World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Omerica]

THE OFFICIAL THE BEET

@thebeet_OME

- -@cocoabo_luvr

Thank you for eating The Beet. We hope you continue to enjoy our fine journalistic and culinary offerings!

#cocoa-bo

THE OFFICIAL THE BEET

@thebeet_OME

We’ve been told there’s something called The Turnip. We’re not sure what it is, but The Beet Laboratories are investigating this anomaly.

#WeLoveToDye

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United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Oberour Ar Moro 2–2 Omerica
World Cup 85 qualifying group stage — Matchday Three
Parade Grounds, Regium, Oberour Ar Moro
Goalscorers: Taran Bele 39’, 57’; Anaïs Cabral 13’ – Alphonse Fontaine 78’
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Jean-Robert Tosi; Felix Zanetti – Raphaël Martin – Noah Clement – Jodie Barton; Thom Magalhães – Jessica Bennett – Alphonse Fontaine (captain); Adélaïde Argyris – Jean-François Fernand – Anaïs Cabral
Substitutions: Magalhães > John Soares 45’ – Martin > Justin Thyme 59’ – Clement > Frédérique Marquetti 66’

Omerica v Drunk People at the Local Tavern
World Cup 85 qualifying group stage — Matchday Four
Stade Just-Cartier, Val-du-Tibère, Charlottesville
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Rowan Greycastle; Alphonse Notley – Justin Thyme – Frédérique Marquetti – Lauren Kerry; Simone Bonfils – Soraya Archambault (captain) – Maxime Fournier; Maïa Bustos – Alexis Chrysanthos – Jamal Ahmad

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[Recuecn]

Franky had sent a telegram to Sir Barsanuphius a year or so ago when he had first announced the shocking revelation concerning Cocoa-Bo's nefarious qualities and unveiled his campaign against the substance. But he had not spoken publicly on the matter, and this fact nagged at his conscience. Franky new the truth; surely it was his duty to warn others. And so, after scoring a hat trick against Grearia, he made sure to mention it at the post-match press conference. The reporters caught him coming off the pitch, but one of the trainers thoughtfully handed him a water bottle and a towel. Throwing back his head, Franky gulped down as much of the water as quickly as he could, before pouring the rest onto his face, over his head, and down his back. He tossed the bottle back to the trainer, and was still wiping sweat and water from his face with the towel as they rolled the sponsor board behind him for the cameras.

"This is your third hat trick for the national team, Franky, and your first since world cup seventy-three qualifiers. How does that feel?"

"Well, it feels great, obviously. But I think what I've learned in the years since this happened last time is that it's not something I can do on my own. Back then I really thought that my individual efforts could be enough, but if you look at how it happened today, it wouldn't have been possible without those plays by Raoul and Harold and Hippolyte. We're only getting better at working together, and as we do, I think you'll be seeing more games like this."

"Does this mean we'll see the team becoming more offensive on the pitch as it improves?"

"No, we're only able to do what we do in the attacking half thanks to the way we're covered—I'd take our back half over any other team's, any day. We've got our tradition and our style of play that we're used to, and clearly it's working."

Franky glanced over to the technical area, where most of the players had packed up and already headed into the tunnel toward the locker-room, but Assistant Coach Relié was still standing there, arms crossed, watching Franky's interview. Franky saw a faint smile on his face and felt relieved. He was never sure how Relié would react to things, and he knew he took PR very seriously. But apparently, so far at least, this interview was up to snuff.

"Any thoughts on what to expect for the next match?"

"Each game is its own challenge, but I think playing Filindostan is going to be tougher than what we've done so far. Sure, Damukuni was nominally a higher seed, but you watched that game. The stats on paper mean nothing. Filindostan's been convincing—they handled Damukuni even more easily than we did. But the challenge isn't 'oh, you're facing a team with a better differential, look out': the challenge is that we've looked at how they've been playing, and we've got our work cut out for us."

"So are you worried then?"

Franky grinned. "Not at all. We can take them."

"Lebo looked lost on the field today; the two of you were out of sync compared to usual, and Tremblay took him off early. What's going on there?"

Franky paused for a split second, as one always does when someone refers to a close friend by their last name. "Freeman's fine, I didn't think he played any worse than usual today. If anything we weren't giving him the support he needed. Maybe he needs to destress a bit, but he's great, he'll handle everything okay. And the fact we could still win the way we did, even without him at his best, just goes to show the depth the team has: we've got his back."

"Thanks for your time, Franky. Anything else you want to say to the fans?"

Franky looked into the camera. "Just, your support means a lot. You're the best there are, keep coming to the games, we couldn't do it without—hang on, yeah! There is something I want to say!" Franky's brain had caught up with the preprogrammed post-match clichés. The thought that had struck him was so important, he didn't notice Relié's smile slip into a frown.

"There's an ongoing travesty out there, and no one's doing anything about it. Frankly, I don't understand how it's not already a major scandal. Turori has been producing performance-enhancing drugs for the Vilitan national team, sneaking it through in Cocoa-Bo products, and getting away with it scott free. It's insane, and something needs to be done.

"I was in communication with this guy Sir Baranus..ius... anyway, he's the kinda guy you just know is super wise, right? He's like some kind of monk or holy warrior or something, he knows his shi—stuff. He's got proof that Coca-Bo is really just a drug. The WCC isn't doing anything, so the fans have a right to know. Justice is in their hands."

Relié strode into frame, grabbing Franky by the bicep. He forced a smile at the cameras. "Thank you, it's been a pleasure," he said, though his voice belied him. "Come on, Franky."

Franky ignored the tug on his arm. "Think about it!" he implored, still talking directly to camera. "Why would Vilita choke at the final of world cup eighty-four? There was no reason for them to lose that game! Obviously their supply of Cocoa-Bo dried up at the last minute, and their performance fell through."

The nonsense Franky was spouting was enough for Relié to give him another look of disbelief, as if to say did you watch that game, Franky!? But then he was bag to his role as PR disaster relief. He forced another smile to the reporter: "Thank you, that will be all." And replacing his hand on Franky's bicep, he now put an arm across his back to force him along into the tunnel.

Even as they made it to the locker-room, Franky hadn't given up on his new fixation. "Come on, man," he remonstrated with Relié. "The people need to know."

"What just happened?" Emanuele Cutrona asked, looking up at the pair as they entered the changing room. He showed them his phone. "I'm already seeing twii.ts saying stuff like 'I didn't know Franky was such an idiot'."

"Don't worry about it," said Relié. "Franky and I are going to have a talk, and this is the last you'll hear of it."

Emanuele was back on his phone. "Here's one that says 'They should start calling The Unicorns The Sheep, lmao'. What are they even talking about?" But Relié, seeing Emanuele was more interested in the twii.ts than in what Franky had actually said, didn't answer the question.

"I want you all to stay off twii.tur for tonight, and we'll have a PR meeting first thing tomorrow morning."

"What!?" This had caught Quentin Gouin's attention. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Tremblay wasn't around. "I'm going out, there's no way I'm doing anything tomorrow morning. And I know I'm not the only one."

"Sorry man," said Relié. "You have your pal Franky to thank for that."

Franky, for once, and despite having just scored a hat trick, didn't go out partying himself that night. He was too obsessed with his new mission. He got to his hotel room, started recording, and opened up facebook live. Thousands of Reçuecian fans tuned in to hear what he had to say live, and afterward he sent the video to the Reçueçn Times, who promptly published it on their website, although in the celebrity section, rather than sports.

"Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in. I've got a lot to say. Well, it's not even that I have anything I want to say. The issue here is that there's something that needs to be said.

A while back, I got in touch with Sir Baranubis—this was back when he first started talking about how there were suspicions of Cocoa-Bo being a performance enhancing drug. Well, know we know it is.

I'd personally told Sir Barasphalt that I supported his campaign, but I haven't had a chance to publicly announce my support. Well, I'm doing that tonight. I stand with Sir Barsubsonic... uh, I might not be pronouncing that right... but the point is, he has my vote. As soon as he has an official campaign name, I'm on board, and in the meantime, I'll be starting my own organization. I'm going to call it 'Crusade in Opposition to Cocoa-bo Organized to Achieve a Ban on Ability-enhancing Drugs,' or COCOA-BAD for short. Although, that's kind of a mouthful, so maybe I'll just call it 'Cocoa-Bo is Bad' which can still be shortened to Cocoa-Bad. Or maybe I'll do it with an equals sign: Cocoa=Bad. Only that sounds like I mean all chocolate. Anyway, I don't know. All I know is that this is a serious issue and needs to be addressed."

Needless to say, Relié was not happy the next morning.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

[Zwangzug]

This RP cutoff takes no position on the merits of Cocoa-bo, RP-inin, Verbosita, or any other performance-enhancing substance.
Also, please see the WCDT for a note about MD3.
MD4 scores for Groups 9-15

[Wrecker]

54 LOST YEARS – The story of the Wreckerian Civil War
Part 2: The attempted assassination of President John Adler
The mid-1960s in Wreckeria were a time of uncertainty and tension, whipped up by Scott Stone, a far-right rabble-rouser turned “cult leader,” as some called him. Speeches from Stone inspired millions of Wreckerians to unite into a new party known as the True Wreckerians, a group of people dedicated to turning the Republic of Wreckeria into one of the dominant forces of all of Atlantian Oceania, and possibly, the multiverse.

Those speeches whipped Wreckerians into shape, alright, and it seemed like a foregone conclusion that something was going to light the match that turned those tensions into all-out chaos.

On March 18, 1966, that match was lit.

John Adler, the President of Wreckeria, was locking up his race shop for the evening. Frustrated by some of the madness going on in the government offices in Halsted, Adler decided to calm his nerves by going to the shop and working on one of his race cars. He had done this increasingly often over the weeks leading up to this day, and there were some small murmurs that maybe, by some chance, that President Adler was actually going to enter one of the races of the Wreckerian Stock Car Championship.

But as he was locking up the shop, a crazed gunman, inspired by Scott Stone’s rhetoric, pulled out a pistol and shot Adler twice. He aimed for his head, but got him in the right shoulder and the back. Richard Hatfield, a 19-year old idealist, tried to shoot again, but his gun jammed. A group of Adler’s associates charged the gunman and subdued him, but too late to avoid injury to the President of Wreckeria.

When he was rushed to Halsted General Hospital three miles away, the media picked up on what happened upon his arrival. The Wreckerian Media Service picked up on the shooting, and their teletype machines soon captured the extent of the incident.

FLASH: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 0915: PRESIDENT ADLER SHOT OUTSIDE RACE SHOP. DEVELOPING

FLASH: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 0917: ADLER SHOT IN RIGHT SHOULDER AND BACK. GUNMAN UNIDENTIFIED. DEVELOPING

UPDATE: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 0918: ADLER STATUS UNKNOWN. GUNMAN APPREHENDED. DEVELOPING

UPDATE: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 0935: GUNMAN REPORTED TRUE WRECKERIAN SUPPORTER

That fourth update had not yet been verified when it had been released. For all everybody knew, this guy could have been a crazed lunatic looking to win over the heart of a young starlet. Nobody could ask President Adler – surgeons were trying to save his life at this point, and his supporters waiting outside in Halsted General were too angry to string together a coherent thought or two. But it was all people needed to know.

FLASH: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 1120: HALSTED POLICE CONDUCT RAID ON TRUE WRECKERIAN OFFICE. STONE SHOT BY POLICE. CONDITION UNKNOWN

There had been enough reasonable suspicion among the Halsted Police Department that the True Wreckerians might have had something to do with what had happened at the John Adler shop. Nothing had been proven at that point, but there had been enough suspicion. Had Scott Stone personally ordered the attack? Had the True Wreckerians been plotting this? Either way, the Halsted Police was granted a warrant to search the True Wreckerian offices in Halsted to see if anything could connect them to the shooting. When they tried to carry out the warrant, however, it didn’t go well.

In an incident report, Halsted Police Lieutenant Duke Green wrote that True Wreckerian supporters met the HPD with resistance, and Scott Stone yelled “This is BULLSHIT!” at police officers. Green alleged that some of the True Wreckerians started to get violent. Stone was physically blocking officers access to something. At one point, a gun was pulled out. Shots were fired.

FLASH: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 1201: SCOTT STONE ‘DEAD ON ARRIVAL’ AT HALSTED GENERAL

MINORTOWN, MARCH 18, 1209: SPONTANEOUS DEMONSTRATIONS SHUT DOWN CITY

GARDEN PARK, MARCH 18, 1210: PROTESTS ERUPT IN TOWN CENTER

The cult leader of the True Wreckerians was dead, and all hell was starting to break loose. True Wreckerian supporters across the nation spontaneously erupted in protest. It seemed like violence was inevitable. And sure enough, it did. Historians suggest the first shots of the Wreckerian Civil War were fired later that afternoon in a town called Floodville, a town of 12,500 people, when armed True Wreckerian protesters fired on members of the Wreckerian Army, who had come to calm down the protests.

FLASH: FLOODVILLE, MARCH 18, 1615: BATTLE ERUPTS BETWEEN TRUE WRECKERIANS, WRECKERIAN ARMY

By the end of the day, violence had erupted all over Wreckeria. For the last few months, it had seemed like an inevitability. The tension across Wreckeria was so strong, it seemed like the nation had turned into a powder keg waiting to go off. When the fuse was lit, all hell broke loose. By the time night fell over Wreckeria, most of the nation was gripped in violence. The WMS’s teletype service picked up the details of the horror.

FLASH: HALSTED, MARCH 18, 2106: WRECKERIAN GOVERNMENT OFFICES ABLAZE, FIRE SET BY TRUE WRECKERIANS

UPDATE: MINORTOWN, MARCH 18, 2112: ‘HUNDREDS DEAD’ IN VIOLENCE

UPDATE: DONNER LAKE, MARCH 18, 2206: CENTER OF TOWN NOW ‘BONAFIDE WARZONE’

UPDATE: HAMILTON, MARCH 18, 2247: TRUE WRECKERIANS TAKE OVER CITY HALL, DECLARE TOWN TO BE THEIRS

UPDATE: ROCKDALE, MARCH 19, 0016: CITY COUNCIL MEETING INTERRUPTED BY ARMED TRUE WRECKERIANS

Updates like this came through the teletype machines all night. The Wreckerians had come to the point of no return.

When the sun rose the next morning, it became known that John Adler had survived the assassination attempt, and was resting comfortably, albeit under very heavy security, at Halsted General Hospital. Nobody could get to him, and some people did try. They failed. It also became known that the gunman, Richard Hatfield, had indeed been a sympathizer for the True Wreckerians.

Hatfield, it turned out, underwent hours of gruelling interrogation, where he told as much as he could tell. He had been inspired by the True Wreckerians. He had attended True Wreckerian meetings, and had even heard Scott Stone saying “wouldn’t it be nice for us to get our obstacles out of the way.” He interpreted that to mean “get Adler.”

True Wreckerians denied they had wanted Adler dead, but they also felt the Wreckerian Government wanted them out of the way, and thus, it was time to defend themselves, no matter what it took. The seeds had been sown for fury.

Meanwhile, in a gymnasium on the outskirts of Halsted, several dozen football players and coaches watched the morning news, hoping for some good news. Any good news. There was none. It was possible that they would have to provide Wreckeria with that good news, maybe something that could unite this very torn-apart nation.

In Part 3: The sad story of Wreckeria’s World Cup 30 hopes 

[South Covello]

OOC: Main Nation Ministry, in collaboration with me, wrote the quotes from The Leader in this RP and should be given appropriate credit.

SoCo Goes Loco: A South Covello Soccer Podcast

Bozo Bryant: Hey hey, y'all, it's time for SoCo Goes Loco, the most amazing, funtastic South Covello soccer podcast ever. I'm Bozo Bryant.

Shawn Burst: I'm Shawn Burst.

Jason St. Pierre: I'm Jason St. Pierre.

Christina Archuleta: And I forget my name.... Does it have something to do with pumpkins?

Jason St. Pierre: You're Christina Archuleta.

Christina Archuleta: I am? Oh yeah, I am.

Bozo Bryant: So let's review the South Covello soccer game against Melbergia, which we won 1-0, but hold on, for the first time in the history of the show, we have a caller on our call-in number that we don't even publicize so how did this person get the number? Anyway, hey, whoever this is, you're live on the podcast.

The Leader: Hello my fellow podcasters? Are you planning on talking more drunkly on kumquats I'm guessing?

Shawn Burst: Who the hell is this?

The Leader: It is I, The Leader.

Christina Archuleta: Are you a kumquat? Isn't that some kind of cake?

The Leader: You know, you say the dumbest shit. Don't you recognize who's calling? It's me! The Leader of Main Nation Ministry! I see all of you soccer fans are listening in from South Covello. I also ask that you support our team, if you have the chance.

Bozo Bryant: Well, well, if it isn't the Lord Almighty Gregory wannabee. What's it like living in his shadow of evil? Has your army of Pervert Chasers dickapitated anyone for telling a lewd joke? Oh yeah, you don't have any Pervert Chasers. What about your army of Enemy Crushers? Have they crushed anyone today? Oh yeah, you don't have any Enemy Crushers. Have you executed anyone for saying "coconut" yet? Do you even own a Brownie Cutter of Death?

The Leader: Lord Almighty Gregory? I heard of him, however I don't know much about him ironically. I do know he started a nuclear holocaust with the same number of nuclear weapons that I have, but I can applaud him for his lack of empathy! I do have a habit of inflicting punishment of some lousy know-it-all jokers who think it's funny to crack a bad joke at the nation. But no I don't have an army of Enemy Crushers or a 'Brownie Cutter of Death', which I assume is a weapon to kill hundreds of people and make brownies at the same time. I recommend sending to the Ministry some blueprints of this Brownie Cutter, so we can make our own. Plus, I actually don't mind coconut.

Jason St. Pierre: Pish-posh, your lack of evil is hysterical. You will never be as evil as Lord Almighty Gregory was. You should just give up and stop trying.

The Leader: You don't have to be a dictator to be evil. I know a whole bunch of hypocrites who parade themselves as heroes, even though they done atrocities without rhyme or reason. I could follow into the footsteps of dear Gregory or I can have some of my agents find his body and revive him, if you want. Just remember, I have more technology and power than you think in Main Nation Ministry. So to my fellow soccer listeners who are still hearing this podcast, I recommend you cheer for my team in the Ministry, or I can make sure that there are two Brownie Cutters. Hm?

Bozo Bryant: Only two? Guess you're pretty lame. Bye now. Ladies and gentlemen, The Leader!

Christina Archuleta: I'm still confused. Were we talking to a goat sheep from the Equestrian States? They're called the Equestrian States because all the talking ponies are really goats and sheep who banned ponies from living and stole their immortal bodies, right?

Jason St. Pierre: No, no, no, no no, just no. But hey, The Leader, if you're listening, you may not be a goat sheep, but you certainly smell like one. Take that!

A security guard suddenly bursts into the podcast studio.

Security Guard: Does the name T.L. Eeder mean anything to any of you?

Shawn Burst: Uh-oh, spaghetti-O's.

Christina Archuleta: Spaghetti-O's? Where? I want some! Ooh boy, pasghetti o's!

Security Guard: Calm down, lady. Mr. "Eeder" has called a bomb threat into the studio and we need to evacuate.

Christina Archuleta: Bomb treat? Is it a cake?

Security Guard: Sure, ma'am, there's cake outside, go leave the studio and you can have some.

Christina runs out of the studio screaming for her "bomb treat" while the remaining hosts talk to the guard, their mics still live.

Bozo Bryant: Is this the actual The Leader or a wannabee wannabee?

Security Guard: Not sure, but given his history, we don't want to take any chances. You need to leave, now.

The other hosts file out in an orderly fashion to find Christina outside the studio on the lawn, still screaming for her "bomb treat."

[Delaclava]

WCQ, Day 3: Meyer the hero as Delaclava defeats South Charlia, revives campaign

Lukas Meyer scored four goals in his first two World Cup qualifying games, but they all came in losing efforts. He admitted his frustration to reporters in recent days, professing his hope that he'd "score a goal that matters" - and he finally got his wish.

Meyer scored on a nifty maneuver off an indirect free kick in the third minute of second-half added time, and Delaclava defeated South Charlia 2-1, in front of a standing-room-only crowd at Olympic Field in Catherina.

"It's a big relief to put points in the standings," said keeper George Ross, who had a stand-out performance with seven saves. "It doesn't matter the opponent - everyone is a danger and we needed to show that we could complete a good performance. We know eyes were on us heading into this one. Hopefully we restored some faith from the fans."

With starting center back Valentin Gusev still unfit to play, manager Tim Landers skipped past Chris Lang and opted to start Zane Davis instead. Davis in his own right looked strong and comfortable, but the Phoenixes also seemed to make a more concerted effort to be conservative and lock down the opposing offense.

"We want to get back to our attacking style, and we know we can make that happen," Landers said. "But against admittedly a weaker opponent, we needed to know that we could be just as strong in the back."

Still, the Phoenixes grew more comfortable throughout the first half, and their chance came when Meyer got the ball at the top corner of the box and penetrated along the end line looking for an opening. The backline sensed they were out of position and the left back knocked down Meyer before he could get off a pass or shot. The defender somewhat controversially escaped a red card, keeping both sides at 11 men.

"Lukas was in all alone," Landers said. "Without that knockdown, he shoots it himself or lays it off to Dashaun (Howard). I fail to see how that's not a deliberate foul on an OGSO."

Regardless of the punishment, Donato Girardi comfortably netted the resulting penalty kick to give the Phoenixes the 1-0 lead heading into the locker room. They came out aggressively for the second half, and Meyer, Girardi, and Dashaun Howard each had multiple shots that either barely missed the mark or were handled by the Charlian goalkeeper.

As the half wore on, Delaclava became less attack-oriented, and the nerves showed as they increasingly packed it in. Landers sent in Kelly Joseph as a second center back to replace Ryan Keating at midfield, hoping to insert some tactical protection, but South Charlia was notably still able to get more and more time with the ball.

"When you play to tie, you lose," Landers admitted, "and it seemed like we were basically looking to tie that second half. We need to remain as the team that initiates the action - not just to adequately protect leads, but to keep perfecting our tactics when we play better teams.

"There's still a lot for us to figure out. But it's better to learn and win than just learn."

South Charlia finally broke the stalemate when a miscommunication between Joseph and Josh Torres allowed the center forward to receive a leading pass in the box. The striker was at the six-yard line by the time Ross could even perceive what was happening, and he could only watch the ball go past him.

It was a critical moment for the Phoenixes. For a moment, it seemed that they had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, and they were not tactically or mentally prepared to mount a late offensive charge. But Landers kicked into action.

"Given where we were in the standings, a draw was going to be just as good as loss. So we needed to go for the win right then, and that couldn't have been more clear once it got taken from us."

Landers put in forwards Alexei Gusev and Declan Mullins to replace Joseph and Torres, and Delaclava took to the field with an unexpected 2-3-5 formation. It seemed that neither side was quite prepared for this sudden adjustment, but it was Delaclava who figured out their own offense first. Just a minute after they kicked off, the former Verceolan Mullins unleashed a shot that the Charlian keeper could only watch as it rattled the crossbar. Moments later, the same left back who had fouled Meyer earlier in the game was caught in frustration impeding Gusev off the ball. It set up an indirect free kick just inside the box.

It would appear difficult to figure out room to operate. But the Phoenixes got the job done. The usual free kick man, Dathan Ingram, faked and left the ball for Girardi, who punched the ball over the right as Meyer ran in from the top corner of the box. There was no one to stop Meyer now as he beat the keeper near side from eight yards out. It was Meyer's fifth and most important goal of the campaign.

"It was hardly a classic performance by us," Meyer admitted. "But I'm proud of the way we responded when we needed to act quickly."

Also of note: Mullins became the first Verceolan veteran to see action for the Delaclav squad, joining a relatively small list of players who have seen World Cup action for two nations. Mullins commented after the game, "This is what us older guys came in to do - give the team some options to work with. It was a huge benefit in this situation. And it's a great symbol of the new Delaclava that has united multiple independent nations under the same flag."

The Phoenixes were hoping to impress the local faithful in their qualifying home opener, as well as keep alive realistic chances of making the Finals. They and South Charlia each went in with 0-0-2 records, and the teams knew the importance of turning around their fortunes.

"It's a big group and only two teams can make it out," captain Keaton Durbridge said. "There's no way you can drop your first three games and expect to recover from that."

But instead of finding themselves dead in the water, Delaclava is in the thick of a qualification picture that, after only three games, has obviously yet to see any runaway squads.

"We have a few big games coming up," Meyer said. "If we're going to make something happen, the time is now."

The Phoenixes have little time to celebrate - they now head to Rogerton, Darmen to play the group's second seed at Kalenda Stadium. Darmen has won their first two qualifiers, including a confidence-boosting 4-3 road win over Jeruselem, and undoubtedly have the inside track on qualification. But the Phoenixes will be looking to wrest control from the All Greens and inject some chaos into Group 7.

"We just keep taking it one game at a time," manager Tim Landers said. "It's too soon to project narratives for the cup. But we have one game against a top team coming up. If we go out and make it happen in that moment, we can seriously disrupt the way the qualifying stage goes down."

Delaclava 2–1 South Charlia

DEL, Girardi (pen.) 43'. SCH, 404 (Not Found) 89'. DEL, Meyer (Girardi) 90+3'.

---

National team captain Durbridge signs to play in Farfadillis

Midfielder Keaton Durbridge has become the latest national team player to sign with a foreign team, inking a deal with the Farf club Dí Maozöxê.

"I'm very excited for this new adventure," the national team captain said at a press conference after Delaclava's 2-1 victory over South Charlia. "This is exactly the kind of opportunity that many of us hoped to find when we came together as a national team to take on the world, and I'm fortunate to be one of the guys who's gotten the chance."

Durbridge joins Rhydian Campbell (Taeshan), Pavel Cicak and Donato Girardi (Nephara), Valentin Gusev and Lukas Meyer (Savojarna), and recently dropped midfielder Kazuo Martin (Chromatika) among Delaclav players who are now signed to play domestic football abroad.

Durbridge was the last obvious star player of the squad who had yet to garner any interest in his talents, and as such, he figured to be the face of a revamped Delaclav league after the conclusion of the World Cup cycle. But in his words, "I'm looking forward to perhaps playing at home someday. For now, the way I can best help our program is to take on this new challenge and learn as much as I can, for the benefit of the national team and all the way down from there."

Farfadillis is currently the 16th-ranked association in the world, although notably with a league that has previously included only Farf players, the best of whom have become the defending World Cup champions and the second-ranked national team in the world. Farf football, both domestic and international, is noted for its overall fast pace and attacking play, which Durbridge sees as a natural fit: "That's the kind of style we're trying to implement here. I know I'll be able to contribute to that style in Farfadillis, and I know I'll have plenty to learn, ideas that I can bring back to the Delaclav squad."

The league has re-opened to foreign players for the upcoming season, and Durbridge will be one of a handful of players who will try to fit in with a previously all-Farf side. Durbridge is up to the task, however. "There's going to be a lot to adjust to - for me, for the other new players, for the old squad. I suspect most of the top teams in the league will have the same challenge. I think Dí Maozöxê will be a club that's able to figure it all out and have a successful season."

Dí Maozöxê is coming off a relative down year, finishing fifth and snagging their federation's last spot in the Champions Cup, the second-tier international competition of domestic clubs. But in the ten seasons prior, the team won two league titles and achieved nine top-three finishes, including in eight consecutive seasons. The streak was snapped in this most recent Season 34, where they still managed to post the league's best defense. They allowed a mere 24 goals in 21 matches, impressive for a league that saw an average of 4.4 total goals per game last season. Dí Maozöxê thus figures to continue on as perennial title contenders.

Durbridge hopes he can help his new team get over that line. Early reports indicate that Durbridge will be a starter on the squad, and Durbridge commented, "It's up to me to raise my game and be the best I can for the squad. Here with the Phoenixes, we always talk about 'next man up', and I fully expect the same policy in such a high-level league."

"I'm coming in to win titles, and I'm sure my new teammates will have that same mission."

[Astograth]

Previously

Turori 3-2 Astograth
Location: ???

Lineup: Anzizar, Martel, Leskerre, Doyenard, Lizarza, Lekea, Gurina, Berdesagar, Malkorra, Duarte, Urdanibia
Substitutions: E. Laurnagaray for Leskerre, Echeberz for Lekea, Ibargengoitia for Duarte
Goalscorers: Urdanibia, Duarte

---

Going into her fieldwork, one of the things Lazaga was most looking forward to was an in-depth look into the manager’s work. Of this, perhaps the two most secretive parts: what goes into selecting players, and what goes into researching opponents.

Lazaga was allowed to sit in on meetings and in Vaudrail’s office while he worked, and quickly discovered how heavily the manager was into video analysis for both his own players and his opponents’. In the weeks prior to the start of qualifying, he, Kiriano and their team of data analysts would spend whole days poring over recordings of league matches and Olibondeka’s last qualifying campaign – back for World Cup 83 – to narrow down their options. Some choices, such as right-back, were easy; there were two players clearly head and shoulders above everyone else. Others, such as the central attacking midfielders, proved agonising. Urbizania Wanderers’ Gero Sorrosua had just had a standout season, but had no international experience with the national team or at club level. Meanwhile, Azeari Duarte had been branded one of the best players in the league for several years, but wasn’t in the best form, and hadn’t gotten along all that well with Vaudrail at Royal Rumiatzi – and both of them were 30! Was it better to take them both, or to pick someone younger with an eye for the future, such as Iturributa United’s Gunutz Yriberry or Sporting Arkamo’s Gaston Urdingio? Hell, even Duarte’s backup at Royal Rumiatzi, Lon Dumon… but then, leaving out either Duarte or Sorrosua would be depriving themselves of a gifted player, and no doubt whip up a storm of criticism. A similar discussion was had regarding the forwards: was it wise to bring three rather than just two? Should they perhaps take a gamble on the likes of Antiguoko’s 22 year-old Karazatorre? They’d ultimately gone for the more conservative choices, though the arguments increasingly dragged into the night as the deadlines drew closer.

In Vaudrail’s office at the national team’s training complex, in the eastern Rumiatzi borough of Miotako, Lazaga had set up a small desk to sit and work at with her laptop while carrying out observations of the office’s daily routine. Vaudrail, at first not very interested in her or her research, had been unexpectedly welcoming to the suggestion and grown rather comfortable with soliciting her opinion – something she wasn’t sure was for the best. While preparing for the match with Turori, Vaudrail repeatedly screened their matches from the Eagles Cup on the office TV, leaving them on in the background while he worked and occasionally turning to watch.

“Landerra, look! Look at this!” he called out, pointing at the screen. The ticker read TUR 1-2 NPH. Daliora Toru’u played a pass to Mbdiai Akarenaa, advanced down the left, received a pass back, and fired a shot from the edge of the box that skimmed the crossbar. Vaudrail paused, rewound, and played it again. Then again. Then again.

“This is key,” he added, and resumed typing furiously on his computer.

“I’m sorry,” said Lazaga, “what is the takeaway from this?”

Vaudrail looked up, from behind the rim of his glasses. “You didn’t see it?”

“It… looked like a good shot?”

“The shot? No, no. I mean, yes. But look.” He stood and walked over to the TV, playing the scene again. He pointed to the right, toward the Nepharan box. “Look here, what Nephara is doing. They give Toru’u too much space, I think, but why did she shoot? Look how they blocked off the forwards! Cut off Aikiki and Mungwaii, very good. We must do this”.

Not knowing who Turori would field in the match was a constant headache for Vaudrail. They could intuit, based on the Eagles Cup, but Turori were notorious for drawing their matchday squad from a wide pool of players – including the infamous Cocoabo.

“We’re screwed if they use the Cocoabo,” Vaudrail would conclude bitterly during meetings. “The FAF should endorse the Holy Empire proposal”.

Likewise, it was a constant torment not knowing where in Turori they’d be playing. Other locations, such as Cathair, Fligsive and Rack City, had been extensively researched by specially dispatched scouts, such that they could lay out a careful plan as to the flight schedule, the ideal hotel and training ground, and optimise travel to and from these places, the airport and the stadium. The data analysts were also hard at work compiling information as to the weather, temperature, humidity and prevailing wind patterns. The Turori authorities, however, were late to disclose the site of their match, and Vaudrail deemed this an intentionally underhanded tactic. Partly in protest and partly due to fears that they might be hacking into his phone, he suspended his use of twii.tur until they’d finished playing them.

His obsession with the Turori match would lead Vaudrail to some dark places, spending long hours researching every possibility. This came to a head one afternoon when, during a re-watch of Turori vs. Valanora in his office, he turned to Lazaga.

“Landerra, I need your help with something”.

“Sure. What is it?”

“It’s a bit embarrassing, but something I’ve never understood – what the **** is Tropicorp?”

[Kelssek]

Excerpts from KBC 2 coverage
"...ahead of this match against Olastor."

"Well, when we last saw them, Kelssek were excellent in the win against Timuria, after a not so great performance in Audiasania. That was a really important win to really show that they can execute the gameplan against one of the better teams in the group. And of course, since they could well end up wrangling with Timuria for the qualification spot, it was important to get the win for its own sake."

"Okay, the lineup is out. It's gonna be Cathal Gallagher getting a chance in goal. He's been a bit out of favour since the last cycle, this is his first cap since before the Cup of Harmony, actually. Any thoughts on that?"

"Well, it's a shame that Kai Poirier won't get a chance to follow up that performance, but I can also see that you'd look at each player's form, and Gallagher's been doing well for Vlaikograd since the Timuria match, so it's certainly a valid decision."

"Thamior Liadon, Damien Halliger, Joseline Fourtin, and Ashley Douglass are the back four, and it's back to Ruslan Demetriev with Adrian Tremblay-Fillon in central midfield."

"Up front it's Colm Ó Tuathail and Gabriel Lapierre on the wings, Patrice Langelier and Seamus Wylten as a strike pairing. It's quite a bit of rotation in fact, "

"Keeping the powder dry it looks like. Langelier and Wylten, we saw them combine well together in the Independents Cup. With this sequence of fixtures it seems Andrea Crowe wants to make sure to rotate and keep things fresh. This is a packed qualifiers schedule and these players have club competitions too. We'll see if it pays off. And we see the teams walking out of the tunnel so let's go live to the stadium now for the anthems and kickoff..."

...

“And the final whistle blows on a match that burst into life in the final quarter-hour. Andrea Crowe and the coaching staff look pretty pleased with that, and, well, that was quite an emphatic result for Kelssek. Four-nil it finishes here... Kelssek win their fourth straight match in the World Cup qualifiers.”

OLASTOR – 0
KELSSEK – 4 | Lapierre (71’, 79’), Wylten (75’), Liadon (86’)
Kelssek: Gallagher, Liadon, Halliger, Fourtin, Douglass, Demetriev, Tremblay-Fillon (Greenwood 64’), Ó Tuathail (Dionne 57’), Lapierre, Langelier (Torshen 70’), Wylten.
Player of the match: Seamus Wylten

[Chromatika]

Chromatik City Courier
Jordan Lawless, Sports Columnist

Group 3 Matchday 3: Chromatika 0-1 Adyatin @ The United Center, Urrheddiao, Chromatika (Cap. 120,000; 28,000 Seats
Chromatik Scorers: None.
Starting XI (4-2-3-1): Williams; McBee - Anderson - Friedman - Austic; Anisov - Avis; Kelly (C) - Kuzami - Han; Vidal.
Substitutes: Armageddon -> Anisov ('48), de Aea -> Anderson ('55), Victoriane -> Kelly ('61)
Projected Starting XI @ (UR) The Jovannic (1-1-1): Ria; Xiao - de Aea - Will - Ilya; Armageddon - Dias; Victoriane - Mora - Dragana; Andisori.

URRHEDDIAO, CHROMATIKA-

When will the nightmare be over? That seems to be the question that many of the Chromatik faithful are asking after their latest gaffe, a one-nil defeat at the hands of Adyatin that places the Anomalies dead last in their group and seven points behind second place in the early going in Group 3 Qualifying.

Slavomir Hautarovich's goal in the third minute proved to be the decider as Serhiy Makhulin stopped all nine attempts on goal by a frantic Chromatik side that tried to eke out a point at home with a rabid crowd loudly cheering, their voice being hushed by every minute. By the end of the match, as stunned Chromatik supporters fled to the exits, one could hear a pin drop in the stadium.

To put things in perspective, here are other teams in the World Cup that share the same dubious 0-0-3 record:

Necosia (Pot 12.)
Balaslandia (Pot 12.)
Adsuri (Pot 12.)
South Charlia (Pot 11.)
Great Lausitz (Pot 10.)
Indusse (Pot 7.)
Olastor (Pot 8.)
Audiasania (Pot 11.)
Jerauuk (Pot 12.)
Drunk People at the Local Tavern (Pot 10.)
Shokpos (Pot 11.)
Qvardax (Pot 9.)

Chromatika is, obviously, the most egregious name on the list.

Evans and Everdeen's response was swift and immediate - all eleven of the regular Chromatik Starting XI will be playing in the match on the road against The Jovannic.

Here are a few key snippets from the post-match press conference from certain players and staff:

Konrad Evans, on the continuation of the slow start: "This time, I have to hand it to the Adyatin players. Some of Makhulin's saves were world-class, and they deserved the victory. The team seems to be in a funk, and it is up to us to energize them to get out of it before things really get out of hand. This nation has never had such a bad start in the Qualifiers, and even this bad stretch of luck has to run its course. It's not too late - but we do have to play with some urgency to right the ship in the next two matches before we play Eura."

Keira Andisori, on the lack of goalscoring (only two goals scored in the first three matches): "I don't know if it's prudent to just blame it on one factor. We are preparing the same, trying to play with the same intensity, but things seem to be falling just short at the most critical of junctures. Nobody is as frustrated about the current predicament of things as we are, and we promise that we are trying to rectify it as fast as we can."

Viktor Karras, Jr., the Chairman of the Chromatik Football Federation, on whether or not Evans & Everdeen are on the hot seat already: "The Qualifiers are still young. These are the longest Qualifiers that Chromatika have ever been a part of. Trust in the system, trust in the work that the players are putting in, and let us not give up on them yet. I have full faith in Evans and Everdeen and their staff. Go Chromatiks!"

---

The Golden Boys of Chromatik Football
Part 2: The Future of the Gender Divide

If it can be argued that the Chromatik National Team had its majority of players be women because men were being tasked with other things during the Chromatik Party's reign, than why does the data from the previous article show that World Cups 73 through World Cup 75 had the majority of players be men? It isn't until World Cup 78 that the team becomes female-dominant, with the trend continuing until the current World Cup. The answer, instead, can be found in the way that the Chromatik Party has been revealed to be: not only were they proponents of a twenty-one tier (really thirty) caste system, but they were also being sexist as well.

Documents from the Chromatik Party, now declassified, have shown that there was actually talk before the Rainbow Revolution to keep the team male-centered to show a "united front of strength and power as the youth of the Chromatik Party that is being tasked with showing the world of the Party's influence". Further works by Keri Wyse Aart and Niles Henderson, a Rainbow Revolution historian, have also shown that when the Rosters for the World Cups were chosen after the Rainbow Revolution, more emphasis was made by the Chromatik Football Federation to include women; it just also happened to be that most of the best footballers in Chromatika were female.

Just how much one could place the basis of selection from the Rainbow Revolution forward on political schemes can be debated to no end; any and all inquiries to the Chromatik Football Federation are met with the response that every potential player is viewed by their merit and skill only and not based upon their gender. However, one thing is for certain: World Cup 85 has shown that the pendulum can swing both ways, and it may indeed have ushered in an era where, with the roster being fifty-men strong and the footballing system continuing to be come more robust in development, Chromatika can indeed stay true to its promise of fielding the best team it can, regardless of the gender.

Hindsight will always be critical and not always be twenty-twenty; therefore, it's prudent that the Chromatik Football Federation and other parties involved make the best choice possible, not being swayed by any outside infleunce.

History will judge whether this is enacted correctly, as time and history remain the best impartial judges in the end, after all.

By: JoAnn Millens, Guest Political Columnist

[Geektopia]

Geektivities
*Be cool, be woke.
Reports done by Cuperton, who comes off as an asshat somehow even more so then Pentahectillion looked to be in '84

!! Special News Alert !!
The Greens stun Starblaydia for a famous win at Isleshore

From the first three matches, Geektopia didn't look to be eightieth place material. From an uncertain win in Baggieland, to a draw in Zeta Reka, and to put what would look like a stifly WC85 debut to bed with a loss to Osarius away, Dingledine was dangling by a thread in the managerial cockpit from a hole that had been torn out of the metaphoric plane from what looked to be incompetent playing style, and managerial swagger. The goalkeeper would have been better as an Aimenan third tier domestic player in those coming days.

The opposition players would come out with a sort of stifle to them, as if having lost two finals in a row would have even differed their gigantism and high-pressing attacking play. Geektopia would look to be the shorter-lived side from half-time, they held on for 34 minutes, but the ball ultimately dropped for Starblaydia's Sutter McCloud after a defensive gift by Barella, who looked as senile as a nonogenarian on his deathbed, ultimately repossessing the ball for Geektopia and then trying to start an offensive press, but getting crunched from the side by, well, the goalscorer who is Sutter McCloud.

After half-time, the goal was clear for the Greenheads: try to lose in a pragmatic manner by using time-wasting tactics from their possession of the ball. The Geektopian athletes, though, didn't follow their manager's advice and to his great success as well. A one-nil slipout would have caused the great slip of a managerial change, and the players cared enough for that solemn, hapless man to go against his biddings, although it wasn't with great success. In the seventy-eighth minute of playing time, Loui would think he had only just started an offensive maneuver by passing to Barella, but the clever and senile defender found a small crack in the defensive crunch of a four person line as GKTA were starting the press and ran up to goal line, but not by too much. The shot had gone in as hard as a post-wedded man's underarmour, and for the keeper, no one knew how the hell his clinical, match-saving self hadn't saved from 18 yards. For Cosmo Leopoldi, it had been a case of not expecting a shoot-on-sight mentality from the overwhelmed Greens.

Another defender would score after finding a gap in the same mannerism, this time it being the caring, inactive, and sedate chemical combination that would make up our starting defender, Loui. The man was a starting defender for a reason, t'was to start the attack. Geektopia hadn't had enough innovation to come up with a unique press every day, and had decided to keep using the 7-8-5-3-4-1-6-2 that they had been using since they were oh so certainly coming out of the Baggieland game unscathed. This would, to the committee, be the same attacking pass route that the Greens would keep until the second half of group stage fixture, so it was easy to find out an attack and thwart it. The Geeks had no idea how this psychology of keeping the same tactics and even posting information about them on the national football website wouldn't have been taken advantage of by Starblaydia (except for the fact that GKTA broke their tactical character at the beginning of the second half). Onto things though, Loui would find another gap through what Geektopian fans would apparently like to call the 'Starbies' defensive system and this time, he'd finish with one touch to spare in the penalty box. Leopoldi looked to get a hand on it to bounce over the bar but things unfortunately wouldn't seem to look that way. Loui's chip would be subtle and weak enough to not go over the crossie.

After the game, social media blew up more than ever before, and it had seemed football wasn't just blossoming in the nation, t'was spiralling so much out of control that even a malicious, unknowing two-year-old would have seen the eerily-placed popularity of the sport nationally and decided to nip that in the bud. Nevertheless, god be blessed, we actually came out with three points, and now the table is open for six spots to climb into second. Geektopia might just have a chance at qualifying this edition.

Goals: 35' (Sutter McCloud | Starblaydia), 78' (Barella | Geektopia), 88' (Loui | Geektopia)

Barella celebrating the equalizing goal besides his facially impaired teammate Loui

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 85

TRULY ON THEIR WAY
Euran Oceania Territories 0-1 New Lusitania
@ Flynn Arena, Fligsive (Att: 82, 549)

It was now straight onto a long away trip to the Euran Oceania Territories or EOT for short. Following the controversial Audioslavia match, it had been an interesting week to say the least. Following the match, it was noticed that several calendar issues were noted in terms of venue organisation, which had been dealt with before the last match. One of these is TJUN-ia which were supposed to play and shall do so in Porto despite originally being scheduled for Leiria, something which has been blamed on electronic issues. Television and radio were still preoccupied discussing refereeing by the time the next game came around.
Only the one change for New Lusitania as Cancela takes a cooling period following two yellows in two games, being replaced by Pedralva. For the home side, Ross in goal following his impressive regional tournament as Potts, Gerduns and Strong make up defence; Richards and Chadwick would be the entire midfield line as Conway, Fuller, Ramsay, Duffy and Le Tonnelier supplied the large five man defence of their 3-2-5. As the whistle blew and breeze passed, the match was underway. New Lusitania's game was similar to the one played against the Bulls, preventing any form of counter-attack and attempting to find gaps through a team, being modified due to the two opposites of the two sides. This meant more defensive policies were taken with Nevais essentially turning it into a 4-4-2 or 4-3-1-2. There were plenty of good chances around in the first half as New Lusitania had quite a few shots on target, of which Fernando's shot is one to point out from the group. On the other end, Le Tonnelier managed a good, curved ball which was just about saved by the goalkeeper. Following halftime, the game restarted in its goalless score. Horta had been found outside after a good run which had been a shame for the away team as the run would have put him one on one. They would have to wait a longer than that to actually see the searched for goal - seventy-two minutes of play had passed when Gama crossed the ball into the box connecting with Silveira's head to put it in. Towards the end of the game, there were still a few dangerous opportunities, namely Duffy's post hit on eighty-five minutes. The goal however would stand to mark New Lusitania's first win in the Qualifiers this cycle, an extremely important win for the Selecção. The players seem pleased with the result and Victor Santa Cruz, national coach, said that "it was pleasing to see us win, especially in a way where we played good football against a good team". As the players return home, the pressure is slightly off following the first win, but the road is still long and there's plenty of work to do.
FULL TIME: 0-1



Around the Grounds
New Lusitania had been bumped up to sixth with four points, two behind qualification as the EOT were down in tenth. Audioslavia remained isolated following a comfortable 2-0 win at home to Necosia making it three from three with Turori moving up to second with a 1-3 win at Muradil, with a game in hand over the Bulls. Sajnur's draw to Villablanca meant both teams could stay joint third, the former ahead on goal difference with the latter having also sharing position with Porticalia which had a good start to their campaign, managing their first win against TJUN-ia (1-0). Jeckland's draw to Natanians and Nosts didn't make either's job easier despite the good match for the neutral as "N&N" are ninth with three draws and Jeckland twelfth with a game in hand. Tonight it was Astograth taking the week off meaning they slip to eighth temporarily. As the weather becomes slightly less hot, New Lusitania return home for a Lusophone derby against Porticalia. The stage is set and where better than the birthplace of the nation in Guimarães where the large crowds of the Conquistador will hope to make it a great match.



THE HUB
Goals: Jota (1), Silveira (1)
Assists: Mário (1), Gama (1)
Bookings: Cancela (2Y)
Injuries: -
Next Match: New Lusitania X Porticalia
@Estádio do Conquistador, Guimarães

MMXX

[Kohnhead]

Kohnhead Suffers Close Loss

Heading into the game against Kita-Hinode the number 10 team in the world Erin Maltos felt pressured. She hadn't played particularly well in the team's good start and was goaless through the first two games. For most players that's not a slump but for a player of her caliber it was bad. Also given the fact that Kohnhead had scored 6 goals through 2 games and she hadn't scored a single one of them was not the best. This game put even more pressure on her as she put on the captain's armband due to Aaron Korkson being suspended one game due to his role in a fight against Donnacona. Many questioned Maltos' leadership heading into such a difficult game with many feeling the armband should have gone to the 34 year old Newcastle.

While the final scoreline of 1-0 suggests a close hard fought loss the reality was the offense led by Maltos couldn't muster anything without Aaron Korkson, as Audrey Henderson struggled in place of Ida Cogginter. The defense while only allowing one goal to The Poltergheists, didn't play too good and got lucky numerous times but allowing one goal to the number 10 team in the World is extremely good. I just wonder had Korkson been there would the game have been different. Maltos in particular looked upset at the end of the game as she missed a potential game tying header in the 89th with a one on one against Namezono.

While the game could have and probably should have been a lot worse Kohnhead should not feel poorly about how they played against a very good squad. The only blemish in the game being the goal allowed in the 63rd minute to Iori Saitou the number 10 for the opposing side. In group 2 Kohnhead sit tied for 6th with Lochario and considering The Brains are a pot 9 team this is a good start. Kohnhead has a bye in the next matchday before a home game against 11th place EGM in what hopes to be a win for Kohnhead.

-Lillian Barter

[Valladares]

THE METROPOLIS HERALD
Metropolis, Tuesday, May 26^th, 2020

HOME | IN THE CAPITAL | DOMESTIC | RUSHMORE | INTERNATIONAL | ECONOMICS | SPORT | WORLD CUP 85 | TODAY'S LIFE

Valladares take off with maiden win in World Cup Qualifying

ADSURI (VAP) — The Valladar national football team picked up their first three points in Group 5 of the qualifying stage for World Cup 85 with a narrow 3-2 win against the group's twelfth seed, Adsuri. While it was far from being a spectacular match played by La Nacional, the team's defense showed noticeable improvement from the previous performances against Mkabia and Squornshelous, which along with their usual oiled offense, allowed the side coached by Paulo Oliveira to earn their first win of the cycle.

The match started with a Valladar side quickly claiming ball possession and trying to open up holes through the flanks of the host side with wingers Wilfried Baume and Aymeric Fortin, and exerting a high pressure on Adsuri's players when losing the ball. This high-tempo game proposed by Valladares would, as happened in the previous matches against Mkabia and Squornshelous, allow for an early breakthrough, with Marinos striker Fortin recovering the ball from a rival right-back and trying his luck with a mid-range shot that went into the back of the net after 18 minutes to put La Nacional ahead. After this goal, Adsuri tried to mount a timid reaction with a couple of shots that were deflected by Paulo Gaviria, but the Valladars regained control of the midfield with the pair of Leonardo Rojas and Cristian O'Brien and kept pushing for another goal to increase their lead, which eventually came five minutes before halftime with Alexandre being fouled in the Adsurian box and Wilfried Baume turning that penalty into Valladares' second goal of the day, to end the first half with a 2-0 lead.

The second half saw a more vigorous reaction from the home team, who managed to pull one goal back after 9 minutes and started enclosing the Valladar side in their own half of the field. However, Paulo Oliveira was not willing to let his team be cornered by their rivals and sent RGS Athletic striker Aiden Pearson to the pitch in order to reactivate and give more dynamism to the Valladar attack through the middle of the field. Meanwhile, Bryan Castillo made his appearance into the field in the 72nd minute to keep the increasing Adsurian attacks through the right flank at bay, and Mateo Padilla replaced an exhausted Arley Barrios in the 79th minute in order to refresh the Valladar attack. The last two goals of the match were scored in the final 10 minutes, with Padilla assisting Aiden Pearson with an exquisite pass for the Eastfield Lodge-based player to restore the 2-goal gap with 8 minutes to go, while Adsuri would hit back four minutes later in their last real chance in the match.

With this important win on the road, La Nacional have managed to jump to fifth place in Group 5 with 5 points, behind the group's top four seeds: Baker Park, Zwangzug, The Macabees, and Darkmania, and will be looking forward to confirm their takeoff in their next match against Greater Vakolicci and Celeria in what will be the return of the national team to the city of Campo Grande, an event highly anticipated by the fans living in the city and nearby areas who already bought all of the 58,000 tickets that were available.

Adsuri 2-3 Valladares
(unknown scorers 52', 86'; Fortin 18', Baume 40' (pen.), Pearson 82')

Starting XI: Gaviria - Pedretti, Delgado, Rueda - Rojas, O'Brien, Mickel, Barrios - Baume, Alexandre, Fortin
Yellow Cards: Rojas 70'
Subbed Out: Alexandre 54', Rojas 72', Barrios 79'
Subbed In: Pearson 54', Castillo 72', Padilla 79'
Unused Subs: Dussan, Marrugo, Matheus, Waldo, Malicki, Lachlant, Núñez, Benezet, Cross
Manager: Paulo Oliveira

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[Kita-Hinode]

It wasn't a surprise to Canvas, once she dropped her shoes on the wooden floor of Hinode's house, that the owner of the house had to make the question. "You're an alien princess, then?" The green-skinned girl nodded but didn't seem too happy over that, explaining it with her following comment of "Yes, but I'm not a direct successor. My parents didn't deem me worthy of it..." Hinode took off his jacket, sitting in the living room's comfy couch, still curious. "Still, you're a princess, right? Shouldn't you be at some fancy hotel under diplomatic reasons and all?" Canvas shook her head as she lowered the bags containing her school clothes. "I'm of royal blood but I'll never take the throne. By all accounts, I'm more of a target than anything else. Someone might try to kidnap me to leverage a deal with my father and that's why I left them. I'd rather be a peasant than give trouble to my family and the kingdom I'm from."

Hinode smirked, causing Canvas to tilt her head somewhat. He grinned. "Oh, believe me, miss. Nobody is going to kidnap you." He hit the air three times from his seat using his left fist. Canvas giggled, patting his head. "You're going to protect me from evil people, then?" He nodded, confident. The alien sighed, shaking her head. "And what if they do something to you, Hinode?" A nonchalant nod followed as the boy adjusted the jacket he already took off, folding it into a smaller piece, replying with "Then I feel sorry for the fool who dares square off against my mother. Even far away, I feel like she'd show up in a millisecond if needed. Anyhow, maybe we should focus on having lunch now?"

(...)

A white, round and cramped ship flew through space. "Am I right in my assessment then, sir?" The voice came from a girl inside that. Wearing some sort of blue skinsuit with white armour that was there mostly to protect her shoulder and stomach, she looked at the window that showed to her space. It wasn't her first trip through the galaxies but she sure was amazed at the sights every time she saw them. Her superior replied with a positive message. "Then, our target is in Earth? That... sounds very fun."

(...)

"Thanks for handling lunch, Canvas." He said from the couch, observing her. "I mean... I did handle lunch and dinner yesterday..." Canvas turned around, wearing an apron over her usual clothes (the ones she got from him, of course) with the words 'Hug the Chef' and holding a pan with plenty of vegetables already cooking on oil. "It's fine. We should always share duties, right? Besides..." She grinned. "I'm actually good in cooking, might as well make something out of that, huh?"

Hinode chuckled as the alien girl laughed. Like usual, the kitten leaped over to his lap, nuzzling against his stomach which he answered with a lot of petting but soon enough, Canvas got close to him once she was done cooking... and, to the surprise of nobody, the kitten started to hiss again, rubbing her horns against his shirt. His reaction was a stern look towards the kitty. Her beady eyes came in contact with his and what followed was silence. She lowered, nuzzling again before falling asleep. He sighed, patting her head while she snored. Canvas observed the entire scene with a small smile. "Remember to wash your hands once you're done petting her, yeah?"

The boy showed his tongue, cocky. "Yeah, mom." Canvas crossed her arms, grumbling.

[Turori]

Delayed Start OK for Eels Squad

Eels Park, Eelandii, Turori :: 180 nations competed on the opening matchday of World Cup 85 Qualifying, kicking off their extremely long journey with hopes of finishing that journey in Farfadillis and Mriin, home of the World Cup 85 Finals. However, there were 195 nations looking to join the two Atlantian Oceania based host nations and one of the fifteen nations that did not have a fixture on the opening matchday was the Turori National Team. Instead, the Eels got the chance to watch live as their own matchday 2 opposition Astograth opened up their qualification campaign against Necosia. The match ended up being a comfortable 3-0 victory for the Olives who got goals from Azeari Duarte, Gaitzka Gurina and substitute Beltza Urkizo to open up the campaign in just the fashion the fans at a packed Grand Duke's Stadium asked for. The day was especially memorable for Gurina and Urkizo who were each making their World Cup Qualifying debut and capped it off with their first career international goals.

Things would not be so easy for Astograth however as they travelled to Turori to contest the Eel's campaign opener at Eel's Park in Eelandii - the purpose built sportropolis midway between Turori's two largest cities Almintora and Cednia. While Turori would ultimately win the day it was much more of a battle then they might have been expecting in their home opener. Astograth arrived for the match well prepared and the scoreline was tied 1-1 at the halfway mark. Turori would take control of the match in the second half opening up to a 3-1 lead before Astograth got a late consolation goal from Azeari Duarte to keep the match close.

 Turori [3] - [2] Astograth
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 28' Meldi'ita Mungwaii:: 46' Tarek Edgeli:: 68' Mirana Gotuai            		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 56%:: Shots: 10:: Corners: 9	Astograth 	:: Possession: 44%:: Shots: 4:: Corners: 3
	Lineup:	[GK] Timaala Hualtia, [D.] Mikki Mayelli, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.]  Moumouni Verre'elali, [ML]  Daliora Toru'u, [MC] Kentu Umaka'a, [MC]  Lati'ala Giaoka, [MR]  Mbdiai Akarenaa, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii			
	Bench:	[FC] Mirana Gotuai, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [M] Timi'sala Koarena, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ] Amakli Inuro'o, [D] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [GK] Wiyauw An'maude

 Turori [3] - [1] Muradil
				
	GOALS:	Turori 	:: 15' Amakli Inuro'o:: 16' Nua'oma Aikiki:: 54' Nubara Moafalia            		
	STATS:	Turori 	:: Possession: 60%:: Shots: 10:: Corners: 10	Muradil 	:: Possession: 40%:: Shots: 5:: Corners: 5
	Lineup:	[GK] Wiyauw An'maude, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [D.] Biliki Rona'atu'i, [D.]  Lulu Pumaziiri, [ML]  Kentu Umaka'a, [MC] Daliora Toru'u, [MC]  Nubara Moafalia, [MR]  Timi'sala Koarena, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Nua'oma Aikiki			
	Bench:	[FC] Mirana Gotuai, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [M] Mbdiai Akarenaa, [M] Kiidallen Aeroluzzi, [U ] Mikki Mayelli, [D] Moumouni Verre'elali, [GK] Timaala Hualtia

While the result was closer than Turori would have liked, and they conceded more goals than they would have liked, it was a long qualification campaign that would be stretched over a record 26 days of competition. The primary focus for the Turori National Team would be to accumulate three points - in every match - at all costs. Red cards, suspensions, injuries - all overcomable. Three points lost can't be regained. Despite having some of the largest groups in World Cup Qualification history just two teams per group would advance. While Turori are favored in Group 1 there are plenty of challengers ready to pounce should the Eels slip up.

One of those notable foes is none other than Audioslavia. If Turori's National Team is going to keep the dream alive in the quest for their first ever World Cup title, they will first have to overcome a different seemingly impossible obstacle standing in their path. In Eight Previous meetings between Turori and Audioslavia, Turori's National Team has never been victorious. In Fact, the Turori National Team have never even SCORED A GOAL against Audioslavia in the World Cup or World Cup Qualifiers. Of course, there was one common denominator for All of those Turorian sides across the World Cup, Eagles Cup, Cup of Harmony and invitational tournaments: Citizens. Each of the defeated Turorian sides were comprised of teams consisting majorly of citizen players pulled from clubs in the Vilitan league system. Now, for the first time ever Turori would play Audioslavia in the World Cup Qualifiers. While it is wholly expected that Turori's National Citizen Squad will represent Turori in the World Cup Finals should they get there, they have made no secret that the Cocoabo Squad is in full training to be called upon when needed to fill in the gaps during the marathon qualification cycle. Could the citizen squads abysmal past performance against Audioslavia be the decisive data point in forcing the Football Association of Turori to call the best of the Cocoabo Forest into action at the World Cup Finals? President Mumau Atla-Siioai had no comment when asked, not looking to give the regional foes any extra time to prepare for whatever the Turorians might have up their sleeve in an attempt to break one of the longest running winless streaks in all of World Cup Committee sanctioned history.

[Vdara]

One in Four

The atmosphere in the away dressing room was tense. On the way to the Estadio Verde, a car nearly had a head on collision with the team bus, which the driver had to swerve to avoid. However, in swerving, he hit a lamppost and caused it to fall onto the bus itself. Luckily nobody was injured in any way, but everybody was shaken. But, at the end of the day, you just have to get on with it. And that’s exactly what Vdara would do.

“Right lads,” began Væñøœrëñbérghüïś, “I get that some of you will be nervous due to the skill of our opponent, and I get that some of you will be doubley nervous after the event that happened on our way here. I can’t exactly tell you to just shake off mental trauma, but I can tell you to try and calm your nerves a bit, y’know? HUElavia are a team like any other, granted we’ve only had 1 win in 3 against other teams but... agh. Do your best out there, and please, please, please don’t embarrass us. It’s all I can ask for, really.”

This didn’t calm the players’ nerves in any way, and probably had the opposite effect. However, the nerves were amplified due to the continued absence of Giannakos, who is still suspended for one more game, leaving Galanatos to take over.

The match report is as follows:
1: And the game begins here at the Estadio Verde! HUElavia 0-0 Vdara, but you knew that already.
4: HUElavia are already through on goal, they’re very much through on goal, Galanatos slips, he allows Hamada a chance against Moustakakos and... she takes that chance very well! HUElavia in front after 4 minutes! Væñøœrëñbérghüïś has his head in his hands!
7: Vdara are passing it round in their own half of the pitch, keeping the risk of conceding low. The ball comes to Xeniadis, who kicks it right up the pitch. Karalas heads it on to Fotellis... who lets the ball trundle away into the hands of Lobato.
8: Lobato clears the ball from that attack, and HUElavia might be starting their own attack here! Rossi has the ball, he puts it to Navarro, who flicks it up for a volley... and it’s in off the crossbar! What a good attacking move, and what a fantastic finish from Marc Navarro! HUElavia could be running away with this match!
10: They can’t be through on goal again, surely not, Cristiano is making a fantastic run, he’s turned Galanatos, he’s done a roulette, he’s made Moustakakos go to ground with a fake shot and... puts it in with a lovely rabona shot! That was sublime! Vdaran fans will be absolutely furious, but Cristiano runs over to the crowd to take a bow, and rightly so! 3-0 to HUElavia!
14: Any chance of a Vdaran attack has been repeatedly snaffled by the HUElavian defence, they’re just too good for the opposition!
17: What is Fotellis doing? He got the ball in the middle of the park, and he’s decided to take a shot! Of course, it’s gone out for a goal kick, but that’s an odd move from the veteran striker!
20: Mavroglou is showing off his skills in the middle of the park here, he’s got wonderful footwork, he truly has! However, footwork doesn’t win games, and he’s dispossessed by Ramirez.
26: It’s a yellow card for Kimon Karalas, following a bad challenge on Rossi.
32: It’s a free kick for Vdara! No cards drawn from the referee, but has Coelho given Vdara a route back into this game? Vlahiades is up to take the kick. Vlahiades takes a few steps back, he runs up to the ball and hits it... off the crossbar! HUElavia remains 3 goals up as of now.
35: Now, this looks like a great chance for the HUElavians. Galanatos put it out for a corner, and there’s plenty of good players in that box. Ramirez takes the corner... and Hamada hits an overhead kick into the back of the net! It’s game, set, and match at only 35 minutes in! 4-0!
39: They can’t be through again, can they? And... they absolutely can! Hamada earns her hat trick, and rightfully so! A chip shot right over Moustakakos puts another nail in the coffin! 5-0, what a game we’re seeing here!
44: Oh god, it’s about to go from bad to worse for Vdara as Ramirez puts it forward to Cristiano, who does some lovely skills to get past Pardakis, flicks it upwards... and that’s a wonderful way to wrap up the first half! A lovely scorpion kick from Cristiano Aviero-Lima! Væñøœrëñbérghüïś looks more than angry over on the touch line, his face is red with anger and steam is practically coming out of his ears!
45: And that brings an end to a horrifying first half for Vdara! They have been well and truly demolished by HUElavia in this first half, and there’s no way to come back from 6-0 down!

There was silence in the dressing room. No anger, no sadness, no nothing. That is, until Væñøœrëñbérghüïś began to speak, his face turning redder by the second.

“Lads. Lads. LADS. I specifically f**king told you not to embarrass us and what do you f**kers do? Oh, I don’t know, f**king go 6-fucking-nil down in the first fucking half! We’ve been made a mockery out of, a big f**king mockery! Is that what you think we are? A f**king mockery? Because we’re not! We’re not a f**king mockery, we are Vdara! We are a spirited team who has dreams and shit, but it doesn’t f**king feel like that right now, does it? You guys have given me the worst f**king headache I’ll ever f**king have in my whole entire f**king life, and I’m not even the one playing! Jesus, man. Jesus. Fucking hell. How could none of you f**kers stop Cristiano or Hamada? How f**king not? There were so many easy f**king opportunities, and you let them hammer more and more nails into our coffin as the game went on! Right, fuck your nerves. I want you all to get the f**k onto that pitch and show some semblance of a comeback! If you score any less than one, I’ll f**king throttle you all, you hear? You f**king hear? DO YOU F**KING HEAR AND UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU, HUH? Good, good. Agh, damn it all to f**k!”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś had reached a high anger level, one even higher than after the 2-0 loss to Lo Sontano. Something was about to be broken, and the players braced for it to be one of them. However, the first thing he saw was a wooden chair, which he promptly picked up and hurled at the wall, shattering it into splinters. He then walked up to the wall where the chair hit and began kicking the wall and head butting it over and over again. After about 2 minutes of this hissy fit going on, he turned around to face the players, still angry as ever.

”See that chair? That could be one of you f**kers next, you hear me? Now, get the f**k onto that pitch and give the nation some semblance of f**king happiness!”

The threat of violence might have had a positive effect on the players, somehow. They seemed fired up. They seemed ready for action. They seemed... hungry. Hungry for goals. Hungry for revenge.

46: And Vdara get the second half started here at the Estadio Verde, and they start it 6 goals down! What can they do to recover, if they even can?
50: Cristiano is through on goal here, can he add to his impressive tally? He... can’t. Galanatos dispossessed him, and it appears that Vdara are going on the counter! Galanatos puts it to Stamatelis, who flicks it up and lobs it to Lazelis, who... scores for Vdara! It’s HUElavia 6, Vdara 1! Vdara just want to get this game started again, no celebrations from any of the players, especially Lazelis!
54: And... ouch, that’s an awful tackle from Stamatelis on Ramirez, what was he doing? He’s lucky that it was a yellow card, otherwise he could’ve been gone for the next two matches!
57: Lazelis has taken the ball from Ramirez in the middle of the pitch. He’s going on a great run, he’s left Hierro for dead, he’s left Toni for dead, and... he’s added to his and Vdara’s goal tally! HUElavia are still 4 goals ahead of Vdara, but that has got their spirits up!
63: Fotellis has been brought down outside the box for a free kick! Coelho will be getting a yellow for that one, and Vlahiades will be determined not to miss another!
64: Vlahiades is lining up for the free kick, he’s 20 yards out... and he’s scored! The ball deflected off of Hierro in the wall, and the free kick that was originally going right ended up in the left side of the goal! It’s 6-3!
70: HUElavia are pushing forward for the illustrious 7th goal to add to their tally, and the ball’s with Ramirez, who passes it to Gallego, who... is easily dispossessed by Athanas.
71: Athanas is going to try and hit HUElavia on the counter here, and rightfully so, he’s got the pace and the space! Athanas is well past the midfielders, he’s avoided Amaru’s tackle... and he puts a lovely chip shot over the head of José Antonio Lobato! 6-4, what a game we have tonight!
75: Mavroglou has the ball in the middle of the park, he puts it though to Fotellis, who puts it into the back of the net! 6–5! Wait, it’s been called offside, and incorrectly too! The score remains 6-4, and Vdara has not in fact got the 5th goal they rightly deserved!
78: Oooh, risky from Moustakakos, nearly putting it into the back of his own net!
80: With 10 minutes to go, HUElavia remain 2 goals ahead of Vdara. Is there really any chance of a comeback, even after the 4 goals they’ve scored? Well, Fotellis might be about to keep the chance alive... and he hasn’t. It’s a rubbish shot, and it’s a goal kick.
83: Vdara have played really well in this second half, it’s a shame we didn’t see this side in their first half, where they looked like a group of headless chickens. Shame, really.
90: And it’s all over! The referee blows for full time, and HUElavia cling onto the game by the skin of their teeth! HUElavia 6, Vdara 4!

As the teams walked back to the dressing rooms, a smile could be seen on Væñøœrëñbérghüïś’ face. Considering that his team had lost, nobody knew why.

“Now, why couldn’t you f**kwits have done that in the first half, eh? I’m flabbergasted that you even managed to get 2 back, but f**king 4? Jesus, if we had defended better in the first we could’ve won that game! But, as I say, you can’t change the past. Leave the past in the, well, past. We can only move forward. I know we’ve had an awful run of form as of late, but next game could be our chance to show the world that we aren’t just a team of nobodies. If you didn’t already know by now, our next game is against the best team in the group, Equestria. Now, we’ll be lucky if we get a draw against them, but I would love it if we could beat them, love it! Don’t worry, I won’t be breaking any chairs if we don’t beat them, but it would be f**king fantastic if we could beat the best team in the group in front of our own crowd, y’know? Good. Now, let’s get this show on the road, it’s time to get back to Vdara!”

On the bus trip home, Væñøœrëñbérghüïś had a theory. The angrier he gets at his players, the better they play. Now, this may have been a fluke or a one of a kind thing, but it was another thought for him to dwell upon. After all, he needed to try and knock Equestria off their perch to get the team back to winning ways, unless he really wanted to only have 1 win in 5 games. Thoughts began rushing through Væñøœrëñbérghüïś’ head. Thoughts like:

”Does screaming at them really make them fired up to play?”

“Why did I have to throw a chair at the wall and get really angry for them to finally take the game seriously?”

“Will I have macaroni cheese or a shitey salad when I finally get home?”

After pondering these thoughts for a while, he finally came to a conclusion.

”Macaroni cheese, for definite.”

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

West Squornshelan Lives?
Or, I Really Need a Better Title for this Series
Salwan Mynhier

Today we'll take a look at the career of another Damogran FC product, striker Franz Persson. Active roughly from cycles 22 to 26, Persson was not the first Squornshelan to play his club football abroad (that honor went to Alexander Popov, who left Vogsphere United to join Bezrukova Turquoises of Melmond between cycles 21 and 22), but he was the first player from West Squornshelous to do so, joining Casuals New Osteria of Krytenia. The club still plays today under the simplified name of Casuals Osteria, the city being not quite so new as it was back then.

Persson first came on the scene as a promising but raw young striker for Damogran's youth team. He cuts a somewhat comical figure in the earliest photos, his lanky frame seemingly elongated by the vertical black and white stripes of Damogran's classic kit. He was brought up to the senior squad at just 17 years of age, and at 18, was named to the World Cup roster for the first time. He was a long way from first team minutes during World Cup 22 qualifying, and definitely showed his inexperience, playing with a bit more optimism, to use a diplomatic term, than most managers would prefer. Such a flaw was always a forgivable one on those attacking-minded Imperial teams though, and Persson was invited back for World Cup 23, where he continued inching his way up the depth chart.

It would be at World Cup 24 that Persson really came into his own. Now 26, and part of a historically dominant Damogran team, he was the natural first choice at striker. Qualifying was a much rougher ride than anticipated for him though. Things got off to a decent start despite slow going in the attack. Persson recorded the only goal in matchday 2's showdown with Trianland, but then went cold. Following the fifth matchday he was benched, and was not called up for the second half of qualifying. It was quite the shocking turn of events, but Persson chose to turn adversity into motivation. Focusing on practice and club ball, he delivered a domestic season that was head and shoulders above any other striker in the league. Manager Ricardo Colon really had no choice but to bring him back for the cup proper in Druida and Krytenia.

Persson and company found themselves in the Krytenian half of the draw, in Group H along with their hosts, Spruitland, and Five Civilized Nations. I know what you're thinking, that's eight teams in one group, how's that possible? I need to clarify here that Five Civilized Nations was in fact, one nation, though whether they were in fact civilized or not I can't say, I've never been there. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they were.

Persson proved he was every bit the player he'd been hyped as at the beginning of qualifying, scoring in every match the Red-and-Black played, beginning with a tense opening draw against Krytenia. He was the sole goalscorer against Spruitland, and struck again to help secure his team a spot in the second round against FCN. Unfortunately, the team finished just behind Krytenia on goal differential and was set to face Bedistan in the second round. Those who read last time's profile on Dmitriy Ulanich will remember how that turned out. An early lead supplied by Persson and Mostafa Ogbadan was squandered, and the Squornshelans were packing their bags.

In the aftermath of the World Cup, Damogran was approached by Casuals, who had apparently been impressed by his performance. A transfer was agreed upon, and Persson was headed to Krytenia. Along with the retirement of Dmitriy Ulanich a year later, this transfer marked the end of an era for Damogran, though they would be back on top soon enough. Persson went on to a respectable, if not spectacular career in Krytenia. Casuals weren't league contenders at the time, but were usually among the better teams of the mid-table pack.

The international acclaim and recognition that accompanied the move led to Persson being tapped as a spokesman in an add campaign in the lead-up to World Cup 25 qualifying. As a promotional stunt, the Yumbo Jumob gum company of Andossa se Mitrin Vega announced promotional flavors for each and every team participation in qualifying. Persson, an established star still close to his prime, and one of two Squornshelans playing abroad at the time was likely the most recognizable Squornshelan player both within the Imperium, and across the multiverse, and was the obvious choice to advertise the product. (the flavor assigned to Squornshelous was Cherry Limeade, which sounds pretty ok to me. One commentator deemed the pairing appropriate as "a crazy flavor for a crazy nation." I tend to agree.)

Gum advertising aside, World Cup 25 qualifying saw one of the most bizarre episodes in sporting history. Squornshelous were drawn into Group 7 as the top seed, having just barely hung onto a spot in pot one after the disappointing results of the previous few cycles. One the first matchday, they hosted Swilatia, who were chased off the pitch in a 3-0 rout, with Persson supplying one of the goals for the hosts. The following day, a shocking announcement came from the World Cup Committee. Due to a clerical oversight, the application to join the qualifying tournament from Total n Utter Insanity had been misplaced, and they had been wrongly excluded from the qualifying draw in favor of last-minute signup Collonie. With the whole cycle hoisted upon the horns of a horrendous dilemma, the impossible decision was somehow made. Qualifying groups were redrawn to include the Insanicans, and the matches that had been played were erased. Thus it was thousands of players, Franz Persson among them, played and scored in qualifying matches that officially never actually took place.

In the new draw the 11th ranked Pschychoes (sic) found themselves bumped just out of pot 1. They now had the prospect of facing off with Group two, which included 5th-ranked Rejistania and 21st-ranked Svecia (who likewise had slid from pot 2 to pot 3). The rest of the group was filled with names many fans even today will still recognize: The Lowland Clans (ranked 40th at the time), The Archregimancy (54th), two time champions Brazillico (82nd), and The Macabees (152nd). Far from being derailed by the erasure of a good win, and their placement in a much tougher group, the Red-and-Black started qualifying at a torrid place, going undefeated through their first 13 matches. Of those thirteen matches, twelve were wins, including a pair of clean sheet victories over group favorites, Rejistania. During that stretch, the team scored 25 goals while allowing only 4. The final five matches were something of a reversion to the mean, with a draw against Brazillico, and losses to The Lowland Clans and Svecia. They had done enough though, to top the group, five points clear of second place Rejistania. Persson was a dominant force through the whole duration of qualifying scoring crucial goals to secure wins against Rejistania and the Lowland Clans, and salting a few more away in other matches as well.

The Group Stage draw was nearly an exact repeat of WC24. Persson and the Red-and-Black once again met with Spruitland and Five Civilized Nations, Krytenia was replaced by Cockbill Street. Squornshelous opened up with a victory over the Wabbits of Spruitland, whose nickname was nearly as absurd as their own. A pair of one-all draws against Cockbill Street and Five Civilized Nations saw the Pschychoes advancing in second place. Persson, for his part, scored the lone goal against a tight Cockbill Street defense, though he looked less impressive in the other matches. In the second round, the Bedistan Lions awaited once again. In another strange turn of events (World Cup 25 was just kind of odd) match reports from the media of both nations were lost to technical issues, and no record survives of who scored the three goals each team recorded. Neither can we be certain which players successfully converted their penalties in the shootout, though it seems safe to assume that Persson scored one of Squornshelous's five. In any case, though it took the dreaded shootout to decide the match, the Red-and-Black were headed to the quarterfinals. Awaiting them were the Terminators of Liverpool England This was the mid-twenties after all, and you weren't going to get far in the Cup those days without beating some combination of Bedistan, Liverpool England, Starblaydia, and Rejistania. (in fact, in order to hoist the trophy, the Red-and-Black would have had to beat all four of those teams sequentially in the knockouts) Persson was at his absolute best, tearing into the Terminators' defense and scoring a brace of goals, the only two for the Red-and-Black that day. Unfortunately, though they'd now bested Rejistania twice in qualifying, and held off both Bedistan and Liverpool England in knockout matches, Starblaydia proved a bridge too far. A lone goal by midfielder Antonio Venegas was not enough, and the dejected Squornshelans headed to a third place playoff against World Cup 22 champions, Sarzonia. Persson would take out his frustration on the Stars, who were far from their best, being outworked by the Squornshelan midfield at every turn. With the midfield feeding him a steady diet of through balls and lobs, he again scored both goals to carry the Red-and-Black to their second, third-place finish.

World Cup 26 marked the twilight of Persson's international career. At 34, he was still probably the most technically skilled striker that Squornshelous could call on, and a superb shooter, but his physical athleticism was beginning to wane. Thus, he rarely played a full match anymore, being used more sparingly when a clutch goal was needed (not dissimilar to Demkjo Jzvanic's role on this cycle's Black-and-Red's roster) The qualifying tournament went well for the Red-and-Black, who finished ahead of Wentland to win Region 9 with an 8-1-3 record and 28 goals scored. The group stage draw appeared workable; Squornshelous would renew their acquaintance with Wentland, as well as facing off with Jeruselem and Oaker. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until matchday two, when the Princesses of Jeruselem laid a 4-1 shellacking on the Red-and-Black that proved impossible to recover from. Needing a win in the final matchday due to the blow to their goal differential, the Squornshelans could only manage a draw, letting Oaker eke out advancement.

This proved the last national-team outing for Franz Persson, as he would be a couple years into retirement by the time World Cup 27 rolled around. Upon stepping away from the game, he returned to Damogran, and after a few years off, became a sportscaster. Though early in his career he drew criticism for being, in turn, excessively critical of strikers in particular, his insight into attacking tactics, and the ease with which he explained them made him popular with laymen and experts alike. Eventually he found a place as co-host of Match of the Week, the most popular football program in the Imperium at the time.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In their recent matches, the Black-and-Reds have perhaps channeled the spirit of Franz Persson and those hyper-attacking teams of yesteryear. After four goals proved insufficient to avoid defeat against the Ice Birds of Torisakia, the Confederates saw off a determined challenge from Balaslandia. The home side never led, but twice fought back to a tie after the Black-and-Reds had taken a narrow lead. The match was finally put away late by Gerstlauer. The Balaslandians complained vociferously to the referee that she had perhaps overzealously shielded the ball, sending a fullback tumbling to the grass. All the same, her thumping finish, skimming just off the grass, beat the keeper, and the officials let it stand. In sunny Hunian, four different Confederate players would combine for five goals to outpace Wreckeria. Lomidan, Vladcik, and Ajao each notched one, while Jzvanic picked up two after coming in in the second half. Those proved more important than they first appear, as the visitors scored two of their three after Jzvanic had opened up the lead to four.

Now awaiting the Confederates in Dukuma, fresh off their matchday 3 bye is the team from the Busoga Islands, led of course by former SRS boss Bethany Donnell. The Brenecian has been working hard on developing a more compact and cohesive defense, and drilling consistency into her team. The Black-and-Reds' three matches, by contrast, have been wide open affair, with 22 goals scored in total. Which philosophy will prevail? Do the large number of players who played for Donnell know her tactics well enough to pick them apart on the field? I expect amiabilty between Donnell and those players that worked under her the longeset, like Ulcviecel, Dzarkhin, Dalso, and Krieven, but what sort of interaction, if any, will there be between Donnell and Tamela? A lot of questions to be answered in a match that looms large for both sides in the early going of this marathon qualifying tournament.

SRS Qualifying Schedule

MD1:  SRS 4-5 Torisakia @ Pheldagrif Stadium, Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS (cap. 45,620)
MD2:  Balaslandia 2-3 SRS @ TBA
MD3:  SRS 5-3 Wreckeria @ Sunergy Field, Hunian, Algolia, SRS (cap. 37,550)
MD4:  Busgoa Islands v SRS @ Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, BUS (cap. 63,000)
MD5:  Bye
MD6:  SRS v Drawkland @ Megabrantid Financial Field, Brantisvogan, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 69,245)
MD7:  Jantor v SRS @ TBA
MD8:  SRS v Gyatso-kai  @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion, Lublova, Molvania, SRS (cap. 61,230)
MD9:  Donnacona v SRS @ TBA
MD10: SRS v Kita-Hinode @ Bridger Lane, Damogran, Algolia, SRS (cap. 72,406)
MD11: Kohnhead v SRS @ Orange Bull Stadium, Kohnhead City, KHN (cap. 23,000)
MD12: SRS v EGM @ Igbar Steel Arena, Zarss, West Flania, SRS (cap. 15,100)
MD13: Lochario v SRS @ Zun Olympic Stadium, (cap. 98,000)
MD14: Torisakia v SRS  @ TBA
MD15: SRS v Balaslandia @ Killough Grove, Han Wavel, Han Dold, SRS (cap. 31,400)
MD16: Wreckeria v SRS @ Patrick Stadium, Halstead, WRE (cap. 30,000)
MD17: SRS v Busoga Islands @ The Lutenstaad, Lutenblag, Molvania, SRS (cap. 75,000)
MD18: Bye
MD19: Drawkland v SRS @ Spartan Veteran Stadium (107,500)
MD20: SRS v Jantor @ Malgacorp Arena, Hensha, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 29,350)
MD21: Gyatso-kai v SRS @ Meshgeroya'yaim, Keldabe, GKI (cap. 79,890)
MD22: SRS v Donnacona @ Smolak Systemy Stadion, Sjerezo, Molvania, SRS (cap. 31,200)
MD23: Kita-Hinode v SRS @ Tentai City, Tentai, HIN (cap. 80,000)
MD24: SRS v Kohnhead @ Olympiastad, Arkintoofle, Megabrantis, SRS (cap. 47,550)
MD25: EGM v SRS @ TBA
MD26: SRS v Lochario @ Castle Street, Jaglan, Algolia, SRS (cap. 57,300)

[Timuria]

Ulusal Utanç

Timuria 1–4 Barunia
Vatan Ercetin (36);Swan (18), Elwin (40, 78), Moorhouse (60)

by Tufan Nursultan

The Red Wolves fell to an ignomious defeat at the hands of Barunia, who ran out deserved winners after a meltdown by the defence and a total stalling of the offensive side of the ball. The Red Wolves looked as if they might be able to get to the break level with their visitors, but that was not to be and indeed after retaking their lead Barunia ran amok.

The first chance of the match went the Red Wolves' way, with Caner Turan weaving his way into space before poking his shot weakly just wide of the post. Barunia would get their first chance in the 11th minute as Cartwright would turn Gokdeniz Dag around as he got a shot off that stung the palms is Iskender Nur. The deadlock would be broken, as Swan found their way through the defence from a Obando long ball which led to Swan scoring a thunderous effort.

The Red Wolves would get an equaliser as Vatan Ercetin managed to get himself into a position to place the ball comfortably past the sprawling goalkeeper. The Red Wolves looked as if they took their foot off the pedal as Elwin scored a thunderous header ensuring that the visitors would go into the break with a 2-1 lead, one that they would not surrender.

After the second half began, it became apparent that the Red Wolves would suffer in this match, mistake after mistake leading to chance after chance falling to the visitors. A fumble from Iskender Nur led to the ball falling infront of Moorhouse who put the ball into the back of the open goal. The Red Wolves would get one quality chance to pull back to within a goal, but Ismail Burhan's 72nd minute effort would end up in the stands.

The final decent chance of the match for the Red Wolves would come to Yerkebulan Suyumbayev whose effort careened off the bar in the 76th minute, the rebound was collected by the visitors and the counter attack that spawned led to Elwin's second goal of the match.

The Red Wolves are now left with 3 defeats in a row and will now face off against winless Audiasania, a match that has now become a must win affair as they sit a terrible 9th in the group.

What They Said After The Match:

Bekir Altingunes: "A lot of those players need to take a good long look in the mirror after this match. As the staff we work hard to prepare them as best we can to make sure they're able to perform and to be honest, they've made a mockery of it and you all know how reluctant I am to call them out like that, but sometimes hard truthes need to be heard from a person in authority. We'll have a chance to get back on track and I fully expect us to do just that."

Player Ratings:

Our staff writers felt too disgusted by the team's performance to write about each player, suffice to say it was an abysmal affair all around.

Iskender Nur 4/10

Ozbek Sarikaya 5/10

Kemal Colak 5/10

Berker Balkan 5/10

Gokdeniz Dag 4/10

Ertan Renda 5/10

Reza Karaduman 5/10

Caner Turan 5/10

Vatan Ercetin 6/10

Volkan Ayhan 5/10

Ismail Burhan 5/10

Substitutes:

Eyup Mustafa 5/10

Yerkebulan Suyumbayev 5/10

Atilla Acar 5/10

Person of the Match: Thomas Elwin - He grabbed a fantastic brace as he helped to overwhelm Gokdeniz Dag who looked completely unable to cope.

Schedule and Results:

Home stadiums will have capacity in brackets

MD1: @ Xuzaqiy W 5-3
MD2: vs Cassadaigua, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir L 3-2
MD3: @ Kelssek L 2-1
MD4: vs Barunia, Tashkent Belediye Isci Stadium (18,500), Tashkent L 4-1
MD5: @ Audiasania
MD6: Bye
MD7: vs Olastor, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir
MD8: @ Patistan
MD9: vs The Mann Clan, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir
MD10: @ Grod Island
MD11: vs Sargossa, Hisar Belediye Sendika Stadium (27,500), Demir
MD12: @ Res Publica Nova Roma
MD13: vs Ziwana, Halkın Güneş Çiftliği Stadium (27,000), Elektriklestirme
MD14: vs Xuzaqiy, Demir-Is Stadium (5,500), Demir
MD15: @ Cassadaigua
MD16: vs Kelssek, Madenci Stadium (27,000), Uryan
MD17: @Barunia
MD18: vs Audiasania, Maden-Is Stadium (3,400), Uryan
MD19: Bye
MD20: @ Olastor
MD21: vs Patistan, Almat Jimnasyum (3,000), Demir
MD22: @ The Mann Clan
MD23: vs Grod Island, Tasova Belediye Stadium (2,000), Tasova
MD24: @Sargossa
MD25: vs Res Public Nova Roma, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir
MD26: @ Ziwana

[Alba and Cymru]

ԬԬԬ The Celtic Times ԬԬԬ
Bringing Light to a World in the Dark

May 26, 2020 Edition

A Draw at Home Draws Uncertainty
Edinburgh, Alba

Sports

Boos erupted from the crowd in Edinburgh today as the Celtic footballers produced a victor-less match in Seumas Field. Alba and Cymru's win yesterday in The Sarian boosted the morale of the players and fans alike, and Seumas Stadium sold out in local tickets for the prospect of yet another win from the defensive cavaliers. However, this hope would not pull through. The match started off well in the Celts' favour, with 30 minutes of possession and several great plays by the front duo. Wanarpu seemed slow to defend the attacks, but their quick goalie kept most shots from drilling their targets. Alba and Cymru would get a break in the late first half, as a corner kick by Heinrich Weiss found the left foot of Not Lionel Messi to give the Celts a 1-0 lead.

The second half of the match turned the tables, as Wanarpu began to possess and shoot the ball far more than they had before. A clever play by the Wanarpu striker broke the ankles of several defenders before finally finding a hole in Johannes Werner's solid wall. A 1-1 tied game seemed to break the spirits of the Celtic footballers, who were expecting a landslide against the unranked team. MacGregor suffered an injury mid-way through the second half, prompting MacDunn to replace him with rookie Cadoc ApGlywys, who played exceptionally well, but along with Not Messi could not find the tunnel they needed to regain the Celtic lead. With the end of regulation, the match ended with a stadium of disappointed fans and players, and Alba and Cymru prepared to board their flight to Eura as a middle seed.

None of the players or staff from either team wanted an interview with The Celtic Times after the match, but coach MacDunn explains that no matter the result tomorrow, he will exchange opinions with the media.

Game stats for Wanarpu (0-2-1):

Group Rank: 12th
Shots: 9
Goals: 1 (53')
Possession: 39'
Saves: 10
Fouls: 9
Yellow: 1
Red: 0
No Notable Injuries

Game stats for Alba and Cymru (1-1-0):

Group rank: 7th
Shots: 11
Goals: 1 (Not Lionel Messi, 42')
Possession: 51'
Saves: 8
Fouls: 11
Yellow: 1 (Not Lionel Messi, 73')
Red: 0
Injuries: Conchúr MacGregor (pulled hamstring, will return Friday)

Current Standings:

-  Group 3                                     Pld    W   L   D    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Adyatin                                       3    3   0   0     5    2   +3     9
 2 Terre Septentrionale                          3    2   0   1     6    4   +2     7
 3 Eura                                          2    1   0   1     6    2   +4     4
 4 Northwest Kalactin                            2    1   0   1     9    6   +3     4
 5 Sanctanus                                     3    1   1   1     5    4   +1     4
   Savojarna                                     2    1   0   1     1    0   +1     4
 7 Alba and Cymru                                3    1   1   1     2    2    0     4
 8 The Jovannic                                  3    1   1   1     5    5    0     4
 9 Sabalonia                                     3    1   2   0     5    5    0     3
10 Eshan                                         3    1   2   0     4    7   −3     3
11 The Sarian                                    3    0   1   2     6    7   −1     2
12 Wanarpu                                       3    0   2   1     6   11   −5     1
13 Chromatika                                    3    0   3   0     2    7   −5     0

Alba and Cymru will be ready to take on Eura (1-0-1) on the road, and Wanarpu will battle The Sarian (0-1-2) at home.

*Celtic Times reports team records as (W-L-D).

---

Military Identification Act Moves to World Assembly Vote
World Assembly Office of Building Management, International Neutral Territory

Global Politics

The World Assembly delegation from Alba and Cymru submitted a proposal just one week ago titled "The Military Identification Act". The resolution is now at vote. The MID Act aims to curtail the number of unknown fallen soldiers and unsuccessful blood transfusions to soldiers from around the world by equipping them with identification tags. Most nations from around the world support the proposal, and in the waking hours of the voting session, the bill seemed to be on its way to a landslide victory.

"We are grateful for this opportunity to expand the rights of our men on the front lines and those who care for them," explained Aodhàn Paorach, General Assembly ambassador for Alba and Cymru. "We are also thankful for the overwhelming support we have received from across the world. Certainly this shows that the international community is heading in the right direction."

Despite the massive support for the Military Identification Tag Act, there are some nations who have put their boots on the opposite side of the isle. "This is a very dangerous proposal that could endanger the lives of thousands of our military personnel," warned the Assembly delegate from The Federated States of Stellonia. "There are non-World Assembly members who will use the information on these tags to discriminate against ethnic minorities. Imagine if someone with the surname 'Goldberg' were captured by antisemitic forces. Stellonia will oppose this proposal, and we will repeal and replace it if it passes."

At the time of this edition, The Military Identification Act is showing sweeping acceptance, with 8,630 votes for and 2,060 votes against.

---

Rallies in Yerevan Against Kurdish Imperialism
Yerevan, Armenia

Current Events

Angered citizens of Armenia expressed their disdain for Kurdistan's economic empire expanding into the Caucasus by holding a demonstration outside of the capitol building in Yerevan. A rally of 2,000 Armenians showed up to show support for the demonstration, wielding signs reading, "Kurdistan go home!" and "Caucasus for the Caucasus!". Demonstrators plan to continue the rally for several days.

---

Choice Scripture for Today
The Orthochronica: Chapter 5, "Ye Ford Gron" (The Roundtable): Verse 112:

112 Do you recall when the knights of the Rountable asked, "O Lancelot, son of Ban, is Dagda willing to provide us a heavenly feast?" Lancelot answered, "So you say. So fear Dagda if you believe in fate."

[Eura]

A handy guide to Euran government acronyms for their internal communications:

OSI officials:

CHR-OSI = Chairman of the Office of State Intelligence (OSI)
DCHR-OSI = Deputy Chairman of the OSI
D-HI = Director of Home Intelligence, OSI official responsible for the agency’s role in domestic intelligence work and collaboration with a smaller domestic law enforcement focused sub-agency, the Federal Security Agency (FSA).
D-ESI = Director of External State Intelligence, OSI official responsible for the collection of information on foreign states and the nations they govern.
D-FAI = Director for Foreign Affairs Intelligence, OSI official responsible for collaboration and information sharing between Eura’s Foreign Office, Federal Diplomatic Service and the OSI.
D-SI = Director of Signals Intelligence, OSI official responsible for active and passive surveillance of foreign communications of all varieties (but particularly military and diplomatic traffic).
OPSRUS, OPSAO, OPSESP, OPSEND = Directors of Operations for Rushmore, Atlantian Oceania, Esportiva and Endemia.

Other government officials:

MOI-MONITOR = Joint user for three highest ranking civil servants in the Ministry of Intelligence to monitor conversations and receive updates, reporting to the Secretary of State for Intelligence – who is effectively responsible for the OSI, and the OSI Chairman’s boss.
MOD-MONITOR = Similar to above but for Ministry of Defence, and the Chief of Staff for each Euran military branch; the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, Special Forces Executive and Nuclear Forces.
FO-MONITOR = Similar to the above but for the Foreign Office and Federal Diplomatic Service.
CENTRE-CSEC = The office of the Chief Secretary (CSEC) to the Cabinet (CENTRE), the most senior civil servant in the Euran state. The CSEC themselves do not usually see everything CENTRE-CSEC sees, but their staff are responsible for flagging issues if needed, and it is through them that the Prime Minister is kept informed of important developments.

Terminology and references:

OSIOP = OSI Operator, a highly secure networking tool used by upper echelons of the Euran intelligence services to communicate in a secure manner with other government officials and the armed forces without risk of interception.
GOV = Government/state (eg. NATION-GOV)
FOR = Armed forces (eg. NATION-FOR)
LEAD = Leader (eg. NATION-LEAD)
TERMS = Treaty or international agreement
ORG = Private organisation, such as a business or NGO
EUR = Eura (whereas GOV/FOR/LEAD type titles are split from other nations with a hypen, they are not split with Eura – so Euran Government would be EURGOV rather than EUR-GOV)
ROOK = Nephara
SLATE = Brenecia
TROPIC = Vilita and Turori
MONK = The Holy Empire
GOLD = Electrum
WHITE = Apox
CASTLE = Astograth
BOOMERS, WHALES and UNCONVENTIONALS = These are Euran military synonyms for ballistic missile submarines (armed with nuclear weapons), nuclear aircraft carriers and special naval vessels such as spy ships.

Code: Select all

///LOGGED ON AS: CHR-OSI///
- MAKING CONNECTION
- AUTHORISATION: REQUESTED
- #O29P*****
- PROCESSING...

…

- AUTHORISATION: ACCEPTED
- CONNECTION MADE
- YOU ARE NOW ACCESSING THE OSIOP NETWORK. PLEASE ENSURE YOUR DEVICE IS APPROPRIATELY SECURE AS PER REGULATIONS 14.1 TO 16.1, ACT ON STATE INFORMATION SECURITY (SEE ANNEXES 1-3 FOR POLICY DETAILS)
/join ~DailyBrief
- CONNECTED TO THREAD ~DailyBrief
/runupdate

CLASSIFICATION – TOP SECRET
OFFICE OF STATE INTELLIGENCE

IF THIS COMMUNICATION IS RECEIVED ELECTRONICALLY, ENSURE DEVICE AND CONNECTION ARE FULLY SECURE. IF THIS COMMUNICATION IS RECEIVED ON PAPER, STORE IN ACCORDANCE WITH MOI PROCEDURES OR DESTROY AFTER READING.

FROM: CHR-OSI
COPY: DCHR-OSI, D-HI, D-ESI, D-FAI, D-SI, OPSRUS, OPSAO, OPSESP, OPSEND
TO: MOI-MONITOR, MOD-MONITOR, FO-MONITOR, CENTRE-CSEC
SUBJECT – SCHEDULED DAILY BRIEF

MONITOR and CENTRE colleagues, this is the standard scheduled daily brief on pertinent issues for reporting to appropriate CENTRE members and PRIME MOVER. All recipients under COPY have been consulted for contributions to this report. Issues today: ROOK/SLATE situation, TROPIC/MONK spat, CASTLE re-engagement, GOLD border, WHITE collaboration with EURFOR.

ROOK/SLATE SITUATION

This is the primary issue for update today as this is the summary of a monthly report, to be circulated shortly. Our people in SLATE report the new SLATE-LEAD and their GOV are continuing to come out of the cold and are enacting relatively radical policies to do so. OSI assessment of SLATE-LEAD is now high confidence – this is a largely centre-left and democratic, pro-EUR, pro-ROOK administration and can be expected to behave as such in contrast to the previous administration which was right wing ultranationalist, populist anti-democratic, anti-ROOK and ambivalent about EUR. As discussed in previous briefings, OSI has deep but not exhaustive understanding of NSIA operations in SLATE. Direct ROOK intervention has not been decisive but is nevertheless significant. Re-establishment of Westpike-TERMS not on the table.

Former administration figures, both non-political and political, have been removed from posts to secure status of new GOV and LEAD. Consensus from open source intelligence and closed sources is this is a short term fix to prevent retrenchment or failure of institutions that haven’t been protected from executive power for years, typified by meddling in recent election proceedings that we have confirmed. Covert and unlawful means by new SLATE-GOV cannot be ruled out; one senior cabinet member of former administration (Intelligence Minister) has been found dead in unexplained circumstances. We cannot verify our suspicions on this, but given the timing, foul play is assumed. FO and FDS developing messaging in case of public scrutiny.

Key policy priority for SLATE-GOV is evidently to secure itself and prevent serious economic crisis. Previous GOV oversaw high levels of borrowing, virtually no budget limitations and expansive spending increases without serious cost analysis, especially investment in SLATE-FOR. New GOV initially greeted by boost to currency and investor confidence but initial quarterly projections – revised down to account for manipulation by previous GOV – has led to a wobble. Risk of a significant recession becoming imminent. SLATE-GOV has responded with precipitous and immediate cut to SLATE-FOR budgets and other institutions viewed as “prestige” investments (eg. Monarchy). Substantial tax increases and clampdown on avoidance/evasion to plug budget gaps and restore confidence. Hopes for recovery being pinned on overseas investment, state stimulus, reform of welfare system, unspecified trade opportunities and performance of core industries – metals and minerals and agriculture.

The massive reining in of SLATE-FOR decision makers and budget is a significant win for the new GOV and makes international re-engagement much easier. Previous GOV held delusions of grandeur in this regard; penetration of senior officers network by OSI reveals ambitious, largely uncosted expansion programme hadn’t reached its climax. SLATE-FOR was aiming to be capable of engaging ROOK-FOR competitively in case of complete breakdown of relations, or surviving a conflict with ROOK-FOR plus allies. Our MoD assessments have deemed this a fantasy (see PLAN SLATE: ROOK-FOR projected to defeat SLATE-FOR in two weeks, or less than 72 hours if EURFOR on side). End of this project will improve relations with ROOK, and give us the opportunity to engage and promote notions of future EUR-FOR/SLATE-FOR co-operation.

TROPIC/MONK SPAT

As MONITORs and CSEC will be aware from FO and other departmental notes, a brewing trade dispute is threatening relations between TROPIC-GOV and MONK-GOV, having started as a dispute between MONK national football manager and a TROPIC-ORG, Tropicorp – but more importantly could lead to serious economic and political ramifications if any of the allegations about Tropicorp are proven true. International backlash against TROPIC-GOV, for whom Tropicorp is a huge soft power tool and export, could be severe and sudden – terms like “narcostate” already being thrown around in media. Knock on impact on certain sectors of local regional economies could be surprisingly high according to unreleased impact assessments intercepted by OSI.

In terms of national security and law enforcement implications, relevant Government departments are working closely with OSI specialists to identify any potential risk. Independent expert advice being sought and regulators are coming into play. If it is found that Tropicorp products qualify as what we would normally deem a prohibited or harmful substance, the issue could escalate from a relatively light-natured corporate disagreement quite quickly. Ministers should consider whether, at that point, regulatory, law enforcement, legal and diplomatic action needs to be taken to address role of Tropicorp and its products in Euran life and the global trade environment. MoD are reviewing potential use of Tropicorp products for EUR-FOR purposes, and will report back with findings.

CASTLE RE-ENGAGEMENT

Re-emergence of CASTLE on international stage continues with diplomatic engagement with other states and re-entry into cultural sphere, particularly international football – another case of a key soft power tool. FDS and FO are being assisted by OSI in gathering information on political situation in CASTLE and current positions of CASTLE-GOV as our networks in the country have lapsed in recent years. Once we have more information, recommendations will be presented to PRIME MOVER for next steps in re-establishing formal EUR-CASTLE TERMS.

GOLD BORDER

OSI has now wound up OPERATION CORN, including penetration of paramilitary groups and GOLD-GOV law enforcement/local government in border regions. Given that border changes have now taken place several years ago and relations are normalised, this issue will be monitored carefully but taken off the key running issues list and resources allocated to more pressing matters. However, unexplained changes to nature of national GOLD-GOV remain alarming and we will continue to investigate under the auspices of a new framework, OPERATION CARAT.

WHITE COLLABORATION WITH EURFOR.

EURFOR representatives have agreed terms with WHITE-GOV for renewal of Expeditionary Bases Agreement. Ratification of renewal is uncontroversial and, according to other departments legal advice, not required by political stakeholders in either country meaning need for assets within WHITE-GOV ranks is diminished. OSI continues to recommend ENB Mona be selected for substantial upgrade to allow continued usage by EURFOR assets including BOOMERS, WHALES and UNCONVENTIONALS. Our work in WHITE over the years has verified that Mona continues to remain the best available site for both security and operational purposes, but is also uncontroversial and therefore not problematic for senior leaders in WHITE-GOV.

That’s all for today, I’ll be back with more tomorrow. If Ministers wish to discuss specific points then please use the usual channels to put them directly in touch with me.

Yours,
CHR-OSI

[Valanora]

Looking for a team to follow for the upcoming Premiership season?! Check out this handy flowchart that the VSC has made for all audiences, foreign and domestic to use if they do not currently have a team to support! Good luck to all the teams out there as they attempt to reach their goals and the fans that support them on!

[Farfadillis]

Cocoabo.

[Taeshan]

Not PG 13, enter at own risk

Taeshan 1-0 Flavovespia
X Island Metropark, X Island, Taeshan
Nkitilina 30'

Where it all Began

Do you ever think about where you came from? All the tiny little decisions in your life that let do the point you are at now. I think often about my childhood. About how I grew up playing Soccer, Baseball, Basketball, even some street hockey. I think about how a chubby little kid turned into one of the best Left Back’s Taeshan had ever seen. I think about growing up in Moresville and then moving on. First stop, Mulhampstead.

But before I moved from Moresville to Apox, I was a kid. I spent my youth playing soccer, but I spent a lot of the nights after practices at my Grandma’s house waiting for my mother to come pick me up. My mother was heavily involved in stuff at the school she taught at, and while after school I played soccer and ate Ice cream with my grandparents, my mom went and made extra money teaching people how to sing, or dance. You don’t think about the things your family does to provide for you, but they did those things. Where would I be without my mom? My dad? Their sacrifices?

But as a little kid you don’t think about these things. You just miss your mom. You just want to be with your parents, cool grandma and grandpa were cool, but if they were like mine, they weren’t the spoiling type. They cared more about long term investments for their grandkids, stocks, bonds and the like, which is cool now, but in the short term…They even ate weird Ice cream, who eats Ice Cream with marshmallow inside of it?

My prevailing memory of long nights spent with grandma and grandpa, playing old maid and watching public television was cleaning my diecast cars in their sink and getting yelled at. That and they wouldn’t let me take a bath in more than an inch of water because I could drown in that unsupervised. Because hey, 10-year-olds are that stupid. Right?

Looking back, I would not be where I was today without that childhood. My mom working extra jobs at school to make more money, to buy me the books I loved to read, the games I loved to play, and the equipment I needed to play the sports I loved. My dad worked evening shift so there was always someone home to take care of kids, and so often it’s too late for us to show our parents how much we know they did for us. Too often you miss that chance to tell them that you loved them, and everything they did for you. Before you know it, they’re gone. And you’re flying from one end of the world to another to start another life, for a second time, without them.

Santiago Santiago

[Indusse]

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IFA NEWS NETWORK

Matchday 4

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Again A Loss!When will we win?

By Adheepnath, from Farfadallis

Again a match went by. As usual indusse lost the match.This time to Holy empire for 2-5. What did we do Margaret?Why are u making us inferior with our own fans?Even the captain is been trolled for this.Why?. The IFA said that if the team doesn't finish in top 5 in the group They will kick out the coach Joseph Moteudi. Alas! I think this is the most challenging time for Moteudi.He should have stayed in Salingam FC and trained the club. The new arrival Djetson has started showing his true game. He was the guy to score the first goal of indusse.First time indusse leads.Djetson has been made the new substitute vice captain for Butea. Butea isn't in form,he had to leave the game on 56' due to an injury. Still he will play the next game. Djetson Hasle scored his first world cup goal in 5'. The goal was a wonderful one.He surfed through 3 defenders and the goalkeeper. But, Margaret wasn't satisfied with the chickens.Holy Empire scored their 5 goals.It was Captain Baakar who scored the last goal in 87'. The goal happened when Baskar headed the ball after Mersias took the corner. But,that wasn't enough for a win.

Indusse 2-5 Holy Empire
For indusse:
Djetson 5'
Baskar 87'

View Djetson's First Goal

https://images.app.goo.gl/q6xLLqjrubSuYp319.png