
Squad for World Cup 95
GOALKEEPERS
## Position Name Age ClubAudioslavian goalkeepers tend to be wild-eyed heretics, preaching forbidden sermons from the Gospel According to Saint Get Rid Of It Then?!. Your average Audioslavian goalie is about 6'1 max and more likely to punch crosses to safety rather than risk going for a catch. When the ball's at the other end of the field, Audioslavian keepers can be found strutting around the edge of their area like a peacock, shouting instructions at their strikers as if the speed of sound didn't exist. Current number one Creighton is 5'11 and stocky, quieter than usual but making up for volume shortcomings with his heavy use of violent sexual imagery when shouting. Audioslavia is a solid 6/10 for goalkeepers.
1 G Constance Creighton 33 Shamrock Cathair
21 G Curipurinho 33 AC Izotz Zubia
22 G Hein Hélder 20 Cazadores Cathair
Centre Halves
## Position Name Age ClubAudioslavian centre halves are tall by local standards (5'10 - 6'2) but in international football are often lacking a bit of power compared to their opposite numbers. Bolding is an exception in terms of power - the wide-set full-back-turned-centre-half is not so good in the air but boasts a high top speed. 16 year-old Uriah Malcom will likely be on the bench, but may be the shortest centre-half in the tournament at just 5'6. Fortunately, he's possibly also the quickest. Audioslavians are 6/10 for centre-halves, which is one of the reasons Savigliane international Valerién Tibère was drafted into the squad the second his former nation dissolved.
2 D RC Everton Bolding 33 Sabrefell Moths
5 D C Sandy Harkness 32 Cardonia FC
6 D C Valerién Tibère 30 1830 Cathair
15 D RC Uriah Malcolm 18 1830 Cathair
16 D RC Ronan Corver 23 Shamrock Cathair
Full Backs
## Position Name Age ClubAudioslavian full-backs are basically wingers that can stay sober for long enough to pay their taxes. Typically a 9/10 position for Audioslavian teams, the current 'Post-Tiago Brown' era of full-backs haven't quite set the world alight. Alaba has usually opted for Bolding or midfielder Reuben Corkhill at right-back for a little more solidity, and may employ teenager Uriah Malcom there occasionally this tournament. On the left side, Pelle has finally earned a call-up after his strong performances plying his trade in Kelssek.
3 D LC Frey Pelle 27 Clayquot City
13 D CL Adalberto Mazzarelli 30 Osarese Marcadia
20 D R Alex Bocker 20 Cazadores Cathair
26 D/M LC Christian Ragland 22 Oljestaden IF
Defensive Midfielders
## Position Name Age ClubAlaba's insistence on having a versatile, all-action DM at Zozi has rubbed off on the national team, who tend to select at least three in each squad. Higgs is generally accepted as being the better of these three, but Alaba trusts Munir to play the water-carrier more than he does Higgs to play the spoiler. Bulls teams are typically 6/10 for defensive midfielders. For information on what happens when a nation of shithouses produces top quality defensive midfielders, please consult our entry on Brenecian Midfielders, which you might find under the subheading of Major National League Imports
4 DM C Iker Munir 32 AC Izotz Zubia
17 DM C Lucas Keir 34 Shamrock Cathair
24 DM C Iñigo Higgs 32 Cazadores Cathair
Central Midfielders
## Position Name Age ClubAudioslavian football is always a bit 4/10 for central midfielders. Cappadonna is a reliable playmaker but is getting a little long in the tooth. Buvalelli is the second of the Savigliano imports in this roster, and takes over the all-action role vacated by a retiring Stelea.
8 M C Gabriel Buvalelli 32 Osarese Marcadia
18 M C Unai Cappadonna 35 AC Izotz Zubia
19 D/M C Reuben Corkhill 36 KT Moreazerua
Wingers
## Position Name Age ClubTypically a 10/10 position for the Bulls, what with the national team's historical insistence on playing a counter-attacking game. Marc-Antoine Trigintillion, the bald-headed Shamrock winger, is the star here. Also at Shamrock, Brandon Bruhn is a firecracker on the right hand side. At 5'5 and lightly built he can be bullied by opposing full-backs, but his terrier-like resilience and acceleration makes him plainly annoying to play against.
7 AM CR Brandon Bruhn 24 Shamrock Cathair
11 M L Marc-Antoine Trigintillion 28 Shamrock Cathair
14 M RL Gaetano Torrado 30 KT Itzalovalle
23 M L Gael Davie 26 Bombarralense
Forwards
## Position Name Age ClubAudioslavian strikers are often solid 8/10s, and will almost always be listed with the numbers 9, 10, 12 and 19. Nobody really remembers why. Either way, Roy and Zendagorta are the main attractions here. The former won the league with Osarius Marcadia and now plies his trade for the Rawrcrush Cinematic Universe while you may have seen Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta in an S+T shirt. Half Audioslavian, half Teus, WHZ just goes by the Audioslavian of his two names for the national team. Roy is the finisher, Zendagorta the all-action striker.
9 AM/F C Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta 30 Cazadores Cathair
10 AM/F C Helios Roy 32 Raynor City United
12 AM/F C Jean-Marc Casquecassé 28 1830 Cathair
Style Modifier: -5
Penalties: Zendagorta (placement > power), Roy (tries to be too clever)
Corners: Munir
Free Kicks: Cappadonna (placement), Bolding (power), Munir (cross)
Likely starting lineup: Creighton - Corver (Malcom), Bolding (Corkhill), Harkness, Tibère, Pelle - Bruhn, Buvalelli (Cappadonna), Munir (Higgs), Trigintillion - Roy (Zendagorta)
Potted history
- Audioslavia reached the finals of World Cups 12, 19, 20 and 29, losing all of them and gaining a reputation as a team that chokes.
- After thirty cycles away, Audioslavia returned to win the Baptism of Fire before World Cup 59, won a regional championship in cycle 60 and then won back-to-back World Cups in cycles 63 and 64. That's the golden generation right there.
- Things went back to normal after that. The side lost a few more major finals, including World Cups 67, 69 and 76.
- Recent cycles have seen Audioslavia fall to the midfield in the rankings, failing to qualify for three World Cups in a row before reaching the first round of WC94. That disappointment has been offset by victory in CAFA Cup 3 and Cup of Harmony 83, both in Cycle 91.
- Audioslavia is one of two nations to have won five different major senior titles - BoF, CoH, WC plus two different regional championships. They recently became the only team in history to have recorded 1st, 2nd and 3rd placed finishes in each of the three WCC tournaments, plus regional competition.
- Recently discovered in the history books: A regional tournament for the now-defunct FIFA region, held before World Cup 28. Audioslavia won this tournament, but do not consider it to be an official regional title unless Nepharans are in the room.
Style of Play
- Post Football is the name given to Audioslavia's style of play. It's based on the idea that, the less the game resembles football, the more ill at ease your opponents will be. Audioslavia play dirty, sideways and overly cautiously.
- Kontrapuntzeka is another word for it. Literally meaning counter-attacking, Audioslavia's national team are comfortable playing without the ball and charging forward in numbers when they do finally get it. Each player on this team has a deep understanding of how, when and where to attack on the counter. Losing the ball and allowing the Bulls to hit you on the break can be fatal to even the best teams in the multiverse.
- Audioslavian managers have started trying to get the defenders to pass the ball around the back to entice their opponents forward. Audioslavian defenders hate this almost as much as Audioslavian fans.
- Our footballers tend to be on the shorter, leaner side, with everyone outside of the goalie, centre forward and centre half topping out at about 5'10.
- Audioslavian footballers are often tenacious, with the highest levels of stamina you'll see in world football. Audioslavian sides are often capable of playing at a high-tempo for long periods of time, and wins are often through attrition rather than skill.
- Audioslavian teams are notorious for gamesmanship - the bending of the rules in order to gain an advantage. Players will taunt, feign injury, surround the referee, basically anything if it seems like it'd be beneficial. Audioslavians feel no shame in this. As far as they're concerned, their willingness to go further than the other team is a sign that they're more dedicated than their opponents might be. What might be considered dishonourable behaviour for you might be considered normal in Audioslavia.
- Audioslavian teams fear losing. It's our greatest weakness and, given how this fear manifests itself in big games, a powerful irony
- As well as lacking a bit of raw power, Audioslavian footballers often lack technique compared to their foreign counterparts.
- Above all else though, what Audioslavian national teams often lack is heart. The worse things are going, the worse Audioslavians play. They're the classic bully. When things don't pan out as they expect, they retreat physically and mentally.
The Manager
Old enough to have been born in independent Ittuributa, formerly a player at Royal Association and Apox's Urbanista Trojans, when Alaba joined KT Itzalovalle for just $200,000 in the eleventh transfer window, he surely can't have imagined he would be calling Audioslavia his home for the next twenty-five cycles.
He stayed as a player for over ten years, making dozens of appearances in the UICA Globe Cup, IFCF Champions League and IFCF Challengers Cup. His own declining years coincided with that of his club, however. Limited to a handful of games, and arguably a handful more than he should have been playing as a 39 year-old, Alaba was relegated with Itzi at the end of National League Season 6 (current season: 23). Retiring early the next season, Alaba would find the managerial reigns of the club offered to him as it languished near the bottom of the second division, teetering on the brink of a humiliating descent into the third tier. Alaba scraped together enough points for an eighth placed finish, achieved promotion the following season and, after propelling his club to fifth and sixth placed finishes over the next two seasons, mounted a real charge for the title in season eleven, missing out on the league title to Cazadores by just two points.
With Itzi's board refusing to back Alaba further in the transfer market, the Astograthian would leave the club he'd spent seventeen seasons at before the start of season twelve in a shock move, joining area rivals AC Izotz Zubia, with whom he won a first league title in five seasons for the men in salmon and silver. Three more league titles, two Kirola Cups, two Tropicorp Super Cups would follow over the next eight seasons as Alaba built a side that finished in the top three in every single cycle he managed. Notably in season seventeen, his Zozi side finished a point behind his old club, KT Itzalovalle, a club who would perhaps not have been so competitive at the top had he not worked his magic there a decade prior.
Alaba left Zozi after eight seasons, lured by a not insignificant amount of money from the national team. His first cycle was a mixed-bag, exiting the CAFA Cup early and failing to qualify for the World Cup, but the fact that Audioslavia's performance in qualifying put among the top ten best teams in terms of points scored, and the fact that he managed to lead the side to victory against a stacked line-up of knockout opponents in the Cup of Harmony, meant he was given a contract extension by the FFA. Last cycle's qualification for World Cup 94 - Audioslavia's first foray into the last 32 for three cycles, was considered a success despite a shakier performance in qualifying and a failure to reach the second round.
This team
- Yes, it's five at the back, yes, Alaba is conforming to Audioslavian football's natural defensiveness, perhaps overly so, but it's not just a parked bus. Wing-backs maraud forward when possible, counter-attacking is the name of the game.
- Helios Roy has become the fulcrum of the side's attack. First-person accounts of games are usually written through his eyes.
- Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta, a half-Audioslavian, half-Teus striker with caps for Siovanija and Teusland. S+T's departure from international football freed the striker up to represent another national team, according to the Valrauncion rule, and has duly been selected for Audioslavia.
- Valerién Tibère and Gabriel Buvalelli are both Savigliano players who have been awarded Audioslavian passports following their claim for asylum after the dissolution of their home nation. Both have been selected due to the Valrauncion rule. The former is one of the most dependable centre halves in the league, while former FC Riziéres and Shamrock Cathair midfielder Buvalelli has been a star midfielder in the National League for nine seasons now.

Home, Away
Home shirt is traditionally worn with white shorts and socks, but if our opponents are wearing that colour then we switch to the same deep red as the shirts. This is what usually ends up happening. Dark green or black shorts have been worn on occasion.
I Give My Opponent Permission To:
====================
Choose Scorers: Y
GodMod Goalscoring Events: Y*
Injure Players: Y
GodMod Injury Events Y*
Red Card Players: Y
Yellow Card Players: Y
GodMod Other Events: Y*
* As long as you're cool with the idea that Audioslavian media's interpretation of events might be different.
===================
Style Modifier: -5









(JOV) has been openly disappointed in his team and hopes to turn in one final result against the already-eliminated Rea San Vegas. Hopes are dashed but spirits are high enough. "It's a whirlwind for the likes of myself," admits the manager, but "I have complete faith in my Lemon Sharks to put regional drama out of mind." He does not forget that the Dome is sadly embroiled in the Crime War, sort of a repeat of the Civil War except CC1 is nominally a 'partner' cooperating (or at least refusing to interfere) with military law enforcement actions against the Mafia somewhat-openly funded by the Credit Cartel, an otherwise legal enterprise on the island. "Suddenly jumping to a new context and resituating is nothing new for Domeward nations. We are much more affected by the war than by the Atlantian Oceania scandal or the move to Arrosia. After all, we were always a highly mobile dome, shifting down one waterway or another." Speaking of his adoptive country as "we" is no surprise as the headman has been welcomed with open arms to an occasionally unremarkable side.
FFD






TAX
NTN

















Dan Eastwood
(F)
(F)




(F)



Zachary Orengo, age 48


(F)
(F)



























