[Name] Who Ya Gonna Call?
[Desc] Renowned researcher Dr. Raymond Venkman was arrested last night for trespassing after entering @@ANIMAL@@ Public Library after hours. He claimed he was there in an attempt to capture a ghost.
[option] "I know there was one in there! I saw the spirit with my own eyes!" declares Venkman, wearing a gray jumpsuit and what appears to be a portable vacuum cleaner on his back. "Apparitions are as real as you or me, @@LEADER@@. For far too long, my area of study has been belittled as 'unscholarly' or 'downright stupid.' The fact is we just don’t get enough credit for all the work we do! Please, devote more time and effort into studying these other-worldly phenomena… and it wouldn't hurt to throw a few more @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ at the cause, either."
[effect] @@DEMONYM@@ researchers are covered in ectoplasm
[option] "Enough with all of this preposterous nonsense," says your Minister of Easily Explainable Occurrences, who stopped believing in Santa before starting grade school. "We all know ghosts don't exist, and no one has provided evidence to the contrary yet. Instead of entertaining these childish fantasies, we must fund a public campaign educating every day people that ghosts are fake. Stick posters up across major cities and run ads critical to the existence of afterlife entities. There is simply no room in @@NAME@@ for this type of ignorance."
[effect] there is a reasonable explanation for the flickering lights in the halls of parliament
[option] Just as you're ready to leave for the day, a low-level aide, who's rumored to be afraid of their own shadow, stops you. "Sorry for eavesdropping, @@LEADER@@, but I was just waiting outside your office doing... uh, I don't know. Anyways, I have been saying to those who will listen for years that spirits and demons can be found everywhere in our society. I swear I saw one in your office the other day, or maybe that was just you, I couldn't tell. The only way we can truly be safe from these foul beings is to mandate every building has a yearly exorcism performed on it."
[effect] exterminators offer complimentary exorcisms for every fifth call made
