World Cup 90--RP Thread

[Sendhang]

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DAY 7 - MONTH 9 - YEAR 8

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3 things from the the trip to Southwest Eastnorth

1. SENDHANG FAILED TO CAPITALIZE ON THE OPPORTUNITY

Both teams played an open game leaving large space in the defense. Sendhang was more successful in creating chances in the first half. They put more men on the right flank and focused the attack from there. Right-back Teuku Hamzah, right-winger Ramon Kalbasi and the three central midfielders fill the spaces in the right to build the attack while Teuku Salahudin and Keylar Samoi wait on the other side of the pitch with ample space.

The strategy saw Sendhang produce 8 attempts on goal in the first half. But the domination in the first 45 minutes only resulted in a solitary goal by Keylar Samoi in the 19th minute. If Teuku Salahudin and Keylar Samoi were more clinical, Sendhang should have at least been up by 2-3 goals in the first half.

2. GOALKEEPER ERROR

Both teams have issues with goalkeepers. Sendhang veteran goalkeeper and captain, Albertus Wageo made uncharacteristic errors letting the home side equalize twice in the game, first in the 60th minute when he carelessly brought down Sean Bravaro inside the penalty box and again late in the game by allowing Jessica Roth to score an easy goal. Albertus obviously needs to fix this issue. Maybe something to do with his confidence? It's hard to believe that the ever-reliable Albertus committing mistake after mistake. The KS Larantuka goalkeeper has failed to keep a single clean sheet so far in the campaign.

However, Albertus is not alone. Southwest Eastnorth goalkeeper, Mick Bolen also raises a lot of questions especially on his positioning after he was beaten by Gusti Sing Nggawe in the near post. Bolen has conceded 14 goals after 5 matches. No wonder both sides are currently at the bottom of the group.

3. PRESSURE MOUNTING ON TEUKU SYARKAWI

Sendhang has failed to win a single game in the last 4 matches. This includes identical 1-0 defeat at the hands of The Republic of Western Sol and StrayaRoos. With the head coach contract running out in less than 3 months, Sendhang needs to improve drastically if they want to save Teuku Syarkawi's job. But with the group leader and favorite, Kandorith coming up next, it looks very unlikely Teuku Syarkawi can turn this around. I think Persatuan Sepakbola Seluruh Sendhang (PS3) can start looking at candidates.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Eraman - Give Us Your Virgins!

To all Eramanians!

The cultists of MUCK (Multiverse Union of Cultist Kindred) are soon coming to your nation to represent the Holy Empire in World Cup Qualifying. This is your chance to make a transformational change to the multiverse by helping us bring about the end times.

All we need is your virgins; well, not all of them. Eleven or so (one for each member of the starting line-up) should do nicely.

Here in MUCK, we've noticed that yours is an ethnically, culturally, and linguistically diverse nation. This is great. The more ethnically diverse you can make those virgins the better.

Now, we want to stress that we're not particularly picky here in MUCK. We don't care why the virgins are virgins. It's completely untrue that mad cultists seeking to bring about the end times despite the blind indifference of the gods they profess to worship are only looking for comely lasses of virtue true. We'll take any virgins. Male virgins, female virgins, intersex virgins, non-binary virgins, Malay virgins, Girian virgins, Mandaran virgins, Palmyran virgins, blonde virgins, brunette virgins, tall virgins, short virgins, young virgins; you name it, so long as they're untouched by the hand of lust, that's fine. Actually come to think of it, make that 'so long as they're untouched by the lustful hands of others'; I'm sure we needn't elaborate.

If you can provide us with those virgins about 5 minutes before kickoff, and allow us to build an altar to the Great Old Ones in the centre circle so as to engage in blood sacrifice of said virgins, that would be ace, thanks. Oh yes, and paint a pentagram within the centre circle. And then summon the Great Old Ones to wreak their blind and uncaring havoc on your lucky, lucky - if regrettably doomed - nation.

So yes, if you can help with all of the above, that would be great.

11 virgins, an altar to the Great Old Ones, a pentagram in the centre circle, a few blood sacrifices, and the total annihilation of Eraman... you know it makes sense.

Yours,

Shadow Whitmore
President, MUCK
Captain, Holy Empire

Note:

The above appeal fell on death ears. Eraman provided no virgins, no altar, no pentagram, and not even an obsidian blade. Strangely, informal conversations with the home team suggested that they also didn't particularly want to see the total annihilation of their nation in service of the Great Old Ones. In fact, even though this wasn't reported in the Eraman Journal, some say that anger over the virgin request inspired their surprise come from behind 2-2 draw.

Question for next meeting:

Are we pushing the virgin angle a bit too hard? Consider reverse psychology in the next match

Mytanija - Don't Bring Your Virgins!

To all Mytanars visiting the Holy Empire!

Please do not bring any virgins with you to the Dreamed Realm for the next matchday. We have absolutely no interest in your virgins. Those virgins that we don't want you to bring would play no role in our arcane hideous rituals, and certainly would not be sacrificed to the Great Old Ones even if they did.

Rest assured that even if they were to play a role in our rituals (which they wouldn't), and even if they were to be sacrificed to the Great Old Ones (which they wouldn't), this would in no way, shape, or form, lead to the apocalypse.

Actually, that last bit is completely true; the Holy Empire would never allow it. Not in the Dreamed Realm. So all that would really happen would be a hideous ritual and blood sacrifice. Which absolutely isn't going to happen because we have no interest in your virgins anyway.

So remember, DO NOT BRING ANY VIRGINS TO THE HOLY EMPIRE. And if you must bring them, despite us insisting very firmly that you shouldn't, do not clothe them in white cloth, or place a crown of gold laurels on their heads, or smear chicken blood on their face under the light of a gibbous moon. We don't want you to do any of these things.

Honest.

Yours,

Shadow Whitmore
President, MUCK
Captain, Holy Empire

Note:

This didn't work either. Though I have it on good authority that there was a smattering of virgins accompanying the visitors, none of them were clothed them in white cloth, wore a crown of gold laurels on their heads, or had chicken blood smeared on their face under the light of a gibbous moon. Furthermore, we were unable to contact them directly so as to assess their willingness to be sacrificed. On top of that, this is the second match in a row where we've lost a two-goal lead with only 20 minutes to play, this time after leading 3-1 until the 75th minute.


Question for next meeting:

Are we a little too obsessed with virgins? Shall we perhaps try the adorable puppy and kitten angle in the next match?

[Sarzonia]

MUCK - Hands Off Our Virgins

To all MUCK members,

It's recently come to our attention that you and your organisation have requested virgins from the nation of Eraman to aid in "helping [you] bring about the end times."

Even though we note that you've requested 11 virgins, one for each member of the starting lineup, we cannot help but be appalled at your request.

The "arcane, hideous rituals" you reference and your stated goal of bringing about the end times are anathema to Sarzonia and to everything this nation was founded upon. We note that our country professes to love religious freedom; we also note that our courts have consistently interpreted religious freedom to include freedom from religion. When religion does not harm those with whom it does not directly associate, we have no objections.

However, when religion sticks its big fat nose in another person's business, in particular, when discussion involves bringing about the end times, that's when we have a big problem. We ask; nay, we demand you keep your big, creepy paws off our virgins. Any attempts to bring about the end times will most likely be met with hostility by our government. If our late founding President were alive today, I have no doubt he would ask Parliament for a declaration of war.

I say again, as always. Keep your grubby paws off our virgins. In fact, don't even shake hands with us. You probably have religious cooties that could make us all want to wretch.

Sincerely,

Hannibal Ochre
President
Federated Undermining Cucks Kondemning Religion

[OOC: Intending this as a tongue-in-cheek "rejoinder" against THE and their MUCKing about.]

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL MAGAZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
ENHANCED DRONE SCOUTING SINCE 136 F.E.

Maçon-Petrault on target as Kelssek keeps pace

Key goals from Loïc Maçon-Petrault saw Kelssek get through a crucial week in World Cup qualifying having done just about enough to stay in the hunt for the top spot that ensures qualification. Surprise package Wreckeria leads by three points and Kelssek sits third on goal difference. Suspensions for Phillip Lozic and Gabriel Lapierre ahead of this pair of fixtures could have put Kelssek's hopes in real jeopardy, but central midfield is one area Kelssek has a logjam of quality while at centre-back Jean-Phillippe Auiloquet impressed as a replacement and will give Andrea Crowe food for selection thought going forward.

At this point, Kelssek will rue letting a winning position slip away against Astograth which could have had them in a much better spot. Problems came together: Amber Docherty maybe should put have more mustard on that clearance, but veteran Rémy Dionne should also have beaten Artizar Bailot to the loose ball. Yokin Erdokiain was through the line like a flash and put a powerful shot past Cathal Gallagher.

It was however the play of Maçon-Petrault which gave Kelssek a lead to squander in the first place. With the situation becoming urgent after 50 minutes of being stymied in their efforts to come back from conceding in the first half, Maçon-Petrault’s link up play with first Issac Lafrenière and then Bryan Hartpoach created the space that set Danielle Maradrogba free in the box. The Coret Hawks striker still had a lot to do when Maçon-Petrault cut it back to her, and it was a very good shot that beat Rospide with the help of the upright.

Maçon-Petrault was on hand again to drag a lacklustre side to an important win over Omerica in Latrobe. The visitors started on the front foot and threatened to run away with it when Sean van de Laar knocked in Adélaïde Argyris’s exquisite ball across the goal area just four minutes in. The equalizer from Maçon-Petrault’s 25-yard volley came completely against the run of play, a spectacular goal which ignited the crowd and the players. Kelssek were unlucky not to go ahead when Bryan Hartpoach rattled the crossbar from point-blank range just before half time.

Joseline Fourtin made Omerica pay for giving her a free header off a fairly innocuous free-kick, and Maçon-Petrault unleashed a daisy cutter that was helped past the Omerica goalkeeper Annelise Betancourt by a kind deflection to give his team what proved to be a necessary cushion. Malcolm Beauchesne pulled one back for Omerica to set up a nervy end to the match, but Kelssek kept their composure and their shape to snuff out any resurgence.

Captain Colm Ó Tuathail thought the squad can take a lot from these two matches, and referenced his experience with Shamrock Cathair to underline the small margins things can swing on.

“Obviously we’d have liked to take all six points, but that’s how it goes sometimes. We have to focus on the positives and keep our confidence and focus at a high level. It’s a situation I’ve definitely experienced before, and it can come down to things like goal difference, so we have to make every play count.”

All good then, but there’s still ground to make up.

KELSSEK 3 – Maçon-Petrault (14’, 76’), Fourtin (52’)
Gallagher, Liadon, Fourtin, Auiloquet, Buené, Lafrenière, Dionne (dí Völará 68’), Ó Tuathail, Hartpoach, Maçon-Petrault (Ahmad 83’), Maradrogba.
OMERICA 2 – van de Laar (4’), Beauchesne (86’)
Macquarie Docklands, Latrobe (att. 51,546)

ASTOGRATH 2 Ishimoda (19’), Erdokiain (87’)
KELSSEK 2 – Maradrogba (72’), Maçon-Petrault (79’)
Gallagher, Liadon, Auiloquet, Docherty, Buené, Lafrenière, Ó Tuathail (Dionne 82’), Hartpoach, Maçon-Petrault, Taleb (Maradrogba 69’)
Grand Duke’s Stadium, Rumiatzi (attn. 88,490)

WRECKERIA 4 – Sheppard (29’, 79’), Marlin (56’, 61’),
KELSSEK 3 – Ó Tuathail (5’), Lapierre (16’, 68’)
Saint-Gerlais, Bowler, Vinter, Halliger, Lozic, Lafrenière (dí Völará 70’), Lapierre (Bogdanor 76’), Ó Tuathail, McDonald, Maçon-Petrault, Wylten (Taleb 76’)

[Flavovespia]

Greenlands Hotel, near Nantwich
8:30am

Scott Coleman sat in his hotel room, looking out of the window and out at the sunny sky and Tumbran landscape. It was the day of Flavovespia’s away match at Tumbra, one seen as potentially key in these qualifiers. For Scott Coleman, the expectations on him weighed even heavier. Not only was it a bit of a stuttering start to the qualifiers, albeit he scored a late equaliser last game, but he’d have the captain’s armband for this game.

Coleman had been in the game for a while now, but the sands of time were still a surprise to him. For so long he thought of himself as one of the young guns, and then a player in his prime. Now, he was the 3rd oldest left in the squad. And with Steven Hall recuperating in Flavovespia, and Tony Gardner still smarming over being dropped, Coleman was the one the squad were turning to as the leader. This day came more suddenly than he expected, but with Steven Hall’s injury, it wasn’t really the biggest surprise to most, that Scott Coleman would be next in line to assume the role as captain.

In a way as well, he felt almost as if the team were slight strangers to him. Playing in the Nepharan Zenith, and coming up to his 6th season in that world famous league, it felt like a long time since his days slogging it out at Stanmorn, lifting the Super League with them, and being the next big star in the nation. Now, he was playing abroad, whilst most of his Flavovespian teammates were duelling back in Flavovespia. Coleman was thankful in a way, with so many players at rivals Loxthorpe Rovers and Langmere Green Rovers, that there was no obvious disharmony on that front. Not that he could imagine Augusto Rinaldi allowing much of that.

The qualifying campaign hadn’t began quite as well as Flavovespia, nor for Scott Coleman himself. Admittedly the draw was a tough one, and had only gotten tougher with the quality displayed by all their opponents so far. It was feeling like almost anyone in the group could be going through or going out, even Starblaydia were struggling so far. Scott knew that, it was critical for the team to get something out of these games, to stand a chance of qualifying. But could they? Well the defence seemed to be working reasonably well now, and for all his flamboyancy and tendency to cause drama, Lucky Diamond was actually delivering this cycle quite well. The midfield, Robert Totten was in great form still, but Scott Coleman still himself thought a little more was needed. And what of his position, attack, Scott Coleman pondered? He knew himself he needed to take the chances a bit more, but at the same time there was a bit of scarcity on that front. Michael Cole this time seemed a bit nullified on the left wing. Then of course there was the absence of Steven Hall. Jonathan Bagshaw’s debut showed promising signs, but could he be the answer? Scott Coleman hoped so.

As he closed the door behind him, ready for the day ahead, Coleman was a little nervous, but also excited for the opportunity. If he was to stand in as captain, at least for a few games, he knew this was the chance to build on his legacy, and guide his team to the right path. He remembered a saying “where there is adversity there is opportunity”. Who had first said that to him, a manager, a teammate, even a teacher, he wasn’t sure, but it had stuck with him. And this was certainly an opportunity.



Hornet’s Nest
1:00pm

It was game day, Flavovespia vs Starblaydia, and following the defeat to Tumbra, Flavovespia knew another defeat would make qualification, even just 5 games in, seem like a mammoth task to achieve. An air of anticipation was growing in Waldster, as one of the biggest names in the Qualifiers was coming to town. These were the sorts of games that, no matter how the Flavovespian squad were doing, always excited the fans. The fact Flavovespia beat Starblaydia in CAFA2 helped as well, and the home fans sensed the chance of an upset.

One person who wouldn’t be on the pitch however, was Steven Hall. Still recovering from an ankle injury, he’d have to sit this game out, a key loss for the Hornets. Despite a 2-1 loss to Tumbra, Scott Coleman standing in as captain and Jonathan Bagshaw standing in as right winger had delivered a decent performance, but ultimately not enough to get points in Tumbra. Today, although he had travelled to the game with the squad, he’d not be leading them out onto the pitch. Instead, he’d be in the pre-game show on FTV, delivering a verdict as a pundit.

Before taking to the TV studio in the Hornet’s Nest and meeting the FTV side, Steven Hall met a familiar face in the green room. His old Flavovespian teammate, James King, was also invited on as a co-pundit for this game. The two met other with an enthusiastic shake of the hand, and a strong pat on the back. “Hi James, great to see you again!”
“You too Steven, a shame you couldn’t be out there today, but good to have you with us.”
“It’s a shame, but football is football. Congratulations on becoming Stanmorn manager by the way, I’m sure you’ll be successful. Well hopefully not against Loxthorpe Rovers, but everyone else of course!”
James King smiled at Steven Hall’s comment, “I hope too it goes well, I must admit they’ve thrown me in the deep end a bit, but I’m very thankful for the opportunity. Stanmorn meant a lot to me, and I want to give back to the side. Do you ever see yourself going to management?”
Steven Hall pondered briefly, “Never really thought of it deeply, you know what they say, we think we can play until we’re 40. But you know, I’ll see how things are going, I hate to admit it, but I’m not going to be playing for years on end now. And that’s not just because of this injury. But do I care at the moment, nah, I just wanna get out there and play until I can play no more.”

The two veterans of the game chatted for a while, as the minutes ticked on before the start of broadcast “Before we go on air, do you think we’ve got a chance today, after the opening 4 games?” James King enquired.
“It’s fine, just gotta let Totten score a hat-trick in 5 minutes again, simple! But you know, I know everyone says “oh we never win early on”, but Starblaydia have had their worst start since our great-great-great-grandfathers were alive or whenever it was. And as I’d say before the game to the lads, you can’t win if you don’t think we can win. But you’re a manager now James, what do you think?”
It was the turn of James King to think about his response. “Well I don’t think a win is out of the question, but it won’t be easy. They’ll be hard to beat in defence, and I do think teams are wiser to Rinaldi’s tactics though. But from what I can see, Starblaydia play in a similar 4-3-3 to Flavovespia. It’ll come down to concentration and focus, those split-second decisions could be the difference between a win or a loss”.

“FIVE MINUTES TO AIR” called out the intercom. Steven Hall and James King turned, ready to leave and take their seats in the studio. “Oh, and one last thing, the camera is always on. Even if it says it’s off, assume it’s on.” James King quickly said, as him and Steven Hall left the green room to take their seats in the studio.

[Valladares]

THE METROPOLIS HERALD
Metropolis, Friday, January 21^st, 2022

HOME | IN THE CAPITAL | DOMESTIC | RUSHMORE | INTERNATIONAL | ECONOMICS | WORLD CUP 90 | SPORT | TODAY'S LIFE

SPORT | Liga-M officially presented by the VFA, 12 teams expected to take part

CERRO, DISTRICT OF METROPOLIS (VAP) — The Valladar Football Association announced the creation of the first professional football league for female footballers, the Liga-M. The announcement, made today in a press conference held at its headquarters in the Metropolis suburb of Cerro is the result of long but constructive meetings between the Association, the Liga Federal de Valladares, the clubs, the Association of Valladar Football Players, and groups for gender equality, all of whom provided important feedback, advice, and ideas according to Mrs. Jessica Curran, Head of Women's Football Development of the VFA, who chaired the conference.

In the presentation of the competition, in which Curran was joined by Mrs. Delwyth Jonferth from Cosumar, who became famous by being the first female footballer to ever play in the Valladar league after her signing by Edmonton United 15 years ago, and who was for a long time one of the leading voices in the creation of a women's football league in Valladares, the Head of Women's Football Development stated that she "was pleased to have reached an agreement that will greatly increase opportunities to female footballers, as a crucial part of our project to make Valladar football more open and inclusive. I've been truly amazed at the receptivity and willingness to participate on the part of all the organizations we have contacted to build this project, we noted their concerns, ideas, and proposals for improvement and I think that those were valuable inputs to create something that I believe will be the springboard that will drive the growth of Valladar women's football at levels never seen before. I'm extremely excited and looking forward to see which kind of new values will we discover in this new endeavour."

The Liga-M, as indicated by Curran during her presentation, will be a league comprising 12 teams which will face each other twice in a double round-robin competition for a total of 22 matches, with the top team being crowned as champions. The trophy to be lifted by the champions, which is made of silver and resembles a blooming orchid, was officially named as the Delwyth Jonferth Cup in honor of Mrs. Jonferth. Although Mrs. Curran stated that this competition would not be an IFCF-qualifier one, she confirmed that the VFA was considering to approach the Vilitan Cove Invitational organizers to discuss the feasibility of an invitation to the Liga-M champions. Moreover, talks are still underway with the Liga Federal de Valladares to create the Copa Integración, which would offer the Liga-M champions the chance to play the Liga-1 champions in a one-off game akin to the Canalave Crown.

Regarding a question as to why the league will only have 12 teams, compared to the size of the Liga Federal de Valladares divisions (20 teams), Curran stated that the VFA "is aiming at having a strong and viable competition, and with clubs that are truly committed to what this fundamental step for women represents. During our meetings with the Liga Federal and its member clubs we had the chance to present them our project and invited them to send their expressions of interest in joining. The 12 clubs that we will have in competition are those that were interested in the project and committed to it from the beginning, although we leave the doors open so that in the future, hopefully soon, more will join us."

The 12 teams that confirmed their participation in the first edition of the competition will be: Metropolis Alligators, Fontvielle Impact, AS Bezieres, Marinos Metropolis, Tannenberg FC, Eterna Stars, Canalave Dragons, Pradera FC, Edmonton United, Ajax Carloburgo, Deportivo Junín, and Libertad. For this upcoming first season, and according to Mrs. Curran who will also serve as League Commissioner, "club squads will likely be entirely comprised by Valladar players due to the fact that the transfer window is already closed, but clubs will be definitely free to sign foreign players according to VFA regulations starting from the second season and onwards".

The announcement was also welcomed by gender equality organizations such as FemIgual, who praised "the efforts undertaken by Jessica Curran in her new role as Head of Development which have resulted into this golden chance for women to show that they deserve the same opportunities men already enjoy and can have the same skills as them. The creation of a women's football league in Valladares is a victory in our just crusade to turn Valladar society into one with greater equality and inclusion."

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Galliena 2-4 Valladares
(xxxx 55', xxxx 83'; Benítez 11', Barrichelli 43', Fortin 74', Ardouin 89')

Valladares: Araúz - Acosta, Barrichelli, Núñez - Pico, O'Brien - Abrigo, Benítez (Zamudio 77'), Durmisi (Pereira 77') - Fortin, Benezet (Ardouin 86')
Manager: Federico Rassmussen

Valladares 3-1 Atheara
(Benezet 34', 56', 90+3'; Tresselhouwe 72')

Valladares: Araúz - Acosta, Barrichelli, Núñez - Pico, O'Brien (Alonso 84') - Abrigo (Betancourt 72'), Benítez, Durmisi - Fortin (Foschini 79'), Benezet
Manager: Federico Rassmussen

Atheara: Krygorf - Winger, Van Lieser, Alexei, Kanton - Yesterov-Rukovic, Zimmerman (Tresselhouwe 65'), Hugens, Cantonian-Myords - Toriff, Frawning
Manager: Tobias Oslegard

Venue: Alain Tramontin Stadium, Eterna City
Attendance: 55,163

VALLADAR NATIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM SELECTION - MATCHDAY 6 & 7: GARIFUNYA (A) / SAVIGLIANE (H)

Goalkeepers: 1 - Lucien Chamoun (Crisisbless, NPH), 12 - Steven Piatti (Fontvielle Impact), 23 - Ariel Fraser (Metropolis Alligators)
Defenders: 2 - Alejandro Acosta (Edmonton United), 3 - Mauricio Arboleda (Falourr, EUR), 4 - Pablo Núñez (Marinos Metropolis), 13 - Gonzalo Peralta (Nacional), 14 - Danny Barrichelli (Canalave Dragons), 15 - Luan Barbosa (Real Campo Grande)
Midfielders: 5 - Darwin Pico (Mar Sara FC, VAL), 6 - Christian O'Brien (Tanrısal, PAS), 7 - Fabio Betancourt (Hondo FC, VAL), 8 - Alexis Durmisi (Urbizania Wanderers, ASG), 10 - Cristian Benítez (Cazadores Cathair, AUD), 16 - Paulo Ferraz (Real Campo Grande), 17 - Kevin Martins (Fontvielle Impact), 18 - Marcelo Escobar (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 19 - Nicholas Thaller (Eterna Stars), 21 - Adrien Trolli (Tanrısal, PAS)
Forwards: 9 - Gabriel Petrasso (Tanrısal, PAS), 11 - Thibault Benezet (Sabrefell Athletic, NPH), 20 - Gabriel Riveros (Ulsa, EUR), 22 - Caleb Bentley (Eterna Stars)

Starting Lineup: Chamoun - Acosta, Arboleda, Núñez - Pico, O'Brien (c) - Betancourt, Benítez, Durmisi - Petrasso, Benezet

[Huayramarca]

Hotel Jaka Quri, Metropolitan District - February 9^th of 1985, 20:00
First Presidential Debate

Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the First Presidential Debate for the upcoming April 2^nd General Elections of Huayramarca. My name is Vilma Corozo and I’ll be the moderator of this important act of freedom of speech, something that contributes to bolster our democracy and to form personal criteria through informing the voters with the stances of the candidates in different topics, so the choice for you can be done in a better way and according to your ideals for Huayramarca.

Let’s present our candidates, from the left to the right of this podium.

On the far left we have Cristina Perlaza, candidate for the Communist Party of Huayramarca.

Applauses can be listened among the public who visited the hotel, since the debate has open doors to anybody and opportunities given to anybody who wanted to ask some questions, which were reviewed first in order to avoid insults towards the candidates.

On centre-left we have Martha Mamani, candidate of the current ruling party, Ñucanchi Ñan.

An energic round of applauses were given, although those were drowned by jeers from the public.

Salma Machado is on the centre; she represents the Christian Values Alliance.

Few applauses were given from public, although, no jeers.

The Conservative Party candidate, Ricardo Flores, sits on the centre-right.

Applauses and booing were listened at the same time.

And last, but not least, the Popular Party representative, Armando Jamarara.

People booed harshly the candidate and also chanted “cagón” (wimpy), which is the literal translation of his surname from Aymara to Spanish. This reaction his heavily influenced by his controverted aggression towards a journalist by throwing an apple at her face.

I need you, present public, to remain quiet. This in order to allow a fluid debate, so the candidates will be able to explain their platforms and stances properly to everybody who is broadcasting this debate on National TV.

The rules of the debate are the following: 1 protected minute for answering the question from the public and 30 seconds for each candidate, in one opportunity, to rebut what any opponent has said. No interruptions will be allowed nor time extensions. We have three topics to talk about, being those: Economy and Employment, Anaian Integration and Technological Advancement. We will commence with Economy and Employment.

The candidates nodded as an acceptance sign. Graphics of economic indicators and Inti banknotes appeared on the podium gigantic screen behind the candidates, lights were pointing to certain member of the public in order to ask their question.

We have Brenda Ramírez with the first question of this debate. Brenda, it’s your turn!

Following the 1980 Revolution, Huayramarca's GDP hasn't been able to recover to pre-1980 levels after contracting by 9% in three years. Does your proposals have any consideration to provide dynamism and growth to this country?

Cristina Perlaza

The Platform of the Communist Party is clear in the recognisance of this headache to many Huayramarcan families. As I said, the Communist Party will focus in improving business by promoting continuous improvement tools provided by the National School of Industrial Engineers, we need them in order to provide assistance through their knowledge to MSMEs (micro-small-medium enterprises), which are the backbone of our economy. We will create the National Bureau for MSMEs Improvement in order to organise the proletariat in their quest for productivity and better services for the people. We will fund this initiative by allowing mining in certain zones (non-holy shrines) and taking the profits of the operations in order to siege a better future for our MSMEs.

Martha Mamani

As Ñucanchi Ñan, we believe in sustainable growth without harming the Pachamama (Mother Earth) and the needs of our populace. Mining will be allowed only in certain places, without touching holy shrines from our different cultures, and will be required to present an Environment Impact Assessment in order to approve the project, since we want to keep our land as we received it, beautiful and healthy. The promotion of tourism will be important for my government, as its impact for our economy can be significant and also harmonised with the environment in the shape of ecotourism, this will feature some initiatives that will be expressed in depth when we talk about Anaian Integration. With those initiatives we are sure that Huayramarcans will have development coming to them instead of pursuing it by migrating to neighbour nations such as the Royal Kingdom of Québec & Shingoryeo.

Salma Machado

God gave us a Holy Commandment, and that is about respecting the gift he provided us, our Earth. When I take the oath, my first action will be the immediate ban and expropriation on mining and the equipment used for said purpose; we will sell the machinery in order to create a fund for loans to people interested in creating a MSME in the areas of tourism, services and manufacturing. Those initiatives will require people to follow strict standards of organisation and environmental conscience in order to aspire for the loan, interes rates will be generous as we seek to put this as an accessible financial product for the people in order to achieve the betterment of financial conditions. Manufacturing will be important, as we need to create a balance between services and production, in order to avoid reliance in only a sector, something that can harm us in case of a financial crisis, prev...

Time is up. Ricardo Flores

Banning mining activities is one of the weirdest proposals I've ever listened. See, we have valuable minerals such as lithium, which can be used to produce batteries and capacitors for different electronic components which are aimed for the future. If we exploit the vast reserves of lithium, we can assure ourselves a bright future for Huayramarca, since we can tenfold our budget in a matter of five years. When that's achieved, a pension fund will be created, investment will be done on enterprises across the multiverse that show signs of strong profitability and security for this strategic assets, this will allow everybody have a retirement with the appropriated conditions for live with.

Armando Jamarara

Politicians through time has lost the confidence of people, nobody trust them as they aren't able to provide real solutions for the needs of the Huayramarcan People. In order to finish this vicious cycle of ineptitude, I'll not let the mining industry perform any activity across Huayramarca, since that's what people needs desperately in order to keep their rivers crystalline and free of mercury or lead. Those communities have been long forgotten, and we will provide also assistance with tourism from everywhere, not only our region, which I really appreciate, we will let everybody come here and invest in order to provide a source of income for everybody.

Rebuttal time. No specific sequence for this period.

Those who favour a ban on mining, are you on drugs or what? Ok, let’s keep our resources idle and wasted while people aren’t enjoying the retirement they deserve!

People laughed at the drugs mention, although, this didn’t settle nicely on the moderator.

Please, Mr. Flores, respect your opponents and moderate your language.

You’re the classy egocentric and unempathetic businessman who wants to take profit from everything, what’s next? Are you going to let the corporative mafia to ask us for payment by breathing? Respect the will of the people, they don’t want mining and enough initiatives have been presented to avoid falling on it!

People laughed and clapped at the answer of Jamarara.

What Flores has failed to say is about the requirements that the business shall meet in order to receive Huayramarcan investment. Aside, the lithium assumption is a fallacy as you’re assuming everybody will but it for the sake of being lithium, you need to make contracts and secure business. I guess you, capitalist, doesn’t understand how your beloved and inefficient system works, which is a shame.

Shame is what I would feel if I were a communist.

People booed Flores after his inability to respond the remarks of Perlaza, the moderator said.

I demand respect, Mr. Flores. Failure to do so will mean that you’ll be expelled from this debate.

Before implementing something, you need to know how the system works, something that clearly the Conservative and Communist counterpart doesn’t know, also the Popular counterpart that doesn’t knows the value of negotiating with the people. Including people into conversation and negotiating with them will guarantee that both parts will be given equal opportunity to win, something we believe in and we have done in this government.

People applauded, although some people shouted “liar” at the background.

Aside from Martha, pretty much the other candidates aren’t capable enough to stand a debate with proper rebuts since you’re not going straight to the point… All your proposals are an utopia, while mine actually assure people a way to get funding for even more projects coming from profits of mining, you don’t stand a chance with senseless rabid argumentation.

People laughed and applauded Machado for using the rabid word, since people posted memes after depicting rabid dogs with the faces of the candidates.

The debate dynamics changed during the economic part, people were considering that the format was restricting the exchange of words from the candidates, a key point to ponder whose stance could “fit better” into the puzzle called “solving the Huayramarcans’ needs”.

In order to give more fluidity to the debate, candidates will have a minute and a half of interventions that they can consume in the order they want, they can rebut while a candidate expresses his thoughts or key points of their platform

We are into the Anaian Integration section of the debate; we are under the new rules and we ask everybody here RESPECT and tolerance.

The first question is for Gerardo Arrizabalaga. Gerardo, your turn.

During the last months Foxchester has been preparing a resolution to create AORTA (Anaian Open Reciprocal Travel Area) in order to boost tourism and leisure traveling across Anaia. What’s your stance and proposals about it?

Cooperation with neighbours is a must for me, I’m open to the idea of having unrestricted access for tourism activities.

I’m not in favour of allowing a bunch of vagabonds to enter Huayramarca. What they will do that could benefit us? They will pollute the beaches, use resources that can be used for more beneficial activities such as mining. Everything coming from Foxchester is a waste of time, we must be self-sufficient.

Why it would be a waste of time? Why turning Foxchester into an evil?

Don’t bother asking somebody that clearly doesn’t knows how things works, as the best he knows how to do is enjoying the privilege of being the CEO of a company that your parents established.

People screamed loudly or laughed at the response from the Communist candidate.

First: Foxchester isn’t well organised to do something like this, the uncertainty and damages done to certain nations in Atlantian Oceania prove my point. Second: If my parents made me CEO is perhaps, they considered I was worthy and capable of being it, eh? Not like you, part of the lumpenproletariat.

Order! Mr. Flores, I won’t tolerate any kind of discriminatory expression towards people. Focus on rebutting, not on performing ad-hominem fallacies.

Tell that to the Commie.

No need, your lack of arguments is astonishing!

Oaghhe… It’s a shame that some people here haven’t learned enough about the Foxchester Agreement, Mr. Flores, SHAME ON YOU! SHAME!

The candidates were hitting the podium as a sign of approval of the words from Mamani.

The spirit of the Foxchester Agreement is to make our nations stronger, as we have historical bonds among us, only together we can excel! Part of my proposals is the creation of OAGHHE (Organisation of Anaian Groups of Hotels and Hostel Entities). This entity will allow the creation of memberships for select hotels, those involved can share themselves their services in exchange of common funds by the virtue of being members, they can also improve their lodging standards in order to attract more tourists to Huayramarca. This will increase and dynamize commerce for lots of business, including MSMEs.

You shall remember, Flores, that the Foxchester Agreement was part of a referendum in which my boss, the people, approved in an overwhelming fashion. 83% of the entire voting pool. Do you consider their wishes and aspirations to be a waste of time? Be frank and speak it now or remain shut down, you clown.

People laughed at Jamarara, but not applauded his words comparing to other interventions.

If you, please, manage to respect me, I’ll answer your question.

You don’t respect your fellow candidates, you can say whatever you want but you don’t resist a single word? You’re a pathetic individual.

Mr. Jamarara, please stop the personal attacking.

By implying that the Foxchester Agreements are a waste of time, you pretend to insult the intelligence of millions of persons who prefer to focalise development in their region, as Atlantian Oceania had forgotten us. Anaian cooperation is the best thing we can promote and AORTA is the spearhead of this, between ourselves we can improve!

Another question, this time from Saúl Rodríguez. Saul, up to yours.

Any other plan for Anaian Integration aside from the tourism field?

Aside from tourism, we can also promote more initiatives in the fields of mutual cooperation, development of standards across the nations in order to have a common frame of work to promote exports for our nation. If we bolster our manufacturing capacity, combined with our workforce, we can aspire to have competitive products (low prices and great quality) in order to promote an economic miracle.

Why thinking on Ania, or Anana… Ah, Anaia? We can do it by ourselves without asking support from other people, it’s a nonsense.

OAGHHE is an initiative that, despite being focused on tourism, has several ramifications that may fulfil the implicit demand in the question. If we consider our economy as a supply chain, tourism requires different sectors to come up with support for the industry such as: bed makers, plumbers, architects, construction crews, staff, etc. Those sectors also requires products and so on.

As some “unknown” person said, this “nonsense” is actually a great opportunity to make alliances with other Anaian nations in terms of education, infrastructure and economy. Creating FTA’s (Free Trade Agreements), Technical Cooperation Agreements and also creating a common framework for education in the whole of Anaia can be a booster for Huayramarca, as we can have better professionals, entrepreneurs and more opportunities for people to produce and export, we can make this in support of our Professional Collectives.

From my end, what I can say is that any kind of FTA will be subjected to referendum, this because we want to strictly comply with the wishes of our people. We are going to provide pure democracy to this people that desires to make their voices be heard.

Ricardo Flores, visibly annoyed, spoke as it was clear that the rest of the candidates had already decided, in an involuntary way, to isolate him from the debate.

Come on, how can you consider this redneck? Or should I say those rednecks? They aren’t capable enough to answer my questioning, they are cowards!

It’s because you behave like an animal instead of a person? I mean, you posted on Social Media that we need education, and that’s right, we need to educate you to behave!

People was applauding Jamarara in its interventions, but now it was even notorious the fact that the other fellow candidates also did as an effort to shame Flores.

Indeed, we need education for both. Don’t forget that you committed misogyny, Jamarara, you’re about to be into a trial.

Candidates, please, do not attack opponents by using slander, non justified thoughts or even personal attacks

---

The debate on Anaian issues extended for a significant time, where the candidates even talked of the fundamental issues of the Foxchester Accord (Agreement, as known in Huayramarca), to the point that the moderator had to finish that point. It was the importance of the Anaian Integration itself that led, in social media netizens, to call it as the “game changer” of Huayramarca’s 1985 elections.

Many netizens or people watching the debate were coinciding that Ricardo Flores was being the biggest loser of the night, since his lack of capability to provide answers was notorious, also his lack of respect towards his opponents practically put him in a very unpopular situation. Although, the Conservative Party propaganda continued bombing social media by proclaiming “Flores is strong enough that he defeats the arguments of the other candidates, as they weren’t unable to defeat him even on tandem.” Harm was done.

Prior to the technological advancement part of the debate, several people made opinion polls in order to measure preferences or thoughts about the big winner of the debate. Martha Mamani leading but not far away from Salma Machado, the Christian Values candidate that placed second after performing a strong debate.

We are almost about to finish the debate. The Anaian Issues topic consumed a lot of time, so we will attend only one question from a random spectator in this moment about technological development in Huayramarca.

No one seemed to be interested or able to take the “risk” of closing the debate with a question until an engineering student considered that he could be that person.

What’s your name

My name is Orlando Berrío.

Orlando, your turn to ask and close the debate

Dear candidates. I’m interested to know about your plans to support high-tech initiatives in Huayramarca? How you’ll create a good enough framework to make it happen?

As a representative of the people, Orlando, I consider that we need to take advantage of the opportunities we have in Anaia to grow in terms of technologies. Allying up with Mertagne in order to have technological exchange and cooperation will be important. We can learn about their technology legal framework and try to implement said structure, then adapt it to the Huayramarcan context.

You are so creative that you need to carbon-copy laws from neighbouring countries, how clever! See, young man, don’t let this populist bigot lie to y…

Orlando, suddenly, taking advantage that he had the microphone still with him, asked Flores.

What’s your proposal? We aren’t interested about personal attacks, we want YOUR proposal

Orlando, you had a chance to ask and that’s enough. Mr. Flores, answer the question please.


In a risk of let his image plummet even more than it has already did during the debate, Flores decided to answer carefully to Orlando and avoid falling in annoyance while doing it, despite Orlando interrupted him abruptly.

Ok. My plan is to attract the best companies in the multiverse, providing them with fiscal benefits and asking them for better payment for local people. With this we pretend to have the very best that the Multiverse has in terms of business and be the key part of their supply chain. I already have contacts with certain companies which I can’t disclose their names due to privacy policies.

Privacy policies? Well, hiding information sounds like corruption.

Watch it, you f.

People laughed at Flores as it was clear that he was about to say a foul word against Jamarara.

Learning from the best nations out there shouldn’t be a bad thing, to the contrary, we can learn from their experiences and adapt it to ours in order to improve. To answer the question made, the Communist Party will offer talent attraction plans for those Huayramarcans living abroad and able to put forward initiatives in the high-tech area of the economy. We will provide them stimuli in order to make the installment of them here, support from local Huayramarcan unemployed workforce in order to tackle that problem at the same time and also government funding. We will ask them for metrics and results, as we want productive ideas that help to innovate the nation.

I have to remind our Communist counterpart that we, as the government, have been implementing said plan for two years now, and extended to multiple areas of life such as: technology, sports, healthcare, etc. Results in the area of technology have led to the creation of several start-ups dedicated to provide food delivery, app building and consolidating Huayramarca as a hub for Data Sciences, since we have two of the strongest companies in that sector of the whole of Anaia such as DatAnalisis and Cognoscience.

Truth is that we, as the Christian Values Alliance, want to help to the innovation of Huayramarca, since His word says “Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect”. Amen to this is why we want to turn Huayramarca into a biomedical hub in Anaia, why? There’s not a lot of production of hospital components in the region due to lack of infrastructure, that’s why we aim to collaborate with people from war-torn countries in order to allocate them in Huayramarca and let them develop their trade here, in a safe and inclusive environment.

People was surprised by the fact of touching immigration in a subtle manner, despite that, Machado was applauded but there was time for a last intervention.

Don’t pretend to bring immigrants to Huayramarca, we don’t need them! Huayramarca for the Huayramarcans!

With this, we finish the debate. We hope this has been enough for you in order to ponder if the candidates might represent your interests and visions you have in order to improve Huayramarca in the upcoming future.

Before, we want to listen to some final words from the candidates

The Government has provided jobs and development. If you vote me, the social conquers will be kept and improved. Don’t let anybody destroy what we already did!

People applauded to the words, still, the boards saying “liar” were still being displayed by some people in the room.

The Christian Values Alliance is the best option for Huayramarca, we have an structured plan that envisions God’s will and your will for a better nation.

Conservative pride, Huayramarca wide! Don’t fall on the tomfoolery of this candidates, we are the only force that will provide job and wealth to Huayramarca.

Flores was harshly booed by the people in the room.

We, the proletariats, understand our needs better than anyone else in this class struggle. People born from rich families, power-thirsty individuals, those on power or oligarchic forces will never be able to understand our suffer, struggle and problems like we do. We are the best option as we know you the best, I’m one of yours.

People cheered the words of the Communist candidate, but were about to be surprised by the ending.

We, the people, are the ones who put and quit governors. This time it will be different, we will govern together in a national coalition in order to make our flag stand proudly in development. Greetings to everybody except that motherfucking conservative.

People laughed wildly and applauded Jamarara’s strong words and feelings towards Ricardo Flores, they have been conflictive throughout the entire debate and it was obvious that If they continued in said trend, they would self-destruct themselves.

The broadcast ended with something that, perhaps, will live in the Huayramarcan collective mind as one of the sincerest moments ever had in national television in the shape of that insult towards Ricardo Flores.

In terms of winners in the debate, the Communist strategy of avoiding the muddy part of the debate paid great dividends, since the popularity of Cristina Perlaza grew almost close to Salma Machado and Martha Mamani. The women trio was leading comfortably in preferences after the debate, this in part to the incredible loss of popularity of the Conservative Party due to the fiasco of Flores during the whole broadcast. Armando Jamarara’s popularity also grew, but it was distant compared to the women trio.

[Nyowani Kitara]

Johannes von Weber, back at the team hotel in Tikariot following Nyowani Kitara's Matchday 5 away victory against Geisenfried

Johannes von Weber was feeling a mix of emotions at the moment. Fear, of course, was one of them. The predominant one, maybe. Mistrust was another. Frustration? Another. Him and Westermark speaking up, publicly, against Nafuna Akongo and in favor of Max Ulf's potential northern republic, did what it was supposed to do- make the rounds publicly, within the country. Despite the Government's best efforts to suppress the remarks, the internet was a place where remarks like those survived forever. Ironically, the Government banning it was precisely what made everybody want to go see their statement. Despite being largely victorious in the civil war, Nafuna Akongo's hold on power was not as tight as she wanted it to be. Eura and Nephara saved her from near-certain destruction- and because of that, she was in near permanent debt to a foreign power.

In the team camp, things were not going so well for him either. KWFA officials, true to form to their vow to try and make things "uncomplicated" for the President's negotiations in Varakoula, were not saying anything publicly. But, they were trying to take a number of measures to erase von Weber and Westermark's comments. The nature of most Kitaran media sources being owned by the Government helped in this matter, of course. Johannes von Weber and Vilgot Westermark both saw their biography and picture taken off the team's website, without any explanation. Tweets on the team's official twii.tur account that mentioned either them were being quietly taken down. Suddenly, von Weber had even lost his vice captaincy, with Ramah Abong'o suddenly taking that role from him.

Inside the camp, too, things were not going so well for von Weber and Westermark. It was like there was some sort of a passive aggressive campaign to basically freeze him out of the national team. How does one do that? Well, suddenly, they were exiled from training. Nothing announced, nothing public, of course. But- they weren't allowed to train with the national team. Every single training session, there was another excuse why Westermark and von Weber would be forced to train by themselves, just the two of them. Overseen not by a coach, or even a trainer- just by a pair of security guards. It was pretty quick what the goal was from Liang Wei, even if he couldn't say it out loud. Shrink their profile until those remarks proved not to matter at all.

But von Weber and Westermark had a fear that worse could be on the way. In the days of Boaz Akongo, a lot worse could happen to somebody for speaking out publicly against the President than being forced to train by yourself. Fortunately for von Weber and Westermark, they were on foreign soil, even for home games. They haven't travelled to Nyowani Kitara since training camp. And fortunately for them, their families were with them as well. The fear of a reprisal attack against their families was slim, since they were all on foreign soil. These men weren't politicians, but they had reasonably assumed that the Government wouldn't try to arrest them and bring them back home for being dissidents in the midst of peace talks, and especially when they were in Tikariot.

But the fear for them- was turning quickly into paranoia. They met, on the late night arrival back from Geisenfried, in Tovaca.

"You know, I'm not sure if we should stay here." Vilgot Westermark was saying. Even he was growing more paranoid every day, although he was most certainly protected by the fact that arresting a dissident footballer could blow up peace talks for Nafuna Akongo, although he didn't know that.

"Look- I know we're basically riding the bench now." Johannes von Weber said. "But we'll get back on the pitch. Liang Wei is competitive as a mother fucker. He wants to win. He's not gonna-"

"Have they not treated you like they treated me?" Westermark interrupted him while saying this.

"What do you mean?" von Weber replied.

"They keep waking me up in the middle of the night- for no reason. I can't sleep. Every two hours- hard knocks on my door until I wake up, and then go to sleep." Johannes von Weber looked surprise. Maybe a divide and conquer tactic? Or maybe von Weber knew that in even this situation, he was getting the star treatment. "Even the shit that our own guards are saying. They're saying shit at my wife. At my two sons. My wife told me yesterday that we'd have 'no future' when we get back to NYK if I didn't take back my statement."

"Holy shit dude." Johannes von Weber was stunned. "Why didn't you tell me?!?!"

"When would have I??" Westermark said, while whispering. "We're being watched all the time. They're listening in. Our phones, also are 100% being bugged and watched- there's no way that they are not."

"I mean, I figured that much." Johannes von Weber said. "I know they haven't done that to me- but they are trying to divide and conquer, man. Turn us against each other."

"Dude." Westermark said. "This is gonna get dangerous. We're gonna have to go home eventually! They're talking about returning in-country for Matchday 8. What the heck happens-"

"Alright, man." von Weber said. "We're going to have to leave our phones here. Pack lightly, bring your family. I'll call some cabs- we can look like some of the other guests at the hotel. But if we can get a cab at like 2 or 3 AM to take us to the airport, get us out of KWFA way? We'll be in good shape." Johannes von Weber and Westermark had agreed, and a few hours later, they pulled their plan to perfection. Walked up to hotel front desk, ordering a cab that way. Three cabs- Westermark had a wife and 2 kids, while von Weber had a wife and 3 kids. Westermark was actually able to fake a Tikariot accent to near perfection- just in case the hotel staff would probably help those paying their biggest bill of the year. The cabs came, and then they both got into their cabs. They just asked to be taken to the nearest airport.

Everything was going swell for them when they went to the airport. All three cabs had gotten there on time, no trouble from anybody. The trouble, of course, was when they got to the airport. Buying immediate one-way tickets to Bastion, the Euran capitol. They'd be in a good spot there. That was where they had issued their statement, of course. They bought the tickets for the next direct flight to Bastion, which, fortunately, there was a quick turnaround for. But what happened next was stunning.

Westermark bought five tickets for his family, and von Weber had bought four for his. The women and children all got through security fairly quickly, and so did von Weber and Westermark. The children all showed their passport, and then the wives of the two athletes showed their passports. All those 7 people got through, with their boarding passes, just fine. But the TBSA(Tikariot Border Security Agency) guard stopped Johannes von Weber when he tried to show his passport.

"Sir." The TBSA agent stopped von Weber. "This system says your passport is cancelled."

"Cancelled??" Said von Weber in a panicked voice. "No- that's impossible. We literally were just here, at this very airport, like 6 or 7 hours ago! Flying in from Geisenfried, just played a World Cup Qualifier for Nyowani Kitara!"

The men were panicking. They probably could've claimed asylum right then and there at the airport, or find somewhere to do so- but that did not cross their minds. The first thought was, how in the world did the KWFA act so fast. "Mother fuck." Westermark said. Patricia, his wife, called out to him.

"Vilgot!" She said. She was trying to sound calm, cool, and collected for the sake of the kids- but she was clearly shaken by this as well, even though she was on the other side. "What do we do??"

"Get on the plane Patricia!" Vilgot yelled back. "Johannes and I will figure out what we need to do." Patricia tried to step back across to hug her husband, but the TBSA agent did not let her do so-protocol. They saw their wives and children board the plane from a distance, and then wondered what they were going to do with themselves. Nobody had phones on them- they were just going to have to watch the news to see if their wives and children landed.

"We can order a cab here without a phone. You got some cash?" von Weber said to Westermark. The winger nodded. "Ok, we're gonna order a cab. We're gonna pay in cash. And we're going to head towards the Tovaca Police Department, their headquarters. Claim asylum there." And they did exactly that. They hailed down a taxi, gave him 100 NSDs in cash, and they were driven to the police station. When they got to the police station, it was around 7 AM- the ordeal at the airport had been a few hours.

When they got there, they found, of all people- Arendt Sundin, one of Nyowani Kitara's starting central midfielders. He seemed to be looking in the distance, and tears were in his eyes.

"Ardent??" Johannes von Weber said. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Arendt wiped a tear away from his eyes. "You know- you guys are so brave. Speaking up like that. I can't believe I've been putting on these colors for so long. Saying nothing, just shutting up and playing ball, trying to make the World Cup. When you guys did that, and I saw the way they treated you after- I felt so guilty." von Weber simply stared- he had no idea Sundin had been a DFLK supporter as well. "But I thought, no way I can effect anything, right? But peace talks are ongoing right now. And still- I didn't have the balls. You know who did have the guts? My brother." von Weber continued to simply stare and listen, while stunned. He hadn't even realized Arendt Sundin had a brother.

"Yeah. My older brother. 35 years old. He volunteered on the front lines. He died in a firefight a year ago during the war with the Kitara Revolutionary Forces." Arendt Sundin stopped for a minute, and then continued. "But when you guys spoke, I thought- what am I doing? Desecrating his memory? I stand here, putting on the shirt of a country that killed my brother, that tortures for fun, that will launch this reign of terror the second Nephara and Eura brings their soldiers home. He's dead for his convictions- and I stand here, a survivor and a coward. This will not happen. Nope- no longer. I'm asking for asylum here. I will speak out."

"Well, shit." Westermark said, while embracing his (now former?) teammate. When the station opened to the public, all three walked inside and asked the police chief, who was stunned, for asylum from Nyowani Kitara within Tikariot. The local chief, clearly not used to dealing with asylum claims, started making the proper calls. The three players were safe.

---

@NYKWatch Unconfirmed rumors have it that three national team starters- Arendt Sundin, Johannes von Weber, and Vilgot Westermark, have all defected to Tikariot. The families of the latter two are confirmed to have flown out to Bastion and claim asylum there as well. #NYK

@DewayoPublicNews Those men and women who stay to put on the shirt, and play with pride for this country, deserve your support. Those who abandon us? Have tarnished their names forever. #BanvonWeber

DFLK Press Release regarding national team defections

"As rumor has it, three different national team players, alongside the families of two of them, have escaped the long reach of the Nafuna Akongo regime and have brought themselves to safety. The families of von Weber and Westermark are, indeed, safe in Bastion at this time. And all three players seem to be safe in Tovaca, in the custody of local police as they go through paperwork to attempt to claim asylum in Tikariot. This shows what we have known for a long time- even in the midst of peace talks, those who have opposed her have been bullied and chased off, and they felt it so dangerous that they must run. This is why the DFLK pushes for the rights of all people in the northern parts of Nyowani Kitara. Nafuna Akongo has won the civil war- but for her, the war will never end.

She will brutalize her opponents like her father. Under her future reign, Nyowani Kitara will be broken. This is why Max Ulf is in Varakoula, fighting for the right for a referendum for freedom for people in the North- to be free from Akongos, and allow us to build a true, democratic future. The international community is recognizing our right to be heard- we must not stop shouting for it, and when given, we must vote emphatically YES for independence."

[Trolleborg]

Greetings, compatriots!
It’s TTV. And due to the continued string of strange and weird results in the WCQ, today we will publish third installment of mini-series about strandge and weird results in the history of our beloved national football team.

It is not clear how to number the episodes of this part, since, in essence, they can be considered as one episode with several parts - because they all happened during several rounds of the same tournament, World Cup Qualifying’88. All that became the reason for the appearance of a special term “chromatikation” for this kind of oddity, as we prefer to name it rather equivocally. There were many oddities and scandals in that qualifying round, much more than usual, so our team was not the only one affected, but again, this does not make it easier for us, other people's suffering does not really compensate for our own troubles. Trolleborg started with an away win against Tequilo, then a team that seemed to be on its way to the world's bigwigs. The defeat from Sylestone in the second round, of course, caused considerable annoyance, but the points went to a strong and purposeful team that outplayed Morten Troghil's team in a fierce, but correct fight, and the defeat was partly compensated by success in the first match. However, further difficulties arise soon. In the third round, our players lost to the unknown and quickly disappeared from the football world team from Talkasa with a hockey score of 3-5. This game cost a career in the national team for goalkeeper Johan Lunde, because it was his debut game. On the eve of the game, the head coach himself gave – for the first time in all the years that he has been working with the national team – an interview for TTV. He was known as a man who have superstitions, and during the broadcast of the game, it was clear from his lips how much foul words he spend to condemn himself to break tradition with such consequences. The head coach gave Lunde a face-saving opportunity by letting him play his second and (last for the moment) cap against North Japan, and then quietly drop him out of the team, if not with his head held high, then at least not with a tarnished reputation.

But the troubles of the team were not limited to this strange defeat. This was followed by very strange defeats at home against Rangers and Sannyamathland, and away from Al Qurija – teams that did not claim anything in that tournament, and, it seems, are not very motivated at all, judging by the almost complete absence of coverage of football events in these countries at the time. In total, while being a second seed, our team eventually approached half the distance having 4 wins and 5 losses. But in the second round, where Cassadaigua was in charge, we are managed without defeats at all and almost managed to grab Tequilo, which eventually received a ticket to the World Championship as a group winner, by the tail. However, Tequilo earned its a place in the World Cup - unfortunately, this success became the swan song of this country, which no longer took part in world football battles. For our team, the tournament ended with a defeat in the playoffs, but although the chances of our team were estimated better before the start of the two-game duel, SRS made every effort to succeed, worked hard throughout the tournament and won on aggregate. The decisive game was in Trolleborg, which ended with an unexpected victory for the guests - while was being overseen by the same Chromatika. This, of course, caused what we can politely labelled disappointment (altought much more potent words is better suited to express emotions) among the fans, and the slogan "Chromatika-Trolleborg 2-0" was widely circulate around the minds of Trolleborg general public, implied that these were rather the hosts of the tournament provided the opponents of our team in the group stage and in the playoffs with advantages, and not the opponents themselves did their best on this topic. But at least the opponent at playoff could be characterized as fighting for the victory, and not just receiving a gift from the organizers, so maybe score was only 1-0.

Well, and (at this stage) the list is summed up by two insulting defeats in the last tournament, under circumstances that public opinion in our country en masse attributes to foul play. You yourself saw everything, dear viewers: the defeat by nonames Bahia Roja, thanks to the intrigues of the referee, which deprived our team of an automatic entry into the World Cup, and then a very strange game that allowed Polkopia, who did not stand out with anything special in this tournament, to go to the championship - and for some reason bragged, boasted and started celebrating success in advance.

We can also add to the list recent defeats in the Wonder Cup, but this tournament was so weird, that there was no consensus, are it worth to count him as a full-blood international tournament or better to discard at all.

We are conclude the enumeration of troubles and grievances up to this day, and we hope that in this tournament the limit on them has been exhausted. Good luck to our players, although thanks to a series of very strange results, most likely no luck will help at all

[Milchama]

OOC: BP and Vil - Everything in the email thread above Lamerein is new.

IC:
"Draw kings!"

"Draw kings"

"No wins through 5"

"That's pretty bad"

"Yeah but besides that awful Nephara game we've played well"

"I guess but we're in second to last place"

"Only because we're the draw kings"

"We're not trying to be Rejistania and tie every game 0-0, we're just getting unlucky and keep getting draws. Think about Pekoland for example, we blew a 3-1 lead"

"Ok but that draw against Quebec was credible"

"True, tieing the two seed 1-1 isn't bad"

"Still 2nd to last isn't great"

"Nah but we can turn some draws into wins very soon"

"How?"

"Through playing better or thinking about things besides emails"

"Emails?"

"Don't worry about it, it's another storyline"

"What?"

"It's cool, just don't worry about it"

"Ok but like I want to know"

"Nah the joke is old now"

"Alright then"

"But seriously no draw kings?"

"Why would be draw kings?"

"What do you mean? We have 4 draws that's probably the most in the World Cup"

"It is?"

"Do you think I'm going to do the research on that one. Shabbos is starting in like 20 minutes"

"Actually it's already started"

"Oh crap! Ooops!"

"Whelp better pray to Margaret"

"Yep definitely the right thing to do on Shabbat after breaking one rule is to go all out and commit adultery"

"Pretty much, what else is there to do?"

"Ok fair"

"I want to send an email"

"Ok send an email to Margaret"

"Done"

Reply All"Unknown Milchamian dialoguer"<howdidhegetanemailforthisRPstoryline@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Iuri Takala "<Iuri@Srealms@co.srs>
Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Darryl Lamarein"<coach@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

"Alright then say as I say and do as I do"

"''Ringa pakia!''
''Uma tiraha!''
''Turi whatia!''
''Hope whai ake!''
''Waewae takahia kia kino!''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Ka mate, ka mate''
''Ka ora, ka ora''
''Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru''
''Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā''
''Ā upane, ka upane''
''Whiti te rā, hī!''

"Now repeat after me!"

"Forini! Forini!"
"Finidi! Finidi!"
"George! George!"
"Oh Brother! Oh brother!"

*They strip and run around for 9 minutes*

"We pray the Margaret of SnubNose 38 and Random Number God that you may deliver us victory over Natanians and Nosts and any other infidels that we face in international play"

"Sacrifice the Rubber Chicken!"

*Swoosh of an axe and the chicken is dead*

"Margaret we pray that you take this sacrifice of a rubber chicken in good faith and that by your deliverance Milchama does well in all international competitions"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Let's Go Milchama!"

Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Iuri Takala "<Iuri@Srealms@co.srs>
Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Darryl Lamarein"<coach@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

THIS IS WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT!!!!!!!!! THAT EMAIL DOESNT NEED TO GO TO ANYBODY AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST EMAIL MARC, NO REASON FOR, ALL, OF, US, TO BE INVOLVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply All"Iuri Takala "<Iuri@Srealms@co.srs>
Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Darryl Lamarein"<coach@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

Hey Marc J.,

Where were you last season?! You said you would help us in the Megabrantid and yet you never came. What the hell?!

Best,
Iuri

Reply All"Nikolaz d'Aties"<DatiesN@oamfa.co.oam>
Reply All"Darryl Lamarein"<coach@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

STOP REPLYING ALL TO EVERYTHING COME ON! EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply All"Darryl Lamarein"<coach@mfa.co.ml>
Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

Goddamnit Marc! Watch out when you reply all! People don't need all those tactics!

Darryl

Reply All"Floren, Marc J."<alltimelegend@mfa.co.ml>
Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

Nathan,

I don't think those tactics are very smart. The 4-4-2 formation doesn't really make sense against Kimi-Suomi's 5-3-2. I think you won't have enough fire power. They have 5 defenders and only 2 strikers can't really break down a defense like that. The advantage in the midfield is negated because your wings can't even go one on one but end up one on two. The best option is to use a 4-3-3 formation against those tactics because then your strikers can really start moving against those defenders and the midfielders, when they win the ball, can bomb forward, actually creating an even numbers game which would make it a lot better for you to win. Also, watch out who you send the tactical book to. I know that I'm in the Dreamed Realm right now and have always assisted smaller nations like yours with tactics but usually people ask me first instead of it being out of the blue.

Best,
Marc

Reply-All"Cynthia Fairfax-Hazy"<cfairfax-hazey@zfa.co.zz>
Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

Hey Nathan,

I don't think you meant to send this out to everyone. Watch out when you do this in the future.

Cynthia


Reply-All"Dollard Foster"<dolfoster@mfa.co.ml>
From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

Please unsubscribe me from the email chain.

Best,
Dollard

From: “Ellis, Nathan” <n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp>
To: “All WC90 Players” <wc90players.list> "All WC90 Coaches" <wc90coaches.list>
CC: “Perkins, Thomas” <t.perkins@teamhap.co.hp>; “Probst, Dominic” <d.probst@teamhap.co.hp>; “Ernie Stevenson” <estevenson@mailnow.co.hp>
Subject: Tomorrow's practice

---

Alright folks, just as we did today I need you all to come in around 6:30 tomorrow for training. We've got a big game coming up against Kimi-Suomi and we need to be at our absolute best. Last thing we need is to embarrass ourselves when we're playing in front of our home fans. But there's a few things I need to point out:

-Enclosed is your tactical book for this week. Study it tonight and we'll go over everything when we go out to practice. If there are any questions about the right plays, feel free to give me a ring or text me and we'll go over it. I'll be at Center Street until 11:30 tonight and I'll be more than happy to talk to you about any plans you may have.

-To Kerry Spalding: I need you to take this assignment seriously. No more stripping naked in the middle of practice and loudly declaring "I AM NO LONGER AN ARTIST, I HAVE BECOME A WORK OF ART". That sort of behavior will get your ass red-carded, both literally and figuratively. Nobody wants to see that ever again. This isn't Jeruselem.

-To Jerold Dickman: When you get in tomorrow morning, or if you come by Center Street tonight, I need to talk to you about getting into what I call "good card trouble." There's a big difference between attempted mass murder and attempted manslaughter.

-Strikers: Be in contact with McNeil tonight, he's got something for you for the Kimi-Suomi match. He and I were reviewing videotape today and he thinks he found a disadvantage.

-All players: Be on the lookout for another email in an hour or so. There's something I want you all to look at in addition to the tactical book. I think y'all will like it.

Yours, Nate

---

1 Attachment: <HAP WC90 PLAYBOOK TOP SECRET DO NOT STEAL.prd>

---

NATHAN ELLIS
Defenseman/Assistant Coach, Team Hapilopper
Cell: (1245) 4022-5351-0805
Office: (1245) 4022-5226-4790
Email: n.ellis@teamhap.co.hp
Twii.Tur: @NateEllis

[Zwangzug]

To whom it may concern:

I am the heir to the lost throne of Maxtopia, although this title is contested by my younger cousin. I have recently discovered an inheritance of several kilograms of gold, unfortunately, the World Assembly peacekeeping forces occupying Maxtopia are preventing me from currently accessing it. I seek allies in (relatively) stable countries to help me solidify my claim and be recognized by the international community. In return, I would be honored to present you with a token of my ancestors' bounty upon my official coronation. Please send your name, bank account, and preferred footballing tactics to:

MajestyInExile@freemail.max

Thank you,
Sir Jezebel of House Wart

"This sounds fishy," said Cynthia, looking up from the newest e-mail that had been forwarded to the out-of-control Reply All chain. "I mean, Jezebel's a girl's name, isn't it?"

"You're one to talk," scoffed Jenna.

"That's kinda sexist," Kirsten offered. "Different countries have different traditions, maybe in Maxtopia it's a gender-neutral name. Or just associated with royalty."

"Why would she be asking for football tactics? That's not going to help you win any kilograms of gold."

"Technically," said Cixin, "I think it does in Aeropag."

"But even if it's real--"

"Cynthia!" Quincy snapped. "It's not real. Get a grip. The Maxtopian prince scam is the oldest con in the book."

"Now, that's hardly fair," said Jesse. "I mean, e-mail hasn't been around that long in the grand scheme of things. There are probably older tricks."

"So which footballer is stupid enough to forward such a scam to the rest of the World Cup?" Jenna asked.

"The 'to' address is just that Maxtopian one," said Kirsten.

Lissa rolled her eyes. "Guys, we've got a long trip to Gatchingerrak Union. Can you focus?"

"This is more fun," Nancy admitted.

"What about these so-called WA peacekeeping forces?" Nora said. "I mean, if this was real, you'd think he'd want military help to take back his homeland, wouldn't he?"

"No!" said Kausalya. "You saw how well that worked out in Nyowani Kitara, half of Rushmore went up in flames."

"They really didn't," Lissa felt compelled to point out, "I was in Tikariot, it was basically fine."

"Maxtopia is like Bigtopia," said Kirsten. "If they show up for the World Cup they're in pot eight or something. The politicians make a lot of fuss about it but they never really make the news."

"That's kinda rude," said Farrokh. "I mean, stuff like that is how we get Kerlagrad idiots interviewing Junia."

Junia giggled. "It was actually a Farf guy, I was right! Ígnîgo Xôjálá, he said his name was. I think. I'm not sure how to pronounce that. Anyway, yeah, he was just curious about Bigtopian culture but couldn't be bothered to figure out the difference between Arlington and Guariday. So then he figured he had nothing to lose and wound up selling the interview to the Courier."

"That's kinda..." Cixin began.

"Sexist?" Junia offered.

"Bad. To assume all the 'topians are basically the same."

"You just say that because you're worried about everyone mixing you up with Archer Nguyen in South Newlandia," Jesse said.

"You're not offended?" Cixin asked. "I mean, you're Bigtopian, aren't you?"

"I'm Zwangzugian," said Jesse, "just like the rest of you, and that only matters for call-up purposes. Why would I be offended?"

At that point, Lukas couldn't help but laugh. "How slow are you guys?"

"I dunno," said Lissa, "how slow are we? Let's run some cone drills and figure it out."

"Jezebel of House Wart? Jesse McWhorter? This is exactly the kind of stunt he would pull if he had access to everyone's e-mail addresses."

"He would not," said Quincy, "he'd be more creative."

Jesse blushed. "I'm flattered, dude, but sometimes the old cons are the best cons."

Junia laughed. Cynthia rolled her eyes. Lissa sighed. Ketevan put her earphones in and started looking at the crossword. It was going to be a long, long trip to the Gatchingerrak Union.

(Ginoud-Sachs 4, Puyo-Sachar 21)
(Waugh 18 and 70, Haugen 42, Kent-Maner 55)

[Eraman]

The myth of virgin sacrifice is very close to the Eramanians especially for the people living in Mitra and the Mitranese Malay community. They will hold a beauty pageant on the fifth month of every year in conjunction with the Harvest Festival to commemorate the legendary story of Putri Seri.

The myth of Putri Seri revolves around the god of the Mitranese Malay community, Dewa, and his wife, Dewi, who had to sacrifice their daughter, Putri Seri. They had to do so because they believed the problem of drought and natural disaster that hit the island of Mitra would end after the sacrifice ceremony of their young beautiful virgin daughter.

According to legend, all the food that existed at that time came from Putri Seri's body. The rice at that time came from her flesh, her blood turned into chili, her head turned into coconut and her fingers turned into ginger.

The legendary story continues to be preserved to commemorate the history of Putri Seri's sacrifice through the beauty pageants contest held throughout Mitra with the competition finally held in a glorious manner at every Harvest Festival.

To make it a story, the winner of one of the beauty pageants was Ratna Kartika, who was summoned to meet the prime minister of Eraman, Tun Rendra Usin before the 90th World Cup qualifier match between Eraman and The Holy Empire, 3 months after she was crowned as Putri Seri. She was the first Putri Seri to be summoned to meet the prime minister. After all, no prime minister ever had any interest in the regional beauty pageant contest.

"Are you still a virgin?" was the only question asked by the prime minister during the brief meeting.

Ratna Kartika was taken aback by the question before she answered no. That was it. She was dismissed from the meeting after only saying a word to the prime minister. She was confused. She was excited to talk to the prime minister but when the prime minister tells you to get out, you get out. She doesn't know what to think of the prime minister after the meeting. Little did she know her answer might have saved her life.

"So what do we do now, Tun? What do we tell them?" asked the State Chief Secretary as soon as the door closes after Kartika left the room. The State Chief of Secretary was of course referring to the Multiverse Union of Cultist Kindred who had sent a letter to the Eramanians asking for virgin sacrifice.

"Tell them we are sorry that our sacrifice this year is not a virgin and promise to them that we will encourage chastity among the sacrifice in the future," the prime minister instructed.

"Alright, Tun. That's all?"

"One more thing, make sure every contestant of Putri Seri from now on are virgins. That's all. Everyone dismissed," the prime minister had his last word of the meeting.

That is why a rigorous background check was conducted on every contestant of Putri Seri now. To this day, the legendary story of Putri Seri continues to linger in the soul of the Mitranese Malay community.

[Banija]

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition
SUB(Shirika la Ujasusi Banija)- Intelligence Agency of Banija

The Kabaka, Mwanga, with his son on the morning of Day 3 of the Nyowani Kitara peace talks in Varakoula

Carl Rutherford's speech, the previous morning, had of course changed the dynamic of these talks in a way that the Kabaka was very surprised about. Nobody had told him that the Euran Foreign Minister was supposed to be so emphatic- and yet, there he was, thundering his way to his point and Eura's demands. He had made a number of statements that the Kabaka had disagreed with, but the overall point of what he was saying was clear- Eura and Nephara were the victors, they were going to get what they wanted, and frankly, they did not give a damn what anybody else thought. The Banijans, although continously bewildered at the strong Rushmori support for the incumbent Government, were the victors, righteous or not.

Malik Akongo, of course, was not what Banija would have built if there were a "Build-A-Rebel: Pavola Edition" store. But he was the rebel they had. And Banija did not want to be seen as the nation that, essentially, abandoned its allies to their fates- nor did it want a radically anti-Banijan Government to stand. But they were well aware of the realities. There were no more chess moves on the board to ensure the removal of the KPWC and Nafuna Akongo. She, and her cronies, were going to be in charge for a long time. What mattered, at this point, was what they could do to ensure some sort of human rights positives out of this.

Senior members of the Banijan Delegation

His Majesty the Kabaka- Mwanga
His Royal Highness the Isebantu- Mutungi
Director of SUB- Lt. Gen. Issa Shawel
Banijan Ambassador to Tikariot- Rashida Belaye

The night before, had been an eventful one. First- the arrival of the Chromatik Ambassador, Saralee Ambroise. It wouldn't make a huge difference in the talks- but she was representative of Chromatika's strong support for Banija in this troubled hour in north Rushmore. Showing the enduring strength of an alliance that, while young, has already withstood the test of outside forces- particularly, the Anaia-AO split. The Kabaka had told her as such, that he was deeply appreciative of her support, and her willingness to fly in-person to this compound. It annoyed the Nepharans and the Eurans, of course, that yet another nation that they thought shouldn't be here was showing up at all.

The second, and more important event, had been his agreement with Yuezhou for Malik Akongo to move there, and essentially, accept his exile from Nyowani Kitara. This whole conference was, in some form, surrender negotiations for the KFF, and particularly, for the head of that beast- Malik Akongo. There was no way around it- Malik Akongo would never return to Inhalo, and it would be up to his Deputies to oversee the De-Commissioning process of the Kitara Freedom Front. Nephara and Eura would not allow it. And even if he did- Nafuna Akongo would probably have his head. The Foreign Minister for the United Republics put it ever so bluntly, to sober up Malik Akongo to the realities of his situation.

And now, the morning of Day 3 of the conference, it would be the Kabaka who would rise and speak first on the first major concession of the conference. "Thank you, Anson, for opening up the third day of this conference." The Kabaka nodded to the Tikariot Diplomat. There weren't any smiles around the room- the longer conferences like these went on, the less jovial they tended to be. There was already frustration settling in on some of the aides faces around the table, although it was hard to read the faces of many of the principals. "I want to start off today's session on a strong note. There is a lot to be discussed, frankly, regarding the future of Nyowani Kitara. There are many elements of it that we have to go through. But, on this side, we will make an offer that can start as the first step to reach the building blocks of an agreement here."

"After discussions with my colleague, Zhen Qiang of Yuezhou, and Malik Akongo, we have determined a path forward for the... President's older brother, that we believe will satisfy all parties." The Kabaka paused, and then continued. "We understand the military realities of the situation- frankly put, Malik Akongo understands that there is no path to victory for him. However, the other reality of the situation, is that there is no path to complete domination of the KFF by the KRF and allied forces, without severe numbers of casualties. The President is here for peace, but Malik Akongo also stands ready, prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to allow Nyowani Kitara to move past this Civil War, and actually move forward, in a country with some modium of stability."

Then, he sat down, and Malik Akongo stood up. He had, essentially, been cornered into this by Zhen Qiang and the Kabaka. He did not want to. But, of course, he was smart enough to see the reality of the situation. "I am, per agreement, making a pledge to not return to Inhalo." Everybody's attention was on him now. "I will urgently communicate with my generals and the KFF, but I understand that there is no place for me in my sister's Nyowani Kitara." Malik Akongo looked like he'd rather jump out of the resort's 5th story window than say the words he was right now. However, the time he had worked so hard to avoid had finally come at last- he was verbally admitting that the country would belong to his sister, and that his political career was, in effect, over. "Per the agreement of Zhen Qiang and his Government, I will live out my days in Yuezhou, as a civilian. I will work with the KFF, from abroad, to support the eventual de-commissioning process. Afterwards, I will resign my positions within the KFF."

Malik Akongo sat down, and Isebantu Mutungi, instead of his father, stood up. "Now, for technical details, he will be the ward of the Yuezhou government. Minister Zhen Qiang, on behalf of his own President, has volunteered Yuezhou as part of the solution to this Nyowani Kitara problem, and for that, we thank him. To confirm publicly- the Banijan and Yue governments will both be paying Malik's salary, and covering his expenses for as long as he lives in Yuezhou." The Isebantu looked around the room. Klose seemed stone faced, while Carl Rutherford nodded. That was when Mutungi stood down, and Malik Akongo stood up again.

"Like I said- I will oversee the de-commissioning process from abroad." Malik Akongo said, while gritting his teeth. "The Kitara Freedom Front will peacefully handover the regions we control in southern Nyowani Kitara, and turn over our weapons, pursuant to a promise on paper, at a treaty here, that Nyowani Kitara will hold free and fair Parliamentary elections. Which, of course, in some form, seems nearly certain that it will be agreed to at these talks." After he said that, he waited for the sole part of his statement that didn't depress him. "Of course, many men and women fought for a free Nyowani Kitara, and died. We are not going to relitigate that right now- let bygones be bygones. Free and fair Parliamentary elections, overseen by the international community, will bring legitimate government to this country for the first time in nearly a century. I would like for a pledged commitment, on paper, from the President that she will not launch reprisals against those who fought for the KFF. Not throw these people in jail, not block them from economic advancement, or anything. If the country is to move on as one, and with me, as the leader, out of the picture- I expect my men and women will be treated with the dignity deserved for a Kitaran and a patriot."

The Kabaka looked at Malik Akongo as the rebel leader sat down. The Kabaka knew, in his heart of hearts, that de-commissioning would likely have to happen on whatever terms the Rushmori powers wanted it to happen- but Malik was trying to save his own guys. It would be a move that helped the peaceful transfer of power as well- guaranteed immunity from prosecution for fighting for 'the wrong side' in the conflict would ensure that the chain of command during de-commissioning could be effectively followed. It would be Nafuna Akongo rising, who looked up, and surprised probably everybody with her next words. "I have said, throughout these talks, that I would be a boon to peace in my country. The war that people like my brother have brought upon this nation have been devastating. But, I am looking to rebuild." If it wasn't for Monica Lindbeck having been in her ear for weeks on end regarding this, there was almost no chance that the next words would've popped out of Nafuna Akongo's mouth.

"With my brother permanently banned from the country, if the Yue government can pledge to never give him a passport- so he never again travels to Nyowani Kitara- then I will pledge to spare the troops of the Kitara Freedom Front. We will look forward- not back." Almost everybody, on both sides of the room, was shocked that Nafuna Akongo would possibly say that. Nafuna Akongo being- conciliatory? Seemingly, on her own? But, if the Eurans and Nepharans agreed to it alongside the President, that seemed likely to put one issue of these talks to bed- with the much more complicated issues of future elections in the country still on the table.

[Tikariot]

The early rounds of the peace talks had gone almost as expected with the different parties firing their opening volleys and statements, staking their claims. After breaking for lunch, the Tikariotian foreign minister, Daniel Longobardo, and his advisors retreated to one of the quiet siderooms of the Vaiomala Beach Resort to take the time for a quick deliberating session over a delicious serving of Cardannian pineapple chicken.

"So what do you make of everything so far?" Longobardo looked across the table at his most senior advisor, Yorick Marmenlind, who looked more like a figure out of an old fairy tale than the diplomatic corps with his long, flowing white hair and beard.

Marmenlind held his gaze with his steel-blue eyes for a few moments before responding. "The usual bluster by the winners, trying to appease the other parties that they are interested in hearing their sides for negotiations while behind the scenes they are already dividing up the spoils of war."

Longobardo could not help but smile upon the old-fashioned manner Marmenlind would speak, but he knew that there was no pretentiousness behind it, but decades of experience. He took another bite while pondering how old Marmenlind actually was, as he already had been considered, what was it that the opposition had called him, 'a derelict anachronism from times long gone' when he entered politics almost 20 years ago himself. "Yes, Nephara and Eura seem very sure of themselves that they are holding the reins tightly."

Marmenlind smiled. "Indeed they are. They put their money on Nafuna and Nafuna came across the line first. Did she win?" He made a wavy hand gesture. "It depends on what you consider winning. I don't see any real winner here, even though she, Nephara and Eura would like to see themselves as such."

Longobardo nodded at his advisor. "So what would you propose?"

"Surprise them."

The foreign minister furrowed his brow questioningly. "What do you mean 'surprise them'?"

Marmenlind pointed his fork at his boss. "By taking the wind out of their sails. It is clear that they are not doing all of this just out of kindness towards a poor and battered country that they have no direct stakes in. It is all about power. Nyowani Kitara has some resources, but nothing that nations such as Nephara or Eura really have any interest in, there is not enough that would make it worth it, no. Both of them are searching for power, be it to gain popularity within their own country or trying to establish and reiterate their position within Rushmore. The Eurans are worried about the Socials taking over at the next elections, they need a victory to show to their populace that they still have what it takes to rule Eura and have it keep international relevance and strength as a superpower. Nephara wants to underline their role as a dominating force in Rushmori politics and beyond that show that Rushmore as a whole is a multiversal superpower.

It is clear that neither of them are happy about Banija being here, even less so with the Kabaka being their representative here. They want to show strength and unity. They want to be the ones in control, but without making it openly so. Their magnanimous declaration that the CRC should be the ones overseeing the elections is nothing more than a sham, the wolf in sheep's clothing. They still want to be firmly in control, just under the guise of the CRC. And that is exactly where we come in, the unexpected villain."

---

As the delegations file back into the grand ballroom, the epicentre of the NYK peace talks, chief negotiator Anson Coltrane has a look around, alerted by Longobardo raising his hand, and quietly nods towards the Foreign Minister as he waits for everybody to settle in. Through the large windows dark clouds can be seen coming in from the Xandrian Sea as one of the tropical storms had been on the radar, forecast to miss the Archipelago, but one never knew how the winds might change their direction within the blink of an eye.

"Foreign Minister Longobardo, I believe you wish to speak?"

Longobardo nodded. "Yes, Sir, thank you. I know that Tikariot has remained quiet throughout the conflict, remaining decidedly outside of the spotlight and maintaining strict neutrality, despite being among the closest to the epicentre geographically, as well as at the talks here so far. It has been very enlightening to hear the opening statement of our esteemed guests here, who did bring some very interesting and important points to the table. Now while our standpoint on neutrality has not changed, I would like to step into the discussion explicitly a neutral side in the conflict and take the opportunity to express the Tikariotian standpoint on some of the points that have been addressed so far."

Some murmurs sprung up around the table, some expressing interest, some a more or less mild level of annoyance and some casting a weary look at the Foreign Minister as if expecting some sort of disturbance in the force just bubbling away under the surface, especially with Yorick Marmenlind by his side, seemingly lost in thought. But many of those who had been involved in international diplomacy in the past knew that behind this stoic facade hid a razor-sharp mind that was capable of reading the room like few others without betraying the slightest level of visible interest in any of the ongoings.

"I would like to put the focus on the proposed parliamentary elections for a start. I strongly agree that any elections--or referendums--should be held under the aegis of a neutral entity. I also do acknowledge the reluctance of some of the involved parties to lay the responsibility for this into the hands of a sole country, so as a nation we do agree that the Common Rushmori Community would be the likely best organization for this task as it would lessen, if not eliminate potentially perceived bias in the process."

Taking a brief look around the table and saw more heads nodding in agreement than before, especially from the Euran and Nepharan delegations. He saw almost imperceptible nod by Marmenlind from the corner of his eye, knowing that the moment was near where the balance was likely going to tip. "Therefore Tikariot proposes that the CRC be tasked with the organization and execution of free and unimpeded parliamentary elections with Tikariot taking up the role as chief conductor within the CRC in terms of security and primary execution."

The murmurs grew decidedly louder upon this statement, with decidedly less agreement from the two Rushmori sides. Longobardo could see a faint amused smile in Marmenlind's eyes, who seemed to thoroughly enjoy the situation. He took a brief moment to gather himself before pushing the point home that would very likely make his approval ratings in Eura and even more so Nephara take a distinct nosedive.

"We strongly feel that the international community will look upon the CRC for as much neutrality as can be afforded in a situation and process such as this and avoid any potential accusations of bias or hidden agendas to call the complete transparency of the process into question. We feel that as nation located in Pavola, as direct neighbour to Nyowani Kitara, Tikariot has a vested interest in the long-term stability within the nation of Nyowani Kitara in an attempt to bring and maintain long-term stability to the whole region. It is in all of our best interest not to offer any potential fingerholds to any parties that could be exploited as using the elections for leverage to exact indirect influence over the delicate balance we are trying to find. With the utmost respect to our friends and colleagues in Nephara and Eura, we feel that a leading involvement by nations that during the war have openly backed one of the warring factions could be seen as a source of bias and thus, and I would like to stress the word potentially create an impression of incomplete impartiality."

With this the murmurs turned into a cacophony of people all across the room beginning to talk over each other, resulting in a cacophony of agreement and disagreement rising to a level that forced Chief Negotiator Coltrane to call for a 15 minute recess for things to calm down. Marmenlind leaned in towards Longobardo and said, "Well done, Daniel, well done."

Longobardo looked out the window, the dark stormclouds decidedly closer than before, as if the weather was mirroring the atmosphere in the conference room. He had opened Pandora's Box.

[Electrum]

The Turnip: Ye Olden Timey Certitudes In Thou Nations (Parte One)
by Billiam Maskey, ye-olde-chief-editor-inneth-chief

While much hath been expounded on the current history of nations participating in World Coupe Ninety, we know not much of the legendary lore (fit for a tapestry) of said nations. Therefore we have decided to propound historical, merrymaking certitudes ('fun facts') in a manner that is indubitably true. We trust that you use these factoids to enrich your understanding of the barbarous New World nations in Esportiva and Anaia whilst appreciating the finer cultural points that make up the Old World. We shall be providing these articles in two, or maybe four parts so that we may provide the most accurate reportage on the aforesaid nations. We will, however, be translating the below text into Modern English so that our readers may understand what we are expounding.

St Trinians - This nation consists of a cottage and a three-square mile enclave contained wholly within a volcano
Kohnhead - Vincent Kohn III, one of the founding fathers of Kohnhead fathered sixty children. His head was used so much in the powers of seduction that the country became known as Kohnhead
Valentine Z - Named after St. Valentine, this nation worships the letter Z as a symbol of fertility because it is straight sometimes and also has some curves, like all good people
Osarius - Osarius was once invaded by a flock of migratory phoenixes. As no one believed this story, because of it rather inconsiderately did not cause any damage that would prove its existence, they turned the drawings of phoenixes into a flag. Still, no one still believes in this story.
Savojarna - Savojarnans love to consume soil-aged meat, which is when raw meat is rolled down a hill to be encrusted in soil, enriching and emphasizing the earthy flavour of meat
Squidroidia - Philosophers attribute the origins of the squid race to some ink being spilled in water by Prince Squiggleworth
Legalese - The newly enacted constitution of Legalese is seven hundred and thirty-two pages long, with seventy-five pages dedicated to founding mother Eleanor Abernathy's free verse diss of Starblaydia
The Finntopian Empire - Before the invention of books, this nation's favourite pastime was to create mud cakes from horse dung on many of the Empire's roads
Le Choix - This nation's name is derived from an extinct language
The Cordian Isles - The natives of these isles are noted for the invention of coconut water, coconut milk, coconut flesh, pina coladas and coconut bras
Pemecutan - The mythical founder of Pemecutan is said to have killed a battalion of rebelling soldiers with just a single pinky
Equestria - Until quite recently, the phrase "Horsing Around" was punished with an immediate death sentence
Nimishzz - Absolutely nothing is known about this nation, save for the very boring fact that they have entered the World Cup with a squad of faceless men and women
New Lusitania - Someone lost the 'Lusitania' seal (a stamp used for official documentation) behind the king's couch, so they had to name the new country 'New Lusitania' in official documents.
Siovanija and Teusland - The country is comprised of two tribes and two nations, linked together by nothing more than the fact they love the same kind of cigar
Muralos - The crystal-blue ocean used to be coloured purple before the nation's leaders invented a death ray to eradicate all the red in the surrounding waters. The death ray is now aimed at Le Choix.
The Karodin Tetrarchy - The Tetrarchy consists of the four main leaders of this country comprising of the Air Nomads, the Fire Nation, the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom
Britonisea - The famous Britannual Foodstores that is the dominant supermarket in the nation was originally founded as an astrology business
Drawkland - Drawkians keep to a fully rational calendar of 73 weeks of 5 days. As a result, there is no weekend and there is no entertainment to speak of.
Qasden - All ctizens must pay a tithe of two percent of their crop to feed the country's venerated stray cats, greatly increasing the rate of extinction of several annoying small mammals and birds which eat said crops
Turori - The national drink of Turori is a delicious coffee brewed from the dung of cocoa-bo birds who are fed coffee nuts
Winnebogan - The country's King and Queen are nominally the leaders of the Church of Winnebogan, who split from the church of Margaret due to doctrinal disagreements on the order of doing the Sign of the Cross
Saint Eleanor - Although the country is named Saint Eleanor, Eleanor is actually pronounced 'Leaner' due to the changes in the English language over the past twenty centuries
Geektopia - Before taking on today's meaning, "Geek" used to mean a monkey's screech, as the country has a rather large population of them.
Juvencus - The phrase "juvenile detention" is named after the country of Juvencus after King Harold, a three year old king, was put in detention for two days for farting and babbling during a royal speech
Montaña Verde - Renowned for having a valley which disobeys the newly discovered law of gravity -- a circular stone can roll between two peaks in this valley, but it remains to be seen if it can grow moss
Bollonich - Tennis is played with hands instead of racquets here
Delaclava - Mustard continues to be famous as a lip balm in Delaclava after the former Queen of the Delaclavs, Ilesa, accidentally had some on her mouth during a royal visit after eating hot dogs as victuals. She then claimed it was a lip balm.
Estorvipa and Estorpiva - Estorvipans and Estropivans were some of the last peoples to discover fire, doing so in the eighteen-hundreds, just a few decades before this very publication came into existence
Graintfjall - Graintfjall once declared victory in its war against penguins
Nagore - The country's national anthem is called "That's Nagore", and no one knows when it was first written
Trolleborg - Trollebogians used to be terrorised by trolls who used to demand payment or a solution of a riddle to cross all manner of bridges across the nation.
Melbergia - Melbergia holds the record for the longest running experiment, tracking back to medieval times, the country has been trying to evolve a duck from a cell.
Acastanha - An omlette made of fifty quail eggs is considered the national dish, and it must be exactly fifty.
Sannyamathland - The country's Big Bowl International Stadium was originally built three centuries ago to host gruesome gladiator fights between slaves and cars.
Huayramarca - The whole country is said to be cursed as it is built entirely on ancient burial grounds. Literally the entire country. All of it.
Valanora - The elven life cycle consists of being fully conscious and self-aware from conception, then being fully grown when born, then looking young and living for nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine years, looking old for one year, and dropping dead at exactly a millennium years old.
Vietnamerium - Vietnamerium used to be comprised of two countries: Greater Vietnamerium and Lesser Vietnamerium. Lesser Vietnamerium renamed itself to Best Vietnamerium in a bout of jealousy, before the two countries decided to merge so as to remove the qualifier in front of the nation's name.
Talamia - The country has no trees after an infestation of koalas razed all of the leaves of every single tree.
Krytenia - Lord Almighty Gregory, he of an infinity of years, was said to be born in a manger in Krytenia, just south-south-north-west of Emberton.

[Delaclava]

JUVENCUS 5 — 2 DELACLAVA
Campana 3' 31', Cantù 16', Martell 20', Silvestri 84' | Meyer 24' 57'

DELACLAVA 5 — 4 MONTAÑA VERDE
Soto 6', Meyer 23' 66', Lindblad 76', Martin 89' | Osito 27', Primitivo 40' 53', Valentinha 83'

Tim Landers stood in place, staring at the house as the words of the nosy neighbor echoed in his ear: "Johannes Detmer is dead." He first ached for Anniek, for the whole Detmer family, and the Catherina FC family who would learn of this shocking and untimely event.

His mind turned to bewilderment at the chain of events. He'd gotten out that call out of the blue from Detmer that he was looking to retire, but Detmer hadn't had any sense of urgency that would've let on an expectation that his time left was brief. And the day that they were beginning formal action to have Landers take over, and Detmer was gone? Strange coincidence, indeed...

He refocused his eyes and noticed that there was a tall man in a dark suit walking across the front lawn, walking unmistakably right at him. "Tim Landers, is it?"

"Uh, yes, sir," Landers replied.

"Detective Christian Donovan," the man introduced himself, offering his hand out for a shake, which Landers accepted. "We'd like to take you back to the station and talk to you."

"Excuse me?"

Donovan lowered his voice. "The cause of death is ambiguous and we're treating it as suspicious. You're not a suspect, but you are someone we'd like to talk to. Will you come with us?"

Landers nodded. Donovan pointed to an officer behind him. "Just head back with this deputy here, we're wrapping up and we'll be back to talk to you soon."

The officer motioned, and Landers followed him to a car parked slightly further down the street. Landers got in the front seat, and they started towards the station. Landers noticed news trucks racing the other direction and instinctively lowered his face. What was going on?

---

"So, let's just start with this. Again, we don't consider you a suspect, but this just helps us to eliminate. Can you tell us your whereabouts last night and today?"
"Uh, sure... last night I was back in Quinniville where I live. I had dinner with my wife, didn't leave the house after that. I woke up this morning, took the 8:30 bullet from Quinniville to Catherina, that got here around 11:30? I was supposed to meet at La Lezarde with Johannes and Emily Franklin at 2. Emily showed, Johannes didn't. I called him at 2:15 and got no reply, and that's when I decided to head over to his house... that's when I saw everything. I can't believe this, this is crazy..."
"Alright, if you can provide the travel receipts, that would help us. How about today between 11:30 and 2:00?"
"I... just wandered around, I guess?"
"Can anyone vouch for your whereabouts during that time."
"I guess not? Oh, I saw Martin Bartoš around Preston Square, but I guess that was right after I got off the train."
"Did you buy anything? Or just walk around?"
"I don't think - no, wait, I had an espresso at, what was the name of the place?" Landers dug around in his pocket for the receipt. "Paolo's?" He reached the receipt out to Donovan.
"Alright, that helps a lot, thank you," and Donovan took the receipt. "When was the last time you spoke to Detmer?"
"It was in the afternoon yesterday, actually. He called, he was on the ferry from Sindsyge to Mariana after their game."
"What about?"
"To set up the meeting. He'd meant to set it up sooner but had forgotten the team was coming back to Catherina."
"Had you been in regular correspondence the past few months?"
"Not at all...we hadn't really spoken in years, in fact. I was in Chromatika, I wasn't in the league anymore, and we just didn't have much of a reason to talk, I guess? The only other time I spoke with him was a few weeks ago and that was totally out of the blue."
"What was that about?"
"The same, really. It was before qualifying started. He told me I should take over the team, because he wanted to retire and he thought I'd be the best for the job."
"Out of the blue, that's what he called to say?"
"Look, I was surprised too," Landers paused a second, feeling slightly defensive. "Like I said, we weren't close at all. He's... not the sort of guy I would've thought any of the managers were close with. And look, I don't know if this matters, but Detmer told me the way he thought I was fired wasn't right. Now he wanted to retire, I was jobless. I was surprised he called me but I don't know who else he would've called."
Donovan thought a moment, then switched gears. "What can you tell us about Emily Franklin?"
"I don't know her that well, either. I was equally surprised the DFA wanted to discuss terms with me."
"I'm gonna be honest with you, Tim, that makes both of us. This all sounds pretty far out of left field."
"I really don't know what to tell you, Detective, but that's how it's happened. But Emily... what I've heard, she's ambitious, she's no-nonsense. I know she was lower down the ladder when I was managing the Phoenixes, she was shut out for a while, didn't really vibe with the top people at the time. Now that she's in charge, I'm sure she has big plans in mind."
"Was today the first time you met her?"
"Yes."
"Can you talk about the interaction?"
Tim thought for a second. "It was odd, really. Awkward. Not much for small talk, really. I'd told her the same thing, that I was surprised the DFA was meeting with me, she was critical of that decision and very critical of Ted McQueen. She complimented how I handled the situation. Quite forward, actually."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, when Detmer and I spoke, we didn't have a timeline for this. Like maybe this campaign, I'd be introduced and there would be a period of time we were working together? But in Emily's mind, if there was a transition plan, she was going to push it through. I think in a sense, she was going to get Detmer to retire even if he was fine to finish the campaign."
Donovan was taken aback by that. Suddenly, Emily Franklin got a lot more interesting... he continued: "How did the interaction end?"
"Well, it was 2:15, Johannes wasn't there of course, so I called. No answer, so I told Emily I was going to head to his house. She was nearly gone, really."
"What did she say?"
"It was, like..." Landers tried to think of the words. "It was... 'I've got all I needed. We'll be in touch.'"
Donovan thought for a second, pacing. Landers' phone rang. They both looked at the contact on the screen: Lukas Meyer. Landers answered. "Lukas?"
"Coach," Lukas nearly shouted. He was clearly upset, contrasting his usual quiet demeanor. "Tim, did you hear what happened."
"I did, Luke... are you all okay?"
"This can't be fucking real," Lukas moaned in angst. He cleared his throat. "But... they were telling us to expect you at practice, but we don't know what's going on."
"Luke," Landers stole a glance at Donovan before tentatively replying, "Just hang tight. I know you all are hurting, just try to relax and hang out. I'll get to the field as soon as I can."
"Alright. Please hurry." Lukas hung up. Tim looked at Donovan. "Well? How soon can I get there?"
Donovan paused. "Look, I'm going to be real honest with you. You're not a suspect, but you are still a person of interest. You and I can agree, this shit is weird. If you didn't do it, you're going to still be helpful, and either way, I'm not comfortable having you go off to another planet. We're not making you stay, but I would like to give you an OPS (Omniversal Positioning System) bracelet. It's optional but it would go a long way to establishing cooperation and making our investigation easier."
"What-" Landers wasn't really following the logic on that, but he didn't have the time to argue. The government was probably tracking their movements anyway. "Whatever, go for it. Let's wrap this up though. Apparently I do have a team to coach."

---

This team was hurting, indeed. Surely Juvencus was the superior side nevertheless, which is why you'd like to go into an away game against them at 100%, and well, that's not what happened. Gli attaccanti easily rolled past the Phoenixes 5-2. Julio Campana buried the first goal just three minutes into the game and it was all downhill from there. Lukas Meyer managed to score a brace, his fourth and fifth of the campaign, but it was for naught. The first goal, he pointed up to the sky wistfully as his teammates surrounded him and patted him on the back. His second score made it 4-2 in the 57th minute - plenty of time to mount a comeback - but Meyer seemed defeated anyway, kneeling behind the end line and burying his teary face in his hands.

Landers felt completely out of his depth here. He'd never coached any team facing this sort of hardship, let alone a team he'd been practically forced on. Sure, it had seemed that eventually he'd be taking over the squad, but the boys had been given no time to adjust. Amid the emotions pouring out of Meyer and many of the others - George Ross, Varlam Kovalev, Damian Soto, Carlos Berrera, all of those players who'd suited up for Catherina FC over the years - he also caught the nasty glances from those who Landers had unceremoniously tossed off the team in World Cup 85 - primarily, his old captain, Donato Girardi.

But Landers caught it the worst from Josh Torres. Landers had ended the national team career - and effectively, the competitive career - of the right back; Detmer had believed deeply in Torres, rehabilitated and matured him on Catherina FC, made him a league MVP and a defending league champion, and brought him back into the national team fold.

Yet whenever Torres looked at Landers, Landers could see the fury at the old manager who had banished him, but the profound pain of losing the one man who had his back when no one else did. He wished Torres would warm up to him again, but he could only give him the space to process...

They were coming back to Delaclava to face Montaña Verde. To Cleopatrana. You've got to be kidding, Landers thought as he realized the schedule. Cleopatrana, of course, was the city where Landers discovered the misconduct on his team, suspended half the team, reached out to a colleague in Dhiego Vera to fill out the roster. Where Vera betrayed him to Ted McQueen. Where Landers lost his job, forever altering the course of his career.

Proceedings at the Shipyard went better this time. Damian Soto made a nifty move around a Condors defender and got in alone to drive a low shot past Dolfo Mojica Parra. The Cleopatrana crowd welcomed back their hometown boy, with no bitterness that he'd left for Catherina. Meyer made it 2-0, and did his best to remain stoic (or numb?) in the celebrations.

The Condors came roaring back, first with Osito, then Primitivo with a brace. They made it 3-2 towards the beginning of the second half, and it was time for the Phoenixes to respond. It wasn't enough for them to wallow for their coach. They had to win one for him.

Meyer took it upon himself to make it happen, controlling the midfield in a manner the Condors weren't expecting from the forward, getting the ball through to Soto or to Kent Lindblad. But it was Meyer who would get the tying goal himself in the 66th minute with a long shot, just as Justin Pedroza was closing down on him. This time, Meyer let out a mighty roar, startling Pedroza, as his teammates surrounded him to celebrate briefly.

They traded goals once again - Lindblad about a decade later, followed by a sweet spin-o-rama from Valentinha. Oh well, it would be 4-4. A draw would be a fine way to honor their old coach...

...and yet there was Kazuo Martin, the unheralded star whom Detmer had given chance after chance, recognizing his under-appreciated defensive talents. He took a pass out of the back from Joord van der Beek, then slowly brought the defense up the field. He waited, and waited. Finally, Cristo Diaz stepped forward to challenge him. Martin shifted to the side and accelerated. There was open space in the middle of the field, Martin took it until he was about twenty-five yards out. At the last second, he teed off, and the ball bent and dipped down, between the post and a diving Dolfo...

The crowd erupted. Martin collapsed to his knees. His teammates, both on and off the field, flooded him to celebrate, as the referees clutched their pearls and tried frantically to keep the game moving. The next five minutes lasted an eternity for the players, for the fans, for Landers...

...at last, the referee blew the final whistles. The players all stormed the center of the field again, this time without the official admonishment. Landers put his hands on his head and disbelief, shook hands with his inherited assistant Jeff Brashear. Suddenly, Lukas Meyer was in front of him, giving him a big hug and shouting something Landers could barely decipher before pulling him towards the crowd of players to celebrate.

A moment of euphoria wouldn't make the tragedy go away, or cure the old wounds from World Cup 85, or solve the mystery of what had happened to Johannes Detmer. But it would do for now.

[South Newlandia]

How to best watch paint dry in South Newlandia

In the multiverse, there are nations where things are happening, sometimes even at a rapid rate that deserve international attention. South Newlandia is not one of these nations. In fact, so little happens in South Newlandia that it has become a niche joke among some; claiming that the most interesting thing to do in South Newlandia is to watch paint dry. Little do these people know, watching paint dry is incredibly interesting! Okay, that’s not true, but it is not as boring as you might think.

Of course, one of the most important parts of watching paint dry is the kind of paint that is drying. The most commonly used brands are TahmPainT*, a local South Newlandian brand manufactured in Elephant Town, located relatively close to the South Newlandian capital, Henza, a Chromatik paint part of the Henza Architecture brand, and Tropipaint, which is produced in Tropicorp.
Of course, these brands have specific advantages and disadvantages. TahmPainT is the most ecologically friendly paint you’ll find, and also has an edge in South Newlandia due to being a local brand. In contrast, it isn’t the most durable paint you’ll find, and it is also relatively expensive.
Henza, meanwhile, is extremely cheap, and also covers a large area with ease; however, the paint is not exactly what you would describe as good for nature, and it also is not very durable at all.
Tropipaint is the most expensive brand that is widely used. It’s extremely useful, requires no primer, is durable while also being easy to clean, and has been described as "The #1 Choice for Elephant Trunk Paintings" by expert magazines, only half of which were paid by Tropipaint. They even have a chromalusion variant that can change colour, however, if you want to buy that, you might have to cut back on your spending for rent and food for a while.

You may be able to identify what paint had been used merely by watching it dry! For example, the thing the paint is on might give you some clues. Things paid for by the government most commonly are painted with TahmPainT, due to the high environmental standards and protection of local brands. Meanwhile, highly expensive things usually can afford to use Tropipaint, while things that aren’t exactly made to last usually cheap out on Henza.

The way the paint dries can also give some clues. If the paint is not setting properly and flows too much toward the ground, you might be looking at Henza paint; however, this may also happen due to poor or inexperienced painters. If you’re looking at a very evenly-setting paint, that’s a clue that it may be Tropipaint, and if there’s red tape everywhere, it’s probably a government thing and thus likely TahmPainT. If the paint you’re watching dry has changed colour in the process, you either need to schedule an appointment with your ophthalmologist, or you’re looking at the highly expensive Tropipaint.

One of the most exciting parts about watching paint dry is of course below the paint. Some interesting construction that might soon reach the paint-drying phase are the massive expansions to the South Newlandian baseball stadiums in Elephant Valley and Rüsselsheim, or the new multi-purpose arena currently being built in Newport. Smaller scale projects, like the social housing initiative in Elephant Valley, or other minor construction, will also be using paint you can watch dry.
Of course, you can also make your own – simply buy some paint from a local store, and soon, you’ll be able to watch your own paint dry!

*TahmPainT is a small South Newlandian family brand originally from Chekar, owned by the Tahm family. It has been operating for almost as long as the country has existed, and has always been known for meeting all environmental standards imaginable.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Lost In The Wild

PART 2 - Budapest

Of course, that’s not how it exactly turned out, as we propels forward to the weekend when the very quintet of teenagers who reside in the house - footballers Zinaida Woodcarver, Jean-Christophe Babin, and Joelinton Dyxkeson, and volleyballer Natalie Wesoloski-Okafor and wrestler Matteo Hanson-Conavacio - are heading to the Roxburgh Music Festival (OOC: IC Glastonbury). Ready to enjoy the finest lineup the Roxburgh has produced in thirty years, the crew sets themself up right in the middle of ‘The Cocoon’, the 360-degree circular stage the festival is long famous for.

'Alright, so here we go again,' Zinaida Woodcarver said to Jean-Christophe Babin in a matter of reminding everybody else, as they exited the Ile-Grimaud station and started walking towards the Borowick Farm on the far edge of the town of Roxburgh. They always had trouble getting to places on time, and going to a three-day long festival was by all means a real commitment to the friends who have gone through plenty.

The lives of half-dozen friends who lived at the Maison Misiriyaa, Pierre McCarthy's residence for his youth clients in heart of the metropolis, involved having regular routines set for them every day, but also involved being away at various unexpected moments. Furthermore, with advents of international transfer markets in most of bigger sports these days, it was expected for friendships to be placed into challenges of own especially as they had . So in some ways, it was amazing that they were still able to put some semblance of regularity in synchronisation with each other's lives.

'Sure, but we never regret going out on Roxburgh every June, don't we?' Jean-Christophe answered back, as he touched his forehead twice, feeling the sunscreen starting to melt in the heat of a Montrealais summer. 'But maybe next time, we should leave home much earlier, like eight in the morning instead of eleven. Maybe then we'd have been able to travel with Joelinton, Nat and Mario.' Of course, attending any massive gathering with friends, let alone the biggest music festival in this part of Anaia, was a tricky one to do so without coordination in advance, and both Zinaida and Jean-Christophe knew they were going to have a wee long hour before finding their friends' tent in front of 'The Cocoon', the 360-degree circular stage the Roxburgh Festival's been long famous for.

Of course, with these festivals we all go circular in pedestals with our habits. It was like last year, when Jean-Christophe had a shortened summer figuring out his transfer to Sabrefell Moths of the Zenith, and they went out the weekend before he was due to fly abroad. That year's Roxburgh, filled with an impressive setlist of 2010s rock stars that may as well have brought the entire country on board, was a particularly painful one to find any space to set up a tent, and after barely able to find a space to stand, the entire farm was hit with a thunderstorm that while provided some memorable performances videotaped, only caused pain and misery for the boys of the blue...

---

'Gosh, the tent is getting blown away! We need to dismantle it!'
'Let's look for somewhere else. Maybe on the outskirts of the farm. Probably a better idea to set it up there for now and come back to the Cocoon when it calms down.'
'Okay, there's a problem. I don't think the thunderstorm's gonna end tonight-'
'Look, those guys on the blue tent are leaving, maybe we should take that spot-'
'Fuck that, I'm not going to watch The Jamborees play, Joel!'
'Calm down, we'll have to settle into a solution. We can watch Axhova Wilkes tomorrow.'
'Can we please grab our tent before lightning strikes on it?'
'Will do, Zina. Let's call it a day guys. Maybe we can come back tomorrow and actually have an empty spot if all the boomers away right?'
'No, we need to stay. Those boomers, they won't go away. Have you seen some of the tents people have put up? Those are legit criminal of tents.'
'Ain't bogan, that's for sure.'
'Oh, shut it. Let's just bolt the pillars and redo the carpets.'
'No, you shut it.'
'No you JC-'
'Calm down, guys, calm down. No need to fight!''

---

Anyways let’s go back to the actual walk. It took about half an hour from Ile-Grimaud Station to the Borowick Farm, following the line of festivalgoers who were walking along the reed fields and marshes. The oldest Quebecois attendees of the initial days, whose numbers barely exist sheerly on the merits of their age, remembered the initial years this pilgrimage was held, with everybody coming along for the more medieval fair of music, dance and spontaneous entertainment. While these days there's a less of that on the road to there, with most festivalgoers either going straight to the Farm by car or just walking along the fields with barely any pop-up stalls on line due to stricter enforcements by local authorities (boo!), the walk itself still held that quaint, timeless atmosphere that people's come to associate Roxburgh with.

The festival's evolution from the initial years of infrequent festivals to an annual ritual had the effect of generating a mental state that would come once every year, which would kick off the summer festival season in this northerly nation, carrying into other music festivals all over it. Then, even as people would grow old and out of their twenties mindset, people would still be able to recollect their own time at the festival and carry it on, meaning that there's always going to be overlap of past and present

The walk to it was notoriously Pays-Bas flat, meaning that all they had to do when walking was to watch the surrounding reed fields and walking with their arms up in the air. 'You know, when we first started going...do you think we would have imagined this to continue on and on?' Zinaida asked, as she looked at the blue, clear skies that coloured brightly into their minds. As a West Coast girl who had grown up in Prince Eric, where the snow was rare and rain constant in the city proper, any kind of an overcast day was viewed with joy. Zinaida remembered that to be one of the positives that had come with it, especially after four years living in the city.

'There's something with it that involves going outside of the dreary city, and the complex, no doubt,' Jean-Christophe nodded, his sunglasses deflecting light into multiple directions. 'You know, there is a question that people often use on the other side of the city...I think it was 'can they do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke', and there's that dreariness in Montreal whenever we enter in it, and also when we go outside. Probably why we are all here, to get away in this farm just half an hour metro ride away.' He chuckled.

'You know...At least there was a relief that friendships of this group, while often placed into challenges due to the way people conduct their business and lives these days, was rewarding everybody involved. Unlike in past, people have come to understand distances bit more, and have figured out solutions as needed. 'You know, sometimes I think of home and the mountains, along the ski hills of Bassingbroke and Heinzer, and see those images.' Zinaida answered slowly, as they approached the narrow entrance of the Borowick Farm. 'The mountains back there, and the way sometimes you could find yourself isolated on weekends...but not far away from the piano tunes of rainy mondays back in the city. It makes you think.'

There was that nostalgic element that somehow popped into her mind at that very moment, as Zina's head briefly spun and rolled. 'Sometimes it be like that,' he answered. Jean-Christophe wasn't as sure on why she was saying it right now, on the very verge of entering the festival grounds, but he nodded anyway.

[Turori]

Eels Come from Behind to keep Win-Streak Alive in Almintora

Almintora National Stadium, Almintora, Turori :: After scoring fourteen goals in their first three matches of World Cup 90 Qualifying, the Turori National Team finally got back to basics in their difficult away game against Saint Eleanor. Any neutral who tuned in looking to see a thrilling high scoring matchup would have been sorely disappointed as the two defensive-minded sides played true to their nature with each side only managing to muster a single goal scoring opportunity a piece during the opening forty-five minutes. The Eels would make one change at half time looking to get a little more spark with Cusaram Sakeri replacing Bvalis Amaanara but the second half quickly looked very much like the first with limited attacking opportunities. It wasn't until the hour mark when Tarek Edgeli introduced Loala Inkabu to the game in place of Kinabo Telioa that things began to turn. The former Under-21 World Cup Champion who plays domestically for Bastion in Eura came in with a truckload of motivation and would score the games deciding goal in the 67th minute. The chance came after a mistake from Saint Eleanor goalkeeper John Bailey who attempted to play the ball quickly after collecting an over-hit lob over the top from Biliki Rona'atu'i. Bailey's quick put out was just out of reach of Exandra Davies who was beaten to the ball by Cuoabaza Orani'aoa. With space to run and Davies beat, Orani'aoa was able to pull in Luke Gregory leaving Inkabu free at the top of the box. The cross came in and it was an excellent first time volley from Inkabu that John Bailey could do nothing about. It was the only meaningful chance of the match and it was all Turori would need to extend their winning streak to four games.

From there the Eels would return home for their first and only match of the Qualifiers in the Capital City of Turori, at the Almintora National Stadium. Their opponents would be the struggling small nation of the Karodin Tetrarchy - a team with a uniquely attack-minded approach despite their five defender formation. The propensity for the team in White, Burgundy and Gold to push up in the attack really opened up the game particularly after Turori scored their first goal of the match on a 38th minute Free Kick from Daliora Toru'u. The Tetrarchy had taken an early lead through Maelle Debeauvais putting Turori in the rare position of trailing at home but the Equalizer from Toru'u opened up the game. Toru'u's second of the match just before the hour mark forced the Karodin Tetrarcy to push further up the field and Edgeli's Eels took advantage in a ruthless way bringing in fresh legs to keep applying the attacking pressure. In the 63rd minute Edgeli introduced Biliki Rona'atu'i in place of their namesake Karek Edgeli and Biliki Rona'atu'i quickly got involved in the action, utilizing their surplus energy to find the space feeding through youngster Lotara Makakio who doubled Turori's advantage. Just minutes later Loala Inkabu would score for a second consecutive game to add a fourth for Turori but the all-female Tetrarchy was not about to give up and finally pulled one back through Vona Kerautret in the 77th minute. Their fresh momentum lasted less then five minutes until another Turorian substitute, Turakia Diijelhma, would get on the scoresheet restoring Turori's three goal advantage and finally putting the result beyond doubt.

Despite a strong start to the campaign, Turori's path to the World Cup 90 Finals was far from clear as they would have a critical matchup against Drawkland coming up on Matchday 7 in a top of the table clash that would truly decide what kind of path would be ongoing in the second half of the campaign for both teams.

 Turori [1] - [0] Saint Eleanor
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 67' Loala Inkabu              		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 53%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 4	Saint Eleanor 	:: Possession: 47%:: Shots: 2:: Corners: 3
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D.] Bvalis Amaanara, [D.]  Planio’o Nrujsa, [ML]  Cuoabaza Orani’aoa, [MC] Daliora Toru'u, [MC]  Kinabo Telioa, [MR]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii			
	Bench:	[FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Loala Inkabu, [M] Kentu Umaka'a, [M] Naraiza Ruaplal, [U ] Cusaram Sakeri, [D] Moumouni Verre'elali, [GK] Wiyauw An'maude

 Turori [5] - [2] The Karodin Tetrarchy
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 38' Daliora Toru'u:: 58' Daliora Toru'u:: 66' Lutara Makakio:: 71' Loala Inkabu:: 80' Turakia Diijelhma          		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 61%:: Shots: 8:: Corners: 11	The Karodin Tetrarchy 	:: Possession: 39%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 9
	Lineup:	[GK] Derizi Amatopa, [D.] Karek Edgeli, [D.] Planio’o Nrujsa, [D.] Moumouni Verre'elali, [D.]  Amakli Inuro'o, [ML]  Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Kinabo Telioa, [MC]  Naraiza Ruaplal, [MR]  Tulaki Rauogba, [FC] Loala Inkabu, [FC] Lutara Makakio			
	Bench:	[FC] Turakia Diijelhma, [FC] Kala'a Yuliizala, [M] Kentu Umaka'a, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D] Cusaram Sakeri, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

---

TURORI NATIONAL ✓

@TuroriNat

Five Star Performance returns for #Eels who come from behind to take down the Karodin Tetrarchy with second half explosion at the #AlmintoraNatl Follow the Story Here...

#WC90Q - #TURvKAR - #AlmintoraNatl

---

[Saint Eleanor]

Skirting the Issue?
Episode III

3:52pm - Friday 7th March 1997

Same staffroom, next day, almost the same time... but not quite. And for an apparently good reason, too. "Afternoon, Sir and others," greeted one member of staff who hadn't spoken in these meetings for about six months, "is this about the protest again?"

"Yes, Harry," grumbled Holliday, "it's about the bloody protest. What did you expect? I had to round up about a dozen or two of the lads because they just persistently... really wanted to do this whole thing!"

"Why?"

"Some sort of thing about the bullies keeping them down; I had no interest in listening to their circular logic after I heard it the first time around."

"What are we to do about the bullies?"

"Bullying happens in every school but I'm not entirely sure it's too bad around these parts. A very long and very quick word normally suffices for those lot. This is a new level of inane, I'd add."

"How bad?"

"Inexplicably bad. They've told me they're going to do this every Friday until we explain how we're protecting them. I thought that was evident."

"It's not," said Kath the TA. "People know that this and that policy exist because you've told them about it but how many of them actually know what's in the policies, really? Maybe we should stick up a bunch of posters."

"I don't think that'll do for them. They probably want action and I'm fairly confident they're accusing us of having not acted. But do we need to take action? I'd say not."

"What sort of action?"

"I'm sorry, Mike," said Holliday, "but I still don't think we need to do anything."

"About the bullies?"

"Not more than we're already doing; the bullies are there but I'm not convinced they're going after more than a few students that they really hate. This is probably just another moral panic. What we really need to do is show those other sprogs that repeatedly not listening to school policy is grounds for punishment."

"Are you sure what kind of punishment? The fact you reportedly didn't even send the offenders home to get their uniform changed should probably be a sign that not even you're 'listening to the policy.' Why should we bother hounding them further?"

"Trust me - I'm going to have a high-level meeting with the headteacher in a bit and I'm sure he won't be happy at what this lot are doing, either. He might even take decisive action. What to do with them is his call, not mine."

Come the Monday, Whitehammer mysteriously issued a statement "expressing our commitment to the rule of law and the right of all students to learn in a safe environment" and the skirt protest collapsed almost as dramatically as it had begun. So much for the crackdown.

[Polkopia]

Polkopia's Road to the 90th World Cup - Celebrations Commence After Draw with Cassadaigua [Part 1]

"Wait, wait wait!" Nikita Rudin yelled out over the table. After the game, the Snovski had a decided that they were going to celebrate their win in true Polkopian fashion, which always began with hundreds of plates of small, cold hors d'oeuvres and snacks, followed by a night full of drinking. The team had reserved a table at LAMVIL, a restaurant which often catered to large, private parties, and whose location in the heart of Peeto's theatre district made it perfect to begin a night of binge drinking and partying after leaving. Right now, the team was sitting in the restaurant's function room in the basement, where a large, banquet table had been reserved just for them, and the žakutski had just been served. Before the team could dig into the cured fishes and open-faced sandwiches that had just been brought out, Siyan wanted to catch everyone's attention before the chaos ensued.

"Listen, everyone!" Rudin said, causing everyone in the room to quiet down as they looked at their captain, "I just wanted to say, thank you everyone for coming out tonight. We played a hell of a game, and although we couldn't bring home the win, I think we should all be proud of ourselves for the game we played today. I won't go over any tactical bullshit tonight, because I know everyone wants to have fun, but I want you all to know that I'm as happy as ever to be captaining all you motherfuckers out there!"

The rest of the team cheered and clapped, and Vadim Išutin grabbed one of the glasses on the table. "I think," he said, "we should have a toast to our captain! Thank you, Nikuška, for dealing with all of our bullsihit, and I'd like to drink to you!" Išutin held his glass of vodka up and looked around the table, where other soon began to clink their glasses around the room and down a their shots of vodka.

"Next," Danya Siyan chimed in, wiping the drops of alcohol that dripped off of his lower lip, "we should all take a drink for everyone who scored a goal tonight. One shot per goal, eh?"

The rest of the players laughed, but were eager to get the night started, so much of them obliged. "Can we get three more rounds for everyone here?" Siyan called out to whichever server was closest to them. Before long, trays of small glasses were being served around the room, each filled with a shot of vodka. Some players, most notably Vladimir Hužyak and Kristan Degtyarev, grabbed the glasses and pushed them toward the center of the table, not ones to heavily drink, no matter the occasion, while the majority of players all grabbed their glasses and held them up.

"To Yuri!" Siyan called out, resulting in a series of cheers from the other teammates, who knocked back their drink before grabbing a second.

"To Yakoby!" Several players all called out together before repeating the same procedure as last time.

"To Stepen!" Everyone called out together before taking their final shot, slamming their glasses on the table once they had finished the alcohol. Some of the players, noticing the discarded glasses of vodka on the table, swept in and claimed those glasses for themselves while others claimed first pickings for some of the food out on the table.

Išutin dropped back in his seat after taking one of Degtyarev's unwanted glasses of vodka and a few beef pirožki which he balanced delicately in his free hand. He bore his teeth into the soft, flaky breading of treat and tore off a mouthful, before washing it down with a swig of vodka.

Vladimir Ravlić turned toward Išutin and laughed, seeing his teammate's mouth overflowing with food. "Holy shit Vadya, have you been starving yourself for days or something?"

Išutin opened his mouth to speak, but crumbs began to fall out of his mouth and he was forced to finish chewing his food before he responded to his teammate. "You know," Išutin said after finally swallowing his food, "I'm a man of many admirable qualities, but patience is not one of them. If I see something, or someone," Išutin leaned forward and winked, "that I find desirable, it's in my nature to swoop in and claim it for myself."

Ravlić laughed, "Yes, that I know. By the way, what's the plan after this?" Ravlić grabbed a few pickles and threw them in his mouth before scanning the table to find what looked the most delicious.

"I don't know, I thought we were all going bar-hopping or something, right?" Išutin said, grabbing various kinds of foods and throwing them on his plate.

"That's what I thought too, but I think a few guys are heading back home after dinner. Wasn't sure if you were still planning on going out or not."

"Oh, little Vladik," Išutin laughed, "I thought you knew me better than that. Yes, I'm still fully intending on coming out tonight, but to be honest, I'm a little bored of the scene here. I've been to the same clubs and bars a thousand times, fucked the same people a hundred times, and gotten into every mess imaginable. I think I hate Peeto, to be honest."

Ravlić smirked, "Well, I'm not going with the rest of the team. I agree, they don't know how to party and have fun, but you, my dear, you're truly the most fun person I've ever met. So I'd like for you to come with me."

"Oh?" Išutin turned to Ravlić and stopped eating, "Where're you going then? If we end up at MILO or Morožoskoy Klub one more time, I'm saying, I'm never hanging out with you again."

Ravlić laughed, "No, no. Please tell me, when you're with the rest of the team, have you ever seen me at those places? No. I'm having a great time doing my own thing, and I want you to experience this for yourself. Just do me a favor," Ravlić leaned forward and began talking in a hushed voice, "let's keep this place between us, alright? I don't know if everyone here will fit the sort of vibe.

"Got it," Išutin said, nodding, "so what, after this, you and I walk to the place then?"

Ravlić shook his head, "No, how about you go to your hotel, shower, get ready, and I'll come pick you up. I'll bring a set of clothes for you to wear, so you just have to bring your chipper little self, okay?"

"You don't have to worry about that!" Išutin laughed, grabbing a fistful of pickled onions and throwing them onto his plate.

[Montana Verde]

Montaña Verde – 2 (2)
Dolfo; Castiglione, Arquímedes, Isidre Caldera, Juderías (78’); Santángel; Emma (61’ Valentinha ), Kristjana; Julia Varela; Verónica Ximena (8’) (54’ Naomí Berrocal ), Osito (65’) (72’ Indiano )

Bollonich – 2 (1)
Stevenson (18’ o.g.), Lindsey (37’), Knott (78’ pen.)

---

Delaclava – 5 (2)
Soto (6’), Meyer (23’, 66’), Lindblad (76’), Martin (89’)

Montaña Verde – 4 (2)
Dolfo; Zalladen (30’), Arquímedes, Jairo, Justin; Santángel (10’); Emma (59’ Valentinha (83’)), Primitivo (40’, 53’) (89’), Nicandro; Verónica Ximena (45’ Cristo Díaz (50’)), Osito (27’) (66’) (80’ Romualdo )

Montaña Verde were held to a frustrating draw at home with Bollonich. There was palpable tension in the air before a ball was kicked: the game was a rematch from World Cup 89, where a burgeoning rivalry developed between the two sides. The Condors entered with strikers Verónica Ximena and Osito in poor form, and made the shocking decision to drop playmaker Primitivo, preferring Julia Varela in the ‘10’ hole. The mercurial midfielder didn’t entirely convince: she hit a stunning free-kick that was acrobatically saved by Sean Halliday, and nearly assisted from a corner in what should have been a goal were it not for more Halliday heroics, but wasn’t much of a presence from open play, too easily worn down physically and turning the ball over too readily. Santángel had a better night in the crucial ‘5’ role, distributing well and showing composure in his tackling throughout. Justin was missing through injury again; Condors fans are starting to wonder how the frail left-back will survive the physicality of the Brenecian A-League. With Jairo and Ana-Ximena both out injured, Dolfo wore the captain’s armband for the first time, a testament to his mature performances this campaign.

The scoring was underway fast. Eschewing the modern tendency to play the ball out from the back, Dolfo cleared his lines with an old-fashioned hoof that travelled three-quarters of the pitch; the remaining quarter was left to Verónica Ximena, who beat the off-side trap and clinically beat Halliday off his line, a welcome goal for the under-pressure striker. There was no such luck for Osito, who toiled manfully but yet again could not find the back of the net despite two great chances in the opening fifteen minutes. First, after doing the hard work of a brilliant turn and using his strength to beat Ingit, he was through on goal but sent a weak effort through that was easily palmed wide; Julia Varela received the ensuing corner short and whipped in a fierce cross that Osito headed powerfully, only to be brilliantly saved by a flying Halliday. He might have scored when Verónica Ximena burst through on a counter-attack and cut the ball back into his path, but Stevenson lunged and sent the ball into his net.

Bollonich struck back before the half through right-back Sylvester Lindsey with a long-range strike that swerved out of Dolfo’s reach, and Naoki Kondo came close again immediately after the break with a free-kick tipped onto the bar. But the 2–1 lead looked secure as the Condors continued to attack; Verónica Ximena and Osito tired, but their replacements Naomí Berrocal and Indiano kept up the pressure, both going through on goal only to shoot wide. Then in the 78th minute, a seemingly innocuous cross into the box led to the second penalty the Condors had conceded in as many games, once again Justin’s replacement at left-back at fault: this time, it was Juderías who used his hand to deflect a possibly goalwards rebound. Experienced strike Gia Knott was composed over the ball despite being forced to wait nearly three minutes to take the spot kick after a flare thrown by Verdean fans unhappy at the decision landed on the field; once it was cleared away, she calmly stepped up and buried the kick.

The Condors will feel they had the better of the chances but were not clinical in front of goal. The Julia Varela experiment was scarcely a success, Justin and Jairo are badly needed back, and Osito simply must find a way to score, somehow.

---

The trip to Delaclava ended in defeat in a technical sense. There were moral victories on the field, though: for all that the Fénixes are ranked beneath the Condors, they were the better team on the day, clearly motivated and emotional in victory, in front of a baying home crowd. The Condors ran them close and it took an 89th minute winner to split the teams. More encouragingly for Verdean fans, Justin and Jairo were both fit, and even better, the troubled Osito and dispirited Primitivo bounced back. As well as bringing back the four veterans, there were two changes to the starting XI: Nicandro made his debut on the left after Kristjana’s performances have tailed off, and Zalladen was brought in as injury cover for Castiglione, who limped her way through the closing minutes of the Bollonich game. Santángel retained the 5 shirt as Ana-Ximena continues to sit out. Jairo retook the captain’s armband.

Delaclava rocketed to a strong start: within 4 minutes, Varlam Kovalev had woven through the Condors’ defense and powered a shot to force a fine save from Dolfo high to his right. Within 90 seconds, the home team went ahead as a poorly defended free-kick led to a header finding Damian Soto in space. Jairo rushed out to close him down but found himself tackling air as Soto whipped around him and slotted home past Dolfo. Down one goal, the Condors then went one player down when Santángel undid all the good notes he’s accumulated in the last month, viciously clattering Soto as they both went for a bouncing ball in midfield. He was shown straight red and left the field with his head in his hands. The somber mood seemed to fit both teams: when Kovalev’s cross was poorly defended by Arquímedes, his off-balance header only falling as far as Lukas Meyer who feinted past a scrambling Nicandro and slammed home the second goal, the celebrations were curiously muted.

Not so for Osito, who celebrated his first goal in weeks with a leonine roar. A superb long throw from Zalladen unleashed Emma into space to drag a cross into the box, and Verónica Ximena unselfishly played on Osito to charge onto the ball and fire into the empty net. The goal was no less welcome for coming gift-wrapped and the entire team congregated to congratulate the big ‘7’ on breaking his dry spell. Even better was Primitivo, whose free-kick from a seemingly unthreatening distance far out and in the middle of the pitch soared into the top corner over an astonished Van der Beek. Primitivo’s return to form was confirmed shortly after the half-time break from another Emma cross, this one finding the central midfielder to thump in a header.

But the man advantage was starting to tell. Meyer was dropping deep and controlling the midfield; substituting Verónica Ximena for Cristo Díaz at the half had made no impression on the Condors’ ability to hold possession in the middle of the field. Eventually, the pressure told as a lovely long pass from Rahmonberdi Zhusupov found Meyer (the Condors thought he used a hand bringing the ball down but a subsequent VAR check was inconclusive); he turned and fired a brilliant curling strike that two Dolfos end-on-end couldn’t have stopped. Meyer turned assister ten minutes later with a pass that split the centre-backs, who could only watch as Kent Lindblad stabbed in a shot, not cleanly struck, but catching Dolfo wrong-footed by cleverly playing it across his body.

Struggling in the middle, the Condors resorted to some distinctly Ruta Uno tactics in the final minutes, Dolfo or Jairo thumping long balls up to a clearly gassed Primitivo or debutant Romualdo to try to connect with, but it was the fresh legs of Valentinha, on as an energy sub for Emma, who broke through with a spin-move before unleashing a powerful low shot. The Condors thought they could have won it, too, when Primitivo smashed a late volley across the face of the goal, clipping the outside of the post. But it was not to be as a sensational strike from Martin sealed the win for the Delaclavs. The final four minutes of added time were played breathlessly and produced a half-chance as Romualdo headed over the bar, but the crowd’s jubilation at the final whistle told the story.

---

Despite just one point from six, in many ways this wasn’t the worst week the Condors could have dreaded. There was a return to form for some key players, although they have a problem at ‘5’: Santángel suspended, Ana-Ximena questionably fit, Cristo Díaz looking a good replacement for neither. The hail of goals didn’t reflect on Dolfo’s keeping too badly, and he had captained the team with great bravery against Bollonich. But the fact remains a chasm is opening in Grupo Quatro between Græntfjall and Toro Castrado, and everyone else, and bridging that great divide looks an increasingly tough flight for the Condors to make. They can start next week, when they face up to the hated Græntfjallers, though first they must meet the rising power of Estorvipa y Estorpiva. Which Osito will show up could well determine their fate: the diffident trudger of weeks past, or the revitalized spirit seen in Cleopatrana.

[Geektopia]

---

Categorium: Work (Curated by Migueis in Geektopia) edited by Atham Tasasubsil in Burur cak Noaqsi)[/tab]
Automobiles (Curated by Naumovic in Geektopia) edited by Christoffer Cappuyns in Chica Saw) <======= You are here.
Amusement (Curated by Zahharov in Geektopia) edited by Corion Icepis Samarneta in Aimena)
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Technology (Curated by Tschšppeler in Geektopia) edited by Shuan Zawadkun in Aimena)
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Multiverse (Curated by El Baraka in Geektopia) edited by Eva Mariska II Purrlicious Chowder Chocolate in Islas Cardinales)

The Car Guys actively try and search for a way to restore broken-down albeit authentic "Geekmobile" Fjord Fiata 5100 (yes, the very same one Dingledine held a boozefest in after Geektopian NT's unexpected Cup of Harmony 77 success). After the restoration process, they'll try to look for a buyer waging more than what Saredo and company bought it for by temporarily hiring the right people, obtaining the right parts, and performing the right handiwork. [DAY 1]

When Saredo sees YET ANOTHER junkyard (his career 500th this week), he thinks of the token phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure".

S: When it comes to cars like these and their lack of parts, I sometimes get really frustrated going through it and being asked why I still do. The opposite, however, of what I've been trying to look for in my four hundred fifty years as an automotive junkyard collector is what I'm trying to look for today. That being, a minimal automobile without much weight on it. A working Fjord is an ideal option for its weightlessness and antiquity, but we can see much better when it comes to this by trying to look for a broken down one. Crazy, right?

Car designer and builder Saredo and his Unimonite right hand man not exactly in command Tubals Ealjabiun are sifting through this trash to find a diamond in the rough.

TE: I think the selection isn't going to be all that bad when it comes to finding one brand of car. I've seen junkyards that look much more hopeless when it comes to variety and color, so I take it that Saredo is a good man, doing his research like this.

At home base, Saredo's Geektopian daughter Ali Muhd is collecting intel to look into junkyards across the Congolese deep for future, while also looking at a very shady department of the Internet in junk car offers and sales.

AM: While we're still talking, my father is pretty headstrong when it comes to his compatibility, rather, competence with most things Internet-wise. You can't win a verbal battle against Saredo, though, when it comes to the arguing stuff. When I think about it, he would've made a good lawyer had his job prospects not gone to hell five double oh ago. I mean we're talking about a guy that likes to go outside and look at trumped up cars for hours, determining how bad this choice automobile is and what the ramifications of purchasing it are. A competent scrapper would get that mental work done within half an hour and not keep at it like a hungry bird.

Scrapping is a popular occupation, if not hobby, for the occupants in Chinese Congo. It presents an opportunity to bring home a car which is cheap enough or slightly less than that of one's bank balance, and then fix it up, while adding qualities along the way that make the car mirror either the buyer's or their own personality and preferences. Since the country is a dust bin, folks shifted their focus away from football and in front of a hobby which puts one's work in tune with the dry, unclean environment.

Having failed to find anything of note in the junkyard, Saredo has zeroed onto a popular auction in Boma set to open in eight weeks with bidders coming from all over the continent. The country's biggest annual auction features the run-down Fjord Fiata which legendary deceased football manager Dingledine used to own and serenade his athletes in, and Saredo wants to bring home something surrounded in unprecedented acclaim. But the prospect of keeping this is strictly off-limits as far as bringing in the big bucks goes.

S: Much of this week's episode is hinged on the ramifications of me getting a good broken down car. This auction has different strokes for different strokes, and the most popular item is that of what the ancient Dingledine used to drive in his 1800s. Better yet? It's the brand we've been looking for, while the model year is hailed by experts in the automotive field to be a contender for the top five model year makes of all time by Fjord. I don't see folks coming to Boma who'll understand the gravity of this auction, so it's an easy and profitable snag, though we have to have a whole car, albeit broken down.

AM: It looks to me, with this picture of the interior as a reference point, that there's some rust on the back seats. Only rust, though it's not rust in normal places, that's for darn sure.

Saredo returns with a heavy heart, much to think about, and empty hands. While he feels this is his most off-color venture into the junkyard, Ali Muhd seems to have struck a bullseye.

AM: Dad, I've only got a few minutes to make an offer on this car before it sells to someone else, what would you suggest I do? Bidding wars are sooooo tough these days. This hunk of junks at thirty two hundred yen right now, yeah. What's yen compared to cryptos again? Ugh, I did not sign up for this.

S: Let me look at that one more time here.

AM: Sure thing, famalam.

S: This is daylight robbery! Asides from the thing being expensive, this back seat area here looks like it's been bitten into by rust. I would want to take a tetanus shot after stepping half a foot in the interior.

Ali Muhd's discovered an Omicron Mudskipper, quite the trophy. Alongsides being built for terrain and the road, the Skipper's sturdiness along with the components that strengthen it combine for an effective three-wheeled make. On top of this, the car can withstand three hundred and fifty mile per hour drafts. Not just what Saredo was seeking, though a comforting alternative.

S: This website is policemanlike, only letting you bid on goods via the stipulations given in that of an auction. it looks like they're taking up enforcement a notch when it comes to their on-site policies too. Whatever the dislikes, I think this auto has some nice potential, though it is a secondary concern. If this is your own money being represented, you can go ahead and bid higher.

AM: Right-o.

S: Should be a hunky-dory addition.

AM: Okey-dokey, artichokey.

S: By far, this has got to be the lowest point in terms of engagement that this website's had in the last three hundred years. For a featured auction, there's only a few people who've bid, and the last one chose to be a douchebag about it and go minimum over 30K cryptos! Or in other words, 5,121,922 and a half Chinese Congolese yen.

Only thirty hundred for a novel item laced with tough and brawny Geektopian features?! Despite the faults he's pointed out, Saredo can't help but to go all in, whether it's his money or Ali Muhd's.

AM: Ok, time's up! I think we bought it.

S: How do you mean "we bought it"? And you say you're sure this was purchased with your money?

AM: Well, I say that because us getting this auto in the first place is a team effort. Not money-wise, but intel-wise.

S: How much was that in the end?

AM: Aughhh, about thirty two hundred and fifty.

S: Sounds expensive!

AM: Yup.

S: You ought to come up with me to pick that up. For extra protection, course.

AM: Sure thing.

S: As I said, doesn't look cheap at all. For one thing, I think you could have compared prices but I don't fault you for getting emotionally involved in a bid war for that Mudskipper. From when we fix it up, it'll have powers of enchantment that no man can resist.

Yap, looks like there's a real sense of cohesiveness and teamwork from what we've seen at the shop. Stationed in Matadi for eighteen hundred years, Saredo has some pretty close friendships in the shop that would rival that of man and dog, with his long line of hired staff who have earned their plaudits plentily. A lot of folks line up for the compassionately named "Auto-Santa"s custom made cars, many customers of which aren't looted and take back rides of incredible quality.

S: So, where's this Mudskipper you think?

AM: I don't know, *sarcastically* in Campo de Ervas? Really, it's by the freeway at his grandson's, honest.

For this collaborative enterprise, Saredo may have to steer out his comfort zone.

S: What kind of problems await us? Is the automobile missing some parts, hydrolocked, or is the only detractor its possession of rust in a part of the back seat area?

AM: He said that the rust may have already spread to the Mudskipper's engine and has been a setback to passenger comfortability, though Vitamški had a technician take a look at this rust and from what I've been told, it doesn't seem all that bad yet.

It's a buy he's never seen physically, and his intentions are to repair it, spending his daughter's money to open the door of either opportunity or embarrassment. An unwise decision? More still, it wasn't the automobile he was intending to buy either.

S: The only few Mudskipper model year makes that came out, I didn't like anything about 'em. This one that's being bought by us looks like something, at least.

Omicron's Mudskipper series popped up in the middle of the 3500s with three variations; the basic subcompact, the compact which included door handles made of carbon fiber and a foldable grill under the seats, and the sought-after pickup, with an engine that stuck out and gave the hood a more muscular look.

Saredo's hoping to catch an enthusiast of the Mudskipper collection at the auction in Boma. They're animated and in the mood to spend should they come across the right model.

V: You want to take a look, no?

S: Sure, allow me to go back there and "check the car out".

That's one Omicron Mudskipper which maybe has been through... too much mud.

S: When it comes to what you need to look out for while buying a subcompact like this online, doing your research, comparing prices, and weeding out the "too good to be true" buys is a given, along with taking pictures of parts that I had no idea were in this bad of a condition. As I thought, there's the rust. In any given SUV, which are also usually subcompacts, there's this diamond trunk flooring here which I'd imagine doesn't accommodate cargo very well without a scratch around the part which I see that surrounds the wheel, the wheelhouse. The SUV looks like it's had its engine compartment harness swapped out and replaced.

By all means, this design has been around the block. You can tell that these back windows *bump* have had their sealant jeopardized by a number of outside factors before.

In Saredo's eight weeks until the auction, he does not want to have to deal with complete material replacement or rust, and this disdain showed it's true colors when he reacted in a volatile manner to the pictures of rust on those back seats this morning. Entirely replacing diamond plate and flooring just takes up too much time, as does cleaning and restoration of patchy rust spots around the car's backside (not just it's interior).

S: This'll have to be done very carefully, and even then, I'm not sure as to how my workshop buddies and I are going to restore it in just fifty six days. There's no ifs, ands, or buts as to what parts of the car need fixing, and it's sellable. At the same time, I don't think we can get sloppy with this one and leave spots of rust we weren't able to clean out on the finished product.

AM: Using the right tools is also a concern with you, Sare. As I so often say, you can't slay a small bunny with a huge hammer.

S: Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that figuratively or literally, sounds like a mucky job. Let's head back with the Mudskipper and uh.. think this one through. There's still seven weeks and six days.

---

Britonisea 2-0 Geektopia <> 48,254 @ Stadium Strata, Telm, Britonisea
Goals: 20' by #10 Jourdain Amédée (assisted by #6 Arad Samuels | BRI | header), 80' by #2 Timothy Arones (assisted by #4 Zak Ahmed | BRI | right-footed shot)

Substitutions: 2' | #29 Diminno in for replacement of #23 Rebimbas
2' | #4 Livengood in for replacement of #13 Julio
2' | #69 Lierin Minilinsirtaytfah Y Nayj in for replacement of #20 Rinnert
23' | #26 Gerking in for replacement of #30 Ponti

Player's Marks:
LERTORA: 6.0
AUTIANNA 'ARDIQUSWAA: 6.0
PITTER: 6.0
REBIMBAS: 5.9 ↓
MATKOWSKI: 6.0
GERMAINE SOPHIE: 5.9
RINNERT: 6.0 ↓
ROLKE: 6.0
JULIO: 6.0 ↓
PONTI: 6.0 ↓
----------------------------------------------
DIMINNO: 6.0 ↑
LIVENGOOD: 5.9 ↑
LIERIN MINILINSIRTAYTFAH Y NAYJ: 6.0 ↑
GERKING: 5.9 ↑
SWADLEY: 6.0
ZALIE 'AMQUK: 6.0
SHAMMAMI: 6.0
OGRODOWSKI: 6.0
JAKIUS KRUTIQAYIR TARUN: 6.0

[Vdara]

Five, Five, Five

Played five, won five, goal difference of… five. Truly, Vdara were having a decent start to the tournament (albeit, still yet to play the first seeds), and one that brought about a pattern of sorts. It’s a bit like that Drawkish pattern of sevens, albeit much funnier and more relevant. Nevertheless, this got us thinking: have we ever had a start like this within five games before? As it turned out - no!

World Cup 90:

Group 16                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vdara                             5    5   0   0    12    7   +5    15
2 Farfadillis                       5    4   1   0    20    8  +12    13

At Five
Despite not winning any game by more than one goal, Vdara have managed to pull off a 5-0-0 for the first time in their history - and yet, they still have a goal difference of only +5, which is quite a bother considering the much higher goal difference of Farfadillis, Vdara’s direct challenger for qualification.
After Five
Vdara are yet to face Garbelia or Farfadillis, in a spell of matches which could spell disaster if not treated with utmost caution.
Verdict
Hands down, best start ever.

World Cup 89:

*  Group 5                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Valanora                             5    4   1   0    13    5   +8    13
 2 Vdara                                5    4   0   1    14   10   +4    12

At Five
WC89 saw the Vdarans make it to their second ever group stage - but how did they do in their first five? Pretty good, considering their only loss was to Valanora, who was ranked third at the time in comparison to Vdara’s paltry forty-sixth.
After Five
Vdara would go on to lose to second seed Yuezhou and sixth seed Treekidistan, remaining unbeaten in their remaining fixtures.
Verdict
A solid start, but not outstanding. A better result against Valanora would have garnered a better rating, but alas.

World Cup 88:

Group 8                                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ko-oren                                     5    5   0   0    15    5  +10    15
 2 HUElavia                                    5    4   0   1    15    7   +8    12
 3 Vdara                                       5    4   0   1    14    7   +7    12

At Five
Some fantastic results against lower-ranked sides such as the Communist Republic of North Yorkshire boosted Vdara’s goal difference greatly - without it, they’d have been six goals worse off. Losing to third seeds HUElavia by 3-0 saw them immediately behind, with the defensive artists of Ko-oren cruising at the top.
After Five
A disappointing showing from Vdara show them lose to Txakhaxi, Ko-oren, Delaclava and Frestovenia following the opening five - as well as drawing twice with Barunia. They had an alright start, but it was all downhill from there.
Verdict
Third position, just battered by the third seeds and stat-padding by hammering lower-rated opposition. Not our greatest start.

World Cup 87:

Group 4                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vdara                                  5    3   2   0    14    8   +6    11
 2 Hapilopper                             5    3   1   1    12    8   +4    10

At Five
Top of the group, but already having dropped points to Baker Park and Xanneria. A win over Hapilopper hoisted them to the top spot - and they would remain there until the end of the group stage.
After Five
Losses to Electrum and Xanneria dented a proud qualification campaign, but defeating first seeds Baker Park and topping the group on goal difference was a proud moment for the team - giving them a benchmark to set for future tournaments.
Verdict
Overall, an okay start to the tournament. Drawing with the first seeds isn’t too bad, but it can always be improved on.

World Cup 86:

Group 3                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vdara                                  5    4   1   0    21    9  +12    13
 2 Pasarga                                5    4   1   0    11    5   +6    13

At Five
A 4-4 draw with Drunk People At The Local Tavern had set the Vdarans back slightly, but they’d had a brilliant start overall, with a goal difference double that of second-placed Pasarga and first seeds Eura out of sight.
After Five
This start was more of a mirage, if anything - the Vdarans would have harsh losses against Pasarga, Eura, Acronius and Timuria, taking them back down a peg with a four-game losing run at the end of the qualifiers.
Verdict
Considering the level of opponents faced in the first five, a relatively normal start - albeit, still a good one.

World Cup 85:

*   Group 11                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Equestria                               5    5   0   0    19    8  +11    15
 2 Xanneria                                5    4   1   0    16   10   +6    13
 3 HUElavia                                5    4   0   1    19   13   +6    12
 4 Nooooooooooooooo                        5    1   3   1     6    6    0     6
 5 Lo Santano                              4    1   2   1     7    6   +1     5
 6 Ancherion                               5    1   2   2    12   13   −1     5
 7 Kandorith                               5    1   2   2     8   10   −2     5
 8 Fujai                                   4    1   2   1     4    9   −5     5
 9 South Concepthuania                     5    1   1   3     8   12   −4     4
10 Blouman Empire                          4    0   3   1     5    6   −1     3
11 Monglechabagd                           4    0   3   1     4    6   −2     3
12 Vdara                                   5    1   0   4    11   16   −5     3

At Five
…yeah. A 2-1 win against Nooooooooooooooo was Vdara’s only glimmer of hope as they found themselves battered and bruised by losses to HUElavia, Equestria, Xanneria - and perhaps most famously, Lo Santano. A genuinely tough run of fixtures, but a horrible start nonetheless.
After Five
Vdara finished the group in fifth place, after a buildup of momentum saw them able to pick up the pieces following the heart-shattering start. Three points off of third place wasn’t bad for a nation in its second cycle of participation.
Verdict
Hard fixtures, horrible start. Has to be up there as our worst start, full stop.

World Cup 84:

Group 6                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Equestria                         4    4   0   0    19    5  +14    12
 2 Quakmybush                        5    3   1   1    12    9   +3    10
 3 Darmen                            5    3   1   1    11    9   +2    10
 4 Vdara                             5    2   1   2     8    8    0     7

At Five
After initially being defeated by Kwangtzu Guānnán and Hapilopper, the new-to-international-football Vdarans picked up impressive wins against Quakmybush and Nomoterra, as well as a draw with the Sultanate of Oontaz.
After Five
I’ll be honest with you, the start was the only time that Vdara had any enjoyment at all. For the rest of the group stage, they were battered as they finished fourth bottom of the group. Still, an alright showing considering their unranked status.
Verdict
A properly decent start, can’t complain too much at all.


Summary
Although this is Vdara’s best start to a WCQ campaign ever, the players and staff cannot get too complacent. There’s still two matches of this half (as well as another half!) to go, and they’re against both the best side in the group and the fourth seeds - you’ve got to say that there’s definite possibility that they lose both games, and have all their progress at the start be undone. Starts don’t matter unless you can harness the momentum from the early stages - and if you can’t, you’re in for a bit of a stinker for the rest of the tournament.

(Anyhow, while we wait for news on how our next two matches will pan out, I’ll give you a recommended tune that I’ve been enjoying over the past couple of days - Charlie Brown, by Coldplay. Not sure if it’s any of you guys’ style, but it isn’t really mine either, and I quite like it.)

[Metherwoll]

Metherwoll’s results, accompanied by images from Still Game

Lathamford 0-1 Metherwoll


“we did the slosh efterwards. it wis braw.”

Metherwoll 0-2 Brenecia


“we shat it. we willnae dae that again.”