Cup of Harmony 79: Everything Thread

[Frestovenia]

Frestovenia must fear early exit in CoH after big defeat against Northwest Kalactin


Frestovenian goalkeeper Vantur Ormut and defender Klaus Vage in the background.

After a surprising win over Indusse in the opening match of the Cup of Harmony (2-3), the Frestovenians now lost its second group match with big numbers against host nation Northwest Kalactin (5-2). In the first ten minutes of the match, the Northwest Kalactin side got the upper hand and came close to score an early goal. Will Sanders fired a shot on goal, but the Frestovenian defence bravely blocked his effort. Five minutes later it was again Will Sanders that had his eyes on the Frestovenian goal, again his effort went well over the crossbar. The team of Northwest Kalactin and their supporters were waiting for the first goal in the match. In the 29th minute, the goal was finally there. Keith Torres unleashed an unstoppable shot inside the left post. Seven minutes later it was Thomas Butler that made a second goal for the Kalactins. Not the start that the Frestovenians had in mind. The match statistics showed a dominating Northwest Kalactin side taking 76% possession and fired 12 shots on target against only one coming from the Frestovenians.

Comeback?

The team of Northwest Kalactin continued with scoring goals. Only two minutes after the start of the second half and we already have a goal. Thomas Butler made his second of the night. His shot found the right post past the goalkeeper. 3-0 shows the scoreboard. Frestovenia had to come with answers and they did come with answers. A penalty in the 50th minute was taken by Olaf Artvikker and he fired the ball in the left post. Later on, Sven Ogson had a huge opportunity, but he blazed his effort high over the bar. Frestovenia was very close to making it 3-2, but they were very unlucky. Instead of making it 3-2, a terrible mistake of Frestovenian defender Klaus Vage resulted in the 4-1 for Northwest Kalactin as he lost possession, allowing Keith Torres to pick up the ball and score the goal. This goal surely secured the win for the Northwest Kalactin side. Things got worse for the Frestovenians as the opponent scored another goal. Frank Owens scored an absolute screamer from the outside of the box, with the ball flying into the top left corner. The four turns into a five and the Frestovenian players on the pitch can just not believe it. Runnert Jartute made a second goal for the Frestovenians for the statistics with a header flying past the goalkeeper from a corner kick. Northwest Kalactin wins and totally deserved that. They did what they had to do here. Northwest Kalactin 5, Frestovenia 2.

Northwest Kalactin 5 – 2 Frestovenia
@Gold Coast International, Gold Coast

Goals: Torres 29' 57' Butler 36' 47' Artvikker 50' (pen.) Owens 75' Jartute 80'

All or nothing

Frestovenia can still advance to the second round if they can pick up a win in the next match against Valladares. A misstep for hosts Northwest Kalactin against Indusse can also help us to get a ticket for the round of 32. Our next opponent Valladares tops the group with six points out of two matches. Valladares smashed Indusse in their last match with a rain of goals (6-2). Big game lays in front of us as Frestovenia takes on Valladares at the Gold Coast International with Valladares as the pre-match favourites. Don't miss the action and follow it live on Fresto Sports channel one!

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport




Corsairs Hit For Six



Blanco Borrayo reports;

National coach Brian McAllister would have drummed the fundamentals into his charges. Keep it tight, stay focused, don’t gift the opposition anything. Make them work for it. It was advice that stuck for a good two and a half minutes, the same two and half minutes in which this contest was nicely poised. Until a hopeful ball was lofted forward and Tengretz Aidor tricked his way goal side of Raúl Dengra. In his panic to rectify the situation the Alianza Jucaro centreback grabbed a handful of the striker’s shirt and hauled him back. The whistle duly blew and the referee pointed straight at the spot. And, given Aidor was in the penalty area with just Alejandro Martínez to beat, it was deemed to have been a clear goal scoring chance. The red card was flashed at a dejected Dengra and Sargossa were down to ten with the clock still shy of three minutes. Augustin Vladimirescu buried the resultant spot kick and Twicetagria were in front. Almost as dejected was Diego Cazalla as he trudged off the pitch, to be replaced by central defender Hugo Galán. Esteban Pomar moved up to partner César Goyoso in the centre of a more conventional midfield four, with Juan Sebastián Varela pushed out to cover the gap left by Cazalla on the right as the side pulled themselves into a 4-4-1 formation.

A man down the Corsairs were forced onto the offensive but up front Mateo Manzanares was ploughing a lonely furrow as the makeshift midfield struggled to support him. He was heavily outnumbered and played himself into trouble when making a run at the well marshalled Twicetagria defence. He was robbed by Stormy Martins who immediately found Tina Kinavrei in the centre. What followed was a well drilled passing move right through the middle that ended with Aidor poking a beautifully weighted pass from Davidov Rominevskiy underneath the onrushing Martínez. When Daniil Vasiliev powered home a header just after the half hour market the defensive minded Twicetagria were three goals to the good and absolutely cruising.

After perhaps the most miserable forty five minutes under his management coach McAllister would probably have liked to replace the entire eleven at the interval. He settled for two. Édgar Elvira replaced Varela on the right and Manzanares’ personal misery was ended early as he was hauled off in favour of the much more physical presence of Mauricio Sainz. There was an inevitable element of hoof it to the big fella at play and it did produce a result. A freekick swung into the box from out wide saw Sainz cause chaos. His knockdown was carefully dispatched into the bottom corner by the veteran Goyoso. The goal spurred something of a revival in McAllister’s charges and Esteban Leguizamo stung the palms of Rudolph Haniet with a fierce drive from distance. When Sainz headed narrowly wide the fans began to dream of a shock fightback. Until another inception just inside the Twicetagria half sprung another of their textbook counters which was once again clinically finished by Aidor.

Haniet gave Sargossa a second glimmer of hope when he allowed Goyoso’s twenty yard freekick to sneak in at his near post. But this highly organised side from Atlantian Oceania weren’t about to let these three points slip away. In fact it got even better for the Lieutenants when they took full advantage of tiring Sargossan legs to release Eli Apollon down the flank. The cross was an absolute peach and Vladimirescu was only too happy to finish the move with aplomb. The abject Sargossan performance was completed when Pomar received a second yellow for a petulant foul on Apollon, leaving the side with just nine men. The final few minutes became little more than a training session and Twicetagria were able to take full advantage of the acres of space afforded them by adding a sixth, Aidor capping a wonderful personal display with a hattrick.

That result, coupled with Busoga Islands’ win over Mapletish in the other fixture, has left Group P with a very simple set of equations. Twicetagria are safely through to the last thirty two, Mapletish are eliminated. They face each over in the final round of matches in what is a dead rubber. Sargossa take on the Busoga Islands in what is now a must win encounter. Beat the Islanders at the Cassgo Stadium and the Corsairs will remain in this contest. Lose or draw and it’s an early plane home for a side that reached the final four of the previous tournament. Seems like an awfully long time ago now.

[Juvencus]

Matchday two of the Cup of Harmony was against Flavovespia, the highest seeds of the group. De Casio sent his men on to the pitch in hopes of maybe clinging on to their first 3 points. In the end he decided against putting young Campana in the front lines for the game, seeing its importance for the gli attaccanti's spot in the tournament.

"Let's hope this shit works, I didn't change anything, I'm going against council orders and against my promise on young Campana, just hope it works out, or else I'm fucked." were De Casio's thoughts, while the team was entering the pitch, maybe with a sense of unfounded nervousness and unwanted agitation, as if Ares had hit all of them with the wand of war. For the most part, a very balanced game for both started as they started off playing their own thing, or at least they attempted to, gli attaccanti seemed to be out of place in the frontline with Silvestri being caught off-position a lot of times, adding up to the young man's frustration, maybe De Casio's included, his life is one the line in this competition after all, he decided to puff up a cigarette in a distance from his players, observing the game in a squat position.

The Flavovespians were thinking of organising an attack, but their attempts to even get into the box were being cut off gloriously by a very well performing backside, especially Callejon, who seemed to be running up and down the pitch to cover up the Flavovespian's tracks. Steven Hall was a man to probably not give a damn about the Juven side's defensive positioning, a well-placed shot and the ball had finessed on probably a perfect trajectory to get in. The whole nation and especially the team present on the pitch froze in anticipation as time slowed down and so did the ball's trajectory, Bulgari leapt towards the side of the ball, which would've gone in regardless if crossbars weren't present, sending shockwaves across the entire stadium.

"CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL!" screamed Bulgari from the ground, as Bassi sprinted towards the ball and sent it away towards safety. De Casio on the sidelines sighed in relief as he took yet another puff of his trademark cigarette. He had started to sweat watching his players, and it made sense especially after a chance like that. The Flavovespians had sent their message. There was something that could probably be considered a counter to that, Russo won the aerial battle and sent the ball to Nespoli, and with a quick tap of the ball managed to find Martell, who shot the ball wide, not worrying an Aarif Muhammad who was strongly in form. De Casio's eyes lit up for a second, only to get back in his typical as of late anxious state. The first half ended with the goals in tact, thankfully. De Casio knew that he had to slap some sense into his players if he wanted Juvencus to win this game and he had to tell them quick.

He quickly took the lead.

"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!" was his initial calling, he repeated it "EVERYBODY SIT THE HELL DOWN!" the last few standing players finally sat down, everyone's eyes were on Mauro. He took a puff of his cigarette and proceeded with his speech.

"Listen up! These players are out to get our blood, we cannot let them get away with the win here. We want it more than them and we want it more than anyone. You have to understand that. Excellent positioning so far Bassi, Callejon and Ibarra, thanks to your efforts they haven't managed to come towards our territory all that well. However, Silvestri, for the love of FUCKING GOD, watch the game and position accordingly, you can do better than that. Wake the fuck up. We're going into the pitch and we are out for their blood now, instead of them, you understand me all?"

"SI, SI, CAPITAN!" screamed the entire team as they headed back to the pitch. It was a fast talk, but 'maybe it should get the message across' thought De Casio, more hopeful this time.

However entering into the second half, all this hopefulness was gone in the blink of an eye. That same, perhaps even boring rhythm of play ensued very early on, no chances created, but passion certainly did ignite as the half went on. And ignition did go off real good, in the form of a very dodgy challenge when Martell faced off against Blythe on the left wing, Martell tried to use his speed to get past him but his tackle found both the ball as well as him and he was flung very far off in what ignited a reaction from the Juven side of the crowd. Blythe was lucky to not see a red card for this challenge, but maybe his sportsmanship shone as he approached to give a helping hand to Martell.

"You ok?" he asked Martell.

a quick and possibly cold "Ye." followed from Martell as he stood up.

This challenge was enough to incite some anger to the rest of the team too, but they decided not to gather up around the referee like a bunch of ants over food to bring back to their hive. This was not meant to be the last of those...

The clock ticked and the minutes passed, Extberria elegantly dribbled through the right side of the goal and with a fine cross was meant to find Silvestri, however he crashed onto Muhammad real hard, which was the breaking point. Silvestri picked up his own weight real fast and headed towards the Flavovespian keeper with anger burning in his eyes.

"The fuck do you think you're doing you piece of shit? Is that how you keep on your side of the multiverse? Pathetic."

"Why don't you shut your mouth and move on with the game?" responded Muhammad, Silvestri was ready to give him a push but Tony Gardner and Alexander May quickly gathered up around him and tried to calm him down.

"It's all part of the game man, relax. It's all good, let's move on, this isn't a behavior that should be allowed on the pitch, you know that," said Gardner

"Did you see how your keeper dove onto me? Why would I trust someone dressed in a wasp costume?" expertly replied Silvestri, in what was probably a bit of a racist remark, thankfully the referee didn't hear about it. May was quick to comment on it though saying

"Yea and you look short, get back to the fucking game and learn how to behave."

Silvestri fumed but decided against it, as it would turn into carnage. A lot of players from both sides had gathered up around the scene, eventually all it took to get Silvestri to calm down was Ibarra who pushed him back into place so that the game would proceed without any issues. However the rest of the players were still arguing over the matter, eventually the referee dispersed everyone and the play resumed. However the blood had just started to boil and maybe that was enough of a reason for both sides to play a bit of a more exciting style of football, more open and comfortable. The gli attaccanti decided to put on its elegant cloak on, a very a smart Martell effort from the side saw him getting past Blythe with a roulette and finding himself some open space from the left, however the rest of the Flavovespian defence was enough to cover it up and his shot was headed wide.

A few minutes and a few successful long balls that had no actual follow up passed by, and as the end of the game approached, so did De Casio feel that his end was near. Loads of efforts and no fruit to bear and he knew damn well that the council would be on his neck after the game for yet another time. He also wasn't happy with how the Flavovespians seemed to play, not caring if they fouled or even got carded, which he found pretty stupid for a side so high up the mulitversal rankings. Steven Hall had developed a sort of not giving a hell reputation among the backline, but maybe Callejon took it too literally by taking him down late, to which Steven Hall replied to by jumping up quick and heading towards the young man's direction.

"This isn't a wrestling ring, kid, watch what the fuck you're doing, you hear me?"

"Or else what?" replied Callejon, with a big arrogant smirk on his face, this remark enraged Hall but he decided not to act on it. However he was all up on him and it was like a staring of two lions, luckily it didn't end up in a fight as both of them returned to place. Soon after, the final whistle blew. Handshakes followed, the players on the pitch reluctantly followed through, even Callejon and Silvestri decided not to refuse a handshake as to not illicity any negative reactions, they were certainly not happy with the result and especially not happy with how the Flavovespians had played. Back on the bench De Casio was in denial but he had to keep his cool as he approached Alan Young while heading towards the tunnel. A brief handshake followed, with De Casio initiating so as to keep himself strong

"Good game, good luck on to the next ones."

"Good game." was Alan Young's response. And shortly after that, a phone call followed...

"Mister De Casio?"

"Yes?"

"We have to talk."

[Krytenia]

Labour Of Lava
By Rami Niblick in Ballina, Northwest Kalactin

SOMEBODY fetch the jumpleads. After a failure to launch to the SRS, the Dragons did at least manage to notch the full compliment of points in their second game against Transvolcanic. It was far from the most comfortable victory though, as Krytenia continued their defence of the Cup of Harmony title in rather underwhelming fashion.

Paul Davis kept faith in the eleven that started the match against the Confederacy, and to be fair to the national team manager, it seemed to balance well against their opponents' tactics. That being said, Transvolcanic clearly were not in awe of their opponents, and started the game on the front foot. Ruben Casquillo, the Cats' energetic midfielder, was the lynchpin in the centre of the park. Indeed, the teenager's performance was reminiscent of opposite number Cormac O'Neill in his younger days. Walter San Marcos and Andrés Vassi both had chances to score in the opening ten minutes; San Marcos, though, pulled his shot wide, whilst a few minutes later Vassi got played through by Phil Van de Nainssen only to put his shot too close to Damien Carpenter.

After surviving that initial onslaught, Krytenia began to find their legs in the game and created a few chances of their own. Neil Smith shot narrowly over on fourteen minutes, before a fine save from Pablo Colín denied Alun Belmwr a goal. The resulting corner, however, did see Krytenia take the lead. Ben Foyle's in-swinger was flicked on by Ross Okano, and Joe Bielsa ghosted in at the edge of the six-yard box to head home. Certainly, the Transvolcanic defence committing the cardinal sin of not putting a man on the post came back to haunt them.

As the first half progressed, the frenetic early pace calmed down somewhat as the two teams settled into a sort of holding pattern. Okano resumed his advanced position from the SRS game, acting as the footballing equivalent of a free safety to reduce the space available to Casquillo and Van de Nainssen. This resulted in the Cats struggling to find space to test the back three; unfortunately for the Dragons, they found it hard to break down a disciplined Transvolcanic side comfortable to strangulate O'Neill and leave the front three stranded.

The trend continued in the second half, but with Transvolcanic still looking dangerous and likely to find a good chance sooner or later, Davis decided to switch things up. Off came the mostly static Curtis Sunday, to be replaced by Andrew Carsetti, with Neil Smith playing in a more withdrawn role to assist O'Neill in the middle of the park. The momentum slowly swung Krytenia's way, with the opposition defence looking ever more stretched. It was to be the substitute who benefitted the most, with Bielsa asking questions of Bartolo Medina, creating space to cross the ball in for Carsetti to win the header and double Krytenia's lead.

If you thought that this meant Krytenia were home and dried, think again. With the three points looking secure, the Dragons simply switched off after the goal, allowing the Cats back into things. They were duly punished when Transvolcanic sub Marien Poszcesz lofted an over-the-shoulder ball to Vassi, who beat Sinton for pace, controlled the ball well, and slotted past Carpenter to put the team in blue and white back in the game.

Krytenia suddenly found themselves on the back foot, and would find themselves down to ten men late in the game. Okano's challenge on Ignacy Volodov was clumsy more than anything else, but was deemed to have prevented a goalscoring opportunity, and the 1830 Cathair defender was shown the red card for his troubles. With the match entering stoppage time, Vassi had the opportunity to level the game from the spot; his penalty, though, was overhit, blazing clear of the crossbar and earning the Dragons a reprieve they perhaps did not deserve for falling asleep in the last ten minutes.

All this means the last group game, against Lorrana, is even more crucial. Vassi's goal means it's Lorrana who have the whip hand on goal difference; Krytenia have to win to go through, nothing else is good enough. Hopefully, Davis' men have now shaken off the last of the cobwebs and will record the win the world rankings say is theirs for the taking. Onward!

TRANSVOLCANIC - 1
Vassi 81

KRYTENIA - 2
Bielsa 17
Carsetti 79

[Ibixa]

The Next Step?

Ibixa's recent defeat to Mriin, combined with their mediocre displays in the World Cup qualifying, are proof that Les Gaseles still have some way to go before they are taken seriously in international football. Things may be about to change, though.

The Federació Ivixe de Futbol have today announced that a professional football league will be set up in the Second Protectorate, with play expected to start after the next AOCAF Cup tournament. Tenders have been put out to interested parties, with an expected ten teams participating in the inaugural season.

None of the team identities or locations have been formally announced, however it is expected that at least two of the teams will be based in Altoro, with Ciutat de Capricorn, Sant Francesc, Gres Vermell, and Barcabra all expected to have at least one team apiece. Further announcements are expected in due course; sadly, these developments are too late to improve Ibixa's chances in their final group game against Huayramarca, a match the team is widely expected to lose despite holding their opponents to a 2-2 draw in qualifying.

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana|EN
Sport | Football
Cup of Harmony 79

A VITAL VICTORY
Mytanija 0-2 New Lusitania
@The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs Harbour, Northwest Kalactin (Att: 60 720)

The familiar archways of the Harbour Coliseum would see the Selecção again in Matchday Two, with the teatime game. Both sides would be looking for redemption in Matchday Two, the match being against Mytanija who too had lost, in this case against Tumbra in the opening games. One or two changes for the Selecção ahead of the second match – Patríce returned to goal and Leiteiro was in central defence due to Ferradura’s red card against Graentfjall, with Pedro Caldeirão replacing an unwell Veiga.
Another day of sweltering heat was now coming to its end as the match went underway in Coffs Harbour. Although both teams were, once again, strong off the start, it was visible that in the Lusitanian operation, things were looking better, and the team had a stronger footing. Mytanija had brought some firepower with them too, though and Patríce did not have an easy game right from the beginning, Ocokoljic having a good chance in the fifteenth minute which had to be palmed away for an eventually unsuccessful corner. The first half in general though, wasn’t particularly exciting and didn’t bring any goals, leaving it all to be done in the closing forty-five.
The first goal came relatively early in that second half, Caldeirão had a great chance but the keeper managed to save the early first attempt with Jota there to pick up the scraps and 1-0 it was. Miguel Pereira had his debut for the Selecção when Silveira came off on the sixty-third minute, meaning about a good half-hour of football, which demonstrated some good ability by the new youngster. He came very close to goal but had to be happy with the second one’s assist, the goal going to the one who almost did the first one as Caldeirão leapt to get the header in brilliantly. The two goals were enough to secure a good victory by New Lusitania and kept them in the running for progression in the competition – and what better way to settle it all for fans than in a direct confrontation in the final match? Yes, Graentfjall’s win in a 5-4 thriller later that evening meant they secured qualification but for Tumbra and the Selecção, it’s all or nothing in the third matchday of the group stage.
So far, the Snow Wolves and another six nations have qualified – Group B is wrapped up with the qualifications of Mavient and Newmanistan with Eura and the S.R.S. in Northwest Kalactin as well as Saint-Domingue and HUElavia in the Cassadaigua groups. With one extra round, several teams have discussed the prolonged effects of a larger Cup of Harmony, but most seem to favour these more traditional groups, the fans love it and the hosts like the prospect of having their own mini World Cup before one cedes to another the absolute final. For now though, everyone is focused in carrying over to the Round of Thirty-Two and Tumbra seem to what they call a tough cookie with Grilo mentioning that “some caution is obvious, we have that in all games, but Tumbra have really gotten some good football going so we’ll have to be at the top of our game to qualify”. Courage New Lusitânia…

[The Gothanita Isles]

Tequilo 5-4 TGI
Lineup for TGI (4-2-3-1): Thulile Bolkvadze (c); Ayokunle Christian, Abu Bakr Ekmekçi (Den Benjaminson 64'), Saif al-Din Kartal, Charlee Harel; Chloe Brewster, Remus McQueen (Sardar Chaplin 52'); Grigorii McCrory (Marino Barros 70'), Ladislava Tyler, Cyneburga London; Abdelkader Kartal
Cards: Ayokunle Christian, Remus McQueen, Grigorii McCrory | Huachalla
Abu Bakr Ekmekçi 46' (yellow); Charlee Harel 60' (yellow)
Goals: Ladislava Tyler 8' , 25', 34'; Abdelkader Kartal 57'
Niño Pinto 21'; Alexandro Calvoecheaga 36', 80'; Tlacolotl 40' (pen.); Vilca Hualla 61'

In the end, outclassed on the pitch, Zahi Castillas' men and women couldn't save their Cup of Harmony campaign as they fell to a 5-4 defeat to Tequilo. With Chartisan also losing to Mercedini in the other game, that confirms that the Yellow Lions will be returning home after their dead-rubber against Chartisan, who were also eliminated following their loss.

"Something tells me," begun Castillas, "that the players need more development. The players should be willing to go overseas for more exposure. Maybe our league needs some shake up."
"Finally, our coach is with us!" said Abdelkader Kartal, looking at his fellow teammates. "We have always been complaining within the team, that the GIFC is refusing to remove the conference playoff format and instead adopt something else. Just look at Poafmersia's 6th tier. Except for the brutal promotion and relegation numbers, I think splitting into the championship zone and the relegation zone does more wonders. Use a smaller top tier. Put the best of each association together. Maybe have something like 16 teams? We can definitely afford to have 16 teams, in all honesty."
"I think the problem is that you all need the time to work with each other. Maybe not just playing with each other. Playing against too. What is the point of the once-a-year playoffs where you don't face every strong team from the other conference? I rather have a seperate format that also involves 32 matchdays or so. Just give me 18 teams in the top tier. I am very fine with it."
"Hopefully coach can help us write that letter," said Cyneburga London. "I have led the proposal so many times, but the GIFC doesn't have the motivation to do so. Meanwhile, in less than 10 years, your country has turned from having no national football league to being a consistent top 32 association, enough to establish now 7 tiers of football at the national level, and ensuring top quality football at the international level."
"Certainly, I can help you all do better. I don't know if I am able to be the voice though, if the board decides that my time is up..."
"Why would they think so? They should be grateful for ensuring that the team pulled off such a nice qualification season. This cup, maybe we weren't in our tip top performance..." begun Tyler.
Castillas stopped Tyler mid-sentence. "No, you guys did well. It is just that maybe we were a bit unlucky, and had little time to gather with each other." He paused. "I will help you all with the proposal I guess."

Zahi Castillas was thinking of the conversation last night. "Can I actually pull it off?" he asked himself. Even though the GIFC promised him lots of powers in order to ensure that the team gets somewhere good, he wasn't sure about this particular proposal. Making football in TGI like Poafmersia isn't the best thing to do, and he knows it himself. "Football in Poafmersia is a much larger sport...then in TGI, right?" he asked himself. "What then, is the benefits of scrapping the conference versus keeping the conference?" There are, unfortunately, many historical meanings to the system.

A bit of history. Back when the conference system with promotion and relegation was proposed, it was built on top of the system then, which involved 1 national division with just around 20 professional teams. It was expanding to 24 teams. Then 28. Then a whole lot. To ensure balanced numbers, the conference was proposed and adpoted. Then again, no one thought it was an issue, because when regional club competitions became a thing, the system made sense. More than 4 teams from Otksarin in the top tier. More than 4 teams from Hallikshire in the top tier. And yet, a maximum of 32 games in a season. Yes, a championship round-robin may work too. But does that seem familiar? Poafmersian Champions' Cup?

Zahi knows the debate will be tough. In his heart, he knows the reason why he should be fighting for an outright single top division. In his brain, he knows the battle is tough.

[Cassadaigua]

Cup of Harmony 79- Matchday 3, Groups A-H

Group A
Indusse 0–3 Northwest Kalactin
Frestovenia 0–3 Valladares

Group A                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valladares                       3   3  0  0   11   3  +8    9 Q
2 Northwest Kalactin               3   2  0  1    9   4  +5    6 Q
3 Frestovenia                      3   1  0  2    5  10  −5    3
4 Indusse                          3   0  0  3    4  12  −8    0

Group B
Sharktail 2–2 Garbelia
Mavinet 2–3 Newmanistan

Group B                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Newmanistan                      3   3  0  0   10   4  +6    9 Q
2 Mavinet                          3   2  0  1   11   6  +5    6 Q
3 Sharktail                        3   0  1  2    4   7  −3    1
4 Garbelia                         3   0  1  2    5  13  −8    1

Group C
Graintfjall 1–0 Mytanija
New Lusitania 4–1 Tumbra

Group C                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Graintfjall                      3   3  0  0   10   6  +4    9 Q
2 New Lusitania                    3   2  0  1    8   5  +3    6 Q
3 Tumbra                           3   1  0  2    6   9  −3    3
4 Mytanija                         3   0  0  3    0   4  −4    0

Group D
Pluvia and the Saxean Isles 2–4 Yuezhou
TJUN-ia 3–1 Sylestone

Group D                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                          3   1  2  0    6   4  +2    5 Q
2 Yuezhou                          3   1  2  0    5   3  +2    5 Q
3 Sylestone                        3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
4 Pluvia and the Saxean Isles      3   0  1  2    4   8  −4    1

*- TJUN-ia over Yuezhou on Goals For. (H2H even, overall GD even)

Group E
Eura 5–3 Hapilopper
Kohnhead 4–0 Baggieland

Group E                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eura                             3   3  0  0   10   6  +4    9 Q
2 Kohnhead                         3   2  0  1    8   3  +5    6 Q
3 Hapilopper                       3   0  1  2    6  10  −4    1
4 Baggieland                       3   0  1  2    4   9  −5    1

Group F
Chartistan 4–2 The Gothanita Isles
Tequilo 4–5 Mercedini

Group F                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mercedini                        3   3  0  0   12   6  +6    9 Q
2 Tequilo                          3   2  0  1   10   9  +1    6 Q
3 Chartistan                       3   1  0  2    6   7  −1    3
4 The Gothanita Isles              3   0  0  3    6  12  −6    0

Group G
Squornshelan Remnant States 5–0 Transvolcanic
Krytenia 4–1 Lorrana

Group G                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Squornshelan Remnant States      3   3  0  0    8   1  +7    9 Q
2 Krytenia                         3   2  0  1    6   3  +3    6 Q
3 Lorrana                          3   1  0  2    4   6  −2    3
4 Transvolcanic                    3   0  0  3    1   9  −8    0

Group H
Murphtannia 0–1 Flavovespia
Juvencus 1–0 Blouman Empire

Group H                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Juvencus                         3   1  2  0    2   1  +1    5 Q
2 Blouman Empire                   3   1  1  1    5   4  +1    4 Q
3 Flavovespia                      3   1  1  1    1   2  −1    4
4 Murphtannia                      3   0  2  1    4   5  −1    2

*- Blouman Empire over Flavovespia due to H2H result.


Round of 32:

Valladares vs Mavinet @ Gold Coast International Stadium, Gold Coast

Graintfjall vs Yuezhou @ The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs

Eura vs Tequilo @ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey

Squornshelan Remnant States vs Blouman Empire @ Ballina Stadium, Ballina

Newmanistan vs Northwest Kalactin @ Gold Coast International Stadium, Gold Coast

TJUN-ia vs New Lusitania @ The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs

Mercedini vs Kohnhead @ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey

Juvencus vs Krytenia @ Ballina Stadium, Ballina

[Eura]

Continued from here.

Life in the Seventh Star

Part Eleven

Arabella led Mateo by the hand into the massive crowd marching on the Dellaro. The closer they got, the more they could smell the burning of flares and fires set by the protestors – and yet neither of them seemed conscious of the danger they were putting themselves in. The pair were hemmed in between an increasingly dense crowd on Palla Avenue, a wide boulevard that ran past the stadium a few hundred metres on from their position. Neither of them could see past the mix of the crowd, smoke and lights of the buildings lining the avenue. ‘Matty, let me get on your shoulders so we can see what’s going on.’
‘I know what’s going on’, he said excitedly, ‘it’s the “Save the Dellaro” march. I’d forgotten it was today.’
‘The what now?’
‘Just look.’ He crouched and allowed her to spring up onto his shoulders, and get a better look at what was going on further ahead.

She hung there for a moment without saying anything. ‘Hey, what do you see up there? I’m not sure how long I can hold you.’ She jumped back down without a word, looking pale as a sheet. ‘I think we should go.’
‘Wait, what? But they’re marching to protest the stadium being closed. Don’t you want to see it?’
‘No, just…’
‘What?’
‘I don’t want to explain. Can we just go?’
‘Hey!’ They both turned to see Mateo’s sister Natalie, her boyfriend Prisco in tow. ‘Matty, what are you doing here? Mum told you to be home at a decent time.’
‘We were-‘
‘Leaving. We were leaving.’ Arabella’s voice had gone rather cold. ‘Matty, please. I don’t want to stay here. I’m worried this is going to get ugly and I don’t want to be here when it does.’

Mateo had a choice. Did he stay with Arabella, or join the march? Prisco swaggered over, making Mateo stand up straight. He’d always looked up slightly to the older boy. ‘Matty, your sister is right. Go home.’ Then again, he also liked to stand up to him to prove he was a man. ‘I don’t want to. I’m going to stay.’ Arabella glowered at him and stepped away, letting go of his hand. ‘Matty, I don’t want to be here, I’m sorry. I’m going home.’
‘Bella…Bella, wait!’ He watched her melt away into the crowd, going back in the direction they came from. A moment later he felt the reassuring palm of his sister on his shoulder – no, not his sister. It was Prisco. ‘You know Matty, maybe we’re underestimating you. Good on you for putting the cause before any other distractions.’
‘Cause, what cause?’
‘The cause. Getting our stadium back.’
‘And maybe our country’ muttered Natalie under her breath, drowned out by the crowd noise. Mateo quickly brightened up at the idea of being able to join the march at the last minute at Prisco and Natalie’s start.

‘I want to help. I can stay then?’
‘No,’ protested Natalie with a sisterly push in his ribs, ‘absolutely fucking not. Go home turd.’
‘Natalie, come on now, you brother wants to help us.’
‘Help us? He’s just a kid, he isn’t coming.’
‘And how old were you when you started getting involved in activism?’
‘Uh…’ She hesitated long enough for Prisco to answer for her. ‘Fourteen. You were fourteen. Mateo is sixteen.’
‘…fine.’
‘Great. Ok Matty, here’s your task.’ Prisco took a small backpack off his back, and handed it over to Mateo. ‘See the thing is, you’re kind of short, and young. So you’re kind of low key, yeah? You won’t get spotted.’
‘By who?’
‘Don’t worry about that. Just stick with us, and do exactly as we say.’

[Mriin]

Context RP

---

On the shores of Pirate Atoll, as the "tourists" and their guide pull into a makeshift jetty...

"And we're here!" Janalai exclaimed as they hopped ashore. "I know y'all were just getting your sealegs—"

"gods that was the longest three hours of my life" seethed Jezebel, under her breath.

"—but we've got so much adventure awaiting us yet! Or so the pamphlet says. Y'all know the schtick. Come along, and watch your step."

The motley crew followed the short but rough-hewn path up to the highest point of the rock-that-could-generously-be-called-an-island. Don looked around, noting that he could probably chuck a rock in any direction and have it land in the ocean. "So where is it? This place is as barren as a Krytenian's trophy cabinet."

"Aha-ha! It wouldn't be a very good hideaway if you could just spot it in the open, now would it?" With a sweep of their hoof and a half-hearted flourish, Janalai revealed a trap door was nominally hidden by a light smattering of loose dirt. "Be careful climbing down; it'll be a bit of a tight fit for a dragon."

"Trust me," Don snorted, "I've dealt with worse."

The four carefully made their way down to the main chamber. In reality it was basically just two small rooms carved into the stone with a bunch of cheap pirate-themed knickknacks strewn about; their average tour took about ten minutes to take in all the sights between the six hour round-trip boat ride. The guide autopiloted through their spiel as they'd done so many times in the past. But as soon as they went through the doorway into the second room, they were interrupted by a loud thunk.

"Hey, what was that? Did y'all knock something down?" Janalai turned around and looked through the doorway, where... nobody was in the room. "..where did y'all go?!"

They ventured back into the first room, glancing up the ladder. No, there's no way all three of them clambered back up there so quickly. And it didn't sound like the trap door slamming shut. But... there's nowhere else to go! "Seriously y'all, if this is some kind of prank please stop. I can't be on the hook for liability if you found a way to get lost on a rock that's like half a square kilometer."

Unbeknownst to their guide, the trio of ex-MNL executives had pulled a large replica skull-and-crossbones flag away from the wall and pressed a discreet button to reveal a hidden passage. Carefully making sure the flag laid out cleanly behind them, a pull of a lever clanked the passage back shut. It was the last anyone would see of Don, Jezebel, or Vicky—at least under those names, and with those faces.

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

Daniil Vasiliev: Valentine's Reject
I was getting ready to meet my colleague. I was 23 at that time, and had a bag full of chocolates and sweets perfect for a Valentine's date. I don't know why I was getting all worked up over this. Stay calm, take a deep breath, relax. I reminded myself. I shouldn't get too excited, in fear I screw my chance up. My heart was full of positive feelings, feelings for when she'd accept my sweet offer. No pun intended. I was literally fantasizing over the fun we'd have at the boardwalk, looking at the beautiful skyline as we munch on our tasty chocolates.

I paced around the office corridor. "She should be here by now" I thought. She was running late by 2 minutes. I anxiously looked at my watch, hoping she hadn't forgotten. The worst case scenario was that she already had a Valentine's date, but I didn't see anyone who'd seem like they'd matched up with her. She was just beautiful. No words can explain how magnificent this girl looked even in the worst of clothing. She was perfect. She'd been awfully kind to me since I met her in elementary school. She didn't exude all that positive vibe when she was with anyone else, except me. She WAS the one. Or, at least I hoped she was...

She hurriedly ran out of the lift and saw me with a bag. She looked worriedly anxious, like when you realise you're super late for an event. It showed in her face.

"Sorry I was late, I'm leaving with my boyfriend soon and I don't have enough time," she explained while breathing in deeply. I was struck numb. She... she had one already? How didn't I know? Then I remembered. She was squealing to me when she told me that she was engaged. How could I forget? I angrily thought. My face turned from a gleaming smile to a moody frown. Still, I managed to blabber, "Y-you already have one...?"

She looked a bit confused, but then took a glance of my outfit and the paper bag, and her face became a bit guilty, but empathetic.

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry for not being able to be your Valentine's today..." she paused for a while, before continuing, "Look, you were and still are one of my greatest friends in the world. You mean so much to me. I love you as a friend, get it?" I tried not to cry. I was a man after all. I didn't know whether to feel disappointed or angry. On one hand, I felt she'd party-pooped whatever plans I had. Maybe she doesn't like me. But then again, she seemed genuine.

"Y-yeah, it's ok. Please don't get angry at me," I meekly told her. She just smiled and said, "I won't." Her smile was one of the most beautiful in the world, but at that moment I just couldn't capture it. When she'd left, I looked out the window. Numerous shops were celebrating this day of romance and love, and yet I was still single. I was broken. I may not recover, but it's still okay. I was always meant to be single anyway. I walked away, head hanging down, disappointed. I made myself look like a jerk there, didn't I? Was I one anyway? I didn't know. All I knew was that I would never find love ever again.

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Pt 4/≥5

---

“Yep, I’ll do my best, sir” Bogdan said confidently, nodding his had. His coach smiled “Good. You’ll have a good game out there. Slayed these dragon before, yeah?” Bogdan shook coach’s hand, and walked away. Barto came around the corner. “Already talked to him about Heiden.” Bogdan decided to stay behind the corner, getting his phone out, listening to the conversation. “I had something else to talk to you about,” Barto told his coach, “I’ve been wondering what I’m doing here. I don’t want to mope, but I don’t think I belong here.” there was silence. “You were the captain, and you’re a backup now. You know, giving up a big role like that voluntarily shows a lot of character,” coach’s words made Barto scoff and nervously laugh, “I didn’t have any other choice.” “That’s because you’re the kind of man who can only take the best option when it counts. These guys needs sprits like that to hold them together. The whisper campaign about the crazy bus didn’t do the place justice. You’ve worked well to keep the team running.” “Not well enough. We didn’t make it, again. But you kept the older horse around.” “I have my reasons. Now, get geared up, I might need you today.” Barto said nothing, though Rawić imagined a smile was on his former captain’s face. Said man walked around the corner, giving Rawić a glare.

The game came, and both side were stuck early. Rawić couldn’t find any opportunities in the first half. It took eleven men to tango, and Wukowić was able to hold every shot back, gosh was it tough. Coach wasn’t looking worried though, “Alright! Man, I say that a lot -- Alright! You’re all doing great,” Coach said, “This isn’t a bum team, and you’re holding them down. For the most part, pick off where you were. I do need an improvement though. Losing twice and we’re out just as we landed here. I don’t want to happen to any of you. Let’s show them what we’re made of, yeah?” A few heads nodded. “Zlatko, you’re holding the line as hard as possible. If things are this rocky, I’m going to need to change up the back line, I’m looking out for the score. We don’t need to fall behind here. Up font, I want you boys, and girl, to get in harder. Rawić!” Bogdan’s head tilted up, “Keep sharp, you got some good chances. I need that had in the game, alright?” Bogdan nodded, Popowić putting a fist into her palm.

On the field, Rawić was red in the face. He hadn’t been doing the best this game, or this tournament. One pass went his way, at least it was supposed to. Bogdan grunted. “Come on!” Rawić, he looked back. That was Jad’s last chance, off he went. A little lady Popowić in Jad’s place. Her lips were pink on top, black bellow. Some obvious red, or pink, meat for Dagans. Rawić rolled his eyes, seeing her on the big screen like that. Her exuberance and gentle wave to the crowd was refreshing. Play continued on, the little Rekan man continuing to bide his time. Still, nothing. Another swap came, it was Barto. “C’mon cap…’” Bogdan said. The old man started things off well enough, clipping an attacker’s legs. Heir Åubreħtssen was heir auber-losing, or some such pun. Th ball got stuck in the middle, and it did again and so many more times, Rawić could hardly count. “One point’s not enough!” Coach said audibly. The tension in the air was thick and heavy, like the musk of the dead. “Go! Now!” It was Stani running with the ball, he booted it forward, high into the air it went. Rawić’s mind would’ve thought a center back fired the ball out, and one had to Gröss, but Bogdan didn’t know that yet. The ball kept going, Bogdan’s training and instincts kicked in. It hit Bergmann’s head, then it hit the goalie’s leg, but Bogdan’s boot was there. Noise and stress defend Rawić for a moment, but it didn't matter, he'd scored!

The shining Rekan star looked back. There stood his old captain wiping his brow. Bogdan chuckled, and the rest of the night might as well have been a dream.

[Omerica]

|national football| |club football| |basketball| |rugby| |volleyball| |lacrosse| |tennis| |cycling| |golf|

---

Cup of Harmony 79 group stage: Squidroidia 3–5 Omerica
The Inklings get dumped out of the Cup of Harmony by the Incorrigibles, who claim the scalp of yet another manager this cycle

..........Squidroidia.
Itō 32’, 54’ ⚽
Toshikuni 42’ ⚽

.

.Omerica.............
⚽ Chrysanthos 21’, 61’
⚽ Fournier 25’
⚽ Ahmad 77’
⚽ al-Hashim 90’+2

3–5
Ferguson Stadium, Rutland, CDG

Rutland, Cassadaigua — The 87 Incorrigibles will go down in the history books as the “Manager Slayers” after a critical group stage victory over Squidroidia.

With Saint-Domingue securing their passage to the knockout stage with a victory over Hebitaka, the Inklings were fighting for their very survival at the tournament against the opponents they most relished facing. The OPSL-endorsed boycott of IAC 11 gave the match significant emotional resonance in Squidroidia, who were drawn to face Omerica before the Omerican Professional Footballers Association announced that they would not travel to Havynwilde out of fear for their safety. Squidroidia simply were not going to stand for losing, especially Ryūzaki Mito, whose job was on the line in the match.

The Inklings would be slightly disappointed insofar as Omerica—playing in the infamous rubbish bin strip—wouldn’t field a full first-choice line-up, with central defender Anna Charles suffering an unspecified injury in training and being replaced by Frédérique Marquetti. The sole change besides Charles was Valentine Augustin’s return to goal in place of Alexandra McGuire and her assumption of the captain’s armband. As for Squidroidia, nothing but their strongest XI decked in their blue change strip would do.

Squidroidia dominated early and the Inklings had the first opportunity: Augustin was left sweating mere minutes in, but Ohashi Kiichi sent their shot just wide of the net. Omerica’s first good chance came in the 21st minute, when Jamal Ahmad fed Alexis Chrysanthos through the side in the last prong of a classic Omerican counterattack, which the Saint-Christophe striker happily tapped into the net for the first goal of the game. But four minutes later, Takemoto Shingen was caught napping in goal, with Maxime Fournier quickly doubling Omerica’s advantage. Nevertheless, the Inklings would not stay down for long. Kiichi sent a long cross to young Shamrock winger Sho Itō, who narrowly beat Augustin at the post to halve the deficit.

The Inklings, needing at least a draw to stay in contention, launched an assault to get the crucial equaliser. Marquetti justified her inclusion by denying Makino Hideo in a one-on-one duel, but it would not take long for Squidroidia to be back. Left unmarked, Itō tried to bag their second goal of the afternoon, only for the ball to ricochet off the post and into the lap of Yoneda Toshikuni. Squidroidia and Omerica entered halftime deadlocked at 2–2, a result that would keep both teams alive and win Saint-Domingue the group, and it was at halftime that Alexis Stephanidis would make her first change: Justin Thyme, who was sitting on yellow after a rough challenge on Itō and left them unmarked in the buildup to the equaliser, was taken off in favour of Justin Thyme.

It didn’t appear to help. The Inklings quickly got running and Itō smashed Squidroidia into the lead within ten minutes of kickoff, but not before Jessie Beckett got a stern talking to—and a suspension from the final group match—from the referee for tugging on Toujou Shihei’s shirt. Squidroidia’s lead would not stand all of seven minutes, though, as Beckett fed Chrysanthos in through the left flank. Chrysanthos, catching Umezaki Moronobu and Muto Toki off guard and pouncing for the equaliser. Things were back to level terms, a precarious position for both sides.

Fearchar Mac Cléirich got himself into a bit of hot water when he downed Kabuto Tadataka outside the box, but Squidroidia’s free kick fizzled out into nothing. One after another, both sides would threaten the other, only for the attack to fail: a turnover, a save, a shot sent over the crossbar, a shot sent wide. So when Augustin sent a long goal kick to the Omerican front three, the crowd would have been forgiven for thinking that it would be yet another failed attack, but Chrysanthos quickly passed to an open Jamal Ahmad, who quickly got a shot off to put Omerica back in front. After another session of to-and-fro, the eighth and final goal of the match came in the added time and was very much reminiscent of the last goal of the first half: Jamal Ahmad found himself denied by the post, with Nadiya al-Hashim putting away the rebound.

Despite a valiant effort, Squidroidia had been denied. The Incorrigibles, disappointed by their failure to defeat to Hebitaka, had overcome the second seeds and were now one step closer to the knockout stage. “It’s a harsh game, it is,” Mac Cléirich told SFRD pitchside after the whistle. “They played their best out there today and didn’t deserve to lose. I think we got lucky at one or two points is all.”

State of play

Group L                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Saint-Domingue                 2   2  0  0    2   0  +2    6
2 Omerica                        2   1  1  0    6   4  +2    4
3 Hebitaka                       2   0  1  1    1   2  −1    1
4 Squidroidia                    2   0  0  2    3   6  −3    0

The result officially takes Squidroidia out of contention and, as a consequence, Ryūzaki Mito—who famously guided the Inklings to third-place finishes at both the Baptism of Fire and IAC X—joins Teofilo Koralski of Transvolcanic and Yuan Zilai of Yuezhou in the select club of managers the Incorrigibles have managed to get sacked this cycle. Stephanidis, who had already secured her position in the Incorrigibles dugout by pipping Equestria to second in World Cup qualifying, was quick to send a tribute to the Squidroidian: “Since he touched down in the United Republics for the IAC,” the Omerica manager stated in a twii, “I’ve admired Mr Mito’s character and his talent. International football will be a poorer place without him.”

Tongue-in-cheek entreaties for Omerica and
Saint-Domingue to play out a draw have gone viral on
Omerican social media.

Looking forward to Matchday 3, Omerica will face Saint-Domingue in the Cassadaiguan capital before Hebitaka face a now Mito-less Squidroidia. Allegations that the choice to not have simultaneous kickoff on matchday 3 creates an opportunity for shenanigans have buzzed on social media, but even with simultaneous kickoff, Omerica and Saint-Domingue already know that a draw sees both teams safely through. If Omerica lose, then the result of the Hebitaka–Squidroidia match becomes crucial, as Hebitaka must win and get a three-goal swing in differential to advance; if Hebitaka come up short, Omerica will be through as group runners-up.

Looking forward to the knockout stage, both teams that make it out of Group L will face opposition from Group K, where Saltstead are already confirmed in last place by virtue of head-to-head defeat to the losers of the group’s penultimate game. The runners-up of Group L will move on to face Bluecliff, who are already confirmed to be the winners of Group K, while the Group L winners will face the winners of the Kandorith v Zeta Reka fixture. As the Group L winners would also face a potential match against Group J winners Mriin in the last sixteen, second place looks like the ideal position to finish the group. As such, Saint-Domingue would have incentive to throw the match to Omerica to pave an easier road for themselves in the knockout stage by avoiding two top-thirty teams.

Stephanidis, for her part, is squashing rumours that Omerica will play for a draw. “We came here to win the Cup of Harmony,” the Omerica manager stated in the post-match press conference, “and you cannot be the best without beating the best.”

As for Anna Charles’s training injury, Stephanidis has confirmed that Charles will be ruled out of the Saint-Domingue game “out of an abundance of caution” and that Omerica medical lead Tahira Bousaid will be keeping a close eye on Charles. As such, Marquetti is likely to keep her place in the Omerica line-up, while Jean-François Fernand or Malcolm Beauchesne will replace the suspended Jessie Beckett. Beckett will be back for the knockout stage, should the Incorrigibles make it there, and the Incorrigibles will hope that Charles will be back as well.

Omerica close out the group stage against Saint-Domingue at the Dagan Airways Stadium in Concord Heights, with live coverage on SFRD Sport. ⚜️

---

For your reading pleasure
▶ The Estates General elect Casimir Paquet the 21st President of the United Republics: as it happened
▶ Cup of Harmony 79 group stage: Saint-Domingue 1–0 Hebitaka — full match report
▶ “That was a quake?”: life moves on in the Calaverdes after a 5.1 magnitude earthquake
▶ Profanity-laden rant gets a Heathmoorian morning news show temporarily taken off the air

---

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

---

Omerica v Saint-Domingue
Cup of Harmony 79 group stage — Matchday Three
Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights, Cassadaigua
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Antoine Vicario; Alphonse Notley, Frédérique Marquetti, Justin Thyme, Sacha Sepulveda (captain); Maxime Fournier, Fearchar Mac Cléirich, Nadiya al-Hashim; Malcolm Beauchesne, Alexis Chrysanthos, Jamal Ahmad
Substitutes: Valentine Augustin, Alexandra McGuire; Anna Charles (+), Jacques Laurent, Raphaël Martin, Felix Zanetti; Alphonse Fontaine, Paige Boyce, Christian Marts; Jean-François Fernand, Adélaïde Argyris

---

[Recuecn]

Samantha was more relieved than she would admit to see Reçueçn's victory over Gyatso-Kai. She pulled Rébecca to her in a tight hug, lifting her up off the ground and and carrying her up into the air, something she did much less often now that her daughter was six years old now - six, could you believe it!

"Papa did great, Mama!" Rébecca shared her mother's joy; indeed, her childlike delight in victory surely surpassed her mother's happiness in sheer glee. But the young girl had not picked up on the building anxiety in both of her parents, or at least had not consciously noticed it or attributed it, correctly, to the ÉNRF's declining performance. She did not, therefore, share the feeling of relief that washed over her mother when the final whistle sounded with Reçueçn up five goals to two.

For her part, Samantha felt almost ready to cry. Although Gerauld, as the team's moral compass, always put up a brave face and was never missing when one of his teammates needed support, at home it was clear to see that the trials the team was going through were taking their toll on him. He would come home from practice sessions quietly, ready to take a nap or go to bed early. Before, spending time with his teammates had given him energy and he had come home invigorated and ready for anything, always trying to drag Rébecca off on some afternoon adventure or spend the evening with Samantha, seducing his wife all over again. His constant chatter about how les licornes were faring and what his teammates were up to had mostly ceased, and when he mentioned them now, it was always in concerned tones. For Samantha, it was unbearable. Reçueçn had seen rough patches in the past, but never before had Gerauld let it affect him so deeply.

As little as Samantha wanted to rely on sporting results for her happiness, she hoped that a victory at long last would at least lighten the atmosphere at home. It was difficult for her to see Gerauld so anxious now when normally he dealt with stress fairly well. She knew it had to do with Tremblay's retirement: Gerauld felt that his performance reflected on his coach and it pained Tremblay's final legacy would be that of what was undeniably shaping up to be Reçueçn's weakest cycle in decades. Against what Samantha would have wished for, Gerauld carried that weight on his shoulders, much as he carried many of his teammates' problems as well.

Tonight, then, would hopefully be her chance, finally, to see her husband cheerful again. As the crowds of fans filed up through the bleachers and out of the stadium, Samantha hustled Rébecca down the stairs in the opposite direction. Showing her team spouse ID to the security guards, they went down into the tunnel, into the bowels of the stadium, trying to find where the team had gone. As they turned a corner, at the other end of a hallway they saw Gerauld walking toward them, with Franky and Emanuele on his heels. Franky was clearly over the moon with the result, talking at Gerauld a mile a minute.

"And did you see that second goal I had? I lofted it in perfectly, just past him, like swoosh. It was great. There was power on that, too," he added, holding his palm out upwards and striking it with his other palm for emphasis. "Ka-pow!"

Gerauld wasn't really listening. "Samantha!" he cried as he saw her turn the corner. They ran into each other's arms.

"And the birthday girl!" Gerauld reached down and rustled Rébecca's hair. "How was that!"

"That was great papa!" Rébecca cheered. "I loved it!"

"I can't believe you're six years old now!" Gerauld said, taking his daughter up into his arms as Samantha stepped out of his hug. "Are you ready to celebrate?"

"Yes!"

"Alright! Did you hear that, Franky!? Rébecca's going to come party with us!"

"Awesome!" Franky gave Rébecca a high-five. She was still wearing his jersey he'd given her last year, although it was getting a bit small now.

"Let's go!" said Emanuele, also excited.

The five of them trooped off to find the rest of the team. For one night, at least, they could take a break from worrying about the next game.

[Northwest Kalactin]

Cutoff for the final MD of Groups I-P, good luck, and may the odds be on your side!

Group I
Netop 2–2 Jeruselem
Xanneria 3–0 San Ortelio

  Group I                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Xanneria                       3   2  1  0    8   4  +4    7
2 San Ortelio                    3   1  1  1    5   7  −2    4
3 Jeruselem                      3   0  2  1    7   8  −1    2
4 Netop                          3   0  2  1    5   6  −1    2

Group J
Ibixa 2–2 Huayramarca
Garifunya 1–5 Mriin

  Group J                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mriin                          3   3  0  0   12   4  +8    9
2 Huayramarca                    3   1  1  1    3   3   0    4
3 Ibixa                          3   0  2  1    9  12  −3    2
4 Garifunya                      3   0  1  2    5  10  −5    1

Group K
Kandorith 2–2 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom
Saltstead 1–0 Bluecliff League

  Group K                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Bluecliff League               3   2  0  1    7   6  +1    6
2 Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom      3   1  1  1    7   7   0    4
3 Kandorith                      3   1  1  1    5   5   0    4
4 Saltstead                      3   1  0  2    2   3  −1    3

*Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom wins on GF

Group L
Omerica 7–4 Saint-Domingue
Hebitaka 2–0 Squidroidia

  Group L                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                        3   2  1  0   13   8  +5    7
2 Saint-Domingue                 3   2  0  1    6   7  −1    6
3 Hebitaka                       3   1  1  1    3   2  +1    4
4 Squidroidia                    3   0  0  3    3   8  −5    0

Group M
Darmen 4–2 Abanhfleft
Barunia 3–1 Wreckeria

  Group M                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Barunia                        3   2  0  1    9   7  +2    6
2 Darmen                         3   2  0  1   11   8  +3    6
3 Abanhfleft                     3   1  1  1    6   7  −1    4
4 Wreckeria                      3   0  1  2    4   8  −4    1

*Barunia wins on H2H Results

Group N
North Japan 1–0 South Covello
HUElavia 5–1 Euran Oceanic Territories

  Group N                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 HUElavia                       3   3  0  0   11   4  +7    9
2 North Japan                    3   1  1  1    8   9  −1    4
3 Euran Oceanic Territories      3   0  2  1    5   9  −4    2
4 South Covello                  3   0  1  2    0   2  −2    1

Group O
Electrum 6–3 Gyatso-Kai
Recuecn 4–1 Balqia

  Group O                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Recuecn                        3   2  0  1    9   4  +5    6
2 Electrum                       3   2  0  1    8   5  +3    6
3 Balqia                         3   2  0  1    8   8   0    6
4 Gyatso-Kai                     3   0  0  3    8  16  −8    0

*Tiebreaker:
H2H Results
Recuecn 1-1
Electrum 1-1
Balqia 1-1

Recuecn beats out Electrum, who beats out Balqia on GD

Group P
Mapletish 0–2 Twicetagria
Sargossa 2–1 Busoga Islands

  Group P                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Twicetagria                    3   3  0  0   10   2  +8    9
2 Sargossa                       3   2  0  1    7   9  −2    6
3 Busoga Islands                 3   1  0  2    2   4  −2    3
4 Mapletish                      3   0  0  3    2   6  −4    0

Knockout Ties
Xanneria vs Huayramarca- Ferguson Stadium, Rutland
Bluecliff League vs Saint-Domingue - Qusmair Stadium, New Lakeland
Barunia vs North Japan - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights
Recuecn vs Sargossa- Peak’n’Break Stadium, Grande Mountain
Mriin vs San Ortelio - Cassgo Stadium, Victoriaville
Omerica vs Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom- Five Star Mobile Stadium, Brattleboro
HUElavia vs Darmen- Winchester City Lottery Stadium, Winchester
Twicetagria vs Electrum- Cocoa-bo Stadium, Starksville

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Los Pitxileros were through with a game to spare - should we worry about defeat in the final group game? Should we worry about Eura?

Los Pitxileros prepare for the round of thirty-two! Want to know what's going on in the world's second best football tournament? Let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily keep you up to date with the action - all your favourite bits, in brief - plus the usual generous amount of extras. All this week: Our traditional Copametro - every Tequilo match, covered. Stats, ratings, reports, line-ups and more. Plus - Rúi de Los Rovas: season 3 reboot of the famous old comic strip, only in your Daily issue of GOLa; Postcards from The Multiverse: our dedicated followers of Los Pitixileros, the Ultra-Mariachi supporters band and Basilico the Cactus Terrier are on tour, and they'll be letting us know what the food is like in NWK; and of course our regular column, Letters To The Editor. You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spambucket@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹

But first, the final installment of the new serialised story from our sister publication, the Extra: how a former national team goalkeeper became Tequilo's Most Wanted. And we don't mean on the transfer list!

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EL COYOTE
Part 3/3: Demanding

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Part 0 - Previously on García de Corcoles
Part 1 - Recruiting García de Corcoles
Part 2 - García de Corcoles becomes El Coyote

“I’m the pilot, so that officially puts me in charge,” said the pilot of the rickety old plane, “and I’m definitely not doing it. Doesn’t mean to say I can’t write the script and prepare the demands.”

“You’re only in charge of the plane, Berto,” said one of the three militia men who had taken García off the beach and accompanied him on the kidnap mission to Isla Palnoa, “and once we’re back on the ground, you’ll fall into line like the rest of us. I’ve been in the Sect the longest, so I get first call - I’m definitely not going on video, although I don’t mind standing in the background looking angry.”

“I’m only going on the video if we can include a demand for citizenship rights for Mrii satyrs,” said another of the militia men, “on account of my commitment to vegetarianism.”

“One,” said the first militia man, “the Tönjes Rúler Sect -”

“¡Salve Rúler!” chimed the brothers in arms, at the name of their Sect, thrusting a hand up in the air.

“Yes, quite, Salve and all that,” continued the militia man, “one; the sect is hardly commited to equal rights given we’ve identified ourselves as Teq supremacists; two; vegetarianism is not one of the four pillars of Rúlerism; and three; you are not a vegetarian, Davi, you’re having a secret affair with a Mrii satyr and this demand is only to serve your own ends. Shame on you and your dirty habits!”

“And four,” shouted the pilot over his shoulder, “you don’t have the face to represent a supremacist militia, you look more like a hall monitor at the local high school!”

“Shut up Berto,” countered the militia man who claimed to be a vegetarian and had the face of a high school hall monitor.

With the Kip-infected kidnapees of the Tequilo national football team securely bound, and the kidnappers making good their escape from the island of Palnoa where they had been in rehabilitation, the various members of the Tönjes Rúler Sect were debating their ransom demands and trying to decide who should present the video they would make when they landed. García ‘El Coyote’ de Corcoles, recent recruit and cunning perpetrator of the Kip-Snatch, was inclined not to get involved. Most likely, he thought, Tönjes Rúler himself would want to present the demands. And why not? With a face like his, surely no government official right up to the office of the Presidente could resist?

At the sect’s base on the deserted little island of Saraquez, after a bumpy landing, there were more problems when it came to light that there would be some technical difficulties. Berto the pilot had been put in charge of buying videotape for the recorded message, but had neglected to check on the format of the camera, which was a 29.97 fps NTSC 320x468 VHS-SP recorder - the Audioslav standard; so when he’d finally found a shop in Tapalupé that still sold videotape that had not been used and was actually still wound inside a cassette, he had to guess the format and plumped for the Starblaydi standard, which as we all know is 25 fps PAL 720x486 Beta - and never the twain shall meet. When Berto tried to demonstrate it just needed a bit of force to get it in the side-loading mechanical ejector slot, he broke the camera and the tape. And still no-one had agreed to present the ransom demands, let alone agree on what the demands should actually be.

“Haven’t you heard of 8K HD?” wondered Tönjes Rúler, interrupting the melée unexpectedly.

“Is it a type of gun?” said one of the militia men.

“Set this up on a tripod,” said Tönjes Rúler, handing over a tiny plastic box with a lens on one side and a postage-stamp glass screen on the other, “and press the red button on the side… now let’s all stand by the prisoners, I’ll be at the front to set out our demands and you all stand behind me looking angry. That’s it, Berto!”

TWENTY SIX MINUTE NIGHTMARE

MERCEDINI 5-4 TEQUILO HT: 4-0
Location: @ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey, Northwest Kalactin
Attendance: 48,991 and the Ultra Mariachi Band (8 sombreros+dog)
Scorers: Daniel Dostalok 6' 17' (pen) Johan Karlovic 16' Johannes Nymark 26' Ben Chillotov 61' | Ecuador 46' Jordan Brindliev 60' (OG) Tlacolotl 78' (pen) Çenturion 81'
Assists: Lucas Stretovsky 6' 16' Johan Karlovic 26' Daniel Dostalok 61' | Niño Pinto 46' Pedro Rôa 81'
Booked: Oscar Bienvenida, Huachalla (1 match ban)
Injured: Niño Pinto (severity 1/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: (4-1-3-2) Oscar Bienvenida (C) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Xaime Medal (VC), Niño Pinto (sub: Çenturion 71'), Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Ecuador (sub: Pedro Rôa 45')
Player of the Match: Lucas Stretovsky (Mercedini); Tequilo MVP - Niño Pinto

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CHAOTIC START PROVES INSURMOUNTABLE

The Agave-Blues got off to an absolute shambolic start in the winner-takes-all tie against familiar foes Mercedini, and though they clawed back late in the game to make the score-line seem more respectable, it's hard to get away from the feeling that this was a trouncing by a team Tequilo had matched in the last two tournaments where they had crossed paths. Four goals in the first twenty-six minutes, with the defense all over the place, was enough to put Dini out of sight and leave Los Pitxileros facing the uphill task of trying to get something out of the game - or at least try to prevent a complete humiliation. To their credit, they did at least accomplish that, holding on to half time without leaking any more goals, surely to face their second roasting of the evening in the dressing room. Whatever coach August Toset said in his broken Costelloan, it had an instant effect, Ecuador scoring in the first move after half time. An own goal on the hour gave Tequilo a brief moment of hope, before Ben Chillotov's immediate reply proved the decisive fifth and ended any chance of avoiding Eura in the round of 32. Two late goals put Mercedini under some late pressure to hold on, but there was never any likelihood of Los Pitxileros grabbing another brace to win the match and the group.

Tequilo reach the knockout stages for the third consecutive tournament, but the manner of their second-place finish suggests they won't break their glass ceiling of the round of 32 this time around - two unconvincing victories over lower-ranked teams and a total shellacking for at least one half against the group top seed suggest that chances of progressing past Eura will be slim in the extreme. Coach August can at least welcome back two key players in captain Vilca Hualla and bullish young striker Alexandro Calvoecheaga. Their respective qualities of leadership and competitiveness were sorely missed against Dini. On the downside, Niño Pinto does not look fit enough to start the next game having been our best player so far, but in Çenturion we have a similar player who was electric in qualifying and showed enough in the last twenty minutes, as chief influencer in the brief but ultimately vane comeback, to suggest he is more than suitable to stand in. Noxochinoch, the team's Mr. Anywhere, will fill in at rightback with Huachalla suspended for two yellow cards in two games, and Eolo Sorazar still nursing an injury.

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY

Competition goals: Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (2) Blêxu, Niño Pinto, Vilca Hualla, Ecuador, Çenturion (1)
Competition assists: Alexandro Calvoecheaga (2) Ixtub Tün, Tlacolotl, Niño Pinto, Çenturion (1)
Competition PoMs: Niño Pinto (2) Vilca Hualla (1)
Competition cards: Huachalla (2 yellows) Ecuador, Noxochinoch, Oscar Bienvenida (1 yellow)

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Eura
@ Kempsey Centre, Kempsey, Northwest Kalactin

(4-1-3-2)
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Noxochinoch | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Çenturion, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga
Injured and unavailable for bench: Eolo Sorazar, Niño Pinto

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THE ULTRA MARIACHI BAND
Eight sombreros and Basilico the Cactus Terrier

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We have a postcard from one of our dear friends in the Ultra Mariachi Band, following Tequilo to the sixteen corners of the multiverse! Ramon writes:

Thank the lord I brought a few reels of ribbons in reserve for the sombreros, we’re getting through it like nobody’s business since the local motels are… somewhat rough and ready shall we say, and the bathrooms are not as well equipped as we’re used to back home. Or perhaps they have a different way of doing things here. Poor Perderiko got a touch of ‘Qalactine Colon’ and Iker’s got a cyclopean admirer on the front desk who is disconcertingly forthright and persistent. You get what you pay for I suppose, and we’ll be talking to the band treasurer when we get back about what he paid for.

An enjoyable night in Kempsey town ended with a good old singsong on the terrace and the introduction of a new arrangement we’ve been working on, written by Iker and Mardelio - it’s called “Singing In The Drain”, a cheeky nod to the conditions in the away end at Kempsey Centre - all very satirical, of course. Actually it’s rather splendid here. Or is that the satire? Or is that?

Are you enjoying the pitxi so far? - Perhaps that’s the satire. I’m just not sure any more.

¡Hasta la próxima! Ramon de Mobellar (Violín)

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RÚI DE LOS ROVAS
The Comic Strip Legend In A Fantasy Football World - Season 3

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Exclusive to the Daily - we bring you the rebooted version of the ancient comic classic, with ex-world class footballer and manager Rúi Raza now 144 years young and still going strong running his family football business, The Raza Agency, with son Roque, grandson Ronaldo (aka Roni), great-granddaughter Rita and her son Rodi Raza-Shearer.

Coming up in this episode… an increasingly unruly Rúi, head of the family and perhaps a little on the decline in terms of judgement and decision-making, joins mob boss Herr Blatter in the desert country of Qatar to talk about the forthcoming Desert Cup. Blatto’s international crime syndicate Der Fifa are already delivering the human trafficking and forced labour to get the stadiums up and running, and have come to bid on the security contract - with all bidders required to demonstrate just what they’ll do to the place if they don’t get it. Rúi’s just there for the good weather, fast cars, fine wines, indentured escorts and high quality football in the world famous QPL.

Meanwhile, back at the office… Roni Raza is trying to help World Class Striker Gareth Bale understand the wage expectations for an ex-World Class Striker who will be hoping for a free transfer to the Vanarama Conference South Division, with Chippenham Town and Tonbridge Angels rumoured to be going head-to-head in a bidding war for his signature - though Angels’ chairman Dave Netherstreet insists the matter is more likely to be settled by a game of marbles.

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[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

After back-to-back draws here at The Harbour Coliseum, the fate of David Seems' Jaguars depended on what happened on the final day. We have done this before, somehow qualifying despite most games ending in draws, but this time was certainly going to be tough. Our opponents here in Coffs would be Sylestone, the only team to win a game in this group and a team everyone knew would fight for their survival in this competition...all sentient objects they are, of course. The math was simple heading into this contest as there were only two ways TJUN-ia would head into the knockouts: a win or a draw, with Yue Zhou also drawing in their game with Pluvia and the Saxean Isles. Anything else would be a disaster for a team that did so well in WCQ and so, in what many billed as the final game in Coffs no matter what, Seems and his Jags prepared to take on a Toilet and their Sentients.

The game kicked off and from here, this game would be the main thing people back in the International Community would be focusing on. Despite the mind-boggling visuals of a team of humans taking on a team of sentient objects, both teams played some great football in the first half as the stakes were ever more clear. Yuezhou had won 4-2, meaning both teams knew a win would be enough for both to advance and a draw only good for Sylestone. The Sentients were a defensive team anyways but they played with the most confidence for the opening few minutes as the Jags were the one pushing for a breakthrough to try and get the points we needed to advance. That breakthrough would finally come in the 29th minute, a superb pass by Pelinho finished off just as superbly by Joe Green as he struck past the literal Brick Wall in between the sticks. Sylestone weren't just going to give us this game, however, and they would find an equaliser just before half time, the Tumble Dryer "dribbling" the ball in its drum and then shotting it past Gylfisson in the 44th. All even at half time then and both teams knew what that meant: Sylestone would advance as it stood with TJUN-ia drawing 3-of-3 and falling short of the mark.

The second half began with the scoreline fixed on many minds, TJUN-ia the most aggressive in attack for obvious reasons. We needed to find another goal, something that would send the points to our hands and give us passage into the next round, but Sylestone's 5-man(thing?) defensive line was a nightmare to try and breakthrough at times. Seems brought on the Galarain dynamite duo to try and do something, but even they struggled to get through the (not actually a) wall for a while. It was only in the 78th that is was finally breached, Prince Carter finding a way to supply Archer Andrews with a nice through ball for him to glide past the Brick Wall and give the Jags the lead once again. Sylestone would push for an equaliser in the dying minute but that left their defence with walls, allowing Carter the space to run for the hills and secure the contest by his own accord. It wasn't easy, as always, but we found a way. Sylestone were out and TJUN-ia were through.

When this team realised who they would be playing in the Round of 32 and where they would play, they didn't quite know what to think. TJUN-ia will play another game at Coffs but this time, it will be against a team they haven't played since WC85 - New Lusitania and the Algarves, A Selecção, the team that beat TJUN-ia on route to the IAC9 title. It's been more than 4 years since they beat us 1-0 in Porto and you can clearly see that in the rankings: we were 105th in the world back then, taking on the 42nd ranked IAC champions, and now it's the 39th ranked NLA taking on the 43rd ranked Jaguars. In 4 years, TJUN-ia has moved to basically equal with these guys but now, this sets the scene. TJUN-ia have never beaten NLA, but can they break that record here and reach the Round of 16? Or will A Selecção prove that they have always been a thorn in TJUN-ia's side and take the series to 0-1-2? There is only one way to find out...GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group D, all matches at The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs)
MD1: vs Pluvia and the Saxean Isles (150) D 2-2 (T-1st)
MD2: vs Yuezhou (Yue Zhou) (94) D 1-1 (2nd)
MD3: vs Sylestone (72) W 3-1 (1st/W1-D2-L0/+2GD)

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KNOCKOUTS
Ro32: vs New Lusitania and the Algarves (39) @The Harbour Coliseum, Coffs

[Yue Zhou]

“We’re now just fifteen minutes from kickoff, as a recent regional rivalry is set to reignite. It’s the Snow Wolves of Graintfjall against the Dragons of Yuezhou, live from The Harbour Coliseum. Next on Free Yuezhou Radio, we give you the starting lineups and our analysis.”

Premier Ren Qiang didn’t have a lot of guilty pleasures. After being deposed in a military coup and escaping by the skin of his teeth to Nyowani Kitara, the last bastion of socialism on the Xandrian Sea, he generally didn’t have many pleasures. After all, he wasn’t going to reclaim control of Yuezhou for the workers if he sat around all day trying to forget his own misery. But football was one of the rare ones he allowed himself.

“Lu Jialan opts for a more defensive approach, removing Diadora Reeve from the lineup in favor of veteran center-back Ren Fang. Ren and Han Jian is the center-back pairing in front of Ruo Xiaolan, with Kang Enlai and Zhu Aiguo on the flanks. In midfield, Yang Tao and captain Gu Zhalei sit deeper, while Wen Xiaohui, Liu Huiying, and Graintfjall-based Li Jing form the attacking three. Finally, pint-sized sniper Huang Shedong, fresh off of a brace against Pluvia and the Saxean Isles, starts up top in the 4-2-3-1.”

It had arguably been his devotion to the sport that’d gotten him in hot water in the first place, as accusations (that he could neither confirm nor deny) that he was funneling an excessive amount of government funds into the national team and his favorite club, Yincheng Capitals. But football was more than a game to Ren Qiang. It was how he had intended on elevating Yuezhou to the world stage. Ever since Graintfjall and Tikariot had broken free and embraced the free market, Yuezhou had cut a lonely figure adrift in the Xandrian, with only Nyowani Kitara an ideological ally. With foreign relations with neighbors, such as Mavinet, slowly declining, and the likes of Graintfjall becoming increasingly belligerent, Ren Qiang had needed to assert his nation’s identity, and saw football as one of the paths forward.

”For Graintfjall, managed by Nangang Royals legend Kang Guilin, Jorgesson starts in goal, with Vilbertsdóttir, Reynarsson, Tom Ernestisson, and Lúthersdóttir in front of him. Hrærekur Jvarsson dons the armband in midfield, partnered by Ásvaldursson and supporting Guttisdóttir, while Heikissdóttir and Mensdóttir play out wide. Up front, it'll be the talismanic Jason Þórhallursson for Kang Guilin’s 4-2-3-1 formation.”

Of course, he hadn’t been the only one to do so. The Nangang Royals and, to a lesser extent, SC Jiangdong, had always been the pride of the south, and with a series of increasingly political figures leading the clubs, they’d become symbols of a rising separatist tide. Ren Qiang knew it was coming, but the speed by which Nanhai and Jiangdong decided to break free - almost suspiciously fast, enough to make Ren doubt that it had been solely their idea - still stunned him. Two weeks into a failed response, and Ren himself was being sent to a military prison by that traitor Chen Guochuan. Only by the strength of the people did he escape to asylum in Nyowani Kitara, but the war for the future of Yuezhou seemed all but lost.

”It’ll be a very interesting match to watch play out, although not necessarily from a tactical perspective. Both sides play pragmatic, counterattacking football, with Graintfjall slightly less defensive-minded than the Dragons - as a 5-4 barnburner against Tumbra on MD2 indicates. Of course, if neither side opens up, this could be a very long night...I wouldn’t be surprised to see this end via the shootout.”

Ever since the southern capitalists had declared victory, Ren Qiang had been plotting his return to the islands. A small contingent of ex-Yue People’s Army troops had hunkered down on the western island of Xihaishi, and Ren was preparing to declare the continuation of the People’s Federation on his return to the island. For the past few months, from the small office that Nyowani Kitara’s government had lent him, he’d been fervently building up support from the former YPA, as well as advising the future of the Federation in Xihaishi. In just two weeks, he was planning to make his triumphant return - and the struggle to return glory to the workers would begin anew.

”There’s an interesting political component to the match as well, of course. Graintfjall’s Blue-Greens were fierce critics of Ren Qiang’s regime, and while nothing has been proven, it’s believed that oil company Überolía may have played a role in Nanhai’s and Jiangdong’s stunning rise to power. Although newly-elected President Wu Zhongsheng has sought closer ties with Graintfjall, both politically and economically, there’s no love lost between Graintfjall and many of the Yue players, especially those who lost loved ones in the Yue Civil War.”

Until then, all he could do was watch and wait. At the very least, though, he could get a chance to watch his Red Dragons destroy Graintfjall - much like Graintfjall’s oil companies had destroyed his nation. On some level, he knew that none of the players were really at fault for the capitalist pillaging of the People’s Federation - especially since Justiina Dannysdóttir wasn’t starting. On a different, more visceral level, though, he wanted someone to suffer for what had happened to the Yue people. And until he could get back to Xihaishi and do it himself, well...this would do.

”The winner, of course, will play the winner of Valladares and Mavinet in the Round of 16, with the likes of Eura and Tequilo lurking in the quarterfinals. It’ll be tough for Yuezhou to advance past what a likely Rushmori gauntlet, but a win against Graintfjall would get them to the Round of 16 for the first time in eighteen years…”

Oh, and the Mavinese, another government who he suspected had contributed to his own downfall, as well as a major profiteer off of Nanhai's newly-opened oil reserves, were up next? This could be a very good tournament for Ren Qiang.

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

'End of the line' for Bethany Donnell as she is let go following group stage elimination at the Cup of Harmony


An Islander player takes on a pair of Sargossa defenders at Cup of Harmony 79

VICTORIAVILLE, CASSADAIGUA- It was a disappointing World Cup Qualifying campaign, and the pressure had been building ever since the disastrous World Cup 86 Qualifying campaign. Although they had a confidence-inspiring AOCAF 62, not much confidence was building in the national team here. With another disappointing Qualifying campaign, BISA was clear that they wanted to see progress in the CoH. There was none- Sargossa and Twicetagria showed, on the field, the gulf between where Busoga was, and where Busoga wanted to be. A pair of early goals for Sargossa put the knockout stages out of reach early for the Islanders, and there was nothing we could do. And as soon as the team plane landed in Lakiska, the Chairman released a statement.

"Today, we thanked Bethany Donnell for all she has done for our national team." The Chairman said. "She has been integral in raising both the standards and the expectations for what this national team can accomplish. We are a small nation- we understand that it is tough to win here, and tough to build consistency. She has made many of our players better, and we are going to wish her luck in her next endeavor." Donnell apparently had to clean out her desk and then is reportedly going back to her home country.

Now it leaves a lot of questions for the Busoga Islanders. There is clear frustration about their lack of progress up the international ranks. The same patience they preached after World Cup 86 Qualifying has apparently run out. Who will they hire? This is a particularly challenging job. It is international management, yes, and the opportunity to manage a team in the AOCAFs and WCC competition will certainly bring applications. But you've got to really hunt for talent, and advocate for talent. Just one club team in the entire country is in the top-flight. You've got to hunt for talent in all kinds of places- across Busoga and look for Busoga-eligible players in Banija for sure, but as even Artem Kohut shows, you could find out somebody has Busogan ancestry in the strangest of places.

A new direction is coming for this team. And which direction will that be is the question at the hands of the BISA Chairman.

[Mavinet]

Mavinet’s defeat to Newmanistan a blessing in disguise?
by Võ Thành Trung, Associate Editor

For a lot of Mavinese fans following the national team’s campaign in the Cup of Harmony 79, the excitement lies not in how far the team can go, but in how the team address their issues that have started to become a pattern in recent performances. The direction has been positive as the Water Buffaloes are not only getting the wins from lower-ranked teams, but they also are doing it in a more refreshing and convincing manners.

In Group B, Mavinet and Newmanistan had already qualified for the knockout stage before the final match between them, so there was no big stress of elimination behind anyone’s back. It was by no means a formality match, however, as both teams wanted to win the group to avoid playing the first-placed team of Group A, understandably presumed to be the best of Group A. This explains caretaker head coach Phan Vinh Hiển’s decision to field a more experienced team compared to the first two matches with Sharktail and Garbelia. Ranking-wise, Newmanistan are exactly 30 ranks above Mavinet. The Rockets are also three-time champions of the Cup of Harmony, with two back-to-back titles among those three. With a strong squad and even stronger records in the tournament, Newmanistan had every reason to be confident about getting a result in the last match with Mavinet.

Indeed, their quality showed throughout the match against the Water Buffaloes. Fielding a 4-3-3 formation with a solid midfield and a potent front line, Newmanistan play an aggressive style of football that netted them an impressive tally of 52 goals in the World Cup 87 qualifiers. For a Mavinese side that have been struggling to prevent even lower-ranked sides from penetrating through its defense, the attacking threats from Newmanistan definitely were a big challenge to deal with. Allister Levy may be the main goal outlet of the Rockets, but it was Garrett Sarniak and Vinny Donaldson who did the most damage to Mavinet’s defense as Phước Long and Văn Hậu struggled to contain them. A goal in the 19th minute for Sarniak came from a mistake in the right flank when Văn Hậu pushed up too high and exposed the gap in the defense for the speedy 20-year-old forward from Newmanistan to capitalize. Allister Levy scored another one for the Rockets in the dying minutes of the first half from another Mavinet’s mistake, this time on the left side. Center back Quang Đăng and left back Phước Long had a communication breakdown and mispassed the ball into the feet of Vinny Donaldson, who picked out the perfect pass into the box for Levy to defeat Hoàng Trung.

A shaky defense in the first half prompted head coach Vinh Hiển to replace young center back Quang Đăng with the more experienced Hùng Dũng, and reverted back to a counter-attack 4-2-3-1 for additional manpower in midfield. The changes in tactic worked as intended in the second half. Mavinet defended their own half better against Newmanistan’s attacks, and broke away to counter attack better with the presence of a dedicated anchor in midfield. Bùi Thế Hiển, playing the defensive midfield role, made a total of 5 key passes upfield in the second, two of which resulted in goals. Hồ Vũ Thanh Hoàng and Võ Thanh Hải, in the 64th minute and 72nd minute respectively, took advantage of the fast counter attacks to get past the Rockets’ defense and scored Mavinet’s 2 goals of the match. For about 30 minutes after the second half started, Mavinet brought the game back into control and, at times, even threatened to go up if it wasn’t for the excellent reflex of goalkeeper Matthew Costner and cover ability of defender Eric Trotman. In the end, the Water Buffaloes were the one who had their hearts broken, as Newmanistan’s substitute Ryan Singletary scored a late goal in the 85th minute from a commendable solo effort through three Mavinese players. It’s a bitter pill to swallow for the Mavinese defense, who had done well in the second half up to that point but underestimated the strength and agility of the 26-year-old Newmanistan’s striker. Newmanistan got the win they wanted, both in the match and the group.

Even though a draw would have been a more desirable outcome, the loss to Newmanistan may not be as bad as it seemed. The situation of Group A before the last matchday made it unpredictable who would end up winning the group. Valladares were in the pole position heading into matchday 3, but the host Northwest Kalactin and Frestovenia still had realistic chances to top the group. If Northwest Kalactin ended up in second, it’s actually not a bad situation for Mavinet to not win Group B, since playing a higher-ranked team in their home ground is a lot scarier than one might think. It was indeed the case, with Valladares made no mistakes in the last matchday and secured their win in the group. Thus, Mavinet will play the fellow Rushmori team in the Round of 32, while Newmanistan will entertain the host Northwest Kalactin in the other pairing. Now, you can say that if they managed to beat the host and top the group, then they are not at all an easier opponent. That’s true, but going back to the point about playing the host – a higher-ranked team – in their home ground, with an army of supporters at their back, we can see why it’s much more preferrable to avoid the added pressure.

Then there is another argument that winning the group will postpone a potential encounter with the strongest team in this Cup of Harmony, Eura. Again, while it’s true that with the current schedule, Mavinet, if we manage to get past the next two opponents, will potentially face Eura in the quarterfinals, does it really matter when we have to face them? And that’s to assume Mavinet will get past all the obstacles in-between, which is a big assumption looking at the current transitional state of the national team. Any team that has advanced to the knockout stage is a good team, and it would be disrespectful of us to already be looking as far as the match against Eura. It might be appropriate for a team like Newmanistan to worry about such aspect of the schedule, but for Mavinet, it doesn’t really matter. We will play as hard as possible, and go as far as we can with our abilities.

With that intention, our attention should now be turned toward the next match with Valladares, a country that we have not encountered in football before, but definitely are not unknown to football fans across Rushmore and the multiverse. Champions of Copa Rushmori on multiple occasions and runner-ups of the Cup of Harmony 49, they are no minnows, despite what their ranking on the KPB table may suggest. Their loss-less run in this tournament is a clear badge of their quality, and Phan Vinh Hiển and the players will need to be at their best to overcome this challenge. Any mistakes in this stage will be costly, and for Phan Vinh Hiển, that cost may include his future at the national team.

MAVINET - 2
64’ Hồ Vũ Thanh Hoàng
72’ Võ Thanh Hải

NEWMANISTAN - 3
19’ Garrett Sarniak
44’ Allister Levy
85’ Ryan Singletary

Ro32’s lineup against Valladares:
Hoang Trung (GK) / Phuoc Long (LB), Hung Dung (CB), Van Thao (CB), Van Hau (RB) / The Hien (DM), Hoai Linh (CM), Trung Hai (AM) / Tien Linh (LW), Thanh Hoang (RW) / Hoang Bach (ST).

[HUElavia]

B-Team Delivers Historic Sweep for HUElavia!

HUElavia 5–1 Euran Oceanic Territories
(D'Aquila 20', Gagne-Leblanc 33', Savedra 45+2', Tiong Belleza 67', Moutinho-Figo 90+1' | Le Tonnelier 11' (P))
(Qusmair Stadium, New Lakeland)

Entering Matchday 3 at the 79th Cup of Harmony, HUElavia already was qualified into the Round-of-32 for the tournament. Even better, the team had guaranteed 1st Place in Group N thanks to their two victories and Euran Oceanic Territories drawing their two matches to stick in 2nd place for the time being. Thus, Coach Salgado Lacerda felt confident that he could rest his main XI and play with the B-Team for the match against Euran Oceanic Territories. In a surprising move though, he opted to start Vannier in goal, over the established starting goalie and HUElavian favorite, Lobato. Thus, M. A. Duran was named the Captian for the match. The Home Uniform was chosen as the main kit HUElavia would wear for the match. The match was played at Qusmair Stadium (77,000) in New Lakeland, with a massive amount of HUElavians present in the stadium, looking to witness what could be a historic sweep. After the teams came out and the anthems were played, the ball rolled and the final Group N match was under way!

The opening opportunity came in the 11th minute, when during a corner, when Grunberg was holding on the shirt of Dravon. The corner taken into the box was headed out, but Dravon fell and the referee awarded a penalty kick, while Grunberg was given a yellow card. Le Tonnelier stepped up and shot to the left, where Vannier got a hand to it, but it went into the lower left corner and into the goal the shot went, making it 0-1. EOT had the lead and Le Tonnelier was mobbed by his teammates while the HUElavians were frustrated at letting in a dumb goal. HUElavia would eventually respond in the 20th minute, when a corner was won and Torrisi took the corner kick. Up came D'Aquila, in his first official start, over Ford, and headed the ball past the reach of Ross into the goal, making it 1-1. D'Aquila ran to the corner flag and praised God for his first ever goal with the National Football Team, waiting for and earning his opportunity to play a match and score a goal. His teammates hugged and congratulated him, while the HUElavian crowd was jumping and celebrating with joy and passion, making the stadium rumble. They even gave a standing ovation for the 30 year old in his historic achievement. The game would go back and forth with shots and opportunities until the 33rd minute, when Pae was being covered by Walsh. She crossed the ball in, and when it looked like Law would clear with ease. Gagne-Leblanc got the ball, chested it down, and gave a low shot that went out of reach for Ross, and into the goal to make it 2-1. Gagne-Leblanc celebrated with her teammates, all while the HUElavians jumped and screamed in celebration for the goal. HUElavia kept pressuring and got one last counter attack, when a corner taken by Le Tonnelier was headed out by Grunberg, and the ball went to Mantovani-Jardim, where she ran with Tiong Belleza and Savedra to her sides. Being covered by Potts, she passed it to Tiong Belleza, who gave a cross to Savedra on the other side of the field, where he was left all alone. He chested the ball down and blasted it past a sprawling Ross into the top corner, making it 3-1. Savedra celebrated with a dance in the corner flag while his teammates went to celebrate with the dance, all while the fans jumped and cheered to make the stadium rumble once again. At half time, it was 3-1, and HUElavia had the sweep in the bag.

Despite the lead, Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos wanted more, and kept giving EOT a difficult time. Despite saves by Vannier, the defense kept their ground and allowed deep balls forward in order to produce as many counter attacks as possible and giving Ross plenty of movement to keep the game alive. This culminated in the 67th minute, when Duran sent a long ball forward to Tiong Belleza, where she put the ball down and was being covered by Ford. She nutmegged him and went one-on-one with Ross, giving a chip over the EOT goalie, and into the goal it went, making it 4-1. The HUElavian crowd erupted in joy and celebration, applauding the cheeky goal from the Pinay HUElavian winger. She celebrated with her teammates and shared a strong hug with Savedra, which hints at something more between the two. EOT was depleted and demoralized with the goal, while HUElavia kept up attacking, looking to close this historic Group Stage on the right foot. This came in the 90+2nd minute of the match, when a corner kick went out far with all players from EOT looking to score. This left Moutinho-Figo all alone as he got the ball and ran down the field, with Ross preparing to make a save, while Davison (in for Potts) chased after him. Moutinho-Figo got around Ross and tapped the ball into the empty goal, making it 5-1. Moutinho-Figo celebrated with his teammates, while the HUElavian crowd celebrated once more and chanted him name for scoring a great goal. Shortly after, the match ended and HUElavia swept Group N with ease.

With the victory, HUElavia has won an entire group in the Group Stage of a tournament, with a perfect 3-0-0 record, a first for the HUElavian National Football Team. HUElavia finishes in 1st Place for Group N. In the other match between North Japan and South Covello, North Japan won their match 1-0, and advanced into 2nd Place of Group N with 4 Points (1-1-1). Euran Oceania Territories finishes in 3rd Place with 2 Points (0-2-1), and South Covello finishes in 4th place with 1 Point (0-1-2). HUElavia will now play against Darmen, the Group M runner-up, for the Round-of-32 who were also a Pot 1 team, although ranked 46th in the rankings. HUElavia will play with the A-Team once again, with Ramos in goal and Navarro as Captain. The Home Uniform will be worn for the match. The match will be played at Winchester City Lottery Stadium (59,000), in Winchester, where HUElavia got their 1st two World Cup victories in World Cup 84, over 12 years ago. This stadium is a holy land for the HUElavians and the team itself, as they hope to study their opponents and practice well, hoping to keep this dream alive for another match, in what has been an enjoyable Cup of Harmony, the first for the millions of HUElavians and the team itself.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Krytenia]

You Play In Purple, And Thus Deserve No Good Things
By Rami Niblick in Ballina, Northwest Kalactin

THEY may not be Starblaydia, or even Matthewsiania, but they'll do. Lorrana faced up against Krytenia looking to get a result and book their place in the knockout stages; that quite spectacularly didn't happen.

Krytenia decided the best way to win the game was to attack from the start, and immediately reaped rewards. A quick ball released Neil Smith, who pulled defenders out wide before cutting back in to square the ball for Alun Belmwr to slot home from eight yards out. Just twenty-one seconds were on the clock, and Krytenia were in the lead.

It was a lead they never seriously looked like losing. Smith himself added a second on the half-hour, dribbling past Olisati before curling the ball past a sprawling Lizi Lruiktu and into the Lorrana net. From there, Krytenia simply controlled possession, denying their opponents the ability to create chances. It was, perhaps, a cruel exposure of the gulf in class between the two sides, but it was effective. Berd Ravilu and Sidar va Daledi were effectively acting as extra midfielders, trying desperately to win the ball back as Krytenia played keep-away, but to no avail. Curtis Sunday's third goal, a bullet header from a Joe Bielsa cross, was salt in the wound, whilst a well-struck free-kick meant that Ben Foyle got his name on the scoresheet as well.

There was one crumb of comfort for Lorrana; as Krytenia wound down late in the game, including a late debut for Alex Rivers in defence, they allowed their opponents more of the ball, and Ravilu made the most of this, leaping above Ross Okano from a corner to grab a late consolation.

The win means that the Dragons qualify as runners-up; this could, in the end, be a blessing in disguise as it means they avoid the likes of Valladares, Tequilo, and Eura until the semi-finals. Though it's true that they instead have potential future opponents of the likes of Newmanistan, New Lusitania, and Mercedini, it's better than the alternative.

Before we can think about that, though, there's the little matter of our last thirty-two match against Juvencus. They will be a formidable opponent, certainly, but Krytenia have now started progressing through the gears and look to be coming into form at just the right time for a deep run, and - who knows? - they might even manage to retain their Cup of Harmony title. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 4
Belmwr 1
Smith 30
Sunday 58
Foyle 72

LORRANA - 1
Ravilu 85

[Northwest Kalactin]

Part 1
Part 2

---

Newly Established Meeting Room
Instead of just 2 men, this time, 38 men walk into a hotel meeting room. All in suits, they are excited to hear the news. A man by the name of Zac Johnson starts talking.

“Alright folks, we all know why we are here, we are going to return a government to Northwest Kalactin. You have been sent the briefings on the plan for the government and the re-establishment of the said group, and you all agreed to the plan, and had time to ask questions, which those of you that did, asked and received answers for your questions. Does everyone understand?”

A few “yes” responses come from the men in the room, and all seem on board with the plan. Conner Lawrence stands up starts a small speech.

“While we have an intricate plane laid out for this, we still need to execute it, which is the hardest part. We will have assistance from the Quebecois armed forces on the security side of affairs, although the 3 security companies involved must come through for this plan to work. You guys may have the most important part of the plan. Advertising this change is very important also, we should spend spare money on promoting a government in the nation, and encouraging the people to embrace it. We are the strong ones, we are willing to put our nation before profits and self interests, nobody asked us to do this, we decided to, we are the future of this nation.”

A man large in stature, and very important in the plan, Peter Fleming stands up and addresses the group.

“Hello, for those who don’t know me, I am the CEO of the Kalactanian Broadcasting Corporation, if we need to air any pro-government propaganda on the KBC, we are open and free of charge. However, I do believe it is time to get going, all of my colleagues are ready to go when given the thumbs up, and if everyone else is ready, I think we get this show on the road.”

Zac stands back up ready to respond

“I agree. I am ready to start. If the security companies, and banks are ready, I say we go, they are the 2 key components in this operation, and if they are ready, we are ready.”

Whispers start to fill the room, then Dennis Kennedy, the leader of the Security Coalition begins speaking.

“-We, seem ready to go. If everyone else wants it, we are ready.”

Zac Begins again

“Great, banks, you ready?”

A few nods and thumbs up comes from the 3 major bankers, they are ready.

“Awesome! Let’s get this show on the road!”

A small cheer floods the room, which is then broken up by various whispers and conversations, the nation would be changed very soon.

---

Newmanistan vs Northwest Kalactin @ Gold Coast International Stadium, Gold Coast- Preview
Well, the Kalactanians are onto another round of the Cup of Harmony, this time, we do not expect to have an easy match, as we play the recent World Cup hosts, Newmanistan, who has a strong history in the sport of football, particularly the Cup of Harmony. Fortunately for the Kalactanian team, they will be playing at their tried and true home of Gold Coast International Stadium. The home field will help, but will it be enough against this skilled Newmani team?

Of course, the only way to find this out will be at the game, make sure to see at the the Gold Coast International Stadium, where Jared Sednah will take on the Rockets of Newmanistan in one of the biggest games to every be played on Home field. Sednah will have the 11-strong 3-3-4 rotation at it once again, as injuries have yet to plague the Kalactanian team yet. We hope to see you there at the field at 5:00 tomorrow, go Kalactin!

[Blouman Empire]

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Eagles Lose But Still Progress Past Group Stage

Juvencus boss Maurio De Casio could hardly hide his excitement when the final whistle went after his side put in a quality performance to be beat the Blouman Empire and finish top of the group.

Santo Silvestri got a fortuitous but deserved winner for Juvencus, who completed the group stages with zero losses. The Empire finished in second spot narrowly finishing above Flavosepia thanks to beating them in Round 1 – their only win of the tournament so far. Despite the loss finishing second still means the Empire is through to the Round of 32 for the first time since before they re-entered the international stage. After performing well and narrowly missing out on qualifying for the World Cup the Eagles started this campaign well with a win, however, since then they have not looked sharp recording a draw and last night’s loss and not showing signs of confidence going into their next match.

Nino Russo should have put Juvencus ahead in the first half, only to slice over the crossbar, but it was the midfielder’s header across goal that set up the winner. Jason Potts could only get a toe to save it and the ball deflected off Silvestri and beyond Eagles keeper Rory Flinn. BSN Commentator James Ch’Alister was full of praise of the team afterwards “This team defended well as a team and showed quality in attack, the Eagles unfortunately weren’t able to counter this and it shows in the result” The win pits Juvencus against international stalwarts Krytenia, while the Eagles face Group G winners Squornshelan Remnant States

The Eagles added more urgency to their game in a bid to find a leveller, but in a game of few chances it was still Juvencus who created the better of them. Flinn who had impressed so well in the 1st game had been kept in goals over regular 1st choice keeper Henry Polinor had to make some smart saves from Patxi Etxeberri and Joaquim Martell to stop Juvencus doubling their lead. At the other end, De Casio's side reduced the champions to just one shot on target – a shot by Luke Cousins that was easily picked out of the air by Juvencus keeperTaddeo Bulgari.

Despite a solid performance in the back half of the world cup qualifiers and a quality showing in Round 1 the Eagles have not lived up to the hype. The Eagles have found it hard to break down compact defences and went almost half an hour without even having a shot in the first half, a long-range Ty Freltron effort was blocked outside the penalty area. His and Cousins were the only two attempts the Eagles could muster before the break, their fewest since the World Cup 86th qualifiers. There was more intent from the Eagles after the interval but the closest they came was when Cousins fired narrowly wide from Rhys Lornet’s low, driven cross. The low attempts on goal is a worrying statistic for a side that should’ve finished top of the group after their Round 1 win.

The Eagles face off in their Round of 32 match against Squornshelan Remnant States at Ballina Stadium. Squornshelan Remnant States went through the group stage winning all three games and will be full of confidence not least after winning their final group stage match 5-0. For the Eagles to have a chance they are going to need to find a way to create more chances on goal if they wish to remain within the tournament.

[Electrum]

The Turnip: Electrum speedruns into the next round of the Cup of Harmony
by Billiam Maskey, chief-editor-in-chief

Gaming history was made today as the Electrum football team managed to make their way into the Round of 32 of the Cup of Harmony in record time. In fact, it could be described as a speedrun.

Before starting the game against Gyatso-kai, Electrum manager Tyler Fernando performed some frame-perfect manips. In particular, he kept starting and restarting the game until he got the perfect line-up where there was a one in a thousand-and-ninety-three chance that Gyatso-kai coach Kad’e Tay’haii would be starting the game picking his nose. Starting with the opposing coach picking his nose is essential for the Electrumite team to save three minutes of stoppage time at half-time because the Gyatso-kaian coach won't be mad when the camera sees him picking his nose just before half time (as his nose felt very snotty for the last forty minutes), causing him to waste time by arguing with the referee on the TV coverage.

When it came to the actual gameplay, there are a few tricks to speed things up, and to increase the goal counter. For example, during normal gameplay, it is impossible to go outside of the pitch boundaries. However, Fernando very sneakily got the Sentient Energy Ball to jump into one of the pitch's corners at an extremely high velocity. This allowed it to clip through the invisible boundary into a void space underneath the pitch. It then becomes a matter of transferring the ball to underneath the crawl space and then scoring.

Unfortunately, Fernando was unable to pick up the slack with just ten players on pitch, allowing Gyatso-kai to get three unopposed goals in the first half, to the one that Seb eventually scored. Fortunately, however, this is actually the best way to speedrun. Allowing your opponents to gain an early lead means that they the opponent gains complacency and cockiness points, and loses defence and wariness points.

In the second half, Fernando tried some more speed-run strategies. In the first half, we explained how the physics engine can be exploited to the team's success. Now, in the second half, Fernando entered a cheat-code which entailed him pressing "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A". Fans in the stands were confused to see Fernando hopping around, but that cheat code allowed him to put expired unicorn milgk into the Gyatso-kaians drinks instead of the traditional bison milk. Because bisons and unicorns are pretty much the same animals, the Gyatso-kaians did not register what happened until it was too late.

The Gyatso-kaians started the second half vomiting everywhere on the field. And the smell of vomit made everyone in the stands start to retch and vomit. And that triggered a chain reaction of vomit the likes of which Cassadaigua had never seen before. The field became so slippery that the velocity of each of the players increased dramatically, while at the same time, reducing injuries as people slid on the ground instead of falling face flat. The stench of expired unicorn's milk badly affected the human players, but Seb was unaffected while for Einarsson, King of the Armoured Bears, it was a nostalgic reminder of the decaying corpses of mammoths that he used to consume in his dimension.

Electrum's three non-human players scored the next five goals to win the match six goals to three. By minimising the injury time that accumulated during the match, Fernando skilfully finished the match in just 90 minutes and 1 extra minute of stoppage. The reward? A round of 32 berth against Twicetagria.