A Tale Of Two Crescents - WC97 Roleplay Thread

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

It had very nearly worked, Juan Tzimisces thought to himself. In any case, if the surprise tactic hadn't quite worked to the point of earning the Holy Empire a win, a 1-1 draw against Yuezhou wasn't a bad result, all things considered.

As to the surprise tactic, it was quite simple. The first time that the gnomes had won an indirect free kick, they'd formed a circular phalanx of players around the captain - five gnomes at ground level, and another four gnomes standing on their shoulders, and Gnostic in the middle. Gnomish had taken the ground level lead, Gnostic had bounced the ball off the forward's heel, and nine gnomes in circular phalanx had then gone running down the field at twice human speed, loudly screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH", with their captain madly dribbling the ball at the centre of the phalanx, surrounded by teammates, and unreachable by a baffled Yuezhou defence.

The gnomish phalanx had simply run all the way into Zhao's goal; as cool, confident, and physically imposing as the Dragons' goalkeeper might be, he was also too much of a traditionalist to know how to cope with a bunch of charging gnomes standing on each others' shoulders. Before he could even say 'Yue National Team Goalkeeping Coaches have been very in-demand lately', the gnomes swept past him, and run into the back of the net, ball at Gnostic's feet, the net bulging with 10 giggling, argumentative, and slightly hysterical knee-high garden gnomes.

So, 12 minutes in, and 1-0.

But if had been that easy all of the time, then the Holy Empire might have run off as 6,7, or even 8-0 winners. Ashdown was far too canny a manager to let that happen.

When, some 20 minutes into the match the gnomes had tried the same tactic again, Ashdown simply ordered Yao and Deng to stand their ground in front of the onrushing gnomes - who had barrelled over the Yuezhou centre backs, leading to the referee immediately blowing his whistle calling a foul against the Holy Empire for rough play.

When the gnomes tried it a third time early in the second half, Yao and Deng had been joined by Huan and Milosevic, and this time the referee had liberally handed out yellow cards to Gnomis, Gnostic, and Gnap.

They didn't try it a fourth time. It looked like it was the sort of tactic they were only going to get away with once - once a tournament at that, not once a match.

After that, Yue Zhou had gradually asserted themselves, becoming more comfortable with the gnomes dribbling along the ground and occasionally launching themselves into the air, and beginning to play some excellent football. Some excellent normal football (if, in the opinion of the watching Holy Empire fans, ever so slightly boring).

And then Tsang's 75th-minute equaliser... Ah well, Tzimisces thought, if you're going to concede a late goal, at least let it be a glorious one like that one; the Dragons weren't the 6th-ranked team in the multiverse for nothing, and Tsang was a damn fine player.

But the hard part was over. The group top seeds had been held to a 1-1 draw, and the Gnejs-Hapilopper match had itself ended in a 2-2 draw. Get a result against The Rock in the next match and surely .... surely even the gnomes couldn't throw away the Hapilopper match?

Juan Tzimisces looked at the Hapilopper information sheet again - maybe it was tempting fate to look past Gnejs, but there was something he couldn't help admire about Hapilopper... "score goals, kick ass, have fun" - now there was a team after his own heart. They might be the lowest-ranked team left in the tournament, but at least they played the game in the right spirit.

[Cardenao]

Football and Cardenao: A Story of Shared Development

As we all know (yes even you, I know you know), La Furia Azule are currently competing in the World Cup Finals for the first time. It took more than a decade but the national team had finally reached the biggest stage in football, unfortunately though we were handed a tough group that started off with a clash against the tenth best team in the world and the result of that game is what prompted this article. In an attempt to cope with the looming possibility that our beloved Blue and Golds will likely be dumped out of the tourney in unceremonious fashion, I became inspired to look at how a new identity for Cardenao has been born during our seven attempts at qualification. If this is uninteresting to you, that’s fine because it ended up not being particularly interesting to me either but here it is.

The Background

Cardenao…a country of beaches and mountains…a country cut in two after a terrible attack by an occupying nation……a country known for resilience, grit, and a fighting spirit that will never die. This spirit, this hardworking ‘nothing to it but to do it’ spirit is on full display whenever the national football team takes the field. The nickname itself suggests the heart of a warrior, La Furia Azule; the determination to succeed and the willingness to sacrifice blood, sweat, and tears to get there. This identity was forged through competition, and it reflects the heart of the people who make the Blue and Gold what it is. The same people who have worked so selflessly to bring a new age to Cardeano on a road that reflects the journey of the national team from nobodies to having a seat at the biggest table in sports. In that same vein, Cardenao has undergone a transformation from an apathetic, underdeveloped group of fishermen to a more modernized, industrial state complete with paved roads and multi-regional defense treaties–we’ve even seen combat defending foreign lands and Mihaly, our president who seems closer to mythology than realism, held power in Bostopia for several years. No longer a tribe of fisherfolk, Cardenao had arrived and this is the story we will look at: the connection between the hardworking people of Cardenao and the players that don the jersey, how one inspires the other, and how the fundamental fisherfolk roots of Cardenao drives her athletes to give their all at the highest level.

For many years, Cardenao was what it always had been: slow moving, siesta and marijuana fueled, laissez-faire approach to all, who knows what’s going on over there because we’ve got fishing to be done over here. A malaise hung over the country, seeping deeply into all aspects of our culture and life as generations wasted away without actually doing much of anything. During this time, it’s safe to say there was no functional national government in Cardenao and that was part of a larger, much more insidious plan that had been executed over a century prior. Cardenao existed as an indentured country to the Empire of Eshan, a former state located in Rushmore but with holdings across many regions, including the fisheries and flax fields of the Blue and Gold. At some point during the occupation, the Echani destroyed the elaborate seawall and dike system that protected the majority of Cardenao, which was a singular connected landmass up until that moment.

The amount of lives lost, the cost of damage……it can never be calculated. The majority of the landmass of Cardenao, so much farmland, so many little villages, was under 20 feet of seawater by nightfall. It is an event that deserves an article of its own accord, though the collective trauma of that day still lingers in the fabric of our nation, and built for generations before someone arrived with an unyielding determination to make his country important, that he was sick and tired of being the victim and wasting away his generations chance to make change. Like a lighthouse cutting through the dark of night, Mihaly arrived and everything changed.

Where he came from and what his path was is not important to this story, what is important is the changes he enacted when he assumed the role of President. Large scale economic reforms, factories producing textiles, steel, and electronics, trade agreements with neighboring countries led to a considerable flax industry, rejuvenated by targeted government investment, that employed thousands and produced on a scale not seen since before Eshan ruled these lands. Among those thousands of workers are the families of some of Cardenao’s most talented footballers.

Kiko Nécib’s father, for instance, was a former professional footballer. Of course in that time, professional footballers weren’t actually paid anything, that revelation and the advent of the domestic MegaPower League was again an advancement from Mihaly, and so during the day he took up work in a factory under Mihaly’s jobs program. This allowed him to support his family and give his son Kiko a chance to become a paid professional footballer, an important distinction, and it was all worth it when Kiko scored the winning goal against that devil named Audioslavia. This story is not unique. Many of the players to wear the famous Blue and Gold have grown up with parents, relatives, friends who work in the industrial sector, and that’s a constant reminder of the hard work and dedication required to succeed in the new Cardenao.

Football Becomes An Escape

For many young Cardenaoans, football starts as a way to have fun and partake in the national pastime but there is a point where it becomes a way to rise above the daily grind of factory life. While dirt fields and makeshift goals are increasingly giving way to state sponsored facilities, youth football is where the young talent first emerges as the kids hone their skills between work or school. These players, young as they may be, understand what it means to work hard, they’ve seen their parents after another long day in the factory and they’ve internalized that ethic into their approach to the game. Football was an escape from the day to day of being a kid, but it was also an escape from a hard life in the industrial sector.

Kai Chidubem, the national team’s 24 year old starting goalkeeper, spent his youth days playing on a small patch of dirt that constituted his town’s communal pitch, juggling the ball on his way to school, kicking the ball against a wall when he accompanied his father to the factory. Now look at him, La Furia Azule’s goalkeeper in their first ever Finals. Hartiz Larrainzar, the 32 year old captain who is widely considered to be Cardenao’s greatest of all time, comes from a similar background, growing up in tough environments in underdeveloped Cardenao, giving it their all to make it onto the national stage.

A Team That Mirrors The Nation

Here we reach the connection, how nation and team are mirrors of each other. La Furia Azule’s journey to the World Cup Finals is not just the story of a football team, but it’s also an extension of Cardenao’s development as a country. This team has risen from being unranked and unknown to at one point being a top-50 side and a contender in regional championships is a parallel to the nation’s economic transformation. Like the factories that power the economy and the dirt roads that were one by one being paved over, the players representing the country have worked tirelessly, giving it all they’ve got, always in the face of adversity, to build something special. Something a whole country could take pride in.

Again, we see the national ethos reflected in a facet of football, this time the team’s playing style. High energy, boundless play vertically up and down the field, everyone pressing, everyone giving it their all. It’s hard working football with a bit of that Cardenaoan flair. You can be assured that on every play, each of the 11 Blue and Golds on the field would give their lives to secure the victory. They need victory, they need to win, to bring joy, to inspire the hardworking people of their country. Even when outclassed, as they were in the 4-1 Delte’ing, the Cardenaoans played with every ounce of energy and spirit they have. That resilience, the willingness to not say no and keep digging deep…that comes directly from their backgrounds–from seeing firsthand the struggle of scraping by in a modernizing Cardenao. The team is that of the nation, the people and the players are one and the same.

The Cardenaoan Connection

As the Blue and Golds play in the World Cup Finals for the first time, you better believe homes, schools, and factories alike will have the games on the tube, on the loudspeaker, on in any way possible, workers huddling around spoty television sets during breaks, hoping their team’s story can continue. That connection though, that connection between footballer and common man is a strong one that some may find surprising, but the truth is the two came from the same neighborhoods, the same towns, sometimes even the same families. For the hardworking men and women of Cardenao, seeing La Furia Azule shine on the world stage is a massive point of pride, perhaps the biggest point of pride for many a ‘denaoan. In many ways, the success of the national team is a tangible representation of their own hard work, their own dreams, their own sacrifices.

One need not look hard to see what this means to the people, with large screens set up outside the factories of Küsbon, the industrial hub in Eastern Cardenao, where workers stream during lunch to watch highlights or perhaps a live game if the stars align. In New Cardonia, Mihaly himself has spoken to the love affair between the people and the Blue and Gold, being sure to mention that he will be at the games himself to represent Cardenao. Or how about Sareña, a unique Cardenaoan city in that it is a wealthy city with many wealthy residents, but when it comes to the national team, the richest citizens can found in the sketchiest of dive bars while those with a single credit to their name are welcome to the historic (and expensive) LaBalla Oral hotel restaurant. In these moments, no matter who you are, or what you are, you are a fan of the Cardenaoan National Team, and that makes you……me.

The Unpaved Road Ahead

Let’s not shy away from it, the pressure is absolutely on for the Blue and Golds, not just to win but to represent and showcase the spirit of their nation. With representatives like Hartiz Larrainzar, Juanma Saez, and the young Kiko Nécib leading the way, we can certainly be proud of the progress made while recognizing it is a long path ahead for the players who carry the weight of a nation on their shoulders. Every match is more than just a game, this means more—they are symbols of Cardenao’s potential and a celebration of the journey from industry to the field, from dirt roads to paved ones.

This story, this reflection on the intertwined history of Cardenao and football, beautifully captures the heart and soul of Cardenao: a nation both small and poor, and relatively new to the international stage, but one that earned a reputation for punching above its weight in the global economy and world sporting competitions. And all of that is because of spirit; because of the hard work, dedication, and the resiliency and capacity to dream of the Cardenaoan people. With a football team that mirrors that spirit, that internalizes it, Cardenao is proving they can compete on any stage……bring it on Myrtle Beach.

[Eastfield Lodge]

MD2 cutoff for Groups A-F

[Edsmontik]

STARTING OFF STRONG: 2-2 AGAINST 17 RANKED ZWANGZUG
LIVE ON ISN NOW

The Edsmons were genuinely having a good time.
On their first cycle ever, they not only secured their first trophy for Karma, but also qualified for the world cup.
And now, they drew against one of the top 20 teams.

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NS WORLD CUP 97 GROUP STAGE
STEIN-LOS STADIUM, STEIN-LOS, PASARGA
4/27/2029

Just less than ten minutes ago, Edsmon left-wing Reus Aespana landed a beautiful shot to equalize the game in the 84th minute.
Now, he stood, waving at fans and talking chatting with Javarqa.
"It's unfortunate that Sabmar broke his finger pre-match. But I'm glad Recha came in clutch to stop multiple shots." Reus said.
Sabmar Lankiv, the original chosen goalkeeper for the match had unfortunately tripped when his cleats unlaced during training and fell right on his finger.
Youch.
No game from him for a while.
"Yeah." started Ivikt. "But the 2-0 lead in the beginning from them shows that we have to step up a notch. We can't fumble in the back."
Reus thought about the other teammates that had unfortunately missed out due to injuries during the world cup qualifiers.
"Maven, Steus, Vlakish, all of them are still healing right now. Big injuries. Maybe we're injury prone?" he said.
"Maybe, maybe not." Ivikt replied. "Luck wasn't on our side the day they got injured. Whether it was a crushed ankle, an accidentally badly timed kick, or just a pulled hamstring."
The two Edsmons continued chatting as a reporter walked up to Reus.
"Hello Reus? Would you mind if I asked a few questions?" the reporter said. "I'm with ISN."
"Yeah sure, I wouldn't mind." responded Reus.
The reporter asked Reus to stand in a spot, where some sort of news set was set up.
Ivikt Javarqa waved as he turned and headed to follow a reporter for KarmaTV, a new network for Karmic stuff.
"Okay. So first question," started the reporter. "What do you feel that Edsmontik really needs to do to up their game in the world cup?"
Reus thought for a bit as he stood, scratching his sweat filled hair and taking a few breaths.
"Well," he began. "I would say the defense and midfield could work on organization, and us attackers should be quicker on our feet."
The cameraman adjusted the camera, as the reporter wrote on her notepad.
"Okay. And what about the team? What are you guys planning to do if more injuries come?" the reporter said in a somewhat serious tone.
Reus was fine with interviews, but for some reason it was getting awkward.
He was taking a while to think of answers and felt genuinely overwhelmed.
The Edsmon thought and answered the rest of the reporter's questions.
But he couldn't get the awkwardness of just standing there and scratching his itchy head while taking his precious time to answer.
And then none other than Maartin Stuero walked over.
"Hey Reus, what's up?" he said.
"Eh, not much. Just had an interview but I can't get over the awkwardness." Reus replied.
"I see, you'll get used to it." Maartin said. "I hated interviews too. But we probably should get back to der-Ghavyr, we're leaving soon."
And the two Edsmons (later joined by Ivikt) chatted and hopped onto the bus that would take them to their quality hotel.

---

GROUP D MD1

KEY MOMENTS
11' GOAL Marcus (ZWA)
45' GOAL Hegasa (ZWA)
57' GOAL Stuero (EDS)
84' GOAL Aespana (EDS)

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NSWC GROUP D MD2 LINEUP

[Zwangzug]

The Kerlagrad Courier

Pasarga are an island nation located slightly to the north of the Rushmori mainland. Zenic are found in the south-central isthmus of that landmass, slightly east of Cassadaigua. Zwangzug are effectively hermits, in the isolationist microregion of Wrigley. It stands to reason that when the Z-loving sides met in Paulinthal, the Survivors would be supported by more visiting fans and perhaps even some neutrals, while Zwangzug would have to muster a stiff resolve to ignore the jeers. What we did not expect, however, was for the Zwangzugians to look listless, crowd together rather than taking advantage of the completely-regulation-sized pitch, and, in at least some cases, blame their woes on the size of the locker room they were assigned.

"Look, it's one thing for a domestic team to crowd their visitors to crowd into a too-small locker room," complained John McDonald. "But we're supposed to be neutrals, and we just got randomly assigned the status as visiting team. How is this fair for international play?"

"All through the regular season our clubs are playing against each other. Like, I don't even like these guys," griped Ryuya Kotani. "Now I'm supposed to get all buddy-buddy with them? What kind of Lopez Principle garbage is this."

"We're basically sitting on top of each other, and like, Alyssa [Velt-Nansen] takes up a lot of space on the bench, you know?" said Sohini Dravid. "Why do we even need to carry twenty-six players anyway, we're not the kind of stupid country who has tragic melodramas."

The only goal of the match was scored by Giuseppe Allegri Gentile in minute 38, assisted by Hank Devor. Gentile plays for Passerine in Kelssek, which may bode poorly for Zwangzug's upcoming encounter against the top seeds. (For those of you confused, you're thinking of Starling, the Nepharan Narrative champions also known as the "Passerines.")

It should be remembered that not only is the World Cup renowned for the extreme variety and diversity of stadiums that host qualifying matches, but that eight members of this roster play for Zwangzug's "United" clubs, one of which boasts no permanent home stadium and the other of which has two. Stephen Marcus, for his part, looked as if he was trying to signal that he didn't know any of the complainers, which is pretty impossible given how close they were allegedly jammed in. "Look, inasmuch as any single player can take responsibility for a result--which is always an oversimplification--I'm not afraid to say that I didn't play up to my potential. I certainly hope all my teammates are honest enough to say the same."

Even Kate DiMarini appears to be showing her age of whateveritis, although it's unclear whether that has more to do with the result itself, the complainers' excuses, or the fact that her captain uses words like "inasmuch."

[Delte]

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Delte 1–1 Juvencus
Trainee Sports Correspondent Pola Bedeloe at Vorgan Park in New Lodger City, Eastfield Lodge for the Skimpy Matchday Report & Negligible Detail Express (Sports Section)

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I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of this match but failure to beat Juvencus for the first time in five meetings marks a new low in a stuttering campaign for the Reps, with elimination and the sack looming large for 83-year-old standing badminton coach Ida Spankhurst - she looks thoroughly out of her depth as the decline of the former World Champions continues at a seemingly irreversible pace. La Squadra struck first and early, Gilberto Soares cutting in from the right after only three minutes, ghosting past a surprisingly distracted Asa Awestorm - one of the few consistent highlights of the campaign until that unfortunate moment - to smash past Steed Tombes and signal that an awkward game was ahead for the stoic Reps. Awkward it was. Carrying very little threat for most of the game, the tournament looked gone for the team in the green of the valley, and while Tai Tunnyo's 81st minute equaliser ought to have raised spirits, an unlikely turnaround never materialised. The Reps got what they deserved - maybe more than they deserved - and now must win and hope in their final group match to at least get into the expanded round of 32. Missing out might have seemed inconceivable as recently as mid-June, Deltic time, when the rank amateurs won the 21st Indies Cup. But here we are - on the brink. Some might say professionalism is ruining the game in the valley but this trainee sports correspondent is laying the blame squarely at the baggy stockinged feet of the old lady who just shouldn't be running a World Cup football team.

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The Revenge of Patch-Ironing Robot #371
10/12 - Carry On Up The Valley

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The life of Deltic football kit influencer and ediraf Regional Sales Manager Raul Valk hangs in the balance as the Revenge of Patch Ironing Robot #371 reaches fulfilment. But how did we get here, and more specifically how did #371 get to the Delte valley?

Finally, the killer robot had made it to Aughtshambles Street, in the town of Oswark-upon-Delte, where the former ediraf employee of the month kept his apartment in his new life as an ex-pat. It waited outside the block in its disguise as a mobility scooter, a disguise which had served it well all the way from Big Dave’s back in the industrial sector of Jhanna city, Starblaydia. It was going to stake out for a few days, get the lay of the land, case the joint. Having spent more than a year to get here, it was in no rush. It thought back on its exciting adventure across the multiverse, and some of the passengers it had taken on as part of the disguise - the Drunk Elf, Alluin Halorosis, hero of the Battle of Nine Armies and washed-up alcoholic with his endlessly hilarious and somewhat dubious memories; of his young friends Kitso and Kelvin, the mischievous kids from the slums of Arnold Island off Taxhavn, where Ossidiacquan and Polarian refugees were making their illigal shanty towns, who just loved taking him for a ride; and lately of Rvani Spidnysti, the old woman he found locked in a container, nearly dead, who told him the tragedies of eternally war-torn Vuchinia. He’d delivered her to Ageness, the refugee village in the Delte valley, where Cooperites fleeing from the Pink Army of Cassadiaguan imperial expansion were building a new life and becoming expert in asylum law and trauma therapy.

Patch Ironing Robot thought about all these poor washed-up yuman beans. It was a hard life being a yuman bean, if you didn’t plop out in the right place at the right time. (Eeeuw - organic creatures were so… wet and sloppy. Patch Ironing Robot had done a lot of reading up on the internet of gross things on how best to eviscerate your organic enemy, and my god, they were full up with slimy and stinky stuff, it was really quite disgusting. It didn’t know how it was going to overcome its aversion to all that gunk to get revenge on Raul Valk, it really didn’t. Maybe it would hang about for a bit, watch the former employee come and go, and get so annoyed with his happy life that it would overcome its distate for eviscerated yuman beans and eviscerate the little bastard. But then it thought about Rvani and all the eviscerated yuman beans she’d watched leak and spill into death, and how sad she was, and… Dammit!)

Patch Ironing Robot waited, and watched, and scanned, and learned a little about Raul Valk who didn’t have all the tragedies in his life like Alluin, or Kitso and Kelvin - the little buggers - or Rvani Spidnysti. He was just a happy fellow going about his business, and that business seemed innocent enough. He worked hard and was nice to people. He was someone Alluin Halorosis would have treasured for a friend. Someone Kitso and Kelvin would love for an uncle, or Rvani for a son she never had. Could Patch Ironing Robot take that away from his friends, those well-met passengers it’d helped along the way?

Dammit! DAMMIT! What was happening to Patch Ironing Robot?

[Aleirave]

Secrets, Secrets
Baggieland 1-2 Aleirave

Part 1 - After Haulafo Paka’ula turned Union Stadium away from the island, Refilene Adari’ena had some choice words for him… words that didn't make too much sense, coming from him. Part 2 - Haulafo calls up the only person who he knows can help – King William. However, Aleiravan administrative red tape prevents him from doing his usual rule-bending here.
Part 3 - Haulafo and William approach Alice O’Donnell, the Eshian Election Commissioner, for assistance regarding potential political bribery. At first she claims it isn't her jurisdiction, although in fact it is; she then agrees to help deal with the matter.
Part 4 - Detective Jacob Bronwyn of the Eshian Investigation Service comes to Lahaira to interrogate Refilene, hopefully without the Governor realizing it was even an interrogation to begin with.
Part 5 (lost) - Jacob calls Alice to get her to email him a copy of a search warrant so he can look through Refilene’s checkbook. While the evidence was shaky, Alice saw the probable cause and issued a warrant for the checkbook.
Part 6 - After the internet outage, Alice calls EIS Director Mark Monley to send some backup to help Jacob, knowing he'd need some help finishing the investigation during the technical difficulties. Mark would agree to send reinforcements, but not without much fighting between the two first.
Part 7 - Detectives Neil Rollins and Paula Hannelly arrived on Aleirave, warrant in hand, to bring both Jake and the documents back to Eshialand City for the investigation.
Part 8 - Refilene’s closest advisor suggests he throw in the towel and just tell the EIS everything he knows, but he brushes off the advice, not wanting to give up so easily.
Part 9 - Our investigators discover that the illicit donation was made in a new cryptocurrency, which means the money is worthless thanks to the internet outage… but it also makes the search orders of magnitude harder.

knock knock knock…

“Who is it?” Refilene asked.
“Detective Paula Hannelly with the EIS–”
“Do you have a warrant?”
“Not right now I just wanted to chat a little…”
“No thank you, I’m not available right now.”

What could the EIS possibly want with him this time, he thought. They already got their warrant, they already got their evidence, why in the world would they want to interview him again? To get even more incriminating evidence? No thanks, he wouldn’t be giving up any information he wasn’t legally obligated to.

“Oh, that’s alright then, maybe we can talk later…” Paula replied dejectedly.

Nikita, Refilene’s old advisor, just happened to notice this scene as he was passing by on his way to his office. He saw Paula’s EIS badge and wondered what could be going on today. “Is everything alright there, Detective?” he asked her.

“Well, if I’m being honest, I’m not really a fan of how cagey your boss has been, Mr…”
“Sarliev, Nikita Sarliev.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Detective Paula Hannelly.”
“I overheard… I also overheard you trying to get a hold of Refilene, hasn’t he just been a pain?”
“You’ve been talking to him too?”

“A lot, yeah… I was trying to tell him to turn state’s evidence a couple days ago, but he seems dead-set on the idea of keeping everything a secret until the last possible moment…”

“I wonder, would you be willing to sit down with me Nikita? I’d love to hear what you know about everything, maybe you could help us figure some of this out.”

“For sure! Come with me, we can chat in my office.”

Nikita brought Paula into his office, a much smaller room than Refilene’s; while the governor’s office had room for a few guests, as well as some houseplants and even a coffee machine, all Nikita had was his desk and room for one chair for guests. “It's a little cozy in here…” Paula remarked as she closed the door behind her.

“Yeah, I don’t really have a lot of guests, so I don’t need the space. Usually I’m the one headed into Refilene’s office, after all. Anyway, what would you want to ask me?”

“Okay… first of all, has the governor ever mentioned something called SHITcoin around you?”
“The name is vaguely familiar to me, but if I’m being honest I don’t think he’s ever mentioned using it… he keeps a lot of his private business under wraps.”
“Around you too, eh?”

“Of course. I never really thought anything strange was happening, after all there are very good reasons why a governor, or really anyone in power, might wanna keep some things more secret… I just figured he was only telling people things if they needed to know and I didn’t need to know.”

“I wonder, did any rich or powerful people stop by? Like, anyone who looked like they could have a lot of money to blow or people who would have a big stake in the politics around here?”

“Apart from the King and Prime Minister of course?”
“Yeah, you’d kind of expect them to be showing up.”

“If I’m being entirely honest with you, I haven’t seen too many people showing up, at least not the types of people you’re describing… apart from Tony Beaujoleil when he came in on that stupid stadium, but he wasn’t stopping by the office, just showing up on our shores and drinking himself into a stupor at Kalaio’s Beach Bar.”

Of course, Paula thought, of course all their discussions would be held on the phone… heck, maybe even one of those encrypted online platforms!

“Have you ever overheard phone calls between Refilene and anyone else about donations or–”
“I’m sorry but not a lot of sound carries from his office to mine… it’s almost like he made sure that it wouldn’t while it was being built. So many secrets with this man…”
“When it was being built??? That was seven years ago!”
“As I said, he’s long been committed to keeping his secrets exactly that, secrets.”
“Well it sucks when his secrets are holding back an investigation of something way more severe… there’s so much we’d be willing to offer him if he just told us what’s going on.”
“I know, I know, I told him all of that… but he just doesn’t want to talk unless he’s forced to.”
“Unfortunate… let’s see what we can do about getting him to talk, maybe we can get something out of him together.”

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“THEY’VE DONE IT! THEY’VE DONE IT! OH DEAR MARGARET THEY’VE DONE IT!!!!”

The mood among the Aleiravan fans at Olympic Park was absolutely electric. Here they were, a 4th pot team who barely made it into their first ever World Cup after so many agonizing qualifying failures, now sitting on 4 points against the top 2 teams, practically guaranteed advancement to the Round of 32.

While they weren’t truly guaranteed to advance, after all anything could happen against the team from Tero al Disco (who’d just thrashed Huayramarca 6 goals to 2), 4 points would probably be enough for second, and even if it wasn’t they’d surely be one of the best 3rd placed teams… but now was no time to let their guard down, not when first place was at stake.

Winning their group would be an absolute victory for the Seagulls, especially with how nobody ever expected them to even win a match in this group stage. But here they were, within spitting distance of the prize… and it would all come down to their matchup against Tero al Disco.

Despite being the third-seeded team, los Teros had proven with their whopping nine goals scored in two matches that they were an absolute force to be reckoned with, and for once the Seagulls’ defense would have to shine in order for them to take home the W in Lodgertia.

“You know, this World Cup has been a dream come true…” Haulafo Pala’ula had to say after the match, “and we’re not letting the dream die right here. We’re going to head into Lodgertia with a flame lit beneath us and we’re going to head out with a huge win, just you wait and see.”

[Tumbra]

StrayaRoos 1–3 Tumbra

TMB (4-3-3): 1 - V Jones; 2 - A Renton, 4 - S Kerr, 5 - W Pritchett (19 - Y Lawson, 70'), 3 - T Mercurio; 6 - T Harrison (23 - H Hindmarsh, 76'), 15 - L McCormick, 8 - V Leighton (25 - R McLaren, 70'); 7 - V Wells (17 - E Robertson, 83'), 9 - L Crossley; 11 - C Henshaw (26 - J Hardaker, 76')

TMB scorers: Lynne Crossley (14'), Trudy Harrison (75'), Julie Hardaker (82')

Player of the Match: Trudy Harrison [TMB]

cw: blood

The Valiant
Eastfield Lodge

Minute 74

It had been the second game in a row that Michael Campbell deployed the 4-3-3; for once it finally seemed that he was trying to impose his sense of tactics on the team. What had been more baffling about it, however, was that instead of deploying two playmaking midfielders, Campbell had simply slapped two defensive midfielders on, told them to play a double pivot against the bottom-seeded StrayaRoos, and then left them to it. The result?

1-1 in the 74th minute.

The eyebrow was raised, indicating that Campbell was somewhat displeased that his style of play hadn't produced a one-goal lead by now. To be fair, Tumbra had taken the lead early, and held it into the half-time break; a defensive slip-up, rare on Stephen Kerr's part, had levelled the score. Michael Aitken, the assistant manager, was desperately trying to see if subbing on Julie Hardaker, Susan Monaghan, or Edward Maddison would provide the boost of energy needed; but Campbell, ever stubborn, held off. His first two subs, in the seventieth minute, were Rachel McLaren for Victor Leighton and, bafflingly, Yvonne Lawson for Wendy Pritchett.

What made it baffling wasn't the fact that Lawson and Pritchett were centre-backs, mind, though the thought of a defensive substitution was somewhat confusing when all Tumbra needed was a goal to move on to the second stage of the World Cup (something they infamously failed to achieve at each of their three group stage eliminations in World Cups 92, 94, and 96, where a single goal in those group stages would likely have moved them on). What made the Lawson-Pritchett sub, or even the McLaren-Leighton sub, all the more confusing was that there was a very clear target on the field that needed substitution...

Half-time

"Looks bad," said Campbell to Lucy Reynolds, the head physio, as she daubed some iodine on the head of team captain Trudy Harrison. Campbell and Reynolds were staring at the open gash on her defensive midfielder's head, while Harrison was staring head-on, unwilling to let the stinging sensation, or the injury as a whole, faze her. A few steps behind, Stephen Kerr, the centreback who was better known for being Harrison's long-term significant other (they both hated the term boyfriend and girlfriend), looked on, concern on his face.

"I'll be stitching it up," said Reynolds, her hair greyed as she saw Kerr wince slightly at the word stitch. Harrison, catching a glance at Kerr's expression, giggled slightly. "Just a temporary thing. We can get it checked after the match. You sure you don't want to sub her off?" Reynolds looked at Campbell, her look indicating that she probably thought this was a subbable injury.

Campbell glanced around the dressing room, making sure that the team's third defensive midfielder, Heather Hindmarsh, wasn't in sight. "No, I need control of the midfield. Only Trudy can provide that, I think. For now."

"I'm not injured," protested the midfielder, who finally showed a few signs that the pain might have been getting to her as the sutures were gradually sown into her scalp.

"Fuck off," said Stephen, almost instinctively. Trudy just laughed in response.

"How did this...even..." enquired Lucy as she wrapped the offending wound in gauze, the impromptu operation over, then took out what looked to be a veritable roll of bandages from her bag. Lucy started to wrap Trudy's head in bandages.

"She clattered into Alex Keane," said Campbell somewhat dismissively. "Dunno what he was doing." Lucy sighed in response to the manager's nonchalant response, and continued. She seemed to be using a lot more bandages than what was needed, but Campbell decided not to press the issue further. It was, after all,

"Done," she said after a few minutes. Trudy glanced at herself in a mirror, then held her hands out in front of her in imitation of a mummy.

"You look horrible," said Stephen.

"Thanks," retorted Trudy almost immediately, a grin on her face.

Minute 75

The sutures were said to be a temporary measure, but Campbell hadn't expected them to be that temporary. Lucy had gently advised against heading the ball, particularly where the stitches were, but Harrison was known to be stubborn at the best of times. That, and her position as a defensive midfielder meant that she was going to have to head the ball sometimes. Campbell simply sighed internally as he saw the first red spot on the bandage; that spot then turned into a blot, then a puddle, and then —

By the time of the first substitutions, Trudy's white shirt — the chosen colour of this year's third jersey, along with mint undertones — was caked with red. "Are you sure you don't want to bring her off —" began Aitken.

"She's still got the numbers." Campbell glanced down at his tablet, which had detailed live match statistics as they happened. When he was playing he'd never really thought that this would be possible, but now every pass was recorded the moment it was made, every shot instantly having an xGoal number fitted to it. "I'm not willing to give that up." He circled Charlotte Henshaw's name in red, a clear sign that she was about to be brought off; Lynne Crossley was underlined in yellow, highlighting that her performance was declining the longer the game went on. "We want to fix this, we fix the attack."

His eyes, however, flickered up to look at a promising play; left-back Annie Renton had the ball, and was speeding down the wing. She crossed it in; the unmistakable visage of a red-clad Trudy Harrison went diving in, head first, and then —

Well, there was the goal they needed. He raised his arms in celebration, then grimaced while smiling at the sight of Trudy's blood running down the side of her head. The entire front of her shirt was just red now.

"...Yeah, pull her off. Send Heather on."

"Another defensive substitution? If you say so," murmured Aitken at his superior's decision.

"Well, we've got a one-goal lead," the manager smiled as he went to talk to both Julie Hardaker and Heather Hindmarsh, the next two substitutions. "That's enough for me."

[Gnejs]

Whatever happened to Sverker Danielsson?

Part ten: Forecasting in uncertain times

Meeting Minutes - Operation Destiny’s Cup Task Force - Extraordinary meeting

Location:
Meeting Room Gneissic Banding, PUFF Headquarters, Meridian Quarter, Port Kejm.

Participants:
• Svea Vichy, Prosaic Union Football Federation (PUFF), Chairperson
• Valdemar Horn, Prosaic Union Football Federation (PUFF), Meeting Secretary
• Thom Öland, Ministry of Culture, Sports and other Charitable Activities (MCSCA)
• Sonja Hammare, Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA)
• Woman in gray suit and twintails, Ministry of The Interior (MTI)

Absent:
• Sverker Danielsson, Prosaic Union Football Federation (PUFF).

Agenda:

1.
Welcome (coffee and pastry)
2.
Review of Operation Destiny’s Cup (background and project objectives)
3.
Interpretive Challenges (discussion)
4.
Action Plan for Future and Voting

Meeting Summary:

1.
The meeting was called to order at 14.00, with Vichy chairing the meeting. Horn was appointed Meeting Secretary. Öland was responsible for making sure everyone had coffee/tea and suitable pastry at hand (shortcrust with an almond filling; something akin to a Prince’s Cake, although without the signature lattice pattern on top). All summoned Task Force members were present, with the exception of Danielsson, who has been confirmed to be residing in an alternative dimension/sentient bubble universe and is not expected to return, cf. meeting point 3 for details concerning his whereabouts and 4 where his dismissal from the Task Force was voted upon.

2.
A brief overview of Operation Destiny’s Cup was provided by Vichy, including the tribulations of the lost Cracquet delegation, the delivery of the prophecy and its contents, the quest for valleyman Enda Clentin and his subsequent hiring as the new coach for the Prosaic Union National Football Team, colloquially called «The Dandelions». Horn re-stated the objective set for Operation Destiny’s Cup, namely monitoring the unfolding of faith whereby the The Dandelions, guided by Enda Clentin, wins the World Cup (WC), as it was foretold by the prophet. It was explained that unlike ordinary Task Force meetings that are usually held after the fact, that is, after the competition known as the WC has concluded and The Dandelions have or have not won said competition, today’s extraordinary meeting was convened while Union WC faith is still to be decided (it looks rather bleak though). This was due to new information being made available to the Task Force that could potentially shine a new light on the primary objective as such.

3.
Vichy expounded on Horn’s statement and explained that the Task Force had convened extraordinarily because information relayed by an MTI operative - obtained during said operative’s search for Task Force member Sverker Danielsson in an alternative dimension/sentient bubble universe - could potentially indicate that Enda Clentin already had, in a manner of speaking, guided The Dandelions to winning the WC and that it thereby was entirely possible that the unfolding of faith the Task Force was set to monitor had already unfolded (unmonitored).

Vichy handed over to the woman in gray suit and twintails, who proceeded to give some more details from the MTI operative’s account. She explained, in little detail, that the person they’d sent out to find Sverker Danielsson had succeeded to do so (in an alternative dimension/sentient bubble universe), and that Danielsson’s previous conditioning (by former Dandelion Göran Drake, now known as supervillain «The Drake») into thinking he was really Enda Clentin had developed in a surprising direction - «because Wight», however it is unclear what that actually means - whereby he had seemingly become Enda Clentin, in a sense. The woman in gray suit and twintails declined to elaborate on the specifics of what this actually meant, and instead continued explaining that while on mission the MTI operative had acquired intelligence that Danielsson, in his persona as Enda Clentin, was operating as a coach of a local football team called Dandelion Town FC, and had subsequently witnessed Danielsson/Clentin performing this task and in so also guiding his team to winning the local Waterloo Cup (WC).

Therefore, the woman in gray suit and twintails continued, it would seem like Enda Clentin, in a way, had guided The Dandelions to winning a WC, as the prophecy foretold would happen. She closed by stating that the MTI were uncertain how to understand the situation, mainly because their main interpreter of Delphic occurrences had always been a bit of an unreliable narrator. For example, it seemed the prophecy - according to what they had deciphered from going over their interpreters' interpretations once again - always spoke of the competition to be won as «WC» and never «World Cup», which further complicated the matter.

Vichy thanked the woman in gray suit and twintails, and summarized the predicament: when the prophecy spoke of Enda Clentin guiding The Dandelions to winning the WC, did it speak of the original Enda Clentin guiding The Prosaic Union National Football Team, colloquially called «The Dandelions», or did it speak of the Enda Clentin that Sverker Danielsson became, guiding the the team actually called Dandelion Town FC.

4.
Vichy, supported by Hammare, made a motion that the Task Force should recommend PUFF to end their affiliation with the Enda Clentin coaching The Prosaic Union National Football Team, close down Operation Destiny’s Cup and disband the Task Force. The grounds were that it was reasonable to believe that the unfolding of faith the Task Force was set to monitor had occurred and that the prophecy had been fulfilled. Öland, supported by Horn, made a counter-motion that the Task Force should recommend PUFF to keep Operation Destiny’s Cup, and the Task Force, operative and allow the Enda Clentin that coaches The Dandelions to continue to do so, because in their assessment it was not reasonable to assume that the winning of the ••WC•• by ••Enda Clentin•• in an alternate universe was the true unfolding of faith and what the prophecy had foretold, and that the prime objective of the Task Force and Operation Destiny’s Cup had still not been met.

The woman in gray suit and twintails voted for the second motion, citing that they needed more time to ascertain what kind of faith had unfolded and to what extent it was related to the prophecy. She added that if it indeed turned out that the prophecy had been fulfilled - to the extent that it is possible to ascertain something like this - she would recommend that the first motion be put to another vote, where the MTI would be voting affirmatively. This turn of events would also require a thorough evaluation of the Task Force, because then faith unfolded unmonitored, which must be viewed as a failure on the part of the Task Force, since monitoring the unfolding of faith was its primary objective.

The Task Force then collectively agreed to revoke Sverker Danielsson's Task Force membership, seeing as he is now ••Enda Clentin••.

Closing Remarks
Vichy thanked all participants for their valuable contributions

The meeting was adjourned at 15.00.

Next Meeting:
The next Task Force meeting was scheduled for a week after The Prosaic Union National Football Team had concluded their participation in the ongoing WC (as in World Cup).

Action Items:

• MTI responsible for further investigations of whether or not the prophecy has been fulfilled.
• Vichy responsible for informing Danielsson’s family that he is now an alternate version of Enda Clentin and will not be returning.
• Horn responsible for preparing a suitable evaluation methodology.

Note:
These minutes will be circulated among the participants for review and approval before the next meeting.

Prepared by: Meeting Secretary Valdemar Horn, PUFF

[Mertagne]

NEVEZANT TETRARCH ABDICATES POSITION IN FACE OF MOUNTING CORRPUTION EVIDENCE
Five days of intense hearings force the hand of Gwenael Quermere

Nevezant, THE KARODIN TETRARCHY-- Nevezant Tetrarch Gwenael Quermere has abdicated from her position as Tetrarch of the Karodinian province of Nevezant, in an unprecedented move during an inquiry that presented pressing evidence connecting the leader to illicit investments in her brother's sapphire mine within the province.

The second week of the Tetrarch's review by community leaders from provinces outside of Nevezant, set into motion by the delivery of a petition two months ago by Nevezant landowners, was scheduled to continue as planned earlier today, but the proceedings, in the city's Courthouse, have been suspended following the release of a statement from the former Karodinian leader.

In the statement, Quemere claims that the misappropriation of funds was to 'cover a glaring hole in the budget and prevent extreme hardship to the citizens of Nevezant' and that the situation 'rapidly got out of control and required snap decisions to be made for the betterment of the community'. She lamented that 'clearly the decision [she] made was the wrong one', and in 'a rare showing of accountability for Tetrarchs, [she] has decided to allow the communities of Nevezant to take matters into their own hands and propose a new leader', one that would hopefully 'be more free of the trappings of the office'.

The previous week's deliberations, by community leaders assembled from Havreg, Porzhibihan, and Hirtraez, have occurred behind closed doors, but it has been known that several high-profile adjudicators and civil servants from Mertagne's Lumsdaine Enquiry have been present to deliver evidence. Within the enquiry, Lumsdaine's team audited the office of the Nevezant Tetrarch to find clear signs of former Tetrarch Quemere unjustly investing funds earmarked for disaster relief into private businesses, of which she notable connections to her have an active stake in. It is likely that this evidence was presented to the council, alongside testimony from a variety of high ranking civil servants in the office of the Tetrarch, many of which have been seen leaving the courthouse over the last week.

The announcement of this abdication means that community leaders within Nevezant will now gather to determine a delegate for Tetrarch, which will then be ratified by the other Tetrarchs of the Karodin Tetrarchy. Several key community figures are believed to be in the running for selection, including prominent ceannard Adeline Morag, who heads a large lumber family. One particular candidate worth watching is ceannard Etain Harveye, who has been known to be a proponent of further integration with Mertagne, due to hailing from a township close to the border. Harveye has been seen meeting with Linden Saloman, former Governor of bordering Harridan province, several times in Claviers over the last few months. If Harveye can claim the position of Tetrarch, having an ally such as Saloman in tow could prove fruitful in strengthening the sluggish Nevezant economy, and improving the lives of the citizens that are still feeling the effects from the wildfires 18 months ago.

Other news from across the nation:

• NATIONAL: IIII reveals previously classified Bostopian plot for sea-invasion of Karodin Tetrarchy
• POLITICS: WUM minority government 'untenable' claims Mertagnian Conservative Linden Saloman, promoted to National Forum in bid to oust Hope
• CLIMATE: Meterologists predict Mertagne's next year's 'cold snap' could be worst in 100 years
• ECONOMY: Construction of T40 bridge expected to be 'hundreds of millions' over budget due to winter delays

---

BOLD VISION FOR MERTAGNIAN CONSERVATIVES AS KARUSSELL BEGINS
Saloman claims Mertagnian Conservatives offer 'More for Mertagne' as MC target WUM majority in Sparth

Gilrane, Sparth, MERTAGNE-- Linden Saloman spoke alongside Tracy Worsley, Mertagnian Conservative (MC) candidate for Sparth Governor, in a speech kicking off the Mertagnian Conservative's campaign for this year's Regional Forum elections, taking place in Sparth and the Forkelands. The Forkelands, a province that has been held by the MC for the last six years and a key stronghold location for the centre-right party, was not the location for their launch speech, as instead Gilraine, in Sparth, was chosen. Speaking in an emptied loading yard for a cargo station alongside the Trans-Calanian Railway, Saloman, introduced by Tracy Worsley, emphasised that a Mertagnian Conservative win here in the province would 'give a decisive mandate to govern to the winning party', and that by voting for the MC, give the public an opportunity to get 'More for Mertagne'.

The politics of Das Karusell, Mertagne's revolving election format, rarely mean that national policy dominates the election cycle outside of the year it lands in Dannmarsh, but the unique situation that current Grand Regent Brandon Hope finds himself in means that any movement of the needle against him could mean making some difficult compromises. As National Forum seats are comprised proportionally from Regional Forum seats, Hope's party, the Worker's Unions of Mertagne (WUM), need to match or improve on their existing 34 of 55 regional seats here in Sparth. Many of these seats have been hard won in the wake of the Bostopian Conflict, as Hope's tenure as leader of the coalition government endeared his party as a second-place option in the eyes of voters across the political spectrum, leading to WUM victory in many seats due to the instant-runoff nature of Regional Forum elections.

Saloman and his Mertagnian Conservaties, who are currently the second largest party in the National Forum, will be looking to repolarise Sparth's politics and encourage as many first preference votes as possible. A key voting block believed to be targeted by MC strategists during this summer will be first-preference Unified Mertagne Party (UMP) voters, who typically sit more centrally than the center-left WUM and are therefore closer, certainly in fiscal policy, to the package proposed by the Mertagnian Conservatives.

However, it is likely to be the UMP, with its current batch of 34 NFMs, that the Mertagnian Conservatives will likely have to ally with in order to secure a government in the National Forum. Aurrera!, currently the third biggest party in the National Forum, with a core left-wing voter base in Freskovia and Touchpoint, have ruled out working with the Mertagnian Conservatives, and are positioning themselves staunchly in opposition to the slimming down of government and clipping of taxes to business that the Mertagnian Conservatives are looking to propose in their new manifesto.

In his speech, Linden Saloman claimed that Mertagne needed to do everything possible to 'remain competitive within ACORN' and present an 'attractive investment base to continue to revitalise the post-war economy' and stop the 'disintermediation of our brightest and best to other nations'. Referencing the Trans-Calanian Railway behind him from the lectern, Saloman noted that Mertagne was 'uniquely positioned in Calania' by having one of the most critical stretches of the TCR, providing easy access to nations such as Huayramarca, Starblaydia, and Krytenia via it. Furthermore, Sparth itself was 'a treasure trove of natural resources' referring to the province's natural gas production, and that by 'securing the energy supply for Mertagnians, we can burn the brightest while sharing in the off surplus with our allies'.

Saloman has proven to have a strong track record in leadership, due to his work as Governor for Harridan Province over the last seven years, which he has seen through a national conflict and natural disasters, including the wildfires in the province nearly two years ago. In endorsing Tracy Worsley, who is running for the RFM seat in Gilrane and hopes to become the Governor in the event of a Mertagnian Conservative victory, Saloman claimed that she was the 'right person to steer the ship', and will 'ensure that Mertagne continues to make the most of the opportunity of ACORN, while safeguarding the interests of the province'.

Other news from across the nation:

• NATIONAL: Dannin refuse collection strike enters second week - Regional Forum proposes talks
• HEALTH: Freskovian Mertagnians flocking to Legalese for cheaper dentistry - 'Tabeck Teeth' new trend
• NEW FLIGSIVE: Serial killer 'left victims to rot in bath' as trial continues
• CLIMATE: Spring floods bring more 'wet' to 'wetlands'

[Mytanija]

MYTANIJA 3-4 BANIJA

MYT: Ovsyannikov 50’; Kovačec 70’, 77’

BNJ: Son-Saka 11’, 19’; Kagenda 55’, Aan 84’

MYT: 1. Vasilevski; 2. Jesenko (sub. Isidora 65’), 3. Mbala-Ekakia (c), 4. Vlahovljaković, 5. Lusamba; 18. Frantsaliiski (sub. Stojadinović–Srpkinja 65’), 6. Papež (sub. Gicić 83’), 8. Šaranja (sub. Stanoev 65’); 10. Ovsyannikov; 9. Issoumou, 11. Papić–Papratović (sub. Kovačec 65’)

Trying to play a controlled game had not worked against Banija. Layvin Son-Saka had burnt Mytanija twice for pace, arrowing in behind the defence like a bolt of lightning and finishing precisely beyond a helpless Alekso Vasilevski each time. The Hoops had been shocked early on once again, the slow starts were coming back to haunt them and once again they had a mountain to climb. Against Eastfield Lodge Potap Vdovichenko had seen red at this point, both figuratively and literally, but thankfully everybody held their heads this time and regrouped. The Mytanars survived, getting to half-time without conceding another goal and giving Ermin Držić half a chance of getting some tactical instructions into his players in the break.

When Mytanija came out after half-time and pulled one back within five minutes, it looked like things were looking up, Denis Ovsyannikov curling a shot outside the post and back inside it to halve the deficit in trademark fashion. Unfortunately, Mytanija were not able to control the game after getting the goal back, Banija causing problems against the high defensive line every single time and a searching forward ball from Kutaaka Muteesa had the whole Mytanar team turned on its heels only five minutes after scoring. The pass was for Odongo Kagenda and the right-sided attacker took a brilliant first touch to get the ball instantly out of his feet, before lashing a shot past Vasilevski. This time the 1896 Ebor goalkeeper didn’t even have time to dive – 3-1 to Banija. The mountain Mytanija thought they’d made some progress on actually turned out to be merely the foothills of an even greater challenge.

Ermin Držić hadn’t been overly aggressive with substitutions at all during his time as Mytanija head coach, but this time he decided to pursue a different path. Mytanija were in a real hole. The fact that a number of third-place sides would progress could have pushed him to just shut up shop and try and come back fresh for the final group game against Saint Eleanor, but he didn’t want to limit himself to only one opportunity to gain points so he decided to go more or less as aggressive as he could have with his substitutions. When the fourth official’s board went up to broadcast the substitutions the Mytanija head coach wanted to make their was a slightly surprised and then excited ripple of noise from the travelling band of Mytanars in the stands. A fairly audible ‘wow, he’s really going for this!’ type of noise.

Four changes at once. Mumin Jesenko, the bloody left-back, off for Isidora Šuvaković Šepa - a number ten! Stoja Stanoev, another number ten, on for the right-sided central midfielder Ante Šaranja and Goran Papić–Papratović off for young Blaž Kovačec. Sure, he was also bringing Gavrilo Stojadinović–Srpkinja on for Slavko Frantsaliiski to add some brawn next to Nurija Papež in this hastily thrown together narrow 3-2-3-2 formation, but that was neither here nor there – this was an exciting, attacking set of changes, and a real gamble from a coach who wanted to try and salvage something from the game. It was a change from the fairly formulaic changes most Mytanija head coaches would make in these scenarios.

Suddenly the Hoops were playing some attractive stuff, albeit always running the risk of conceding counterattacks, but the trio of number tens were causing issues in and around Banija’s midfield two, with their number ten Yob Banda often isolated ahead of where Mytanija’s creative players were causing issues. Denis Ovsyannikov and Isidora played a nice one-two before Ovsi slipped Blaž Kovačec in behind the Banija defence, Kovačec forced slightly out towards the right of the goal before managing to wrap his foot around the ball to redirect it into the far corner of the net. Now it was Biran Jarju’s turn to be stranded in his goal. Kovačec immediately ran to pick the ball up and return it to the halfway line, Mytanija had twenty minutes and whatever injury time was added on to find an equaliser.

They wouldn’t have to wait that long, Isidora sending a fantastic through ball out towards the left-side of the pitch for Stoja Stanoev to run onto and the diminutive creator was allowed to run in towards goal to simply square the ball for Kovačec to turn home his second goal in seven minutes. All of a sudden, it was 3-3, Mytanija were level. Their third had been the most straightforward of the three and it had almost been like the Banijans had switched off, it was hardly like they had players rushing back, they would surely be furious with the manner in which they conceded the equaliser. Držić now had to reckon with whether or not to restore the number of defenders on the pitch back to four, to try and secure the point they had miraculously wrenched back from the Banijans.

Eventually he decided to bring on Uglješa Gicić for Papež, a change aimed at ensuring the Mytanar midfield would have the legs to see out the game, a change designed to provide Mytanija with lots of energy in the closing minutes in case they conceded a counter against the pacy Banijan forwards. Držić may have rued the decision pretty quickly. Despite his well thought out and well-intentioned late substitution, Mytanija would concede a fourth goal, though not from a counterattack. Instead, Mytanija conceded what appeared to be a fairly innocuous free-kick around forty metres from goal out towards the right-hand side of the pitch. Banija punished them for it.

A clever set-piece caused Mytanija all sorts of problems, the sort of goal any Mytanar coach would have been proud of himself. Son-Saka took the free-kick, but instead of crossing it he played a drilled pass into the feet of Jônn Wérséô with his back to goal and the Banijan-Farfish dual national immediately trapped the ball before knocking it out of his feet with a deft touch for Yob Yeyeh Aan to run onto. Aan is well known to Mytanars, having played well for Atletik before really showing what he can do for FK Arsika and then most recently over in Kelssek. Naturally it would be him that would inflict the killer blow, Aan running onto the ball and side-footing it into the net with such graceful technique that Držić could only shake his head in disappointment on the sideline.

Mytanija wouldn’t have their win tonight. The hard work, coming back from 2-0 down to 2-1, from 3-1 down to 3-3, all for nought. Držić would have to pick them up to go again one last time against Saint Eleanor, with Mytanija needing a win just to have a chance of progression... and even that might not be enough.

[Banija]

Banijan manager George Wangolo, speaking to RBSA Executive Chairman Baku Simbwa the night before their training session, at 9 PM

Baku Simbwa was thoroughly enjoying his time as the RBSA's Executive Chairman. This was his first cycle in charge of the whole operation of the Royal Banijan Soccer Assocation. The NMU grad had made his career in the business of football, spending the last 6 years as the Executive Chairman of Jinja City Football Club in the S-FPL. The last Executive Chairman of the RBSA had resigned along with Pam Scott after the last regional tournament, and he had been tasked with hitting the ground running as the RBSA's Executive Chairman. Now, of course, he was pulling double duty right now being in Eastfield Lodge- as the head of the RBSA, he was also the titular head of the Cup of Harmony 89 Host Committee, which was being hosted entirely in Banija.

There are many ways in which to judge the job of the suits. The ability to bring major tournaments to Banija, and pull them off successfully, was of course one way. The decision to not find any co-bidders and have Banija bid alone to host the Cup of Harmony was certainly one that was controversial amongst the board- but ultimately, they backed his push for Banija to bring the tournament to home soil, and so far, it has been going off without a hitch. It wasn't really talked about, but the decision to leave out the Busoga Islands, who traditionally hosted at least a few games whenever the Banijans put on a major tournament, was also slightly controversial among those who were 'in the know'. While he was largely at home while watching the Banijans on TV, he had to come to Eastfield Lodge for this.

George Wangolo, of course, had spent basically the lion's share of the last 10 cycles immersed deep in Quebecois football culture. One of the harshest and most radical fan cultures out there, he was manager of their NT for 3 cycles, and he managed Montreal City for the last 5 seasons before returning home to take this job. What does that have to do with anything? It means that he was used to dealing with some of the harshest ultras the world had to offer. Quebecois, Farf, Mytanar- who can match those ultra cultures? Willing to do and say anything to gain the slightest advantage. When the Banijans were drawn with the tournament's co-hosts, to play the final group game, no less, George Wangolo had told his superiors that they needed a plan to deal with ultras.

"We're going to have to be on the move, like, all the damn time." Wangolo told the Board a while ago. He knew how those Quebecois fans would be- he was applying it to the EFL fans. But, after some secretive, intensive research, it was largely determined that they would not need to figure out a plan to avoid the ultras- that kind of intensity and violence was not a part of EFL footballing culture. They would stamp that out- the chances of native Eastfielders, for example, drumming outside their hotel all night was simply not going to happen. Everybody understood that EFL police would arrest those people, and it was so well understood that things like that were not even attempted.

But after they had arrived in Eastfield Lodge, there was something their scouts noted that they hadn't taken into account- foreign ultras. What? You read that right- Eastfield Lodge has a cult following among foreign fans. We've all seen the Idiot Project. Their 49th World Cup cycle- they've only had two successful World Cup Qualification campaigns. Two! Their first ever win at a World Cup Finals was on Matchday 1 of this very tournament, in their 49th cycle- an insane statistic. One of the longest participating WC nations, just getting its first win. But that has garnered them a cult following- one, of course, for not being very good. And there are plenty of foreign fans who have flocked to Eastfield Lodge, ready to get their party on.

Two days before their match against the host nation, the local native head of their security detail, Yousef Compton, had arrested three fans who were trying to play drums outside their hotel. There were internet rumors that more foreign fans would be there- with all sorts of drums, instruments, maybe even some sort of fireworks. That's what prompted Simbwa to get on a plane- while the CoH was more his responsibility, he knew that the performance of the NT at the World Cup Finals would do far more good (or bad) for his public image than the Cup of Harmony. That may not be the image that really matters, but of course, who doesn't like to be loved by the public?

So at Banija's training session, the Exec Chair and the manager had devised a plan. The RBSA had rented out a hotel block just 3 miles away from their current one- a little further from the city center, but still in the heart of New Lodger City. And here they were, about to execute said plan. "Baku, thanks for coming all the way out here on such short notice." George Wangolo told his boss. "It's already an all-out war if you want to get a result against the host nation- and if we want to clinch a spot in the next round without worrying about results elsewhere, our only option is to get at least a point here at Memorial Stadium- but, as you know, preferably we grab all three."

"This plan will work." Simbwa was nodding. Suddenly, the first aspect of the plan- bring out the biggest superstar, and have him go out and sign autographs. Banijan fans were queueing to get autographs from the captain and star player, Layvin Son-Saka, and nobody else was paying any sort of attention. There was a host of rickshaws sitting around the back of the hotel- you had the covers down on them, and slowly but surely, a number of Banijan players got on those rickshaws and left quietly into the night, for the other hotel. Nobody would be any the wiser. After about 30 minutes, he got word that players were arriving at the new hotel, nobody any the wiser.

"Let's do this." Wangolo said to his boss. Both then came out of the lobby, and outside to the front steps of the hotel. A mixture of cheers and jeers, from Banijan fans and the foreign EFL fans alike, as Wangolo's face was instantly recognizeable (the suits, of course, were rarely, if ever, recognizeable). "Fans of Banija!" He spoke out. Son-Saka, saying he had to go to the bathroom, slipped back into the hotel. There was no bathroom he had to go to, of course- he was going out of the back door to the hotel, to meet up with the last waiting rickshaw. Wangolo spoke about the support the fans had given the Kadongo Kamu, and told them to show up to the Memorial Stadium in droves- the host nation would clearly have their home field advantage, but that Banijan fans had to be remembered as well.

After about 5 minutes, assuming that Son-Saka had gotten on his rickshaw, it was Layvin's twin brother who walked out. No cameras were out here at this event- otherwise, someone might have called the Banijans on this switcheroo. Layvin Son-Saka had an identitical twin brother who did not play sports, nor was he famous in any way- just in shape enough to still pass for his much more famous brother. He did not sign any fraudulent autographs, of course. Simbwa stiffled his grin as Layvin's twin brother, Oscar, simply pumped his fist, as Layvin's agent said he was going to go to bed.

With that, everybody went back inside. As soon as they crossed the doors, Baku Simbwa fist bumped Oscar. "You think we fooled them?"

"Well, the rest of us ain't leaving- so hopefully." Wangolo said. The three men looked at each other, and went back to the hotel rooms. Now of course, that meant Banija had twice as many hotel blocks as necessary- and, seemed to largely be a good idea. The EFL police, as promised, did not let people play throughout the night. However, some of these cult fans from abroad did their best to try and keep the Banijans awake. A singular firework was set off at around 1 AM, and Wangolo thought he had heard some drumming at 4 AM.

Simbwa woke up at 7 AM, the day of the match, getting ready to check out- he needed to be on the first flight back to Banija. He spoke to the head of their security, Yousef Compton, as he woke up.

"Were we right? Was this necesary?" Simbwa asked. Compton simply shook his head.

"So many fans out here. It's awesome, but.. Man. Logistically, it's insane. But eh- like I said, we weren't going to allow people to play throughout the night. You heard the firework, I assume." Simbwa nodded as Compton continued. "That's the only one that was let off. We had a few drummers come in at like 4 AM, trying to play a little bit- but we arrested those guys for disturbing the peace too." Simbwa simply nodded.

"Well, better to be safe than sorry. We need these guys at peak energy if we want to beat y'all."

"See you at the game?" Compton asked.

"No." Simbwa replied. "I've gotta get back home- the Cup of Harmony stops for no man." And with that, he walked towards the nearest subway, taking an express route towards the airport. He had successfully snuck his players out of the hotel to ensure that they'd get their full 8 hours, ahead of their biggest match of the tournament(so far). Would that be enough for the Banijans to punch their tickets to the knockout stages?

[Milchama]

"Did we find the trick to winning?"

"What's the trick?"

"Apparently it's not doing anything"

"What do you mean?"

"Well we didn't RP and we won"

"So what are doing now?"

"Oh no"

"Yes"

"But wait!"

"Yes"

"That's just probably a residual impact from all our RPing"

"Are you sure?"

"I mean it's irrelevant right?"

"How?"

"Well what was our goal at the beginning of the World Cup"

"Draw one game so we could do better than the CoH"

"And?"

"Mission Accomplished!"

"Exactly"

"So everything from here is a bonus?"

"Precisely"

"Then what is the point of this RP?"

"Have you seen the group?"

"No"

"Oh, well you should"

P Group A                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Pasarga                      2   1  0  1    5   3  +2    3
2 Sargossa                     2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
3 West Barack and East Obama   2   1  0  1    4   5  −1    3
4 Milchama                     2   1  0  1    4   5  −1    3

"Oh my"

"Yep"

"So we can still advance?"

"Especially because 32 advance or maybe 24, I didn't really read the bid much past the THERE ARE 48 TEAMS WOO!!! part and lost the mechanics of the World Cup"

"Great!"

"We should probably look it up"

"I just did"

"And?"

"8 best 3rd place finishers advance"

"Hell yeah! Turn it up! Right on!"

"Is that from a country song?"

"Let's not get distracted, we can advance as a third place team and in a broken group that gives us a pretty good chance with just a draw"

"So thus the RP?"

"Precisely"

"That's good"

"Very good"

"What do we need to do now?"

"The obvious thing"

"Right, let us pray"

"Say what I say and do what I do"

"''Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 14 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over all infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

[Zenic]

"Now introducing: Mr. Geraldo Zys, manager of the Empire of Zenic National Futbol Team."

A sea of camera flashes and murmurs spread throughout the room as Zys walked over to his designated spot and sat down for his post-match press conference. He was happier than most times as he had been allowed a little extra time to celebrate with his team and have a post game speech. "Greetings everyone. Let's get started," he announced as the person in charger of the press conferences selected a reporter at random.

"Hello. Pleasure to meet you. First off, congratulations on the victory today. That makes one win at each of Zenic's three visits to the World Cup. How does it feel to keep that tradition alive as well as be responsible for most of those victories?" Zys nodded throughout the question as he took it all in. "Well, it's definitely an honor to be considered amongst the best like Sanders and Killian as great managers. Killian paved the way for my squad to aspire to the heights of the top nations in Futbol and Sanders paved the way for Killian and myself on how to win titles against such opponents. So, while it is an honor, I'm not satisfied yet and won't be until we ascend to the next level."

A light mixture of clapping and pencils scribbling preceded the next question. "Greetings. Can you go over what you believe went well during this victory against Zwangzug and what could have gone better compared to how things went the last time these two nations played?" Zys tapped his fingers on the table for a few seconds before responding. "I'm guessing you're referring to the 0-0 draw in Mertagne during World Cup 96? I think this time around, we did a great job of controlling the tempo of the match. Kept it from getting stuck in the middle just bounced between teams. Once Giuseppe scored around 40 minutes in, we did a great job of maintaining possession and not giving up easy chances, which is definitely an improvement from the qualifiers. Really got Shinji and Undeio jumpstarted on those flanks as well, vital to our style as always. Hank came out of nowhere with that assist, which is amazing. Props to him." The crowd chuckled. "Uh, I think everyone just did their jobs well and when that happens, these types of results tend to occur."

"Next reporter is you." Another reporter stood up in order to be better heard. "Hi. There have been statements made by the Zwangzugian side in regards to the stadium accommodations and environment. What are your opinions on these comments?" Zys contemplated even answering this question for a bit before he chose to do so. "I know roughly what was stated by our contemporaries on the other side of the pitch. I definitely understand where they are coming from: Rushmore is a region of varying terrain and climates that builds rough and hardy people. We may not be as homogenous as other regions so what you get in one nation won't be what you get in another, even if they are right next door. That can take a bit to get used to, or readjusted to in Zwangzug's case." Referencing Zwangzug's World Cup championship in the 92nd edition where they beat Banija 2-1 in Electrum, a Rushmori nation. "Obviously, locker rooms are more a matter of taste and cost so that's an inquiry better handled by CA Paulinthal and Pasarga's futbol federation. So, that's the most I can say in respect to that. Any further questions?"

A couple of head shakes here and there confirmed that the press conference was over. "Thank you. Have a nice day," Zys said as he stood up and walked back to the home locker room. "That went pretty well," Mara Tipi announced as Zys walked through the door. "Better than expected, that's for sure. Do you have it?" Mara handed over one of the two manila folders she was carrying; which one she handed over didn't matter as they had identical contents. "Is this everything we have on Edsmontik: Baptism, Qualifiers, and World Cup?," asked Zys as he walked and perused. "Everything except for the match against Kelssek but we'll have that once the match is over." Zys nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"One more game and we're back in the knockout stages: we CANNOT screw this up. We're gonna leave not ONE single stone left unturned."

[Eastfield Lodge]

The Lodger

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Sport >>> Football >>> World Cup 97

Noble equaliser leaves destiny within Eastfield Lodge’s hands

Eastfield Lodge line-up

GK: Amin Horak
CB: Jazzmine Sky-Afzal
CB: Jazzmine Guillou
CB: Jarred Fawcett-Ferrand (<> Travis Boyd 73’)
RWB: October Lie
DMF: Harun Farrow (<> Zakaria Webber 45’)
LWB: Leyton Begum (<> Emmie Toure 85’)
RWF: Monique Fredrich (<> Boet Caceres 45’)
LWF: Sundus Gebo-McGraw
AMF: Paisley Lysander
ST: Fidelina Noble (<> Ramsey Dean-Jamal 73’)

Saint Eleanor line-up

GK: Arielle Richardson
CB: Lydia Vickers
CB: Esther Launceston
CB: Katy Wilson
DMF: Bridget Coombe
DMF: Sylvia Hollenberg (<> Kavezalea Felaraneta 84’)
RMF: Rachel Curran
LMF: Graham Lawson (<> Cathy Winchester 64’)
AMF: Kichirō Matsuda (<> Steve Pilchard 73’)
ST: Rick Goldsmith
ST: Tim Hart (<> Olympia Woodward 73’)

World Cup 97 Group G - Matchday 2
Eastfield Lodge 1-1 Saint Eleanor
Noble (70’); Curran (23’)

57% - Possession - 43%
9 - Shots - 15
3 - Shots on Target - 7
9 - Corners - 6
12 - Fouls - 10

Location: Lodger City Memorial Stadium, New Lodger City, Eastfield Lodge
Attendance: 148,137

A second half thunderbolt from Fidelina Noble cancelled out Rachel Curran’s first half deflected effort for a much changed Saint Eleanor side, giving the World Cup co-hosts an extremely valuable point heading into the final group game, with control over their destiny within their grasp.

Following on from their shock opening day victory against Mytanija, the Imperial Commonwealth has very much been in a party mood for the past few days, the ecstasy of the nation’s first ever World Cup finals win reverberating around even those not so inclined to the football. However, Robert Andrews would name an unchanged side to face the group’s top seeds in Saint Eleanor, a team that was looking to live up to their highest ever KPN ranking of 11 but struggled to find their rhythm to the fullest extent in a 1-1 opening day draw against second seeds Banija, a result putting the co-hosts in charge of the group out of the gates. Perhaps it was to no surprise then that Gentle Breeze rang the changes in this match, even switching formation to a relatively rare back three much but in a more defensive style - full backs Winchester and Davies would both be dropped in favour of Rachel Curran at wing back and Katy Wilson as the extra centre-back, whilst attacking players Pilchard and Northend were also dropped to enable the formation change, holding midfielder Sylvia Hollenburg and striker Tim Hart coming in as their replacements.

Despite their defensive style of play, it would be Saint Eleanor that controlled the early proceedings after kick off, sitting deep and hitting the hosts hard on the counter with relative ease, best demonstrated less than 5 minutes in after Hart picked Harun Farrow’s pocket and played through Curran, the wingback managing to sting the palms of Amin Horak in the Eastfielder net from the edge of the box. That’s not to say that the Imperial Commonwealth did not have chances of their own, with opening day hero Gebo-McGraw nicking the post after a neat bit of interplay between himself, Lysander and Noble to allow the Stags midfielder to dance through the Saint Eleanor defence. The visitors should have taken the lead after 16 minutes though, when a clearance from keeper Arielle Richardson was poorly judged by Jazzmine Guillou, who managed to head it the wrong direction and into the path of the on-running Hart 1-on-1 with Horak, only for the Tikariot-based striker to chip both him and the empty Eastfielder net in one go - Matsuda left the most frustrated as a square ball would have left him with the easiest of tap ins.

They did atone for the mistake shortly after though, as Rachel Curran broke the deadlock following a corner, her shot from the edge of the box deflecting off the head of Jarred Fawcett-Ferrand and wrong footing Horak in the Eastfield Lodge net to give the visitors what was probably a deserved lead. However, it only served to whip the crowd up, and in that unscientific and indescribable way football works, the players most certainly responded to that encouragement - it took Richardson diving at full stretch less than 3 minutes after the opener to deny Noble’s spinning dipping half-volley from 25 yards from snatching a surprise quick equaliser, but the game quickly became a much more equal affair, with both sides seemingly well aware that a single goal cushion would not be enough to settle this match. The best chance in the rest of the half was a direct free kick effort from captain Bridget Coombe, rattling the angle of post and crossbar from the corner of the box with a looping cross-cum-shot that Horak failed to get anywhere near.

The hosts made a couple of changes at half time, bringing on Boet Caceres and Zakaria Webber, the latter making their national team debut, and they nearly paid off immediately as Caceres picked up the ball on the halfway line and immediately drove towards goal, taking on and holding off both Coombe and Vickers before being tripped right on the edge of the box. The referee initially awarded it a penalty, only to go over and speak to the assistant referee before changing their mind and awarding a free kick on the edge of the box - Coombe’s hand in the back a yard or so out deemed to be the first offending foul. That would set a pattern though, and the Royals midfielder seemed to have the Saint Eleanor defence beat for most of the second half, despite the visitors continuing to generate good chances of their own - Goldsmith should definitely have doubled the visitors advantage from a corner routine that saw him unmarked and in relative acres of space, only to completely mistime the header and scoop it upwards into the crowd.

The major moment though came in the 70th minute with possibly the goal of the tournament, as the hosts would launch a rare counter-attack off a period of Saint Eleanor possession, with Zakaria Webber launching a brilliant cross-field ball to try and release Noble, the Olympia striker not even needing an invitation before latching onto the ball from the top of the D and volleying it first time past her marker with enough speed to leave Richardson rooted to her spot on the goalline. A spectacular equaliser, and one that was definitely coming with how well Eastfield Lodge were holding their own. Unfortunately, it also proved to be Noble’s last contribution to the match, hobbling off minutes later with what seemed to be an ankle issue, sparking a flurry of changes on both sides with varying aims.

Following that goal, the match became a bit more attritional, as both sides were refusing to give up any more goals of their own in the first instance, the middle of the park becoming more of a warzone as neither side managed to string more than few key passes together and bitty fouls racking up plenty. Boet Caceres was the first to come close to a winning goal, fizzing a snapshot wide of the left hand post that Richardson had covered, whilst Olympia Woodward also came close to breaking the tie, the substitute striker flicking a free kick just over the outstretched glove of Amin Horak and onto the bar. Neither side managed any convincing efforts beyond those going into stoppage time, as tiredness saw more passes go astray - still, Goldsmith had a gilt-edged chance to win the match for the visitors in the final minute of stoppage time, an exquisite run from Cathy Winchester who fired a low cross across the face of goal but just beyond the boot of the striker, a simple touch all that was needed.

However, the match would end with honours even, a result that most definitely favoured the Imperial Commonwealth over their visitors. With Banija narrowly defeating Mytanija in a thrilling seven goal match, the two sides yet to meet currently sit at the top of the table, but Eastfield Lodge do possess the better goal difference having beaten Mytanija by a larger scoreline. Saint Eleanor sit in third with two points, whilst Mytanija remain rooted to the bottom, yet to secure a point. The destiny of the group is very much in hands of Robert Andrews and his players - a draw would be enough to advance to the knockouts regardless of results elsewhere due to superior goal difference over Banija, whilst even a narrow loss would likely be enough to advance as one of the best third place teams should Saint Eleanour beat Mytanija - a draw or loss however will see the Imperial Commonwealth through regardless.

---

Likely line-up to play Banija (3-3-3-1)
Horak - Sky-Afzal, Guillou, Duncan-Berntsen - Farrow, Lie, Begum - Fredrich, Allred, Gebo-McGraw - Dean-Jamal
Suspended: N/A
Injured: Noble (out for MD3 - knock)

[Hapilopper]

(NOTE: The following is a dream sequence. All of this happened inside Ernie Stevenson's head.)

The Stevenson House, King’s Row, Hapilopper City
Tuesday morning - about 6:45 a.m.

It was a normal morning for Ernie Stevenson, the assistant coach of Ellis Football. He had been awake since 5:30 in the morning, had a breakfast of peanut butter toast, a banana, some oranges and a glass of iced tea, gotten cleaned up and was on his way to the Hapilopper Football Association offices for a day of work. He knew he’d have to work on some tactics with his boss, acting head coach Thom Perkins, and he’d have to review game film for the upcoming opponents. But when he started backing his car out, to his surprise, the sensors at the rear started blaring a warning siren to him.

Immediately, Ernie figured his kids had left their bikes out in the driveway so he got out to move them. But to his surprise, there were two dozen or so garden gnomes, wearing yellow shirts, standing in front of his car on the driveway.

Ernie was puzzled. He knew that his next door neighbors, the Schneiders, loved their garden gnomes and that they knew that his wife, Wendy, positively hated them. So they’d put those garden gnomes in strategic locations in a way to piss her off. And occasionally they’d dress up these garden gnomes in strange costumes - dressed as race car drivers, ultraviolent pro wrestlers, characters from space operas, prog rock icons, you get the idea. But these gnomes were dressed as soccer players - and a closer glance indicated these gnomes looked a little different from the gnomes the Schnieders had.

Ernie walked of the garage, grabbing a lead pipe against the side of the garage. He had warned the Schneiders - if these gnomes ended up on his property, he had free reign to do whatever he saw fit to them. And at this point, he saw fit to blast these gnomes to kingdom come with a home run-quality shot from a lead pipe.

But as Ernie was about to swing at one of the gnomes, he heard them start to mutter amongst themselves.

“Chitter-chitter-chitter.... WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

To Ernie’s horror, the garden gnomes lept up in the air and towards him.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! GAAAA!” Ernie rushed into the house as the gnomes seemingly lept his way. He slammed the door - loud enough for everyone else in the house to hear - loud enough for Wendy, who was getting Nate and Patty Stevenson ready for school, to come down and see what was going on.

“Ernie, what the hell?” Wendy asked.

“Don’t open the door. Don’t open the door...” Ernie pleaded as Wendy incredulously opened the door, thinking her husband had lost her marbles.

“WEEEEEE!!!!”

(NOTE: The preceding is a dream sequence. All of this happened inside Ernie Stevenson's head.)

The Hapilopper Team Hotel, Stein-los, Pasarga
The present day - a day and a night before World Cup 97 Match 3: Hapilopper v. the Holy Empire
“GAAAAA! NO, GOD DAMN IT! MOTHER FUCKER!”

But Ernie Stevenson looked around, and to his relief, there were no knee-high argumentative ankle-biting garden gnomes with springs in their football boots in front of him. He wasn’t at his house. To his relief, he was in Pasarga, in a very nice hotel room in Stein-los, and his wife, Wendy, was sleeping next to him - or at least, she was until Ernie shot up out of his slumber cussing up a storm.

She laid there, didn’t even bother to look at her husband and shook her head.

“Something wrong, Ernie?” Wendy asked. “This better be good.”

“Wendy, there were two dozen garden gnomes in our driveway and they were blocking my way out of the house,” Ernie started. “Wendy, they started going chitter chitter chitter and then lept right at me. God damn it, that’s just like the damn Holy Empire gnomes.”

“Holy Empire gnomes, give me a fuckin’ break,” Wendy grumbled. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You kept talking about the Holy Empire gnomes at dinner last night, there’s no fuckin’ way a World Cup soccer team would field garden gnomes - much less a good one. You’re a complete nincompoop, Ernie. Get some sleep.”

“But they are garden gnomes,” Ernie responded. “We’re playing a team of garden gnomes. What do you want me to do?”

Wendy looked at her husband with a look that suggested that he should find a couch to sleep on.

“I don’t know, I’m not a soccer coach!” Wendy responded. “Get a nine iron or something and blast the bastards to kingdom come! Or get some high explosives and blow them up like you told Don Schneider you’d do! This isn’t my problem. GET SOME SLEEP - or at least go into the tub to get your mind off it.”

So Ernie did just that, drawing himself a nice, hot bath to try to get his mind off of the Holy Empire garden gnomes. But as he fell asleep in the tub, a few minutes later, he heard a high-pitched voice shouting at him.

“WEEEEEEE!!!!”

“OH SHIT!!!”

“GOD DAMN IT, ERNIE, SHUT THE HELL UP!”

With that in mind, it was hardly any surprise that Ernie showed up at the team meeting the next morning with heavy bags under his eyes and clutching onto an axe handle, a crazed look on his face. On the axe handle was a note written from Wendy.

“Thom: Ernie is not himself this morning. He spent all last night going on about Holy Empire garden gnomes. Please let him know he’s lost the plot. Thank you. - WS”

“Spent all last night dreaming about the gnomes, huh?” Thom asked. “I did too. You haven’t lost the plot, but you do look like you need some coffee. Let’s talk about what we’re going to do against the Holy Empire.”

“B̷͔̜̖̘̒̍̽͝ͅL̵̟͂̏̊͘O̶͙͔̖̹̻̅̋̔̉Ẃ̸̜̪̀ ̶̢͓͉̆̈́T̷͈͎̱͓̳̍H̷̹̑̓͐̂Ë̵̹͓̭͍̭́͌̕ ̴̡̲̘̓̆͝B̴͉̙̍͋͝͠A̶̘̔̊̚S̸̤̝͖̍̈T̸̨̠̲͚̭̊̏̀̍̓Ä̷̖̰́R̴̺̼͍̞͒̎̀Ḏ̶͇͖̟͙̈́̈́S̶͕̝̟͉̐̐̀ ̸͎̱͛͜U̴̺͌̌̓͊P̷͕̠̂,̴̢̜̯̋̑͝͝” Ernie yelped. “P̵̡͈̦̫̞͎̜̟̩̭͂̔͗͜ͅU̸̡̟̗̳͔̼̻͖̞̹̞̘͓̘͖͂̽̈́̈́̿̓̈́̃͝T̵̪̣̜͕̠̠̜̯͇͍̖̟̟͙͇̫̋̾̓̄̆̂̾̎́͊̄̕ ̴̢̦̪͖̺̬̭̬̤͔͇͕͖͉̳͂̃͐̒͂́͗́̚͘͝͝L̷̹͓̬̝̻̩͐͑͒͆̂̀͊̃͛͋͂̂A̷̧̪͈͇͍̜̣͙̜̤̳̣̙͉̞̻͍͐̚N̶̡̢͙̖͓͕̜̝̮͇̙̠͂͆̄̆̏̈́̉̂͋̒̚̕D̶̡̡͈̖̼̼̲̈̔͗̊͜ͅM̵̧̙͓̭̟̓͐̔̂͗Ȉ̸̢̢̩͙̻͎͓̦̦͔̍̏N̸̢̢̛̼͚̙͂́̓͊̏̍̃̔̾̽̓̃̚̕̕Ę̷̧̨̛̛̼̮̮̈́̂̃͋̎̂͋̕Ş̴̢̛̲̘͙͓̯͈̬͍̖̯̟̩͔̔͗͊̔́̓̒͑͆̎̅̊̚̕͝ ̵̨̢̪̫̰̦͇̪̭͉̻̭̳͙͓̳̏̐̾̔͆̀̀̓̈́̎̚͝ͅO̶̘̾̊̐̈͗̓͑͌̊̈̽̕N̶̢̝̮̟̞̫̞̲̰̘͇̖̯̦̆̄̓̓͜͝ͅ ̶̥̮̈̊̓̏͆̿̕͘T̵̡̨̠̮͕͕͓̭̪͙̜̜̦̏͂͝H̸̨̢̛̯̘̥̝̺̠̗̫̺̯̼̪̬̪̙̉̅̂̋̍̉̏̄̈́̀̀͗̕̕È̶͍̻̟͙̩̩̟͗̉͋̍̆͆̊̎͊̾͊̚͘ͅ ̷̛̬̣̺͔̳̦̤̟̺̗̉͗̀̒́͊̋̅͌̕̚͜ͅF̵̰̻̬̄̽̂̏̈́͠I̵̳̥̦̥̱̰̩̓̉̈̂̆͋̚͘͘ͅͅÉ̶̫̰̲͕̤̀̽̈́͗̈̽̑̈́̚̕̕͠͝L̴̢̨̦̤̠̮͍̮͖̭̣̻̳͓̪͐̇͗̎̎͋̑̈́̓̀̍̐͌̕D̷̟̪̭͕͇̠̂̉̊̆̾̃̋̎̓̿͊̚͜.̸̢͙̰̫̲̓͜ ̶̧̡̡̙̯̝͖͈̥͓̺͎͉̃̾̓͗͐̔͛̓͛́̕͘͜B̵̨̬̟̜̰̞͐̿͌̀̕͠L̵̛͓̳̯̘̪̫̹̹̮͖͉̋̈́̓̀̔̄̃͌́͝Ơ̴̝̠͚̬̫̟̞̙̝̘̲͓̩͌̾̈́̿̓̂͗̄́̔̓͂̇̔͘͝Ẅ̸̨͎̞̜̱̼͍͕̗́̋̉͊̍̅̓̒͗̕ͅ ̵͉̲̩͓̙̱̿̀͊̽͗͜T̸̺̝̥̘̭̼̪̳̓͋̎̓́̎̋̈́̉̓̚H̷̨̨̟̤̯͓̯͕̲̝̻̝͔̍̄͂͋̿̅̿͗̕͠Ę̶̛̟̞̺͓̬̼͇̘̺̪̦͕̲̪͎̋̂́́̿̄̿̈̇̚͝ ̸̧̼̫̻̦̘̦̤̙̓̐̕ͅB̴̙͇͉̠̞̩̳̻̥̪͖̭̮̫̹̟̻́̑̍̔̒̏̎̋̀͆́̒̚͠͝A̷̛̫̠̔̂̇͝S̵̢̙̭̞̩̜͎̭͎̜̩͙͍̙̼͓͊̀̃̈́͑̇̽̋͗̐̋T̵̛̗̤̪̝̑̃͌̉̅͐̂͐̒͑̽̐͝Ą̸̭̺͓̠̎͐̈́̈́͆͑̈́ͅR̵͈͙̪̞̟̮̯̪͕̮͍̺͖̙͍̈͗̃̕D̴̲̥͙̖̙̤̾͆̔́̈́̑͠S̷̛̝̺̘͙͎͖̖̺͙͔̻̲̝̊̓̃̆̀͆͗̒̑ͅ ̵̛̘̱̖͐̑̅̄͑̂͛͝͠U̵̻̦̲̮̭̺͛̔P̷̻͓̼͔͎̲̺̰͔̣͖̤̘͓̲̠̓͆̃́̀̾͗͠.̷̧̮͈̣̖͍͈̣͎̞̭̩̱̘̲͑͌̄̎̄͂͒̿̂ ̷̯̫̼̣͎͔̣̟̥̻͔̱̭͖̱̣̟̿͛́͑͆̈́̿̈́̅̈̏͝͠͝͠P̵̧̡̢̦͖͈̮͚̻̣͔̫̠͎͔̗̓̆̇̾̀͗̾̓̈́͘͜Ù̸̡̢̯̞̞͈̰͕̯̰̞̝͓̬̫̿̀͗̑͛͑̎͗̔̕͝͝ͅT̴̨̡̨̡̨̟̠̫̹̼̮̫̘̦͑͜͝ ̸̨̢̘̰̫̭͉͉̗͈͙̻͈̂͒́̽̍͠ͅL̴̻͇̭͍͖̫͈̺̳̳̬̞͉̻͙̙̉Ą̶̢͕͈̻͎͔̩̩͊̂͒̍̀̈́̿̾̄N̷͕̠̍̒̄̔̾̋͛̉͊͆̊͂͂̔̑̄͘D̵̨̨̧͓̫̙̺̹̬͚͙̦͈̜̦̙̈́̒̏͝Ṁ̴̢͕̹̝̰̾̾̏͂̀̊̈́̿̈́̑͑͘Ī̸͙͕̻͍̫̈́̓̐̓̀̎͂̆̈̒͜͝͠N̶̛͇̠̣͚̟͕̻̲̯͙̩͛͆́͂͌͒̕̚Ȩ̸̱̘̳̬̟̹̜̞̰̩͔̺̥̒̐͒̎̎̋ͅͅS̷̯͙̺͖̹̼̪̪̜̈́̒̏͘͜ ̷͕̀̃͐̀́̑̈́̈́̽̐͝͝Ȍ̷̯̯̝̪͖̖͙̭̯̟̳̰̲̯͊̓͂̾͋͗̀̏͐̓͛̕͝͝N̶̡̰͙͍̳͖̆̿͑͑́̀̈́͆̐̎̓̑̏ ̷̙͓̹̩̲̯̮̲̤̝̤̺̯̣͓̾͠T̸̻̝̦̖̮̽̄̓͝H̵̡̡͙̪̹͎͔̜͕͍̳͙̪̘̱̔͛̐͑͜Ẻ̵͎͍̤̙̲͈̹̝͖̼̿̃̀̽̈́͗̓̽͋̍̽̈͗̕͠͝ ̸̧̙̜͇̤͚͉͇̖͍̠͙̰̐̍̀̊͊F̶̦̞̪̻͎̞̥̞̗̠̽͗̇̅̓̏͂̽͂̈́̓̓̃̅́̐Ḭ̷̳̤̟̮͔̙̙͇͕͈̖͑̋͆̂̃͋̾̽̐̈́͌̅͆͝ͅĘ̴̮̜̟̯̖̄̑̎̌͛̔͂̒̈́́̿̚̕L̶̻̦̗͛̽̌̈̔̓̄͘̚͝D̴̤̫̂̔̇.̴̛͎̱̠̜͉̯̹͉̳͑͛͑́͊͊̒̿͒͠͠ͅ”

“OK, so maybe you HAVE lost the plot,” Thom responded. “I don’t think the WCC thinks too highly of rigging the field with explosives and I don’t think we’re allowed to blow any bastards up. I think it’s a straight red card to blow your opponent up. Go take a nap and we’ll talk about this later. Explosives, huh?”

Rod Cutt and Stan McLamb could barely hold in their laughter as they carried a stark raving crazy Ernie Stevenson into a back room.

“P̷̡̡̨͈͖̫͙͍̠̣̥͍̬̫̩̈́͛́͆̆͂̆̚Ų̵̡̲͓̥̮͕̟̝̺̏̌̆͝T̸̨̧͍͇̟̳̜͉̰̩͌̓̋̔̓͊͌͛̈́͜͝͝ ̸̙̳̬̹̗̐̀̏̔́̑͐̎̚ͅĻ̶̺̜̮̭̘̠̫̦̣͚͗͌̎̀A̴̛̛̱̥̦̘̭̟̱͎͇̤̱̠͔̺͛̆̏͊͑͆́̉͗͆͘̕͠Ǹ̴̲͕͈̻̟̜̙̝̦̝̳̝̬̫̤͑͜D̶̢̛͈͇̈́̊͐̓̈́̈̂̑̃͂͘M̶̛̙͔̠̳̳̺̦̦̯̣͓̤̂́̐̿̏́͊̈́͐̈́I̸̢̠͍͕̮̻̰͇̰̟͈̥͍͇͗͒̐̒̈̈͌͊̑͘͘͜͝ͅṄ̵͉̥̳̤͍͚͓̙̓́́̎Ȅ̴̖͖̣̟̦͎̥̳̿̾͗̑̊̊̋̊̕̕̕͜͝Ṣ̴̢̢̢͖̖͓̦̠͎̳͓̼͕͔̼͊̂͑̄̏̒͆͗̕͘͜͝ ̷̧̢̡̧̩̮̰̘̩̣̣̻͎̱̰̲̭͆̕Ǫ̸̡͚̰͉͉̭̞̰̣̭͛͗͂̿̽N̵̨͚̞̻͚̅͗͛͛̐͐̈̈́̀̓͗̊͘̚͝ͅ ̸̲̮͔̝̰͙̝̙̗̦̦̮͛̈́͊̓̽̽̇͌͆̃͐̊̎͘͘͜ͅT̴̢̨̛͖̩̼̺̖̟̯͍͇̪̠̭͉̈̔̈́͑̂̀́͐̓͒̄̋͒͜͜͠H̷̻̲̠̠͐́̅͗͑̂̈́̋́̀̂͘͝E̴̢̹̜̝̣͎͍̻̣̣͎̩̩̩̐̇̂̿̎͘̕͜͝ ̵̧̱̹̠̺̦̉̀͛́̆̂͐̇́͐͒̚͜͠͝F̷̢̛̠̖̤̩̺̠̪̮̮͔̦̀̆̄̎͋͆͘͜Ï̶̡̢̥̖̻̩̉̓̄̊̀͊̏͐̀͐͐̒͜͝Ȩ̷̺̤̫̹̞̺̥͈̮͚̔͒̓̑̔̿͆̔̒̀͘͜L̵̡͍̠̀̎̏̋̾̈̄̓̐̀̌̇̇D̷̛̳͉̮̥͓̤̀̇̈́͌͒̄̇͗̿̚̕͘,̸̢̼͙͓͌ ̶̨͉̏͘͘B̷̡̢̟̱̣̟͉̙̘̲̞̘̳̝̜͋̾̿̂͒͆̉́̋̔͌͆̆͗̚Ľ̸̥̦̹̱̰̳̘̍̿̇̊ͅǪ̴̻̗͈̰̣̪̳͚͖̮̮̜̎́̌́̇̀̊̓͐̀͂̌͘͝W̶̨͚̫͍͇͇̻̘͕͔̻̝̿̍ ̸̜̯͇̮̳͇̩̜̳̿͗̃͆́͂̿̕T̴̨̛̟̦͂͆̆̽̒̿̅̓͌͌̒̀̌̕͠͠H̵̺͇̼̮́̀Ẹ̶̢͇̻̞̙͙͚̬̦͙̥̝͋̄̓̈̓̚̕͜͜͜ ̴̢̦̝̱̺̅̀̀̌̐͆̃͘̚͘͝B̶̢͖̻̪͖̳̖͍̬̬̫̰̜̱͛̒̍́̾̋̈́̅͂̿̄̇͜͝͠ͅA̸̧͎͚͙̗͍̝͈͖̪̦͐͜ͅS̷̠͚̈́̊͂̍Ţ̷̜̮̯̗͍͍̤͖̥̮̣̜͑̌͜͠A̷͚̥̮̻̫̼̓̏͒̄͘̕Ṟ̷̢̢̞̆̃̎̒͊̃̉͑Ḑ̶͖͎͎̦͚͔̱̗̭̾̇̀̂̿̾̃͐͜S̸͙̽̅̈́̅̃́͆́̏̈́̈́̌͂̒̔̅̌ ̴̰̬̯̲͉̝̰͇͓̞͓͙̖͗̈́̈́̈̂̂̀̄͜Ư̶̛̛̩̼̣̮͉̜͙̗̮̽͂̄̈́͋̔̾̀͝P̶̨̙̃͑̍̊̄̐͐̚̚͝͠͝,̶̧̡̢̖̙̙̹̣͛͌́̆̆́͌̿͋̄͒͒̋͜͠͠ ̸̧̜̓̇̏̀̽̑̉́̀̈͋̉̂͠P̴̰̗̎̂̋͒̾̀̔̄͝͝U̵̢̞͚͖̮͇͈̞͍̫͕͒̇͐́͗̍͗̈̔͊̽̈͘͜ͅT̶̛͓̭͔̪̭̫͖͋̔̃́̃̓̆̍̍͒̌̇̂ ̵̡̡̡͙͓̟̗̳͈̔̓͊̐̽͊͒̌̐͆̍̌͘͜ͅĻ̵̛̘̗̰̠̽̂̅̀̅͛̃̚̚͝͝͠A̸̤͉̰̥̰̟̙͎̝̝͉̟̗̳͖̽̽͋̋͛̅̐̔̍̆̔̂̀̌̕͠͝Ṋ̵̢͚̭̞͈̲̱̼̜̲̖͐͜D̷̢̧̨͔̖̻͈̟̟͇̟͚̫̘̋̅͂̐͒̽̉͜͝͝͝M̵̝̯̖̻̖̩̙͕̺̞̱̍I̶̥͚͍̗̻̖̟̒̑̆̅͗̐͋͗N̶̛̩̘̾̒̓͂̿̈́̌͂͑͊͋͒̂̿̄̀Ẻ̷̗̮̭̫̰̲̫̺͔̼͎̿̽̒͛͠ͅS̶̥̯̫̲̹͊̈́̾̍̌̄̈́̒͂̋̉͘ ̷͇̱͕͎̙͓̇̂̀͜Ọ̸̫̥̟̹̈́Ņ̶̨̩̝̯̻̠͕͕̠̰̇̇̂̃̏͘͝͝ ̵̣͇̳͇̙̫̖̯̞͒̑͋̈́̆T̸̡̢̢̜̯̻̼̰̗̦̉̆̏̈̿̉͜͝͝H̷̫̱̹͈͊̒͋̾̆̀̀́̎́̊̏Ḙ̷̡̡̧̜̮̓͗͒ ̴̲̬͗̈̈̌̏̓̑̈́̑̓̍̄̑̌̚͝F̵̨̲͎̦̯͓̰́̿͗́̓̈́͋͐̉͝I̸̲̮̦̬͕͙͒̇E̴̡̳̥̬͙̦̩̤͍̼̜͕̼̔̀̅̿̈͌͐̎͂́͊̒̓̏̕͝ͅĻ̶͕͈̣̦͙̩̊̌͛̿͐̀̈́̔̚Ḓ̵͋̈̍̈́́̀́͘͝͠,̸̘͎̂̓͐̈́̀͊̂̎̌͝ ̶̮̦̤͚͖̲͈͊B̵̜͕͖̮̹̩͖̗͌͗̈́̎͐̕͜͠L̷̛͖̗̹͑̀̏̀͒̄͛̇̇̈̀͘̕͜͝͝Ǒ̵͈̇́̽͐̆͂W̴̧̡͓͖̠͔̹̹͇̼̟͗̆͐̎͒͝ ̷̛̣͈͎̰͔̻̩̰͇̅̒͋̆̈́̏̃͛̏͛̈́͝ͅͅT̵̢̛̞̞̝͍͈̬͓͙̺̥͖̎̀̈̐ͅḨ̶̜͉̭̠̙̩͉͙̺͍͖̈́́̎͑̿́̑̆͊̍́͗́̌ͅE̴̛̝̻̦͒̏̑̽̈́̅͛̚ ̶̢̛̹̤̯̣͚͈̯͙̳̲̩̎͆̔̑̎̽̍̏́͂̽ͅB̶̢͍̫̘͎̝̖̑̏̀̾̔̍̌̿̉̂̌̋̈́̓͘͜͠ͅA̸̗͐̍͂͋͑̚̚͠S̵͔̻̹̥̞̝̜̮̱͎̟̼̼̜͈̜͉͆͛̓͐T̷̨̗̣̤̦͕̗̦̹̣̝̹̺̒͑̈́̀͋̋͂͂͆̓͆̍͘ͅͅĄ̵̧̡̖̲̩̭͔͔̥̞͕̭͗̒̇̄̈́̄͌́̔̆̚͘͘͠͝͠͝R̴̢̮̳͓̦͙̜͈͈̤͊̋̄̓̍̽ͅḒ̸̨͈̙̣͇̱̼͓̖̫̺̻͇̬̄͌S̵̳͔̩̫͔͓͉̳̪͖̎̇ ̴̨̠͔̼̲̮͓͙̦̬͌͋̇͆͒̐͛̈́̇̅̀̆̕͝͝Ữ̵̢̨̜̗͕̯̣̽͌͛̇́̐́̎̂̀̕͠͝Ṗ̴̡͙̥̠͖̣̘͉̜̪̥̻͔͚̹́̏̉̊̆̇̾̿͘̕̕̕̚͜͠.̸̟̬͔̳̺̺͖̝̠̂̄̔͂̔͆͌̍̿̕͝.̸͖̤͙̼͎͍͛̌͑̈͠.̷̧̨͕͙̮͖̖͎̰̫̗̝̦͋͌͒̕͝ͅ” Stevenson said to himself as Rod and Stan walked their assistant coach into the room.

When they came back to the meeting, both exploded in laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

“Just for what it’s worth I wanted to get some golf clubs but I couldn’t find any,” Rod said. “I wanted to hit a home run on their asses.”

“That’s not happening either,” Thom responded. “Holy shit y’all.”

[Chromatika]

The following post was posted on anomaliesfootball.cr, the #1 fan board for Chromatik football, with more than a million likes.

Opinion: It's Time for Wholesale Changes to the Chromatik Starting XI
By: AnomaliesLover97

Chromatika is facing a crisis when it comes to the world of football, and it's time to make some wholesale changes. No, I'm not talking about our new Manager, who is only in her first cycle with this team. I'm talking about the Starting XI. I'm talking about the four Fillars, the five hyphenated names, and the other two that have managed the following this cycle: Getting swept by Baggieland, losing to Qusmo, and losing to Farfadillis by seven goals followed by another loss to The Kytler Peninsulae that all but guarantees that the Anomalies will crash out in the Group Stage of the World Cup Proper for the third World Cup in a row. Oh, did I mention that in this edition, only sixteen of forty-eight won't make it to the Playoffs, and we are slated to be among that sixteen as a second seed in the group?

Chromatika has long had an issue with lifting our players to be worth more than they are. I'm not saying that they haven't had a huge part in our history. Everyone knows that Luuk Aart was the one that got the Rainbow Revolution started. Nobody disparages the role that Keira Andisori played during that fateful revolution while being the first superstar of the Anomalies. Every time that the nation needed them, they've always been that focal point to rally behind - or at least, they used to be. Something has changed in the last few years, every since that miraculous run where we finished in second place, and I think that it's about time we have everyone face the music so that we can turn the page to usher in the new age.

The Fillars have been a mainstay within this roster for a long time now. All of them have over a hundred caps, and they have proven their worth in gold. Playing at Goalkeeper, both Wings, and Attacking Midfield, they control the middle of the pitch while being the mastermind behind goal. Perhaps, it'd have been better if they'd stayed with Grayson playing defense and Edith playing up front, but with the way that Chromatika has switched since Repin, it's ended up in the way that it has. Gone are the days of having one Fillar on every level of the pitch, and perhaps it can be reasonably surmised that it was when we lost that that we started to lose what made this combination special.

Yes, I'm not denying that it was that combination that yielded that huge run to second place; however, that seems to have been a mirage of a cycle now - the team has only ever gotten worse since then, and even changing Managers hasn't resulted in the result that we've wanted. Instead, Chromatika seems destined to complete the worst ever Group Stage in the World Cup Proper, having a -8 goal differential after two matches.

So, what is the solution? It's simple, but it wlll be painful, and a lot of egos will be bruised.

First, Hailee Sourtois should take over at goal. She's beginning to hit the prime of her career, and it makes sense for the Anomalies to turn toward a budding young star instead of hanging onto a old relic that's trying to resurrect the prime of his days. Besides, Sourtois's game is more adaptable to the strengths of the back three, as she'll let them play a bit more fluidly instead of having to work with Juxon like the way that he dictates. Cylie Nodis will especially be allowed to be a lot more creative with having the liberty to work with Kaia to decide who will be the mid-level anchor and who will be with Eileen and Ami in the back.

I wouldn't touch the back three, and I wouldn't touch Kaia. On the right wing, I'm of the belief that Ibayashi Haitou deserves a shot. Emilie Kruetzberg is best used in international play as an impact sub, and Grayson has become way too rigid in his play in recent seasons - he's either too forward or too far back with not much in between. Haitou has done his time on this roster, playing the odd game here and there, shining in moments, and making it clear that he is an option while having great seasons in Quebec and Shingoryeo. If we're going to keep Edith on the left wing - she is the best Fillar, after all - then she needs a new wing-partner.

Keeping Evin Françine-Miklavivec makes sense, but I'd move her to be back, and move Baillaire up front, with a finger on Maddie Prenn to replace her as needed. The time of VMK being on this roster when we hit the twenty-six person roster stage is long past and gone. I understand he's a legend, and that he was the one to usher in the new age of midfielders meaning something, but that age is over, and youth needs to take over.

Up front, Lavrentiy Xuen-Zhukov needs to be held to a higher standard. If you're supposed to be one of the best strikers in the world, you need to be able to score in the World Cup Proper. Elaine Howard-Dawes gets a pass since she's new to being a starting striker at this level, but Lavrentiy doesn't get that luxury. Unfortunately, the striking talent behind them isn't that great - the best prospects are just starting off, though Kaytlyn Jean-Baptiste and Harriet Baïe-Verte are waiting on the wings, progressing through the system.

Something needs to change to break this run of not even being able to crack the playoffs - and an expanded playoffs at that. If changing Managers doesn't work, we either need to look at changing tactics or changing players. It would be unwise to change tactics when the Chromatik Football Federation has basically implemented the tactic at every level; this leads to having to make difficult choices about the players - even with players that many declare to be legends, and therefore, off-limits.

If they are true legends, they will understand when it's time for them to step aside so that Chromatika will take the next step that they need to reach the next level.

True Anomalies will understand.

[Tikariot]

The morgue’s basement was always cold, but tonight, it felt like an icebox. Hastings stood in the dim light, staring at the lifeless body stretched out on the stainless steel table. The same as the others—pale, skeletal, emptied of blood like a withered husk. The only difference now was the sterile environment around him: fluorescent lights buzzing overhead, cabinets filled with medical instruments, and the lingering scent of disinfectant cutting through the usual odour of decay.

Dr. Irene Whitlock, the assistant coroner, was at the far side of the table, gloved hands busy examining the latest victim. She was a seasoned veteran but even her experience couldn’t make sense of the horrors left behind by Cain.

"He’s got the same ligature marks around his wrists and ankles," she said, her voice clipped and matter-of-fact. "Consistent with the others. He was bound tightly before being exsanguinated. No signs of struggle, which means he was likely drugged."

"Drugged and drained," Hastings nodded, devoid of emotions.

Whitlock nodded. "He’s been cleaned thoroughly, like the others. Not a trace of blood left on his skin. Whoever this is, they know what they’re doing. Every incision is precise, the draining methodical."

She stepped back from the table and removed her gloves with a snap, tossing them into a nearby bin. Hastings watched as she scribbled notes on her clipboard, her face unreadable. She’d seen it all before, just like him. They were both veterans of death, but Cain was something else entirely—a killer who turned murder into an art form.

"Anything different this time?" Hastings asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Nothing. Same pattern. Same brutality. The cause of death is blood loss, but the victim was probably not in the best condition before Cain got to work. It’s like he’s keeping them somewhere, weakening them before finishing the job."

Hastings took the information in without showing a reaction. The thought of someone being held captive, tortured slowly over time—it was worse than a quick death. But somehow, it all seemed to bounce off him.

Whitlock glanced at him, her eyes weary but sharp. "There’s something else, though. Something new."

Hastings raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

She pulled back the sheet covering the victim’s head, revealing a patch of dried blood on his scalp, faint but noticeable. "He has this. It looks like he was hit or dropped on the head not too long before he was killed. I’m sending some samples for analysis, but…" She trailed off, shrugging.

Hastings leaned closer, looking at the scabbed blood. It was subtle, hidden in the matted hair of the victim, but it was there.

"Let me know if you find anything," he said quietly, pulling himself upright again. He sighed and turned to leave the morgue.

* * * * *

In the early morning, Hastings found himself seated in the cramped, stale briefing room of the Carathyr Police Service headquarters. Hordichuk stood behind the desk, looking at the assembled officers, the look in his eyes a mix of frustration and anger. Behind him was a giant corkboard with the crime scene photos of each victim.

His arms were crossed, eyes narrowed. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever—a testament to the strain this case had put on all of them.

"Alright, let’s get this over with," Hordichuk grunted, waving a hand towards the board. "Another victim, same M.O., same goddamn scene. I don’t need to tell you how bad this looks. The press is getting bolder and bolder, calling us incompetent, clueless, idiots and whatever else under the sun, and the mayor’s office is demanding answers. We need to catch this bastard before the city turns on us."

He gestured toward the latest crime scene photo, the one they had joined the ranks hours ago. The body, laid out in that sickening Vitruvian Man pose, stared back at them from the photograph—eyes sunken, lips pulled back in a deathly grimace.

"Whitlock found something new," Hastings said, speaking up from the back of the room. He felt the eyes of the entire team turn toward him, waiting for something, anything, that might break this case open. "A scabbed patch of blood on the scalp. No idea if it means anything, but it's the one thing that's different from the previous victims. She sent it off to the lab, just in case."

Hordichuk frowned, stepping closer to the board. "Alright, I had hoped it was something more concrete, but oh well."

He grunted, clearly dissatisfied, but not surprised. They were grasping at straws, and everyone knew it.

"Alright," he said, turning back to the room. "Let's hope this means something. Anything. In the meantime, we keep combing through everything we’ve got. Old cases, new cases, anyone remotely connected to the victims. We find something, or this city’s gonna lose whatever faith it has left in us."

The room fell into a heavy silence. They had been here before, too many times to count, and yet each new victim only made the distance between them and Cain feel wider.

* * * * *

The press conference was scheduled for noon, but by the time Hastings arrived, a thick crowd of journalists had already gathered outside the police headquarters. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still a blanket of grey, casting a gloomy pall over everything.

Hordichuk was already at the podium, flanked by two other officers. His face was grim, his mouth set in a hard line. Hastings lingered at the back of the crowd, listening as the chief inspector delivered the same sterile lines they had heard after every murder.

"We are working tirelessly on this investigation," Hordichuk said, his voice flat and rehearsed. "We have a dedicated team of officers pursuing every lead, and we remain confident that we will bring the individual responsible for these heinous crimes to justice."

Hastings could feel the skepticism radiating from the crowd of reporters. They were done with platitudes. The city was terrified, and they wanted answers, not reassurances.

"Chief Inspector," one of the reporters called out, her voice sharp. "This is the fifth body in as many weeks, and there doesn’t seem to be any progress. What do you say to the people of Carathyr who feel like the police are failing them?"

Hordichuk clenched his jaw. "I understand their fear. We all do. But I can assure you, we are doing everything in our power to stop this killer. These things take time. Cain is meticulous, but we will catch him."

Another reporter chimed in. "Can you confirm any new developments in the case? Anything that might indicate Cain’s next move?"

A brief flicker of anger flitted over Hordichuk's face. Hastings knew there was nothing to say, nothing concrete.

"Look, we're as frustrated as you are, but Tikariot hasn't seen a killer like Cain before. Not in Carathyr, not in Port Rhovanyon, not in Alcassar." It was obvious that Hordichuk was close to his breaking point. "We have to assume Cain is watching the news, reading the newspapers, so if we give away any details on our investigation, he'll see it and then can work around it. Destroy evidence, change his MO, lay low, move into a different area. I completely understand that you want information, but do you really want to risk giving things away to Cain so he can get even more efficient and continue killing? I don't think so."

With this, Hordichuk stood up and left, leaving the reporters behind, murmuring, writing, shaking their heads. Hastings watched from the back, understanding the frustration of his boss. He turned away, the din of voices fading behind him. He knew what was coming. More fear, more bodies, and more nights like the last.

[Kelssek]

“Joining us in the studio is former Kelssek international Cassie Mrythe. I don’t know about you Cassie, but that was a classic great for the neutrals kind of match, wasn’t it?”

“What we saw today was really Kelssek’s players basically saying to themselves: Reject the structure, embrace the chaos. I don’t think the coaching staff were planning that, you don’t really plan for a match that goes the way it did. At least, that’s not what we’ve seen from what Calen Reamsey says he’s trying to do tactics-wise. But on the other hand, it was also a very resilient showing from this team.”

“Was that something you were pleased to see? Because you know the chatter about how this is team with a fragile mentality and they had some difficult matches that shouldn’t have been as hard a slog as they made it?... A pleasant surprise in that sense?”

“You never want to give up three goals in a football match. That’s usually not something that ends well for a team. And as a goalkeeper I felt kinda of bad for Jenas Maraipu because it looks bad on the scoresheet, when really, credit to Edsmontik, those were some well-worked chances. They did not give up an inch out there, and they looked determined from the kick-off not to back down and they gave us a really hard time in that match.”

“You do note of course, they were coming off a win against Zwangzug. So a bit of confidence is going to come from that?”

“You have to admire that, as a lower-ranked team in the World Cup, the mindset has always got to be that you’re going to take it to your opponent and try to win it, get an upset, make some history. You have to go for it, and they did, and I honestly think Edsmontik deserved to be 3-2 up at half time.”

“Before I let you go, what a celebration from the captain after Ingrid Lambert puts in the equalizer. You have to say that was a real moment for her.”

“I know Ingrid from when we were teammates for the national team and I know how good that must have felt. For defensive players, to score a goal is a nice bonus but in the context of all this stuff going on, that was brilliant and I’m so happy for her.”

“Cassie Mrythe, thanks for coming into the studio. Back from the break with some of your comments in a few minutes. What did you think of that match? Don’t forget to send in your reaction videos to our InstantGramm, @NSNLive and we might play it on the air.”

EDSMONTIK 3 – Bervaign (18’, 33’), Stuero (41’)
KELSSEK 4 – an Deòir (14’), Obident (22’), Lambert (66’), Heer (76’)
Maraipu, Loew (Buené 70’), Lambert, Thomsen, Usher, Pogbacar (Licea 70’), Pépin (Mao 82’), de Landa, Heer (Cutter 82’), Obident, an Deòir (Goh-Lemaire 78’)
Player of the Match: Julius Heer
Venue: Stein-los Stadium, Stein-los (attendance 58,836)

---

Tonight’s TV highlights
8:30pm, KBC1 HOUSE OF THE SNAPDRAGON MA
Members of a rich, powerful, and dysfunctional family struggle for control of a microchip empire.
108: Just for Laughs – Season finale. The family tries to enjoy a corporate retreat. Leon’s recovery suffers a setback. Greg fears the worst after he crashes Rhaenyra’s yacht. As fire engulfs the data centre, Macaulay faces a life-or-death decision.

10pm, TV12 THE MAGAZINE
Current affairs. Will allegations that he rubbed his genitals on supermarket avocadoes every day for the last three years harm Bill “Bonzaboy” Hillward’s image among voters? A Network Twelve exclusive investigation. Content warning: graphic images.

[The Kytler Peninsulae]

Every sporting nation of significance has its own pieces of commentary that have gone into that nation's folklore on some level.

The Kytler Peninsulae has had a few contenders just from the post-isolation years. "Ragnar Snorisson! Another historic moment!" "This is her race! This is her gold!" "...as there's a drive into deep left field by Asbjørnsson..." - hey, nobody said they had to go into folklore for the right reasons.

And as the final whistle went at the end of a second straight Kytlerian victory at their debut World Cup proper - and this one was a no-doubt upset even accounting for the mentally weakened state of the opposition - one of those lines managed to reappear once again.

"The Kytler Peninsulae have actually... beaten... Chromatika!"

Granted, it was a properly seismic shock the first time those words were uttered - the first post-hiatus game for the Kytlerian gridiron team against the top-ranked returning team coming into that World Bowl cycle was not meant to be anything other than a murdertwatting the other way, and Mike Roberts in the KBT booth knew it - and a Pot 3 team beating a Pot 2 team at the World Cup is positively predictable in comparison. But this is soccer we're talking about, where giants tend to stand stronger for longer and the path to glory becomes practically vertical somewhere around the point the Kytlerians are at right now. Approximately 10.93 million words have been written by Margaret Institute scholars about how and why this sport works like that in a way many others extremely don't (Exhibit A: two of the Margaret Institute's own joining forces with two members of the maths department up the hill on the same University of Zube campus to win back-to-back Elephant Chess Cups) and while upward mobility in the sport seems to have grown in recent years, it's still not at the point where a team ranked 42nd can beat a team ranked 15th on neutral territory without at least raising the odd eyebrow. This would have been a Pot 2 v Pot 4 matchup at any prior World Cup - and the Anomalies were on the cusp of Pot 1 status in this one - and an upset in one of those hits a bit different.

It wasn't even a smash-and-grab raid by any means. Instead, a side still visibly reeling from losing by a touchdown and PAT in this very ground in their previous fixture were indebted to multiple pieces of bad luck to keep the Kytlerians scoreless for over an hour. Danny Markusson hit the bar, Vincent had a shot cleared off the line by Cylie Nodis, and Emilie Kruetzberg's foul on Markusson on the edge of the box was deemed to be outside the box rather than inside. As for chances at the other end, they were conspicuous by their absence as Andrew Patterson's well-drilled Kytlerians kept to their 4-2-3-1 shape and largely denied the Anomalies the oxygen of possession. When the dam finally burst on 63 minutes - Teun Donk heading a Vincent corner past Juxon Fillar - the only surprise is that it was the defender who scored it and that it wasn't followed by another full-on implosion. This, instead, was the pulse of an Anomalies golden generation simply dying out. This is how an era ends; not with a bang, but with a whimper.

But reputations die hard. Which is why, as the last of the four minutes of added time passed (without incident this time), another KBT commentator - Olivia Barnett, the first female lead commentator ever for a Kytlerian broadcaster - namechecked her colleague and then reused one of his most famous lines.

"And to quote a line from my great colleague Mike Roberts... The Kytler Peninsulae have actually... beaten... Chromatika!"

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2024
Do or die for Bees against Delte
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

The Commonwealth of Baker Park face another group stage elimination after losing 3-1 to Siovanija & Teusland on matchday 2 to fall into a tie for 3rd place with the the final opponent Delte.

The Bees were unable to generate a comeback against the Goldhorns as they did in the first match, and their on-again, off-again offensive problems were the factor in their defeat as it was in qualifying; for all of their possession BP were unable to find the final pass that would allow a scoring chance, evidenced by only 4 shots on goal including Fatima Khan's 51st minute goal that halved the 2-0 S&T halftime margin.

Group I could be one of the four groups that will not send a third placed side to the knockout stage if there are not clear winners on the final day, as both the Bees and The Reps each need all three points and Juvencus needs all three to remain as the runner up with the Goldhorns already assured of advancement. The possibility that three teams end up on 2 points would then rest on overall goal difference, which is currently 0 for Juvencus, -2 for Baker Park, and -3 for Delte.

BP have struggled in the final World Cup Group Stage fixture over the last six cycles they've made the Finals, losing four times along with a win and a draw, neither of which factored into advancing or not.

The World Cup 95 champs are at a crossroads, as elimination at this point will probably trigger wholesale changes in the structure of the NT setup; domestic media have been rife with reports that the direction of the sport generally and the national team specifically in Delte has been under heavy criticism despite the fact they are currently ranked 3rd in the multiverse.

This World Cup has been the dawn of a new era for the NSWC as a competition and will be the sunset of the current KPB rankings in their current form as the conclusion of World Cup 97 will be the catalyst for the new World Rankings formula, which shares similarities with the current system but will see an entirely new weighting of official WCC events along with the inclusion of prorated regional tournament results. If Baker Park can regain their form in Arrosia, the path towards a return to the top 25--where BP were ranked for 15 consecutive cycles--may come sooner rather than later. But it would be huge boost if they can reach the knockouts for the 11th time.

Rossi; Frost, Kucera, Jones; C. Logan, Ryan, Vetter, Altman (C); McDavid; Engels, Coleman
subs--Cotterill, Milner, O'Connor, Schulman, Park, Garfield, Kirby, A. Boyle, D'Alessandro, Riley, Hardison, Khan.

[West Barack and East Obama]

BBC OFFICIAL REPORT: The Worst Football You've Ever Seen is Coming

By Football Correspondent Gary Obamaniker

Torgos, Pasarga - A warning to every Obaman who plans to put their feet up, watch the game against Pasarga and soak in the good vibes of patriotism: don't bother. Well, still do the last one, but maybe salute the flag or read Becoming by Michell Obama instead, because at the end of this matchup you're going to rolling on the floor, writhing in pain and ripping your hair out at our performance.

West Barack and East Obama's final game of the group stage will be their most crucial one of this cycle, and perhaps their entire footballing journey so far. A game to exorcise past demons. A game to advance to the upper echelons of the sport. A showdown against a team in their home stadium which is so loud and fierce that other buildings literally quiver. Following a horrific 4-1 drubbing at the hands of Sargossa, West Barack and East Obama need to avoid defeat against Pasarga to advance, with everyone in Group A level on points. Every goal is going to count. Every distracted moment, every mistimed tackle, every sloppy pass - if they cost us, they could haunt us forever.

The last time West Barack and East Obama were this close to making it to the World Cup knockout stages was the final group stage game against The Holy Empire in Chromatika. A terrific debut so far with surprise results against Mytanija and the hosts, the Obamen only needed a draw to advance: and even if they lost, a draw between the other two teams would have still been enough. Realising that The Holy Empire were fielding a team of clones, one would expect that a matchup against your own selves would be a draw, right? Unfortunately, the study Obaman defence collapsed and let in four goals, just enough to send us out.

We find ourselves in a similar situation now - a draw wouldn't guarantee us advancement, but the likelihood of a team being the bottom 4 out of 12 third placed teams with 4 points and -1 goal difference was unlikely. And even if we did fall to Pasarga, a loss by the same magnitude or greater by Milchama would prevent us from finishing bottom. And just like before, our defence is showing cracks. We've conceded 5 in two games - the same amount we conceded in 16 games in the qualification rounds. Dwayne Obama looked like he was back to his pilot days, as he was crashing and burning. Noss Obamadamus looked like he had two left shoes on the whole game, Barack Denovitz's passes should land him back in jail, and Bark Obamallama spitted away our chances of qualifying with his poor timing. We're washed, but luckily head coach Buck Obamafinakis has a plan to not repeat past mistakes.

"Everyone behind the ball. Always." asserted Obamafinakis in a press conference yesterday, when asked about how he was planning to prevent a depressing defeat to Pasarga tomorrow. "We've been intensively training for this scenario and we're not going to allow any nonsense. Our midfielders have been accurately placing their backpasses and sidepasses, I've made the players mark each other so tightly our defenders have followed some back to their hotel rooms, and we've compiled a guide on how to waste time at every opportunity. The Pasargans may try to bully us with their chanting and shouting, but we're making everyone have Airpods in blasting the national anthem at all times to remind them to focus: players in green bad, players in red good. I've been hard at work practicing my referee manipulation skills as well so they can't try and give us unfavourable decisions. It's do or die, and right now, I'm doing."

The team will be hoping to keep their first clean sheet this cycle, after 10+ of them in the qualification rounds. The team has also been taking other precautions to remain focused on preventing defeats at all costs: no outsiders, no eating dodgy lasagna or Lozhoan takeaway, and absolutely no Fortnite after 9pm. There have been strict curfews and romance novels have been banned to prevent anyone from even thinking about companionship. All Obamen will be expected to have a killer mindset against Pasarga, because it's kill or be killed. Good luck everybody, hug your loved ones, and remember to tape all your Ballad of Baracks and Bidens episodes so that you have something to do instead of watching the game.

[TJUN-ia]

The Random Rambles of a Jaguar - WC97 Qualifying Edition
with Killian Looker

Welcome back to this Random Ramble. And welcome back to the World Cup. MD1 went as expected for the Jagaurs of TJUN-ia, a 3-0 defeat at the hands of the WCC #1 Valanora, and after that piece of business, the time had arrived for some business of their own. Everyone knew that Top 3 could be enough to get us into the expanded knockout round and with that in mind, our other 2 games in this group were given larger importance than the Valanora game. We knew that we needed to preform well in these two games to progress into the next round and with that in mind, we knew what we had to do. Go for broke.

The Match
The Stilinkeep Stadium would host a pivotal game of this campaign against #27 Eshialand and considering we had 0 points and the Owls had 1, this game was being treated very seriously by both sides. You could get the sense that Kenneth Morgan really wanted those points an we did so too...so I guess it was no surprise that the game that ended being played in Stilinkeep ended being a certified banger. Jacob Harran took the lead after only 10 minutes but Fernandino would respond just 7 minutes later. That would bring the first half to an end in terms of goals, but the 2nd half would be even more chaotic at that. Twice in this period, Regina McDuff got the ball in the net, only for a response to occur quickly as Alyssa Longfield and Avery MacDougall both made sure they got their bits in there. In the end, everyone had to settle for a 3-3 draw...a thrilling 3-3 draw, but a draw all the same.

Reactions
We came so close to taking one huge step towards qualification, and the fans who watched this game were certainly frustrated. Goalscoring didn't seem to be an issue, it's just that Eshialand knew how to counter our punches and that helped decide things. Defense seemed to be lacking overall so if we were to go through to the knockouts, this problem would need to be addressed quickly.

Up Next...
Ok. Here we go. Saterun to determine everything. Both teams on one point, knowing that a win might be enough to secure knockout football with Eshialand and Valanora meeting at the same time. We need to win this game, no questions asked, to get ourselves into the knockout stage (hopefully) and that is the be all and end all.
One more game to decide if we will play at least one more game.
Fate is in the hands of ourselves and another team that calls themselves The Jaguars.
This Jaguar Civil War will determine everything.
Hold on to your hats.
GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group C, Pasarga)
MD1: vs Valanora (1) - Stadium of the Moon, Lunas L 0-3 (4th)
MD2: vs Eshialand (27) - Stilinkeep Stadium, Stilinkeep D 3-3 (4th)
MD3: vs Saterun (40) - Stadium of the Moon, Lunas

[Aphrilia]

COMMENTATOR'S CLIP
Jimmy Karsten and Rory Delap are the selected commentators for coverage of The Anchors' matches.

Rory Delap: Final minutes of this dying game, the referee has given six minutes of stoppage time! As it stands, it's two for two between Aphrilia and Farfadillis. With Group H looking dim, a draw would not be a favorable result for either side here. Jim, how do you think this match will end? Who's the winner of this match if things stand?

Jimmy Kasten: I doubt you mean the winner of the match literally, but I think we would be more of the winners here. A draw against a top side such as Farfadillis would be incredi- Oh! Brentford has stolen the ball, it's a counter-attack from Aphrilia! She passes to Campton, he signals the pace! Oh my goodness this is a last ditch attempt!


...


...


...


Rory Delap: They're all out of energy, but Aphrilia's willing to take the push! Great dribbling by Logan Campton as he drifts to the side, and he immediately heads back to the inside before reaching the side of the Farf box! Options, options, he's thinking and it seems he's found it! Pass back to Edward Elliot.

Jimmy Karsten: Lacey and Stewart pinned down by the defense, not much they can do. Elliot, oh my he strikes from outside the b-

Rory Delap: GOOOOAAAAALLLLLL!! HE'S DONE IT! EDWARD ELLIOT MAKES IT THREE BY THE 92ND!!


...


...


...


Jimmy Karsten: Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable! Full time, it's three for The Anchors and two for La Vherderoja! Aphrilia now has their first ever World Cup win!

Rory Delap: And against a team like Farfadillis, whom destroyed Chromatika by seven to none? It's an incredible statement to pull off such an upset. But with the latter having lost to The Kytler Peninsulae, they won't be an easy opposition for the final group stage game. Though with things going great so far... I believe in this team.

Jimmy Karsten: I believe in them too Rory! The entire country does. Edward Elliot redeeming his first matchday mistake, The Anchors grabbing a first win and an upset at that, we just have to keep backing them up. There's hope within all of us, and with that hope I'm certain no matter what happens in the end, everyone will be happy.

Rory Delap: Speaking of everyone being happy, rumors are that even Her Imperial Sovereign herself was delighted with the result...

----- APHRILIA 3 - 2 FARFADILLIS -----
GOALS AND BOOKINGS
Nathaniel Rosberg (13')
(27') Lajos Danzas --
(31' ; 45+1') Dénes Robineau
-- Mitch Young (50')
Ines Forrestal (75')
(82') Eloriján Mopiraja --
Edward Elliot (90+2')

APH SUBSTITUTES
Wallace OUT / Brentford IN (29')
Rosberg, Forrestal OUT / Stewart, Lacey IN (80')

OOC: Unfortunately, short RP from me. I've been quite exhausted and would like a good rest but at the same time wished to do a roleplay at least. Hope you like the scorebox though! Farf, if there's any details you want to change or are incorrect, let me know!

[Vdara]

42 Points

Vdara’s history with the World Cup has been similar to a lot of relationships - long, complex, and shaky, with a large bean-related hiatus in the middle. Well, okay, maybe that’s just an original experience, but the point remains. Having qualified five times (87, 89, 90, 95, 96) Vdara had only picked up a meagre eight points across fifteen games, amounting to a whopping 0.53 points per game in the World Cup proper. Taking into account that Vdara’s best cycles saw them pick up only three points (1-0-2 and 0-3-0), you can start to paint a picture of what the majority of Vdaran qualifications have been like. If you can’t, a handy chart has been attached for your viewing pleasure.

[it’ssoover/we’resoback.png]

Thus, one can only imagine the emotions and vibes felt when Vdara matched their best ever group stage result(s) on the very first matchday. More still, when Vdara drew against the Squornshelan Remnant States to set a new record for Vdaran football - four points. For the first time in a very long time, the trend was heading upwards, and there was hope that this trend would continue against Bears Armed. The strange separatist nation that is West Vdara had miraculously managed to defeat them twice, so naturally anything less than a victory would be seen as a propaganda nightmare for the original and best Vdaran government.