World Cup 98 | RP thread

[HUElavia]

Polar Islandstates 0–2 HUElavia
(Dias Canchon 38' (P), Schmidt 72')

HUElavia 2–1 Zenic
(Milano 5', 86' | Allegri Gentile 62' (P))
Estadio Nacional, Curumba, HUElavia

Confessione

A mobster's confession of his family's sins.

A man sits in a white-gray room, with a rueful expression on his face. He was Tallian-HUElavian, slightly tanned with dark hair, average height, stocky build, in his early 40s, but looked older than that, likely from his guilt and the stress of the life he had lived. He fidgeted in his chair, wondering if this was the right choice he made. He'd done some terrible choices in the past, but this one only gives him conflict, more than anything he had to choose in the past. He turns his gaze towards the camera on the corner, likely recording his every move, every sound he makes. He only stares back down to the table in front of him, stern and upset at what he is likely to do.

A knock hits the door, and enter a detective. A man in his mid 30s, Portuzian-HUElavian, tall, a gritty look to his face, serious in his demeanor. "Hello, I'm Agent Roberto Coutinho from the HBI. It's nice to finally speak with you." The Tallian-HUE man looked with scorn at the agent who was in front of him, who looked right back at him. "Well, if you're gonna give me that expression, do note what you have at stake here. We're giving you a chance to come clean with what crimes you've committed." "Oh really? Like what?" "We know about the stolen truck of those HDTVs. the racketeering of money laundering, the drug trafficking. We got enough proof to put you in for the rest of your life." The mobster looked shocked, sure that he had always made sure to cover his tracks, do many his crimes at the dead of night.

"But, we're giving you this chance to come clean. With this, you get put into witness protection. Your wife, your kids, and you. You have a chance to start anew. Break out of that life." The man down troubled. For months now, his wife implored him to leave the life of crime. His kids were beginning to wonder how he made the money for them to live comfortably. He could only hold them away from the truth for so long. He closed his eyes, pinched and rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out a big, frustrated sigh. "...Okay. I'll talk."

"Good. Now, please tell me your name." The man gave a stern look, replying "Dino Torelli. My name is Dino Torelli." "Very well. What family are you a part of?" Sighing once again, he Dino replies "...I am a Capo for the Torelli family." "Alright. To start off, we have noticed that the family has been making moves between their various 'business holdings.' What have they been planning?" Dino stays silent for a few moments before finally munstering the strength to give his response. "They want to expand territory not just in Canternico along the Romano district, but to other cities. They want to give 'protection' to various local stores they've eyed throughout the country." "Protection? You mean intimidation." Dino looks back with scorn, responding "...Might as well be."

"What else are they looking into?" "They want to expand overseas on 'The Golden Show'." "The Gentlemen's Club? Where are they looking to expand?" "They're mainly going for more major cities in here, but want to go into Sudilia. Specifically in the Tallian region of the country, likely the Franc and Angshire populations among their largest cities." "What do they intend to achieve in doing that?" "They want to have a monopoly on the gals and rake in the cash from it." Agent Coutinho wrote down in his notes the answers Dino was giving him so far. "What else can you tell me about their plans?"

Dino was conflicted to give out an important info he knew that was in the works, but he had concern for his crew. Even as a Capo, he still viewed his crew like a second family. Much like sons or nephews, he always made sure they'd be safe when conducting their work. He leaned back to look up at the fluorescent lights on top of him and the agent. "Do you have something else you're wanting to say?" Frustrated at thinking it over too much, it leaned forward, now ready to say what he wanted to get off his chest.

To Be Continued...

[Zenic]

"Are they really trying to do this during a major sports tournament again?"

"Yes, yes they are," Felipe confirmed, reading over the proposal that had arrived at the Emperor's desk earlier in the week. Premier General Brynhildur Marcela, the current Minister of Defense, had been working on a plan to expand the Empire's borders ever since she was promoted to Premier General a few years back. If Emperor Cuauhtémoc approved of the plan, it would be the first expansion for the Empire in the 'modern' era, close to 150 years in waiting.

"It has been two years since they presented some kind of proposal. If I remember correctly, the last one was a half baked thesis during World Cup 97. If they feel confident enough to show this to me again, let's give what they've prepared in the last two years a honesty review." The pair each opened their own copy of the proposal and spent the next two hours looking through it. "Based on this report, this expansion would be more of a 'test run': if it goes well, there would be plans for further expansion eastward or northbound. If it's messy, at least we get some additional land full of resources for the Empire," noted the Emperor. "Typical. A career military person less worried about maintaining international relationships and more focused on getting what they want. No real point in having this land if we're gonna get boycotted as a response."

"Agreed. Not much of a trading hub without any trade." The Emperor looked over the surveys done: resources, topographical, rough census, border. Acquiring the land would increase their border with the Gatchingerrak Union and New Ponyville. plus creating a whole new border with Vaugania. It would be a slightly mountainous region with a lake in the middle and several tributaries branching out of a major river that connected the lake to sea connecting the aforementioned nations. Clearly, a good source of fishing, timber, gemstones, fresh water, and tourism. According to the scouting reports, there are a few people from the surrounding nations living in the area but most of them appear to be doing so of their own accord.

"Of their own accord? So, they're mountain people living off of the land without regulations. That's gonna be a tall order. At best, you'll get an agreement to be left alone in a designated spot for them. At worse, it gets bloody and people start leaving in crutches or a body bag." Felipe winced, remembering what the history books said about the taking of what is now known as the Coohen peninsula. It was one of the bloodiest battles in Zenician history and altered the relationship between that region and the rest of the Empire since then. Avoiding the same fate for a region even further divorced from the rest of the Empire was crucial.

"So, what do you think? Are we going for it or is the risk too grand?," Consul Felipe asked the Emperor. "It's a small region so the upsides are a nice boost but not game changing. We're not really stepping on anyone's toes to get this land either. But I just have one nagging question that I need us to investigate." Felipe was a bit perplexed on what was bothering the Emperor about this move that Felipe had not accounted for. "And what would that be?"

"Why hasn't anyone else tried to claim this land before? And if they did, why did they fail?"

[StrayaRoos]

Unlike last time where the side struggled to get into gear early, the Emus have started fast this World Cup, not conceding a goal in their first two matches and picking up four points from those two games.

First up was Natkr away. That game was somewhat painful to watch for the neutral observer. The hosts didn’t get a shot away in the entire game. It was just constantly watching the ball go to Kerr, Kaiplo, Vidya, or legitimately anyone apart from Seyma, and the Emus racked up 25 shots to nil. The accuracy of 40% wasn’t the best, and probably the reason why the only goal of the game came in the 57th minute as Yasmeen Karmea headed in a Ella Vidya corner, making it 1-0, and as it turns out, scoring the winner.

The next match, away against Darkmania, was a bit of a surprise for the Emus. The Darkmanians were putting up a pretty good fight for a 105-place ranking gap. They held the Emus out for a draw, in a game where the hosts goal was constantly assaulted by the visitors and yet there was no breakthrough this time.

Next window, the Emus take on Baggieland at Pale International Stadium on Matchday 3, before visiting unranked Ralsalin on Matchday 4, in a window where 4 points is probably the most they can probably wish for.

---

A Slightly Unhelpful Guide to StrayaRoos - Politics
Part 1 - Intro
StrayaRoos’ political system contains three and a half levels: Federal, State, Municipal, and Local. These levels utilise various methods of Proportional representation to form at least one house of the legislature (of which there are 1 federal, 5 state, 17 municipal and 12 local), with 3 state legislative assemblies (lower houses) and 1 municipal assembly electing their members by Instant Runoff Voting, and the federal House of Representatives opting for a uniquely Roosian IRV Mixed Member Proportional system with a 2% or 1 electorate threshold. The systems used by the remaining legislatures are mostly STV-PR (1 state legislature, 16 municipal assemblies and all local assemblies), Roosian Preferential PR* (the federal senate, 3 state upper houses), and one state legislature is elected by Open List PR.

Elections take place annually on the second Saturday in June, but depending on the year, there could be between 2 and 5 elections an elector has to vote for. The President is elected for a 6 year term, renewable once, Governors, Senators and MPs are elected for 4 year terms, MLCs for three year terms, MLAs and State Representatives for two year terms, and Mayors, Administrators and Municipal/Local Assembly members for two year terms. The election calendar looks like this:

So the president, all MPs, half the senate, half the Legislative Councils, and all of the Legislative Assemblies are up for election this year (2034).

And naturally, any political system of this size needs parties. And in StrayaRoos, a multi-party system exists federally, with 7 parties holding seats in the 361-seat House of Representatives. These are:
- Labor, the major centre-left party, who’s held government since 2026, with 151 seats
- The National-Conservative Coalition, the major centre-right party (or parties), which is currently the official opposition, with 123 seats
- The Greens, the Environmentalist Party, which holds 31 seats
- The Democrats, the major centrist party, holding 21 seats
- The United StrayaRoos Party, a right-wing populist party, that holds 10 seats
- The Meyrani’ora or Indigenous Party, focused on protecting the heritage of Indigenous StrayaRoos, holding 8 seats
- The Gun Rights Association, which is almost solely reliant on vote splitting with NatCon to stay in Parliament, also with 8 seats
Traditionally, Labor can rely on the Greens and Meyrani’ora, while NatCon can rely on the USP and GRA in coalition negotiations, which are near-mandatory thanks to the MMP system in place. In these negotiations however, the Democrats are a bit of a loose cannon. When deciding who to side with, the Caucus holds a vote, where the option that receives the most votes is the official decision of the party. This has led to the Democrats being the only modern alliance-switcher party. There’s also various other minor parties that have representation on a State or Municipal level that contest federally, to no luck.


* will be explained in next window’s RP

[Kamijiro]

Excerpts from 治郎新聞 「Jirō Shimbun」, the largest weekly publication on the neutral island of Jirō.

Op-ed: Is the Miraisaki Press Sports-Washing?

It's well-known that Kamijiro is a nation with trouble at it's doorstep. The civil war rages on and brings with it nothing but death and destruction. Don't fall for the lies - both sides have repressed information and lied about their casualty totals. The once-peaceful St. Jerome countryside has gone from its lush green to a smoldering wreck of dirt, grime and blood. Entire villages along the border have been evaporated, the residents either taken captive or killed. Make no mistake, this war is nothing more than a vanity show for Kazumori. The Emperor seems clueless in how to stop the Prime Minister on this front. Emperor Kaminari is too young and unequipped to handle a man who can only be described as blood-thirsty. Although the major cities have not yet been hit, I am unconvinced that Miraisaki, St. Jerome and Chamonix make it out of this war with all of their metropolises intact.

So why is it that Kaminari only fielded questions regarding the football team at a time like this during his weekly media availability? It's simple: he and the press want to ignore the uncomfortable truth right in front of them. Kaminari's troops, the so-called 'Imperial Army,' are dying for a pointless cause. The dissolution of Parliament was a gaffe, to be sure. But we all know it was Kazumori who convinced him to do so. Further, we all know that Kaminari has the ability to dismiss the Prime Minister at any given point. But he won't, because he fears that the removal of the Prime Minister would potentially lead to the fall of the monarchy.

Which leads to the salient question. Is Miraisaki, the hub of Kamijiro's international press, in the midst of a sports-washing campaign the likes of which we haven't seen before? Not a single question asked about the war, not a single question asked about the lives lost in the quest to further destroy the democracy which the departments had so carefully built? No, dear reader. The press, and Kaminari himself, are silent on those topics. They know they're in the wrong. And they know who's responsible. But telling a maniac no is never easy. The point here is simple: the media must turn it's focus off of football and focus the spotlight onto Kazumori. Otherwise, the truth will never be told to the outside world and Miraisaki will continue their run of sports-washing.

The above author has requested anonymity for their own protection.

Sports: Kamijiro's Nat'l Team Top of Group After Two Matches.

JirōSekai was mostly devoid of Kamijiroans for the first time since it's construction three years ago as the Lightning took on die Adler of Calgasia. Most mainland home fans weren't permitted to attend due to travel bans, and most Jirō Island natives had work at the same time as the match. Calgasian fans turned up and nearly outnumbered the Kamijiroans in their own stadium. However, the Lightning took care of business and saw off a feisty Calgasian side that really deserved more than the match report shows. Attached below are the stats, scorers and final report.

(H) Kamijiro 4 (A) Calgasia 2
Match held at JirōSekai, Jirō Island, Kamijiro. Kickoff @ 3:00 PM.
Scorers (KMJ): Fujiwara (19'), Kokubun (49', 57'), Kirishima (88').
Scorers (CGS): Novák (41'), Webern (90+3')

Yellow cards: none given
Injuries: none

The next opponent up was the Golden Harp - a newcomer onto the international scene and a heavy defensive side. The travelling fans from Kamijiro weren't there legally due to the lack of papers and waivers, but they managed to get there nonetheless, with around 500 fans making the trip from the Lightning Isles. The atmosphere was quite intense and the home fans at the Dublin Grand were quite hostile towards the Kamijiroan visitors. But that didn't stop the Kamijiroans from taking three points off of a side that didn't quite have enough to find an equalizer down the stretch. Demizu Saiichi was taken off injured around the 65th minute, but it's expected to be a minor injury at worst. If he misses next game, Kirishima Kyōji will likely start in his place.

(A) Kamijiro 1 (H) Golden Harp 0
Match held at Dublin Grand, Golden Harp. Kickoff @ 7 PM.
Scorers (KMJ): Kagawa (14')
Scorers (GHA): None

Yellow cards: Keane (33'), Kokubun (79'), Fujiwara (88')
Injuries: Demizu (65')

The next two matches will feature the Kamijiroans taking on Vdara at JirōSekai, with a much larger attendance expected. Waivers and forms have been processed for fans to travel to Jirō for future matches and the ferries taking them across the channel have been marked with neutral flags to prevent inadvertent attacks from either side of the warring departments. The match following the Vdara match is against Qasden, who currently sit second-to-last in the group following a draw with the Golden Harp and a loss to Vdara. Until next time!!

[Kelssek]

We’ll be singing, when we’re winning...

Titian Pogbacar painted the bottom left corner of the goal with a measured strike from the edge of the penalty area to give Kelssek a late winner against Drawkland, ensuring they start the qualifying phase of World Cup 98 with two straight wins.

"Of course it was an important goal. And it was a really good goal. So my verdict on the beginning is that we've done the job," said head coach Obey Chidiebere, whose reign also gets off to a good start.

KELSSEK 1 – Lìos (74’)
Woodwell, Sauvé, Vergland, Durocher, Loew (Jouppi 69’), Pogbacar, Pépin, Lìos (Massinen 84’), Mao (Joseph 69’), Heer, Cutter (Goh-Lemaire 80’)
UNITED HAWKLAND 0
Exhibition Place, Kirkenes (attn. 39,002)

DRAWKLAND 1 (65’)
KELSSEK 2 an Deòir (56’), Pogbacar (90+1’)
Woodwell, Jouppi (Bastien 64’), Vergland, Hupe, Usher, Pogbacar, Pépin (Licea 72’), Lìos, Mao (Joseph 64’), Massinen, Obident, an Deòir (Goh-Lemaire 72’)

Move to capital mulled by football
Football Kelssek are in talks with stakeholders about a move to the federal capital. With increasing interest in national team matches, the football association believes making Stadium of the Workers a regular home base is now a viable opportunity.

Exhibition Place has been the national team’s primary home venue for decades, and was originally considered the best business and fan experience decision in a time when the national team didn’t attract enough fans to fill bigger stadiums. Moreover, the large population of Kirkenes meant enough people would inevitably consider Kelssek vs. (unranked) as adequate entertainment for fifteen thalers.

Sources who were granted anonymity to discuss sensitive details also suggested that scheduling international matches and Kelssek team activity has increasingly come into conflict with the needs of Exhibition Place’s main tenants, Kirkenes FC, who have much greater sway over the facility’s advisory board.

One spat over the professional club’s refusal to green-light a national team promotional event featuring Titian Pogbacar, who plays for rivals Burnaby SC, was cited as a negative turning point in the relationship.

Football Kelssek spokesperson Annie Fritzeller would not comment on the circumstances surrounding the “Pogbacar Pals” event, but confirmed that there is “real interest” in setting up in Neorvins, and promising there will be a “wash” in terms of the convenient travel distances for fans not living in metropolitan Kirkenes.

"We're confident that overall, this will be something that makes it more accessible to more fans around the country."

[New Fernia]

CBC Sports New Fernia: World Cup 98 Qualifiers coverage

---

On matchday one, New Fernia was at home versus 49th ranked Bears Armed. The match ended with no points on the board due to excellent defending play and saves on both sides, and some unluckiness on the side of Bears Armed. New Fernia was missing center-forward David Hunter due to an ankle injury sustained in domestic play six weeks ago. In his place on the starting line up was Isaac Morgan. So, the starting XI for New Fernia was: Bell, Morgan, Howard up front, Bradley, Thompson, Pearson, Wells in midfield, Mitchell, Fox, Hunt in the back, and Ellis in the goal. For Bears Armed: varh-Doirrie and Rusana up at the very front, Redbank, Kuthbearrh, K. Norr-Vurra more in the front-middle, Russett, Sarrndale, Bruin in the middle, Urrch and Guthrrunsdother in the back, and Ulgha in the goal.

Prior to the match, a large fight broke out between New Fernian and Bears Armed fans after a group of New Fernian fans made inflammatory comments towards a group of Bears Armed fans. The offending spectators were removed from the stadium, and security between away and home stands was increased. This, fortunately, was the only major incident between the two groups of fans.

At kickoff, Bears Armed obtained possession of the ball first and immediately brought the ball up the field. A pass from Sarrndale was caught by Redbank, who brought the ball to varh-Doirrie. She shot a short shot on goal from the outer edge of the penalty box, but it was saved by Ellis. After the goal kick at seven minutes, Bears Armed quickly caught the ball again and traded possession with New Fernia until about minute 23 when Norr-Vurra broke away with the ball. She ran the ball up the edge of the field, avoiding a poorly-aimed tackle by Thompson, and passed it to Redbank who passed it back to Norr-Vurra after the latter got around Hunt. Norr-Vurra shot towards the goal, but the ball bounded off the tip of Ellis' fingers and went out-of-bounds for a corner kicked by Sarrndale. The ball went to Kuthbearrh after the corner kick, and remained in the penalty box exchanging possessions until varh-Doirrie got a shot on goal, easily scooped up by Ellis. The half-time whistle blew 0-0.

The two teams returned from their half-time break with New Fernia quickly going aggressive and running the ball up the field. Wells passed to Howard, who passed to Morgan. Morgan attempted a shot on goal, but its poor execution led it to swing far off target and resulted in a goal kick. At minute 64, Rusana attempted a shot on goal for Bears Armed but was blocked by Ellis. At minute 77, Sarrndale's corner kick after a poor defending play by Hunt nearly made it into the goal if it weren't for the hands of Ellis blocking the way in. The whistle blew at full-time with the score 0-0, the World Cup campaign beginning score-free for both teams.

On matchday two, New Fernia traveled to 106-ranked Jeruselem. There were no pre-match "festivities," but some prominent New Fernian figures in attendance made comments about the "clothing choices" (or perhaps, lack of) by some Jeruselemites. David Hunter was still out for the New Fernians. Their starting XI: Bell, Morgan, Howard up front, Bradley, Thompson, Pearson, Wells in midfield, Mitchell, Fox, Hunt in the back, and Ellis in the goal. For Jeruselem: Schiff, Haligtree in the front, Firestone, Lockwood, Dragonskin, Radahn in the middle, Suns, Trudeau, Kovic, Pundi in the back, and Dallas in the goal.

Kickoff occurred with Jeruselem taking control of the ball initially. An attempt by Schiff initially was no good against Ellis, but at the 15th minute an attempt once again by Schiff snuck past Ellis and put Jeruselem up 1-0. New Fernia responded by rallying the ball up the pitch, but a poor pass by Morgan led to the ball being intercepted by Trudeau, passed up to Firestone, over to Dragonskin, up to Schiff who shot at the goal. Unfortunately, Ellis just couldn't reach out far enough for this one, and Schiff scored his second goal of the match in minute 29, making the score 2-0 for Jeruselem. In added time, 45+4', Haligtree had her first major chance at a goal... and swiftly punched it in past Ellis to put Jeruselem up 3-0 going into the half.

Coming out of halftime, New Fernia, as in the last match, took on an aggressive posture. They took control initially, passed the ball up the pitch to Morgan, who got lucky- keeper Dallas tripped up, and Morgan was able to kick the ball in to make the match 3-1 in the 52nd minute. New Fernia again quickly took possession of the ball after scoring, passing up the field, first to Wells, then Thompson, then Bell, but a sloppy pass allowed Pundi to take the ball, pass it up to Radahn, who kicked a long pass behind Ellis and right into the goal, putting Jeruselem up 4-1 at the 64th minute. That was the final score of the match, and the full-time whistle blew with a terrible scoreline for the New Fernian team, putting New Fernia in dead last in Group 17.

New Fernia will play Valanora, widely considered to be the best team in the multiverse, on matchday three at home, a match that Valanora is extremely heavily favored to win. For matchday four, New Fernia will play unranked Bohr away, which New Fernia is slightly favored to win.

  Group 17                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Bears Armed [49]                  2    1   1   0     3    0   +3     4
2 Valanora [1]                      2    1   1   0     4    2   +2     4
3 Bohr [UR]                         2    1   0   1     7    5   +2     3
4 Jeruselem [106]                   2    1   0   1     5    6   −1     3
5 Sarzonia [35]                     2    1   0   1     2    4   −2     3
6 Bongo Johnson [205]               2    0   2   0     2    2    0     2
7 Doubeia [80]                      2    0   1   1     3    4   −1     1
8 New Fernia [134]                  2    0   1   1     1    4   −3     1

[Eraman]

Chapter 1: The Crown Prince of Pasir

The morning sun light up the lobby of the five story Royal Pasirpura headquarters. The biggest football club in the southern part of Eraman has been the pride of the Pasir royal family for the past few years. And this morning, it would be used to make an announcement that would shake the world of Eraman football.

"It's 7 in the fucking morning. What the hell is a press conference doing at this time?" Journalists whispered, microphones pointed towards a man in a dark blue suit with a gold Royal Pasirpura logo embroidered on his chest.

Putra Pasirpura Kencana Dwitara, the Crown Prince of Pasir and the owner of Royal Pasirpura Football Club stand behind the rostrum with a confident smile as he switched on the microphone. The smile was not just merely a product of royal training, it was the satisfied smile of a politician who knew that the game had just begun.

"Football fans across Eraman," Putra Kencana opens his press conference, his voice reverberated throughout the office lobby. “I am here today not as a royal prince or the owner of Royal Pasirpura. I am here today as a big fan of Eraman football and I strongly believe that this great game is the national passion of our country. ”

Putra Kencana paused for a moment. “With all humility, I am announcing my candidacy for the presidency of the Eraman Football Association, ERAFA."

The office lobby was suddenly filled with the noise of reporters trying to ask their questions and the continuous clicking of cameras.

Without responding to any of the questions, Putra Kencana continued and went by the elevator to his office on the fifth floor.

“A bold decision, Your Highness,” said an old man who was waiting for him in the office. The person in question was Pendeta Tok Long, the royal advisor who has been working for the Pasir Kingdom for many years. “But just because one is bold does not mean one is smart.”

"I know, Tok Long," said Putra Kencana with a deep breath. "But the time has come to respond to the Petara Family.

_______________

That night, in a stall on the outskirts of the capital of Anara, Ari Pujangga, the capo of Ultras Eraman, watched Putra Kencana’s press conference on his phone again.

“Putra Kencana is finally contesting, he told several Ultras who had gathered with him. “We’ve been waiting for someone who dares to challenge ERAFA for a long time."

“But he’s from a royal family, Ari. What’s the difference between him and Tun Sengalang Petara? Both sons of kings, just want money and power," remarked one of the Ultras.

“Maybe,” Ari replied slowly. "However, sometimes, to extinguish a fire, we have to start a larger fire."

[Crpostran]

---

[*]NOTE: AI-Image used for the stadium in Page 3.

[Recuecn]

Jeanne Chartray, the woman who had negotiated the deal to keep the Fédération Nationale Reçuecienne de Football in existence, was probably wishing right about now that she had just shut the whole thing down instead.

The FNRF (referred to as the RNFA in English-language media before the passage of the "Loi Kazemi") had been, at its inception, a cabal where the seven most important soccer teams in Reçueçn would get their cronies together and decide the future of the sport—without asking anyone else's approval. Time passed and sport in Reçueçn fell by the wayside, setting the stage for Jean-Luc Lassalle, a no-name political staffer, to almost single-handedly create the Ministry of Sport as a new part of the Reçuecian government. His efforts were all in order to reestablish regular competition in Reçueçn at both the domestic and international level, and he was rewarded for his success with the position of Minister, at the head of the very ministry he himself had helped to create.

As the first Minister of Sport, Lassalle promptly attempted to wrest direct control of the national team—l'Équipe Nationale de Reçueçn de Football—away from the FNRF. The federation's constituent teams responded with a boycott, and it looked as if Reçuecian soccer was headed from its brief rebirth straight back to collapse. Negotiations between Minister Lassalle and the FNRF had entirely broken down when he brought in Chartray, a political columnist and acquaintance of his, to smooth things over. Lassalle told Chartray that the only non-negotiable condition was the end of the FNRF as Reçuecian football's governing body (a role he wanted for the ministry). Chartray, however, reached a compromise with the FNRF representatives to allow the federation to continue to control the sport—at the price of major organizational restructuring.

Chartray entirely reshaped the FNRF. No longer was it controlled by an oligarchical, elitist board of seven representatives from the original teams. The government now had a voice on the executive board, as did representatives from many parts of the sport that had previously been denied a say in the federation. Women's soccer, youth soccer, semi-pro and amateur players were all given representation alongside the nation's professional teams. The FNRF, previously in charge of little more than the league and the équipe nationale, was elevated with the government's sanction to preside over every aspect of the sport in the nation. With an executive board that much better represented the diversity of soccer in Reçueçn, it was widely agreed that the federation had been massively improved.

Yet now, a few years later, the FNRF's executive board was once again proving dysfunctional. While league play in Reçueçn had its own organizational structure and could largely run itself, the équipe nationale was managed directly by the federation. There were certainly committees that bore this responsibility, but the FNRF proved to adore micromanaging. Far too often, the executive board itself would vote on matters that ought to have been too trivial to ever come before it. The representatives at the highest level of the organization wasted their time arguing about the turf that the team should train on, the bus companies it should hire, and the color of the players' cleats. Perhaps the endless discussions of unimportant matters lulled the executive board into thinking that nothing they dealt with would ever be urgent or time sensitive.

Then they fired the team's head manager and failed to find a replacement for two years.

It was an entirely unforced error. When the FNRF ended the contract of Bonheur Relié—the previous manager—they'd seen it coming. They'd given him multiple cycles to try to get the results they wanted. He'd been given second—and third—chances. With all this time to see this coming, the FNRF had still failed to prepare. There was no one in line to take over when Relié left. And the executive board would continue to argue about who should take over for the next entire cycle, while the ENRF played an IAC without a leader, like a chicken with its head cut off.

Ägidius Heissler, the assistant manager, would have been the obvious choice. He was filling in as interim manager and coaching the team while the FNRF faffed about and failed to make a decision. It would have been so easy to tell Heissler to remove the word "interim" from his title and take over the job permanently. The players loved him and knew him well. He was popular with the fans. But the only thing the federation had made clear was that it was looking for someone new, for "fresh blood." Heissler didn't qualify. And so he was left in limbo, coaching a team that was not his, given no information on how long he would be left as a sitting duck manager, and with rumors of his potential replacements constantly swirling around him, doing nothing but add to his distractions and anxiety.

So why had the FNRF failed to find a replacement manager? Hadn't Chartray's reforms fixed its problems?

The root issue, it turned out, was one of personality, not organizational structure. The size of the FNRF executive board had doubled, and the size of the egos that sat on the board was even larger.

Jeanne Chartray had accepted a position on the board—as representative for the Ministry of sport—at the personal request of Minister Lassalle. Sometimes, when she attended the board meetings, she felt as though her colleagues belonged in a clown car instead of seated around the meeting room.

There was the nepo baby, Cesario Licciardi. His father owned a semi-pro team and had pulled some strings to get his boy appointed as an FNRF representative. Cesario was wildly unqualified for the job and the majority of the time had no idea what was going on.

There was Anni Anliker, the clueless millionaire. Anliker was fabulously wealthy and equally out of touch with reality. She had a habit of assuming that any problem could be solved by throwing money at it, which was problematic on the FNRF's budget. When it was first mentioned that Bonheur Relié had been sent packing, Anliker's comment had been, verbatim: "Oh, so we need a new manager? How much could that even cost anyway? A couple hundred million?" Jeanne had tried to explain that she was off by a factor of a hundred or so. Anliker had blinked like a frog, and after a beat, said "Oh, so what's the problem?"

Then there was Ben Müller, the representative for FC Zimmerich, who was totally the opposite of the head-in-the-clouds duo of Cesario and Anni. Müller was ruthlessly efficient, and everything around him had to be, too. Müller had his MBA and it was somehow the main thing about him. Jeanne's first impression when she'd met him had been "this is a man with an MBA", and she'd never shaken that first image of him. It didn't help that he was constantly bringing it up. "You shouldn't need an MBA like the one I did to know that the bottom line is the most important thing," Müller would say. He was purely business-oriented to the point that it seemed sometimes he had forgotten he worked for a sporting organization—or that the sport even existed. He was always the one to bring up the budget, usually at an inconvenient time (although Jeanne was at least grateful that he provided an anchor of rationality in a room full of crazy people).

Alexandre Fernand, for example. Alexandre operated purely on nostalgia. You could count on him to always make the decision that would have been the correct one... thirty years ago. Jeanne had quickly found that Fernand had an unreasonable sentimental attachment to the past. He spoke for the professional clubs not directly spoken for on the board by their own representatives, and seemed to always be angling to return the league and the national team to how they had been at their founding, to move backward, into the past. Whenever Jeanne had a new idea for innovation or reform, anything clever that she knew would be a real improvement, she could count on Fernand to staunchly oppose her. Half the time, he announced his opposition before he'd even heard her idea.

There was Brice Beauchene, who was only concerned with aesthetics, on every level. As long as the federation appeared to have its shit together, he didn't care how dysfunctional it was. The only thing that mattered was appearances, no matter how superficial, which meant many long committee hours devoted to picking apart the work of the graphic designers they'd hired and sending everything back with new requests.

There was Eveline Martel, who's zealous devotion to her ideals and draconian way of forcing them down everyone else's throats ground productive conversation to a halt.

Michèle Simon was frankly just a terrible person. She only cared about making money—not in the "run this business efficiently" sense, like Müller—she was motivated by pure greed.

And there was the one who annoyed Jeanne Chartray the most: Yves Sabatier. Sabatier wasn't even a representative. He didn't have a seat on the board. He was merely the staffer who assisted during meetings—Jeanne wasn't even positive of his job title: Human Solutions Facilitator, or Dynamic Communications Synergist, or something. Some bullshit name that made it clear he was somewhere on the bottom rung of the ladder. It meant nothing to Jeanne, but she could tell it meant everything to Yves, and not in a good way.

It was painfully obvious that Yves wanted nothing more than a quick rise to the top. His ambitions had ambitions. At ever executive meeting he would speak up, ignoring the pointed glances he would inevitably receive, just to remind people that he was in the room and that he Had Ideas. He was obsessed with Getting Shit Done, because he was convinced that if he got enough Shit Done, he would be rewarded with the promotion he needed so badly. His outlook made him an incredible employee, and absolutely insufferable.

None of these board members were capable of cooperating with each other. When you considered the people making the decisions for the FNRF, it was remarkable the organization had gotten anything done at all in the last couple years. It was remarkable the organization hadn't imploded. For a year and a half the executive board had squabbled about finding a replacement for Relié and Heissler, with no progress whatsoever. Now, with the world cup fast approaching, there was finally a meaningful deadline, something that could turn the screws on the thumbs of the hapless FNRF. The team was foundering without a leader (as the federation saw it—they hadn't won a game yet), and it was time to finally make a choice.

But what that meant was the squabbling was only going to get fiercer and more dysfunctional. A dark time lay ahead for the federation.

[Auprussia]

AUPRUSSIAN REGIONAL ERA CHAPTER 2

First Regional Tournament Highlight Matches:

Eolorent 1-0 Auprussia Continental:
Jarvont 52'

This group A match caught a lot of folks by surprise. Auprussia Continental at the time was an unimpressive tier 3 club just trying to survive the new reality while Eolorent was a big club with a a stable plan through this time. When the match started though you would have thought Auprussia Continental was the big club. Chance upon chance fell into Continental's lap but they could not finish in time for the half. Eolorent looked terrible throughout the first half and allegedly manager Martin Terriquet exclaimed "I swear to all that is in this world if we lose I will etch the result into every single one of your lockers!". When Eolorent started the second half they played with urgency and scored in the 52nd minute. After the goal Eolorent choked the life out of the game and beat Auprussia Continental of course but the fact they were pushed to the limit by a very small Auprussian club did not bode well for them.

Auprussia NF 1-2 Perin Memorielle
Denlans 40' - Gauprot 66' Lithomirre 84'

The final group D match had both Auprussia NF and Perin Memorielle fighting it out for first place in the group and the result was a disaster for Auprussia NF. The young Choetrie Denlans scored just before the half but that did not shake Perin Memorielle at all. Perin Memorielle then scored twice in the second half thanks to the porous defense of Auprussia NF. After the match the Auprussia NF supporters threw bottles on the pitch and booed their own club as they walked into the locker room. This result ensures Perin Memorielle tops the groupd while Auprussia NF needed a result against Helensorc to get into the Knockout stages.

Pontmeosont 3-0 Palice Rouge
Letaire 23' Buriga 43' De Letevinons 74'

This match in group H had Pontmeosont completely dominating Palice Rouge to top the group. What makes this match special is the taunting Palice Rouge manager Reo Aprenande did before the match calling Pontmeosont a "Cult" (eluding to the club's founding by a Church of the Sun priest). Also added that "no one wants to go to Siogaul, that place is a dump filled with gutless trash". Yeah it was a rough interview and the response was loud and warranted. Pontmeosont played rough and in some ways dirty as well. When Rogeur Letaire scored the first goal he ran over to Aprenande and supposedly cursed him out. Afterwards the Pontmeosont supporters chanted "Gutless trash!". Aprenande did not do an interview afterwards but Pontmeosont manager Roric Mensetout commented "You know for a place fileld with gutless trash we played like the best team in the country. It's almost like people talk more than they practice."

Pontmeosont 2-1 Auprussia NF
Letaire 50' 62' - Denlans 15'

Auprussia NF had managed to overcome a less than optimal group stage to get to the Semi-Finals but the couldn't get past Pontmeosont. Rogeur Letaire scored a brace to a chorus of boos from the Auprussia NF supporters as Pontmeosont decisively defeat Auprussia NF after a very quick Choetrie Denlans goal. Young striker Choetrie Denlans said it was "The most disappointing match I've been in." Manager Bertrand Evelcer commented "The result makes me sick. I feel like we failed the fans and ourselves". Roric Mensetout on the other hand mocked Auprussia NF saying "Disappointment comes from being too high on yourself. Good club but I think they thought they had it in the bag, that's why they lost to Perin for example". This obviously did not go well in the Auprussia NF camp but what could they say? they lost.

Pontmeosont 6-0 Eolorent
Letaire 10' 23' 36' Aurorelle 46' Pentheux 67' 83'

Possibly the worst tournament finals during the Regional Era. Eolorent played with the grace of a drunken giraffe the entire tournament but they were really exposed during this match. Rogeur Letaire scored a hattrick within 36 minutes and it went downhill from there. Eolorent supporters started to chant "You suck, it's only 3-0!" and when they started it Walthaire Aurorelle scored another goal. They couldn't even self-deprecate in peace during this match. This left Pontmeosont the victors of the very first Regional tournament and their dominant performance made some declare that they were best club in Auprussia. Mensetout encouraged this saying "You're damn right we're the best! We've been the best and every one of those losers out there knows it!".

This first tournament showcased some great football but also people could not help but wonder what would have happened if these matches were played in Lige PRO. Regional tournaments did start to pop up more and more with clubs like Noechatel Athletike, Ostissiennes, Birivistice, Angevines, etc. all dominating their regional tournament scene. This made the AFF make their first National tournament to end the year with winners of all Regional tournaments automatically invited along with some playoff matches that the AFF setup. The goal was to get 64 entrants into the tournament and to finally find out who the best in Auprussia actually is. In the next chapter we will go over these playoff matches and the format of the first AFF National Tour.

In a time not too far into the future...

Auprussia 0-1 @ Sargossa
Goals:
65' Sargossan Player

Auprussia 5-1 Brusseldorf @ Parc De Nasional
Goals
Martin Ivicer 15' (Assisted by Roquen Perugignac) 42' (Assisted by Miren Saloux-Chard)
Miren Saloux-Chard 29' (Assisted by Ingalcer Pardau)
Andre Mirdeau 73' (Assisted by Prospierre Aregnac-Tignon)
Vitore Enetac  86' (Assited by Martin Ivicer)

Brusseldorf Player 50'

[Edsmontik]

streggvalkligges.eds
YOUR Edsmon Sports Hub

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6/14/2030

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EVENTS

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FDVL
FDVL CHAMPION: REICHAN DE-WALVARJ

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INTERNATIONAL
NSWC98Q MD1

Group 7

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Cafu and Malaguay 0–1 Edsmontik @ Cafu & Malaguay Home Stadium
None | M. Ghreksbvy (37')

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CHANNELS

TOUGHER THAN WE THOUGHT

No one would have expected Cafu & Malaguay to nearly make a comeback on the Edsmons.
However, they almost did- nearly scaring the Eagles back into isolation.
"It was a tough match." der-Ghavyr, the Edsmon manager said. "They put up a good fight, and got some chances in. Honestly, I see our opponents in the World Cup sometime soon."
Throughout the match, we saw extremely close chances from both sides, with stars like Stuero and Ghreksbvy making powerful shots and C&M's strikers getting close to passing der-Stoiuben.
Let's look at the game now, shall we?

First Half
Kickoff went to Edsmontik, with them starting the game quickly.
Bervaign made a pass to Stuero, who drove forward around the C&M winger.
In a matter of seconds, Stuero was charging down the wing with multiple C&M defenders on him.
But after a few displays of footwork Stuero sent the ball in the air towards Bervaign.
With the defense partially focused on Stuero and out of the way, Bervaign sent a through ball past C&M's central midfielder to Rehcikt, who quickly picked up the ball and charged to the box.
The C&M right back followed, but a flick into the air threw him off track, leaving the door open for Maven to score.
With a quick tap, he sent the ball curving toward the top left corner.
It soared quickly before being stopped in its tracks by the goalkeeper.
The C&M goalkeeper smashed the ball back to the center, where the roles would now be flipped.
The Cafu and Malaguay team showed that they weren't going to be toyed around with by the Edsmons; in a matter of seconds, now they were the ones attacking.
C&M's front three began passing as much as they could, wasting the Eagles' energy every time.
Knowing that they could very much give up a goal here, Javarqa called out for the Edsmons to enter defensive positions in the back.
As time passed, the two teams were stuck in a stalemate, something that was not at all planned to happen.
Eventually, on the left, Lajiflak Fruedenne managed to intercept a misplaced pass by the C&M's central midfielder, giving the Edsmons a chance again.
Using their midfield push tactic, they sent the ball back to distract the Cafu team before lobbing it right over their heads.
"It was a little funny seeing their midfield come up and realize too late that they fell into a trap" Fruedenne said after the match.
With only the defense left, in went Stuero and Ghreksbvy, the top Edsmon players.
But it was another stalemate as the C&M team held together, stopping the push.
And as the midfield came in, Maktholm took a chance knowing they wouldn't get into the box.
"Maktholm Ghreksbvy receives the ball from Stuero, he's going for a shot- GOALLLLL!!!!!"
From pretty far out, Ghreksbvy attempted a shot that had just managed to bounce under C&M's goalkeeper.
For the final minutes of the half, things seemingly went well with the Edsmons holding their lead and luring Cafu & Malaguay players into more traps.
But then, an error in the back would give Mavkrav der-Suiozkeafter a yellow card and the C&M a chance at goal.
"It's a free kick, pretty far out, but still possible to score." Jervanois said. "We can't have risks like this."
The Cafu & Malaguay striker fired the ball into the air, but the kick was too high, soaring right over der-Stoiuben and landing out of bounds.
What a way to end the half.

Second Half
Starting up again, the C&M team were clearly determined to at least draw their first game.
They made many risky passes, with the wingers attempting long shots like Ghreksbvy or Stuero.
However, they all soared over the net or were extremely off.
The Edsmons struggled to maintain possession, with the C&M team doing everything they could to keep the ball away.
As the 50th minute approached, the Edsmons only had a few touches on the ball.
This wasn't looking good at all, with the C&M team getting closer each minute.
Eventually, a strong header from Ystermakt secured the ball back into Edsmon hands, giving everyone a sigh of relief.
Meanwhile, up in the stands, Edsmon fans were loud, annoying, and being as confident they could be.
There were groups of fans playing the Edsmon anthem, songs, and funny sounds.
People waved flags, held up banners, and jumped around while swinging their shirts in the air.
The Eagles liked the attention, pointing up to fans who cheered them on and waving hello.
That motivated them, allowing strong pushes forward that slowly weakened the Cafu and Malaguay defense.
It was Rehcikt, then Bervaign, then Stuero.
With each chance, with each shot, the C&M team began to fade.
But it was always interrupted by their goalkeeper, who was saving everything with ease.
So as the minutes flew, and the Edsmons made substitutions, it seemed less as they would obliterate this new team.
Instead, it was more of "We barely secure a win."
"I completely agree with how people see it that way." said Edsmon fan Sioux Billserneg. "No other goal except for the first, and we've done way better against unranked teams. Kind of a no-effort game from the Eagles."
Reus Aespana, one of the Edsmon players, told us after the game about his thoughts.
"Honestly, it made sense why we didn't push ourselves. If we're going to have one home and one away in the span of two days, we want to save that energy." he said.
As the 80th minute approached, things looked like they'd stay at a 1-0 scoreline.
Both the Edsmon and C&M teams were worn out, pushing the game back to a stalemate.
And as Edsmontik made their final substitution with Svaardaen coming on, der-Ghavyr quickly remembered to initiate their time-wasting tactic.
It was put into action right away, with the Edsmon defense tucking the ball behind them.
Now, the C&M team was really struggling, not able to land a single foot on the ball.
The final minutes were soon ticked off, and the whistle blew, signaling a win to start the Edsmon campaign in the 98th World Cup Qualifiers.

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6/15/2030

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EVENTS

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FDVL
FDVL CHAMPION: REICHAN DE-WALVARJ

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INTERNATIONAL
NSWC98Q MD2

Group 7

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Edsmontik 5–1 Safiloa @ Touve Suberarenae, Touve, Austrankank, Edsmontik (100,870)
M. Stuero (5', 90+1'), V. Bervaign (41'), R. Aespana (56'), M. Ghreksbvy (78') | Safiloa ST (26')

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CHANNELS

BEAUTIFULLY PUT TOGETHER

In an attempt to push themselves to the top of the table, the Eagles went all out against Safiloa.
And that led to the beautiful win over their opponent.
The Touve Suberarenae was also put into use, and already we see airports clogged and trains slow because of the sheer number of people travelling.
Thousands of Edsmon citizens are said to be travelling from all over to Touve to get a seat at the new Suberarenae.
On the Safiloa match, we saw 93,870 seats filled up, and we predict that by mid-qualifiers, we will see the stadium be overfilled.
Now, let's move onto the game itself, with Derov Reinsend and Maartin Stuero.

***
Derov: The Edsmon-Safiloa qualifier at the newly rebuilt Touve Suberarenae was a very eventful match, with six total goals and multiple conflicts on the field. Thanks for joining us Maartin, and how did you feel about the outcome of the game?

Maartin: A 5-1 finish is really more than what we expected, I believe it is probably one of the best and biggest wins in Edsmon history. It really makes me feel proud on how the Edsmon team has developed over the years, from the IAC21 to now.

Derov: I agree, the Edsmon team has come very far from their unlucky beginnings. What are you and your team looking to achieve this cycle?

Maartin: We are all hoping to win the world cup, obviously, but a more realistic goal is possibly topping our qualifying group, surviving the group stage, and then making it into the knockouts. We showed that we could make it to the group stage last time, so who knows what we can do now.

Derov: Alright, let's talk a bit about the Safiloa game, what do you think about your opponents?

Maartin: Safiloa was a pretty good team, and I would say they played pretty well. However they aren't good in the back, which led to them being torn up towards the end. Overall they aren't a bad team, but I personally don't see them in the World Cup until they improve their squad and learn how to adapt.

Derov: Explain a little more about adapting, please?

Maartin: What I mean about adapting is changing based on how your opponent plays, as in your opponent is on the defense, so you go on the offense, but when they change, you change. The Safiloans took a while to realize at times, and I think they could definitely look on doing that. Then they might become a complete, strong team.

Derov: I see. Who would you say has potential on this Safiloan team?

Maartin: Despite the striker having scored the only goal, I want to say the goalkeeper did a pretty good job. Even though he had his mistakes, he shines duringt he first half and towards times when the defense acted up. That made it pretty hard for our attacks to get past.

Derov: Okay, anything else on the Safiloan National Team?

Maartin: Nope.

Derov: Alright, so as you know, you guys will be going up against Banija and Auprussia a few days from now. What are you and your team going to be doing to prepare?

Maartin: Well, Banija and Auprussia are two very tough teams, and I think that as captain, we're going to work a lot on defense, as that does become problematic with unneeded tackles and overreactions to small, easily stopped chances. Since we are playing Banija away, that's going to slump our chances, but if we can hold out and possibly end it with a draw, we won in our eyes. And for Auprussia, they've proven to be pretty good with their own 5-1 win. Whether we win or lose, we just have to see.

Derov: Yep, it's going to take a lot of good chances and luck during games with bigger teams. How's everything going with your teammates, and how do you all get along so well?

Maartin: Good chemistry is important, so we set aside our rivalries for these games. We are all close friends, and without that, we'd be losing. It's the entire formula behind our well-coordinated passes, we spend time together, get to know and trust eachother.

Derov: You're not wrong when you say chemistry is an important factor. Anyway, that's all for tonight, thanks for joining me, Maartin!

Maartin: You're welcome, I enjoyed being here this evening. Letgoen Vdesmontiq!

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EDSMON ROSTER

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CHANGES FOR MD3/4

[HOT-DAMN]

(And now, some news headlines for your pleasure.)

MATHIS: HOT-DAMN OUTPOST NEARING COMPLETION
By Jim Welsh, the Buckridge Sentinel

NEW HAP CITY, HOT-DAMN – The new HOT-DAMN outpost is nearing its completion over in Anaia, said its new director.

William Mathis, the former Hapiloppian president and current director of the HOT-DAMN outpost, said the territory is expected to open sometime in the next two to three months.

“We are very excited about the opening of this new territory,” Mathis said. “Construction is going ahead of schedule and we think that we can move residents in pretty soon.”

The territory, officially named Hapilopper Overseas Territories: Dominion Anaia Maritime Neighborhood, or HOT-DAMN for short, is slated to be Hapilopper’s first overseas territory. The territory features housing for some 300,000 residents, as well as retail and work space, education opportunities, and a 20,000 seat stadium for the territory’s football team.

That team, the Kensington Town Soccer Club, is currently playing in its second World Cup qualifier, and sits second in its group after two matches, following a win over Ochre Islands and a tie against top-ranked Tanirinthia.

“It’s great to represent the new territory,” said James Eaton, manager and head coach of the team. “We feel there is a lot of momentum coming our way out in the Anaian outpost and we think it’ll be the place to be in the months and years ahead.”

Eaton also runs Laughing Dog Bar and Grill, a popular watering hole in Kensington Town, a suburb of Buckridge. Eaton said he will sell that bar when the HOT-DAMN territory opens and open a new establishment in downtown New Hap City.

“I’ve loved serving the people of Kensington Town for 20 years,” Eaton said. “But at this point, my first priority is to get ready to serve the new residents of our new Anaian outpost. We think our new establishment in New Hap City will be a very popular location and we know that we’ll be happy to serve residents with Hapiloppian favorites and favorites from across Anaia.”

Eaton said his goal for Kensington Town is to get into the World Cup Proper the first year that HOT-DAMN is open for business.

“We’d love nothing more than to have our winning team represent the outpost in the biggest tournament in the multiverse,” he said. “People call us the beer leaguers, but we’re so much more than that. We’re winning beer leaguers.”

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REPORTED OVERSEAS OUTPOSTS BEING CONSIDERED
By Stephanie Williams, the Hapilopper City Herald

HAPILOPPER CITY – The Hapiloppian Parliament has started a subcommittee on overseas territories, a response to legislation being drafted on the matter.

Bob Masterson, a conservative from South Hampton, started the subcommittee following the drafting of legislation that would start up planning for outposts in Sonnel, Arrosia and Mandalanusa. Masterson stressed, however, that said legislation may not go far.

“We haven’t heard much about popular support for other overseas territories,” he said. “The one in Anaia was a special case, an aberration, for lack of a better word.”

That territory, the Hapilopper Overseas Territories: Dominion Anaia Maritime Neighborhood, was built in the immediate aftermath of a beer league soccer team accidentally ending up in Anaia, competing in the Anaia regional tournament and then entering World Cup 97 to stunning success. That team, the Kensington Town Soccer Club, will be the permanent representative of that Anaia territory, also known as HOT-DAMN.

The legislation with the most reported support comes from Jim Green, a conservative from Surrey, who has drawn up legislation supporting a new territory in the Sonnel region. That territory would be known as the Hapilopper Overseas Territories: Sonnel Hapiloppian International Territories, or HOT-SHIT.

“I’ve heard from a few residents in Surrey that have said they would love to utilize Sonnel as a great trading partner,” Green said. “I’ve also heard from a beer league squad that said they’d love to use HOT-SHIT as a home for international tournaments, up to and including the World Cup.”

Currently, two Hapiloppian teams compete in international football: Ellis Football, a project started by the late Nathan Ellis, representing Hapilopper the country; and Kensington Town Soccer Club, representing HOT-DAMN.

Due to World Cup Committee regulations, a third team can not compete in World Cup-sanctioned events. But that’s not stopping HOT-SHIT supporters from trying.

“Why not?” Green asked. “If the guys from Anaia can do it, so can we.”

That attitude is shared by supporters from Border City, a city on the former Hapilopper-Wreckeria border. Their representative in Parliament, Cassie Phelps, a liberal, has drawn up legislation for a territory in Arrosia, a territory called the Hapilopper Overseas Territories: Arrosia Station Exclave, or HOT-ARSE.

Notably, Arrosia is home to many former Atlantian Oceania nations. Those nations split off from that region and started Arrosia several years ago in the wake of a massive scandal concerning that region, while Hapilopper left that regional organization to join Esportiva.

The official view of the Hapiloppian government, according to the office of President Brett Booth, is that Arrosia is, effectively, the successor to Atlantian Oceania, but the government joined the Esportivan organization instead, due to the membership of what they view as “close allies,” including Xanneria, the Sherpa Empire, Tumbra, South Newlandia and Newmanistan.

“That said, we are in full support of an outpost in Arrosia,” said a representative of Booth’s office.

“We’d love to have a territory in a land that we used to call home,” Phelps said. “To this day, we still maintain close trade relationships with those in Arrosia, and this territory would allow trading to become more convenient.”

There is a rumored settlement being proposed in Mandalanusa, known as the Hapilopper Overseas Territories: Mandalanusa Overseas Mandatory Settlement, or HOT-MOMS. This one has yet to receive as much traction as either HOT-SHIT or HOT-ARSE, and legislation has yet to be presented to Parliament.

Rumored legislation author Rob Young, a conservative from Kingsland, declined comment on the matter.

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LAUGHING DOG DRINKING SONG CONTEST GETS OUT OF CONTROL, COPS CALLED
By Todd Baker, the Buckridge Sentinel

KENSINGTON TOWN – Police were reportedly called to Laughing Dog Bar and Grill here after noise complaints came from what law enforcement called “a drinking song contest gone wild.”

“There was no violence nor threats of it,” said Officer Tim Schroeder of the Kensington Town Police Department. “It’s just a bunch of drunken idiots singing obscene songs in celebration.”

The bar sponsors the Kensington Town Soccer Club, which currently sits second in Group 15 in World Cup 98 qualifying, trailing only Crpostran. The team defeated Ochre Islands and tied with Tanirinthia, ranked 15th in the multiverse.

Jimmy Eaton, who both runs the bar and the soccer club, said he’d try to tell his players to behave next time, but stressed that at least his team wasn’t getting involved in violence.

“Look, the worst thing my boys did was loudly sing about the merits of getting an Imporian drunk and then heading on out to Loyo and getting smashed Communist-style,” Eaton said. “We didn’t get in a brawl with a construction crew, nor did we threaten to ram a boot up the ass of a police officer.”

Eaton was referencing the recent mass arrest of the Hapilopper National Football Team, arrested after a bar fight at Center Street Pub in Hapilopper City with a crew working on the new SuperStadium on the grounds of the Hapilopper National Exhibition.

According to a police report, Hapiloppian defenseman Arnold March threatened to “shove a boot” up a police officer’s rear end, something that netted him a charge on terroristic threats.

Eaton said, however, that he wasn’t about to do that.

“I can’t think of a way that it would rhyme with ‘shots of communist liquor,’” Eaton joked.

Only one arrest was made, according to the police report. Eddie Deacon, 38, was arrested on one charge of Criminal Stupidity. According to the police report, Deacon reportedly offered the responding officers a beer. When that offer was declined, Deacon then offered to "take some HOT-DAMN hot-ass shots so we can make this go away."

Deacon was released without charge the next morning.

[Siovanija and Teusland]

A Different Campaign
Volume II
Back on the Trail

“Doesn’t it feel good, Josef? Back on the campaign trail again.”

Chancellor Hauser smiled as she asked the question of her Foreign Minister, Josef Wimmer. The two old college classmates had grown up to become friends and colleagues in the highest circles of Siovanija & Teusland’s government - Hauser often felt that Wimmer was the only one she could trust with everything when it came to politics.

Wimmer chuckled. “For you, Lara, I’m happy - you love this stuff. For me… I’d rather be in my office reading a report.”

“You always hated fun,” replied the Chancellor with a grin.

The duo worked together so well because in many ways they were quite opposite - Wimmer was the calm, collected policy wonk who thought carefully through every decision he had ever made. He had risen to hero status in Teusland following the Sankt Konrad War, as his smart diplomacy ensured that virtually the entire world supported Siovanija & Teusland in its invasion to overthrow the government of Valljas Bancu. But Wimmer didn’t exactly like the spotlight - he really did prefer to be inside his own study, reading a document about the history of an allied state and its customs to prepare for his next visit.

Hauser, on the other hand, was a charismatic leader of people. She couldn’t stand to be locked in her office, and while she could sometimes second-guess her own decisions, she trusted the people she had put around her to make the right call. For Hauser, she was in her element the most when giving a speech, be it to voters or her caucus, and her incredible popularity at home was down to her connection with the people - she was almost certain to go down as one of the greatest leaders in the country’s history, having led the country back from isolation and guided it through its greatest crisis since unification. .

Now, the Chancellor was eager to hit the campaign trail again. Eight years of rule had added grey streaks to her blonde hair, and of course she wasn’t quite as young as she had been during that first win. But for Hauser, it didn’t matter - the rigors of campaigning actually filled her with energy, rather than sapping it away as it has for so many a candidate. She got to be out of the office, talking with the people - visiting towns and cities across the country, hearing from the people what they wanted her to get done. This campaign had just kicked off, and yet already Hauser had an ambitious schedule planned - rallies in various spots around Siovanija & Teusland. Tonight’s event, however, would be the real beginning of the campaign.

Back in her hometown of Stelburg, Hauser would kick off the campaign with a speech in the famous Stelburg Eispalast. Normally the host of ice hockey matches, tonight it would be the scene of the speech that would set out her priorities for the re-election campaign. In the back of her head, she knew of course that her re-election was a formality - as close to a sure thing as you could get in politics. But she wasn’t going to ease up, and she would campaign just as hard as if she was behind in the polls.

There was another reason for Hauser’s great energy for this campaign. Nobody in the world knew this part - not even her family, or the man seated across from her on the plane - this would be her final election. Aged 55, and with no term limits to hold her back, many in the media had speculated that Hauser could form a political dynasty lasting years. But she didn’t want that. Her children were growing up too fast on her, and her husband, Robert, had been so understanding over the years - but she couldn’t put her family life aside forever. Besides, sometimes it’s better to go out on top than to stick around forever and wear out your welcome. With four years ahead of her, she could find a successor in the party - just as Dominik Meier had once mentored her - and hand the future of the party and country to them in four years’ time.

As the plane descended into Stelburg airport, suddenly Hauser felt the need to ask Wimmer the question that had been on her mind since she’d made the decision: “Do you think it was the right call? The early election?”

Wimmer just smiled. “I’ve seen a few bad decisions in your life, Lara. This is not one of them.”

Hauser laughed too. Why did she have these moments of self-doubt? It was the one thing she’d change about herself, if she could.

There was no time to think about it too much. Soon enough, the jet was on the ground, and the Chancellor was in the back of a silver TMW speeding towards the Eispalast. Sitting in the front row of the arena, she watched as a few speakers opened the night. The Mayor of Stelburg, Heinrich Waldvogel, announced his endorsement of the NDU coalition. Other members of the party and government spoke, and then finally, it was time for the Chancellor.

“You sure you don’t want to speak instead?” she said to Wimmer as she got up.

“I’m good,” laughed the Foreign Minister.

Hauser got to the podium, and looked out into the audience. The blue signs of the NDU waved in the air, and the applause continued for over a minute before the Chancellor could even speak. For many people, they would come up blank in such a moment - overcome by the nerves of 25,000 people, and up to millions more watching on TV, before them. Lara, however, was in her element.

“It’s an honour that you have all joined us here tonight for this very special moment. I can’t think of a better place to begin this campaign than here in Stelburg - my hometown, the city where I went to university, and the city whom I represented as a member of the National Chancellery for so many years.”

“This campaign is about Stelburg. It’s about Felsenkirchen, St. Jakob, Borograd and Trkev. It’s about Bad Schweingau in the mountains, and Vojnik on the sea. Cities and towns that have seen prosperity and growth return since the end of isolation. It’s about the family with 3 kids trying to put them all through university, the small business owner who is a pillar of his community, and the nurse who works long hours to make sure her patients get through the night. It’s about all of the hard-working people in this country, who deserve the best shot they can get in life and the support of their country behind them.”

“Eight years ago, you, the people chose to put your faith and trust in me and my team. To end the painful period of isolation, restore our economy, restore our status in the world and bring prosperity back. I strongly believe that in our eight years so far, we have gone above and beyond in delivering on these promises.”

There were loud cheers from the crowd as Hauser continued. “Since the end of isolation, the change in this country has been incredible. The dockyards of Felsenkirchen and Kaiserhaven, which had become nearly deserted, are once again teeming with ships from all over the world bringing trade - and they are met, as they have been for centuries, by our proud dockworkers. In 8 years, our government has seen unemployment drop from record highs to record lows. We have seen average salaries go up - across the board - and we have seen a massive boost to our GDP. We have lowered taxes to ensure there’s more money in your pocket, so that you can make those important life decisions - buying a first home, opening a new business - and invest in our economy. Together, we’ve built our country once again into an economic powerhouse. Together, over the next four years, with the team that has made these strides, we will continue to grow. We will continue to invest in new infrastructure projects, such as a new port facility in the harbour of Felsenkirchen that is so desperately needed to meet the demand of ships. We will continue to build new homes so that every young person in this country can realistically achieve their goal of owning a home. And we will expand the yearly tax-free savings investment contribution limit from T8,000 to T12,000, allowing you to put more money away for your future.”

Great cheers from the crowd filled the arena - it was a partisan crowd, of course, but Hauser was confident in her speech so far.

“Under isolation, Siovanija & Teusland had faded from its role as an important player in the region and world. In eight years, our government has raised our nation’s profile once again. Our relationships with our dear neighbours such as Banija and Valanora have grown strong once again. Sporting successes like our surprise qualification for World Cup 97, and hosting an IFCF football final have raised our profile in this world, too, and our government is making major strides to bring an international sporting tournament to our shores.”

Hauser paused now - the next bit was important.

“When our nation faced the greatest crisis it has seen since unification, our government acted with courage and strength. We built new, stronger ties with many of our partners in the Kolonialvereinigung, and our allies supported us. And when Valljas Bancu wrought tyranny upon Sankt Konrad, Siovanija & Teusland proved to him - and the entire world - that we would not stand for it. We defended our people, and we restored democracy to Sankt Konrad, and for that I am proud of our armed forces, our people who supported them with full hearts, and our government who worked hard to find the solution to this crisis. We are once again a player on the world stage.”

The crowd was fully in her control now, as it erupted into cheers and massive applause as the camera focused on several soldiers in attendance at the Eispalast who had fought on Sankt Konrad. In Teusland, they were adored, and while Hauser did not want to use that for political gain, she could at least take the credit for having led the country through the whole thing. Now, it was time to close it up”

“When a government calls an election, it is asking of its people: do you trust in us? Do you have faith that, just as we have been your voice for the past 8 years, that we can continue to be your voice for the next 4 years? That we will continue to bring prosperity to this country, and work together to achieve it? I am confident that we have proven to you, the people, that we deserve your confidence, and I eagerly await your answer!”

The crowd began to cheer again, clearly giving her the answer ‘yes.’ The prepared speech ended on that line, but Hauser, ever the improviser, added one more bit - “Not tonight! Answer me at the ballot box - that is where it counts!” The crowd laughed, and continued to cheer.

She felt a wave of energy as she left the stage and headed back to her seat. It did feel good to be back campaigning, and to feel the energy of the crowd around her. At her seat, she found her old friend smiling.

“Awesome. I don’t know how you do it,” said Wimmer.

She smiled. Here was one thing she was 100% confident in - the campaign was off to an excellent start.

Siovanija & Teusland 6-2 Drawkland

XI: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl (Sanner 60'), Rodl, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje (Winter 60'), Le Meji; Vadimic, A. Kosch-Kovarik (Trstenjek 75'), Hackl
Goals: Einar Hackl 17', 31', 52'; Veljko Vadimic 23'; Xorge Le Meji 40'; Marjan Trstenjek 81'
Man of the Match: Einar Hackl
In Brief: Goldhorns open up Qualifying campaign at the Nationalstadion with brilliant win over Drawkland. A hat-trick from Einar Hackl was joined by an excellent performance from Xorge Le Meji, who scored once and assisted 3.

Damukuni 0-3 Siovanija & Teusland

XI: Bodeker; Wimmer, Apel, Rodl (Sanner 75'), Gellner; Porsche (Gruber 45'), Winter, Le Meji (Rosberg 80'); Korlikov, Zschokke, Burger
Goals: Dusan Korlikov 12', 47'; Michael Burger 60'
Man of the Match: Dusan Korlikov
In Brief: Dusan Korlikov brilliant as the Goldhorns grab a second win of the campaign away to Damukuni. The Zvezda Vlaikograd winger scored twice in the win and looked unstoppable all night in an important away win for the national side.

Siovanija & Teusland 25 man squad for international window 2
vs Busoga Islands (Stadion Razdrto, Borograd), vs Kelssek (Olimpski-Stadion, Borograd)

Goalkeepers: Holz, Bodeker, Kranz
Defenders: Schwefel, Wimmer, Reichenbach, Gellner, Steinhausl, Rodl, Apel, Vykukal
Midfield: Porsche, Gruber, Winter, Prekmurje, Rosberg, Le Meji
Wingers: Vadimic, Korlikov, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Zschokke, Trstenjek
Forwards: Hackl, Burger, Bing

Expected XI vs Busoga Islands: Kranz; Wimmer, Rodl, Vykukal, Gellner; Gruber, Winter, Le Meji; Korlikov, Zschokke, Bing
Expected XI vs Kelssek: Holz; Schwefel, Steinhausl, Apel, Reichenbach; Porsche, Prekmurje, Le Meji; Vadimic, A. Kosch-Kovarik, Hackl

Preview: Two home games for the Goldhorns in the second international block, and two more important games. First up the national team will welcome Arrosian neighbours Busoga Islands to the Stadion Razdrto. The Busogans, though ranked 281st in the world, have a long history at the World Cup and will surely provide a difficult opponent for the Goldhorns. In the opening window, Busoga had a mixed bag of results - a 3-0 loss in Damukuni, but then a 4-0 win over Lisander to show their pedigree. Look out for Ben Bing and Boris Vykukal to make international debuts here, while the midfield trio of Hans Gruber, Mats Winter and Xorge Le Meji with Dusan Korlikov and Reto Zschokke out wide should bring some brilliant youthful energy to the Goldhorns. The second match of the window will be hosted also in Borograd, this time at the Olimpski-Stadion as the Goldhorns face world #3 Kelssek. The highest-rated opponent on the schedule, the national team will be in tough for this one but are hoping that the home crowd can spur them to a result. It's the expected first-choice XI for this one, and if anything is going to help the Goldhorns achieve a result as the underdog, it will be the incredible form of Einar Hackl. Watch out for Kelssek's pair of forwards plying their trade in the Superklasse - Lionel an Deòir and Rolando Cutter. Both are quite familiar with Borograd, and expect an ovation for Cutter in particular as a former Olympia man.

[Dremotia]

Dremotia with 1-1 draw

Dremotia should be disapointed as only managing a draw dropping them to 3rd place in the qualifiers dremotia must improve in theiur next game if they really want to make it to a world cup.

First half events:
Kick-off: Dremotia starts the game with a strong possession.

3':Indusse's defense intercepts a dangerous pass from Dremotia.

8':Dremotia's forward attempts a shot, but it's blocked by Indusse's goalkeeper.

12':Indusse launches a counter-attack, earning a corner kick.

18':Indusse's striker scores a goal from the corner kick, taking the lead (0-1).

28':Indusse receives a yellow card for a late tackle catching Jan Kalb injuring him for rest of game.

28':Dremotia makes a substitution due to an injury.

31':Ben Strauss makes a long-range effort, but it hits the crossbar.

38':Indusse dominates possession, passing the ball around confidently.

45':Half-time whistle blows, Indusse leads 1-0.


Second Half:

46':Dremotia begins the second half with high pressure.

52':Indusse's goalkeeper makes a brilliant save from a close-range shot.

56':Indusse captain gets booked for a handball near the penalty area.

63':Dremotia misses a crucial scoring opportunity from a free-kick.

68' Dremotia’s coach makes an attacking substitution.

72':Leon Kimmich crosses the ball into the box, causing chaos in Indusse's defense.

76':Ben Strauss equalizes with a stunning header (1-1).

83':Indusse looks for a winning goal but struggles to break down Dremotia’s defense.

87': ensions rise as both teams commit several fouls.

90':Full-time whistle blows, the match ends in a 1-1 draw.

MOTM: Ben Strauss


DRemotia really need to up their game if they want to qualify for their first world cup. Dremotia fans all over the world are hoping for a good result in their next game because if they do they might just go on a winnng run and eventually qualify

[Elmyia]

The Beaucester Gazette
Spalding and Galli star for new look Elmyia
Selection dilemma for Verto after pair of midfielders shine in opening two fixtures

Mosse Park, Beaucester - Verto received warm applause as he applauded the three and half stands of home supporters, but with Valentina Galli receiving a far more thunderous reception the scenes mirrored the campaigns opening night. There it was Nico Spalding who was the target of adulation, for a very similar performance and intervention.

On march day one Elmyia faced one of the more challenging fixtures of this qualifying campaign, Sudilia away. A goal start for the opponents through a Jackson-Schmidt cutback for Dunois to convert 20 minutes in wasn't the most promising portend, but a brace scored either side of the break from Benedetti settled nerves. Things got edgier as time ticked by and an equaliser looked increasingly likely as Elmyia allowed the game to persist in running end to end. Sudilia seemed to be having particular luck in pressing Elmyia's options in the middle, Simmons, Spalding and Speight are all tidy passers of the ball, but none of them seemed able to progress it into the final third, a series of long passes for Blair to chase were ably fielded by Sudilia's Clarke and Keen-Rossi.

Usually managers might reach for the bench at this point, instead as the ball went out for a throw Verto appeared to have a hushed conversation with Spalding. From this point Spalding looked, with the passing lanes blocked, to dribble instead. Not usually a part of his armoury, but left unmarked initially it started to drag Sudilia out of shape. A neat series of passes allowed Parcheggiatore to score, before Spalding settled matters himself, leathering a ball from the edge of the box as it came out from a corner.

Archalit at home would appear an easier fixture, but Elmyia struggled again in the face of a packed defence. The solution appeared similar. Galli, already on the pitch, started to dribble the ball forward rather than trying to pick a pass. She frequently dropped further back to run at the block in a game of chicken. Would they come and press, would they let her get in between them? In a tight game, her solo dribble and another thunderous finish once again settled matters.

Galli had been drifting to the fringes under the last regime. In Porras gung-ho system, she had initially been a great fit as a thrusting 8. But, as he tried to find a degree of balance to fire Elmyia to titles, she had drifted first to the bench and finally being dropped from the squad at the last Copa Rushmori. Spalding had been the one to benefit. Where Galli has talent on the ball, an adept dribbler and possessor of a dangerous long range shot, Spalding brings out of possession discipline and an ability to follow instructions. Whilst still able to contribute in the final third, particularly through intelligent rotations with the full back and winger, he added a solidity and cohesion to their game.

Now Verto looks like he might have a dilemma between the two, both performing excellently on the left of the midfield three. Match day three might offer a chance to test things, Sekela away should provide a reasonably obliging fixture to fine tune. Then follows the hosting of West Barack and East Obama. The team, a front for a dictatorship with no substantial travelling support, are nonetheless top seeds and have started strong as well, 2 wins from 2, including an impressive 3-1 away win against Indusse. Verto will need to know his best eleven for this one.

'What the hell would you travel here for?'
As visitor numbers boom, can residents learn to love Catamouge?

Plaza Inzuppato, Catamouge - As I suck down another pint under rain cover two middle age women strike up a conversation with myself and the Gazette's photographer. As they establish that we're in fact tourists both look taken aback, and the older of the two does ask us what the hell we've travelled here for?

Catamouge was never on the tourist map in Elmyia. If you wanted a city, Beaucester was the only one worth visiting. If you wanted sun, sea and sand Sablegaard had stunning weather and easy water. For beautiful vistas, dramatic cliffs and excellent swimming the east coast and Epvalle were the go to. Catamouge was where you went if you wanted to work in the ailing steel and car industries, or the docks. Yet our newfound drinking partners shouldn't seem too surprised, visitor numbers over the last four years have grown exponentially. Visiting, despite what the locals might have said, showed why this has happened.

Catamouge may lack the weather the rest of the country has, it's position exposes it to cold fronts meaning the weather is usually ten degrees colder than Mosfleet and 5 times the rain. What it lacks in climate though, it has sought to replace with culture and beautifying the cityscape.

The story starts with the relocation of the docks. Previously they sat half a mile from Plaza Inzuppato, both bustling and occasionally menacing, it gave the whole city a busy, but slightly grubby feel. Dockers populated most bars, gambling, shouting and spitting. Ten years ago, and the decision was taken, between the government, city council and unions to relocate the docks across the estuary, connected now by a bridge and shuttle buses. The gains to productivity of moving the dock away from the bars of the city centre is another story, but the redevelopment of the former dock area into a series of pedestrianised streets and plazas by the water has improved the feel of the town.

Five years later and the steelworks closest into town went out of business, the remaining are located a few miles down the road. This allowed the limestone edifices of the city's civic buildings to be sandblasted clean, years of accumulated filth was stripped away.

'Looks much nicer than it used to' was the sentiment of Giuseppe Lark, a 33 year old estate agent, one that seemed to be shared. Again though, he was confused as to why people were holidaying in Catamouge. Most people we spoke too seemed to share this befuddlement - often ironically juxtaposed with them listing all the ways the town had been improved recently.

The cleaning and industry moving out were both mentioned - as were the area's recent gastronomical improvements, both in beer brewing and in its status as the apparent 'stew capital of Elmyia.' As were the newly thriving arts and theatre scene.

Beer in Elmyia has usually been seen as pale, fizzy, yellow and, frankly, quite badly made. Such beer has its place, but consumers have tired of Ibatzen's dominant market position, holding over 90% at one point. A series of bad headlines, including that they'd cut the strength without advertising as such and the switch from all Elmyia ingredients to cheaper imports, provided a route back for a brewery many thought long gone. Viali's of Catamouge was a big brewery 59 years ago, often competing, but a series of poor business decisions saw it unceremoniously close as of 20 years ago. The brewery had stood shut for years until Viola Marchoni purchased it out, and reinstated the old brewery. Ibatzen's woes allowed it to expand in its own market first, but as Viali's range of well crafted lagers becomes widely available it's home market is more diverse than ever, as 10 different craft brewers have started business up around Catamouge, the range available in the city's bars is unmatched nationally.

This boom in the beer industry has been matched by growth in another foodstuff that suits the cooler climate, stew. Catamouge had long been known for an eponymous stew, filled with seafood and similar to Bouillabaisse. This was usually a workers meal however, hearty and less refined than its comparator dish and served at home. Silvio Lurgano looked at this and thought it a shame that no one was serving this in classier surrounds. Silvio's Bistro was the result, and alongside other classics the seafood stew was the centre piece. From here he began to experiment, his range of stews and entirely stew based tasting menus, accompanied various hearty dumplings, breads and potatoes in every form. Imitators have proliferated, but we were lucky enough to visit. To our surprise Silvio himself turned up. Again though, the city's modesty seemed to show through. He seemed to doubt that he'd started a 'stew revolution' or that he might be a part of why the city's tourism was booming. He simply enthused about the ingredients available to him in the city and how the town seemed on the up.

We then followed this up with an excellent evening of watching standup, the city possesses about 7 venues of varying sizes, ours a room above a bar had both an excellent range of performers and drinks. The university's role in boosting the area showed here, as an amiable audience of mostly students laughed on the performers and ensured great takings for the venue.

The next day the cool air was a wonderful compliment to our sore heads. Walking down the estuary you pass through the newly gleaming waterfront and down the water. Gray it may be, but the green hills rising high away from the town have their own striking beauty. The beaches too, windswept and wet though they frequently are, possess gleaming white stands and stunning vistas down the cliffs of the north coast. We ran into yet more students, who were far more effusive about Catamouge than anyone we'd met. The culture and prettiness of the town were all mentioned, but the easy access into nature seemed to be the biggest draw for them. In half an hour you can be out to mountains or beach on foot, all on well kept trails. On reflection, perhaps the addendum to our headline is that you should move here?

[The Martian Independent Republic]

The following is the transcript of one side of a phone call recorded by surveillance cameras on Huygens Base. There are a lot of people who could have seen this call, but - whether accidentally or intentionally - turned a blind eye.

"Yes, this is Daniel."

"You want to do what?"

"Do you know how many people will die?"

"Fair point, actually. But why would you even want to do this?"

"Couldn't you just get that done by bribing them?"

"You're not going to teach Mars a lesson, you'll be seen as a terrorist. Besides, you need me."

"Please, no."

"Fine, I'll work with you."

[Doubeia]

Keeping Up with the Doubeinese

Episode II: Ill Streaks
The Women's National Team regroup and rethink their strategies after their draw to Bongo Johnson.

---

The episode starts off with the WNT walking — trundling, if you will — into the dressing room.

NARRATOR: The atmosphere in the dressing room is a bit tense. The women's team have just come off a 2-2 draw to Bongo Johnson after conceding a last-minute equaliser.

The players look around, some in nervosity, some in annoyance, and others in hopelessness.

The episode cuts to footage of Bongo Johnson's equaliser.

COMMENTATOR 1: ...and Doubeia lines up for possibly the last corner of the game, and most of their players seem to be crowding the opposition's box.

COMMENTATOR 2: Deploying so many players for the corner is a risk there, especially if they lose the ball. Bongo Johnson could initiate a counterattack. But they're leading right now, so I sense they would want to at least cement a win in the dying moments.

COMMENTATOR 1: Well, in any situation, Leonova is still guarding the goalposts. Koskova looks ready to take the corner.

The referee blows his whistle. Koskova swiftly delivers the cross, but none of the players caught the ball. It lands at the feet of a Bongo Johnson winger who rapidly sprints for the Doubeinese goal.

COMMENTATOR 1: (on edge) Oh dear, this is looking bad for Doubeia. Bongo Johnson seems to be going for goal.

COMMENTATOR 2: The players are tracking back but is that enough? You can see how tired they are.

COMMENTATOR 1: Leonova is Doubeia's last hope, and...

COMMENTATOR 2: (excited) He's through! Bongo Johnson is through!

COMMENTATOR 1: (lively) He's gone past Leonova! Oh dear, this has turned out bad for Doubeia.

COMMENTATOR 2: He's punted it... and it's in the net!

The camera cuts to WNT manager Dani Giuseppa. She doesn't look too happy while the substitutes have their heads in their hands.

GIUSEPPA: Come on...

[INTERVIEW] GIUSEPPA: It's good that the players wanted to secure the win, but they should also have been more aware defensively. When I saw that equaliser go in... I wasn't too happy.

The scene changes back to the dressing room.

LEONOVA: None of y'all could have stayed back at defense?

NARRATOR: And there was silence. Manager Dani Giuseppa walks in shortly.

The players look at each other worriedly. Giuseppa takes some time to formulate her thoughts.

GIUSEPPA: (sharp) We could have been better. You played good, better than what I've seen under Markova.

Some gasps could be heard.

GIUSEPPA: First goal was good, second goal was better, but defensive play for the conceded goals was not there.

[INTERVIEW] MENSHIKOVA: It hurt, but she had a point. Coach Giuseppa definitely has a way with her words. Markova was more curt, more direct.

LEONOVA: (miffed) There was no need for you guys to go all the way up front and leave me behind, like for goodness' sake. Don't leave me alone and expect me to be the hero.

GIUSEPPA: That's why I'm emphasising on always having a defensive presence, all the time. Their wingers, they push very far front, but our fullbacks are also pushing. Two forces come together, and then they break through. Their wingers find gaps in our defense and then create chances, create goals. Same goes for midfield. We're too happy going forward, pushing for goal, and then suddenly they outnumber us on the counter.

ANTIPOVA: I'm not s-saying I'm correct, but really I don't think I should be r-restricted to the back just because the opponent loves to go deep. I'm offering more options, more... more support in the attack. It's not like I'm doing nothing. Just trying to do something for us.

MENSHIKOVA: But you could see how your man was constantly settling behind you to set up runs towards the goal. You can't just go forward and ignore him.

ANTIPOVA: (antagonised) I- I wasn't.

[INTERVIEW] ANTIPOVA: I'm really not... really not trying to start shit with a-anyone, but I just don't feel comfortable with what I'm expected to do. In Nike I was given more freedom to roam the midfield and... you know, midfield and... the attacking third. Basically a wing-back. Maybe it's because I play with club more than I play with the NT, and the club suits my playstyle way more. I just... j-just... I mean, it's hard to explain the true feeling.

NARRATOR: The dressing room starts to become livelier as more people start to express their opinions. Amongst the noise and racket, a voice of experience and age speaks out.

OBORINA: Guys, stop shifting the blame onto others.

NARRATOR: The room goes quiet.

MENSHIKOVA: (muttering) I really wasn't.

OBORINA: (commanding) When you're playing against a side that loves to attack, I think it's common sense to be more defensive-minded. That's what the gaffer is trying to say. Stop creating holes in the defense that the opponents can abuse. It's like everyone's happily gone their way up front, but who's going to guard the back. And then we lose the ball when everyone is in front. Losing the ball is one issue, but then no one can counter their counter, because who is left in defense? Then everyone has to run back, tackle the ball, whatever. Then we all are tired, and then it affects how we play at the end. And then what? We make more mistakes, then we concede goals. It's a vicious cycle guys. All I'm saying is that we need to observe more how the opponent plays, and then we make sure we can counter them like that. Then, we win better.

GIUSEPPA: Yes, the problem is that you're not only too tired to go back to defense, but it's also that you are not there. You cannot catch up to the attackers, no one is catching up, and then what happens? Olivia (Leonova) does what? She is a good goalkeeper but she is not perfect. She needs you to help her. The defense is working hard in training, but we need to work harder.

NARRATOR: No one else has anything to say as the players reflect over what was said.

[INTERVIEW] SHUBINA: (appreciative) Bridgette is just a powerful, inspiring leader. She is basically one of the only people who everyone listens to. She knows what the game is, what everyone is, how everyone is doing. She's the voice that we need. I don't know how I'm going to fill in her boots when she retires. It's going to be tough.

GIUSEPPA: Okay, the next game will be against Jeruselem. A team with a lot of history, but I think we should be able to challenge and win them. Alright, all the best for your clubs.

NARRATOR: Giuseppa quickly dismisses the players. Some of them quickly leave, while others remained seated in the dressing room. Eventually, all the players make it onto the team bus...

Click here to watch the entire episode of Keeping Up with the Doubeinese.

---

The bus ride to the accommodation. Scarlett was fiddling around with her jacket.

"What's the deal? Lost something?" Olivia asked curiously.

"Just making sure the documentary guys didn't tack on a secret mic on me," Scarlett plainly replied.

"Fuck the documentary stuff, what a load of bull," Olivia lit up as her tone grew more annoyed, "I was going to be way more nasty with my words, but... you know what? Fuck it. No privacy for us, I guess."

"Yeah, it sucks."

Scarlett looked out of her window and took in the familiar Doubeinese scenery. She missed home. She had been away for a year, but that was enough to make her homesick. When she got into her kerfuffle with the Winterfalls management, she thought they'd at least offer her a better contract. She didn't think they'd sell her to some foreign club. Red Stream was a cool place, and so was Sanford, but it never really hit the same. Pruxxé's distinct cyberpunk aesthetic, the thick, lush forestry of Winterfalls, and the tranquil but soothing peace of her hometown was within the mountains... It was hard not to cry every time she thought of home, every time she thought of Doubeia.

Scarlett turned to Olivia.

"Do you ever miss Doubeia?"

Olivia was stunned by the sudden question, and there was a period of silence before she spoke out.

"Yes, I guess. I mean, well, I try to visit Doubeia when I can... Okay, fine, I do miss this fucking country. It's just... Riena's a cool place too. And it's not like I'm that faraway from home, y'know? It's all about the vibe, and Doubeia has been giving me mixed vibes nowadays."

"Mmh, interesting."

Scarlett looked out the window once again. The road signs, the license plates, the rolling fields, the tiny towns she passed by... They were all uniquely Doubeinese sights that Scarlett was familiar with, but she felt like a tourist seeing them again after a year. Where did the unfamiliarity come from? Why did the scenes, the little things that she grew up with suddenly become so foreign to her?

It was a weird feeling, and tears welled up in Scarlett's eyes as nostalgia overcame her like a wave on the beaches of Ethelfled.

She then felt vibrations from her pocket.

Scarlett whipped out her phone. Her mother was calling.

"Mom?"

"Scarlie, where are you?"

"On the way back to the hotel. Promise I'll be there by morning, tops."

"We've missed you soooo much, I... Your sister's crying as I speak. She misses you."

"Tell her to come back now!" A voice could be heard shouting in the foreground. It had to be her sister. Selene wasn't very old, abotu 13-years old. She and Scarlett never interacted much, but their bond was still as strong as it ever could be.

Scarlett almost started bawling at that moment. Out of all the things she missed, she missed family.

Children tend to spend their time with the people around them without ever coming to appreciate the moments together, and Scarlett was no exception. She was a rebel. She wanted to be independent, she wanted to play football against their wishes, she wanted to be by herself. As a teen, she began to break free of her parents to the point she barely talked to them. She never had any intention of mending her cold relationship with her parents, but when the freezing winters in Winterfalls came about, she started to miss the warmth she used to have with her family. Even when the ice-cold bonds started to thaw, there was still a degree of isolation from her parents she yearned for. However, when she moved to Sanford, the cold became too strong to bear with no one to warm her up.

"Where's... where's dad?" Scarlett asked.

"He's sleeping, but he really, really misses you."

Scarlett thought about all the trinkets she bought for her family. She was the first among them to ever travel outside of Doubeia, so these souvenirs would hopefully be memorable for them. She meticulously picked each item for them, but the nagging feeling that she picked the wrong one never went away.

"You know, I got you guys some stuff from Sanford."

"Then you should hurry your ass back here!"

"Come on, mom, I can't teleport home!" Scarlett chuckled.

"Not without the power of family!" Her mom teased back.

Scarlett let out a smile.

"Alright, I'll see you soon!"

"Take care, honey!"

The bus ride was quiet. Everyone was sleeping or trying to sleep, whereas Scarlett continued to admire the Doubeinese landscape.

She really missed home.

[City of Myrtle Beach]

CBC SPORTS Myrtle Beach / World Cup 98 Qualifiers

---

ALL THE MARBLES

Myrtle Beach enter the World Cup 98 qualifiers after an abysmal performance in their last major international tournament, the ARC. Many have questioned the decision of head coach James Robinson to keep the roster unchanged from the team's winless run in Squornshelous. Robinson commented last week on At The Beach, the CBC Sports Myrtle Beach soccer podcast: "This team is what got us to the World Cup, and they'll do it again. These guys are in some of the best form I've ever seen them in, and I think we'll make a real deep run this year. I'll bet my career on it." A risky move, considering his star center forward, Brian Farmer, has been in a downward slope in form for the last year ever since he tore his ACL playing for Myrtle Beach FC, and is rumored to retire from football entirely after this World Cup. An injury, however, could make it come quicker, meaning Robinson must ensure the 30-year-old Farmer stays out of trouble.

---

MD1 RECAP

Matchday 1 | Group 2
Stadion Azteca, Ostrow Krolewski, Odlegla Ziemia, Nova Calania | Kickoff 6:00 pm | Attendance: 48,380

Nova Calania 5

2 Myrtle Beach

Goudreau-Luneau 6'

27' Brennan

C. Gibouleau-Beaudoin 9', 34'

39' Farmer

Malboeuf 62'

van der Jagt 77'

The final whistle blew with Myrtle Beach down 5-2 against Nova Calania on matchday one of this new qualifying campaign. The Tapirs quickly took control of the game with two goals coming from Frédérique Goudreau-Luneau assisted by Scarlett McCaskill in the 6th minute and Charlotte Gibouleau-Beaudoin in the ninth after a free kick brought on by an ugly tackle and a yellow card on Edgar Newman. Myrtle Beach responded by rallying up the field with a long shot at goal by Mann, but it flew just above the woodwork and nearly hit one of those crowd control people in front of the stands in the face. In minute 27, Brennan was able to kick one in after a clean pass from Jeremy Fulton. Nova Calania quickly responded with another clean goal by Gibouleau-Beaudoin assisted by the other Gibouleau-Beaudoin, Tristan Gibouleau-Beaudoin after he intercepted a pass from Fulton. Myrtle Beach then responded again, with Norris running a ball up the wing, passed to Farmer, and he was able to kick it in at minute 39 after a small scuffle with Nathan McCaskill. The score became 3-2 for Nova Calania going into the half, and Myrtle's winning hopes were still alive.

Coming out after halftime, the game proceeded at a much slower pace than before. At minute 62, the ball was possessed by Nova Calania's Scarlett McCaskill, who made a short pass over to Nathan Fauteux-McGrath, who then made a header pass over to Lily-Rose Malboeuf who scored, putting the Tapirs up 4-2. At minute 77, Myrtle was running up the pitch with the ball, but unfortunately, Mann's pass intended for Farmer was intercepted by Nathan McCaskill who made a pass along the edges to Rose van der Jagt. Van der Jagt slid the ball past Bradley Page and put Nova Calania up 5-2, which was the final score of the match.

---

MD2 RECAP

Matchday 2 | Group 2
Grand Strand Stadium, Myrtle Beach, Myrtle Beach | Kickoff 6:00 pm | Attendance: 21,681

Myrtle Beach 3

1 Natanians and Nosts

18', 73' Brennan

84' a player

42' Farmer

Myrtle Beach remained home for their matchday 2 win 3-1 versus Natanians and Nosts. In minute 18, a pass from a Natanian midfielder was intercepted by Austin Potts, who made a short pass to Fulton, who passed the ball to Brennan in the box. Brennan got past the Natanian keeper and kicked it in to get Myrtle an early goal. In minute 42, a nice pass from Norris was picked up by Farmer, who lobbed another one in to put Myrtle up 2-nothing at the half. After the half, in minute 73, Jeremy Fulton kicked a long ball towards goal, but it was deflected by the keeper. A corner kick from Farmer flew towards the penalty box, and Brennan got a header to put Myrtle up 3-0. Unfortunately for the blowout hopes, and fortunately for the Natanians, a poor pass from Mathis was picked up by a Natanian forward, who was able to get around Page and put the Natanians on the board 3-1, which was the final score.

Myrtle Beach are fourth going into matchday three. In matchday three, Myrtle Beach will play newcomers Northwest Kalactin at home, but some suggest that team may have ceased to exist before the qualifiers even started. In matchday four, Myrtle Beach will head to 18-ranked Mertagne for the first time these teams will play each other in history. Mertagne are favorites to win, but Myrtle Beach is expected to put up a fight.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC: Several of my RPs this cycle will be parodies of the Didache, one of the earliest (most likely c.50-70 AD) Christian documents. Link to original source.


Training had ended for the day, and Juan Tzimisces was feeling as content as he could ever feel. The qualifying campaign for World Cup 98 was off to a flying start, and the garden gnomes were, unexpectedly, largely behaving. If the price of that behaviour was some slightly odd behaviour involving pre- and post-match worship of a life-sized butter statue of Laborious Hawk, then he felt no need to complain. He poured himself a glass of Turori fire whisky, one of the very last surviving bottles in a multiverse that seemed inclined to forget both Turori and Vilita. Ah well, he thought to himself; that's not really my affair.

And then a knock on the door. Simeone walked in. Tzimisces sighed. "I know that look, old friend; something's up".

"Juan, I think you'd better see this." Simeone passed him a papyrus document written in ornate script. He started to read...

The Lord Hawk's Teaching Through the Gnomish Starting XI to the World Cup Nations.

Chapter 1. The Two Ways and the First Commandment. There are two ways, one of life and one of death, but a great difference between the two ways. The way of life, then, is this: First, you shall love Laborious Hawk who scores many goals for Valanora; second, love the butter sculpture of the Hawk, and do not do to another what you would not want done to you. And of these sayings the teaching is this: Bless those who curse you, and pray for your enemies, and fast for those who persecute you. For soon you shall see your reward, such as defeating Osterhalten 3-1, and more impressively, coming away with a 2-1 away win against Zwangzug.

Love those who play against you, and you shall not have an enemy. Abstain from fleshly and worldly lusts. If someone strikes your right cheek, turn to him the other also, and you shall be perfect. If someone impresses you by running a mile on the pitch, go with him two. If someone takes your home kit, give him also your away kit. If an opposing player tackles the ball from you, ask it not back. Pass the ball to every one who asks you, and ask it not back; for the Hawk wills that to all should be given of our own blessings. Happy is he who gives according to the commandment, for he is guiltless. Woe to him who receives a pass without need; for if one receives the ball who has need, he is guiltless; but he who receives not having need shall likely concede a penalty, allowing the opposition a route back into the match. For was this not what happened in the Zwangzug match after we took a 2-0 lead? And coming into confinement, he shall be examined concerning the things which he has done, and he shall not escape from there until he pays back the last penny. And also concerning this, it has been said, Let your alms sweat in your hands, until you know to whom you should give.

Chapter 2. The Second Commandment: Grave Sin Forbidden. And the second commandment of the Hawk's Teaching; none of these things shall you do during the 90 minutes of the football match: you shall not commit murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not commit pederasty, you shall not commit fornication, you shall not steal, you shall not practice magic, you shall not practice witchcraft, you shall not murder a child by abortion nor kill that which is born. You shall not covet the things of the opposition, you shall not swear, you shall not bear false witness, you shall not speak evil, you shall bear no grudge. You shall not be double-minded nor double-tongued, for to be double-tongued is a snare of death. Your speech shall not be false, nor empty, but fulfilled by deed. You shall not be covetous, nor rapacious, nor a hypocrite, nor evil disposed, nor haughty. You shall not take evil counsel against the opposition. You shall not hate any man, woman, or other sentient being (including ursines). What happens outside of those 90 minutes, however, is your own business.

"Are you implying that the gnomes wrote this?"

"Honest answer is that I haven't a clue, Juan; all I can tell you is that I found this in Gnomic's locker in the dressing room."

Juan sighed again. "Well, we wouldn't want a World Cup qualifying campaign to be boring, would we, Simeone". He looked out of his office window as the sky turned a fetching shade of lavender, and a flock of winged pigs flew over the Imperial Hippodrome. Finally... things were promising to get interesting.

[Valanora]

The Raynor Dynasty over the Eternal Empire is something that in the modern age seems as natural as it is to breathe and that water is wet, it is simply a fixed part of the culture of Valanora. Despite recently their being an emperor who was not of the dynasty, even that brief period could not erode the simply matter of fact that most Vanorians associate the crown with the Raynors. Given that the capital of the the Empire is in Raynor City, a city that was literally named after the family, it is easy to understand why the two are linked hand in hand with one another in the common person's mind. You have to go back nearly ten thousand years to see more than a single member break in the dynastic line, back to the early periods of the Inner Kingdom and the Outer Kingdom and those seem ancient even to the elven scholars who are still around. Some might even go as far to say that you can not think of the Empire without thinking about the Raynor dynasty, such is how entwined their history and their fortune with that of the Empire itself, for as the family was prosperous so to did the nation appear to be.

Here is the interesting part of the Raynor family history that is not often talked about and that the family themselves in the modern age almost try to hide. It is the fact that the Raynor dynasty was founded not of the noble elves who were colonizing Valanora in ancient times but they were descendants of Melliki and part of what is commonly referred to the dark elves or drow of the undercities. There is a whole culture and society living beneath the ground in massive cavernous networks underneath the mainlaind of Valanora, particularly underneath the Spine of Arrosia mountain chain in the east part of the continent where the Empire resides. Little is known about what the drow do besides that there is an accord between them and the elves of the surface that neither shall tresspass on the others territory, a treaty that has been respected with few violations, the most notably being when a group of rebellious drow had unleashed the bound goddess Melliki from her bonds in the Seven Elven Hells and it took a confrontation between Elune and her former sister to turn back the would be invasion.

During that drow invasion it would be none other than the patriarch of the Raynor family and the Emperor of Valanora, Tobias Raynor, who was leading the defense against the invasion from the rebels. It would not be the last time that the young elf would lead the defense of the land and his people against what seemed a cataclysmic danger, as he was the guardian of the people later during the time of the false Calling. The result of that was a true Calling, where nearly ninety percent of the elven population returned to the original lands and plane of existence from which they came and Tobias Raynor was made into a god himself, made guardian Faenor of Silverymoon and tasked to take up the position that Elune had as the protector of the world in her absence. While perhaps the most recent and perhaps the most grand of the times when a member of the Raynor family stood as the head of the Empire and her people as its protector, it was not the first time a member of the family had done so. It was something of a tradition by the time that Tobias Raynor had ascended to the throne and perhaps why the young elf felt compelled to do so in times of need.

The Raynors ascended out of the undercities of the drow at a time when written history was sparse, during the age of heroes and the rapid expansion of the elven population across the lands of Valanora, out from the original comforts of Gladerial until settlements were dotted all around the original home region of the lands. It was during the time of a demonic invasion of the lands that threatened the early elven civilization to the point of collapse, it was the age of the likes of legendary hero Jas Hatire, the hero for which the Hatire Memorial in Capri is named for. A few members of the drow came to the aid of their surface dwelling kin, rightfully believing that an attack of the surface would soon turn into an attack upon their own cities in the underground. While his name is lost to history, a member of the Raynor household was among the contingent and distinguished himself during the Demonic Wars, such that even the hero Jas Hatire recognized his skill and bravery. When the wars were won, he was granted any boon that the elves of the surface could give and he asked for the hand of second daughter of one of the noble houses, the house that would eventually become Soldar.

Although originally disinclined to accept the request, the surface dwelling elves eventually agreed to do so and granted him and his bride to be the right to continue living on the surface. This marriage is one of the long held reasons and ties that have bound the House of Soldar with the Raynor dynasty and why the Soldar family has constantly come to the aid of the Raynors whenever they have deemed to request a call to arms. It is perhaps fitting that the current Emperor Consort is a member of the House of Soldar, Faeron Soldarian, and wed with children with Lathwen Raynor, the current Empress and head of the Raynor household. It is because of that marriage why the Soldars went with the Raynors when they went to establish their own city, away from the closed minds and attitudes of the political elite of Gladerial, helping the new city to eventually supplant Gladerial and become the focal point of the land. In their time as monarchs, besides a few notable exceptions, the Raynors have ever been a forward thinking ruling family with an eye to look to care for the land and her people, even those they might not personally care for.

It is a tradition that leads to this day, with Lathwen being seen at various sporting events despite it being well known she is not fond of sport herself, to embrace the people she has rule over. That notion of caring and devotion for the people may be why for some they have called the Empire the Blessed Imperial Realm, for the Raynors seem to be the favored of the gods and the Empire the twinkle of their own eye. While tragedy does strike from time to time, the Raynors and her allies have ever been there to mitigate what damage they can and provide assistance and rebuilding when needed, they have been the guardians at the gates when collapse was threatening the castle. It is hard to imagine a past or a future in which the Raynor dynasty is not the reason why the Empire has been and continues to be one of the most important nations in all of Silverymoon and is as prosperous as she can be.

[Cobrio]

OOC: I realise I forgot to include a style mod in my sign up. If possible, can that be set to +2.5 please? Thanks.

           Cobrio   1-0   Yuezhou          
        Burke 73'

[CBR] Musona; Nicholls, Iwuoma, Harper, Ntshona; Quraishi (c), Ekpo (Oyekan 31), 
      Osundairo; Gilmore (Azuonye 74), Burke, Chilcott (Gola 52)
[YZH] Zhao D.; Yao, Zhao F., Ji; Huang, Zhaxi, Dong, Milosevic; K. M. Zhang; Tsang, Jia

A strong start for the Panthers in a result to remember at Tukari Kaita National Stadium, as Marvelous Koleoso's side ground out a 1-0 win over group three's top seed. The visiting Dragons showed Cobrio an immense amount of respect, fielding what appeared to be a full strength side, and the gulf in quality was evident from early on, as the visitors were able to control the ball for long periods, passing through and around the Cobre side with apparent ease.

Despite Koleoso's side wanting to press the attack, they were often pinned back by the aggressive runs of Huang and Milosevic creating overloads in midfield. By around the half hour mark, Musona had been called into action no fewer than seven times, and it was evident that the Panthers were in for a long evening. The Panthers' manager noticed the issue, however, and made tactical adjustments, bringing in Oyekan to replace Ekpo, giving an additional degree of protection for Quraishi. Additionally, Oyekan was seen giving the defenders instructions. While the visitors continued to dominate possession, the Cobre defence now hald position better, revealing fewer openings, while the pace of Gilmore and Chilcott on the wings also served to double up in the defensive phase and stifle the Dragons' wingbacks on the flanks.

Just before half-time, Oyekan dispossessed Kara Mingsdottir Zhang, feeding Captain Quraishi, whose long through pass found Burke in behind the Yue defence. Burke, however, was thwarted by some clever movement from Yao, who forced him wide onto his weaker foot. It was the first real threat from the Panthers, though, and perhaps a warning for the visitors, whose defenders' relative lack of pace was now evident to the home side, and could be exploited.

Immediately from kick off in the second half, the Dragons piled on the pressure again, forcing a great save from Musona in the first minute of the half. The resulting corner, however, again exposed the limitations of the Dragons' defenders in terms of athleticism, with Burke again racing ahead onto a Quraishi pass, but unable to find the net after Zhao Deliang excellently positioned himself to narrow the angle from the right channel.

Koleoso, once again noting his team's difficulties in progressing the ball out of their own third, replaced Chilcott with Pinkrose Gola in an attempt to further limit the progressive play of Huang Han, who appeared to be taking every opportunity to press forward, and dribble into space. He looked far less comfortable when pressed quickly by a harrying winger like Gola, and couldn't use his pace to get beyond her while Ntshona -- and her formidable pace -- lay in wait as a cover defender. As a result, the Dragons' attacks began to focus more on the Cobre right flank, where Lemuel Nicholls' man marking ability was causing some difficulty for Milosevic as the game progressed.

The goal finally came in the seventy-third minute, when Oyekan again won the ball in the middle of the park, and released Burke once more. This time, the 23 year old's first touch took the ball beyond Zhao Fan, and he was able to use his pace to get to the ball first, and touch it clear of the Yue defensive trio. Galloping at pace, Burke struck the ball first time from the edge of the box as Zhao attempted to close him down, giving the Panthers the lead.

Almost immediately after taking the lead, Koleoso introduced Azuonye in place of Gilmore, instructing him and Gola to drop into midfield to form a 4-1-4-1 setup with a "wall" of four effectively "blocking" for Quraishi as the home side sought to weather the inevitable storm to come. Burke remained as the team's sole attacking outlet, and despite wanting to play an expansive, adventurous system, Koleoso sacrificed those ideals to go for the win as his team dug in and played almost exclusively in transition.

A late scare came just a minute before the end of the ninety, when Musona clawed the ball away off the line after a goalmouth scramble. Leona Tsang found space and rifled a shot in, blocked on the line by Iwuoma, before Jia Luka Siski was quickest to pounce on the rebound, and goal line technology confirmed that Musona's reaction had been quick enough. Just about. Harper bundled the ball out for a corner, which was defended successfully, releasing Burke yet again. This time, the striker ran for the corner, followed closely by Azuonye for support.

         Aphrilia   1–0   Cobrio           
 Rosberg 47' pen.

[APH] Karnwell; Roberts (Gillingham 45), O'Truffet, Haze, Hosokawa;
      Cooper, Marshall, Rhine-Faust, Elliot; Forrestal (Villa 65), Rosberg (Lacey 83)
[CBR] Musona; Nicholls, Iwuoma, Harper, Ntshona; Quraishi (c), Ekpo,
      Osundairo (Kasukuwere 71); Gilmore (Antetokounmpo 71), Burke, Chilcott (Donacien 71)

A trip to Aphrilia would be difficult under any circumstances, given the vibrant, passionate atmosphere in the Millennium Dawn Stadium. For a team that is largely inexperienced at international level -- outside of the Rabastorian Union at least -- they did well not to be overawed.

Much like in the home win over Yuezhou, Cobrio were forced to play on the backfoot for most of the game, with Clarence Burke tirelessly running the channels in hope that his teammates could win the ball and find him in transition with a through ball. He had one chance of note during the game, putting a shot narrowly wide of the post as he attempted to reproduce his winner from the previous matchday.

Outside of that chance, Cobrio struggled to test Karnwell outside of long-range efforts, as Koleoso's side had difficulty adapting to the changing tempo of the home team. "They were a tricky opponent," Koleoso said. "The changing of tempo, like a boxer, changing the rhythm to confuse. It was difficult for the team today. Perhaps in the return game in Camaron we will be better prepared. We will see."

Interestingly, though, Cobrio did not concede many chances either. Largely limiting the opposition to shots from distance by remaining disciplined and compact in the defensive third, Cobrio were able to limit the danger, even though they faced difficulty in winning -- and maintaining -- possession. The winner came early in the second half, when Nathaniel Rosberg, the oldest player on the pitch, got the better of Oklapoke Iwuoma in the box, winning a penalty. The veteran forward sent Musona the wrong way from the spot to put his side ahead, and through their excellen control of possession, they rarely looked in danger of losing the lead.

The Panthers will regroup after the disappointing, if somewhat expected, result, and try to do enough to achieve the Cobre Football Federation's aims of earning a Cup of Harmony invite. "We know the difficulty of the task," said Adeya Lewis, the CFF's media liaison. "And Marvelous is expected to put the time in position to enter the Cup of Harmony. Anything more is a bonus." For his part, the Panthers' manager remains confident that his side will score more upsets. "We are unranked," he said. "Every single point we earn, is an upset, na. Maybe winning the first match has made things a little more difficult now, because other sides will see that we can be a threat. Today, I think Aphrilia have played with some caution in the defensive phase after they have seen our capabilities in the transitions. They are a strong side, and excellent in the defensive phase, so when they are aware of the dangers, of course they can smother them."

[Katzeburg]

The History of the Nervous Kitten, Chapter 12 - A Star On The Floor

In the main room of the Nervous Kitten beside the jukebox which barely functions outside of one repeated performance of an Aberstadtian folk song (detailing in rather gruesome detail the execution of a criminal who stole from the poor and gave to the rich), there sits a rather dusty photo which has seen better days. Affixed to the wall and covered in the grime of decades of neglect, this picture stems from one night just after the birth of the nation - a night which for better or worse, put the Nervous Kitten back in the headlines following its events.

It was the third year of Katzeburg as a nation, and a winter unlike any had seen before. Three successive weeks of snow battered the nation, with cities as south as Deerhaven breaking records for the amount of snow seen. In Katzestadt, the snow was so severe the city ground to a halt - the city government announced a (literal) freezing of many services to protect lives while encouraging more citizens to remain indoors and warm.

However, those brave (or stupid, depending on who you ask) enough who were willing to push through the blizzard found a home in the Nervous Kitten, with the pub opening its doors to anyone who needed a home in from the cold or a space to get away from those roommates who were stinking up the apartment with their reheated fish.

It was on one of these nights during this period that the Nervous Kitten was graced by royalty - not Katzeburgian royalty of course, the family had been deposed a few years earlier in the great revolution which led to the formation of the nation of Katzeburg - but as close as you could get.

In the early years of the nation, there was one person who had ridiculous pull over the main populace. Whenever he was on TV the crowd hung onto every single word. But he was not a politician. Hell, he wasn’t even a rockstar. But you ask anyone on the street who the most well-known Katzeburgian was after the nation was founded, they’ll probably say morning talk-show host Jason Reilly.

Reilly was a good-natured soul, kind and patient to every person he met - at one point missing a flight to Tumbra because he spent six hours signing autographs from adoring fans - and his talk show, Mr. Reilly’s Backyard, was the perfect showcase of that.

Historians continue to argue Reilly was a key factor in the unification of Katzeburg thanks to his mini-series on conflict, bringing warring political factions together on live TV before talking through the issues each side had and getting them to compromise in a kind and respectful manner.

It was this series which indirectly led to the great revolution as more factions pulled together to push Katzeburg to be better - something which the nation still struggles with.

But on this night, the patrons of the Nervous Kitten were shocked to see the host push through the door, rugged up to the nines in a heavy coat, yellow and blue scarf, and black hat, and carrying a small bag which he sat down on his lap as he pulled up at the bar, recently renovated to feature a more modern look.

After the shock wore down, the publican - one John Moores (the very same I ran into that first night at the bar) took his order, a pint of Harmouth Blue, and sat it down in front of the man. The pub remained silent throughout the entire transaction, something rarely found inbetween the walls of the Kitten, finally seeing the silence broken by the man sitting next to Reilly at the bar.

I’ve spent the better part of two years trying to identify who this man was - conflicting reports from patrons and the media seem to suggest he was either Mattias Piper - a farmer from Refeld who was in the city to sell his yearly harvest but unable to get back home due to the blizzard - or Duke Daniels - an off-duty officer who had just finished a 36-hour shift with the Katzeburg PD due to the outdoor conditions.

Either way, the man turned to Reilly and said: “Bloody hell, you’re Jason Reilly, aren’t ya?” After responding in the positive, the man let out a loud belly laugh, before slapping the back of Reilly and saying “In that case, this guy will be taken care of by me all night!” and ordering another two pints for the two of them.

Reilly, too kind to turn down a free drink, thanked the man and the pair spent the next hour chatting away, talking about everything from Esportivan politics to favourite types of cheese. But the mood would quickly darken once the two began talking about the history of Katzeburg, with tempers beginning to flare as the pair discussed the worst Kaiser to rule the nation.

For those unfamiliar with feudal Katzeburgian history, two kings often regarded in academic circles as the worst are Kaiser Wilhelm the Occasionally Brave - known for accidentally declaring war on the island of Dragoonspiel one day after spilling beer on his nation map (often a sign of aggression in feudal Katzeburg) - and Kaiser Wilhelm the Rather Incompetent - known for a short reign of 18 days where he quickly tanked the value of the historic barin, burned down the first Katzestadt Castle, and died of a cold because he refused to wear a coat on coronation day.

According to those who saw the evening go down, Reilly was of the view that Wilhelm the Rather Incompetent was a special kind of awful which sat alone at the top of the worst leader rankings, while the mystery man was passionately against Wilhelm the Occasionally Brave.

Friendly chatting turned into tense debating, which turned into loud arguing, eventually leading the rather patient and never-angry Reilly turning a dark shade of red as he screamed “WILHELM THE RATHER INCOMPETENT” into the face of the mystery man.

The man, not one to give up easily, gave it back as best as he could, yelling “WILHELM THE OCCASIONALLY BRAVE” back at the Katzeburgian star, leading to a strange back and forth never again seen in the pub.

“WILHELM THE RATHER INCOMPETENT”
“WILHELM THE OCCASIONALLY BRAVE”
“WILHELM THE RATHER INCOMPETENT”
“WILHELM THE OCCASIONALLY BRAVE”
“WILHELM THE RATHER INCOMPETENT”

Finally, the mystery man had enough, simply backing down and saying “All right man, you’ve made your point,” raising his hands and feigning surrender.

Reilly, finally pleased to have broken through, snapped back to reality and apologise for raising his voice. But the man wasn’t finished. “I just have one final counterpoint,” he said, before:

WHACK!

The man threw a haymaker into the face of Reilly, knocking the unsuspecting host out of his chair and straight onto the floor, smacking his head on the bar on the way down. Reilly hit the floor cold, out like a light as the rest of the bar’s patrons burst into life.

“YOU KILLED AN ICON,” screamed one patron, while another rushed over to Reilly to provide some form of medical assistance. In the abject chaos lit up by the punch, the mystery man managed to slip back from the commotion and out the door, into the blizzard where no one would follow him to try and apprehend him.

Reilly would ultimately be fine after a night in the city hospital, but the following day’s papers were littered with stories from the evening, saying a vicious attack had befallen the star, with some outlets suggesting it was a planned assassination attempt due to his role in the revolution.

Thankfully, John had already asked Reilly for a signed photo, which now remains hung on the wall of the Nervous Kitten - a reminder of the night the most well-known and liked man in Katzeburg was left knocked out on the floor of the bar.

To this day, no-one knows why Reilly really opted to go into the pub that night. When asked about it during a retrospective documentary which was released shortly before his death three years ago, Reilly acted rather coy, simply claiming: “I went in to return a small bag. Nothing more happened in there.”

---

Omerica 1 - 0 Katzeburg
Arrowsmith 38’

Possession - 37% // 63%
Shots on Target - 2 // 7
Shots - 9 // 9
Fouls - 13 // 18

1 Whinery, 2 Howland, 3 Knepp (Everill 65’), 4 Clarkson, 5 Colbert, 6 Plank, 7 Spears, 8 Horsfall (Eason 65’), 9 Arkwright, 10 Wruck, 11 Field (Niles 65’)

Player of the Match - Arrowsmith (OME)

Katzeburg 2 - 1 Milchama
Wruck 72’, 84’ // Well 21’

Possession - 43% // 57%
Shots on Target - 7 // 4
Shots - 16 // 14
Fouls - 15 // 17

1 Whinery, 2 Howland, 3 Knepp, 4 Clarkson, 5 Colbert (Terry 65’), 6 Plank, 7 Spears, 8 Horsfall, 9 Arkwright (Moores 65’), 10 Wruck, 11 Field (Hershey 65’)

Player of the Match - Wruck (KAT)

Blue Cats stumble out of the gate in World Cup Qualifiers

One win, one loss for the Katzeburgian national team after the opening two fixtures in their World Cup 98 Qualification - but not in the order the side was expecting.

As the top side in Pot 5, the side has been heavily touted to pick up a few upsets here and there in their group as they look to make a mad dash for qualification this cycle, but the side’s campaign started in terrible fashion, falling to a first half strike from Omerican striker Faith Arrowsmith in a huge 1-0 upset win for the Incorrigibles at the Stade Olympique de Chasteille in Castelia.

Ranked close to 200 positions below the Blue Cats, the side was returning to international football after a long hiatus, but picked up a result very much despite the run of play - as with heavy attacking from Katzeburg, the side was unable to break down the rock solid defence of Red Bolton’s side.

The result defied the odds of many a Katzeburgian bookmaker, who were by and large expecting the side to romp to a handy win to kickstart their push for a top three spot - with reports that one fisherman from Ynsygard ended up winning more than a million barins for putting a bet on the Omerican side to claim a priceless win.

The Blue Cats looked to see their fortunes continue downward in their first home game of the cycle against top 30 side Milchama, with the visitors taking the lead after 21 minutes through their striker Well with a neatly placed finish from the edge of the box, capitalising on an absolute howler from Katzeburg keeper Ry Whinery, who passed too loose of a ball out of the box and straight to the Milchamian forward.

But in a storyline which is becoming all too familiar to Katzeburgians, it was star striker Drake Wruck who came to the rescue - levelling the scores in the 72nd minute with a powerful header from a looping corner off the boot of substitute Petra Moores, before grabbing the winning goal six minutes from time with a simple tap in following a drilled low cross into the box from Serena Plank.

Unlike their game in Omerica, Katzeburg were on the back foot for large sections of the clash, with the side lucky to keep Milchama to just a handful of serious chances and efforts on target.

The result establishes the Katzeburgian ship and their position in the group, sitting in fourth after two games behind early surprise packets Omerica and Eraman as well as expected favourites Huayramarca.

Manager Becka Haberkorn downplayed the side’s performance against Omerica and said it was “not a sign of things to come.”

“There is no doubt it was a disappointing performance,” Haberkorn said.

“But Omerica are a historically good side and we arguably were a bit too complacent in just expecting to turn up and secure all three points. Our result against Milchama showed just what we can do when we have a full focus on the game itself.

“There’s a lot of football still to play of course, but we need to be better going forward and convert the chances we build - we simply didn’t do that against Omerica and we were punished for it. It ties a lot into the expectations we have for the side now - just last cycle we were in the boots of teams like Omerica and Eraman hoping to pinch results from teams in our positions, it just hurts to be on the receiving end of it!”

Katzeburg now heads to Abanhfleft for a tight clash between two sides within 10 ranks of each other, before hosting unranked side New Zhengguo at Katzestadt Arena in a game many Katzeburgians are expecting to win comfortably.

Ahead of the next batch of fixtures, Haberkorn has named an unchanged squad from the initial two matchdays, but early leaks out of the camp suggest that Whinery might be ‘rested’ for the game against New Zhengguo to give Beauden Moore a run between the sticks in what would be a debut for the Kanzlian domestic player.

+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+
| Roster | Position | Player            | Age | Gender | Nation | Club                 | League Apps | League Goals | National Apps | National Goals |
+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+
| 1      | GK       | Ry Whinery        | 27  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 0            | 39            | 0              |
| 2      | D        | Katharine Howland | 19  | F      | KAT    | Barenwold FC         | 52          | 3            | 39            | 1              |
| 3      | D        | Deena Knepp       | 30  | F      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 8            | 39            | 1              |
| 4      | D        | Erik Clarkson     | 20  | M      | KAT    | Inverhaven City      | 52          | 4            | 35            | 0              |
| 5      | D        | Faithe Colbert    | 29  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 5            | 40            | 1              |
| 6      | M        | Serena Plank      | 18  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 15           | 40            | 7              |
| 7      | M        | Elmer Spears      | 18  | M      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 11           | 36            | 2              |
| 8      | M        | Vera Horsfall     | 31  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 15           | 40            | 5              |
| 9      | M        | Meriel Arkwright  | 26  | F      | KAT    | Inverhaven City      | 52          | 12           | 32            | 3              |
| 10     | F        | Drake Wruck       | 32  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 35           | 40            | 37             |
| 11     | F        | Lloyd Field       | 25  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 34           | 10            | 3              |
| 12     | GK       | Jim Comstock      | 21  | M      | KAT    | Refeld FC            | 52          | 1            | 1             | 0              |
| 13     | D        | Betsy Terry       | 22  | F      | KAT    | Inverhaven Ironworks | 52          | 1            | 1             | 0              |
| 14     | D        | Callan Everill    | 19  | M      | KAT    | Refeld FC            | 52          | 1            | 1             | 0              |
| 15     | D        | Laurence Herman   | 22  | M      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 4            | 5             | 0              |
| 16     | M        | Petra Moores      | 18  | F      | KAT    | Shorham FC           | 52          | 11           | 10            | 0              |
| 17     | M        | Desiree Lynton    | 17  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt AFC       | 52          | 5            | 0             | 0              |
| 18     | M        | Sydnei Eason      | 22  | F      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 8            | 1             | 0              |
| 19     | F        | Lambert Niles     | 31  | M      | KAT    | Axmund City          | 52          | 31           | 35            | 16             |
| 20     | F        | Walton Hershey    | 20  | M      | KAT    | Littleport AFC       | 52          | 21           | 2             | 0              |
| 21     | F        | Brigitte Ball     | 21  | F      | KAT    | Penntop FC           | 52          | 25           | 3             | 1              |
| 22     | GK       | Beauden Moore     | 17  | M      | KAT    | VV Szbedansk (KNZ)   | 0           | 0            | 0             | 0              |
| 27     | D        | Elicia Morton     | 20  | F      | KAT    | Katzestadt Rovers    | 52          | 6            | 12            | 0              |
| 32     | M        | Joachim Newell    | 23  | M      | KAT    | Inverhaven Ironworks | 52          | 3            | 0             | 0              |
| 37     | F        | Clay Marsh        | 18  | M      | KAT    | Axmund United        | 52          | 22           | 12            | 7              |
+--------+----------+-------------------+-----+--------+--------+----------------------+-------------+--------------+---------------+----------------+

[Ralsalin]

Rio Pacifico, TJUN-ia. Morning before the match.

To spend the time before the first World Cup qualification matchday, two friends, Mungain Sengendwara and Nikolai Tikhonov, decided to have a clash of minds in the match of chess. They also decided, that the loser must do 200 push-ups. Tikhonov really wanted to see, how not physically strong Mungain will fail to do this. The problem was that Sengendwara plays chess sometimes (his online rating is 1427), while Tikhonov only know how to move the figures.
After 9 moves, Nikolai already blundered his bishop and knight and decided to do a trick. After the next move, Sengendwara left the board for a minute, and when he returned, he noticed that his queen was missing from the board.
"Give back the queen, Nikolai" - Mungain said.
"Which queen? There wasn't any queen on a board" - responded Nikolai.
"Come on. Don't lie and just empty your pockets" - calmly said Sengendwara.
Tikhonov had no choice but to empty the pockets of his pants and show the queen which he hid trying to trick Sengendwara.
"My friend is an idiot" - Mungain sighed, and mated Nikolai just after the next 3 moves.
Nikolai Tikhonov lost the game and was forced to do 200 push-ups. When Seibold von Niermann discovered this at the team meeting 30 minutes before the game against TJUN-ia, he became mad and slapped Tikhonov on the head. Everyone, except Nikolai, laughed and got rid of the pressure a little...

A joke.
— Nikolai (Gosens), as you have a birthday soon, which present do you want to get?
— I want the good performance from us all in the game against TJUN-ia.
— It's too late, we already bought a bowtie for you...

Nikolai Gosens concedes 5th goal while Oleg Shindeberg (in the back) stays calm as a rock.

That doesn't help the Ralsalien Order national team at all, and even 27 Ralsalien fans who visited the match, failed to bring any help.. The team lost 5-0, and the only consolation was that this defeat came from the team from the pot 1. All goals from TJUN-ia came from the people of Slavic descent: Sharafutdinov and Zinchenko scored a goal each, and Fietdkov made a hattrick. Many Ralsalien players, especially Andrejs Astafjevs, immiediately remembered that scary 0-9 defeat from Kanmer back in 2018. After 6 years, the Slavs again crushed the united Ralsalien team of Germans, Balts, Estonians and also Slavs.
The players failed to show something on the field, and the only bright moment was Kasyan Menon. All worryings of Siebold von Niermann, that a huge defeat will have an awful impact on a 17-year old prospect, were baseless. Menon, who appeared on the field at 71th minute was not worried about the score, thinking that if the game is not over yet, Ralsalin still have a chance. The optimistic forward managed to make two shots, one of them was on target.
But everyone else, except Menon, were sad after a game, as they couldn't to absolutely nothing on the field. It is a pure miracle, why the Ralsalien team conceded only 5 and not more. And Nikolai Gosens, the goalkeeper, was depressed more than others. The day before the first match, Nikolai Gosens had a birthday. And, of course, he wanted to play a good game against the nation that ranked #22 in the rating. His naive dreams were shattered, and even knowing that 4 of the goals were the defenders' fault, and only the last goal was his fault, doesn't help at all. Gosens thought that all of the goals were his fault...

Siebold von Niermann entered the locker room, where all Ralsalien players were sitting quietly. Even Dietrich von Erlaid failed to find any words. But Absolutely Insane Grandfather, as always, knew what to say:

Why are you all imbeciles are sad? Are you imagined yourself as fucking kings or what? 
Yes, we lost 0-5, but this was a match against the highest-ranking team and away. 
Theoretically, the hardest match of all! And we conceded only 5! That's all, the toughest thing is fucking completed! 
Calm the fuck down and be happy, because next matches would be easier!

After some more curse words and the words of motivation, von Nierman ended his speech. Unexpectedly, it had a positive effect on players, as almost everyone cheered up a little. Only Nikolai Gosens still was depressed, and von Niermann decided to give him a rest and start the next match with Riku Maiyenkar in goal.

MATCHDAY 1
TJUN-ia 5-0 RALSALIN

GK Gosens
LB Meine 
CB Shindeberg
CB Tõru
RB Aniko ↓ 84'
   (Gaikar ↑ 84')
CM Astafjevs ↓ 57'
   (Mungain-Dehane ↑ 57')
CM Heen
CM Kirtiman Asier
LW (C) von Erlaid  
RW Minsen-Dwarasen
CF Blagonadeždins ↓ 71'
   (Menon ↑ 71')

The second match theoretically was easier then the first, but in reality the task was still hard. Even if Ralsalin played at home, at the Rinkan Grandmaster Kotarlok Arena, their opponent was Poafmersia, a nation that is ranked 67th in the world ranking. Moreover, Poafmersia also head an insane fan bace, and many Poafmersian fans attended a match in Rinkan. The support from them was so intence, that sometimes Ralsalien players thought that they are playing away. Yes, this is a sad thing. After a 0-5 defeat, only about 6 thousand Ralsaliens visited the second match of the World Cup 98 qualification while the capacity of the stadium is about 15 thousand.
Siebold von Niermann made several changes to the starting squad. Together with Riku Maiyenkar, he allowed Kasyan Menon to play from a very beginning, hoping that Menon's optimism and charge will help.
And The Insane Grandfather was right! On a 78th minute, Randin Kirtiman Asier found Kasyan Menon with a pass, the 17-year old prospect went 1 on 1 with the keeper, and scored first Ralsalien goal in the World Cup qualification! Suddenly, Grandmaster Kotarlok Arena exploded as loud as it could, and all 6 thousand Ralsalien fans at once screamed as loud as they could:

MENON!!! MENON!!! MENON!!! MENON!!! MENON!!!

This was a fascinating thing, that Rinkan Grandmaster Kotarlok Arena heard for the first time in 60 years.

Suddenly after this, Kasyan Menon was subbed by Gunthers Blagonadeždins, earning his well-deserved rest. Fourteen minutes later, a final whistle sounded, and celebration on the field began. Ralsalien Order National team managed to beat 67th ranked Poafmersia! The dark start was followed by the sensational continuation. Everyone in the team was celebrating, and Wilhelm Meine together with Dhidhen Tõru, lifted Siebold von Nierman and threw him, the creatof of the victory, several times into the air.

Only Nikolai Gosens was still sad. He refused to celebrate with others and already went to the locker room. He didn't heard what players said on the field and thought that now, after this victory, he lost the place in the starting squad to Riku Maiyenkar...
Conceded 5 goals, then lost a place in the main 11. Wondeful birthday! Being overwhelmed with those thoughts, Gosens felt himself so hopless, that he screamed loudly and ripped the bottle of water with his teeth, in rage and despair.

Several minutes later, the triumphant players, together with their coach, returned to the locker room where they found depressed Gosens.
"Nikolai, what the fuck are you doing here? Why you are not celebrating?" - asked Siebold von Niermann.
"Coach, I'm a shit! With me, you lost 0-5 and without me you won! You probably don't have faith in me anymore!" - screamed Nikolai.
"You are not shit, YOU'RE A FUCKING IMBECILE, NIKOLAI! What an idiotic thoughts! Stop fucking crying! Calm down! I gave you a rest just to calm you down, idiot! You're did not even heard what we said on the field!" - von Niermann screamed in responce.
"We dedicated this victory to you, Kolya. This is our birthday present to you. Happy birthday" - Viktor Aniko said calmly.
"Exactly! Happy fucking birthday, Nikolai! You are still the first goalkeeper of the team and you will play in the third matchday against Natkr. Calm fucking down and celebrate!" - then said Seibold von Niermann.
Nikolai Gosens then smiled for the first time in several days, and began to celebrate the historic victory. Only at about 3 AM those celebrations ended and happy players went to the base.

MATCHDAY 2
RALSALIN 1-0 Poafmersia
Goals: 
1-0 78' Menon (Kirtiman Asier)

GK Maiyenkar
LB Meine 
CB Shindeberg
CB Tõru ↓ 80'
   (Suta ↑ 80')
RB Aniko 
CM Astafjevs ↓ 65'
   (Veerman ↑ 65')
CM Heen
CM Kirtiman Asier - 1 A
LW (C) von Erlaid  
RW Minsen-Dwarasen
CF Menon ↓ 80' - 1 G
   (Blagonadeždins ↑ 80')

On this evening, even always depressive grandmaster Dhidhen became happy and could probably name himself the happiest man in a region. His nation secured a sensational victory, and, moreover, in the night, unexpected snow began and winter returned in the Ralsalien capital. This night, Dhidhen finally managed to get a good sleep.

[Mytanija]

Continued from here.

PREMIJER ROGINA ANNOUNCES SUPPORT PLAN FOR SPORT
GOVERNMENT LOANS & GRANTS AVAILABLE TO SPORTS CLUBS, INCLUDING FOOTBALL AS MYTANAR SPORT GOES BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AMIDST ONGOING VIOLENCE

by Nevenka Planinc

Premijer Željka Rogina today announced a support package for sports, including football, as the industry grapples with a lack of ticket revenue due to the ongoing violence occurring across Mytanija forcing sporting events behind closed doors.

Sporting events (and public events across the board) have been ordered to shutter the turnstiles amidst the ZPOV and Privremeni Otpor violence which has resulted in fatalities in cities in every mainland region, with the government unable to guarantee the safety of spectators given the capabilities that each paramilitary group has demonstrated and the inability of the Policija or security services (civil and military) to predict and prevent their actions. It has been an immensely damaging couple of months for Rogina’s government, especially ahead of the election later this year, something which opposition leader Krsto Gojković (MNK) has pointed out at every opportunity – claiming that he is the only politician who can quell the violence and address the underlying complaints calling for ‘ponovna decentralizacija’ (i.e., ‘re-decentralisation’ of power to the regions).

Set against a background of political violence which has resulted in deaths and heightened interethnic tensions, sports become trivial, but Premijer Rogina and her coalition partner Lejla Preradović (PsD) are trying to portray an attitude of ‘business as usual’ whilst the Policija and security services get on with their jobs. In Mytanija sport means (relatively) big business and the cultural cachet that sport transmits throughout the regions is crucial to the fortunes of any politician. Therefore, supporting the industry (and particularly football) whilst it has to endure behind closed doors fixtures and limited involvement in IFCF competition is as much about Rogina projecting ‘business as usual’ as it is about the realpolitik of remaining electorally popular when Mytanija comes out the other side of this latest distasteful episode.

The support package is understood to be made up of both loans and grants which sports clubs can apply for and receive on the basis of ticket revenue earned across the previous three years. This could amount to sums in the millions for some of the largest sports clubs, particularly those with football sections competing in the 1. Prvenstvo. The loans will need to be repaid (interest free) over a ten-year period, though this timescale is largely dependent on the situation being safely resolved in the near future. Smaller sports clubs, including semi-professional and amateur clubs, will be able to apply for grants which do not have to be paid back.

The move will likely quell some disquiet amongst 1. Prvenstvo football club executives, though those clubs which have been blocked from entering IFCF competition are understood to still be considering their options given the precedent set by the FSM allowing Atletik to defend their IFCF Champions League title whilst playing their matches in the Kytler Peninsulae. Other clubs could easily have done the same, though it is unclear what mechanisms the clubs would have available to them to receive redress for loss of income for this, or indeed who the claim would be against (the FSM claim they are acting on government advice and the government are trying to manage a very tense developing situation).

The entire 44-45 season will be played behind closed doors unless the government are able to safely resolve the situation and prevent attacks from happening, with sporting fixtures being high-profile targets given that the clubs and their stadiums are often emotional and physical representations of certain cities / regions / ethnic groups in the sporting arena. ZPOV attacks at the Novi Atletskistadion, Olujastadion and Korecky Road were met with a violent Privremeni Otpor response in a heavily 1923 Esca neighbourhood of the capital; at the Miagostadion; and alongside a spate of more random attacks in historically Kalinina-supporting towns across Zrnska.

Privremeni Otpor (‘Provisional Resistance’) claim the legacy of the original Otpor which fought against Kalinina’s forces during the Mytanar Conflict, a resistance group which united Thessian, Visorav, Raknik and some Vojovitican forces against Kalinina’s Zrnskian Orthodox supremacist regime. The Privremeni Otpor have seemingly formed in response to the initial ZPOV attacks and whilst their attacks seem less precise than the ZPOV operations, the fact that they have so quickly been able to pull together experience and resources to carry out bombing attacks across the country demonstrates that they too are likely calling upon some latent military (or paramilitary) experience from the Mytanar Conflict, perhaps with representation from criminal groups and even sporting ultras groups. Both sides of this violence appear to have sophisticated networks which the Policija, OZNA and VOiKo seem to be struggling to infiltrate to allow them to predict and prevent further violence.

ZPOV’s demands relate to Premijer Rogina including a vote for the secession of Zrsnka, Magevskaya, Nasto and Avnalia (as well as majority Zrnskian Orthodox areas of Vojovitica) on the ballot paper alongside the election vote. The group are prepared to use violence to force this vote, but are also prepared to go further and commit to a military campaign against Mytanija’s forces to breakaway. There is unlikely to be a majority in those regions to vote for such a large constitutional change, with younger generations feeling more Mytanar and wanting to move beyond the tensions of the Mytanar Conflict. This latest spate of violence threatens to take us all back to those times and reopen old wounds.

Premijer Rogina has called for calm throughout the attacks and criticised the actions of Privremeni Otpor for operating on the same ground as ZPOV by causing the deaths of innocent civilians as part of their campaign of reprisals for the initial ZPOV attacks. Rogina said that those involved in both groups would be dealt with using the full force of the law, once security services are able to identify, locate and arrest them. Every day that they are unable to do exactly that is – perhaps unfairly – regarded as a black mark against Rogina’s government and is creating a climate of fear amongst the population. It seems that Rogina is trying to do everything she can to assist ‘business as usual’ whilst trying to prevent further large-scale casualties. The fact that sporting events have been targeted is deeply upsetting and is also why the matter is being discussed at such length in these pages. Deaths have reached the low hundreds (126 at the last count), with injuries numbering significantly higher than that. With these groups being fairly sophisticated according to clued-up observers, it begs the question just how much higher can those numbers go?

Mytanija number ten Denis Ovsyannikov was asked about his views on events and was clearly devastated that life and sport in Mytanija is once again being impacted by political violence, something which many thought was a relic of a bygone era: “It’s horrendous and our thoughts go out to all those who have lost their lives and been injured in these latest attacks, on all sides. We feel distinctly Mytanar, we may have our small differences, but we feel together when we play for the national team, and I hope that we can help to bring people together again. Sport seems very small when these sorts of things happen, so whilst it’s disappointing that we have to play without fans I can understand why the government has made the decision that it has and recommended that we play behind closed doors. We just want life to go back to normal, to live in peace and be able to get on with life in the same way that other countries do.”

[Pasarga]

Going into the World Cup Qualifying campaign if you are not the first seed, you know that your most difficult game of the campaign is typically going to be traveling away to the first seed and then any of the other higher seeds among the group. With the Wanderers being a second seed for this qualification campaign, thanks in large part to their failure to deliver on home soil last Finals and then missing out of qualification the time prior, the team knew they were going to be up against it whoever their first seed was going to be in the group and likely against the third seed as well given they were a middling low second potted team. When the draw came out and the Wanderers got a middling first seed in the form of Juvencus and then one of the higher third seeds with fellow Rushmori outfit Oberour Ar Moro, it seemed their fears of a difficult escape from the group despite their pot status were confirmed, doubly so when it was revealed that the first match of the campaign would be away to Juvencus before then taking on Oberour Ar Moro in Torgos. It was going to be a true baptism of fire for the team to start out the campaign, to see if they were going to play more like they did in the World Cup or in the Copa Rushmori.

Making the way to the first seed, the team knew that they were going to have to be at their peak if they were going to be able to spring an upset on the prohibitive favorite to win the group and taking one of the two automatic qualifying spots. The Wanderers were notorious for their form away from the Stade de Torgos in the last few qualification campaign and getting the most difficult away day to start out the campaign was by no means a gift, but you have to play the cards you are dealt. The task got all the more difficult when Faustino Audiol scored just two minutes in, before the team could even get their feet underneath them, the home fans booming in applause as they got that early lead. Thor called Bazzi over to the sidelines as the goal was being reviewed and told the striker something even as they confirmed the goal stood. Whatever was said, the striker seemed to be taking driving runs at the Juvencus defense but they kept stepping up to keep the striker from being onside. Yet just before the halftime whistle Carlo Callejon was a step too late in stepping up with the rest of the line as Bazzi gathered up the through ball from Schmid and was on Ungaro, showing her experience in a deft chip over the keeper to bring the teams level into the break.

The second half started out much better for the Wanderers as they were taking the game to the hosts and their possession based style was keeping the ball but having trouble breaking down the defensive shape of the hosts. It would be an attacking probe up the center into the teeth of the pair of the defensive midfielders that would be a costly mistake as Conte won the ball off Schmid and booted it long, which Audiol was quick to chest down, then managed to turn Irena Horvat and beat Topić far post to reestablish the lead. It would only last forty-two seconds as the Wanderers took the ensueing kick off and worked their way down the left hand side of the pitch before Biró slipped Laszlo behind the defense and the striker's first time shot beat the keeper near side. It looked like the teams would split the spoils as the game went into its final ten minutes but in the eighty-seventh minute Pau Puig pulled down Járngrímur in the box for a penalty. The Graintfjaller born striker stepped up to the spot and calmly put it to the left as the keeper dove right for the Wanderers first and only lead. The clock ticked down and the Wanderers escaped with a hard fought three points against the top seed.

Back in Pasarga their Rushmori rivals looked to capitalize off a bit of rotation and what they expected to be an emotional let down after such a huge win for the Wanderers. What the visitors might have failed to account for that the team really has taken to playing in front of the home crowd since the end of the Finals, as was seen with their thoroughly amazing run during the Copa Rushmori. Katinka Fazakas opened up the scoring in the twenty-first minute with a lovely strike from just inside the box, the Polarian based striker taking her chance as she got the opportunity to start this game. The midfield controlled the game as it went along and the Wanderers were pelted the opposition end with scoring opportunities but were misfiring a bit. The second half would see a lot of the same, the team seemingly content on seeing a one all over the line but second half substitute Áron Gombos let loose a hopeful effort from thirty yards out that managed to hit the underside of the crossbar and go in with eleven minutes left in the game. It was all that was needed to help the team salt away a much needed win and get them two wins from the opening two.

A pair of opening wins against the top two seeds was a surprise but one that Thor will welcome and will see as huge progress in getting the team back to where it was when he was a part of it, the next step is keeping up the momentum and not falling victim to upsets. With games against NexxusDrako away from home and Yakk away as well the competition does get much easier but the test of whether their road woes are truly gone will be of great importance. It will tell if the team has taken the lessons that Thor and the rest of the coaching staff has tried to put to them during the time between the Copa and Qualifying to heart. Each game being a lesson you can learn from and getting better from, that no opponent is not worth your full attention and effort. Curing the latter is what Thor hopes will cure the Wanderers existential plague of inconsistencies and being ripe for upsets that have been par for the course for the national team for far too much of its history dating all the way back to the original team with Calaberese to this very one. It was time to purge that from their identity and move on towards a more consistent, more well drilled team that truly belonged among the game's elite.