Baptism of Fire 78

by **Mertagne** » Fri Apr 29, 2022 3:15 pm

Third Place Play-off

I've been Mertagne, and that's one way to go out with a bang. Congratulations to the winner of this third place play off, and congratulations to the other team for making it this far. Thank you all for a wonderful tournament - stay tuned until tomorrow for the final, live from Farfadillis!

by **New Eestiball** » Fri Apr 29, 2022 3:57 pm

Poisoning revealed as cause of Efnakia's shocking success

It was revealed today after chemical tests in Tallinn that Efnakia has been poisoning the drinks of opposing players since the knockout stage began. There's a reason why their opponents have barely been able to score. No, it's not the skill. It's the will to win. There is a prize for winning, so there's definitely some incentive to cheat. And Efnakia has done just that.

Read more with a subscription to the Tallinn Tribune.

by **Efnakia** » Fri Apr 29, 2022 11:07 pm

OOC Note: I’ll be ignoring the prior post from New Eestiball for IC purposes as it violates my RP permissions (godmodding without prior permission).

Kak, ssa bet’ hesse.
Ssa bet’ hesse.

Kem dalfom akccosse mohos kok. Sasmu Kacceda, kem oss sso Una he Abmas. Momol al am koddle ho Yutssie Sorma he Ffilita, samko kem moff sso Efnakia. Ha esaf e ccaddoddma ssum. Mo Kacceo ha hukasmom kem tesu penalty ass Ayaka, te ol dok.
Ccam fuk heffnana ol ssu kem Dumo hom Ccahor.
Ccam fuk heffnana ol.

Kacceda akccobarcceb kem dabrum hel, hom akccoccoss kem erfe bef kem heb. Dorfo fek. Dorfo fek.
E mot’ sor em.

Te ssek Efnakia te kem mebarcceb uf ass kem Baptism of Fire den… OL HUDOCC! SSO OSSPADOCC! EFNAKIA AKCCUL TE KEM MEBARCCEB UF! DDOM TE E BEF PENALTY KICKS!
DDO KAL HE FERDULLAELE, EFNAK CCANDATO!
Ae, ccotna, mu al heffnana!
”Mu al heffnana” ssu fet’!

Efnakia lu kotsa he KEM AKE UF ASS OL HADDMAK, ssoff Aleirave, he Ferdullaele, he al kan ccadoff, hom da ha LU MOL te cca lu.
Tass ccafel, hom HOK EFNAKIA!

TOUCHING DISTANCE
Three penalty stops send Dumo hom Ccahor through to final

RENÉ SKAÉ, Sziorsia, Farfadillis – Sasmu Kacceda fired home the decisive penalty after a goalless draw through extra time as the Blue and Golds defeated Kamisato Ayaka Nation, 3-2 on penalty kicks.

Through 45 minutes, this semifinal was one of the most boring games of football in recent memory. Through 90 minutes, it was (on the pitch, not including the multiple bloody gorings of spectators by a giant scorpion in an apparent fucked-up form of Sziorsian halftime show) one of the most boring games not involving Audioslavia or Ko-oren in recent history. Through 120 minutes, many in the stadium were fully asleep (at least presumably, though that may have also been due to the effects of the giant scorpion – we have learned not to underestimate Farf wildlife). But as is the magic of knockout competitions, a winner had to be decided, and so it would go to penalty kicks.

It is still entirely unclear to the Efnak media what Kamisato Ayaka Nation’s whole “deal” is, but all their players are listed on the teamsheet as being named “Kamisato Ayaka”, and they all look the same, so we’ve generally chosen not to investigate further. What we do know, though, is that they’re not that good at taking penalty kicks. The Ayakas had the first kick, and the first Ayaka propelled the ball with some form of witchcraft (which they had used throughout the game, to the horror of the Faith and Spirit dignitaries in the crowd) directly into the waiting arms of Efnak goalkeeper Mo Kacceo, who had correctly guessed the direction the ball was going.

For Efnakia, the star striker Lanel Kamosspeffe went first, and he comfortably rolled the ball into the bottom right corner after a stutter-step baited the goalkeeper into committing the wrong direction. The next two Ayakas and the next Efnak taker, central midfielder Bapam Katefess, all scored, but the third Efnak taker, 19-year-old Uhtetul Kahelto, saw his high shot propelled over the bar by yet more witchcraft, and was not allowed to retake the kick despite protestations to the referee as, apparently, witchcraft is not against the rules of soccer.

His miss put the score at 2-2 after three kicks apiece, but it wouldn’t be punished as Kacceo again guessed correctly and batted the ball away from the bottom left corner. Winger Koktamo Kalafhaf stepped up next, looking to give the Blue and Golds the advantage, but he lost his nerve while attempting a similar run-up to Kamosspeffe and tamely fired wide of the left post. That mistake wouldn’t be punished either, though, as Kacceo would again earn his keep as he leapt brilliantly to save a shot that was seemingly destined for the top left corner.

That just left the captain, Sasmu Kacceda, to make the long walk to the penalty spot, and he fired home with a thumping shot into the top right corner to send the largely Efnak crowd into raptures and the team into the final. In the other semifinal, two errors from Gortoleki goalkeeper Malone Newport left him “ratioed” online as Aleirave defeated his side 3-1 in extra time, leaving Aleirave as the one to have to make the journey from Mertagne to Farfadillis for the final. The final is set to take place at the famed (and at the time of writing, still on fire) La Fantás in the former capital of the former state of Farfadillis, Ferdullaele. This match, as befitting Efnak government broadcasting regulations regarding “events of great national importance”, will be broadcast on every television channel, with pre-match coverage beginning only on MMSsE1 and MMSsE3 in Efnak and Common respectively, with the newly-launched provincial channel of MMSsET-MEL broadcasting the game as the first ever soccer match in Melhamese. Hok Efnakia!

Thanks, dear reader! Buccoss kal, medunffob kasal! Ccam son ccamol teb he kem Efnak-asske bef bet’ tem ssa.

Ccam son omol ohaskof he al onka asske faf kem mat' ass kem Onka Ssaddo Loksob (Ssufuta hom Kodam) 395. Ccam ssal-lak ccamol omabu he Efnakia hom ccamol an Efnak ssaccess "memekmab mef".

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by **Forbidden Territories** » Sat Apr 30, 2022 9:05 am

The Aftermath (BoF - 78)

Coach Matt Ress entered the airport terminal to see a flock of reporters gathered around. Truthfully speaking, he was way too tired after the last match's ordeals, so he did not check any news or publications regarding their loss. He was sad but not disappointed. A quarter final finish in their first ever WCC sanctioned event is an impressive feat regardless, even more so when you account for the dangerous and treacherous conditions of the Mertagne and Farfardillis where every single match ( yes! This includes the one that has happened till now) has had some controversy or other. Back to back knockout matches is tough and all credit must be given to Malone Newport who saved around 14 goals - an incredible amount. Had he not played, perhaps the score would have been much different.

It is truly poetic how the end of the Forther's demise was by a nation pkaying a game of perfect, impenetrable defence and a goal from counter attack. The primary strategy of Forbidden Territories which in the end resulted in their downfall. Forgetting the base resulting in failure. Some might ssy this is also partially due to the hubris of the players -- they had just defeated one of the best teams 5 - 0 and expected a cakewalk (despite knowing that they had ample stadium knowledge unlike Macbon). Ress wondered whether he should have just stuck on and let it go to penalties. Knott was livid , he wanted to show his prowess and his skills, however the safr hands of Newport had allowed none of that to happen. Whenever he shot a ball, it either got deflected by Malone, caught by Malone or simply missed the goal by a whisker. While there was no hate against him for failing to score a goal, he still was disappointed; it was a really unlucky day for him, and he hoped to make amends for it in the future World Cup Qualifiers.

As Ress made way through the pandemonium of reporters, he was attempting to evade, ignore or dodge any questions regarding the match. He did not want to releive the horror of that day seeing every single one of his team's shot being missed . To add salt to the wound, the only goal of the match was from Drummond Douglas who after receiving a pass from Randall netted the ball into the goal at the 88th minute, just as the match was about to go into Added Extra Time. When the ball hit the back of the net,the Forther supporters all at once shutted up, as they could not beleive what they had witnessed. On the other hand the Gortolekuan Fans were ecstatic, and started cheering them on harder. Ress wanted to implement some new tactics and try to force a win by substituting more attackers, transitioning into a 2-3-1-4. A never before seen combination by Forthers. Alas! It was all in vain, for time was over, and the Forthers had to book their return ticket back to home.

" A 2-3-1-4 that late in game, what was the point?"
"What are the tactics you plan to use in WCQ?"
"Thoughts on Knott's purple match despite him not winning the game"
"Any new formations?"
"What are your expectations for the WCQ?"
"Why was not Rafique played?"
"Harowitz deserved a place right?"
"Was Gortolekuan victory a fluke?"
"We have seen Forthers failing in key moment, what do you think is the reason?"

"I am sorry, I cannot answer all of these questions at once, I have an urgent meetint" Ress said , excusing himself to his cab while the paparazzis were hounding him. He sighed as the cab left the terminal. " Well.. that was something" He said and opened his mobile phone to check the latest scores of the Baptism Of Fire - Gortolekua had just defeated the Kamisato Ayaka Nation in a 3-2 thriller. He was hoping they had won the Cup, as he would have some excuse to the hounding media , claiming that they had lost to the eventual Champions of the cup, ".. but a 3rd place finish is still better that nothing I suppose ", he said looking over at Kamisato Ayaka Nation, who had like clones of the same person." Not the weirdest thing I have seen, and that says something" he thought. He then checked the finals . The finals were between Aleraive and Efnakia at La Fántas. The probabilty of Efnakia winning is 56% while Aleraive winning is 46% showed up on his screen as he clicked the match button. " Well it seems like two very evenly matched teams, better hope for a good final".

by **Aleirave** » Sat Apr 30, 2022 1:34 pm

Kilavi, Klysevia

"M-Major Klessekin?? I... I..."

Mikhail Tadafirov was left speechless. How much had the major heard? Was he going to rat him out for revealing Kyslyev's plans?

"Look... I don't know who it was you were talking to... but I understand your worry about the invasion. I know how you feel right now."

"Wait... you do?"

"Of course I do! Ever since the first day I signed up for the Army, I was always worried about what we might have to do, what the president's plans might entail... and now, those plans entail something that isn't so pretty. I get that. It's never easy to go into another nation and strip them of their peace and their freedom..."

"So why go into the Army?" Mikhail asked, slightly confused by the Major's perceived hypocrisy. "I was forced to conscript, but why did you join? What made you want to do all of this, knowing what it meant? Why not just set out on an expedition to settle a new island, or a quiet life owning a bookstore?"

"For me, it was a matter of family pride. Klessekins have always been right there to defend the island, right back to Maria Klessekina, the legendary vanquisher of the elven race..."

"Elves?"

"Ha ha ha, it's all just a story of course, there were never elves on Klysevia... after all, we've been here over a thousand years, our early history is bound to be full of tall tales. What is true, however, is her legacy. Klessekins have always been there to serve in the Klysevian Army since before there even was a Klysevia. It's just our little family tradition... does your family have any traditions?"

"No, not really... apart from out annual family reunions, which draw all of our family from across the ocean..."

"Well, then you understand how important it is for family to stay connected... we stay connected through our service. No matter what my objections are, I serve for them."

"Wait wait wait, let's back it up. You aren't mad at me for saying I'm against the war?"

"Of course not Mikhail, I'm agreeing with you... but General Mehevets can never, ever know."

"Thank goodness Major Klessekin... I thought I was toast there. You're a real life-saver."

"No need to thank me, kid. Let's just hope that, after this is all said and done, we can go home safe and sound... or better yet, not have to go in the first place."

Lahaira, Aleirave

"What the heck??"

Governor Adari'ena was shocked at what Igor Tadafirov was telling him, arguably even more shocked than Igor was when he first heard.

"Yes, Governor, an invasion. Kyslyev is sending troops in soon, to try and 'rein us back in'..."
"How long do we have, Mr. Tadafirov?"
"From what I've heard, there were some issues in Bestairitza, so they won't be able to get any troops over here for a couple of months or so... but it's hard to tell when exactly they'll get here. We need to be ready."

Governor Adari'ena was floored. He knew that the Klysevian invasion would, even if it failed, destroy the entire island's infrastructure should they so much as land. All of his and King William's work, gone in a heartbeat.

"Well, there's only one thing we can really do in this situation, is there... well, I suppose I should get it over with."

He picks up the phone and starts dialling a number, one that certainly wasn't from the island, judging by the tones Igor was hearing. "Who are you--" Igor tried to ask, before being interrupted by the Governor saying "William?"

"Refilene! How has it been?" the king replied in his usual happy-go-lucky tone.

"There's a man here to speak to you... all I can really say is, it isn't good... at all." Refilene then turned to Igor to hand him the phone. "This is the king on the other end of the line..." he said. "Don't be shy, he's a nice fellow. Tell him everything. Everything. This is our only chance to save our home."

"Y-Y-Your Highness?" Igor said as he shakily picked up the receiver.

"Please, just call me William, I've never liked the whole titles thing." the king replied, just as he had for seemingly everyone he had talked to in the last seven years.

"Okay, William... Aleirave is in grave danger."

by **Farfadillis** » Sat Apr 30, 2022 2:08 pm

Final

Aleirave 1–1 Efnakia (2–1 AET)
at La Fantás, kick off 20:00.
Match delayed because Faroleran state agents burst into the Aleirave team's hotel minutes before the match to test all of their food under the pretense of it possibly being poisoned, citing "highly trustworthy foreign media" as the reason for their worries. A nice lunch was had by everyone and the only one who got poisoned was officer Malapata, who'd brought home-made food even though everyone knows his wife hates his guts.

Congratulations to Aleirave, commiserations to Efnakia and all of the other pathetic losers. It has been a very fun tournament to host and we hope to see everyone putting in the same effort and having the same fun (if you did have fun) in World Cup qualifiers!

The tournament's best eleven will be posted within seven days or so. Hopefully.

by **New Eestiball** » Sat Apr 30, 2022 2:23 pm

Thank you, the Tallinn Tribune is definitely not a nationalist fake news site.

by **Farfadillis** » Mon May 23, 2022 10:36 am

Mertagne wrote:
Farfadillis wrote:The tournament's best eleven will be posted within seven days or so. Hopefully.

And so it was that the corporate executives and data crunchers at Boom! analysed the performance of every athlete at the tournament, determining who would take the coveted title as one of the best eleven. The lucky winners were decided, and a glitzy press release was to be distributed across the usual channels with an accompanying conference.

But then it was revealed that a brand new source of uranium had been discovered deep in the mountains of Fröndt, and all hands at Boom! were asked to help out with the effort of securing the site from Fröndti, flying jellyfish, and an extremely pissed off 'yeti' that claimed it was a 'sovereign citizen'.

Once the fallout was contained (not the fallout, that's probably blowing across the region by now), it was revealed that one plucky journalist had camped out in the room that was being used for the press conference in which the execs never arrived, and in addition they had made a fantastic fort out of chairs and had managed to subsist on growing legumes in the ceiling using condensation from the air vents and a few loose seeds that they'd found in a jacket pocket.

The Boom! press release was delivered to that journalist, and they set about releasing it to you. So, without further ado...

The Boom!™ Best Eleven - Baptism of Fire 78

Many players hit the pinnacle of their game here in the Baptism of Fire 78, and it is assumed that they will have a long and illustrious career across the multiverse. We're certain that they'll make just as much of a Boom! on the multiversal stage as we have.
Our chosen formation for the Boom!™ Best Eleven is a 3-4-3 formation, with the following glowing players:

Shane Rodriguez, Forbidden Territories, Goalkeeper
Thanks in part to Rodriguez, Forbidden Territories finished the group stage of the Baptism of Fire with the fewest goals scored against them. It certainly didn't stop their opponents from trying, however.

Yekaterina Olayeva, Aleirave, Left Back
Olayeva's defending style surely stopped many opportunities for opponents of Aleirave - the victors of this tournament - to score much-needed goals.

Timen Finnsken, Trollih Islands, Centre Back
Surely a wall in their match against Hopal, and having endured a lot alongside their team in this tournament, Finnsken proved that a solid defence is just as important as the fundamentals of scoring.

Kim Samrodd, Delte, Right Back
I won't dwell overly long on the finer details of Samrodd's performance, but safe to say she was just as useful to Delte on the pitch as she was off the pitch - exceedingly.

Kamisato Ayaka (VIII), Kamisato Ayaka Nation, Left Midfield
In this team of (mostly) Kamisato Ayaka clones we literally couldn't decide between them. So we span a wheel. It landed on 8. We hope that all the members of the team manage to get the best meta build for their respective roles.

Myra Randal, Gortolekua, Centre Midfield
Randal's playmaking versatility allowed for Gortolekua to clinch third place, as her assisting capability shone through just as much as her scoring skill.

Fatih al-Helfi, Maphidon, Centre Midfield
Fatih was at one point in the tournament inspected for illegally wearing 'rocket boots'. The inspection came back negative, which attests to the power of his kicks.

Sig Halvorsan, Gardelrya, Right Midfield*
"Sweaty" Sig Halvorsan captained Gardelrya to victory multiple times in the group stage, proving ferocious on the attack.
Halvorsan is actually a winger, but we felt that he would do great on the right midfield, and deserved a place in the XI.

Lanel Kamosspeffe, Efnakia, Striker
Kamosspeffe is a natural leader, and that leadership and flair enabled him to score over six goals for 2nd placed side Efnakia.

Renaud Kool, Mon Sold, Striker
Gone but not forgotten, Kool showed us what he was made of in the face of a 'man-tiger-boar'. Turns out, it's just flesh and organs.

David Guy Allen, Fort McKinley, Striker
David Guy Allen proved to be a talisman for the Fort McKinley team, and helped them get a clean three wins in the group stage.

As a prize, each athlete was awarded a bunch of merchandise, as well as a medal made of various by-products from Boom!'s operations, such as lead, trace elements of nickel, mercury, gallium, gold!, useless Polonium, and absolutely no Electrum. It looks really shiny and glows in the dark!
A football match was also played between the Boom! Multiverse XI and the respective tournament hosts, before the start of the World Cup 91 qualifiers. Below are the results:

Mertagne 2–1 Boom!™ Best Eleven
at Cop Limy Stadium, Neorudo, Mertagne, kick off 16:00.
Weirdly, Renaud Kool didn't show up on account of him being dead. No side was allowed to use substitutions due to a weird clause in the Boom! contract, as they had sponsored the game.

Farfadillis 6-0 Boom!™ Best Eleven
at La Gran Avenida, Farolera, Farfadillis, kick off 15:00.
The referee here sported a lot of Boom! merchandise, and during the match, a hefty amount of feardallis fell out of his pocket after making a controversial decision.

Baptism of Fire 78

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