Cup of Harmony 87 - Rosters/RPs/Results

by **Eura** » Fri Dec 08, 2023 7:00 pm

world cup 95 qualifying apparently. Matchday 14?
Senterus 1-3 Eura
Oh fuck ok, who played this one? Basically a dead rubber, errm
Oscar Vincent was there. 150th cap, looked miserable the poor sod
Ana Mason? Wasted talent of this generation – Menard, Gates, Hammond, Sharp and Singh, all going the same way
Bedford really has conned his way to the top of the game, his clubmate Doherty not much better
Barnesy in the team WAY TOO LATE, scored twice but where was he before? James-y useless on the left
Adam woodman off the bench…what a sad end
The others, ricketts, dennis, west, who? At least Wright-y scored on the left

Well Glen, you’ve fucked it. Its official. Its all over. You’re going to be hung, drawn and quartered after a horrid trial in the court of public opinion. There’s no hope. No hope! All is lost and
GREETINGS, EARTHLING.
Blimey!
CAN YOU HEAR ME ALRIGHT?
Yes you’re actually rather loud
THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD.
Wait…what?!
FOOTBALL GOD!
Oh.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “OH?”
Well, it’s just…err…you’re not an actual deity, are you? I mean it’s a saying, “the football gods”, but no-one thinks there actually is
OH SHUT UP AND LISTEN! THUNDERCRACK!
Oh my! I’m sorry, I’ll listen. Look, see? Listening mode.
ABOUT BLOODY TIME.
Come on, there’s no need for that tone, I didn’t think you existed five minutes ago!
WELL YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT NOW SONNY JIM, I’M HERE AND I’M FUMING.
Fuming?
OUTRAGED! INCENSED! INFURIATED! POSTAL!
I’m guessing you’re not too happy with our World Cup qualifying performance either…
TOO RIGHT I’M NOT YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE HUMANOID CRETIN. THUNDERCRACK! YEARS AND YEARS OF THIS SHIT. WHAT DO I PAY YOU PEOPLE FOR?
…I don’t think you do pay us?
THUNDERCRACK!
Alright, alright! Christ.
CAREFUL MATE, THAT’S MY SON YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
But-
ENOUGH QUESTIONS, ITS TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE DOWN MY HEAVENLY COMMANDMENTS AND DELIVER THEM UNTO THE HOLY GROUND OF THINE FOOTY BALL. PREPARE YOURSELF.
I am prepared, my lord.
DO YOU HAVE A PEN?
I- shit. No. hold on. Just looking. Won’t be a moment. Almost…got it…
THUNDERCRACK! GET A MOVE ON.
OK OK! Here, see? Got one. Please go ahead…sir? Madam? Is there a, uh, correct pronoun or
I AM IN NO NEED OF GENDERED PRONOUNS EARTHLING, I AM A CONCEPTUAL BEING. WELL, EXCEPT WHEN YOU CALL ME LORD. KEEP THAT UP, I LIKE THAT.
What are your instructions, my lord?
HEED MY WORDS, PUNY MORTAL. YOU SHALL BREAK FROM THE ORTHODOXY OF THE FAILED FAITH IN 4-2-2-2. YOU MUST LEARN TO BE UNEURAN. YOU MUST LEARN THE WAY OF THE UNREALISTICALLY DEEP DEFENCE THAT RANDOM CALCULATORS HATE. YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO BE A SHITHOUSE. YOU MUST…PARK THE BUS.
…ok.
AND PLAY JUST ONE UP TOP.
Right.
AND NO BOMBING FORWARD ON THE FLANKS! CAUTION AT ALL TIMES.
Gotcha.
REALLY? OH. WELL THAT WAS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. GOOD LUCK. TA-RA!

by **Delaclava** » Fri Dec 08, 2023 7:05 pm

Welcome to Delaclava, and welcome to the 87th Cup of Harmony! We know, we know, this isn't the World Cup, but don't they say it's about the journey and not the destination? Besides, this particular destination is the Mainframe! It's new, it's shiny, it's thrilling, it's terrifying, and it's simply incredible. We are here to make our own mark. This is your time to tell the story of who you are.

Matchday 1 cutoff!

Group A
Delaclava 3–3 Milchama (scorinated by Tumbra)
Brannfjord 1–0 Reçueçn

Group B
Cap Nord 3–2 City of Myrtle Beach
Squornshelan Remnant States 1–1 Kandorith

Group C
Archalit 1–2 Independent Athletes from Quebec
Stevencousin 1–1 Beefsteak City (scorinated by Tumbra)

Group D
Eura 1–1 Naixi
The Kytler Peninsulae 2–0 Krytenia

Group E
Polar Islandstates 0–1 Cassadaigua
Xanneria 2–1 Pasarga

Group F
Sarzonia 0–0 Qasden
Huayramarca 5–3 Cardenao

Group G
Saterun 3–2 Hapilopper
Gnejs 0–2 Saint Eleanor

Group H
Juvencus 1–0 Audioslavia
Carpathia and Ruthenia 2–4 Acastanha

by **Gnejs** » Sat Dec 09, 2023 4:38 am

Killer Bob’s WCQ34 Match reports

MD6. Gnejs - Estresse Intenso: 1-3

Another weird opponent. Sounds like a type of coffee fancy continental people down south drink before heading to work. Or some sort of lager, maybe. Something imported. The Dandelions lost, again. Just thought I’d fit that in here, seeing as the powers to be around this place are very keen on that sort of thing. They all looked tired and performed underwhelmingly, The Dandelions. A few of them looked hungover. Ale was a big thing among the footballers back then. It’s been a real cultural shift there. Back then our «heroes» always celebrated a win by going out and getting shitfaced, whereas now I doubt any of today’s players touch the stuff. I get that it’s all about the game having gotten more professionalized and that’s fair, but I still miss the old players. Like Bengt Persson and Lasse Klöver, who used to go out and sit on the field outside Hagen Park during halftime and smoke. I wonder how IFK Hagen have been faring in Allgnejsan while I’ve been gone. It was looking shaky when I left, and there’s no sense of time in this place so for all I know the season might be over already. But I digress. What was I talking about? Right, old players and how things were better in the old days. Henrik Larsson, of Kejm BK, was another one of those old school players that always joined the fans for pints at the local pub after home games. He died young with a completely shattered liver, of course, but there was definitely something in the zeitgeist then that we just don’t have anymore. But then again, speaking of a bygone ambience, there was that Briskeby BK guy, Thomas Andersson, who for all intents and purposes turned out to be a serial rapist, but even though “everybody” knew he was a predator nobody said anything for years because he was “one of the boys”. So, it’s worth remembering that lamenting about the “good old days” being gone often obscures that much about those days were fucking terrible.

Today’s News

Sports – Football

Historic end to football season - Vasakamraterna claim first ever Allgnejsan title, and surprise Nokkeby team Friska Viljor BK secure Division 1 title and first ever promotion

By: Sophia Andersson

We witnessed history today, as Vasakamraterna secured their first ever Allgnejsan title after a 2-1 win away against Finntorp IK. While a draw had been sufficient, given that title rivals Storängens IF ended their season on the same number of points that Vasakamraterna entered their final game with, the new champions closed in style with a comfortable win up north. Their win marks the first time the top tier of Union football sees a “first-time winner” since Grünerhagen VF captured the title at the conclusion of the 80th season of Allgnejsan, over 20 years ago, and puts an end to a long period of “Old Club” domination. Spirits were high on the streets of Vasa, who could celebrate the Allgnejsan trophy returning for the first time since AIK Vasa’s golden years in the 1950’s.

The 101st Allgnejsan champions – Vasakamraterna

The Cinderella story of Vasakamraterna is inspiring and fun and shows that footballing triumph is achievable with hard work, dedication and a bit of luck. Founded a mere 18 years ago, the team has worked their way through the lower tiers at an impressive rate. They quickly surpassed their older rivals AIK Vasa as the main club in the eastern coastal city and established themselves as a serious top tier club at the end of the 99th edition of Allgnejsan. Playing a fast-paced and possession-based football, they’ve managed to frustrate the bigger clubs and comfortably secure three points against the bottom-half teams. Standout performances by players like Sigurd Åboo, Karl-Johan Kärv, Simon Stringholm and August Stocka, coupled with a remarkable consistency throughout the year, have been singled out as key aspects of the «Vasa Miracle».

It has been an interesting season overall though, where a lot of what was taken for granted the last couple of years has been upended. Consecutive 99th and 100th season champions Briskeby BK have been a shadow of their former self and never managed to stage a creditable title defense, whereas teams like Norrholmia IK and Nokkeby BK have surprised many with impressive performances that endured throughout the season. Norrholmia IK is a particularly interesting case, where a full 10 out 13 wins were achieved on the road, and we have to look deep in the annals to find an example where such a ghastly home record still lands you in fourth.

Kejm BK and IFK Segeltorp - regular title contenders the last couple of years - also failed to make any serious challenge for the title, and like Briskeby BK they seem to be in the midst of a problematic generational shift, where younger players struggle to pick up the mantle of old heroes. Storängens IF was the only “Old Club” with a real title chance, and young players who helped lift the team to a runners-up position - like Lukas Fager, Nikolaj Fjällstrand, Håkan Berg and Henrik Svärd - seem to indicate that the capital club will continue to be a title contender in the years to come.

The two promoted teams, IFK Hagen and Lokomotiv Esaias (who both only needed one Division 1 season to return to the top tier), managed to secure continued play in Allgnejsan next year, whereas it’ll be Grünerhagen VF and Dalströmma BK who gets relegated after weak performances. One of the most interesting questions here is likely what will happen with Georg Bardo? Will the Dandelion striker play Division 1 football next year, or will he be aiming to move clubs?

While Grünerhagen and Dalströmma will be joining Division 1 next year, Stordal club BK Rösunda needs to put in two more games before their fate is determined, as they are headed for playoffs against Division 1 third placed IFK Sørtangen.

Taking the step up from Division 1 to Allgnejsan is Haavika IK, who returns to Allgnejsan for the first time in 15 years, and sensational surprise team Friska Viljor BK from Nokkeby, who will be making their very first appearance. With Friska Viljor BK moving up, next season will feature the first ever Allgnejsan Nokkeby Derby. Friska Viljor BK have put in great performances all throughout the year, but many pundits still remain skeptical about their Allgnejsan prospects next year. However, if this year’s season has shown us anything, it’s that there’s a wind of change blowing through the top tier.

Allgnejsan Season 101 final table

Vasakamraterna   	30  	17  	5    	8    	45  	31  	14  	56
Storängens IF    	30  	14  	11  	5    	58  	41  	17  	53
Nokkeby BK     	        30  	13  	7    	10  	43  	42  	1    	46
Norrholmia IK   	30  	13  	4    	13  	44  	44  	0    	43
IFK Nordst.             30  	12  	6    	12  	42  	37  	5    	42
IFK Segeltorp    	30  	12  	5    	13  	58  	56  	2    	41
Kejm BK 	    	30    	13  	2    	15  	46  	44  	2    	41
Briskeby BK     	30  	11  	8    	11  	55  	55  	0    	41
IFK Nesby               30  	13  	2    	15  	42  	48  	-6  	41
Allmänna Gr. IF	        30  	12  	5    	13  	42  	50  	-8  	41
IFK Hagen               30  	10  	10  	10  	46  	45  	1    	40
Lokom. Esaias   	30  	11  	7    	12  	44  	43  	1    	40
Finntorp IK             30  	12  	4    	14  	42  	48  	-6  	40
BK Rösunda              30  	11  	7    	12  	34  	40  	-6  	40
Dalströmma BK	        30  	9    	7    	14  	38  	43  	-5  	34
Grünerhagen VF	        30  	9    	6    	15  	43  	55  	-12 	33

Division 1 Season 50 final table

Friska Vilj. BK         30       	13       	10       	7         	47       	40       	7         	49
Haavika IK        	30       	13       	9         	8         	43       	31       	12       	48
IFK Sørtangen 	        30       	12       	9         	9         	44       	37       	7         	45
AIK Esaias       	30       	9         	15       	6         	48       	39       	9         	42
AIK Vasa          	30       	10       	12       	8         	47       	40       	7         	42
Fjällstrand. BK 	30       	12       	6         	12       	46       	47       	-1        	42
Grönland BK    	        30       	10       	12       	8         	39       	40       	-1        	42
Ängby IF            	30       	12       	6         	12       	39       	43       	-4        	42
AIK Nesby        	30       	9         	14       	7         	48       	42       	6         	41
Welmia IF         	30       	11       	8         	11       	45       	49       	-4        	41
Haga BK                 30              11       	7         	12       	49       	55       	-6        	40
AIK Ursvika      	30       	10       	9         	11       	47       	47       	0         	39
Njaard IF           	30       	9         	8         	13       	43       	47       	-4        	35
Gressbakken BK          30       	9         	7         	14       	36       	42       	-6        	34
Vengerberg BK	        30       	8         	8         	14       	33       	43       	-10      	32
IFK Frisk           	30       	8         	8         	14       	46       	58       	-12      	32

Allngnejsan All-time Winners

Edition Winner
1          	Briskeby BK
2          	Briskeby BK
3          	Storängens IF
4          	Storängens IF
5          	IFK Hagen
6          	Briskeby BK
7          	Storängens IF
8          	Storängens IF
9          	Briskeby BK
10        	IFK Segeltorp
11        	Briskeby BK
12        	IFK Segeltorp
13        	Storängens IF
14        	Storängens IF
15        	Storängens IF
16        	IFK Hagen
17        	Storängens IF
18        	Briskeby BK
19        	Briskeby BK
20        	Kejm BK
21        	Kejm BK
22        	IFK Segeltorp
23        	Finntorp IK
24        	Kejm BK
25        	IFK Segeltorp
26        	Storängens IF
27        	AIK Vasa
28        	Kejm BK
29        	Finntorp IK
30        	Dalströmma IK
31        	AIK Vasa
32        	Storängens IF
33        	IFK Segeltorp
34        	Dalströmma IK
35        	Briskeby BK
36        	IFK Sørtangen
37        	Norrholmia IK
38        	IFK Segeltorp
39        	IFK Segeltorp
40        	Storängens IF
41        	IFK Segeltorp
42        	Briskeby BK
43        	Kejm BK
44        	Lokomotiv Esaias
45        	IFK Nesby
46        	Lokomotiv Esaias
47        	Allmänna Gränd IF
48        	IFK Nesby
49        	Lokomotiv Esaias
50        	Allmänna Gränd IF
51        	Allmänna Gränd IF
52        	Lokomotiv Esaias
53        	Allmänna Gränd IF
54        	Briskeby BK
55        	Briskeby BK
56        	Briskeby BK
57        	Kejm BK
58        	Briskeby BK
59        	Kejm BK
60        	Kejm BK
61        	Kejm BK
62        	Kejm BK
63        	Briskeby BK
64        	Finntorp IK
65        	Finntorp IK
66        	Finntorp IK
67        	Finntorp IK
68        	Finntorp IK
69        	Storängens IF
70        	Finntorp IK
71        	Finntorp IK
72        	IFK Nordstiernan
73        	Allmänna Gränd IF
74        	IFK Hagen
75        	IFK Hagen
76        	IFK Nordstiernan
77        	Kejm BK
78        	IFK Nordstiernan
79        	IFK Nordstiernan
80        	Grünerhagen VF
81        	IFK Segeltorp
82        	IFK Segeltorp
83        	IFK Hagen
84        	Kejm BK
85        	Briskeby BK
86        	IFK Segeltorp
87        	Lokomotiv Esaias
88        	Briskeby BK
89        	Briskeby BK
90        	Grünerhagen VF
91        	Kejm BK
92        	Kejm BK
93        	Briskeby BK
94        	Briskeby BK
95        	Kejm BK
96        	IFK Segeltorp
97        	Kejm BK
98        	Kejm BK
99        	Briskeby BK
100     	Briskeby BK
101     	Vasakamraterna

by **Xanneria** » Sat Dec 09, 2023 12:25 pm

Whose National Team is it Anyways?
Where everything's made up and the goal doesn't matter!

HOST: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL it's Shawna Isley
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL it's Italo D'Arcy
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL it's Jamal Akron
and VAR Dissalowed it's Evan Jefferson Jr!

Come on down let's roleplay some sports!

HOST: Welcome to Whose National Team is it Anyways? the show where everything's made up and the scores don't mater, that's right the scores don't matter, thats right the points are just like being pot 4 in the cup of Harmony! Anyways let's start off with a game called SUPER HEROES! In this game we need a fake Superhero name for Jamal, he'll then give a name for Evan who then gives a nickname for Shawna and Shawna will then give a nickname to Italo. Now we need a name for Jamal to go as!

UKELELE MAN....

GOAL SCORE MAN....

PENELTY KICK MAN...

HOST: Penelty kick man it is! What would be a good crisis for Penalty Kick Man?

POST FOOTBALL!

HOST: I Heard Post Football! Ok Penelty Kick man, there's post football! What ya gonna do!

JAMAL: KA BUNK! Kicking Motion*

KA BUNK! Kicking Motion*

KA BUNK! Kicking Motion*

KA BUNK! Kicking Motion*

Man I need to stop using large rocks to practice penalty kicks with, it's starting to wear out my ankles.

Great Leaping Ocelots named Greg! There's post football in the world! Now I'll have to wait 120 minutes before taking any penalty kicks! I hope my super friends arrive soon!

EVAN *Ding Dong!* Walks in

JAMAL KA BUNK! Kicking Motion*

EVAN catching ball motion

Hey I think this belongs to you!

JAMAL Thank God you're here to help us out Angry Assistant Coach Man!

EVAN DAMN YOU CALL THAT A PENELTY KICK! I bet old man Amos could kick a ball further than you and I played under back at East End!

JAMAL We Have trouble! There's post football all over, and it's not just in Destin, Angry Coach man!

EVAN Well if you don't keep practicing penalty kicks you'll be in your Post career soon!

SHAWNA Jumps in to the scene landing on Jamals foot

I got here as soon as a could!

JAMAL glad that wasn't my plant foot!

EVAN I'm glad your here, Cassadaigan Stereotype Lady!

SHAWNA hehehehehe hehehe teeheehehe Long live the queen!

heehee I like Pink!

heehee teeheehee!

ITALO Sorry I'm late I fell asleep watching a Ko-oren intersqaud match!

SHAWNA Thank God your here! Narcolaeptic Goalkeeper Man!

JAMAL KICKING MOTION

ITALO Faints

oh..oh....Um Post Football? uh I uh....Faints

Uh...Gets up and walks out

SHAWNA I think we should paint the scoreboard pink! teeheee and it will distract them enough for us to score a goal! teeheeeheee Walks Off

EVAN GAAH! AAAAAAAAH I'M SO ANGRY! I'M GONNA SORM OFF LIKE THAT ONE SOUTHWEST EASTNORTH COACH! Walks off shaking fist

JAMAL alright let's see if that works Penelty kick motion Yes! an actual goal! Crisis Solved!

HOST: BZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZ!

XANNERIA - 2
Burns 50'
Akron 83' (pk)

PASARGA - 1
Salai 74'

by **Juvencus** » Sat Dec 09, 2023 2:40 pm

FOOTBALL HAS WON, BUT AT WHAT COST? TAKEAWAYS FROM THE GAME AGAINST AUDIOSLAVIA

The first matchday of Cup of Harmony resembled less of the dance it was named to be and resembled more an agitating state of affairs, especially refereeing-wise, with la squadra barely scraping through

Pomenienze vs Kontrapuntzeka: One on hand you have total football, fluidity in positioning, attacking and technically-focused football, Pomenienze in its finest form. On the other, you have something that just does not cut it, but somehow works wonders. In the last two meetups, while Juvencus has emerged victorious, only one of the styles prevailed on the pitch. In the previous meetup on the 3rd-place playoffs of the Cup of Harmony 84, Pomenienze and total football manifested themselves on the pitch, constant counter-attacks and high-tempo football and of course GOALS, prevailed. Juvencus would win 4-2. While those traits remained for the meetup all those years later, goals would not be the feature that would stand out this time, as a solo Audiol goal would do the trick but neither side would be converting its chances. Besides that, there was more to the game than meets the eye with plain statistics.

Jim Philipps, refereeing's finest... at not making the right calls: Surely one would expect the man of the match to be a player from either Juven or Audioslavian side. One would expect talents such as Audiol or Garcia from Juvencus, or Pelle and Tibère from Audioslavia to shine the most in such an affair, right? The answer is a resounding NO. While all those players exhausted their resources completely and played nearly perfectly, with Audiol scoring the only goal of the game and getting the "man of the match" award for it the real man of the match was Jim Philipps, a referee from Xanneria. One's familiarity with the Audioslavian game is that it is a game of deception, meaning Audioslavians can do anything and everything to turn a game around. A referee such as Jim Philipps is exactly the type of referee to take an advantadge of in their eyes. Meanwhile, for a hot-headed Juven, this type of referee is the exact source of frustration. There were numerous moments on which the Xannerian official screwed up against both sides.

There is a summary of the most royal screw ups of the game.

In the first half, a cross would find Audiol's head and Hélder's hands in a meet up, a clear penalty. Jim Philipps' decision? Give the advantadge... to Audioslavia. Thankfully Chimo Quaranta would send it wide before it managed to escalate. Callejon, Stafylidi, Cino all gathered up around Jim Philipps urging him to go to the VAR. He would eventually go to check and still not call the penalty. Not too long after, a clear tackle by Stafylidi to Roy would see the latter fake a drop and this resulted in an instant yellow card for the Real Club de Yates defender. This led to even more protesting by the Juven players which led to a yellow card for Bardhyl Imeri as well. That is not to say that the Juven were the only ones screwed, in the second half, a clear push by Callejon to Lúnquerque inside the box was also never called and Stafylidi would clear out the ball. The Audioslavians would instantly gather around the referee, but Callejon and Lúnquerque would end up in a fight of words which led to both of them fuming and also in the clear, surprisingly.

All in all, disgraceful refereeing by Jim Philipps, as there were more minor decisions that kept both teams agitated as well as violated the tempo of the game. With 2 rightful penalties missed, the score would have been way different if it weren't for the referee's shambolic decisionmaking. He was booed out of the stadium by Juven and Audioslavian fans alike after the game.

Audiol, a superstar who was not meant to be: Audiol was never treated with the respect he deserved until recently. Excellent performances with Kirkenes and especially more recently with Serrapince have given him that edge over Campana. To make up for it, he has scored in most matches he has played in and has been a talisman for the team's super offensive style. The game against Audioslavia was no different, a simple tap-in in the 15th minute was the only goal needed to keep the team up for the rest of the game. While for the rest of it he remained an imposing and menacing player, pressuring at all the right times and from all the right angles. Serrapince is glad to have splashed cash for him but la squadra is glad that he is one of them as a birthright. To think he was not even meant to be in this position even 4 years ago is considered absurd nowadays, the performance against Audioslavia has proven he is going to be needed for a long time.

Curse lifted?: Struggling to pick victories against higher-ranked teams had been a theme all cycle long. From completely getting annihilated by Delte to that last-minute heartbreaker against Banija, la squadra had only beaten teams lower-ranked than themselves. Basically teams that they were supposed to beat on paper. However, defeating Audioslavia is bringing sparks of hope, particularly a short-term curse being lifted again by defeating someone they were not supposed to. If the form is kept against Carpathia and Ruthenia & Acastanha, we could even make talks of yet another run in this competition. For now on, neither Madeiros nor gli attaccanti have made any comments of their victory against Audioslavia or their run in the Cup of Harmony, which should be an expertly orchistrated move by the Poi-speaking manager himself.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Dec 09, 2023 7:13 pm

“And we do these for every nation” asked Jeremy, scrolling absent-mindedly through his phone.
“They’re automatically generated” said Daffodil, mid-stretch, making a decent effort of trying to stifle a yawn but not doing it particularly well.
“So you could pull up a couple more, if I asked”
“Of course” said Daffodil.
“Show me… er… I dunno. Show me all the teams from the BoF”
“Sure” said Daffodil. “Let’s just say I’ve just done that and you’ve seen them and there’s no reason to show them to, say, a third person onlooker”
“Oh wow this information is really cool. And it’s just put together automatically? By an algorithm?”
“Yeah, that’s the great part” said Daffodil. “I mean imagine doing this shit by hand, it’d take fuckin forever”
“You reckon it’ll take off? People will be getting excited for The Idiot Project: Unwrapped every Christmas?”
“Oh ICly, totally” said Daffodil.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“4th highest Goals Per Game of the last Forum Year” said Jeremy. “It’s a wonder we kept them to one goal”
“You reckon you guys are going to.. y’know. Actually win a game?” Said Daffodil.
“I stopped trying to reckon on what the Bulls are trying to do a long time ago” said Jeremy. “I’m just along for the ride in increasingly absurd yet crushingly familiar situations”
“Mood” said Daffodil.

* the picture of the fortress is AI-generated and lightly edited to remove a second set of goalposts that were on the halfway line for some reason

by **Acastanha** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:01 am

On Keise Referendum

Kierahan government officially announce the date of Keise Islands self-determination referendum. The decision made to implement their commitment addressed at Bandar Raja Treaty which ended Kolanos Gulf War. In light with the announcement, Acastanha government stated that they will send representatives to Keise Islands to observe the referendum process. "Acastanhada observers will consist of several government elements such as from Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Law and Human Rights and also from Acastanda Election Commission," informed spokesperson to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. On the other hand, private institutions also express their willingness to join the delegation as a neutral party. The institutions are mostly independent surveyor institutes.

The announcement of the referendum date is celebrated by the people of Keise Islands. This is what they are fighting for. "Can't express myself. Happy, joy, nervous, hopes. All the feelings come at once. I can only hope that the referendum will run smoothly and peacefully," said one of Keisean people. The condition in the islands is still a mess. Renovation and rebuilding of the damage cities and towns are still underway. The capital, Tual, still full of debris here and there. But at least the referendum gives hope to the people of a better future for them. Peacekeeping forces are continued to guard the islands while supervising the rebuilding projects. Aid still coming from neighboring countries.

While today, Acastanhada General, Nóe Kashindar, announced the end of Acastanhada military deployment. The nation's DEFCON is reset back to level 5. All of the safety measure of the area is given fully to the peacekeeping forces. Although Acastanhada military is always ready to support and supervise the peacekeeping forces.

Back home, people of Ketampi are still waiting for their statehood referendum date to be announce. "We hope the central government remember of their commitment to us and not only thinking about people outside our country," said the spokesperson to Ketampi Governor. The spokesperson criticizes the fast response of the government after the announcement of Keisean referendum by Kierahan government. But it took them longer time to decides the date for Ketampi referendum. "Don't disappoint us," remind the spokesperson. While no comment has been released by Acastanhada central government or Palidas government. This situation gives a continued bad image towards the current government. Does the government really ignore their own people?

by **Cassadaigua** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:08 am

Fillies get off on the right foot,
by Caitlyn Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Corner Offices. It sounds like something that only exists in office buildings throughout the nation and across the world, but in Delaclava, it is what the southwest corner of the Mainframe is referenced as. You can read up on more of what that is all about on your time (which you should by the way because the whole backstory of the Mainframe is very interesting), but for now, this business district represented the home of the Cassadagan national team, and where fans of the nation would have to travel, instead of Chromatika or Sylestone. Have no fear, though, because the games of our group would be played at stadiums that each have a capacity of 340,000. I doubt there’s anything in World Cup 95A that is as large as these stadiums and the other stadiums that are hosting games within World Cup 95B.

The largest stadiums in Cassadaigua do not get into the six digits, so I have to wonder what things would be like here if we did have such massive facilities. They can make it work in Delaclava and in the other nations where we see such massive stadiums, but I wondered what would happen if someone ever proposed such a massive facility. Perhaps, it could be done in the Northern Territory, as we are growing multiple metropolitan areas throughout that area. It could be on the Highway 11 corridor, but I would understand that such an undertaking would become such an obvious target for The River Republic. So, let’s say that for whatever reason in a major city like Concord Heights or New Lakeland, they decided to construct a 300,000+ seat facility. I asked Lauren Fogarty, one of the vice presidents of Dagan Airways Stadium what she would think that would be like. Her response was, “The biggest issue with such a large stadium is sightlines. You look at Dagan Airways Stadium, or the other large stadiums that we have, and if you are in the upper rows of those facilities, you’re mainly relying on the jumbotrons to truly see what is going on while soaking the experience and trying to follow the action from your seats. Those seats would only be a third of the way up, figuratively, from where the highest seats of The Palace on The Corner are. Is it worth it? If you’re going for the experience, sure. If you’re going there to try and watch the game, maybe not as much. Of course, I am talking about how such a stadium would be like here. They have a system in place within Delaclava to make It work or else they would not have so many similarly sized venues.” Fogarty went on to add, “now let’s talk about parking and getting in and out of the stadium. That’s something that will take much longer and you will have to have so much more capacity for everyone’s vehicle. You can only encourage mass transit to a point. Most people will still choose to drive in. So, that too, would be a headache for many.”

Others I spoke said a large stadium wouldn’t work in Cassadaigua for other reasons. Amy Padbourne, a professor at the New Lakeland School of Business, told me, “You’re not going to fill these places up on most days. You’ll do so when a major tournament is in town, but when New Lakeland SC plays Longwood? Not going to happen. A lot of empty seats at a stadium ruins a lot of the experience. If you get 100,000 for that game, you’re at 33% capacity if it’s a 300,000 seater. Chances are, you’re also giving tickets away for way too cheap.” Padbourne also stated, “Sold out stadiums at 90,000 can get real loud. 90,000 full with a 300,000 seater, and a lot of that noise gets swallowed up by all of the empty seats. I really hope that we don’t have any such stadiums built of that size in Cassadaigua. Kudos to Delaclava for making it work, but it would not work here.”

The always outspoken Lexi McGregor gave us the player’s side of it, “Yea, you certainly notice how large the place is. It’s a beautiful stadium and will be rocking when our games get underway. Do they fill this place up all of the time? I hope that they do. Do I want to see such a thing in Starksville? Probably not.” McGregor and the rest of the team were otherwise focused on the game, knowing that this so-called Cup of Harmony group is World Cup worthy. Captain Madison Rutland says of that group, “This is why we are calling it World Cup 95B. Tiffany (Brown) got us started with that, and it could not be any more true. We’ve even covered some of the Cup of Harmony posters that we here by default when we are using the locker room. For us, we’re not even thinking about that. This group is a World Cup group, and thus that is our approach.”

People that do the rankings claim that the Fillies first matchday opponent, Polar Islandstates, is the 93rd best team in the world. Which, of course, is ridiculous as they a former World Cup champion. Champion of a pretty special World Cup, we might add, since we co-hosted World Cup 67, and the Terns have done so much more even beyond that title. They are ranked low because of a long hiatus, something that will always impact a ranking, so you can understand the mathematics that go in to determining that rank. But, what matters more, is that it is in their pedigree to be champions again, and you can never take a team like this lightly.

Polar Islandstates prefers a defensive system, and the efficiency of that was on display as they did a good job limiting the opportunities of our top forwards to be shots that Hans Aigner, the keeper for the Terns, would make routine saves on. For the first hour or so, you wouldn’t really point to any of his saves from being highlight reel caliber, and that is a credit to the defense in front of him. On the other end, Stacey Schalberg was not tested too much by the attack of the Polar Islandstates. When it happened, the Fillies defense was also up to the challenge, and more minutes ticked away with the scoreboard reading 0-0. Both teams made substitutions to try and get that goal, and it would be Chloe Anderson, who came on the 74th minute, getting the lone score of the match, coming just four minutes after being inserted into the game. The goal would up, giving the pink and black three more important points as two more games loom on the schedule.

Pasarga, who lost to Xanneria, will be the next opponent and obviously will be looking at the game as a must win.

by **Recuecn** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 8:40 am

A CoH-lie Brown Christmas

[The players of the Equipe Nationale de Reçueçn de Football are skating on a frozen pond as snowflakes fall. Franky ADAMS and Emanuele CUTRONA, striker and sweeper respectively, not to mention best friends, are leaving the house with their skates to head to the pond. ADAMS stops as they pass a low stone wall topped with snow, to gaze out at the falling flakes.

ADAMS: I think there must be something wrong with me, Emanuele. The Cup of Harmony is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I just don't understand the Cup of Harmony, I guess. I like playing soccer and writing roleplays, and earning KPB and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

CUTRONA: Franky Adams, you're the only person I know, who can take a wonderful season like the Cup of Harmony and turn it into a problem. Maybe Coach Relié is right. Of all the Franky Adams in the world, you're the Franky Adamsiest.

[Cut to the front of Franky ADAMS' house. He is standing in front of his mailbox.]

ADAMS: Hello in there.

[Echoes.]

ADAMS: Rats. Nobody sent me a Cup of Harmony invite today. I almost wish there weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?

[Paul SCHUTTLER walks past.]

ADAMS: Thanks for the Cup of Harmony invite you sent me, Paul.

SCHUTTLER: I didn't send you a Cup of Harmony invite, Franky Adams.

[SCHUTTLER exits left.]

ADAMS: Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

[Cut to a PSYCHIATRIC BOOTH--a cross between a lemonade stand and a psychiatrist's office. The signs read "Psychiatric help 5¢" and "The doctor is real in". A JAR OF NICKELS sits on the booth. The doctor is Bonheur RELIE. Franky ADAMS approaches the booth.]

RELIE: May I help you?

ADAMS: I'm in sad shape.

RELIE: Wait a minute. Before you begin, I must ask that you pay in advance. Five cents, please.

[ADAMS places a nickel in the jar. It rattles.]

RELIE: Boy, what a sound. How I love to hear that old money plink, that beautiful sound of cold, hard cash.

[RELIE rattles the jar, holding it up to his ear.]

RELI: That beautiful, beautiful sound. Nickels, nickels, nickels. That beautiful sound of plinking nickels. All right, now, what seems to be your trouble?

ADAMS: I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but I'm not.

RELIE: Well, as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far gone. I think we'd better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you're afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia.

ADAMS: I don't think that's quite it.

RELIE: How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia.

ADAMS: Well, sort of, but I'm not sure.

RELIE: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacophobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean. Or gephyrophobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?

ADAMS: What's pantophobia?

RELIE: The fear of everything.

ADAMS: [SHOUTING] That's it!

[RELIE somersaults backwards in surprise.]

ADAMS: Actually, Bonheur, my trouble is the Cup of Harmony. I just don't understand it. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down.

RELIE: You need involvement. You need to get involved in some real Cup of Harmony project. How would you like to be the director of our Cup of Harmony roleplay?

ADAMS: Me? You want me to be the director of the Cup of Harmony roleplay?

RELIE: Sure, Franky Adams. We need a director, you need involvement. We've got a shepherd, musicians, animals, everyone you need. We've even got a Cup of Harmony queen.

ADAMS: I don't know anything about directing a Cup of Harmony roleplay.

RELIE: Don't worry, I'll be there to help you. I'll meet you at the mainframe.

[The pair begin to walk toward the mainframe.]

RELIE: Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Cup of Harmony business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every cycle. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid roleplay opportunities, or a KPB boost, or clothes or something like that.

ADAMS: What is it you want?

RELIE: Real estate.

[Franky ADAMS heads home to get ready for the Cup of Harmony roleplay. He passes... SNOOPY? What's SNOOPY doing here? Isn't that a copyright character from Peanuts? Surely he shouldn't be in a Reçuecian CoH roleplay? Hang on, let me check my notes.]

ADAMS: What's going on here? What's this?

[SNOOPY is decorating his dog house. It's incredibly over-the-top. He hands ADAMS a newspaper.]

ADAMS: [READING] "Find the true meaning of the Cup of Harmony. Win KPB, KPB, KPB. Spectacular, super-colossal, neighborhood Cup of Harmony-writing-and-roleplay contest." Writing-and-roleplay contest? Oh, no. My own dog gone commercial. I can't stand it.

[ADAMS leaves. He is approached by Laurent LAPIX, who... hang on, LAPIX is ADAMS' little sister? He is wearing a blue skirt and a bow in his hair. What is going on.]

LAPIX: Oh... I've been looking for you, big brother. Will you please write a letter to Maggie Claus for me?

ADAMS: Well, I don't have much time. I'm supposed to get down to the mainframe and direct a Cup of Harmony roleplay.

LAPIX: You write it, and I'll tell you what I want to say.

ADAMS: Okay, shoot.

LAPIX: Dear Margaret, how have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have sacrificed extra rubber chickens this year, so I have a long list of results that I want.

ADAMS: Oh, brother.

LAPIX: Please note the scoreline and matchday of each result and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: Just give me KPB points. How about 10s and 20s?

ADAMS: Tens and 20s? Oh... Even my baby sister.

LAPIX: All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING. The players of the Equipe Nationale de Reçueçn de Football have gathered at the mainframe for the Cup of Harmony roleplay.]

RELIE: All right, quiet, everybody. Our director will be here any minute and we'll start rehearsal.

SPENCER: Director? What director?

RELIE: Franky Adams.

LEBO: Oh, no, we're doomed.

SPENCER: This will be the worst Cup of Harmony roleplay ever.

RELIE: Here he comes.

[ADAMS enters.]

RELIE: Attention, everyone, here's our director.

[APPLAUDING]

SNOOPY: Booooooo.

ADAMS: Man's best friend. Well, it's real good seeing y'all here. As you know, we are going to put on a Cup of Harmony roleplay. Due to the shortage of time, we'll get right down to work. One of the first things to insure a good performance is strict attention to the director. I'll keep my directions simple. If I point to the right, it means focus attention stage right. If I make a slashing motion across my throat, it means cut the scene short; you've probably already lost the RP grader's interest. If I make a revolving motion with my hand, it means pick up the tempo. If I spread my hands apart, it means slow down, waste some space, write a match report or something.

[The players begin to dance as the music picks up again.]

ADAMS: It's the spirit of the players that counts, the interest that they show in their director. Am I right? I said, am I right?

[The players are lost in the music as they begin to dance. ADAMS watches in frustration. This does not match his vision for the roleplay.]

[PLAYING VINCE GUARALDI'S "LINUS & LUCY"]

ADAMS: Stop the music! All right, now. We're going to do this roleplay, and we're going to do it right. Relié, get those costumes and scripts and pass them out. [TO EVERYONE] Now, the script girl will be handing out your parts.

RELIE: [TO DE CHEFDERUE] You're the referee's wife.

DE CHEFDERUE: Do referees' wives have naturally curly hair?

RELIE: Di MArtino, you're the referee.

DI MARTINO: In spite of my outward appearance, I shall try to run a fair game.

RELIE: De Bethencourt, you're a roleplayer.

DE BETHENCOURT: Every Cup of Harmony it's the same. I always end up playing a roleplayer.

RELIE: Snoopy, you'll have to be all the animals in our roleplay. Can you be a drawk?

SNOOPY: Roar.

RELIE: How about a bull?

SNOOPY: Moo.

RELIE: How about a tern?

[SNOOPY imitates a tern.]

RELIE: Yes, he's even a good tern.

[SNOOPY howls.]

RELIE: No, no, no. Listen, all of you. You've got to take direction.

[RELIE speaking and SNOOPY mouthing]

RELIE: You've got to have discipline. You've gotta have respect for your director.

[RELIE notices SNOOPY imitating him.]

RELIE: I oughta slug you.

[SNOOPY licks RELIE.]

RELIE: Ugh. I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get hot water, get some disinfectant, get some iodine!

SNOOPY: Waaah.

ADAMS: All right, all right, script girl, continue with the scripts.

RELIE: Emanuele, you've got to get rid of that stupid blanket. And here, memorize these lines.

CUTRONA: I can't memorize these lines. This is ridiculous.

RELIE: Memorize it and be ready to recite when your cue comes.

CUTRONA: I can't memorize something like this so quickly. Why should I be put through such agony? Give me one good reason why I should memorize this.

RELIE: I'll give you five good reasons: one, two three, four, five!

[RELIE puts down his fingers one at a time, making a fist]

CUTRONA: Those are good reasons. [ASIDE] The Cup of Harmony is not only getting too commercial... it's getting too dangerous.

RELIE: And get rid of that stupid blanket. What's a Cup of Harmony roleplayer gonna look like holding a stupid blanket like that?

CUTRONA: Well, this is one Cup of Harmony roleplayer who's going to keep his trusty blanket with him.

[RELIE makes a fist to hit CUTRONA again, but CUTRONA quickly folds his blanket into soccer jersey.]

CUTRONA: See? You wouldn't hit an innocent roleplayer, would you?

RELIE: [TO ADAMS] Okay, Mr. Director, the cast is set. Take over.

ADAMS: All right, let's have it quiet. Places, everybody. Agidius, set the mood for first scene.

[HEISSLER begins to play his piano and the players start dancing again.]

RELIE: [CHEERFUL, SNAPPING FINGERS] Franky Adams, isn't it a great roleplay?

ADAMS: That does it. [THROWS DIRECTOR'S MEGAPHONE]

ADAMS: Now, look, if we're ever to get this roleplay off the ground, we've gotta have some cooperation.

RELIE: What's the matter, Franky Adams? Don't you think it's great?

ADAMS: It's all wrong.

RELIE: [CONSPIRATORIALLY] Look, Franky, let's face it. We all know that the Cup of Harmony is a big commercial racket. [WHISPERS] It's run by EWCC, you know.

ADAMS: Well, this is one roleplay that's not gonna be commercial.

RELIE: Look, Franky Adams, what do you want?

ADAMS: The proper mood.

RELIE: We need a graphic--hey, perhaps a graphic! A great big, shiny, Idiot Project graphic. That's it, Franky Adams. You get the graphic. I'll handle this crowd.

ADAMS: Okay. I'll take Emanuele with me. The rest of you practice your lines.

RELIE: Get the biggest Idiot Project graphic you can find, Franky Adams, maybe animated, with "Ain't no Sunshine" playing in the background.

SPENCER: Yeah, do something right for a change, Franky Adams.

[ADAMS and CUTRONA are on there way to the graphic LOT.]

ADAMS: I don't know, Emanuele. I just don't know. Well, I guess we'd better concentrate on finding a nice graphic.

CUTRONA: I suggest we try those searchlights, Franky Adams.

[The LOT is full of graphics of all kinds: AI-generated images, pictures found online, detailed graphs displaying decades' worth of data. CUTRONA knocks on the side of one.]

[HOLLOW METAL ECHOING]

CUTRONA: This really brings the Cup of Harmony close to a person.

ADAMS: [SARCASTIC] Fantastic.

[They continue through the LOT, until they find a lonely PISball COMIC. It's missing a lot of pixels and the photobucket link is no longer working.]

CUTRONA: Gee, do they still make hand-drawn graphics?

ADAMS: This little cartoon here seems to need a home.

CUTRONA: I don't know, Franky Adams. Remember what Relié said? This doesn't seem to fit the modern spirit.

ADAMS: I don't care. We'll decorate it, and it'll be just right for our roleplay. Besides, I think it needs me.

[ADAMS picks up the COMIC. Most of the remaining pixels fall into the snow. ADAMS shrugs it off and takes it with him.]

[Back at the mainframe, HEISSLER is sitting at a miniature piano while RELIE leans against the other end of it.]

HEISSLER: This is the music I've selected for the Cup of Harmony roleplay.

[PLAYING "AIN'T NO SUNSHINE"]

RELIE: What kind of Cup of Harmony music is that?

HEISSLER: Jaffacake Cup of Harmony music.

RELIE: What has Jaffacake got to do with the Cup of Harmony? Everyone talks about how great Jaffacake is. Jaffacake isn't so great.

HEISSLER: What do you mean, Jaffacake wasn't so great?

RELIE: He never got his picture on bubble-gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble-gum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble-gum cards?

HEISSLER: Good grief.

[ADAMS and CUTRONA return to the mainframe.]

ADAMS: We're back.

SPENCER: Boy, are you stupid, Franky Adams.

LEBO: What kind of a graphic is that?

RELIE: You were supposed to get a good graphic. Can't you even tell a good graphic from a poor graphic?

SPENCER: I told you he'd goof it up.

LEBO: He's not the kind you can depend on to do anything right.

BOURGUIGNON: You're hopeless, Franky Adams.

TEGELER: Completely hopeless.

ADAMS: Rats.

RELIE: You've been dumb before, Franky Adams, but this time you really did it. What a graphic.

[ALL LAUGHING]

ADAMS: I guess you were right, Emanuele. I shouldn't have picked this little graphic. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what the Cup of Harmony is all about. [YELLING] Isn't there anyone, who knows what the Cup of Harmony is all about?

CUTRONA: Sure, Franky Adams. I can tell you what the Cup of Harmony is all about. Lights, please.

[CUTRONA takes center stage and begins to recite as the lights around him dim.]

CUTRONA: And there were in the same country roleplayers abiding in the field, keeping watch over their xkoranate results by night. And, lo, the angel of Margaret came upon them, and the glory of Margaret shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them: "Fear not, for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, in the city of Tanah Burung, a savior, which is the Cup of Harmony. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the tournament wrapped in a sense of disappointment that you didn't make it to the World Cup, lying in a manger." And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of rubber chickens, praising Margaret and saying: "Glory to Margaret in the highest, and in NSS, peace, collaborative storytelling, and goodwill toward men."

[CUTRONA steps out of the spotlight and walks back over to ADAMS.]

CUTRONA: That's what the Cup of Harmony is all about, Franky Adams.

[ADAMS leaves the mainframe. He takes the COMIC with him, and stops on the way home to gaze at the stars as CUTRONA's recitation echoes in his mind. Upon getting to his house, he finds SNOOPY's doghouse. A large blue ribbon has been added to the decorations.]

ADAMS: First prize? Oh, well. This commercial dog is not going to ruin my Cup of Harmony.

[ADAMS sets the COMIC in the snow and removes some of the decorations from SNOOPY's doghouse to add to it. The very first one he adds throws an error: "It was not possible to determine the dimensions of the image. Make sure the URL you entered is correct."]

ADAMS: AAUGH! I've killed it! Oh, everything I touch gets ruined.

[ADAMS leaves. A moment later, the ENRF players, led by CUTRONA, arrive at the doghouse. CUTRONA notices the broken graphic.]

CUTRONA: I never thought it was such a bad little graphic.

[CUTRONA props up the graphic with his blanket.]

CUTRONA: It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

[The players take the rest of the decorations from the doghouse and add them to the graphic. When they step away, it has become a multi-part youtube documentary.]

RELIE: Franky Adams is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.

[The players begin to hum a song. ADAMS, hearing something, returns. He is shocked to see that his graphic is now beautiful and strong.]

ALL: Merry Cup of Harmony, Franky Adams!

[CREDITS ROLL AS ALL SING "HARK THE HERALD MARGARET SINGS"]

by **Kandorith** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 11:22 am

Hikari Kyoyu

Illuminating Today

Cup of Harmony

Spotlight: Kaya Michiyu, Behind The Manager
by Natsumi Miyasaki | Sports - Football |

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While failing to qualify for World Cup 95 after a series of disappointing results, the Kandorese national football team can still shine at the Cup of Harmony. They have already shown themselves in the match against the highest-ranked team in Group B: Squornshelan Remnant States, ranked 21st, ending the match with a 1-1 draw.

As Kandorith prepares for the upcoming matches, we try to take a look inside the strategic mind of the head manager. Today, we welcome Kaya Michiyu for some insight and perhaps to unravel some of the mystery surrounding them.

Michiyu: Thank you, I do not think there is any mystery surrounding me at all, as I see myself as a quite straightforward person. I just like the game of football and prefer to be the grand orchestrator rather than a field player, which I found out when I was younger.

–-The first match was against Squornshelan Remnant States, a side Kandorith has faced before and is the top-ranked team in the group. How do you feel about the 1-1 draw?

Michiyu: Of course, I would have hoped for more, but the Remnant States are, of course, a tough team with which we had some experience. Sadly, the match was not a repeat of the first meeting at the World Cup 90 Qualifiers, where we beat them 2-0, I believe? But it was rather a repeat of the second match against them which also ended in a 1-1 draw. In all honesty, the team played very well and I am proud of how they performed. A draw was on my mind before the match and what I hoped for during the match.

–-What would you say are the key takeaways from this match for both you and the team?

Michiyu: The key is the importance of resilience, I’d say. We were up against a team that was looking to secure the win and we were pushed into a defensive posture. While this is not the ideal position to be in, it worked out for us and the team did not let themselves be intimidated by the effective Remnant States’ play. We stuck to the game plan, played to our strengths and advantages, and managed to hold on to our draw. It was a valuable lesson and maybe next time in a comparable situation we can get a late-match win.

–-Great words, looking ahead: the next match is against City of Myrtle Beach. How are you preparing for this match and what is the expectation?

Michiyu: We are preparing carefully. As you know, Kandorith has a history of struggling with lower-ranked teams but we don’t let that catch us off guard. No, in all seriousness, any team is of course a force to be reckoned with and we do not think that any team will be or should be an easy win. I have studied their game against Cap Nord as much as possible to see where their weaknesses and their strengths are and we will adapt our tactics accordingly. I mean, they performed very well against Cap Nord and are an excellent team. We cannot allow ourselves to let down our defences in the upcoming game. The aim is to win the game no matter the scoreline.

–-Following the match against Myrtle Beach, we will play the game against Cap Nord who are ranked 51st. What are your thoughts on this upcoming game?

Michiyu: Cap Nord is one of those teams which really impressed me during the Qualifiers for the World Cup. They were in a group with Abanhfleft and Grai… Graintfl? How do you pronounce that again? Graintfall? Anyway, I believe they closed their qualifiers in 4th place of a tough and well-contested group and had some impressive scorelines. They surely have a want for goal scoring and this is what we should be careful about. I do think, however, that we are well prepared for both matches and can step onto the field with confidence and give our best performance.

–-Now comes the important question, you are deemed legendary by a lot of fans around Kandorith. What is your secret?

Michiyu: Hehehe, my secret is that I was sent by Manayomi herself to lead Kandorith to glory in sports! No, no, I am kidding. I think my “secret” is a balanced approach to coaching and managing. I do not believe in extreme punishment or berating players for bad performances or missed opportunities. I believe in talking with players even on a personal level. Football is not only about tactics and just kicking a ball around; it is also about mental games and prowess. My players know they can come to me with anything that is on their minds, even about their daily lives. If they need some time off, I will most likely give them that to sort things out. I strive for a positive and supportive environment where all players can grow and excel in their own game. Next to that, I strive towards complete unity and trust towards one another.

–-What is your most memorable moment in sports, and why is it the Cup of Harmony 77 win?

Michiyu: Surprisingly, it’s not. I think my most memorable moment was either being called to lead the Kandorese national team or maybe the quarter-finals during World Cup 89. I mean, managing the national team is a huge honour that many people would like to do and I have always been considered a bit of an outsider in the Kandorese sporting world, some even call me unorthodox or even weird. So yes, I think it has to be being appointed as manager for Kandorith.

–-I have two more questions for you which are not about football at all, tell me who is the person behind the name? Do you have any hobbies, a favourite band, favourite food? Anything as there are quite some fans on social media who speculate about these things and can you strike down all the, sometimes, weird rumours?

Michiyu: Well, I am a straightforward person: I do not really have any favourite food but would never say no to a bowl of ramen or even a good steak, oh and caramel. I don’t have hobbies other than model building, mostly old vessels of war, and reading all kinds of books. Come to think of it, I am quite boring. Now music is difficult, I like a lot of music and do not have a favourite but there are some groups and artists which stand out to me. I’d have to say my current favourite music would be either Gents With An Agenda or Razzle-Dazzle, I think both are excellent in their unique styles.

–-Very distinguished choices of music there, now one last question: politics? You of course read the news too and have heard the current happenings and worries of the Kandorese political landscape, do you have any thoughts on it?

Michiyu: You know, I do not really follow politics all that much. I vote for what I think is best for me, the people around me, and the nation as a whole and don’t think about it until the next election. Of course, it’s scandalous how the past few months have gone and I have great respect for Murakami deciding to step down but, good riddance. I have to drive past the Imperial Delegate Building almost every day and there is always a huge traffic jam there because of the merging expressways. Whenever I am stuck in that obstruction, I tend to roll down my window, look at the parliamentary building and laugh at them. They don’t know what they are doing, nor am I saying I could do a better job, but without a job, our parliamentary members are the greatest comedians this country has to offer.

–-Thank you so very much for your valuable time and thanks to our readers on Sync who have suggested questions for this interview. The Kandorese national football team is readying themselves for their upcoming matches and will be expected to create another grand performance under the guiding and strategic mind of Kaya Michiyu in the current Cup of Harmony with the next match being against City of Myrtle Beach.

Kandorith

The Fall of Murakami, as It Happened
by Kei Yamamoto | Politics |

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December 1, a cold and snowy day in Tenkyo which would soon be the stage of the end of one of the most stable governments post-war Kandorith has had, the LDP led by Prime Minister Yoshiro Murakami announced a press conference at 15:00 hours, sparking rumours. At 15:10 it was now clear that Murakami would resign as Prime Minister of Kandorith and parliament had indeed; been dissolved. What happened in the days before the decision of Murakami and did the Empress, or other political powers play a role in the events that rocked Kandorese politics this year?

The CDP Crisis

While the LDP was in damage control concerning the war against Meiyi, which has been losing popular support ever since the second phase of the conflict started, the CDP had a complete meltdown in a crisis of its own. A series of financial scandals had already severely damaged the reputation of the once second-largest party of Kandorith. Two more scandals came to light in recent weeks. Public support had already waned after it became clear that the leader of the party, Norio Nakazawa, had embezzled party funds and public funds to live a rich and decadent lifestyle, financing many of their luxurious parties and hosting esteemed worldwide guests. A scandal surrounding the vice president of the CDP, Hiroshi Takahashi, would be the final nail in the coffin for the CDP’s position.

Hiroshi Takahashi became the centre of attention in late November when it became clear that they were involved in a large-scale breach of Kandorese digital security networks and were accused of stealing confidential and sensitive information. While this was enough to end Takahashi’s career on the spot, an investigation revealed that Takahashi was involved in large-scale trafficking and distribution of the data. This led to their expulsion from parliament and, after refusing to take any responsibility, the arrest of Hiroshi Takahashi.

The Meiyi War and Its Ramping Costs

In an attempt to annex Kandorese waters and small islands, the Socialist Republic of Meiyi launched its assault in June last year. A swift Kandorese reaction followed, and Murakami signed the declaration of war on June 7. While Meiyi’s assault forces were quickly defeated, a second phase of the conflict was announced shortly after the liberation of Arasutsi, aiming to take the conflict to the Meiyi homeland. While public support to strike back at Meiyi was at an all-time high back then, the strikes and attempted assaults on Meiyi lands proved difficult and costly in both monetary value and lives. Currently, Kandorith does have a foothold in the southern parts of Meiyi, but a growing group of people are calling for the government to stop the conflict and return the Kandorese soldiers home.

Ever Growing Poverty

One of the staples of Murakami’s campaign was to end the total control of corporations over the housing market, price fixing, and monopoly positions. “Fighting Back Against Poverty” was one of Murakami’s main slogans and one of the LDP slogans as a whole. Despite the promise to tackle the growing differences between the average Kandorese and the lower strata of society, the differences in income have only increased.

While it is true that more Kandorese are employed than ever, unemployment has mainly shifted to the lower class and has nearly completely shut them out of competing or even participating in society. With ever-increasing debts, no proper housing, or even emergency measures in place, the poorest people of the Empire are at the mercy of slow-acting local institutions most of the time, which do not have the resources to help these people. Despite even more promised initiatives and even a ministry assigned to tackle poverty, the situation only seemed to worsen and reached its boiling point in the last days of November as multiple protests had a violent conclusion after scuffles with law enforcement and angry mobs.

The Corporate Question

While Murakami claims to be incorruptible, the influence of large corporations has been nothing but very clear to the general population. Largely unpopular bills were passed by parliament to the obvious benefit of mega-corporations such as Red Diamond Industries, Kaito, and Hiyashi, much to the chagrin of the population. Growing accusations of corporate meddling in politics and corruption seemed to be the daily theme during Murakami’s service, as parliament seemed to be swayed by financial power from day one.

During Murakami’s reign, people became even more distrustful of the major Kandorese corporations, and people started questioning if they should have a say in government projects at all. A small group, which Murakami called senseless socialists and anarchists, even called for the complete abolishment of mega-corporations and to start enforcing monopoly laws; these calls were scoffed at and dismissed.

Final Day of Murakami I

In the wake of all these happenings, the position of Murakami became increasingly difficult to defend. According to Murakami themselves, the LDP dropped their support for the Prime Minister and internally voted to remove Murakami as party leader. In a bid to save face, Murakami offered their resignation, and all of parliament, at 09:30 within the walls of the Imperial Palace, which would be approved and signed by Empress Masumi.

After a long speech and words of gratitude and admiration for the Kandorese people and the Kandorese democracy, the reign of Murakami as Prime Minister officially ended at 16:00 on December 1, marking the upcoming transitional period towards new elections which will most likely happen before the end of the month.

by **Saterun** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 11:44 am

It was time to go again. It had been a while since this NT had suited up, what with the break between WCQ and the CoH, but they were ready. That home defeat to Drawkland still hurt, but it was time to move on. Hans-Jürgen Becker sat in the locker room, just about done lacing up his boots. Around him, the Saterun team was getting ready to walk out into the stadium. They were playing in the massive Silverback Canyon, and it was an intimidating atmosphere. Their opponents were Hapilopper. Becker felt like that name was familiar. They weren't on their first iteration of a footballing system, so he may have heard of them during a previous setup. The Hapilopper of then would have wiped the floor with the Saterun of then, but this was a different matchup. He knew that a good first game would put Saterun in a vitally helpful position in a group they were expected to be eliminated from.

This team looked slightly different, both tactically and personel-wise, than in the beginning of the campaign, but they still played with Kameron Boyd's trademark agression and discipline. Although they had struggled to find it in the later half of qualifying, they were still capable of scoring goals. Boyd realized as much as Becker did that a strong start was imperative, and encouraged his team to attack the ball right from the beginning. Near the 20th minute, just as the teams were settling into their shape, Becker won the ball near the middle of the field. Saterun usually liked to work the ball down the outsides and cross into the center. The Hapilopper defenders were already anticipating that, but in doing so left a small gap between the centerbacks. In a rare move, Becker slipped the ball right between them, into the feet of Maksymillian Bates. The rising Saterun star had the physicality to protect the ball, and was pretty damn fast too. He expertly cut across the defender to give himself a few steps of room, and then blasted off. The other Hap centerback was just able to keep pace, but that left Thiago Esparza open in the middle. Bates played a dropped ball back to Esparza, who finished it off cleanly near the penalty spot. Rediscovering scoring form, the Claws had put themselves in front.

Twice more in the first half would the Claws find the net. Glenn Lundquist nearly landed a stunning overhead volley, and was just denied by the post. However, Bates was lying in wait, and eagerly snatched up the chance. This had really been his breakout season. Saterun further their advantage in the 38th. Once again, it was a Becker-Bates-Esparza move. Coming to be regarded as the three best players on the team, this slanted triangle terrorized defences. This time, it was a dizzying passing display in which no player took more than two touches. Becker swung in the usual outswinger cross, which cleanly connected with Bates's head to give Saterun their third. The combination Bates possesed of physicality and technique was rare in Saterun football, and showed why Real Anasb was ready to drop a hefty pricetag on a then-unknown 26 year-old. That had been a couple seasons ago, and Bates had massively exceded expectations. Real Anasb would likely have to fend off international interest in the next window in order to keep their star man. The Claws went into the break on a high, but the next half would severly test their defensive capabilities.

Bernie Sherman would really kick things off for The Haps. In the 65th minute, he slammed a sideways volley into the crossbar, and almost scored with the rebound. Only a diving save from Ralf Abiatti kept the Saterun goal safe. But not for long. The Claws were getting battered by numerous Hapilopper attacks, and it started to show. They were putting in some rash tackles. In the 71st minute, Stan McLamb burst between the Saterun line into the box. Fearing an imminent goal, Fabian Cruz swung in a diving tackle. He missed the ball and caught McLamb's inner leg instead. The striker went down quickly, and there wasn't much debate about the call. Given that there was likely intent for the ball and it hadn't been a dangerous challenge, Cruz escaped with only a yellow. Although Abiatti guessed right, McLamb's shot was high and in the corner. Kameron couldn't really blame his keeper. But he wasn't happy with the rest of the squad. Staying professional and working against frustration hadn't been their strong suit during qualifiers, and they needed to sort that out before it cost them a game.

Still reeling from the penalty, Saterun struggled to get it together. Kameron saw his team's tactical disicpline crumble before his eyes, and they started to make silly mistakes. Something had to change. He brought on Saveli Holst in for Cruz, who had picked up the yellow card. He also brought in Jeffery Copeland for Andrei Coiro. He needed some vitality here to keep a high tempo. Things seemed to improve, but the match was still swinging in Hapilopper's favor. In the 85th, Saterun's defense was punctured again. They had been caught on the counter and the defense was in a disarray. All of that led to Sherman being clear on the back post. Abiatti pressured well, but Rick Bamford was able to slide a pass through the diving goalkeeper's legs. It took merely a redirection from Sherman to cut the Claws' lead in half. Although Kameron didn't like it, he knew he needed to protect this lead defensively. He marshalled his team from the sidelines, playing compactly and disciplined. It was a nervy final 8 minutes, but they got the job done. The referee's whistle confirmed a Saterun victory. They had been completely dominant in the first half, but had broken down after the penalty. These issues continued to plague the team, but they were making progress. Play like this, and they had a serious chance at advancing.

by **Milchama** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 11:51 am

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader

Sports Section

In Retrospect, We Probably Should Have Done Our Preview Before MD 1

Sometimes we here at the Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader make silly mistakes. For example, we accidentally screwed up twice in our last article. We mistook where our new manager is from (it turns out Tinhampton is still alive somehow) and we made a mistake in our CoH roster. While both mistakes have been corrected, we also didn't do something traditional for Milchamian which is a preview post about who is in our group and how likely we are too advance. We blame the time, because again, who has the time? Do you even know the times? Where are the times now? Are the times a'changin'? How does something go a'changin'? Is Bob Dylan full of bs? These are just some of the questions that will not be answered in this article. However, we will answer different questions like who is in Milchama's group? And how likely is Milchama to advance from this group? We even have data that we can use since this is late and 1/3 of the group stage are over! We can even post-dict! Woo hoo!

Delaclava (71) - The hosts! They get homefield advantage which is unfortunate and how they overturned a 3-1 deficit with 30 minutes left to leave the Warriors bloodied and only on one point. We actually expected a draw before MD 1, because we post-dict with 100% accuracy and that's a Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader guarantee, so this doesn't screw us up at all. What we need to do is just beat the other two teams.

Brannfjord (87) - We have never played Brannfjord before or if we have it was unmemorable because I don't remember it. They had a surprisingly good World Cup campaign that means they are worrying. They also are currently leading the group after their obvious, and clearly foreseen (look, postdicting!), victory over Reçueçn. However, we are, in theory, a better side than them so I would expect us to do pretty well against them. Expect a 3-1 victory.

Reçueçn (111) - These guys are distracted. As one of the teams that is too busy thinking about Beefsteak City and their improbably run to the Cup of Harmony Reçueçn really isn't going to have a good time. They already obviously lost, as we have clearly foreseen, to Brannfjord and now it will lead to a 0-0-3 group stage while Beefsteak City advances to octas.

Milchama (31) - That's us! We had a disappointing first game against Delaclava, especially blowing that lead, but we're generally a decent team, I think, we do well in Cups of Harmony and now we have a real chance with a weaker than expected group to do some real damage. All we need is Margaret to listen to our prayers. I know we're trying hard to do that so it's not going to be the worst thing ever.

So that's our preview post and now we will sit watch MD 2 and get ready for our MD 1 match report that will happen during halftime of MD 3 because that's the timely reporting you expect from the Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader.

by **Sarzonia** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 12:40 pm

Before the Sarzonian national football team lined up for the opening kickoff of their Cup of Harmony match against Qasden, Brady Reynolds had a philosophical decision to make.

Sarzonia entered the 87th Cup of Harmony as by far the lowest ranked team in the tournament at No. 144. They were facing a Qasden side that was the next lowest ranked team in Group F. In the minds of many, even those in the Incorporated Football Federation, the chances that the Stars would advance past the group stage were non-existent.

Reynolds had already decided that shepherding the team through a rebuild wasn't something he wanted to do. However, he realised that he could still set a tone for the future of Sarzonian football.

If he decided to just play the depth players and played conservatively, it could be considered waving the white flag. If he played the starting 11 without regard for giving younger players experience, that could stunt the development of the younger players as the veterans age out of the lineup.

So there was great interest in seeing who would line up for Reynolds against Qasden. The Stars emerged with the usual starting 11 and the typical subs. The message for the Sarzonian supporters in the audience in St. David Gardens in the Upper West was clear. Sarzonia would give it everything they got.

It didn't work exactly. Neither the Stars nor the Vans could dent the nets behind the opposing team's goalkeepers as both Carlton Sandt and Zinnia Thurstan earned clean sheets. Sandt made eight saves whilst Thurstan notched five.

However, even though Qasden arguably had the better of play, winning the possession battle 52-48 and forcing more spectacular saves from Sandt whereas Thurstan mostly had routine stops, Reynolds walked off the pitch with a slight smile on his face.

"We fought," he said. "I was pleased with our effort out there. We earned that point."

Sarzonia (0-0-1) will face 16th ranked Huayramarca, coming off a 5-3 victory over Cardenao in their match. Reynolds already said his team would play the match as if they had a real chance at qualifying for the knockout rounds.

"They're a threat on both sides of the ball," Reynolds said. "They scored five goals against a quality side, one of the top teams in the sport. We're going to have to mind our assignments and be judicious with offside traps and off ball movement."

One point that wasn't lost on Reynolds was the fact that the match was the first draw of the cycle. Sarzonia went 5-0-9 during World Cup qualifying.

"That's interesting," he said. "I don't know what that means, but we'll take the result."

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 1:20 pm

Undertow
Chapter 1
Jarek

A man stood at the bottom of the escalator, holding a creased sheet of paper, “Jarogniew Birxen” scrawled across it in red marker. Whoever had written it hadn't planned ahead; the last few letters were squeezed in at the edge of the paper. They should've saved themselves some trouble and just written Jarek. The only time Jarogniew heard his full name was once a month when he called his mother. He’d called her from the airport terminal back in Viltvodle. She’d been worried, of course. She watched too many sensationalist news stories about Lublova and still wasn’t convinced her only child wouldn’t be having daily gunfights with drug traffickers.

Jarek shifted his duffle from in front of him around his hip, muttering an apology as it bumped against the woman behind him. He stepped off the escalator, making eye contact with the man waiting for him. He was wearing a tan canvas jacket, open over a dull green sweater and faded blue jeans, and looked as if he hadn't shaved or combed his brown hair in at least a few days. He folded up the paper and shoved it into his rear pants pocket as Jarek drew closer. "Welcome to Lublova."

"Thanks, you spelled my last name wrong though, it's Brixen, not Birxen."

"Yeah well, you figured it out anyhow. Way to go, rookie."

"I'm not a rookie, I've been out of the academy for two years aready, in Viltvodle."

"Busting small timers in Viltvodle ain't shit, kid. You're on the frontline now. You got any more bags?" The man nodded toward where a crowd was gathering, waiting for the baggage claim conveyor to start.

"No, I travel light," Jarek hooked a thumb through the strap of his duffel.

"Let's go then." The man turned and they walked out the door to the curb where an elderly SMV sedan sat, hazard lights flashing to proclaim its owner's right to park in what was clearly marked as a loading zone only. Ignoring a dirty look from an airport employee directing traffic around his vehicle, the man popped open the trunk for Jarek's bags, and the two of them climbed in and sped away from the curb into the tangled mess of concrete that every airport road system invariably becomes. "I hope you have a nickname, Rookie, because Jarogniew is going to get to be a real mouthful after a while," the driver abruptly announced.

"Jarek's fine, but I figure you'd have a handle on Molvanian names if you've been out here on the front line as long as you make it seem. You have a name at all?"

"Shit, did I forget that part? Fermin Kallathil, sorry. Anyway, I do fine with Molvanski, just a lot of syllables for everyday use."

"If you say so. How long have you been out here anyway Fermin?"

"Four years so far, before that, two years in Brantisvogan, and another four in Arkintoofle."

"You've seen a lot of action then?"

"A bit, yeah. Guess they figure I've survived long enough to keep you from getting yourself killed out here." Fermin trailed off for a few minutes as they made their way down their highway into town, faster traffic whizzing by in the left lane. "Say, ND rate their own offices back in Viltvodle?"

"Kind of, they stuck us down in the basement of the headquarters building."

"Well, you're moving up in the world. We rate a floor to ourselves, receptionist, file clerk, the works. And if you're good, Ra Ra lets you look out the window once a week."

"Ra Ra?"

"Razia Radski, your new boss. Keep that little nickname quiet, by the way, unless you want to set a new record for getting on her shitlist."

"Ah, yeah. She definitely has a reputation."

"It's well earned, rookie, but its because she knows what we're doing out here, and what we're up against." Fermin steered the car down an exit ramp, tires rumbling over uneven pavement, and drew to a stop at a red light. "Speaking of, how much do you know about what you're walking into here in Lublova. I assume they gave you some idea before shipping you out here."

"Well Lublova is the biggest land border crossing for drug smuggling."

"I hope you know more than what they teach in middle-school anti-drug classes."

"Ok, so the Quebecois Jopok run most of the trafficking operations from the other side of the border, and they partner with the Lublova Mutri to make the handoff."

"Closer, but not exactly."

"Well I know lately there's a been a lot of Farf resettlement after the war, so there's been some disruption in the balance of power out here."

"Disruption, thats one way to put it. A lot of people getting hurt and killed is another." The light changed and Fermin pulled ahead, making a left turn to pass back under the highway, headed toward downtown. "Another thing you want to get through your head right now is that the border only means anything to us. Jopok, Mutri, those guys don't give a shit what side they're on. You also want to remember that yeah, they work together on this operation, but only because they have to. Porco Rosso and Ko-Ko would each gun the other one down in a heartbeat if they though they could get away with it."

"That's Bubnić and Schumacher, right?"

"Oh good, you paid attention at least a little bit. Kovař "Ko-Ko" Bubnić is your new personal nemesis. He's run Lublova's underworld for ten years, he's our white whale. As for Porco Rosso, that's Lionel-Oscar Schumacher, and you can put catching him out of your mind right now. Hardly ever crosses the border, moves in force, has a private army and the hardware to outfit them. You've seen what football ultras are like in Quebec? Multiply that by a thousand and you've got the Porco Rosso gang."

"So what, we just let them do whatever they want?"

"Gotta pick our battles. Anyway, time to meet the boss."

Fermin pulled off the road into the parking lot of a five-story office building, the smooth tinted glass facade reflected the low afternoon sun into Jarek's eyes as he squinted at the signage over the door: Confederate Bureau of Police. The two men walked into the lobby, where Fermin waved to the officer seated at the front desk as they passed. In the elevator, Fermin jabbed the button for the third floor, and Jarek checked himself in the mirrored back wall. His shirt was hopelessly creased from a day of air travel. Fortunately his hair was too short to have gotten too unruly. He quickly raked his fingers through it anyway. The elevator came to a stop, and they stepped out to the reception area of the Narcotics Division office. Behind a desk sat a small woman with a mop of curly gray hair over a worn and pinched face that might have been forbidding had it not been for the broad smile that lit up in recognition as she raised her head.

“Fermin! So nice of you to give our new agent a lift!”

“Yeah, well Radski says I’m a chauffeur, guess that makes me a chauffeur,” Fermin turned to gesture at Jarek. “Marzanna this is Jarek Brixen, Jarek, Marzanna Garinik, ND’s own dedicated ray of sunshine and the best damn administrator in the Confederacy. Make her frown and we’ll throw you out the window.”

“Don’t bully him. Jarek dear, so nice to meet you. You mustn’t mind Fermin, you know. He puts on this gruff face with new people but he’s a softie at heart.”

“C’mon Marza, you don’t have to tell the rookie all my secrets on the first day, make him work a little.”

Jarek wasn’t sure how to get a word into the conversation, nor what that word might have been if he could. A door swung open at the far end of the reception area, forestalling the question. A tall woman with a shock of vibrantly red hair that spilled down over her white collar to the smooth lapels of a slate gray suit jacket. Detective Colonel Razia Radski needed no introduction.

“Detective Brixen, come in please.”

As Jarek rubbed his sweating palms against his trousers, he heard Fermin from behind him with a final remark. “Relax kid, she’s never yet killed anyone on their first day.”

Black-and-Reds Wasteful in Melkum Debut
Salwan Mynhier

Despite a flurry of second-half chances, the Black-and-Reds came away from their Cup of Harmony opener with a single goal and single point to their credit, having been shut out for the last 80 minutes of the match against Kandorith after Rasha Sargsa continued her hot streak with an early goal against the Mekahi, who found their equalizer just before the half, and held on for the final 45 minutes to clinch the draw. This result leaves the Black-and-Reds, not in terrible shape, but certainly needing a better result next time out against Cap Nord. The reigning Esportivan champions prevailed over Myrtle Beach in their own opener and sit atop Group 2 as a result. They are, quite literally, the team to beat for the Black-and-Reds.

SRS: 1
KAN: 1

Scoring:
SRS: Sargsa 9’
KAN: Saito 43’
 
SRS Lineup: Blaha; Drenel (Nyberg 80’), Van, Titov, Norling; Sevet-Ibilx, Amjol (Hashemi 87’); Ksudach (Bondarov 56’), Avachinsky (Volam 80’), Aaltonen; Sargsa (Ness 87’)

Schedule and Results:

MD01: SRS 1-1 KAN @ Feathershark Dunes State Park (cap. 320,000), Beachview, Mainframe, DEL
MD02: CND  v  SRS @ Devonshire Pier Park (cap. 259,000), Beachview, Mainframe, DEL
MD03: SRS  v  MYB @ Feathershark Dunes State Park (cap. 320,000), Beachview, Mainframe, DEL

by **Carpathia and Ruthenia** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 3:04 pm

Kovács' attacking gamble fails to pay off

Carpathia and Ruthenia team looking dejected after going 4-1 down

The Barrio, Pomena Station, Deleclava Well neither myself nor Lucia Kovács should be doing any gambling in the future, something I won't ever be making predictions on again. After a disappointing qualifying campaign it seems that they have come to the Cup of Harmony to prove a point. I will give myself some credit as I did say "we all know a wounded animal is most dangerous", but to also give credit to the Acastanha side, they didn't look like a wounded animal, they looked like a well oiled machine.

Acastanha were the ones who came out of the gate strongest with us caught in the backfoot from early on with Oscar Kasvalone scoring in the seventeenth minute catching the Carpathia and Ruthenia back three napping with a very well timed pass from Nóe Brinanko. To be fair after that early mistake the team did close the gaps and were able to restrict Acastanha in the midfield with it being an even match until a breakthrough came for Acastanha with a corner in the fourty-first minute with Herberto Alindoni rising clear above and guiding the ball into the back corner with a sublime header. Acastanha looked to be going into the second half with a comfortable two goal lead, however a moment of individual brilliance from Clara Bassi right at the end the half, managing to dance around the Acastanha defenders and blast it past the outstretched hands of Bruno Amarinda made things just a goal away from equality as the whistle blew for the half.

The second half the Acastanha came out with the foot seemingly off the gas but instead were happy to let us attack deeper into their half and break on the counter, this is where Kovács made her gamble. Hoping that in letting the Carpathia and Ruthenia side deeper into their half if we changed formation to got even more attacking with four strikers up front perhaps we could break through and get back to level pegging. So in the 60th minute Ottavia Lecce made way for the young Róza Crocetti, and it began to look as if this gamble might pay off, shots from Pék and Acconci were turned around the post with some good saves from Bruno Amarinda, and Bassi was even denied her brace by the cross bar, but after an incredibily firey six minutes it was us who were broken, in committing in this ultra attacking way we were completly exposed at the back with able to catch on us on the break to leave us two goals down, and seventeen minutes later Herberto Alindoni completing their brace and leaving us three goals down. Róza Crocetti was able to get us a consoltation goal in the eighty-ninth minute through another moment of individual brilliance, to leave the scoreline marginally less embarassing.

I hate to bang the same old drum but although the second half of our qualifying was impressive when our attackers are stifled by a strong and united defence, or simply having an off day were there are not clicking or just a day were luck isn't on our side then the sheer defensive weakness we have in on full display. A good offence isn't the best defense when you are 91st in the world, when you are in the bottom pot of the group. Yes Bassi, Pék, Acconci and Crocetti can all give us moments of elation and wonder goals, but we simply can't rely on those moments of brilliance, we need perhaps a less dazzling intermittent light, and a dimmer but more consitent light source. At this stage a 1-0 win is still a win, just ask Audioslavia.

By Margita Ongaro
CBC Ruthenia

Carpathia and Ruthenia 2 - 4 Acastanha             
          Bassi (44')      FT      Oscar Kasvalone (17')
              Crocetti (89')              Herberto Alindoni (41', 83')
                                   Plinio Adondare (66')

by **Krytenia** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 3:53 pm

OOC: To the tune of this song. This is an aside pertaining to the current Mertagne-Bostopia conflict.

She crosses into Adanac, a train you've never seen
This is the Secrecy Express
Aid is what they're claiming, but that isn't what they mean
This is the Secrecy Express
It's not a RINK train driver, 'cause they didn't need to know
What's in the Secrecy Express
But to avoid suspicion, so they take it nice and slow
Driving the Secrecy Express
Through the Silver Valley the engine did power
Been planning this route for a week
Reinforcements at Hastings, arrived on the hour
And onto the train they did sneak
Still southwards past the capital, and Stratford blew right by
This is the Secrecy Express
And onto the Mercia Line, its cargo classified
On board the Secrecy Express
They trundle through the countryside, their destination near
Riding the Secrecy Express
Their mission may be dangerous, but yet they mustn't fear
This is the Secrecy Express
Mertagne to the marshes, and the end of the track
This is the Secrecy Express
Unloading for Bostopia, there is no turning back
Farewell, the Secrecy Express

by **Qasden** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 4:04 pm

Old as New
Heartbreak Brings Qads back to CoH
By Wallace Wallows
A second chance, a second waste, a second managerial turnover in a cycle and a half.

A narrow victory over struggling Saperetia in the desolate hills of Destiny gave the Qasden National Team another lease on life in their longstanding attempt to renew an increasingly derelict and decaying history of the 6-time World Cup qualifiers. The initiative became more realized when Brookstation bested the Audioslavians, the only nation to have taken all 6 points against the Vans throughout the campaign, allowing the Blue-Reds to sneak past the Bulls in the final boarding call to Sylestone. With the Dreamers taking the top spot and automatic qualification with them, Qasden needed to jump through one last hoop in order to make their stay on the Esportivan island more elongated. The challenge: to prevent 86th-ranked Tanirinthia from making their own WC debut. The feat seemed simple enough, the Vans' overall record against the lower ranked teams in its qualifying group was near spotless, bar a blunder to Oberour Ar Moro. However, the nerves of simply being in the playoffs still shook the Qasden loyal to their core, regardless as to who their opponent would be. Up to this point, the nation had only contested in playoffs on 2 occasions: one last cycle, seeing the end of Munson's managerial career with an extra time loss to Mytanija; and a home-and-away against then-debuting Baker Park back in the run up to WC80. The latter series would end 4-4, with the 0-1 defeat at Belle Haven continuing to haunt generations of Qads to this day (despite the death knell coming from the follow-up in TVC). Such nightmares loomed among the more silver-eyed civilians while waiting in line for a passport stamp from the stone republic, but for some fresher fans, things felt different this go around.

Rex Akimbo, the famed 'Hooligan Manager', had up to this point been fairly promising as the inheritor to Munson's magic. Sure, the pair of 1-0 losses to the Anaian giants were meme'd into the maligned 'Akimbo Curse', but his uncanny commandeering of the squad's personality and prowess proved beneficial, sopping up points elsewhere to keep the Qads afloat. His strategies were unruly, even inefficient at times, what with Jaylyn Bone prone to being stranded on and off the pitch plan, but they sent Qasden through on a 2nd place finish in their debuting tournament. "Surely that's worth something!" said the optimists, clad in tasteless half-and-halves while ogling the googly-eyed passer-bys of Kirkham's populace. "Besides, it's not like Tanirinthia's a threat. They're not Banija!".

Tanirinthia was, indeed, a threat at this point in the competition.

The Mighty Oaks, as they're self-referred as, had served in a couple cycles prior to our encounter, debuting at BoF 80 in that wild era of everyone going through Mertagne en route to their first qualifiers. Despite exiting in the Round of 16, the Tanirinthians continued to build themselves up every match since then, culminating in a fantastic campaign that saw them as runner-ups over the much more established powerhouses in Ochre Islands and Cap Nord, among others. It's a feat near unparalleled since the days of Belle Haven, and arguably would be lauded as such, had the populace known and/or cared about it. Indeed, beyond the capacities of a few scientists and military officials within the higher branches, the roots of the Mighty Oaks' support were nothing more than cover-ups and classified information exclusively bound for the clandestine canopy of power. Not much is known about what it entails, but it does probably mean that I can criticize more without as much backlash...though not that I'd want to, if any Tanirinthian officials and/or hitmen are reading.

Finally, after all the hoopla, it was showtime. Fans adorned in blue and red swept into the Sentient Oval, gazing and parading in excitement as Qasden's metaphysical interpretations of a brick wall proved fruitful in much of the first half. Thurstan was not having to deal with much rigmarole as players like Quickley and Noel kept the balls few and far away from the Zinnian net, meanwhile a strong midfield presence kept the Tanirinthian possession fleeced and frail. 25 minutes in, the ball slacked past an equally-so defense into the helm of Jaylyn Bone, nailing the net through to an early 1-0 lead that'd last soundly into halftime.

The supporters rejoiced in the name of Rexball, the unlikeliest hero to send Qasden back to the World Cup. The cheers pelted the ears of concession workers as like a ticket printer, as patrons excessively queued for possibly overpriced scran in the intermission to the final countdown. If only they knew just beneath them were the locker rooms that'd radiate an unfolding change in what was to come. The whistle whips the field back to life, and pretty quickly, it became clear that the Oaks' strategy was becoming more aggressive. Thurstan, for her part, kept the balls away as the defense depleted in its effectiveness. 56 minutes in, a shot from Tanirinthia's Violet Bacchus found its way through the crowd of Qads and past the pink shirt, jackhammering what little foundation Bone had set us up beforehand. 6 minutes later, a lucky bounce and an ever luckier crossbar gave Bridget Payne the leadtaker, and with it, the daily white noises of Kirkham enveloped a sobering stadium. Half an hour was left to play, and yet, the lone Bone could do little to get through a stricter defense. In a final corner, the ball would connect with Thurstan in an attempt to take the game into extra time, only to wrong her on the crossbar, killing all momentum, and ending the campaign then and there.
The Qads, for the third time, had lost.

The whistle blew, and the players fell to the ground in agony and despair. The fans could do nothing but hold their head and choke back tears, with the devil getting his due from the man long thought to be the one to get us through. Rex Akimbo promised to bring Qasden back to the glory days of Merritt and Bjarnasson. Instead, under the ever present gaze of the Sentient Tower, he had turned Kirkham into Belle Haven for the next generation, a type of trauma that spares no mercy.

Dejected, the nation received an invitation to the Cup of Harmony in Delaclava, a former regional ally before its landmass-wide transferal to the seas of Sonnel. Begrudgingly, QAFA accepted, though with Rex exiled, and not much time to figure out a new appointee, the organization turned to Lori Vandelhaar, the one pulling the strings behind Akimbo's incompetence.

Lori was present through all the mess of the campaign so far, and in the aftermath of Kirkham, she certainly had her fair share of calls for resignation and excommunication, but with Ryan Xandreas still insistent on never taking the top job, it was her or a headless rubber chicken, though the latter would be well preferred at this point. Vandelhaar believed in the 4-5-1 formation still, a red flag more than anything, but with the excuse of enabling a slightly more offense-friendly approach to it, she was assigned 2 friendlies to make it work as a test of confidence ahead of the team's journey through to the Mainframe.
Geektopia, the first of the two, offered to pay a visit to the Community Greens in Qad City, a major qualifying stadia that had been controversially snubbed from the list for 95. The Blue-Reds and Purples had played in parties prior (most notably in back-to-back campaigns in WC89 and 90), but this was a slightly more different Geektopian team than we may have acquainted ourselves with in the past. Like the Qads, the Geeks had a dominant past lost to the modern era of hapless rebuilding, though their change in status is far more recent than our own. It was a pleasant encounter for some folks reminiscent of older times (not the good times, just older ones), which made the juxtaposition between now and then much more visceral as Vandelhaar's first match in charge ended in total bloodshed. Like Kirkham and the games before, the defense stunted the majority of Geektopian attacks before they were allowed to cook. However, things sprung into action as the Qasdonian offense launched volley after volley that waned the visiting keeper's sides as each ball flew past them. Braces for both Bone and Galleon, paired with goals from Starcutter and McCracken, lit up the scoreboard as the proof of faith tour kicked off with a 6-1 round-housing, the largest margin since the 5-0 drubbing of the Licentian Isles in WCQ 91. Most fans were left in a good deal of disbelief, though a fair amount were critical as to how none of this kind of Qasden had shown up during qualifiers. Still, it was a start, though a much bigger test was to come in the away leg of the intermission tour in the form of Xanneria.

While Geektopia is in the midsts of rebuilding its former glories, the Maroons were coming into the intermission one point shy of siphoning a playoff spot from Kandorith in qualifiers, only being bounced as a result of the latter drawing Polar Islandstates on matchday 14 to go up. Xanneria plays with an offensive style near equally counteractive of our own defensive set, making the trip to Asbury Park all the more level. What resulted was, effectively, a refusal of either side to let up on the goal scoring. For each movement of the net past Thurstan, the Qads would counter, vice versa and repeat throughout the 90. Bone would tack on another goal to his already impeccable scoreline, while Orville nicked a brace and an assist to Bruno for a 4-goal extravaganza, only to be foiled by Xannerian goals equally such an amount. 4-4 would end the bout at the Benson Dome, a gift for the spectators, but an unsavory situation for Qasden's 'Nil'em' approach to play.

The friendlies set out to vindicate Vandelhaar in the eyes of the depressed public. Instead, fiery eyes met with watery sighs as a general sense of apathy swayed over the Royal Loyal. While Geektopia enabled some credence, Xanneria reeled back any initial hype, with the Vans having to acknowledge that a turnaround in performance was not going to be welcomed so easily so early in transition. For now, though, a 1-1-0 record is what Lori got, enough in the eyes of QAFA to keep her through the CoH. The squad eventually made their way onto a plane, set course of Sonnel, with nothing but a resentful hope masking the players' displeasure with not being around sentient objects at the World Cup.

While not with the prominence of the big dance, the Cup of Harmony draw favored the Qads by setting them up in Delaclava's Upper West Village, a collection of cells within the nation's new, psychologically mind-numbing metastructure that seem to house the more well-to-do families. Fresh air-scented molecule conglomerates fuel the way of life in this portion of the Mainframe, an advantage the Qads could exploit further down the light-railed line, bar a possible quick exit from the group stage. The first battle down here, at the surprisingly gargantuan St. David Gardens, would pit the Vans against Sarzonia, a groupmate of Xanneria's in WCQ 95 who possibly wouldn't mind the ability to get revenge for AOCAF 62 and an MSMT exit from days of yore. The Stars were by no means the toughest team of the table, given a rank deficit between Qasden and them standing nearly 100 spots, but the navy-clad players were never shy of instigating troubles for their opponents. Such would be the first true testament of Vandelhaar's loyalty to the 4-5-1 formation.
Defense-wise, the Qads can't complain. Strong challenges and an overall possession advantage kept Thurstan's usage throughout the match to tamer waters. Same could not be said for the Qad offense, however, as Bone and other attacking midfielders struggled to get the ball past the gloves of Carlton Sandt, lest they were stopped by a tenacious Sarzonian defense beforehand. Soon enough the whistle forbade anymore efforts to overhaul the scoreless session, with each side walking away with a point, leaving the Vans in an uncomfortable spot on Day One.

0-0 is a victory for defense, but a lackluster introduction to what we were told to expect from Vandelhaar's supposed 'attack-friendly' comparison to Akimbo before her. Even more dreadful, however, is its conjunction with the schedule's level of daunt going forward, with a battle against near-equally ranked Cardenao arriving on the horizon, the Blue and Golds willing to fight tooth and nail to keep themselves in the line of action. With so much anxiety and apathy quarrelling over the aftershocks of Post-Kirkham Qasden, it's important to remember how far this squad has come since its rebuild under Darsten and Munson, and with older faces set to retire any day now, all we can do is hope that this new generation of players can avenge the fruitless careers of household names before its their own turn to hang up the boots. Two more matches lay between now and the unknown, and with somber eyes, we can only but gaze out into the void wishfully for the next page turn to be one of reconciliation and restoration. For now, our players, spectators, and press can't do much more than plead to a synthetic sky that the efforts in Delaclava be merciful.

Will Qasden see light under Lori as we wade into the next new world of football? Do the Vans have what it takes to bring about a rebounding direction from the draw against Sarzonia? Stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for more reports, coiled up in the heart of a Sonnelian-based Mainframe.

by **Cap Nord** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 4:13 pm

Again.

It seemed like a record stuck in the same place. A feverish, life-like dream that featured himself on the pitch amid thousands of howling fans. The ball between his hands, the stern look from the referee who instructed him to put it on the spot. Bradley Page, the Myrtle Beach goalkeeper who he recognized right away despite never having met before, looked like a giant with arms the size of oil drills. The epiphany, for lack of a better word, even included the first two steps of the run-up before getting cut short. There was not even the little misty, bubble fade one expects from a dream sequence: the Writer liked a clean stopcut. The foreshadowing of impending doom seemed strong as Simon Carstensen opened his eyes to a wonderful sunrise in Delaclava. He knew that the fifth penalty of the campaign for the Whalers was not something to be stopped. Simon had missed the previous four. But as the tranquilising sounds of the ocean waves overcame the snoring of his roommate, Carstensen rose with a mysterious smile on his lips. Tonight, he would take the pen in his own hands.

…

Jan Van Dijcke fished into the bowl with a lackluster hand. He was enough of a pro to pick carrot sticks when watching a game, but by far not enough to truly enjoy that. And yes, he would watch the opener against Myrtle Beach. He had considered skipping it as that bastard of a Finchley had done with him but it felt like a patriotic duty. Even with a sight on Kirkenes’ iconic Panopti Tower, he remained a child of the far less ambitious Noordende skyline.

Graciously draped over the couch, Van Dijcke witnessed how James Robinson had positioned his team excellently. Campbell and Fulton held the upper hand in the center of the pitch and Justin Stevens showed himself lethal, pulling the trigger twice on fast breaks that caught out a struggling Vennema and Pedersen. Between those strikes, Rohan Williams had demonstrated his capacities with a stroke of genius in the box that could not be stopped by Page. One seat to the right, his girlfriend Meg observed him with more intensity than she followed the game. In one part, she considered it self torture of his to watch this, but there was something very charming about the intensity with which he followed the Whalers. When Jorgen Bjerkness dribbled his way past Max Byers with just ten minutes left, she already smiled.

”Penalty! Fucking penalty!”

How he got up that fast was unclear, but Jan scolded the television until the referee caught the message and pointed to the spot.

“Oh, no.”

The words in the Kelssek metropole were echoed all across Cap Nord as Simon Carstensen took the leather without hesitation. Four missed one, four in a row. What on earth was Finchley thinking to let him go again? But the Lozhoan seemed completely satisfied with the course of affairs. None of the teammates seemed to twitch either. Jan was too invested in the game to see the triumphant expression on his girlfriend’s face.

Carstensen juggled a bit with the ball before putting it in the right position. His steps backwards were measured, as was the little skip to the right. After a solemn sigh, he took the first step of his run-up. And the second. And…

Simon Carstensen stopped suddenly and clasped for his thigh.

“Oh shit, he’s injured.”

Carstensen signaled to the ref that he could not complete it before limping off to the sideline. You could see the referee mentally paging through the rulebook but after a minor hesitation, he allowed Rohan Williams to send Page to the wrong corner and score his second goal of the night. Outside the images of a triumphant Williams carrying the ball for a quick kick-off, only a handful of people saw how Simon Carstensen cheered with an animalistic cry.

“Get in. Get in!”

Jan Van Dijcke now stood about half a meter from the screen, trying to shout all the way from the East Pacific to Delaclava. He barely noticed how Meg walked away, clearly aghast. But he did see how Simon Carstensen put the cherry on top of a marvelous comeback with a clever free kick that found Jody Barnes all alone in front of goal.

by **Delaclava** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:09 pm

Home Phoenixes preserve draw in Cup of Harmony

DELACLAVA 3 — 3 MILCHAMA
Khautov 34' 84', Dimellis 67' | Thomas 16' 42', Benbemore 52'
Bullrich; Egan, Champagne, Gouin, Barker; Heilprin (O'Galvin 46'), Kraulis, Rogers, Anagnakis (Lindblad 46'); Khautov, Gallant (Dimellis 57').

New Catherina –– As Delaclava struggled through World Cup qualifying, failing to record a point against any of its group's top three teams, Alibek Khautov—the new scoring leader of the Delaclava national team—waited impatiently for an opportunity to step up to the occasion and prove himself to a frustrated fanbase.

Faced with an opportunity to steal some success in front of a home crowd, at a Cup of Harmony unlike any other, Khautov didn't miss. His 84th-minute equalizer off a deft individual run snatched a 3-3 draw for Delaclava against 31st-ranked Milchama, to the delight of the announced 433,858 mostly-Delaclav supporters at Sapphire Circle in New Catherina, The Mainframe.

"I'm not surprised at all," manager Ernie Davis said. "Khautov has a great finishing touch and scored a lot of goals in qualifying. We all struggled to find our rhythm in games where it counted, but I think everyone stepped up today, especially when the pressure was on."

Khautov had previously scored Delaclava's first goal in the 34th minute. But Milchama led 3-1 after 60 minutes, getting the better of possession with a more attacking style, Delaclava repeating its struggles to play a more balanced style and finding itself on the back foot. Through the first hour, Milchama led possession 64%-36% and generated 15 shots to Delaclava's 4. But Kyriakos Dimellis, UFL Golden Boot winner with Ossiana FC, replaced the struggling Seth Gallant and immediately hit it off with Khautov. Dimellis scored in the 67th minute, just ten minutes after entering the game, after Ashley Rogers threatened the center of the box and then slid the ball over to Dimellis as the Milchamian defenders converged.

Then, as time waned, Khautov took his chance. Receiving the ball at the top of the penalty area from Margons Kraulis, Khautov faked and worked his way outside to the left and past Dervan Kelliers and Eric Hexidevorah, almost running out of room outside but finding the sharp angle and cutting the ball between the post and Morc Entersher and into the net. The Phoenixes continued to press, hoping to take advantage of the momentum and steal an improbable victory, but were unable to generate any serious chances at that effort.

Nevertheless, it was Delaclava's first point over a top-50 team since drawing Drawkland 3-3 at home in World Cup 94 qualifying, showing flashes of the ability and the drama that Delaclava can cause in the competition. Khautov credited the home presence, particularly in the distinctive and innovative Mainframe, for giving the Phoenixes the boost they needed to break their slump. "It's always a gift to play in front of the home fans. But more than usual, we are familiar with the layout of this place. We still train primarily on the mainland, at the DNAC, but many of us visit here, a few of us even occasionally live in the Mainframe now. We are not in awe of this place. And, I don't know if you believe in positive energy and all of that, but here we can get the positive energy of hundreds of thousands of people, all packed very tightly around us in all directions, pointed right at us. And surely, it must make some small difference. We want to keep playing well here and making the Mainframe venues our favorite places to play."

The result drastically bolstered the 71st-ranked Phoenixes' chance to clear the Cup of Harmony group stage for the third time in as many attempts. With a point secured over the strongest team on paper, Delaclava next looks forward to fixtures over 87th-ranked Brannfjord and 111th-ranked Reçueçn. Brannfjord defeated Reçueçn 1-0 in the other Group A game.

by **Pasarga** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:20 pm

The Wanderers had entered into the tournament with a bitter taste in their mouth and had hoped to see out the group stage with three victories and advancement to the knockout rounds to try and get that taste out of their mouth. The World Cup Qualifying performance had let the fans of the team down, even if the actual point tally had been quite impressive, but failing to make the Finals was also a tough blow to try and get over when there had been so much progress being made in the world of Pasargan football recently. They had managed to shake off the poor runs in the qualifying campaigns from the decade before and had managed to get a qualifying streak going, even if most of those appearances had required a playoff victory to into the Finals, and the SuperLiga was once more becoming one of the most competitive and well respected leagues around the world. The last several years having two of the best five strikers in the world playing in the league definitely helped get eyes back on the league and more money as a byproduct.

Then the opening matchday of the Cup of Harmony happened and all those hopes to wash away the negative feelings and the dread of disappointment from missing out on the Finals for the first time in near on a decade get dashed thanks to an all too common outcome in the first game of a group stage, upset by a lower seed. It is the sort of result that makes those back in the dual islands wonder if the problem is not the managers that have been at the helm of the Wanderers teams but if it is the players themselves or a culture that has forgotten how to actually succeed when the pressure is on. This team should have run rampant over Xanneria and yet they were lethargic in possession and were ineffectual in front of net during the phases of play where they actually managed to have thrust in the attack. The side only scored a goal thanks to the individual brilliance that is Elek Salai, though he is soon to retire and what will the Wanderers have then once the talisman is gone?

To be entirely fair to the team, they should have still escaped from the match and a rather poor performance against the Esportivan side with a point, yet a dodgy penalty was awarded late on to Xanneria that would have been overturned if it occurred in the SuperLiga. Yet the game was not held in the domestic league and by a different referee that has a different interpretation of the handball rule, believing any contact of ball and arms equates to a penalty even if the ball rolls up the players body and onto the arm. That penalty and dodgy call means that the Wanderers were dealt a crippling blow in the form of a loss and now have the tremendous task of trying to grab victories from their last two matches against two teams who have previously both won the World Cup. It is a task that is foreboding at best and a terrible omen at the worst, depending upon your perspective and belief that the Wanderers are able to bounce back.

Bounce back and quickly is what they have to do, have to embrace the idea of a short term memory and forget about the disappointments that have been their last three official matches. With Cassadaigua up next, the team has the second seed who will be looking to do one better than the nil to nil draw that they had with the Polarians in their opening match. That draw does provide a bit of opportunity for the Wanderers, though they will need to win both of their last matches in order for it to matter. The Dagans are team that is steeped in tradition and pedigree, known for their ability to pull out a victory against all odds and then build upon that success to build a dynasty. Salai is the talisman but he is only one person, the team needs to perform around him if the team is going to succeed, as one player can be marked out the game and the Dagans have that capability. The rest of the team needs to step up and perform as they did during most of the qualifiers, otherwise this will be a short appearance in the Cup of Harmony and the search for a new manager will have even steeper implications.

by **Independent Athletes from Quebec** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:53 pm

Ahead By A Century

PART 11 - Formula One Theme

An hour and half later...

The car ride from Mont-Saint-Louis to Songak, to right in the heart of it nonetheless, involved navigating through the rolling hills with picturesque towns and skill hills, mostly petite in size and exclusivist in character (I'd rather say exclusionist even, dear reader), but the the bumpy roads were not felt for those inside the car, which consisted of one of the junior security guards besides Lieutenant Sung Byeong-Joo, and two passengers, both of whom were seated on the backseats.

Alexandre let the adrenaline rush take himself as he closed his eyes while sitting on the back of the Rykers-Rhyce Spectre. Why am I having a flashback to it all? thought he. He was somewhat tired after being out and about for most of the day on the skill hills, and always having to make time for friends, even when on the trip where the purpose was to spend time with them away from official engagements, had worn lightly upon him.

Of course, this was more than what had worn inside his mind. His mind was filled with questions, thoughts and attempted unravelling of threads, with no less tension around them, as Alexandre tried to recall the presence of the tall, brown-haired hornist girl who had sang that old-timer piece to Seung-Geon's accompaniment. It was a well-performed piece, with the girl [Claire Lundrigan -e.d.-] delivering right timbre of the voice, and the harmonies between the vocalist and Seung-Geon's trombones felt nowhere near the rust of being away from the instrument for more than several days, as some might feel so.

And it felt like Alexandre had been brought a minor reminder, to a distant time back when he wasn't in Quebec. It does feel like once upon a dream, and I don't know what tells me so. Alexandre looked to the right, as he tried his best not to look at the junior officer, whose attention seemed to be mostly focused on getting out of these Ski County roads, and the fellow passenger in a modest, sky blue dress, who seemed too occupied looking out the window.

Claire Lundrigan, did they say? Alexandre looked right, as he couldn't help but to wonder why. It was clear to Alexandre that Claire Lundrigan, who was about a year or two younger than her from vague recollections, was not entirely within the mould of those he had surrounded himself with. If anything from what he had recalled, it wasn't his or Georgie Northwood's ideas to invite her, and he could tell, at least from how quickly she had settled into that of his sister's crowd, that she wasn't a big skiier either. But she had still been invited after clear insistence by his sister Adelaide, who he found to be both a nuisance and a confidante as any siblings two year apart would. For all the shortcomings and nuisances Addy had brought, she was still her mother's favourite and Alexandre wasn't.

He turned his head around and looked to the window on his left. The other party were still on the other car, a much more spacious Rhys-Rykers Kollur with Addy and a few others on the ride, while it was just Alexandre and Claire, positioned in awkward position just half an hour after the warmth of the fireside in the living room. With it being clear that they were not talking to each other, and perhaps Alexandre finding himself in good time to think.

In all honesty, Alexandre was bearing heavy weight on his shoulder. Being the Prince of Abitibi, after all, had meant both the honours, and in some ways perks, but more importantly the weight that would accompany it. Alexandre had always thought of the position he was in, that of being the future King-Emperor of Quebec and Shingoryeo, to be a double-edged sword, one where he was expected to behave and also restrain at the same time. Him being exposed to the rigours early on, with strong expectations provided by Christine the Second and Caspian, Duke of Halifax, nonetheless was a sign of high hopes his parents held for Alexandre. Of course, whether he had followed to the level of expectation was another story, with Alexandre often choosing to follow his instincts and enjoy the offerings on line.

Quietly and slowly, as they inched closer to the heart of Songak, Alexandre found the thoughts of the weight on his shoulder turn complicated. His direct future was a more straightforward one, with Alexandre looking to follow the shoes of his grandfather the late Jacques IX, and uncle His Royal Highness Philippe, to the Royal Quebecois Navy. But there was also the matter of finding a 'certainty'. This wasn't something that he had completely set course for, but with every social circle at Joongyeong and abroad (propelled by none other than The Latest Whistledown) talking about 'it', as he had gotten older and more seasoned from his Avon-gillespie days, he couldn't exactly ignore that. Understandable, considering the age his parents and grandparents had met, but would not be enough to suggest.

As the wilderness would subside, to be replaced by the sights of Songak proper, this would continue to persist for Alexandre. The Arlenian and Alexandrian buildings, dating back to the days of Shingoryeoite Empire in the 1800s and early 1900s, looked large and impressive, while also filled with grime and depression, at same time. People were everywhere on the streets, their walking pace seemingly slower than how they were, as they were near their arrival at the Department of Sound. Claire looked first at Alexandre, who looked at him back, before turning around to disengage her safety belt. Alexandre nodded and followed along, giving his security agent a look of clearance, as the car started to slow down.

Once the car slowed down to a halt in front of the gigantic nightclub complex, Alexandre quietly let the security open his door, following Claire who herself would open the door right around the same moment as they would be followed by the other car and no less than a half-dozen members of the security, who would get in the way to ensure they would make their way inside the nightclub. Alexandre and Claire would be the first to go, not looking much at one another as they would walk into the VIP entrance.

Multitude of camera flashes would follow, as they would try to photograph the individuals, but the on-site security would manage to intervene just on time. For those aware of the arc, one could notice how on some moments, there comes attached a sense of pre-determinism with the way these events would align, and sometimes, it is just as easy to make a guess and find yourself 'on point', so to speak.

This would prove to be one of those moments, with signs being how quickly they had come and prevented the media from making appearances, or how they had managed to set up the occasion so quickly after a call from the certain figures of security entourage. They then would be followed by minor whispers that they would first send one another, as they walked in a row, not too fast, but not too slow either.

'I could tell that you are not exactly anticipating the visit,' whispered Alexandre from behind. 'Are you feel out of it all?'

'No,' Claire answered, as they entered into the nightclub. A glare between the young security officer and the nightclub personnel were all that's needed. 'But I don't think you are, either.'

'No, let Addy and everybody else enchant "the Princess", or so to speak, but I am not here for that,' he would respond with sense of certainty. 'But I do want to ask you something when we are inside.'

Claire felt a light shiver at that moment, but gave a light nod. 'Alright,' was what she would say.'

by **Polar Islandstates** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:59 pm

SOUR CHERRIES
Volume Two; Chapter 4
iiii.Federico
Volume One
i.Alexsandr - ii.Jasmine - iii.Stina - iiii.Federico - v.Jos - vi.Silas - vii.Marta - viii.Filip – ix.Sebastian - x.Ingeborg - xi.Aino - xii.The Twelfth
Volume Three
** ** ** ** **

Alexsandr pinched himself slightly as he said the words out loud. Federico Aalto, here, in a small greasy café in the back-channels of Bjarnarey, at the same time as he was. Being able to walk into a place like this and see one person you vaguely knew was one thing, but to have two of them present was another thing entirely. Not to mention that one of them was the by-all-accounts soon-to-be installed manager of the national football team.

“Uh, yes. It is.” answered Aalto, slightly bashfully, “Hello, Alexsandr. Nice to see you again.”

“Thor’s beard, Federico,” gasped Alexsandr, standing up to shake Aalto’s hand as he removed himself from behind his laptop and walked over to the table Alexsandr was still sharing with Jasmine and, increasingly, Stina as well, “what on earth are you doing here?!”

“Scouting, officially. It’s gone a bit wrong though, so...” answered Aalto, before addressing Alexsandr’s company, “sorry, where are my manners? Hi. I’m Federico.”

“Federico, this is Jasmine and Stina,” said Alexsandr by way of assisting, “Jasmine you may remember from the television, and Stina is an executive in the shipping industry. Jasmine and Stina, this is Federico Aalto; assistant manager of the Terns, for now at least.”

Several of the other café patrons looked around at this. Alexsandr van Sorensen was one thing, this was another event entirely. Alexsandr didn’t exactly blame them for staring, given the circumstances. It was as unlikely as it was improbable, but what was it they said? Truth is stranger than fiction.

“Well, I have to say this is a surprise, Federico,” continued Alexsandr, “of all the places to bump into the assistant manager of the nation team, you turn up here.”

“Did you say you were scouting?” asked Jasmine.

“Yes, officially,” Aalto replied, gesturing to and then taking the last remaining empty seat at the table when Alexsandr nodded emphatically, “although that turned out to be a bit of a bust.”

“Why, what was the tip?” asked Alexsandr, frowning slightly.

“Some young lad called; what was it again...” said Federico slowly, going back to his table briefly to get his mobile phone, “Barney Branta. Supposedly he plays for Maritime Hove, although when I got there he wasn’t in the youth squad for their match, wasn’t training with the senior squad, and I couldn’t find anyone who’d ever heard of him.”

“So, then how...?”

Aalto shrugged.

“Seems a bit odd, if you don’t mind me saying so,” said Alexsandr, “isn’t unearthing youth talent usually someone else’s job title??”

“Normally, yes, but I do like to get out there and watch the players for myself. Plus, the note I got was quite insistent...” said Aalto slowly, wondering how much to reveal.

The truth was that for years now, ever since the Terns had been reformed and sent back out there into international competition, Federico Aalto had been living a double life. At least, in a professional capacity.

With two phones and an increasing collection of blood pressure medication, Aalto had been having secondary instructions sent to him by the OO at almost every single match, most of which to do with contradicting or undermining the actual manager, Iosef Miroshnichenko, in some way that would be visible to those at home. As a result of which, the fact the two didn’t see eye-to-eye on most topics was relatively common knowledge these days. As true as some of those disagreements might have been even without the encouragements of the OO, the manner in which they’d been brought to the attention of everyone around them as totally artificial.

Not only that, but the OO had been keen to stress that their involvement remained a total secret.

Every so often, a handler or some other anonymous face from the OO would pop up and collar him for a meeting. Mostly these would be impromptu meetings where they were as much about making sure Aalto knew he was being watched at all times, but occasionally it was the case that they wanted him to be in a certain place at a certain time, and he had to make sure he’d be there.

When he’d received the text message tipping him off about a player named Barney Branta, Aalto had assumed that this was another case of that, and had spent most of his time in the city so far looking around for someone who might have been about to leap out and lecture him on the importance of whatever it was he was being asked to do now. He already knew there was no Barney Branta playing for Maritime Hove. Even if he hadn’t already taken his job seriously enough to know every promising young footballer in the Federation before they’d reached the point the national set-up could use them, the name ‘Barney Branta’ was so obviously made up that he hoped he’d’ve been able to deduce a set-up even if he wasn’t already in almost weekly ‘contact’ with the nation’s domestic intelligence gathering network.

In fact, it was only because of that existing contact that he was there. Without that knowledge, the fact that as far as he was aware he was the only person outside the OO who knew about his other set of secret instructions, the text would’ve been dismissed as a hoax and ignored. Instead, he took it seriously, and packed his bags as soon as he could find space on a flight further north.

“Well, I’m sure they’ll turn up somewhere,” said Stina, trying to reassure Aalto.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m sure they will,” he answered, distracted by the turmoil inside him.

He was sure someone would, anyway. He still suspected he’d been sent to Bjarnarey for a reason. He knew it wasn’t for a legitimate scouting mission before he’d even set off, but if there really wasn’t going to be an OO officer jumping out and dragging him down a side-alley, then, what was it?

Relief and optimism started to spark inside him, competing with the distrust and responsibility of all that lying. Perhaps it wasn’t the OO at all?

As honest as many of the disagreements he may have had with Miroshnichenko might have been, Aalto hated the way he was being manipulated into creating a soap opera out of things on the sidelines. He was the assistant, after all. He’d been hired to do that job, and he was happy to do so. No, Miroshnichenko’s wasn’t anything he’d’ve done himself, but airing dirty laundry in public wasn’t his style, and he hated the ‘wounded puppydog’ appearance on his boss’ face every time it happened.

Sometimes it was as simple as calling for a substitution before Miroshnichenko had a chance to – usually Emmanuele Niemi – and other times he was asked to coerce his boss into a fully fledged tactical argument on the sideline. It didn’t matter which course they took, all the interventions made Federico feel equally dirty the next day. He hated lying to Miroshnichenko. He might have been an infuriating tactician, but he wasn’t a bad person, and Aalto didn’t understand what the OO, the VFA, or The Party, would stand to gain anything from making him look like an idiot.

Nonetheless, it was a weight that Aalto had been tasked with carrying himself, and even now he was finding himself pained with the frustration of not being able to tell Alexsandr the real reason he was in Bjarnarey.

“But you say you were headed back to the airport?” continued Stina.

“Well, yes.” Answered Aalto, entirely truthfully this time, “I’m from Külmsaar originally, and I was just headed home to Agheim when I got the news through that my flight was going to be cancelled. We don’t get a lot of direct flights from Agheim to places like BJarnarey, so I suspect it’s the same delay that’s put your colleagues’ timetable back.”

“Oh, you could hear all that, could you?”

“I’m afraid so,” responded Aalto with a slight grimace, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, honestly. But, your voice was carrying quite clearly.”

“Mm. I’d blame the acoustics or you being nosey,” laughed Stina, “but an entire career’s worth of similar feedback would tell me that that would be a waste of time!”

“Still though,” interjected Alexsandr, getting back to his original scepticism, “I would’ve thought that after the campaign you’ve just got home from you might have wanted to have a little break of some sort?”

“Campaign?” asked Jasmine.

“The qualification campaign. The 'Cup of Harmony’,” answered Alexsandr, “are you not knackered, Federico?” He nodded at the television screens around the café, not for the first time that evening, where slow-motion footage was showing the Terns’ final toothless showing against Kandorith, a result at the end of a qualification campaign that ruined someone else’s chances of making it past a group stage for once.

“Well, yes, admittedly, but not time like the present to get back on the horse, I suppose.” laughed Federico weakly.

“Even so...”

Jasmine frowned, observing the muted pundits silently discussing something in front of a picture of Iosef Miroshnichenko, and then recalling something that Alexsandr had said earlier on.

“Sorry, did you say ‘for now’, earlier?”

“Mm?” queried Alexsandr.

“Earlier, when you introduced Federico here to us. You said he was the assistant ‘for now’. Do I take it you will soon be seeking new employment?”

“Not exactly,” winced Aalto, clearly uncomfortable with the direction this was going.

"Not at all exactly, no," smiled Alexsandr, missing the cues entirely and slapping Aalto warmly on the back, "in fact from what I've heard, everyone thinks Federico here is up for a promotion..."

“Well, Iosef is still in charge of the Terns, and for as lon-“

“Nonsense,” interrupted Alexsandr, “you know as well as I do that Iosef is a lame duck. Your promotion to being head coach is as much of a foregone conclusion as this election next month.”

“Mmm.” Aalto tried his best to look sceptical, but he knew it was coming. He could tell. The assignments from his ‘handlers’ had become ever so slightly different recently. If you didn’t know what you were looking for you might have missed it, but it was there. Slightly fewer ‘spontaneous’ decisions, and more acts that made him look like a leader. Miroshnichenko was being prepared for a very public fall, and that unsettled him even more than being asked to secretly undermine him.

After all, without Miroshnichenko in charge, who or what would the OO instruct Aalto to subvert next time.

“Aside from anything else,” continued Alexsandr, “I’m sure the powers that be would love anther success story coming out of Agheim.”

“Oh, that’s a good point actually,” interjected Jasmine before Aalto could open his mouth to say anything, “you did say you were from Külmsaar.”

Aalto audibly sighed.

“What’s up? Asked Stina.

“Well, it’s just that I’m a bit sick of that. That whole thing. The Party and its approach to East Külmsaar is, well, it’s bullshit is what it is. Sorry, but it is.” Said Aalto glumly, looking around at first to see if anyone was listening at first, and then deciding he didn’t really care.

Jasmine’s journalism instincts continued to work overtime. Sniffing out a story, she gestured at Aalto to elaborate.

“I mean, we all know the Secretary General’s history, obviously we do, and I’m sorry for what happened to him, and his grandfather,” said Aalto, “but East Külmsaar has changed since then. We’ve moved on. No, the split down the middle of the Natalis straight isn’t ideal, but, you know?”

Aalto looked around, he was ranting, he knew he was, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“We’re not quite the defenceless losers that it suits some people to claim, is all. We crack on. That’s what Saari do. Sometimes it feels like we’re made to believe that we’re all down there living in fear of an imminent Sargossan invasion force, but, who has the appetite for that? Soluca? Pull the other one. If you ever spent any time down there, you’d see. You’d all see, and you’d all understand. But nobody does, because nobody goes to East Külmsaar unless they have to. And very few people have to. I mean, I get it; why would you need to go to East Külmsaar? But, it is frustrating. We have a closer history with Sargossa than people want to admit: my name is Federico. We don’t need the Federation to behave like an over-protective parent and then blame us for the reason the borders were closed all that time.”

“You think you’re a scapegoat?”

Aalto pulled a face. “I think the Sargossan threat has been overplayed, in recent years. Initially, sure. My dad told me all sorts of stories of before it all kicked off, and I’m old enough to remember the whole thing very vividly. It was awful People were displaced. People died. But...”

“...it was a generation ago?” offered Alexsandr.

“Yeah. We moved on. We had to.” Aalto shrugged. “Feels like The Party doesn’t want you all to know we did. But, we did.”

Jasmine winced empathetically, feeling the pain and frustration in Aalto’s voice.

“I just wish people could see the real Agheim,” continued Aalto, “and could see we don’t need or want you all to keep bringing up old wounds. Why can’t we all just move on? I know my limitations; I don’t understand politics, I don’t understand economics, or big business like you’ve all just been talking about. I understand two things; the people of East Külmsaar, and football. And it feels like The Party is going out of its way to misrepresent both of them.”

Years of keeping his mouth shut was flooding out of Aalto now. He couldn’t have stopped even if he wanted to. He’d found a place he could open his mouth, and he was using it. To hell with any OO that may or may not have been there listening.

“I just wish there was a way to educate the electorate, you know?”

“Bit late for that now,” sighed Alexsandr.

“Sorry, I don’t understand,” asked Stina, “how is the government misrepresenting football?”

Aalto opened his mouth to talk, then stopped himself before he almost said something about his secret tasks. He’d gotten carried away, and briefly felt a surge of panic.

“By banning organised fan groups, for a start,” offered Alexsandr, seeing Aalto struggling to form words, “there’s no history of hooliganism here. Not really. This isn’t Mytanija. And yet, the Twitchers are all still conspicuously absent from Terns games.”

“It’s not how I remember it as a player, that’s for sure.” Said Aalto, grateful for the subtle change in topic.

“They’re scared, that’s all. Organised fan groups offer exactly what The Party are scared of;” said Alexsandr slowly, “a collective voice, speaking as one consenting group rather than being dictated to.”

“One they can’t control,” agreed Stina.

“And in the public eye,” said Jasmine, joining in, “either on the streets or in the background of television.”

“No wonder The Party OO’d them into disbanding,” said Aalto, somewhat awkwardly creating a new verb in the process.

Alexsandr sighed and looked over at the football scarves that were pinned to the ceiling of the almost-grubby café.

“If only that still existed,” he said wistfully, “not just on the terraces, but everywhere; a real passion for activism. An alternative flag to walk behind. Some ‘club colours’, even.”

“I bet it’s still there, Alexsandr,” said Jasmine, “there’s an appetite for something, I’m sure of it.”

“Not even just on the ground level, either,” chuckled Stina, “my colleagues and I are all fed up as well.”

“And it would help us to show everyone the real East Külmsaar, or the real power of a football club,” agreed Aalto, “but like you say, there’s a reason they were outlawed.”

“Not long until the idea of ‘an opposition’ follows them,” said Jasmine, leaning back in her chair, defeated, “and then what? All pretence of free speech? Free thought? Free anything? Free movement? Are the borders about to come crashing back down again?”

“I suspect not, actually,” interjected a new voice behind them from another table, making the four of them jump and turn in their seats, “sorry to interrupt. I, er, couldn’t help overhearing...”

Aalto’s heart had skipped a beat at the initial comment. The OO! He’d said too much, revealed his frustrations, and now his world was about come crashing down around his ears...

Until at least, the man had spoken again. The man spoke perfect Valhallan, but with a slightly odd accent that Aalto couldn’t quite place. The OO wouldn’t hire from foreign pools, that would be almost unheard of, wouldn’t it? No, this was something else.

The man stood up, brushed some muffin crumbs from his stone-washed jeans, and attempted to straighten his creased band t-shirt. Alexsandr recognised the band as one that was last active at least twenty years ago, and actively left-wing in their politics. The band had long-gone, and so, Alexsandr had thought, had all of their merchandise in some badly disguised amnesty. For which; read ‘OO-based culling of dissent’. Clearly, this piece had been hidden away somewhere beyond their reach.

The man’s grey hair was receding, and his little round glasses hid some beady eyes that were sharp, intelligent, analytical, and penetratingly blue. There was something about his Alexsandr recognised, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“I don’t know how much you know,” continued the stranger as he approached their table, “but I have a strong suspicion that your government – our government, even – needs the borders to remain open. We can’t afford to close the borders; we need foreign money. More than they’ve been letting on, I suspect.”

Jasmine and Stina shared a look of brief confusion. The two footballing men they were with might not have known that either way, but surely that piece of information was their remit? And yet, this information seemed to have blindsided them slightly.

The man looked at them, inviting further comments. None were forthcoming, and instead four wary and slightly distrustful faces stared blankly back at him.

“But, anyway,” he continued, “if it’s information about how the people are really feeling, I actually might be able to help with that.”

“But, h-“

“Hello, Alexsandr,” smiled the stranger, holding out a hand for Alexsandr to shake, “I believe you know my father. My name is Jos; Jos Einarsson.”

Immediately, Alexsandr could place him.

No wonder he’d looked vaguely familiar; that Einarsson jawline should’ve been recognisable at first sight.

Not for the first time that evening, and not for the last either, Alexsandr’s synaesthesia kicked in.

He might have been sitting in a greasy little café down a back-channel in Bjarnarey, but Alexsandr could taste something: sour cherries.

** ** ** ** **
Volume Three
i.Alexsandr - ii.Jasmine - iii.Stina - iiii.Federico - v.Jos - vi.Silas - vii.Marta - viii.Filip – ix.Sebastian - x.Ingeborg - xi.Aino - xii.The Twelfth
Volume One

by **Saint Eleanor** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:00 pm

Group of Six meeting (II) --- Gnejs 0-2 SAINT ELEANOR
Participants: Gentle Breeze, Reniira Clevinger, Stephen Mitcham ~ Bridget Coombe [C], Cathy Winchester [VC], Kichirō Matsuda [ballot]
Location: A conference room, the Universal Hotel; Mollywood, The Mainframe, DEL

First things first - SMASHING RESULT. Better than I expected. Better than Gentle Breeze expected, apparently. Credit to GB for telling the lads and laddies "stay back, hit it long."

Key in with the early surprise, eight minutes in, looped above all the defenders, got onto it past the offside trap which apparently wasn't intended??? fraction of inches though, well played David

T. Andersson was not a threat!! Bridget dropped back, not expected of her, but was excellent third CB. So really we were playing with two sweepers which given football these days, is, well, LMAO

Exandra + Cathy - well done also, wingers were also sloppy in and out of possession, your counterpressing was a good part of that

Kavezalea was also very very good, floated all over the place, reverse Uno card on the "but Saint Eleanor doesn't know how to deal with shadow strikers!"
Scored two goals, first was disallowed because this time he did get caught offside, second was an hour in nice solo effort a bit of a dribble goalie had no chance from 30yds out

We didn't need to sub Kavezalea off for David, he was that good

Newcastle and Northend proved effective decoys, too many times the Gnejs wingbacks thought they were going to boom down the pitch, but no

All in all a vehement success for GB's onboarding experiment, Priscilla in shambles

Saint Eleanor player ratings: 10/10 for everybody, we all worked together, we beat the second seed of the group, really good place ahead of last two games against Hapilopper [4 seed] then Saterun [3 seed]

Any thoughts for Hapilopper then???
GB: "They'll be a bit like Gnejs but less organised, we should relax a bit on the wingers"
Stephen: "Rod Cutt is a dirty bastard, we should go through the middle - don't want to risk injuries"
Wunderbar: "Withdraw the wide midfielders, put Goldsmith and Key up front, me up front, put Sylvia at the back"
Stephen: "Lydia would be a better option, she's the bastard"
Bridget: "I don't see a problem with any of this, no need for me to drop back, Lydia and I will provide cover"
Cathy: "Who is going to back up for us at the wings"
Bridget: "Oh, we will, this is me repaying our friendship"
Stephen: "You'd be the ones doing the revenge, please don't attack, you don't want to get Cut by Cutt"
Wunderbar: "I take it we don't need to man-mark Stan McLamb"
GB: "That's correct, Hapilopper play a 4-2-3-1, our wide players will take care of theirs, watch out for the other two"
Bridget: "Dutifully obliged!" - you're the captain not one of the uncapped people Priscilla called up, don't do the Army LARP please
Cathy: "We have the rest of the team sorted, what happens to Steve"
Me: "He goes in the starting lineup for this, can be taken off for Kavezalea but we need the extra experience"
Cathy: "Can Exandra and I push forward"
Me: "Not so far that either of you run into Rob Cutt, if you see Rob then run back"
Bridget: "This is depressing already can we please talk about where we can go shopping" - your mum is a philosophy schoolteacher Bridget you have no right to call anything depressing

Also that is a bad attitude Bridget, I know you can be a bit sarcastic but seriously, don't call this depressing, we're here discussing how we can beat Hapilopper

ANYWAY WE NOW KNOW HOW TO BEAT HAPILOPPER
ATTACK DOWN THE MIDDLE
WINGERS SHOULD CROSS EARLY AND OFTEN LIKE GNEJS
DONT BITE FIRST
IF THEY BITE - BITE BACK!!! EVEN BRIDGET HAS 2+ CAREER REDS
BE CAUTIOUS WHEN MARKING, DON'T MAN MARK

4-2-2-2:
___________ ARIELLE __________
CATHY - SAM - ESTHER - EXANDRA
_______ BRIDGET - LYDIA _______
_____ WUNDERBAR - STEVE _____
_________ RICK - DAVID _________

This has been Reniira Clevinger speaking, cheers for taking part

Turf Boys on Patrol
Episode III: Waria

That evening in Sunset Gates, on the verge of nighttime

The Sunset Gates Community Field is the last place you'd expect to find a handful of fifteen-foot-tall statues of some religious figure called Waria, either commissioned a few minutes ago or back in the nineties - it's impossible to tell which - by the Army to lure the ne'erdowells who they had apparently been informed worshipped her.

Bad information. Around four o'clock that afternoon, you had maybe ten or twelve of the Turf Boys, none of them wearing identifiable club colours, huddled around the statues. They were probably lured there by the posters, written in mostly-perfect Rulandese, indicating that there was to be such a celebration there at that time. In fact, there was no such celebration. Not even by the Quebecois accounting. So they were just huddled there, doing nothing whatsoever, except maybe risking their eventual arrest.

This, Lieutenant Tarrant fancied, was an opportunity to get none other than Lydia-Rose Meldrum on the line. "Before you ask, Lieutenant, I understand Rulandese perfectly fine. Today isn't a celebration of Waria. If anything, it's probably a celebration of football. Not Xârëgs d'Îrrî, though; alas."

"Okay. Émérí Jöléé, who's a big player in the Rülândéá Kôstä faction of the Turf Boys - a street gang I'm sure you're aware of - came to me a few minutes ago saying he knew about many leaders of the gang coming against you. Do you know why?"

"Clash of cultures. I'm good at most things, they largely aren't good at much except engineering shop."

"Do they hate all aspirational students?"

"By no means. Most of the good ones, they leave alone. I suspect I'm being targetted for being a... quarter-Farf who doesn't quite fit in. I love my granny."

"I would, too. Anyway, what information do you have about them?"

"Émérí's given you some. Lêj Feêr, the man who killed Lônâís - well, Lônâís hated me. You might want to approach him for more information; he's 43 Bryant Street, Sunset Gates."

"Do you know the names of any of the boys who've told you they're attending the meeting? I have reason to believe this trap Sergeant Pugh and I set, far from being a mishap, is actually an excellent honeypot. But don't tell them."

"Tôsgo Vímaó. A decently inept low-ranking leader, let's say; Dí Maozöxê through and through. Shouldn't be in the setup; loose tongue, will probably tell you all you need to know about his branch. Mêlçôr Êrsáreng, probably; he told me he was coming but he's utterly shit at keeping dates. Rülândéá Kôstä; decent mates with Lônâís back in November or December time, was meant to take out Lêj a few weeks ago but played video games instead."

"Nifty, Lydia."

"Lydia-Rose."

"Regardless of your name, you and them will meet again... on purpose. I'll call Lieutenant Smith, ask them to arrest the bastards. All of them. And bring them here."

A few minutes after the meeting ends, a man in a suit that's a bit more unkempt than you'd expect from the Army - but somehow is - comes up to Sergeant Victor Pugh in another room. "Your information's shit. They're actually a Quebecois folk religion. Nothing to do with the Farves at all. I think we'll need to find a few more ledes on this one, guv."

by **Eura** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:00 pm

Euree wooree onesie versy wursy Naixi waixy onesie

“It was a spiffing spectacle of terrific football” oh no it wasn’t. It melted the Creator’s brain trying to imagine it, and to write about it without the resources needed to do so, which is why the above scoreline has autotranslated into Insufferable Twee. Eura drew one-one after dominating the game – they led through a stonking strike from an unexpected source in Martin Pearce and should have won it.

Unfortunately, Anonymous Naixese No. 3 was on hand in the 90th minute to punch the ball into the goal, just seconds after blatantly handing the referee 10,000 NSD and poisoning the Euran goalkeeper. We would be able to prove it (honest!) but unfortunately all of the camerapeople simultaneously had their frontal lobes replaced by porcelain ducks, killing them instantly and ensuring the moment was not televised.

The Creator’s fragile cranium will have to be stronger – there will be more results like this if he continues to demand Project Shithouse from his minions. Anyway, he’s still mid-episode, so here’s the Euran lineup and substitutes from the game, as if they were all nicknamed in the fashion of a film by renowned Euran geezers and gangsters movie director, Pie Stichy:

YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING
A CUP OF HARMONY PRODUCTION,
STARRING…
Sam “Rambo” Norman - the Goalkeeper
Ana “Bimbo” Mason – the Right Wing Back
Martin “Tipple” Pearce – the Right Centre Back
Jack “Guv” Menard – The Centre Back / the Boss
Quentin “Poker” Phillips – The Left Centre Back
Isaac “Posho” Doherty – The Left Wing Back
Dean “Twix” Barnes – The Right Winger
Jermaine “Mumble” Gates – The Right Central Midfielder
Oscar “Mad” Vincent – The Left Central Midfielder
Owen “Dingle” James – The Left Winger

and introducing

Owen “Pingu” Holden – The Striker

THE SUBSTITUTES…

David “Caps Lock” Warrington – the Goalkeeper (on for the poisoned one)
Jonathan “Blockhead” Dennis – the Defensive Substitute
Kevin “Bingo” Sherwood – the other Defensive Substitute
Tom “Newbie” Hussain – the Panicked Attacking Substitute
Alex “Nepo” Sharp – the Even More Panicked Attacking Substitute

WITH THANKS TO…

Lee “Dumbo” Lemming – Sam Norman’s poisoned body double (posthumous)
The referee – A wanker, as usual
A bunch of names we can’t be bothered to type down – The camerapeople (posthumous)
A three headed beast, corrupting the souls of our young and invading your dreams, spelling out the numbers “six-six-six”, before turning your deepest hopes into a fresh, never-ending nightmare – Max Barry

A “THE CREATOR” STORY

THE EURAN NATIONAL TEAM WILL RETURN IN…

PUT YOUR KYTLER IN MY PENINSULAE (18+)

‘Maxwell! You must stop this madness.’ The protests of Maxwell Danger’s underlings were falling on deaf ears.
‘Hey, so, uh, I don’t know if you’re like, downloaded into my matrix or not, you really fuckin’ should be but uh, listen, here’s the update bro. We’re doin’ this. It’s just so us.’
‘But Mr Danger, it makes no sense. You’re one of the richest men in Eura. You are hugely successful with your media operations, tech companies, a football club, hotels and cruise ships, oil, nuclear...the lot. And that’s not to mention the branching out into cheap commercial space launches. Why would you risk it all with such a foolish venture?’
‘Listen, bro, you’ve just gotta’ like, picture it. Right? Like fucking imagineer this shit right into your cortex dude. Yeah right there.’ (He tapped the underling on the head, in case you were wondering). ‘That’s the real shit dude. Let it in there and invert your narrative. We’re going to like, integrate the brain stem into the social dynamic, you know? Digital dopamine time baby. Now get out there to the city and fuck the streets until they say “yes please more daddy”. That’s right. Reinvent. Overpower. Just do it bro.’
‘B-‘
‘DO ITTTTTT.’

by **Delaclava** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 7:05 pm

Not much to say about Day 2 - after all, you can't win the tournament. You might get advanced today, or you might get eliminated, but most likely, it'll be something in between. But it's an important day, and it's time to make the move.

Cutoff!

Group A
Milchama 2–1 Reçueçn
Delaclava 3–2 Brannfjord (scorinated by Tumbra)

# Group A                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Delaclava                          2   1  1  0    6   5  +1    4
  Milchama                           2   1  1  0    5   4  +1    4
3 Brannfjord                         2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Reçueçn                            2   0  0  2    1   3  −2    0 E

Group B
City of Myrtle Beach 0–2 Kandorith
Cap Nord 0–1 Squornshelan Remnant States

# Group B                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kandorith                          2   1  1  0    3   1  +2    4
2 Squornshelan Remnant States        2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Cap Nord                           2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 City of Myrtle Beach               2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0 E

Group C
Independent Athletes from Quebec 0–1 Beefsteak City (scorinated by Tumbra)
Archalit 3–4 Stevencousin

# Group C                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Beefsteak City                     2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
  Stevencousin                       2   1  1  0    5   4  +1    4
3 Independent Athletes from Quebec   2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
4 Archalit                           2   0  0  2    4   6  −2    0 E

Group D
Naixi 2–1 Krytenia
Eura 2–2 The Kytler Peninsulae

# Group D                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Kytler Peninsulae              2   1  1  0    4   2  +2    4
2 Naixi                              2   1  1  0    3   2  +1    4
3 Eura                               2   0  2  0    3   3   0    2
4 Krytenia                           2   0  0  2    1   4  −3    0 E

Group E
Cassadaigua 0–3 Pasarga
Polar Islandstates 0–1 Xanneria

# Group E                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Xanneria                           2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    6
2 Pasarga                            2   1  0  1    4   2  +2    3
3 Cassadaigua                        2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
4 Polar Islandstates                 2   0  0  2    0   2  −2    0

Group F
Qasden 1–1 Cardenao
Sarzonia 0–2 Huayramarca

# Group F                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Huayramarca                        2   2  0  0    7   3  +4    6 Q
2 Qasden                             2   0  2  0    1   1   0    2
3 Cardenao                           2   0  1  1    4   6  −2    1
  Sarzonia                           2   0  1  1    0   2  −2    1

Group G
Hapilopper 1–0 Saint Eleanor
Saterun 2–3 Gnejs

# Group G                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Saint Eleanor                      2   1  0  1    2   1  +1    3
2 Saterun                            2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3
3 Hapilopper                         2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Gnejs                              2   1  0  1    3   4  −1    3

Group H
Audioslavia 1–0 Acastanha
Juvencus 0–0 Carpathia and Ruthenia

# Group H                          Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Juvencus                           2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
2 Acastanha                          2   1  0  1    4   3  +1    3
3 Audioslavia                        2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
4 Carpathia and Ruthenia             2   0  1  1    2   4  −2    1

Cup of Harmony 87 - Rosters/RPs/Results

CoH 87 Part 1

Turf Boys on Patrol: episode III

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