Then again. “COW’S ROTTEN TOE… and I’m not touching it!” The thumbnail is gross (and by thumbnail I mean the video, not the nail of the cow’s toe - actually, I mean both, that was also gross). I don’t understand why this is being recommended to me. This time I watch about thirty seconds, just out of morbid curiosity, before closing it out to listen to music instead. Why’s the algorithm so weird?
One last one - “COW WITH A BIG PROBLEM?!” - before I shut off my computer and go to bed. I don’t think about it any more. Why would I?
Then I wake up. It’s early morning, probably just before 5 - the sky is a dark desaturated blue, the moon sneaking off towards the horizon. I stare up, appreciating the beauty of the dim stars, and the gentle lullabies of owls in the trees, and the earthy scent of hay in my nose - and then realise I was meant to be in my bed. I sit up, confused.
I hear footsteps behind me. Swishing in the grass. Gentle moos. “Who’s there?” I call out.
“Sh,” they answer immediately. I try to look at them but it’s too dark. There are several people, all of their features indistinguishable in the darkness. Behind them the cows advance, a great horde of them, dense as a cloudbank. But oddly I don’t feel scared. The closest to me hands me a burlap sack and says in a low voice, “We’re collecting sharp rocks so that the cows don’t step on them.”
“There!” whispers one of the others, pointing to a tuft of grass. We move over to it and descend on the stones, a flurry of smooth action. And then another, and another. All the time the warm mass of cows moves forward behind us. Our bags rattle like a pouch of charms.
We reach a river bank, and I empty my stones out on to a large, water-polished rock that gleams like a mirror.
“Each one of those,” I hear a low voice saying, “is a cow that you’ve protected.”
I count them. One hundred and twenty nine.
I come out from the trees on the bank and it’s late afternoon all of a sudden. Golden light like it’s trapped in amber. The sunlight is bright on the leaves and on the cows’ backs. Still I can’t make out any faces.
“Here,” one says. They are sitting by a cow, trimming its hoof. “Look.” There, embedded in the soft cushion of the cow’s foot - a sharp black rock, jagged like a volcano’s tooth. They trim back the hard horn of the outer hoof, then the softer part, more gently, until finally they extract the rock. “It would have hurt for her to walk,” they say mournfully. “We do what we can.”
I go to the cows - how can I not? - and they regard me with their big black pools of eyes. They limp towards me and offer me their hooves, and I find the tools beside me in the grass before I have a chance to wonder how. I trim and cut and draw out stones until by my side there’s a pile of rocks, and all around me are forty one serene cows, eighty two big black relieved eyes, one hundred and sixty four healed hooves.
By now the sun is low in the sky. One of them comes up to me, pats me on the shoulder. “You’ve done well, my friend,” they say. “But it’s time for you to go. Your kind can’t stay here long.”
“But they need me. Let me stay. Please.”
“You can still help us, from the other world.” I realise I recognise their voice. A snippet from somewhere. Another life, perhaps - I barely remember. There was a white glowing screen, and… a bed…?
“How?” I ask.
“It’s simple, my friend.” They fix me with a sad, knowing smile. “Moove and endorse.”
Major 2022-06-29
First Warden Grea Kriopia
High Constable Sir Merlin
Chamberlain Luca
Warden-Commander Vincent Drake
Warden-Commander Haku
Warden-Commander Tim
Warden-Lieutenant Quebecshire
Warden-Lieutenant Sulenia
Warden Wolflandil
Warden Aav
[ADN] Takkaviita
[LDF/SB] New Makasta
[LDF] DinoNet
[SPSF] Pronoun
[SPSF] Purple Hyacinth
[SPSF] Venatrix
[TMG] Noverra
Defences: 129
Herd United
Les Rouge Mann
Parallel Pacific
Frux
Hexalia
Deep Sea 9
Le Royaume De France
Celtic Nations
Hundrati Union
Sokial
Wayne
Riddle
Deep Sea 4
The Sovereign States Of Dictators
Lezivuel
Anaheim
Das Deutsches Kaiserreich
Hukashaka
Liberty Union
Continente Perdido
The New World Of Name
Jxa
The Disputed Territory Of Helsinki
The United Nations Of Esnal
Do What You Want
Southeastern Conference
The Terrible Countries Of The World
Orlando Florida
The North Pacific Rebellion
Newingtonia
Real Boy Archipelago
Confederation Of Terranovo Football
The Free Alliance Of Aldorria
Feminist Frontier
Regions Of Democracy
The Jungles Of Ooga Booga
Deep Sea 5
Dachshund Region
Makat
Dachshund Region
Colonial Governments In Exile
Christian Nations
Riskord
Region Of Ships Bigger Than The Galaxy
The Holy See Of Vagen
The Southern Alliance
Mc Mc Mc
New United States Of America
Louis Vuitton Dons
Aboard
Viera Forest
Gensokyo Grassroots Federation
Alcatraz
The Poopy Empire
Detags: 3
Jewish Autonomous Region Of Crimea
Alliance Pour La Domination Mondial
Council Of Ponderosa
Minor 2022-06-29
First Warden Grea Kriopia
High Constable Sir Merlin
Chamberlain Luca
Warden-Commander Roavin
Warden-Constable Nakari
Warden-Lieutenant Quebecshire
Warden-Lieutenant Merni
Warden-Lieutenant Sulenia
Warden Ducky
Warden Fauxia
[ADN] Takkaviita
[LDF] Craig
[RRA] frattastan
[SPSF/FNDA] Warrior
Detags: 38
Moonlighters
Aberration
Greater Middle East Cold War
Leppburg Islands
United Nations Of Liberalia
Anomaly
The Meat Grinder
Accolades
Union Of Independent States
Union Of Jeremianfive Nationalists
Mylktopia
Post Russian Nation
Memeopolis
Emu And Her Lost Nations
0000000000 Soviet Union
Norvus Ordo Seclorum
Open Ocean 10
Intergalactic Sector Ab
Congress Of Nations
The Kidney Stoners
Democratic Union Of Humanity
Giga Federation
Fluffy Squishfish
Cheesy Region
Russian Order
Economy Of Euroasia
The Nation Of Goku
United Maka Soviet Socialist Republics
Abstained
Academies
Oay
I Rember
Coalition Of Freedom
Isb Tok
The Abyss Empire
Unregion
Abraham
Belisa
