CAFA 8 - RP Thread

[Kimi-Suomi]

In the end, it was one game too many.

But that's OK...we will be back again.

NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

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SCHEDULE (The Helvetica Scenario)
MD1: @Okkerisaaret [Ochre Islands] (4) - Breakerview National Athletics Arena, Bellflower L 1-2 (-1 Point)
MD2: vs Okkerisaaret [Ochre Islands] (4) - The Nest (Pesä), Kimi Kaupunki D 0-0 (-1 Point)
MD3: @Jousimies A* [Saggitarius A*/Sgr A] (UR) - Glassbridge Stadium, Cathair (neutral site?) W 3-0 (0 Points)
MD4: vs Jousimies A* [Saggitarius A*/Sgr A] (UR) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat W 2-1 (1 Point)
MD5: vs Lakikieli [Legalese] (19) - The Nest (Pesä), Kimi Kaupunki W 1-0 (2 Points)
MD6: @Lakikieli [Legalese] (19) - Mallahar International Stadium, Okerson L 3-5 (1 Point)
MD7: @Vdara (27) - VdarArena, Chania D 4-4 (1 Point)
MD8: vs Vdara (27) - Galaktien Colosseum (Colosseum of the Galaxies), Lumikukkulat L 2-3 (0 Points)
MD9: @Evermark (16) W 2-0 (1 Point)
MD10: vs Evermark (16) - The Nest (Pesä), Kimi Kaupunki D 0-0 (1 Point)
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K1: vs Cardenao (7) - The Arena Kirola, Cathair W 4-3
K2: vs Huayramarca (1) - Glassbridge Stadium, Cathair W 1-0
K3: vs Kryteninen [Krytenia] (11) - El Ruedo, Cathair W 1-1 (2-1 AET)
K4: vs Bostopinen [Bostopia] (14) - Glassbridge Stadium, Cathair W 3-2
K5: vs Okkerisaaret [Ochre Islands] (4) - The Beltzarga, Cathair L 0-2

[Mertagne]

Mertagne's international football players are so well rested it's a miracle that none of them have packed up and come back home in the time that they've been chilling in Audioslavia waiting for their turn to play in the knockouts of CAFA Cup 8. We asked each and every member of the squad what they've been up to in Cathair the last five matchdays since Mertagne have had to play a game, and here's how they answered:

Rhiannon Fawn hired a bicycle and quickly discovered that the hills around half the city make for quite a workout. The narrow streets make you look quite rude if you're cycling down them, though!

Pertinax Tikeers sat on the balcony of his hotel room and read every single Alasdair Colby book. He took to live-sharing his takes as he read the series for the first time on social media site Boofer.

Cedric Millard spent the time searching Cathair's vintage record stores for a first edition print of the official World Cup 66 song "Football To The Moon", which was played during the simultaneous opening ceremonies to the Syndicatian-Audioslavian hosted tournament. This song is perhaps most well known for taking on an entirely different meaning once the opening ceremony was actually broadcast.

Karon Murell had a highlight in the week when he set a local speed climbing record at the local rock-climbing wall.

Conwal Ibarborde checked out Cathair's music scene, and found that Audioslavia's music scene is thankfully much wider than the musical talents of Audio Versus Ko-oren.

Honorio Menez was spotted getting very annoyed with Audioslavian chess prodigies while playing human chess in a local park.

Sabrina Aikman headed over to Grand Forum and bought a spa treatment. She's hoping that by resting her legs for a bit she'll be extra pacy on the night.

Saskia Maker must have a had a fantastic agent, because she managed to record her appearance on an Audioslavian gameshow during the break. She declined to comment on if she won.

Aato Irizarri made it his mission to try every flavour of ice cream from a local vendor. So far he's made it two-thirds of the way through the list.

Lloyd Seddon has spent enough time in Cathair to avoid 'all that touristy bollocks' and instead hung out with teammate Graham Ellerby and some friends from Cathair.

Priamo Commons-Anteria checked out the local museums and has since become the team's expert in the hundreds of years of Audioslavian history the city had to showcase.

Miliav Petremol spent the time on his rich friend's yacht, which was parked in a local marina.

Leigh Eyre admitted to binge watching the latest season of her favourite fantasy series from Starblaydia.

Jordan Will was seen partying on no less than four different nights - with six different women.

Amy Quennell attended an Audioslavian life-drawing class, and showed us a fantastic picture of two men engaged in a naked brawl that she had painted during the class. Our only feedback was that there was a bit too much hair where it shouldn't be. We didn't know whether that was an artistic choice or not.

Stewart Bickley's most exciting part of the downtime was going on a karaoke night with some other members of the team. His performance of "Eternal Flame" went down as one of the best of all time.

Graham Ellerby simply hung out with Lloyd Seddon and 'the crew'.

Ihintz Ackroyd claims to have spent all his time at the gym.

Chloe Fairley hired a sports car and took it for a drive on Audioslavia's long, winding roads.

Holly Eveson leveraged her connections and attempted to prank call Jeremy Jaffacake with the help of Mertagnian comedian Ron Newey. Newey claims that the prank was a success, and will be broadcast on his show at a later date.

Burro Curwood visited the city's largest cemetery, and caught a glimpse of the graves of famous Cathairi of days gone by.

Olaia Charlemagne is believed to have snagged an invite to a costume party in Grand Forum - the bee costume she wore was so good that nobody knows if it was actually her that attended.

Niki Barnard ate a different deep-fried thing every day. It's a miracle she's still alive.

Kim Le Maistre knitted a scarf in team colours for her partner.

Tevente Kings entered a local miniatures wargame tournament and came 4th. His army of Space Pirates was beaten in the semi-finals by an army of Robot Dinosaurs.

Nazer Armenadriz spent a quiet week with his family, who had come out to see him perform in his first international tournament.

Kristie Ettrick recovered from a sore throat.

And finally, Ázëwyn Fëanáro enjoyed the luxury of being able to hop off to the Dreamed Realm at nary a moment's notice, and as such enjoyed the time off with partner Simeone Di Bradini.

Naturally, as the game against Flavovespia has gotten closer, our players have assembled in Cathair once more and are ready to bring it and are attempting to get back on the horse.

[Ochre Islands]

Haerensys, goal firmly set in mind, came away from the Community Museum of Culture in central Bellflower and headed for Manrique District, which was commonly thought of as the true 'centre' of the city, even if it wasn't geographically that way. 'Manrique' was the colloqual term for Manrique Plaza and was only really uttered when someone had official business to attend to. It was for this reason that Haerensys found himself wandering toward Manrique, approaching from

itself at the centre of the district was the colourfully petalled heart of the city and the streets that surrounded it like the leaves and stem of the flower from which the city took its name. It was Manrique Plaza's large, circular marble fountain that saw the wildest celebrations on Independence Day and the day of the Ochre Islands' ever-famous CAFA2 victory in Krytenia. While people did gather there to mark the end of the most recent BoCo (a term picked up from Mertagnians visiting and living here), it was a much more sombre affair, with Ochre flags draped solemnly on flags held over Ochre shoulders rather than waved triumphantly in the air.

Haerensys came into Manrique District via Ginsley Road, which ran on the eastern side. As Bellflower had started off as New Fenton, built under Bostopian supervision with Bostopian money, the buildings began looking less like the Ochre style (lime walls, surrounding dark brown window and doorframes made of wood and similarly wooden overhanging balconies on the first and second floors), and more like the 'old' Bostopian style, if you were awake enough to still believe in a Bostopia before they had always been in Anaia, which were symmetrical, proportioned and balanced brick buildings, with no ornate frills on the outside at all. While they certainly looked grand and were reminiscent of the administrative buildings of old Fenton, where most Ochre Islanders ancestors were from, they now looked incredibly out of place surrounded by a city built more in a style to suit the climate rather than being built as a show of colonial overlordship and mark-making on the islands off the Anaian continents.

As Haerensys padded further up the street, passing some private homes, embassies and upscale shops, cafés and restaurants favoured by the Ochre politicos (for not even Bellflower escaped the political class, even if they did only take a mildly above-average salary) and wealthier tourists, he soon came across the junction with Lanton Street, where he turned left and began walking down the road the Prime Minister had her official residence on. Her home faced southwards, and while he was on the other side of the street, he still gave a wave to the Carabineers who guarded Willow and Ruby's official residence. Not having much else to do but pray for the occasional breeze and avoid the mid-summer's sun as it sat in a clear blue sky, they waved back to the Ochrenatik man on the other side of the road before recommencing their duties 'keeping watch' and posing for photos with braver tourists outside the famous door of number 3 Lanton Street, which had so often been seen on regional news broadcasts.

Finally, he reached Manrique Square itself. Despite being pedestrianised to all but bin lorries and official political vehicles, he still found himself looking both ways before stepping into what had once been the road. It was a force of habit. The fountain was a hive of activity as usual, with almost every kind of person sitting on its thick marble lip, some cooling off below the knee in its cool waters, whilst others were facing away from or aside it whilst chatting to friends and colleagues, or merely having a snack or taking selfies to send to friends. It was here that the great crossroads of Manrique District met, Lanton Street to the east, Bare Row to the south, New Fenton Street to the west and finally Ochre Row to the north, named early on by the Bostopian Movement Foundation members (the BMF were who spearheaded the move of dissident Bostopians to the Ochres) as a sign of what was to come. As an aside, it was at the very north end of Ochre Row where it met Callengers Road where the Ochre Senate stood. Haerensys smiled at the one or two of those around the fountain who he caught looking at his clothes. He must have been dressed oddly according to what was 'usual' for them back home, and the tattoos probably stood out as well.

He had been born Humphrey, quickly taking the name Haerensys when he was properly welcomed into the Ochrenatik belief system, the 'sys' at the end of his name denoting him as a male follower. Not every Ochrenatik took names of this form, but those looking for a break from their past tended to change. He'd dropped his surname and tried not to think of it, not because of some familial trauma, but merely because he felt himself as in a family with the Islands themselves, taking the surname Ochre on his passport as many of the others in his position did, though only to keep forms happy when they insisted he enter a surname.

Still he walked on, his destination at the Mertagnian embassy at the junction of Emberbridge Road and New Fenton Street (which he'd entered after coming out of Manrique Square) rapidly looming large in front of him as he passed the smells emanating from the streetfood vendors who were allowed to set up shop in New Fenton Street. They largely served Ochre cuisine of maize based breads stuffed with meats and/or stewed locally-grown vegetables, and there were always stands selling similarly local Ochre-grown bananas, but one or two stalls selling foreign foods had popped up in recent weeks.

Finally, he reached the Mertagnian Embassy on Emberbridge Street and quickly stepped up the three steps outside it, which were only there because the original Bostopian planners had seen fit to install a cellar underneath the building rather than be satisfied with building above ground. What the Mertagnians did with it nobody cared or knew, largely ignoring the windows which were just above floor height and let in a little bit of light. Haerensys walked past the Mertagnian flags near the doorway and stepped across the carpeted floor to approach the reception desk, where he was greeted by another young man, who politely explained that as the Ochre Islands and Mertagne were both in the Bellflower Area (AORTA+, for the uninitiated), he didn't need a visa to stay long-term in Mertagne anymore, and while his journey may have felt like it was for nothing, he could at least take some pamphlets on Mertagne's Wesaxe region and, ironically, the best ways of getting there.

[Audioslavia]

CAFA 8 - The Helvetica Scenario - Knockout 6

CAFA Knockout 6
Ko-oren 1–0 Ochre Islands
Flavovespia 1–3 Mertagne

 Knockouts 

Knockout Round 1
  K1-G1 Kimi-Suomi               vs Cardenao                  4-3

Knockout Round 2
  K2-G1 Huayramarca              vs Kimi-Suomi                0-1
  K2-G2 Audioslavia              vs Vdara                     2-1

Knockout Round 3
  K3-G1 Estorvipa and Estorpiva  vs Bye                       Bye
  K3-G2 Ochre Islands            vs Audioslavia               3-2
  K3-G3 Krytenia                 vs Kimi-Suomi                1-1 (1-2)

Knockout Round 4
  K4-G1 Mertagne                 vs Bye                       Bye
  K4-G2 Bostopia                 vs Kimi-Suomi                2-3
  K4-G3 Estorvipa and Estorpiva  vs Ochre Islands             2-4

Knockout Round 5
  K5-G1 Mertagne                 vs Bye                       Bye
  K5-G2 Kimi-Suomi               vs Ochre Islands             2-0

Knockout Semi-Final
  K6-G1 Ko-oren                  vs Ochre Islands             1-0
  K6-G2 Flavovespia              vs Mertagne                  1-3

Third Place Playoff - Cutoff: Sunday 22:00 UTC
  K7-G0 Ochre Islands            vs Flavovespia                @ The Beltzarga 

Final - Cutoff: Sunday 22:00 UTC
  K7-G1 Ko-oren                  vs Mertagne                   @ The Beltzarga

Fun Fact! In The Helvetica Scenario, the Final Table accurately shows where each team has finished, even factoring knockout games into account.*

Pos Team                                    Pts   SoO   P   W   D   L   F   A   GD  
 1 Ko-oren                                    7    21  11   8   2   1  12   5    7  
 2 Mertagne                                   7    15  11   7   2   2  27  17   10  
 3 Ochre Islands                              5    21  14   8   3   3  31  20   11  
 4 Flavovespia                                5    19  11   7   2   2  24  14   10  
 5 Kimi-Suomi                                 4    10  15   8   3   4  28  23    5  
 6 Estorvipa and Estorpiva                    3    13  11   6   1   4  21  16    5  
 7 Bostopia                                   3     7  11   6   2   3  32  24    8  
 8 Audioslavia                                2    15  12   7   0   5  19  11    8  
 9 Krytenia                                   2    -4  11   5   3   3  21  19    2  
10 Huayramarca                                1    18  11   5   2   4  27  22    5  
11 Vdara                                      1     3  11   5   2   4  16  19   -3  
12 Pyazhnaya                                  0    16  10   4   2   4  24  22    2  
13 Yesopalitha                                0     4  10   4   2   4   9  13   -4  
14 Evermark                                   0    -2  10   4   2   4  14  16   -2  
15 Cardenao                                   0    -6  11   5   1   5  28  26    2  
16 Koronavia                                  0    -6  10   4   2   4  13  16   -3  
17 Legalese                                  -1     2  10   4   1   5  14  18   -4  
18 Vilwandia                                 -1   -14  10   3   3   4  23  21    2  
19 Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove    -1   -16  10   3   3   4  17  21   -4  
20 Semarland                                 -2   -16  10   2   4   4  13  11    2  
21 Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land    -3    -6  10   1   5   4  13  19   -6  
22 United Hawkland                           -3   -10  10   2   3   5  20  23   -3  
23 Aleirave                                  -4    -4  10   2   2   6  17  25   -8  
24 Strayaroos                                -5   -10  10   0   5   5   9  19  -10  
25 Bharadwaja                                -8    -3  10   0   2   8  10  25  -15  
26 Sgr A                                     -9     2  10   0   1   9   7  24  -17  

*but only if we use 3PPO victories as a second tiebreaker after Points. Oh, and if you ignore Cardenao.

[Ko-oren]

Three CAFA trophies in the third place playoff. Zero in the final - we're getting another first time winner joining Aut-Ves-Nat, the Ochre Islands, Audioslavia, Flavovespia, Krytenia, and Huayramarca as regional champions.

In the ultimate "if we don't know our next move, our opponents surely won't", the Dragonflies staff called up Lei yGorllaeneal, centreback of Dí Maozöxê. The 21-year old falls squarely in our self-inflicted CAFA age bracket of 18-23 - the KFA intends to send a squad with at least two-thirds of our players in that range. He's the ultimate Manguele pick and it's very strange he wasn't on the radar earlier - and bringing him onto the squad for just the final cannot have been the plan - everyone involved with the Dragonflies knows that regional knockout success is very much an incident rather than a pattern. The massive 38-man squad (11 on the field, 12 on the bench, the rest merely there for training) will move Thomas Finisterrais to the stands so yGorllaeneal can be a sub if he doesn't start. The 21-year old Mawr has gone through a wild season of self-improvement, OKing a move to a country that counted as our exact opposites for so long. He held himself as the - often - lone centreback at the prestigious club and if that doesn't warrant a call-up to Manguele's Ko-oren, nothing will.

With that flaw corrected, we predict the starting XI for the final to be as follows: Cyamou on goal, the Maethorian near flawless in this CAFA run outside of that 3-0 Mertagne match: he might not count as a regular top 5 goalkeeper, but that's probably more to an excess of good goalkeeping. In defence, we're expecting Zulambee and Kaji on the wings, with Zulambee potentially a new gold standard at the position with the drop-off of Mizuno and us lacking a wingback with initiative like Van Kalvenhaar can be on the other side. Speed and a willingness to get involved in passing and moving the ball up, the WSR rightback is doing a lot of things right for his chances to remain on the team long-term. Kaji to play leftback, a player in the same mold as the 32-year old Van Kalvenhaar. Gillinghurst wouldn't be a wrong pick either, but we're going with the Kanatsu star.

For centrebacks, we think it'll be Mellowby, Todaka, yGorllaeneal. Despite getting a call-up mid-tournament, Bassin hasn't been enough, and neither has Loper, so after a bit, the combination of Mellowby-Todaka-Aedil/Aelea kept many clean sheets for the team. It could be that, or we're seeing the first minutes of yGorllaeneal as a Dragonfly. Either way, Mellowby and Todaka are almost completely assured of their spots. On the other hand, why change a winning combination that has conceded 5 goals in an entire tournament? We're counting on a radical change of plans by Manguele to keep everyone guessing.

The midfield should be something like Torre, Laza, Andrade, and Maeno, riding the hot hand with Andrade's and Maeno's incredible form. Torre and Laza are no-brainers, getting the midfield up to 75% Miradelenses. It's been a while since so many Mawrs were called up to the team, but none of yMorcanmac, yLlwteis, and yCinrhadd could make a good enough case to start on what's effectively a youth team. yCinrhadd should absolutely be back for the regular NT, but as far as forging a new core goes, the Torre-Laza-Andrade combination could bring us very far. The sole attacking midfield position has really fallen out of vogue as Manguele expects everyone to pick up a combination of passing and creating, so Walbuck and Tsuchimoto could be sidelined for a bit, unless the reinvent themselves somewhat at their fairly liberal clubs (position-wise), Tanques and Kanatsu.

Up front we're expected yOraenaig despite what's happened in the last few weeks: Hiraide fits the team better but yOraenaig is just the more clinical finisher. In a final, you don't necessarily need to create chance after chance: you just need one opportunity, and sink it.

---

Emergency Parliament Vote Reveals Bellflower Ambivalence

Amahne, Today 11:09 A sudden call for a vote, a hasty procedure, an unpredictable result. Parliament has experienced one of its most chaotic mornings in a while. The topic: should Ko-oren join ACORN?

Minister Henery Habborlain, standing in for prime minister Laurderinthen, was sent to Amahne to call for the vote, which yielded even more firsts: Laurderinthen hadn't previously thought to include Parliament in a vote, with the thought process being that such an impactful decision needed more support than merely ministers and lawmakers. Habborlain would be the first minister to sit in on a voting procedure, with the Meritocracy and the Democracy normally fully separated. The Minister of Governmental Affairs was called on to explain the issue and state the central question.

This didn't give parties any time to prepare a statement or a position, so members of parliament were left to their own ideology and judgment in casting their vote. With no party line to follow, some parties ended up split down the middle in their Fors and Againsts, while others proved remarkably united.

Should Ko-oren join ACORN?
Aye: 84/144 (58.3%)
Nay: 60/144 (41.7%)

In the end, the Ayes had it but not by a large majority. Firm supporters were - understandably - the Parti International (4/4 Aye) and the PL Économique (4/4 Aye), as well as the Liberal party (14/17 Aye). The Greens, Meritocrats, Democrats, and Labour were all moderately in favor, which forms the bulk of the 84 Ayes, while the Nationalists, Vert&Bleu, and various regional parties largely (or sometimes unanimously) voted against. The Democrats (12/20 Aye) and Conservatives (4/11 Aye) were closest to 50% splits.

The plan is for Habborlain to take the result to Laurderinthen, who will incorporate the vote into his final decision - which political commentators expect will conclude with a Ko-orenite signature under the document.

[Mertagne]

Mertagne's senior international football team are on the cusp of claiming their first piece of silverware in the modern era. The team have, through the magic of The Helvetica Scenario, been spring boarded through five rounds of competition and dumped on the doorstep of Flavovespia, who suffered a 1-3 defeat to the Green Goblins at El Ruedo last night. A stunning set piece put into motion from a corner by Conwal Ibarborde found its way to the head of Burro Curwood, and the Polaris striker managed a clean goal in the eleventh minute to set the pace of the match. Going into the game, the two-time CAFA Champions were the favourites, but the fire in the belly of the Mertagnians seemed to have tipped the scales in their favour and given them the upper hand in the match. An equalising brace from Richard Birmingham just before the end of the first half looked like it would lock the lemon and lime squads into a bitter stalemate, but Mertagne were renewed in the second half and after a deft substitution from manager Ázëwyn Fëanáro, the Mertagnians brought another player forward and pressed on the attack, as Nazer Armenadriz gave it his all with a pacy run past the defence in the 63rd minute and an on-target shot that sent the Mertagnians up 2-1. The third goal and the cherry on the cake to send the Mertagnians through to the final came from Jordan Will, as the midfielder made the most of a scrambling Hornet back three in the box and got an excellent touch on the ball that sent it sliding into the bottom left corner in the 86th minute.

Flavovespia presented many chances at taking the win off of the Mertagnians throughout the second half, but the power from the Hornet's strikers was handily swatted away by Pertinax Tikeers.

The stadium crowd, which saw an influx of Mertagnians in comparison to the group stage of CAFA 8, was electric as the final whistle blew. As the results from the Arena Kirola poured in, a sense of unease threatened to undo the excitement as the Mertagnians discovered they would be playing Ko-oren in the final.

Mertagne and Ko-oren's relationship off the pitch is as cordial as you like - the two nations enjoy healthy relations, and as of next year their ties will be even close as both nations have signed the Bellflower agreement and will be, like many other nations across Anaia, joining the agreement's associated freedom of movement area. On the pitch, however, there is certainly a growing rivalry, as the Dragonflies and the Green Goblins have faced each other six times in the modern era - five of which have been within the last cycle. A decade ago during CAFA 3, Ko-oren began its story with Mertagne in the annals of football by punting the Mertagnian side out of the first knockout round in a 2-0 victory that saw them go on to lose 1-0 in the final to Audioslavia.

For eight years, not much was seen of Ko-oren from the other side of a Mertagnian-clad pitch. The Dragonflies entertained here on home soil during CAFA 5 four years later, but were knocked out in the quarter-finals after facing heavyweights Flavovespia. The next time the two nations would go head-to-head was during World Cup 95, in a tournament in which the Anaians found themselves facing off against each other in the qualifying group and in the group stage of the finals. In the qualifiers, the home-and-away series split across the matchdays saw the Dragonflies best Mertagne in an uncharacteristic 1-4 victory, but on the flipside Mertagne were only able to muster a 1-1 draw over on the islands. Come the group stage of the finals, Ko-oren and Mertagne were locked in a pot with hosts Sylestone, and Baggieland. Here, a similar result to the CAFA 3 exit was managed, as Ko-oren were able to take a critical three points that saw them exit the group on top on goal difference. The Ko-orenite side, seemingly allergic to buffering a lead, have a habit of needing to do so uncharacteristically in games against Mertagnian sides, likely through fear of a swift Mertagnian counter-attack. This was evident during The Helvetica Scenario of this very tournament, which saw the last time these two sides took each other on. That resultant home-and-away series saw a typical scoreline in Ko-oren, but the floodgates opened at the INDOMITABLE ARENA as Mertagne clinched a 3-0 victory - their only one against the Dragonflies to date in the modern era.

Taking up the oche to start against Ko-oren in the final is a squad that truly showcases the best the Green Goblins have to offer. Rhiannon Fawn takes the goal, as Ko-oren is a side famed more for its shot placement than its volleying ability, and Fawn's keen eyes and keener hands will need to be making no mistakes that the Dragonflies can take advantage of.

In defence, Sakia Maker has been selected for her chemistry with Fawn in goal, and as an easy option to play the ball to in a likely sparse attacking third. Conwal Ibarborde is an easy centre-back option, as the 24 year old's shot placement for set pieces and aggressive style of tackling play when out of possession should be enough to keep the Ko-orenites off the ball and root Mertagne sorely in possession to control the flow of the match. On the right hand side, Sabrina Aikman will continue to be present to ratchet the ball up to the midfield.

That midfield is likely to be comprised of Stewart Bickley, Jordan Will, and Amy Quennel. The two box-crashers at the flanks will be present as the attackers will likely be playing dropped-back positions to create a buffer against the Ko-orenite defence, and so their job will be to find a way to play the ball into the box, facilitated by some aggressive passes from Will.

Mertagne's four attackers here are likely to consist of Nazer Armenadriz, who will likely be a receiver of the ball from the wings near the box when in possession and a likely goal threat, and Holly Eveson and Olaia Charlemagne, who will be looking to attack from the wider positions of the pitch. Tevente Kings will be joining Armenadriz in the centre as support. Kings is a highly mobile striker that will be looking to take advantage of Ko-orenite passing mistakes and make some solid interceptions when out of possession.

The ideal for this squad is for the Dragonflies to fail to catch a whiff of Mertagne's defending third - play is aiming to be centred solely in the midfield and will likely focus on short, controlled passes until the opportunity for a long, breaking pass presents itself. To that end, the willingness to capitalise on mistakes and take few risks that this setup of the Mertagnian side is emobodying is actually eminent of the post-football rhetoric that is demanded by the Ko-orenite fans and has been adopted by Dragonfly manager Lele Manguele - but Fëanáro will be hoping to put a focus on solid attacking lines and actually doing something with the ball rather than the game of attrition preferred by the opponents.

This final is the chance to prove whether Mertagne have actually finally cracked the tactical fortress that is post-football. We saw glimpses of it in that 3-0 match earlier in the tournament, but the tactics and general sh*thousery performed by these types of sides is something that has always been a pain in the side of Starblaydi-born manager Ázëwyn Fëanáro, as her philosophy and ethos have always tended to the more attacking mindset. If Mertagne do manage to fight for a victory at The Beltzarga, she will certainly be hoping that it won't be by that most Ko-orenite of scorelines - but if it is, it's likely any ire would subside once the team gets a hand on that shiny, shiny trophy.

[Audioslavia]

CAFA 8 - Final
+ Third Place Playoff

CAFA Cup Third Place Playoff
Ochre Islands 3–3 Flavovespia (3–3 AET) (4–2 pen.)

CAFA Cup Final
Ko-oren 1–1 Mertagne (1–2 AET)

 Knockouts 

Knockout Round 1
  K1-G1 Kimi-Suomi               vs Cardenao                  4-3____________

Knockout Round 2
  K2-G1 Huayramarca              vs Kimi-Suomi                0-1____________
  K2-G2 Audioslavia              vs Vdara                     2-1____________

Knockout Round 3
  K3-G1 Estorvipa and Estorpiva  vs Bye                       Bye____________
  K3-G2 Ochre Islands            vs Audioslavia               3-2____________
  K3-G3 Krytenia                 vs Kimi-Suomi                1-1 (1-2)______

Knockout Round 4
  K4-G1 Mertagne                 vs Bye                       Bye____________
  K4-G2 Bostopia                 vs Kimi-Suomi                2-3____________
  K4-G3 Estorvipa and Estorpiva  vs Ochre Islands             2-4____________

Knockout Round 5
  K5-G1 Mertagne                 vs Bye                       Bye____________
  K5-G2 Kimi-Suomi               vs Ochre Islands             2-0____________

Knockout Semi-Final
  K6-G1 Ko-oren                  vs Ochre Islands             1-0____________
  K6-G2 Flavovespia              vs Mertagne                  1-3____________

Third Place Playoff
  K7-G0 Ochre Islands            vs Flavovespia               3-3 (3-3) (4-2)

Final
  FINAL Ko-oren                  vs Mertagne                  1-1 (1-2)______

Thank you everyone for participating, congratulations to our new champions and commiserations to Ko-oren and the other 24 teams. Look out for another installment of The Helvetica Scenario, coming soon to a tournament near you!

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THE HELVETICA SCENARIO
Final Standings

Pos Team                                    Pts   SoO   P   W   D   L   F   A   GD  
 1 Mertagne                                   8    21  12   8   2   2  29  18   11   Champions
 2 Ko-oren                                    6    27  12   8   2   2  13   7    6  
 3 Ochre Islands                              5    26  15   8   4   3  34  23   11  
 4 Flavovespia                                5    24  12   7   3   2  27  17   10  
 5 Kimi-Suomi                                 4    10  15   8   3   4  28  23    5  
 6 Estorvipa and Estorpiva                    3    13  11   6   1   4  21  16    5  
 7 Bostopia                                   3     7  11   6   2   3  32  24    8  
 8 Audioslavia                                2    15  12   7   0   5  19  11    8  
 9 Krytenia                                   2    -4  11   5   3   3  21  19    2  
10 Huayramarca                                1    18  11   5   2   4  27  22    5  
11 Vdara                                      1     3  11   5   2   4  16  19   -3  
12 Pyazhnaya                                  0    16  10   4   2   4  24  22    2  
13 Yesopalitha                                0     4  10   4   2   4   9  13   -4  
14 Evermark                                   0    -2  10   4   2   4  14  16   -2  
15 Cardenao                                   0    -6  11   5   1   5  28  26    2  
16 Koronavia                                  0    -6  10   4   2   4  13  16   -3  
17 Legalese                                  -1     2  10   4   1   5  14  18   -4  
18 Vilwandia                                 -1   -14  10   3   3   4  23  21    2  
19 Saint-Jean-Jacques et Burnham-on-Stove    -1   -16  10   3   3   4  17  21   -4  
20 Semarland                                 -2   -16  10   2   4   4  13  11    2  
21 Space Laser Dinosaur Robot Pirate Land    -3    -6  10   1   5   4  13  19   -6  
22 United Hawkland                           -3   -10  10   2   3   5  20  23   -3  
23 Aleirave                                  -4    -4  10   2   2   6  17  25   -8  
24 Strayaroos                                -5   -10  10   0   5   5   9  19  -10  
25 Bharadwaja                                -8    -3  10   0   2   8  10  25  -15  
26 Sgr A                                     -9     2  10   0   1   9   7  24  -17  

Edit: Added spaces after match results

[Mertagne]

Apologies for the delay in getting this one completed. I was away. Thanks very much to Ko for a wonderful final, and for Audio for running a brilliant tournament. I’m thrilled to receive my first piece of senior football silverware on NS.

LAST GASP GOAL GETS GREEN GOBLINS GAME GAGNÉ - GLORIOUS
Mertagne manage to lift the CAFA Cup in a hard-fought tournament

Mertagne’s international football team have made good on their promise of victory that they made at the start of the CAFA tournament to a nation of football fans yearning to celebrate something after the malaise that the last few years have seen the nation put through. After reaping the rewards of The Helvetica Scenario a well-rested Mertagnian side that had come off the back of a victory against Flavovespia to get them back into the groove faced off at The Beltzarga against a Ko-orenite squad that had faced a similar path, in just as much time off and a victory against the Ochre Islands.

The Dragonflies and the Green Goblins, two sides that have been thrown increasingly together in recent cycles, were determined to leave it all on the pitch and fight for the victory. Their methods of approaching this, however, were far different from your traditional Audioslavian brawl outside a pub, and instead played out akin to your typical game of chess inside an Audioslavian park - methodical, drawn out, and punitive against mistakes.

Lele Manguele’s side fielded a potent combination of players determined to espouse the values that the Ko-orenite side have brought to the multiversal game - clinical efficiency, with less of an onus on creating chances and more thought given to executing the few chances that naturally occur across the match. As the Dragonflies kicked off, Mertagnian manager Ázëwyn Fëanáro knew that she would have a tough game on her hands, which would likely centre around the middle third as both teams jostled for possession of the ball.

The younger Ko-orenite squad dominated much of the play in the first half, as opportunities to intercept the ball as it made its way down to the defensive third were few and far between. The changes in possession were rooted among the Mertagnian defence, as Conwal Ibarborde managed to systematically shut down the momentum that the Dragonflies were beginning to build several times over, with clean tackles against Dornared yOraenaig and a solid interception against Hixinio Andrade. The pace of this final was certainly tempered, with neither team wishing to over-extend and get caught short near their own goal.

Punters across the region predicted that this game would likely end in a 1-0 scoreline, with opinion on the victor tending towards the three-time finalists in Ko-oren. What many weren’t expecting is that it would be Mertagne that would make the first real breakaway play of the match, as after Stewart Bickley crashed against the waves of the Dragonfly defence a few times, Amy Quennell was able to be in the right place at the right time and intercept a counter-pass that the defence had tucked in to consolidate and flicked the ball out the right to Olaia Charlemagne. Sensing the tension in the box, the two central attackers managed to draw the attention to themselves, but a great tactical play from Stewart Bickley saw him find the space and, after a touch that threatened to play the ball back into Ko-orenite feet, wallop the ball towards the net. Wemagun Cyamou managed to put up a solid deflection, but was unable to get a grip on the ball fast enough as Tevente Kings crashed deep into the box and placed the ball in the net with an outstretched leg.

This goal in the 26th minute sent shockwaves across the stadium, and was certainly a position that the Ko-orenites weren’t necessarily used to. Their record against the Green Goblins in recent matches has shown that Mertagne have proved an interesting conundrum that Lele Manguele hasn’t yet solved, as Mertagne have disproportionately been the source of goals conceded by Ko-oren across the tournament. Something in the water in New Fligsive might hold the answers, but it seemed that the mistake bristled the Ko-orenite side into a much more rigid style of play that locked down many of the chances to come from Mertagne in the remainder of the first half. The Dragonflies rallied around Keiki Todaka on the back line, creating plays through them and policing their defensive third from a variety of threats. Sissigul Zulambee and Kaneyoshi Kaji on the wings pulled in slightly, forming a second shell around the central play, and deflecting Mertagne’s wing-like attackers from being able to get a good look in or surprise the Ko-orenite defence from the flanks.

Ko-oren weren’t willing to allow Mertagne to go into the halftime break with a morale boost, and Dornared yOraenaig was able to execute his plan with a clinical precision, making a breakaway run and outplaying a potentially too ensconced Rhiannon Fawn in the ensuing one-on-one in the 43rd minute. A counter-attack after the restart threatened to make things interesting once again going into the second half, but was easily shut down in the midfield and the ball knocked out to signal half-time.

The second half saw a substitution from Fëanáro’s side to go even more attacking - the aggressive 3-3-4 formation she had chosen specifically to face the Ko-orenites, in a departure from the usual 4-3-3, and saw Jordan Will come off and Niki Barnard come on to add even more boots into this unbalanced distribution with a bias to Mertagne’s attacking third. Quennell & Bickley, now even more so the connecting tissue between the defence and the attack, coalesced towards the centre line in response to the change, which gave them the option to play between each other when in possession and present further tackling opportunities when out of it. The Ko-orenite defence remained a tough nut to crack, with Holly Eveson placing a powerful shot in the 52nd minute that was handily stopped by Cyamou - this time gripped firmly in their hands.

Dornared yOraenaig was not alone in the attack as the match headed towards the hour mark - flanked by Ciriaco Laza and Matsuki Maeno, the Straudum VV forward felt comfortable in passing back and forth between them in order to inch control forward towards Rhiannon Fawn. A shot on target was flicked away, and the ensuing corner deftly cleared by Sakia Maker.

Where the pressure the Dragonflies continued to mount lacked in explosive potency, it more than made up for in technicality. Towards the latter half of standard time, the Ko-orenites were like a stern shadow on the heels of the Mertagnians, time and again winning the ball as the Mertagnian attack broke down due to effective marking and use of space, and controlling the direction and play of the ball when in possession to divide the Mertagnian squad along its usual lines and force the Green Goblins to attempt more novel, weaker lines of attack. Sakia Maker saw a yellow card after a poor tackling attempt.

Neither side seemed to have an appetite for extra time, but as the clock ticked ever close to the 90+change mark, it seemed that that was what both sides were going to have to stomach. The final attack of standard time belonged to Ko-oren, and a steely-eyed Rhiannon Fawn leapt and clutched a shot fired off by Matsuki Maeno in desperation in the dying seconds of injury time.

As extra time loomed, both sides knew that it was likely that just a single goal would be enough to tip the match - and thus the entire tournament - in their favour. Mertagne came out of the gate with everything they had, and this ultimately would be the volley they needed to shatter the fortress walls of the Ko-orenite defence - a cross to Nazer Armenadriz in the 6th minute of extra time was enough for the 19-year old to get a good touch on the ball in time for Cyamou to be unable to make the reach in time to the bottom right of the net. The ball, brushing past Wemagun’s gloves, rolled past the line at the end of The Beltzarga and sent the fans in Glassmarket and beyond into a frenzy. The mark had been made, Mertagne’s 499th international goal in the modern era, and Mertagne had notched up the scoreline, bringing it to 2-1 in the favour of the Green Goblins, but the timing could have been better - the amount of extra time remaining saw several opportunities for Ko-oren to equalise.

Substitutions here allowed for a quick defensive pivot, as Nazer Armenadriz, exhausted yet elated from scoring the goal, was subbed off to thunderous applause and replaced with a fresher Aato Irizarri to help tie up the defence and hold off the Ko-orenites enough to clinch the win.

Play began to get a bit looser in the second half of extra time, as both teams sensed the desperation and what was on the line. Charley Mellowby, exhausted, gave their all and cut down an attack from Tevente Kings that saw Mellowby receive a yellow and Kings look like he’d been injured - but with seven minutes left of extra time the NF Red Tri's striker was determined to remain on the pitch.

In the final moments standing between Mertagne and regional recognition, both teams were at their limit. A desperate shot from Dornared yOraenaig didn’t even need to be deflected by Rhiannon Fawn, and likewise a lacklustre run from Sabrina Aikman was picked up handily by Laza. Sensing that they didn’t have the time left, the final seconds saw a passing play from Ko-oren as the final whistle blew and signified Mertagne’s victory.

Staff stormed the pitch in celebration as lime, green, and white confetti burst from the cannons that had been installed at The Beltzarga. Cheers erupted around the stadium and the multiverse as the hundreds of thousands of Mertagnian fans ‘verse-wide celebrated the team’s first senior tournament victory. A shocked Kristie Ettrick clutched her squad and jumped as they jumped up and down in disbelief, and hands clapped the shoulders of a seemingly relieved Ázëwyn Fëanáro.

As the large and likely hazardous in some form CAFA Cup was presented to the Mertagnian team, captain Rhiannon Fawn thrust the trophy into the air to rapturous cheers.

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FËANÁRO ANNOUNCES DEPARTURE FROM MERTAGNIAN SENIOR FOOTBALL TEAM

Ázëwyn Fëanáro has announced her resignation from the role of Team Manager, effective before Mertagne’s training period for World Cup 96.

The 41XX year old Starblaydi-born elf, who took the mantle of Mertagnian team manager before CAFA Cup 3, announced in a press conference following Mertagne’s prolific CAFA Cup 8 win that she “had unlocked the potential that was in the squad all along” and that the time had come to “take on a new project”.

Fëanáro has enjoyed immense popularity across Mertagne in her tenure as national team manager, with the elf bringing a certain amount of star power to a role that has previously had little positive media light shone upon it. Her candid nature with the press and calm and collected attitude when played - often intentionally - against her assistant manager Kristie Ettrick, has made Fëanáro an effective communicator and conduit for change within an organisation that has often been sluggish to catch up with the times.

The FMF has reacted to the news by publishing a response to Fëanáro’s resignation, in which the organisation praised her ‘ability to help us find the best in ourselves’ and her ‘commitment to uplifting Mertagnian success’. The organisation wished her all the best in her future endeavours, and it is believed that Fëanáro will receive national honours from the Mertagnian Government should she choose to accept them.

While many have assumed that assistant Manager Kristie Ettrick will be called up to the role of Manager of the Mertagnian Football Team, the 51 year old ex-Lehen Neorudo striker has remained uncharacteristically coy about it. Perhaps Ettrick is weighing her options, or she doesn’t want to tarnish what has already been a stellar reputation working alongside Fëanáro across the last decade. Regardless, heavy will be the head that wears the crown as they continue to build upon the international football team’s successes in World Cup 96 and beyond.