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by Jedinsto » Sat Jul 17, 2021 6:40 am
by Jedinsto » Sun Jul 18, 2021 4:56 am
by Moonfungus » Sun Jul 18, 2021 7:30 am
Authorship of the Treaty of the Northern Passage, which most notably established mutual government recognition, embassies, non-aggression and defense, open communication, supporting domestic GA authors, and cultural co-operation between Europe and The North Pacific, thereby boosting regional security, intelligence, and influence in the World Assembly for both regions,
Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act, which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, furthering Europe's role as one of the most powerful regions in the WA,
Serving as delegate for an incredible five and a half years,
Noting IA’s brief ventures into the Security Council
Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, the authorship of several GA guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,
Honoring IA's six co-authorships of GA resolutions, accentuating their dedication to international law and helping other authors, most notably including:
Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only become more important and unique,
Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only increased in its diversity and importance,
by Jedinsto » Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:17 am
Moonfungus wrote:Should use ETS (Estimated Time of Submission) instead of ETA
Anyway;Authorship of the Treaty of the Northern Passage, which most notably established mutual government recognition, embassies, non-aggression and defense, open communication, supporting domestic GA authors, and cultural co-operation between Europe and The North Pacific, thereby boosting regional security, intelligence, and influence in the World Assembly for both regions,
That's a mouthful way of saying that the treaty established an alliance with TNP. Not critiquing it or something, but this personally seems like too much details for what is supposed to be a standard alliance.
Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act, which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, furthering Europe's role as one of the most powerful regions in the WA,
I would recommend using 'solidifying' in the bolded part instead of 'furthering'.
Serving as delegate for an incredible five and a half years,
Definitely a personal preference, but while being delegate for a long time is a noteworthy feat, it doesn't exactly seem commendable to me. I'm much more interested in what they did during their delegacy there and while you have listed some of the things they've done there above, the way the clause is currently structured and written makes it seem like that those things were done before IA became delegate, not after.
Noting IA’s brief ventures into the Security Council
I would recommend using 'venture' instead of 'ventures' in the bolded part.
Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, the authorship of several GA guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,
Use an 'and' instead of a comma in the bolded part.
Honoring IA's six co-authorships of GA resolutions, accentuating their dedication to international law and helping other authors, most notably including:
I would recommend using a 'with' instead of a 'by' in the sub-clauses under this clause, although this is definitely a personal preference.
Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only become more important and unique,
Just a suggestion, but might want to use this instead:Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only increased in its diversity and importance,
The rest of the proposal looks okay to me, good luck with this.
by Moonfungus » Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:56 am
Jedinsto wrote:Is the new structure better?
by Nova Vandalia » Sun Jul 18, 2021 11:43 am
Outer Sparta wrote:Nova Vandalia wrote:
Not the way I meant Neutral.
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=con ... ate_sweden
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=hyp ... n_dagestan
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=rei ... n_burgundy
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=neu ... s_imperium
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=totenkozia
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=ber ... ack_league
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=the_vichy_france
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=new_nationalist
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=nat ... f_germania
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=the ... the_nordic
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=ger ... onal_state
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=bun ... eutschland
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=new ... etherlands
https://www.nationstates.net/nation=saiwania
Our region's stance is largely if you spam or break the rules on the message board, you get banned. Most of those nations are simply just there and do nothing in general or do nothing much on the RMB.
by Outer Sparta » Sun Jul 18, 2021 11:47 am
Nova Vandalia wrote:Outer Sparta wrote:Our region's stance is largely if you spam or break the rules on the message board, you get banned. Most of those nations are simply just there and do nothing in general or do nothing much on the RMB.
So then there should be no issue getting rid of them if they add nothing... is what I'm hearing. And make no mistake that list should be much longer, but you all lost a good bit during the Nazi Purge.
by Jedinsto » Wed Jul 21, 2021 1:18 pm
Sedgistan wrote:What aspects of your proposal are you concerned might duplicate the previous Commendation?
by Lenlyvit » Wed Jul 21, 2021 3:09 pm
Jedinsto wrote:Sedgistan wrote:What aspects of your proposal are you concerned might duplicate the previous Commendation?
Possibly the part about his delegacy which includes the time he was delegate prior to the first commendation. There might be other parts but that's the main concern.
Thanks for taking a look
Recognizing that Imperium Anglorum has provided helpful and constructive feedback on many General Assembly and Security Council drafts,
Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, and the authorship of several GA guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,
by Jedinsto » Wed Jul 21, 2021 3:49 pm
Lenlyvit wrote:Jedinsto wrote:Possibly the part about his delegacy which includes the time he was delegate prior to the first commendation. There might be other parts but that's the main concern.
Thanks for taking a look
I'm not a mod, nor am I Sedge, but I think the closest thing to duplication would be these clauses:
From the first resolutionRecognizing that Imperium Anglorum has provided helpful and constructive feedback on many General Assembly and Security Council drafts,
From this resolutionAppreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, and the authorship of several GA guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,
The bolded part of your draft is where I myself may see a problem, although I can't say for 100% certainty. That's just my opinion, and again I'm not a moderator.
by Jedinsto » Sat Jul 24, 2021 9:59 am
by Team Lennox » Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:18 am
Aware of prior Security Council Commendation of Imperium Anglorum (IA) for their work in the General Assembly (GA), but believing that their contributions to the World Assembly (WA) and the world at large since this initial commendation to be significant enough to warrant a second commendation,
recording the content of all proposals submitted to the WA, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA;
during which time they authored and passed SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six GA resolutions and their consistent debating in the halls of the Assembly,
by Jedinsto » Wed Jul 28, 2021 9:55 am
Team Lennox wrote:Aware of prior Security Council Commendation of Imperium Anglorum (IA) for their work in the General Assembly (GA), but believing that their contributions to the World Assembly (WA) and the world at large since this initial commendation to be significant enough to warrant a second commendation,
Should be "Aware of the prior Security Council..."recording the content of all proposals submitted to the WA, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA;
I think you should rewrite this clause into something like "Which records the content of all proposals submitted to the WA, and voting statistics of at-vote resolutions that are updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA;during which time they authored and passed SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six GA resolutions and their consistent debating in the halls of the Assembly,
Should be "During which the time..."
Other then that the draft looks fine and is well done!
by Team Lennox » Thu Jul 29, 2021 4:04 am
Jedinsto wrote:Team Lennox wrote:Should be "Aware of the prior Security Council..."
I think you should rewrite this clause into something like "Which records the content of all proposals submitted to the WA, and voting statistics of at-vote resolutions that are updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA;
Should be "During which the time..."
Other then that the draft looks fine and is well done!
First thing- fixed
Second thing- your rewrite is basically what I had originally, but I liked Morover’s edits and I’m gonna keep them just out of personal preference.
Third thing- during which the time is grammatically incorrect.
Thanks for the support!
by Refuge Isle » Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:39 pm
[MADE QUORUM AT SOME POINT BETWEEN 39h09 and 40h28]
by Praeceps » Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:46 pm
by The Python » Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:51 pm
Refuge Isle wrote:[MADE QUORUM AT SOME POINT BETWEEN 39h09 and 40h28]
I would pay money at this point for this thread naming convention to stop being a thing.
by Tinhampton » Fri Jul 30, 2021 8:29 pm
Refuge Isle wrote:[MADE QUORUM AT SOME POINT BETWEEN 39h09 and 40h28]
I would pay money at this point for this thread naming convention to stop being a thing.
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