World Cup 87 - RP Thread

[Zwangzug]

The Arlington Moon-Tribune
Presenting: The Silicon Boot

Many association football leagues bestow honors to their highest-scoring players. While the valuation of precious metals may differ depending on one's economic system, teams throughout the world believe in honoring the individuals who have made distinguished statistical impacts, season by season. And while scoring goals isn't the only way players can contribute to helping their teams succeed, they are nevertheless easy to quantify and compare.

The World Cup Committee has no official record-keepers, beyond of course the final scores of the matches. However, dedicated researchers are increasingly striving to detail what can be gleaned from media reports on the final 32. In celebration of this work, the Arlington Collective has announced the Silicon Boot, an award that will be presented retroactively to the individuals believed to have scored the highest number of goals at a World Cup proper.

"We recognize that this is an extremely simplistic metric of quantifying success," said spokesperson Cheryl Woen. "By its nature, it is skewed towards teams that score a lot of goals, present media recaps detailing who scored a lot of goals, and/or are Farfadillis."



"But while we value the contributions of defenders whose achievements are harder to capture in numbers per Scallop's law, and strikers whose contributions might be overshadowed by other events in their nations' news, we don't want the perfect to be the enemy of the good. We hope to celebrate achievements of previous tournaments, and indirectly, appreciate those who made these achievements known to the wider world," Woen concluded.

The statistics in use come from the Miraheze Hub of Documentation, founded--rather fittingly--by the Farf press with support from Kelssekians and others. Corrections or disputations should be taken up there rather than with the Collective, who stress again that all statistics must be considered unofficial.

"While we recognize that this could lead to perverse incentives for teams that qualify for future tournaments," Woen admitted, "we are hopeful that the caliber of competition is high enough to deter one-dimensional efforts, or failing that, see the over-prolific become known more derisively than successfully. Besides, we might have forgotten about it by the time the next cycle comes around, in which case you don't really need to worry about it."

Silicon Boot Winners
World Cups 75-86

75. Pedrinho (Valladares), Elexhé Renzo Nofzaleiné Tüjâká (Farfadillis); 5 goals
76. Kéirâ Andisori (Chromatika); 7 goals
77. Rodolfo Zelaya (San José Guayabal); 6 goals
78. Jake Latham (Electrum), Corinne Martel-Burns (Schottia), Täjó Ôýâtúfâ Çíânflöné Rütü (Farfadillis); 4 goals
79. Cade Jones (Bonesea); 9 goals
80. First Purifier Snuggles (The Holy Empire), Ella Kabeya (Starblaydia); 5 goals
81. Sipke Tarala (Vilita), Love Holm (Free Republics); 5 goals
82. Faragó rue Cazade (Farfadillis); 5 goals
83. Pristina Shine (Equestria); 5 goals
84. Oskar Holsteiner (Farfadillis), Xíxì Êns (Farfadillis); 6 goals
85. Meldi'ita Mungwaii (Turori), Xíxì Êns (Farfadillis); 4 goals
86. Faragó rue Cazade (Farfadillis); 7 goals

[Trolleborg]

Greetings, compatriors!
It’s me, Tiernes Riper. Right now we will speak with FA CEO Torben Mortensen. Good Evening, Torben!

T.M.: Good evening, Tiernes! Happy to see you, compatriots! Let’s continue this good tradition of inviting FA CEO for grilling before the WCQ.

both laughing

T.R.: I would like to start our conversation with the long awaited opening of “Trolleborg TV-Sport”. Did it meet your expectations?

T.M.: Not yet. But he just started broadcasting, and has already offered the world audience things that you will not easily find by just switching channels.

T.R.: Our move with the broadcast of the WCQ draw ceremony was not very popular ...

T.M.: It was not exceedingly and widly popular, it is true, since we did not break world records in terms of the number of viewers, but still we received a lot of positive publicity. Considering that it was a spontaneous decision made a few hours before the ceremony itself, and the fact that draw was not listed in the broadcast grid until the very beginning of the broadcast, the result is not bad at all. Let's see how things go, we in FA have a few more ideas. Personally, as a person who was cautious in assessments, I would recommend waiting another six months before making your conclusions - until the hockey and basketball seasons are over and half of the rugby and football seasons pass. Well, and some other projects will get on their feet on the TTV-S.

T.R.: Yes, how do you like the new sports movie “Debuten!”?

T.M.: Oh, I finally watched that game (both laugh ). No, its true. It was the first match of our national team, and although I was at the stadium with other members of the delegation, I was so terribly nervous that I hardly remembered the game itself. Well, we spent almost the entire match on our feet. I remember terribly, I was happy with the first goal and the overall result. I thought Abanhfeft would sweep us away in style like Cassadaigua in the last championship. But they are treated the newbies mercifully.

T.R.: And this topic moved us forward in the conversation. Let's move on to the prospects of WCQ. Well, what are we waiting for?

T.M.: A dashing spurt to the first place is not on the table. Moreover, I will say that it will be difficult to take even the second place. I understand that the fans are counting on the upward movement - last year we made it to the finals, this year they expect us to do this again and win at least one game there. But you need to measure your capabilities properly. Now the head coach is building the second line of players behind the players who won the BoF and carrying all the weight of the national team's games on themselves but now entered their 40s. It takes time and this is painstaking work.

T.R.: Has traveling to tournaments like IAC and MC contributed to this?

T.M.: You know, perhaps these two rather helped us, the FA functionaries, understand a lot. The organization of both tournaments, to put it mildly, left much to be desired. But it seems to me that it was useful for the players to play against a background of mild stress. After all, our players are professionals and should be prepared for many surprises and vicissitudes. However, I would prefer that our guys get the experience in some other way.

T.R.: Yes, the lack of a schedule and fights in the mud on the MC and the mess with the playoffs, when the teams could only guess who was playing with whom and when, at the IAC, everyone would remember for a long time. Maybe then try some other way in order to provide players with the opportunity to participate in international games and gain experience? There is a lot of talk about ICFC and other club tournaments...

T.M.: If the fans believe that our teams should participate, then we will consider this. But until the public has said its word, the decision of the league's coaching council is unambiguous - no, we do not participate in international club competitions. I’ll explain why right away. Remember the first qualifying tournament of our national team? Do you remember how our hockey players, or youth soccer teams fare? Well, that’s precisely what proposed tournaments for our clubs will be. And most probably in the second category – totally useless and even maybe detrimental to the society in regards of wasted efforts. No, from my point of view these competitions are not suitable for the development of our football.

T.R.: Okay, back then to the national team. What about our qualifying group? Everyone has the internet, everyone can find out what they think is necessary, but the opinion of a specialist is more interesting.

T.M.: There isn't much I or anyone else can say on this subject. Holy Empire is the undisputed favorite, the heavyweight of world football. Twicetagria is the only team in the group that we have ever met in person at CoH two seasons ago, very peculiar team, I must admit. Megistos are our old acquaintances in sport, two years ago they came across to us the entire sports season at almost every competition, and then at the Olympics too, but we haven’t played football with them yet. Judging by the available data, they put high hopes in this tournament. Maccian play against us in the Olympic handball tournament, but fate was not put them against our team in the football or any other sport. Waisnor is widely known for its highly developed culture and music festivals. It is a pity that our performers never went to any of them. Yerapia, Blustopia and Red Kelp, if I remember correctly, participated in the last BoF, with the last two playing in the same group. Yerapia and Red Kelp advanced to the playoffs from second place, while Blustopia finished last in their group. Red Kelp went through two rounds, Yerapia was a semi-finalist of the tournament, giving way to future winners, but at the time of semifinal the team apparently ran out of cartridges or fuel, 1-4 in the semifinals and 0-4 in the match for third place. There is not much information to analyze, but I can assure you that the team headquarters are now carefully analyzing the available recordings of the games.

T.R.: Wants something to say

T.M.: Yes, I know what you want to ask. The second place seems to be achievable, but I will not risk betting my FA CEO salary on this, and I would not recommend it to our dear viewers either. World football is unpredictable and strange things possible.

T.R.: Well, you correctly predicted. With that question answered, our program has come to an end, I was glad to see you in our studio again.

T.M.: This is mutual! Cheers, dear football fans!

[Chromatika]

Choose my Lineup: No. I will be listing the starting lineup for each match at the end of each RP. You can choose my subs, though.
Choose my goalscorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: No
RP injuries to my players: Yes, I choose the severity.
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes, 3 max.
Hand out red cards to my players: Yes, 2 max. Please TG me.
Godmod other events: No

---

ROSTER FOR WORLD CUP 87 QUALIFYING

Kits Credit: Kirola, Logo Credit: Vulpine Sportif

TEAM INFORMATION
World Ranking: 27
WC Record: 167-42-61 (wins/draws/losses), 602 scored, 364 conceded
Overall Record: 224-64-92 (wins/draws/losses), 844 scored, 548 conceded
Formation: 4-3-1-2
Style Modifier: +2
Denonym: Chromatik
Nickname: The Anomalies
Venue: Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Capital District, Chromatika (144,000) and as listed

CURRENT TEAM INFORMATION

MANAGEMENT

MANAGER: Richard Valens, 46 WC Record: 15-3-5 Overall Record: 29-10-12 Debut Cycle: AOCAF 61

ASSISTANT MANAGER Tim Landers, 59 Debut Cycle: AOCAF 61

TEAM PHYSICIAN Zoe "Z" Benne, 38 Debut Cycle: 80

MEDIA RELATIONS COORDINATOR Shelby Arling, 23 Debut Cycle: 87

---

Records:
Italics indicate still active

Most Caps:
Keira Andisori - 177
Luuk Aart - 164
Rachel Hellion - 162
Erika Morningstar - 155
Kaytlyn Victoriane - 146
Meagan Kelly - 143
Alyss Montague - 130
Zlastica Ellen - 127
Gabriella Antonio - 125
Trenn Rien - 123
Sandra Sybill - 122
Lucjusz Stef - 121
Jazmin Dragana - 115
Aysu Damjana - 111
Carrol Liam - 110
Player with under 100 caps not listed

Most Goals:
Keira Andisori - 133
Kaytlyn Victoriane - 87
Olimpia Vidal - 44
Gabriella Antonio - 43
Ki Niro - 33
Trenn Rien - 30
Rowena Sierra - 30
Beaunia Andisori - 27
Rachel Hellion - 24
Alyss Montague - 23
Jazmin Dragana - 23
Miranda Gail - 22
Victorina Bird - 22
Meagan Kelly - 20
Players with under 20 goals not listed

Goalkeepers

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GA    Debut Cycle
01. Mia Ria                    32   Kingsgrove                   Brenecia                 5 ft 10 in     78  109             77 VICE CAPTAIN
12. Ferret Tioux               28   Oakstone                     Eura                     6 ft  3 in     43   68             84
23. Juxon Fillar               23   Cazadores Cathair            Audioslavia              6 ft  1 in      9    9       AOCAF 62
34. Jacob Descombes            26   Metropolis Alligators        Valladares               6 ft  3 in      0    0             87
45. Marseille Alexander        27   Bikarish                     Poafmersia               6 ft  5 in      4    7       AOCAF 61

Right Backs

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
02. Kai Xiao                   28   Farrenton Athletic           Eura                     6 ft  2 in     56    1             84
13. Dina Chapman               27   FK Torpedo Pawlograd         Savojarna                6 ft  4 in     16    0       AOCAF 61
24. Victoire De Saint-Pierre   26   Royal Rumiatzi               Astograth                5 ft 11 in     14    0             86          
35. Lina Watt                  26   Anomalies                    Chromatika               5 ft 10 in     13    0             86

Center Backs

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
03. Henri de Aea               27   Holdenberg                   Eura                     6 ft  7 in     93    3             80         
04. Cierra Anderson            31   Vermillion Rage              Nephara                  5 ft  4 in     53    0             79
14. Kattie Will                30   Raynor City United           Valanora                 5 ft  2 in     61    0             79
15. Giles Ken                  28   Montreal Koreana             Quebec                   6 ft  3 in     40    1             84
25. Theodore Rondeau           30   Franscisca Orient            Brenecia                 5 ft  9 in     23    0             84
26. White Baugh                28   Myana                        Chromatika               6 ft 11 in     22    0             84
36. Nadezhda Odling            27   René Skaé                    Farfadillis              6 ft  8 in     10    0       AOCAF 61
37. Damon Ingram	       24   Avanaroch White Wings FC     Tikariot                 6 ft  5 in      9    0       AOCAF 62

Left Backs

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
05. Valence Ilya               31   Northern Union               Brenecia                 6 ft  5 in     76    1             79
16. Nina Pomeroy               28   Oakstone                     Eura                     6 ft  2 in     12    1       AOCAF 61
27. Miles Austic               32   Pikemouth                    Brenecia                 6 ft  2 in     33    0             80
38. Derron Nocturne            29   Jaglan Royals                Squorn. Remnant States   6 ft  3 in     23    1             84
46. Jarret Rowles              29   Diamondqueen                 Nephara                  6 ft  4 in     40    0             84

Right Wingers

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
06. Molly Thorben              32   Crystal Fair HC              Crystal Empire           5 ft 10 in     74   11             79
17. Kaytlyn Victoriane         34   Falourr                      Eura                     5 ft  8 in    146   87             77
28. Orianne Marc               27   AFC Serpentine               Nephara                  6 ft  4 in     35    6             85
39. Whitney Kelly              33   Alexandria City              Xanneria                 5 ft 11 in     48   13             79
47. Augustus Humphreys         27   Hondo FC                     Valanora                 5 ft 11 in     14    3       AOCAF 61

Defensive Midfielders

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle 
07. Enigma Armageddon          28   Energija Chernovets          Siovanija and Teusland   6 ft  2 in     99   17             80 CAPTAIN
18. Kateryna Zuniga            26   Sabrefell Moths              Nephara                  6 ft  2 in     33    2             85
29. Kai Dias                   32   Herzegovina City FC          Banija                   6 ft  3 in     46    2             83
40. Min-Seok Kim               28   Condottiere                  Freeport                 5 ft  9 in     36    1             84   
48. Kaia Larriet-Cortes        19   La Nueva Avenida             Farfadillis              6 ft  5 in      5    1       AOCAF 62

Left Wingers

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
08. Retta Conrad               32   Ephesian FC                  Zwangzug                 5 ft  9 in     53   16             83
19. Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov   24   Crossroads                   Chromatika               6 ft  1 in     32   11             85
30. Ga-yeong Han               33   Alnio                        Chromatika               5 ft  3 in     44   10             79
41. Sylvie Reynolds            29   Galatica                     Pasarga                  6 ft  2 in     19    3             84
49. Andréa Croix-Pierre        28   Falourr                      Eura                     6 ft  7 in     51    9             80

Attacking Midfielders

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
09. Hermaeus Mora              29   Club Stein-los               Pasarga                  5 ft 10 in     89   14             79
20. Mimi Kuzami                31   Cedina Beach AFC             Turori                   5 ft  2 in     70    9             79
31. Mi-Jung Kim                28   Condottiere                  Freeport                 5 ft 11 in     29    4             84
42. Haley Hauser               24   Falourr                      Eura                     6 ft  7 in      9    4       AOCAF 62
50. Baillaire Fillar           17   CdF Celtade                  Audioslavia              6 ft  3 in      7    1       AOCAF 62

Strikers

Num Name                      Age   Team                         Nation                   Height       Caps   GF    Debut Cycle
10. Olimpia Vidal              30   Bastion                      Eura                     5 ft  5 in     73   44             79
11. Rowena Sierra              33   Aries Chariots               Nephara                  5 ft  7 in     54   30             79
21. Kristian Non               29   Anomalies                    Chromatika               5 ft  9 in     29   14             84
22. Beaunia Andisori           32   Rozelle United               Brenecia                 5 ft  2 in     39   27             84
32. Alicia Gainsbourg          26   Molding                      Graintfjall              6 ft  4 in     10    7       AOCAF 62
33. Ignace Thibodeaux          28   FC Rotmunde 1932             Siovanija and Teusland   6 ft  8 in     16    6       AOCAF 61
43. Keira Andisori             36   Falourr                      Eura                     5 ft  3 in    177  133             75
44. Paskal Toussaint           23   Elephant Valley FC           South Newlandia          5 ft 11 in      2    0       AOCAF 62

---

The Rebel Headquarters Building
Chromia, Capital District, Chromatika

Jordan Lawless, Shelby Arling, Sandra Sybill

THE FIFTY

"Welcome, one and all, to the first edition of The Fifty - the show where we discuss the fifty players that have made it to the Chromatik roster, some of the rumors and news going around the CFF, and look forward to the next World Cup. Chromatika has been drawn into an interesting, yet favorable, group. We will also answer some of the most asked questions from fans of the team and of the show. It'd be boring if you had to listen to me the whole time, though...So with me, the newest member of Chromatika's staff: Ms. Shelby Arling!

"Thank you, Jordan. You're a legend, and it's an honor to be here. This is my first time addressing the Chromatik public, so let me take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Shelby Arling. I grew up in Eyrods, near The Jungle, and attended Eyrods Central High School. I got a scholarship to go to Kizza I College in Busukuma, Banija, where I graduated cum laude with a Bachelors of Arts in Media Relations. I was surprised when I got a call from Tim Landers to be the Media Relations Coordinator, but that's what I specialize in."

"Welcome, Shelby. My first question to you is... What does a Media Relations Coordinator do, exactly?"

"My job is to be the point person in scheduling interviews with the media regarding the Chromatik National Team, and in some aspects the U-21 Team and the U-18 Team as well. We have some people looking at all social media platforms to see what terms and rumors are trending, and what news items might be coming. When not working for the National Team, I'm working for the Chromatik Football Federation at large, making sure the teams of the Rainbow League System are communicating to each other and the Federation. It's a lot of communicating, a lot of meeting, a lot of data gathering, and a bit of politics. But it is worthwhile to be at the heart of Chromatik football."

"Thank you for that introduction, Shelby. Shall we get to it then? This will be the fourth cycle (since World Cup 84) that the Chromatik National Team for the Qualifiers will feature fifty players. In the past, we've seen Chromatik Management start first stringers against the first and third seeded teams in the Group, second stringers against fourth and fifth, and so on. We've also seen them decide which players will start in the next two matches, making sure to mix in players from all across the depth chart. What do you think Landers and Valens will do in their second Qualifiers at the helm?

"With the AOCAF now being cemented as a U-25 testing ground for the Anomalies, I think Valens and Landers are likely to stick to picking a twenty-three man squad every few matchdays and making sure that everyone gets some caps. The schedule will also have something to say about that - more on that later - but it's the best way to foster talent in the face of good competition. Players will not have a chance to show that they can go above and beyond what they've shown already if they don't have the opportunity."

"Splendid. Then, shall we go position by position and speak about talk about the players that made it to the fifty, what we can expect from each player, and those that just barely didn't make it?

"Let's go!

"First, the Management Staff. Richard Valens, the Krytenian, has now been in charge of the Chromatik National Team for a full cycle, having finished his second AOCAF. How do you think the man from Shanton Town is doing these days? How is the relationship with Tim Landers going?

"All indications show that the two have learned to complement each other nicely. Landers remains the day-to-day operations guy, making sure to keep tabs on all the goings-on, while Valens focuses on the big picture, player evaluations, and the like. It's a system that works. Every player feels respected and heard, and the mood in the locker room is very upbeat. They've really made this team their own in these past two years, and deserve all the accolades."

"And what of Zoe Benne? She used to be quite a distraction, you know. Is it really that important for the squad to have a Head Physio?

"Absolutely. Zoe makes all the shots on the field whenever a player goes down for whatever reason and has to come off. As to her beauty and her personality, she and Urrheddiao Manager and former Chromatik superstar Erika Morningstar are actually engaged now, the wedding is supposed to happen at the mid-qualifying break. She's free to be the doctor that the team needs without distractions."

"And with you to round out the team, that's the Management staff. More tightly knit than ever, with new life thanks to you. Any last words on the staff?"

"I just want to shout out Mirielle Baum, my Social Media expert, and the Lara Gideon/Pierce Gideon twins, experts in looking at world footballing news to see what is being said about Chromatiks. Lara is an expert on Atlantian Oceania and Esportiva while Pierce focuses on Rushmore and the nations that participate in the Independent Association Championships. Without them, I wouldn't be able to do my job."

"Very well. Before we move onto talking about Goalkeepers, let's address one of the top questions of these Qualifiers: Will games be hosted in other venues than the Capitalizt Dome during the qualifying cycle?

"I can answer that, yes. There will be nine home games this cycle. Three of them will be hosted at the Capitalizt Dome - the games against the first, third, and fourth seeds. The games hosting the fifth, seventh, and ninth seeds will be held at the Islander Dome in Myana, while the games hosting the sixth, eighth, and tenth seeds will be held at Z'ai'ai Field in Z'ai'ai. So, the Capital District, Mountain District, and Myana Island will all host three games apiece - giving fans all across the country a chance to attend at one of the venues without traveling too far."

"That sounds great! After the break, we talk about the Goalkeepers that will be guarding the Anomalies' net this qualifying cycle... And answer some questions regarding Group 10.

Cut to break

"Welcome back to The Fifty, where we talk about the fifty Chromatiks who will be representing the Anomalies this upcoming Qualifying Cycle, with our guest, Shelby Aarling. Shall we get going, then?"

"Very well, Jordan. Leading off the Chromatik keeper list is Mia Ria, longtime player for the Anomalies, having had her first start in World Cup 77. The only reason she's only at seventy-eight caps is because of the qualify of the keepers that were before her - we are, of course, speaking of Nikolai Thorben and Jillian Nier. She is still Chromatika's best keeper, and has the veteran's experience to go along with her history of great intangibles to go along with her reflexes despite being a bit short for a keeper. The biggest question surrounding her is if she'll get a chance to hit a hundred caps before she retires, with the AOCAF being a U-25 tournament and all now. She really wants to lead the Chromatiks to that Round of Sixteen berth before she goes - and I wouldn't like to be the one to bet against her."

"Good ole' Mia. Makes me feel old that I'm saying that now. Do you reckon she'll get too many starts in the Qualifiers, though?"

"At least four starts, I'd reckon. More if things get a bit close in terms of securing qualification near the end. She'll be there for both games against Drawkland and Mavinet, we can be sure of that."

"That'll be good for her to get warmed up before approaching the Propers where she will be counted upon to perform more. Next on the list is Ferret Tioux, fresh off a neat debut season in Oakstone of Eura. The twenty-eight year old has forty-three caps to his name, but seems to be just getting started. What's the latest on him?"

"The film looks really good on Ferret since his switch to Eura. He is the #2 for now, and it is his spot to lose. He has great anticipation and reflexes, and his field vision has filled out quite a bit, leading to there being less breakaway chances allowed for opposing strikers to catch him flat-footed. He just needs a challenge in facing tougher competition, and is getting that in full force in the Euraleague. Now, it's time to see how much he's learned."

"The first real surprise in this roster comes behind Ferret. Juxon Fillar, the youngster, as the third-choice keeper? I mean we all know what kind of a star he was at Chromia Central College University, but is he really that good?"

"Why, yes, Jordan. He is really that good. He not only won three straight Chromatik Collegiate Football Association titles, he won the last two Player of the Year awards as well. Then, he had a solid AOCAF in which he really established himself as his own keeper. Now, knowing where he will play his professional ball - Cazadores Cathair will be a great challenge for him - he is free to devote himself to the craft. He's spectacular in one-on-one situations and set pieces, and just needs to sharpen his skills in transition, but this may actually be the keeper of the future, and the main rival to Ferret Tioux once Mia Ria hangs up her gloves."

"Then we have Jacob Descombes, and Marielle Alexander to round things out. Any reason why they're in this order?

"First, we want to give thanks to Nova Williams, who was a huge presence in the locker room for many a season. However, the CFF have decided to call up Descombes, who's quietly been rising up the ranks in Valladares. He's now one of the better keepers in the Valladar League for Metropolis Alligators, and thrust himself into the conversation. He's cool under pressure, earning the nickname of Iceman, and up to any challenge. As for Marielle Alexnander, she was the original record breaker in the Red League, and her trip to Bikarish has only made her shrewder."

"Only four keepers this time around. Do you know of any that just missed the cut?"

"Maela Ran has been doing well in Nephara's First Division, while Finn Nichols deserves a shout-out from Tyrysier in Pasarga. Domestically, there's Kimi Herrington, but the Urrheddiao keeper is in a bad spot due to her age and the quality of the Red League. Ran barely missed the cut, but Alexander has more experience."

"And that was a roundup on the netminders for Chromatika's qualifying campaign. Before we move onto the Defenders, and specifically the Right Backs, our audience would like your thoughts on the Group. Eastfield Lodge, Mavinet, ZSeparatists, Freechi, Smosh Games, Logano Fraza, Drawkland, United States of Devonta, and Arklanda. What are your initial thoughts?"

"As many of you have probably heard, it's a comparatively easy group. Drawkland isn't that far from us in the rankings, and having Mavinet and Eastfield Lodge isn't that bad. In terms of international relations, the only nation we've previously played is Eastfield Lodge, and we have a 2-0-0 record against them. There will be a lot of first-time matchups, and that should lead to interesting watching. As long as we limit the number of upsets and points lost to anyone ranked less than fourth, we shouldn't have too much of an issue, I think."

"It's exciting, that's for sure. Next, we'll talk about the Right Back position, which was occupied for a long time by Erika Morningstar and then lost in transition for a while. However, with the emergence of Kai Xiao, the position looks to be in solid hands now, wouldn't you say?"

"That is true. Once Erika retired, there was a bit of a time of wondering who the next right back would be. Xiao has emerged to be the man. He's big though not particularly tall, and just physically imposing. He doesn't mind using that body of his, and he just has this relentless motor and aggression to him. It helps that Farrenton Athletic is not one of Eura's elite, meaning that he has to play stiffer competition all the time. This has hardened him into a hammer of a defender, one that the Chromatiks will wield happily."

"I wouldn't want to face him, that's for sure. The rest of the right backs aren't of any surprise to Chromatik fans - the trio of Dina Chapman, Victoire De Saint-Pierre, and Lina Watt return. Any reason why De Saint-Pierre and Watt haven't moved abroad? How is Chapman doing in Savojarna?

"FK Torpedo Pawlograd had a better season than expected in Savojarna, and Chapman was a part of their seventh place finish. She's one of the better backs at going up the pitch, too. As for De Saint-Pierre the energizer bunny and Watt the all-rounder, they're happy to be playing for IFCF contenders in Chromatika, and enjoy their status as some of the biggest domestic names in the League. In fact, when asked about it directly, Victoire admitted that being a known player in a smaller league was okay as long as she got to wear the black and white once in a while. It's a closely knit group in terms of age and playing style, the right backs. The four get along pretty well for a position group, and it really makes up Chromatika's backbone with the other three."

And that was a quick breakdown of the Right Backs. Before another commercial break, here's the next question: Will some of the records set by the likes of Keira Andisori, Luuk Aart, and the legends ever have a chance to be broken with the new fifty-person pool system? If not, what of the idea that the records should be redone since the fifty-person pool era?"

"Records are records. We don't get to redo them because the infrastructure got better and we got to have more players in the system. If anything, it means that every hundredth cap and every twentieth goal will be celebrated even more given the scarcity of appearances available. In fact, Chromatik footballers have far better opportunities to take care of their bodies and their families while playing the sport that they love now, and the fact that they get far less starts in qualifiers is not as important as that. Yes, the appearances and the goalscoring records of Keira Andisori may last for a long time or even ever as long as the fifty-man pool system continues; however, I think that that just means that Chromatika the nation just became that much better and learned to take care of its footballers."

Cut to break

"Now that we've talked about the Goalkeepers and the Right Backs, let's round out the defense... Starting with the Center Backs, the cornerpiece of the Chromatik defense. Henri de Aea is in the prime ages for a center back, and the Holdenberg player remains at large as an aerial defender and a sure tackler. He will hit 100 caps sometime this cycle."

"It has been fascinating to follow Henri's career, that's for sure. Now, there remains a razor thin margin between Cierra Anderson and Kattie Will. Who is de Aea's backfield mate, and what is that margin between them?"

"Honestly, that margin is so very slim. Anderson, as many know, is a great crosser, while Will is more of an in-your-face defender. What mattered between them was whom de Aea preferred. There is better chemistry between Henri and Cierra, and that's why Cierra gets the starts next to him. It's a bit of a sore spot for Kattie, but what can she do when it's a matter of personality and playing style and not skill?"

"That is a shame. How is the chemistry between Will and Giles Ken?"

"Giles Ken is very much like Henri de Aea. Solid in the air, great intangibles. He and Will are a good pairing. That leaves the rest of the center backs to play specific roles."

"What do you mean by that? They aren't paired up like de Aea - Anderson or Will - Ken?"

"No. Theodore Rondeau, White Baugh, Nadezhda Odling, and Damon Ingram all play different roles. Rondeau is stocky and mean, Baugh someone who seeks contact, Odling a diehard enforcer, and rounding out the group is Damon Ingram, who specializes in clearing headers. Ingram is the first player to be in the pool that plays in Tikariot.

"A good pool of them, indeed! Any right backs or center backs that barely didn't make the roster?"

"Mickie Antonucci that plays in the Red League's Anomalies gets a shout-out from the center back position. There aren't too many notable right backs out there, though some of those CCFA graduates may warrant a second look after a season or two."

"And now, to finish out the defenders: the Left Backs. We all know Valence Ilya is the man of the hour, but is there any surprises behind him?"

"No. It's the usual suspects just in a different order behind Mr. Consistent, Valence Ilya. He remains tall, coachable, and an in-game leader who knows how to tackle, pace, communicate... you name it. Nina Pomeroy takes the second spot, Tioux's teammate in Oakstone. She is quick and great at tackling, and most importantly, young. Miles Austic, the veteran, takes the third spot with a decent pace, a good head, and solid jumping skills. Pomeroy's rise has been coming and time in the Euraleague has done her good."

"What of Derron Nocturne and Jarret Rowles?"

"Jarret Rowles remains the master of microaggression and a inspiration in being a colorblind player, while Derron Nocturne is just at the right place at the right time. There is no denying the way Pomeroy has bettered herself, and she definitely has earned the spot behind Ilya."

"That rounds out the defense! Any last thoughts on the five players that will be doing all they can to keep the ball out of the Chromatik goal?"

"Don't forget Brisara FC's Marietta Adams - she's coming up. As for the defense as a whole, they're getting experience under their belt and a knack of playing together. I think they have a chance of being special."

"Before we head into the midfielders, let's tackle a big one: The Residency Rule. Your thoughts on the possible power disparity the rule may encourage?"

"If you look at it from the foreign player's perspective, the Residency Rule is amazing. It allows them to know that their place in Chromatika is secure. From the business perspective, it means getting better players into the league, which can lead to higher viewing numbers. From the competition perspective, it means that Chromatik teams can have a better chance against the teams in the multiverse. Where it hurts the most is in domestic talent development and in the promoted teams staying in the league for the five years it needs to get someone qualified for residency. That will be where the League will need to work on to get the rule ratified. I think it is a good rule, as long as enough is done to help the other teams."

Cut to break

"We are halfway through, and as we head into talking about the Wingers, or side midfielders, and the Defensive Midfielders, we have a surprise guest: Chromatik legend and Real Azuris legend Sandra Sybill!"

"Thank you for having me. It's nice to see you again, Jordan, and nice to meet you, Ms. Arling. Sorry I couldn't be here for the beginning, but I wanted to make sure I was here before we talked about the midfielders."

"The honor is mine, Ms. Sybill. You were active from World Cup 74 to World Cup 81, before the missed cycle of World Cup 82. What can you tell us is the biggest difference between now and then?"

"The formation, for sure. We ran a 5-2-3 for a while, and then a 3-5-2 for a long time. I used to form a triangle with Alyss Montague and Rachel Hellion, and I would be the shooter from range. I guess I played what the current administration would call the Attacking Midfielder position, but our formation back then had five midfielders so you can say that I know a bit about the position."

"What have you been doing lately? We haven't heard too much from the Harlighet Ligen in a few years. Are you still living in Cosumar?"

"Yes. I'm still the Midfielders Coach for Real Azuris, and loving it there. I live with two cats and a dog, and am perfectly happy living single while keeping tabs on some of the more adventuresome people."

"Good to hear that. Shall we, Jordan?"

"Very well. Right Wingers. Molly Thorben leads the list, slightly ahead of Kaytlyn Victoriane. Has she really lost that much of a step?"

"No, not at all. The better explanation is that this is the prime cycle for Molly, and Kaytlyn knows to let others have the spotlight. Don't worry, Victoriane is as sharp, fast, and deadly as ever - while Molly remains the possessive midfielder who prefers to run around and by people. It's a good partnership."

"I remember being on a few teams with both of those women. Kaytlyn could almost outrun Meagan Kelly, and Meagan Kelly was perhaps the fastest woman that I ever knew. As for Molly, she's grown into a fine player after her brother's departure with the Surisians... Ah, what memories that brings. Chromatika is lucky to have both of them still."

"That leaves Orianne Marc looking in at third, and Whitney Kelly behind him. What do you make of how the younger Kelly has been, and the emergence of Marc, Sandra?"

"Whitney is quite fast, too - it's in her blood. A lot has been said about the rivalry between Molly and Whitney, but to me, they're just younger siblings of two teammates that I treasure very much. It fills me with such joy to see them do so well. As for young Orianne? I like the way that he is so selfless. He is a scorer's best friend, and doesn't mind not getting the limelight. It's good to have a team player on the squad."

"And Augustus Humphreys rounds out the group of Right Wingers. The well-rounder listens well and has a positive presence on the squad. The rest of the pool at right wing remains a bit young and untested, so we are sending the five best players."

"Before we move to the Defensive Midfielders - the anchor of the squad - here's a question from both of you: Which past player, if they were in their prime right now, would make the biggest impact? You obviously cannot select anyone who's on the roster still, like Kaytlyn or Keira."

"Provided I can't pick myself... Gabriella Antonio. I've always wondered what kind of a career she'd had if she hadn't gone off to get married and have kids at such a young age. She played from WC 73 to 78 and then left. Nobody had the work ethic and the sheer willpower like Gabriella. I think she'd fit in well."

"I am also biased. One of my favorite players to watch growing up was Erika Morningstar. A big physical presence that makes sure every opponent knows where she is at all times can be utilized in any age of football, and she would have a blast working with Kai and the other Right Backs."

"I'll throw in my vote for Nikolai Thorben. Wish he'd stayed and helped along the next generation."

"To shift gears to Defensive Midfielders, the role that plays a key part in Chromatika's scheme that will often times see both wingers and both side backs help out on the attack. This position always stays back with the center backs while communicating with everyone. Leading the charge is the One-Eyed General, Enigma Armageddon, fresh off of winning the Republikliga with Energija Chernovets and a cap away from 100. Enigma is really thriving, and he will also wear the Captain's Armband this next cycle. He is the leader of the squad, and respected amongst all."

"I saw him the last few cycles of my career. I have never seen a young man carry so much presence in a room, regardless of how many veterans where there. It's unsurprising to see him do well. He's the next great leader on the squad after having Goalkeeper-led teams for a while."

"The switch-up happens behind Armageddon, where Kateryna Zuniga is now the second choice. She has youth, she has tenacity, and she just flat-out annoys people. Kai Dias, the wily veteran, rounds out the top three."

"Does anyone want any piece of those three? I sure don't. Enigma just has that one-eyed stare, Kateryna will flat out come at you, and Kai is a patient taker who'll outlast anyone. It's a great trio for this important position."

"Kateryna Zuniga reminds me at times of how Alyss Montague played. Alyss was a more in your face, but they both make sure their opposition knows who's on them."

"Min-Seok Kim is past the stage of working on fundamentals and now in the phase of his career where he's just a solid addition to any roster. Then, young Kaia Larriet-Cortes completes the position. What would you say to the pundits who claim that the only reason Kaia is on this team is because of her name?"

"I'd say to go watch her games. She has great awareness, above average conditioning for her age, and a fearless spirit. You can't teach spirit."

"She is Chromatik football royalty. She may be the niece of Franscesca, but she's also a hell of a player. Never doubt that."

"That rounds out the Defensive Midfielders. A quick question before we go to the Left Wingers: What is the public perception of how the team will do this qualifying cycle?"

"Our Social Media experts and Data Analysts tell me that the populace are very optimistic about qualifying, with more than half the population actually thinking that the Anomalies have a decent shot at getting the top place in the group. Anything short of qualification would be a disaster, as most of the country is still thirsting for the Second Round of the World Cup Proper. Before that, though, eighteen matches await, and the Chromatiks will have to take care of business."

"Players should take games one at a time, but so should fans. They'll need you."

"And now, to round out the three midfield players: the Left Wing position, now being vacated by Jazmin Dragana. What's your fondest memory of Jazmin, Sandra?

"I remember in her Brinemouth days when she had to go against Keira twice a year they'd bet steak dinners against each other for their matches. Whomever lost the match had to buy dinner but whomever had more missed shots on goal had to buy drinks. Not more goals, you know, because Keira as a striker had a better chance to score. They told me some wild stories about those dinners. For me personally? Jazmin had the cutest laugh when she was nervous. It's the small things you remember, you know?"

"That leaves Retta Conrad to be the first choice player, albeit maybe only through the qualifiers. Her instinct is to attack the ball all the time, leading to a lot of shots taken; most of them on target and a fair few actually scoring goals."

"You can't talk about Retta without talking about Vasiliy Marten Kuznetsov, who's right behind her and will likely surpass her soon. Kuznetsov is a star in the making who can do it all - drop back and defend, counter, cross, and shoot from range. The sky is the limit for him... or is Crossroads?"

"You can't fault the kid for being loyal to the club that singed him out of University. I'm sure that when it's time, they'll agree to part ways amicably."

"Exactly. It's not like he has a lot of competition, anyway. Ga-yeong Han, though still fiery, has lost a step due to age, and Sylvie Reynolds and Andréa Croix-Pierre are a few levels below Vasiliy."

"Croix-Pierre's ambidextrousness helps her out immensely, while Reynolds just has no holes. It is true, though, that everyone knows Vasiliy is the future, and nobody knows what will come after that."

"I do believe that rounds out the midfielders. Thank you for having me, guys. Go Anomalies! Be responsible while cheering on our team!"

"It's been a privilege, Sandra. As we cut to break, we present to you a five minute highlights video of Sandra Sybill's Chromatik career."

"Bye, Ms. Sybill!"

Cut to Break

"Thank you for sticking around this entire show. We're almost done, with only two positions left to cover: Attacking Midfielders and Strikers, the two positions that will, as usual, be counted upon to score. Let us start with the most creative position on the pitch: Attacking Midfielders."

"Hermaeus Mora is the unquestioned leader in the position, having accrued 89 caps in his career. He always plays on the edge of overcommiting, and those that don't know how to meet him simply fold. Mimi Kuzami is the security blanket of the position, being blazingly fast even at this point in her carreer."

"Mora, Kuzami. Then, Mi-Jung Kim, the other Kim twin, who is more of a lurker who hides behind bodies before striking lightning-fast. It's after these three usual suspects that things take an interesting turn. Shelby?"

"Yes, that is very true. Gone are Miranda "Lightning" Gail and Herlinda Sterling. Say hello to miss Haley Hauser and young Baillaire Fillar, the youngest player on the team. Hauser is the perfect story of waiting out the post-CCFA rush, having a solid season at Chromatik in the Red League, and now being bid for on the Transfer Wire. She'll either end up in Vermillion Rage of Nephara or join Silian Parker's squad of Falourr in Eura, and with all the upside that she has in terms of flair, creativity, and field vision, she could be the next star. Baillaire Fillar, on the other hand, is the second oldest Fillar behind Juxon. She has a striking figure, a deceptive smirk, and simply chaotic playmaking that leaves opponents in the dust. Between Hauser and Fillar, this position is in good hands in the future to come, and with Mora and Kuzami, it's in good hands in the present as well."

"That sounds amazing! What a group! Now, before we wrap up the discussion by going through the team's Strikers, What do you think Chromatik football's brand is?"

"Tough question. I think Chromatiks are hardy, dependable, stoic, and have a presence about them. We aren't flashy, we aren't the most creative, but we're probably the most persistent."

"An honest answer. Now, for the Strikers..."

"For the Striker pool, I'll discuss them two by two. Olimpia Vidal and Rowena Sierra are the undisputed first pair, with Vidal coming off of a brilliant debut season playing for Bastion in Eura and the Chariots' rise in the Nepharan Premiership. Whether it be Vidal finishing goals or Sierra just being at the right place at the right time, they'll get the job done. Did you know that Rowena has fashion deals lined up already? She's playing the game because she loves the game. That's it. Period."

"Then, it's Kristian Non and Beaunia Andisori. Non has never been the fastest guy, but he's a cunning guy, and just ambitious enough to keep playing. The younger Andisori, ranked ahead of her sister for the first time ever, is the dependable striker."

"Making her debut is Alicia Gainsbourg, now enjoying life in Graintfjall. She has a good head and an even better left foot, while Ignace Thibodeaux isn't afraid to just bulldoze people and initiate contact for the deciding goal. That leaves the legend Keira Andisori[/i] and [b]Paskal Toussaint who is good at counterattacks, tap-ins, and getting past the last defender to force a one-on-one."

"Why is Keira Andisori in this pool? I thought she was done?"

"There weren't many more strikers that could've been called up. So, we asked Keira if she would come back, play a few games, and lead from the locker room. She agreed."

"And that concludes the Strikers, and the discussion of all of the fifty players on this extended roster. Let us finish the show by talking about the schedule that Chromatika will face:

(27) Chromatika's Qualifying Schedule for World Cup 87
Matchday 1: vs. (16) Drawkland @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Central District, Chromatika
Matchday 2: @ (83) United States of Devonta
Matchday 3: vs. (111) Eastfield Lodge @ The Islander Dome, Myana, Myana Island, Chromatika
Matchday 4: @ (60) Mavinet
Matchday 5: vs. (328) Arklanda @ Z'ai'ai Field, Z'ai'ai, Mountain District, Chromatika
Matchday 6: @ (121) ZSeparatists
Matchday 7: vs. (199) Freechi @ The Islander Dome, Myana, Myana Island, Chromatika
Matchday 8: @ (365) Smosh Games
Matchday 9: vs. (355) Logano Fraza @ The Islander Dome, Myana, Myana Island, Chromatika
Matchday 10: @ (16) Drawkland
Matchday 11: vs. (83) United States of Devonta @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Central District, Chromatika8
Matchday 12: @ (111) Eastfield Lodge
Matchday 13: vs. (60) Mavinet @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromia, Central District, Chromatika
Matchday 14 @ (328) Arklanda
Matchday 15 vs. (121) ZSeparatists @ Z'ai'ai Field, Z'ai'ai, Mountain District, Chromatika
Matchday 16 @ (199) Freechi
Matchday 17 vs. (365) Smosh Games @ Z'ai'ai Field, Z'ai'ai, Mountain District, Chromatika
Matchday 18 @ (355) Logano Fraza

"All the games against the top seeds are in the first four, and then the latter five are all games the Chromatiks should win. Honestly, it'll come down to how many points they drop out of those ten matches, especially given how they are all in a row."

"To face Drawkland first and then have warmup games against Devonta and Eastfield Lodge before taking on the challenge of Mavinet will be a tone-setter. We should know a lot about how this cycle will go after those initial four games. Well, Shelby, it was an honor to have you join us today. Any final thoughts?"

"Just wanted to remind everyone that not one person made the decisions of who should be on The Fifty. It was a decision by the brass. Also, none of the players got to pick who they are on the squad with. I'd like to ask everyone to be cordial to the players that made it on the squad and to cheer them on as much as you can. Thank you!"

"Tomorrow, we will return to our regularly scheduled programming, where we will be discussing the final merits of the Residency Rule, and what provisions the Chromatik Football Federation could provide to the promoted teams to even out the potential effects. Until then, go Anomalies, and a good night to all."

---

Yes, this is the same post as the one on the Roster thread. I asked Ethane if that would be okay, and he was gracious enough to allow me to co-host. Thank you!

[Gyatso-kai]

.:: Ishii Family Estates, Ita’kiumi, Sundari Autonomous Region, Gyatso-kai ::.
0720 hours local time, 2 January 2021.1

The heavy morning mist still hung low to the ground in the woods, with the morning sun just slowly breaking over the top of the distant Kumi Mountains. As the sun broke over the peaks of Mount Ku and its shorter neighbor Mount Mi, the light began to hit the fog, breaking it and casting long shadows from the native veshok trees and armand pines. The local wildlife was quick to awaken in the morning hours; the kurs’ulik, a subspecies of native elk, were grazing in the clearings between the armand pines, while the even taller kurshi’ent browsed from the lowest branches of the vehshok trees, a mere four metres from the ground. High above these two beasts were the various songbirds of the region, who had all begun their morning reveille; shaking off the morning dew as the light returned to their homes.

Yet one sound was not native to the leeward slopes of the Kumi Mountains, though it was one that had been heard by the animals there for many generations.

The crushing of leaves and undergrowth was the only signal of the vehicle – an all-electric military-purpose scouting vehicle known as an M278 Xiemeng – as it drove through the woods. Weighing in at just over 400 kilograms unloaded, the vehicle’s electric powertrain betrayed its size. No weapons mounted on the vehicle, the Xiemeng instead depended upon speed and maneuverability to outrun better-armed opponents, as well as the weapons of those onboard. For this Xiemeng, the only weapons its rider possessed were a one-metre long kad and a well-used Mk57 service pistol. The vehicle had been used by its rider for the better part of ten years, being ridden every day out of its ‘stable’ and into the countryside to survey the landscape. Fallen trees were noted in the rider’s on-board helmet computer system for later removal, fences were checked and marked for repair, and even migration paths for the large kurs’olik were noted to be avoided for the coming weeks. On this trip, the rider was simply taking in the sights.

Or at least trying to before I leave for RepCity tomorrow… the rider thought as he turned the Xiemeng down a narrow break in the woods. It was a path he had taken many times, and it always led to the same spot; a large lake in the middle of the heaviest forested area on the homestead. It was a deep lake – thirty or so metres deep in the middle – and was host to countless freshwater fish species that had found their way through the aquifer and the Komaik’lo river that essentially bisected the northern part of the Ita’kiumi homestead. It was a beautiful lake, full of deep emerald greens on the shore and rich sapphire hues in the depths, and it was often a place one could lose themselves in deep thought… at least until someone would comm in and ruin the serenity.

Not today… Not unless Quỳnh uses the emergency frequency.

As the Xiemeng broke from the forest and came out onto a steep hill, the rider pushed hard on the throttle, and the onboard electrice engine kicked into full power to push the vehicle and its rider to the top of the hill. Once there, the rider would break the shadow of the Kumi Mountains and bask in the beauty of Suumpir, the Mando’a word for ‘lake’. The vehicle pushed, and just as it broke the darkness, the rider laid off the throttle, and let the Xiemeng roll to a stop at the plateau of the hill. Once to the top, the rider, satisfied with his timing, disembarked from the vehicle; his armor settling as he stood, it would once again fall into place as he sat next to the Xiemeng and glanced through his helmet at the lake. The computer system in his helmet started spitting out datapoints – 121 metres to the lake, elevation 1,240 metres, ambient temperature 18.3 degrees centigrade, Xiemeng battery 85% capacity – and the rider gave a deep sigh. Closing his eyes, he removed his helmet and took a deep breath before opening them again.

One last look Hakoda… before we return to hotels and planes…

Hakoda. Ishii Hakoda, the head coach of the Ice Bisons, the National Ice Hockey team for the Avatarian Republics of Gyatso-kai.

It had been a long few months since the Ice Bisons had been brutally eliminated in the quarterfinals of the World Cup of Hockey. Still, nearly six weeks later, it stung to think back to looking up at the scoreboard after sixty long minutes of play and see only three Avatarian goals on the board… compared to the eight that had been put against them by Mercedini. The only redemption was the great Dragonflies faced Mercedini in the Final Four, and took them down on their way to an all-Atlantian Oceania final with Siovanija & Teusland. While it had looked good to the National Sports Council to see our region so well represented, it did not look as good for the Ice Bisons to set a national record for most goals allowed.

Nature of the game, I suppose… Sometimes the puck just doesn’t bounce the way you want it to.

Main House, Ishii Family Estates, Two Hours Later

Pulling through the main gate, Ishii brought the Xiemeng to coast. He could tell by the lights on that his wife was already awake and had begun her morning routine; shower, dress, cook breakfast, read the morning headlines while await her husband’s return. Quỳnh Ngà was a patient woman, and certainly one that Ishii did not deserve – a fact that she constantly reminded him of in her playful manner – and as the quad rolled to the garage, Ishii could see her standing there in her usual morning attire. .

”Cyar’ika,” Ishii said as he brought the bike to a stop, his voice robotic through the vocoder of his helmet.

”Good Morning Hak,” Quỳnh said in return, her usually colder greeting betraying her affection for her husband. ”Good ride?

Ishii removed his helmet and shook loose his unusually-untied hair. ”As always. Suumpir looks wonderful this time of year. Maybe when I get back we can take an evening and spend it down there.”

“How long will you be away this time?”

“Oh, I am not sure.” Ishii groaned as he dismounted. ”The Sports Council just called me up for a meeting.”

“Can they not do it over Trio?”

“It must be important if they want a face-to-face instead of a video call.”

“Isn’t it a bit early for another tournament?” Quỳnh reached up, moving a single strand of hair away from her face; the depth of auburn hues in her hair in contrast to the stark white of her manicure. Her morning attire – a deep crimson robe cinched at the waist with a emerald green tie – stood in even more contrast to the cold industrial feel of the massive garage that was home to two Xiemeng, a repurposed JyuFeng military truck that Ishii would use to travel into the nearby villages, as well as a larger sports utility vehicle he used to drive to Sundari – a Sato Motors Pohuai that made the two hour drive to Sundari a bit more comfortable.

“We still have about three jì before we even start training camps.” Ishii began walking towards his wife, and she turned to walk to the kitchen. He stopped, stood on the cleaning pad for his boots, and attempted to remove as much dirt and mud as he could: It was customary for Mandalorians to never remove their boots unless to sleep safely at home, but with how his wife had grown up in the Earth Kingdoms, he knew she preferred a very clean floor and often walked around barefoot.

”So what do you think it is about,” Quỳnh spoke from the kitchen, the sound of utensils meeting plates signalling to Ishii that breakfast was ready.

”Honestly,I don’t know.” Ishii began walking through the hallway to the kitchen. The walls of the corridor leading into the kitchen from his garage were lined with various photos from all stages of his life; pictures of his father and mother, Hakomok and Plomda, along with his brother Mako to pictures of his time as Captain of the National Team, to his years at Itakawai and hoisting the Kuruk Cup an impressive six times in his career. There were also pictures of him and Quỳnh from various trips and vacations, and even a few from the early days when they had just started dating. She was from a middle-class Earth Kingdom family from Omashu, and they had met after a game between Itakawai and the Badgermoles; there was a dedicated Itakawai Lightning bar just outside of King Bumi Arena – seeing as how the Lightning and the Badgermoles were bitter rivals who had played six games a season until the realignment – and after the game, Ishii took some of the players out for drinks to celebrate.

And it was Quỳnh’s first nightas a bartender there.

”What about Adirolf?” Quỳnh asked, pouring a hot mug of coffee for herself before sitting at the table. Ishii could see the usual pre-trip breakfast situated before his wife, and he smiled as he finally was able to inhale the sweet aroma of roasted ita’roba sliced thin and served with a heafty portion of bing which, in order to fully enjoy, one would slice open at the thick disk-like wheat cake and stuff the ita’roba before eating. There were several eggs scrambled on the side, and a tall glass of orange juice to the side. ”Don’t you start camp there next month?”

“My dear sweet cyar’ika,” Ishii spoke first before sitting. He took a swig of the juice before pulling his plate closer. ”You are making me nervous about this trip. I’ll be gone a day, maybe two at most. It’s probably just a conference where they have some sensitive data they don’t want to discuss over a video line.”

Quỳnh came a sigh, before taking a long drink from her mug. ”I’m sorry, dearheart. You know how I am whenever you leave…”

Ishii reached across the table for his wife’s hand, and as she placed her hand within his, he could not help but admire the how delicate her hands were in his. He smiled, and she returned the smile.

”I always come back.”

The two continued to eat their breakfast. Ishii had packed the night prior – a simple day bag with two pairs of clothing, as he always wore his traditional Mandalorian armor whenever he travelled. Sundari was a short flight from Republic City, and if all went well, he would be home before the week’s end. Ishii checked his phone once during breakfast, seeing a missed call from Kad’e Tay’haai; the head coach of the men’s national football team, he had been communicating with Ishii for a bit about coaching strategies and about their lives since taking the first coaching positions since The Silence. Whereas Ishii had seen some success as of late, Tay’haai was struggling to garnish any sort of victories in football. Though, in the last AOCAF tournament, the Bisons did make it into the Round of Twenty-Four, which compared to tournaments past, was practically a championship. However, as had become second-nature for the Ice Bisons, it would be the Dragonflies of Ko-oren who would send home the Bisons with a single-goal victory and shutout.

Maybe I should talk to the Council about working out a home-home with Ko-oren. Might be fun…

If it is important, he’ll leave a voicemail, Ishii thought as he cleared his plate and stood, carrying it to the sink. Quỳnh was right behind him, and as he placed his dishes in the sink, she wrapped her arms around him from behind, and squeezed as much as someone her size could manage on a giant fram such as Ishii’s. He always smiled whenever she tried to wrap her arms around him, and as he turned around, she fell into his chest.

Silence. No voicemail. Cannot be too important…

[Central Shaneville]

CENTRAL SHANEVILLE - THE SCHEDULE REVEALED
Central Shaneville has just released the schedule for its World Cup qualifying group whilst inside sources to the team have given us some insight as to what they think of the matchups.

11th - MD1 - Flavovespia vs. Central Shaneville (Away) - Central Shaneville's first game in their campaign starts with an away game as group second seeds Flavovespia host the island nation who seem very excited to travel away to a nation they have never visited before, it should also be noted that Flavovespia is suspected to have a very young team which could make the game very difficult.
13th - MD2 - Central Shaneville vs. Muralos (HOME) - This will be Central Shaneville's first international game at their new Red Bull Arena.
MD3 - Havynwilde vs. Central Shaneville (Away) - A regional derby as Central Shaneville head away to Havynwilde, pundits expect this to be a close game as manager Jay Bucks says he is "looking to make a statement." in his usual confident, eccentric way.
15th - MD4 - Central Shaneville vs. TJUN-ia (HOME) - From this matchday up until the last one, Jay Bucks expects the competition to get very intense, TJUN-ia are the fifth seed in the group.
MD5 - Busoga Islands vs. Central Shaneville (Away) - The most interesting game on the first part of the schedule according to the media of Central Shaneville as the team will travel to the Busoga Islands, again another new nation to tick off playing against for Central Shaneville.
17th - MD6 - Central Shaneville vs. Hispinas (HOME)
MD7 - Nacaltora vs. Central Shaneville (Away) - The first of two back to back away games for Central Shaneville, playing away can sometimes be quite daunting for new teams especially this time round as Central Shaneville know nothing about neither Nacaltora or Acronius with several inside sources saying "As of right now, those two are massive unknowns."
19th - MD8 - Acronius vs. Central Shaneville (Away)
MD9 - Central Shaneville vs. Cassadaigua (HOME) - Central Shaneville play the top seeds at the Red Bull Arena this day, manager Jay Bucks saying that their training programme is mainly for this game. Is this a strategic error? only time will tell.

From the 22nd-30th January all the games you see will be played again however with the sides switched round meaning Central Shaneville will be hosting 5 more games in the Red Bull Arena against Flavovespia, Havynwilde, Busoga Islands, Nacaltora and Acronius whilst the second half of qualifying will also have 4 away games against Muralos, TJUN-ia, Hispinas and Cassadaigua.

[Muralos]

The Omniscient
a hawk’s eye view of the Muralosian sporting world
January 2021

The Muralosian national soccer team has been training on the campus of Urbego National University (also called Zamenhof University) for the past few weeks, while students— including the student athletes of Muralos’ University League— are mostly off campus for the winter holidays. This is the school from where midfielders Vilhelmo Lumin and Galina Shchedrina graduated: a point of pride for the Hawks, though it’s not as though other players did not attend university. It just so happens to be the case that Urbego National University is undoubtedly the most prestigious university in the entire nation.

Why do we call it "soccer" in Muralos? It's because Muralosians learn American English in schools instead of British English, which caused the term "soccer" to stick in all English-language Muralosian publications. Confusingly enough, soccer is futbalo in Muralos' official language, Esperanto. American football, which Muralosians call "football," is usona futbalo. This is a unique bit of language confusion in a country of language-learning enthusiasts. Citizens typically know three languages: Esperanto; a language they speak at home; and another language they've studied in school. As some people go even further, the national average of languages spoken is four languages.

Training for the Hawks has been quite consistent, if interrupted by several pre-qualifying friendlies that have shown mixed results. Muralos played unranked Garbelia twice, winning 3-0 in the first game and losing 0-3 the next. For some reason, friendlies have not gone as smashingly for Muralos as tournaments have. Teams with seemingly comparable skill and experience have thrashed the Hawks. Newly selected reserve striker and 15 year-old phenom Daniil Lee brushed it off: “it’s not a shock or a humiliation that we are losing to unranked teams, but a pleasant surprise that these unranked teams can debut against a squad like ours and win! I mean, they’re good, they’re legit. Come on now.”

Of course, captain Adamo Brava had to give the young Lee some perspective when he uttered that remark after the 2nd Muralos-Garbelia game.

"Just because we faced a great team does not mean that we have nothing to learn or correct; you always learn from your losses. Even now that you're on the national team, you haven't passed that point. The Garbelian squad played with an incredible defense this time around. They marked us well and it takes skill and strategy to outsmart a defense like that, which was also crafted with skill and strategy! You get that, I'm sure. We can rebound from upsets, but it needs to be done right."

Brava's advice, as it does here with the warning against complacency and conceit, often highlights the psychological aspect of the Muralosian national soccer team's game. For the Hawks, even before the recent merger of the men's and women's teams, this aspect has always been key. (Two cardinal principles: Convert the nervous energy into excitement and never think that you can't do what you've trained for.) Some thrillers among soccer matches have ensued as a result: on October 31, 2015, at the height of the Zombie pandemic that struck Asian Archipelago fiercely – though with few deaths – the former men's national team beat Li Qing 5 - 3. Amidst zombified fans and even some zombified players, there was no loss of team composure; the men's Hawks got through it.

Of course, in practice, the mental game applies to much lower-pressure situations: say, the Hawks' forays into international soccer competition for the first time since 2016. They have pulled it off, with one championship victory and two decent tournament finishes, but more can be done. Most people are hoping that sports journalists, including those from Muralos' esteemed sports newspaper La Gazeto de Sportatoj, will stop using that "for the first time since 2016" line and write about the Hawks as an established squad. The Cinderella story is nice, but the team has to go up from there.

Speaking of La Gazeto de Sportatoj (or La Gazeto for short), the managing staff over there have made some sweeping changes. After a slew of errors made in their recent coverage of the Baptism of Fire- from mistakenly naming the round in which the Hawks were playing, to basic arithmetic errors- they have finally tightened up their fact-checking and proofreading protocols. Ahead of the World Cup qualifiers, they have published little more than a match schedule and this blurb:

"The Muralosian national football team is participating in the World Cup qualifiers for the first time in the history of Muralosian soccer. The World Cup qualifiers are one of the largest sporting events in the world, with 190 teams participating in this most recent edition, the 87th. All matches for the World Cup will be broadcast live on RTM-1, Radio Muralana-Sportema, and rtmnet.mur."

La Gazeto also ran the Hawks' match schedule for the moment, which is reproduced below with additions from The Omniscient.

Match Schedule, with reactions from the players and coaches:

January 11th:

• MD1 - vs. Nacaltora @ City Stadium of Havenurbo, Havenurbo, Muralos ("Glad we're not facing a top-ranked team the first day." -Daniil Lee)

January 13th:

• MD2 - vs. Central Shaneville @ Red Bull Stadium, Shaneville City, Central Shaneville. ("Not an easy team to beat, but nothing out of the ordinary." -Koralo Petrov)
• MD3 - vs. Cassadaigua @ Komcatt Arena, Urbego, Muralos ("We'll need to play well or we might 'Cassa-die... gua......'" -Georgo Zhong)

January 15th:

• MD4 - vs. Flavovespia @ Flavovespia ("Another top-ranked team. Cool." -Valora Lin)
• MD5 - vs. Acronia @ Dynamo Stadium, Nord-Urbo, Muralos. ("Deep breaths, y'all." -Adamo Brava)

January 17th:

• MD6 - vs. Havynwilde @ Komcatt Arena, Urbego, Muralos. ("Seeing Havynwilde's best squad will be interesting this time." -Coach Jozefo Koltakov.)
• MD7 - vs. TJUN-ia @ Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong, TJUN-ia ("Finally, a known quantity!" -everyone)

January 19th:

• MD8 - vs. Busoga Islands @ Zemlinsky National Stadium, Urbego, Muralos ("Yeah, I don't know anything about them. But what's new?" -Ryo Takeda.)
• MD9 - vs. Hispinas @ Hispinas ("Baptism of Fire part 2, baby." -Rebeka Mori)

January 22nd:

• MD10 - vs. Nacaltora @ Nacaltora. ("Here we go again." -Galina Shchedrina)
• MD11 - vs. Central Shaneville @ Dynamo Stadium, Nord-Urbo. ("All right..." -Rodion Markov)

January 24th:

• MD12 - vs. Cassadaigua @ Cassadaigua ("I said what I said!" -Georgo Zhong)
• MD13 - vs. Flavovespia @ Zemlinsky National Stadium, Urbego, Muralos ("This will be a fun one." -Coach Pavel Li)

January 26th:

• MD14 - vs. Acronia @ Atlas Arena, Defense, Acronia ("It gets better, I think." -Adamo Brava)
• MD15 - vs. Havynwilde @ Havynwilde ("Look who's back, bois. We brought more players with us this time. And coaches!" -Coach Hina Kageyama)

January 28th:

• MD16 - vs. TJUN-ia at Komcatt Arena, Urbego, Muralos ("TJUN-ia's Chinese transliteration literally means 'refined elegant' while Muralos' sounds like 'wood pulling screws.' Amazing!" -Vilhelmo Lumin, who minored in Chinese literature)
• MD17 - vs. Busoga Islands @ Busoga Islands ("We're over the hump here." -Aleksandro Kim)

January 30th:

• MD18 - vs. Hispinas @ Komcatt Arena, Urbego, Muralos ("Not a bad way to close the qualifiers, barring the playoffs." -Johano Abramovich)

February 1st:

• Playoff 1

February 3rd:

• Playoff 2

This all that needs to be said about Muralosian soccer at the moment, at least until the coaches finalize plans for the lineup on Matchday 1. We at The Omniscient wish our Hawks the very best. Iru, Muralos, iru!

[Starblaydia]

OOC: This entire effort is the fault of NS Sports' Pronunciation Disputes, where various users record themselves attempting to pronounce some of the wackier and obtuse nations, sports clubs and characters that we've only ever seen written down in front of us. The fun in this one is 'listen to Star attempt to pronounce everyone's nation name', and was made in around 6 hours using Motionarray assets, and is in HD.

This video, linked from the image below, is unlisted on Youtube, but comes from the Craziness Encouraged YouTube channel, which will be premiering the first episode of Craziness Encouraged: An unofficial history of the NationStates World Cup on January 10th at 20:00 UTC. Watch along with us for the premiere by joining the NS Sports Discord, and you can also watch The Idiot Project: Episode 5, Chapter 2, 'Losing' straight after on Sunday's showing.

---

Starblaydia's most popular sports news TV station is here to bring you the official draw for the Qualifying Groups of World Cup 87. One hundred and ninety teams have been seeded into ten pots and then sorted into 19 groups, and we've got all the details on how they shake up.

There are tasty matchups all over the place, none more so - we'd argue - than Starblaydia's own visit to Equestria on Matchday One, in a repeat of the World Cup 83 Final, where the hosts of the 80th World Cup will go up against each other yet again in a tussle that could set the tone for the entirety of Group 12.

Simply click on the image below to watch the video.

[Garbelia]

New kits: Special episode!
By Garvida Rovers legend, Lutra Scratchington

The kit:

(Image)

(Image)

Interview with Mannes Kanako Eerkens, designer of the kit.

"Hi Mannes, thanks for agreeing to the interview."

"No problem Lutra, pleasure to be on the show!"

"You've obviously been designing kits for a long time."

"Yeah, almost as soon as I could draw, I made a Garvenord Rangers concept shirt. That was in the dark ages of shirt design, where... urgh... POLKA DOTS were the style. Even my first shirt was better than those... Monstrosities."

"You must have strong feelings on the subject then."

"Yes, I haven't stopped drawing concept kits since my first one, when I was a kid. It's like an addiction, but it's given me home, family and a life."

"How did you feel when you were asked to make the first ever shirt for the Garbelery national team?"

"I was honoured, Lutra. It was a dream come true."

"So what was your inspiration for this shirt, which has attracted criticism for containing writing outside a national flag, and indeed no flag?"

"I was watching some kids play in the street. A cat, a human, a ferret and an otter. The human was holding out a hoop for the others to try and jump through. The ferret jumped too low, the cat didn't fit through, but then the otter slipped through with ease. I doodled the charming scene, and thought it might be good to use as an 'O' if we ever got a national team. I made a kit in yellow and black, put it up on a website, and then when I had a message from the new team asking if they could use it. About the lettering, I'd just say that we have to stand out."

Fan Interview:

"Hi Shun , thanks for agreeing to the interview."

"No problem Lutra, pleasure to be on the show!"

"What are your feelings on this new kit?"

"Mixed, I have to say. I do prefer traditional kits, but if this is what it takes to get noticed by the world, I'm willing for my players to dress in mouldy seaweed dresses."

"So you aren't a fan of the new design?"

"No, not really. I would have preferred our flag colours on the kit, and the writing is just weird. No, a good set of blue, red, green stripes with a white trimming and national flag would do me just fine."

"Well, that is ominous. We'll find out what happens about this fan discontent in our first match, against Græntfjall on the 11th, watching from the press boxes. Tune in to PGBS Sport for live coverage, and until then, goodbye!."

View from Venjolath Road will be broadcast on both radio and television daily until the end of the WC Qualifiers, and will be available as a podcast afterwards. Find goalkeeper Ottery McOtterface's top 5 favourite goalkeepers ever in the next episode.

[Acronius]

Acronia the Accursed -- Squad Analysis

In some forgotten, sleepy hollow deep within the Acronian shire, the nation's favorite laughingstock sheepishly assembles anew, its constituents listlessly strewn about on a downtrodden tract of grass, ashamed of an eventuality that has yet to befall them; but one which they know to be inescapable. This is the Acronian national football team - and one of its lousiest iterations since its inception nearly four decades ago. Not an especially comforting notion for what hapless old fools remain of its supporters, particularly when taking into account that every single incarnation of the team to date has failed to qualify for the World Cup. Nineteen times it bravely ventured forth with entirely unfounded audacity; nineteen times it was sent home soundly beaten black and blue.

Regrettably, it must venture forth once more for a twentieth embarrassment. Fanciful notions of hope and other assorted banalities are ones the masochistic stragglers still supporting this intergenerational failure of a team readily disabused themselves of many, many years ago. Unfortunately, their continued patronage of this side obligates them to suffer the pain of reading an analysis of yet another Acronian side imminently entering a World Cup qualification campaign it is preordained to flunk by an otherworldly authority. Here it is.

Few remain of the great Acronian bottlejobs of cycle 86. Though a tragic loss, there is perhaps a quantum of solace to be taken in the continued presence of David Pascale in this side, insofar as he ranks among the few Acronian footballers of recent years who could look into the world-weary eyes of a supporter of the Acronian national team and not immediately look down in shame, fully cognizant that he was immediately responsible for what pained tears of wrath welling up within them. Captain Marin Trésor is perhaps the only other player on this squad matching the above criterion. Pascale's boldness as a target man and his completeness as a goalscorer, combined with Trésor's natural passing ability and his strong statesmanship as team skipper represent the lone thread by which this side hangs on - something that does not bode particularly well for the future of Acronian football considering both are entering the twilights of their careers. Distinctly average goalkeeper Michael Rowland is the only other player who will have started for Acronia in the previous World Cup qualification campaign as well as the upcoming one.

A half familiar face in Michael Fromme presents itself in midfield. It certainly would have been preferable for his face to have been familiar or recognizable for any sort of footballing exploit rather than for having been knocked unconscious and discarded into the janitor's closet of a Vdaran stadium shortly before a WCQ match in order for some rogue Hapiloppian shithouse to steal his identity and execute a deep cover operation consisting of roundhouse kicking a player from Vdara in the middle of a match in the name of some asinine vendetta, but when you make a conscious decision to support a team like Acronia of your own volition, you have no one to blame but yourself for having to endure the endless ignominy which comes part and parcel of that decision. To Fromme's left, up-and-coming rookie David Garner completes Acronia's central midfield pairing. A promising and intelligent playmaker often likened to captain Marin Trésor, Garner likely spends every minute of every hour of every day cursing his luck for having been born on Acronian soil and thereby being condemned to play for a team amounting to an affront to football.

An untested partnership of uncapped centre-halves in Jérôme Karam and Roger Meyo will provide dubious cover for Michael Rowland, but picking the likes of Marc Papineau and Sergio Bautista instead would have essentially been footballing suicide considering their performances in the last qualification campaign. Ibrahim Obeng and Samuel Njoku finish off the defense on either flank, and though they are arguably better players than the centre-backs, Njoku's talent is counterweighted by his complete lack of enthusiasm for international football, and judging by the agitated seismogram that is his form chart, you would think Obeng was under some sort of contractual obligation commanding him to singlehandedly bottle two games for every one game he performs well in.

Much has been made of the undistinguished but adequate Antony Saint-Saëns' appointment to the right wing over the apt Victor Paz, and the latter will almost certainly be making routine appearances off the bench and challenging for a spot in the first team. Finally, the young and impulsive Loïc Taubira caps off Acronia's starting eleven on the opposite wing, and though a spirited and pacy addition to the forward line, Taubira's ball-playing abilities, or the lack thereof, might lead one to the conclusion that he would be better suited to the 100 meter sprint than association football.

---

STARTING XI VS CASSADAIGUA
4-3-3 (DM)

PASCALE
TAUBIRA -------------------- ST-SAËNS

GARNER ------ FROMME
TRÉSOR

NJOKU -------------------- OBENG
KARAM --- MEYO

ROWLAND

Goalkeeper: Michael Rowland
Defenders: Ibrahim Obeng, Samuel Njoku, Jérôme Karam, Roger Meyo
Midfielders: Marin Trésor (c), David Garner, Michael Fromme
Attackers: Loïc Taubira, David Pascale, Antony Saint-Saëns

[Yue Zhou]

outside Yangzhou Union National Medical Center
Yangzhou, Beiyun

It was sort of my idea to bring him in the first place. So I guess this does make the whole thing my fault.

There were four of us traveling then - me, Dong Daiyu, Liao Weizhe, and Meng Huizhong. The whole thing was Daiyu’s idea. She’d been one of the key figures in the storming of Shanyueguang Plaza, what had basically been the start of the revolution, and central command had tapped her to lead a diplomatic mission to Nanhai. The separatist southern province’s governor, Zheng Zhoulun, had demanded an envoy to visit in person, and although the revolution was only tenuously clinging to a few office buildings in Beian, they’d opted to send her out.

I was the nominal second-in-command. I’d vaguely studied some politics in university, along with my major in comparative literature, and by the revolution’s standards, that made me more than qualified enough to back Daiyu up on a diplomatic mission. The other two were mostly there for muscle, although Weizhe was a bit of a rising star in the revolution despite his Graintfjaller origins, and Huizhong’s history with the Yue People’s Army - word on the street was that he’d made lieutenant colonel before the purge - made him a valuable asset.

The plan had been simple - make the two-day drive up north to the coast, get a boat to Nangang from one of Daiyu’s contacts, and negotiate some support from Zheng Zhoulun’s massive stashes of foreign-bought weapons and ammunition. The war against General Chen Guochuan’s military coup - turned - autocratic governing committee couldn’t be won by our revolution alone, especially considering how poorly funded and undermanned we were. The less idealist but indubitably better-funded southern separatists, on the other hand, had been steadily making progress against the government, capturing large swathes of land along the southern coast and islands, and we’d hoped that they could share their success with their northern neighbors. With the Sangauese warfare seeing only incremental progress via guerrilla warfare, and the original government holing out in Xihaishi for the discernable future, establishing a rapport with Nanhai was our best shot.

I was tasked with reporting back to Beian and figuring out distribution after we made contact with Zheng Zhoulun, something I was unbelievably unqualified to do, but that I would have to nevertheless. That was the revolution for you - full of enthusiastic northerners who wanted a better life, but light on manpower, and lighter still on expertise. It had been an encouraging spring for pro-democracy forces in Yuezhou, and central command had been riding that high ever since, greenlighting an array of increasingly risky side projects. Still, a few days of driving and a boat ride (for an island nation, Yuezhou had a remarkably underdeveloped navy, having largely lost superiority to the Nanhai separatists already) to Nanhai was so easy, even we couldn’t mess it up.

When we first saw him? Honestly, just seeing a Yue People’s Army truck made us think there was another road checkpoint coming up again - the National People’s Revolutionary Committee had started setting them up in Beiyun immediately after the revolution started, aiming to cut off unapproved transportation in the northern provinces. Admittedly, these were only as secure as the men manning them - so, with the right combination of bribes and doctored documents, not very - but the threat of being caught at each one still sent chills down my spine whenever we passed by one. Of course, we immediately realized it wasn’t when the kid had popped up in front of our truck, waving his arms - we then realized that not only was the truck’s driver not in the YPA, but he clearly had no idea what was going on in the country.

Dong Daiyu had insisted we keep going, but he’d looked so harmless that I didn’t see any harm in stopping for him. If things got out of hand, well, we were armed and he wasn’t. Luckily, it again became immediately apparent that, although he did look pretty fit, things weren’t going to get out of hand. If only we’d known.
I think he’d asked us for gas? He’d been driving...somewhere (he wouldn’t say where) and had broken down on the side of the road. We obviously weren’t going to give gas to a guy who’d just stepped out of a Yue People’s Army truck, especially someone as vague about where he’d come from as ‘Jia Wanghui’ (that was the name he’d given us) was, though.

“Come on, let’s just leave him,” Weizhe had said after we’d rolled up the windows to discuss. “He doesn’t know we’re from the Revolution, so we don’t have to...do anything, but he’s obviously not going to do anything for us.”

“He’s going to die if we don’t help him out,” I’d countered, surprising even myself. “Look at the kid, just jumping and waving at anyone who passes by, camping out in what’s probably a stolen YPA transport. At some point, the army will find him, and after that who knows what he’ll say about us to get out of their interrogation sessions.” Huizhong had just shrugged, as was his custom, and so we turned to Daiyu. “Yeah, we can at least give him a ride,” she’d replied, and so it was settled.

So we’d picked the kid up - as it turned out, he was also trying to get on a boat, so we said we’d drop him off on the Beiyun coast before presumably splitting up. We’d stashed him in the trunk of our station wagon, under a compartment we’d built in case of a particularly zealous checkpoint inspector, and off we’d headed for the coast. We didn’t know what was about to hit us.

Did we know who he was at the time? Well, if we had, we wouldn’t have picked him up, of course. The revolution wasn’t in a state where footballers could be useful for us, not even fugitives from the Yue People’s Army. Maybe if things had already gotten going, we could’ve brought him back to Beian as a spokesperson of some sort. But honestly, going by Jia Wanghui was probably the right move for him - we should’ve left him to the YPA. Would’ve gotten the mission done a lot quicker, I can tell you that.

Starting Lineup, MD1 @ Lorrana (4-2-3-1): Ruo; Kang, Han, Ren, Zhu; Guo, Yang; Liu, Wen, Gu (C); Huang

[Mercedini]

OFFICIAL MERCEDINIAN WORLD CUP ANTHEM

Julien Menzali - "Reach For Me"
Tune: Boy In Space & NOTD - "Therapy"
Music: R. Mutso-Zemini, J. Menzali, M. Frinic • Lyrics: J. Menzali, E. Ilinya

As the night grew darker above the the skies of the Zoloroni Sports City Stadium, it was time for the Official Mercedinian Anthem to be played out in front of a capacity 74,000-person crowd before their match against their MD2 opponents, San Ortelio. For the most recent cycles, Mercedini had always been at home for their campaign opener, for the past two editions, they begun their trip away from home, with the team beginning their World Cup journey in Sannyamathland. A day later, the anthem could finally be revealed which has become a staple of the Mercedinian World Cup campaign. It was to be young Zoloroni-native Julien Menzali to fly the flag for the 86th World Cup, with his song 'Reach For Me', written especially for the World Cup campaign when application to fly the flag were open. Following the previous song 'Ali' sung in Mercedinian, the World Cup Anthem will be back in it's regular language of English, to increase international accessibility to the song.

Julien stood in the middle of a raised stage in the centre of the Sports City Stadium pitch, with home and visiting fans in their tens of thousands surrounding him and his setup as the opening melody rings out. As soon as the song begins, Julien is singing to the camera which is broadcasting to millions across the multiverse. He is already up on the raised stage as the manned-camera films him and his dancers in the middle of all the action. A wide show cuts in the middle of the first verse, showing the scope of the stadium and the fans with a wide-sweeping shot, lighting up the Zoloroni night.

Stone hearts, think it’s time to let it go
We start, speeding down the open road
Can’t pretend we can be better this time
Hmm, yeah

As the beat of the song kicks in, a light-pink flower begins to flower on the platform where Julien is standing. The crowd is cheering loudly which is picked up by the stadium microphones as the second half of the first verse. Pulsing pink lights begin to shine on the stands around the pitch, bathing the crowd in a soft, pastille pink colour, which matches the blooming flowers on the stage and the clothing of the dancers which surrounds the Mercedinian performer. Julien opens his body language to welcome in not only the home fans who have made their way to Zoloroni, but also to the away fans in the stadium, and those watching from around the multiverse. Those who have made the long trip to Mercedini are regularly greeted to a party atmosphere for the first home match of the campaign, with hope that is typically snuffed out early on. Nevertheless, the opening Mercedinian home match is always a party, no matter who is involved and no matter happens.

Kickstart, we all wait for better weather
We look for ways we can get back together
Times were good but we know we can’t rewind
Holding hands along the border
Hoping we hear laughter soon
Thinking we can rock the nation, just to see our game fall through

A floating camera dips down towards the centre of the pitch where Julien is waiting, he offers his hand to the camera as it approaches before singing into it. The orchestral vibes begin to slowly slip away to make way for a dance drop. Behind him is the crowd who are off their seats and are waving their flags that were waiting in their seats when they arrived, soft white fabric catches the light and asks as a solid surface to project the flags of competing nations in the background of the performance. The song builds in intensity, with the lights and the colours around the stadium reflecting that as they begin to concentrate on the pitch. Projectors on the stadium shine down of the pitch, illustrating a floral garden which is spreading across the pitch as the chorus approaches, filling the normal green grass with flora and fauna.

Save me
Save me from the outside
I’m craving, craving for a light tonight
Gonna find the time just to let it go
Maybe, we can treasure life more
It’s hazy, but we will find a way to be
And if you’re in need just reach for me

The flashing lights subside but the faint beat remains in the song, giving Julien time to make the transition to make his way across the pitch and towards a second stage. Julien's accompanying dancers make up a human wall as the young performer walks past, where there is a large group of young people surround a small circular stage holding torches up high. They individually light up with their own colours, but when seen from a distance they form a much bigger picture. The television transmission picks this up from it's aerial shot, with the lights forming the wings of the national icon, Dini, the Mercedinian golden eagle. The elevated camera sweeps back to the middle of the stage where Julien has been joined by his dancers who walk him back to the second stage for the second chrous.

Our world is crying out for love sometimes
But can you hear? Hear the ones that helps up thrive
Within us is a heart by design

Holding hands along the border
Hoping we hear laughter soon
Thinking we can rock the nation, just to see our game fall through

The second chorus begins with much of the same beats and vibes as the first, as Julien takes in the full force of the song and sings to the tens of thousands in attendance, before he turns his back to it and a manned camera moves to face him. Light flicker across the upper ring of the Sports City Stadium, which shine down on the fans in the stand, and also out into the Zoloroni night sky. A drone shot above the stadium brilliantly shows the stadium bouncing with the skyscrapers and office buildings in the background, still operating this late at night as the commercial hub of the nation.

Save me
Save me from the outside
I’m craving, craving for a light tonight
Gonna find the time just to let it go

Maybe, we can treasure life more
It’s hazy, but we will find a way to be
And if you’re in need just reach for me (in need, just reach for me)

Julien walks back to the centre stage with the same young Mercedinians equally spaced across the pitch waving their flashing torches above their head, with many members of the audience waving their in the stands to accompany them. Menzali stands in the centre of the raised stage on a somewhat chilly Zoloroni night for the music break in the song. Several sweeping shots around the stadium take in all the action, all a pre-cursor to the action later tonight

Flashing lights on the stadium roof shine down onto the pitch once again, with the television feed cutting between the action of the performers and dancers, to members of the crowd bobbing about with happiness.

Gonna find the time just to let it go
And if you’re in need just reach for me

The music cuts rather abruptly as the lights around the arena converge onto Julien who lifts his fist to the sky with the microphone in his hand. The end of the song is met with rapturous applause from the crowd, with most of the standing to applaud the performer before bursting into their usual footballing chants before the match. Julien takes in the atmosphere and takes multiple bows to different areas of the stadium before thanking the crowd and the viewers at home.

"Grazij, Mercedini. Andiamo!" Julien Menzali waves to the crowd as the dancers begin to file off the pitch and preparations are made for the start of Mercedini vs. San Orelio. Music and Sport unites us, and brings two sides together in harmony. The television cuts back to the commentators of each host broadcasters before the match begins...

[Krytenia]

Lucky Seven?
By Rami Niblick in Emberton

IN all honesty, things could be worse. The draw for World Cup 87 has placed Krytenia in a group where qualification is a distinct possibility, avoiding the heavyweight names of Banija, Baker Park, Vilita and Starblaydia and instead landing them with an intriguing pair of games against Farfadillis. That's not to say the remaining teams in the group should be underestimated - far from it - so without further ado, let's take a look at our opponents in Group Seven.

Socialist New Britain
Matchdays 1 (a) and 10 (h)
A complete unknown to start us off, SNB will be the Dragons' first opponents as they hope to start off the qualifying campaign on the right track. Of course, that's by no means a given, considering that the last two World Cup campaigns for Krytenia have kicked off with the Wet Bog Roll disaster against Omerica and an embarrassing four-two loss to Sulsuland. Let's hope things don't come in threes. Matchday Ten's game, incidentally, will see the Dragons facing off against SNB in Beckton, as Supermarine's Orange Street ground gets a rare chance to host the national team.

Squornshelan Remnant States
Matchdays 2 (a) and 11 (h)
This is not the Squornshelous of old - well, it is, but only half of it. The politics are a complex and touchy subject that we don't need to delve into for the purposes of an international football preview. Suffice to say we've played this portion of the country all of once, with the SRS triumphing four-three in the 75th Cup of Harmony. We're hoping that a couple of wins against a potentially dangerous fourth-seed opponent will send them into the Cup of Harmony without us. They'll visit Royal Emberton's Oxley Park for their Matchday Eleven game against us.

Caryton
Matchdays 3 (h) and 12 (a)
Caryton are definite minnows in the World Cup pool right now, but they'll get that big-match experience when they walk out to the pitch at the Southern Arena for the Dragons' home opener. The Guardians fell out of the Baptism of Fire at the Round of 32 stage, and in all honesty shouldn't be a massive obstacle for the higher ranked teams in the group. Shouldn't being the operative word.

Farfadillis
Matchdays 4 (a) and 13 (b)
Let's not be under any illusions here. Farfadillis, according to the Official KPB Rankings, are the third best team in the competition and will be formidable opposition. In addition, our record against the Farves is quite atrocious, with only one win in six meetings. The team in red and toxic waste green got a win and a draw against us during the last AOCAF Cup - hopefully Paul Davis will have noted where his mentor went wrong and do a little better this time around. Matchday Thirteen will be a cauldron of noise at the Isserson in a match that could well decide who qualifies automatically for the World Cup.

Bongo Johnson
Matchdays 5 (h) and 14 (a)
A team that looked like they were going to break into the big time a few Cups ago is now on an almost terminal decline, as their 170th-placed ranking will attest. Probably no better time to play them, then. Surprisingly, Krytenia have never met this lot before - that'll change on Matchday Five, with Aigburth Athletic's charming old ArenaWest ground the venue.

Southwest Eastnorth
Matchdays 6 (a) and 15 (h)
SWEN's World Cup 86 campaign was little short of abysmal, finishing rock bottom of their group. They're probably not too enamoured with having to play Poafmersia again, never mind having to visit Abbey Road on Matchday Fifteen. One word of caution, though; SWEN are ranked just behind Rangers FC in the rankings, and we all know what happened with them.

Poafmersia
Matchdays 7 (h) and 16 (a)
Truth be told, we could do without a trip to Fiskadaha City down the stretch. Poafmersia are a dangerous opponent, and were unlucky not to pip an underwhelming Audioslavian team to a World Cup playoff berth last time out. It's crucial the Dragons pick up three points in Avidia on Matchday Seven, as getting our noses in front of the Red Panijas is by no means an easy task.

West Zirconia
Matchdays 8 (a) and 17 (h)
A warm welcome back to West Zirconia; it's been too long. Just...don't expect us to gift you points, as we kind of need them ourselves. Technically, the form book is in our favour, as we're unbeaten in our last six games against them, but considering the last of those games were qualifiers for World Cup 62, perhaps we shouldn't read too much into that. The Zirconians will be Krytenia's last home opponent, with the Cygnus Stadium doing the honours in that regard.

Gyatso-kai
Matchdays 9 (h) and 18 (a)
We first met these guys just a short while ago, in the Round of 24 of the last AOCAF Cup. A three-nil win was very much needed after a slow start to the campaign, so hopefully the tyres will be warmed up by the time they visit Ashton on Matchday Nine. We could have picked better for a potential last day must-win game; then again, we could have picked worse.

So there you have it. On the face of it, it looks like a three-horse race for the top spot - maybe four if the SRS can get their act together - but as has been the case in the last few qualifying campaigns, the biggest hurdle for the Dragons is not dropping points against sides they've foolishly underestimated. If they can slay the ghosts of Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison, Rangers FC, and Sulsuland, the promised land is but eighteen steps away. Onward!

[San Ortelio]

As the smoke machines put in some overtime, Gianmarco Del Prete sat back and watched the mayhem unfold below him. After all those years, IlRocca still had the same impact on him as the first time he set foot in it. He was not sure who had invited him to this nightclub on that occasion but in a way, he had never left. You could ponder whether the term ‘nightclub’ fully suited the bill for this temple of hedonism. Located on the tip of a cliff overlooking the ocean, using the remnants of an old lighthouse complex as its starting point but descending meters deep into the earth, it would be the easiest place to clean out for a decent police force. Within minutes, they could roll up half of the illegal scene in the nation but Gianmarco had seen enough high-ranked officers stroll around in here, out of uniform and dignity, trying to pick up girls half their age, to know this was not going to happen. On top of that, the management of IlRocca still knew a thing or two about privacy as every once and a while, even if there were, well… There were nuisances.

“Hey, you! Yeah, you up that floor! You are Del Prete! You are La Leggenda!”

It would, with no exception, be a guy in a polo shirt and probably one that looked a tad out of place. That was a tad out of place. The regulars knew who he was and didn’t care. Those with potential to become a regular would not bother him. They were not here to hawk at the who’s who of the Ortelian scene, they were exactly here to escape that world and leave all its boundaries behind for a trip to their personal nirvana. In case of the above event, there were two options.

“You’re the man, Del Prete! Big fan!”

If Gianmarco was in the mood for it, he would sign a coaster and whip it down to the main floor, giving a little souvenir to his own peace of mind. Otherwise, he would simply wave and sit back a bit more, obscuring him from the sight. The pounding bass soon would invade the invader, luring him to other places in or beyond IlRocca. Well, that was the good scenario, Gianmarco knew, and tonight was not one of those nights.

“Hey, Del Prete! Haven’t you got a game tomorrow? It’s a fuckin’ international, man, what are you doing here?”

A glance to the stairway was enough and the tall wardrobe who disguised himself as a bouncer would step forth and make an end to the scene. Rocco, the wardrobe called himself, Rocco of IlRocca, still chuckling each time about the wordplay. His shoulders made sure you wouldn’t get annoyed about that joke in due time, but in general he was quite friendly to Gianmarco – about as friendly as a man needs to be to a steady revenue stream. As oft times before, Rocca did exactly what he had to do with the sound of a mime and the subtlety of a plough. The shouting lad remained on the floor for a second or ten before scuffling to the exit on hands and knees.

“Jezus, why on earth would you…” Gianmarco sissed between his teeth to no one in particular.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetie,” the blonde to his left [Lucia? Lucilla? Lucinda? Why bother] comforted, having been petting his arm and leg none stop ever since he had taken his usual seat. It was… Nice, he guessed? She did make sure the glass and the bathroom mirror remained supplied, so he accepted her presence.
“I was here the night of the Tikariot game and well… We know what happened there.”
“You scored a marvelous free kick,” the brunette at the other side cooed, “the highlight of the night.”

Gianmarco doubted whether she had actually seen the game live – her interest in football did mainly revolve around his own persona – as she probably had to work that night as well. Otherwise, he considered her quite delightful, worth more than just some stroking in the lounge.

“Indeed. So for that second leg of the Coppa Odiol, I’ll be there. I always show up when I need to, … Ehm…”

Damnit. It annoyed Gianmarco but indeed, his wife remains right – he really is poor with names.

“I’m very sure you deliver when needed,” she whispered in his ear, before swinging back her hair and swaying to the bar on her towering heels, in search of another glass of champagne and a tumbler of whiskey. As she disappeared from his sight, Gianmarco took up the lounge. Despite the line at the door and the dance floor filled to the brim, the place had a certain calming effect and in between the snares and the drums, you could even have a conversation here. Most faces were familiar and not only to the visitors. Without stepping out of his chair, Gianmarco could cross a senator of his list, a high court judge who had chased more down his nose than he could ever condemn people for, a notorious tv presenter who contemplated hooking the tab directly to his veins and an actress who was, in this place, as known for her lead roles as for her habit to pull three or four guys in a single night.

Seated in the furthest corner in what the casual onlooker would consider the least cozy spot of the lounge, a duo hid whom the man in the street probably never laid eye on. Within a small country such as San Ortelio, a place like LaRocca quickly gained a reputation and hit the magazines quite frequently. On these occasions, Claudio Barzi would take the limelight, focusing on the ‘importance of this place in the development of our domestic electronic music scene’ or the ‘good work they did for the employment of aspiring light and sound technicians’. Barzi was the face of this place, one filled with a toothpaste smile and a Botox past, a clown yet an artist with words. In reality, he simply was the concierge and the two men in that dark corner owned every single stone of this building.

Over the years, Gianmarco had become intrigued with them. He had met them for the first time long ago or rather, they met him. After his first visit, at a time when his footballing fame was still growing, IlRocca drew him back time and time again, whether he wanted to or not. He rarely mingled with the dancers but not because he didn’t like the bodies pounding one another at a sound of a satanic rhythm. Gianmarco preferred to observe from beyond, lurking from the shadows. In time, his eyes wandered to the top floor, exalted over the chaos of searing passion, secret sales and sweaty seduction. They were not always there but no one else would ever be seated there. One night – after a victory over Sportiva, he remembered – he again was observing that dark side of the upstairs floor and one of the brothers looked him square in the eye. It was a split second but suddenly Rocco appeared in front of him. At that point, Gianmarco would have sworn that he would leave this place with one less kidney, but the wardrobe took him to the duo who introduced themselves as Ercole and Eduardo Cartola. They offered him a spot in the lounge, or rather a membership, and their lifelong friendship.

He hadn’t spoken to them ever since.

Today again, their glances shortly crossed and Ercole, the more outgoing of the two, nodded with a meagre smile. It was one of those faces that didn’t tell you anything, a bit forgettable even. If he stood in front of you in the supermarket, you would not recognize him a minute after.

It was not the moment to ponder upon this as the DJ faded his track into a more systematic rhythm, a pace that was easily recognized by those who had witnessed it before. It was lower and slower than what the master of ceremony had placed on his turntables in the past few hours but yet it gripped everyone, those who had curled into one another in the center stage and those who embraced the loneliness, those who filled their noses on the toilet seats and those who emptied their glasses at the bar. The lights changed their hue into the nearly oceanic deep version of purple which was the trademark of IlRocca. This was the signal – it was showtime, and that never disappointed. Acrobats in loincloths who swung around the room, stroboscopes who turned the place into a 3D cinema, exotic dancers who suddenly switched the theme of the night upside down, … One time, they had even brought in life lions who walked, in glass tubes, over the audience. Del Prete still wondered who was more sedated, the animals or the group near the bathroom stalls.

Tonight’s show opened with a large ball being slowly dropped from the sky – glittering like a disco ball. It twirled and turned, reflecting the flashlights in all directions to give a mesmerizing atmosphere. One could not redirect his eyes from the source of this all and there were some ecstatic cries heard when with a loud crack, a part of the ball crackled off and disappeared into the ceiling. Bit by bit, rhythmic on the beat which sped up again, more came off now and a gigantic hamster ball got revealed. As the metallic shield came off, it became clear that a woman stood inside it – although curled would be a better word as she lay across the floor of it, one leg lifted. She was clad so archetypically scantly, so textbook vamp for this place, that even Gianmarco considered a bit much at first, until he got a good look at her.

The brunette from before would not cross his mind again that evening, let alone Lucia. (Lucille? Maybe. Goddamned.) She had raven hair and a complexion which reminded him of deep dark mahogany wood. As all metallic pieces were gone she rose and danced as the crowd rejoiced. Now the light no longer blinded ones sight, you could notice that smaller hamster balls had been hung across the ceiling, each with a dancer within. Yet Gianmarco only had eyes for one, the one with… There are a myriad of cliches to describe the impression she left on him but it suffices to say that the centerpiece of this show was a woman who could not be compared to anyone he ever had laid eyes on before. It slightly disappointed him that the act turned into a striptease, as he wanted to share as little of her with the crowd as possible. Yet as she swung of her top and the people on the dance floor stampeded in all directions at once, it hit him – he must have been the only one that looked to her eyes at that moment.

He considered that almost as a romantic thought, but a man with one divorce on his scroll of honor and a second one incoming did not have the right to claim that, he realized.

He might, indeed, have been the only that focused six inches higher but not everyone’s attention was with the dance act. Two pairs of eyes observed him, eyes which held a hellish heat and a blistering cold at once.

TWO DAYS LATER

The morning was still cold enough to clamp on all bits of your body which weren’t covered and the few who outfaced the street were hurried and huddled in. Enrico Lanzafame was no stranger to that but contrary to his fellow morning birds he had his head lifted high and a minor skip in his step. Two each at home against Juvencus had been an unanticipated success and Enrico could proudly claim that he had his part in that. Admittedly De Casio, the visibly nervous gaffer from Gli Attacanti, had been hustling his team around in this preparatory confrontation, something which had given our national side a chance to drill into their defensive line-up. It didn’t go pixel-perfect and with eight goals against in three friendly confrontations, Enrico secretly wondered whether the chosen approach from Di Tane was the right one. Then again, two of those had fallen during the only forty-five minutes he had not been under the crossbar, adding a layer to the confidence already held in him as the starting goalie.

After the game, he had decided to stay at his parents’ house in Astello, nearer to Il Olimpico. Despite its diminutive size, not all cities in San Ortelio were that well connected and after eleven, when the ferries closed down which connect the two peninsulas of the nation, riding all the way to Pesari along the bay became a tedious ride with insufficient lightning and hurried, sleepy lorry drivers. Besides, like most parents, his folks didn’t mind seeing him a bit more often. However, he hadn’t not actually heard them yet, having slipped into the guest bed late at night – final whistle, showers, short speech by Di Tane, interviews, a beer in the players home – and being up at this ungodly hour again.

Yes, it was a Sunday but Enrico liked a calm yet long run the morning after a game. Whilst the physical advantages were up for debate, nothing competed with the opportunity to go over the key moments of the game one last time, digest the takeaways and move on. All in all, he had been quite satisfied over his own performance but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something to learn from it. And so the slender goalie trotted towards the waterfront, eager to make his morning laps on the beach and the quay which characterized Astello. He knew, from firsthand experience, that it was a city with two faces: the prestigious seaside with the luxurious statues, the infamous marina and the tennis courts paved in the direction of the hill. But those that looked beyond the first few blocks near the water, blocks which were rarely inhabited and even rarer possessed by genuine Astellians, noticed a second town. A downtrodden place with chipped paint, garbage on the sidewalks and the occasional street dog. With old grandfathers who sat around, heavily occupied with doing nothing and watching the young kids on scooters, at least as distracted with doing nothing either.

The latter was the only part Enrico truly would call home.

But for a morning jog, the light and fresh air of the sea still managed the upper hand. Running three times back and forth to the pier would do, visiting that majestic albeit slightly outdated construction which tickled the calm bay with its outstretched finger. Enrico didn’t beat around the bush, opting for a pace which might seem exhausting to an bystander but which was just ideal for him not to put too much stress on the muscles. Deep down, he liked it when he, as a goalie, outran the majority of the outfielders during a group run.

The beach was abandoned, bar some seagulls who audibly enjoyed having their territory to themselves. Their soundtrack strengthened in the vicinity of the pier, as the food wrappers and unfinished cups of soda from yesterday evening’s visitors had not yet been disposed by the communal garbage services. Enrico kept his pace across the wooden boards, which offered such a satisfactory rhythmic sound when your trainers hit the deck. All the way to the decorative firehouse at the tip and back, it brought back memories from when this was a daily routine and not an accidental treat. A fisherman, deeply bowed over his angling rod faced the stern wind – an outliner for a San Ortelian spring – with him and instinctively, Enrico nodded as he passed him on his way to the tip of the pier. He had already crossed him a second time on his return when…

“Lanza!”

Enrico bowed his head, tried to speed up but the voice hooked him and stopped him in his tracks.

“Lanza!” the fisher repeated.

Hesitantly, Enrico turned back and faced the man. His corduroy trousers looked soaked, as if he had been standing in the water before and there was a hole in his thick sweater, near his shoulder. His face hid under a once-red baseball cap but still his thick eyebrows and red nose stuck out.

“Lanza! It’s me, Mario!”

For the casual bystander, it was hard to believe that these two were the same age, had shared school benches, afternoon snacks and kids’ adventures. A life of sporting and a healthy diet made Enrico, at 29, a rugged but handsome appearance with a clear skin. The fisherman had, on closer inspection, deep wrinkles across his forehead. An unpolished, crooked nose showed some hairs and there was a badly treated cut in his jawline, which had been poorly hidden by a haphazardly placed neck tattoo. Enrico smiled, out of a shared history which demanded a minimal politeness.

“Hi Mario – it’s been a while.”
“Ever since you decided to play for them parrots, I think,” Mario nodded, referencing Enrico’s current club, “maybe longer.”

It was definitely longer as Mario was one of those people that simply had vanished from his life the moment he had signed his first professional contract. It was not the urge to complete his training that kept Enrico from small talking.

“So, how you’ve been lately,” the other one tried, more out of an automatism than genuine interest.
“Good, good really.”
“Man, what a game yesterday. I really thought we were done and then Buglia heads in that free kick! He’s such a buffalo, man… I like that. He should always play for me,” Mario mumbled, spoken like a true Robur Astello fan – the club which had engrained rough’n’tumble football into their DNA.
“Yeah, that was a great goal.”

Seven years of distance had washed away any mutual talking points, so both stared into the sea for a second.

“So… Again Juvencus for the qualifier opening? What are the odds, huh?”
“It’s strange but, yeah… It must be destiny.”
“I like their style,” Mario continued, “they get things done. But after those two draws… What do you think? We take ‘m?”
“Hmm… It will be difficult,” Enrico considered, “their manager won’t be toying around and probably stages his best eleven for such a crucial game.”
“So you say we’ll lose?”
“Well, I didn’t say that,” Enrico attempted to stay diplomatic, “it’s just, we haven’t seen their best yet. So it will be ha-“
“Yeah, yeah, you’ve gotten a lot of them social media training thingies, I can tell. But my question is clear, pronto? Is it most likely that we lose or not?”

The tone had overnight become a bit grim and Enrico limited himself to a meagre nod. This all started to give him a uncomfortable feeling and he tried to come up with a proper segue, allowing him to turn around and run off. Yet, a hand suddenly kept his upper arm in a gridlock, the fingers painfully carving into the flesh.

“I’ve heard you’re going abroad, Lanza,” Mario spoke, leaning into him till his pupils seemed the size of the pier.
“Yeah, it’s ehm… It’s one of the options indeed.”

Should he yell? No one would hear him above the racket from the gulls and besides, what on earth would he say? Help, an old friend takes interest in my life!

“Don’t play me, Lanza – we ain’t fourteen no more. You can’t sell me shit.”

Enrico could tell himself he had wiped this circle of friends from his memory and started over, with a lovely wife and a dashing group of mates, but the little twitch from the corner of Mario’s mouth catapulted him back in time.

“Tell me, where are you going?”
“Nothing is signed yet, Mario, those things don’t go that fast and…”
“Yeah, yeah, spare me the legalese. They still need to decide how many zeroes at the end, I get it. But that means the talks are moving forward.”

Mario stared straight through him now.

“For important confidential reasons I cannot…”

There wasn’t a word of reply, just the feeling for Enrico as if his arm got squeezed off his shoulder and a wee smile. Anxious, he placed a hand on the dilapidated railing but that was a capital mistake. Immediately, Mario slammed his on it, pushing the blood out of Enrico’s index finger with his heavy ring.

“… I cannot confirm yet but I’m in talks with Falkner United and it progresses well.”

He would have confessed a murder only for the pressure on his arm to be released. Enrico considered himself physically fit but beneath the wool sweater of Mario, two iron cables must be hiding. He audibly sighed from relief. Suddenly, Mario’s smile was wide and heartily.

“That’s good to hear. Sounds like a good choice, Lanza… Good luck over there!”

Aware that he was freed from the grasp, the goalie turned around and rushed off the pier, back to his starting point. His pace was a sprint now and the wind suckled on his ears but that didn’t cover Mario’s last words.

“It’s good to catch up, Lanza! We should do this more often! I’ll send Stefano your regards!”

[box]Friendly @ Juvencus [Coppa Odiol, first leg]

Lanzafame; Curiale, Mazziero, Moscati, Lucarelli (58’ Castorani), Rota (77’ Moreschini); Confalonieri, Di Masi (77’ Buglia), Del Prete, Salvatori (46’ Favaro); Garofalo (58’ Gozzi)

74’ 1-1 Romeo Gozzi (Gianmarco Del Prete)

---

Friendly vs Tikariot [In the Olimpico]

Lanzafame; Curiale, Mazziero (62’ Castorani), Moscati, Lucarelli, Rota; Confalonieri, Di Masi (71’ Cappa), Del Prete, Salvatori (62’ Favaro); Garofalo (46’ Canova)

1’ 1-0 Carmine Garofalo (Del Prete)
21’ 2-0 Alessio Rota
22’ 2-1 Ashleigh Sweeney (Zion Grimes)
25’ 2-2 Franklin Mosnyk (Morris Nighthorse)
49’ 2-3 Zion Grimes (Rory McNair)
53’ 3-3 Gianmarco Del Prete
58’ 4-3 Orazio Canova (Alessio Di Masi)
59’ 4-4 Morris Nighthorse (Ashleigh Sweeney)
72’ 4-5 Morris Nighthorse (Heath Christie)

---

Friendly vs Juvencus [In the Olimpico, Coppa Odiol, second leg]

Lanzafame (46’ Evacuo); Curiale (82’ Gagliano), Mazziero, Moscati, Castorani, Rota; Confalonieri (82’ Quintarelli), Cappa (61’ Buglia), Del Prete, Favaro (61’ Agostinone); Garofalo (46’ Canova; 73’ Gozzi)

39’ 1-0 Carmine Garofalo (Giacomo Favaro)
87’ 2-2 Diego Buglia (Gianmarco Del Prete)[/pre]

[Kelssek]

RDemetriev_8 rehonked

Garbunkel x
Incels are working for BIG PHARMA why do you think they want to make you take a RED PILL??

The hearing was held in a conference room whose glass walls made it uncomfortably hot even though it was snowing outside.

“Thank you for your extensive submission to this disciplinary hearing, especially your analysis of Gregory v. Attorney General of Noua Cymru, the key precedent-setting case heard in the Federal Court of Appeal on whether re-honks signify agreement with the content being re-honked in the absence of disclaimers, and the enclosure of the article, “Cyberhilarity and cyberdeath: a Lacanian approach”, which was... interesting though of questionable relevance.”

Football Kelssek’s general counsel pushed aside one of the binders on the table in front of him, gingerly.

“Football Kelssek’s position is that we accept your client was simply repeating a joke by a well-known comedian, however, the words used violate rule 5.4(a) regarding social media use by persons representing Football Kelssek which may bring the organization into disrepute. I’m afraid we cannot have someone in your client’s position spreading a conspiracy theory, or engaging with a group that the Commonwealth Police consider a violent extremist threat. And as you no doubt understand, all Football Kelssek national team athletes are bound by the code of conduct which each of them signs annually upon renewal of their registration.”

“My client does not contest the facts and would simply like this matter dealt with expediently. What action do you intend to take?”

“Well, the Football Kelssek regulations specify a minimum three-match suspension from the national team. We will also be reconsidering his position as captain. We accept fully the arguments presented in your brief that no there is no malicious intent, and that your client has no association with incels or conspiracy groups.”

“The allegation however is exceedingly damaging to my client’s reputation. I emphasize section 5, paragraph 152 of our submission, where I put it to you that a reasonable person could not infer such a reading from the Honkr post in question.”

Sensitive to the implication that Ruslan might sue for libel, the Football Kelssek executives put their heads together and mumbled for a few minutes before one of them said, “We can certainly put out a statement to clarify that your client is not a misogynist, incel, conspiracy theorist, and so forth.”

“So you’ll be punishing him for being one while accepting that he is none of those things. Got it. That’s a very good compromise.”

Oblivious to the lawyer’s sarcastic tone, the executives nodded. “Excellent. I think that’s all we needed to deal with today.”

[Pasarga]

Like many of the Wanderers, Júlia Müller had taken the night off to sit and watch the World Cup Draw ceremony take place. Most of it was drab and if people were real with themselves, only teams from the top four pots traditionally had any real chance of qualifying. Sure there is the occasional Krytenia or Bonesea that qualifiers from being unranked, but the reason that they were so special of occasions was that they were exceptions and not rules. By and large, you need to be in the top one hundred ranks to have any real shot of qualifying and with the Wanderers at the rank of eighteen and in as a top seeded team for the Qualifier, Júlia knew that they were in a pretty strong position to qualify. Watching the draw was more about the spectacle of it all and seeing what sort of shenanigans unfolded as representatives tended to end up drinking away their senses and the resulting escalation of events certainly made things a bit lively. It was why anyone with wits about them usually declined an invitation to attend it in person and instead opted to do as Júlia was doing, to watch it all unfold from the comfort of home.

Meriadoc Griffiths had already assured her that she was going to not only be in the pool but once again be leading the line for the side in the upcoming qualifiers. While Elek Salai was the talk of all the media and the fans, he was still young and was needed to be getting more starts for his club team before he was really ready to take over a starting role. Júlia was not afraid of the young man taking her role from her, she knew that eventually her body would start to degrade and she would not be the same elite level striker that she was currently, it was not a matter of if it was going to happen, it was a question of when. No, what worried Júlia was that she was going to go down like so many in the last decade of Pasargan football of being just another player who played for the national team but really had no impact in it. It had already happened to both Alexander Kárpáty and Jager, as well as Ingþór Auðbjörnsson and all those who were supposed to be part of the great generation of Pasargan football. They had suffered the indignity of failing to qualify twice, of having people question their talents, and now she was afraid she to would get lumped into that grouping.

It was with mild intrigue that she was watching the draw, as it took awhile before the Wanderers were drawn, being picked out as the first seed for Group 18, the penultimate group. It seemed apt in a weird way, being the second worst first seed by virtue of the WCC rankings and then being drawn into the penultimate group of the qualifiers, something just a bit weirdly poetic to her. Now came the drab part though, as the other nine pots were drawn. However as the next pot was set to be drawn, her mobile started buzzing away on the end table, as well as the ring tone that signaled that it was her agent that was calling to speak to her. That was strange, she wondered if perhaps Rozelle was looking to give her a contract extension that would basically see her out through the remainder of her playing days. Hard to believe now that she was nervous about the prospect of moving to a big team in one of the better leagues and now she was so calm and peaceful, wondering if she would end her playing days at the club. What a difference five years had made.

"Hey Jules, how are you doing?" Well, he sounded upbeat, so that was usually good news, her agent always seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve when talking with her, so if he was positive then that meant something good was about to transpire.

"Oh you know, resting after training and got the draw on. Bit drab and all that, but kinda interested to see who we will be playing against to qualify. Maybe snag a rival amongst all of the drab or something. Not much else on tv tonight."

"I get that. Anyway, I'm calling you because I just got off the phone with your boss..."

"They are finally going to give me that extension, aren't they? About time, honestly, but I am ready for it, happy to spend the rest of my playing days in Rozelle. It's been a great move, you can tell them that."

"Umm, Jules, that is not why they called me. They accepted a bid for you."

"THEY DID EFFIN WHAT?!! I am the star striker, who the blazes did they accept a bid from? It better not be from upstart club from a lower ranked league, cause I will make a freaking stink if they did that."

"Jules, calm down. It's not some obscure club in the middle of nowhere. It's Zozi."

"....Oh."

[Hapilopper]

Team Hapilopper Headquarters, Hapilopper City
Right after the group draw
Every single player on Team Hapilopper had their eyes trained to the men’s room of the dressing room in the team’s headquarters. Nathan Ellis, the team’s most prolific defenseman and resident thug of the team, had spent the entire group draw in the bathroom, on the phone with someone. Consequently, he had missed the entire group draw and missed just who Hapilopper would go up against.

Typically, this wouldn’t be an issue. Someone could fill Nate in with who they’d be facing during the group draw and he’d prepare accordingly. If they had drawn any other nation, it wouldn’t have been an issue. He’d find out who he’d be playing, the players on the team, their typical tactics, strengths and weaknesses and just get ready like anyone else. But Team Hapilopper just so happened to draw Vdara in the group draw, and there was still a great deal of bad blood between Nate and Alexis Fotellis, a star striker of the Vdaran team, dating back to the qualifiers of World Cup 84. Consequently, Team Hapilopper was actually kind of worried of how Nate would react.

Nate had clotheslined Fotellis in the first match of qualifiers, then gave a devil horn gesture right after, a gesture he said was intended to imitate a favorite pro wrestler of his. But it was taken a different way by Fotellis and the Vdarans. Almost immediately, Nate had become public enemy number one among Vdarans, with its residents figuratively calling for his head on a silver platter. It was so bad, that the Hapilopper City Police had to send its infamous Secret Criminal Undermining Movement (SCUM) Unit to Vdara for the rematch during that cycle.

And it was in that match that Nate continued to act like, well, like what Nate typically acts. An unrepentant asshole, whose reputation of thuggish play for club (in Nephara) and country (in Hapilopper) had been well deserved. He acted like a right dickhead towards the Vdaran players, laying down a couple more cheap shots during that match, before Fotellis finally had enough, kicking Nate right in the face. The fans in the VdarArena went wild. Even the most partisan of Hapilopper’s supporters had to admit that Nate had it coming. And everyone pretty much admitted that Fotellis was pretty much in the right for kicking Nate right in the face. That is, of course, except for Nate.

There were rumors of Nate doing something to Michael Fromme of Acronius, stealing his uniform, then taking the pitch during Acronius’s match against Vdara in World Cup 86 and kicking him right in the chest. But few people that knew talked. The closest to admitting it came in an interview with the Hapiloppian Sports Journal when Nate went into excessive detail about the incident, seemingly implying that he knew everything and anything about the incident. But he still denied it was him. The incident, and Nate’s thuggish behavior, would have gotten most players turfed from a national team at this point.

But Nate was different. The rest of the team actually respected him, and they respected his win-at-all-costs attitude. He was a jackoff, sure. He was a violent thug, sure. But he was a violent piece of shit because he wanted to win ballgames. He wanted to win above all else, and he wasn’t above “taking care” of people who wanted to settle for less. And the team admired that. Hapiloppian fans admired it, too. They loved people that carried that attitude, and Nate had become one of the most popular athletes in the nation.

When Nate stepped out of the bathroom, about ten minutes after the group draw ended, he wondered why the entire team was staring at him nervously. It immediately made him suspicious, and he asked the nearest player, goalkeeper Cooter Harris, what the issue was.

“I, uh, don’t know how to explain this, Ellis,” Cooter said haltingly. “Promise me you won’t freak out, will you?”

“What, we got Equestria? Vilita? Banija?” Nate asked.

“No, no, and… no,” Cooter replied. He looked around for a bit, looked back at his teammates, then stared Nate right in the eye. “We got Vdara.”

Nate’s eyes went wide. A huge smile went over his face.

“Ellis…”

“We got WHO?!” Nate asked.

“We got Vdara,” Cooter repeated, in a tone of voice that almost wanted to say, ‘please don’t gloat, because this could be really bad.’

“Oh, FUCK YES!” Nate roared. “I’m gonna make that Alexis Fotellis motherfucker bleed again! It feels so great not having to pretend I’m someone else so I can whip his ass!”

Nate whooped and hollered all over the locker room, much to the consternation of the rest of the team. There was, very clearly, some bad blood, at least on Ellis’s side, concerning Alexis Fotellis of Vdara, and Nate wanted to set an example out of him. Don’t fuck with him. And that became even more apparent when he posted to twii.tur that night, showing the world that he was ready for a fight.

NATHAN ELLIS ✓

@NateEllis

Alexis Fotellis, you are on notice. I'm gonna make you bleed, you little bitch.


#WC87 : #HAPvVDR

[Northwest Kalactin]

The Draw, The Indies, Regional Qualifier Sim Part 2
And we are back at Sporting News Kalactin, today we will be completing the draw for the Independent National Teams of the multiverse, and will be confirming their spot in the simulation. Let’s jump right into it.


Group 1
Terre Septentrionale, New Lustania, Indusse, Emastalia, Icecliff, The Belacian States, T Republic, North Alezia, Melbergia, Caryton

Group 2
Drawkland, Poafmersia, Juvencus, Murphtannia, Hebitaka, UAC, Cirrus Azale, U-Koro, Widaya, Beepee

Group 3
Trolleborg, Abanhfleft, Squidroidia, Garifunya, State of Trinity, Al-Qurija, Waisnor, Stevid, Freechi, Bluecliff League

Group 4
Zwangzug, Geektopia, Darkmania, Megistos, PSTCT, Saint Domingues, Quemorr Isles, Cascadia, Hafamarimet , Trigel

Group 5
Kandorith, Jeruselem, Kohnhead, Sulsuland, Ranoria, Mexi Catcha, West Angola, Aeprelh, Hindu Ram Rajya, Smosh Games

Group 6
Kelssek, Squornshelous, Sharktail, Balqia, Chartistan, Mand Blustopia, North Japan, Magnecia and Galmencia, Tornado Queendom, Gothina Isles

Group 7
Mercedini, Port Ember, SRS, Rangers FC, Fluvannia, Sannyamathaland, Socialist New Britain, Regmotto, Critical Operations, Garbellia

Group 8
HUElavia, Omerica, Devonta, Baggieland, Transvolcanic, Rwekazaland, Silvedania, Logano, Frezza, The H Corporation, Pays Den Haut

Group 9
The Holy Empire, TJUN-ia, Acronius, Havynwilde, ArmedKing, Arklanda, Red Kelp, Norish Jeia Repa, Pemecutan, Lorrana

Group 10
The Sarian, Tequilo, Sajnur, ZSeparatists, Treekidistan, United Pink States, Central Shaneville, Yerapia, Acastanha, Thibaea

A First Glance
This is by far the largest field of nations we have so far, and it is a very top heavy one. Each group has 1 or 2 teams that have a decent shot at qualifying, along with a few outsiders, with the rest of the field having little to no chance. Group 3 may be the toughest one here, it includes recent qualifiers Trolleborg, consistent squad Abanhfleft, rising outsiders Squdroidia, and 2 of the top 3 BoF finishers in Bluecliff League and Freechi. This group is a one to be reckoned with. On the other hand, Group 1 seems like one that anyone can qualify out of, Terre Septentrionale has a strong team, but their rigging accusations in other tournaments have proved that they may be sending a weaker than usual squad. They don’t have many strong outsiders in Group 1, but teams like Indusse have a shot.

Make sure to join us after the first match day of the World Cup qualifiers, as we go over the first match days of this simulation!

[Tumbra]

Outskirts of Dunsford, Westmond
29 December 2020
3:15am

Station Inspector John Wilkinson looked out from the window of his patrol car. It had been a fairly active shift, even for his standards. When he first joined the Force in 2002, Dunsford was a quiet commuter town. Sleepy, cold, but yet carrying at atmosphere of warmth that only the northern reaches of the country could provide. Nearly twenty years later and the town had grown, and was beginning to come into its own. And that meant more rowdiness, more oiks, more drunkards, and in general more people whom he wished would stay in Ridgewell.

It was dark. Nothing out of order. Only fifteen more minutes and they could head back to Headquarters to get some sleep. And he needed it. Earlier he'd needed to go down to the fast food restraunts to settle a brawl, a few disputes here and there...he didn't need anything else. Just a peaceful end to his shift at 8am.

He glanced over at his partner, Sergeant Martin Brent. Three years in the force had been enough to see the light and enthusiasm in his eyes dull, his stomach grow, and his treatment of the public go from model officer to someone who just couldn't care less. But he still did his job, and to Wilkinson, it was enough. But even now, it was evident from the way he was scrolling on his phone and the vacant expression on his face that Brent just wanted to get some rest.

"Look sharp, Martin. You never know what might happen."

"Johnny, you of all people should know that just saying that increases the likelihood of something happening."

"Well, we wouldn't be out here if we didn't need to look out for that stupid car."

"Look, I don't think he's dumb enough to come by here. I think we should start heading back."

"Three in Iswilyn. One in Franport, two days ago. Forty people missing in the same way all over the country. He's in this state and he's on the move, Martin. We'll head back at 3.30."

"Fine."

In the horizon, a pair of headlights gleamed. Slowly but surely, the car moved closer to the officers' location. John squinted, trying to get a closer look. Martin dropped his phone onto his lap and unbuckled his seat-belt. No words were exchanged, but it was obvious. Something was wrong. And as officers of the law, they had to go and investigate.

A lime green Carlton Cross - a small car, popular with young people because it was cheap, hardy and fuel-efficient, came into view. It also happened to be a car that the entirety of the police forces in Tumbra had been looking out for. The car matched, bit for bit, the description of one that had been seen near the scenes of several disappearances that had been happening throughout the year.

The people who helped were never seen again. The disappearances had been dominating the headlines of the crime sections of the papers.

"Fuck, Johnny, you just had to go and jinx it."

Martin got out of the car, and waved the car over. John followed shortly after. The car stopped with a gentle purr.

"I'm going to need you to turn off the engine and remove the key from the ignition," John said. "And afterwards, we're going to need you to step out of the car."

The engine stopped. An extremely good-looking brown-haired man, no older than 30, stepped out of the car, smiling as he did so. Disarmingly so. For one moment, John wondered why they'd even stopped the car in the first place. Then he flashed his flashlight into the car, and the resulting sight made several hundred thoughts race through his mind. His heart dropped, but he gathered his thoughts enough, swallowed, and began speaking.

"Eight-two," John said into his radio.

"Eight-two, send over," the slightly distorted voice came over the set.

"Eight-two, I'm gonna need some backup. We stopped a lime green Carlton Cross on the outskirts of town - I'm sure you know my location, the tracking software in my car's on - and I need some help."

"Roger that. I'll inform all the relevant people. Eight-three, Eight-three. Eight-three, I'm gonna need you to assist your eight-two, over."

"Eight-three, we're on our way."

"What's the matter, Officer?" the man began, his soft drawl betraying no sight of fear. "Surely I haven't done anything wrong, have I?"

"Where's your identification?" Martin asked brusquely. He'd seen the scene inside the car as well.

"Right here, if you'll allow me to take it." He gestured inside his car.

"You think I'm born yesterday, huh? I'll get it from you later. What're all these doing in your car? Rope, bat, ski mask, torch, bag containing god-knows-what...you know we could arrest you right now for having that in your car? What're you trying to do with all these in your car? Break into a house?"

"Officer, I'm a baseball enthusiast."

"Fat chance. What're you doing with these?"

"I'm on my way to work."

"What d'you work as?"

"I'm a welder."

"So that necessitates you having a rope and a bat in your car?"

"Well, some of my job requires it."

"Which part? And which shop do you work at? There's nowt fifty kilometres from here. Either you're lost, pal, or you're lying, and I'm inclined to think it's the latter. Hands on the car. Spread your legs out."

The backup car arrived.

"What's going on, John?" the officers from the car asked. Sergeant Stephanie Cristwell and Sergeant Sebastian Borden stepped out of the car. Borden went to assist Martin in searching him.

"Take a look, Steph." John flashed the light into his car, and Stephanie's smile turned into a look of abject horror. "I think we've got our man. We've got to search the car."

"Him? What could he have done?" Stephanie pointed at the man currently spreadeagled on the front of his car. "He looks like he can't hurt a fly."

"Too many coincidences." He turned towards Martin. "Anything incriminating?"

"Well, apart from everything inside the car, nothing. But this is big. We've gotta do this quick. We found his identification. Name's Jacob Locke of Georgia, twenty-nine this year." He turned to Locke. "You, sir, are under arrest for possession of an offensive weapon." He sighed. "We'll be here for a while."

They were there for a while. By the time the two cars left the scene of the car, it was six o'clock, there were about ten officers at the scene, and the press were there too. Locke just smiled for the cameras, his easy-going attitude contrasting heavily with the gravity of the scene.

They'd found the car. Now it was time to find out what the hell had happened over the past year.

[Squidroidia]

2:45 PM Squidroidian Standard Time
Inkopolis City Stadium, Inkopolis
World Cup 87 Qualifying - Group 11, Squidroidia vs Wreckeria
SBN 1 broadcast

Broadcast music

And so the journey begins again! After a Round of 16 exit from the Cup of Harmony and an embarrassing Quarter-Finals loss in the IAC, the Squidroidia Inklings are back on the road to the World Cup - 190 teams fighting for just 30 spots in the competition hosted in Taeshan and Ethane, over 18 matchdays as well as playoffs. For manager Ryūzaki Mito and his team, it's a chance to get back onto their right foot - But with the Bulldogs coming to town, things might not start off so rosy. Live from Inkopolis City Stadium, matchday 1 of Squidroidia's World Cup 87 qualification campaign, against Wreckeria.

Welcome back here in the confines of the Championship Grounds, my name is Takanaki Osa. Last time I was at the press box, you knew what happened - Megistos happened. It was an ultimatum for Mito and the Squidroidian FA, having just beaten World Cup qualified Trolleborg. 3 shocking goals later, and the team were on the first flight home. Since then nothing much has changed in terms of the national team setup - But we'll get to that later. Squidroidia were placed into Group 11 in qualification, and the group doesn't seem to be weaker compared to 86.

Frestovenia look like an unranked team with some hope of finishing middle of the pack, while IAC underdogs Icecliff haven't done much since their campaign in Havynwilde. Barunia and Baptism of Fire side Jabal Akhdar are also there, as well as veteran nation Tornado Queendom. But everybody wants a piece of 3 nations in particular, being Kelssek, Darmen and of course Valanora, all of which will most likely contend for a spot at the tournament.

Then there is Wreckeria. Having not participated in the last edition, they will make their return to the World Cup today. The Bulldogs have a core from World Cup 85, so that might harm them against sort-of experienced opposition by the name of, well, Squidroidia! And this is where the road to the World Cup, Cup of Harmony, or whatever happens next begins for both the Inklings and Bulldogs - Welcome back to Inkopolis!

Before we get onto the pitch, we have to talk about the Squidroidian starting XI, provided by your friends at FunStar. Takemoto Shingen will return to the net after winning the Golden Squid for best player in the Squidroidian Super League, and will be joined by fellow Super League champion Yoichi Shigeko at leftback. Umezaki Moronobu and Muto Toki will slide into the centerback spots, with Tioguldos based Toujou Shihei on the right.

Jo Jun will slot in as defensive midfielder, the 31 year old getting competition from South Newlandia Soccer League star Kabuto Tadakata. Nearly getting Dhun Lagarr to the IFCF Challengers Cup, Yoneda Toshikuni will be paired with Inkling girl Henriette Brooks in center midfield, and Murphtannian Premier League champion Makino Hideo will be joined by Ohashi Kiichi and Champions League finalist and wonderkid Sho Itō on the wings.

Same formula, just different heads on the pitch, when we come back we'll discuss the rest of the World Cup qualifiers as well as bring you to the game. Don't go anywhere!

---

Alternate Universe W87CQR
Regional Qualifiers Preview

In an unprecedented move by the World Cup Committee (WCC) as well as the Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football (AOCAF), the Rushmori Football Confederation (RFC), the Confederation of Esportivan Football (CEF) and the Federação de Futebol Independente (FFI), World Cup 87 will be the first edition of the multiverse's biggest football competition to house regional qualifiers. Apart from Taeshan and Ethane, who as hosts will still get their automatic placement into the World Cup finals tournament, the rest of the teams who are due to participate in the qualifiers will be separated by region and will have to make their way in by way of their regional qualifiers. It is unknown how the teams will qualify for the World Cup via their groups, but the WCC have used an idea by the Banija based All Banijan Sports Magazine (ABSM) to decide the spots given to each region.

As the most dominant confederation in terms of World Cups won in total and nations who have won the World Cup, AOCAF has been allocated 14 of the 30 spots. The RFC have been given 5 spots, likely to be given to the winners of their groups (Although this hasn't been confirmed by neither the RFC or the WCC), while the CEF has been given 4 spots. The FFI, who will have 100 teams in its confederation in qualification, ranging from Smosh Games to Zwangzug, has been given 7 spots.

With further discussion about a linear championship for football after Jeremy Jaffacake's findings for the Unofficial World Championship, both belts, occupied by returning nation Al-Qurija and AOCAF Cup champion Baker Park are up for contention in these regional qualifiers. Baker Park has been placed in AOCAF Group 5 with the likes of Vilita, Chromatika, Independent Athletes from Quebec, Hapilopper and the legendary Cosumar, and will continue their defense of the belt against Jabal Akhdar. Al-Qurija, holders of the Linear Belt that hasn't gone out of circulation since the first ever World Cup won by Crosshill, has been placed in FFI Group 3, with the likes of Trolleborg, Abanhfleft and Squidroidia, and will start their defense against State of Trinity, 7 World Cups since they won the unofficial title.

With this system there are some challenges, mainly regarding the Unofficial World Championship. With both Baker Park and Al-Qurija in different confederations, it is increasingly unlikely that unification may happen in qualification, but will most likely happen at the finals tournament. With the previous "unrestricted" qualification system, it was more possible for unification matches to happen in qualifiers, but regionals will force this to only happen if 2 teams from 1 confederation are drawn against each other - And even then unification may not happen at all. While critics see this as a cash grab by the confederations, people who agree with this system say that this can make sure that an all-AOCAF World Cup can't happen, and will limit confederations to only sending the best of the best to the main tournament.

Now, and only now, can the games - Fair to all teams or otherwise - begin.

---

OOC: This RP series will be using both the official World Cup results and the regional results provided by Northwest Kalactin and Quemorr/Sylestone. Since I don't want Jeremy Jaffacake to be annoyed at all of us, the regional results Al-Qurija and the rest of Group 3 of FFI (Indies) qualifying will go through will count towards an uUWC, same for Baker Park and their AOCAF (AO) qualifying group.

[Garbelia]

Interview with Ottery McOtterface, team goalkeeper
Interviewed by Garvida Rovers legend, Lutra Scratchington

"Hi Ottery, thanks for agreeing to the interview."

"No problem Lutra, you have to love a press feature!"

"So, first international tournament Ottery, how are you feeling about it all?"

" Nervous, definitely, but happy, I am looking forward to showing the world what Garbelia can do. "

"So you think we'll cause a few upsets?"

" Yes, I think that there has to be a shock sometimes, and now is the best time to break into the world stage. "

"So let's get straight into it, shall we? Top 5 Garbelery goalkeepers of all time?"

" Alright then.
Number 5:
I think for number five, I'll go with Mer L'utra. She had incredible speed and agility, always able to rush out or get back up, but her outward kicking was never that good. She always seemed similar to the style I've adopted.

Number 4:
Vladimir Laikovski would be my number 4. He was from Garbelian Russia, and he was remarkable charismatic, a great captain, and always there to marshall his defence. His actual keeping wasn't legendary, but he'll be remembered for his leadership.

Number 3:
I'll go for... Catto Fisheart. Incredible keeper, legendary clearance. He holds the record for the most goals by a keeper ever in Garbelia, and is 20th in Garbelery League all-time scoring charts. Again, he was good at one-on-ones, but always lacked in saving long shots and diving.

Number 2:
Otta Trootzon is my number 2. She could save everything, clear everything, but never handled well, ad lacking in communication skills.

Top Goalkeeper of all time:
Xisco Vrowza was THE GREATEST GARBELERY KEEPER EVER. Most clean sheets, most saves, consistently captain of the team, scored 10 goals, assisted 40, saved 80%. Unbeatable. I was devastated to hear of his demise last year, true legend, trailblazer as first Garbelian Russian player to play for Garbelia, and inspiration for young keepers like myself. Football has made a true loss. "

"Excellent list there Ottery. Let's hope you produce a set of performances worthy of being named on future player's lists, and we'll find out in our first match, against Græntfjall on the 11th, watching from the press boxes. Tune in to PGBS Sport for live coverage, and until then, goodbye!."

View from Venjolath Road will be broadcast on both radio and television daily until the end of the WC Qualifiers, and will be available as a podcast afterwards. There will be plenty of previews tomorrow, ahead of arguably the biggest moment in Garbelery history.

[Ko-oren]

While the political arena will probably keep fans busy, any national team game is sure to attract millions of Ko-orenites to their TVs. Stadiums are expected to sell out, but not everyone might show up if there are any problems in that specific city on game day - so far, several small protests and riots have been spotted. Even with these events going on, Ko-oren is still extremely safe to visit.

The biggest headline coming out of the draw is the Northwestern Atlantian Oceanian derby to finally be played! Ko-oren versus Quebec has been on everyone's wishlist but we never expected it to happen. Some teams we know from earlier cycles are the Blouman Empire, Legalese, and the Sarian, with the latter team looking to challenge us as the team coming from pot 2. That said, all the above teams are dangerous foes. Sylestone are the other team that can make things very difficult, but they've mostly stayed in our cricketverse so far.

One thing that statheads immediately zoomed in on is how most of our opponents come from the top of their pots. Each pot contains 19 teams - one per group - but except for us and the Sarian, we've drawn teams from the top quarter of each pot. Quebec is the top nation in pot 3. The Blouman Empire is third in theirs. Sylestone is sixth in theirs, which seems low - but we could have drawn 13 'easier' teams instead! Legalese is second in theirs, Crystalline Caverns are fourth, and by that point you've reached the high 200s and KPB differences get too small to play a huge part.

The schedule is not very forgiving. We play all top 100 teams in a single stretch, with the middle part of the campaign especially problematic: the Sarian, Quebec, then the Blouman Empire. Don't forget that both the Sarian and Quebec have qualified for the most recent World Cup - and together with us, that means that one or two out of three aren't going to continue their qualification streak. We also close out the campaign with more home than away games, so that works in our favour at the very least.

@ Blouman Empire 68th Location TBD

v PSTCT 361st Rikalathen Arena 39000 Maethoru
@ Simulland UR Location TBD

v Sylestone 97th Orange Bowl 54000 Schemerdrecht
@ North Alezia 336th Location TBD

v Legalese 118th Suzumebachi Stadium 25000 Katashi
@ Crystalline Caverns 186th Location TBD

@ The Sarian 42nd De Stadionnational 50046
v Quebec 45th Stade sur la Baie 70000 Aminey

v Blouman Empire 68th Willowbowl 55000 Willowbourne
@ PSTCT 361st Location TBD

v Simulland UR Estádio Marítimo 28000 Santa Teresa
@ Sylestone 97th Location TBD

v North Alezia 336th Het Planetarium 46000 Sterrenwolde
@ Legalese 118th Location TBD

v Crystalline Caverns 186th Stade Amandine 30000 Étouille
v The Sarian 42nd Surbourneshire Square 65000 Greencaster

@ Quebec 45th Location TBD

In its 29th overall qualification attempt, the Dragonflies will try to qualify for their 15th total World Cup, and their 5th in a row (which would be a record). Beyond that, the team is looking for its 9th survival of the group stage... and its first knockout win. Landing the Round of 16 is likely enough to get Ko-oren into the Hall of Fame after Banija leapfrogged us with a gold medal last cycle.

[Graintfjall]

Posted on Statspunk, a soccermetric-themed sports blog that sharply divides opinion when it comes to questions of xG weightings, positional rankings, and capitalization.

Top Twenty Most Popular Footballers In Græntfjall

This isn’t a global ranking. This is specifically based on Græntfjaller fan following, using a metric that combines shirt sales, social media follows and mentions, and aggregated fan polls. That means that there’s obviously a heavy Græntfjaller bias, with many players who wouldn’t feature in any other country’s similar statistic included; to a lesser extent, it reflects a Rushmori bias, with the big name superstars of Atlantian Oceania, for example, conspicuously absent. It is gloriously useless in terms of assessing actual player value, but let’s just have fun with it.

1. Jason Þórhallursson ( Busembe Timberwolves)

Græntfjall’s leading international goal scorer by a considerable margin, Þórhallursson’s move overseas was something of a gamble given the hitherto poor performances of almost all Græntfjaller exports (coverage of Tequilo’s second division youth, in which Tinni Grímólfursson so prospered, being regrettably minimal). He was also giving up the safety of a starring role at Gunzlach to compete alongside world-beating Banijans and world-burning Farves in the Shango-Fogoa Premier League, a newly created entity that most Græntfjallers cannot pronounce much less find on their TV listings. Nonetheless, he excelled on the Timberwolves side and even made the league’s end-of-season Best XI. His popularity back home may even have spiked: while a few Gunzlach fans begrudged him leaving, they were comfortably outnumbered by Steinaux fans who could at last safely cheer him on.

2. Amanda Guttisdóttir ( Holdenberg City)

Guttisdóttir once topped this list, and though a fall to number #2 is hardly devastating, it does reflect her stock dipping just as much as it does Þórhallursson’s rising. There was great excitement when she became the first Græntfjaller to play in the Euraleague, but the Old Boys Club struggled and were sent down after her first season. In a show of loyalty (officially) or because she just wasn’t even asked (unofficially) she remained with them for a season slugging it out for promotion back from the Euran second tier. She was unsuccessful. A transfer request came, and hopefully a fresh start at mid-table Holdenberg City will revive her fortunes. For the international side, her performances have been inconsistent and she struggled more obviously than anyone else to find her role in Sigtryggur Brynjólfursson’s system. The Snow Wolves also developed a habit of performing better in tournaments in which she wasn’t part of the squad, leading to further doubts over her importance. There’s hope than in Kang Guilin’s new order she will have more freedom to pursue a role that fits her, and she remains the most popular female player in the country. But the whispers – what have you done for us lately? – are starting to gather.

3. Petter Erlingsson ( Steinaux)

While a few other nations might have heard of Þórhallursson or Guttisdóttir, number 3 on the list is someone probably totally unknown outside Græntfjall – and if they have, it’s more probably because of his regular appearances as a pundit on The Fußball Show with Jessika Jünkindietrünk than for his performances on the field. Which doesn’t impact at all on his popularity in the Queendom itself. Erlingsson, captain of title-winning Steinaux, winner of the MVP and Golden Boot in the most recent GPL season, is regarded as something of a golden boy with a wholesome image that belies a fierce talent for scoring goals. His exemplary disciplinary record, never having been sent off in competitive football and engaging in civic participation and charity work off the pitch, in company with his glamorous wife, a regular star of Footballer’s Wives: Græntfjall, have only added to his popularity and acclaim. So long as he declines national team selection (to spend more time with his family) he is likely to remain a big fat question mark in the international consciousness, however.

4. Hjörleifur Reynarsson ( Steinaux)

About 30% of Reynarsson’s support is ironic. In his regular appearances on Footballer’s Wives: Græntfjall he came known for his “Hjörleifurisms” such as “I want to put food on my family”, “wings taking dream”, and “is our children learning???”. He can at least take comfort that (a) no one would dare mock someone built like a literal brick shithouse to their face about such slips of the brain and (b) the other 70% is decidedly unironic, as he’s steadily emerged as the national team’s defensive lynchpin. Tall and strong yet offering much more athleticism and skill than Ralf Álfarsson or Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson could muster, an exceptional season with Steinaux endeared him to all (except Gunzlach fans). He’s generally considered the national captain-in-waiting, should the position become a permanent tradition. As he himself famously said: “don’t misunderestimate me”. We won’t, Hjörleifur, we won’t.

5. Hrærekur Jvarsson ( Steinaux)

You may be detecting a certain pattern. But the truth is that while Gunzlach have sold on nearly all of their NT-level homegrown players, Steinaux have been able to both bring in fancy foreign acquisitions and retain, for the most part, the services of Græntfjaller players. So their dominance at the top of this list is unsurprising. Hrærekur Jvarsson isn’t as glamorous as Petter Erlingsson or as prone to social media gaffes as Hjörleifur Reynarsson (his Mytanar wife, Enesa Handanovic, more than makes up for his reticence on that front). He’s a player who’s spent his whole international career being written off as too slow and unskilled, a stopgap at best, and yet risen to Baptism of Fire glory, more goals than any other midfielder, and the first permanent captain’s armband. For Steinaux he enjoyed a solid season, working well in tandem with Li Jing, and if his discipline slipped at times, it just made the Sausages faithful revel in his physicality all the more. Again, this is a player whom 99% of the global audience will never even have heard of (and if they have heard his name spoken, they might mistake it for someone clearing their throat) but walk down a street in Háttmark and you won’t go a block without seeing a kid in a Jvarsson shirt.

6. Morris Nighthorse ( Baraldhur AFC)

The most popular foreign footballer in Græntfjall isn’t Thorsten Kramer or Laborious Hawk, Rowena Strongbow or Brian Bond. He doesn’t hail from Starblaydia or Vilita, he doesn’t play in the Zenith or the Euraleague, he’s not on the books of Raynor City or 1830 Cathair. Instead, he comes from Tikariot, Græntfjall’s immediate southern neighbor, where he recently won MVP in the Tikariot Premier League. Most Græntfjaller fans support Parakleion Firebirds (because of their historic success as much as Hlégestur Snæþórsson’s presence on the roster), Fort Viljan Northern FC (practically a semi-Græntfjaller team at this stage) or the Oriannor Mountaineers, but Baraldhur’s winger has been a Græntfjaller favorite ever since Baptism of Fire 73, where he came away man of the match from the epic quarterfinal face-off. With the TPL the most followed foreign league among Græntfjallers, his popularity is understandable.

7. Momoko Wakabayashi ( Gunzlach)

Another left-field selection, Wakabayashi isn’t just someone who’ll be unfamiliar to most foreign audiences. She’s someone who is almost certainly far more popular in Græntfjall than she is in her own country. The Hinodjin striker was part of the first wave of foreign players to join the GPL two seasons ago, on a free transfer from FLOX’s Myrtle Wanderers. Since then she’s been voted Fan Favorite Foreign Player for two straight seasons along with a Silver Boot and various other awards including Fantasy Player of the Year. It’s likely she’s a complete unknown back home, but her fans in Gunzlach revel in her every touch of the ball, most especially the dazzling solo goal that single-handedly killed hated rivals’ Steinaux’s title hopes the season before last.

8. Faragó rue Cazade ( Brinemouth)

Way down at #8 is the first justifiable choice, by international standards. Of course rue Cazade is popular in Græntfjall, just as he probably is everywhere else: he’s one of the best players in the world. Græntfjaller fans made intimate acquaintance with him when the teams played in the qualifying group for World Cup 86 and were duly impressed. The Nepharan Premiership is a popular league despite the routinely terrible performances put in by the scant few Græntfjallers capable of making the grade there, and Græntfjallers have further enjoyed watching rue Cazade’s exploits with Brinemouth. The only reason for any wrinkle is that Farves have not got on brilliantly in the GPL, a certain temperamental incompatibility seeming to manifest between the offensively-minded, outside-the-box-thinking, setting-fire-to-everything mavericks and the staid, defensive, and snow-covered conservatives.

9. Bríana Noahsdóttir ( Association Ariddienne)

She might have left the GPL for the pinko hellscape of Kelssek, but Noahsdóttir’s stock has been boosted by being the only Græntfjaller to have played well at the Copa Rushmori hosted on home shores. She missed out on the subsequent Eagle’s Cup squad to concentrate on domestic duties with the Association Ariddienne, and will have to fight to justify her place ahead of the impressive Lana Mensdóttir. But the land of the BFGs is a pretty good place for someone capable of delivering accurate crosses, free-kicks and corners to ply their trade, and Noahsdóttir has delivered on that relatively consistently through her career. She’s one of the original veterans of the Snow Wolves’ first faltering steps in international football (though she, along with all the female players, missed the BoF) and she’s talked about wanting a family so this could be her last World Cup.

10. Wen Xiaohui ( CASK Thorsborg)

Some would argue Wen isn’t even the most popular Yuezhuese central midfielder in Græntfjall. Li Jing and Tao Beiliang have been warmly embraced as key components of their GPL sides, while hopeful GPL sides bidding for Wen’s attentions were rebuffed. Yet she remains one of the most fanatically popular international footballers in the Queendom. It helps that the Savojar league is widely watched and CASK Thorborg a common second team to support for Græntfjallers (whose connection to Þórr is no less keenly felt for being entirely mythological). She played well against the Snow Wolves in World Cup 86, too. The real reason for her insane popularity, though, may well be a case of politics intruding on sport, where she’s seen as a heroine to the anti-Yincheng Yuezhuese emigrant community in Háttmark. She’s a pretty good player, too!

11. Álfar Ásvaldursson ( Marlesee 97)

Ásvaldursson’s excellent domestic season with Mühlrich led to a return to the national team before securing one of the biggest transfer deals in Græntfjall’s admittedly rather sparse history to play in the Republikaliga. His meteoric rise is an inspirational to young Græntfjaller boys realizing that if they just bulk up and kick the shit out of anyone who comes near them it won’t matter if they’re not actually very good at football. Coming into his footballing prime (i.e. the age when the largest possible number of shins will be available for him to kick the shit out of) Ásvaldursson has a chance to establish himself in the national team as a better fit for Zang Guillin’s system than Sigtryggur Brynjólfursson’s, and a good – or even passable, so desperate are Græntfjallers for any of their non-Þórhallursson players to not completely suck – season overseas would cement his place in the top ten popularity stakes.

12. Alicia Gainsbourg ( Molding)

Gainsbourg brought some star quality (by Græntfjaller standards) to a fairly drab Molding team chiefly known for their defense. Her season started and ended badly but in between she was challenging for the Golden Boot. Chromatiks, chiefly associated with Molding, have become quite popular in Græntfjall – the land of colors bringing a little light to the land of stark white, perhaps – but while most were second-tier free agents with vague links to Xander Augustine, Gainsbourg was seen as more of a quality acquisition for a league of Græntfjall’s modest standing. Molding, recently purchased by multinational totally-not-a-tax-haven Grupo Taxhavn, have big plans, which should mean even more of a starring role for Gainsbourg. Except on Footballer’s Wives, where her perfectly healthy and stable relationship failed to bring the requisite drama quotient and she was quietly sidelined in favor of more interesting characters.

13. Eiríka Jonathansdóttir ( Maigburg)

Literally who? Yeah, this is going to be yet another one totally unknown to foreign audiences as Jonathansdóttir has never played international football (or more charitably, is yet to) and didn’t even feature in the first internationally broadcast GPL season, as she was out with injury. Her return to Maigburg started less than ideally with a goal drought and a benching, but her form exploded in the second half of the season as she and Jake Pole formed a great partnership ahead of Natasja Hólmarsdóttir (who can be expected to break into this list, and the NT, soon). For a considerable while she looked set to take the Golden Boot, and doubtless has aspirations to do so next season. Her chances of international football are slimmer, though, given her injury history and inability to cover for Justiina Dannysdóttir (who has endured a slide to obscurity, toiling in the Chromatik second division). The Catbear Crowd will hope she doesn’t, precisely so she can still fit and available to score plenty of goals for them.

14. Tyler Prentice ( Altendalur)

Kelssek doubtless produces 20 better players every season, but there haven’t been many better than Prentice in the GPL. One of the few ‘year 1’ foreign imports still in the league, he’s been invaluable both in the domestic competitions and in IFCF play for Altendalur, and was at the core of the Chessmen’s Round of 16 run in the last Cha’llenger’s’ C’’’up*. He may soon age out of the league and return to invisibility in his home country, but for as long as he’s still pulling on the chequered shirt he’ll be a hero to the Chessmen.

15. Jade Miansdóttir (unattached)

Miansdóttir’s future status is uncertain. She might go back to Gunzlach for another season, she might accept a transfer overseas, with rumors of a move to the Vilitan League floating. She might win her way into the national team, she might remain on the fringes of selection. Right now, she’s one of the most popular players in the country, but her future prospects will obviously affect whether she soars into the limelight or drifts into obscurity.

16. Kurtis Bastable ( Ulsa)

You needn’t point out that any footballing list in which the sole Nepharan entry is #16 is probably pretty stupid. But with only has-been or never-was-in-the-first-place Nepharans making the trek over to the GPL, and a certain antagonistic sentiment towards the Cormorants after their humiliating 7 – 2 drubbing of the hapless Snow Wolves to knock them out of their own Copa Rushmori, it’s perhaps unsurprising that Nepharan players don’t feature as heavily in the imaginations of Græntfjallers as they might elsewhere (though, with the Nepharan Zenith becoming one of the most popular foreign leagues in terms of TV audience, that may be set to change). Still, Bastable’s talent was on show when he helped the Cormorants defend their CR title on Græntfjaller soil, and though Rowena Moxham was considerably more popular, she’s no longer around to fete (and Basilisk, of the cooler name, didn’t feature as much in the CR). So Bastable it is – though even though the most enthusiastic Græntfjaller fans will be wishing to avoid too much direct exposure to him in the form of any further thrashings.

17. Hanne Heikkisdóttir ( Molding)

Heikkisdóttir’s spectacular free-kick count was down this season, and her goal count down in general, but she still played well enough for a first run out in national team colors. Look out Hlégestur Snæþórsson! (He doesn’t feature on this list, his popularity having tanked behind the Firebirds’ dreadful season.) Heikkisdóttir is very much a representative of the new century, chiefly famous for her QTube highlights reels rather than putting in 90 minutes of solid graft, but for Græntfjallers yearning for a bit more color in the drab national team, that’s enough. It helps that Molding seem to be heavily promoting her image as the club rebrands and pursues an aggressive strategy, trying to become more than just a third Háttmark side.

18. Simon McCabe ( Folte)

After a difficult off-season for Folte which has seen Ralf Álfarsson retire, Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir leave, and Emeli Vilbertsdóttir turn Judas by joining Altendalur, Simon McCabe becomes ever more importance in the club’s plans to move from mid-table also-rans to top 4 IFCF contenders. He may not make any lists of glamorous international strikers, but the South Newlandian has done pretty much as asked, turned up, scored a hatful of goals, and allowed the defensively-minded team to worry about the rest.

19. Ixtub Tün ( Pitxi-Pitxi 77)

We’re not done with the odd, off-the-wall, just plain weird selections. Would Ixtub Tün even make the top 20 most popular players in Tequilo? Uncertain. Does he even remember playing against Græntfjall in their sole meeting, at the Cup of Harmony? Doubtful. But the big defensive midfielder has reached mythopoetic status here regardless, with message boards full of comments like “does Ixtub Tün have Græntfjaller ancestry???”. Virtually proclaimed an honorary BFG, the fact that a player chiefly known for being (a) large and (b) that’s it, can achieve such heights of popularity reflects just how fundamentally warped Græntfjaller footballing paradigms are.

20. Sara Kristoffersdóttir ( Lokomotive Jarnstad)

There’s not much to say about Kristoffersdóttir that she hasn’t said herself (including in her extensive catalogue of profanity-laced gangsta rap GrikGroks**). So let’s leave it at: she might have played well at the DBC only to mess up in the final, she might have become virtual persona non grata in the GPL, she might still be a long way from the thoughts of nationals selectors. 5’3” and with every trick in the book, she might be the most un-Græntfjall Græntfjaller ever. But for whatever reason, people cannot stop talking about her, and even a move to Savojarna doesn’t seem to have changed that.

* Not sure where the apostrophe goes.
** Video microblogging social media platform popular in Græntfjall.

[TJUN-ia]

By Peter Davis

Once again, we find ourselves looking towards another World Cup Qualifying. But with an appearance in the playoffs last time around and an improvement to Pot 3 overall, some are questioning whether or not this is the year TJUN-ia finally reaches the promised land. We may not contend for any UWC until we reach that point but with the group we've got, who knows what will happen this time around.

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Pot 1: Cassadaigua (4)
We begin, as always, with the top seeds and it seemed fitting that we finally get to play against this team here in this sport. Everyone should be quite familiar with Cassadaigua at this point as we both have interest in NSSCRA, we've played 5 times in the last 3 World Bowls and it was Cassie that hosted TJUN-ia's final 4 run in WBC50. As the 4th best team in the entire WCC, we know this will be tough one no matter what and getting anything from this team (even just a draw) should be considered an achievement.

Pot 2: Flavovespia (41)
Now then, this is an interesting one. Flavovespia, the yellow and black former known as Greater Waldster/Watford, had to play in a chaotic Nations League-style AOCAF and fell in the Round of 24 to our old rivals in Mriin. A team that can do...pretty much anything, they are classed as more defensive than TJUN-ia but don't take that as anything. This is the team we must aim to beat if we are to contend for a WC spot once again, so matches against this team will be big ones for sure.

Pot 4: Busoga Islands (79)
Now getting into the teams behind us, we have the Busoga Islands - good friends of defending champions Banija. Busoga has always been, as far as I can tell, a 'nearly team' - a team that strives to make the Finals, but always comes up short. The most recent AOCAF was sure good for this team as the co-hosts upset Audioslavia on route to a Quarterfinal defeat to Qasden. Another team we need to take keep an eye on in the quest for Top 2, it will be very interesting to see where both they and we end up at the end of this campaign.

Pot 5: Acronius (100)
The Union of Acronian Kingdoms, better known as Acronius, are a bit of an unknown for a team this high up the rankings. With no recent participation in a regional tournament to speak of, the only thing we know for sure about this team is that home fans consider them to be a laughing stock - 19 consecutive World Cup with no Qualification to speak of. It may look likely that it will extend to 20, but you can never be sure in this tournament.

Pot 6: Havynwilde (126)
Now then, here's another familiar face. Hosts of the most recent IAC, Havynwilde failed to even get out of their own group with only 1 win to show for their efforts. More concerned with the future of the MA than of the IAC, the Havyish team are well known for throwing everything at attack and nothing in defence. Expect goals, then, when we play them this time around.

Pot 7: Muralos (259)
Our first team from the most recent edition of the Baptism of Fire (and Ice), Muralos reached the Quarterfinals of that competition before falling to a pretty good Saint-Domingues team in Extra Time. Training at a university since that run, they are known for being quite similar to us in terms of strategy. Now, am I saying Muralos is a mini TJUN-ia? No, but if we know how we play, then we also know how they might play - which may be important in not tripping up to this team.

Pot 8: Hispinas (315)
Another BoF team, Hispinas may be familiar if you follow other sports but this team has an interesting story to tell. The actually debuted at the most recent Copa Rushmori and made it all the way to the Quarters before falling to Cassie, who we also have in this group. They then made their WCC debut at the BoF, where the fell in the Round of 32 to Cirrus Azale. Similar to Muralos in terms of playstyle, it will be interesting to see how good this team will be in their first WC.

Pot 9: Central Shaneville (UR)
Our first unranked team, but with some history to their name, you have heard of Central Shaneville before this WC. They have tried to qualify before long ago but apparently, that didn't go well as they now return to the WCC as an unranked team. They did play at IAC11 but missed out on the knockouts by tiebreaker as one of the unlucky 3rd-placed teams. Jay Bucks is apparently a controversial figure over there, so we'll see how things go when we travel to the Red Bull Arena on MD4.

Pot 10: Nacaltora (UR)
Last, but not least, we have Nacaltora. Unlike most teams down in the Unranked Pot, we actually know a little bit about this team. They took part in the CR and actually managed to make the knockouts before falling to Yue Zhou in an 8-goal thriller. If that team is turning up to this WC, then this team will be more attacking than ours for definite. For the first time since BoF67 and that WC cycle, this team will play in the WCC and maybe this Pot 10 side will be the one to watch throughout the tournament.

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SCHEDULE (Group 3) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: vs Busoga Islands (79) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD2: @Hispinas (315)
MD3: vs Nacaltora (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
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MD4: @Central Shaneville (UR) - Red Bull Arena, Shaneville City
MD5: vs Cassadaigua (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD6: @Flavovespia (41) - Highland Road, Hadford Hill
MD7: vs Muralos (259) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
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MD8: @Havynwilde (126)
MD9: vs Acronius (100) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
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MD10: @Busoga Islands (79) - The Dukuma Oval in Dukuma, North Island
MD11: vs Hispinas (315) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
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MD12: @Nacaltora (UR)
MD13: vs Central Shaneville (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
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MD14: @Cassadaigua (4) - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights
MD15: vs Flavovespia (41) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
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MD16: @Muralos (259) - Komcatt Arena, Urbego (?)
MD17: vs Havynwilde (126) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD18: @Acronius (100)

[Gouvanarch]

OOC Disclaimer: The Monsieurs speak in a mix of Breton and an archaic form of French, for ease of reading and interpretation all dialogue will be provided in English at no extra charge.

The picture fades in to the Palais du Sports in Gouvanarch's capital Douanarc'h, where the trio infernale of Uenomail de Mesnildo, Yezekaël de Bethencourt and Sulhoiarn de Montchrestien is standing just inside of large double glass doors looking like they will lead out onto a balcony. The first and last have their heads together, talking lowly, while Monsieur de Bethencourt is standing there in his usual blank stare, looking like his operating system has gone on "idle". After a few moments, Monsieur de Montchrestien taps Monsieur de Bethencourt on the shoulder, who immediately and without warning begins to speak.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: Welcome my fellow Gouvanarchais--

Sulhoiarn de Montchrestien: No, no, not yet! We have not even gone out yet.

He shakes his head before nodding to a liveried attendant he was expecting to be right next to the doors, but is obviously not there. The look on his face immediately darkens and spying said attendant next to a completely different set of doors he angrily waves him closer, pointing at the doors in front of him. The servant looks at him with some bewilderment, but scurries over and opens the doors, allowing the three elderly gentlemen to float by in their long, flowy robes. Immediately as he hits the stone balustrade and is held back by M. de Montchrestien to avoid him from falling over it, M. de Bethencourt is activated.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: Welcome my fellow Gouvanarchais, the time has come!

He pauses for applause, but nothing is forthcoming, clearly throwing him off his plan as most of the confidence has evaporated from his voice.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: W-we stand at the, the beginning of a most wonderful, uh, journey--

A voice from behind the camera alerts M. de Montchrestien with an urgent whisper.

Unknown female voice: Monsieur, MONSIEUR! This is the wrong door!

Monsieur de Montchrestien looked like he was ready to launch a tirade at the insolence of the staff member, but then steps forward to the balustrade and looking over. He closes his eyes and slowly shakes his head, then nods towards the unknown voice. He taps Monsieur de Bethencourt's shoulder, who immediately stops like one of the clap-on, clap-off lamps.

Sulhoiarn de Montchrestien: Follow me - NOW!

He storms back inside, crossing the room at a brisk pace, leaving the other two struggling to keep up with even Monsieur de Mesnildo not even having enough time to realize there was an actual camera right next to him. Without waiting for any servants or his two colleagues, M. de Montchrestien opens the double doors, thrown off balance a little by only one of the two actually opening, immediately receiving cheers from a seemingly large crowd. M. de Bethencourt once again marches straight up to the stone balustrade, this time really nearly keeling over, only prevented from plummeting to a sure death by both of the other Monsieurs grabbing onto his long, flowing robes. Unfazed by his near death experience, the Monsieur is right off to the races.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: Welcome my fellow Gouvanarchais, the time has come!

This time the applause is forthcoming.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: We stand at the beginning of a most wonderful journey of our qualification for the World Cup 87!

Still cheers, even though there seems to be some bewilderment over the choice of words that makes it sound as if the qualification for the World Cup proper is already guaranteed.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: Nine enemies of the principality shall be overcome by our proud warriors on our way to Taeshan! Or Ethane! On our way to wherever we will go! We will come together and no matter if here on our holy grounds or enemy soil--

The monsieur is clearly getting more and more agitated as he speaks himself into some sort of frenzy.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: They will be beaten by our prowess and strength. We will grind them into the dust they came from--

Suddenly wide-eyed Monsieur de Montchrestier leaps forward, yanking his colleague away from the balustrade, clamping his hand over the still moving mouth, trying to quiet him down as he is continuing to talk and gesticulate, apparently unawares of him no longer addressing the crowds. Two liveried servants come to Monsieur de Bethencourt's sides, leading him back inside the Palais. In the meantime Monsieur de Mesnildo has taken up the spot in front of the crowd, bathing in their applause.

Uenomail de Mesnildo: Thank you, thank you. Like my colleague has so eloquently pointed out, we will have nine challengers for our rightful spot in the World Cup and every intention to thwart both of each of their attempts to keep us from glory, both here in Gouvanarch and also abroad!

More cheers.

Uenomail de Mesnildo: We will show them that our eliminations from the Wonder Cup and the Baptism of Fire were mere aberrations and that our glorious team has every--

At this moment suddenly Monsieur de Bethencourt can be seen storming out of the Palais again.

Yezekaël de Bethencourt: --into the dust they came from, torn limb from--

Monsieur de Montchrestien wheels around with a look of shock on his face, grabbing his colleague by the collar and pulling him back so hard that M. de Bethencourt is propelled backwards into the room and onto a chair that topples over with him, effectively silencing him. In the meantime a drone has appeared in front of the balcony with a camera attached. The very moment Monsieur de Mesnildo sees the drone hovering right in front of him he immediately freezes up mid word, tipping sideways like a statue, right onto Monsieur de Montchrestier, who is just turning back towards him again, bringing both hard to the ground. Completely buried under Monsieur de Mesnildo, Monsieur de Montchrestien makes kind of chopping gesture with his arm as we can hear his voice muffled by the thick robes of his colleague.

Sulhoiarn de Montchrestien: Abort! Abort!

Immediately the picture fades to black.

[Sylestone]

Welcome to SSC for the coverage of the 87th World Cup Qualifiers. We have been drawn into Group 15, which is much unlike the group of death we had last time. Whether we can finally turn up for a few games remains to be seen and a position in the top four looks very much a possibility. Especially if we can win a few games at home in the tropical heat of Sylestone in front of a stunning home crowd. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Group Overview:

Simulland:
They may be Pot 10, but they can certainly not be underestimated. They look like they might be competitive with the sides in the mid-packs and might even beat a few of us. Must watch out for them. However, we are still confident we can take them down and give us a couple of wins to our campaign.

Prediction: Two wins
Expected Finish: 9th

PSTCT:
They might have completely messed up their Baptism of Fire campaign, but we cannot underestimate a side full of ponies. That’s almost as weird as us! So we’ll expect something good from them, although we really can’t say we expect them to beat us.

Prediction: One win, one draw
Expected Finish: 8th

North Alezia:
Okay, so they made the knockout stages in the Baptism of Fire. But we really don’t think too much of them and they probably went a little further than expected. We think they will come last, and we will get two wins against them.

Prediction: Two wins
Expected Finish: 10th

Crystalline Caverns:
They might only be Pot 7, but we have a sneaking suspicion that they might be a whole lot better than that. They will probably put up a fight against us, but whether we will be able to come out on top really is an unknown.

Prediction: One win, one loss
Expected Finish: 6th

Legalese:
Another wild card side, Legalese could well and truly finish higher than us on the table, but could also bomb out really easily. Us at SSC are going to be confident and say that we’re going to come out on top of these guys.

Prediction: One win, one draw
Expected Finish: 7th

Sylestone:
Us! We’re going to back our ability and hopefully finish well inside the top five. While we could finish as low as 7th, we could also manage to scrape into third if we’re really lucky. But the most likely position at the moment seems to be fourth.

Expected Finish: 4th

Blouman Empire:
Yet another wild card in Group 15. They could push the qualification spots, or they could flunk it badly. No one really knows, but we’re confident in our ability to beat them. Well, maybe at least once.

Prediction: One win, one loss

Independent Athletes from Quebec:
Qualifiers from last cycle, Quebec look like a strong side who could well and truly do the same thing again. They are one of the highest-ranked sides we have ever beaten, but our luck is predicted to run out by then. They will probably come second.

Prediction: One draw, one loss
Expected Finish: 2nd

The Sarian:
They might have also qualified last cycle, but Group 15’s pot two side cannot be expected to qualify again with Quebec, Blouman and us on their heels. They may still, but we seriously doubt it. We’re going to go bold and say we’re getting a home win against these guys.

Prediction: One win, one loss
Expected Finish: 3rd

Ko-oren:
Yeah, yeah, we know. Pot one. No one can really be expected to beat these guys, even the likes of The Sarian or Quebec. Probably looking at two losses here, although anything can happen.

Prediction: Two losses
Expected Finish: 1st

By using these predictions, we should have 30 points by the end of the 18 matchdays. While we will put up our case for a qualification spot, we really don’t expect to get it. We’ll just hve to wait and see, I suppose.

Friendlies:

Let’s not even go into these. We started off well enough, playing four games against Garbelia, with three wins and one loss. Then it all went downhill. We lost away to Savigliane, at home to Juvencus, played well against Vdara despite losing 2-1 and did the same against Baker Park, but with the score finishing 3-1. We also lost to Quemorr Isles, at home, 1-0. Fucking hell. Not great from the 97th ranked side in the world.
We defeated Lorrana in a hard-fought matchup, but we still lost to Sharktail and HUElavia in games we really could’ve won, especially considering Sharktail are ranked lower than us and HUElavia were playing their C team. But we’ll get over it, and we may as well get the bad games out of the way before the serious stuff starts.

Our first game is against North Alezia at Chamberley Institute of Sport. It’s certainly beginning to look like a cracker of a game.