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by Voxija » Sun Jul 12, 2020 3:33 pm
by Main Nation Ministry » Mon Jul 13, 2020 12:01 am
by Talchyon » Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:32 am
Main Nation Ministry wrote:Francis Smith and Jean-Marc Consommer
"We need to get out of here! I think whatever I tried a bite of, didn't have a rabies shot.." Smith said, until he noticed something odd with both DeMarcus and Isaacarine. Both of them were about to leave, but they appeared to be struggling to get up from their chairs.
Smith tried to get up, only to feel something smily and sticky glueing him down on his ass. "The hell?" Smith struggled, but he cannot properly stand up. He would have to bend over and lift the chair with his rear, since it was glued. "I can't rip these pants! I brought them from Nordstrom! Jean-Marc, do something!" Smith yelled, as Consommer stood up, where Smith realized that Consommer didn't have any crud on this chair to pin him down. "You all appear to be in a sticky situation, my colleagues."
"Help us out of these chairs, you moron!"
"I shall see if the staff is willing to help you. I will also complain about the over priced salad!" Consommer said, as he started to head to the "Staff Only" door. Knowing that some of the journalists may already know what's deep in the restaurant, they didn't want to know. "Try to move the chairs away from the table! We gotta get out of here! Jean-Marc isn't going to do jack!" Smith yelled, as he tried to do a mini hop on his chair to scoot away from the table to give himself some more room.
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Voxija » Sat Jul 18, 2020 7:09 am
by Main Nation Ministry » Sun Jul 19, 2020 12:57 pm
After I adjusted the glasses upon opening the door, I was met with a rather grisly sight. A bit strange that I didn't smell any smoke earlier, but they must have disabled the fire alarms, which itself can be a major violation from the health department. There were dozens of hooded figures crowding around....something. The staff appeared to be in the middle of summoning some sort of eldritch abomination in the form of a blob composed of waste, leftovers, and some rancid looking rotten compost. A man wearing red robes was speaking in long tongue, where his eyes were rolled back to show the whites in his eyes. I can see what appears to be the Necronomicon in his hands, and at one corner of the kitchen, someone is letting many unidentifiable animals be burned to the crisp. It wasn't until one of the hooded figures noticed him was when I had to excuse me for being rude on disturbing private affairs.
by Mediama » Sun Jul 19, 2020 1:04 pm
MBC News: Landmark decision establishes national holiday for elections|Seagull shows no fear as it crashes into power generator, causing massive blackouts|Talks in the process for upcoming state visit by Liegallan delegates|Mediaman Pacific Fleet conducts exercises with the United States|Parliament debates over intervention in Hintuwan over communist terrorism|Local Mediaman arrested after attempting to buy clothes from a soup store|Negotiations reached between Illistrantian municipal government and local LGBT Center restricting Pride parades to people 18 and over|Prime Minister Herman Marshal highlights need to 'counter communism around every corner'
by Talchyon » Sun Jul 19, 2020 4:55 pm
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Barapam » Mon Jul 20, 2020 3:56 am
by Pax Nerdvana » Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:10 am
by Main Nation Ministry » Mon Jul 20, 2020 10:53 am
"Uh uh, girlfriend. Here's how this is goin' down. It's called making a deal. We got something you can use. We are reporters for a magazine, girl. And we'll give your restaurant a good review in our next issue if you let us go."
"Oh, so you don't care about that. Fine. Well, I got something even better. Something you can definitely use." And when the hardened eyes of the waitress tried to stare into his soul to find out what, DeMarcus just pointed down at his puke-covered flip-flops. "Those. You can have my socks and sandals. And everything else covering them. Look, let's be real. We all know what that 'mystery meat' really was, and how it was cooked. Seems to me like you got yourself more product you can sell here. It's all yours."
"That would make a great special for tonight..." she began to say.
DeMarcus gladly got out of his flip-flops and yacked on socks. "You can have it. Just let us go."
The waitress responded, "But what about payment?"
DeMarcus nodded matter-of-factly. "I want to start a tab here. Great place like this? You just got yourself some repeat customers. So, put the charge under my tab. My name is Antonio Brown? Yeah. Charge it all to Antonio Brown. Chairs included."
"What are you doing? Some kind of chair conga? It looks fun! Where can I get a chair?
by Voxija » Mon Jul 20, 2020 2:01 pm
Talchyon wrote:DeMarcus glared at her again. "Oh, so you don't care about that. Fine. Well, I got something even better. Something you can definitely use." And when the hardened eyes of the waitress tried to stare into his soul to find out what, DeMarcus just pointed down at his puke-covered flip-flops. "Those. You can have my socks and sandals. And everything else covering them. Look, let's be real. We all know what that 'mystery meat' really was, and how it was cooked. Seems to me like you got yourself more product you can sell here. It's all yours."
The waitress looked down with a surprised expression. Then up at DeMarcus, trying to see if he was being for real. Then down again with glee. "That would make a great special for tonight..." she began to say.
DeMarcus gladly got out of his flip-flops and yacked on socks. "You can have it. Just let us go."
The waitress responded, "But what about payment?"
DeMarcus nodded matter-of-factly. "I want to start a tab here. Great place like this? You just got yourself some repeat customers. So, put the charge under my tab. My name is Antonio Brown? Yeah. Charge it all to Antonio Brown. Chairs included."
Glancing again at the nasty socks and flip-flops, then up again, then down again, the waitress nodded. "Deal." Then she put the knife away, took the socks and flip-flops covered in Isaacarine's vomit, and moved aside to let them all out.
DeMarcus smiled. As they began to stumble out with their chairs stuck to the backs of them, he said to his group, "More than one way to get what you want," he said with a grin - though not like anyone could see it, having to stare down with bent backs at the ground.
Barapam wrote:But you probably knew this already! And don't let me bore you with work talk! What are you doing? Some kind of chair conga? It looks fun! Where can I get a chair?"
by Barapam » Sun Jul 26, 2020 11:27 pm
Main Nation Ministry wrote:Francis Smith
"Just get this damn chair off my ass, without ripping my pants!" Smith yelled, as there appeared to be some commotion from inside the restaurant. Probably because the cultists from the kitchen had ran out into the main dining area.
Voxija wrote:Isaacarine Rosenberg
That was Conn. Rosenberg didn't like Conn much. It was all in the name: a con. Besides that, Isaacarine was worried that Conn Spirou would invoke the second rule of conspiracy: Blame the Jews. Conn had already insulted ID's Voxijan heritage, by saying that the former president Bixenta Agirre was assigned male at birth. Not that being trans was wrong, saying that the president was trans was just untrue.
by Talchyon » Sat Aug 01, 2020 8:07 am
Voxija wrote:Isaacarine Rosenberg
Isaacarine was impressed at DeMarcus's quick thinking, and that the plan actually worked. She began to respect him even more than someone should respect his coworker. Isaacarine slipped out of the restaurant, following behind Smith in the space that he created.Barapam wrote:But you probably knew this already! And don't let me bore you with work talk! What are you doing? Some kind of chair conga? It looks fun! Where can I get a chair?"
That was Conn. Rosenberg didn't like Conn much. It was all in the name: a con. Besides that, Isaacarine was worried that Conn Spirou would invoke the second rule of conspiracy: Blame the Jews. Conn had already insulted ID's Voxijan heritage, by saying that the former president Bixenta Agirre was assigned male at birth. Not that being trans was wrong, saying that the president was trans was just untrue.
"Uh, Mister Clark?" said Isaacarine. "Uh... sorry for barfing on your shoes." But who wears flip-flops and socks together, anyway? "You did good back there, stopping that waitress."
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Mediama » Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:59 am
MBC News: Landmark decision establishes national holiday for elections|Seagull shows no fear as it crashes into power generator, causing massive blackouts|Talks in the process for upcoming state visit by Liegallan delegates|Mediaman Pacific Fleet conducts exercises with the United States|Parliament debates over intervention in Hintuwan over communist terrorism|Local Mediaman arrested after attempting to buy clothes from a soup store|Negotiations reached between Illistrantian municipal government and local LGBT Center restricting Pride parades to people 18 and over|Prime Minister Herman Marshal highlights need to 'counter communism around every corner'
by Voxija » Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:08 pm
Talchyon wrote:When Isaacarine apologized, DeMarcus was still pretty upset at the whole lunch break that had somehow turned into an excruciating 7 or so hours because now it was dark. So it was just one more thing to be annoyed at that his designer flip flops and fly socks with undigested Isaacarine food on them now were now going to be part of tomorrow's noon special. He growled. But then, realizing he was talking to a kid, he forced himself to reign in his temper.
"Yeah, that's s'alright, Shorty. I got others. As for that move with the waitress, I tell you, always impersonate Antonio Brown and it works out great."
Barapam wrote:"You got ID drunk!? You irresponsible bastards!"
by Main Nation Ministry » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:06 am
"Umm... Okay, I'll try..." Conn said, now confused about how they all had gotten stuck on chairs and why, if it wasn't voluntarily as part of a game. He went behind his new boss, grabbed a chair leg in each hand, and pulled as hard as he could.
It didn't help. He pulled again and took a step backwards too, but that just caused Smith to be dragged along with him, in rather comical fashion. "You need to push yourself forward at the same time, otherwise this is never gonna work!" Conn told the editor as he kept on pulling the legs. "Can somebody grab his arms and pull from the other side?" he asked his colleagues, still pulling.
“Heya Chief, like to talk now but we’ve got to get the heck out of here. I’ve heard something about some sort of gas leak or something? And last I checked, there were a lot of smokers in there.” She said as she tried to push the group to get as far away from the restaurant as possible.
While I wasn't no arsonist, the sight of a nasty pop-up restaurant going up to flames was practically a reviewer's best dream come true. While I could have sworn I heard the painful screams of those who couldn't exit the building in time, I wondered if the establishment was perhaps cursed. Francis Smith, the editor in-chief of The Daily Carrot requested that we avoid the attention of any law enforcement who would ask us questions on the explosion that had occurred. Then again, we have all left without paying, so I guess what we committed was illegal. But on the bright side, it was still lucky for us to survive that gas leak.
Now, I must leave a review on the Rosario's House. Out of all the expensive inedible food, rude service, unsanitary conditions, and possible cases of food poisonings... I shall grant the now-former Roasario's House 2 and a half stars. I can't really recommend it, due to it being possibly out of commission due to said events described in this article, however I strive to be more lucky next time. Somewhere out in Anywhere City, there will be a restaurant that I can recommend.
Editor's Note: After being taken to the hospital and having my trousers ripped, I asked to have my stomach pumped, not wanting to contract any illnesses or poisoning from whatever the hell that mystery meat was. When the results came in, I was told by my doctor that the animal that I had ate doesn't belong to any known researched species in the world.
by Mediama » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:40 am
Voxija wrote:That made ID angry. He didn't even know what she drank! And even if she did, one sip of beer wasn't going to get anyone drunk. Isaacarine opened her mouth to tear that Vasco Kraut a new one, but her response came out as a mumble.
"Drudk? I'b not drudk..."
Isaacarine tried to run away from the restaurant, but after a few steps, Isaacarine tripped over her own shoes and fell on her back like a downed turtle. Isaacarine was used to this, she could get up, but it was friggin hard with a chair on her back.
"Stupid gangly teenage puberty!" Isaacarine kicked her legs in the air like someone trying to exercise but it didn't work.
The young journalist saw Caroline Digby out of the corner of her eye. Isaacarine stuck her hand out in Carol's vague direction, and Rosenberg's Jewish half would have been horrified to know what it looked like from her colleague's angle.
"Hey, Carol! Please help me up, please?"
MBC News: Landmark decision establishes national holiday for elections|Seagull shows no fear as it crashes into power generator, causing massive blackouts|Talks in the process for upcoming state visit by Liegallan delegates|Mediaman Pacific Fleet conducts exercises with the United States|Parliament debates over intervention in Hintuwan over communist terrorism|Local Mediaman arrested after attempting to buy clothes from a soup store|Negotiations reached between Illistrantian municipal government and local LGBT Center restricting Pride parades to people 18 and over|Prime Minister Herman Marshal highlights need to 'counter communism around every corner'
by Talchyon » Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:59 am
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Voxija » Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:21 pm
Mediama wrote:Carol turned to find the young girl had been in quite a predicament. There she was, laid down like a hapless sea turtle, getting ready for... well, you know... the thing...
Anyway, Carol helped as she quickly hid the revolver behind her, trying to sneak it back into her leg holster as she rushed over to the girl. “Isaacarine right? Hold on I’ve got something for that.” She opened her purse and dug around for a bit muttering to herself before she exclaimed, “Aha! Here it is, anti-adhesive.”
She opened up the bottle and poured it around the areas in which the hapless girl was stuck to, The stench unbearable as it resembled burnt rubber, mystery meatloaf, and god knows what else, and then tried to wedge her off the chair... to no avail... “That’s odd, that was supposed to work.” She dug around her purse once more, and pulled out another bottle, “Let’s see if this works, anti-pro-anti-adhesive.”
She repeated the process again, the stench coming of this mixture even worse than the last one, again to no avail. “Rats, I thought that would work... hold on, let me try to at least get you back in a better position.”
She took the back of the girl’s chair, and tried to lift it narrowly missing a thrown knife as she bent down to lift her up, just as she was about to set the chair up a fleeing patron bumped into Carol, causing her to drop the chair and Isaacarine with it, the resulting impact shattering the chair into splinters.
“Ah... s-sorry about that.” She pulled the teenager up, and awkwardly dusted her off.
Well, at least she was free.
by Main Nation Ministry » Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:03 am
by Barapam » Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:04 am
by Voxija » Fri Aug 21, 2020 4:42 pm
by Talchyon » Fri Aug 21, 2020 6:36 pm
Main Nation Ministry wrote:Francis Smith
"...sports they doing, but I got the address to where it is on the board. Lately, it looks like something is happening at the Bank and Trust Savings building. A new experimential financial model, but I'm not into economics."
"Huh. It looks like I had covered everything. I don't think we should worry about anyone, since there is the chance that whoever owned Rosario's House is dead from that gas leak. So today is going to be a normal and busy day! Any questions before we all get to work?" Smith asked his fellow workers.
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Main Nation Ministry » Fri Aug 21, 2020 11:03 pm
"Well, if we can't annoy the mayor, then I guess I'll go for the homocide thing..." Conn stood with his arms crossed, looking over the map laid out in front of them. Suddenly he snapped his fingers, as if he had just gotten an idea. "Oh! I just got an idea! Maybe it's all connected? The Locksley scandal, the murders, the economic experiment, and the mayor! And also the sports somehow..?"
"By the way, on an unrelated note, there's a couple things I need to talk to you about, boss, but we can do that after I finish this article about the Trictobothnia murders. Is there anything else before I go?"
Isaacarine raised her hand like a schoolgirl. "I would like to help report on the art expo. May I do so?" Isaacarine grinned evily. She would lambast terrible art, but she would also find a way to sneak Gianni Bondier in with her. The teenage girl wanted to spend some time with, hopefully, her new boyfriend.
by Barapam » Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:43 pm
Talchyon wrote:When Conn said he'd cover the homicides, DeMarcus laughed. The Carrot was going to send that conspiracy nut into cover a real news story? He'd just have to give him a few tips to watch for. So DeMarcus leaned over to Conn and whispered, "Hey man, about that homicide story, I heard some inside intel from one of my secret unnamed sources that said the Illuminati and their good twins, the Illuminice, are involved. You got to make sure you make that your leading question to every witness - Are you with the Illuminati? 'Cause if they say no, then you know for sure they're on the other side. The Illuminice side."
That should do it. DeMarcus wanted to hear all about Conn's investigations after the nutcase was done "researching" it.
Main Nation Ministry wrote:Francis Smith
"You can tell me anything after you're done with the assigment at the Trictobothnia Building. Though there isn't anything else I have uncovered, unless you discovered something of interest that could be good for the current issue." Smith said, though he did dismiss Spirou's claim that all of the current events happening across Anywhere City were connected. "I'm sure that all of these events happening at once are not connected, Spirou." Smith said.Isaacarine raised her hand like a schoolgirl. "I would like to help report on the art expo. May I do so?" Isaacarine grinned evily. She would lambast terrible art, but she would also find a way to sneak Gianni Bondier in with her. The teenage girl wanted to spend some time with, hopefully, her new boyfriend.
"Fine by me, Rosenburg. With the more journalists present at the expo, we have more information to cover."
"I recommend we should starting getting things ready, before we head out?"
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