World Cup 98 | RP thread

by **Aphrilia** » Sat Jan 11, 2025 8:16 pm

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING THE APHRILIAN NATIONAL TEAM

After the team's 0-0 draw against Al-Tamazgha, the National Aphrilian Football Association hereby declares manager Christopher Vermont to be sacked.

Whilst coming into this qualifying cycle with good hopes and the expectations that Aphrilia would be at least contending for another World Cup berth, the team has had a much worse performance than what NAFA anticipated, and the board deem that the manager has been unable to resolve these issues regarding the team and their capability during games.

Whilst issues such as the Di Bradini Cup running alongside the World Cup Qualifying is an issue out of control (And thus was not considered), manager Christopher Vermont's actions were. From the undiscussed promotion of several players from the Under 21 team without manager Anthony Christwell's knowledge to the lack of proper action taken regarding the team's tactics and strategies when they were losing. Especially when he said, and hereby quoted, "I'll do what I can do".

This is specifically important as a few players have reported that Christopher Vermont chose not to take any action.

Thus is the reasoning for his firing. Considering that World Cup Qualification is still underway, NAFA has decided to promote assistant manager Joseph Alan to the position of interim manager for the remainder of the qualifiers in order to have the time needed to find a proper replacement for the next Independents Association Championships and here on out.

Signed, Clark Thompson.

OFFICIAL NAFA VOTES

by **Zenic** » Sat Jan 11, 2025 10:27 pm

"So, how do you feel?"

"I feel......conflicted," Zys replied. He was speaking to media at a press conference between the HUElavia / Equestrian States and the upcoming Polar Islandstates / Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison international qualifying period. "It would have been nicer to be on a 5 game winning streak thanks to these last two game we just played. But recovering to win this game against the Equestrian States has put us in a very favorable position in the qualifiers so it's definitely a 50 / 50 scenario."

The reporter who had asked Zys how he felt at the moment asked for further clarification. "With the five game win streak, we would be three points behind HUElavia and firmly in the race to win Group 8. With these 4 wins out of 5, we're barely above Polar Islandstates and the 14 Stars. We're still watching our backs all the time instead of just focusing on the game in front of us. Clearly, we're talented enough to not let that distract us but it's still an uncomfortable feeling. Alas, the best we can do is look forward and play the hands we're dealt." The first reporter thanked Zys and sat down to continue jotting notes.

Zys called on another reporter farther back in the room. "You referenced being in a 'favorable position' after this win. How does this impact the last four games of the World Cup Qualifiers?" Zys nodded as he formulated his response. "We have two talented teams in the Polar Islandstates and Cheetahs and reptiles Coalison. Both nations are in actual positions to contend for qualification via finishing second in the group or make the Qualifier Playoffs as one of the better third place teams. Winning against either gets us closer to making our third straight World Cup. Winning against both guarantees our spot."

The crowd noise rose a bit as reporters began to converse amongst each other and coworkers on their phones to confirm the math. "If we can manage that, the staff and I have conversed making changes to the lineup. Maybe starting the bench and reserves with the starters coming in late to maintain game readiness. We've floated out mixed formations: half starters, half-bench that we would rotate between the last two games. Obviously, we need to focus on these next two games first before we can even implement these ideas. But smart teams are prepared for any scenario, good or bad." The second reporter thanked Zys and took her seat.

Zys looked to his right as the FZF media representative announced that those were all the questions Zys had time for. The manager waved goodbye and left the room as the representative directed the crowd of reporters to send in any further questions they had. He needed to join back up with the rest of the national team to head over to the airport.

There were many adjustments to be made to insure victory in their next two games and sooner rather than later was always better.

by **Panay Islands and Guimaras** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 1:17 am

WIN AT HOME, DRAW AT AWAY
Iloilo City, Federal Canton and Belle Haven, Baker Park

The Carabaos came back to the main stadium, the Paulino Alcántara Stafium where the blue and white boys are up against 64-ranked Hapilopper again in the capital city. The Hapilopperian boys were met with the vocal Panayense fans chanting alot of song with the typical drums and trumpets. "I can't hear any one of our teammates", says a player. "The atmosphere is crazy out there!" The atmosphere is always wild, meaning there's a whole lot of Panayenses uniting their passion to see the team qualify for the first time in their lives. The first half marked a great start for the Hapilopperians as they take out the walls of Heo and Chiang, scoring 2 goals. But the Carabaos didn't give up yet as Tiu, Ricalde, and Martinelli scored their own respective goals to make the fans go crazy as hard as they can. The Carabaos have finally beat a team ranked higher than them. Next is in Belle Haven, where the travelling Panayenses have shown more support than the Bakerian side. In the first half, Ricalde scored a goal for the team but in the dying minutes, a Bakerian scored one, and he tries to score another one but the newbie goalie stopped that. "It was a great game after all.", says Avila. "But I hope that we should try miraculously win our last 4 games." The Panayenses will face Aphrilia at Darlingtown, then 8th ranked Yuezhou at the Paulino Alcántara Stadium. Will they have a miraculous run to go for a qualifier?

by **Gnejs** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 2:34 am

Enda Clentin’s last dance

Chapter two: Enda & Brenda

Part two: If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life, Never Make A Pretty Woman Your Wife

Again, let’s not get into the finer details, but certain things have been brewing in the valley of late, and this would turn out to be a crucial part of the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team.

They’re called the Rake Teinton Women’s Institute, or WI for short, and these geriatric damsels are quite likely the most unlikely bunch of usurpers you could imagine. Maybe it didn't actually start with the chaotic election of the Old Wives Gala Queen, when Betty Ormray - who received zero votes in the election - found herself crowned queen due to lack of competition and began a reign characterized by turmoil, and maybe it wasn't pivotal that Isla Orrothought departed to participate in a reality TV show in Taxhavn and left the WI in a precarious financial situation. Perhaps the surfacing of controversial opinions on local produce and lack of empathy for the less fortunate (due to social media dyslexia) wasn't crucial background context, and it’s not at all certain that the WI’s International Charabang in Rushmore severely radicalized the old ladies and had a significant impact on how they came to view World and Valley. Who’s to say if it was ingrained old fogy racism or genuine concern for road safety that made Spinster Lunt bring forth the suggestion and plan to thoroughly dismantle Deltic democracy? Whatever you single out, or wherever you feel like placing the blame, the fact was that over time the WI had been plotting to oust the Delte River Trust, take over governance and finally «Make The Valley Green Again». It started with a plot to take over the Deltic FA, but it would soon be apparent that the WI’s tentacles reached further than anyone could imagine, and they were not beyond using murder as a means to further their ever expanding agenda.

And it’s right around there that we’ll pause and rewind. Because sometime during the qualifications to the 96th World Cup, the tragic news of the death of well-known (albeit perhaps not well-renowned) Deltic journalist Polka Lunn hit the papers. To the casual observer, this was nothing more than a sad motorcycling accident; a product of poor judgment more than anything. For those more well-informed, it was a cold blooded hit job courtesy of the WI, with their Agent-2B doing the deed. This 2B character was a foxy minx, a master of disguises and a ruthless terminator, just as like to pop up and do the WI’s dirty work in a BnB in Deltemouth as on a train just leaving Marshlock. A shadow of death for sure, and a harbinger of the troubled times to come. And, as it would turn out, a crucial part of the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team.

As the covert manipulations of the WI unfolded, Enda and Brenda continued on living their lives. Of course they weren’t oblivious to the signs of the times. The exacerbated racist shift in public discourse, fueled by podcasts like Tyrona Arrinburton Experience, was one thing. The unprecedented election of a 90+ old lady to coach the national team, and the implementation of highly bigoted criteria for who was eligible for that team, was another. Just in general, little old ladies popping up in places of importance and ushering in isolationist and prejudiced policy was all of a sudden the name of the game in the valley. But even though Enda looked on the developments with the suitably tasteful disgust of someone never in any real danger of tasting the short end of the bigot stick, all in all it didn’t affect his daily life to any great degree. This was mostly Brenda’s doing, for she had a tendency to downplay events and make everything seem harmless. Whenever something outrageous occurred, or some heinous WI machination surfaced, and Enda got that deep furrow in his brow, she would always stroke his back, kiss him on the nose and say something like «Oh, those batty old birds wouldn't hurt a fly, you know; best not to think too much about it». And then Enda didn't think too much about it and all would be well.

However, as the qualifications for the 98th World Cup was about to commence, the Strange New Valley was edging ever closer and it became increasingly harder for Enda to ignore what was happening around him. By now, the WI agenda was utterly overt and several of their exorbitant initiatives had people fuming, culminating in open hostilities between those loyal to the Delte River Trust (the de jure government) and those loyal to the WI (now more less the de facto government), with moles and spies rampant on all sides (this was later to be known as «The Second Uncivil War»). Something that shook Enda Clentin to his core, was the WI-run FA’s complete ban on participation in international sports, resulting in Delte not taking part in the 98th World Cup qualifications and the entire Representatives squad emigrating to Taxhavn (they’re set to compete in the upcoming SteuerLig season as «Deltic FC»). The Uncivil War took its toll on every valley man, woman and child, pitting neighbors against each other and tearing families apart. It took its toll on Enda Clentin as well, but as the good stoic man that he was he reminded himself that we don’t control external events, only our thoughts, decisions and duties. So he pressed on with coaching The Dandelions through the 98th World Cup qualifications from the spare room on 33 Mange Street, as the unholy fracas commenced outside his window.

It was hard. Trying to keep focused in the midst of uncivil uproar was one thing, but the increasingly substandard line of communication with his assistant coach and players was equally draining. The Rock Men at PUFF were often completely unreachable and could not be trusted to maintain and sustain the crucial pieces of his ever more convoluted and complex remote-coaching puzzle. He needed Emlyn, but the boy had recently traveled to Taxhavn to take up a position as «IT-guy» for Banque Sept-Nat in St. Bernadine. He had promised to aid Enda remotely, but his workload at the bank had been more than he had expected (the sheer amount of transactions demanded constant upgrades to the servers and systems), and as the end of the qualifications were nearing it was becoming evident that Emlyn’s remote-support for Enda’s remote-coaching setup was at a tipping point.

To add insult to injury, he was also missing having Brenda by his side to comfort him. In recent weeks and months she had regularly announced she was «popping out for a bit» only to be absent for long stretches of time. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for Brenda to go off on her own every now and then, because even though they had often traveled The River Delte and its tributaries together, just as often Brenda had done so on by herself (there was a limit to how many BnB’s Enda Clentin had the stamina and patience to visit on a given week). In her new, more prolonged, absences, Enda had taken to wander the house to feel closer to his love. In the hours before the game against Zwangzug, he ventured into a part of the house he had not seen much of earlier and while looking through cupboards and wardrobes he stumbled upon an impressive array of wigs and uniforms from every imaginable occupation, with name tags spelling out almost every other name than Brenda (although «Mandy» was a recurring one). All the way back in a drawer, next to crochet needles, Cracquet scorecards and stray maltesers, he found a wooden chest containing a medal with the inscription «To 2B, for zeal and integrity in service of The Institute.» This meant nothing to Enda Clentin, for he was blissfully unaware of the ruthless WI-operative known as Agent-2B, and the fact that her secret identity was actually that of his love, Brenda Blymmins.

Later that evening, when Enda Clentin subsequently climbed the stairs - getting ready to once again sit in his favorite chair, log onto his remote-coaching system and lead his Dandelions for the penultimate group stage qualification game - his entire world was turned upside down. The spare room next to Emlyn’s bedroom, and every single last piece of remote-coaching technology, was completely demolished. That night, the voice in the ear who had guided The Dandelions for so long went silent for good, and we don't need to dwell on the finer details to ascertain that this was a pivotal moment in the story of how the 98th World Cup cycle became Enda Clentin’s last as the head coach of the Prosaic Union National Football Team.

by **Kanzlia** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 3:38 am

[1][2][3]
[4][5][6]

◄ AG - 06:55
"Sorry, dude, Kenisova is an untouchable."
► JM - 06:58
"What the hell do you mean untouchable? Is 12K not enough for you?"  ✓✓
◄ AG - 07:01
"It's not about the money man."
◄ AG - 07:02
"I went digging into her and she's best friends with the daughter in law of the f***ing Ibsian Undertaker."
◄ AG - 07:12
"Do you seriously not know the Ibsian Undertaker??!?!"
► JM - 07:14
"Look just do it alright? I'll pay more."  ✓✓
◄ AG - 07:14
"You actually don't know who he is don't you?"
◄ AG - 07:15
"Bottom-line is I'm not messing with Kenisova"
► JM - 13:20
"100,000 Gelders" ✓
► JM - 21:00
"200k?" ✓

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Great run so far

To: Karl Schmidt

Dear Karl,

I'm very impressed with how you've handled the matches. You clearly are the better fit in this situation. Though, I'd like to ask whether Dr. Mes is still unavailable for away games?

Regards,

Vassilis van Coevorden

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Great run so far

To: Vassilis van Coevorden

Dear Vassilis,

I'm very happy to hear from you again, and of course thank you for the compliments. I've learned from the best.

As for Dr. Mes yeah she's still unavailable for away matches. Why? Do you think it's weird?

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Karl Schmidt

Dear Karl,

Entertain me once more by answering this; Has her absence on the away roster always mentioned during the meetings or video conferences? Because it wasn't when I was in charge.

I do think it's weird. I trust you won't tell Melis that I contacted you with this ok?

Regards,

Vassilis van Coevorden

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Vassilis van Coevorden

Dear Vassilis,

Oh yeah, she wasn't mentioned ever. It's always the president informing me by himself. Weird!

And of course you're a brother man! Of course I won't tell anyone!

Also, have you heard of the druggie that got caught?

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Karl Schmidt

Dear Karl,

Druggie? Do tell.

Regards,

Vassilis van Coevorden

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Vassilis van Coevorden

Man it was wild - it was Maria Kovacova of all people! Who would've thought such a sweet lady would've done MDMA! She had her contract terminated before the Flavovespia match and was like escorted out of the office with a police escort. I've had a pretty wild tenure eh?

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Karl Schmidt

Dear Karl,

I don't believe it.

Regards,

Vassilis van Coevorden

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Great run so far

To: Vassilis van Coevorden

I'm being for real brother! You know I can't make things up like this!
Here's proof dude,

File attached: [FOR: MARIA KOVACOVA] [INTERNAL DOCUMENTS] CONTRACT TERMINATION - IMMEDIATE EFFECT.zip

Regards,

Karl Schmidt
Head Coach - Kanzlian National Team

12 Armadastraat, Kotr, KNZ

_ | ⮌ | ☒

Possible drug test tampering within VVK

To: anonymoushotline@SZ89

To Whom It May Concern,

Please find attached internal documents regarding the termination of Dr. Maria Kovacova's contract from the VVK.

As someone who've worked in the VVK, I can assure you Maria Kovacova consuming MDMA or any other illegal substances for that matter is entirely out of character for the doctor. Dr. Kovacova has a stable household, I've met her extended family and it's clear she is beloved by everyone in her kin, financially she is very well off, and she never once in her lifetime fallen under any hardship befitting for a substance abuser.

So imagine my surprise that she had her contract terminated for failing a random drug test. Drug tests she has not failed since she was employed 4 years ago. Prior to her drug test there was no signs that she has gone under hard times. Another thing to note, her termination was done very very secretly. Compared with Vassilis's termination nor other terminations, there was no press conference and public statements. The termination was also signed by Jan Melis, the president. This means it was him who initiated her termination, not the Medical Chief.

You can find the evidence on the zip file attached. Including her drug test results and her termination letter.

Source must remain anonymous.

File attached: [FOR: MARIA KOVACOVA] [INTERNAL DOCUMENTS] CONTRACT TERMINATION - IMMEDIATE EFFECT.zip

Anonymous

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 6:24 am

Carrying the One

Parts [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8]
[9][10][11]
[12][13][14][15][16][17]

A few thousand years ago, Audioslavia had a disastrous fourteen minute experiment with a monarchy. Regardless of how meaningless those fourteen minutes were, the very fact that there was a monarchy at all means two things are true forever. First, there will forever be a lineage of descendants of the usurped monarch. Secondly, it will always occur to at least one person in the world that, hey, maybe there should be a king after all, and while there is a person with a claim to said kinghood, there will always be a Restoration movement, no matter how small or disorganised.

In Audioslavia’s case, there’s also a counter-restoration movement, which aims to brutally murder anyone in Audioslavia should they hold the title of first in line to the throne

Fraser stood in the front yard of his new home. It was supposed to be simple. A private house, tucked away from inquisitors, somewhere to lie low for a while and process the events of the last year or so. That had lasted a day. The locale was on the grounds of a decommissioned barracks that the Bostopian government had sharply recommissioned, opening up the neighbouring houses to a guard detail. It turned out they'd decided, for whatever reason, that Fraser Farrington, heir to the throne of Audioslavia, would make a much better ambassador to Bostopia than the incumbent, a chap in a centuries old building in the town centre, with all the other embassies. As such, Bostopia were apparently planning to build a new embassy around Fraser’s new house.

Fraser resolved that he needed a holiday, despite having been in his new house less than a week. He packed a set of bags, and got about a quarter of the way through before he heard a knock on his door. Outside, a Bostopian ‘guard’ (though still very much in an army corporal’s unfirom) was eyeing him through the window. Fraser opened the door and greeted the guard on his doorstep. He didn't want the guy in his house.
“Anything we can do for you, Your Grace?” came the question. The Bostopian sounding out the ‘Your Grace’ like a dog trying to speak Cat. “It looks like you’re packing. If you need a lift or… a reason to stay… one could be arranged” he said. “Arranged” sounded vaguely like a threat, especially with the seven vowel sounds his Newfordian accent gave it.

But Fraser had stopped listening. After a brief pause, the only words out of Fraser's mouth were 'oh' and 'no'. The solder turned to see what Fraser was looking at. Fraser almost barged past him, leaving his front door wide open, and stood in his front garden, barefoot. He watched, hands on hips, as a man in an expensive suit walked back into his life for the fourth time this week. The man approached with a beaming smile, arms outstretched like a mafia grandfather expecting a hug. In the adjacent gardens of numbers 15 and 19, a total of six guards stood at ease, rifles slung behind their backs, and watched. They all knew who the man was. They’d all enjoyed watching Fraser have to go through the process of dealing with him.

Bostopian diplomat Montague Winstanley wasn’t your average Bostopian diplomat. Your average Bostopian diplomat was a frown, a shake of the head and a “no” encased in a grey suit and a combover. Montague Winstanley looked like he’d walked off the set of a mid-afternoon television game-show. The suit was grey, sure, but shiny, and the tie was pink, the shirt silken and egg-shell white. The combover was instead an expensive chocolate-brown hair transplant and he’d visited so many sun-beds he could trip a Geiger counter by scratching his elbow. Whatever his job in the Bostopian government was before, it was now to keep Fraser Farrington in both high spirits and Newfort.

Wait, was it Newfort or Newford? The soldiers that had moved into the houses around him, apparently tasked with his protection, had all given him conflicting accounts of what the actual name of the city was. To one, it was Newfort, with Newford the name of the region. As such, “Newfort, Newford, so good the named it twice” was *technically* more accurate than any similar rhyme about New York. Only another serviceman had claimed the opposite, that Newford was in Newfort, and a third claimed it was both, or either, or whatever you like as long as you never called it Rosseford. This had drawn a laugh from another soldier, although Fraser’s request to be told what was so funny was met with just an ‘oh you know’ and a grin and a shake of the head. “So.. it’s *not* Rosseford”, Fraser had said, finally, which drew a ‘wahey’ and a ‘good lad’ from the two soldiers at the time. At another time, a similar quip to another guard had been met with a stony face and an ‘it’s always been Rosseford, mate”, at which point Fraser had given up.

“How’s Newfort treating you, Ambassador?” asked Montague, flashing a set of teeth so straight and so white they could run for office in Newfort.
“I’m still… I don’t get why I’m ambassador” started Fraser, but he was cut off by Montague expertly side-stepping that question before it could land.
“I should say, Your Grace, of course, it’s such an honour to be addressing a King, Your Grace! The King, such a wonderful coup for our country! That you’ve agreed to take on such a humble position as Ambassador to Bostopia”
Fraser desperately wanted to correct Montague again, but was interrupted by one of the soldiers, waggling his rifle at Montague.
“Don’t use the word ‘coup’ round here, Monty!” One said, to a round of guffaws.
“Quite so, old chap” said Montague, turning to the soldier who’d said it, winking and giving him a set of finger guns. Montague’s click-click with the side of his cheek, sounding out the cocking of his finger-guns, was so crisp it sounded like two branches being broken over a giant’s knee.
“Nah really” said Fraser, flatly, and pointing to a box on the wall, just outside his garage. “When I moved in, they told me these things still work. Voice recognition technology. Apparently if we say… ‘The C word’… tthree times in a minute, three Air Force helicopters show up. Haven’t tested it out yet”
“Coo…l contraption!” Said Montague. “Best get shooting all these pigeons, eh, just to be safe!” Again, a wink. Again, ‘the gun’. Jesus it was like a team of scientists had frankensteined the kind of person they figured non-Bostopians liked - which just so happened to be everything Bostopians hated - and tasked it with sweet-talking foreigners.
“Anyway, Your Grace, excellent news! The staff at the old embassy will be arriving today. Thing like passports, visa applications, nonsense like that, you won’t have to deal with it, they’ll all be done on Latter Street, the houses behind yours.”
Fraser had seen the moving trucks earlier that morning. He’s figured more soldiers, but apparently not. Having requisitioned two of the three houses next to his own and stationed guards there, they’d apparently earmarked the third for the guys who had previously been working at the old embassy. Fraser imagined how annoyed they’d all be. He despaired. He almost missed the piece of paper being shoved into his hand by Montague.
“Plans for the new perimeter” said Montague. “Your house, the two next door, and the three behind, they’ll all be contained within the Embassy Zone. Your own security detail, you’ve met them already, they’ll cater to your every whim, perhaps short of an invasion of Cathair, aha, ahahaha, uh huh, ahahmm. Everything should be up and running within the next few days. And the old ambassador, he’ll be your assistant, he’ll fill in for you if you need to pop out, maybe go father some more son-nephews, hmm?” Said Montague. Another wink. By this point, the fact that Tania Farrington was pregnant again had become News, as had a photo of the two looking very cosy together outside an Osarian cafe. She wasn’t a blood relative, of course, it wasn’t weird weird. It was just… he was now romantically involved with his deceased brother’s wife, that’s all. That’s all. Yes okay, there wasn’t really any kind of shine you could put on it, it was what it was.
“Right” said Fraser. “And… what do I do exactly”
“Same thing as all ambassadors do” said Montague, winking. Fraser got the impression that Montague didn’t know what ambassadors did, and didn’t care. For all either of them knew, all they did was eat over-priced confectionary in large halls. “But for now, relax, get comfortable in your new home.”
“Send him to the football” said one of the guards.
“I’ve never been much into football” said Fraser
“See!” Said Montague. “Your an ambassador already! And I do say, Your Grace, your presence in the Royal Box at the National Stadium… why… that would be most welcome.”
Fraser got the impression that the reason for Montague's visit hadn't just been to distract him, and dissuade him, from packing. Had this been the idea all along?
“Grand Ducal Box” said one of the guards. “We don’t have a Royal Box do we?”
Montague turned. Wink. Finger. Click.
“We do now”

—

Crown Glory
”King” of Audioslavia Watches Bulls beat Bostopia

If there was any sign that the Matchday Nine encounter between Bostopia and Audioslavia in Newfort was going to be a little spicy, it was in a subtle addition to the pre-match ritual. After lining up and singing the anthems, the Bostopia national team, almost as one, turned to the Royal Box and gave the slightest of bows to a visiting dignitary. That dignitary being none other than Fraser Farrington, guest of honour of The Duke of Bostopia. It's believed that none of the various people to have been 'First in Line' over the centuries has ever been to an Audioslavia national team game. Had the match been played on Audioslavian soil he would most assuredly be dead right now. As it happens, The Union's rules dictate that they may only shed a king's blood if they are on Audioslavian soil. As such, his life was not in danger. The only thing in danger was, perhaps, his dignity.

The Grand Ducal Box in the national stadium had been altered, slightly. In addition to its usual powder blue decor, a royal blue section had been added, complete with red carpet, with ‘Royal Box’ engraved on a piece of marble that looked to have been stuck on the front. There sat a slightly awkward looking Fraser Farrington. Or, to give him the title that the Bostopian media had used, perhaps at the suggestion of the Duke himself, His Grace King Fraser I of Audioslavia. Resplendent not in a robe and crown, thank god, but instead a very expensive looking suit, Fraser seemed to nod towards the Bostopian players as they bowed. Again, the ‘suggestion’ to bow is rumoured to have come from The Duke himself, who was sat a respectable distance away from Fraser, who himself was accompanied by the former ambassador to Bostopia, Cleft Staples.

Cleft Staples, former MP for Ceilerden South, is said to be ‘accepting’ of his relegation from Ambassador to Assistant Ambassador under Fraser Farrington, who himself is rumoured to be ‘completely aghast’ at the decision, apparently made for him, to step into the role. At this early stage, little is known of the change in circumstances in Bostopia, with Bostopian news generally a little slow to arrive on these shores at the best of times.

What is known is that “King” Fraser I greeted the Bulls’ 72nd minute headed winner with a belated round of applause. Apparently not the biggest football fan, he seemed to remember that one typically greeted goals for your team with applause and celebration.

The win opens up a much needed gap for the Bulls over the chasing pack going into the final round of games.

by **United States of Nova Calania** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 8:20 am

No surprise: A win against Northwest Kalactin and a loss versus Eastfield Lodge

Starting XI vs Northwest Kalactin @ Flanagan Stadium, Downtown, Burnham-on-Stove
GK Kaltenberger - DEF MacNeely - DEF Guerrero Lopez - DEF F.-X. Moineau - DEF Schmidt - MID K. Klingenberg - MID Mor. Klingenberg - MID Van der Jagt - MID Ng - ATT Guénette-Velazquez - ATT O'Hara

Burnham-on-Stove, Burnham-on-Stove - The logic was respected on matchdays 9 and 10. The United States of Nova Calania beat Northwest Kalactin 4-0 at home and lost 5-3 at Eastfield Lodge, a team ranked higher than us. First, we received Northwest Kalactin at Flanagan Stadium, home of Burnham and Hockley Albion Football Club. Game was originally schduled for wednesday may 5th 2027 but because of heavy rain pouring all week long, it has been postponed until sunday may 9th 2027. The regular starting XI had a rest this week and 3 Burnham and Hockley Albion players who played at home were included in the starting XI: Rose Van der Jagt, Emily Schmidt and Ally O'Hara. Nova Calania attacked at the 16th minute when Rose Van der Jagt had the ball and made a cross to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez who heads it past the goalkeeper. By the way, Northwest Kalactin is located in the boneyard and their players onto the field looks like zombies. I think Nova Calania played against a team full of zombies! The Tapirs increased their lead at the 21st minute when Rose Van der Jagt scored on a free kick. Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez received the ball in the penalty area at the 35th minute but instead of shooting, he made a short pass to Allie O'Hara who shoots and she scores. It was 3-0 Nova Calania at halftime. The zombies attacked at the 73rd minute when #9 was dribbling with the ball but he's tackled properly by François-Xavier Moineau. Who? François-Xavier Moineau, first time he makes the highlights, he's 24 years old and plays defense for Celtiques de Baie-Sainte-Marguerite. The ball becomes lose and Zia Guerrero Lopez makes a long pass to Morgan Klingenberg who makes a short pass to Yi Ming Xiong who subbed in earlier. Xiong kicks it and it goes in. The score was 4-0 and it's the final score.

GAME SUMMARY

16th    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez assisted by Rose Van der Jagt
21st    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Rose Van der Jagt
35th    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Allie O'Hara assisted by Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez
73rd    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Yi Ming Xiong assisted by Morgan Klingenberg

Paul-André Veilleux

Starting XI @ Eastfield Lodge
GK Bleau-Bean - DEF A. McCaskill - DEF Wolkowicz - DEF Gibouleau-Beaudoin - DEF N. McCaskill - MID Fauteux-McGrath - MID M.Q. Xiong - MID S. McCaskill - MID Gibouleau-Beaudoin - ATT Malboeuf - ATT Goudreau-Luneau

My home in Saint-Jean-Jacques-sur-Mer - Hello everyone, My name is Louis-Alexandre, I'm the son of the editor in chief and my dad's employee, Mr. Paul-André Veilleux, is unavailable to write a match report because he's actually detained on a small island located in Rushmore for trying to introduce craft beers in Eastfield Lodge. I saw the game at home on the couch and I'm actually not in Eastfield Lodge. The match was played in the capital city of Lodgertia because Eastfield Lodge thinks we're not good enough to play in New Lodger City. Eastfield Lodge attacked at the 8th minute when Boet Caceres had the ball and made a short pass to Paisley Lysander who kicks the ball and it's a goal. Eastfield Lodge had a corner kick at the 22nd minute, and Boet Caceres kicks the corner kick, Wlodzimierz Wolkowicz heads the ball outside of the penalty area but Zakaria Webber intercept the ball and kicks it into the net from 40 meters. Nova Calania also had a corner kick at the 28th minute, Nathan Fauteux-McGrath kicks the ball, Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin jumps and heads it into the goal. Guess what? Eastfield Lodge had a corner kick at the 31st minute and Boet Caceres kicks it and the ball goes directly into the goal without touching anyone! The score was 3-1 Eastfield Lodge at halftime.

Nova Calania attacked at the 55th minute when Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin had the ball and made a short pass to Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau who kicks it past Amin Horak. Monique Fredrich had the ball at the 63rd minute and she passes the ball to Fidelina Noble who heads it into the goal. Nova Calania attacked at the 70th minute when Scarlett McCaskill tried to make a cross to Lily-Rose Malboeuf but Jazzmine Gillou intercepts the ball and makes a long pass to Paisley Lysander who kicks it past Serge Bleau-Bean and scored his 2nd goal of the game. Nova Calania attacked at the 90 + 3 minute when Mei Qi Xiong made a header pass to Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez who subbed in earlier. Guénette-Velazquez receive the ball with his foot and makes a bicycle kick and the ball is in. Wow! You can see that this guy is very talented and he's only 23 years old. The final score was 5-3 Eastfield Lodge. The Eastfielders are in 1st place with 23 points in 10 games, followed by Myrtle Beach in 2nd place who has 20 points in 10 games. Natanians and Nosts are 3rd and, surprisingly, Mertagne are 4th. Nova Calania sits in 5th place with 16 points in 10 games, one point behind the Green Goblins who will be our week 12 opponent. On week 11, the Tapirs will receive Olastor at Zhāng Jiānglǐng Guójiā Tǐyùchǎng (General Zhang National Stadium) in Shanzhou. Expected weather is sunny and 32 celsius or nearly 90 fahrenheit. Once again, the regular starting XI will not play. And on week 12, the Tapirs goes to Mertagne to play against the Green Goblins in Dannin City with most of the regulars in the starting XI.

GAME SUMMARY

8th     GOAL EASTFIELD LODGE     Paisley Lysander assisted by Boet Caceres
22nd    GOAL EASTFIELD LODGE     Zakaria Webber (corner kick)
28th    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin (corner kick)
31st    GOAL EASTFIELD LODGE     Boet Caceres (corner kick)
55th    GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau assisted by Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin
63rd    GOAL EASTFIELD LODGE     Fidelina Noble assisted by Monique Fredrich
70th    GOAL EASTFIELD LODGE     Paisley Lysander assisted by Jazzmine Gillou
90 + 3  GOAL NOVA CALANIA     Rodrigo Guénette-Velazquez assisted by Mei Qi Xiong

Starting XI vs Olastor @ Zhāng Jiānglǐng Guójiā Tǐyùchǎng, Yuzhong District, Shanzhou
GK C.-É. Moineau - DEF MacNeely - DEF McCormack - DEF F.-X. Moineau - DEF N. McCaskill - MID Y. M. Xiong - MID M. Q. Xiong - MID Baumgartner - MID C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - ATT Berlinguette - ATT Malboeuf

Starting XI @ Mertagne @ Dannin City Stadium, Dannin, Dannmarsh, Mertagne
GK Bleau-Bean - DEF A. McCaskill - DEF Wolkowicz - DEF T. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - DEF N. McCaskill - MID Fauteux-McGrath - MID M.Q. Xiong - MID S. McCaskill - MID C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin - ATT Guénette-Velazquez - ATT Goudreau-Luneau

Louis-Alexandre

by **Sel Appa** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 1:28 pm

World Cup 98: Midpoint Review

World Cup 98

Comment (858)

Recommend (1834)

E-mail

Share

Print

Reprints/Permissions

NEMNENAIT—The Turtles are halfway thru the World Cup 98 Qualifiers and things have not gone well. The team scored just 3 goals in the first two games, and then were blanked in the next five. Many are beginning to question the decision to put a young and inexperienced team up for the competition: all the players being under 21. FFSA President Gerard Duceppe has been adamant that such a move would help young players get international experience to bring home and develop a more rounded national team. Duceppe insisted it would be foolish to sacrifice top veteran players when the team hasnt entered a Cup in over sixty iterations. "We are not expected to do well regardless since we are unranked and would be seeded against top teams. Now is the time for our boys to learn international play to improve our domestic league and grow into international competition."

The concept, praised by some, has been largely criticized as asinine. "This has to be the absolute worst performance of our national team in history." said famed commentator Nigel Barrons. "It is truly shameful for us having gone to the Semifinals not terribly long ago." Sports talk shows across the country have panned the teams performance, that started off decently before collapsing. Marek Löwys decision to play a hard defense faltered while inhibiting the ability of the team to score. Fans have had even worse reactions, with near riots breaking out after the 0-3 home loss to Captina Island that finished off the first leg. Police in Anila City were not entirely prepared for the level of hooliganism on display, but were ultimately able to contain, pacify, and disperse the crowds after a few hours with dozens of arrests.

Already, calls are being made to fire both Duceppe and Löwy, with the team facing elimination, but that seems unlikely from the FFSA Board perspective. Duceppe has been highly successful at improving the domestic leagues revenue in his short tenure. Löwy faces a more difficult prospect, but may be saved by improvements in the second leg. He stated he would move to a more offensive style to try to get some wins, admitting the tight defensive play was not working against well seasoned internationals. Many have still criticized the decision to "import" a foreigner to coach the team, despite the fact that he played for Anila City for years, and naturalized. "We need to loosen up a bit to get some balls on the net. We can score, that is clear, but not enough when it counts."

Looking forward, the team only has three home games to offer any advantage. Sel Appa scored two at home and one away, while the guests scored eleven here and hosts scored nine abroad. At this point, everyone is hoping for just one win to avoid total embarrassment. After that, the Turtles are expected to make a play for the Cup of Harmony, which takes on teams who failed to qualify, where the team has also earned bronze once. Despite all this, a few have had more positive takes. Legendary captain Estevez of Sel Appas finest cup runs urged a more relaxed approach: "We havent competed in years, nearly thirty tournaments. Everyone forgets it was a few Cups before we even qualified. The idea that we could jump back in and win is crazy. I think Duceppe has the right idea to grow a younger team." His endorsement notwithstanding, there have been calls for the icon to replace Löwy or even Duceppe. Estevez has repeatedly turned down such speculation, preferring his retirement as part owner of the Nemnen Turtles and coach of young development teams.

Comments

by **Yue Zhou** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 1:48 pm

ALDAR YUANSSON GUO, LEADING SCORER?
Reserve center-back en route for strange record after own-goal

YINCHENG -- It's pretty atypical for a country to have a center-back as their leading scorer in a qualifying campaign. Han Ruoyang (last seen in South Newlandia) was known for his daring runs from the defense when he captained the Dragons, but even then he never managed more than a handful of goals in a campaign. Similarly, despite Yuan Mingrong's aerial prowess, his all-time best qualification scoring record was...three in a season, hardly a number that could compete with the likes of Liu Huiying and Huang Shedong. Still, while teams rarely have a center-back as their leading scorer, even rarer is having another country's center-back as your leading scorer, a feat that, if it's been accomplished in recorded history, we have yet to find evidence of in WCQ play.

And yet, after Aldar Yuansson Guo's own-goal against Of The Godless, a team that previously had been shut out in nine consecutive matches, that is exactly what could happen. Stephen Giles and company will have just four matches to muster two goals for the same player, or Guo will be etched in the record books of a nation he has never been to and has no relation with. The goal, a failed attempt to hook Marcus Meyer's lob out of an empty net, had little to no impact on the final result, a comfortable 3-1 win for the Dragons. But at least one Dragon would certainly prefer to have it back.

"I mean, credit to Giles, it was a good chip, and from my angle it's hard to judge whether it was going in or not," the half-Græntfjaller center-back noted after the match. "But, regardless of the final result, it's still on a mistake on my part, and if I want a bigger role on this team I'll need to cut those out of my game. It's certainly not a team that you want to concede to." The mistake came in stoppage time of what had looked like a thorough 3-0 victory for the home team. With the Dragons pushing for a fourth during a prolonged period of possession, Zhu Tianming was dispossessed by veteran right-back Ligriv, who immediately sent a through-ball to the surging Meyer, who managed to get between Guo and left-back Gía Ansdottír Lin, who had slipped. With Guo and the perhaps overpressing Timofei Trischuk-Huang both hurrying back, Meyer lobbed the ball towards the net. While the replay showed that it was likely a bit off-line, a diving Guo managed to make just enough contact to loop it over Trischuk-Huang's head and in to cut the lead to 3-1.

Of The Godless have four remaining matches. Due to poor record-keeping in what appears to be some kind of fascist hellstate based on our limited information about the country, it may be unclear who scores any future goals. Thus, the record-keepers' consensus is that Guo will lose the record if they score at least two goals in their remaining matches, as there will be no way to verify whether the same person scored both goals. If they score exactly one goal in their remaining matches, Guo will share the record with the other goalscorer. But if they are unable to score - which had been the case for fifteen hours before Guo's slip-up - then it will be Yueren Aldar Yuansson Guo to take home the "top scorer" title.

Lev Repin declined to comment.

by **Flavovespia** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 2:09 pm

Lots Of Shots, None Of The Goals

Off on my first away trip of the Qualifiers, and it’s to Yuugria. World Cup Qualifying debutants, it’s always an interesting experience to travel to a new country, and Yuugria was no exception. Football hasn’t always been a big sport here, but on my way to the ground I was impressed to see a fledging game at grassroots level and from support of the government. On the pitch Yuugria couldn’t be faulted, 5th going into this game and only 4 points behind ours truly, Flavovespia, this was a golden opportunity for them to strike a case for a Top 3 spot.

Yuugria certainly weren’t going to let Flavovespia overwhelm them in the first half. Despite Jonathan Bagshaw twice forcing a save out of Kish Junne within 15 minutes, and a header from Russell Robinson going just wide, Yuugria didn’t give up looking to take the game to Flavovespia early on. Sammya Shag was the more effective of the strikers, able to run onto long balls and tested Paul Taylor and Nazir Hussain. Some good shots were met by some good saves by Peter Marriott, the young goalkeeper being tested but keeping his game mistake free. No goals at the break, but a good game, albeit one where Flavovespia could sense some frustrating creeping in.

There was a definite mentality switch in the second half, as after a few promising attacks for Flavovespia, Yuugria committed their defence much more, leaving Sallersto Bafio and Sammya Shag somewhat isolated. Flavovespia knew they’d have a challenge to play through such a robust defence. Once the side themselves that were at home trying to hold on against the Pot 1 side of the group, Flavovespia were in the opposite boat for a change.

Flavovespia tried and toiled, but to no avail. The late introduction of Richard Birmingham and Amrik Singh added a bit of liveliness to the attack, but at the cost of tactical smartness. I think a case of “too many cooks spoil the broth” befell Flavovespia, as chances turned into a matter of quantity, not quality. At the final whistle there were no goals in this game. Flavovespia remain 3rd, but with 3 games without a win, the fans will be very hopeful they can turn it around versus Qasden, else alarm bells could ring with not many games to go after that.
Judd Stafford

Return of the W

Flavovespia play their first of 2 games these Qualifiers in Highland Road, and if ever there was a time for its famous atmosphere to come out, it was today. On a run of 3 games without a win, to keep the charge for automatic qualification going, a win against an underperforming Qasden side was seen as critical.

Qasden had just the four points going into this game, in something of a rut despite a ranking that’d suggest a potential qualifying push in a good year. I think there was too much confidence in the crowd, it was a good atmosphere at kickoff, but by midway through the first half, with limited chances for Flavovespia, a restlessness was present. A Paul Taylor underhit pass that nearly allowed a goal without some quick thinking by Peter Marriott to slide out and clear added to the groans of the crowd. Flavovespia had plenty of possession and movement, but they were struggling to convert that into good chances. A sign of a tactical issue, or a side lacking confidence? It’s up for debate, but the goalless half time scoreline didn’t lift the mood.

Fears of a repeat against the game against Yuugria, or worse, were certainly in the air as the second half began. Flavovespia’s second half performances had been a concern recently, and if there was one flaw coming up recently of Victor Adeyemo, his Plan B and Plan C ideas seemed to be ineffectual. Qasden were struggling to make headway towards the Flavovespia goal, but for Flavovespia finding a way through the mass of defenders was tricky. Their best chances seem to come from long range. Jonathan Bagshaw had a curling shot strike the outside of the post, with the goalkeeper beaten. The goalkeeper was then forced into a brilliant save a few minutes later by Stan Scott-Wilson making a surprise foray up the field. A sense in the ground that this could tick over into another goalless draw, as the numbers on the scoreboard continued rolling over.

And finally, the goal that broke the deadlock. A long, searching ball by Russell Robinson found Jonathan Bagshaw down the wing. He weighted a cross perfectly, and Richard Birmingham jumped up, and with a firm head on the ball, steered it into the net. A huge roar erupted around Highland Road, as Flavovespia lead with just 6 minutes left on the clock. Flavovespia suddenly had a surge of confidence, and it was a calm, collected finale to the game, and they took the plaudits as they left the field with 3 points. Vdara beat Kamijiro 3-1, and wins for Kanzlia and Yuugria means Flavovespia still have plenty to do in the final 4 games to secure qualification.

by **Siovanija and Teusland** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 5:23 pm

A Different Campaign
Volume VI
Nightmare II

“This is a fucking nightmare,” screamed Ruslan Karamov in a room that was empty but for one of his most loyal members of the Republican Party, Trifon Klemencic.

“What the hell was this wackjob thinking! He’s screwed us! And he’s still running around out there somewhere?”

Klemencic shifted uncomfortably in front of his long-time friend. “That’s what they claim.”

“Fuck me. So then they’ll get him in court and he’ll talk about how Ruslan Karamov inspired him! Fuck!” Karamov threw the binder that had been sitting on his desk at the wall.

Klemencic had known Karamov for many years. But he hadn’t seen him this wildly angry since the night his government had collapsed under the strain of a vote of no-confidence, some 9 years ago. He knew that he was in this room right now because Karamov trusted him fully. “You, and nobody in the party, had anything to do with this at all. It was a random guy, just like the random guy who blew up the Bank of Siovanija in Pomorie a few years ago. Ruslan. There have been worse moments than this.”

“Trifon. Do you think Lara Hauser is going to let the death of her best friend go? There’s not a chance. This is personal now. I am going to be dragged in front of every single parliamentary committee in existence, investigated by every single police agency in the country, and they’ll try to say that I incited this. And when they do all of that, Trifon, what else do you think they will discover?”

“That you had nothing to do with this. Nothing.”

“They’ll discover the money! The bribes! All that Vrnovo shit. And our friends who resigned years ago to protect it all, aren’t going to be friends for very long once they get the scent that I’m going down. You’re on some of those lists too, Trifon. If I go down, the whole thing goes down.”

“It’ll take years for them to investigate it all.”

“But they will. They will, because everybody in the country is going to blame me for this. The Teus already hated me for isolation, now they think I killed their hero.”

“Many in Siovanija still love you.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts, now!”

“Ruslan. We have to act decisively. I need you to think.”

The former Chancellor stared at his long-time associate and ‘business partner.’ He got up and looked out the window. He stared out over Borograd, for what felt like hours - but in reality was only a few moments. It was all the calculating politician needed to calm down.

“Wimmer was a good guy, you know. He didn’t deserve that.”

Klemencic nodded.

Karamov sighed. “I’m going to make a call. To our friend in Vrnovo. You understand?”

Klemencic nodded again.

“We have a problem with somebody running around that could compromise everything we’ve worked for. Our friend in Vrnovo can fix that.”

Klemencic stared at his shoes. The fact that he didn’t know - nor did he ever want to know - the name of their ‘friend in Vrnovo’ said everything about what kind of friendship this was exactly.

Karamov left the room to make the phone call - that had long been the way these sorts of things were done. But Klemencic of course overhead certain phrases that, if ever asked in a court of law, he would vow he had not: ‘this guy cannot come back to tell his story,’ ‘it needs to look like suicide,’ ‘we’ll sort it out with your contacts at the police.’ Sometimes he wondered whether he worked for a political party or a gang - something he usually forgot when he glanced at the T7000 watch on his wrist.

Karamov returned to the room now. “Our friend will take care of it.”

Trifon was a bit taken aback. “The police are everywhere right now. There’s no chance they'll find him first.”

“Our friend is everywhere, too. The police description will be enough.”

There was a silence between the two of them. “Now, in terms of politics,” said Trifon, trying very hard to get off the previous subject.

“That’s a big problem. The next poll is going to be rough. I can’t go to the funeral, I think if I show up in Teusland right now I won’t make it out. Honestly, I hate to say it, but we have to lay low. Take whatever blow we’re going to get in this election and focus on the aftermath.”

The TV behind them interrupted the conversation.

”...this is RBC News Siovanija reporting from downtown Pomorie-Marzig, where riots have broken out in the Teus community following the assassination of Josef Wimmer…”

“...the rioters have crossed the bridge into the Siovanijan side of the city and, sadly, are causing great damage to property and businesses. Police units are engaged in trying to force the rioters out of the area, but this is shaping up to be a long and depressing evening…”

“...the latest flashpoint in a long history of ethnic violence in this city…”

Karamov looked at the TV almost entranced. “This,” he began.

“This is what we need!”

“The Siovanijan people have to be protected from these imperialists!”

Trifon looked at him concerningly. “Ok, and how does that solve our problem?”

“Trifon. How are they going to investigate and prosecute us in Siovanija & Teusland. If there is no Siovanija & Teusland?”

Klemencic was shocked. “You mean… independence?”

Karamov was building the idea in his head as he answered: “Think about it. If the union dissolved, there would be new constitutions, laws, everything - and no chance of getting brought in front of a Teus court.”

Klemencic still didn’t know what to say. “But… to break up the union? To have that be your legacy? How would it even be possible?”

Karamov stayed silent for a moment as he pondered a response. His thoughts were interrupted by breaking news.

”...RBC News is reporting that, at this hour, the police have recovered a body a few kilometres away from the spot of Josef Wimmer’s assassination. Sources say that the police believe at this time that the deceased man is the assassin…”

“...sources say that injuries appear consistent with suicide…”

Karamov walked over to the back of his desk and pulled out a bottle of the finest Siovanijan vodka. Pouring two glasses, he handed one to Klemencic and gave a toast.

“To Josef Wimmer. He was a better man than you and I.”

“And to our friend in Vrnovo.”

Siovanija & Teusland 3-1 Damukuni

XI: Bodeker; Wimmer, Steinhausl, Rodl, Reichenbach (Mesko 65'); Porsche, Prekmurje (J. Kosch-Kovarik 65'), Le Meji; Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl (Bischoffshausen 46')
Goals: Dusan Korlikov 17', Einar Hackl 28', Aleksander Kosch-Kovarik 40'
Man of the Match: Dusan Korlikov
In Brief: Exactly what the Goldhorns needed at the Draistadion, as they get a big 3-1 win over Damukuni. There were big expectations on the team in this one, but the Goldhorns early on showed positive play and a good attacking spirit. Dusan Korlikov looked dangerous on the left side, and it was no surprise when he finally broke through to get the opening marker, a great solo effort from just outside the box on the left side. The Goldhorns continued to dominate after this, and Einar Hackl was able to get a poke at a bouncing ball following a corner that took a good bounce and went in. It wasn't Hackl's prettiest goal, nor was this his best game - but he found a way to score when it mattered. Twelve minutes later, with the visitors still reeling from going down, Aleksander Kosch-Kovarik scored his second goal of the qualifying campaign to make it 3-0. Damukuni would draw one back in the second half, but there wasn't too much drama in the closing stages as Siovanija & Teusland picked up a massive 3 points.

Busoga Islands 1-2 Siovanija & Teusland

XI: Holz; Schwefel (Wimmer 70'), Steinhausl, Rodl (Apel 80'), Reichenbach; Porsche, Winter, Le Meji (Rosberg 85'); Weber, Zschokke, Hackl
Goals: Xorge Le Meji 9', Josef Weber 76'
Man of the Match: Josef Weber
In Brief: What a way to make your Goldhorns debut for Josef Weber! It was a match the youngster won't soon forget, as he got things started off with a beautiful cross that Xorge Le Meji managed to get on the end of and tap in within the first 10 minutes to make it 1-0 for the Goldhorns. The Busogans, however, were not going to give up that easily, and had several strong chances in the rest of the first half. It was still level at the whistle, but that would change just minutes into the second half. Silvio Rodl made a harsh challenge on Ayben Uzun, earning himself a yellow card and giving the home side a chance to equalize from the penalty spot. While Per Holz stopped Isa Kujabi Jr's first attempt, the young midfielder redeemed himself by immediately knocking in the rebound that had fortuitously bounced to him. That made it 1-1, and each side really wanted the 3 points here and continued to push for the rest of the game. Finally, the Goldhorns would break through. A great through ball from Le Meji found Josef Weber running into space. Weber beat his man clean and then fired a shot towards goal that was just powerful enough to beat the keeper and make it 2-1. Busoga tested the Goldhorns in the final 15 minutes afterwards, but couldn't get one back - Josef Weber had the all-important winner on his international debut.

Siovanija & Teusland 25 man squad for international window 6
at Kelssek; vs Jeckland (Mollin Park, Felsenkirchen)

Goalkeepers: Holz, Bodeker, Kranz
Defenders: Schwefel, Wimmer, Reichenbach, Mesko, Steinhausl, Rodl, Sanner, Apel
Midfield: Porsche, Gruber, Prekmurje, Winter, Rosberg, Le Meji, J. Kosch-Kovarik
Wingers: Korlikov, Weber, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Zschokke
Forwards: Hackl, Burger, Seidl

Expected XI vs Kelssek: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl, Rodl, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje, Le Meji; Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl
Expected XI vs Jeckland: Kranz; Wimmer, Sanner, Apel, Mesko; Gruber, Winter, Rosberg; Weber, Zschokke, Seidl

Preview: The Goldhorns passed the test that international window 5 offered them with flying colours - 6/6 against their two biggest opponents for that all-important 2nd position in Group 12. Their 'reward' is a match with the group's top seed, world #3 Kelssek, away. Going into the campaign, everyone knew that this was going to be the toughest game on the calendar, and nothing about that has changed over the last 10 matches. That's why the victories over Damukuni and the Busoga Islands were so important - giving the Goldhorns a little bit of breathing space in 2nd position. It was a draw when these sides met in Borograd, and a repeat of that would be an incredibly good result for the Goldhorns. The standard starting XI will get the go in this one against a Kelssek team coming off a 2-0 win over Damukuni. Here's an interesting stat about this one - Kelssek and Siovanija & Teusland both remain undefeated so far, and there's only 1 other group in all of Qualifying with 2 unbeaten teams: Group 4, where both Tumbra and Chromatika are unbeaten. The similarities don't stop there - Kelssek & Tumbra both boast a 7-3-0 record with a +11 goal differential, while Chromatika and the Goldhorns are each 6-4-0 so far in the campaign. Making things even stranger - Tumbra and Kelssek are next to each other in the KPB+ Rankings: #2 and 3, respectively. As are the Goldhorns and Chromatika - #31 & 32 respectively. Now, guess which pair of teams will also face off on matchday 11? That's right, Tumbra and Chromatika. Does this mean anything? Not in the slightest. But it will be interesting to see which combination - or potentially all - of these teams will remain with that 0 in the 'L' category after this one. Following the tough test against Kelssek, the Goldhorns will return home to face Jeckland at Mollin Park in Felsenkirchen. The Goldhorns took a 2-0 win when the sides met in Jeckland earlier in this campaign, and with both goalscorers in that game (Uwe Seidl and Hans Gruber) getting the start here will be hoping to do just as well. Jeckland had lost their first 9 matches of qualifiers in a row, but earned a massive result on matchday 10 when they beat Drawkland 2-1 away from home. That result will surely have galvanized the visitors to finish the campaign better than they started, and there would be serious danger in underestimating this squad. With a result in Kelssek seeming unlikely, it will be absolutely imperative for the Goldhorns to take care of business here.

by **HOT-DAMN** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 5:57 pm

Somewhere in Imporia
World Cup 98 Qualifying Match 10: Imporia 2-6 Kensington Town

There is a popular belief amongst a certain population in Hapilopper, and in its new Anaia territory HOT-DAMN: If you don’t want to be known for something, don’t emphasize it. In the fortnight that followed the beer leaguers’ win over the North Oharan Valley Union, details about Hapiloppian President Brett Booth’s meeting with HOT-DAMN director William Mathis came out. Booth was furious about Mathis drinking from the beer bong and he directly accused Mathis of trying to sabotage his efforts to clean up the country’s image. When asked about it, Booth said there was a reputation problem that needed to be handled, and that the nation was going to still be the laughingstock of Esportiva if that behavior continued. Mathis, on the other hand, flat-out told reporters that Booth needed to get a stick out of his ass.

And Mathis wasn’t the only one. Many Conservatives, as well as a few Liberals, took umbrage to Booth’s comments, as well as Booth’s repeated insistence that the country clean up its image. As a way to protest Booth’s rhetoric and his continued moralism, a dozen Conservatives and Liberals shotgunned beers on the Parliament floor. Booth responded by demanding they be censured for “conduct unbecoming a lawmaker.” The speaker of the Hapiloppian Parliament, Greg Miner, a Liberal from Buckridge, rebuffed his party leader Booth, by saying the lawmakers had technically done nothing wrong, they were of age, and that Booth needed to get a stick out of his ass.

And at Raceway Park in Buckridge, when the beer leaguers played Tanirinthia, a crucial match for the second automatic qualifying spot, two huge banners on either side of the park gave the public opinion of the matter. On the south end zone, a banner supporting Mathis: “FREE SHOTS FOR BILL MATHIS!” On the north end zone, a banner opposing Booth: “BOOTH: GET THE STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS!”

The matter was infuriating to Booth, to say the least. All he wanted was for his nation to clean up its image and rather than emphasize the idiots among them, he wanted his nation to be known for its best and brightest. He wanted to go to other nations, say he was from Hapilopper and get a response that indicated that the smartest people in Esportiva were from there. Instead, he feared he’d go to another nation, say where he was from, and be asked about the guy that got caught driving down the Trans-Hap with a stolen vial of uranium, three bottles of whiskey and an alligator in his truck bed. And then he feared people would tell him he needed to get a stick out of his ass.

Wanting to calm down, he turned on the most recent match from his office in the President’s House – the match against Imporia. He wanted to find some solace from the consistent barrages from all sides, from people wanting him to calm down and just let people do their thing. So he turned the match on, even though he abhorred the idea of the beer leaguers in the World Cup. The whole idea of a beer league team playing in the World Cup, and inspiring a new territory out in Anaia – specifically in the Nova Calania continent, sounded so disgusting to him. But he was willing to let that slide, if only for a few minutes to calm him down so he could, theoretically, get that stick out of his ass.

But about six minutes into the match, Booth swore he saw Charlie Downer, lead striker for the beer league squad, talk to a player on the Imporian team, during a slow moment in the match. They spotted a camera, and both seemingly gestured in a way that would say “get that stick out of your ass!”

“NO!!! GOD DAMN IT! MOTHER FUCKER! FUCK FUCK FUCK! MOTHER OF FUCK!” Booth roared as loudly as he could. His staffers rushed into the room.

“What’s wrong?” a staffer asked.

“THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS TOLD ME TO GET A STICK OUT OF MY ASS!” Booth roared. “I’M OUT OF HERE!”

Booth stormed out of his office and out of the President’s House, leaving a cadre of confused staffers wondering just what in the hell had just happened.

“Man, he needs to get a stick out of his ass,” a staffer said.

by **Chromatika** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 6:30 pm

Matchday 9: Bir Matras 0-0 Chromatika
Goal: None.
Starting Lineup: Fillar, J. (C); Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Bittencourt -> Xuen-Zhukov (52'), Haitou -> Fillar, G. (52'), Ataciara -> Nodis (74'), Mesic-Mizayaki -> Larriet-Cortes (74'), Prenn -> Françine-Miklavivec (81')

Matchday 10: Chromatika 2-0 Kimi-Suomi @ RCK Field, Alnio, Capital District (Cap. 100,400; 32,000 Seats)
Goal: Fillar, B. 14', Howard-Dawes 74'
Starting Lineup: Fillar, J. (C); Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov - Howard-Dawes.
Substitutes: Harry -> Jackson-Jones (62'), Mátyás -> Fillar, E. (62'), Þyrill -> Fillar, B. (70'), Baïe-Verte -> Howard-Dawes (81'), Saburo -> Nodis (81')

Roster Selection for Matchdays 11 & 12
Starting XI: Fillar, J. (C); Coulibaly - Jackson-Jones - Nodis; Fillar, G. - Larriet-Cortes - Fillar, B. - Fillar, E.; Françine-Miklavivec; Xuen-Zhukov - Howard-Dawes.
Reserves: GK Hailee Sourtois, GK Jill Swanson, DCR Paisley Paterson, DC Rowan Harry, DCL Uemura Saburo, DC Claudia Lethbridge-Antonio, WBR Ibayashi Haitou, WBL Nemes Mátyás, DLP Alija Mesic-Mizayaki, CDM Jayla Lethbridge-Antonio, AM Maddie Prenn, AM Þyrill Bjarnhéðinsson, AF Marietta Fucheux, AF Adélaïde Bittencourt, AF Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste.

Too Many Draws?

By: Jackson Lawless, Football Correspondent

Ten games. No losses. Six wins. Four draws.

Twenty-two points out of thirty. Not bad, right? Save two things - you've a team who is 7-3-0 ahead of you, and three of those four draws are unexplainable.

Sure, if Chromatika somehow upsets Tumbra, or if it holds on to the four-point lead it has on Darmen to close out the Qualifiers, it won't matter - they'll be in the World Cup and hoping to make it out of the Group Stage for the first time in a hot minute. However, if things get a bit murky because of a loss here and there, depending on the quality of losses, it won't be those losses that they comment on - it'll be the following:

Chromatika 1-1 Bir Matras
Martian Independent Republic 1–1 Chromatika
Bir Matras 0-0 Chromatika

Yes, those are two of the five goals that Chromatika have conceded so far this campaign - with one more coming against Tumbra, two against Hispinas, and the rest of the matches being clean sheets (which makes it six clean sheets out of ten). It also means that in these three problematic draws, the Anomalies have only scored two goals.

So, what is the issue? Why is Chromatika dropping points to teams that they should be dominating?

There are three big issues. First, it's the lack of killer instinct from an even game. The Anomalies have done well with getting back when they're a goal down - that's how they even managed to get the draw against Tumbra and the Martian Independent Republic - but when it's an even game, they don't do well as a collective. All the wins that they've gotten so far has been because of moments of individual brilliance, not due to combined play as a whole. If they don't pick up that play - especially in the first half-hour of the game - they won't go far in the World Cup Proper. They'll need to pick things up.

Second, the goalkeeping has been suspect. It's not easy to point fingers at Juxon Fillar and Hailee Sourtois, but it's hard not to admit that with the goals conceded, both Juxon and Hailee have been at fault. The players around them didn't help out, either. Juxon and Hailee - and Jill - have done well enough in the other matches, but they have struggled especially against those smaller teams. Hopefully, it will just be a blip in the radar going forward, and they'll continue to show up against proper opposition, but it's been a bit concerning.

Lastly, there seems to be a bit of a fog over the program. Perhaps it's the fact that they haven't hit the second round of the World Cup Proper in a while. Perhaps it's the fact that the Fillar Era is nearing an end. However, the air of togetherness, the air of playing with confidence, the air of playing for the Chromatik public looks to not be there. They need a galvanizing moment, another jolt to the system to remind them what it means to be an Anomalies player, if they are to go a bit further than now.

Tumbra. Martian Independent Republic. Darmen. Hispinas. Twelve points to go, four point lead on third place.

Make it to the dance first - work out the rest of the kinks later.

by **Vetrahjart** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 6:39 pm

Snapshots of Vetric Culture - Politics

This series is designed to give outsiders a glimpse of Vetric culture across several different categories. Instead of a thorough, deep dive into each topic, we will merely highlight important people, places, and events that make up our Vetric culture.

Click below to catch previous editions of Snapshots of Vetric Culture
Part 1|Part 2

For those who have never encountered Vetric culture before, here are some quick facts that help give you a fuller understanding of the Vetric people and culture:

- The Liera is a unicameral, national legislature structured on proportional representation. It consists of 171 seats and is elected every 4 years.
- Voting rights are granted in the year a person turns 18 years old.

As always, here are those handy maps:

Constitution

The Vetric constitution was signed as a part of the Oxelövik Agreement of 1832 on 21 November 1832. It transformed the Kingdom of Ålbenlland-Vetjylland from being an absolute monarchy into the constitutional monarchy of Vetrahjart. The 1832 constitution granted rights such as freedom of speech and freedom of the press. It also laid out the Act of Succession - a regulatory act for the line of succession to the Vetric throne and the conditions that eligible members of the royal family must follow to remain in it.

Monarchy

Elise III of the House of Svnhud (73) serves as head of state. Her authority is purely symbolic, and representational.

The heir apparent to the throne is HRH Crown Prince Thomas (56).

Executive Branch
The government performs the executive functions of the kingdom. The affairs of government are decided by the Cabinet, led by the Prime Minister. The Cabinet and the Prime Minister are responsible for their actions to the Liera (parliament).
Members of the Cabinet are given the title of "minister" and each holds a different range of government duties. The day-to-day role of the cabinet members is to serve as head of one or more segments of the national bureaucracy, and as head of the civil servants to which all employees in that department report.

The executive branch is divided into the following ministries:
- Office of the Prime Minister
- Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries
- Ministry of Culture
- Ministry of Defense
- Ministry of Education and Research
- Ministry of Employment
- Ministry of Trade and Industry
- Ministry of the Environment
- Ministry of Finance
- Ministry of Foreign Affairs
- Ministry of Health and Care Services
- Ministry of Justice
- Ministry of Infrastructure
- Ministry of Petroleum and Energy
- Ministry of Transport

The Cabinet ministers are appointed at the sole discretion of the prime minister and formally appointed by the monarch. The constitution dictates that the cabinet must not have the parliament against it, and that the appointment by the monarch is a formality. The cabinet must have the confidence of the Liera. In practice, the monarch will ask the leader of a parliamentary party that has a majority in the Liera to form a government.

The only way to oust a government is through a motion of no confidence in the Liera. This motion must get a majority of the total number of votes in the Liera (at least 86).

The budget is another example of the power the Liera has given the government. The government's budget proposal is adopted unless a majority (at least 86) of the members of the Liera vote against it. This is to make it possible to govern even with a minority government. Legislation may be initiated by the Cabinet or by members of the Liera.

Legislative Branch

The 171 seats of the Liera are contested in elections held every four years and all seats are taken up by members belonging to a political party. All parties receiving more than 4% of the votes are represented in parliament. Elections are held every four years on the first Monday of September.

Political Parties

Unionist Party (Förbinfrär)

The Unionists uphold conservative values and advocate for a market-oriented policy, lower taxes, and reduced government regulation. They emphasize individual responsibility and self-reliance.

Social Democrats (Bjudemokrateren)

The Bjudemokrateren upholds social democratic values and advocates for social justice, equality, and the expansion of the welfare state. They emphasize the importance of solidarity and social security.

National Action Party (Tvåspögatrafrär)

The Tvåspögatrafrär advocates for the interests of rural communities, agriculture, and entrepreneurial freedom. They emphasize the importance of local self-governance and environmental protection.

Christian Democrats (Kristdemokraternen)

The Kristdemokraternen party is based on Christian core values and advocates for the right to life, traditional family values, and social justice. They emphasize the importance of ethics and morals in politics.

Left Party (Plimnfrär)

The Plimnfrär advocates for individual freedoms and civil rights. They emphasize the importance of free-market economics, competition, and personal responsibility.

People's Party (Sändenfrär)

The Sändenfrär holds socialist values and advocates for comprehensive social security, income equality, and wealth redistribution. They emphasize the importance of social benefits and workers' rights.

Green Party (Skindafrär)

The Skindafrär advocates green values and supports environmental protection, climate action, and social justice. They emphasize the importance of sustainability and the need to reduce the ecological footprint.

Alternative Party (Risklovafrär)

The Risklovafrär holds nationalist and anti-immigration values. They advocate for a restrictive immigration policy and the strengthening of Vetric culture and identity.

Judicial Branch

The Vertric legal system is a mixture of customary law, civil law, and common law traditions; the Supreme Court renders advisory opinions to the legislature when asked.

The regular courts include the Supreme Court, courts of appeal, city and county courts, and conciliation councils. Judges attached to the regular courts are appointed by the Monarch after nomination by the Ministry of Justice.

The Monarch has the right in the Cabinet to pardon criminals after a sentence has been passed. This right is rarely used and always by the elected government in the name of the Monarch.

KÄSKLALAS SCHEDULE (GROUP 14)
MD1: @ Bostopia (115) - L 3-5
MD2: @ The Ko-orenite Constellation (123) - L 1-4
MD3: vs Audioslavia (40) W 3-2
MD4: @ Legalese (81) L 1-3
MD5: vs Squornshelan Remnant States (5) L 2-3
MD6: @ Xanneria (52) W 5-2
MD7: vs Hmmland (UR) W 1-0
MD8: vs Bostopia (115) W 2-1
MD9: vs The Ko-orenite Constellation (123) D 1-1
MD10: @ Audioslavia (40) L 0-2
MD11: vs Legalese (81)
MD12: @ Squornshelan Remnant States (5)
MD13: vs Xanneria (52)
MD14: @ Hmmland (UR)

MD9: Vetrahjart 1–1 The Ko-orenite Constellation (Instrum Arena, Oxelövik)
Goals: '35 Friis (VET) | '52 Kamran (TKC)

MD10: Audioslavia 2–0 Vetrahjart (National Stadium, Audioslavia)
Goals: '15 Lúnquerque (AUD)| '71 Calderón (AUD)

Pictures of Queen Elise III and HRH Crown Prince Thomas were created using Nightcafe AI.

by **City of Myrtle Beach** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 7:11 pm

Matchday 9 | Group 2
Stadion Nacional, Natanians and Nosts | Kickoff 6:00 pm | Attendance: 26,884

Natanians and Nosts 1

3 Myrtle Beach

García 75'
18' Brennan

26', 63' Meyers

Matchday 10 | Group 2
Grand Strand Stadium, Myrtle Beach, Myrtle Beach | Kickoff 6:00 pm | Attendance: 13,704

Myrtle Beach 6

2 Kandorith

Hoover 16'
18', 45+1' player

Wright 21'

Meyers 33', 75'

Cain 48'

Nixon 83'

Lineup MD11 vs Mertagne: CF Brennan, CF Meyers, RM Norris, CM Mann, CM Fulton, LM Potts, RB Doyle, CB Hayes, CB Newman, LB Mathis (c), GK Page

Lineup MD12 at Northwest Kalactin: CF Adkins, CF Meyers, RM Hoover, CM Mann, CM Wright, LM Anderson, RB Nixon, CB Carey, CB Newman, CB Mathis (c), GK Webster

The Path to the World Cup

from CBC Sports

After matchday 10, Myrtle Beach sits in second on the group two table, high enough for automatic qualification to the World Cup. Unfortunately, there are still four more games to play and plenty of opportunity to lose out on qualification to the World Cup. We play Mertagne next at home, then head to Northwest Kalactin, and close out with a game at home versus Eastfield Lodge and away versus Olastor. The easiest route to the finish would be to win every match, but unfortunately we have to lose some sometimes. Our most likely wins where we are heavily favored are at Kalactin and Olastor. If we only win those two matches, then we go up to 26 points. Natanians and Nosts, third place in the group, still have to play Eastfield Lodge, Mertagne, and Nova Calania, so it's likely that they will also only get around six points, leaving them behind us if we only get six points.

Unfortunately, behind Natanians is Mertagne. If Mertagne loses against Nova Calania and win all other matches, they would match us at 26 points, and if they drew Nova Calania, they would surpass us with 27 and put us in third if Natanians get eight points or less and don't pass on goal difference. Nova Calania is another wildcard--realistically, to have a chance at qualification, they would have to win three out of their next four matches, maybe two and a draw if they get lucky. Two and a draw could be realistic for them, as they have yet to play Olastor or Kandorith a second time, but a loss against Natanians and Nosts (or even a draw) would likely put the top three out of reach for them.

Kandorith and Olastor are all but mathematically eliminated, and Kalactin is completely out of the running with just a win and a draw to show for their run. They do have the chance to make some major upsets happen and knock some higher teams out of the World Cup. It's worth remembering that Northwest Kalactin, earlier in this campaign, tied against Myrtle Beach. If they manage that again, and we lose to Mertagne, that could potentially set up this group for a very close last two matchdays. See you then.

by **Zwangzug** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 7:29 pm

"Hello, Rosalyn Nyler here from the Bassabook Baritone. What lessons can you take from this match?"

"Well," said Stephen, "I think it's clear that the Imperial team has incredible speed and uses that to their advantage, and that their stature isn't an insurmountable barrier. But most teams we play, whether in the qualifiers or anywhere else, are not going to have this particular skill set. So I don't think we need to spend a lot of time analyzing how we could have done better in this particular encounter."

"Is there anything about the Imperial side that you think you could emulate?"

"They don't seem to be a very cohesive side. There's a lot of internecine spats, but it doesn't hurt their performance on the pitch. So I think that could be a reminder, if we spend too much time worrying about touchy-feely nonsense, to back up and focus on playing the game on the field. Also, I think every team could potentially benefit from having boots like theirs, but I doubt they make them in my size."

"How do you think Gregor Courtenay has adjusted to running the national team?"

"I think anyone would have had difficulty replacing Kate DiMarini. Courtenay's record with Ephesian speaks for itself. Beyond that, responsibility for results comes down to us."

"Results aside, do you think he has a good relationship with the players? The ones that don't play for Ephesian, I mean?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Stephen snapped. "Even if he didn't, what do you think I'm going to do, throw him under the train? I wouldn't throw any coach under the train, least of all one I've known and liked for years."

"I was just--"

"Do you ask Gnostic whether Juan Tzimisces has the confidence of the gnomes?"

"Well, I haven't been able to--"

"Maybe you should!"

"Okay, I see you respect him very much and want to defend him, that's a good sign. I guess. Um, do you see any parallels between the home team's religion and the did dash?"

"The what?"

"I don't know how to pronounce it, it's some...ancient religious text. I just figured, since you're Ephesian, you know..."

"Oh, yeah," said Narayan. "Dooo dudu dududududdooooodo..."

Narayan did not normally volunteer himself for interviews, but apparently the Baritone was more his style. Stephen happily yielded the mic, but the young midfielder didn't have much to add. Still, of all the possible branches an interview after defeat in the Dreamed Realm could take, this was definitely one of the best options.

MD9: Gnorimoschema 30, Gnap 41
MD10: Dravid 45+3, Hegesa 57, Carre 86

by **Jeruselem** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 7:34 pm

At Dazza Dallas Stadiium, Jeruselem Manager Sam Maxis and team member Cherryl Dallas after Jeruselem lost 3-2 to visiting Sarzonia team.

Cherryl: Well another loss, but I guess we're getting better. We only lost 3-2 and 3-0 to the same team
Sam: Don't worry, we're not even close to qualifying. I don't want to finish last.
Cherryl: I don't want be in last placed team, who is last?
Sam: New Fernia, they actually do have one win now.
Cherryl: Say, that Bongo Johnson beat Valanora earlier. How weird was that. Valanora barely beat us 1-0 and then they lost to Bongo Johnson.
Sam: Nothing to do with Bongo Johnson, Valanora aren't playing to their full potential at all. They barely beat New Fernia today 1-0.

Cherryl: Sarzonia are just doing it though, they are looking like real number 1
Sam: For sure, if Valanora has not worry it has to be Sarzonia being the best team in the group
Cherryl: Who we got up next?
Sam: We go to Doubeia and then host Bears Armed.
Cherryl: That's not exactly an easy looking set of opponents
Sam: Oh yes, we only play the 3rd and 4th placed in the group. Yeah, no problems

Cherryl: What's the table like
Sam: New Fernia, Bongo Johnson, us, Bohr, Bears Armed, Doubeia, Valanora and Sarzonia.
Cherryl: I guess 3rd last isn't too bad
Sam: Say, what's your Mum do?
Cherryl: Oh, professional mother. Never had a real job, ever.
Sam: Hey, that's why we females exist. Your family is really a just bunch of professional mothers with jobs.

Cherryl: I'll get to that stage I guess but not now.
Sam: Still at home?
Cherryl: Don't have enough money to rent anything so not going away
Sam: I understand, property is expensive in Jeruselem.
Cherryl: I'm not exactly swimming in money like Alice over there
Sam: She lives a castle anyway

Cherryl: Actually I have no idea how mum gets money, she doesn't have a job and she's a single mum.
Sam: Probably fathers paying maintenance, so don't worry about it.
Cherryl: Mum isn't exactly picky about sexual partners but then she doesn't mind childern
Sam: Well be grateful you exist I guess
Cherryl: Most of time, it's because Mum was drunk.
Sam: Pretty normal in Jeruselem, we can't complain. We can't complain about existing or else we don't exist.

by **Sel Appa** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 8:17 pm

Own Goals Give Turtles Lead Before Loss

World Cup 98 Qualifying - Matchday 8

Comment (35)

Recommend (126)

E-mail

Share

Print

Reprints/Permissions

CASSIA, Mytanija—A merciless World Cup qualification showed no signs of abating when the only Sel Appan goals against their first opponent of the second leg were own goals. A pass from Jesse David to Kris Welck was hammered on goal, but deflected off a scattered block by Adnan Sulejmanović and right past the surprised Mytanijan keeper, Alekso Vasilevski. The home team was able to equalize with a bang on goal by Lacina Issoumou. However, that would not last with a play by David that bounced off yet another defender and into the net. Mytanijan coach, Ermin Držić could not believe his luck, figuring with qualification on the horizon, an unranked team could be pounded by the benchwarmers. Ultimately he needed a switch in the 75th minute to get Denis Ovsyannikov out on the pitch, and the tide turned, with an assisted goal from the powerful midfielder blowing right past Bobby Boyd to put the sides back on par. Play continued with the Turtles hopeful to at least scrape a draw, but Ovsyannikov again found the back of the net with just seconds to go for full time. The extra time was of no use to our boys, who fell 2 to 3.

When asked what happened, Coach Löwy pressed that the team was improving, but got unlucky. "With own goals, it usually starts with offensive effort and a bad bounce credits the defense. So I take that as a good sign going forward. Unfortunately, with Ovsyannikov coming on towards the end, we got put on our back feet." With six matches left, the Turts would need a perfect win streak, every other team in the way to lose, and maybe goal differential. But the prospects are remote with Captina Island at 17 points, just two away from closing Sel Appa out. Even so, the team is desperate to prove themselves with a much needed win. Löwy even more so, hoping his job isnt on the line. However, thats thought to be unlikely as this run was expected to be weak and the FFSA Board wants to give him a chance. The almost certain Cup of Harmony run is expected to go better with the players having more exposure.

"Really our boys are just new to this style of play. They are fresh even to our domestic league teams. The experience they are receiving is valuable, and I know this is difficult for many, but losing is the best lesson on the road to winning. I am pleased with the efforts of this scrappy team. I know our fans expect better, but they must have some patience as we reenter the world stage." Duceppe reassured in a brief interview, but nerves remain on edge in all quarters. Calls for heads to roll increase with each loss. However, Duceppe said he was 100% behind the coaching staff. "Löwy is doing a great job with what he has, I have to urge patience." As anyone knows in sports, patience is a commodity eternally in short supply.

Comments

by **HUElavia** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 8:39 pm

Zenic 3–4 HUElavia
(Maruscak 3', 80', Shuji 25' | Uchee 9', 41', Dias 63', Álvarez 90+3')

HUElavia 2–2 The 14 Stars
(Schmidt 17', Milano 70' | Nunez 38', Hansen 86')
Estadio Salvador, Sao Salvador, HUElavia

Confessione

A mobster's confession of his family's sins.

Dino looked down at the papers that Agent Coutinho had handed over to him. On them was a statement that read where everything he had disclosed during these past several hours was true and he swears the validity of his statments. "What the hell is this?" looked Dino with disgust. "Isn't that camera on the corner recordin' me? Isn't that enough to serve as the truth?" Agent Coutinho calmly replied "I get your frustration Dino, but for the sake of both of our times, this was the preferred method from my end." "Oh really? What was the other option?" "You'd have to do a polygraph test and recall everything you've told me again. Please Dino, sign the papers." "You've gotta be..." Dino slouched back and began reading through the papers, skimming a bit through it. "I'd advise reading it slowly and go through it."

Dino began to read it more calmly, having statements involving where he confessed all his fellow made men being involved in crimes, as well as the planned hit. It began to feel like a slog, but the more he read, the more his anxiety began to creep up on him again. The room swirled once more, as he was losing focus on the words on the paper. Agent Coutinho noticed his distress, asking "Hey, are you okay? Do you need some water?" "Y-yeah, I'd like some." "Take it easy a bit if you need to." Agent Coutinho left the room, and Dino closed his eyes to breathe in and out. He knows that he's almost done and he opens his eyes to push himself to finish signing the papers. He signs them, sweat coming up on his palms and once through the pages, he slams the pen down and just slouches back, taking as deep of a breath as he can to calm down.

Agent Coutinho came back and handed him another water bottle, asking "Did you finish?" "Yes, I did." He picked up the papers and sifted through them, looking at all the signatures Dino had signed. "Alright, you did do this all. I'll be right back, please wait here for a moment while I turn this in." He left the room and Dino was left to his thoughts to himself again. Dino sat there, tapping his finger on the table. He wondered if this was truly the right thing to do. All he knew in his life was La Cosa Nostra and crime. His father Vittorino was involved with extortion and he'd sneak peeks at his dad extorting different store owners, including cutting the fingers of a butcher who didn't pay up his monthly dues. His two uncles, Andrea and Marco were also involved in the Mafia, running their own crews, sometimes even serving as an errand boy for him during his summers out of school as a teenager. Growing up, Dino looked up to these men, thinking this was the way to be a man, the way to live life.

Dino knew he had to change. With such a risk of that planned hit causing an all-out war between the families, he knew he'd be in the crossfire. For a man that had been around crime, he couldn't imagine having to possibly end the life of another person. And now, he had a chance to end this cycle and start anew. Agent Coutinho came in and sat down. "Alright Dino, this is what I'm going to offer you: We'll give you protection, as we hope to have you testify against the people in your crime family. In exchange for this, we'll put you in witness protection, likely move you, your wife and kids to Sudilia. What do you say about the offer?"

Dino sat back and thought it out. His wife had been asking him to leave this crew, leave the life of crime he was so accustomed to. They always thought of moving to a different country. There was always somewhere nice like Kelssek, Drawkland too. Maybe even Tumbra as well. But Sudilia wouldn't be a bad choice. May be cold, snows like crazy unlike HUElavia. But he thought his wife and kids can adjust. The fact that English was one of the two languages there made it easy for him to adjust to the language. While it would've been nice if he had the chance to discuss it further with his wife, he knew he had to get them out of harms way. "...I accept your offer." "Good, we'll start preparing the things to give you info to prepare you and your loved ones to move once you testify in court."

To be continued...

by **Recuecn** » Sun Jan 12, 2025 9:23 pm

Ägidius Heissler was already looking ahead to Les Licornes' game against Ko-oren. He had rewatched the footage of the two teams' first encounter what must have been a hundred times already since they'd played in the first half of qualifying. He had watched the tapes with the rest of his (interim) coaching staff and brightest players, searching for any mistakes Reçueçn had made that they could correct, or any mistakes Ko-oren had made that they might be able to capitalize on.

Now he had the whole team gathered in a room in the training center with the lights turned down, and was projecting the video of the match onto a large whiteboard. He paused the film frequently to draw diagrams and notes on the board, outlining everything they'd been able to find so far. Heissler was sure the team would play well, but trying to compete against a team like Ko-oren was a different story.

The match was going to be an essential one. Reçueçn was second in the group at the moment, but Valentine Z and Aleirave were hot on its heels. Just one loss would allow both of them to pull ahead. The team knew this, and although they had been working hard and were already tired, they were deeply focused on Heissler's instruction.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened. Light poured in through the entrance, washing out the image on the whiteboard and blinding the players who turned to get a view of the new arrivals. A clamor of groans sounded out. Heissler paused the video. In the doorway stood silhouetted one of Heissler's bosses: FNRF representative, Michèle Simon. Behind her stood a slim, small man none of the players recognized. He hung back, quiet and respectful of Simon's authority, but as the players' eyes adjusted to the light streaming in from the doorway, they could see that his shoulders were tense and his face wore the expression of a caged tiger--he was held back, but waiting to strike.

"My apologies for the interruption," began Madame Simon. "I know you must be tired of the federation interfering as you're trying to train, but I hope this will be one of the last times. Monsieur Heissler, if I could speak with you in private for a moment, please?"

The coach knew he was outranked. He pointed to the still frame of the game displayed on the whiteboard. "This turnover was avoidable. I'll be right back, but while I'm gone, discuss how we could have played this differently." He followed Michèle out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

The players began to turn their attention to discussing the question their coach had given them, but the other man from the FNRF cleared his throat. He had stepped into the room as Ägidius and Michèle had left, and now he took command of the class.

"As you know, the federation is expecting you to qualify for a major tournament at the end of this campaign... preferably the World Cup. After holding second place with just four games left to play, failing to make the cut now will be deeply disappointing to the nation... and as I mentioned, to the federation. Now I know you have your most important remaining match approaching and that you are training for that moment. But I have faith you can beat Aleirave again."

The players looked at each other. Not Ko-oren? Aleirave? That was not what Heissler had been emphasizing at all!

Yves (for it was indeed Yves Sabatier, the federation staffer now-turned pawn of Michèle Simon) seemed not to notice the team's consternation. He continued apace. "There will be games more important than these qualifying matches. Those are, of course, your games in the World Cup... or, God forbid, the Cup of Harmony. As you play your qualifying games, the whole nation is watching. But when you play in the World Cup, the whole multiverse will be watching. Doing as well as possible in the World Cup and representing Reçueçn proudly on that stage is the ultimate goal of the FNRF."

Again, the players shared glances that betrayed their misgivings. None of this was what their coach had said. Was the federation moving the goalpoasts at this point in the competition?

Again, Yves ignored them and continued. "For this reason, Madame Simon (with my help), has introduced a resolution to the federation's executive board committing to finalizing a new hire as the ÉNRF's head manager by the start of the World Cup. This resolution passed just minutes ago in a board meeting, and we rushed straight here because we want to give you as much time as possible to prepare. The World Cup is only weeks away now, and we know that changing coaches so soon before may be a difficult transition. Therefore we are trying to give you as much of a headstart as possible. Since Monsieur Heissler will not be coaching you during the tournament, we think it best that he no longer coaches you now. This will give you the most time to adapt to someone new." Yves gestured to the image of the game against Ko-oren, still projected onto the screen. "This will be your last training session with him."

There was an immediate outcry. Players jumped to their feet. Gerauld Firaut held Franky Adams back, knowing his likelihood to do something foolish. Quirino Lucian, a towering man, got up and stood threateningly in Yves' face.

"You can't get rid of him!" yelled Emanuele Cutrona. "He's the only thing holding this team together!"

"If this team gets to the World Cup," mutter Laurent Lapix under his breath, "It will be despite the FNRF, not thanks to it."

Yves took a step back, but he remained calm and smugly self-assured. Perhaps he had expected this reaction. "For the next four games, candidates from the federation's shortlist will be rotating as interim manager. Based on their performances, we will select one of them as head manager before the World Cup begins. Giusto Palermo will be here tomorrow to prepare you for your game against Aleirave."

The outcry had died down, and the players settled into shocked silence. The door reopened and Heissler and Simon re-entered. Simon stood in the doorway and looked at the team. Heissler, with an inscrutable look on his face, made his way to the whiteboard and collected some of his things he had left at the front of the room. He bowed to the players.

"I have worked with you for a long time, and I am proud of my career," he said. His voice seemed to catch on something. "Je suis content de l'avoir passé avec vous."

I am happy to have spent it with you.

Without another word, he once more made his way to the exit, and left.

"You explained everything to them?" Michèle asked Yves.

"Oui Madame," said Yves. "The new régime starts tomorrow."

by **The 14 Stars** » Mon Jan 13, 2025 3:06 am

Starsian chase

As the time runs out to catch up its clear, wins are truly needed if the Starsian Wolves want to be anything relevant in this cycle and with the quality of our team on the board that is certainly still within reach.
With Lacivea as next opponent the Starsian team knows that they gotta watch out, last time they took it too easy and things ended in a draw which they had never wanted so this time it was important to win this game at all cost to not drop points.
After this game HUElavia would be their opponent which they knew would be tough, sure big wins were nice but against a top team such as them it wouldnt be such a scoring fest like the other games had previously been and they knew that very well.

Against Lacivea the usual starting eleven were fielded by coach Walcott, and while she wasnt by any means under pressure a failure to reach the playoffs would be very unncessary and put even more pressure on the Campionato Esportiva later.
So she had everything to gain by getting good results against a minor team such as Lacivea who surprisingly managed to scramble a few points together in a group that all in all was not exactly the strongest around.

As both teams kicked off the game it was the start of a very boring game where both teams played careful as neither of them wanted to make a mistake by any means as it potentially could cost them dearly if they did.
Our Starsian Wolves had the upper hand when it came to possesion and had a dominance in the game, there was more experience and more calmth on our side but also care as the team had already misjudged Lacivea once and it wouldnt happen again.
By the time we neared half time it was still pretty much the same a few chances here and there but Lacivea rarely got past the defense and Emily Davis as always was having a very good game as goalkeeper having the years of experience needed.
One yellow card got given to Eva Weber for a rough tackle on one of the wingers and while it wasnt fully intentional it was a dangerous play and could have resulted in an injury worse then currently had been the case.
As Halftime was called both teams went to the dressing room and discussed the preformance which for the Starsians consisted pretty much of hold the ground and counter when possible but most importantly dont make any mistakes by any means, there was no room for mistake and no room for error when it came to this game that they had to win.
Eva Weber was substituted out in favor of Grace Edwards, mostly because of the yellow card and Walcott didnt wanna take risks and Edwards always had been a starter before so she knew the expectations and to handle the pressure well.

In the second half the game continued in the same flow back and forth however the attacking spirit of the Starsians awakened more and more and it was visible that Lacivea was a promising team but not yet made for the long run.
Longer the second half went on the more dominant the Wolves became until in the 78th minute it was Paula Nuñez who scored the freeing goal everyone had longed so much for showcasing her skill once more with a clinical finish to become the matchwinner of the game.
Sure Lacivea tried their best and they had potential but right now they just werent on level with us, last match might have been luck or an off day aswell as this younger generation of Starsians right now finds their way more and more.

Matchday 10 clash with HUElavia

At last the day of the game against HUElavia was here, a clash of two strong teams with our opponents belonging to the best of the world where we neared the top 50 but still had a way to go if we really wanted to be strong.
As always the usual starting eleven was fielded with the exception of Selena Corson, today coach Walcott had chosen for Joy Sol instead believing that in such a key position someone with more experience this time could do more where Corson had yet to learn.
This turned out to be a very good idea because even when HUElavia took the lead early on the equalizer was quickly made in the 22th minute by young rookie player Kimora Frazier with a brilliant shot from long distance.
Here too was a diffrence in playing clear, there was a very big gap between HUElavia and us and we did our best to keep up which also gained us alot as we were able to defend well and reach the end of the first half with an equal score.

During halftime coach walcott decided to take out Layla Raharinaivo in favor of Matthias Weber and the tactic would be to have him switch positions sometimes with his sister Eva Weber in defense as Eva often functioned as wingback.
When Eva would go forward to assist in the attack Matthias would take her spot in defense, this also would be the first ever time that both siblings would be on the field together in the national team and the first time siblings at all did such a feat.
This was historical and in the second half it turned out to work aswell and Eva Weber and Kimora Frazier became a deadly duo on the right side that was nearly unstoppable and in the 65th minute an assist from Weber resulted in a goal for Joy Sol after the ball that had been intended for striker Nuñez was headed away by a defender as Sol from large distance placed it in the far corner out of reach for the goalkeeper.
Sadly though it was not to last as HUElavia in 84th mintue scored the equalizer which the Starsians never recovered from, it was a draw that we played but against a team stronger then ourselves a draw counts as a win too.

Kira Blade commented after the game: ''I'm really impressed by the team today, despite some being young they stood up to the challenge and face it head on, thats the kind of spirit we want in our team and it makes me proud to be a part of it still.
They have proven today they can play against the best teams, im not saying we are there yet but i can tell you that the next generation will be just as good or perhaps even better then the one i played in, we aim for atleast 3rd place but Zenic isnt out of reach and if we can take 2nd sport from them aswell we ofcourse will because we want to reach the world cup.''

by **Indusse** » Mon Jan 13, 2025 5:19 am

Hind Tribune
Long Way to Go

By Subrato Shahla

Indusse’s World Cup 98 qualifying campaign has been pretty hard for the team and its fans. With 10 matches already done, the team sits in fourth position and is way far from qualifying. The fifth match in the campaign started on a sour note with a 2-1 loss to Elmyia. Indusse’s captain, Antonio Mersias, gave them the lead early on, but Elmyia quickly responded with two goals, leaving Indusse with no points from their opening match. Newman was visibly frustrated, saying, "We played well in the first half, but we couldn’t hold onto the lead. We need to be more focused at the back."

In their next match, a 1-1 draw with West Vdara was a slightly better result, but Indusse still couldn’t manage to take all three points. West Vdara took the lead with a goal from their best, but Rahul B Kumar equalized in the 72nd minute. Newman was happy with the fight his team showed, especially after going behind, but acknowledged, "It’s still two points dropped. We need to be more perfect in front of goal." Things took another turn for the worse in their seventh match when Indusse lost 2-1 to Archalit. Archalit who is way below Indusse in the rankings, gave a huge blow to the team and its fans. Despite having more possession, they were defeated by two goals, and Grundjee's second-half strike wasn’t enough to score a point. "Our defense was not good enough today," Mersias said after the match. "We need to tighten up and stop giving away goals so easily."

The next match was perhaps the toughest as the fans didnt expect more than a defeat, as they faced the group leaders, West Barack and East Obama. Despite a solid effort, Indusse lost 2-1. A stunning free-kick from Djetson Hasle was the highlight for Indusse, but two goals from Obama’s strong and efficient players were enough to seal the win for the table toppers. "West Barack and East Obama have been doing extraordinary this campaign," Newman said. "We played well but couldn’t quite get the result we needed. We have to learn from these matches."

However, Indusse found some redemption in their nineth match, a dominant 4-0 victory over Dremotia. The win was a much-needed boost, with goals from Mersias, Rahul, Bechun Butea, and Grundjee. The performance was strong, and the team management was pleased with the result. "This is what we needed," the fans said. "We were solid at the back and focused going forward. We’ve shown we can perform at higher level." Indusse followed up with another positive result, a 4-2 win against Sudilia. It was a thrilling match, with goals from Mersias, Butea, and substitute Juan Jane, and the team held on despite Sudilia’s attempts to fight back. Mersias praised his colleagyes for their perfomance. "We scored some great goals, and I’m happy with the way we controlled the match after going ahead."

After matchday 10, Indusse is still in contention for a World Cup spot, sitting in 4th place, just four points behind second-placed Elmyia. The road ahead will be challenging, but the team’s recent performances, especially the wins over Dremotia and Sudilia, show that they have the potential to push for qualification. Fans have had mixed reactions, with many impressed by the team’s attacking play but frustrated by their inability to win key matches. One fan commented, "We’ve shown we can compete with many, but we need to be more consistent. If we can turn these close games into wins, we’ll be in a good position." Indussean Legend Baskar Kumar made his first comment on the campaign where he said "There’s a long way to go, and we’ll keep fighting. We know what we need to improve, and we’ll keep working hard in training."

by **Juvencus** » Mon Jan 13, 2025 6:51 am

Il Scudelliano is under new management, one that presents the news about la squadra as it should instead of being a third party newspaper that supports the team only when it wants, and will remain that way until further notice

NEITHER LACK OF PEOPLE NOR STORMY CONDITIONS PREVENT LA SQUADRA FROM WINNING(OR COMPLAINING) AS THEY REGAIN TOP SPOT IN THE GROUP

New Crywyzyxycynya was proven to be no obstacle for Juvencus as the empty pitch made an important game seem like a training session. Joao Peres, a standout for the team throught the qualifiers was pivotal in the team's advances being a troublemaker throught the entire game from the left side of the pitch, giving the position a brand new liveliness as well as a revolutionisation that was unexpected to say the least. Taking a leading role in the game, he would score a direct free-kick as well as assist Ceferino Audiol in the 77th and 88th minutes to take the three points and move along to the next test in Vaishnavaria.

As a sidenote, the lack of people inside the stadium did not equate to people not being gathered right outside the stadium to show support for the team. After the 3rd goal by Audiol, a series of fireworks lit the Stade Coloniale which almost prevented the match from being continued. Thankfully, the referee was lenient and allowed the match to finish in la squadra's favor, although there will be severe fines added on top of the already existing expenses.

Vaishnavaria, despite a strong showing in qualifiers has found its kryptonite among the ranks of la squadra. Neither rain nor heat could stop gli attaccanti from grabbing the three points out of a rising side from the Indies and rainfall poured down plenty during the matchday. At times, the ball would not even bounce right and that is what gave Nathaniel Grant the chance to poach the ball into the net after a sloppy save by Imeri and give Vaishnavaria the lead, albeit temporarily.

Caicedo Marroqui would determine the course of the game as yet another incredible volley would be important in la squadra's efforts, providing the equaliser. The speed of Bevilacqua would be crucial in turning the table around with a sound strike making a statue out of Marcilo and freezing whatever chants would echo throught the stadium, which for the record is nameless, but we assume it should go along the lines of We-Have-Really-Terrible-Weather-Conditions Stadium. The nail in the coffin would be delivered by none other than Gilberto Soares, with a finesse shot with his weak left foot hitting the right side of the bar before going in.

Considering Pasarga's mishap against our staunch rivals Oberour ar Moro have given the race for the top of the group a new taste, while la Squadra is hosting Adab before heading to Yakk in two extremely important matches, as every matchday from now onward is considered a final, at least by the fanbase. Complaints about the weather conditions of the stadium as well as the importance of the matches were not absent in Gaetan's press conferences, expressing faith for the team's abilities, perhaps too much of it.

by **Katzeburg** » Mon Jan 13, 2025 7:13 am

The History of the Nervous Kitten, Chapter 15 - Corner Taken Quickly

A many great organisations have graced the halls of the Nervous Kitten, from the revolutionary group which led to the birth of our nation, to a myriad of speed dating clubs, groups of soldiers returned from the horrors of war, or even sporting clubs keen to see themselves come out on top above all challengers. But one which may have much more of a history to write is the organisation which was founded just a few years ago, one which seems to be growing in influence and support by the day, despite the many dysfunctions and controversies which have already befallen the group. Yet it is one which carries the flag of the nation on the international stage more than almost anything else (Katzeburgian heroics in chess aside).

The Katzeburg Football Federation has seen significant trouble over its short lifespan, as despite on-field performances and a national team punching slightly above its weight during its first World Cup campaign, the body saw its first ever chairman resign in disgrace mid-way through the cycle after being caught trying to corrupt the system to throw off its domestic rival, which had been formed slightly on further down the road at the Black Cat Inn some time earlier.

Full disclosure - I am not a fan of football and thus my own personal knowledge of this recent event in Katzeburgian history has been rather lacklustre. But this story is about how all this wheeling and dealing got started. A group of people keen to tap into growing government funds and how to exploit it as much as possible without the wheels falling off entirely.

Sport as a whole in Katzeburg is something which is growing at an ever-encouraging rate, from the boom in chess found spewing from the isle of Dragoonspiel, to the proposed race-course in Waldstein looking to bring Katzeburg to the international race stage, football has been at the heart of this growth. You don’t need to look far to see how the national side has made an impact in galvanising this young nation, especially in Katzestadt and the north of the nation - flags fly proudly on matchdays and kids run up and down the streets kicking balls and pretending to be national heroes like Drake Wruck, Elmer Spears, and Ry Whinery, and pubs are routinely packed out to see the Blue Cats take to the field.

But this is a recent phenomenon - only brought on by the side’s run to the Quarterfinals of the Cup of Harmony and Campionato Esportiva in their debut campaigns and a growing interest in the domestic game - just two years ago football was just the stuff of workplace kickabouts, done as a way to pass time before the next logging or iron shipment came in. But it was no surprise that a group would work to formalise the sport at a national level and that group was spearheaded by two men - one who chooses to remain in the shadows, working from the background, and another who proudly stuck his head above the parapet no matter the reputational cost. These two men are two of the founders of the Katzeburg Football Federation - Former MP for Wolfenholm North Brendan Kerr, and the KFF’s head of media Marvin Donaldson.

By all accounts, and after speaking to many local constituents in Kerr’s seat, the MP was a fine pick and someone who was passionate about what he chose to get involved in. Kerr regularly fought for his people in parliament, but failed to reduce the high rates of poverty in the deprived seat, often choosing to exert his influence to divert funding and support away from his seat while giving the impression of passionate support. So the MP’s growing interest in the sport was seen as encouraging amongst grassroots supporters, excited to see someone who has a say in the growth of the country take a liking to football. And it was this interest which led to Kerr’s staff arranging an ‘expression of interest’ meeting at the Nervous Kitten to see if there would be enough support in the nation’s capital to form a footballing federation with a view of getting a national team into competitions like the World Cup.

On this fateful night in the Nervous Kitten, the grand entry hall of the pub was packed with interested onlookers and representatives from a range of Katzestadt institutions. Of particular note was the arrival of Andrew Brachentauer, the eccentric owner of local media outlet The Katzestadt Times. Brachentauer was acutely aware that a national team would have huge potential for growth with the right media support behind it, support he could easily bring through his media empire.

As Kerr and his office staff sat down to begin the meeting, which was run off an old beer hall table shuffled to the front of the room and allowing many seats to fill the space between the table and the bar, a second figure shuffled his way into the room and grabbed a seat towards the back. This would be Donaldson, at the time the chief spin doctor for the Katzeburg National Party, one of the larger parties in the Katzeburgian Parliament but one that rarely found itself in any real power-making positions. Donaldson is a figure feared by many as the reaper operating from the shadows, someone who gets in and under the skin of the groups he works with, collating every skeleton in the closet and twisting perceptions no matter how hard the sell. A fierce fighter if you are on the same side, Donaldson was terror for anyone who goes up against him.

The meeting was not one full of dramatic firefights and verbal barrages flowing back and forth, but in the history of the Nervous Kitten, one with a lot more grace and decorum than the average group meeting. Kerr kicked off by outlining his grand vision for the federation.

“I see this federation as the great pillar on which our nation can extend onto the international stage in style; a federation enshrining the quality of our nation while highlighting the expertise and skill of our star sportsmen and women. The Katzeburg Football Federation will be this foundation, and those of you in this room tonight have joined something special which will go down in national history.”

- Brendan Kerr, speech in the Nervous Kitten, 19 AK (After Katzeburg).

After the MP’s rousing 16 minute speech, the minutiae of the meeting got underway, as discussions laboured on about the necessary needs any organisation must have in place to be functional in modern Katzeburg - funding, backing, and media support. The first two were rather easily boxed off - Kerr announced governmental support for a federation had been approved earlier that week in a committee meeting, with a large checkbook to help get the federation off the ground and support a national team for international competition entry. Rather ambitious goals were laid out for the federation - with aims of a World Cup qualification before the 100th edition and an appearance in a regional final within the nation’s first five cycles - with the government committing to additional funding support should these goals be achieved ahead of time.

But as the conversation turned to how this federation would operate with the media, the mood started to swirl away from the positivity and optimism once gracing the halls of the Nervous Kitten. Brachentauer would open the discussion by highlighting his role as owner of the Katzestadt Times and how he could guarantee reception in the nation’s papers and media outlets, not just his own, by proposing transparent access to players and staff for any outlet which approaches the federation over the coming years.

“Transparency is a huge tenant of successful collaboration and communication - to cut off the media is to cut off public interest and success.”

- Andrew Brachentauer, the Nervous Kitten proposal, 19 AK.

But it was after Brachentauer finished tabling his proposal for a media plan for the federation that Donaldson stood up and took to the floor, any sense of politeness and collaboration thrown to the side almost immediately. Donaldson would aggressively attack the proposal from the media tycoon, arguing the federation can only operate with ‘brains’ at the table, a group of senior leadership who are in control of the messaging and decides what information goes out and when.

It was this method, Donaldson argued, that would allow interest in the team and federation to remain high and more importantly, ensure all information was accurate and consistent across communications. Donaldson was brutal in his assessment, labelling the proposal as ‘the equivalent of asking a barely potty-trained four-year-old to teach you how to wipe your ass’ and something which would ‘stall any hope of progress this nation would have on an international stage’ for years to come.

“Transparency is a huge tenant of successfully fucking up your messaging and communication - to cut off the media is to give ourselves fucking control of the public and its interest.”

- Marvin Donaldson, the Nervous Kitten rebuttal, 19 AK.

To many in the room expecting a rational conversation, Donaldson’s attack took many by surprise. No-one really knows the full reasoning behind this move - many allege Donaldson acted swiftly due to a long-standing feud between the two stretching back to when Donaldson worked at the Katzestadt Times as a young journalist, while others think Donaldson was simply positioning himself to get off the sinking KNP ship and pivot into something where he could make more of an impact than national small-scale politics.

But the reasoning didn’t matter - after polling the room, Donaldson’s motion was in (but by a margin contemporary historians allege was due to the sheer fear radiating from the crowd after seeing the display from the sweary Katzeburgian) and the Katzestadt Times owner was out of luck, boxed off from the federation he was keen to carry forward. Disillusioned and now on the outside looking in, Brachentauer leave in a huff, eventually popping back up a few weeks later in another gathering of interested parties looking to profit off the growing interest in the sport - forming the Katzeburgian National League and firing the gun on a long-standing period of animosity between the two groups which remains in place wrestling for power to this day.

Milchama 1 - 0 Katzeburg
Well 88’

Possession - 61% // 39%
Shots on Target - 5 // 3
Shots - 8 // 7
Fouls - 22 // 17

1 Whinery, 2 Howland, 3 Knepp, 4 Clarkson, 5 Colbert (Morton 65’), 6 Plank, 7 Spears, 8 Horsfall (Eason 65’), 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck (Niles 65’), 11 Field

Player of the Match - Well (MIL)

Katzeburg 1 - 1 Abanhfleft
Wruck 22’ // Vitagliano 71’

Possession - 52% // 48%
Shots on Target - 5 // 5
Shots - 8 // 9
Fouls - 10 // 14

1 Whinery, 2 Howland, 15 Herman, 4 Clarkson, 5 Colbert (Terry 65’), 6 Plank, 7 Spears, 8 Horsfall (Moores 65’), 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck (Marsh 65’), 11 Field

Player of the Match - Vitagliano (AFT)

World Cup hopes take a huge cut as Katzeburg slips up

A horrendous slippage from Katzeburg defender Deena Knepp was the headline out of Milchama as the Blue Cats suffered a terrible window which has put their hopes of making a maiden World Cup on the brink.

The side entered the window in second place after picking up six points at home against Cardenao and Omerica, but the run of form would not last past matchday nine, with Becka Haberkorn’s side falling to a 1-0 defeat away against Milchama. The Blue Cats would start out the brighter side, coming dangerously close to taking the lead just 15 minutes in through a Drake Wruck header, only for the experienced forward to nod his effort just wide of the right hand post, but it would be Milchama with the best chance of the opening half, as their striker Well managed to round Katzeburg keeper and captain Ry Whinery thanks to a scintillating through ball. However, Well would fail to get onto the scoresheet with the chance, sending his simple effort wide of the post.

Neither side would manage to get consistent rhythm in their play, with a regular barrage of fouls from both sides seeing play start and stop more often than a Katzestadt tram. But it would be the second half in which the game would rapidly change, with both managers encouraging their teams to play more free-flowing in an attempt to nab a result. Ultimately, this would pay off for the hosts in the unluckiest of ways for the visiting Katzeburgians - Deena Knepp, the established centre-back who has more than 40 caps to her name, would slip on the Milchamian surface as she attempted to play a simple pass across the backline to Erik Clarkson. Well would jump on the loose ball and rocket up the pitch, taking Whinery by surprise and not missing his chance a second time, looping the ball around Whinery’s left and into the back of the net to give Milchama the lead with just a handful of minutes remaining.

Katzeburg would push aggressively in search of a late equalizer, but failed to break through the Milchama defence, dropping a huge three points which saw Omerica move level on points with the Blue Cats. The heartbreaking manner of defeat would need to be swiftly moved past as the side hosted Abanhfleft for matchday 10 in front of a capacity crowd at the Katzestadt Arena, with a win likely to help the side push forward in the race for a top two spot and automatic qualification. Wruck knew the score and what would be at stake for the hosts and would fire Katzeburg into the lead after just 22 minutes, capping off a clever piece of passing play between the forward and Serena Plank down the left flank before firing a rocket of a shot past Inocencia Pendergraft in goals.

The travelling Abanhfleft side however, would not quit the game so easily, with possession swinging back and forth in a tight battle played out in the midfield, with minimal chances popping up at either end after the opener. Wruck would come close to a second on the stroke of half-time with a long-range volley, while Abanhfleft’s Lily Natividad would almost close the game up at the 60 minute mark with a bullet header just over the crossbar. But, in a move now being criticised by Katzeburgian pundits, Haberkorn opted to pull off two of the side’s most creative players during the match - Wruck and Vera Horsfall - in favour of the youth of Clay Marsh and Petra Moores. While in previous games, this injection of youth would push the side forward, the reaction was very much the opposite - with both subs to blame as Abanhfleft pulled level in the 71st minute.

Marsh would kick off the play with a poor cross into the box, Rose Bane picking up the loose ball for the visitors and finding Whitney Zilahi on the right hand flank. Moores would attempt to shut down the midfielder, only to be completely left in the dust by the 30-year-old, who was able to cut down the line and fire off a quick pass to Josefine Vitagliano on the edge of the Katzeburg box. The CAM would make no mistake of the chance, firing a curling effort past Whinery and into the top left corner to pull the scores level.

Kazteburg would fail to find a way through to retake the lead in the dying moments, although a late cross in from Marsh almost resulted in grandstand finish, only for Lloyd Field to be unable to get a boot to the loose ball. The draw thankfully was just enough to keep the Blue Cats in the automatic qualification spots, but with Milchama picking up a win, the group remains tight as ever - with just three points separating Katzeburg in second from Eraman in sixth.

Manager Becka Haberkorn said the side has no-one to blame for slipping off the pace but themselves, albeit with two results in very difficult circumstances.

“At the end of the day, the team needed to see both games out, and we failed to do that,” Haberkorn said.

“It’s very disappointing dropping what could have easily been five extra points and really thrown us into contention to secure an automatic spot, but there are still some crunch games ahead and the team showed great resilience against two sides both higher ranked than us to pick up at least something from our game against Abanhfleft. The group is not done yet, not by a long way, and these next two games are vital as to where we will end up in the group - we’re lucky to be in second so far, but we need to come through these next two games showing why we deserve to be in the World Cup.”

Haberkorn has opted to remain faithful to the squad which laboured to a point against Abanhfleft for the penultimate window, naming an unchanged squad for two of Katzeburg’s biggest games in their young history - an away trip to New Zhengguo, who dispatched leaders Huayramarca on MD9, and a home game against an Eraman side still in the mix for qualification.

+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+
| Roster | Position | Player            | Age | Gender | Nation | Club                 | League Apps | League Goals | National Apps | National Goals |
+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+
| 1      | GK       | Ry Whinery        | 27  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 0            | 46            | 0              |
| 2      | D        | Katharine Howland | 19  | F      | KAT    | Barenwold FC         | 52          | 3            | 47            | 1              |
| 3      | D        | Deena Knepp       | 30  | F      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 8            | 45            | 1              |
| 4      | D        | Erik Clarkson     | 20  | M      | KAT    | Inverhaven City      | 52          | 4            | 43            | 0              |
| 5      | D        | Faithe Colbert    | 29  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 5            | 47            | 1              |
| 6      | M        | Serena Plank      | 18  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 15           | 48            | 8              |
| 7      | M        | Elmer Spears      | 18  | M      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 11           | 44            | 2              |
| 8      | M        | Vera Horsfall     | 31  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 15           | 47            | 5              |
| 9      | M        | Meriel Arkwright  | 26  | F      | KAT    | Inverhaven City      | 52          | 12           | 40            | 3              |
| 10     | F        | Drake Wruck       | 32  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 35           | 48            | 41             |
| 11     | F        | Lloyd Field       | 25  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 34           | 17            | 6              |
| 12     | GK       | Jim Comstock      | 21  | M      | KAT    | Refeld FC            | 52          | 1            | 1             | 0              |
| 13     | D        | Betsy Terry       | 22  | F      | KAT    | Inverhaven Ironworks | 52          | 1            | 4             | 0              |
| 29     | D        | Monday Mynatt     | 19  | M      | KAT    | Wolfenholm United    | 52          | 4            | 2             | 0              |
| 15     | D        | Laurence Herman   | 22  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 4            | 7             | 0              |
| 16     | M        | Petra Moores      | 18  | F      | KAT    | Shorham FC           | 52          | 11           | 14            | 0              |
| 17     | M        | Desiree Lynton    | 17  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 5            | 3             | 0              |
| 18     | M        | Sydnei Eason      | 22  | F      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 8            | 3             | 0              |
| 19     | F        | Lambert Niles     | 31  | M      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 31           | 39            | 16             |
| 38     | F        | Leith Coburn      | 19  | F      | KAT    | Inverhaven Ironworks | 52          | 19           | 1             | 1              |
| 21     | F        | Brigitte Ball     | 21  | F      | KAT    | Penntop FC           | 52          | 25           | 4             | 2              |
| 22     | GK       | Beauden Moore     | 17  | M      | KAT    | VV Szbedansk (KNZ)   | 0           | 0            | 1             | 0              |
| 27     | D        | Elicia Morton     | 20  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 6            | 14            | 0              |
| 32     | M        | Joachim Newell    | 23  | M      | KAT    | Inverhaven Ironworks | 52          | 3            | 0             | 0              |
| 37     | F        | Clay Marsh        | 18  | M      | KAT    | Axmund United        | 52          | 22           | 14            | 7              |
+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+

by **Grand Exultia** » Mon Jan 13, 2025 7:21 am

Another pair of matchdays and more interesting results. On their day Grand Exultia look like they can compete with the best of them, bold statement I know but I’m also bias so deal with it, and then they don’t seem to turn up when you expect them to more than anything. This pair of matches saw us first face off against Aleirave, a team that we beat in the home fixture in a bit of an upset, and then return home to face Ko-oren. The hardest pairing of games we have faced this competition and will have to face, with these being the two highest ranked teams in the group.

Travelling to Lahaira, many Exultians unable to get tickets to see the match due to the extremely limited capacity but thankfully the hosts had set up a couple of spectator parks to allow the Exultians to enjoy the island lifestyle and support the national team. After a shock win at home, where we beat the Seagulls 3-2 in part thanks to a defensive mishap and a well finished penalty, going away to face that same opposition must feel weird for the players, they’ve proven this team can bleed and are not invincible but they have the home advantage and it is no small gap between the rankings so you would forgive the players their confusion. A couple of drastic changes to the lineup from Apollinaris sees Elenion finally forced to relinquish the gloves to his understudy James giving the Utopian Wanderer his first national start, Thoth-manon is replaced by Underhill the now oldest player to start a game for the Gyrinxes.

As it was the Exultians stuck to their training and ethos and came out playing their trademark attacking style, much the same as the islanders, so it was a very exciting first half with end-to-end football, moments of flash brilliance and a true exhibition of skill. The first notable piece of skill would come from LIFEVANEKA as they react first to a loose ball, after a half-hearted headed clearance from Steiner, taking one touch to control it another to move it out from under their feet and look to place the ball into the far top corner, an impressive effort equally met by James as they leap full stretch and manage to tip the ball onto the bar and back out for a corner, a good confidence booster for the debutant. It was the Seagulls who would draw first blood with a well worked attack using some first time passing and movement to pull apart the Exultious defence as a quick lapse in judgement sees Daskruger and Grosslaufer both go for the same ball and get nowhere near it before NOSELELA threads a ball into the path of VESHCHIK who calmly slots the ball under James as they attempt to cut the angle. A moment of weakness would see the Exultious heads drop as the dream of qualifying for the world cup proper starts to seem a distant prospect from the delirious viewpoint after the Baptism of Fire success. The onslaught would begin as the Seagulls, clearly sensing blood, would pepper the Exultian goal putting James to the test really forcing him to earn his corn. It would be thanks to the near superhuman performance of James that would see the Exultians only down by one at half time following an impressive triple save as the corner in from Efineha TESUNA'E would meet the head of Tefei'o TESUNA'E, parried by James as the ball fell to the feet of TYONKO who will be ruing not getting more contact on their effort as it gave James enough time to scramble across getting a hand to the ball and then as HO'UMINALU looked to bury the semi-loose ball James would get a strong enough hand behind it to absorb the impact and smother the ball within his midriff.

Oh to be a fly on the wall at this competition, the Exultians pulling off an impressive result early on only to then squander such a start and now languish somewhere below the expectations but it has always been the case that Apollinaris has made some form of change or impassioned speech to rally their charges and produce a response. 1-0 down to the second highest ranked team in the group is not an unlikely place to be but you would like to think these Exultians are hungry to exceed expectations and once again Apollinaris seems to have fuelled this hunger as the Gyrinxes came back out for the second half with a spring in their step. It would come about after the game that in fact it was captain Brambleberry who would call out those who were not pulling their weight and the others who let their heads go down and checked out of the game mentally, with supposedly some more graphic vocabulary utilised.

Talk about leading from the front as the players come out ready for a fight and the first phase of play would see Brambleberry collect the ball in the middle of the park and proceed to dribble around every player as if they were just a cone on the training field, a graceful symphony of touches as the ball is smoothly rolled one foot to the other, dancing amongst defenders who seemingly tower above them then bursting forth in a crescendo to face down the keeper in a 1 on 1 and deftly chip the ball over the head and arms of RUKIPIATO. The equaliser followed by a more sustained attacking pressure from the Exultians as they looked to utilise the momentum gained by their prodigious captain but a lack of killer passing in the final third stymied any dangerous attempts at goal only testing the keeper from range or with a couple of soft efforts half blocked by defenders that were easily collected by RUKIPIATO. That is until a moment of sheer brilliance from the substitute Scott, on for Vielener, as he dispossessed TYONKO at the half way line and fired goalbound, RUKIPIATO scrambled back into their box but could do nothing but follow the ball into the back of the net. Lauded by the crowd and teammates alike Scott basked in the adulation of a remarkably impressive finish and some very quick thinking. Leading again against Aleirave and Apollinaris dropped the line and looked to consolidate the lead attempting to see out another improbably victory. Short lived were the hopes as Aleirave responded by pushing forward, both wingers looking to get in behind the fullbacks and fire dangerous balls across the box, most were collected by James but more than a few flew dangerously close to the forwards but ended up harmlessly out the back of the box until VESHCHIK managed to stick his big toe out far enough to guide the ball intothe back of the Exultious net to equalise, this pressure would continue until the referee would bring a conclusion to proceedings.

The Exultians weathered the tropical storm and arguably came out on top given all the predictions predating this match up. More effective substitutions and exemplary leadership from young Brambelberry makes this a team not to be discounted heading into the crunch of this qualifying group.

Our second match day this time would see us host Ko-oren and even with the raucous support of the Gyrinx National Park not many were touting an Exultious victory and rightly so as we were seen off 1-0 once again being subjected to this ‘post-football’ rubbish that slowly bores your opponent into either defeat or just saps their will to live until they give up. An unchanged line-up from that which faced off against Aleirave saw James attempt to keep a cleansheet and he was doing alright, not that he was challenged much considering the Ko-orenites only totalled 4 shots in the whole game and I’m not even sure two of those were shots but a wayward cross and a larger than average clearance. I refuse to provide any plaudits to such a defensive minded which provides zero entertainment to the fans and completely negates the point of leisure ENTERTAINMENT such as watching and playing football.

Losing to what you would anticipate to be the group winner is not an embarrassing feat, especially only 1-0 and then holding the team who would’ve finished second on ranking to a draw provides a glimmer of hope to the Exultious fans who now look at our group standing, 6 points behind any chance of qualifying , and wonder which teams above us might we be able to snatch points against to close some gaps or maybe more likely what games will need to go our way to open up any chance of world cup glory, well glory by means of appearance because I don’t think we can be so delirious to think we could win the world cup, it’s not like we’re the English.

Report by Patsy Orchinaoff for the Independent Football

World Cup 98 | RP thread

[7]

Who is online