[title] The Unhealthy @@DEMONYM@@ Catches the Worm
[desc] A curious new weight loss fad has wormed its way into the world of fat slimming in @@NAME@@ - the deliberate self-infection of tapeworms.
[validity] has a good amount of obese people, capitalist
[option] "Tapeworm therapy is revolutionary!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, one of the procurers of this peculiar slimming aid, whilst squirming in his seat and clutching his stomach. "These days, the disadvantaged amongst us just don't have the time or money to eat balanced diets or do some physical exercise. But with a little help from a little buddy in their tummy to take in all the extra calories they consume, they can look beautiful once more. You should definitely be promoting these methods to the public! Of course, some people are going to develop a couple of... side effects here and there, but which other medicine doesn't do that anyway? Also, an unrelated question: do you happen to know where the nearest toilet is?"
[effect] people are turning themselves into worm food
[option] "Let's not open this can of worms too hastily." cautions @@RANDOMNAME_2@@, a nerdy researcher from prominent pharmaceutical company Miser, as @@HE@@ flips through a thick clipboard containing colourful charts and coffee stains. "There hasn't been enough research into the risks and rewards of using tapeworms to lose weight, so we shouldn't start singing its praises just yet. But thanks to rigorous trials conducted by yours truly, Miser's approved weight loss pills can help you burn up to 10% of your body fat in a year! I agree with @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ that many consumers can't afford to lose weight, so you should be subsidising the production of our wonder pills to give everyone the equal opportunity they deserve."
[effect] the government subsidises medicines of mass destruction
[option] "You've all lost your damn minds." sighs @@RANDOMNAME_3@@, your Minister of Health, as he shoves a couple of nauseating images of patients' intestines in your face. "Weight loss pills can increase the risks of heart attacks, and don't even get me started on the idiocy of swallowing a parasitic worm. Yet people have been conned into thinking that these extreme health risks are worth it to lose a few kilos. These scams have gone too far. Arrest both of these snake oil salesmen and prohibit their products at once!"
[effect] it's illegal to be caught on tape