[title] Making A Good Impression
[validity] no censorship
[description] Controversy arose after the latest airing of the popular sketch show @@CAPITAL@@ Tonight Live. Brancalandian @@RANDOMNAME_1@@, known for @@HIS_1@@ satirical portrayals of political figures, impersonated you by saying "Hi! My name is @@LEADER@@, and I am responsible for the Maxtopian Civil War!". You have been advised to ride out the ensuing uproar in a supplies cupboard, where you can discuss potential solutions.
[option] As you close the door quietly, you see your lawyer @@RANDOMNAME@@ sitting behind the shelf of cleaning fluids, scribbling words onto a paper towel. "Ah, take a seat on this bucket. You see, @@RANDOMNAME_1@@ has said some tiny little fibs about you. Well, the best option is to just sue @@HIM_1@@ into bankruptcy. You get money, the truth is out there, and you won't be bothered by this buffoon again. Just sign on the dotted line."
[effect] lawyers file libel suits against anyone who calls @@LEADER@@ a meaniebutt
[option] "No need to go into all that trouble!" perks your rarely seen Minister of Roasting from behind a mop. "It's obvious @@HE_1@@ is fishing for attention. The simple solution is obviously to give it to @@HIM_1@@! In your next public statement, just make a crude joke about @@HIS_1@@ mother or about @@HIS_1@@ previous conviction for drunk driving in Brancaland. There is no way this could go wrong!"
[effect] @@LEADER@@'s diss tracks on political opponents have reached the top of the charts
[option] You then see General @@RANDOMNAME@@ sitting on the old stool you forgot existed, staring into space menacingly. "That clown has disgraced us once again! Last night's one really takes the cake, it wasn't even as bad as when @@HE_1@@ joked that we were rigging elections in Skandilund! It's not funny anymore! We should deport this buffoon back to Brancaland and ban anybody from making fun of a government official!
[effect] government spies infiltrate comedy clubs to weed out potential terrorists
[option] "SUPPLIES!" comes a voice from above. You see a figure jump from the ceiling and land on the floor as you scream in terror, before realising it's just @@RANDOMNAME_1@@. Before you can call security, @@HE_1@@ starts speaking. "Geddit? Supplies, surprise... I just surprised you... never mind. You're passing a great opportunity leader! I just made you viral in many countries with my performance, and you could make a few @@CURRENCY@@ of it! Posting a government update on your Twitcher account? Add a #IAmResponsibleForTheMaxtopianCivilWar. Going out in public? Wear a shirt that says "I was responsible for the Maxtopian Civil War, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt. Think about it! Think about the MONEYYY!"
[effect] soldiers admit to war crimes by pasting their confessions on a mug
Tried my hand at a slightly more humorous issue