The Outbox League (Closed)

by **South Newlandia** » Mon Feb 03, 2025 3:37 pm

Come get what you crave.

by **Drawkland** » Tue Feb 04, 2025 5:09 pm

Budding beef. Banter and rivalries in completely different sports. Fans spread across four regions (anywhere from one to three of them of the sporting variety). A sponsor more known for slinging grease than football (or football). This is an unsightly amalgamation that should not exist, an affront to whatever deity you consider holy.

Welcome to The Outbox League.

What sequence of misfortune could lead to such an affront to the multiverse's senses?

It starts like this. A Drawkian, a Ranorian, a Dhemixian, and a South Newlandian walk into a bar. Not at the same time, mind you, but eventually they gravitate towards one another. Though they aren't magnates in and of themselves, they all have wealthy contacts. College Football of the NationStatal variety is playing on various TVs in the sports pub establishment. Week 12 of NSCF action is on the menu, an excellent complement to the alcohol flowing at the bar.

Three patrons, though they don't know one another, slowly intoxicate themselves at the bar. University of Columbus-Prairie and Cold Hill University are doing battle. The Dhemixian repeatedly laments Craig Kelly's horrendous playcalling aloud. The Ranorian laughs as another UCP drive ends in three straight incompletions and a punt. They notice each other. Though divided by national allegiances, they draw closer. It's better than "enjoying" the game alone. Slowly, they grow friendly. It doesn't take long for them to notice the Drawkian, head barely ducking under the top of the bar to see the TV, ordering several shots as he watches Sadeg State University blow a seventeen point lead in the second half of their game against Roane State. The South Newlandian, well-versed in the NSCF scene despite his nation's lack of recent entries, is attracted to the sounds of schadenfreude and shit-talk despite the lack of alcohol in his system. As the games devolve into chaos, the college football chat evolves into passionate but (mostly) respectful talk about all sorts of ball. Some maniac suggests the Blue Sox will win the Multiverse Series in 4 games. Another guy insists that Lane Proudfoot will NOT win another RFL MVP.

The conversation meanders among the unlikely four compatriots as the evening goes on. Despite their collective propensity for college football, they unknowingly share connections and interest in the other kind of football. By chance, one of them bemoans the fact that their nation has no such banter in the realm of soccer. Their domestic league has no international component to their competition. Another sighs, regretting that their nations don't cross paths in sport quite often enough. In somebody's head, a lightbulb goes off.

"What if there was a league like this?" Like what? "Like this." Domestic teams from their four nations, Dhemixia, Drawkland, Ranoria, and South Newlandia, doing battle in a smaller league on an international scale. It's true that the lack of international component to each nation's domestic soccer scene had done a disservice for their ability to sign foreign talent. It's true that there's so many teams from all four nations, that no sensible format could fit them all. So what if it was more like NSCF? Send a few entries from each, throw them all together. It may be more difficult logistically ... but it was just crazy enough to work.

By such ~mis~fortune, each of the four men there that day knew a guy who knew a guy. They exchanged numbers. They agreed to meet at a future date. They endeavored to float the idea in their respective nations, to a few choice owners.

It turned out to not be so crazy after all. A few team ownership groups in each nation felt similarly to the bargoing foursome - it was a damn shame that their respective franchises had so little international market, especially in a world where association football had such a huge multiversal following. For the Ranorian and Dhemixian teams, it was a chance to extend to the international domestic level for the first time. For the Drawkian and South Newlandian teams, it was an opportunity to return to the level they hadn't been to in years. Of course, with this small league, entry to the IFCF wouldn't be guaranteed, but a small chance was better than no chance.

Somehow, everything came together. Four challengers from three nations, and two from South Newlandia (with their smaller market size, they couldn't find four teams with enough capital to participate in all this international travel). All these teams were either in the biggest market of their respective nations, or markets with pre-existing interest in the other nations due to baseball or gridiron football relevance.

From Dhemixia: Brigantine Town, Columbus Constrictors, Draegynsreim United, Multi Columbus
From Drawkland: Drawk Corps, Jaffro Storm, Pittsennat Reds, Sadeg Strikers
From Ranoria: Ashialand Blizzard, Dietrich Dirks, Ranoria City Privateers, Richardson Revolt
From South Newlandia: Rüsselsheim Broncos, Walstreim Lions

There was just one final piece to the puzzle, as all the owners came together with the four former bargoers, who were suddenly the joint commissioner committee. What were they going to call this prospective league? Who was going to help foot the bill for this entire operation? It seemed that things might fall apart at the eleventh hour, until a fryer-scented savior revealed themselves.

One of the Drawkian owners called in a solid to a friend of a friend. By sheer luck, there was a Drawkian megacorporation who'd been waiting for an opportunity to make a big jump into multiversal markets, a way to really get their name out there.

Outbox. The most iconic fast food franchise in Drawkland, with uncountable thousands of locations in pretty much every incorporated city and town in the nation, and a great multitude spread in major population centers across Sonnel. Famous for their delicious consistency, surprisingly reasonable ingredient quality, and non-painful prices, there's many reasons that millions of people had chomped on an Outbox burger. Though Outbox had sponsored cars in NSSCRA for a few years, it hadn't made the big splash on the international market that they'd hoped for. They needed something bigger. Flashier. For better or worse, WAY more noticeable.

Even with the general disdain for corporate sponsors plastering their name on the international football scale, Outbox took the risk. They'd lend their name and funds to the league, in exchange for the publicity and first dibs on all marketing opportunities. Against all odds, The Outbox League was finally ready to debut.

"Come Get What You Crave!"

by **South Newlandia** » Wed Feb 05, 2025 6:14 am

The Outbox League: South Newlandian City Previews

Walstreim Lions

City and State: Walstreim, Little Plough Islands
Stadium: Walstreim Park (18,000)
Nickname: The Lions
Colours: Red, Orange
Manager: Lambros Tantalopoulos (Vdara)

GK     Nicholas Turner        21  SNL
LB     A. Dalla-Mitchell      26  SNL  ^ Halpenley United (SYL), free
CB (C) Katerina Stylianou     27  VDR  ^ Betham FC (SYL), free
CB     Marc Westond           34  SNL  ^ Chamberley City (SYL), free
RB     Hazel Barnes           19  SNL
DM     Angela Russell         22  SNL  ^ Acondo FC (SYL), free
LM     Niklas Hoffmann        23  TFS  ^ Storm Wolves (TFS), free
RM     Mukutan Linder         19  SNL
OM     Ron Pachide            17  SNL
ST     Stuart Hammersley      31  TKT  ^ Alnio (CMT), 1.4 mil
ST     Olivia Burnes          21  XAN  ^ University of Tacoma (XAN), free

GK     Ethan Cauhan           19  SNL
DF     Arthur Bailey          20  SNL
MF     Marlene Robertson      19  SNL
MF     Ann Morgan             18  SNL
ST     Jesse Johnson          17  SNL

You may remember the Walstreim Lions from the old South Newlandian Soccer League, which eventually folded, but won repeated league titles as well as a CEdC and appearing in a CL Ro16 for absolutely no reason at all. Well, football wasn’t dead here – just dormant. With the formation of The Outbox League, money has also arrived again, and the Lions were able to make a number of High Profile moves. While the Outbox League is seen by many media outlets as just a way to make a quick buck, being compared to a move to RLStates Saudi-Arabia or the US (except without the political baggage), fans in South Newlandia have never stopped being passionate about football.

The big moves started with the return of Lambros Tantalopoulos to one of his old stomping grounds. Decades ago, the Vdaran was on those young Lions teams of the SNSL, playing in the defensive midfield. He embarked on a long and successful career with the Vdaran national team (which he captained for a time) and in Ko-oren, but eventually retired from play. Now, he will lead the Walstreim Lions, which he is probably qualified to do. He’ll run the same 4-4-2 diamond formation the team ran back in the old days.

The coaching decision also certainly helped to attract the biggest new star for the Lions; that being defender Katerina Stylianou. The Vdaran played together with Tantalopoulos on the Vdaran national team, and was recently left clubless in response to the Sylestonian League entering hibernation. Staying in Esportiva, Stylianou will get to apply her speed and experience in a new environment. Entering her prime, she has also been chosen by her former teammate to be the captain.

While Stylianou has the highest market value on the team, the only player the Lions actually paid a transfer fee for was Stuart Hammersley. The Tikariotian came up in Chromatika, and has been a consistent goalscorer with quick moves for Alnio before ultimately becoming expendable. Hammersley has logged some time with the Tikariotian national team, and will likely be the most dangerous striker on the squad, in addition to being expected to rise to the occasion as a team leader.

Two more players of note on the squad are young Esportivan foreigners hoping for a big break. Niklas Hoffmann from The 14 Stars features a rare blend of speed and strength on the wing, but remains extremely raw and inexperienced; perhaps a problem on a squad where the average age is even younger than him. Olivia Burnes played in college in Xanneria, and is still mostly notable as the younger sister of Allison Burnes; but will hope to impress as a young striker in Walstreim.

There’s also some South Newlandians, some with Elephants experience, some young players that just happened to be nearby, filling out the squad. Coach Lambros will have his work cut out for him; there are a few stars here, most notably Stylianou and Hammersley, but the team is otherwise mostly very young and of questionable abilities. The defense looks solid, with Stylianou and the experienced Westond, but they could be under a lot of pressure with a lackluster goalkeeper and a young midfield assembled from spare parts. It remains to be seen if the rest of the Outbox League can capitalise on the weaknesses of the Lions.

Rüsselsheim Broncos

City and State: Rüsselsheim, Nova Llamanea
Stadium: RTC Coliseum (20,000)
Nickname: The Broncos, The Horsies
Colours: Blue, White
Manager: Abel Wesoloski-Okafor (Banija)

GK     GONG Xiaolei           23  YZH  ^ Beiyun Stars (YZH), 1 mil
LB     Talek Kamili           23  SNL
CB     Opio Bikya             34  BNJ  ^ Herzegovina City FC (BNJ), 3.5 mil
CB     Leonie Fuchs           21  SNL
RB     Vansh Statton          20  SNL
LM     Leon Mazza             30  SNL  ^ Whitepool (SYL), free
CM     Sano Bairei            23  CMT  ^ Felswyr State University (CMT), free
RM     Angela Heath           18  KYP  ^ Roddens City (KYP), free
ST     Napoleon Dresdner      25  KAT  ^ Inverhaven City (KAT), 0.3 mil
ST (C) Abel Wesoloski-Okafor  39  BNJ  ^ unretired
ST     Levin Voigt            27  SNL  ^ Capitol Athletic (SYL), free

GK     Michael Morgan         19  SNL
DF     Laura Pascual          20  SNL
MF     Denise Harris          20  SNL
MF     Agastya-K. Rogers      19  SNL
ST     Douglas Campos         21  SNL

The Broncos are a new team to South Newlandian soccer. In general, Rüsselsheim is on the smaller side of South Newlandian cities you might’ve heard of, and back in the SNSL days, their teams never really accomplished too much. However, they did enter a contract with Banijan mega-conglomerate RTC, which has heavily sponsored the team, which is why their name is on the Broncos' stadium. The incoming funds were invested into attracting great players that’ll also help maximise publicity, and that’s certainly something they accomplished.

The two biggest blockbuster moves they made were both for Banijans. Opio Bikya is still one of the best players at his position, as a veteran CB with plenty of experience on the Banijan national team, and now a chip on his shoulder after Herzegovina City chose to let him go. The Broncos paid a lot of funny for the privilege, sending 3.5 million of their Banijan money to Banija, the highest sum any Outbox League team paid for a foreigner by a wide margin. He’ll do wonders to help develop the rest of the team, which does seem a little thin on the defensive end surrounding him.
If you think that’s a blockbuster move, you’ll be even more shocked that the Broncos were also able to convince Abel Wesoloski-Okafor to come out of retirement for them. One of the biggest superstars in his prime, Wesoloski-Okafor is a two-time WC winner, a former Galactico Player of the Season and remains the all-time Banijan leader in international goals scored. He’s going to be biggest name in this league, probably by an order of magnitude, and will be the Broncos player-manager. Whether his skills on the pitch have held up, and whether he has any in the first place as a manager, remains to be proven – but graded on publicity, this is easily the best move the Broncos could have made.

The two Banijans might have to carry a little bit, but the Horsies do have some other good players; most notably Gong Xiaolei between the posts, a great ascending keeper from Yuezhou. While he does prefer to stay between his posts, he’s done very well with the Stars. He’ll get plenty work to do with a defense that probably relies on Bikya too much.

Napoleon Dresdner was let go by Inverhaven for pretty cheap, but the Broncos still see the Katzeburgian as a very valuable striker that’ll help in the short- and long-term. In general, the Broncos focused on players with a chip on their shoulder, cast off by their previous teams.
There’s also some young players; Sano Bairei developed at Felswyr State, and the Broncos will ask her to do a lot in the middle of the field, helping on both sides of the field. Angela Heath, meanwhile, started out as a Central Midfielder with Roddens City, but the Broncos have chosen to move the Kytlerian to the wing, where she should be able to well with her technique and passing touch; she would probably have struggled with the more physical opponents in the center.

Some Elephants found their way on this team as well, but who cares about those, really. The Broncos look to be the stronger team in South Newlandia (which should be expected, given they spent much more), but could also be vulnerable on the defensive end of their 4-3-3 formation. Their strikers should be able to do well, but whether Wesoloski-Okafor can get the team to play disciplined, effective defense in front of Gong is another question. A lot rides on Opio Bikya teaching his fairly young defensive teammates to be effective on the back.

by **Drawkland** » Wed Feb 05, 2025 11:42 pm

THE OUTBOX LEAGUE - DRAWKIAN TEAM PREVIEWS

On rosters, * marks the captain of the squad, ^ marks a player who is immortal.

Four teams bravely eschewed their spots in Drawkian League Kickerball (DLK) to join The Outbox League. Willing to take this risk in order to increase their international branding, make more money, and hopefully not ruin their players with a grueling portal travel schedule. Will it work out? Only time will tell.

Some context on Drawkian quirks: Soccer is a female-only sport in Drawkland, making a natural counterpart to gridiron football which is traditionally all-male. A vast majority of soccer players ply their trade at Drawkian universities which offer 5-year degrees. After they graduate, they enter the amateur talent draft where they have a chance to be picked up by a professional squad. Each team in the Drawkian soccer draft is also permitted to select one player straight from high school per year, though some choose not to use this option depending on the available talent pool. This means that a majority of Drawkian pro rookies are 25 years old. Drawkian athletes experience their typical "prime" in the 30-35 age range. Many play through their 40s, though most players will retire before they hit 50 unless they have very great longevity. Drawkians have some interesting physical attributes different from the average human, which you can read about here. There's also some immortal athletes around here, though only one currently resides on one of these four rosters. You can read about that here.

_________ DRAWK CORPS
Location: Drawk City, Drawkland
Stadium: Corps Central Stadium (177,000)
Style: +3.5 / 3-3-1-3
Manager: Riley Antonina (DRK, 76)
ps  ##  STARTERS        nat age
GK  0   Paulene Mondo	DRK  26
LB  1   Caroline White	DRK  41
CB  2   Karlene Pearle	DRK  29
RB  3   Margeaux Gage	DRK  26
LM  4   Shay Janson     DRK  30
CM  6   Kelsey Labelle	DRK  46
RM  7   Kaylynn Whitney	DRK  36
AM  8   Darya de Luca	DRK  31
LF  9   Adrianne Eaton	DRK  36
CF  10  Riley Fields *	DRK  35
RF  11  Addyson Santana	DRK  21

ps  ##  BENCH           nat age
GK  12  Caitlin Marina	DRK  28
DF  14  Anita Nicolai	DRK  31
MD  15  Angie Sheeney	DRK  39
FW  16  Kathleen Cali	DRK  33
Perhaps the most surprising Drawkian inclusion to The Outbox League came out of Drawk City. The ultimate blue bloods of sport in Drawkland, the Drawk Corps,* decided to submit their professional soccer franchise to TOL. For the longest time, Drawk Corps was synonymous with success within Drawkland's borders, throughout its various leagues. Though the gridiron football arm of the Corps is arguably the most historically successful, the association football Drawk Corps squad has quite a legacy of dominance and dynasties, including such legends as the late Katie Madison.

Ever since Drawkland began entering in the international stage, however, the Corps has found it strangely difficult to tap into the international market. Despite having a chokehold on marketing, grabbing many of each league's superstars and topping their tables year after year, Drawk Corps doesn't have that same air of superiority when it comes to overseas action. The Corps never made any splashes in UICA when DLK submitted entries, and their university gridiron team was laughably forgettable in their four-season NSCF stint. Even their normally-dominant university basketball squad has failed to capture any magic in the NSCAA tournament. Many believe that if it weren't for the massive Corps reputation, the Drawk Corps U basketball team wouldn't even be part of the Drawkian NSCAA entry anymore.

The founding of The Outbox League presented an opportunity for Drawk Corps to finally break into that lucrative sporting market. Seeing places like Sadeg and, heavens above, Jaffro get all the talk from overseas and overportal fans infuriated Corps management. The Corps are supposed to be the first team you think when you think of the best domestic talent Drawkland has to offer. The silver-and-cobalt should strike fear in the opposition, not vague but unimpressed recognition. It seemed almost unthinkable, but leaving DLK for TOL was a last-ditch gambit for the Drawk Corps. If they could come out on top in this more internationally-renowned league, perhaps even qualify for something like IFCF, they could finally shake this mediocrity.

Of course, backed by their enormous fanbase, this roster is the typical fare you'd expect from the Corps. Arguably the best among the four Drawkian teams in TOL, it's a roster with no glaring holes and some national team talent. The captain and face of the franchise for many years, Riley Fields, has been a mainstay on the Kick Corps since the Elite Eleven were given the boot. She leads a simply excellent attacking group including Adrianne Eaton and youngster Addyson Santana, who was the Corps' high school graduate pick in the draft a couple years ago. Santana was absolutely worth that pick; even as a 21-year-old she's probably the second-best player on the team. If she continues to develop, she'll likely be a mainstay on the national team roster someday.

The midfield is also pretty solid, headed by Kaylynn Whitney. Kelsey Labelle provides the veteran presence for this squad, and she's still no slouch (though she could fall off the aging cliff at any moment). The defense is likely the most suspect part of this roster, with two pretty young players in Karlene Pearle and Margeaux Gage who haven't yet hit their stride. Caroline White has been holding down the Corps defensively for many years, but she's not the player she once was. They get the job done, but if you needed to locate a weakness to take advantage of, the back line is it.

Again, on paper, this is the best squad on the Drawkian entry. However, pretty much every Drawk Corps squad to see international play has been inexplicably embarrassing. This is the chance for the Corps to finally break away from that reputation internationally ... but this may just be a time we see narratives get reinforced.

*Quick aside. The "corps" moniker is a common designation in Drawkland for mid- to large-sized organizations of various functions. The Drawk Corps is one of the biggest and oldest of these organizations, featuring hundreds of thousands of members who pay nominal membership fees in exchange for excellent nationwide benefits and career opportunities. The Drawk Corps in particular had enough capital to establish professional sports franchises which stood the test of time into the modern day. This is SEPARATE from the Grid/Base/Net/Kick Corps, which are the nicknames for Drawkland's national teams in their respective sports. Drawk Corps =/= Net Corps. Still confused? It's fine, I've explained this so many times over the years but it's too late to change now so I just stopped caring when people get it wrong. Contact Drawkland for additional details.

_________ JAFFRO STORM
Location: Jaffro, Drawkland
Stadium: Thunder Park (105,500)
Style: +2 / 3-4-3
Manager: Katherine Henson (DRK, 66)
ps  ##  STARTERS            nat age
GK  0   Angelique Morse     DRK  30
LB  1   Katalina Lee	    DRK  28
CB  2   Cynthia Severina    DRK  45
RB  3   Nicolette de Vries  DRK  38
LM  4   Mavis Leblanc	    DRK  29
CM  5   Jetta Romano	    DRK  27
CM  7   Tessie Bone	    DRK  34
RM  8   Eliza Chance	    DRK  31
LF  10  Lisa Baylor	    DRK  26
CF  11  Tatiana Rafferty    DRK  40
RF  22  Cam Cross *	    DRK  61^

ps  ##  BENCH            nat age
GK  12  Lucetta Chelo	 DRK  23
DF  13  Thea Samuelson	 DRK  44
MD  15  Venus Hartley	 DRK  45
FW  17  Tamika Sebastian DRK  40
Funnily enough, the Storm aren't going to be the first professional team in Jaffro to participate in a multi-national "domestic" league. The rather basic-named Jaffro Drawks were the result of relocation for a franchise from South Newlandia formerly called the Dragons in the Llamaphant Professional Baseball league. Though the franchise that moved in hadn't had much success since the founding of LPB, the new team in Jaffro became quite the force to be reckoned with, loaded with locally-sourced Drawkian talent. In only their third season in Jaffro, the Drawks won the South Newlandian side of the league and played in the Multiverse Series.

With the success of the Drawks on the "international" scale, it was only natural that the longest-tenured pro franchise in Jaffro would jump for a similar opportunity. The Storm were the face of Jaffro until the Drawks moved in. Saying the Storm are jealous of the attention would maybe be excessive, but they certainly weren't going to pass up the chance to show their skills like their crosstown siblings. One of the players on the roster, Cam Cross, even provided the last bit of funding needed to construct the ballpark and earned a minority stake in the Drawks franchise. These teams are truly interlinked, and it's no surprise that the Storm were the first franchise to confirm their intent to participate in TOL.

Now, the team itself? They may not be making waves. To be fair, it's not like any of the teams from the other nations in TOL are soccer powerhouses, but the Storm are a bit of a one-woman show. The aforementioned Cam Cross, now immortal and essentially locked in her athletic prime forever, is the face of this franchise. She was the high school graduate pick of the storm over 4 decades ago, and made a big enough splash to earn a national team invitation following her rookie season. Her clutch performance in Baptism of Fire 64 earned her a spot in the starting lineup by qualifying. Considering the talent Drawkland has at striker, that's an enormous compliment. She went on to have a decorated career with Lexington Victory in New Gelderland before returning to her original home in Jaffro. Now blessed with immortality, her multiverse-class skill is here to stay. Unsurprisingly, she's the captain of this outfit.

Unfortunately, there's really no other superstars on the Storm roster. Rookie forward Lisa Baylor looks like she'll offer reasonable support for Cross, and Mavis Leblanc has been developing pretty well on the wing since she was drafted a few years ago. Defensively, Nicolette de Vries is still aging well after her decent prime, but she's no showstopper. Otherwise, the team is mostly draft picks that haven't developed enough or veterans that can fill holes effectively but not offer anything elite.

As far as expectations, the Storm will certainly be competitive, but they will go as Cam Cross goes. If Cam is on fire, the Storm may capture lightning in a bottle. If the rest of TOL can figure out how to limit her, then it may be a long season in Jaffro. At least Thunder Park will be rumbling no matter what!

_________ PITTSENNAT REDS
Location: Pittsennat, Drawkland
Stadium: Metal Mills Park (103,350)
Style: -2 / 4-4-2
Manager: Miri Windtide (CEN, 48)
ps  ##  STARTERS            nat age
GK  0   Addie Royce	    DRK  26
LB  1   Lara Mitchell	    DRK  33
CB  2   Rachael Bright *    DRK  34
CB  4   Alexis Germaine	    DRK  29
RB  5   Martha Crespi	    DRK  44
LM  6   Adele Summers	    DRK  22
CM  7   Olive Wilkinson	    DRK  27
CM  8   Cass Foster	    DRK  43
RM  9   Rebecca Quigley	    DRK  39
ST  10  Alanna Hanson	    DRK  31
CF  19  Praxis Collingwood  DRK  42

ps  ##  BENCH             nat age
GK  12  Phyllis Wells	  DRK  32
DF  15  Teresa Lestrange  DRK  29
MD  16  Charlene Huxley	  DRK  27
FW  11  Annie Minett	  DRK  35
The Reds aren't the biggest franchise in Drawkland, nor are they the baddest. Really, this middling squad from a midsized town (by Drawkian standards) may have been a surprising pick for some to jump to TOL, but it makes a lot of sense once you consider logistics. Pittsennat is the closest major city to Iarokannet Bay, the massive shipping/transportation hub on Drawkland's northeastern coast which contains the interspace portals that travel to the sporting regions. The cost of portal transport is already high enough to make this league venture almost unworkable, but at least the Drawkian end of the leg will be as short as possible for the Reds.

As for the team itself, expectations are a little interesting following a management shakeup. Longtime manager Wendy Parsons got a better job with the Metropolon Lights after her not-bad job filling in as Kick Corps national team manager following the much-needed firing of Francesca Wells. Now Cenian skipper Miri Windtide has the reins, so it'll be a question on how well she can handle this new job and the rather haphazard league situation.

At least Windtide will be inheriting a pretty good team. On paper, the Reds actually have the best squad besides the Drawk Corps to enter TOL. This is mostly bolstered by a last-minute transfer, signing longtime Drawkian national teamer Praxis Collingwood after her long tenure in Quebec and Shingoryeo with two teams. Praxis is known as a bit of a loose cannon with experience at both midfield and striker, but she'll be expected to be the premier scoring option here in Pittsennat. She's got pretty good help on that front, with Alanna Hanson developing nicely. Hanson likely would've been the featured striker had the Collingwood transfer not gone through.

Unlike most Drawkian squads, Pittsennat's pride doesn't come from their forwards, or even their midfield. This isn't to say the midfield is bad, with Olive Wilkinson entering her prime and Rebecca Quigley gracefully nearing the end of hers. This is more a credit to the defense of the Reds, featuring Lara Mitchell and national teamer Rachael Bright. The weakest spot is probably keeper Addie Royce, who didn't impress much in her rookie season, but is hopefully on the way up. Bright in particular is going to be the key contributor here, which is why she's been the captain for the greater part of a decade. If she's on her game, the Pittsennat defense will be something to fear, and if Collingwood takes her return to her homeland well, the Reds may be firing on both ends.

_________ SADEG STRIKERS
Location: Sadeg, Drawkland
Stadium: Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500)
Style: +4 / 3-3-4
Manager: Emilia de la Fontaine (DRK, 70)
ps  ##  STARTERS         nat age
GK  0   Blanche Dunbar	 DRK  26
LB  1   Emma Thompson	 DRK  45
CB  2   Amy Kay  	 DRK  36
RB  3   Terry Ingram	 DRK  33
LM  4   Carla Kearney	 DRK  29
CM  5   Taylor Traverso	 DRK  27
RM  6   Dina Prescott	 DRK  33
WF  7   Maria Franco	 DRK  33
LF  8   Rosie Woods	 DRK  21
CF  9   Nella Allegri	 DRK  32
RF  11  Shelby Rider *	 DRK  42

ps  ##  BENCH            nat age
GK  12  Karlene Travers  DRK  39
DF  13  Joyce Bellrose   DRK  25
MD  14  Emily Cobb       DRK  23
FW  15  Ashlea Bruce     DRK  41
Besides Jaffro, this may have been the most obvious inclusion for Drawkland's entry to TOL. The Sadeg Strikers are one of the newest DLK franchises, joining in their round of expansion a few years back. They've been decent since their founding as a franchise, but the Strikers don't really have any "history" to worry about leaving behind. On top of this, the city of Sadeg is pretty notable overseas, mostly thanks to the excellent sports program at Sadeg State University. Their varsity teams have captured international titles in gridiron, basketball, AND baseball. If you asked somebody from Ranoria or Dhemixia to name a city from Drawkland that didn't contain the word "Drawk," they'd probably say Sadeg. There may be a mention of Cavsar and a subsequent slap to the face before that, but that's neither here nor there.

Given the lack of true roots in DLK and the ready-made international reputation for the city, Strikers management considered the move to TOL a no-brainer. Now the issue will be if the team can actually compete at this level, given their inability to make any splashes thus far in DLK. Through their few years of action, they've only made the DLK playoffs twice, with only one win to show for it. Questions remain on if this team can really produce when the pressure mounts.

Sporting a traditional Drawkian 3-3-4 (which some would probably just consider a particularly aggressive 3-3-1-3), the Strikers take to their namesake with gusto. Leading the charge is perennial Drawkian national teamer Shelby Rider, joined by a stable core of Maria Franco and Nella Allegri. The most interesting inclusion on the forward line is Rosie Woods, who was Sadeg's high school grad pick this draft. Though she's still a young prospect, she promises some real potential. If she blooms early, this team could suddenly get scary.

Scary from a scoring perspective, at least. Both the midfield and defense have a couple solid contributors like Taylor Traverso and Amy Kay, but the rest of the squad isn't much to write home about. Second-year keeper Blanche Dunbar has mildly exceeded expectations, but she was a late draft pick so that isn't saying a whole lot. Ultimately, this team probably has the most "boom or bust" vibe of the Drawkian TOL squads. If they boom at the right time, they could make some serious splashes. If they bust ... well, it might get ugly. Most likely things will even out and they'll finish midtable, but the potential for greatness is there if the offense can hard carry.

by **Dhemixia** » Thu Feb 06, 2025 10:37 pm

THE OUTBOX LEAGUE: DHEMIXIAN TEAM PREVIEWS

Dhemixia has a domestic football scene? The answer is a complicated yes, but The Outbox League provides the four teams, Multi Columbus, Brigantine Town, Draegynsreim United, and Columbus Constrictors, with their first taste of league-style competition. All four teams have existed for a while, as a kind of catch fence for college talent looking to go international, meaning they perpetually lacked structure as a league, instead acting like every game was a friendly. Mainly, the teams are here for the corporate sponsors alongside the league format, and hey, maybe to go win a league or two, however unrealistic it is.

MULTI COLUMBUS

City: Columbus
Stadium: Dhemix Stadium, cap. 45,293
Colors: Blue and Gold
Manager: Mateo Chambers, 43 (DHE)
Strategy: +2, (3-1-4-2)
pos.   #   STARTERS _  _  _  _  _  nat.   age
-----------------------------------------------
GK C 99  Wesley Williamson         DHE    21
CB   14   Alberte Plouffe          CMT    23
CB   27   James Campbell           DHE    18
CB   8   Dominic Sanford           DHE    24
CDM 10 Ludvig Cederberg            TKT    18  
CM   6   Eric Workman              DHE    24
CM   3   Timothy Hawkins           DHE    26
CAM  25 Isaac Frost                DHE    18
RW   29  Bradley Holcomb           DHE    18
ST   20   Yashida Roku             CMT    23
LW   1   Gustavo Poole             DHE    18
It's only fair to start with the oldest club of the bunch, Multiverciale Columbus, or Multi Columbus. Splitting off from the national team when the FA was created, Multi Columbus sports the only international players of the Dhemixian teams, two Chromatik in Ludvig Cederberg and Yashida Roku, and one Tikariotan in Plouffe.

The strong point of this team is definitely its defense. Having phenom GK Wesley Williamson, young Chromatik Alberte Plouffe, veteran CB Dominic Sanford, and Cederberg would each be great on their own, but having them all simultaneously is practically a cheat code. Paired with their attacking style, Multi and their defense look on paper like a force to be reckoned with, but with a lackluster front line and midfield outside of Hawkins and Roku, chemistry issues and attrition could be their biggest enemies. Because of Multi's general lacking offensively, we'll just have to see if defense actually wins championships.

DRAEGYNSREIM UNITED

City: Draegynsreim, Columbus
Stadium: Firebreather Park, cap. 37,821
Colors: Green and Dark Purple
Manager: Wade Mitchell, 39 (DHE)
Strategy: +1, (4-4-2)
pos.   #   STARTERS _  _  _  _  _  nat.   age
-----------------------------------------------
GK   33   Leon Maldonado           DHE    18
CB   12   Atticus Davies           DHE    18
CB   10   Philip Olson             DHE    18
CB   0    Carlos Peters            DHE    34
CB   19   Kingsley Barnes          DHE    18  
CM   20   Louis Guerrero           DHE    18
CM   30   Dustin Alford            DHE    23
CM C 14  Gregory Baker             DHE    29
CM   5    Arian Contreras          DHE    18
ST   11   Lyon Harrington          DHE    18
ST   90   Marvin Bolton            DHE    25
Moving to the hardest to spell and coolest name in all of TOL, Draegynsreim isn't exactly in the best of spots. At only 4 NTers, the lowest of the Dhemixian sides, Wade Mitchell essentially plays a 4-4-2 out of necessity on defense.

If there was a real strongsuit for this team, it's the midfield. Comprised of fringe starter Dustin Alford and captain Gregory Baker, the central midfield is hard to beat. However, most midfields rely on fluid defenses and stout outside personnel, neither of which Draegynsreim has at their disposal. If a team wants to beat this deadly duo in the center of the field, all they'd have to do is play with and go around, detrimental to a weak defense like this. Without much of a front line outside of Marvin Bolton, the game plan from Mitchell will almost certainly be a high press midfield to turn the ball over and funnel it to Bolton.

COLUMBUS CONSTRICTORS

City: Columbus
Stadium: River's Edge Stadium, cap. 39,102
Colors: Black and Green
Manager: Jaden Hjalmarsson, 47 (DHE)
Strategy: -3, (3-5-2)
pos.   #   STARTERS _  _  _  _  _  nat.   age
-----------------------------------------------
GK   20   Sebastian Riggs          DHE    18
CB   21   Rick Wilson              DHE    32
CB   11   Jeremiah Bates           DHE    18
CB   29   Sean Pittman             DHE    18
LM   33   Alex Bradford            DHE    18  
CM   44   Lewis Sims               DHE    27
CM   8    Rory Hunter              DHE    18
CM   17   Mario Hutchinson         DHE    20
RM C 10   Grant Clarke             DHE    22
ST   26   Luis Burns               DHE    29
ST   3    Nathaniel Davidson       DHE    18
Next, we move to Columbus' arguably blandest team, the Columbus Constrictors. Being the only franchise from Dhemixia to follow the naming conventions around the league and having a color palette straight out of night vision goggles, the Constrictors are the newest team to become official of the bunch.

With a squad like this, the strong point is again the midfield. Captain Grant Clarke, Mario Hutchinson, and Lewis Sims up top in the midfield would form a deadly high press, much like Draegynsreim, but there's still less pieces to circulate the ball to after a takeaway. Burns is the only one with experience on the front line, being a fringe starter for the NT with lots of upside for Jaden Hjalmarsson. Another weak defense with the exception of Rick Wilson force the Constrictors into running a 3-5-2, a rare but usable formation to make the focal point the central midfield and to deny the opponent the attacking third opportunity.

BRIGANTINE TOWN

City: Columbus
Stadium: Brigantine Park, cap. 54,387
Colors: Blue and Light Blue
Manager: Max Kelly, 38 (DHE)
Strategy: +3, (4-2-3-1)
pos.   #   STARTERS _  _  _  _  _  nat.   age
-----------------------------------------------
GK   37   Colin Atkins             DHE    20
CB   25   Noah Holland             DHE    18
CB   6    Drew McMahon             DHE    23
CB   18   Simon Onnelsuks          DHE    18
CB   81   Bobby Dewitt             DHE    23
CM   20   Henry Bennett            DHE    18
CM   39   Blake Warren             DHE    31
CM   9    Kyle Richardson          DHE    18
CM   4    Adrian Bush              DHE    25
ST    12   Trenton McBride         DHE    18
ST C  33   Jonathan Obisana        DHE    21
Moving to our final team, Brigantine is the most well-suited team out of the four. Playing in the same stadium as NSCF's University of Columbus-Prairie Blue Jays, home-field advantage for them is definitely a real factor in games. I could genuinely see Brigantine slotting into 5th or 4th place this season if they can stay healthy and the fans show up.

Colin Atkins is fine in net, better than both Draegynsreim and the Constrictors' goalies, but McMahon is kind of on an island in the central defense. Luckily for him, he does have some help in the midfield with Adrian Bush and Blake Warren. The defense is the only partial problem for this squad, but otherwise, they've got a good midfield and front line, especially with running a 4-2-3-1 and iso'ing the captain Obisana up top to funnel to. Much like Bolton, Obisana is your shot-taker striker, you're going to want that for the pure volume of attempts if they can get the ball to him consistently with a counter. Again, I would expect this team around the top 5 if not in it.

by **South Newlandia** » Fri Feb 07, 2025 7:12 am

Scores Post MD1-7

Matchday 1

Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–2 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–1 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 1–1 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–0 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–1 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 3–3 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 0–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)

Matchday 2

Brigantine Town (DHE) 3–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 0–0 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 3–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 0–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 3–0 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 0–1 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 2–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)

Matchday 3

Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–0 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 2–0 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 4–4 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 1–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 3–0 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–1 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 2–0 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)

Matchday 4

Brigantine Town (DHE) 4–1 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 0–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–4 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 3–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–0 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 5–3 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 4–1 Drawk Corps (DRK)

Matchday 5

Drawk Corps (DRK) 1–4 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 3–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 1–0 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 0–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–1 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–6 Draegynsreim United (DHE)

Matchday 6

Brigantine Town (DHE) 4–0 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–1 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–2 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 1–0 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 1–5 Multi Columbus (DHE)

Matchday 7

Multi Columbus (DHE) 4–1 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 1–0 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 5–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–0 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–0 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–2 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–4 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

Richard Outbox Cup Round 1:
Multi Columbus (DHE)           2–1    Herzegovina City FC (BNJ)
Richardson Revolt (RAN)        0–2    Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN)           0–1     Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Brigantine Town (DHE)          0–0        Walstreim Lions (SNL) (1–0 AET)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK)           1–1           Jaffro Storm (DRK) (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK)          0–0    Draegynsreim United (DHE) (1–1 AET) (3–5 pen.)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)  0–1  Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Drawk Corps (DRK)              0–1         Istria City FC (BNJ)

Round 2 Draw:
Draegynsreim United (DHE)       -          Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Multi Columbus (DHE)            -      Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)       -   Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Brigantine Town (DHE)           -          Istria City FC (BNJ)

League Standings

P                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brigantine Town (DHE)            7    5   1   1    18    8  +10    16
 2 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)            7    5   1   1     8    4   +4    16
 3 Multi Columbus (DHE)             7    4   1   2    20   15   +5    13
 4 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)      7    3   3   1     8    4   +4    12
 5 Walstreim Lions (SNL)            7    4   0   3    10    9   +1    12
 6 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)    7    3   2   2     9    4   +5    11
 7 Draegynsreim United (DHE)        7    3   1   3    12   11   +1    10
   Jaffro Storm (DRK)               7    3   1   3    12   11   +1    10
 9 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)             7    3   0   4     3    4   −1     9
10 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)        7    2   1   4     7    9   −2     7
11 Richardson Revolt (RAN)          7    2   1   4     8   12   −4     7
12 Drawk Corps (DRK)                7    2   1   4     7   15   −8     7
13 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)             7    1   2   4     7   12   −5     5
14 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)         7    0   3   4     7   18  −11     3

by **South Newlandia** » Fri Feb 07, 2025 7:13 am

Rüsselsheim at Multi, MD3

The Broncos at Multi wasn’t a game with especially high expectations. Both teams had enjoyed an opening day win followed by a loss. The South Newlandian guests were slightly favoured by most experts, but only barely. Multi, playing at home in Dhemix Stadium, in front of their home fans, would certainly have a good chance to beat a Broncos team that was still finding its footing with a very young team. Few fans were expecting one of the games of the season, but in the Outbox League, you never know what’s in the Dhemix.
Captains Wesley Williamson (Multi) and player-manager Abel Wesoloski-Okafor shook hands at the center circle; with the Banijan winning the coin toss.

“Welcome to the coverage today here in Columbus, as we’ve got an exciting Matchday Three on our hands with the Broncos, currently 6th, visiting Multi, who find themselves in ninth place at this point”
“What do you think is going to be making the difference in this game?” “Well, a lot of the talk on the Broncos having an overabundance of wealth up front and a weak backline; but so far, its been quite the opposite, with both their games ending 1-0; credit to Gong Xiaolei, but they’ll want to actually convert some of their own chances. Multi, meanwhile, will look to bounce back from their 0-3 loss last week; we’ll see how the team responds”
“Today’s game and coverage are presented by Outbox – Come get what you crave! – as Chromatik Yashida Roku is about to get the ball rolling here” “He’ll play to his teammate, Gustavo Poole, who is somehow wearing the number one as a forward. When they said the Outbox League would show you things you don’t see anywhere else, they weren’t lying”

“Williamson will strike the ball long and deep, finding Hawkins who can control the ball. Out to the left with Workman, who’s pushing the ball down the left side, leaves Statton in the dust and pulls inside! Sharp into the middle, its Roku, and that’s in! Multi grab a quick lead, they’re up 1-0 after just five minutes. Yashida Roku, the Chromatik, with the go-ahead goal from short distance, absolutely no chance for Gong between the posts, who’s looking disappointed at his teammates”

“Multi in possession again; the Broncos never quite finding into the game here” “Instead, you can find yourself with a good deal at Outbox; enter code MULTI or BRONCOS for five percent off your next meal deal” “That’s always a good idea. Much like Ludvig Cederberg here, who’s just going to try his luck with a dribbling here, makes Mazza look silly, entering the box with space, shoots, scores! 2-0 Multi! Hammers it right under the crossbar, the Tikariotian with a beautiful shot, and the Broncos look shellshocked!”

“And the teams are headed into halftime here, Multi still up 2-0 with the Broncos struggling to answer at all. Williamson has looked great between the posts, clearing the few good shots the Broncos have gotten off. Do you think the Broncos will find back into this game?” “I don’t know, but if you find yourself at Outbox, you can get five percent off –“

“Broncos still looking to get back into this game, but time’s running out, just under half an hour left. By now, Campos has come on for Wesoloski-Okafor, and Denise Harris is on the pitch replacing Vansh Statton. They’ll have a set piece here, brought in by Sano Bairei, pulled in sharply, Opio Bikya rises highest, and scores! 1-2, the Broncos are back in the game, as the Banijan superstar gets the guests on the board!”

“The goal has given the game a lot of life, with the Broncos all of a sudden looking like a completely different team. Harris with the ball here, to Heath, Heath with a great dribbling, finds Dresdner up front, who’s rudely brought down by Campbell near the edge of the box! Referee signals a penalty, but they’ll review it, surely” “Video review, presented by RTC; making sure things are accurate!” […] “A penalty is confirmed, impetuous tackle by the Dhemixian defender. Dresdner will shoot himself, with the striker from Katzeburg stepping up with Wesoloski-Okafor already having taken himself off. Short run-up, sends Williamson the wrong direction, and it’s all level, 2-2, with about twenty minutes left to play!

“An exciting game has developed all of a sudden, as the momentum has shifted away from the home team. Multi fans in attendance are pushing their team, looking to get back into the game, and Cederberg, the young Tikariotian, is pushing the ball downfield here once again. Playing a great game. Pulls inside, pass to Roku, lets it roll to Hawkins in the backfield, and he scores! 3-2 Multi! Amazing heads-up play by the Chromatik, doesn’t touch the ball on the pass to him knowing Hawkins is lurking, catches every Bronco on the field flat-footed, amazing goal, and the hosts are back ahead after 76 minutes of play. Can Rüsselsheim come back into this game once again?”

“Just about five or six minutes until stoppage time, the Broncos have the ball in the midfield. Sano Bairei has it, has space, not really under attack. Pass to Harris, to Dresdner, who’s playing a great game today. Dresdner still has it, pass to Heath now, back to Bairei, and the Chromatik will just use the space Multi are giving, shoots, scores! Deflected by a defender, no chance for Williamson to prevent the ball from trickling in, and we’re all tied once again, it’s Multi three, Broncos three! Five minutes left, will one of the teams have time for a lucky punch to win it?”

“The final seconds of regular time are ticking away; refs have signalled there will be six minutes of stoppage time” “And if you want more good stuff after the game, you can get the post-game deal at Outbox; one NSDollar off per goal for your local team for every qualifying purchase at select locations” “Angela Heath has possession for the Broncos, the Kytlerian teenager playing the full ninety for the first time today. To Voigt, who gives it to Kamili who’s pushed up. Back to Heath, back to Dresdner, who’s got space, shoots, scores!!! 4-3 Broncos! What a strike, the man from Katzeburg collects a second goal! The Broncos come back from a deficit twice, and now lead with just a few stoppage time minutes left to play here in Columbus. Is this it?”

“We’re at stoppage time minute four, Multi about to take a corner. Everyone’s pushed up, including goalkeeper Williamson; they’re putting everything on the line in search of an equaliser. Cederberg brings it in, to Roku, header, saved, Plouffe – scores! Four to four!! In the last minute, Multi equalises yet again as the ball ends up right on the foot of Chromatik defender Alberte Plouffe, and he hammers the ball in, no chance for the goalie! What a game this has been; eight goals here in Columbus; surely Multi won’t experience a game like that again for a while” “Incredible scenes here in Dhemix Stadium, sponsored by Outbox – get what you crave!”

by **Dhemixia** » Fri Feb 07, 2025 9:31 pm

Putting the "Multi" in Multi Columbus

When you take a look at The Outbox League, you'll notice a pretty clear pattern of teams being named "CITY MASCOT". Be it the Russelsheim Broncos, Sadeg Strikers, Richardson Revolt, or even the Columbus Constrictors, a majority of the league is made up of these types of names.

Looking at the "bad boys" of The Outbox League in terms of naming conventions, it jumps out that 3/4 Dhemixian teams do not conform to this majority, the only teams to do so. With Draegynsreim United, Brigantine Town, and Multi Columbus, it's obvious there's an odd one out here, so why exactly is Multi Columbus called "Multi"?

For context, they're not JUST Multi. Multi is short for Multiverciale, or Multiversal. Because of the club's founding such a long time ago, there are two main stories as to why it's Multiverciale.

The first, the founder was absolutely hammered when officially creating the club, forgetting what language he spoke and using Multiverciale, and the second, he just thought it looked cooler than Multiversal.

You might be asking yourself, why is it Multiversal in the first place if they could just use International in The South Pacific? To be frank, if it was possible to have negative competition, that's what The South Pacific would have.

At that time and even now, everybody in Dhemixia knew that they have to resort to the Multiverse if they want to play quality football. With such a long name, Multiverciale was shortened to Multi for casual usage, and with the advent of other Columbus based teams, fans would drop the "Columbus" and just call them Multi.

With all four football associations of The Outbox League being in different regions, The South Pacific, Sonnel, Esportiva, and Winterfell respectively, they will almost certainly be putting the "Multi" in Multi Columbus this season.

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Draegynsreim?

In another case of "Why are they named that?" from Dhemixia, Draegynsreim United has gained a reputation for being the name that is the hardest to spell, coolest, and overall most random name in The Outbox League.

Given the fact that, unfortunately, dragons do not exist in Dhemixia (if you're sober), and there's no place officially CALLED Draegynsreim in Dhemixia, it would appear as just another Multi Columbus, flairing it up because it looks cool. However, the story is much more interesting.

In the days when what is now Columbus, Dhemixia, was being settled, all directions from the city center had been generally adapted into the city, aside from a hill in the northwest. In a vacuum, there was nothing wrong with that hill apart from the elevation, and yet people refused to settle it. Why?

As the legend goes, one night, the town drunk was (you guessed it) hammered, and started wandering outside the city. Beyond the northwest hill, he came upon a large opening that led to a cave. Being absolutely wasted, you can only imagine he thought "Sure, why not?" as he went in.

Torch in hand, he kept descending into the cave for no apparent reason other than plain intoxication. Coming up to a bend, he supposedly heard a deafening hiss from around the corner, and dropped the torch out of panic. What is believed to be a snake, plentiful in the wilds of Dhemixia, got in front of the abandoned torch, casting it's silhouette on the cave wall to a panicked drunk.

Referring back to "dragons only exist if you're drunk" in the most literal way possible, he thought it was a dragon of all things, and sprinted out of the cave. Presumably because they had nothing better to do, the townspeople of early Columbus actually believed him, leading to nobody settling it and the cave becoming a local legend.

Fast-forward to enterprising families finally getting brave enough to start setting up camp in that direction, some prankster has the idea to make a sign for the cave. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't read, trying his best to sound out "dragon", and misspelling the suffix "-heim", resulting in "Draegynsreim".

When putting the sign up, his friend triple-dog-dared him to go further in the cave, essentially forcing him to do it. Scared the whole way down, he came across the same bend that the frightened hobo made his last stand at, turning the corner to find the remains of a torch and a snake.

Connecting the pieces in his mind, he finally realized, "The drunk was just making it all up? Who could have seen this coming?". The prankster would end up reporting back to the few individuals camped by the hill in the hopes of getting them to settle it, and so it was.

To this day, the neighborhood comprised of and surrounding the hill call themselves "Draegynsreim", and made a museum out of the cave some time ago. Paying homage to the neighborhood rather than having a third Columbus team, the club named themselves Draegynsreim United, creating an important derby with Multi, and haven't looked back since.

To think that such a storied neighborhood and club could be named after the results of 9 pints and a practical joke would be absolutely insane, but here we are, and there's no better place than The Outbox League.

"Come Get What You Crave!"

by **Drawkland** » Fri Feb 07, 2025 10:13 pm

Besides One Blemish, Reds Defense Dominates

The debut of The Outbox League has been less than ideal for the four Drawkian teams competing in the multi-national league. The Sadeg Strikers had a vicious cold streak to start, losing 4 straight games to begin the schedule and not winning a game until matchday seven. Similarly, the Jaffro Storm couldn't manage to string more than one win in a row, and the Drawk Corps went on a nasty 5-game losing streak immediately after winning their first two contests of the season.

In Pittsennat, though, things are looking up. A two-game tour in Columbus to begin the season started well, with a simple 1-0 road win over the Constrictors thanks to a goal off the boot of Praxis Collingwood. The second leg of this road trip was a real downer, however. Brigantine Town absolutely laid the wood on the Reds in their home opener, scoring a trio of goals only matched from a single one from the Reds. After that nightmare, the Reds rebounded quite handily. They won their own home opener at Metal Mills Park by a 2-0 margin, and didn't stop there.

As predicted, the Reds defense was really their strong suit. Brigantine's 3-goal flurry and a late game-tying goal from the Strikers in Matchday 5 were the only scores allowed by Pittsennat in the opening slate of games. The rest were all clean sheets, and all wins. Praxis Collingwood is the star of the show so far, accounting for 4 of the 8 scored by Pittsennat in the early going. It seems she's happy to be back in Drawkland after spending most of her career in Quebec.

If the old moniker of "defense wins championships" rings true, then it seems that Pittsennat will be the most likely among the Drawkian squads to contend for The Outbox League title, at least based on their current form. Will this one belong to the Reds?

Who Seeded This Damn Thing?

We'll tell you one thing that won't belong to the Reds: the Richard Outbox Cup. Named for the supposed pseudonym of the restaurant's founder, this is the knockout cup competition component of The Outbox League season. Featuring a couple teams from Banija to round out the field of 16 (thanks to their ties to the NSCF world, one of the driving factors for this league's formation), it was pretty much murder for the Drawkian squads. The early-season Drawkian woes extended from the regular season ties to the first-round cup matchups, and it didn't help that two of the Drawkian teams had to face each other in the first round. A little peculiar that Drawkland and Ranoria both had to face friendly fire in the first round, but the other 4-team nation of Dhemixia didn't. Do we already have a scandal worth investigating for this farce of a league?

Just kidding, of course. Two games in the first round ended up needing penalty kicks to complete, and both of them featured Drawkian teams. The aforementioned hot streak of the Reds continued, defensively at least, with Pittsennat holding Draegynsreim United to a scoreless draw through 90 minutes. Extra time featured a goal apiece. Rebecca Quigley could've been the hero for the Reds with a goal in the 97th minute, but a late counterattack by Draegynsreim tied the game with just minutes to spare. Unfortunately, inexperienced Addie Royce was completely overmatched in the goal. Draegynsreim had the first try at their kicks, and made every single one of them. With Olive Wilkinson (second in the order) missing her kick, the first kick of the fifth round from Draegynsreim was the final nail in the coffin for Pittsennat. The Reds didn't even get their fifth chance, as the 5-3 penalty scoreline meant they couldn't possibly match the score with one kick left, so the home crowd went home heartbroken.

The clash between the Sadeg Strikers and Jaffro Storm was billed as perhaps the most potentially thrilling matchup of the first round. Two offensive-minded teams with rather crappy defenses? Certified banger incoming! ... until it wasn't. The forecast in Sadeg that day quickly turned to crap, a storm front moving through town and dumping rain before, during, and after the game. Still, a healthy crowd filled up Spartan Veteran Stadium for the matchup. The game seemed to fly by, with lots of miffed passes, slipped footing, and missed opportunities throughout. Cam Cross was unsurprisingly the one to open the scoring, nailing a bending free kick from just outside the box to put her Storm up 1-0 in the storm.

The Strikers weren't going down without a fight, though. In front of their home crowd, they rallied. The other Kick Corps forward on the field, Shelby Rider, still had some tricks up her sleeve. She pulled a devastating spin on Katalina Lee in a 1-on-1 situation, springing her free with just the keeper to beat. Shelby buried the game-tying kick, causing the stadium to erupt in jubilation. There was still about 15 minutes to go in regular time, but the score didn't change. It didn't budge through the entirety of extra time, either. Again, this was not thanks to an elite defensive effort on either side, but a rather pathetic inability to either offense to make shots on target or keep the ball for more than a few minutes at a time before making a mistake.

So it came down to penalty kicks. This finally brought the thrills promised in the billing for this game. The keepers, one young and one mediocre, were simply not on their game. The deluge had lessened at this point, and the kick takers from both squads were simply on their game. Through the first five kicks, each team had only missed one. This brought it to sudden death, and now with the teams forced to resort to their down-roster kick choices, things were going to get dicey quickly.

The sixth round began with Taylor Traverso for the Strikers. The midfielder in her third year at Sadeg did not disappoint, firing a perfectly-aimed ball in the upper left corner, hopelessly out of the reach of Angelique Morse. This put the pressure on the Storm for their next kick. If they missed, it was game over. Second-year Sadeg keeper Blanche Dunbar was extremely nervous for the try, but third-year Jetta Romano wasn't much more confident. Dunbar ended up getting lucky, as Romano skied the ball well over the crossbar for a game-losing miss, much to the delight of the Sadeg crowd.

This leaves the Sadeg Strikers as the sole Drawkian survivors of the first round, alongside a team apiece from South Newlandia, Ranoria, and Banija. Remarkably, not only did all four Dhemixian teams make it through the first round, they also have zero friendly fire matchups in the quarterfinals. What kind of bullshit is that? It would take a miracle for any of these nations to stop the Richard Outbox Cup from landing in Dhemixia at season's end. However, there's an Outbox cup that everyone will be able to enjoy: and that's the classic Extra-Large "QUENCHER" size soft drinks available at every Outbox location. Come Get What You Crave!

by **South Newlandia** » Sat Feb 08, 2025 7:48 am

Scores Post MD8-13

Matchday 8

Brigantine Town (DHE) 1–0 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–0 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–3 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 0–0 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 5–3 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–0 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)

Matchday 9

Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–0 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 1–0 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 0–2 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 0–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 2–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 3–0 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)

Matchday 10

Brigantine Town (DHE) 1–1 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 0–0 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 2–1 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–3 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 0–0 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–0 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)

Matchday 11

Jaffro Storm (DRK) 3–4 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–2 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 0–2 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 0–1 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–1 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)

Matchday 12

Brigantine Town (DHE) 0–2 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 0–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–3 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 2–1 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–0 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–0 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 2–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)

Matchday 13

Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–1 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 2–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 0–3 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 3–0 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–2 Walstreim Lions (SNL)

Richard Outbox Cup Round 2:
Draegynsreim United (DHE)  0–1         Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Multi Columbus (DHE)       2–1     Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)  0–1  Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Brigantine Town (DHE)      0–0         Istria City FC (BNJ) (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)

Round 3 Draw:
Brigantine Town (DHE)       -   Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Multi Columbus (DHE)        -          Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

League Standings

P                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Multi Columbus (DHE)            13    9   1   3    28   16  +12    28
 2 Brigantine Town (DHE)           13    7   4   2    25   15  +10    25
 3 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)           13    6   4   3    10    7   +3    22
 4 Walstreim Lions (SNL)           13    6   3   4    16   14   +2    21
 5 Drawk Corps (DRK)               13    6   2   5    17   22   −5    20
 6 Jaffro Storm (DRK)              13    5   2   6    21   23   −2    17
 7 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)            13    4   4   5    15   14   +1    16
 8 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)     13    4   4   5    12   12    0    16
 9 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)            13    4   4   5     6    7   −1    16
10 Draegynsreim United (DHE)       13    4   3   6    18   19   −1    15
11 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)   13    3   5   5    10    8   +2    14
12 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)       13    4   2   7    12   17   −5    14
13 Richardson Revolt (RAN)         13    4   2   7    11   20   −9    14
14 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)        13    3   4   6    16   23   −7    13

by **South Newlandia** » Sat Feb 08, 2025 7:49 am

Lambros leads Lions
Most neutral observers expected the Broncos to handily outperform the Lions in season one of The Outbox League. The Broncos had the big RTC money, and the big new transfers, but it is Walstreim who have been the better team in the first half, easily. With half the matches in the books, the Lions are in fourth place, having recorded seven more points than the Broncos.
On defense, it’s really been all about Katerina Stylianou. The Vdaran has made a strong case to be the best center-back in the entire league, seemingly capable of being everywhere on the field at once while also being able to lead and direct this very young defense that is otherwise quite mediocre. The Vdaran 27-year-old has benefitted from the trust placed into her by her former teammate, Lambros Tantalopoulos. Somehow, the Lions have one of the better defenses in the league.
Up front, the Lions have been able to do just enough – five of their six wins of the season have come by just one goal. The exception is an early candidate for Game of the Year on MD4, when the Lions somehow beat Multi Columbus five to three. Stuart Hammersley recorded a hat-trick as the Lions came back from a deficit twice. It was easily the worst game of the season for opposing goalie Wesley Williamson, and despite Yashida Roku giving Multi a lead twice, they were defeated by the Lions’ ferocious attack. Since then, Columbus have been dominant, taking over the top spot in the league by winning 8 of their last 9.
The Lions haven’t been quite that consistent, especially on offense. Hammersley leads the team with 8 goals, with the Tikariotian showing off excellent instincts while Olivia Burnes hasn’t quite been able to as much as the Lions had hoped. Niklas Hoffmann has been a revelation for the team on the left wing, having already developed so much in just 14 starts; he’s become a much more measured and effective defender while maintaining his ability to set up chances for himself or his teammates, most often Hammersley. With 6 assists, he has often been the engine to the Lions.
Although the Lions did lose their opening game in the cup, Lambros Tantalopoulos deserves a lot of credit for guiding this team to a very strong first half. With few stars besides Stylianou, the Vdaran in his first coaching gig has looked so much better than his Broncos counterpart. Surely, he will have enjoyed the last game of the first half as much as every Walstreim fan. Playing in Rüsselsheim, the team fell behind early after a mistake by goalkeeper Turner (certainly not his first one of the season), but rallied back, with Niklas Hoffman equalising before half and Hammersley finding a late winner after a nice cross by his teammate from The 14 Stars. The victory over the Broncos is a major point of pride for the fans, and surely the same can be said about the team as well.

Broncos bad
It was a season with massive expectations on the team from Rüsselsheim, with Abel Wesoloski-Okafor and Opio Bikya being brought in for massive sums to hopefully contend. Instead, the team has fallen flat through the first half. With half the games played, the Horsies find themselves in twelfth, just a single point ahead of last place. While relegation is never a threat in this league, it’s still a massively disappointing outcome for a team that entered with so much hope.
Abel Wesoloski-Okafor has been taking a lot of blame, and that’s not unfounded; as a player, the Banijan veteran has only recorded a single goal, slotting in a penalty kick late in a 1-3 home loss against the Ashialand Blizzard. As a manager, he hasn’t been able to make his team look like a coherent unit. That was a difficult task, trying to unite players from six nations that have never played together into a cohesive eleven, but it should not have been this bad. Defensively, Gong Xiaolei has been trying his best, but the team ahead of him has rarely been doing him any favours. Xiaolei actually has the third-best shot saving percentage in the league as it stands, but way too many shots find their way through the back-four. Opio Bikya is looking like Herzegovina City FC made the correct decision to cut him loose; but he’s still easily the best player at the back for Rüsselsheim.
The Broncos still have a bunch of players who look good by themselves, but they haven’t exactly culminated in a good team. Sano Bairei looked solid in the first six games of the season before sustaining a meniscus tear that will keep him out of action for the rest of the season. Napoleon Dresdner has struggled to apply himself, with the other two strikers on the team often absorbing the attention; but he’s actually been quite effective, especially lately. The Katzeburgian has recorded four goals already, including two in the last four games.
Angela Heath also looks promising. The Kytlerian youngster is still definitely on a pitch count, having played the full 90 only twice all season, but she’s been extremely fun to watch when on the pitch. With accurate passes and a knack for creating chances herself, she’s quickly become a fan favourite among the Horsie Faithful, and actually leads the team in assists at this point.
The sole saving grace for the team could have been the Outbox Cup, but after a round one win on the road, the team was knocked out by the Columbus Constrictors. It serves as a typical Gong Xiaolei game; the Yue goalkeeper made four miraculous saves in this game, repeatedly denying Grant Clarke great chances, but Sean Pittman eventually found the net in the 78th after the ball ping-ponged through the box after a corner. On the other side, the Broncos were unable to find a single goal for 90 minutes against the not-especially-dominant Columbus defense.

Is there hope for the second half? Only insofar as the team might develop some of its younger players. Any types of achievement are out of reach, and the team will get to spend its time on the future of Wesoloski-Okafor.

by **Drawkland** » Sat Feb 08, 2025 3:03 pm

Tripping Over Your Own Feet

Remember all that nice stuff we said about the Pittsennat Reds in the last recap? Go ahead and immediately forget all of that nonsense. Thanks to Multi Columbus smashing Brigantine Town on matchday seven, Pittsennat's victory over the reeling Rüsselsheim Broncos placed the Reds in a tie for the league lead with Brigantine. Immediately after this, the Reds went on a horrific skid, going winless over the next five matchdays. By the time they broke out with a 2-0 home win over Jaffro, the damage had been done. Now the Reds sit 3rd in the league, a difficult 6 points behind first. It's not an impossible margin to make up, but the Reds have a lot of issues to address. Sure, Pittsennat managed four clean sheets in this recent stretch, but this was coupled by complete offensive ineptitude. Those two goals scored against Jaffro in the latest match? Those were the first scored by the Reds since our last recap. It turns out the "fuck it, throw Praxis out there and let her cook" strategy simply isn't doing the job. When you only have one halfway-competent scorer on the roster, it tends to make the job a lot easier for the opposing defense. Praxis Collingwood did finally break her cold streak in that Jaffro game with an early goal, as well as a feed to Cass Foster to get that two-goal margin.

Speaking of Jaffro, their struggles to string points together continues. They finally managed to not lose immediately following a win, as their home win against now league-leading Multi Columbus (a great 1-0 win against a tough opponent, to be clear) was followed by a scoreless draw to the Dietrich Dirks on the road in Ranoria. That draw to the Dirks definitely had some mixed feelings towards it. The Dirks are currently tied with the Reds for the best defense in the league thus far, but the Dirks are somehow even more hopeless offensively. Given that the Storm are currently tied for the worst defense, it was just a sigh of relief that the Storm didn't somehow give up any goals and lose. Obviously the Dirks backline was prepared for the challenge of Cam Cross, but at least the Storm finally didn't lose right after a win. They lost 3-4 at home against Brigantine Town the very next game, but at least we have progress!

Speaking of frustrating inconsistency, the Drawk Corps finally their four-game losing streak in a big way. They started their season hot with a draw and two wins, immediately crashed, then got their heads out of their asses and figured things out. After losing five in a row, the Corps went unbeaten for five in a row, featuring 4 wins and an annoying scoreless draw against the hardcore Reds defense. Now they're still sitting 5th in the league, 8 points away from first, and a hilarious leaky defense almost as bad as Jaffro's. The idea of contending for the title seems far-fetched, especially considering how red-hot the top two Dhemixian teams are, but at least there's hope. It's extra frustrating to think about that 5-game losing streak now. Imagine if they'd just squeezed one or two wins from that stretch. Yeah, they were spanked by Multi and Brigantine, but they also to the Revolt and Dirks. It seems that the hope for the Drawk Corps breakout to earn international respect is NOT around the corner. Especially since their unbeaten streak came to a screeching halt with a 3-0 loss to Sadeg.

Speaking of Sadeg, the Strikers have kinda turned around a little bit following their horrendous 4-loss start to the season. Of course, they couldn't manage to beat Brigantine Town in Columbus, but holding that offense averaging nearly 2 goals per game to just 1 is pretty nice. Since that point, the Strikers haven't lost a game. A few scoreless draws were mixed in, but the last two games have been absolute bangers, 3-nil wins on the road and at home. It seems the Strikers offense has finally figured some things out after a pathetic beginning to the year. Shelby Rider, even in her older age, has been a key component, scoring 1 against Richardson and 2 against the Corps. Of course, their chances of contending for the league title are pretty much zero, and like the Corps, one has to wonder what their season would be like had they been less pathetic to open the year.

The Last Bastion for Drawkland

After the slaughter that was the opening round of the Cup for Drawkian teams, only one team from our beautiful nation still remained. The Sadeg Strikers, despite the fact that their regular season has been quite uninspiring, are the last hope for Drawkland to capture the Richard Outbox Cup. The home win ending on penalties against the Jaffro Storm was an instant classic, but now the challenge level truly ramps up. Draegynsreim United stand in their way, one of all four Dhemixian teams still alive in the competition.

Most pundits had written off Sadeg at this point, but they were in for a surprise. Even being one of the most offensive-minded teams in the league, the Strikers defense had ironically been one of the stronger suits for the squad in the first half of the year. The same was true for this cup tilt against Draegynsreim. United were totally unable to get anything going. Amy Kay in particular was all over the place, ruining several promising United pushes with well-timed tackles out of nowhere. Even though Draegynsreim had a couple corner kick opportunities, Blanche Dunbar was marvelous in goal, getting five saves over the course of the match.

It was truly an xG bailout masterclass on the Sadeg side of things. The Strikers did have some pretty good opportunities, but a lot of shots went wide. And really, if everything had fallen in favor of both offenses, the Strikers probably would've lost 5-3. Instead, Rosie Woods got an excellent feed from Shelby Rider, who drew a lot of the defense towards her on a push in the box, allowing Woods to get enough room and misdirection against United keeper Leon Maldonado to score the go-ahead goal in the 62nd minute.

From there, the Strikers midfield did well at controlling possession and keeping Draegynsreim from getting too many more chances. As the game descended into stoppage time, Amy Kay masterfully intercepted a pass and booted it wide, ending the last real United threat to keep the game alive. The three whistles rang out soon afterwards, and Sadeg had somehow made their way to the semifinals. Their company? The other three Dhemixian teams. What the hell?

Once again, many Drawkian fans have been outraged on social media at the state of the cup draw. It does seem a little silly to get mad about something that doesn't matter since 3 of the Drawkian teams lost in the first round anyway, but some have rightfully pointed out that the entire cup draw has massively favored Dhemixian teams. Not only did none of the Dhemixian teams have to face each other in the first round, but none of them had to face in the quarterfinals either! If it weren't for the Strikers, it would've been an all-Dhemix semifinals.

Conceptually there's nothing wrong with that, especially since the teams have won their games and earned the spot to be there, but it's a little irritating that none of the other teams in the league got this advantage. Two Ranorian teams had to face in the first round. Two Drawkian teams had to face in the first round. Plus, Draegynsreim United were the team that beat Pittsennat in the first round. So if Pittsennat had actually won that penalty shootout, it would've been the Reds forced to play the Strikers in the quarterfinals. This means 3 out of the 4 Drawkian teams were stuck in one quarter of the bracket, while each Dhemixian team had a quarter to themselves, devoid of any of their countrymen. The same goes for the Ranorian teams. Ashialand Blizzard had to beat the Dirks to make it to the QFs. Richardson and Ranoria City both lost in the first round, but if they'd won, they would've had to play each other! Just like Drawkland, Ranoria could've only had two teams in the semifinals at the very best. So how come the cup draw allows for the Dhemixian teams to nearly sweep the damn thing?

One thing's for sure, even though whiny fans bitching on the internet doesn't actually cause anything to change, it's certain that the team owners from the Drawkian and perhaps Ranorian teams have similar thoughts. Hopefully these ideas get brought up in the league meetings going into next season. It certainly does limit the potential for fanbases from each nation to remain engaged in the cup tournament. After all, besides Sadeg fans, who outside Dhemixia is going to be tuning in to the semifinals? That's tons of lost revenue. Just imagine if the advertisers and sponsors notice! The league may be cooked.

In all seriousness, the Strikers may objectively be the least likely team to take home the Richard Outbox Cup. The three remaining teams include the top two teams in the league at the moment, both in incredible form, plus the Columbus Constrictors who've had a remarkably similar production to the Strikers. With both the lower-quality teams having to play away, at least the Constrictors fanbase only has to travel across town to support their squad. The likelihood of a large number of Strikers fans traveling to Dhemixia for this semifinal tie are slim, so the squad will be most on their own. Could they possibly take down Multi in Columbus? And if they manage that, could they repeat the feat against Brigantine? Signs are pointing to no, but at least they're still alive. And the closer they get to the final, the more they're craving that title. Fortunately for you, if you're craving Outbox, the nearest location isn't that far away! Come Get What You Crave!

by **South Newlandia** » Sun Feb 09, 2025 7:49 am

Scores Post MD14-19

Matchday 14

Brigantine Town (DHE) 0–0 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 2–0 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–10 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–5 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 0–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 0–0 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)

Matchday 15

Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–2 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–2 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 2–2 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 2–3 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–1 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 2–0 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 1–0 Walstreim Lions (SNL)

Matchday 16

Brigantine Town (DHE) 0–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 3–0 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 0–2 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 1–1 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 0–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 0–2 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)

Matchday 17

Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–1 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–0 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 0–2 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 1–2 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 0–1 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 0–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 1–2 Richardson Revolt (RAN)[/b]

Matchday 18

Brigantine Town (DHE) 4–3 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–1 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–0 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–2 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 3–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–0 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)

Matchday 19

Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–2 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–1 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 0–1 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 0–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 1–0 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–2 Drawk Corps (DRK)

Richard Outbox Cup Round 3:
Brigantine Town (DHE)  3–0  Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Multi Columbus (DHE)   0–2         Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

Final:
Brigantine Town (DHE)   -          Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

League Standings

P                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Multi Columbus (DHE)            19   12   2   5    38   21  +17    38
 2 Brigantine Town (DHE)           19   10   6   3    34   22  +12    36
 3 Walstreim Lions (SNL)           19   10   4   5    22   15   +7    34
 4 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)           19    9   5   5    16   12   +4    32
 5 Drawk Corps (DRK)               19    9   2   8    35   32   +3    29
 6 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)            19    7   6   6    26   24   +2    27
 7 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)            19    7   4   8    11   12   −1    25
 8 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)     19    6   5   8    15   17   −2    23
 9 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)       19    7   2  10    17   23   −6    23
10 Richardson Revolt (RAN)         19    7   2  10    15   25  −10    23
11 Jaffro Storm (DRK)              19    6   4   9    27   31   −4    22
12 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)        19    5   6   8    21   29   −8    21
13 Draegynsreim United (DHE)       19    5   4  10    22   26   −4    19
14 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)   19    4   6   9    13   23  −10    18

by **South Newlandia** » Sun Feb 09, 2025 7:50 am

MD18

“Hey, coach?”, asks Opio Bikya. We’re in Rüsselsheim, and the Broncos are currently trailing 0-2 to the Storm, and the players are waiting for the action to continue during the scheduled Outbox Commercial Break. ‘Come get what you crave’ blares through the speakers, which is especially silly because Outbox is yet to open a franchise in South Newlandia. Also, I wouldn’t have chosen a slogan that rhymes with ‘grave’, but that’s their prerogative. “Opio, we talked about this”, Wesoloski-Okafor replies. “I was Abel when we were teammates, and nothing’s changed about that”. Opio Bikya didn’t need to be an empath to sense the frustration in the voice of his former teammate and current player-manager.

Nothing had really gone right for Abel Wesoloski-Okafor. The team, which had entered the season with championship hopes, was stuck all the way down in tenth, 15 points from the top with just nine games to play. Season’s cooked. Wesoloski-Okafor, the 39-year-old Banijan superstar, had struggled immensely himself, too, standing out as one of the least efficient players in the Outbox league, converting way too few of his opportunities. He simply couldn’t get the goals he craved.

“Yeah, about that”, replies Opio. “Are you sure you want to continue wearing both hats for the long-run here?” Abel frowns. “I can see how hard you work”, Opio continues, “but maybe you have to stop rowing against the current at some point. You’re almost 40, madala, and I think your double-duty is hurting you in both phases. Maybe its time to focus on coaching, and hang the boots up again?”
Abel thinks about it for a moment, as the Outbox slogans continue to be pumped into the arena. “Well – I appreciate that you’ve felt confident to tell me this, my friend”, he replies. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe this is just where it should end”, he says. “Douglas! Warm up!”, he shouts to the backup striker on the bench. “This is going to be my last start as a professional football player. This is how it ends”.

by **South Newlandia** » Mon Feb 10, 2025 7:16 am

Scores Post MD20-25

Matchday 20

Brigantine Town (DHE) 1–1 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 1–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–0 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 2–1 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 3–2 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 2–2 Draegynsreim United (DHE)

Matchday 21

Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 5–1 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 0–2 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–2 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 3–3 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 2–0 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 2–0 Multi Columbus (DHE)

Matchday 22

Brigantine Town (DHE) 1–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 1–4 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 0–1 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 1–4 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 2–3 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–0 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 2–2 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

Matchday 23

Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 1–2 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 0–1 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 0–1 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 1–2 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–3 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 4–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)

Matchday 24

Brigantine Town (DHE) 0–1 Jaffro Storm (DRK)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 1–0 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 0–2 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 3–0 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 0–0 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–1 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 1–0 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)

Matchday 25

Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL) 3–4 Brigantine Town (DHE)
Ranoria City Privateers (RAN) 0–0 Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Sadeg Strikers (DRK) 2–1 Richardson Revolt (RAN)
Draegynsreim United (DHE) 1–0 Drawk Corps (DRK)
Ashialand Blizzard (RAN) 1–1 Multi Columbus (DHE)
Pittsennat Reds (DRK) 0–1 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)
Columbus Constrictors (DHE) 1–4 Jaffro Storm (DRK)

League Standings

P                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brigantine Town (DHE)           25   12   8   5    43   34   +9    44
 2 Multi Columbus (DHE)            25   13   4   8    44   32  +12    43
 3 Walstreim Lions (SNL)           25   12   7   6    29   21   +8    43
 4 Jaffro Storm (DRK)              25   11   5   9    42   34   +8    38
 5 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)           25   11   5   9    25   20   +5    38
 6 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)       25   12   2  11    27   28   −1    38
 7 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)            25    9   9   7    38   32   +6    36
 8 Drawk Corps (DRK)               25   11   3  11    41   38   +3    36
 9 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)            25   10   6   9    18   18    0    36
10 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)     25    7   7  11    22   29   −7    28
11 Draegynsreim United (DHE)       25    7   6  12    26   30   −4    27
12 Richardson Revolt (RAN)         25    7   6  12    21   35  −14    27
13 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)        25    6   8  11    28   41  −13    26
14 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)   25    5   8  12    19   31  −12    23

by **South Newlandia** » Mon Feb 10, 2025 7:17 am

Here’s how the Lions can still win

After two consecutive draws and generally underwhelming play, the Walstreim Lions find themselves on the outside looking in for the first ever Outbox League Title. They’re trailing two different Dhemixian teams they’ll need to jump, but it’s not over until it’s over.
The Walstreim Lions will take on the Rüsselsheim Broncos at home on the final matchday. Ever since the Lions won the reverse fixture at the Broncos, the Horsies have been one of the hottest teams in the League, having rallied all the way to the top half of the league.
However, the Broncos just lost their most recent game – against Brigantine Town, who used the points to jump into first in the table. They will host the Columbus Constrictors, giving them by far the most probable path to the Championship. The Constrictors are 10th in the table, but when they first met Brigantine earlier in the season, came away with a hard-fought 1-1 draw.
The last team in the Dhemix are Multi Columbus. Multiverciale had led the league for a long stretch, but had recently found themselves in a rough patch. Like the other two teams in the running, they’ll have a home game, taking on Draegynsreim United, who they had fairly easily dispatched in their first meeting, 3-0. With Draegynsreim all the way down in 11th, they also don’t present a massive threat for an upset right now.

With Brigantine on 44 points and Walstreim and Multi on 43 each, the task for the Lions is simple: They need to somehow outperform both Dhemixian squads. Because Multi has a sizable lead when it comes to goal differential, if either team matches the Lions, the first Outbox League Championship will not be heading to a Sporting Region.
In other words, even a Lions win against their rivals needs to be coupled with both Brigantine and Multi dropping points; and a draw has them in even rougher shape, requiring Multi to lose and Brigantine to lose by at least two goals.
It’s a tough spot, but the Lions will be fighting their hardest in the only part they can control – beating the Broncos on the final day, and thereby sweeping their rivals on the season.

Here’s how the Lions can still make the IFCF

Unfortunately, at this time, this seems impossible to be impossible. The IFCF regulations only permit leagues, regardless of how many credible nations they consist of, to have two of them submit teams to their international play. Many fans have struggled to understand quite why that is, as it seems to be quite stifling to creativity on the international stage.
With only two associations allowed to submit, the superior footballing clout of Drawkland and Dhemixia, some of whom have made World Cups in the past, has pushed the South Newlandian teams out. Unless something very surprising happens on the IFCF level, the South Newlandian teams will be limited to the CEdC; which team officials have signalled they will sign up for; marking a return for the Lions in particular, who have won the competition once in their early days. Fans craving a South Newlandian return to the IFCF will have to continue waiting – fortunately, in the meantime, they can satisfy a different craving with the Outbox Menu Double – come get what you crave!

Note to IFCF Committee: Thank you for everything you do, and I don’t want to tell you guys how to run your competition <3

by **Drawkland** » Mon Feb 10, 2025 7:26 pm

The Last Bastion for everyone else at this point

The first and second rounds of the Richard Outbox Cup were essentially slaughter for everybody who didn't live in Columbus. All but one Drawkian team lost in the first round, and that was mostly because it was an all-Drawkian matchup, so one of them had to advance. Going into the quarterfinals, the Sadeg Strikers were Drawkland's last hope at capturing the cup title. As they managed a beautiful road win over the slowly imploding Draegynsreim United, they became the last hope of literally anybody outside of Dhemixia.

With the way Multi and Brigantine have been consistently maintaining their lead over the rest of the field, it seems that the Strikers might've been the last chance to avoid a total Dhemixian sweep of The Outbox League's inaugural season. And unfortunately for Sadeg, they'd have to go through one if not both of those budding juggernauts to make it happen.

This semifinal of the Richard Outbox Cup put the Sadeg Strikers on the road once again, this time against Multi Columbus, who were leading the league at the time. It was going to be difficult, no doubt. Despite the highly offensive-minded tactics of Strikers manager Emilia de la Fontaine, Sadeg had only shown a middle-of-the-pack goal output compared to the rest of the league. It was going to be a challenge to go against Multi's defense. Oh, and did we mention the Strikers lost to Multi 1-5 at home just a couple weeks before this game? Yeah, most people had written off this game before the Strikers even flew into Columbus.

Technically Multi's defense was only 5th best in the league at that point in the season by goals allowed, but that's coupled with by far the best goal production. The 4-goal margin that Sadeg suffered a few matchdays earlier was a perfect example of that. The Strikers weren't expected to do much of anything against that incredible defensive back line and phenom keeper Wesley Williamson. Games aren't played on paper, however.

Obviously Dhemix Stadium was rocking for this one. Multi was one win away from playing in the Richard Outbox Cup final. At the time, they were also atop the league table. Their chances of a two-title sweep were nearly coming to fruition, and now they just had to take care of business against this upstart Drawkian squad. A couple goals would be all they needed, and the defense would take care of business.

But the goals didn't come. Sadeg's back line, spearheaded by Amy Kay, was as tight as a brick wall. In the first half, Multi only had one shot on goal, a tight shot from Yashida Roku that went right into the chest of Blanche Dunbar for the save. To be fair, Sadeg was also shut out in the first half, leaving the score level at 0-0 after 45 minutes. Instead of a resounding domination in the second half, Multi found themselves clamped down upon harder than before. It seems that the 5-goal embarrassment fresh on their minds just lit a fire under Sadeg's defense. They were so much more prepared for Multi's movement up front, and simply did not give them any second chances.

"Second chances" turned out to be haunting words for Multi's fans after the game. In the 57th minute, Nella Allegri found herself with the ball and a 1-on-1 in the box. She shook her defender and took a shot, but Williamson was perfectly prepared to block the shot. Instead of staying in his grasp, though, the ball bounced back into the box. Rosie Woods of the Strikers had rushed towards the goal when Allegri took the shot, and the ball bounced back perfectly to her feet. Woods made a quick stab at the ball, sending it tumbling past Williamson's second effort and into the goal. Against all odds, the Strikers had taken the lead.

Despite a few solid chances at the Sadeg goal, Multi simply couldn't convert anything to tie the game. As the time waned, the idea of tying the game and sending it to extra time seemed more and more distant. Then came the backbreaking blow. In the 78th minute, Shelby Rider found a little room and was worming her way through the box, trying to get another goal on the board. She attempted a slick shot in the middle of a shortened stride, hoping to catch Williamson off guard. Instead, the ball was skied way over the goal. Unfortunately for Multi, the young defender James Campbell was coming in hot with a slide tackle, which he'd already started before Rider took her shot. Because of the change in her stride and the kick, the ball and Rider's leg were nowhere near where Campbell expected, and he plowed into her ankle at full speed instead. Campbell was carded, and Rider was given a penalty kick since it happened in the box.

Shelby Rider nailed the penalty kick, firing it straight up the gut of the goal while Williamson dove way off to the right. The air was sucked right out of the building as the ball buried itself in the back of the net. Sadeg had the 2-0 lead, and Multi had a little over 10 minutes to respond. They simply couldn't. The Sadeg defense remained strong, and after a couple neat turnovers and clearances, the whistles rang out. Sadeg was going to the Richard Outbox Cup final.

Meanwhile, Drawkland is Done

A few weeks after Sadeg's triumph to take them to the final, the rest of the Drawkian slate was officially eliminated from the league championship. With one matchday to play, two Drawkian teams are six points out of first place, and the other two a couple points behind that. All the Drawkian teams ended up clumped together, and collectively out of contention. This is how it was for most of the season: each team showed flashes of great play, interspersed with vicious cold streaks, all adding up to never truly be in the running for the title.

The Pittsennat Reds were the closest to contending for the championship, but they never put things together. Every time they came within a couple points of first, they'd hit a couple snags while the Dhemixian squad would win a few games in a row to increase the gap. This rollercoaster effect was maddening for Reds fans. Even with their second-best defense in the league (only the Dirks, with their terribly boring playstyle, allowed fewer goals), the Reds could never put up numbers when it mattered. They never won more than two games in a row, and they only had back-to-back wins three times. You can't expect to win a league without rattling off a few nice win streaks.

Similarly, Drawk Corps never had any long win streaks either. Thanks to their awful 4-game losing streak in the early going, they were never really talked about as one of the better teams in the league despite their top three scoring offense. Another stretch in the second half where the Corps lost 5 of 7 resigned them to the fate of mediocrity. Now they'll need a win on the final matchday just to stay out of finishing in the bottom half of the league table. The hilarious part is that this is probably a better finish than any other international excursion by a Drawk Corps affiliated program. Baby steps, Corpsheads!

Sadeg's four-game losing streak to start the season truly is what did them in. The inability to finish games also played a factor. With a game to play, the Strikers sit at a 9-9-7, yet sitting with a +6 goal differential and a top 5 scoring offense. There was real potential with this team, hell, you can see how they've done in the Richard Outbox Cup so far. Nine draws, though, is the most in the league. The only other teams close all have 8. One of them is Brigantine, who drew plenty of games because they refuse to lose. Ashialand and Ranoria City, meanwhile, drew a lot because they refuse to win. In the middle you have mid-ass Sadeg, who simply couldn't get things synced at the right time unless there were cup implications. Even if they avoided that terrible cold streak early, they would've needed to convert a couple more draws into wins if they were gonna make a run.

Finally there's the Jaffro Storm. Remember earlier in the season where they were winning a good amount of games, but kept losing immediately afterwards? Well, the Storm managed to fix that problem. Cam Cross lit on fire, leading the Storm to 15 goals over the last 5 games, all of them wins. The turn of form has been insane, keeping Jaffro from a potential bottom-third finish to a chance at landing in the top four. Not like that means anything, but it may clinch them a CL appearance from the Drawkian ticket. The real issue is that Jaffro, like every other Drawkian team, suffered a nasty cold snap which derailed any chance of contending. A couple weeks before this 5-win heater began, the Storm suffered a 5-game stretch with no wins and only 2 points. Right when they were on the edge of relevance, the Storm fell back into the doldrums. Now this 5 and maybe 6 consecutive win streak at the end of the season is nearly meaningless. Like all four Drawkian teams, it's a damn shame they couldn't look this good earlier in the season.

Even though there's still a game left to play, the faults and shortcomings of each Drawkian squad are plain to see. Even if they all won on the final matchday (they can't, since it features two Drawkian vs Drawkian matchups), it wouldn't change the season each team has had. It's hard to tell whether they'd prefer to hope The Outbox League survives to see another season so they can chase redemption, or pray that it folds so they can quickly forget this one-season chapter of disappointment. While these teams ponder whether they crave redemption or retreat from this league, we know you're craving a delicious combo box meal from Outbox. Find your nearest location and Come Get What You Crave!

by **Dhemixia** » Mon Feb 10, 2025 9:46 pm

DHEMIXIAN TEAMS IN THE OUTBOX LEAGUE: A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

Brigantine Town

For Brigantine, things are going about as well as they could possibly be going heading into the last MD. Sitting at 12-8-5 with 44 points atop the table and comfortably in the Richard Outbox Cup final following a 3-0 beating of the Constrictors, it seems like nothing could go wrong to entirely derail this situation. Obviously, having said such an extreme thing, you're probably expecting the twist, but it really can't go all that wrong without entering the realm of "cursed by a higher power". Having to face a very streaky but very hot Sadeg in the cup final isn't exactly the end of the world, all it takes is one bad game by the Strikers to emerge victorious, not impossible by any stretch of the imagination. Even if they lose that game, Brigantine is still looking good heading into the last league MD. Playing the down-bad Columbus Constrictors to close the season, an easily attainable win would automatically push them to the top, but it's not like they're relying on that either. Barring a Multi win against Draegynsreim, Walstreim find themselves against a very hot Russelsheim side, opening the door for a Brigantine win even on a draw or loss. It would certainly take a lot to lose these last two results, but even then, there's not really a means of souring the whole season, Brigantine and their fans would be plenty happy with how it is currently, making it a close final MD and getting to the cup final through tough Banijan sides (even by means of sketchy bracket seeding).

Multi Columbus

For Multi, a little more is at stake entering the final MD. Being one of the final three teams that can win the league, they find themselves in an okay situation in the event of a Brigantine loss to the Constrictors, but it's still not exactly the best. Sitting in second to cross-town rivals Brigantine with a ludicrous +12 GD alongside 43 points, losing out on the league via a Brigantine win would only salt Multi's wound from the cup semifinals. Speaking of the Richard Outbox Cup final, it's really a no-win scenario for Multi. On one side, you've got the team that eliminated you in cold blood 2-0, the Sadeg Strikers, and on the other, it's your archnemesis Brigantine Town. Really all Multi can do here is beat Draegynsreim by as many goals as possible. Since Multi has a four goal advantage over Walstreim, in practice they should be covered if they end up with the same result, but in The Outbox League, nothing is guaranteed.

Columbus Constrictors

For the Constrictors, this provides an interesting opportunity for growth. Obviously nobody expected them to be world-beaters in year 1, but finishing above a fellow Dhemixian team would be a pleasant surprise for a lineup crafted out of popsicle sticks and a dream. Currently sitting in tenth, one point above Draegynsreim, the Constrictors are all but guaranteed to finish ahead of United, being guaranteed if they have the same result. Where things get sticky is when you start looking into the doomsday scenario of a Multi loss to Draegynsreim, in which the Constrictors would need to somehow match Draegynsreim's result against an equal strength opponent. Granted, these positional races don't mean a lot because of the franchise system that The Outbox League has in place, but they are closure for a team like the Constrictors, just happy to be there and get to the seminfinals of the Richard Outbox Cup, on a bad inaugural season.

Draegynsreim United

For Draegynsreim, the end can't come soon enough. Ever since around MD7, they've been the laughingstock of the league, and for good reason. Put yourself in the shoes of a United fan for a second here. You're pretty happy, and your team is on the top of the table early in the season. Unfortunately for you and many other poor Draegynsreim faithful, they would then do their best thermonuclear bomb impression and drop all the way to last. From there, it hasn't gotten much better for Draegynsreim, as they find themselves in 11th and were the only Dhemixian team to not get to the final four, falling victim to the finalist Sadeg Strikers in the QFs. Draegynsreim fans are truly fighting the hardest battles, being the toughest soldiers, and the offseason will give them the necessary escape from football they've so desperately needed.

by **South Newlandia** » Tue Feb 11, 2025 7:00 am

Scores Post MD26

Matchday 26

Brigantine Town (DHE) 3–0 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)
Jaffro Storm (DRK) 3–2 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)
Dietrich Dirks (RAN) 1–1 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)
Multi Columbus (DHE) 0–1 Draegynsreim United (DHE)
Drawk Corps (DRK) 5–1 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)
Richardson Revolt (RAN) 2–1 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)
Walstreim Lions (SNL) 1–2 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)

Richard Outbox Cup Final:
Brigantine Town (DHE)  1-3  Sadeg Strikers (DRK)

Final League Standings

P                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brigantine Town (DHE)           26   13   8   5    46   34  +12    47
 2 Multi Columbus (DHE)            26   13   4   9    44   33  +11    43
 3 Walstreim Lions (SNL)           26   12   7   7    30   23   +7    43
 4 Jaffro Storm (DRK)              26   12   5   9    45   36   +9    41
 5 Rüsselsheim Broncos (SNL)       26   13   2  11    29   29    0    41
 6 Drawk Corps (DRK)               26   12   3  11    46   39   +7    39
 7 Pittsennat Reds (DRK)           26   11   5  10    27   23   +4    38
 8 Dietrich Dirks (RAN)            26   10   7   9    19   19    0    37
 9 Sadeg Strikers (DRK)            26    9   9   8    39   37   +2    36
10 Draegynsreim United (DHE)       26    8   6  12    27   30   −3    30
11 Richardson Revolt (RAN)         26    8   6  12    23   36  −13    30
12 Columbus Constrictors (DHE)     26    7   7  12    22   32  −10    28
13 Ashialand Blizzard (RAN)        26    6   9  11    29   42  −13    27
14 Ranoria City Privateers (RAN)   26    5   8  13    20   33  −13    23

by **South Newlandia** » Tue Feb 11, 2025 7:01 am

The Outbox League – South Newlandian Teams Debrief

Walstreim Lions
Final record: 12W, 7D, 7L -> 3rd place // Richard Outbox Cup First Round Exit
Goals Leader: Stuart Hammersley (13)
Star player: Katerina Stylianou
The Lions continued ticking nicely after a strong first half, and actually made a push towards the top of the league as the Dhemixian teams struggled late. They even had a distant shot at winning the League on the final day, but ultimately fell short, finishing a strong third place instead – undone by failing to win any of the final three games. Before that, they were one of the most consistent teams in the league, being one of just two teams that recorded 20+ points in the first and second half of the season.
Defensively, 23 goals allowed stand as the second-best mark in the Outbox League. That’s especially impressive by the defense because Nicholas Turner has not looked like the long-term answer in goal; but Katerina Stylianou made sure that there weren’t too many good shot opportunities coming to him. The Vdaran defender has established herself as one of the very best in the league; the offseason will likely involve getting her some help.
The midfield has been quite strong for the Lions, with the players, who are all barely 20 if that, showing maturity and skills beyond their years. Hoffmann on the left side has continued to grow remarkably fast, with the winger from The 14 Stars easily being the most underrated addition the Lions had made. Hoffmann recorded five goals and six assists on the season, and has gone from a cheap pickup to a franchise cornerstone.
Opposite him, Mukutan Linder has been the most impressive South Newlandian youngster, repeatedly impressing with his speed on the wing, and repeatedly feeding Hammersley up front. The Tikariotian, incidentally, led all South Newlandian-team players with 11 goals, immensely profiting from two wingers finding him in the box repeatedly. Olivia Burnes did struggle to find her role on the team for some time; she ended up missing the final five games injured. That revealed that she was still quietly important for this team; required as a secondary striker to keep some attention away from Hammersley.

Rüsselsheim Broncos
Final record: 13W, 2D, 11L -> 5th place // Richard Outbox Cup Second Round Exit
Goals Leader: Napoleon Dresdner (7)
Star player: Opio Bikya
The season looked utterly shot for the Broncos after the first half, but after a disastrous start, coach Abel Wesoloski-Okafor did a remarkable job turning this team around. The Brocos topped the second-half-table with 27 points (9-0-4), including six wins in the final seven games after Wesoloski-Okafor made the decision to stop starting himself. With him focusing exclusively on coaching, the team reached new heights; Gong Xiolei may have been the best goalkeeper in the league in particular. With spectacular save after spectacular save, he was key to leading the Broncos all the way into fifth, just two points behind the Lions, who looked miles ahead at points. Of course, Opio Bikya helped a lot, with the veteran Banijan still at the top of his game, and surely making Herzegovina City regret jettisoning him; he likely still has a few good years left in him.
The midfield was missing Sano Bairei dearly; the injured Chromatik midfielder proved irreplaceable. Still, Angela Heath was among the players stepping up in her absence. The Kytlerian teenager easily was the Bronco that grew the most throughout the season; from a young, mistake-prone central midfielder to a legit star playing with confidence on the wing, showing her enormous potential, while already leading the team in assists.
Napoleon Dresdner, who the Broncos grabbed on the cheap from Katzeburg, led the team with seven goals; but the Bronco attack was remarkably well-balanced, with the three main strikers all contributing at least five goals. Dresdner in particular has also shown a knack from scoring on free kicks; doing so three times. That includes a goal to set the 2-1 final score in a win in Walstreim; allowing the Broncos to keep even on the season head-to-head against the Lions.
Wesoloski-Okafor also didn’t end his career in the loss against Jaffro, when he made his final start. In the remaining seven games, he came on late from the bench four times, recording two vital goals. He has announced that the final game of his career (this time) will have been the 2-1 win in Walstreim, in which he played the final eight minutes; a foul committed on him by Walstreim defender Marc Westond led to the free kick Dresdner would convert into the winning goal.

South Newlandian Squads All-Star team:
Gong Xiaolei (YZH) // Talek Kamili (SNL), Opio Bikya (BNJ), Katerina Stylianou (VDR) // Niklas Hoffmann (TFS), Sano Bairei (CMT), Angela Heath (KYP), Mukutan Linder (SNL) // Stuart Hammersley (TKT), Napoleon Dresdner (KAT), Abel Wesoloski-Okafor (BNJ)

by **Ranoria** » Tue Feb 11, 2025 7:28 am

Ranorian Soccer Does What Ranorian Soccer Does:
Just One Team With A Winning Record To No One's Surprise

The Dietrich Dirks are by far and away the best team in the history of the National Alliance of Association Football. But Ranorian soccer is generally considered sub par if you're putting it nicely. The adorably named Snow Bears came close to getting a playoff nod a couple times in their World Cup stints - but they never actually did get that nod. And if the Snow Bears have the best the entire NAAF had to offer, then the Dirks alone weren't going to be able to do much.

But they were better than the rest! Ashialand and Ranoria City went 6-9-11 and 5-8-13 to collectively form the Outbox League's doormat in it's inaugural season, and the Richardson Revolt weren't much better at 8-6-12...but they're ahead of Columbus, what a tragic mark for that city.

So it was left to the greatest team in the history of the NAAF managed to rattle off ten wins. With seven draws and nine losses, they had as narrow a winning record as one can achieve. Björn Rottmann, young gun star striker who led the Dirks' league-worst scoring unit, was pumped about the achievement. "Double digit wins in something historic like this is a true honor. I'm glad to be bringing honor to my country, and showing that we can truly compete on the world stage, whether or not we have the funding - or lack of corporate greed - to make a run at the World Cup. This is a great day for our country."

Even with RSNN - Ranoria's premier sporting network - posting about his quote, it only got about 12 likes. But it did earn a community note! "No one cares about soccer dude, you are bad." And a couple comments referencing how golf was more interesting...and those guys are absolutely abused in Ranoria.

But anyway! The Dirks weren't awful, and that's about all that can be asked of them. They did manage to have an upper-half defense in this league, allowing just nineteen goals...which makes it shocking that they lost so many games! How does that even work?

Can this - minor, to put it kindly - success pave the way to Ranoria's return to the World Cup? Probably not, but soccer fans around the country are probably happy just to be participating in a league with some actual implications, especially with our Elefriends, fellow sports fanatics in Dhemexia and Banija...and Lane Proudfoot's countrymen.

by **Drawkland** » Wed Feb 12, 2025 3:39 pm

The Richard Outbox Cup Final

The final weekend of The Outbox League's season concluded with the championship game of the Richard Outbox Cup (named for the alleged legal name of Outbox's original founder). With their resounding home win, 3-0 over the crosstown Columbus Constrictors, Brigantine Town had topped the league table and clinched the inaugural Outbox League title. Brigantine had been nothing short of a juggernaut since day one of the season. Though Multi Columbus had an incredible midseason stretch, holding first place for 13 consecutive matchdays, Brigantine was solely in second place until the couple weeks (thanks to the Walstreim Lions storming back into the mix). When Multi and the Lions only came away with a single point in the final two matchdays, Brigantine finished strong with two resounding high-scoring performances to steal the title back at the very end. Now, days later, they had the chance to capture the first-ever double crown in league history.

Standing in their way is quite the unassuming opponent. The Sadeg Strikers had just completed their season which was as close to mediocre as you could possibly get: 9 wins, 9 draws, 8 losses, with a mere +2 goal differential. To be fair, this doesn't account for their unlikely form in the Richard Outbox Cup. After a tight home affair against Jaffro Storm that went to penalties in the first round, the Strikers played two straight matches in Columbus against Draegynsreim United and Multi Columbus, winning both. Surprisingly, the semifinal against Multi was their toughest game to date, yet the Strikers came away with their most convincing win of all, a 2-0 road shutout.

It's an absolute classic matchup. The league champion buzzsaw against the scrappy mid team with some upside. Even worse for the Strikers, they had to travel to Columbus for the third straight round. In the belly of the Brig, the Strikers were the last chance to prevent Dhemixian dominance in the first season of Outbox action. Clearly both teams craved victory that night, but who would come away with the sweet and savory flavors of Outbox glory?

Brigantine Town's gameplan was simple. With the huge home advantage in Brigantine Park, and a superior squad, Brigantine were simply content to play their game, dominate possession, and simply minimize mistakes. It had worked all season, so surely it would work here. There was just one problem: Brigantine only won by a 1-0 margin in the regular season home matchup against the Strikers, and actually lost 5-1 in the Sadeg leg. That was actually the worst loss of the season for Brigantine, right ahead of their 4-1 away loss against Multi. That blowout was mostly thanks to card trouble early in the game and a nasty home advantage in Spartan Veteran Stadium. Ideally neither things would be a factor this time.

Sadeg's gameplan, on the other hand, was ambush. It worked. The high-powered aggression of the Strikers offense had been held in check for most of the season, mostly thanks to the team's tendency to start games tentatively. Even with their forward-facing tactics, the Strikers didn't really get going until most of the team was comfortable, which didn't happen until later in games. This time though, with the whole season behind them and nothing left, they went balls-out.

Some of the passes right out of the gate seemed insane. The Strikers formation surged forward, compressing the field and sending the Brigantine back line scrambling. There was pressure unbelievably quickly after the kickoff. Thanks to confidence and raw luck, Sadeg's opening play worked to perfection. Maria Franco found an opening and speared it right into the goal, over the arms of a diving Colin Atkins. In the 2nd minute, Sadeg already had a 1-0 lead.

At this point, the rowdy crowd in the Brig had already lost a lot of their steam. This wasn't the first time Brigantine had been down, though, and they'd survived plenty of high-scoring thrillers this season. They just needed a response to get back into it, but it wasn't coming. It didn't help that Sadeg was still extremely aggressive on defense, and their go-for-broke moves were somehow paying off time and time again. Disaster struck again when Amy Kay slide intercepted a pass in the box, deflecting the ball right to Taylor Traverso, who booted it and started a sudden counterattack. Brigantine were caught on their heels, and the Strikers surged forward. Shelby Rider ended up with the ball, and she beat Noah Holland in the footrace across the pitch. With a 1-on-1 opportunity, Rider poked the ball past Atkins into the goal to put Sadeg up 2-0.

Brigantine still couldn't score, and eventually time ticked through to the second half. The confidence felt by the fans in the Brig was slowly waning. Brigantine had been nearly inevitable for the entire cycle. Surely they'd put up something! They did, finally, in the 66th minute. After a frustrating sequence, one of Sadeg's aggressive slides finally backfired. Terry Ingram got carded for too much contact on a tackle, and Brigantine got a free kick in a pretty good position. Jonathan Obisana got the chance and converted it, finally putting Brigantine on the board and breathing life into the crowd. It was comeback time!

Sadeg decided against that. Just four minutes later, Sadeg had pressed deep against Brigantine and had a shot deflected by Atkins off the back line for a corner. Rosie Woods took the kick from the left corner, nailing an arcing shot that perfectly found the crown of Shelby Rider in the throng of players in the box. The ball shot off Rider's head and into the net for a crucial insurance goal. Just as soon as Brigantine had gotten some momentum, Sadeg stole it right back to the tune of a 3-1 lead in the 69th minute.

From there, Emilia de la Fontaine felt confident in bringing her squad into a more conservative arrangement. A two goal lead with twenty minutes isn't infallible, but it would be smart to limit the aggressive play and avoid giving away free chances for Brigantine. The shift in attitude presented an additional difficulty for Brigantine, one that they simply couldn't overcome. Despite a few chances deep in Sadeg territory, Blanche Dunbar impressed greatly in goal and kept the score right where it was.

A few minutes after 90, the final whistles rang out. Some of the crowd in the Brig had already begun filing out. They may be able to hang their head on the first Outbox League championship trophy (shaped like an Outbox to-go box, of course), but it was Sadeg celebrating on their pitch with the Richard Outbox Cup (shaped like an oversized soda cup, naturally). This season may have been an overall disappointment for every Drawkian squad, but the Sadeg Strikers at least got something craveable on the way out. Will they back? Come on, it's Outbox. You'll always come back, because you need to come get what you crave!

by **Dhemixia** » Sat Feb 15, 2025 7:56 pm

Dhemixian Teams in The Outbox League: A Debrief

Brigantine Town

Points: 47
Finish: 1st
Peak: 1st
Biggest Win: 4-0 vs. Draegynsreim United (MD6)
Biggest Loss: 1-5 vs. Sadeg Strikers (MD21)
Top Goalscorer: ST Jonathan Obisana (15)

What a season it's been for Brigantine Town. Even before the season, Brigantine were thought of as playing second fiddle to Multi, projected somewhere around 5th-3rd in the league, miles ahead of Draegynsreim and the Constrictors, but still moderately below Multi. Entering the halfway point, it definitely appeared that way, as even though they were leading the league for a good chunk, Multi ripped off 4 consecutive wins to overtake and widen the gap with the rest of the league. Captain and main striker Jonathan Obisana led the charge in the cup and final few MDs, scoring the winning penalty against Istria City in the Richard Outbox Cup and bagging the winner against Draegynsreim to close the gap with Multi down to just 2 points. Sure, Brigantine may have lost the cup final, but coming away with the league was solace enough for them and their supporters.

Multi Columbus

Points: 43
Finish: 2nd
Peak: 1st
Biggest Win: 5-1 vs. Drawk Corps (MD6)
Biggest Loss: 0-3 vs. Ranoria City Privateers (MD2)
Top Goalscorer: CM Ludvig Cederberg (12)

Multi and their supporters are not as lucky. Despite frontrunning for the back half of the season and consistently sitting in the top 5, Multi somehow managed to fumble a semifinal berth in the Richard Outbox Cup and a 6-point lead over second place Brigantine midway through. Multi fans might be the only people who can relate to Draegynsreim at a certain level, as their fans also went through a first place peak only to lose steam and crash to end the season. The talent is almost certainly there for Multi, having the only three international players in Dhemixia, playing directly into their midfield scheme with Ludvig Cederberg, but they just don't have the consistency and confidence to close it out. You'd still probably imagine that a team of this caliber would be happy with their situation, but losing out on both the league and the cup to their bitter rivals isn't good enough. Leaving fans and the team licking their wounds, Multi has the motivation to come back and take it from Brigantine if they can stay locked in.

Draegynsreim United

Points: 30
Finish: 10th
Peak: T-1st
Biggest Win: 6-1 vs. Ashialand Blizzard (MD5)
Biggest Loss: 0-4 vs. Brigantine Town (MD6)
Top Goalscorer: ST Marvin Bolton (14)

Draegynsreim fans have to be Dhemixia's strongest soldiers after what they've endured this season. Being the only team from Dhemixia to not make it to the semifinals of the Richard Outbox Cup and being the only non-Constrictors team to have a negative goal differential, beating Multi on the last MD and eliminating them almost salted the wound in a way. In a story that's been repeated endless times, Draegynsreim somehow navigated their way from 1st in the table to a measly 10th at season's end, their chances disappearing even before the halfway mark of the season. Regardless of United having one of the two strikers on the Dhemixian National Team, Marvin Bolton and his pile of 14 goals just couldn't make a meaningful impact on this team. Right now, the best thing for Draegynsreim and any remaining followers is their season being over, also ending the suffering.

Columbus Constrictors

Points: 28
Finish: 12th
Peak: 4th
Biggest Win: 4-1 vs. Sadeg Strikers (MD4)
Biggest Loss: 1-4 vs. Jaffro Storm (MD25)
Top Goalscorer: CM Grant Clarke (10)

Surprisingly, we end on a lighter note for a bottom-dweller like the Constrictors. Entering the season, nobody believed that Columbus was going to do anything, and well, they didn't, but what they failed to do, they got surprisingly close to doing. For instance, let's take the Richard Outbox Cup. Taking out Ranoria City in the first round, everyone just thought, "Oh well, we had our fun, let's pack it up", and had absolutely no expectations for the following rounds. Then they beat Russelsheim and went to the SFs. Then, take the league table. Everyone expected them to be last or near-last and just lay down to take a beating. Surprisingly, they actually hung with some of the powerhouses, be it at Draegynsreim's expense, and took United to the last MD to separate the two. While it wasn't exactly the best results-wise, having a piece like Grant Clarke in the midfield as a playmaker can change a team, and there certainly is a bright future in the cards for the Constrictors.

by **Drawkland** » Mon Feb 17, 2025 8:18 pm

Welcome to the inaugural edition of The Outbox League Awards Show!

In an effort to squeeze every single penny of ad revenue from this venture, league officials decided to hand out awards in a live televised extravaganza a few weeks after the final matchday. With the high improbability that many people outside the four TOL member nations were paying close attention to the league, most of the teams were also excited to have an additional opportunity to publicize their best players. Merchandise and potential future transfer money is a big deal!

The first part of the award show presented the first and second All-Outbox Teams. You can consider this a full 26-player roster of "all-stars" for the league, with the reserves named second-team and the starters named first-team. With only one roster's worth of players, no all-star game was held. First, we present the All-Outbox second team! Each team in the league was guaranteed at least one player on the roster.

SECOND TEAM ALL-OUTBOX

pos name                nat  team                   
GK  Wesley Williamson   DHE  Multi Columbus
GK  Gong Xiolei         YZH  Rüsselsheim Broncos
DF  Dominic Sanford     DHE  Multi Columbus
DF  Lara Mitchell       DRK  Pittsennat Reds
DF  Amy Kay             DRK  Sadeg Strikers
DF  Drew McMahon        DHE  Brigantine Town
MD  Niklas Hoffmann     TFS  Walstreim Lions
MD  Adrian Denker       RAN  Richardson Revolt
MD  Grant Clarke        DHE  Columbus Constrictors
MD  Kuno Hinrichs       RAN  Ranoria City Privateers
FW  Marvin Bolton       DHE  Draegynsreim United
FW  Lisa Baylor         DRK  Jaffro Storm
FW  Björn Rottmann      RAN  Dietrich Dirks
FW  Addyson Santana     DRK  Drawk Corps
FW  Rick Bennewitz      RAN  Ashialand Blizzard

And now we present the true all-stars of this first season, the First Team All-Outbox squad! These players were truly the cream of the milkshake (mmm, Outbox milkshake), which almost certainly means none of these players will still be playing in this league three seasons from now. Each of these players were big contributors on the better teams in the league. If you went to an Outbox League match in person this season, you definitely saw a bunch of fans wearing jerseys bearing their names.

FIRST TEAM ALL-OUTBOX

pos name                nat  team                
GK  Linus Weidemann     RAN  Dietrich Dirks
DF  Katerina Stylianou  VDR  Walstreim Lions
DF  Rachael Bright      DRK  Pittsennat Reds
DF  Opio Bikya          BNJ  Rüsselsheim Broncos
MD  Gregory Baker       DHE  Draegynsreim United
MD  Ludvig Cederberg    TKT  Multi Columbus
MD  Kaylynn Whitney     DRK  Drawk Corps
MD  Adrian Bush         DHE  Brigantine Town
FW  Cam Cross           DRK  Jaffro Storm
FW  Jonathan Obisana    DHE  Brigantine Town
FW  Shelby Rider        DRK  Sadeg Strikers

Now on to the individual awards! Three hefty trophies shaped like Outbox restaurant items were given to the three best players in the league. The best goalie received the Golden Gloves, the highest scorer won the Golden Boot, and the best overall player in the league took home the Most Valuable Player award. Each one was also coerced into doing a PR stunt where they had to work a drive thru shift at the closest Outbox location to their home stadium. What fun!

GOLDEN GLOVES

Linus Weidemann, Ranoria
Goalkeeper for the Dietrich Dirks
15 goals allowed in 25 games started
Led the league-best defensive unit

Receiving a beautiful trophy of two golden goalkeeper's gloves (holding up a golden platter of Outbox chicken fingers), Linus Weidemann defied the odds. The 23-year-old Ranorian was the crown jewel of a Dietrich defense that was really the only bright spot on the squad. Though he definitely had help on the back line, Weidemann was far and away the best keeper in the league via the eye test. His team also allowed a mere 19 goals all year, and 4 of those weren't even his! Weidemann was nearly an ironman this season, starting 25/26 games for the Dirks. The one game he missed? The Dirks allowed a season-high 4 goals to the Storm in Jaffro. His worst game was a 3-goal clunker against the Sadeg Strikers, but you can let that slide when he also authored 12 clean sheets on the season. Now if only Dietrich had literally anybody other than Björn Rottmann who could reliably score, they might've actually finished in the top half of the league!

GOLDEN BOOT

Cam Cross, Drawkland
Striker for the Jaffro Storm
20 goals scored in 26 games started
Led the third-best scoring offense

Cam Cross may have landed on a Galacticos longlist before, but we know she's never won a trophy shaped like two different golden shoes (one a legally distinct cleat model with an Outbox logo on it, the other a generic non-slip restaurant staff shoe also with an Outbox logo). Perhaps a little predictably, Cam Cross led The Outbox League in scoring for their first edition. Originally a wunderkind for the Storm coming out of high school, Cross is now their longest-tenured player thanks to her immortality. That experience came in handy as she tried her best to lead a rather middling offensive unit to success. The Storm may not have hit their stride until too late in the season, but Cam was the eye of the Storm for the whole lot of it. Jaffro finished third in the league in scoring with 45 goals, just behind Brigantine Town and Drawk Corps tied for first with 46. Unlike those other squads with stacked forward lines and scoring midfielders, Cross had to do a lot of the work herself in Jaffro. She did that work admirably, however, putting together 7 multi-goal games over the course of the season and leading her team to the best record among the Drawkian squads.

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER

Jonathan Obisana, Dhemixia
Striker for Brigantine Town
15 goals scored in 26 games started
Leading scorer in league-best offense
Captain of the league-winning squad

The utter dominance of the Dhemixian squads, including Brigantine Town, may not have been expected going into this year. For Brigantine fans, though, the dominance of Jonathan Obisana was far from a surprise. The 21-year-old stud isn't just the captain for Brigantine Town, he's also one of the featured strikers on Dhemixia's national team. If Brigantine were going to succeed, it was going to mostly be thanks to Obisana balling out. That was exactly what happened, as Obisana landed third on the league goalscoring leaderboard and led the league-best offense in goals with fifteen. More than just a scoring threat, Obisana was also an incredible source of leadership on the pitch despite his young age. He also had a knack for performing in the clutch, scoring the winning penalty kick in the quarterfinal shootout against Istria City FC, and netting the winner against Draegynsreim United that put Brigantine in position to steal the league title back late in the season. Simply put, Obisana was easily the best player on the best team. The choice was a no brainer to award him the Most Valuable Player trophy, which happens to look like a classic Outbox combo in a to-go container, all plated in gold of course.

We hope you enjoyed the first season of The Outbox League! You may find yourself stuffed with Outbox action now, but we know you'll be back. You'll be back to Come Get What You Crave!

by **Drawkland** » Sun Jun 01, 2025 8:52 am

The Outbox League (Closed)

The Outbox League (Closed)

Background

Drawkian Team Previews

Dhemixian Team Previews

7 regular matchdays and 17 penalty shootout goals

4 unconvincing squads and 1 last hope in the bracket

2 unbelievable goals, 4 unbelievable shortcomings

1 title for the taking

Season 1 Awards

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