World Cup 87 - RP Thread

by **Koniglich Wasserstein** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:24 am

Highlights

4' - Kurt Keller gives away a penalty for foul play. He receives a yellow card.
5' - GOAL! Julien Babesco - Sends Hans Heiko the wrong way as he neatly slots it into the bottom left corner from the spot.
15' - Babesco hits crossbar and it bounces away. It was a great shot from the edge of the area.
22' - GOAL! Alex Lange - scores the header from a corner. Takes slight deflection off Boleyn on the way through to the top right corner, but fitting for the captain to score the first goal of the campaign. Assist - Konrad Lorenz.
31' Kurt Keller almost redeems himself with his header from another Lorenz corner scraping the crossbar.
37' After a great run from Josep Carpeña, the through ball is played to Nico Pozo, who is through on goal, but Hans Heiko pulls out a great save.
43' GOAL! Josep Carpeña - Everything changes just before half time, however, when Carpeña scores after an incredible dribble. Shot from just outside the area. Assist - Carlos Sanabria.
45+4' - Half Time.
49' - Diederich Ziegler skims the outside of the right post as his shot from around the penalty spot goes wide.
61' Nico Pozo's close range shot is fired just over the bar as Saint-Dominigue comes very close to doubling their lead.
72' Koniglich come agonisingly close to equalising as Jules Binet makes what was save of the match; the pass across the six yard box from Marco Fuchs should have been a tap in for Marius Schreiber
83' GOAL! Nico Pozo - took advantage of a great through ball from Adama Keller and rolled it past Heiko. Game over. Assist: Adama Keller
90+1' Full time.

Post Match Interviews
Thomi Vogel

Interviewer: So how do you feel about the match today?

Vogel: I think it showed positive signs for the rest of the campaign. We quite clearly need to focus on taking our chances; we let to many good chances go to waste. Creating them doesn't seem to be a problem, however. We are also giving away a few too many chances, but with a bit of defensive work we should hopefully be able to learn from today and improve our defensive play.

Interviewer: What specifically in the defense needs work; and how are you planning work on it?

Vogel: Some things do have to be kept confidential as for us not to be taken advantage of, but at the moment our defense is being broken apart and played through too easily. I think that we really need to read the game in a better fashion, but this is going to take a bit of work to get right.

Interviewer: What positives do you think you can take out of the game?

Vogel: Our ability to score goals; you could argue we should have had more. Our chance creation was really good as well. And finally, the unbroken good morale after the loss, and that of course we are disappointed, but at the same time, we now have a good WCQ game that we can take from and learn from. Of course, every team and every game will be different, but the pressure in this contest is nothing quite like any games anywhere else.

Interviewer: Your next game is at home, against Abahnfleft. Who do you think are the players to look out for?

Vogel: For me, the two most important players to look out for are Dagen up front and Tabarez on the right wing. However, there are certainly other great players on their side.

Interviewer: Thank you for your time.
Vogel: Thank you.

Alex Lange + Konrad Lorenz

Interviewer: So Alex, how does it feel to score your country's first goal in your World Cup Qualifying Campaign?

Lange: I was ecstatic at the time; we had just equalised, we were back in the game. I was happy not just for myself but for my team, and it provided a real motivational boost; we had a good spell after that, and Kurt almost scored. Of course the deflection was lucky but a goal is a goal. I would also like to add that the cross from Konrad was genuinely excellent.

Interviewer: And Konrad, to assist it?

Lorenz: As Alex mentioned, we were all very pleased with the goal. At that point it was really Alex, the rest of the team and the Konig football [soccer] fans in general that I was happy for. We were unlucky not to get a second eight minutes later.

Interviewer: Are you now looking forward to more difficult games against the likes of Zwangzug and other strong teams or dreading them?

Lange: Both! It will be an incredible experience to host strong teams and play at their stadiums, but at the same time we won't look good if we put on a poor show! I think that when we get to those type of games, it's all about being tactically sound and having good stamina. To be fair, Saint-Dominigue is already a better team than us, but that game was perfect to learn from.

Lorenz: I'm looking forward to every single match we have lined up for us. As a younger player, every match is a great experience for me.

Interviewer: Are you disappointed with the result?

Lange: A bit. I think that we could maybe have got a draw there, but you can't change the past and it is important to move on.

Lorenz: Not really. We put up a good show and proved that we will put up a fight. However, at the same time, maybe we could have salvaged something out of the game.

Interviewer: Thanks for your time.

Lange: Thank you.

Lorenz: Thank you.

by **Waisnor** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 5:38 am

Rocky Start

The first opponent of the Waisnorian football team was Trolleborg, winner of one of the latest Baptism of Fire tournaments and so it was very serious opponent. However, Waisnorian fans were hoping for at least a decent loss and a good game of Waisnorian team. The starting lineup, indicated in the roster, entered the field.
Waisnor from the very beginning began to concede in the game to Trolleborg, but the defense held on and did not give the enemy a score. However, she also cracked - at the 20th minute, the 31-year-old Finn Finnsnes almost perfectly bypassed the Waisnorian defense and made a clear shot at the goal, after which the score became 1-0 in favor of Trolleborg.
After this goal, the defenders lost confidence and began to make more mistakes, and Dmitry Samoilov had to do much more work. On the 37th minute, Trolleborg's advantage doubled - Morten Troll took advantage of the gap in the defense and struck outside the penalty area into the goal, hitting the lower right corner and making the score 2-0. On a break, the teams left with this score.
Seemingly, Waisnorian team became completely limp and lost all energy. However, at the 67th minute Alexey Bolotov unexpectedly broke through the defense of Trolleborg, went one on one with the goalkeeper Tomas Kot Kotsson and sent the ball into the goal, thus scoring the first Waisnorian goal in NS World Cup history. Waisnorian fans on the stadium just exploded, celebrating this goal.
However, this goal did not confuse the representatives of Trolleborg. They continued to play the same football, and this again bore fruit - in the 78th minute Torfinn Skaloed after a pass from the flank, he sent the ball into Samyolov's goal with a strong blow, scoring the third goal of Trolleborg in this meeting. This goal also became the last. Waisnorian fans weren't disappointed - they, in principle, expected a similar result.

Team for a matches with Mand Blustopia and Twicetagria
Dmitry Samoilov
Pavel Burtsov
Konstantin Nikrevich
Alexey Tiunov
Arseny Bratkov
Timur Skvortsov
Svyatoslav Pyatigorets
Arthur Shuteyko
Prokhor Golovnov
Alexey Irkha
Alexey Bolotov

by **Chartistan** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:15 am

THE BILLBOARD GAZETTE

FLEFTIC VIBES ARE TOO STRONG

Chartistan suffers defeat at the hands of Abanhfleft to kick off the World Cup campaign

RELEINTHI, Abanhfleft - You never said Abanhfleft was going to be easy. In Chartistan's first ever game in the World Cup qualifiers, if there was something that moved way too fast for Doctor Lucas Combbrush's liking, it was the overall vibe that may set the stage for the qualifying matches to come for this Chartistan outfit, as they suffered a 2-0 defeat to the home side at the Monsanto Stadium. To put it mildly, in their first game since losing to Cirrus Azale in the Baptism of Fire on penalties, it was a mediocre performance for the team against highly ranked opposition.

From the first kick of the ball it was clear the home side was having the advantage, home team or otherwise, and there was no lies on the pitch to tell them otherwise. The first bite of the cherry came, of course, from Abanhfleft, with James Carmichael setting up a goal for Marcus Tabarez in the 36th minute to bring the Fleftic side the lead in their World Cup home opener for this cycle. Upon halftime, Doctor Lucas knew that he was hesitant on the team and how they were going to take this side on. In an audio recording that was sent to the Billboard Gazette, Doctor Lucas seemed calm, but bullish on the match.

"Look, Ritz Moms, I know you're not set up yet for goalkeeping, not by a long shot, but I'm surprised you only gave up one goal so far. Keep the mistakes to a minimum and we'll not be embarrassed. Truth be told though, we are going to lose. It's a matter of how hard we get smacked in the second half!"

While the Chartistan team did get smacked in the second half, it was more of the same from the first. Off a corner kick for Abanhfleft, Kareem Dagen would head the ball, before a stop by Ritz Moms redirected it to another member of the Abanhfleft attack, and it was Arthur MacAlistair in the 66th minute to make it 2-0 for Abanhfleft. With that, the 3 points went solely to their bank account, and with not a single Chartistani goal in sight (Although Air Latte did have her chance on numerous occasions), the game ended 2-0, two to zero, dos a cero to Abanhfleft.

A expected performance against a team like them, but there is more to come from the Chartistanis, as they will take a trip down to Netop. Will they win? Only Margaret knows.

by **Silvedania** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:23 am

World Cup: Silvedania loses 0-2 to Fluvannia

By Merpity Merpus

Yesterday, the inaugural match for Silvedania in the world cup took place at Lightgarden Stadium in New Gardenalia. The match was against WC alum Fluvannia who beat the Silvedanians 0-2.

MD1 - Game Analysis
Score: 0-2
Goals:
28', Daniel Vaudois(Fluvannia)
73', Jori Huursonen(Fluvannia)
Penalties: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Attempted Goals:
47', Keith Beaumanior

View from the feild of Lightgarden Stadium

Tomorrow, Silvedania will face matches against HUELavia and Pays Den Haut. Here are our pre-game analyses.

MD2 - Silvedania vs. HUELavia @ Stadium in HUELavia

Despite HUELavia losing to Murphtannia in an upset victory, we expect that things will not go that way again. Right now we think it will be a draw since HUELavia seems to be faltering this season.

Predictions:
Score: 0-0
Goal Scorers: N/A

MD3 - Silvedania vs. Pays Den Haut @ Epaecia Feild, Ceka

Pays Den Haut is a relatively new player to World Cup events, even newer than us. They also lost their first game against Tioguldos. We feel pretty good about this one.

Predictions:
Score: 2-0
Goal Scorers: Cinnam Onerj, Isaac Guilbert

by **Xanneria** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:33 am

Point taken!
excerpt from http://www.xtrasports.xan/nationalteam.htm

DOMINICA CITY - When your playing a nation ranked in the 150s, you'd be forgiven for automatically assuming that they were mediocre. But this opponent that the Maroons faced was the Haps of Happilopper. The team is only ranked low due to a gambling scandal that erupted and saw them with a three year self imposed hiatus. The game say a capacity crowd of 65,000 in the capital to watch the Haps and Maroons. The game was electric and resulted in a tough fought point for both teams, but what will likely make news is who wasn't on the Haps starting XI. Cooter Harris was either scratched out of the line up. An odd strategy that in the end payed of to an extent for Happilopper. While it's likely Harris had been scratched out of the line up due to nothing more than them not wanting to hurt a player coming off of an injury riddled season. Harris had been playing for Northshore FC near the capital, but in the 38 games this FLOX Omega Division season, Harris could only suit up for 15 games. The star of the Happilopper team was Augie Burton though, part of the crowded midfield at Capital he played his heart out in front of his home fans one last time, as it now appears he's on the transfer market.

Most scoring took place early on, with 2 goals from Xanneria in the first half, with Kyle Falcon finally taking advantage of a hot start and his first time in the starting XI.The Chromatika based player garnered two goals. But the down side is, Happilopper having an answer for both fairly quickly. Relying on Auggie Burton seemed to have worked though for the Haps as he had a great game with the presicion passing that was seen from him as a rotational player in Xanneria. The young 23 year old Burton is looking to impress and get a transfer out of XANAir National Stadium as Capital is trying their hardest to cut down on a midfield rotation full of big international names. He was the penalty kick taker for the game, and at 19 minutes in, Burton got an opportunity. It came about when Nate Ellis made a tackle on Bray Feltzer. afterwards the two appeared to engage in some trash talk went on. Unbeknownst to Feltzer though he appeared to bump into Happiloppers Paul Dibble which caused Feltzer to shove Dibble afterwards thinking Dibble ran into him. The resulting shoving match saw a red on Feltzer and a yellow on Dibble. This may have been the difference though as the Haps slowly were able to put up the stronger second half and roughly twelve minutes in the second half, a Burton assist to the great Ernie Stevenson ties things up. Although Burton may have done some damage to Xanneria's NT, one must think this may help Burton's case for a domestic transfer as both Galaxy SC and possibly Pearlham SC may be interested in his services. Next up for the Maroons are North Japan, a team that is unknown but new and showed some promise tieng up the much more well known, big name team of Baker Park team at the score of 1 goal apiece. For Happilopper they will face Electrum. Needless to say the Electrum expats will be filling into the turnip halls for that.

XANNERIA - 2
Falcon 10' 42'

Hapilopper - 2
Burton 19' (PK)
Stevenson 57'

by **Saint-Domingues** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 6:59 am

Saint-Domingue 3-1 Koniglich Wasserstein: Avengers off to a strong start
HT 2-1
Saint-Domingue had enough firepower about them to get past some tricky opposition in the form of Koniglich Wasserstein, courtesy of a penalty from Julien Babesco and goals from Josep Carpeña and Nico Pozo.

The game went off to a good start at Saint Dominic's Park, as Saint-Domingue were presented with a golden opportunity to open the scoring after less than five minutes of play. Nico Pozo went racing into the channels after a long ball from Giuseppe Cojuangco and after dribbling into the box was brought down by defender Kurt Keller - penalty. Julien Babesco continued his rich vein of form by outsmarting goalkeeper Hans Heiko and sending him the wrong way. Babesco now has a very impressive 12 goals in just 19 international appearances. Babesco almost made it 13 but was unlucky on this occasion, twisting and turning on the edge of the area to get a shot away but his effort smacked against the crossbar.

Konglich Wasserstein scored their first goal of this World Cup cycle on the twenty-two minute mark, when captain Alex Lange nodded in from a Konrad Lorenz corner kick, the ball taking an unfortunate touch off Guillaume Boleyn to help divert it out of Jules Binet's reach. A second set piece almost brought a complete reversal, but this time a header from Keller hit the bar. Konglich Wasserstein were able to craft some strong chances from set pieces in the first-half, with some tricky movement in the box that proved difficult to track and a succession of corners and free-kicks were greeted with excitement by the loud away support, though none of them ultimately came to anything.

It was Saint-Domingue who were back on the front foot towards the conclusion of the opening period, Josep Carpeña going on a blistering run to beat Lothar Böhm and put Nico Pozo through on goal, but the young striker was unable to find his composure and failed to beat Heiko, who made himself big and pulled off a good stop. Evidently that chance made Carpeña feel like he needed to do everything himself, as the playmaker almost single-handedly dragged his team into the lead. Carlos Sanabria collected the ball on the edge of his own area and gave it to his midfield partner, who ran from the edge of his own area to the other, beating three men along the way before arrowing a shot low into the bottom left corner for a truly stunning individual effort.

Koniglich Wasserstein went close to equalising but Diederich Ziegler's shot kissed the outside of the post from twelve yards out. There was more misfortune to come as ever-present left-back Emilio Campos pulled up, complaining of a problem with his calf muscle. The full-back - who was served Canisbro so well both for Saint-Domingue and at club level for Atlético Domingo - had to be swapped out for Jacques Charbonneau and is likely to miss the next two games against Hafamarimet and Sharktail. The new left-back slotted in pretty comfortably amongst a rather settled defence, but did have one moment which he will be very grateful to Binet for. Charbonneau was beaten by Marco Fuchs and his pass across the six-yard box to Marius Schreiber was somehow saved at point-blank range.

With a certain leveller impressively denied, Saint-Domingue went on the hunt to kill off the game. Adama Keller played a defence-splitting pass that again found Nico Pozo with just the 'keeper to beat. The striker - whose movement had caused the Wassertstein defence trouble all afternoon and had fired over a good chance on the hour mark - was finally able to get his goal with a cool finish past Heiko to make the result safe.

Saint-Domingue head coach Camilo Canisbro: "It's great to begin qualifying with the three points, especially when you put a pretty good performance in as well. I think we deserved the win overall, there were a lot of moments and quality and we had some chances to make the win safe before we did. Nico [Pozo] has fluffed his lines a bit with one of those chances, but the more important thing to me was his intelligence to peel away from the man and get in the right position for the shooting chance. He's still a young boy and a bit rough around the edges, but he has the ability as we saw at the end."

"In the first-half, I thought we were having a lot of trouble with set pieces. Lorenz was very good on the dead ball and they bring a lot of men up. There needed to be a few tweaks and reminders there about how we can defend those situations, as it can be challenging. But in the second-half I thought we defended those a lot better. There was one time that Koniglich Wasserstein really picked our defence apart and we are all very grateful to Jules [Binet] - what a save! The speed in which he reacts is phenomenal, he's a top class 'keeper. There can be games where the goalkeeper doesn't have all that much to do and then suddenly he has to bail us out, the sign of a quality goalkeeper. When we scored again I was straight away shouting encouragement to Jules, as without his contribution that doesn't happen."

"It was a nice start and great to finally play a competitive match at Saint Dominic's Park! The fans were great and really helped the team out. Next we have a tricky away tie and that will have its own challenges and learning opportunities which everyone is looking forwards to."
Lineups:
Binet
Cotilla
Boleyn
Cojuangco
Pareja
Campos <- Charbonneau 52'
Sanabria
Carpeña
Vignon <- Keller 64'
Babesco <- Lacourse 84'
Pozo

Saint-Domingue: Babesco (5') P, Carpeña (43'), Pozo (83')
Koniglich Wasserstein: Lange (22')
Venue: Saint Dominic's Park

by **PotatoFarmers** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:03 am

Previous RP (Chapter 3 Part 1)

RP Series: Getting to the top
Chapter 3: New Year, New Goals
Part 2: Matchday 1 Reflections

World Cup Qualifiers 84. Poafmersia stormed onto the stage on Matchday 1, when the Red Panjias played away at Squornshelous and won 6-2. Although Squornshelous was unranked then, it was purely because they were a team returning from a hiatus. Previously, they had been World Cup participants and had lots of good results. That qualifiers, Poafmersia would end with a solid record of 10 wins, 4 draws and 6 losses, achieving 3rd place behind Nephara and Siovanija & Teusland despite being 175th ranked and being 7th seeds at the start of the qualifiers.

World Cup Qualifiers 85. Poafmersia drew a really tricky group with Brenecia, Damukuni, Filindostan, returning team Quebec, and Reçueçn. Yet again, the Red Panjias pulled off the most incredible of upsets by defeating top seeds Brenecia away 3-2 on Matchday 1. Being the 5th seeds, it was disappointing when Poafmersia ended in 5th place, but it was a good outing with the team ending with 13 wins, 6 draws and 5 losses.

World Cup Qualifiers 86. By this time, Poafmersia had rose to become the 3rd seeds of the group, and was really lucky to be handed a really nice group. Top seeds The Holy Empire, 2nd seeds Audioslavia, and 4th seeds Juvencus were the only ones standing in the way of the team. And with the Juvencus team in a slump over the past few years, it was possibly the best time to qualify. After pulling off yet another win on Matchday 1 against Audioslavia, 2-1 away, Poafmersia thought they could do it. From losing against second seeds twice in the 84 cycle, to drawing the second seeds (Reçueçn) twice in the 85 cycle, to beating the second seeds twice in the 86 cycle. The trend pointed towards it being easy. Yet Poafmersia went on a 5-game winless streak to lose the opportunity to enter the playoffs for a spot at the World Cup. The same year, fellow Baptism of Fire 71 debutees Trolleborg made it into the World Cup.

This has been the 7th year Poafmersia is playing in international football, and the 4th attempt by the Red Panjias to qualify for the World Cup. Honestly, the job hasn't gotten simpler. In fact, it has gotten even harder with the group dynamics. Poafmersia would be extremely careful not to slip up with Krytenia in front and Squornshelan Remnant States at the back. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th seeds are really neck-to-neck in terms of ability, the only difference would probably be team dynamics, injuries, and also, mental strength. Honestly, Poafmersia are only going up in terms of team abilities. Hansel Tang has clearly improved after a stint at Advance Alara of Ko-oren, so much so that she has became a dependable back-up to Shakira Handris or Joel Haodao. Pete Carisa, despite issues at Mancodas City, has found his abilities.

The team has became so good with each other that they constantly break records. Fastest climb to Top 100 in recent years. First team to reach the Independents' Association Cup (IAC) semi-finals on first try. First team to win the IAC on second try. First team to successfully defend the IAC. The things just keep coming in and coming in. Despite the retirement of some players along the way, everything seems to go Poafmersia's way. However, we constantly ask ourselves whether we are actually there. Sometimes the team is able to pull off nice performances. Other times the team slips up randomly without reason. Just like how our Red Panjias messed up her first Cup of Harmony appearance, failing to get out of the group stage despite being favourites to advance. Last qualifiers, Poafmersia slipped up with losses to Delaclava and draws to Southwest Eastnorth, Silver Commonwealth, Euran Oceania Territories - teams who clearly are beatable opponents when we are at our 70% effort. Those have constantly plagued the Poafmersian team, raising the issue of consistency, as well as the our ability to put forth results under pressure. Not that Katiri Hedge or Adnan Suliaha have thought that the team cannot do it.

For people familiar with Poafmersian football history, they would know that Adnan Suliaha has been the person behind the formation of the national team. He was the person that united the nation behind international sports as a thing to look forward to. He led the team to a Bronze Medal at the 71st Baptism of Fire, and 2 IAC titles. And he is still leading the team today, a whole 10 years after he first made the proposal to the government to strengthen the football culture in Poafmersia by setting up a nation-wide football league and a national team. Poafmersia is now in the top 32 associations globally, a feat achieved after just 3 years of entering into the International Federation of Club Football (IFCF) competitions, and has won 2 Federação de Futebol Independente (FFI) club titles in the first 4 years. Just imagine the capabilities of Poafmers on the global stage.

And here we are. World Cup Qualifiers 87. We finally got to open a qualification campaign at home, welcoming Bongo Johnson to the 68,000-seater Libira National Stadium. And it was a statement that the team wanted to present to the group - that Poafmersia is completely capable of putting in strong performances when they have to. Adnan Suliaha placed a bunch of new comers, untested players into the team. Ariel Casey, the Dalaris Sports FC player who has been putting in nice performances to get a call-up, was starting his first WCQ match and getting his 6th cap. Suzanne Trengove is getting into goal. Mitchel Rosales, who went to Quebec to play club football, was getting his first cap alongside Nasri Sanchez. Natalia Abbott rounds up the backline. In the 3-man midfield, it would be Arnold Shwentin, Nero Wood and Woden Sweet. Even in front, it was Joel Haodao, wearing the captain's armband, alongside Whitney Rios and Aleka Dufour. Among all 11 players, only 1 player - captain Joel Haodao, who has been here since the very begining. And the entire team averages around 25.1 years of age. (Though we aren't sure about that of the opposition because no ages were given in their roster.) It would be captain Joel Haodao that leads by example, with a long range screamer from 30 yards to open the scoring in the 6th minute. A brilliant through ball by Arnold Shwentin found Whitney Rios, and Rios simply tapped in to make it 2-0 for the hosts. Rios later headed in another goal in the 41st minute after a cross by Nero Wood. After the break, even though Bongo Johnson found a goal, the offence continued to bash through with Aleka Dufour doing a selfless pass to Joel Haodao to ensure Poafmersia maintain their 3 goal cushion. Aleka Dufour himself later added a goal in the 79th minute, a solo effort where he caught the opposition midfielder Donald Smith sleeping. He took the ball, dribbled past Jonathan Hamblett and Bolzak Teebaghar, and made for goal himself after beating the keeper one-on-one.

Overall, the players were particularly happy that they got hold of such a big win. In fact, it would be the joint 4th largest win of the matchday, with only Sajnur, Zwangzug and Kohnhead netting a larger win with a 5-goal margin. Joel Haodao was extremely happy that the team of youngsters was able to carry the fort - in fact, according to him, it gives the coaching team a "selection headache" in the next matches against Southwest Eastnorth and Squornshelan Remnant States, two very familiar foes. "Now our familiar opponents would realise that even though the team has changed, the ability is still there. They are the ones that should be scared, not us."

Poafmersia 5
Joel Haodao 6', 64' (assist by Dufour)
Whitney Rios 27' (assist by Shwentin), 41' (assist by Wood)
Aleka Dufour 79'

Bongo Johnson 1
Bongald 55'

Lineup for Poafmersia (4-3-3): Suzanne Trengove; Ariel Casey, Mitchel Rosales, Nasri Sanchez, Natalia Abbott; Arnold Shwentin, Woden Sweet, Nero Wood; Joel Haodao (c), Aleka Dufour, Whitney Rios
Substitutes: Simone Gori (Sanchez 74'); Gisiik Moonar (Shwentin 84')

by **Megistos** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:22 am

Megistos Is Mega-Win

Bagged a win in Matchday 1! Hooray! Maybe this year will be the one we qualify... probably not. It isn't the biggest achievement beating a Pot 6 team, but as a Pot 5 team, we're still fine, considering it wasn't close... at all. We beat up Sulsuland's team hard, so we might do good against higher ranked opponents, but don't count on me to be optimistic.

'Neptune's Palace' is still roaring, even after the game, where a lot of the fans were confused between speaking the native language of Sulsuland and Megistia English. A couple of fights were there, but nothing too serious that Apollo's Medics, which were in the stadium at the point, should be worried about.

On the field, there wasn't even a fight. Robertson would bag 2 early in the match, in the 12th and 18th, and Jorgenson would seal things up with a nice and soft header in the 56th minute, where even then they were playing the defensive game.

Now we look to the future, also known as the next matchday in the World Cup. On the second matchday we face Maccian. Not a team to mess with, the Pot 3 side will surely make a challenge for the Turtles, one they might not be able to succeed in. The optimists would hope for a draw, but as I said before... I'm not one of them.

Don't forget about Matchday 3 either, which comes shortly after Matchday 2. This one, you can hope for a small loss, at best, as we face The Holy Empire. However, r' boys will never stop fighting! Go Megistos!

by **Transvolcanic** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:27 am

Posto di Impero: The next dark age of soccer is near (January 11th 2182) *Transvolcanic calendar
By Giorgio Schellini

Transvolcanic was put in group 12, which is a very tough group for the nation as they are still unexperienced in international football, the first opponent was Darkmania, which seeing the form of the players it was expected for them to win, but not with a 0-3 result, this questioned if Teófilo Koralski, the recent appointed manager, had the enough experience to manage the national team, as Augusto Campuzano, who departed to join FSC Meowliph in TransLiga A, started better the last qualifiers and made a good paper during his period

After the match Keinri Öctagôn, the team’s star, was asked about the empty football they showed against Darkmania:
“No words, we are supposed to win but we did the bear today”

Later Pablo Colín was asked about his poor saves:
“This happens when you don’t play for a lot of time, yes I have part of this mistake, we have to be conscious that we lack of experience in World Cups but it isn’t a justification to fall in a 0-3 result, or we play better in the next games, or I think we will be just here to be clowns or take a trip or whatever place you can think about”

Ferdinand Faibermann injured at half time but he would return in 3 days. He stated the next in Twitcher:
“Sad to have injured in the first match, even sadder to see a team falling apart, where is the team we promised @TeofiloEntrenador45?” Referring to Teófilo Koralski,who still doesn’t know that he posted that text on Twitcher

Ronald Medehlfeller, the vicepresident of the AFT (Transvolcanic Football association) declared after the game to a periodist whose name is Daniel Fuentes the next words:
“You ask if we made the correct decision? Leave that to (Ilian) McLoughin, who was in charge of searching a manager, I haven’t lost the hopes and if we return home in 4th place, I think everyone go shut their mouths, if we finish last or in a bad position, I would sincerely resign from this boat, it is just the first game, not just for a game we are going to kill ourselves, we got a lot more of games but we aren’t going to be humilliated every time, expect to win at least 3 or 6 matches, it is obvious we aren’t ready for a World Cup group stage but hey, let’s try and if it comes, be happy and enjoy it, question our decisions when we are halfway the qualifiers”

The next opponents for the cats are Equestria (being played at Xilophon Tech Park) and Beepee, which are tough opponents in group 12

Other interesting news:
-Propane gas tanks explode by accident, 3 injured
-Jesuita de Casas suffers a blast on its electrical centre, 4 dead, electricity restablished at 50%
-Messiasland, the Rust series that broke U2be records

by **Trigel** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:33 am

13' Zvonimir Kordic hits the crossbar for Terre Septentrionale!
17' Zulnt Talanin forces a save from Vainquer.
38' Cwierczakiewiczowa scores for Terre Septentrionale from an assist by Fontaine!
45+4' Half Time!
54' Ivan Dzeko hits the post!
58' 'Elisabeth Normandin for Terre Septentrioanale gets a yellow card!
60' Bruyn Malaniski is injured, Kloser goes in for him.
69' Waclawczyk scores for Terre Septentrionale!
75' Ivan Dzeko scores for Trigel!
90' Bakanin earns a corner.
90+2' ZULNT TALANIN SCORES TO LEVEL IT UP!

INTERVIEW

Interviewer: Coach Salvoinen, how do you feel about the game today?
Pico Salvoinen: Oh, the lads did well first match internationally, there were some aspects that could've been better.
Interviewer: How do you think your team is going to finish in the group?
Pico Salvoinen: Well, they are young some what experienced I'm not expecting to qualify I think we might place around 4th.
Interviewer: Do you think that is a good spot to finish in?
Pico Salvoinen: Yes, it is pretty good for our first year. I wasn't expecting to even make it in to the qualifiers!
Interviewer: Hope you have a great next match day had fun talking!
Pico Salvoinen: Yep, thanks for having me.
Terre Septentrionale

(O.O) · by **TJUN-ia** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:02 am

By Peter Davis

One of the best days on the sporting calendar finally arrived: World Cup Qualifiers Opening Day. While the results of tonight's match-ups may not be representative of where everyone will be on MD18, many still see it as important to get off on the right track while you can. David Seems looked to do that as well as his 4th World Cup at the helm of the Jaguars began in TJUN-ia City, hosting the brother of the World Champs in the Pot 4 Busoga Islands.

On a night that always produces chaos and big stories, the big story here at the National Stadium was just how good the Islanders were tonight in an arena that claims to be the "home of TJUN-ian football" but can't push the national team to a win most of the time. It was like that tonight as well, with Busoga clearly the better team in the first half. The first goal in the journey belonged to Sarika Birla in the 25th minute, with Upanshu Paramartha joining her on the scoresheet in the 43rd. The break came with the Jags 2-0 down at home, a feat we usually see at the National Stadium indeed.

That isn't to say TJUN-ia didn't try to fight in this game: they certainly did and the first few minutes of the 2nd half proved just that. Before the game, there was great debate over who would score TJUN-ia's first goal of this WC campaign. The answer turned out to be Pedro Vasquez in the most shocking way, sending a free-kick over the wall to curl past Mustafa Taal in the 64th and give the home fans some hope of getting something out of this tie. Bethany Donnell didn't like that at all and so she crushed those hopes a few minutes later, substitute Ilke Akgun providing a superb assist for captain Kamu Jacobs to tap in in the 68th. From there, nothing much of note and on this crazy night, it was Busoga who came out on top in TJUN-ia City.

We begin at the bottom but with a way to make our way back up. The 3rd Interim UWC remains with the Commonwealth of Baker Park despite their 1-1 draw in North Japan but Al-Quirja wasn't so lucky, losing the OG UWC belt in Siovanija and Teusland. As for us, it back to the back-to-back games with a road trip to Hispinas up first before we host unranked but intriguing Nacaltora in Szensky. The long road to glory has begun. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group 3) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: vs Busoga Islands (79) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-3 (T-9th)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD2: @Hispinas (315)
MD3: vs Nacaltora (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD4: @Central Shaneville (UR) - Red Bull Arena, Shaneville City
MD5: vs Cassadaigua (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD6: @Flavovespia (41) - Highland Road, Hadford Hill
MD7: vs Muralos (259) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD8: @Havynwilde (126)
MD9: vs Acronius (100) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD10: @Busoga Islands (79) - The Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, North Island
MD11: vs Hispinas (315) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD12: @Nacaltora (UR)
MD13: vs Central Shaneville (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD14: @Cassadaigua (4) - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights
MD15: vs Flavovespia (41) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD16: @Muralos (259) - Komcatt Arena, Urbego (?)
MD17: vs Havynwilde (126) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
MD18: @Acronius (100) - Atlas Arena, Defense

by **Tumbra** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:10 am

OOC: Please ignore the timing of my previous RP. Due to a brain fart I kept thinking the previous year was 2019. This is the correct timeline and the earlier RP has been amended as such.

Dunsford, Westmond
29 December 2020
6:06am

While the press had been left to take their photos and the crime scene investigators had arrived, cordoned off the area and began taking photos of the car, Wilkinson and Brent had long left the scene with Locke in tow. Because he had instantly been deemed a high risk subject, Borden had tagged along as well, with Stephanie following up behind. By this time, other the 6 cars the police station owned were deployed at the scene.

Locke had refused to answer any and all questions directed at him after knowing he had been put under arrest. The detectives had been unable to get a single peep out of him. Then the Commissioner decided this case would be referred to the Federal Police, and that the Head of the Serious Crimes Division was on his way to Dunsford to see what was going on.

Before hauling him into the car, Wilkinson took a long, deep look at the subject. Clad in a brown coat and grey slacks, his dark eyes seemed to stare straight into space. He simply looked disarming - good-looking enough to attract most of the press attention while he was there, his curly hair and horn-rimmed glasses giving off the impression of someone who'd just passed out of university. His identity card number, however - GA-91037497-4F - indicated otherwise. He was 29. His thin frame simply didn't give off the impression of someone who'd have that in his car, much less be responsible for the disappearances of about 15 women so far.

He'd been in the force long enough, however, to know that looks weren't everything.

The ride back to the police station was tense. Locke was sat in the middle of the two officers, his demeanour calm and reserved, and with zero hint of any expression on his face. He'd put up no resistance, making the situation eerily tense. He'd posed zero escape risk, hadn't resisted arrest, and had generally proved to be the perfect arrestee, but the general consensus was that it should be three officers escorting him, because he just didn't sit right with the higher-ups.

Brent didn't like it when the subject was quiet. He preferred boisterous, rowdy subjects - at least then their rants would provide cause for laughter after shift, during debrief over a cup of hot coffee before the team all headed home. But he knew that this was bad, and would likely become a fixed point in time (which was how he humorously liked to refer to memories that particularly stood out, or had been etched into his mind so much), from the moment he looked at the scene inside the car. What should have been inside was a couple of seats, maybe with a bag or two, and a routine check would've revealed that nothing was amiss - particularly with someone like him - but instead what they saw was worn-out upholstery, with clear signs of a struggle - several struggles, at that -, a baseball bat with no baseball glove inside, the presence of a ski mask, zip ties amongst others, and what looked like a cast.

A cast? That was the strangest thing to be in there.

6:45am

The car pulled into the secure dock where they handled accused subjects. Wilkinson gingerly unlocked the doors, the trio walked into the police station, with Brent and Borden on either side of Locke, holding on to his arms, dwarfing the poor man, while Wilkinson followed up behind. Locke struggled to walk in the early morning cold - as a Georgian native, he was definitely more used to heat and humidity, not the cold of Westmond - but staggered into the police station.

As the lift took them to the holding area, Wilkinson's voice boomed.

"We'll skip the usual procedures. This one's special, and we've cleared him already. Get us a room."

"Number 7 is clear."

The three officers moved Locke to Interview Room 7 - a nondescript room with just a table and two chairs - sat him down, chained his handcuff to the table, and left.

"I'll handle the damn arrest report. This needs to be perfect. It's going all the way up. You go get some rest." Wilkinson sighed as he left the room.

"He doesn't look like someone who'd disappear other people."

"Don't think about it too much, huh? Just get some rest and let me handle it. And get ready."

"For?"

"Whatever happens next." Wilkinson tossed the key towards Brent, then turned and walked off.

by **Wrecker** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:15 am

Inkopolis City Stadium, Inkopolis, Squidroidia
Match 1 of the World Cup 87 qualifiers: Wreckeria v. Squidroidia
The clock read “65:23”, and the score was 0-0. All match, Wreckeria and Squidroidia had been pretty much equal. The Inklings had their shots. The Bulldogs had their shots. It had been a snug, clean game of football, and fans all over Wreckeria had been, to say the least, relieved that they could hold their own against a team that was expected to roll over them. 84th ranked Squidroidia was considered the favorites in this match, and all the Wreckerians hoped to do was “not suck completely.”

But then, there was a breakaway. Cale Wyatt and Sig Justice saw an opening in the Inkling defense they hadn’t seen previously, and they exploited the hell out of it. The two passed the ball between each other up the pitch, before sending it to Claude Tindall, Wreckeria’s star striker. Claude had a huge smile on his face. This was their chance to put Wreckeria up 1-0. He took the pass from Justice, onsides, and then raced a little further up the pitch, faked goalkeeper Takemoto Shingen twice, and then fired it into the back of the net to give the Wreckerians a 1-0 lead.

All of Wreckeria was in ecstasy. Their boys were not expected to do much in this match, much less be competitive with a team considered superior in every way. Claude spotted a TV camera and marched his way over there, pointing to it and ranting and raving all the way.

“DON’T YOU EVER COUNT US OUT!” Claude shouted as he made his way to the camera. “WE ARE WRECKERIA AND WE’RE GONNA WHIP YOUR ASS!”

It was the kind of swagger a nation like Wreckeria needed badly. The butt-monkeys of Atlantian Oceania and the multiverse, it so seemed, the nation hadn’t had many reasons to be confident in itself lately. There was serious talk about the coalition government collapsing, a government formed in a peace deal following 54 years of civil war. The economy had collapsed. People were out of work. Halsted, Wreckeria’s capital, was becoming more and more of a dystopian hellscape by the day. Wreckerians needed a hero, someone to cheer for, someone to look to.

And at that moment, that hero was Claude Tindall. Claude wasn’t bothered with the circumstances, nor was he bothered with what anyone else said about him and his team. They were there to fight, and there to win. They were there to show the rest of the world that Wreckeria wasn’t going to be pushed over anymore.

It so seemed that after Tindall scored in the 66th minute, Wreckeria seemed to turn up the heat even more on the Inklings of Squidroidia. Tackles were that much more intense. Keeper Harold Leslie was even more hell-bent on maintaining the clean sheet and saving every shot he could, regardless of how much he had to dive, fly through the air and roll around. He took the best shots from the Inklings and stopped every one of them.

But the Wreckerians, try as they might, couldn’t get another goal on the board, thanks to the shrewd defensive work of players like Muto Toki and Umezaki Moronobu, among others. Claude would break away with his eyes set on a second goal, and the ball would either be stolen or he’d be physically separated from it in a very smart way. It almost seemed as if the Inklings turned the heat just as much, determined to get the ball back and score an answer to the Tindall goal. It was a brilliantly-played game of football. It was physical without getting chippy, it was intense without getting out of hand, and it was a joy to watch. But when the referee blew his final whistle, the Wreckerians were still on top of Squidroidia, 1-0.

Some could say the Bulldogs got lucky on a chance and made the most of it. It wasn’t as if they had comprehensively outplayed the Inklings – hell, it seemed as if both teams were on equal footing throughout the entire match. But the team had found an opening and made the most of it. They had found one opportunity given to them, and they did not blow it. They had gone up against a very good football team and come out on top, regardless of how lucky they may have been that day.

With the Squidroidia match out of the way, the Wreckerian National Football Team traveled home to Halsted to prepare for the next match in a few days’ time. They would be facing the Tornado Queendom, a team that Wreckeria knew very little about, except for the fact they had lost 2-0 to Frestovenia during their first match. With little known about the team, little information on the team and its players, and film from one match to go off of, the WNFT figured they’d just train for a generic opponent.

“We’re just going up against 11 faceless players,” head coach Marvin Byrnes told the Wreckerian Sports News. “We don’t know who these people are, if they even are people. I don’t know if they’re going to be hyper-offensive, or if they have a really acrobatic defense, or if we’re going up against 11 players that wish they were Nathan Ellis. So, for all intents and purposes, we’re just preparing for a generic game. Hopefully it’ll work out.”

Headlines around Wreckeria:
Halsted Tribune: “PRESIDENT MARTIN VOWS TO KEEP COALITION AFLOAT”
Minortown Sentinel: “TRUE WRECKERIANS: ‘COALITION UNFAIR TO US’”
Fairfield Ledger: “SALMONELLA OUTBREAK AT RESTAURANTS HERE”
Sprague Times: “WRECKERIA LOOKS TO HAPILOPPER, REST OF AO FOR ECONOMIC HELP”

by **Central Shaneville** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:17 am

A GOOD FIGHT BUT NOT ENOUGH
The Central Shaneville camp is a tiny bit deflated today following a narrow loss to Flavovespia in their first match of their World Cup qualifying campaign, Jay Bucks was seen on the touchline with his head in his hands crouched down as the late winner from the Flavovespia striker Ramon Martin following some sort of miscommunication in the Central Shaneville defense.

Pundits believe that Central Shaneville's more attacking style of play helped them in the first half however this wore them out over the second half causing the miscommunication in the defense, despite this both nations players shook hands after the game with Central Shaneville striker David Vujanic saying "It's great to visit new places, we were unlucky today but the World Cup has never been a strong point of ours."

Jay Bucks couldn't really think of anything positive to say after what had happened (hence why he is a somewhat controversial figure back home in Central Shaneville.) "They played better than us in the closing stages but I'm going to be having strong words with that defense of ours." he said sighing clearly the tense-ness of the match had got to him as the image of him on the touchline crouched with his head in his hands made national news back home in Central Shaneville with some fans questioning whether Bucks is the right man to lead Central Shaneville.

by **Lorrana** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 8:49 am

Matchday 2/3 Double Header: Pre-Game

Mexi Catcha vs Lorrana
While the Mexi Catchan media and team has stayed quiet during this tournament, we do know that they are a pot 9 team. Lorrana, being a pot 10 team, will probably give Mexi Catcha a run for their money.

Expected result: draw

Lorrana vs Grearish Union
Last World Cup, Grearish Union finished last place in their group, despite being in the top half of the rankings. Grearish Union was ranked into Pot 6 for this event, but we can expect that they won't perform as well as their ranking indicates. Lorrana might be able to squeeze something out of this game.

Expected result: draw

Pre-Match Press Conference

Q: You allowed Yuezhou to score three times within a span of 9 minutes. What happened?

Lorrana Manager Ikot Anop: Our defense got tired out and we couldn't keep up with their faster players. We're actually doing drills right now specifically on preventing that next time.

Q: There have been rumors of a falling out between you and player Azi Baddim. Are they true?

Anop: No, they simply are false.

Q: Coming off of a loss, how confident are you going into the next games?

Anop: We're actually pretty confident. Mexi Catcha is just one pot above us so we have a decent chance.

Q: How does it feel to be managing a team into their first every competitive tournament?

Anop: It feels great, really. I owe it to the players for their dedication and hard work.

Anop: I will not take any more questions, thank you.

Lorrana star soccer player congratulates Yuezhou on win

by **Banija** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:01 am

Introduction to the "Latter-Day Soldiers", one of the official supporter's groups of the Kadongo Kamu

The Latter-Day Soldiers are one of the three major supporters groups of the Kadongo Kamu, who often sit together and collaborate together for cheers and such at Banijan home and away games. The Latter-Day Soldiers are more of a right-wing supporters group- getting their name as a play off of Banija's official religion, the Puritan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

The Latter-Day Soldiers are not known for their political views, however. What distinguishes them from their fellow supporters groups are their innovations for chants, plus their marching band. Where allowed, they bring plenty of musical instruments to games, and are known as the most adept at coming up with cheers among the three main Banijan supporters groups, and have instruments alongside- drums, trombones, trumpets, whatever the like.

They are seated next to the other's supporter's groups, and each supporter's group is allowed to bring 1,000 people to sit in their section at each home game. For neutral site games at major tournaments, each of the three supporter's groups are given 10% of the allocation, with an upper limit of 1,000 per game. At away games, each supporter's group is given 25% of the Banijan allocation, with no upper limit on how many tickets that can be. So yes, supporter's groups in Banija are guaranteed 75% of the ticket allocation to an away game.

The Latter-Day Soldiers are also known for dressing up in all white at games.

A sample from the Latter-Day Soldiers Chant book

People wanna know
Tune

Leader: Everywhere we go!
Crowd: Everywhere we go!
Leader: People Wanna know!
Crowd: People Wanna know!
Leader: Who we are!
Crowd: Who we are!
Leader: So we tell them!
Crowd: So we tell them!
Leader: We are the CHAMPS!
Crowd: We are the CHAMPS!
Leader: The World Cup 86 Champs!
Crowd: The World Cup 86 champs!

Banija's Call!
Tune

This is the day for the Kadongo Kamu,
We will claim the trophy for our glory!
We will leave as victors and we will sing,
Our Latter-Day melody of triumph!

Banija, Banija
Together standing tall!
Shoulder to shoulder,
We'll answer Banija's call!

Standing along the mighty Jinja,
From Busukuma and from Istria!
From Herzegovina and Bwubanza,
From all cities and villages of Banija!

Banija, Banija
United we will not fall!
Together, together,
We'll answer Banija's call!

We strike fear in our opponents,
The heart of eighty-six is in us!
Our destiny as winners- as champions,
Will be proven on the pitch against all!

Banija, Banija
United we will not fall!
Together, together,
We'll answer Banija's call!

Banija will win today!
Tune

B-A-N-I-J-A
Banija will win today
We were crowned at Tundra Falls
World Cup Champions
This will happen once again

Hail Our Kadongo Kamu
Tune

Hail! Our Kadongo Kamu
Hail! to the World Cup winners
Hail! Hail! to Banija
the leaders and best
Hail! Gitonga Kahara
Hail! our own Marcus Waters
Hail! Hail! to Banija,
the champions of the world!

We sing for them
We sing and shout for them
For Banija, we sing for Banija
We sing with pride and song
Our voices ring
We sing of eighty-six!

Hail! to the Kadongo Kamu
Hail! to the World Cup winners
Hail! Hail! to Banija
the leaders and best
Hail! to our Galacticos
Hail! to Ilman and Kuma
Hail! Hail! to Banija,
the champions of the world!

Joy to the World
Tune

Joy to the World! Banija reigns
As champions today!
We will take on all comers
And we'll bury all others!
As we will score today
And we will win this game!
And all men will sing
Of Ba-ni-ja!

Banija sings! Of triumph
As we will win today!
Ilman Idai or Madu
Will score our goal today!
And we will win this game
As we triumph today
As we will triumph
On this great day

Winning Team Losing Team
Tune
Only used when Banija is winning in the second half

Leader: Is that not the scoreboard? (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Crowd: Yes that is the scoreboard! (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Leader: Is that not a [Banija's score]? (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Crowd: Yes that is a [Banija's score]! (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Leader: Is that not a [Losing team's score]? (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Crowd: Yes that is a [Losing team's score]? (Gestures towards the scoreboard)
Leader: Are we not the winning team? (Gestures towards the Banijan bench)
Crowd: Yes we are the winning team! (Gestures towards the Banijan bench)
Leader: Are they not the losing team? (Gestures towards the opponent's bench)
Crowd: Yes they are the losing team! (Gestures towards the opponent's bench)
Crowd: Winning team! Losing Team! Winning team! Losing team! (Gesturing back and forth from the Banijan bench to the opponent's bench)

by **Frestovenia** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:02 am

Two headers ensure the victory over the Tornado Queendom

Frestovenia (debutants in this qualifying campaign) won its first qualification match against the Tornado Queendom. The match at the Asvard Stadium was won by 2-0 and goes into the history books as the first victory for the Frestovenians in an official match. Goals from forwards Gajetser and captain Artvikker ensured the win and the first three points.

It was the team of the Tornado Queendom that started the match well by showing themselves multiple times in the penalty area of the Frestovenians. A few minutes later the team sink in a bit and that resulted in chances for the home team. Midfielder Gunter Palrikken (good for one goal in the friendly against Lorrana a few days ago), appeared in the box of the opposition and had a big chance to take the lead in this match. His shot went well over the bar. The first goal came from Frestovenian forward Tonas Gajetser. His header was send inside the top left post of the goal. Only three minutes later the super talented Olaf Artvikker made another goal. It was another brilliant header that found the net. The second half was nothing compared to the first. Both teams came close, but not that close to score a goal, however late in the second half there was a penalty claim by the players of the Tornado Queendom, but the referee was not convinced enough and decided to do nothing with the claim. A strong performance by the Frestovenian side. The good result will give a lot of confidence for the upcoming matches. Tomorrow the team will play two more qualifiers against Icecliff (home) and Barunia (away).

MATCH REPORT:

Frestovenia 2-0 Tornado Queendom
@Asvard Stadium, Asvard

39' Gajetser
42' Artvikker

TIMELINE:
Only shows important events in this match

01'|The match has started.
04'|A player from (Tornado Queendom) sweeps the ball towards the middle of the goal, but the Frestovenian goalkeeper comes with a save.
07'|Gunter Palrikken (Frestovenia) finds himself in a great position and goes for goal, but it never troubles the goalkeeper and flies well over the bar.
14'|Klaus Vage (Frestovenia) misses a good chance to score. Vage rises for a header, but sends the ball well over the bar.
38'|Sven Ogsen (Frestovenia) is booked after bringing down an opponent. Yellow card for him.
39'|GOAL! Tonas Gajetser (Frestovenia) places his sweet header inside the left post. The goalkeeper had no chance to make a save. (1-0).
42'|GOAL! That's fast! Runert Jartute (Frestovenia) swings the ball deep into the box and finds Olaf Artvikker. His header flies into the middle of the goal. (2-0).
45'|There will be 1 minute of added time.
45+1'|Half time. The referee blows his whistle for the end of the first half.

46'|The referee blows his whistle for the start of the second half.
46'|Just seconds after the start of the second half the Tornado Queendom comes with the first chance. A shot flashes inches over the top of the goal.
55'|Olaf Artvikker (Frestovenia) receives a lofted pass from the flank and shoots from close range, but the ball flies slightly wide.
71'|Players from (Tornado Queendom) claim that Sven Ogsen (Frestovenia) handled the ball inside the box and it seems they are right.
72'|The referee decided to not give the penalty. The players of the Tornado Queendom are unhappy with the call.
76'|Rot Norvatse (Frestovenia) challenges an opponent and receives a yellow card for his ugly tackle.
81'|Not much is happening in the final minutes of this match. 9 minutes left!
90'|The fourth official shows 4 minutes of added time.
90+3'|The referee shows a yellow card to a player from the Tornado Queendom for his foul.
90+4'|That was it for today! Frestovenia wins and takes the well deserved three points.

Statistics|Possession: 55% / 45% | Shots: 13 / 6 | Shots on target: 6 / 3

PLAYER OF THE MATCH:

Tonas Gajetser (Scoring the first goal for Frestovenia in an official match)

OFFICIAL BROADCASTER

by **Graintfjall** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:41 am

The front page of græpædia, the online encyclopedia about all things Græntfjall, after MD1.

From today’s featured article
Steinaux’s 2019 – 2020 season was the 21st season of the multi-sports club competing in the Græntfjaller Premier League, and the 1st in which they played at their new home ground, the Grander International Arena. Following an exodus of notable Græntfjaller national team players Hlégestur Snæþórsson, Bríana Noahsdóttir, and Justiina Dannysdóttir, the squad was fortified by the acquisition of players including Farf striker Çè Quîrîjá, Mriin striker Paan Kleveir – a satyr who became the first non-human to play in the GPL – and Yuezhuese midfielder Li Jing. New defenders included Zakariya McArthur from Ethane and Giles Smith from Flavovovovovovovespia. Steinaux finished the season as champions after a frenetic final day which saw central defensive lynchpin Hjörleifur Reynarsson score from an 87th minute corner to put them ahead of rivals Gunzlach, who could only manage a draw with Folte. Steinaux fared less well in cup and IFCF competitions.

In the news
Græntfjall opens diplomatic relations with Silvedania
The solar-powered aircraft Gæfa touches down in Altendalur having completed a circumnavigation of Rushmore
Græntfjall dispatches an aid mission to Montaña Verde to assist with recovery from a magnitude 7.5 earthquake
Addý Þjóstólfsdóttir, feminist author and pioneer of legal reforms that emancipated Græntfjaller women, dies aged 91
Græntfjall draws the opening game of their World Cup 87 qualifying campaign 1 – 1 against Kandorith
Ongoing: 15th Winter Olympics · Laafjörður protests

DID U NO…
… that this year’s Háttmark GTT Para Doubles champion Járngrímur Danivalsson has also won a national title in para-badminton?
… that the Kvikmyndahús Vetrargarður in Háttmark still shows silent movies accompanied by its original 1920 cinema organ?
… that Baldur Hátun, a close follower of mystic preacher Tímoteus of Nárm, went on to become one of the founders of the Græntfjaller Communist Party?
… that the merchant car ferry KS Monoctenocera brachiella was awarded a battle honor for service during the War of Restoration?
… that Jason Þórhallursson holds the single-season goal record for Gunzlach FC, having grown up in an apartment overlooking the stadium where he would score his record-breaking goal?
… that researchers from the University of Griesberg have produced one of the first confirmed room-temperature superconductors?

On this day
International Taking A Shot For Every Face Punch in Road House Day
892 – Lughán records the first landing of Græntfjaller Viking raiders in his epic poem “These Guys Are Total Dicks”
1261 – Forces of the Græntfjaller Hegemony completed the final conquest of Nordurkrain (modern day Schudvík)
1902 – Socialist revolutionary Hólmbjörg Oddmarsdóttir assassinated Prince Vékell in Hintersfjörður as a response to the execution of the Terraschwarz Martyrs
1930 – The Communist International recognizes the new Græntfjaller regime over the objections of the government-in-exile
2014 – The first proton run is commenced in KKOG’s BUM-SMASH Super Collider

Today’s featured list
The lifetime of Elsa Niemi encompassed the early twentieth century. A member of the Kamdyr ethnic group, Niemi was the first dancer to incorporate traditional Kamdyr Yi-älä dance forms into the classical ballet repertoire. Her heterodox fusion of classical and folk elements was at first deeply controversial, but in time became accepted and led to the development of the distinctive Græntfjaller style of ballet. She was the last principal dancer of the Royal Ballet before its dissolution by the Græntfjaller Communist regime, but was able to continue as a member of the People’s Ballet. As a teacher, she emphasized a harmony of classical ballet with the Four Principles of Yi-älä: form, movement, balance, and not getting eaten by krakens. She performed extensively throughout Græntfjall but travel restrictions imposed by the People’s Government prevented her from touring overseas. As a result, while feted as one of the leading figures in the history of Græntfjaller ballet, she has earned little renown abroad. She is commemorated by a statue in the main hall of the (refounded) Academy of the Royal Ballet. (This list is part of a featured topic: Græntfjaller ballet.)
Recently featured: Græntfjaller Orienteering Championships · Ghost towns in the Græntfjaller West · Tributaries of the Ægissfluss

Today’s featured picture
The St. Sæmi Pass (Græntfjaller: Fjallaskarð Sankt Sæmi) (3,308 m) is a high mountain pass in the Græntfjaller Alps. Lying between the western slope of the Ísfjall and the eastern slope of the Kristóferfjall, it connects the sveitarfélags (municipalities) of Árberg and Grundrich. The closest settlement is the tourist resort of Borgarsdorf, hosting a variety of winter sports during the ski season and in summer offering rock climbing, hiking, and high altitude extreme ironing. During the Snowflake War, it was a key choke-point in the Battle of the Vaguely Suspicious Bulge. Forces loyal to General Sólbergur Methúsalemsson were eventually successful in opening up the Pass, permitting transit of supplies to reinforce fortified positions in the Alps. The road leading through the Pass is one of the highest paved roads in Græntfjall.
Recently featured: The Selhofen Gluppa · Saður Monastery Bell Tower · Portrait of Hávar Kveldúlfsson

by **West Zirconia** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:56 am

The Daily Herald

for all your World Cup news

Price WZC2.00

THE MEERKATS ARE BACK!

After their inexplicable hiatus, the Meerkats returned to World Cup action with a 4-2 defeat to former World Cup champions Farfadillis, a closer match than the scoreline suggests.

The 83,000-strong crowd at Manchester Street were expecting an entertaining match to announce the team’s reappearance, and they were certainly not disappointed. For one thing, they only had to wait three minutes for a goal. A rather hopeful clearance by Sam Carlisle fell fortuitously at the feet of winger Greg Clarke, who sprinted up the right wing and crossed to Tom Adamson, who made no mistake with his header.

This fired up the home team, and they nearly added a second six minutes later, Adamson’s seemingly unstoppable shot being theatrically palmed over the bar by goalkeeper Dieje Ibrelaná. This was the wake-up call the visitors needed, and they started to assert themselves, giving a hitherto underused Adam Horton plenty to do in the West Zirconia goal. The inevitable happened in the 35th minute, when Edmün Çídh volleyed in from a Emiliano Gallegas cross, levelling the match at 1-1.

Half-time came and went without further incident, and both teams seemed a little more cautious as the second half began. There was little goalmouth action for the first quarter-hour – the epic midfield battles between Connor French and Sürgân t'Öéséné being largely responsible. It was French, however, who broke the second-half deadlock in the 63rd minute. Çìríkò Ûsêtêrnìx pulled down Mark Heath just outside the penalty area, and French scored from the resulting free-kick in a manner that had older West Zirconians reminiscing about watching his father Ed work similar dead-ball magic.

Of course, the group’s top team were not going to take this lying down, and their efforts were rewarded in the 70th minute when substitute Horacio Bastanchury scored from a Gallegas corner. By this time the Meerkats were tiring, and any hopes they had of holding on for a draw vanished ten minutes later when Bastanchury broke West Zirconian hearts with the simplest of tap-ins after some confusion in the Meerkats’ defence. A second Edmün Çídh goal in stoppage time finally put paid to any hope of an upset.

On the strength of their performance in this match, things are looking up for the Meerkats. Next up are Bongo Johnson at their Murbley Coliseum. Despite a name that suggests they may be a nation of clowns, their ranking suggests otherwise.

Teams:
West Zirconia: Horton, Newby, Read (Mowbray 72), Carlisle, Hewitt, Humphreys, Byrne (Cadden 81), French (c), Clarke, Heath (Blair 72), Adamson.
Farfadillis: Ibrelaná, Exihosahar, Ûsêtêrnìx, Ànáxímane, t'Öéséné, Çí Xôrí, rue Cazade, Gallegas, Alxíkí (Pueyrredón 72), E. Çídh, R. Çídh (Bastanchury 65).

Scorers:
West Zirconia: Adamson (3), French (63)
Farfadillis: E. Çídh (35, 90+2), Bastanchury (70, 80)

by **Savigliane** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:59 am

Pemecutan 0 - 1 Savigliane
Lineup: Notari; Marchetti, Garcia, Blanco, Romano (LeClerc 64'); Vatrican, Giraudo (Dutto 79'), Toscani; Coste, Grimaldi, Barthelemy (Vitale 63')
Goals: Grimaldi 54'

MD2 lineup (v Kohnhead): Notari; Marchetti, Garcia, Blanco, Romano; Vatrican, Giraudo, Toscani; Coste, Grimaldi, Barthelemy
MD3 lineup (@ United Pink States): D'Ambrosio; Marchetti, LeClerc, Blanco, Romano; Petit, Auvergne, Toscani; Coste, Squarciafichi, Durand

L'ALPHA ET L'OMÉGA
The Voice of the Mercantores

IN LIMBO: FOREIGN FOOTBALLERS FACE POST-PORTAL PROBLEMS
NICOLAS GARCIA, sports

Three years ago, Devon Bradford took a risk. The Hibernian striker, fresh off a solid season with a midtable club in the Hibernian Premier League, decided to try his luck abroad, signing a lucrative deal with the SavigLega's Villeneuve NSC. "At the time, I knew it was kind of risky, moving everything to Savigliane like that," the now-31-year-old said in an interview recently, "But I kind of figured that the worst that could happen is that I'd lose a few seasons abroad and then head back home to play the rest of my career out." Of course, Bradford couldn't have predicted the catastrophes that would happen next - an entire nation uprooted from reality itself and transported to a different dimension. Cataclysmic as it was for Saviglianos, it was even worse for foreign nationals in the country at the time, who were left completely cut off from their homes, families, and countries of origin.

"I was supposed to be on a plane back home in a few hours," Bradford said of what is now formally known as the Savigliano Portal Event, but takes on a number of more melodramatic colloquial names, like "The Wrath of God" or "The Undoing". "But instead, you know...it happened, and I'm probably here for the rest of my life." Worse yet for Bradford, the obstructionist Ligue-Est ruling party has refused to provide a path to citizenship for him or properly recompense him for what he's lost, and even if he is able to obtain citizenship, his three Hibernia caps have apparently ruled him out of ever playing for Savigliane's national team, despite his goalscoring prowess. Because of this, Bradford's career is on thin ice - with no international career in his future, and his domestic career limited by the realities of post-Event immigrant life, it's no surprise to see the Hibernian begin to struggle with Villeneuve NSC. He's looked to the national team, saying that "we're all Saviglianos now, like it or not - this has affected all of us," but his appeals have repeatedly been denied by the FA.

The reality of Savigliane under Alphonse Duhamel's Ligue-Est leadership is that foreign nationals have relatively few protections under the law. Additionally, while Saviglianos have been handsomely compensated for lost property or relatives abroad, a point that Duhamel's campaign speeches have endlessly hammered into Savigliano politics, foreigners marooned in Savigliane have been treated considerably poorer...

Unlike our competitors on the other side of the mountains, we don't resort to DESPERATE PLOYS or ANIMAL CRUELTY in order to get a few extra clicks. We don't even need your subscription money to stay afloat! But you might as well subscribe to L'Alpha Et L'Oméga, because it's not like you're going to give your money to those puppy-killers instead, are you?

CORRIERE DELLA MONTAGNA
Pietrargenta's Only Real News Destination

OVERPAID FOREIGN DIVA'S NATIONAL TEAM ASPIRATIONS REJECTED
ALBERTO GIRAUDO, sports

Despite scoring just seven goals in a disastrous Villeneuve NSC campaign that saw his club flirt with relegation, Hibernian striker Devon Bradford has reportedly petitioned the FA to let him join Savigliane's national team. After joining Villeneuve NSC from abroad three years ago, and repeatedly being tipped by the foreign press as "too good for the SavigLega" and "Villeneuve NSC's next big hope", the foreign striker has instead flopped dramatically for the struggling second side of the nation's second capital. Now, in a recent exclusive with Ligurié's L'Alpha et L'Oméga, Bradford has reportedly pointed to the Ligue-Est government's foreign nationals policy, as well as the stress of the Event that all Saviglianos have also dealt with, as the culprits for his poor performance.

Yet even despite this, Bradford thinks that he could "really make an impact" on Tlanx-Nulzk Hal's new-look Savigliane side, believing his pace and "goalscoring prowess" (he's scored 26 in 65 matches since joining Villeneuve NSC, and with the departure of Sebastien Petit to CSKA Quebec this window, figures to be even less prolific next season) to fit the new style that the Red-and-Blues have been playing these qualifiers. The Qusma manager has remained silent on the issue, but the FA has, in a rare smart move from Jean-Luc Dubois, opted to rule that any player who's been capped for another national team, whether they exist in this reality or not, is ineligible to play for Savigliane. And that's as it should be - sure, we've all been whisked away through a portal to "Atlantian Oceania", but in these times of crisis, Saviglianos - and Saviglianos alone - still need something they can call their own...

L'Alpha et L'Oméga may not murder puppies to prove a point, but are you really going to read that trash newspaper instead of ours? Besides, the blood's not on our hands - it's on yours, unless you subscribe today!

by **Mercedini** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 11:26 am

87th World Cup Qualification MD1 LIVE
Sannyamathland vs. Mercedini
@ The Big Bowl International Stadium - Kaustuv San Math City, Sannyamathland

Good evening one and all and welcome to the beautiful Kaustuv San Math City in Sannyamathland. I'm sitting here in the gantry of the Big Bowl International Stadium as we await the first match of proceedings in this cycle's World Cup Qualification phase. Sannyamathland haven't been on the World Cup circuit for a long time, so this will be new territory for both sides with both sides facing each other for the first time. Mercedini emerge in this group from Pot 2, so they will be wanting a comfortable start to get their campaign off on the right foot. The Golden Eagles are one of many big names in the group, so it's unsurprising that that this first fixture has drawn the crowds over to the Big Bowl, with fans filling the three tiers of the stadium quite comfortably. Dini will go into this match as the favoured team, although these kids of settings are rife for an upset, and they have fallen to smaller sides prior to now. The home fans sense an upset, but can their players deliver tonight? We will have to wait and see.

0' - Out come the teams into a cauldron of noise and fanfare, both sets of fans are ready for this match in their distinctive colours. The United Soviet Republic are in their white and blue home kits, while Dini are in their black and blue home kits, matching the fans who are located far into the upper tier to my right. Their view isn't the greatest, although they won't care too much if the result goes their way tonight. Chillotov and Dostalok are back together for another match, as Billic names a strong squad to kick off their campaign, all of the big names are out in full force, so it is hoped for a strong showing is given to the away side as they set out their stall for a qualifying spot. The referee blows his whistle, giving Garzallo the cue to get us going for the first match of a long qualification schedule.

6' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - Just over five minutes gone in this match and it's already clear that these two teams will fight a hard fight in this game for those three points. The Sannya's midfield seems to be keeping the through balls of Nymark at bay thus far, the same can be said for the Mercedinian defence, with their attackers plus Garzallo and Presic combining well to hold the ball up and flush out any quick counter-attacking opportunity that Sannyamathland try and muster up. Both sets of fans are trying their best to make noise to spur on their side, with the home fans clearly the louder hanks to their numbers advantage. The only real chance of the game fell to the home side, where Savchancko found space to cross in the ball, but noone was there to edge the ball towards goal, and it was safely claimed by Hosset on the edge of his six-yard box. The two teams cancelling each other out at the moment, as it remains goalless early on, still plenty of time for someone to put their name up in lights.

13' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - Mercedini can see the prize ahead of them in this game and they are beginning to ramp up the pressure on their opponents, but Sannyamathland are withstanding everything and then some. Dostalok went close on the edge of he box, but his scuffed shot curled viciously and whistled wide of the post, not really giving Santos Jr in the home-side's goal any real trouble with the effort. As stated before, both sides are locking horns in the midfield with no sign of any team on top just yet, although both sets of attackers are working well with the scraps they are being offered. Despite the gulf in rankings, Sannya are giving as much as they are getting, although they are struggling to conjure up anything in front of goal to trouble the Mercedinian clean sheet.

16' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - I was just talking about how the home side haven't had too many chances to shout about, but they have just spurned the biggest chance of the game just past the quarter-hour mark. Brindliev was put under pressure an caught in possession by Mount, who quickly laid the ball off to Peter Philips who was darting forward in support. The youngster was jostling for position against Aznelik, with the home crowd in the Big Bowl Stadium upstanding for the chance to go ahead. Philips cut outside before flashing a shot towards the far post. Hosset was quick to react and got a touch to guide it wide of the post for a corner, which ultimately came to nothing. A chance at goal which may not come around too often, but Sannya are bridging the gap so far, and are keeping this one competitive.

23' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - Mercedini now ramping up the pace of this match, following that scare, as the fitness of their players are really beginning to show when it comes to the two teams. High pressure has now been adopted by Billic, a format that Mercedini were famous for adopting during their Golden Years. It is forcing their opponents to make riskier passes to keep it away from the Mercedinians, giving the team in blue and black a better sight at goal in recent minutes, but they have nothing to show for it as the home side dig in their heels. The only real chance so far is a couple of speculative effort on the edge of the box which either sailed wide of the post or safely into the clutches of Santos Jr, the goalkeeper. The match has gone up a gear, with both teams coping with this play so far, although fitness looks to be fading as each minute passes towards the half time whistle. Dini have about fifteen minutes left to score if they are to go ahead in the first half, it is a match of fine margins, any error could cost them.

29' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - Just when you thought the match were fading, both teams go and have a series of chances which seriously threatened the Mercedinian goal for the second time in this game. The first was a laced shot ont he half-volley from Nymark which flew majestically, the keeper was beaten but the shot just wasn't quite on target as it skimmed the top of the crossbar and out, some of the fans in the upper tiers thought it had gone in as it nestled on top of the net, but that joy was short lived as the referee signalled a goal kick. A couple of minutes later a quick one-two put Chubukov through on goal, but he took a fatally heavy touch and the ball was smothered by Hosset in the Mercedinian goal. A wake-up call for the Golden Eagles, but they have survived and look to move forward once again with the clock ticking away.

35' - (SAN 0-0 MRC) - Time is running out for Mercedini in the first half as both teams jostle for position on the pitch. The midfield has been where most of the battles have been fought, and it is where the ball is now has Nymark fights with his counterpart for the ball, but he lays it off to Karlovic who can look up to spot a pass. Neither team have utilised their wingers that much with Garzallo and Presic looking relatively isolated throughout this first half, let's hope they have some more action in the second half, still goalless in the Big Bowl.

40' - (SAN 0-1 MRC) -

GOAL! With all these near misses in this first half, you just knew something had to give. Dini open their account in this cycle through midfield youngster Karlovic whose fortunate shot cannoned into the net off the goalkeeper. Garzallo beat his marker and was barrelling down the wing before squaring to an arriving Dostalok, whose clipped shot was blocked by Vladinovich. Karlovic picked up the ball and hit the ball first time. That low drive was too hard and too fast for Santos Jr to keep out, as he could only parry the ball to the inner side netting of goal for 1-0. Karlovic cranes his neck upward to celebrate with the fans who are cheering down at them. That should settle some nerves, Dini lead 1-0 with the half coming to a close.

45+2' - (SAN 0-1 MRC) - After a rather frantic first half, Santos kicks the ball up field and the referee draws proceedings to a close with the first half whistle. It's been a game which has lived up to it's hype so far with plenty of half chances from both end, but it has been Mercedini's clinical edge which has given the Golden Eagles the lead at half time. Both teams have gone close multiple times but neither team had anything to show for it until the final five minutes, where a couple of chances in quick succession pulled the Sannya defence this way and that, to make way for a low Karlovic drive which the goalie could only parry into the net. Dini are not out of the woods yet in this match, but at the end of the first half, it's Sannyamathland 0, Mercedini 1.

HALF TIME
Sannyamathland 0 - 1 Mercedini
Karlovic 40'

An intriguing first half for the fans ended with Dini holding the narrowest of margins in this one. Plenty of positives from a defensive point of view, but that one goal lead isn't currently enough to make the points safe, with some errors made in the Mercedinian defence in the first half which could be damning if it happens again. Plenty to keep an eye on in this second half with the attackers hoping to put some more on the board for their respective teams. Whether they will or not remains to be seen, but this match is sure to be an encapsulating match for the fans and the neutrals. Another goal could do it, the margins are as fine as that.

46' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) -

WOW! I was talking about how one goal could sort it, but it didn't think it would come that quickly, if at all. It's taken Billic's men only 36 seconds to double their lead in the Big Bowl, and it's a much more familiar name on the scoresheet for Mercedini. Sannya kicked off and we're putting together a good series of passes before Brindliev broke up the attack with a strong sliding tackle. He then booted the ball upfield to Presic who muscled his marker off he ball, allowing him to break forward down the wing. He entered the box, took a quick glance up, and found Chillotov with a low driven cross. The Lajuno striker didn't need to take a second touch as he side-footed the ball into the net from five-yards out. Several of the couching staff were hounding the referee and the fourth official, claiming that Presic had committed a foul on Mbiki. However, the goal stood and Dini had a second less than a minute into this second half.

51' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) - Some of the spectators are still making their way back to their seats for this second half, only for their optimism turn sour as they see the big screen display differently to how it was at half time. On the pitch, it seems as if that quick start has taken all of the fight out of the home side as they fight on with all of the odds against them. Fair play to the fans, they are still singing and wishing their team on despite their setback. If there is a goal, it will likely come through V. I. Mount, he is the one pulling the strings in attack, he just can't find a clear sight at goal as of now. A chance for Sannya would be beneficial at this point, although it could very well be a tactic to lull the Golden Eagles into a false sense of security to get a goal back. Things aren't completely over just yet, the next goal (if there is one) will decide the direction as to where this match goes. Still 2-0 Dini.

58' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) - Time is ticking away from a supposed fightback in the Big Bowl, but Sannya are beginning to get a hold onto this game for the first time in the game. The 4-4-2 formation that Billic has put out is holding form for now, Brindliev and Toivonen are communicating well in central-defence, the longer they hold out, the quicker the resolve of these attackers will wear out. We're approaching the final half an hour in this game, is there going to be another twist in this tail?

63' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) - Sannyamathland finally have the ball in the net, but the joy of the fans hasn't lasted long as the goal is ruled out for offside as quick as the ball went into net. To be fair, it was an easy spot and VAR has already finished their check on the goal, and as the replays show, Mount was several yards offside as the ball flew over the top. Brindliev and his defenders were appealing for offside but play had to continue under the updated protocols. It seemed as if Hosset didn't even bother saving the ball, he just stood up and let Mount slot the ball past him. The flag went up as soon as the ball crossed the line, denying Sennya a route back into this game. Frustrating for the home fans, but in the end it was the right call. Still 2-0.

70' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) - Time is ticking away on Sannyamathland's fightback, and it's all hands on deck for the team in blue and black to hold out from another home barrage. Chebukov went close from a corner as his bullet header went straight down the throat of Hosset, anywhere else and it was a certain route back into the game. The tie has gone from Mercedini being comfortable to Sannyamathland fully in control of the ball in this match, but Dini are not the side that needs the ball right now. Every ticking second brings the away side closer to a big win which will put the group firmly in their grasp, and show that Dini still has that magic on the ball. The home side come forward once again, it's all set up to be a big finish in a match which was certainly billed as such.

83' - (SAN 0-2 MRC) - Mercedini are closing this game in a professional manner with less than ten minutes to go plus stoppage time. The Golden Eagles have just had the chance to settle it following a two-man counter attack featuring Chillotov and Garzallo in accompaniment. It came from a Sannyamathland corner which was caught by Hosset and immediately released towards Garzallo who was bounding forward, Chillotov joined him, meaning it was a 1-on-2 in favour of the Mercedinians going forward. Garzallo was entering the box and was looking to square it to Chillotov who would have had an open net to shoot at, but a brilliant sliding tackle from Chalov denied him the chance. It remains 2-0, the home side has kept the score competitive with that brilliant goal-saving clearance.

90+1' - (SAN 0-3 MRC) -

Goal... and finally the match has been put to bed by Chillotov who has bookended this half with cool finishes to dash the dreams of the home side. This time is came from a break from a corner as Sannya pushed hard to deny the Golden Eagles a clean sheet in this match. A header from Chalov was cleared off the line by Karlovic and cleared from the box Toivonen. The ball fortuitously fell to Garzallo who controlled it brilliantly inside the center circle under pressure from the last man. Chillotov was sprinting forward and was put through by Garzallo who managed to wriggle free of the last man. The home side put all their chips on red, but the ball landed on black (and blue) as the Lajuno frontman slotted the ball past the sprawling goalkeeper to put the game to bed. Modest celebrations from Chillotov as he celebrated a two goal haul and an all together professional performance from his team. Billic is applauding from the sideline, Dini make it 3-0 in added time.

90+3' - (SAN 0-3 MRC) - ...and that's all she wrote here in the Big Bowl. Mercedini have given an assured performance in the openingmatch of the group and have thorourghly beaten their lower-ranked opponents tonight. A deflected Karlovic drive combined with two cool finishes from Chillotov give the Pot 2 side a comprehensive win over their hosts, which sets them up nicely for future matches. Sannyamathland looked good for long period of this half, but they were simply hounded out of the match once Dini built up a head of steam. Following that, Mercedini will head into the second match day as the top of the group, joined by Pot 1 side Turori as the only two teams to win their first fixture. Up next for Mercedini will be San Ortelio in Zoloroni, but it's finished here in the Kaustuv San Math City; Sannyamathland 0, Mercedini 3!

FULL TIME
Sannyamathland 0 - 3 Mercedini
Karlovic 40', Chillotov 46', 90+1'

by **South Covello** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 1:05 pm

Deadline for Presidential Declarations Passes, Benitez to Face Multiple Challengers

The deadline to file as a candidate for the upcoming election for President of South Covello has passed, and a total of 327 candidates have filed to run against incumbnet Luisa Benitez. Although most of them are perennial joke candidates like Moses the Pant Ferret, Rodent Supremi, and no fewer than three people calling themselves Santa Claus, one of whom is a woman, there are some serious challengers who we will cover in this article. Benitez is of course the most popular President in the history of South Covello, having implemented numerous reforms such as universal healthcare, a living wage, free college tuition for those who need it, and a public testimony program which brought to light many previously unknown horrors of the Gregist regime both foreign and domestic. Any challenger will face an uphill battle. Of course, there will be an opening election as has been the case several times now, and if nobody gets a majority, the top two will advance to a runoff.

Jordan Wood claims to be the successor to the much maligned Carter Redwin, promising to "send women like Luisa the Nasty Woman back to the kitchen" and "purge South Covello of infidels such as Muslims, Jews, Blacks, and immigrants" and, of course, to "Make South Covello Great Again." One would hope South Covello has learned its lesson from Redwin, but nevertheless people will fear what happens if Wood wins.

Harold Underpod is running on an "anti-socialist" platform, decrying Benitez's economic reforms as "evil socialism" and promising to undo every last one of them. Although Benitez's reforms have generally been positively received, there are some who associate a state control of things with the Gregists, and Underpod has made sure to make use of that comparison, calling Benitez's government control "every bit as bad as the Gregists' evil ways. Socialism is death, where one worships the state as a God. Basically Lord Almighty Gregory 2.0."

Sally McGint is running on a more hawkish foreign policy than anyone since the disastrous John Green has shown, vowing that with the power vacuum created by the destruction of the Free Republics, South Covello should "strive to take their place as a force for good throughout the Multiverse, liberating all lands of wicked tyrants and feeding those tyrants to the beasts." There is understandably quite some concern given Green's Presidency ended in flames with him trying to invade every single country in the Multiverse pretty much. One hopes McGint does not suffer a similar fate if she wins.

Tru-D, a famous South Covellan rapper, is running as well. He has crazy wacked out policies including banning disco, killing the whales but protecting the dolphins, giving every South Covellan four free tacos and six free gallons of milk a month, providing every citizen with a cake on their birthday, and officially recognizing that space aliens exist, but also has some at least relatively mainstream, if controversial, policies such as banning all abortions, guaranteeing every citizen the absolute right to bear arms, and ending government welfare because "that's how the government keeps you poor." He is not expected to win, but given his celebrity nature, he is still worth keeping an eye on.

A poll released by SCNN today showed the following results:

Benitez: 31%
Underpod: 9%
McGint: 6%
Wood: 2%
Tru-D: 2%
Other: 6%*
Undecided: 44%

* - Voters who specified this option were then asked who they planned on voting for. It broke down as follows, with people marked with an * not being actual declared candidates. This represents share of the "Other" vote rather than share of the whole vote, which can be inferred.

David Hale*: 50%
Carter Redwin*: 31%
Moses the Pant Ferret: 5%
Rodent Supremi: 5%
John Green*: 2%
Melanoma Redwin*: 2%
Maria Polus*: 2%

The following answers were given by too few respondents for a statistically significant result, but again a non-zero number. Again, non-candidates are marked with an asterisk.

Coconut Charles*
Orlando Benitez*
Lord Almighty Gregory*
Busty Daniels
Klementine Kardeedoodoo*

Additionally, three responses were unclassifiable as they did not refer to a distinct person. They were "Giant Meteor", "A piece of [excrement]" and "Your Mom."

Candidates need to receive an average of 1% in surveys over the next three weeks to be included in the debates. All candidates currently recognized as major meet that threshold, and adult actress/late night TV star/Republican candidate impersonator/sensationalist author Busty Daniels is the only other candidate with a realistic shot of making it above that mark.

by **Gyatso-kai** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 1:44 pm

.:: East Parking Garage, National Sports Council, Republic City, Republic Capital Territory, Gyatso-kai ::.
1311 hours local time, 2 January 2021.1

As Hakoda Ishii parked his rental vehicle, he reached into his belt pocket and removed his aPhone. He always hated having it in sight while he drove, especially when in a vehicle he was not as familiar with. His wife, Quỳnh Ngà, had texted him back; how happy she was to hear his flight was safe and that she looked forward to talking to him later. She was running into the nearby village of Asu’la to get some supplies for the homestead, so cell service might be spotty on her end. Another missed call from Kad’e Tay’haai, but no texts or voicemails. A quick message from his old head coach and mentor Kad Skirata saying how the two of them should get dinner after his meeting, as the old buir was in town on some personal business and would love to catch up.

And of course, a message from Tie Lian-hua, Chairperson of the Board of Governors for the Avatarian Hockey League, and formerly the Vice President of the World Hockey Federation.

Madame Tie always wants to have a chat with me whenever I’m in this town, Ishii thought as he continued up to the safety checkpoint. A pair of guards stood by the door, and when they made eye contact with Ishii, they both stood ramrod and nodded in unison.

”Welcome, Coach Ishii, sir. The first guard on the left spoke as Ishii nodded in return. He somewhat enjoyed the pageantry of the National Sports Council; lovingly referred to as the “Sports Palace”, the National Sports Complex was an impressive collection of buildings that housed the governing body of every sport in Gyatso-kai; each with their own collection of floors and practice spaces that filled the countless hundreds of thousands of hectares that the Complex occupied. In the East Sector, there was the two primary ‘bread winning’ sports – Ice Hockey and Football made up the two massive towers to the east, with four football pitches built atop four different practice rinks. Everything from training to medical facilities, conference spaces, offices, and even several restaurants were all contained within the 40-story tower that were an integral part of the Avatarian Capital’s skyline in the Fengsen District.

Haran, there were weeks when I would come here to train that I wouldn’t even leave the building, Ishii thought as he continued his stroll into the Complex. A short elevator ride took him to the Thirty-Fourth floor – Conference halls mostly, staging areas for meetings, nothing fancy – and as he disembarked from the elevator, Ishii was met by a young aide. The aide smiled, and Ishii slightly bowed.

”Head Coach Ishii,” the soft and gentle voice of the aide barely echoed in the hall. ”You are expected in Room 3208.” Ishii smiled, and continued walking. He always found it interesting how every aide in the Complex were almost identical; same height, same body shape, same androgynous appearance. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought they were all clones born into the life of an administrative aide. Walking through the halls, he could hear a few of the rooms being occupied and just hummed to himself as he walked down the central corridor. In 3202, he could hear an older gentleman lamenting how ‘players just aren’t as tough today as they were 10 years ago’, and in 3204, he could hear how ‘the time to really push the brand is now.’

Exciting for only the second day of the new year…

As he walked up to 3208, another pair of guards were standing outside of the doors, with another aide standing between them. The aide simply bowed before opening the door, and as Ishii walked between the two guards, a small turn of the head signaled that they had seen him. Stepping into the conference room, Ishii could see the table in the middle – long rich mahogany – had been sent for four people; four glasses in the middle, four chairs fitted with plush velour cushions. Ishii had never been a fan of the comfort that was often found in these offices; maybe it is a bit of trying to show that stereotypical Mandalorian toughness, or maybe he just didn’t like how the cushions felt when they got pinched between his back plate and thigh plates whenever he sat down.

The room was empty, but as soon as the door behind Ishii shut, another door to the right opened. Ishii recognised the man that walked in, whose armor was similar to Ishii’s suggesting a familiar link. In Mandalorian culture, clans related would often share designs or plate placements. In this case, both men came from the Southern Clans, and as such, bore a white eagle on their left shoulder pauldron. The sigil on his right pauldron – a green eel with black accents – showed that the man was a member of House Tay’haai, one of the largest Houses in the Southern Clans that encompassed nearly thirty different clans and hundreds of different family lines. In the center of his armor, the traditional place for the Kar’ta Beskar or the “Iron Heart”, laid a solid silver piece with a carving of the sigil of House Tay’haai, and the words geroy’alor beneath it. A hearty smile bore across the man’s face as he approached Ishii.

”Su’cuy, ori’vod,” Ishii spoke. ”Kad’e, it is good to see you.”

“Likewise, Hakoda,” Kad’e Tay’haai reached out and grasped Ishii’s forearm.

”So what brings you here?” Ishii asked as he looked around. ”I know I am here for a meeting, but you?”

“The same meeting,” Tay’haai said, looking behind him as two more people walked into the room. The first was a venerable old man, his long overcoat hanging over armor every Mandalorian athlete would immediately recognise. The rick greens and pops of red and yellow belonged to none other than Vhett Boba, the legendary former Head Coach of the Men’s National Football team and now President of the Avatarian Leagues of Association Football. Ishii had heard many stories of Vhett, especially from his own former Head Coach, Kad Skirata. As Vhett walked towards Ishii, he nodded his head before taking his seat.

”We have much to discuss, Ishii,” Vhett spoke from his seat. ”You must forgive me, old age is taking its toll today, so I would prefer to dispense with the pleasantries and get this meeting underway.” Ishii could understand the desire to move the meeting along, so he moved to a chair across from Vhett. The fourth person, he did not recognise; a young woman, no distinctive clothing or armor, so Ishii’s best guess was that they were an aide of some sort. She did not introduce herself, and simply sat down to the left of Vhett and seemed to be disinterested in the entire affair.

”I was told that I would be meeting with the Director and few of the governors regarding,” Ishii began to explain as Vhett held up a single hand.

”Yes, yes, yes, you will be.” Vhett waved Ishii off. ”About what I have to say to you here. Consider this a preliminary debriefing. A plea before you hear the official offer.”

“I’m never fond of surprises, so I appreciate this first meeting.” Ishii laughed to himself before looking to Tay’haai, seated to his left and looking less than comfortable.

”It is no surprise, Hakoda, that we have been struggling with the national football team.” Tay’haai said. ”In the next couple weeks, the World Cup is starting, and to be frank, I need your help.”

“My help? How am I, a hockey guy, going to help you, a footballer?”

”To be frank,” Vhett spoke up, ”We would like to bring you along to the World Cup as a consultant.”

“A consultant?”

“Help us learn how to win,” Tay’haai was next to speak. ”We have spent a great deal in building the team. The talent is all there, but we just cannot seem to click.”

“And you want me…”

“Last campaign, we experience some limited success when I introduced aspects of our culture into the team.” Tay’haai said, looking down. Ishii could tell from his friend’s comment that he was taking the lack of success personally, which to be fair, was exactly what Ishii had done when his own team had been struggling. ”I’d like to see if, with your help, we can get this team on the path I know they can succeed on.”

Ishii was slow to answer, thinking over all that would need to be done. As he looked up from the table, he could see the person to the side of Vhett slide forward a large folder. Vhett, taking the folder, handed it to Ishii with a look of concern on his face.

”Here is all of our cultural information on the team. If you choose to join us, we will be starting our training camps in three days,” Vhett spoke. ”The campaign should last a month, and you would be home before the start of the next ACSA season.”

“Give me time to think,” Ishii spoke. ”Let’s see how my meeting goes with the Director.”

“Of course,” Vhett spoke before standing. Tay’haai stood as well, and faced Ishii.

”I know it isn’t your usual role, or your usual trip. But I could really use another vod here. Just think about it.”

As Tay’haai turned to leave, Ishii sighed. He leaned back in his chair, and could only think of one thing…

How am I going to break the news to Quỳnh?

by **Stevid** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 1:49 pm

FINAL WHISTLE - World Cup 87 Qualifiers
Stevidia 1 – 4 Banija
Vids Humbled By World Champs

A brace from Banija frontman Jawara together with first second half goals from wingers Okparra and Mboob saw off a spirited but damned performance by the home side. Stevidia went into this game very much the underdogs having only just attained a ranking from the recent Baptism of Fire and Ice tournament a few weeks ago, whereas the seasoned footballers of Banija had a reputation to maintain as world champions. The likelihood of an upset was painfully slim and Banija demonstrated in empathic fashion.

Cooper takes the short lived hero worship after scoring

The visitors were ahead within fifteen minutes as Banija moved the ball nicely along the ground transitioning play from the middle out to the wings. Even from early on, Banija were probing well with decent crosses, all of them mixed up to throw off the Vid defence. Stevidia coped well enough but the visitors were only probing. On thirteen minutes they pounced but it was Okparra who had come inside slightly and went to ping a cross but dummied it and rocketed into the area leaving Jack Lee wrong footed. The winger punted a cute effort into the top left hand corner of the Vid goal and he wheeled away smiling.

Stevidian heads dipped and Banija punished the poor resolve of the home team as left winger Mboob fired off a worldy from distance after Stevidia failed to clear their lines after a cross. Now at two-nil, the up hill climb was now a mountain. But Stevidia stabilised and while Banija kept pressing home their advantage, the Vids equalled them. Great palming saves from Nicky Barnett may have saved his place in the team as the defence managed to keep the visitors attempting at range. They went in at half time with Banija looking good for their lead while Stevidia had only registered two half chance efforts on goal.

Straight from the whistle for the last forty-five, Stevidia attacked. It paid dividends immediately and hopefully is a sign of things to come for this budding new team on the international stage. Lukas Cooper, the Vid’s top goal score was loitering on the left side of the pitch just outside the visitors’ area. Middleton flew into a crunching slide tackle that dispossessed the opposition player and the loose ball was quickly picked up by Johnson who took a quick touch that looped the ball over his head. He spun round and place a weighted ball to deep lying playmaker Wilson. The crowd roared to life at the fancy play as Wilson lobbed to the right side of the pitch towards Massey who lept up, beat his man and headed square and thundering pass to the feet of a rushing Cooper. With a cool head he pivoted, rounding the last defender and fired off a curler that left Banija keeper Tantoh grasping at air. The stadium erupted and Cooper looked none too displeased at notching one against the world champions on forty-seven minutes.

Banija, however, were in no mood to be made fools of. Top goal scorer Jawara put the vids back in their place with a superb solo effort on sixty minutes as he received a shot ball, taking a touch to beat his first man, defensive midfielder Middleton. Instinct took over as the Vid back line failed to react and he charged towards the middle two defenders, skippiny past the burly mass of Smith and the last ditch sliding tackle of Bostock. Under pressure from the onrushing keeper, Jawara tucked it away. Hearts skipped a beat as Barnett got a hand to it but it continued into the back of the net for three-one.

Jawara popped up again on seventy-seven minutes, this time with a more modest finished as he picked up a loose ball in the area following a corner where the Vids, yet again, failed to clear their lines. The hopeful effort was nothing shot of a cannon as the ball fired past a helpless Vid keeper.

The game was as good as dead and both teams knew it; the game descended into a mediocre one of a probing balls and safe passes and they wound down the clock. Both teams had speculative efforts towards the end, but it finished a resounding 1-4 to Banija.

Interview with Davidicus

Davidicus, four one against, not good but probably not expecting it the other way?
“I suppose not. They are world champions. I don’t like losing – never have and never will. I don’t stand for it and I haven’t got where I am in football by enjoying it. But we played pretty solidly out there. I think the score is pretty reflective of the game – I certainly don’t think we deserved wo goals and certainly not to win. But we shouldn’t have become dejected after the their second, that could harm our goal difference by the end.”

Anything to build on?
“We showed some real class at times and a good tenacity early on. But we got too relaxed in that opening thirty. Some will challenge why we went attacking, but I believe if we’re underdogs then we can play how we want. So hopefully it’s built up some confidence and helps us drive on forward.”

Cooper gets one on the world champions, how’s that make you all feel?
“It’s so good to get that notch, so good. He’s overjoyed with it and so were the team as it was a glorious piece of football that carved open the best team in the world. Granted, they killed us off almost straight away. But we displayed a real skill set there that I would really like to capitalise on.”

Stevidia’s next games come over the next two days and are against Thibaea away and Jerusalem at the Stadia Evangelicum. Join us then!

GROUP 13 CLASSIFIEDS
Code: Select all
Group 13 Jeruselem 2–1 Oberour Ar Moro New Lusitania and the Algarves 2–4 Thibaea Stevidia 1–4 Banija The Belacian States 0–4 Vangaziland Melbergia 0–1 Saltstead

by **Tequilo** » Tue Jan 12, 2021 1:53 pm

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - The World Cup is back! Version 87 is up and running… and we've got your back for all the latest in the biggest and best competition in the multiverse: let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. Tonight: Track & Trace… whatever happened to The Class of 72? El Copametro… how are Los Pitxileros making out in the qualification campaign trail? Rúi de Las Rovas… season three of the famous old comic book strip rebooted… and of course, we have mail! You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spamcatcher@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹

But first - something a little more serious: is it too soon? The time has come to take a look at the devastating auto-imitation disease that ravaged the Independent Associations Championship squad when they visited the Land of Gibberwilde and picked up The Kip.

KIPOLALIA
The Auto-Imitation Disease

Part 1/7: Catching The Kip

“n ppl don’t need to say sum iss fo it fin be wit yo ain’t need to say eh? Yo u cn yo like I do dat n iss ain’t need to make they cuh dat aint eh iss u ain’t fin cuh u ain’t onnit” said Diego Nores to his team captain, Vilca Hualla.

It was the first training session at the team camp for the Independent Associations Championship, somewhere out in the wildelands of a far foreign field called Gibberish. Diego appeared to be cross about being told to run some cones or something, but of course these things did happen, sometimes you got a little upstart baby on the team who thought it would ingratiate them with the seniors by appearing tough - usually through some form of misjudged mimicry in which they imagined they were posing like a veteran centrehalf hardman when in fact they were a gangly spotted youth who would blow down in a moderate gust. But this weird talk - was that some kind of street slang? Probably more an imitation of street slang, guessed the team captain, heard in a snatched moment past bedtime watching channel VH-23 with all that old ruffian dippety-doppa slam on it, before momma heard the cussing, turned off the set and sent the naughty child to bed to dream of being Soop Dragonn, Bone-C or any one of those fictionalised crime-spree droppers that were popular on the South Coast thirty years ago.

Invited to say that again, Diego continued in the same vein. “we been smoke da befo n u ain’t never wit it there ain’t no usin yo so fuck out my face wit dat n if u sum1 e u need to be mad n whtv other shit dat iss das dumb ash fo.”

Usually at this point it’s best to cut short the idea that talking in the imagined language your mother slapped you for at the dinner table (and then laughed about after you’d gone to bed - “isn’t little Juan trying to grow up so fast!”) is going to earn you respect by duplicating your mother’s lesson and slapping you down hard in front of your team mates, and Vilca Hualla certainly wasn’t beyond dishing out a hard-learned lesson to a daft upstart. But coach Luka Entenza stayed his hand - this was very peculiar behaviour, observed Luka, and knowing Diego and his family - including former national team head coach and Diego’s father, Mauricio - from way back, he could be sure that Diego wasn’t feeling himself. Perhaps he had caught an influenza and was a little delirious. He was sent back to the team hotel and the local fixer was asked to pull in a doctor to take a look at him.

“iont ian unner stan skraight wht yo issue iss ,” bemoaned Diego as they took him away.

Pretty soon, half the squad would be speaking like that; and worse besides.

“What we have here,” pronounced the local doctor when the team got back to the hotel, with Diego in the background pulling some weird faces, making bizarre gestures with his outstretched hands and saying ‘skrrrt’ a lot, “is a Kipolalia infection. He can’t help himself. It’s a local problem, and there is no surefire way of treating it other than to ignore the worst of it, definitely don’t engage, and try to remind him of the route back to typical behaviour simply by demonstrating it around him. You’ll find he will have lucid periods and with luck, these will soon outweigh the overt Kipolalia periods or Kipisodes, as we call them.”

§

Within days many had contracted the highly infectious localised virus, which affects the Broca's area and arcuate fasciculus sections of the brain; it is commonly understood to be an ‘auto-imitation’ disease - typically causing an extreme dulling of original conceptualisation and critical thinking, communicating in nonsense language, and automatic imitation, repetition and 'parroting' of others. Whilst generally believed that Diego Nores was the first to become infected, the variable gestation of the virus lends uncertainty, as others may have caught it first but been asymptomatic initially. Certainly he was the first to demonstrate symptoms but the infection was not immediately picked up, as Deigo was not well known in the team and people just though he was an annoying little kid trying somehow to win acceptance through bizarre shows of disingenuous performance. Some wanted to punch him for his copycatting. But it became clear, after a few days of this, that there was something wrong. Too late, the penny dropped - the squad was already in the midst of a Kipolalia outbreak. By then, José Tavia and Baptiste Ndosi were already beginning to show symptoms. One of the other known side-effects is developing a bad temper, often brought about through frustration and an ironic awareness of one's own inability to control ridiculous behaviours, causing unpleasant outbursts; it was noticeable on the pitch that indiscipline was evident across the team - in hindsight, a clear indicator that 'the Kip’ had spread through the squad.

In a complete mishandling of the situation (as adjudged in a later public inquiry) the Unión decided it would be safer to continue with the competition and let the virus run it's course rather than bring them home. Incredibly, though down to 12 fit players by the end, the team won through to the quarter-finals with Niño Pinto managing to remain fit enough to win three player of the match awards and take the 'Pythagoras Citation' for best player in the Tequilo campaign. In the disastrous aftermath of 'The Kip’, whilst the returning team were under quarantine on a remote island of Antivador, one player, Esâ Neá, died of the condition whilst imitating a crack-addled hairy river dolphin and his shirt number at the IAC tournament, 23, was retired from all tiers of the National Team. Tomás Alemán contracted such a severe strain that he was forced to retire from the game with the complication of Long-Kip, whilst Diego Nores, the first known infected player, and Alex Gallo will both miss the entire next domestic season, Liga-TQ season 4, whilst in recuperation from the same. IAC-11 team manager Luka Entenza was also forced to retire suffering the consequences of Long-Kip.

Next time in Kipolalia: The Auto-Imitation Disease - The team pay a visit to Iso Camp 19.

BEST EVER START AGAINST BEST EVER VISITORS

TEQUILO 1-1 Vilita HT: 0-0

Location: Arenamoto; Tirinto, Maranco
Attendance: 77,200
Scorers: Vilca Hualla '52 | Jyuola Mtalata '61 Assists: Ixtub Tün '52
Booked: Huracan, Ixtub Tün, Vilca Hualla, Ecuador | Mako Canopii
Injured: Niño Pinto (severity 3/20) | Jirak Trikala (1/20) Rojara Tiones (11/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (Capitan), Niño Pinto (sub: Xaime Medal), Ricardo Bailén (sub: Tutayan) | Roxelio Toran (sub: Tlacolotl), Ecuador
Player of the Match: Huachalla (Tequilo)

TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Vilca Hualla (1)
Competition assists: Ixtub Tün (1)
Competition PoMs: Huachalla (1)
Competition cards: Huracan, Ixtub Tün, Vilca Hualla, Ecuador (1 yellow card each)

Having lost the opening game of the last two World Cup qualifying cycles, the Agave-Blues faced a mighty opponent in the The Jungle Cats, the best ever team to play in Tequilo by World Cup rankings - so the hope of improving on dismal starts was slim in the extreme. And yet, here we are, one game in and one point on the board - our best ever start to the World Cup. With only 31% possession the home side, cheered on by a capacity crowd at Arenamoto, had to be patient, resilient and crafty as they were battered like a tunnyfish in a chipshop for the first 45 minutes, barely getting out of their own half and losing influential young midfielder Niño Pinto just before the break to injury. The second half began much the same as the first but a couple of early counter-attacks from the home side sent warning that their mentality had changed a little, and they were prepared to be a little bolder than they had been with quick balls out to the wide players and faster pressing in the top half of the pitch. The change soon paid dividends, Ixtub Tün dispossessing Kudii Davasarii in midfield and threading a fine pass through to Vilca Hualla, who's fine strike stunned the visitors and briefly put Los Pitxileros in front. But from there the Jungle Cats turned the screw even tighter than before, learning the lesson of letting the host nation slip their leash, and quickly forced an equaliser with Jyuola Mtalata carving out his own opportunity to quickly bring the former world champions back on equal terms. Capitulation from the home side seemed inevitable as the game moved into the final throes but superb defending, especially from player-of-the-match left back Huachalla to stifle Mtalata in particular, saw Tequilo take a famous point in the stadium that had witnessed the notorious 'non-match' of last season's IFCF Challenger's Cup, when Motozintla stunned Turoki Tide 3-1 before having the game chalked off through an administrative error. All will be praying today that this result stands, to send a signal to the rest of group 17 - the Agave-Blues are in business, and we might be quite good.

Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO @ Balqia @ unpublished location
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Tol Chicote, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Xaime Medal, Ricardo Bailén | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

Probable Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Zeta Reka Hügateldom @ El Mesperuza; Iragartze, Puezan
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Çenturion, Ricardo Bailén | Roxelio Toran, Ecuador

TRACE & TRACK SPECIAL
Whatever happened to the Class of 72?

More than a few eyebrows were raised in the country after the Agave-Blues were drawn in Group 17 of World Cup Qualifying with ‘those damned Zetans, Rekans and Huggerty-Doms’ as most Tequiloa refer to the good folks of ZRH. Not as bad as the flipping Gibberfolk who gave us The Kip, but definitely a nation who, in pitxi terms, should get a blummin spanking the next time we meet for dumping us out of Baptism of Fire 72 just when we had employed a cabinet-maker at the Unión to, well, make us a cabinet for that trophy we thought we would be bringing back from Delaclava. Our first competitive meeting with the Yellow & Reds since that heartbreaking semi-final penalty knockout got us here at the Daily desk wondering, what happened to everyone who took part way back then - and how are they doing now? We got the intern to scan through the results, check the ledgers, and screen the the sportswires to find out what exactly was going on, and they came back with a natty table full of incomprehensible statistics, more confusing that Dr. Kel Sekk’s celebrity lectures on voting theory. Allow your favourite Daily to give you the key takeaways.


CLASS OF '72 STANDINGS										*WC-86f
						Rank	BoF-72	Group	WC-85	CoH-77	WC-86	CoH-78
1	Independent Athletes from Quebec	42	g 5/7	H	g 3/13	r32	g 2/10q	*g 4/4	
2	Tequilo					46 	SF	G	g 4/13	r32	g 3/10	r32	
3	Mavinet 				57 	Winner	E	g 9/13	g 3/5	g 3/10	r16	
4	South Newlandia 			61	QF	G	g 4/13	r32	g 5/10	r16	
5	Riena					62 	SF	F	g 3/13	r32	g 4/10	g 6/7	
6	Maccian 				65	r32	C	g 6/13	g 5/5	g 5/10	QF	
7	Kohnhead 				66	r16	G	g 5/13	r16	g 7/10	r32	
8	Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom 		67 	RU	C	g 3/13	g 4/5	g 5/10	r32	
9	Twicetagria 				75	g 6/7	G	g 4/13	r32	g 5/10	g 5/7	
10	Sylestone 				96	r32	A	g 13/13	g 5/5	g 9/10	3rd	
11	Baggieland 				118	g 5/7	G	g 8/13	g 5/5	g 8/10	 -	
12	Havynwilde 				125	r32	G	g 12/13	 -	g 7/10	 -	
13	The Grearish Union 			142	QF	H	g 12/13	 -	g 10/10	 -

Firstly, the intern was only permitted to trace those nations from the Class of 72 who are still competing in the World Cup. There has been quite some attrition: in a record-breaking competition there were 56 entrants to a massive BoF-72 that needed two and three-quarter hosts to manage it; but by the next cycle, only sixteen nations were left standing - and that’s down to 13 for this, the second subsequent cycle. Of course, nobody has won anything yet, although Sylestone have come closest and have at least won some host bids. A nation of non-recyclable domestic white goods have risen quicker than a dough ball in a breadmaking machine, it seems; although with a Fridge as their star player, they have made a meal out of playing it square.

Today, it is the Independent Athletes of Quebec who top the Class of 72, and for good reason, but before we get to them, let’s look at the first team to impress outside of the BoF, and it wasn’t winners Mavinet. A number of teams impressed in their first World Cup qualifying campaign, including Quebec, Riena and the Zetans etc. with third place finishes in their groups of thirteen, one off a qualifying spot for the World Cup proper - while our very own Agave-Blues along with South Newlandia and Twicetagria finished fourth. That’s quite a cohort of new starters impressing at the first attempt. But emerging as the team that lasted the longest in all competitions that first cycle was Kohnhead; ‘The Brains’, with star striker Aaron Korkson impressing, went all the way to the Round of 16 in the Cup of Harmony to earn the first class star for the ’72 alumni.

In the second cycle, the last World Cup, it was ‘The Appliances’ - Sylestone - and ‘The Grim Reapers’ - Quebec - who emerged as the power houses of the class. Quebec, in different form of course, have been around forever and brought plenty of experience to bear as they became the first of the Class to qualify for the World Cup Proper. Accused perhaps of taking the BoF too lightly, they failed even to get out of the group stage, and yet one cycle later, they were in amongst the giants. Alright, they lost all three games in the ‘Proper’ but they have set down a marker now - the Quebecois are back. Central attacking midfielder Marco Hertel led the way for the Grim Reapers, while for The Appliances, it literally was a refrigerator who starred for Sylestone as the team that had frankly looked about as effective as a chocolate teapot up to that point took advantage of some home field familiarity to reach the semi-finals of the Cup of Harmony, eventually finishing in the bronze medal place to become the first of the Class of 72 to win a medal of any colour.

Thirteen teams are left standing for the new cycle - notably, six of them from one group, G, from the original BoF tournament including group winners Tequilo [about the only thing we have won so far - Ed.]. Which will rise, which will fall, which will hissy fit into another dimension? Stay tuned to the Daily, where we will keep an eye on progress of our fellow classmates, wishing them all well (except, maybe, those damned Zetans, Rekans and Huggety-Doms… and of course the Gibberish).

NEXT UP
What's coming next with GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!!

In the next edition of GOLa Extra, we continue our thrilling look back at the Kipolalia Crisis when some of our boys went to Gibberwilde and caught the auto-imitation bug; PLUS! - in the Daily edition look out for more adventures of fictional comic book legend Rúi de Los Rovas, now into his 120s and running the family agency as he tries to find a new home for 'Lionel Messi', the world's greatest ever tax dodger; there will be our regular letters feature; we talk to some of the logistics team in the World Cup squad about how to manage a campaign of double-matchdays; and of course we'll keep you bang up to date with the progress of Los Pitxileros in World Cup 87...

[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

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