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by Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:57 am
by Westinor » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:52 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Wouldn't it be a better dilemma if an allied nation was pursuing refugees who are seeking sanctuary with you?
That way it'd be a question of respecting the military autonomy of your allies, vs showing compassion for the refugees.
by Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 13, 2020 2:50 am
by Drasnia » Mon Jul 13, 2020 10:00 am
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:On a separate point, I'd note that the adjective for United Federation has historically been United Federation, but I think United Federal would be reasonable and preferable in some circumstances. United Federationist, not so much.
by Westinor » Mon Jul 13, 2020 1:42 pm
Drasnia wrote:This looks pretty good. My only complaint is that I'm not feeling like the doppelganger issues are really justified. They seem a bit pointless to me.Candlewhisper Archive wrote:On a separate point, I'd note that the adjective for United Federation has historically been United Federation, but I think United Federal would be reasonable and preferable in some circumstances. United Federationist, not so much.
United Federalist maybe? Eh, not sure on that one, but thought I'd throw the idea out there.
Candlewhisper Archive wrote:On a separate point, I'd note that the adjective for United Federation has historically been United Federation, but I think United Federal would be reasonable and preferable in some circumstances. United Federationist, not so much.
by Westinor » Mon Jul 13, 2020 8:44 pm
by Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:50 am
your loose ally
in a bitter conflict/
Hoping to preserve diplomatic relations
a trio of badly-damaged ships carrying refugees from Núi Và Sông
a fleet of United Federation battleships pursuing them
captain of the lead destroyer
the United Federation Ambassador as kicks your door down
sic' em
[option] "No — this is a chance to help these nations seek peace!" cries your Minister of Diplomacy as she desperately tries to keep your Ministers of War and Peace from pummeling each other. "Stop both fleets, and have them meet each other on some middle ground — perhaps one of our ships? Call in leaders from both nations, and right there we can hash out a peace deal — two mortal enemies, weary from war and looking each other in the eye, agreeing to set their weapons down in the name of peace! That's a happy ending if I've ever heard one!"
[effect]@@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ arbiters stand in the middle of the battlefield yelling at both sides to stop shooting
by Westinor » Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:57 am
Daarwyrth wrote:Does this mean "destroy" in genZ-speak?
Daarwyrth wrote:The idea of the option in itself isn't bad, but unless the President of the United Federation or its government isn't on those ships, I doubt whether the people commanding the United Federation vessels would have the authority to sign and discuss a peace treaty. Perhaps you can still keep the ships as the middle ground, but add in a line that @@NAME@@ will fly in the leaders of both nations, to discuss the peace treaty?
by Daarwyrth » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:00 pm
Westinor wrote:The option actually mentions calling in both leaders, which I felt would be more efficient and realistic than flying them in. I did heavily debate that though, so I'll probably change it to flying in.
by Minskiev » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:03 pm
@@ANIMAL@@ city
by Westinor » Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:06 pm
Daarwyrth wrote:Westinor wrote:The option actually mentions calling in both leaders, which I felt would be more efficient and realistic than flying them in. I did heavily debate that though, so I'll probably change it to flying in.
Ah, I might have read over that, so my apologies! I see the line "call in both leaders" now, so you don't need to change it! The way it's written sounds more efficient and it was mainly an oversight on my part
by Trotterdam » Mon Aug 03, 2020 2:05 pm
It's traditionally the command used to order attack dogs to go after someone.Daarwyrth wrote:Add "he" after "as". Also, consider changing the last few words to "as he kicks down your door".sic' emDoes this mean "destroy" in genZ-speak?
by Daarwyrth » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:13 am
Trotterdam wrote:It's traditionally the command used to order attack dogs to go after someone.Daarwyrth wrote:Add "he" after "as". Also, consider changing the last few words to "as he kicks down your door".sic' emDoes this mean "destroy" in genZ-speak?
Also used as a transitive verb, as in "sic the dogs on...".
Westinor wrote:Gah, now I'm debating whether I should add fly into the option, or whether it even reads smoothly. I'll probably keep it, but I need to consider rewriting this option. Thanks though!
by Westinor » Tue Aug 04, 2020 11:19 am
Daarwyrth wrote:\;Westinor wrote:Gah, now I'm debating whether I should add fly into the option, or whether it even reads smoothly. I'll probably keep it, but I need to consider rewriting this option. Thanks though!
I have reread it today again and now I am thoroughly convinced that as it is currently, it's fine and clear!
by Daarwyrth » Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:02 am
I'm begging you @@LEADER@@, this is our darkest hour — you are our only hope.
by Westinor » Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:38 am
Daarwyrth wrote:I'm begging you @@LEADER@@, this is our darkest hour — you are our only hope.
Consider phrasing this as "This is our most desperate hour. Help us, @@LEADER@@, you're our only hope" to score Star Wars reference points
I really like the effect lines and the general streamlining of the issue! I think it's best suited at 3 options indeed
by Daarwyrth » Sat Sep 05, 2020 2:50 pm
"After all, isn't that what allies are for?"
seek peace
Call in leaders from both nations
by Westinor » Sat Sep 05, 2020 2:56 pm
Daarwyrth wrote:"After all, isn't that what allies are for?"
I've been thinking about this line, and I am unsure whether it should be worded this way, given that you state in the premise "United Federation, your loose ally". Perhaps you could instead go for a line saying something along the lines of "Surely it'd be worth it to warm up our relations", "Surely you don't want to drift ever further apart from your ally" or "After all, aren't we allies, or something". I realise I have made them a bit wordy, but perhaps there'd be a way to convey a similar attitude more succinctly? Of course, if you prefer it the way it is worded now, feel free to ignore this comment!
by Empirical Switzerland » Sat Sep 05, 2020 3:00 pm
News: Swiss Man uses 'Fonduethrower' on cow test-subject, lethality confirmed, Priest gets drunk on Blood of Christ, claims he just couldn't handle the Jesusness, and War with Tupeia deemed 'inevitable'.
by Great Robertia » Sat Sep 05, 2020 3:03 pm
Westinor wrote:Yeah, the intention was to have it sound like he was suggesting that they were allies, thus this action is justified. I was considering italicising the allies, but I'm not sure if it would be needed.
by Westinor » Tue Sep 15, 2020 2:50 pm
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