AOCAF LXVIII :: Everything Thread

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Football Association of the Commonwealth

Major Honors

Winners
5th Under 18 World Championship
9th Under 18 World Championship
62nd AOCAF Cup
66th AOCAF Cup
Cup of Champions (Eagles Cup 13)
DiBradini Cup 53/74th Under 21 World Championship
Runner-up
67th Baptism of Fire
Eagles Cup 13
Third Place
58th AOCAF Cup
60th AOCAF Cup
Eagles Cup 14
Fourth Place
World Cup 85
63rd AOCAF Cup
Women's World Cup 15/Jenna Raven Cup 2

Established in 1901, the FAC is the governing body of the sport in Baker Park, maintaining a registry of over 24,000 players between the ages of 11 and 80; 3,500 officials; 128 full member clubs and 350 associate member clubs; sponsoring 12 National Championships for men & women across all levels. in addition to 6 domestic cup competitions; and offering training programs for coaches and physiotherapists covering youth to professional certification.

All time match record—517 wins, 283 losses, 157 draws (957 matches)
(current through beginning of AOCAF 68)
NS Record—338 wins, 121 losses, 88 draws (547 matches)
AOCAF Record--61 wins, 17 losses, 11 draws

style--+2.25
Formation--3-4-1-2
AO Ranking--26.07 (4th)

National Anthem--"Hear Our Voices Commonwealth"

Nickname--since the end of the 1960's the National Team has been known as "The Bees", a period when the team's uniforms consisted of alternating black and gold hoops.
Previous to that time and subsequently through periods in the 1980's and 90's, the team was usually referred to by the county's national animal, the Elks; the women's National Team were always 'Lady Elks' until the advent of mixed gender play, which was revived during the Jenna Raven Cup and there are still numerous mentions of Elks in the supporters song “We are the Gold & Black”, which currently has close to 175 stanzas.

Colors--Black & Gold (while they are just 2 of the 5 main colors on the flag of Baker Park--Blue, Red and White are the others--black & gold have been closely associated in the nation's consciousness as representative of the country since its founding.)

Staff

Manager: Jennifer Precott
Assistant: Darren Kirby
Coaches—Tony Weiss, Haley Reinhart-Zavaros, Elaine King
Physio—Gina Damicone

GK
Rod Callaway		28	Shirley Metros FC
Gillian Albertson	24	Westwood Sprites Ladies FC	

DEF
Liam Hughes		29	Gunzlach (GRF) 
Jerrol Allen		28	Real Atlantea (TAE)
Susie Knight		28	Club Stein-los (PAS)
Antoine Jones		23	Learfield FC	
Stacy Milner		23	Leiderkranz Ladies FC
Amy Freeman		28	Riverside City Ladies FC
Emily Bruce		26	Perce Town FC (QUE)	

MID
Olivia Ryan		24	Westwood Sprites Ladies FC
Carly Logan		24	Southend Ladies AC	
Paul Vetter		25	Linden Woods FC
Luke Olivera		26	Korsbach (GRF)
Shonte Logan		23	Crusaders FC	
Andrea Kirby		23	Bergholz Caledonian FC
Lucie Shanahan	        27	Middletown City Women
Alonzo Boyle		25	Southend AC
Christa Vuckovic	30	Tropicorp FC (VIL)
Leanne Bryant		22	Hamilton Wanderers Ladies

FWD
Ben Moorman		26	Carsby FC (EUR)
Kyle Baum 		28	Bayern-Algaer (TAE)
Erika Riley		22	Clayton City Ladies FC
Peter Obulundi	        24	Newmarket Saxons FC
Elena Diaz		24	Leiderkranz Ladies FC	
Shelby Engels		24	Greenlea United Ladies FC
Terrell London		22	Hillsborough FC

The Commonwealth National Team approach the 68th AOCAF at a critical juncture in the history of mixed gender soccer in Baker Park; having failed to make the knockout stage in three of the last four World Cups in addition to the first time in the last six regionals not making the quarterfinal at the last edition, Manager Jen Prescott will be looking to the next generation of Development Charter products to return the BPNT to medal contention in another even numbered Atlantian Oceania tournament.
The quest for a third title in the Toughest Tournament in the Multiverse Not called the World Cup™ will be partly helped by the fact that Group E will be hosted in Baker Park, at three venues within the Metro Belle Haven area.
The Bees will have their opener against Heller Turm at the BBP Stadium before facing Crystal Empire at the Salisbury City Stadium on matchday 2, with the remaining three fixtures--Jabal Akhdar, Milchama, and Gyatso-kai--all scheduled for Sportsmen's Park.

The last competition for the NT--the inaugural Tea Cup--was focused on uncapped players and those with fewer than five NT appearances (known within the squad as "cappies" and "bantams", respectively) of which nearly a third of this group is comprised of.

Explanatory notes on positional determination and overall tactical theory:

In the “BP System” or the “BP Way” (neither of those should be considered as something used officially or unofficially—if you wanted to term it as such as something of your own IC creation, go for it) the 3-4-1-2 is more literal than the manner in which it's used RL.
A discussion I had with another user made me contemplate providing a bit more concrete info on just who plays where when you see my lineups/bench for individual matches.
Defense: the three backs play tight to one another when the ball is in the middle or defensive thirds—they should really be termed LCB/CCB/RCB. The outside pair will never be wider than diameter of the center circle. They both man-mark (unless there is an IC tactical reason they don't) and the centerback zonal marks (usually helping one of the other two). The CB is technically a fullback as they have more freedom to move forward with the ball at feet. In a pinch, an emergency situation as a sub, they could all play any of the three positions.
Midfield: there is a good deal of set responsibility among the four across midfield, but the one thing that is always a constant is the wings are the workhorses, they cover more distance than the other players. I've hinted at or flat out said in match reports in the past that left wing (and they are 99.9% of time always left footed) is THE talismanic position in The System, as right fullback is considered (in BP) as usually the weakest position in a flat back four.
The two central midfielders usually have a specific role, one as the playmaker, the distributor and the other as the defensive, hard tackler, disruptor, ball winner.
The preferred position is listed first, but the ones that follow show how versatile that player is. For CM's the left/right designation is the stronger side for that player, but in theory almost anyone in midfield can play in the center of midfield.
Forward: Ah yes, the wild card element. In this case, the differentiation should be looked at from the perspective of another sport—basketball.
The three positions are almost adapted from the indoor game: the center forward, the target man, the number 9—the one who plays up front but facing away from the goal. Mostly it's men who hold down this role in the NT, although not always.
The striker—they want to be played into an area by a pass, or want room to get a touch before shooting. They face goal, but usually in or very close to the box.
The 'slot'--what a lot of people call the attacking midfielder or the CAM. This is a player that can dribble and create their own shot, or draw defenders and find others. There's a reason why this position can be played by a midfielder or a forward and the rationale usually depends on a chemistry between a pair or trio. West, Craig & Pryor will go down in history as the most prolific combo because the man developed a good rapport with the women who were club teammates.
In conclusion—BP should always be RP'd (of course at your discretion, and I will always adapt to anyone who RP's first if something that's not necessarily canon is mentioned) as--

*fast, short passing
*high lines & pressing
*offside trap
*technically sound
*not easily intimidated
*willing to play anyone, anywhere

Permissions
_________________________________________________________________________________

In the event my opponent RPs first, they may...
Choose my goalscorers: YES
Godmod scoring events: YES
RP injuries to my players: YES, but those that would be for just the duration of the match (TG in advance would be appreciated as well)
Godmod injuries to my players: See Above
Hand out yellow cards to my players: YES
Hand out red cards to my players: YES, but again, a heads up in advance is appreciated, as I would do for you.
Godmod other events: TG what you have in mind, I'm easy to come to an understanding with

by **Fort McKinley** » Mon Jan 02, 2023 11:04 pm

People's Republic of Fort McKinley

Fort McKinley's National Football Team have seen fit to participate once again in the exhibition matches called the OFA Cup, although now fully aware of the various plots against our Heroes of the Revolution to place obstacles in the path of the squad being able to show their superiority over the weak, decadent capitalist foes that they will face.

For a third time, our heroes will be matched against the offspring of swine from Hapilopper, which was also the very first opponent played by our boys; this will take place on the second match day and will be the 50th match of our glorious People's Republic's National Team.

On the opening day, the Heroes will be matched against the host nation, the slothful elf-men of Valanora, who will certainly spare no expense to intimidate Fort McKinley with a show of ostentatious wealth and the shameful excesses of bourgeois oppression of their elven proletariat.

Formation: 4-4-2
Style: +1
starters are in bold

GK
20 Jimmy Dale Beard
1  Sammy Pete Davis

DEF
22 Bobby Ray Allen  
3  Eddie Burt Miller
14 Steven Gary Smith
5  Mickey Joe Beard
2  Aaron Roy Morris
4  Davey Charles Young

MID
7  John Hugh Davis
21 Peter Edward Miller 
11 Ernie Clyde Beard
8  Simon Jay Allen  Captain
12 Lee Myron Clark
6  Willie Tom Clark
16 Marty Neal Gray

FWD
17 Larry Doug Jones
9  Dennis Gene Young
13 Joe Willy Morris
10 Steve Wayne Smith
15 Tony Chuck Miller

Staff

Manager: Danny Todd Jones
Coaches: Mel Bob Miller, Harry Fred Gray

In the event my opponent RPs first, they may...

Choose my goalscorers: YES
Godmod scoring events: YES
RP injuries to my players: YES, but those that would be for just the duration of the match (TG in advance would be appreciated as well)
Godmod injuries to my players: See Above
Hand out yellow cards to my players: YES
Hand out red cards to my players: YES, but again, a heads up in advance is appreciated, as I would do for you.
Godmod other events: TG what you have in mind, I'm easy to come to an understanding with

by **Pluvia and the Saxean Isles** » Tue Jan 03, 2023 2:19 pm

Magpies fly past outmatched Ngolia

Christopher Teschner, Marienburg Herald

The unusual bid format by Valanora for this 68th edition of the biennial AOCAF, where the group stage games would be dispersed among multiple hosts, with playoffs in Valanora, meant that the Magpies wouldn't actually be making the relatively short trip east to the elven nation, at least not immediately. However, their disappointment was to be assuaged somewhat by their placement in the nation of Milchama, just a hop, skip, and a jump over a few uninhabited islands in the Secocia Sea. The short journey meant many Pluvian and Saxean fans could attend, especially when initial ticket sales fell short of expectations in Milchama. Nevertheless, the Magpies got off to about the best possible start, defeating their unranked opponents Ngolia by a solid score of 3-0.

There were some concerns about the Magpies' defense heading in to this match, as they were breaking in a new goalkeeper in Leo Zoecke, as well as new starting defenders in Sam Goldwasser and Manuel Schuettler. The Magpies were favored to win, but conceding two or more goals to an unranked, if not totally new to the AOCAF, Ngolian team would be seen as a serious problem. However, no problems were in sight, as Zoecke was only tested by three shots on goal and Goldwasser and Schuettler acquitted themselves well, driving off the Ngolian strikers on multiple occasions. Marius Bohlen should also be lauded for playing somewhat of a destroyer role with several well-timed challenges that disrupted Ngolian attacks.

On the offensive end, things were just as smooth. Wagging tongues said that Davis Kingsley, once Laurent Chambéry's wunderkind, was becoming an old and slow veteran, but he showed that he does indeed still have it, at least in this game. The Magpies' first goal, in the 26th minute, came from Kingsley sidestepping one defender, then using that space he obtained for himself, threaded a ball into the box past the Ngolian defenders for another young player turned veteran, Rory Goldberg. Goldberg made a perfect run and blasted a low shot past the Ngolian keeper, putting the Magpies up 1-0. Just before halftime, Kingsley himself made not one, but two defenders look silly as he faked one of them and then blew past the other. This put him on the edge of the 18-yard box with an open lane to the goal. As defenders scrambled to mark him, he lofted a soft pass over the heads right onto the head of left winger Flynn MacKay at the far post, and MacKay did not miss. Kingsley was lifted in the 66th minute for Owen Duffy as his stamina flagged in the second half, but the game was well in hand by that point. Young Xander Fox scored on a header off of a corner kick from Duffy in the 86th minute to well and truly ice the game and send Pluvian and Saxean fans back to their hotels happy.

Also of interest, due to the Magpies' journey to the primarily Jewish nation of Milchama, is that a delegation of Pluvian Jews are headed to Milchama to not only watch football, but open conversation with Milchama around co-operation between the two nation's Jewish communities. The Jewish community in Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, originally oppressed by the officially Catholic government, has lost many members to conversion or emigration over time, though their numbers have recovered recently, sits at around 80,000 members, or about 1% of the population. Representing the nation's approximately 40,000 Reform Jews will be Rabbi Sara Weiss, President of the Pluvian and Saxean Association of Reform Judaism and leader of Temple Beth El in Marienburg. President Isaac Shapiro of United Masorti Synagogues of Pluvia and leader of the Port Marian Jewish Center will represent the approximately 25,000 Pluvian Jews who follow Masorti or Conservative Judaism. Finally, the leader of Agudath B'nai Avraham in Marienburg and Chief Rabbi of the Orthodox Rabbinate of Pluvia Gamaliel Yaakov will represent the around 15,000 Pluvian Orthodox Jews.

The coming together of these three rabbis represents a moment of hope for Pluvian Jews. Previously, Orthodox figures such as the late Reuven Abramov had denounced Reform and Masorti Jews in the country as "assimilationists," hindering dialogue. But Chief Rabbi Yaakov is seen as, if not a moderniser, then someone more interested in cross-community dialogue. The three leaders of their respective communities have indicated that they intend to both meet with a wide range of Milchaman Jewish leaders and take in at least one football match. Hopefully their presence will continue to build pan-Atlantian Oceanian ties for our nation, as well as raise the profile of Judaism in our nation and encourage interfaith co-operation. However their trip turns out, we can say that the Magpies' trip has begun in spectacular fashion. They'll be tested by top-seeded Vilita & Turori in their next match, so whether it continues in spectacular fashion is definitely up in the air.

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Tue Jan 03, 2023 3:07 pm

Tämän laulun ja tanssin aika lähteä taas. After a WC Cycle that saw us reach the fucking playoffs of WCQ, the Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi are back and ready to try and take more names back in the AOCAF fold. Last time we entered this competition, we were only knocked out by the mighty Banija on penalties...and now, we have to start this AOCAF in Banija as they are the hosts of this group. Esko Laaksonen had to say goodbye to 4 outstanding players during the offseason but reinforcements have arrived to take their place just in time to try and pull off more magic in the competition. Kimi Airo was deemed worthy of holding the first ever captaincy in the history of this team and while actually having a Kapteeni may take time to get used to, the hype was still huge around this team as this tournament got underway.

And then we played The Lodge. No, not Eastfield Lodge - The Lodge. The Lodge were a debuting team entering this AOCAF, a team we literally had no data on heading into this contest, and while facing a debutant on the opening day sounded like a good thing...things certainly didn't go to plan at Mugisha III Memorial Stadium. The Lodge had nothing to lose and in that environment, they took a shock lead thanks to a brilliant free kick past Peter Nurmi. For the rest of this contest, we were trying everything within our power to try and come back into this game - and I mean everything. Both Airo and Valtteri Nordström ended up with 5 shots on target each while Tero Salo and Annina Tuominen were trying as many things as possible to try and break the iron curtain that had formed in front of The Lodge's goal. We tried and tried and tried and tried...but in the end, The Lodge held firm. They got a historic upset in their first try...and we can do is pick up the pieces.

We will hope for better against Kanadan Dominio. The Canadian Dominion is certainly a stronger opponent than The Lodge on paper, but we need to prove to the rest of AOCAF that this performance won't define our time here. We may have lost Game 1, but we still have 4 more to play. Olemme käyneet läpi pahempaa. Voimme taistella takaisin... eikö? NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

Schedule/Ajoittaa (Group C, all games in Banija)
MD1: vs The Lodge - Mugisha III Memorial Stadium L 0-1 (4th)
MD2: vs Kanadan Dominio [Canadian Dominion] - Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den
MD3: vs Banija - Stadium of the Restoration
MD4: vs Efnakinen [Efnakia] - Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den
MD5: vs Mlima Kijani - Mugisha III Memorial Stadium

by **Oontaz Dert Li Ng** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 12:46 am

SULTANATE OF OONTAZ DERT LI NG
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOOTBALL TEAM

This is the sixteenth time that Oontaz Dert Li Ng will be participating in the AOCAF. Oontaz got through undefeated in the group stage of the Baptism of Fire 61 but was knocked out in the round of 16 by Arioslavia. The nation is a mix of Muslims and Catholics, with the Mohammedans concentrated in the northern part of the country and the Christians living mostly in the southern islands. Despite a turbulent early history which saw both religious groups fighting constant wars and rebellions, by the time Abanhfleft came and established diplomatic relations with the nation in 1921, a general "peace" had settled between the two groups, and today both are content to consider each other as Oontazniks. Despite being a sultanate, the freedom of religion is valued by the nation, although it would be good advice to say that while the Catholics and Christians might be welcoming, even accommodating, to foreigners of strange new religions, the Muslims might not be so welcoming.

BASIC INFORMATION
Name of nation: Sultanate of Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Demonym: Oontaznik
Nickname: Lions of Sand and Sea
Team colors: Green and white
Style modifier: -2.0 (Defensive this time around)
Formation: 4-2-3-1
Head coach: Faris Feraoun (62 y/o, Oontaz Dert Li Ng)

STARTERS
GK: Aziz MEKHLOUFI 33 y/o, Gryphons Nubalochi

RB: Anass SAQQAF 27 y/o, Dinamo Bender

(Pridnestrovia)

RCB: Reda CHOUCHANE 24 y/o, Pasargad Manitogoro

LCB: ANAS IMAM 26 y/o, Gryphons Nubalochi

LB: Hakim MANSOUR 25 y/o, Malabon SC

(Abanhfleft)

DM: Sandro "TONTO" Albuquerque Lopes 33 y/o, General Santos FC

CM: MURIEL Nigeriano 26 y/o, Botafogo de Maranao

RW: Abdelqader JALMASANI 27 y/o, Arsenal de Releinthi

(Abanhfleft)

CAM: ABDILLAH bin Ahmad Shariffuddin 21 y/o, Real Altamirano

on loan from Botafogo de Maranao

LW: Rahim ABBASI 25 y/o, Gryphons Nubalochi

FW: Djet ARIYADI 27 y/o, Ludogorets Markovsky

(Abanhfleft)

RESERVES
GK: Rashiddo EL HAROUN 28 y/o, Athletic Dorfdifving

(Abanhfleft)

GK: Errol TAULAVA 26 y/o, Vigan Athletic

DEF: PUTU GEDE Ambara 29 y/o, General Trias Multiversal

DEF: Mohd ZAIDIL bin Yusoff 26 y/o, Esteghlal Omidinabad

DEF: Kenny PARDO 21 y/o, Red Horse Biñan

on loan from Riuwiee United

(Abanhfleft)

DEF: Sunar SULISTYO 25 y/o, Vay Deg Eels A.F.C.

(Copper Cuprum)

MID: Jefferson MONTIEL 22 y/o, Pasargad Manitogoro

MID: José Miguel CARRASQUEL 20 y/o, Rayo La Presa

MID: Mounir MUSTAFAWI 24 y/o, Mah Deg Diamonds

(Copper Cuprum)

FW: Mohd JAMAL bin Hassani 21 y/o, RCD Baler

FW: Ortizan KARISMA 21 y/o, Gryphons Nubalochi

on loan from Rosenpfelblatz City

(Abanhfleft)

FW: Donnie ONG 23 y/o, Habaniyyah Harriers

on loan from General Santos FC

FORMATION

HOME STADIA

SCHEDULE
Win-loss record: 15-7-16 (penalty shootouts counted as draws)
To be edited...

RP PERMISSIONS
Anything except killing my players is fair game.

by **Oontaz Dert Li Ng** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 12:09 pm

The Sultanate of Oontaz and the Dominion of Hapilopper were two of the nations in the region of Atlantian Oceania. This was not the beginning of a meme but merely a statement of fact. Both countries were located in Atlantian Oceania, and therefore both of them were AO nations. This meant that both countries were eligible to participate in the AOCAF Cup, a football competition dedicated to determining who the best country to play football in Atlantian Oceania was. However, though both Oontaz and Hapilopper had been located in AO for a long time, the meeting between the two nations in the first round of the group stage of the 68th AOCAF Cup in Valanora would be the first for both countries. However, that wasn’t to say that Oontaz and Hapilopper hadn’t met each other in other sports before. Both Hapiloppians and Oontazniks would have been familiar with each other in the field of motor racing, with teams from both countries having competed against each other in AOCAR, AOGP, and even NSSCRA itself. NSSCRA, short for the NationStates Stock Car Racing Association, was the premier stock car competition in the whole multiverse, with teams from both Hapilopper and Oontaz competing in it. It was a similar story for both AOCAR and AOGP, which was Atlantian Oceania’s version of both NSSCRA and WGPC respectively. And Hapilopper’s domestic stock car series, HASCAR, was also popular in the Sultanate, which itself had a vibrant and active car culture.

Oontaz’s history in the AOCAF Cup was far less glamorous than its car scene, however. The Sultanate may have been located in Atlantian Oceania for its entire history, but the fact was that its football federation didn’t officially become a member of AOCAF until 2015, and this left the Sultanate at a complete disadvantage compared to the rest of the nations in AO. But despite this, the Sultanate of Oontaz Football Association (SOFA) was given the task of developing Oontaznik football in such a way that the Sultanate would eventually be able to field a capable team for AOCAF within five editions of the tournament. This task was already daunting enough in its sheer ambition as it was, but this was also complicated by the fact that the Minister of Sports, Games, and Culture of the Sultanate was none other than Prince Bismillah bin Kudarat al-Untas, also known as simply Prince Bismillah. Prince Bismillah was well known in the Sultanate as being a true sports fanatic who wanted to see his country become successful in every sport in which it could compete. It was the prince who had given the SOFA the directive of making Oontaz competitive in AOCAF within five editions, and though Prince Bismillah did not have the reputation of being someone whom one wouldn’t want to displease or disappoint (unlike his older brother, Crown Prince Farooq bin Kudarat), nobody in the SOFA wanted to say to Prince Bismillah that the task may be harder than he thought.

The deadline came and passed, and after five editions of the AOCAF Cup, the Sultanate of Oontaz still could not field a team that could be called “competitive” in the tournament. The Sultanate’s football team appeared to be stuck in mediocrity, with their best performances to date being a handful of appearances in the first round of the knockout stage of the Cup (usually the Round of 16, but there have been some instances of a Round of 20 and even a Round of 24 being the first round of knockouts for the AOCAF Cup). But more often than not, the Sultanate found itself getting eliminated from the competition right in the group stage, and for an avid fan like Prince Bismillah, this was simply not acceptable. The SOFA did the best that it could to improve Oontaznik football as much as it could, but sometimes there were just some things for which there was no possible solution. And for most of its history in the AOCAF Cup, it looked like the Sultanate of Oontaz would never be able to be competitive in the Cup, and even Prince Bismillah recognized that it could very well be a lost cause. The prince would soon drop most of his interest in football, instead turning his attention to developing and building up Oontaz’s motorsports scene in preparation for entering his country in NSSCRA, AOCAR, and AOGP.

When the Sultanate of Oontaz prepared to face Hapilopper on the opening matchday of the 68th AOCAF Cup, many Oontazniks didn’t have a lot of expectations for this Lions of Sand and Sea team. The more dedicated Oontaznik fans, including a number of ultras groups, had still turned out in droves to Valanora to support and cheer on their team, but for the casual Oontaznik viewer watching the AOCAF Cup at home or anyplace else, they didn’t really expect much from their national team. Hapilopper, after all, was a more successful side than them despite having been a member of AOCAF for a much shorter time than the Sultanate. Sometimes, that was just the way that the world was, and there wasn’t much that they as fans could do about it. Sure, they could cheer for their team wherever they were, but at the end of the day, they weren’t the ones out there on the pitch. They weren’t the ones playing against Hapilopper, and they weren’t the ones who had to defend against the Haps. Their mouths said that they were still supporting the Sultanate but their minds were thinking that the Dominion was about to kick in the teeth of the Lions of Sand and Sea. And it wasn’t even that they were thinking that it was something that could happen; for most Oontaznik fans, getting beaten by Hapilopper was pretty much a certainty. The only comfort that they could really draw on at this point was the fact that the fiery and temperamental Nathan Ellis was no longer playing for Hapilopper, instead opting to take up a position in the dugout as an assistant coach.

Thus nobody was really surprised when Hapilopper went ahead early in the first half courtesy of Herb Northrop, and nobody was surprised when the Haps doubled their lead thanks to a James Huddleston header off of a Peter Robson free kick. With the Lions of Sand and Sea going 2-0 down in just 25 minutes, many Oontaznik viewers sighed in the knowledge that their team was still shit and soon switched channels to something else, such as replays of NSSCRA or AOCAR races. However, in doing so, these fans would end up missing out on perhaps one of the most improbable comebacks in the history of Oontaznik football. Those who had switched to other shows or sports would miss Djet Ariyadi scoring the first Oontaznik goal of the tournament in the dying minutes of the first half. They would miss Abdelqader Jalmasani finding the top right corner from outside the box with a thunderous strike to equalize the game for the Lions of Sand and Sea. And most importantly of all, they would miss the goal from Mounir Mustafawi to actually win the game in the 85th minute. They would miss Mustafawi charging his way down the left flank and dancing his way around the Hapiloppian defenders wearing their black and blue alternate kits, and they would miss Mustafawi squeezing the ball in between the post and Billy Solomon’s right leg for the decisive goal.

The Sultanate of Oontaz may not have the best football team in all of Atlantian Oceania, but the victory over Hapilopper, though completely unexpected, may be a sign that the Lions of Sand and Sea might actually be on the right track to finally claiming a place among the elite of AO.

  SULTANATE OF OONTAZ 3 - 2 HAPILOPPER        
        ARIYADI (43')       NORTHROP (10')
      JALMASANI (67')       HUDDLESTON (25')
      MUSTAFAWI (85')

by **Milchama** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 1:34 pm

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Sun-Moon-Sky-Picayune-Courier-Post-Pre-Forward-Current-Reader

Culture Section

A Background in Milchamian Jewish Sects

As many new nations come to Milchama for the AOCAF soccer tournament and want to make links to the extensive Jewish community it's important to note that Milchama is a very different Jewish community than almost anywhere else in the multiverse. Milchama is, famously, one of the few majority Jewish countries in the world and that Jewish majority, alongside an extensive Milchamian belief in pluralism, and a famously leftist, possibly unorganized country has led to Milchama being a mishmash of different Jewish sects. Unlike most places which have the basic three sects of Reform, Masorti, and Orthodox Milchama has something like 25 different Jewish sects though that number is unclear because, well, what counts? Do the numerous different ultra-Orthodox movements count as different sects or are they mostly unified because Agudat Yisrael exists? What do we do about the various pseudo-proselytizing sects (and the one actual proselytizing sect)? Also, what counts as a major sect? How many synagogues? How many members? Why did Pluvia open this can of worms? Ahhhh!!!! Ok then let's get to it to the best of our ability.

For clarity we will do things based on each sect's relationship to halacha (for those foreign readers that's Jewish law).

Humanist Jews - These are the atheist Jews. While their prayer (except the God stuff), services, and holiday traditions look the same as normative Judaism they don't believe in God. That leads to a lot of theological differences with many other Jewish sects for the obvious reasons. Since we're not a theological journal, we're not going to get into all of them but suffice to say that the atheists are a different bunch.

HaTevaot - The environmental Jews, often derisively called the Hippie Jews by haters. Very into mixing Jewish traditions with environmentalism and trying to "go back to the land" and follow a lot of the agricultural customs around Judaism. Parts of this denomination are very popular in rural Milchama but not everybody likes their lax take on halacha in other issues.

BuJews - Jews who got very into Buddhism and have tried, with some success, to combine the traditions. If you see a Milchamian practicing yoga they are a BuJew.

Kohenet Movement - Hyperfeminist and possibly misandrist sect. They have been starting to become increasingly popular in Milchama as men and women flock to their banner. Their practice is a little unclear to many outsiders and so I can't really say more. Here's some background reading for those who want: https://www.jta.org/2021/01/29/culture/theres-no-one-right-way-to-kohenet-the-hebrew-priestess-movement-aims-to-center-womens-voices

Liberationists - Anti-authority radicals. They are basically Jewish leftists who believe that Judaism and leftist politics must necessarily go together. Not really coalesced as a movement as they constantly fight each other and create their own independent synagogues over small doctrinal or political disputes that seem very small to those outside the movement. The only majority queer sect in Milchama.

Reform - Big tent liberal movement. Among the most popular in Milchama and, depending on who you talk to, the most popular. A lot Milchamians, especially the three times to Synagogue a year people, are Reform Jews. Have been losing influence to more leftist sects recently and may soon have a schism around the nature of prayer with more traditional Reform Jews at one end and less traditional ones at the other end.

Renewal - Spiritual Jews. The practice is very similar to somewhere between Reform and Masorti Judaism but with a lot more singing. They also include a lot of new agey type practices into their Judaism as well but the big thing is the 3 to 4 hour long sing along service where, somehow, every single prayer is sung for like 15 minutes. We have no idea how they pull this off. Or, alternatively, the short services that are only like 3 prayers but with each one taking like 30 minutes each.

Reconstructionist - Somewhere between Reform and Masorti Judaism. A fairly recent movement but has gotten incredibly popular based on its tenets about how Halacha should and should not be interpreted. As it is always on the side of civil rights and creates very active political people, Reconstructionist Judaism is very popular in the cities and especially in the (such as they exist in a radically egalitarian society like Milchama), poorer places in the country. Usually a gateway movement for some other form of Judaism later.

Masorti - If Reform Judaism is not the most popular strand of Judaism in the country then it would Masorti Judaism. Sometimes called Conservative Judaism but the term is not widely used in Milchama. Masortis believe that halacha is binding but that it changes based on the times and context. Has moved left on religious issues over time and is losing adherents to both the Tradisionalim and the Traditional Egalitarians.

Kabalists - Not really a movement as a style of practicing Judaism as they believe in a more mystical Judaism without specific ways in which that practice needs to manifest. It's important to note as many celebrities have taken Kabalist beliefs as some weird mystical quest or whatever. You will find kabalists in all streams of Milchamian Judaism which mostly has to do with the style of which they approach Judaism.

Tradisionalim - Very popular among newer immigrants, Mizrahim, and Sephardim specifically. They always celebrate shabbat and usually go to synagogue but usually go to the football right after or will immediately take out their cell phone the second shul is over. Only a movement because of the ethnicities present that agitate to make sure their communities and synagogues are adequately funded. Not much liturgical differences with most Maharat or Modern Orthodox synagogues.

Traditional Egalitarian - Often called Trad Egals by many. People who believe that halacha is binding except that the sexist bit of the corpus is wrong and anti-Jewish values as well as anti-human rights. Getting increasingly popular among young people in Milchama who love Judaism and its laws but also love women and think they are human beings with full rights. Their official split with the Masorti movement was one of the most acrimonious in Milchamian history.

Maharat - Modern Orthodox but ordain women and have specific roles that only women can fill in order to try to create egalitarianism and they believe that outright canceling halachic rulings makes no sense. If you hear things about 10-10 minyans or Rabbinit as a name they are Maharat Jews. Named after the initial Yeshiva to ordain women.

Modern Orthodox - Follow halacha but attempt to live in the modern world. Also basketball obsessives with the majority of the Milchamian basketball team coming from MoDox Jews. Fairly right wing by Milchamian standards but consider themselves left. Broke with Maharat over the question of female ordination.

Hasidim - Spiritual ultra-Orthodox. Hasidim very much care about halacha and follow it very closely. However, they are also very spiritual and their services can sometimes look a lot like the Renewal Jews with the amount of singing and dancing. When people think of a "stereotypical religious Jew" they think of Chasid.

Mitnagdim/Spartikim - The ultra-Orthodox anti-Hasidim whose largest contingent is in the ultra conservatively religious New Sparta. They think the Hasidim are wrong about the various things in the religion and feel like their spirituality and singing is problematic from a Jewish perspective.

From here normative Rabbinic Judaism ends. Of the 80 million or so Milchamian Jews, approximately 75% of them are normative Rabbinic Jews who believe in the traditional Talmud. After that though it gets different as different groups all vie for power. However, these groups, for a variety of reasons, do have some power and some are gaining in influence.

Samaritans - The largest of the non-normative Jews. While traditional Jewish enemies the Samaritans have now mostly kept to themselves in Milchama and live in seclusion in what is now the former Nedalia. Nobody knows how many of them there are or whether they would be happy to be in this list.

Karaites - They reject the Talmud and believe that the only way to interpret is through direct interpretation of the Torah. They have a lot of different beliefs and you can see them proselytizing on most street corners in Milchamian cities.

Korbanim - They believe the sacrifices should be restored and actually practice sacrifices. One of the biggest proponents of Margaret across Milchama. Vegetarians use rubber animals in same veins of rubber chickens.

Zionists - Believe that Jewish practice should be more based around Israel and move to make it so. Usually more of a cultural affinity group then a religious group but they do have a lot of adherents in the higher levels of government and so exercise a lot of influence on Milchamian politics.

Sabateans - Believe in the false Messiah Shabbatai Zvi and continue to follow his beliefs in Judaism. The kabalists hate these guys as they think that Shabbatai Zvi misread and misunderstood Kabalism. Read more about them here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabbateans

Aesthetics = There are a lot of Jewish movements that are about leaving the larger community in order to be more pure. These movements exist out in the desert and in other rural areas. They're a pleasant surprise to run into.

Other false Messiah claimant movements (and there are so so so so many) - There have been many false messiahs in Jewish history. Your Frankists, that guy from Ethiopia, Radsinskians, even Florensians (people who think Marc J. Floren is the Messiah) are here. Don't worry about them.

In unrelated news Milchama disappointed with a 3-1 loss to Jabal Akhdar in the first AOCAF game. The Warriors are not looking good.

by **Banija** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 2:19 pm

The Busukuma Post
Covering All of Banija, All of our News, All of the Time

As country is on royal baby watch, Kadongo Kamu stroll to crushing 6-2 victory at the national stadium to open up the AOCAFs

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- This team's ambitions, when it comes to this tournament, have always been sky-high. "We've never been shy about it- we believe that success here, at the regionals, is going to breed success at the biggest stages- particularly, the World Cup. Not to mention, the AOCAFs are a major trophy in their own right." Pam Scott told this to reporters. It has been an ethos at the RBSA, especially encouraged by the NT"s old manager, Marcus Waters. "Winning that trophy last time out- it meant everything to us. And now, we are out here trying to do everything in our power to retain this trophy. Obviously, it's going to be tough- but that title defense starts today, at the Stadium of the Restoration, against Canadian Dominion."

Now, we know what you must be thinking. Title defense starts at the Stadium of the Restoration? Aren't Valanora hosting this tournament? The answer is yes- and no.

As part of a plan to ensure this remains a celebration of the region, Vanorian football authorities opened up various nations within Atlantian Oceania to bid to host the group stages. The RBSA had commended them on this publicly, and fairly quickly had confirmed their intention to bid to host a group. After considering all sorts of places within Banija to host this thing, a joint bid between neighboring cities on the south coast emerged as Banija's choice, which was selected by Valanora- Busukuma and Busembe, bringing Banija's AOCAF group to home soil.

Two stadia in Busukuma, and in Busembe, will host Banija's group- with all 5 NT games taking place at the Stadium of the Restoration. "After a fantastic cycle, coming off a famous AOCAF victory, and a stunning run to the World Cup Final, it will be great to have these major tournament home games happening at the home of Banijan football." Said Busukuma Mayor, Jambaar Jasli. "It will also be a fantastic opportunity for this diverse city to welcome the world to the Banijan capitol. Busukuma is a great place to live, and a great place to play, and we look forward to continue to try and find ways to raise this city's international stature."

Busembe's Mayor has similar things to say. "We'll be hosting 5 separate games here at the AOCAFs- a great thing for Busembe." Said the Mayor to the press. "We've got a fantastic, growing city, that is at the heartbeat of the fastest growing area in Banija, the Kitara Region. We're increasingly becoming more diverse and international, and having foreign fans here will be a boon for the local economy." The Busukuma/Busembe bid was chosen by the RBSA, as we said, after a few options were considered. An all-Istria option was considered, alongside an Aksum regional option, a North Moravica option, a Hangaza regional option, and a Bunyoro/Buganda committee all submitted interest. All those bids show- there is demand at home, by many cities, to host these major tournaments.

With the game in the nation's capitol, and it being the first competitive game for the national team since the World Cup, everyone showed out for this one. 91,835 packed the national stadium, hoping for great things. Marcus Waters did the ceremonial coin toss. The Kabaka himself was there, to great cheers. Omugabe Ssekamanya was there with his pregnant wife, Princess Muirne (originally of Brenecia). She got huge cheers- in her womb, of course, she carries a future Kabaka of Banija. Pomp and circumstance indeed, as all sorts of royals found their way to the match. Who wouldn't want to watch Banija's opening match at the AOCAFs, especially when it's in your own backyard?

The match itself was stellar. The Banijans, urged on by a raucous home crowd, alongside the future unborn royal baby, absolutely rolled today, throttling the Canadian Dominion 6-2 in a well-deserved opening victory. While the visitors actually opened the scoring with a 3rd minute penalty (courtesy of a Tairu Conateh handball), it was all Banija after that. Wesoloski-Okafor responded in the 17th minute with a header, and Sarafina Ikpeazu scored in the 22nd minute to take the lead, and it was all Banija after that. We ended up taking a 3-1 lead into halftime, and led by a score of 6-1 by the time the 72nd minute rolled around. Canadian Dominion bookended the game with goals, as they scored an open player header in stoppage time to make it 6-2, but still- the Banijans had cruised.

"You can't ask for a better opener than that!" Said Pam Scott, the team's manager. "However, major international tournaments are not won in a day, and they are certainly not lost in a day, either. This is a fantastic win, of course- three points were secured, the home crowd is bouncing happy, and we got some great goal differential to take us to the top of the table early. However, we've got 5 opponents, and a tough group. Clap it out, be glad that we won- but don't get too high. We've got to get down to business, as Mlima Kijani comes to Busukuma in just a few days time. Let's use this as a foundation, and build upon it going forward."

by **The Cordian Isles** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 3:25 pm

CORDIAN NATIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM

THE NORTH STARS

ALL-TIME RECORD [W-D-L]: 48-20-30

The last AOCAF gave some indication of what we had to expect from the North Stars in qualifiers. The Cordians indirectly caused the deaths of several hundred Farfadillans by upsetting the heavily-favored home side in Farfadillis on MD2, a result that helped them reach the knockout stage for the first time. There, they faced their second World Cup-qualified opponent in Hapilopper, and stunned them with a 3-2 upset to advance to the quarterfinals and raise their World Cup kill count to two. They would face Vilita and Turori in the quarters, with some of those players (the Turorian ones, more on that later) having faced and eliminated them in the World Cup playoffs. They played hard and even held the lead early in the second half, but it was not enough and the North Stars found themselves out of the tournament. The first half of qualifiers were a whirlwind of massive victories - down went the Holy Empire and Saint Eleanor - along with one draw and loss each. In absolutely spectacular form, many expected the North Stars to qualify directly for the playoffs. But in a group where the top five seeds were all high-class, that form was hard to maintain and the Cordians found themselves back in the playoffs. And worse yet, facing Turori for the second cycle in a row. A pair of defeats despite a valiant effort, and the Cordians were back in the Cup of Harmony. There, well, the North Stars put up what can only be considered an utter shite performance, with no wins and a group stage exit as the second seed of five. Hopefully this tournament will be more successful.

The team is managed by Diandra Ballard of Nephara, a former World Cup-winning keeper for the Nepharan national team and manager of Leichhardt, which she brought from the First Division to the Zenith, but was then fired when the team went back down. Spying a manager with international experience, the Cordian NT hired her. After the first cycle we said things like "she hasn't brought immediate success to the team" and "she's kept things from being too painful". In the last two cycles, she’s brought the Cordians to the playoffs twice, and it’s hard to blame her for the North Stars’ performances against Turori, but the Cordian fanbase would like for their side to qualify for once. However, the focus now is on regionals rather than qualifying, and the Cordians stand to put together a solid showing in this tournament.

Striker Sebastian Voll
Team: Brenville Blue
Age: 33
Captain
72 caps, 36 goals
Known for his positioning and a hard, accurate shot, Voll has been Brenville's top scorer for five years running. Voll is a perfect leader for the team, his goal lifting them up while his leadership keeps the team together. In what pundits are speculating could be his last World Cup cycle, he hasn't slowed down at all, with ten goals in qualifiers and more likely on the way in Ceni. His backup is Dineke Leeuwen, a solid contributor who recorded five caps without a goal in qualifiers and will be looking to end that streak in the Cup of Harmony.
Substitute: Dineke Leeuwen | AFC Farnworth [TLI] | 31 | 8 caps, 3 goals

Striker Anton Osterholt
Team: Alnio [CMT]
Age: 27
73 caps, 33 goals
Osterholt is very good with his feet, able to completely sell a fake, and is notable for some truly spectacular dribble plays he’s made over the years. Since moving to Alnio, he’s acquitted himself very well in the Red League after finally receiving some support on offense. His backup, Donders, put in two goals in five caps in Qualifiers, a solid rate, and is always a major factor for the Maples in the CIFA League.
Substitute: Urban Henriksen | Shelter Cove Captains | 28 | Shelter Cove Captains | 2 caps, 1 goal

Left Midfielder Nicholas Eriksen
Team: Cordasfjord FC
Age: 32
71 caps, 12 goals
Eriksen is well-known for his crosses and passing, an important skill for him as he will be responsible for getting the ball into the box from the left side. A bit of a slow qualifying cycle for him, though Eriksen was a much better playmaker than he has been in the past and it balances out. Lucas Oers at backup made six appearances in qualifiers and performed well in all, but remains firmly the backup to Eriksen.
Substitute: Lucas Oers | MTK Kingsville [DAR] | 29 | 30 caps. 2 goals

Left Center Midfielder Gunnvor Nieminen
Team: Bavingtor FC [FVO]
Age: 23
16 caps, 8 goals
A speedy, aggressive force at LCM arrives in Gunnvor Nieminen. Six goals in twelve appearances in qualifying were more than enough to put him on the starting eleven come the Cup of Harmony. Hannah Andersen will still get some starts, but make no mistake: Gunnvor Nieminen is the main player at this position.
Substitute: Hannah Andersen | Winchester City [CDG] | 31 | 62 caps, 4 goals

Right Center Midfielder Ada Baan
Team: Meadow Ridge Maples
Age: 32
20 caps, 3 goals
A solid midfielder who can run all day, leading her to some very good performances in the CIFA that have led to Ballard giving her the chance to start. At backup is Erik Mathiasen. He’s something of an unknown quality but has made his way through Cordia’s youth program and has been a major contributor to Vikings FC over the last few years, earning him a spot as backup in the AOCAF.
Substitute: Erik Mathiasen | Vikings FC | 24 | 2 caps

Right Midfielder Rasmus Karlssen
Team: Osarese Marcadia [AUD]
Age: 29
70 caps, 9 goals
A very cerebral player with impeccable positioning, and who can read the play and other players perfectly. Karlssen focuses on the fundamentals - you won’t see any flashy plays out of him, but his passing and pace are perfect. He skews defensive but also contributes a bit offensively with several goals and plenty of assists in his time on the national team. He’s one of, if not the best player on this team, and that’s earned him a spot on one of the best teams in one of the best leagues in the world. Perry Oosterhuis plays for another very good side in Perce Town but has had the misfortune of being stuck behind Karlssen. He’ll still pick up a cap here and there and is a better player than many of the other RMs in this tournament.
Substitute: Perry Oosterhuis | Perce Town [QUE] | 31 | 27 caps, 3 goals

Left Back Lucia Verkerk
Team: Gilded City Dragons
Age: 28
63 caps, 4 goals
Verkerk is a fearless player, but also a smart one. She takes calculated risks and will put her body on the line for the team - and when the risks work out, as they often do, she’s an unstoppable force. Also, she runs her mouth. A lot. Not at the refs, just at the other players. Like we said, calculated risks. Helped lead Gilded City to an incredible showing following the loss of Anton Osterholt by playing absolute shutdown defense in almost all of the thirty-eight CIFA matches. Behind her is Eric Johnson, a former starter but who hasn’t played as well of late. It’s lucky for him that Hermanni Sundstrom got pulled out to play with the B team in the Brevity Challenge Cup or else he might have lost his spot.
Substitute: Eric Johnson | Creston Wolves | 29 | 35 caps, 1 goal

Left Center Back Redvin Chase
Team: Jutland Cannons
Age: 30
68 caps, 4 goals
Chase is one of the CIFA's best defenders, with a solid header that often proves critical to the Cordian defense on set pieces. Chase does play a physical game, though, and he could see the yellow and red cards pile up if that gets out of hand. Behind him is Merel van Pelt, starter for the Tikariot League champions Carathyr Emeralds. She could very well threaten to take Chase’s spot in upcoming years, and expect to see her taking her share of the caps in the Cup of Harmony.
Substitute: Merel van Pelt | Carathyr Emeralds [TKT] | 25 | 8 caps, 1 goal

Right Center Back Frederick Johnson
Team: Myrmidon [CEN]
Age: 28
69 caps, 2 goals
Another solid center back, Johnson excels at pinpoint passes and keeping attackers on the outside per the Cordian gameplan. Not related to Eric Johnson. Behind is Sigrid Altena, stalwart defender that has captained Skalton and kept them in the League A in even the most dire of times.
Substitute: Sigrid Altena | Skalton Harpers | 30 | 25 caps

Right Back Jean Admiraal
Team: Valley Fold Vanquishers
Age: 31
Alternate Captain
30 caps, 1 goal
Vladimir Demov is gone from the national team after several stellar years. The new starter is Jean Admiraal, who has stayed loyal to Valley Fold despite time spent in the League B when she could easily have played for a better side. That’s given her a bit of an edge to her game, as nearly every match she’s played over the last few years has been of huge significance to her side. At backup is Leo Korhonen, another of the Cordian youth teamers to advance to the national team level. He’s very good, and plays alongside Sigrid Altena on the Skalton back line, which has proven its worth in keeping the side up over the last few seasons.
Substitute: Leo Korhonen l Skalton Harpers | 24 | 1 cap

Goalkeeper Kristin Bergstrin
Team: Jutland Cannons
Age: 29
68 caps, 19 clean sheets
Bergstrin is an exceptional goalkeeper who signed with Cannons in order to leave the doomed Lakeshore Hersir. She has been one of the most successful keepers in her time, though there is debate as to whether this is to her credit or the defenses she's been fortunate enough to have in front of her. Jane Hendriks is a very good backup, with clean sheets in four of her six caps in Qualifying (granted, against easier opposition). She plays in the Brenecian B-League and probably deserves more than she’s been getting at Rozelle, but she’s happy and her play has been great.
Substitute: Jane Hendriks | Rozelle Alliance [BRE] | 31 | 15 caps, 7 clean sheets

RP Permissions
Choose my scorers: Y
Choose my scoring events: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
RP injuries to my players: Y, but I decide severity
Godmod Injuries to my players: N
Give Yellow Cards to my players: Y
Give Red Cards to my players: Y, up to once per match.
Godmod other events: Y, but TG me first.
Style Modifier(-5 to +5): 0

Suggestions
Top Scorers: Voll, Osterholt
Most Physical: Chase, Admiraal, but all the backs play very physical.
Set Piece Takers: Eriksen, Karlssen, Voll (for PKs only)

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 6:04 pm

Shocking Announcement Almost Eclipses Shocking Loss
Salwan Mynhier, CHALESM

Squornshelan fans and commentators couldn't settle on which was the bigger talking point after Matchday 1 of the 68th AOCAF Cup. There was, of course, the fact that the Black-and-Reds, fifth seed in the tournament and ranked thirteenth in the multiverse had just lost their opener to Cordia. 2-3 on home ground at that. While it would be hard to believe that such an embarrassing start could be overshadowed, Anne-Sophie Groothuis's unexpected post-match announcement that she would retire at the close of the Cup sent shockwaves through the Confederate footballing community. "In this line of work, you give all you can, and I've done that. Once you have though, the time comes to step aside and hope you've done enough to open the door for someone else to give a little more." She insisted the move had nothing to do with the result of the match, and that the decision had been made and shared with her team and staff some weeks ago.

To my eye, it seems a shrewd move on Groothuis's part. Making her announcement before the tournament would have opened the door to a whirlwind of speculation and created a massive distraction for her team at every media availability. Making it public after a bad loss will serve to redirect the discussion away from the players and onto her, keeping them from having to read quite so many hot takes about themselves while preparing for matchday two against Tropicorp. It's a classic misdirection technique that good managers have been using to take pressure and media attention off their players for as long as there've been sports reporters. The people howling about Groothuis "making things about herself" or "grabbing the spotlight out of ego" are only proving the extent to which it works.

Groothuis, after what was at the time considered a very successful stint as national team manager for her native Omerica, Groothuis took the helm for the SRS starting with the tenth Independent Associations Championship, (don't call it the Independents Cup in front of an Omerican). She has led the team through ups and downs since that time, leading the team to its first World Cup qualification of the modern era in cycle 88, and culminating in three straight finals appearances in cycles 90-92. Heading into the AOCAF Cup, the Black-and-Reds had amassed a record of 110-51-47 earning 61% of possible points through 208 matches. This statline and list of accomplishments makes Groothuis by far the longest tenured, winningest, and most successful manager overall in Confederate history, particularly when we consider second and third place finishes at the 65th and 67th AOCAF Cups.

There's still hope to add to her list of accolades and earn a piece of international silverware, with 4 group stage matches remaining in which to recover from this poor start. Still, the team will need to be miles better than their opening effort, particularly with regard to making use of possession and defensive responsibility. Fortunately, those are areas where Groothuis's teams have generally excelled, so we can at least for the moment, be confident that matchday one was not a true indicator of things to come, and that a much improved effort will be made against Tropicorp than was against Cordia.

by **Mlima Kijani** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 6:54 pm

Selection of articles from Kijani news media.

Early reds condemn Kings to rout

Efnakia 3 – 1 Mlima Kijani
Goals: Kahelto* 7’ (pen.), 19’ (pen.), 40’; Abong’o 61’
Red cards: ; Ogweyo 7’, Wambũgũ 19’

Assuming same Efnakia roster as last AOCAF.

Public divided on failed hosting bid

Ecologists report climate change, illegal logging disrupting rare spiderbirds

by **Jabal Akhdar** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 7:53 pm

Jabal Akhdar 3–1 Milchama
Goals: el-Mahfouz 11’, el-Hashmi 33’ (pen.), el-Saladin 52’; Kelliers 78’

Article from news magazine The New Week National Atlantic News Spectating Economist Time Man.

In a Land of Warrior Peoples, An Akhdari Jew Ponders Nationality and Religion

by **Valanora** » Wed Jan 04, 2023 8:41 pm

Matchday 2

Group A
Fort Mckinley 2–4 Hapilopper
Romsten 0–3 Sultanate of Oontaz
Valanora 5–2 Loyo

P Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valanora                         2   2  0  0    9   4  +5    6
2 Sultanate of Oontaz              2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    6
3 Hapilopper                       2   1  0  1    6   5  +1    3
4 Loyo                             2   0  1  1    4   7  −3    1
  Romsten                          2   0  1  1    2   5  −3    1
6 Fort Mckinley                    2   0  0  2    4   8  −4    0

Group B
Tropicorp 1–2 Squornshelan Remnant States
Wreckeria 0–1 The Cordian Isles
Talannua 0–0 Al-Tamazgha

P Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Cordian Isles                2   2  0  0    4   2  +2    6
2 Squornshelan Remnant States      2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
3 Al-Tamazgha                      2   0  2  0    0   0   0    2
  Talannua                         2   0  2  0    1   1   0    2
5 Tropicorp                        2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
  Wreckeria                        2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1

Group C
Banija 0–1 Mlima Kijani
The Lodge 2–1 Efnakia
Canadian Dominion 3–4 Kimi-Suomi

P Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Lodge                        2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    6
2 Banija                           2   1  0  1    6   3  +3    3
3 Efnakia                          2   1  0  1    4   3  +1    3
4 Kimi-Suomi                       2   1  0  1    4   4   0    3
5 Mlima Kijani                     2   1  0  1    2   3  −1    3
6 Canadian Dominion                2   0  0  2    5  10  −5    0

Group D
95X 1–0 Busoga Islands
Demot 1–1 Equestria
Yakk 2–4 Farfadillis

P Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 95X                              2   2  0  0    3   1  +2    6
2 Equestria                        2   1  1  0    3   1  +2    4
  Farfadillis                      2   1  1  0    8   6  +2    4
4 Demot                            2   0  2  0    5   5   0    2
5 Busoga Islands                   2   0  0  2    0   3  −3    0
  Yakk                             2   0  0  2    3   6  −3    0

Group E
Heller Turm 2–5 Milchama
Gyatso-Kai 2–2 Jabal Akhdar
Baker Park 4–3 Crystal Empire

P Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Baker Park                       2   2  0  0    7   3  +4    6
2 Jabal Akhdar                     2   1  1  0    5   3  +2    4
3 Gyatso-Kai                       2   1  1  0    6   5  +1    4
4 Milchama                         2   1  0  1    6   5  +1    3
5 Crystal Empire                   2   0  0  2    6   8  −2    0
6 Heller Turm                      2   0  0  2    2   8  −6    0

Group F
Pluvia and the Saxean Isles 0–1 Vilita and Turori
The Jovannic 0–0 Verceola
Ngolia 0–2 Qasden

P Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Qasden                           2   2  0  0    8   3  +5    6
2 Vilita and Turori                2   2  0  0    7   3  +4    6
3 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles      2   1  0  1    3   1  +2    3
4 The Jovannic                     2   0  1  1    3   6  −3    1
  Verceola                         2   0  1  1    3   6  −3    1
6 Ngolia                           2   0  0  2    0   5  −5    0

by **Yakk** » Thu Jan 05, 2023 4:10 pm

YAKKIAN NATIONAL TEAM

FORMATION 4-4-2
STYLE MOD +1.25
COACH: RIchard Presintino (Xanneria)

BOLD Names = starters

GK Egered Khad
GK Tsendahk Morgil-Bahk
GK Nygil Ohkmar
LB Tenzig Lhi
LB Orgil Ambat
LCB Nije Xi
LCB Tsedorgil Naanbagred
RCB Uslan Kirminov
RCB Narmandahk Ayil-Orbat
RB Nyam-Oyush Sahkmar
RB Ohk-Nyam Oranbaat
LDM Nohkmar Ayil-Orbat
LDM Tengza Tibie
RDM Vitaly Openka
RDM Gankaat Egered
LOM Mihkeal Boryozov
LOM Mandahk Agart
ROM Tsend-Agil Orgaat
ROM Jin Tinpeg
LW Tsagaantsoojiin Oryaangabar
LW Ki Ninjao
RW Sohkmaat Tsedinaat
RW Naar-Osir Guyanbar
ST Guyar Cirmahk
MF Bilguur Nyasabahk
DF Angaat Nyar-Ohkbaat

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Where do we go from here?
by Oliver Stanley
The Post Chief Soccer Correspondent

BELLE HAVEN--The Commonwealth of Baker Park National Team are in the midst of what Manager Jennifer Prescott calls “a retooling project” ahead of a World Cup 93 cycle that less than a year away.

There have been video review breakdowns of every minute played by the BPNT over the 45 matches since the end of AOCAF 67 at the Angelotic Temple in Longview, Valanora through the 4-3 win over Nephara in World Cup 92; computer modeling of various tactical adjustments based on data gathered over that period; and one on one interviews with every player that made an appearance in one of those 45 matches.
Prescott explained the process and the reasoning behind it.

“There's an issue here that needs to be identified and we have the resources to get down to the root of the issue. Three of the last four World Cup Finals we have failed to advance from the group stage, admittedly during a period where there has been an enormous amount of change within the structure of the sport on the pitch; it's time for us to look at what we need to do to evolve, adapt, and improve in order for us to get back on the right track. We've gone through periods where we got trapped in Joseph Harrison thinking*: we added extra widgets and counterbalances to correct loss of function rather than going back to start at square one and building a better mousetrap from scratch utilizing the things we learned previously. I think we need to figure out of the system is flawed, if the players we are plugging into the system aren't the right fit, or if we need to fundamentally alter one element or the other.”

Prescott did not rule out a change in leadership if the Commonwealth fail to advance either to the Finals or within the Finals itself. “I'm one person in an unbroken line of people that have taken this team from nobodies to name recognition and respect, and there is surely another person or people who can continue that on into the future. I'm not going to say 'if we don't reach X achievement, I'll step aside' because that might not be the way the Board or Steven or Ally think is best. I live one day as it comes, and that's worked pretty well for me so far in this life.”

A look at the current National Team player pool, based upon conversations with Prescott and others on the coaching staff, although this is largely paraphrasing the consensus views.

Keepers
Elaine King has been regarded as one of the best instructors of goalkeeping in the multiverse for some time and her stable of stoppers shows no signs of running out of talent anytime soon.
Zach Johnston will return for one more cycle, but he hasn't been guaranteed the #1 shirt at this point, with Rod Callaway the heir apparent on the men's side. Ben Kelley has probably played his final NT match, while Geoff Cotterill and Ian Dickerson are rated about even, as both had good showings at the Tea Cup, each allowing only a pair of goals and earning one clean sheet over their 3 starts.
Rose McCormack is the undisputed ladies #1 with Beth Rossi the clear backup, as three others will sort themselves out in the pecking order—Shelly Duffy was unbeaten in her three starts at the Tea Cup, also keeping one clean sheet, while Gillian Albertson & Amanda Fraley need some more starts to give a better idea of their standing.

Defense
The balance has swung decidedly in favor of the women both in terms of experience and rising talent; Charlotte Bauer, Amy Freeman & Julia Edmonds have the most caps, with Emily Bruce, Susie Knight, Magda Kucera & Amy Hardwick catching up; and Heidi Jorgensen, Stacy Milner, Megan Walker & Julie Morris rounding out the places.
By contrast, only Jerome Brooks and Victor Onikambe have more than 20 caps, as Jerrol Allen, Liam Hughes, & Jon Schulman continue see more playing time, with Samuel Obodime, Michael O'Connor, Joe Finnegan, Antoine Jones & Carlton Frost each on a path towards future NT spots; there are also four newcomers who may have to wait for another Wonder Cup to break into a starting XI—Lance Calvert, Eric Lohmeyer, Marty Cooke & Marcus Taylor.

Midfield
The men took the biggest hit in experienced lost after the last cycle, with Kelvin Buxton, Marcus Nolan and Marcus Milton all hanging up their NT boots, leaving Freddie Altman as the only man with more than 30 caps, with Park Jae-Sung and Craig Vetter the only others with more than 25; Alonzo Boyle and Luke Olivera have 46 caps between them, with Shonte Logan, Rob D'Alessandro & Edward Ogwumike having another 16 among themselves. There is some new blood on the way as Jimmy Fourier and Travis Howard could factor into a few training squads along with Kurt Taylor, the 26 year old from Ellesmere Woods who was a surprise call-up for the Tea Cup having never been involved in the National Team setup since he last played for the U-21's.
Like the back line, there is a multi-car pileup in the center of the pitch, where 9 women have earned over 25 caps and four more have gotten experience in the Women's World Cup and the Tea Cup.
Nicole D'Amico, Christa Vuckovic, Paige Eichorn, Lucie Shanahan & Isabelle Wiley are the veterans, with Olivia Ryan, Carly Logan, April Syzmanski & Amber McFairlaine capable of playing in multiple spots in the middle; the foursome of Andrea Kirby, Grace Douglas, Cyndi Garfield & Leanne Bryant notched up a few more appearances in the Tea Cup, but will probably have to be content with cameo roles for awhile longer.

Forwards
It sound like a broken record, but the main focus of the Baker Park offense is heavily female dominated. Alicia Craig will probably play mainly off the bench, with Chandra Mack and Hayley Gibson joined by Serena McDavid and Kerrie Price as the top four probable starters; behind them lurks Elena Diaz, Phan My Kieu, Fatima Khan, Shelby Engels & Erica Riley with former U-21 star Sandra Ikedieze waiting in the wings.
The men have less depth, although a sold core, with Quinton Harris at the top of the pecking order, with Ben Moorman and Kyle Baum having the capability to play up front or in the slot; Peter Obulundi and David Coleman have the inside track to pick up the mantle of Daniel Pryor and Desmond Garvey as the target men, with three newcomers—Terrell London, James Hardison and Chris Sonjini—seeking roles to play in front of net.

*

lineup vs Jabal Akhdar

Callaway; Bruce, Hughes, Freeman; C Logan, Vetter, S Logan, Bryant; Vuckovic (C); Engels, London

by **Oontaz Dert Li Ng** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 10:32 am

The Sultanate of Oontaz had been aware of the presence of Romsten in the region of Atlantian Oceania for some time already before the two nations met on the football pitch during the 68th AOCAF Cup. However, that was as far as both nations knew of each other, at least as far as the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Sultanate was concerned. Sure, there were diplomatic relations between the two nations, but it was only the bare minimum of relations needed to establish the fact that both nations were aware of each other and both nations agreed to not interfere with the domestic affairs of the other. Romsten and the Sultanate of Oontaz were not diplomatic allies, but they were also not enemies. The best word that could be used to describe relations between the Sultanate and Romsten was “neutral.” There were no happy or angry sentiments about Romsten among the people and government of the Sultanate, and as far as the Oontazniks were aware, the people and government of Romsten held a similarly neutral view of the Sultanate. This was neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It only meant that neither Romsten nor the Sultanate had had much more contact in Atlantian Oceania than the bare minimum, and everyone in both countries was content enough to keep up the present state of things.

This was the second time that the Sultanate of Oontaz would meet Romsten in the AOCAF Cup. That meeting was back in the 66th AOCAF Cup in Jabal Akhdar, an edition of the AOCAF Cup that a lot of Oontazniks would prefer to forget because of the results that their team had had there and the reason why they had those results. The Sultanate had been unlucky enough to be drawn in the same group as both Valanora and the Equestrian States, and given the terrible state of the Lions of Sand and Sea at that point, it was almost inevitable that Oontaz would be eliminated from that group. The only victory that they managed to tally in that particular tournament was against Romsten, a 3-1 victory on the first matchday of Group 7. That was the result of the Sultanate’s first meeting with Romsten in the field of football. And with the two teams due to meet again in Valanora, there was a slight air of expectation not only from the fans who were already in Valanora to support their team for the AOCAF Cup, but also from the casual viewers back home who had got word of the Lions of Sand and Sea’s improbable comeback against Hapilopper. Word had quickly spread that Oontaz had actually managed to do the impossible and turn a near-certain defeat against Hapilopper into one of the Sultanate’s most historic football results.

Once again, there wasn’t a lot in the way of expectations for the Lions of Sand and Sea for the match against Romsten. Unlike against Hapilopper, the fans expected the Sultanate to beat Romsten, and handily at that. Maybe not to the point of a 6-0 walloping, but the Lions definitely should have the edge over their opponents. And that was exactly what they did. The Oontaznik football team came out onto the pitch and, buoyed by their unprecedented success against Hapilopper, went up against Romsten and showed the Oontaznik fans what they had wanted from their own team for so long. Goals from Muriel, Rahim Abbasi, and Donnie Ong cemented the victory for the Lions of Sand and Sea and ensured that they would have another three points to their name before the titanic clash between the Sultanate and the hosts, Valanora. Now that was a match in which nobody, not even the most dedicated Oontaznik fan, believed that the Lions of Sand and Sea stood a chance of winning at all. Perhaps a draw could be salvaged against the Marauders, but in the meantime, the Oontazniks were going to enjoy their national team. It was always a good thing to be able to celebrate the small things in life before reality arrived to bring everyone back down to earth.

All three of Oontaz’s goals were aesthetically pleasing to say the least, but Donnie Ong’s first ever goal for the Lions of Sand and Sea had to be the pick of the bunch. The goal came in the last five minutes of the game, a point when most of the players on both sides were already tired from the intensity of the match. The Sultanate had been on the attack right from the very first kickoff, and though Romsten had been able to keep the Oontazniks out, they couldn’t keep doing it forever, and eventually the Oontaznik central midfielder, Muriel, found the back of the net from long range. Rahim Abbasi would chip the ball over the goalkeeper in the second half to increase the Sultanate’s lead over Romsten, but as had been mentioned earlier, the goal from Donnie Ong would eclipse all the others in terms of the sheer cheek and class that he displayed at the same time in the process of scoring. The 23-year-old from the Christianized Mayin Islands, playing for the Habaniyyah Harriers on loan from General Santos F.C., had his back turned to the goal when the ball was played in, but for some reason he knew that he wouldn’t have enough time to get the ball controlled with his feet, so he decided to go for the theatrically impressive but not always accurate bicycle kick instead. And it actually ended up working out in the end for him, making Ong’s first ever goal for the Lions of Sand and Sea a truly memorable one.

However, through all of this, even if the Sultanate of Oontaz was currently sitting pretty in second place in Group A, the fans still didn’t yet harbor any thoughts of the possibility of their country finally winning the AOCAF Cup. That ship had sailed a long, long time ago, so to speak, and if anything else, everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before Valanora showed up to teach them all a lesson. In the meantime though, the fans of the Lions of Sand and Sea were going to enjoy the ride for as long as possible.

  ROMSTEN 0 - 3 SULTANATE OF OONTAZ  
                MURIEL (23')
                ABBASI (59')
                ONG (86')

by **Kimi-Suomi** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 3:19 pm

After The Lodge welcomed us warmly before bludgeoning us to death, the Huuhkajat of Kimi-Suomi were certainly licking their wounds after the events of MD1 but while that loss hurt, it didn't have to be a defining one of their campaign and many hoped it wouldn't. Esko Laaksonen didn't like what happened either but he also recognised that in a 5-game group stage, things aren't automatically screwed after only the first game. His team had the chance to fight back...mutta ottaisivatko he sen?

Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den would host our 2nd game against the Kanadan Dominio (Canadian Dominion), a nation we have certainly encountered a few times already and we will certainly continue to face as the years go by. We certainly did expect that Nolan Cairns was going bring the attacking might to our neutral side....but the game that would be produced between us actually turned into a 7-goal barnburner. Both defenses were having trouble and both Peter Nurmi and Killian Davidson would have their works cut out for them as both teams seemingly decided that going all-out on attack would decide this game and only that way. Jeremiah Symons, Captain of the Geese, would score a brace within the first 20 minutes of the game only for both Valtteri Nordström and Mika Noronen to slot home efforts in the 28th and 39th respectively to send both teams into the changing rooms with a 2-2 draw on the board. The second half was a bit more reserved as tired legs slowed things down, but substitute Maria Tuominen added some much-needed fire back into proceedings thanks to an excellent shot into the to-left corner in the 54th minute. Zayn Point would add his own touch to proceedings thanks to a header in the 66th but the eventual winner would actually come off a 82nd minute corner, with Carl Oesch's shot headed home by Remu Jantunen. It would finish like that, a very dramatic 4-3 win seeing the Huuhkajat bounce back into contention in a very tight group.

The Lodge are 2-0. Kanadan Dominio is 0-2. Everyone else is 1-1, with only GD the determining factor in where everyone is in the table. Having the group be in the balance by this much gives some hope that we can still sneak into the knockouts once more...our next opponents will be the main focus of everyone back home. Banija. The hosts of this group. We've certainly gotten to know Banija pretty well over the past two years, as their AOCAF title run saw them beat us only on penalties. That night was certainly one for the ages but now, things will be different. we will now be facing Banija, the defending champs, at the Stadium of the Restoration, their national stadium. This is their group...and they will certainly be the hosts.
But we beat the SRS in the hockey when they were hosts.
Ehkä historialla on mahdollisuus toistaa itseään?
NOSTA KUIN HUUHKAJAT!

Schedule/Ajoittaa (Group C, all games in Banija)
MD1: vs The Lodge - Mugisha III Memorial Stadium L 0-1 (4th)
MD2: vs Kanadan Dominio [Canadian Dominion] - Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den W 4-3 (4th)
MD3: vs Banija - Stadium of the Restoration
MD4: vs Efnakinen [Efnakia] - Tiones Lumber Field at the Wolf's Den
MD5: vs Mlima Kijani - Mugisha III Memorial Stadium

by **Banija** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 3:45 pm

The Busukuma Post
Covering All of Banija, All of our News, All of the Time

Political What to Watch For: As Lukiiko expands from 500 to 600 members, makes for the most interesting election season 'in a generation'

BUSUKUMA, NATIONAL CAPITOL REGION- Banijan political systems sometimes go through what are called 'resets'. Why that? Some big thing happens that resets the political landscape. We thought we had one after a great corruption scandal following World Cup 79 saw what was previously a small, far-right party, the now-banned Defiance Coalition, sweep to electoral power. In fairness, even if only in power for a few years, the late Matthias Mutebi and his ragtag band will forever be remembered in Banija, and neighboring countries, for all the wrong reasons. Back when we were still a poor backwater- usurped the authority of the Kabaka, responded to a drought by launching a virtual dictatorship, and launched a disastrous war against Equestria and Baker Park during qualifying for World Cup 80- and saw himself eventually ousted by the Royal Family.

That, of course, was a huge political reset. The biggest party in the Lukiiko got banned, and after some time of direct rule by the Royal Family, the Lukiiko was reinstated with elections shortly before World Cup 81(which was on home soil). 412 members of that new Lukiiko had never held national political office before, a modern era record. That brought us to date our first (and only) single-party majority government in Banijan history, and it was a left-wing government, at that. We've had 6 national elections since then, going back and forth between various coalitions, and right and left-wing governments. We currently have a left-wing coalition government in charge.

But the next reset is coming.

Not as hard, of course. But one that can change the political landscape. Via a constitutional trigger, because of census results, the Lukiiko is expanding from 500 to 600 members- the first such expansion in Banijan history, ever since the Lukiiko was re-established upon independence in 1906. The Boundary Commission is set to release drawings for the new seats soon. Now remember- in Banija, we have a mixed constituency system. Half the seats(presently 250, soon to be 300) are apportioned into single member, plurality controlled constituencies. The other half? Based on proportional representation- but perfect national proportional representation (with a minimum of 5% of the PV, and any non-apportioned seats going to the largest party).

What will this change about the political landscape? A few things.

Minority Political Representation

There is just one non-Busogan racial minority in the entire Lukiiko- Ruperto Fox. The Faroleran is in the cabinet, but he obviously is by himself. He could soon be joined by a few others. They expect to draw a second majority-minority seat in Busukuma, and potentially a third in Istria. There will also be a few plurality black majority seats as well, giving some opportunity probably for minority representation elsewhere. Maybe a minority Baker Parker somewhere, or a Quebeocois opportunity seat as well- both potentially centered on Istria, with potential in Hangaza as well.

Will that help transform the Lukiiko? We shall see.

Big Freshman Class

Of course, that means the Lukiiko will have minimum 100 freshmen in the Lukiiko- a big class. But then you have the regular turnover that you have between elections, and you'll have an abnormally large freshmen class, across all parties. But that means you'll have newbies immediately hitting the frontbench, looking to make an impact. Freshmen in cabinet. Freshmen in the shadow cabinet. Who knows? But it'll be a once in a lifetime opportunity where the Lukiiko is rapidly expanding. What a time to win a seat, right? All politicians are ambitious, but expect this class to be particularly ambitious.

Other News
- At this point in her pregnancy, Princess Muirne has settled into the Royal residence in Herzegovina City. "By tradition, Banijan royals are born in Herzegovina City- as tradition dictates, to honor it as the nation's first capitol." Said a royal observer. "So at around the 6 month point in pregnancy, expectant mothers and her husbands move there full-time. Quite a boring part of the pregnancy, but as it goes."
- Banija suffered a huge upset at the AOCAFs, as Mlima Kijani downed the Kadongo Kamu, by a score of 1-0, at the Stadium of the Restoration. While Banija dominated possesion and shots on goal, Mlima Kijani's defense was too strong for Banija. "We couldn't really challenge the keeper, as their defense dominated us on the day." Pam Scott told reporters. "We need to get our shit together quickly- Kimi-Suomi went to the semifinals just last cycle. If we fall to them, we could have some serious embarrassment here on home soil." The two will play at the National Stadium tonight, in Busukuma.

by **Milchama** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 4:39 pm

*Near the end of the Qasden-Ngolia game*

"Booooo!!!!!!!!!"

"Booooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

"Give us some real offense!"

"Yeah! Look at that first round in Alexandria, you come here to New Sparta and try to get all defensive now! Stop it!"

"What's this like 0-0 draw stuff!"

"Booooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Announcer]: The fans are getting restless here at Spartan Stadium as the 6 teams in Group F only scored a total of 3 goals in the whole game. That plus the additional loss, while expected, of Pluvia and the Saxean Isles has put Milchamian fans in a big muddle. Basically nobody is happy right now.

[Announcer 2]: Oh no this isn't good, it looks like some fans have entered the field.

[Announcer]: Are they attacking the players?

[Announcer 2]: No it just looks like they want to be more personal in their insults

"God this stadium is too loud"

"I don't think they can hear us"

"Ok well let's make sure they can hear us"

*they climb onto the field*

"HEY YOU! Qasden forward! You have to shoot more!"

"Yeah! What was that?! Like, you had 3 opportunities in the first half and somehow managed to pass out of two of them and miss the other one way wide"

"Get your shots on target!"

"Anyway, beyond that. Good win! And hope you do better in the 3rd MD"

"HEY YOU! YES YOU! VERCEOLA MIDFIELDER!"

"You have to make more attacking passes"

"Like you need to play more Gegenpressing and move into heavy metal football!"

"Yeah, all this backpasses and bs need to stop"

"Everything is about moving forward and scoring goals"

"Do it right!"

[Announcer]: Well it looks like the Spartan fans, always the weirdest and most spirited of the lot are just telling the players how to play football

[Announcer 2]: And frankly that's uncalled for, that's not their job. It's our job!

[Announcer]: In the meantime we wait for the international backlash to this weird little saga

[Announcer 2]: Definitely!

by **Demot** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 5:15 pm

David Masteron III was a bit flustered upon his arrival in Valanora and being quickly transported the an impressive looking building in Raynor City. He was told that it was the headquarters of the VSC, the organization that apparently organized and administrated the bulk of sports in the Eternal Empire. There he was meeting with one of the organizations representatives, parked in an fancy office with some interesting looking architecture. He had always been told that the elves could work small wonders with their engineering but it took seeing it in person for David to fully understand and appreciate what the elves had been capable of in their heyday.

"So let me get this straight, you want me to accept an offer for Demot to host a trio of knockout stage matches for this AOCAF, despite our federation not even bidding to host one of the groups. Additionally this was not a request from your own federation but one of the others from within the region, who themselves also did not hid to host a group stage?"

The representative frowned slightly while readjusting their glasses to sit further up their nose and giving the Demotian a stern and somewhat unimpressed look. "Yes, that is very much the case as we have presented it to you Mr. Masteron, it appears that your nation has a benefactor who wants to see Demot be given some spotlight. It is ultimately up to Demot if they wish to accept this proposal, but we would like an answer in the next forty-eight hours to ensure that all the proper preparations can be made before the end of the group stage, should Demot choose to accept."

"Why am I, neither a member of the government nor a member of the federation from Demot being asked this instead of either of them? I am merely a citizen with a famous last name, I am not really the sort of person who should be making these sort of decisions I believe. Why have you not asked the Queen or thr President of our FA or another high ranking member?" David was now getting a bit frustrated, ashe was only expecting to be a token representative for the opening ceremony, not here on some sort of official business. It made absolutely no sense why this proposal was needing his stamp of approval when he was in ni actual position of authority to make that sort of judgment call.

"On that point we are agreed. However we did ask your government as well as your federation and both parties put your name forward as the correct person to assess the situation. Something about knowing the pulse of the nation and having been a key figure in getting your domestic league back to a fully professional status. Clearly the people back in Demot value your opinion greatly, even if you yourself do not think you should be held in a high regard." The representative calmly slid the papers back in front of David, collected in a manilla folder.

David had read over these papers twice and knew the proposal in full, as made by someone with the Vilita FA. They were proposing that Demot be made host of two of the Round of Sixteen fixtures, which would then lead into a Quarterfinal before completely being moved to Valanora. It was an unusual situation, given that Demot had not bid to host a group when offered the opportunity but it seemed they were given a second chance through the most peculiar of situations.

"Well, many of the stadiums have been well maintained since the last time Demot has hosted anything, though they are probably lacking in some of the more modern amenities. We'll, a few stadiums like the House of Blades might even have those, given Likewell Kirk stayed professional despite the dark age of football Demot underwent. Despite feeling out of my depth and like I really shouldn't have a say, I am inclined to accept the proposal."

by **Squornshelan Remnant States** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 6:23 pm

A Moral Victory
Salwan Mynhier, CHALESM

The Black-and-Reds got a badly needed win for their hopes of AOCAF silverware in matchday 2. Having already dropped a match to Group B's second seed, Cordia, it was vitally important to not have a repeat of that result against the third seed, Tropicorp. It also goes a bit without saying that a match against a, well, a Quasi-Governmental State dominated by a single corporation is an important one for Confederate supporters. To the average eye in the SRS, Tropicorp bears more than a passing resemblance to the old Imperial government and the corporate interests that dominated its policy-making. The outcome of a football match has little bearing on the moral high ground of economic and governmental systems, and has even less effect on the actual situation in the nations involved, but it always does feel good to get one over on a pack of soulless capitalist bastards.

Surprisingly enough, the Techies who took the field were from Tropicorp's human contingent, rather than the birds, who play the game without needing to be paid. That decision probably won't look to good on the old P&L. The bottom line won't be helped either by Ettori scoring, which probably earns them a bonus of some kind. Or maybe they're just happy enough with the data collected? They are with the Science Team after all. In any case, by the time Ettori scored the Black-and-Reds had been comfortably in control of the match and two goals up for over half an hour, getting a goal from Volam just before the half and another from Bondarov just after. Why is it that players always seem to perform best when they have something personal on the line? Playing against former teams, or the countries where they play professionally always seems to bring out the best in every footballer. Maybe Tropicorp can put some funding into a study of that kind of motivation. If they could find a way to put that in a bottle they'd be able to afford another country or two.

by **Pluvia and the Saxean Isles** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 7:02 pm

Pluvian Jewish unity foundering in Milchama?

Daniel Goldman, Marienburg Week

As the national football team went down 1-0 to the giants of Vilita & Turori (probably better than expected), the three-person Pluvian Jewish delegation to Milchama was going down as well. The three rabbis squabbled over their agenda and meeting different sects of Jews in the majority-Jewish nation. Does this portend stormy seas ahead for the nascent Pluvian Jewish dialogue?

Heading to Milchama along with the national football team were three Rabbis representing the three major streams of religious Judaism in Pluvia: Sara Weiss, the Reform representative, Isaac Shapiro, the Masorti representative, and Gamaliel Yaakov, the Orthodox representative. Dialogue between the different groups of Jews in Pluvia had previously been considered difficult due to the Orthodox movement mainly being led by Haredim who opposed deviation from halakhic law. However, the Orthodox community in Pluvia is not entirely Haredi, with Modern Orthodox elements existing as well. It is from this stream that Gamaliel Yaakov comes, as many in the Chief Rabbinate Council felt that his predecessor, Reuven Abramov, was too overly aggressive towards non-Orthodox and even non-Haredi Jews. There was much hope among religious Jews, and even secular ones, that this visit might revive a spirit of Jewish co-operation in Pluvia and allow our Jewish community to become less isolated from the world.

However, it does not appear as though this initial unity may last. Rabba Weiss has been quoted as saying that her "main goal is to encounter the diversity of Milchaman Jewish experience", and as such, has enthusiastically invited representatives of many Jewish groups, from the rejectionist Karaites and "heretical" Sabbateans to the ultra-conservative Mitnagdim and ultra-leftist Liberationists. Rabbi Yaakov, who expressed interest in comparing Pluvian Talmudic commentaries to Milchaman ones and visiting yeshivas and midrashas, has already stated he "does not intend to give the time of day to heretics, religious 'mixers', or those who have abandoned the Law, religion, and our forefathers altogether." This presumably means any group of Jews that cannot be considered Reform, Masorti, or Orthodox; one wonders what he might make of The Marienburg Week's editorial board. Rabbi Shapiro, who has said that he is interested in finding descendants of Pluvian Jews who may have fled persecution and pogroms in the homeland, and observing how Judaism has shaped Milchama, has been desperately trying to keep the peace. Shapiro has said he doesn't "think that meeting with all Jewish groups in Milchama is practical and may not be productive," but also that "pre-emptively making judgments and assumptions doesn't further Jewish unity."

It isn't a stretch to say that this delegation may be on the rocks. Perhaps that stems from sending three religious officials who naturally have strong feelings and don't agree on everything. The delegation might have benefited from Jewish anthropologists, sociologists, and others of related fields, who could have centered the trip on learning about Jewish culture and provided a secular counterweight. But you can't get three Pluvian Jews in a room without four arguments breaking out, so maybe it's not a sign that all is lost? In any case, the hopes of all Jews are with our three ambassadors; may their journey be fruitful and lead to a multiplication of relations and connections between our community and Milchama.

OOC Note: The Marienburg Week, formerly a Pluvian Yiddish newspaper, now published in Modern Pluvian after an editorial board with an assimilationist bent took over decades ago

by **The Cordian Isles** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 7:27 pm

The Cordasfjord Daily - Sports

Cordian Clubs Secure Two Champions League Spots For CIFA

It’s been six years since the first Cordian football clubs entered the IFCF to little fanfare outside of the Isles. The teams that went… kind of sucked compared to their international competition to be honest. But since then, things have changed. With an influx of foreign players to the league (this season excluded, of course) and a fairly strong Cordian youth program boosted by the national football team playing overseas, the Cordian club teams have steadily become more competitive with their storied opponents. And now, the CIFA has reached new heights. Despite a lackluster cycle that saw only one team reach a group stage - the AT - the CIFA is now ranked the 32nd best league in the world, allowing it to send two teams to the IFCF Champions League next season. This is a huge development, giving the CIFA more opportunities to earn coefficient and more chances to advance teams further in competition.

The Champions League spot will be added to the league table, so that the league champions and runners-up will go to the Champions League. Third and fourth will now advance to the Challengers Cup, and fifth to the Vilitan Cove Invitational. The last Challengers Cup seed will still go to the Cordia Cup champions, but in the case that they are already IFCF-qualified, fifth will go to the Challengers Cup and sixth to the Vilitan Cove Invitational.

There has been some celebration around the league, but Sebastian Voll summed it up best during a pre-AOCAF interview:

“Yes, it’s very good for the sport in Cordia. Yes, it makes it easier to qualify, we’ll have more representatives, all of that. But if I’m being honest, the focus is always going to be in winning the title rather than going to the IFCF. That’s a secondary goal, sure, but we’re looking more at winning the league rather than winning international championships that we know aren’t realistic for where we’re at now.”

by **Vilita and Turori** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 7:32 pm

 Vilita and Turori [6] - [3] Verceola
				
	GOALS:	Vilita and Turori 	:: 9' Cuoabaza Orani’aoa:: 30' Loala Inkabu:: 37' Minjiakuj Sklinai:: 46' Fyin Miateal:: 47' Loala Inkabu:: 74' Tukaara Milanzi         		
	STATS:	Vilita and Turori 	:: Possession: 66%:: Shots: 12:: Corners: 19	Verceola 	:: Possession: 34%:: Shots: 9:: Corners: 17
	Lineup:	[GK] Reino Kononen, [D.] Karek Edgeli, [D.] Planio’o Nrujsa, [D.] Narri Sebapilo, [ML]  Limu Katarakhna, [MC]  Fyin Miateal, [MC] Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MR]  Trezisi Rokopolis, [FC]  Kunaro Tlikara, [FC] Minjiakuj Sklinai, [FC] Loala Inkabu			
	Bench:	[FC] Clarana Refiami, [FC] Tukaara Milanzi, [M] Naraiza Ruaplal, [M] Mikele Alasita, [U ] Treasvo Tlikara, [D] Tero Alatalo, [GK] Ukamai Talingri

 Vilita and Turori [1] - [0] Pluvia and the Saxean Isles
				
	GOALS:	Vilita and Turori 	:: 6' Tukaara Milanzi              		
	STATS:	Vilita and Turori 	:: Possession: 55%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 7	Pluvia and the Saxean Isles 	:: Possession: 45%:: Shots: 2:: Corners: 0
	Lineup:	[GK] Ukamai Talingri, [D.] Karek Edgeli, [D.] Tero Alatalo, [D.] Narri Sebapilo, [ML]  Lumlao Noauryua, [MC]  Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MC] Mikele Alasita, [MC]  Fyin Miateal, [MR]  Imauka Lkomorak, [FC] Clarana Refiami, [FC] Tukaara Milanzi			
	Bench:	[FC] Loala Inkabu, [FC] Minjiakuj Sklinai, [M] Trezisi Rokopolis, [M] Limu Katarakhna, [U ] Naraiza Ruaplal, [D] Mikaela Äijälä, [GK] Reino Kononen

The Vilita and Turori Eel Cat Things got off to a fast start in Milchama for Group F action in the 68th AOCAF Cup. After finishing runner up in AOCAF 67 to Banija, many were looking at the slightly more experienced Vilita and Turori squad as potential challengers for the AOCAF 68 Title. After scoring six goals in the opener against Verceola, there was no doubt that the Vilita and Turori attack had come charged up to Milchama but it was the defense that left all the questions conceding 17 corner kicks and 3 goals to their opponents on the opening matchday. Many questions were asked of the Vilita and Turori Staff decision to name Reino Kononen and Ukamai Talingri as the starters for the AOCAF Cup. Kononen did make six saves but would lose the starting job heading into the next match against Pluvia and the Saxean Isles. The Pluvia side looked very strong throughout the match and could be breakaway contenders to advance to the knockout rounds. Ukamai Talingri looked better in their start than Kononen, keeping Vilita and Turori in the lead with multiple saves following Tukaara Milanzi's opener and the Eel_Cat Things would hold on to complete a 2-0 start to their Milchaman Voyage.

by **Mlima Kijani** » Fri Jan 06, 2023 7:49 pm

Banija 0 – 1 Mlima Kijani
Goals: ; Mũrũngarũa 48’

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