD2: @ Warkus~~ W 2-1
MD3: vs. Anewkansas
MD4: vs. Katzeburg
MD5: @ Archalit
MD6: @ Sarzonia

After a 2-1 win against an unseeded and expectedly competitive Warkus side, the result has Dhemixian supporters split between two camps. The first group, the majority, see the resemblance between this CoH run and the last one in Valanora. After all, the Serpents once again lose their first game in tragic fashion and then come back to win their second, almost choking in the process. Accordingly, the fans have just stopped believing. It's hard to blame them, considering Dhemixia's only storyline is one of depression, failure, and crushed dreams in a cyclic process. It seemingly happens every single cycle, so why should they believe anything different's gonna happen, especially with the exact same manager. The other side, a stark minority, feel a false sense of security that fittingly enough, they don't actually know is false after coming back with a statement win. Sure, they might have their heads in the sand, but it's hard not to have just a little hope back after as commanding of a first half as the one the Serpents had.

Adrian Bush was on absolute lockdown all by himself on the defensive line, shutting out a strong Warkus midfield for seemingly the first time ever. This newfound defense that arguably shouldn't exist to begin with gave the rest of the line some confidence that they could actually do something here. Oh boy, did they do something. Beginning in the 23rd, Gregory Baker would find the opener out of the defensive line, somehow taking it coast to coast to give the Dhemixians a lead. After seeing a man dice up a defense like he was making Ratatouille from the defensive line, you bet the rest of the team was wired. Just 6 minutes later, Jonathan Obisana would make it 2-0 on a beautiful free kick, something that he excels at but rarely gets to show his skills in. Accordingly, the Warkus defense played hard marking, and Obisana made them pay. After going up 2-0 with momentum, even though they're managed by Doug McMahon, that's pretty much all she wrote. Despite a late Castell goal off who else but Rick Wilson, the second half was painfully uneventful, which is a huge blessing for a Dhemixian defense eager to fall apart whenever on a whim. Next, the Serpents duel with another unseeded side in Anewkansas. Much like this Warkus game, the stakes are high. Should they win? They might prove themselves legit, and take a lot of the fanbase back with them. Should they lose? Most to all of the momentum is GONE, and so is the small subsect of copium enjoyers. After all, stakes are something the Serpents perform well with, but almost never play a game with. We'll see if Doug McMahon can lock in, or if he inadvertently dooms the Dhemixians and their chances, forced to crawl into another IAC and World Cup Qualifying for the 100th rendition of the tournament.

by **Tikariot** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 6:07 pm

Today's cutoff is sponsored by:

Skarraborgs Hantverks Bryggeri - the finest craft beer in all of Tikariot, brewed with glacier water for the crispest taste this side of Lake Viljan

Are you worried that things are not going well? Carry on!

by **Tikariot** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 6:20 pm

Matchday 3

Dhemixia 0–2 Anewkansas
Valentine Z 0–1 Kimi-Suomi
Milchama 2–2 Solgavden
Cobrio 3–2 Natkr
Sarzonia 1–3 Vielfaltig
The Holy Empire 3–2 The Osnari Federation
Indusse 3–1 Archalit
Katzeburg 3–2 Warkus

                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 The Holy Empire          3    3   0   0     7    4   +3     9
 2 Solgavden                3    2   1   0     7    2   +5     7
 3 Vielfaltig               3    2   1   0     6    3   +3     7
 4 Katzeburg                3    2   1   0     5    3   +2     7
 5 Indusse                  3    2   0   1     5    2   +3     6
 6 Cobrio                   3    2   0   1     6    5   +1     6
 7 Anewkansas               3    1   2   0     3    1   +2     5
 8 Kimi-Suomi               3    1   1   1     1    2   −1     4
 9 Valentine Z              3    1   0   2     2    6   −4     3
10 Dhemixia                 3    1   0   2     3    5   −2     3
11 Warkus                   3    1   0   2     8    5   +3     3
12 Sarzonia                 3    1   0   2     3    5   −2     3
13 Milchama                 3    0   2   1     3    4   −1     2
   The Osnari Federation    3    0   2   1     3    4   −1     2
15 Natkr                    3    0   0   3     3    6   −3     0
16 Archalit                 3    0   0   3     3   11   −8     0

by **Indusse** » Sun Jun 29, 2025 9:35 pm

OOC: This is part of the Encyclopedia Series

by **Katzeburg** » Mon Jun 30, 2025 2:57 pm

Katzeburg 3-2 Warkus
Plank 27’, Fuchs 78’, 86’ // Castell 10’, Rose 51’

Possession - 74% // 26%
Shots on Target - 5 // 7
Shots - 12 // 13
Fouls - 10 // 15

1 Whinery, 2 Herman, 3 Clarkson, 4 Morton (Hodges 65’), 5 Colbert, 6 Plank, 7 Horsfall (Lynton 65’), 8 Spears, 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck (Fuchs 65’), 11 Field

Player of the Match - Fuchs (KAT)

Bag Of Bones - Does Katzeburg’s oldest representative have one more dance in him?

By Antony Rotweiss, KBC Election Correspondent

For many in Katzeburg, the small mountain town of Weispitze and the surrounding areas are known for one thing and one thing alone - snow. The little town, inaccessible at times in the very worst of the winter season, is one well-renowned for its winter offerings, with incredible views of nearby Mount Mercer and steep slopes drawing in the best skiers and snowboarders this side of Esportiva for the challenge alone.

Above: Daniel Olson is on track to win more than 90% of the vote for the seat of Weispitze & Mount Mercer.

But for political fans, the little town is known for something else as well - the town is the only national constituency which has never had a change in its MP since democratic elections began more than 20 years ago. And that is all down to the actions of one man - Daniel Olson. Olson is the long-standing veteran of the Katzeburgian Parliament, with the Katzeburg National Party MP winning election in the initial setup of parliament in the aftermath of the Katzeburgian Revolution and never seeing a vote fall against him in the years since.

Olson has, in fact, seen his winning margin only increase over the last six elections, with his most recent victory in AK19 (his sixth term overall) seeing the now 87-year-old claim a record 87% of the vote after the final count, a margin so significant the commission did not even both with a second round of preferential ranked voting calculation because he had dominated the voting so much. His grip on the seat of Weispitze & Mount Mercer, taking in one of the geographically largest seats in the country, is so strong that other parties have even given up on campaigning in the area - our recent visit to the town saw a place devoid of other options; almost every second house had proud and loud Olson campaign banners decorating their front-yards, with only a literal handful of houses indicating support for other parties.

“There’s no point wasting money campaigning there at the moment as we know Olson is a shoe-in,” conceded Katzeburgian Alliance regional director George Baker. “He has such a cult of personality around him in the town that anyone not deeply embedded in the community has any hope at all of getting more than five percent of the vote. Our strategy is simply to just bide our time and wait for him to eventually retire or pass in office - it’s the only way we might get a reset up here.”

Olson, a schoolteacher before he decided to run for office in the aftermath of the Revolution, has all the hall-marks of a long-standing representative. He knows almost everyone in the community, he knows the issues which makes the town tick, and he knows what he needs to say to keep favour in his seat no matter what his wider party might be doing in Katzestadt. He’s someone who has drawn a lot of praise from political pundits across the spectrum for his commitment to doing right by his constituents, no matter the impact it would bring on his own party.

“Olson is a legend,” Weispitze ski instructor Luke Hande told us as we took a lift up to the peak of the Mount Mercer ski resort. “Everyone in the town remembers the time where the KNP were keen to legislate a bill which would have shut down the resort, completely ignoring the economic impact it would have made on the town. Olson passionately fought against his own party and crossed the floor to vote with the Katzeburgian Alliance against the bill; it would have passed had he not made his stand there.”

But the KNP MP is no longer the young(ish) man he once was when he joined parliament. In fact, he is now comfortably the oldest member of the 500-strong House of Representatives and this is something not lost on some of the younger members which make up the town of Weispitze. In fact, there seems to be a growing tide of people who think it’s time for someone else to step into the role.

“Daniel Olson is someone who has been a proud servant of Katzeburg,” said Youths Against Olson founder Brett Hadaway. “But he is someone who now needs to let the younger voices in the town have their say as many of us feel his views no longer represent the younger voting generation.”

Hadaway has a point - Olson has over the last two parliaments drawn considerable criticism for some of his views which could be regarded as outdated, notably his view that all Katzeburgians earning above a certain barin threshold should be eligible to have multiple wives, and his desire to declare war on any Esportivan nation by any means necessary, even going as far as to claim travelling sporting sides touching down in the nation are terrorist cells. Yet despite this, Olson is projected to hit a new record high vote when Katzeburgians go to the polls in the coming weeks, and the man himself puts this down to one thing.

“Trust,” Olson told us on the campaign trail at the Weispitze Retirement Village and Sledding Academy. It was an odd stop for the MP, given some of the residents in the care home were younger than him by several years, but it was a shining reflection of the impact he brings to the community. Olson spent most of the day at this stop, talking to every resident at length about what could make their lives better - from reducing the amount of fish on the in-house menu to moving sledding practice half an hour back so the residents could watch hit KBC syndicated drama Locke & Barrel - a detective series popular in the final days before the Katzeburgian Revolution.

“I’d like to say the secret is something ridiculous, like the blood of newborn babies, or providing universal healthcare to all who need it, but it’s just the simple things all MPs should be doing - living in their community and taking an interest in the actual matters that impact our constituents. Too often MPs in Katzestadt postulate policy on too high of a level, doing things purely because it sounds good or will save a few barins - they rarely consider the actual impact of their actions to people living their lives.

“Retiring simply isn’t an option for me; serving these people is what gives me purpose and I’m proud to represent Weispitze and Mount Mercer, and I’ll do that until I draw my final breath - whether that’s tomorrow or another decade from now.”

by **Milchama** » Tue Jul 01, 2025 8:30 am

"Well that didn't work"

"It did not"

"I guess we're screwed forever"

"Screwed! Screwed! Screwed! Forever! Screwed! Screwed! Forever and ever!"

"You know that only works in song form"

"You're right. Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-WbUih3LWk"

"Krill forever!"

"Krill! Krill! Forever and ever!"

"What does this have to do with Milchama?"

"It's irrelevant"

"Why?"

"Because we suck, our team is awful, our coach is overrated, we can't win a game, we're out of form, we're basically stuck"

"So what should we do?"

"Fail"

"We're already doing that"

"Yeah not much that we can change"

"Ok but should we be more like Krill?"

"Yes"

"We should?"

"Sure, why not?"

"How does that make sense?"

"Oh it doesn't"

"I see"

"Could it make sense?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"I don't think anything make sense"

"Well I think it all makes sense?"

"How?"

"Krill are good, we suck, we continue to suck. If we were more like Krill we wouldn't suck and thus be good"

"Ok but a musical band and a sports team make for poor metaphors"

"I'm only looking for metafives, maybe a metasix"

"You've gone too far!"

"No you've gone too far!"

"No you have!"

"We're not doing this"

"Ok"

"Margaret time?"

"Sure"

"Say as I say and do as I do"

"Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 18 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over all the infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

by **Warkus** » Tue Jul 01, 2025 10:47 am

Halfway There
by Thomas Blayney

We’re now at the halfway point of the Cup of Harmony’s league phase and Warkus has tumbled down to eleventh in the standings after a narrow loss to Katzeburg. This marks the Doves’ second loss in the competition and two straight defeats against seeded opposition, suggesting that Blethyn’s team can’t pull off the surprise giant-killing performances they occasionally managed in the qualifiers. That being said, the team looked better than they did against Dhemixia. Katzeburg dominated possession, but the midfield duo of Fallows and Williams were occasionally able to dictate the tempo off the ball.

Warkus winger Siôr Castell nabbed the first goal of the game in the tenth minute but any hopes of an flukey one-nil to the Doves were dashed when Katzeburg midfielder Serena Plank scored in the twenty seventh minute with an excellent finesse shot. Llewelyn Rose brought Warkus back ahead early in the second half, but Katzeburg super-sub Kester Fuchs managed to score two goals and earn Katzeburg the win in the latter stages of the game. The Doves were able to cause problems for the Blue Cats in this game, even though the latter won out in the end. It’s an improvement from the previous game despite the result.

But time is running out. Warkus’ next game is against Anewkansas – a team they share the 149th spot in the KPB+ rankings with. Losing against seeded opposition isn’t the end of the world, but they’ll need a positive result here if they want to retain any hope of reaching the knockout stages. Three losses in a row would leave Warkus in a precarious spot and needing wins against both Valentine Z, a seeded team, and Natkr (and results elsewhere going their way!) to make the top eight. Anewkansas is going to be hungry for a second win too. Going into the final two games with eight points would put them in the driver’s seat and give them some needed breathing room. Temporary manager Everett Steadman will also want to do everything he can to cement his place within the world of international football. Making the knockout stages would improve his standing immensely and open the door to new job opportunities, even if he isn’t kept on at the Anewkansas national team after the Cup of Harmony.

If ranking was the only thing that mattered in football, these two teams would be equal. In all honesty though, Anewkansas is looking like the favourite to win this one. The side that plays in red, and only in red, has looked solid under Everett Steadman. They’ve yet to lose a game since his appointment following the World Cup Qualifiers, even after facing two seeded teams. They beat Dhemixia in their last game and drew against Katzeburg before that – both teams that Warkus lost against. Anewkansas might be boring to watch and overly physical but their pragmatic, results-oriented approach has them sitting in seventh while Warkus has dropped down to eleventh in the league table. Form and momentum are on their side.

The tactical matchup might also favour Anewkansas. Along with Viefaltig they make up the only two explicitly defensively minded sides in the competition. The Turtles have plenty of experience playing against attacking sides, whereas the Doves might struggle with adjusting their game plan to deal with Anewkansas’ physicality. Anewkansas have already proven that their foul-happy defenders and patient counter-attacking can be tricky to deal with against sides that beat Warkus.

It’s a pivotal game for both sides – an opportunity to grab a second win and make a statement to the world that they’re aiming for a spot in the top eight. We’ll have to see how both teams cope with that pressure and if Warkus can avoid picking up a three game losing streak.

Cup of Harmony 91 | IC thread

What Does It Mean To Be Suomen In This Game?

Who is online