Audioslavia Domestic Football Newswire

by **Audioslavia** » Fri May 18, 2018 5:33 pm

National League Division 1 - Matchday 31
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–0 Eletti Valligiani
Artiglieria 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 Silexhera FC
Cazadores Cathair 2–4 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 0–1 1830 Cathair

Shamrock keep up the pace with victory over Silexhera, again with Crewe and Le Quellec on the scoresheet, while Cathair overcome Mozi in a tense encounter at the Ibarretako Estadioa with Wínrôuge grabbing the only goal of the game.

Caza versus Zozi is undoubtedly the match of the weekend, and it's the away side who come away victorious, inspired by a mercurial Laborious Hawk who scores two and provides for Auðbjörnsson and substitute Paul Calvez for a vital 4-2 victory.

National League Division 1 - Matchday 32
Eletti Valligiani 0–1 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 3–1 Cazadores Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Silexhera FC 3–5 Artiglieria
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
National League Division 1     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair                 32   18   3  11    54   36  +18    57 
 2 Shamrock Cathair             32   15   9   8    60   51   +9    54
 3 AC Izotz Zubia               32   15   7  10    55   36  +19    52
 4 Cazadores Cathair            32   15   7  10    53   47   +6    52
 5 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        32   11   9  12    48   51   -3    42
 6 Oljestaden IF                32   10  11  11    48   51   -3    41
 7 KT Moreazerua                32    9  10  13    48   60  -12    37
 8 Artiglieria                  32    8  11  13    60   71  -11    35
 9 Silexhera FC                 32    7  13  12    49   58   -9    34
10 Eletti Valligiani            32    9   6  17    25   39  -14    33
Cazadores Cathair's title ambitions take two huge blows as, over the course of a week, they lose 4-2 at home to Zozi and are soundly beaten away to title rivals 1830 Cathair, for whom Ignacio Borjon is the star of the show, creating all three of 1830's goals. Caza side drop from first to fourth after a shocking winless run. Cross-town rivals 1830 Cathair eke out a 1-0 victory away at Moreazerua to take first place with a three point gap over this season's surprise package Shamrock Cathair. Cammers's Shammers shade a huge six-pointer in Izotzazubia (Alexander Crewe with the goal, once more) to go second by two points, three off the lead, with only four games left to play, the first against their capital rivals, and fellow title hopefuls, 1830 Cathair.

At the bottom, Artiglieria's 5-3 victory over Silexhera leapfrogs them over their opponents and into eighth place, from the bottom, with Eletti Valligiani once again falling to the basement. Mozi's victory over EV puts a little daylight between them and that relegation playoff place, but it's not enough to recapture the imagination of the fans, who have largely stayed away during another disappointing season.

National League Division 1 - Matchday 33
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Eletti Valligiani
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–0 Silexhera FC
Artiglieria 3–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 5–4 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 KT Moreazerua

Shamrock Cathair 5, 1830 Cathair 4. It's a match for the ages. A 3-1 half-time lead for the Elders, scored through Ceballos, Shinra and Szubanski, is pegged back to 3-2 early in the second through Crewe, grabbing his brace for the game. Alpha Gandhi gets his name on the scoresheet for the fifth time this season to make it 4-2, but Shamrock's reply is swift, halving the gap through a John Snodgrass header and equalising on sixty-five minutes with Jerquaad crossing low and hard for Carles Gorgas to sweep home. Shamrock, buoyed by a home side that, themselves, can barely believe they're doing this, pile on the pressure, with Rohan Cammers screaming instructions and throwing bits of paper everywhere in excitement. Rodger Mariezkurrena's goal on eighty four minutes sends the home fans into raptures as they go joint top of the league. Dragan Kryznjak, in the 1830 Cathair dugout, is sent off for throwing bits of paper around. The only difference between his expression of anger and Cammers's expression of excitement is that the Audioslavian had scrunched up his pieces of paper and thrown them at the fourth official.

Sunday's game sees Zozi keep pace, but they themselves needed some last minute heroics from Auðbjörnsson, who grabs a late brace to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. 'We're gonna win the league!' cry the Zozi fans in their unintelligible language. They might wel be on the way to doing that.

Cazadores, of course, are still in there, beating Mozi by a solitary Olimpia Vidal goal to nil. Chromatik striker Vidal, though overshadowed by Desya Kuznetsov, has been getting the goals when required. Caza are not out of this one yet.

National League Division 1 - Matchday 34
Eletti Valligiani 0–3 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 1–1 Artiglieria
AC Izotz Zubia 3–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Silexhera FC 1–1 Oljestaden IF
National League Division 1     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair             34   17   9   8    67   56  +11    60
 2 AC Izotz Zubia               34   17   7  10    62   41  +21    58
 3 1830 Cathair                 34   18   4  12    59   42  +17    58
 4 Cazadores Cathair            34   17   7  10    57   47  +10    58
 5 Oljestaden IF                34   11  12  11    50   52   -2    45
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        34   11  10  13    50   54   -4    43
 7 KT Moreazerua                34    9  10  15    49   63  -14    37
 8 Silexhera FC                 34    7  15  12    50   59   -9    36
 9 Artiglieria                  34    8  12  14    64   76  -12    36
10 Eletti Valligiani            34    9   6  19    25   43  -18    33
A last-ditch goal from Yohan Millar against ten-man Moreazerua sends shockwaves through Audioslavian football, as Shamrock Cathair... Shamrock Cathair Though... go two points clear with two games to play. Cathair can't recover from last week's bitter blow in time for their next game against Artiglieria in which the strugglers manage to hold on for a share of the points after John Revelwer's equaliser on 50 minutes in a Cathair-dominated game. Zozi and Cazadores, who have both caught up to the capital club with two wins over their two games, complete a four-way shitfight for the league title with, and this bears repeating, Shamrock Cathair in pole position. Shamrock Cathair Though

At the bottom, Ariglieria's point and Silexhera's draw agai... no. Sorry. Shamrock Cathair Though. Audioslavia can't. We just can't.

National League Division 1 - Matchday 35
Silexhera FC 0–0 Eletti Valligiani
Oljestaden IF 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–3 1830 Cathair
Artiglieria 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 Cazadores Cathair
National League Division 1     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair             35   18   9   8    70   57  +13    63
 2 AC Izotz Zubia               35   18   7  10    64   41  +23    61
 3 1830 Cathair                 35   19   4  12    62   43  +19    61
 4 Cazadores Cathair            35   17   7  11    58   50   +8    58
 5 Oljestaden IF                35   11  12  12    50   54   -4    45
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        35   11  10  14    51   57   -6    43
 7 KT Moreazerua                35   10  10  15    50   63  -13    40
 8 Silexhera FC                 35    7  16  12    50   59   -9    37
 9 Artiglieria                  35    8  12  15    64   77  -13    36
10 Eletti Valligiani            35    9   7  19    25   43  -18    34
Zozi and Cathair both win away on the Saturday to temporarily take the lead in the title race, but the biggest match is the Capital Derby on Sunday in which Shamrock take on Cazadores in a match wherein the loser is all but out of the title race. Cazadores take the lead via Olimpia Vidal, but Shamrock are the team in the ascendancy and goals from Carles Gorgas and Conrad Edmond propel Shammers to within two points of the title with one game left to play. With Zozi and Cathair both at home against lower-table sides, only a victory on the final day of the season, away to Eletti Valligiani, will give Shamrock Cathair their first ever national championship.

Defeated Cazadores are out of the title race and can only hope and pray that one of Zozi or Cathair lose on the final day so they can jump into the UICA Champions Cup positions. As it stands, it's thursday-night Globe Cup footy for the boys (and girls) in blood red.

Oljestaden, despite their early season problems, are up to a nosebleed inducing fifth place in the league. Ivan Haarstad's insistence on his ridiculous 3-1-5-1 formation appears to have somehow paid off. Imagine what they could have done if they'd had even one good forward?

by **Audioslavia** » Fri May 18, 2018 6:32 pm

National League Division 1 - Matchday 36
Eletti Valligiani 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Artiglieria
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
1830 Cathair 1–0 Oljestaden IF
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Silexhera FC

National League Division 1     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair             36   19   9   8    72   58  +14    66 Champions, CC, AOCL
 2 1830 Cathair                 36   20   4  12    63   43  +20    64 CC
 3 AC Izotz Zubia               36   18   8  10    65   42  +23    62 CC
 4 Cazadores Cathair            36   18   7  11    60   51   +9    61 GC
 5 Oljestaden IF                36   11  12  13    50   55   -5    45 GC
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        36   11  11  14    52   58   -6    44 GC
 7 KT Moreazerua                36   10  11  15    51   64  -13    41
 8 Silexhera FC                 36    7  17  12    51   60   -9    38 
 9 Artiglieria                  36    8  12  16    65   79  -14    36 
10 Eletti Valligiani            36    9   7  20    26   45  -19    34 Relegation Playoff

Srsly tho wtf.

Shamrock Cathair are champions. Shamrock. Cathair. Though. Football. Bloody hell.

It turned out not to be too difficult, despite a scare at the end with an Eletti Valligiani goal. Shamrock go two goals up via Crewe and Mirko Vangelis before the eleventh minute and never look back. Zozi, held 1-1 at home to a Silexhera team trying to avoid that Relegation Playoff spot, finish a disappointing third after two championship winning seasons in a row and are forced to watch the trophy leave, via helicopter, ten minutes before the end of the game. 1830 Cathair, at least, did their part to make Shamrock tense, beating Oljestaden 1-0 via a seventy-fourth minute strike from Hazel van Robben, but Shamrock's squeaky-bum time is limited to the two minutes immediately following Eletti Valligiani's goal. EV, by this point, are all but ready for that relegation playoff game, though, and don't even look like adding an equaliser.

Shamrock Cathair are champions. S.C.T.

Cazadores, looking for a long time like they might win the league, have to make do with fourth place and a spot in the Globe Cup, while 1830 Cathair finish above Zozi for the first time since season four. They remain without a title since season three - a season in which Shamrock were relegated on just 27 points. How times have changed.

Oljestaden and Tout-Puissant Hasiera round out the Globe Cup places, while KT Moreazerua complete another torrid league season in seventh place.

National League Division 2     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Burdoc Ridge                 36   19   8   9    64   48  +16    65 Promoted
 2 AS Marcadia                  36   18   7  11    53   47   +6    61 Promoted
 3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi        36   17   7  12    83   66  +17    58 Promoted
 4 Isle of Kjeligsted FC        36   15  11  10    68   58  +10    56 Promoted
 5 Tenth Star Hasiera           36   15   5  16    52   52    0    50 Promoted
 6 KT Laranjauzia               36   12  10  14    59   64   -5    46 Promotion Playoff
 7 CdF Celtade                  36   13   7  16    55   68  -13    46 Joins National League Two
 8 KT Itzalovalle               36   11   7  18    29   40  -11    40 Joins National League Two
 9 CF Herradores                36    9  12  15    47   60  -13    39 Joins National League Two
10 KT Koroatuz                  36    9  10  17    58   65   -7    37 Joins National League Two

Promotion Playoff: Eletti Valligiani 4-0 KT Laranjauzia

It's a little bit of an anti-climax in the second flight, with most of the top five assured of rounding out the new fifteen-team National League three quarters of the way through the season. Burdoc Ridge will return at the first time of asking, with AS Marcadia, Isle of Kjeligsted and Tenth Star Hasiera all returning to a league they've all been relegated from at some point in the past. The only new team will be one Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, a team founded in Trentina, Padia by expats from Valanora ten years ago, that have come up through the divisions. They will be the fourth of four Padian teams in the top division next year, along with an Eletti Valligiani team that make light work of KT Laranjauzia in the promotional/relegation playoff, AS Marcadia and Artiglieria.

National League Division 3      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Ceilerden Harp                38   20   8  10    62   49  +13    68 Joins National League Two
 2 Excelsior Zijweg              38   19  10   9    68   55  +13    67 Joins National League Two
 3 Sobrevolante                  38   19   8  11    85   62  +23    65 Joins National League Two
 4 Santa Margarida               38   19   8  11    71   53  +18    65 Joins National League Two
 5 KT Ferramendiak               38   19   7  12    75   63  +12    64 Joins National League Two
 6 Necromarinai                  38   20   3  15    68   44  +24    63 Joins National League Two
 7 Viking Halehavn               38   18   5  15    75   60  +15    59 Joins National League Two
 8 The Oran                      38   15  11  12    60   60    0    56 Joins National League Two
 9 Guerrilla Cathair             38   17   5  16    52   60   -8    56 Joins National League Two
10 Iron Brewery                  38   17   4  17    61   62   -1    55 Joins National League Two
11 Reina Del Sud                 38   14   8  16    53   55   -2    50 Joins National League Two
12 Uniao Tortuguita              38   14   8  16    58   61   -3    50 Joins National League Two
13 United Cathair FC             38   14   6  18    59   73  -14    48 Joins National League Two
14 Valens AV                     38   12  10  16    62   69   -7    46 Joins National League Two
15 Sparta Zijweg                 38   12  10  16    58   72  -14    46 Joins Regional League
16 SC Laivanrakentajas           38   12   9  17    47   58  -11    45 Joins Regional League
17 Lemmitania State FC           38   11  10  17    60   64   -4    43 Joins Regional League
18 DDM Dunas Secas               38   12   7  19    54   66  -12    43 Joins Regional League
19 Vidrieros                     38   10   8  20    45   61  -16    38 Joins Regional League
20 KT Ferratzaileak              38    9   9  20    43   69  -26    36 Joins Regional League

National League Division 4      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Calcio Lecho                  46   26  14   6    90   57  +33    92 Joins National League Two
 2 KT Kanpoldelko                46   27   8  11    80   62  +18    89 Joins Regional League
 3 Ceilerden Rovers              46   25  13   8    79   54  +25    88 Joins Regional League 
 4 Osarese Marcadia              46   22  14  10    79   52  +27    80 Joins Regional League 
 5 2130 Calolziolungho           46   23   9  14    85   60  +25    78 Joins Regional League 
 6 Crossport Dynamo              46   23   9  14    76   55  +21    78 Joins Regional League
 7 CdFS Ilheiros                 46   23   8  15    91   68  +23    77 Joins Regional League
 8 Shires Owls                   46   23   8  15    74   62  +12    77 Joins Regional League
 9 Clockwork FC                  46   20   7  19    83   74   +9    67 Joins Regional League
10 CF Cruceros                   46   18  13  15    82   73   +9    67 Joins Regional League
11 Orquideas                     46   18  11  17    66   62   +4    65 Joins Regional League
12 Fundición                     46   19   8  19    67   69   -2    65 Joins Regional League
13 Valderantia United            46   16  11  19    59   65   -6    59 Joins Regional League
14 Glasgar Royals                46   15  14  17    75   86  -11    59 Joins Regional League
15 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz      46   15  14  17    62   74  -12    59 Joins Regional League
16 Frecce                        46   15  13  18    72   63   +9    58 Joins Regional League
17 Glasgar Rebels                46   16  10  20    55   62   -7    58 Joins Regional League
18 Maccabi Hasiera               46   16   9  21    55   66  -11    57 Joins Regional League
19 Shires Blaydes                46   15   9  22    60   71  -11    54 Joins Regional League
20 Crossport Mariners            46   15   8  23    61   75  -14    53 Joins Regional League
21 Viking Hryggur                46   13  13  20    63   74  -11    52 Joins Regional League
22 PLFC                          46    9  14  23    49   85  -36    41 Joins Regional League
23 Steelworks                    46    7   8  31    37   83  -46    29 Joins Regional League
24 Ross Railway                  46    6   9  31    54  102  -48    27 Joins Regional League

Kirola Cup 1st Round
Oljestaden IF 2–0 Maccabi Hasiera
1830 Cathair 3–1 Shires Owls
Glasgar Royals 2–2 CdF Celtade (2–3 AET)
Valderantia United 3–3 The Oran (3–3 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Ceilerden Harp 1–0 Vidrieros
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Fundición
Santa Margarida 2–1 Valens AV
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–1 Orquideas
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
CdFS Ilheiros 1–0 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 Ceilerden Rovers
Tenth Star Hasiera 5–2 2130 Calolziolungho
CF Herradores 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Ross Railway 1–3 Eletti Valligiani
PLFC 2–1 Steelworks
Deportivo de Puerta Cruz 3–4 United Cathair FC
Calcio Lecho 0–0 Reina Del Sud (1–0 AET)
KT Kanpoldelko 1–3 SC Laivanrakentajas
KT Ferramendiak 4–4 Crossport Mariners (5–5 AET) (6–7 pen.)
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Shires Blaydes 3–1 Necromarinai
Artiglieria 0–0 KT Itzalovalle (1–1 AET) (4–1 pen.)
Sobrevolante 3–0 Clockwork FC
Glasgar Rebels 0–2 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Burdoc Ridge 4–3 Viking Hryggur
KT Moreazerua 2–1 DDM Dunas Secas
KT Koroatuz 3–0 KT Laranjauzia
Guerrilla Cathair 1–2 Silexhera FC
Frecce 1–4 Iron Brewery
Viking Halehavn 5–2 Lemmitania State FC
KT Ferratzaileak 0–3 Uniao Tortuguita
Crossport Dynamo 1–1 CF Cruceros (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Kirola Cup 2nd Round
Artiglieria 1–1 Oljestaden IF (1–2 AET)
Crossport Mariners 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
CdF Celtade 1–2 CdFS Ilheiros
PLFC 1–0 Santa Margarida
Iron Brewery 0–0 Viking Halehavn (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Ceilerden Harp 0–1 Sobrevolante
Uniao Tortuguita 1–1 United Cathair FC (1–2 AET)
Eletti Valligiani 3–3 Calcio Lecho (4–3 AET)
Silexhera FC 3–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–1 1830 Cathair (1–1 AET) (0–3 pen.)
SC Laivanrakentajas 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Sparta Zijweg 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia (2–2 AET) (5–6 pen.)
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Shires Blaydes
KT Koroatuz 2–0 CF Cruceros
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
The Oran 0–2 Burdoc Ridge

Kirola Cup 3rd Round
AC Izotz Zubia 4–2 Eletti Valligiani
SC Laivanrakentajas 1–1 Sobrevolante (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
PLFC 0–3 KT Koroatuz
Oljestaden IF 1–0 CdFS Ilheiros
Iron Brewery 0–1 Burdoc Ridge
Silexhera FC 2–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
United Cathair FC 0–0 Crossport Mariners (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 1830 Cathair

Kirola Cup Quarter Final
Kirola Cup
Burdoc Ridge 6–1 SC Laivanrakentajas
KT Koroatuz 1–0 Silexhera FC
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 United Cathair FC

Kirola Cup Semi Final
Burdoc Ridge 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Kirola Cup Final
KT Koroatuz 0–2 Cazadores Cathair

Cazadores Cathair are somehow the only top flight team to make it through to the final, and comfortably defeat KT Koroatuz to take their first National Cup trophy. Desya Kuznetsov and Olimpia vidal are the scorers, with the former celebrating by accidentally dropping the trophy on the latter's foot. Vidal, putting on a brave face, assures the media in the interview that he won't be missing any international football because of the injury.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:57 pm

Season 8

Team             Titles (TNL Era)
1830 Cathair       - 10 (1)
AC Izotz Zubia.    - 8  (3)
Shamrock Cathair   - 1  (1)
Cazadores Cathair  - 1  (1)
KT Moreazerua      - 1  (1)

Only fifteen Audioslavian sides have ever played in the top flight of any league. 
This is all of them in order of total points.

Most Points (LA+TNL Seasons) 
1830 Cathair          - 1535            
AC Izotz Zubia        - 1507             
KT Itzalovalle        - 1132             
Cazadores Cathair     - 922
KT Moreazerua         - 721
Oljestaden IF         - 675
Shamrock Cathair      - 398
KT Ferramendiak       - 313
Eletti Valligiani     - 180
AS Marcadia           - 171
KT Koroatuz           - 148
Burdoc Ridge          - 111
Artiglieria           - 88
Silexhera FC          - 84
Tenth Star Hasiera    - 63

Season Eight of the Audioslavian National League (officially entitled 'The National League' for reasons best left in the offices of the Football Federation of Audioslavia) sees a new look compared to previous years. Gone is the old tried-and-tested ten-team system, in is a modern logo and a fifteen-club top flight in which each team will play each other twice. The change comes as a way to combat Audioslavian domestic football's drop from being arguably the world's finest league to the outer reaches of the world's top ten in the coefficients - a decline that has shown no sign of abating. Believing more off-days for top clubs will result in higher chances of victory on the continent and around the world, the FFA have decided on five 'expansion' spots and a 28-game season.

In the lower reaches of the league system, the remnants of the old ten-team division two and the larger division three have largely merged together to form a twenty-team second tier dubbed National Two, while the rest of the nation's professional clubs have been entered into Repechage 41. R41 is a forty-one team league in which every team plays each other only once, with the top four teams attaining automatic promotion to National Two. It's based on the commercially successful R49, which once formed the second division for both the LigAnaia North and the LigAnaia East back in the day.

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
(Cathair, Central)

1. Rusty McPherson (32, G , AUD)
2. Lachlan Faulkner (22, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Cameron Burns (34, D RLC, AUD)
5. Louis Snodgrass (24, D C, AUD)
6. John Snodgrass (24, D C, AUD)
7. Yohan Millar (23, M/F CR, EFL)
8. Carles Gorgas (19, AM C, AUD)
9. Coco Le Quellec (21, F C, AUD)
10. Alexander Crewe (29, F C, APX)
11. Rodger Mariezkurrena (33, M LC, AUD)
12. Mirko Vangelis (35, M L, NPH)
13. Bombidillyo (26, G , DAI)
14. Danira Plibersek (30, M C, NPH)
15. Brodie Kronholm (21, M/F C, AUD)
17. Kian Wood (23, D C, AUD)
18. Kyle Maxfield (22, D RC, AUD)
19. Jerome Aitken (33, F C, AUD)
20. Osman Candelo (32, AM C, VLD)
21. Conrad Edmond (25, M C, AUD)
22. Jerquaad (20, D CR, DAI)
Mng. Rohan Cammers (44, M C, APX)

After spending much of their professional existence yo-yoing between the top two divisions, that Cammers’s Shammers are reigning champions of Audioslavia must be some kind of sick joke. Fans of Cazadores and 1830 certainly believe so. Last season’s march to a maiden title win shocked the nation. Going for two in a row may well be a little beyond the thin squad, but Shamrock remain as unpredictable as their notorious manager Rohan Cammers.

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
(Cathair, Central)

2. Valdemar Rasmussen (19, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Romain Capelle (32, D L, VLD)
4. Mario Valentini (22, M C, AUD)
5. Ryan Gordon (33, D C, AUD)
6. Niko Szubanski (30, D C, BRE)
7. Hazel van Robben (32, M/F RLC, QUE)
8. Faeron Soldarian (649, DM C, VAL)
9. Pristina Shine (29, F C, EQS)
10. Espy va Drake (770, M/F RLC, VAL)
11. Romelio Ceballos (34, F C, PAS)
13. Tucunduvá (31, G , DAI)
14. Ignacio Borjon (22, M RC, AUD)
15. Torquil Robie (29, DM/M C, AUD)
16. John Lomax (20, D RC, AUD)
17. Ainsley Gibson (28, D L, AFT)
18. Puristina Shinra (23, M C, HIN)
22. Charlie Gordon (22, D LC, AUD)
23. Lachlan McKenna (27, G , AUD)
24. Diego Monroy (21, D LC, AUD)
01. Fôrté Wínrôuge (34, AM C, FFD)
1+8. Zlatan Natividad (29, F C, AUD)
Mng. Dragan Kryznjak (44, F C, AUD)

As well as being the oldest club in Audioslavia, formed while the game was still young, amateur, upper-middle class and decidedly foreign, 1830 Cathair are the most successful side in Audioslavian history, winning the most league titles and being the first side from the isles to win the UICA Champions Cup.

Cathair have always been richer than their rivals, helped by a strong capital city economy and a steady procession of high-spending sponsors, but recent years have been leaner. Big names still fill the squad, with Espy va Drake, Faeron Soldarian, Hazel van Robben and Fôrté Wínrôuge on the books, but their main cross-national rivals AC Izotz Zubia have surpassed them, and the pack has caught up. Traditionally small-time local rivals Cazadores and Shamrock have both won titles more recently than 1830 Cathair. And that’s just weird. Manager Dragan Kryznjak is under pressure to right that wrong.

AC Izotz Zubia Zozi
(Izotzazubia , Herradura)

1. Ángel Clavel (21, G , AUD)
2. Txordin Uzain (33, D R, AUD)
3. Javi Esqueda (29, D RL, AUD)
5. Ilatxi Altzibararechuluago (27, D C, AUD)
6. Robert Smith (33, D C, AUD)
8. Tar Hunor (28, M C, PAS)
9. Ingþór Auðbjörnsson (28, F C, PAS)
10. Fabio Mancini (35, M C, OSR)
11. Jody Zufiria (31, DM C, AUD)
13. Branadru (29, G , DAI)
14. Laborious Hawk (910, AM C, VAL)
15. Storm Holsen (22, DM C, AUD)
16. Inaki Villanueva (22, D RL, AUD)
17. Alessandro Juliana (18, M CR, AUD)
18. Manolo Hernandez Jr. (27, M R, AUD)
19. Paul Calvez (21, F C, AUD)
20. Laurentzi Urionaguena (22, M RC, AUD)
24. Iaaki Gorostiaga (23, F C, AUD)
99. Valrauncion (Elf, F RCL, KRY)
Mng. Patrick Courtois (41, D C, VLD)

AC Izotz Zubia are the second most successful side in the history of the Audioslavian game. The second of the country's teams to win the UICA Champions Cup (and in the stadium of national rivals 1830 Cathair, to boot), Zozi have been the best Audioslavian team in around a third of all their league seasons. The side have won two of the last three championships, having become the first team Audioslavian side to win the league outright two seasons in a row (including the LigAnaia era).

In previous seasons the side adopted an ultra-attacking approach, but departures of big names have put the side's formation back to a rather more traditional shape. The side will rely heavily on their foreign talent, backed up here and there by talent from their widely heralded youth setup.

Cazadores Cathair Caza
(Cathair, Central)

1. Xabier Irungarai (25, G , AUD)
2. Adalberto Zufiaurre (35, D/M R, AUD)
3. Matthew Ingold (31, D L, SCH)
4. Yancy Andersen (29, D/M C, AUD)
5. Verghan Seghers-Verduzco (29, D C, AUD)
6. Vergan Peña (31, D C, AUD)
7. Andrea Arguelles (33, M RC, AUD)
8. Dane Pridgeon (18, M C, COS)
9. Julio Sokolov (33, F C, AUD)
10. Olimpia Vidal (23, F C, CMT)
11. Nestor Martinez (31, AM/F C, SJG)
12. Baran Kuznetsov (27, D RC, AUD)
13. Hardcheese (30, G , DAI)
14. Ashley Apaolaza (28, F CL, AUD)
15. Imanol Corallo (31, M RC, AUD)
16. Bryton Menheniot (22, DM C, APX)
17. Francisco Elizalde (30, M LC, AUD)
18. Sergio Belen (25, D R, AUD)
19. Ignacio Barbara (23, F C, AUD)
20. Randal Zepeda (28, M C, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (45, F RLC, NPH)

For long periods the side most neutrals wanted to win, modern day Caza have turned a little pragmatic in recent years. No longer the upstart trying to usurp Zozi and 1830 from their thrones, Caza are now former league winners with a record of finishing no lower than fourth in recent seasons. This will be their first without Champions Cup football in five years.

The side are famed for a long line of ‘interesting’ personalities in the side. Noted crazy-people Anderson Sandro, Rohan Cammers, Desya Kuznetsov and Rook Cathar have all donned the dark red at some point in their career. The latter moving on to manage the club.

Oljestaden IF Olga
(Oljestaden, Hyland)

1. Zebjan Istanjovich (37, G , SIC)
2. Morten Pshenichny (34, D R, PIS)
3. Hershel Nesbitt (34, D LC, AUD)
4. Tomas Kristofics (38, DM C, PIS)
5. Tomp McCloud (35, D L, COS)
7. Navarro lo Squadro (31, M R, FFD)
8. Tofer Kahlor (23, AM C, COS)
10. Funanya Nwapa (35, M C, COS)
11. Jack Churchfather (27, AM L, NPH)
12. Donato Castillo (20, G , EFL)
13. Kletus Tosset (21, F C, COS)
14. Badminton (33, M C, DAI)
16. Mathew Zwaan (32, M R, AUD)
17. Ernest De Keyser (31, D/M RC, AUD)
18. Clement Snijders (30, DM C, AUD)
20. Gale Van Hoorn (26, F C, AUD)
24. Adriaan Martens (27, D/M L, AUD)
25. Bohdan Melnikoff (28, F C, AUD)
26. Caleb di Weit (24, F C, AUD)
30. Marijn Poelmans (28, D RL, AUD)
Mng. Ivan Haarstad (48, mng , PIS)

Oljestaden have always been something of an odd-one-out in the Audioslavian top flight (when they haven't been struggling in the second divison, that is). Whereas the highest level of football in this country is often dominated by sides from the capital, Tzierra and the southwest, northerners Oljestaden consistently crop up here and there, whether in the Globe Cup positions or powering home to win the Kirola Cup.

Polarian manager Ivan Haarstad, once a striker with the club, has always liked playing with, and managing, Polarian footballers, which explain how Tomas Kristofics has kept his place in the team over the past 17 seasons.

Tout-Puissant Hasiera Les Sudistes
(Hasiera, Bas de la Sierra)

1. Louelle Ronquille (31, G , AUD)
2. Jeremiah Bendix (37, D RL, AUD)
3. Shane Stoppelbei (32, D L, YTT)
5. Emmanuel Fontan (27, D C, AUD)
6. Jean-Michel Boiteux (24, M C, AUD)
7. Leonardo Bousquet (24, AM/F C, EFL)
8. Marcus Sforza (32, AM C, AUD)
9. Iaaki Lacouague (29, F C, AUD)
10. Louis O'Brien (30, F C, OSR)
11. Jaume Picot (27, M LC, AUD)
12. Marcus Herrier (29, F C, AUD)
13. Jildas Le Hénaff (21, D L, AUD)
15. Marouane Gilberg (36, D L, AUD)
17. Javier Duarte (23, D RL, AUD)
19. Gioele Angelino (22, D LC, AUD)
20. Miquel Regal (28, M RL, AUD)
21. Charles Beck (23, D/M LC, AUD)
22. Arnau Basso (26, G , AUD)
23. Clarence Robaina (22, D L, AUD)
27. Futuyna (27, G , DAI)
Mng. Ari Mendea (62, M , AUD)

With every passing season there's usually one Hasiera team in the top flight. One maximum. They have a habit of passing each other on their way into and out of the first division. This 15-team season is the first to buck the trend. Tout-Puissant's ability to get stuck in to the Globe Cup places have cemented them in the top flight recently, while Tenth Star will just be looking to survive.

KT Moreazerua Mozi
(Moreazerua, Herradura)

1. Santiago Dorantes (29, G , AUD)
2. Agustín Valenzuela (25, D R, AUD)
3. Alex Moralez (29, D LC, AUD)
4. Bennik Hreidarsson (30, DM C, SEM)
6. Dieter Konoval (28, D C, NPH)
7. Kelvin Lisco (26, D/M R, SAR)
8. Marco van Ciavatinni (30, M/F CR, ESH)
9. Benjamin Worsaw (35, F C, COS)
10. Joan Nonhagatte (28, M C, FFD)
11. Rynyr-Pilta Jan (27, AM C, QUS)
13. Timothy Landzaat (33, D RC, AUD)
14. Huele (37, AM C, SAM)
15. Nerman (29, M/F L, IRN)
16. Arturo Solagurenbeazkoa (28, D/M RL, AUD)
18. Circe (22, F C, DAI)
19. Inaki Etxabeguren (34, AM/F CL, AUD)
19. Imanol Andueza (27, F C, AUD)
20. Forest Azarola (29, F C, AUD)
23. Pendergarst (32, G , DAI)
mng. Jouard Caceres (46, D C, AUD)

Alexander Kirk's KT Moreazerua rose from being perennial relegation fodder to becoming champions a few years back, but times have changed. Mozi haven’t troubled the top half of the table for years, now,. Jouard Caceres has been tasked with putting the side back where they belong (the Globe Cup places, at the very least)). With county rivals Itzalovalle still languishing in the second tier, Mozi only have Zozi as their main rivalry, and that one has been rather lopsided in recent years.

Mozi, then, are rebuilding, but without UICA football they struggle to attract enough top foreign talent.

Silexhera FC The Academicals
(Silica City, Silexhera)

1. Luca Zanardi (21, G , AUD)
2. Jefferson McMillan (33, D RC, AUD)
3. Nathan Lang (37, D LC, AUD)
4. Vilhelm Bacarde (32, DM C, YTT)
5. Lewis Vaughan (27, D C, LTN)
6. Dewey Carmichael (29, D C, AUD)
7. William Blake (27, M C, LTN)
8. Baldo Gabbard (32, M C, YTT)
9. Vraimond Tielemans (36, F C, AUD)
10. Bull De Roo (34, M C, AUD)
11. Dylan Yansway (31, M RL, AUD)
12. Shon Ferroni (35, F C, AUD)
13. Winfridh (32, G , DAI)
14. Ysaak (20, D CR, DAI)
15. Estanche (33, M C, DAI)
16. Dennis Weir (36, DM C, AUD)
17. Haywood Baden (33, D/M RL, AUD)
18. Ted Cal (28, M C, AUD)
Mng. Juan Juez (57, F C, AUD)

Silexhera, a former nation unto itself that qualified for World Cup 48, have a rich footballing history but not much in the way of money or local population, with Silexhera being sparsely populated. They have always managed to make do with meagre resources, however, as can be attested to by the fact that, well, they’re still here. Silexhera were favourites for the drop last year, but an eighth-placed finish kept them more than safe for the coming season. Optimistic fans may fancy that they can push on this year.

Artiglieria The Gunners
(Bolzana, Padia)

1. Uolleys (26, G , DAI)
2. Alessio Tornetta (24, D RL, AUD)
3. Leonardo Di Bari (25, D L, AUD)
4. Jordan Nancarrow (31, M C, BRE)
5. Francesco Azzaro (27, D C, AUD)
6. Michele Merlini (27, D C, AUD)
7. John Revelwer (25, M R, DUN)
8. Bruno Guridi (28, M/F RL, AUD)
9. Odis Panico (29, F C, AUD)
10. Menderchuk (27, F C, DAI)
11. Matt Branch (33, M L, COS)
12. Francesco Fazio (27, M C, AUD)
13. Homer Bruzzese (21, G , AUD)
14. Kelly Caldarone (29, DM C, AUD)
15. Maximiliano Villavicencio (24, M/F C, AUD)
17. Eduardo De Valle (22, M LC, AUD)
20. Fedyenka Rudnitsky (27, M R, AUD)
21. Paolo Castellucci (23, AM LC, AUD)
24. Salvatore Cartelli (21, D R, AUD)
27. Arnoud Koolhaas (23, D C, AUD)
28. Giorgio Cavaliere (21, F C, AUD)
29. Filippo Bracco (20, F C, AUD)
Mng. Orson Faulkner (42, D RC, BRE)

Artiglieria hail from Padia on the west coast of Audioslavia - a place that has broken onto the Audioslavian football map in recent years with the arrival of Marcadia and Valligiani to the top flight. Both sides hit the heights of the Globe Cup before their adrenaline petered out. Artiglieria, in their first season, did a similarly impressive job in qualifying for the Champions Cup, but similarly endured a difficult sophomore year in the top flight. Manager Orson Faulkner, a legend at AC Izotz Zubia, will look keep the side going in the top division.

Eletti Valligiani I Gialloneri
(Valligiani, Padia)

1. Lucas Lemann (26, G , PAS)
2. Gilberto Anzures (35, D RL, AUD)
3. Geraldo Seghers (35, D LC, AUD)
5. Jon Verhoeven (31, M C, AUD)
6. Michael Marroquin (32, D LC, AUD)
6. Angelo Buffone (27, D C, AUD)
7. Giulio Campus (21, M RL, AUD)
8. Fabio Puccini (33, F C, AUD)
9. Giacomo Tripodi (25, M LC, AUD)
10. Anders Engstrom (39, M/F C, COS)
11. Alejandro Aretxaga (33, M LC, AUD)
12. Federico Trevino (35, M L, AUD)
13. Stanford Rand (31, G , AUD)
14. Christopher Ortegon (24, D L, AUD)
15. Arlie Papandrea (30, M RL, AUD)
16. Flavio Fugleberg (32, D/M C, AUD)
17. Bruce Cortesi (31, M RL, AUD)
18. Elvis Arteaga (30, M/F LC, AUD)
19. Apal Carpinelli (33, F C, AUD)
21. Edoardo Scicchitano (20, M LC, AUD)
Mng. Renaud Marchand (49, M C, AUD)

Eletti finished bottom of the league last season, yet maintained their top flight status due to the league’s expansion from 10 to 15 clubs via a playoff victory over the second division’s sixth-placed club. Once seen as the powerhouse of the east coast, Artiglieria have since taken that mantle. E.V. almost certainly have the least proven squad in the top flight, with a great deal many of their top players having departed in recent years, but the side remain difficult to play against at home and may just stave off a relegation place. Cosumarite veteran Anders Engstrom will, once again, captain the side.

Burdoc Ridge Thistle
(Ceilerden, Central)

1. Liam McAdams (24, G , AUD)
2. Leif Davidson (24, D R, AUD)
3. Kieran Nielsen (26, D L, AUD)
5. Emmanuel Awuah (30, D C, SEM)
6. Kestryl Morejon (32, D C, AUD)
7. Jean Buchanan-McIntyre (29, M R, AUD)
8. Raadi Bowden (24, AM/F C, EFL)
9. Hannes Van den Hoek (22, F C, AUD)
10. Adam Logan (29, AM/F CL, AUD)
11. Marc Buchanan (32, M L, AUD)
12. William Carr (30, DM C, AUD)
14. Israel Murga (30, AM RC, AUD)
15. Carghan Rolan (36, D LC, AUD)
16. Osvald Johnsen (28, M R, AUD)
17. Archie Hofstede (34, D RC, AUD)
18. Aidan Stuart (26, D C, AUD)
19. Brodie Maloney (25, AM R, AUD)
20. Jude Tomas (32, M/F RL, AUD)
22. Chick McKenzie (21, F C, AUD)
23. Carghan Vale (28, F C, AUD)
Mng. Coalan Bray (56, F C, AUD)

Wee Burdoc won the second division last year, and so will see themselves as best placed to give the top teams a run for their money. The Thistle have always been slightly in the shadow of the teams from nearby Cathair, but enjoy one of the more passionate fan-bases in Audioslavia and, despite meagre resources, should be able to match any of the big teams on their day.

AS Marcadia I Marchetti
(Marcadia, Padia)

1. Jeremy Sedillo (38, G , AUD)
2. Otto Giovannucci (31, D RC, AUD)
3. Tobiasso Bagnato (31, D RL, AUD)
4. Nicolò Gioffre (24, M C, AUD)
5. Xaviar Corvo (35, D C, AUD)
6. Nicola Conetta (23, D C, AUD)
7. Adonis Pizarro (31, AM RC, AUD)
8. Fausto Vigorito (36, AM LC, AUD)
9. Francesco Zini (35, F C, AUD)
10. Nicola Zadra (29, F C, AUD)
11. Pietro Raspa (28, F C, AUD)
12. Nicolò Casassa (27, DM C, AUD)
14. Shannon Martinetti (33, AM RL, AUD)
15. Adolfo De Nicola (28, F C, AUD)
16. Hiro Fangio (28, M C, AUD)
17. Rich Di Vita (31, F C, AUD)
18. Andrea Li Causi (28, D RC, AUD)
19. Simos Arvanitakis (, AM RL, FHU)
20. Salvatore Del Pozzo (22, AM LC, AUD)
21. Eddy Roldan (33, D C, AUD)
22. Brock Cucci (32, F C, AUD)
23. Neal Denis (31, AM RL, AUD)
Mng. Claudio Redondo (61, D C, AUD)

AS Marcadia have been in the top flight before, managing two finishes in the top six and a number of relegation battles - some won, some lost. The side count Artiglieria and Eletti Valligiani among the rivals (especially the latter)

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi The Northern Marauders
(Trentina, Padia)

1. Ibrahim Mathisen (29, G , VAL)
2. Young Sgroi (28, D R, AUD)
3. Christopher Peña (34, D RL, AUD)
5. Gustav Marinussen (29, D CR, VAL)
6. Fredrik Pettersen (20, D C, VAL)
7. Zane Narez (32, M R, AUD)
8. Robert Jégou (24, M/F C, AUD)
9. Dennis Våge (23, F C, VAL)
11. Guillem Rodas (25, D/M L, AUD)
12. Agusteth Denisco (25, AM LC, AUD)
13. Adie Spencer (25, F RC, AUD)
14. Fredrik Skotnes (23, M RL, VAL)
15. Frits Versteeg (25, D C, AUD)
16. Leonardo Accomando (25, D C, AUD)
17. Davide Neri (26, M RL, AUD)
18. Randell Arrizabalaga (24, D C, AUD)
19. Ehoarn Le Tallec (24, AM RC, AUD)
20. Shannon Vanhof (31, D C, AUD)
21. Tyler Armstrong (25, G , AUD)
22. Alfie McGregor (25, F C, AUD)
23. Iker Lucena (25, M/F R, AUD)
24. Celtan Ansotegi (37, G , AUD)
Mng. Axel Tufte (48, VAL)

When the FFA first announced plans to increase the top flight from 10 to 15 clubs, critics started to reel off a list of supposedly ‘undeserving’ teams who could end up playing in the expanded first division. Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, a team founded by immigrants from the dark south-west of Atlantian Oceania, weren’t even on that list. That they’re now a top flight team is a huge surprise, given their modest resources, and yet the side, peppered here and there with previously unheralded Vanorian talent, could well be on their way to causing a shock in the top division.

Isle of Kjeligsted FC The Barbers
(Kjelstad, Kjeligsted)

1. Jamison Pounds (33, G , AUD)
2. Rabih Nabi (28, D R, AUD)
3. Abdus Atiyah (32, D L, AUD)
4. Mubarak Manzanares (25, D/M RC, AUD)
5. Sharifullah Henein (30, D C, AUD)
6. Naqibullah Fakhoury (24, D C, AUD)
7. Aqeel Sayyid (33, AM RL, AUD)
9. Anis Trabelsi (24, F C, AUD)
10. Abd Tayeb (30, F C, AUD)
11. Abid Awan (21, M L, AUD)
12. Nazif Sabri (24, F C, AUD)
13. Nizam Jarrar (32, D/M R, AUD)
14. Salah Hakimi (27, M L, AUD)
15. Ghiyath Sawalha (24, M C, AUD)
16. Amir Muzquiz (21, DM C, AUD)
17. Leo Le Moal (23, D C, AUD)
18. Adham Yasser (31, M C, AUD)
19. Farid Kashif (25, M C, AUD)
20. Munif Habib (36, F C, AUD)
21. Anwar Bracero (18, M/F RL, AUD)
22. Ethan Floch (18, M C, AUD)
Mng. Frantzko Intxausti (63, AUD)

There was a time when Kjeligsted used the wealth of their investors to attract talent to Audioslavia’s northernmost football team. Those days are largely passed. It’s local boys that make up the bulk of the squad these days, and the change has given the side their first top flight berth in history, despite only finishing fourth in division two last year. Veteran manager Frantzko Intxausti thinks he can sneak his side into the top ten. Oddly, there’s nobody laughing at him right now.

Tenth Star Hasiera The Syndicate
(Hasiera, Bas de la Sierra)

1. Paulinho Romã (35, G , WSI)
2. Andre Brammer (31, D R, AUD)
3. Byron Teran (31, D L, AUD)
4. Emmett Highes (28, M C, AUD)
5. Rodney Plath (33, D C, TIS)
6. Geert van Horst (36, D C, TIS)
7. Jean-Pablo Costacurta-Groove (36, M R, ESI)
8. Terrell Bouwman (28, M/F C, AUD)
9. Haywood Toscano (35, F C, AUD)
10. Hans Varas (32, F C, AUD)
11. Naphtali Thatcher (34, M L, BRE)
12. James Metcalf (36, M C, LTN)
13. Anibal Van de Werve (31, G , AUD)
14. Spencer Emberton (28, M/F C, AUD)
17. Jason Palacio-Barrio (28, M R, AUD)
18. Gwenhael Salaun (27, F C, AUD)
19. Eonmhid Carthurst (33, M C, TIS)
20. Gilbert King (31, F C, AUD)
Mng. Rami Levinsky (54, D R, AUD)

Tenth Star Hasiera have had the occasional cup of coffee in the top division of Audioslavian football, but have recently found themselves very much playing second fiddle to increasingly prosperous cross-town rivals Tout-Puissant. Tenth Star, a side founded by immigrants from the former nation of Mertagne, do have one advantage over their rivals - a Series B Champions Cup winner’s medal from two decades ago. The shine my have dulled over the years, but it’s something.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair            9    4   3   2    16   12   +4    15
 2 Cazadores Cathair           5    4   1   0    16   11   +5    13
 3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       8    4   1   3    19   15   +4    13
 4 Oljestaden IF               7    4   0   3    19   13   +6    12
 5 Burdoc Ridge                5    4   0   1    10    4   +6    12
 6 Artiglieria                 5    3   1   1    15   12   +3    10
 7 1830 Cathair                4    3   0   1    12    9   +3     9
 8 Tout-Puissant Hasiera       8    2   3   3    13   15   −2     9
 9 AS Marcadia                 5    2   1   2    15   13   +2     7
10 Silexhera FC                5    2   1   2     9    8   +1     7
11 AC Izotz Zubia              5    2   1   2     8    7   +1     7
12 KT Moreazerua               6    0   4   2    13   15   −2     4
13 Tenth Star Hasiera          7    1   1   5     5   15  −10     4
14 Eletti Valligiani           5    0   3   2     7   10   −3     3
15 Isle of Kjeligsted FC       6    0   0   6     1   19  −18     0

   National Two              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Laranjauzia              9    7   2   0    14    1  +13    23
 2 CdF Celtade                 9    7   1   1    21   10  +11    22
 3 Santa Margarida             9    6   1   2    23   17   +6    19
 4 Necromarinai                9    4   4   1    25   20   +5    16
 5 Iron Brewery                9    4   3   2    19   13   +6    15
 6 KT Itzalovalle              9    4   3   2     7    5   +2    15
 7 Reina Del Sud               9    4   2   3    11    9   +2    14
 8 Excelsior Zijweg            9    4   1   4    13   14   −1    13
 9 CF Herradores               9    3   2   4    16   14   +2    11
10 United Cathair FC           9    3   2   4     8   11   −3    11
11 Uniao Tortuguita            9    3   2   4    19   25   −6    11
12 Viking Halehavn             9    3   1   5     8   11   −3    10
13 The Oran                    9    3   1   5    14   19   −5    10
14 Guerrilla Cathair           9    2   4   3    16   22   −6    10
15 Calcio Lecho                9    2   3   4    10   10    0     9
16 Valens AV                   9    2   3   4     9   12   −3     9
17 Ceilerden Rovers            9    2   3   4     8   14   −6     9
18 Sobrevolante                9    2   2   5    15   17   −2     8
19 KT Ferramendiak             9    2   2   5    13   17   −4     8
20 Sparta Zijweg               9    1   2   6     6   14   −8     5

Biggest Win
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–6 Oljestaden IF

Highest Scoring Match
Eletti Valligiani 4–5 Cazadores Cathair

Biggest Upset
MD1: Burdoc Ridge 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
MD5: AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Notable Results
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 4–2 1830 Cathair

I know, I know. You’re looking at that league table and you’re thinking what on earth is that league table. This, my friends, is the future of football. Ten team leagues necessitate every team playing one another four times. That gets boring.? A fifteen team league would be over after only 24 weeks, right? Well, yes, but not if you do it the Audioslavian way. While the second division sees each team play each other twice, and every team playing every week, the top division sees only a handful of teams fulfil their fixtures every week, with some clubs earning up to five rest-weeks in a row at a time.

Above, we see that reigning champions Shamrock Cathair are top after a quarter of the season, but a closer inspection reveals that they’ve played one game every weekend, while second placed Cazadores are only two poins back, with four games in hand. Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, too, are a little higher in the table than a 4-1-3 record usually permits, but that they have a positive record at all at this point in the season is nothing short of a cause for wild celebration in Trentina. The fact that they also possess an away-win over heavyweights AC Izotz Zubia is also a cause for joy on the eastern coast.

At the bottom, Isle of Kjeligsted’s local boys are nought-for-six so far, while Mozi and EV are also winless. In the middle, powerhouses 1830 Cathair didn’t start their season until week five, yet still sit mid-table. Not a bad feat, but a 4-2 derby hammering by city rivals Cazadores has wiped the smiles off the supporters’ faces for now.

In the second division, KT Laranjauzia lead the way at nine games, the only undefeated side in the second tier. Luja are perhaps the only ‘big’ side left in Audioslavia’s footballing hotbed of Tzierra/Herradura never to have made it to the top flight of Audioslavian football. It’s a fact they are looking to rectify.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               14    8   4   2    34   27   +7    28
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             14    8   3   3    37   26  +11    27
 3 Shamrock Cathair           14    8   3   3    29   18  +11    27
 4 Cazadores Cathair          14    8   1   5    33   29   +4    25
 5 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      14    7   2   5    35   26   +9    23
 6 Artiglieria                14    6   3   5    36   30   +6    21
 7 Silexhera FC               14    6   3   5    22   22    0    21
 8 AS Marcadia                14    5   4   5    32   32    0    19
 9 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      14    5   4   5    23   24   −1    19
10 Burdoc Ridge               14    5   2   7    22   24   −2    17
11 Oljestaden IF              14    5   1   8    25   24   +1    16
12 KT Moreazerua              14    3   7   4    28   28    0    16
13 Eletti Valligiani          14    2   6   6    17   27  −10    12
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      14    3   2   9    12   29  −17    11
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         14    3   1  10    16   35  −19    10

   National Two              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Laranjauzia             19   14   3   2    43   16  +27    45
 2 KT Itzalovalle             19   12   4   3    33   16  +17    40
 3 Santa Margarida            19   12   4   3    49   34  +15    40
 4 CdF Celtade                19   12   3   4    41   25  +16    39
 5 Excelsior Zijweg           19   10   3   6    36   29   +7    33
 6 CF Herradores              19    9   5   5    45   30  +15    32
 7 KT Ferramendiak            19    8   4   7    34   30   +4    28
 8 Iron Brewery               19    7   6   6    41   35   +6    27
 9 Necromarinai               19    6   8   5    49   48   +1    26
10 The Oran                   19    8   2   9    33   36   −3    26
11 Sobrevolante               19    6   4   9    29   27   +2    22
12 Reina Del Sud              19    6   4   9    26   35   −9    22
13 Guerrilla Cathair          19    5   6   8    40   52  −12    21
14 Viking Halehavn            19    5   5   9    15   22   −7    20
15 Valens AV                  19    4   6   9    22   35  −13    18
16 Ceilerden Rovers           19    4   6   9    17   34  −17    18
17 Uniao Tortuguita           19    4   5  10    40   56  −16    17
18 United Cathair FC          19    4   5  10    22   39  −17    17
19 Calcio Lecho               19    3   7   9    16   24   −8    16
20 Sparta Zijweg              19    3   6  10    25   33   −8    15

Biggest win
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 6–2 Eletti Valligiani

Highest Scoring Matches
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 6–2 Eletti Valligiani
AC Izotz Zubia 4–4 KT Moreazerua
Burdoc Ridge 3–5 Tenth Star Hasiera

Biggest Upset
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–1 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 5–1 1830 Cathair

Notable Matches
Cazadores Cathair 3–4 AC Izotz Zubia
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 3–2 Shamrock Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 5–1 1830 Cathair

The half-way stage of the season marks one of only three points wherein all the top-flight sides have played the same number of games - the others being the start and end of the season. Familiar names fill the top four, with the Catharan trident skewering south-easterners AC Izotz Zubia at the summit. They’re so close you could throw a blanket over all of them. What’s strange is that the team closest enough to be flinging said blanket are Calcio Sicurezza Elfi. The Northern Marauders have made an incredible start to their first season of top flight football, with Vanoran striker Dennis Våge and Hasieran-born Robert Jégou the boys behind the coup, scoring and assisting seemingly at will, especially in matchday 14s 6-2 shellacking of Eletti Valligiani. EV, like newcomers Kjeligsted and perennial struggled Tenth Star are slightly adrift at the bottom. Two of these three look to be making the short trip down to division two at the end of the season. A further two teams will be sucked into a relegation playoff, but who has to suffer that is anyone’s guess at the moment.

In twelfth position, KT Moreazerua’s fans are absolutely furious. They are increasingly removed from their golden generation and increasingly seem to be in danger of a return to the second flight for the first time since season 10 of the LigAnaia.

In National Two, Laranjauzia continue to lead the way, while former top-flight stalwarts KT Itzalovalle, a team whose plight in the second division had previously convinced conspiracy theorists that the increase from 10 to 15 teams was solely for Itzi's benefit before the Herradura club spectacularly failed to even finish in the top half of the old division two, find themselves in second place. Fans of the fallen giants are beginning to believe once again.

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:15 pm

The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           23   13   4   6    43   32  +11    43
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             19   12   3   4    50   35  +15    39
 3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      22   10   4   8    51   43   +8    34
 4 Cazadores Cathair          19   10   3   6    43   35   +8    33
 5 1830 Cathair               18    9   5   4    41   35   +6    32
 6 KT Moreazerua              20    8   8   4    39   33   +6    32
 7 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      22    9   5   8    39   38   +1    32
 8 Artiglieria                19    7   5   7    44   40   +4    26
 9 Silexhera FC               19    7   5   7    35   35    0    26
10 Oljestaden IF              21    7   4  10    38   37   +1    25
11 AS Marcadia                19    6   5   8    40   39   +1    23
12 Burdoc Ridge               19    5   3  11    33   40   −7    18
13 Eletti Valligiani          19    3   9   7    25   37  −12    18
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      20    5   3  12    21   39  −18    18
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         21    5   2  14    30   54  −24    17

   National Two              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Laranjauzia             28   20   5   3    63   28  +35    65
 2 CdF Celtade                28   18   4   6    57   37  +20    58
 3 KT Itzalovalle             28   17   6   5    55   26  +29    57
 4 Santa Margarida            28   15   6   7    64   49  +15    51
 5 CF Herradores              28   13   8   7    64   45  +19    47
 6 The Oran                   28   14   3  11    55   53   +2    45
 7 Excelsior Zijweg           28   12   8   8    46   40   +6    44
 8 Iron Brewery               28   11   8   9    61   49  +12    41
 9 KT Ferramendiak            28   12   5  11    55   45  +10    41
10 Necromarinai               28    9  10   9    70   70    0    37
11 Sobrevolante               28   10   6  12    44   35   +9    36
12 Reina Del Sud              28   10   6  12    39   50  −11    36
13 Viking Halehavn            28    9   8  11    35   42   −7    35
14 Guerrilla Cathair          28    9   6  13    59   71  −12    33
15 Uniao Tortuguita           28    7   7  14    55   76  −21    28
16 United Cathair FC          28    6   7  15    31   55  −24    25
17 Calcio Lecho               28    5   9  14    28   45  −17    24
18 Sparta Zijweg              28    4  11  13    37   49  −12    23
19 Valens AV                  28    5   8  15    29   53  −24    23
20 Ceilerden Rovers           28    4   9  15    25   54  −29    21

Biggest Win
AS Marcadia 6–2 Shamrock Cathair

Highest Scoring Match
Tenth Star Hasiera 7–4 Eletti Valligiani

Biggest Upset
AS Marcadia 6–2 Shamrock Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–1 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 1–2 Isle of Kjeligsted FC

Notable Matches
Cazadores Cathair 1–2 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–1 1830 Cathair
Silexhera FC 5–5 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
1830 Cathair 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

With the third quarter’s fixtures being a mirror of the first quarter’s, Shamrock Cathair know they have the chance to build a psychological gap between them and their title rivals. Losing 6-2 to AS Marcadia and providing Isle of Kjeligsted with their fifth win of the season wasn’t quite in Rohan Cammers’s plans. Shamrock do lead in matchweek 28, but it’s by just four points over AC Izotz Zubia, who have four games to bridge that gap before the end of the season. Calcio Sizurezza Elfi’s dream season continues, sneaking into third place, albeit with fewer games to go as their rivals. Two points separates third from seventh just now, but the capital duo of Cazadores and 1830 Cathair are the best placed to strike.

At the bottom, Tenth Star, Kjeligsted, EV and Burdoc Ridge are all off the pace. Two will be relegated automatically. The two who keep their heads above water will be going into a relegation playoff.

In the National Two, Laranjauzia remain top. With nine games to go, they’re looking nailed on to make their top-flight bow next season. Itzalovalle, after three seasons away from a top flight they’d spent their entire existence in previously, are fighting it out for second place with Celtade and relative newbies Santa Margarida, one of an influx of teams from the Lusophone north east.

Matchday 29
Burdoc Ridge 0–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Artiglieria 1–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
Silexhera FC 3–2 KT Moreazerua
AS Marcadia 3–3 Cazadores Cathair
Eletti Valligiani 0–1 1830 Cathair

Matchday 30
1830 Cathair 2–3 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Silexhera FC
KT Moreazerua 4–0 Artiglieria
Tenth Star Hasiera 4–6 Burdoc Ridge
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           23   13   4   6    43   32  +11    43
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             20   13   3   4    52   35  +17    42
 3 Cazadores Cathair          21   11   4   6    47   38   +9    37
 4 KT Moreazerua              22    9   8   5    45   36   +9    35
 5 1830 Cathair               20   10   5   5    44   38   +6    35
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      24   10   5   9    41   40   +1    35
 7 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      22   10   4   8    51   43   +8    34
 8 Silexhera FC               21    8   5   8    38   38    0    29
 9 AS Marcadia                21    7   6   8    46   44   +2    27
10 Artiglieria                21    7   6   8    45   45    0    27
11 Oljestaden IF              21    7   4  10    38   37   +1    25
12 Burdoc Ridge               21    6   3  12    39   46   −7    21
13 Eletti Valligiani          20    3   9   8    25   38  −13    18
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      20    5   3  12    21   39  −18    18
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         23    5   3  15    35   61  −26    18

Matchday 29’s midweek fixtures include a barnstormer on the east coast. AS Marcadia’s hopes of securing UICA football may be over, and the side are well clear of the relegation battle, but that doesn’t stop them thrice coming back from a goal down. The creativity of young midfielders Salvatore del Pozzo and Simos Arvanitakis is what brings Marcadia from the brink, with striker Nicola Zadra benefitting from their insightful passing twice. Cazadores are missing the game-changing abilities of departed striker Desya Kuznetsov, and it shows here as they fail to take three much needed points. Cathair leapfrog them by beating Eletti Valligiani by a solitary Pristina Shine goal to nil.

At the weekend, Marcadia’s goalscoring form continues as Zadra’s third brace in two games and Pozzo’s winner shock Cathair at home to cap off a week the capital clubs would rather forget. Relegation-threatened Burdoc Ridge look on, take inspiration, double it, and scunner high-flying Tout-Puissant Hasiera by six goals to four away from home to lift them three much needed points above their relegation threatened rivals. At the top, Cazadores Cathair’s Cosumarite teenager Dane Prigeon heads home deep into stoppage time to rescue three points against mid-table Silexhera to jump back into third place.

Matchday 31
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 2–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 4–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Burdoc Ridge 2–3 KT Moreazerua
Artiglieria 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Silexhera FC 1–5 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–2 Eletti Valligiani

Matchday 32
Eletti Valligiani 1–2 Silexhera FC
1830 Cathair 2–2 Artiglieria
Cazadores Cathair 3–2 Burdoc Ridge
KT Moreazerua 1–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–4 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–1 Oljestaden IF

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             22   15   3   4    59   36  +23    48
 2 Shamrock Cathair           23   13   4   6    43   32  +11    43
 3 Cazadores Cathair          23   12   5   6    51   41  +10    41
 4 1830 Cathair               22   11   6   5    51   41  +10    39
 5 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      26   11   6   9    45   43   +2    39
 6 KT Moreazerua              24   10   8   6    49   41   +8    38
 7 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      22   10   4   8    51   43   +8    34
 8 Silexhera FC               23    9   5   9    41   44   −3    32
 9 Artiglieria                23    7   8   8    48   48    0    29
10 AS Marcadia                22    7   6   9    47   46   +1    27
11 Oljestaden IF              22    7   4  11    39   39    0    25
12 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      22    6   4  12    27   43  −16    22
13 Burdoc Ridge               23    6   3  14    43   52   −9    21
14 Eletti Valligiani          22    4   9   9    28   41  −13    21
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         25    5   3  17    37   69  −32    18

KT Moreazerua are desperate for UICA football again after so many years off the pace, and though Marco van Ciavatinni and Joan Nonhagatte’s hard work in midfield brings them victory over Burdoc Ridge, a crushing home defeat to local rivals AC Izotz Zubia drops them further behind their rivals with just four games left to play. Zozi’s derby win comes after a 4-0 thrashing of stricken Tenth Star Hasiera, with Hawk, Valrauncion and the like doing their thing for the 8-time national champions. Zozi’s form sees them leapfrog Shamrock Cathair and race into a five-point lead in the championship, with none of the Cathair clubs able to keep the pace. 1830 Cathair, 5-1 winners at SIlexhera through va Drake’s playmaking and Ceballos’s experience, are held to a two-all draw against a very ordinary looking Artiglieria, who equalize at the death through Menderchuk, to the frustration of the capital club’s supporters.

Matchday 33
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Oljestaden IF 5–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 3–4 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Burdoc Ridge 1–3 1830 Cathair
Artiglieria 2–2 Eletti Valligiani
Silexhera FC 2–2 AS Marcadia

Matchday 34
AS Marcadia 5–3 Artiglieria
Eletti Valligiani 1–2 Burdoc Ridge
1830 Cathair 4–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 1–3 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
KT Moreazerua 1–3 Oljestaden IF
Tenth Star Hasiera 4–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–1 Shamrock Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             24   15   4   5    63   41  +22    49
 2 1830 Cathair               24   13   6   5    58   45  +13    45
 3 Shamrock Cathair           24   13   4   7    44   35   +9    43
 4 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28   12   7   9    50   46   +4    43
 5 Cazadores Cathair          25   12   6   7    53   45   +8    42
 6 KT Moreazerua              26   11   8   7    54   47   +7    41
 7 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      24   10   5   9    55   49   +6    35
 8 Silexhera FC               24    9   6   9    43   46   −3    33
 9 Oljestaden IF              24    9   4  11    47   42   +5    31
10 AS Marcadia                24    8   7   9    54   51   +3    31
11 Artiglieria                25    7   9   9    53   55   −2    30
12 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      24    7   4  13    33   48  −15    25
13 Burdoc Ridge               25    7   3  15    46   56  −10    24
14 Eletti Valligiani          24    4  10  10    31   45  −14    22
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         27    6   3  18    43   76  −33    21

The Elf emerges from their late-season hibernation to find the Hasiera brothers stood over them. Tout-Puissant Hasiera nudges them to check if they’re still alive and, finding they’re reasonably capable, Tenth Star Hasiera bashes them in the head before skulking off to another forest. Tenth Star, bottom of the league, three points adrift with only one game left to play, need to win that game by around twenty goals and hope each of the seven games their rivals have left to play results in a loss. They’re down. Also down, but in a more depression and anger sense rather than a physical one, are league leaders AC Izotz Zubia. Held at home by Cazadores thanks to Julio Sokolov’s annoying ability to seemingly score a header from any conceivable angle or position, they are then turned over by Hazel van Robben’s annoying ability to turn back the clock to five years ago, when she was still really good at football. An excellent, end-to-end encounter sees Cathair win to close the gap at the top to just four points. Shamrock remain third despite losing to Tout-Puissant Hasiera in what is, weirdly, TPH’s final game of the season. A cheeky four-match unbeaten run leaves the side in fourth place. From here they must wait and hope that neither the Northern Marauders, Academicals or Oilers can score the necessary points over their final four games to topple them from the Globe Cup spots.

Such a run would rather put the willies up Mozi, who are dragging their carcass to the final Globe Cup place, sneaking a victory over bottom-feeding Isle of Kjeligsted before losing meekly at home to Oljestaden IF.

Matchday 35
Shamrock Cathair 5–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–3 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–0 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 3–2 Eletti Valligiani
Burdoc Ridge 2–0 AS Marcadia
Artiglieria 3–1 Silexhera FC

Matchday 36
Silexhera FC 4–1 Burdoc Ridge
AS Marcadia 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Eletti Valligiani 1–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
1830 Cathair 3–4 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Moreazerua 2–0 Shamrock Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             26   16   4   6    68   46  +22    52
 2 Shamrock Cathair           26   14   4   8    49   37  +12    46
 3 Cazadores Cathair          27   13   7   7    57   48   +9    46
 4 1830 Cathair               26   13   6   7    61   50  +11    45
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   12   8   8    59   51   +8    44
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28   12   7   9    50   46   +4    43
 7 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      26   11   5  10    60   54   +6    38
 8 Silexhera FC               26   10   6  10    48   50   −2    36
 9 Oljestaden IF              26   10   5  11    53   47   +6    35
10 AS Marcadia                26    9   7  10    57   55   +2    34
11 Artiglieria                26    8   9   9    56   56    0    33
12 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      26    8   4  14    34   49  −15    28
13 Burdoc Ridge               27    8   3  16    49   60  −11    27
14 Eletti Valligiani          26    5  10  11    34   48  −14    25
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         28    6   3  19    43   81  −38    21

Tenth Star Hasiera are put out of their misery spectacularly by Alexander Crewe and Coco Le Quellec as Shamrock take a big stride forward in their quest for the title. AC Izotz Zubia maintain the gap, defeating another struggler in Eletti Valligiani. All that’s left to complete a top-three sweep over the bottom three is for 1830 Cathair to beat Isle of Kjeligsted. Anis Trabelsi’s fifth minute strike confounds the ten-time national champions, who fail to find the reply despite the lion’s share of possession and the hunter’s share of shots at the target. You can put a fork in Cathair’s title ambitions: they are done.

This is exactly what Oljestaden IF do the next week, sticking Cathair four times, three courtesy of striker Tofer Kahlor, An unlikely loss for AC Izot Zubia to mid-table AS Marcadia (Nicola Zadra, predictably, scored the winning goal) makes no difference to the Faeron Soldarian’s Teatimers, who now lie seven points back with only two games left to play. Cathair will, once again, be watching another team lift the trophy instead of themselves. It probably won’t be another Cathair team. Cazadores grab four points over the two matchdays, but require a thirteen-goal swing over two games in order to stop Zozi marching to the title. Shamrock, toothless in defeat to a Moreazerua side cementing their place in the top five, ‘only’ need a ten goal swing.

One solitary point for AC Izotz Zubia would secure the salmon and silvers their ninth national championship - a record-extending fourth in the modern era.

Matchday 37
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 4–1 Eletti Valligiani
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–2 AS Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 Silexhera FC
Burdoc Ridge 1–1 Artiglieria

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             27   16   5   6    68   46  +22    53
 2 1830 Cathair               27   14   6   7    62   50  +12    48
 3 Shamrock Cathair           27   14   5   8    51   39  +12    47
 4 Cazadores Cathair          28   13   8   7    59   50   +9    47
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   12   8   8    59   51   +8    44
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28   12   7   9    50   46   +4    43
 7 Oljestaden IF              27   11   5  11    57   48   +9    38
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      27   11   5  11    60   55   +5    38
 9 AS Marcadia                27   10   7  10    59   56   +3    37
10 Silexhera FC               27   10   7  10    48   50   −2    37
11 Artiglieria                27    8  10   9    57   57    0    34
12 Burdoc Ridge               28    8   4  16    50   61  −11    28
13 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      27    8   4  15    35   51  −16    28
14 Eletti Valligiani          27    5  10  12    35   52  −17    25
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         28    6   3  19    43   81  −38    21

AC Izotz Zubia 0-0 Silexhera FC. After years of capitulations and three-way title races and last ditch winners and generally hollywood finishes to seasons, Zozi clinch the title by boring the ever loving toss out of everyone in viewing range. None of the team’s legion of fans care the slightest: AC Izotz Zubia are crowned champions for the third time in four seasons.

As for the rest of the league, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was all over. At the bottom, Eletti Valligiani are a win away from possibly staying up, but the side have won only five games all season and need Isle of Kjeligsted to get nothing against fellow ex-national team Silexhera FC. At the top, all three teams from 4th to 6th have played all their games, securing Globe Cup football above chasing Oljestaden, who are five points behind with three to play for, while the top three all have just one to go. The season is over, surely? There’s no way anything could change…

Matchday 38

Artiglieria 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Silexhera FC 2–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
AS Marcadia 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Eletti Valligiani 4–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
1830 Cathair 4–0 Shamrock Cathair

FINAL TABLE
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             28   16   6   6    69   47  +22    54
 2 1830 Cathair               28   15   6   7    66   50  +16    51
 3 Cazadores Cathair          28   13   8   7    59   50   +9    47
 4 Shamrock Cathair           28   14   5   9    51   43   +8    47
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   12   8   8    59   51   +8    44
 6 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28   12   7   9    50   46   +4    43
 7 Oljestaden IF              28   12   5  11    59   49  +10    41
 8 Silexhera FC               28   11   7  10    50   51   −1    40
 9 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      28   11   5  12    62   59   +3    38
10 AS Marcadia                28   10   7  11    60   58   +2    37
11 Artiglieria                28    8  11   9    58   58    0    35
12 Burdoc Ridge               28    8   4  16    50   61  −11    28
13 Eletti Valligiani          28    6  10  12    39   54  −15    28
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      28    8   4  16    36   53  −17    28
15 Tenth Star Hasiera         28    6   3  19    43   81  −38    21

…unless 1830 Cathair utterly thrash cross-town rivals Shamrock. A year after being crowned champions for the first time, Shamrock are humiliated by their richer friends from across town and drop into the Globe Cup. Cazadores, watching on TV, watch with glee as Shamrock drop below them on goal difference.

At the bottom, Isle of Kjeligsted briefly lead against Silexhera, but goals from Estanche and Yansway condemn the northerners to defeat, and they can only watch in horror as Eletti Valligiani leapfrog them into thirteenth via victory over Calcio Sicurezza Elfi.

Matchday 39
Burdoc Ridge vs CdF Celtade - 3-1
Eletti Valligiani vs Santa Margarida - 0-1

Matchday 40
Burdoc Ridge vs Santa Margarida - 1-0
Eletti Valligiani vs CdF Celtade - 3-3

Matchday 41Burdoc Ridge vs Eletti Valligiani - 2-1
CdF Celtade vs Santa Margarida - 4-4

Playoff Table

					P	W	D	L	F	A	Pts
Burdoc Ridge			3	2	1	0	6	2	7	Remains in the National League
Santa Margarida		3	1	1	1	5	5	4	Promoted to the National League
————————————————————————————
CdF Celtade			3	0	2	1	7.    10	2	Remains in the National Two
Eletti Valligiani			3	0	1	2	4	6	1	Relegated to the National Two

CdF Celtade can’t manage to replicate their cup heroics. A 3-1 defeat by a confident Burdoc Ridge means they require a perfect final two games, but can find only two extra points, away to EV and at home to Santa Margarida, to finish third. Santa Margarida, a relatively new addition to the league, are promoted much to their supporters’ surprise, while Burdoc Ridge will once again play in the National League next season.

1 KT Koroatuz                         40   34   4   2    87   17  +70   106 Promoted
 2 Bombarralense                       40   29   8   3    91   28  +63    95 Promoted
 3 Crossport Mariners                  40   28   8   4    83   27  +56    92 Promoted
 4 Laranjeiras                         40   27   7   6    75   29  +46    88 Promoted
 5 Corações                            40   27   6   7    61   26  +35    87
 6 C.D. Portobranco                    40   27   4   9    77   37  +40    85
 7 DDM Dunas Secas                     40   25   8   7    60   31  +29    83
 8 Valão                               40   24  10   6    80   30  +50    82
 9 Kitherwell                          40   25   7   8    75   27  +48    82
10 Hibernação                          40   24   8   8    71   25  +46    80
11 Sporting Clube Marinheiros          40   23  11   6    66   31  +35    80
12 Alistoun Academicals                40   25   3  12    70   34  +36    78
13 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías      40   22  11   7    62   28  +34    77
14 Crossport Dynamo                    40   20  13   7    56   33  +23    73
15 Osarese Marcadia                    40   21   6  13    75   41  +34    69
16 Ceilerden Rovers                    40   19  12   9    65   39  +26    69
17 Huiszwalluw FC                      40   20   8  12    64   44  +20    68
18 CdFS Ilheiros                       40   20   8  12    62   42  +20    68
19 KT Kanpoldelko                      40   20   8  12    59   39  +20    68
20 SC Laivanrakentajas                 40   18   9  13    61   41  +20    63
21 Orquideas                           40   20   3  17    65   49  +16    63
22 Lemmitania State FC                 40   17  10  13    65   44  +21    61
23 Frecce                              40   17   9  14    67   39  +28    60
24 Shires Owls                         40   17   5  18    62   53   +9    56
25 Vidrieros                           40   17   4  19    61   58   +3    55
26 2130 Calolziolungho                 40   15   8  17    52   41  +11    53
27 KT Ferratzaileak                    40   15   5  20    56   48   +8    50
28 Clockwork FC                        40   13  10  17    71   55  +16    49
29 Cerejeiras                          40   13   6  21    57   50   +7    45
30 CF Cruceros                         40   12   6  22    68   51  +17    42
31 Valderantia United                  40   12   6  22    58   55   +3    42
32 Ross Railway                        40    7   3  30    30  140 −110    24
33 PLFC                                40    6   3  31    30  120  −90    21
34 Steelworks                          40    1  13  26     8   68  −60    16
35 Maccabi Hasiera                     40    4   4  32    11   95  −84    16
36 Glasgar Royals                      40    4   3  33     9  101  −92    15
37 Fundición                           40    1  11  28     7   99  −92    14
38 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz            40    3   5  32     9  109 −100    14
39 Shires Blaydes                      40    3   3  34    19  101  −82    12
40 Glasgar Rebels                      40    3   2  35    17  100  −83    11
41 Viking Hryggur                      40    1   4  35    12  109  −97     7

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:23 pm

Season 8
Kirola Cup

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Dec 15, 2019 6:43 pm

Season 9

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Dec 15, 2019 6:58 pm

Matchday 1
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 4–2 Silexhera FC
AS Marcadia 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 5–3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Artiglieria 2–1 Shamrock Cathair

AC Izotz Zubia announce their intent with a thumping 4-2 win over Silexhera in which Laborious Hawk and Valrauncion score a brace each. Laranjauzia’s initiation into the big time ends with a credible performance but a home defeat to Moreazerua thanks to a goal from Nonhagatte.

Matchday 2
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–3 Artiglieria
KT Moreazerua 3–4 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Silexhera FC 2–1 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 1830 Cathair

Last year’s runners-up 1830 Cathair kick the season off with a local derby against last season’s third-placed Cazadores. Lee Sharp’s first game in charge of the 10-time champions is a tense and scrappy encounter in which new signing Dean Sharp, son of Lee, scores the only goal to separate the two teams.
Laranjauzia lose their second local derby in a row, before the evening game has an exciting Calcio Sicurezza team lose their second hum-dinger in a week. There have been thirteen goals in their only two games so far.

Matchday 3
Burdoc Ridge 0–0 Cazadores Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 2–1 Silexhera FC
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Artiglieria 1–1 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 2–4 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Sicurezza finally win and take their record to nineteen goals scored by both sides in their three matches, while Laranhauzia score a hard-earned victory over Silexhera, with Domeka Zabala and Gaizka scoring the goals.
On a week with neither Cathair nor Zozi performing, the main event is Tout-Puissant Hasiera’s visit of KT Itzalovalle. Two sides noted for their defensive football provide a quiet game in which Metan Cordean scores the only goal.

Matchday 4
KT Moreazerua 3–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Artiglieria
Silexhera FC 2–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 1–1 Burdoc Ridge

Sharp’s Cathair are booed off at full time as they fail to get all three points against Burdoc Ridge, with Raadi Bowden netting a late equaliser to punish a wasteful Elders side. The next day, Cazadores fail to beat Oljestaden in similar circumstances, with Pridgeon, Sokolov and Vidal all wasteful in front of goal and Brady D’Etcheverry popping up at the last to seal a point for the visitors.
The marquee game sees Mozi thrash Shamrock by three goals to one, with Nonhagatte pulling the strings in midfield and Konoval, Jan and Lisco netting the goals for the men in purple.

Matchday 5
Oljestaden IF 1–1 1830 Cathair
Santa Margarida 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Artiglieria 2–1 Silexhera FC
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–1 KT Moreazerua

There’s more frustration for Cathair as they fail to take the three points yet again, this time with Oljestaden the spoilers, taking a one-goal lead through Nwapa only to be pegged back by a late strike from Winròuge. Cross-town rivals Cazadores and Shamrock have an easier time of it, with Cazadores ruining Santa Margarida’s ‘first game in the top division’ party and Shamrock running riot against Itzalovalle.

Matchday 6
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Silexhera FC 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 3–3 Santa Margarida
Burdoc Ridge 4–3 Oljestaden IF

Santa Margarida’s first game in the top flight may have been a disappointment, but there’s cause for celebration on their first visit to the capital as they come back from a goal down three times to gain a credible point from the Kirola Arena. Shamrock defeat Silexhera, but there’s disappointment in the western quarter of the capital as Cazadores lose out to Izotz Zubia thanks to a solitary header from Laborious Hawk

Matchday 7
Santa Margarida 1–1 Burdoc Ridge
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–2 Silexhera FC
KT Moreazerua 3–0 KT Itzalovalle

Santa Margarida get another point, holding Thistle at home, while Mozi take a big derby win at home to Itzalovalle, with Nerman, Nonhagatte and Hreidarsson all on the scoresheet.

The big match of the weekend is, of course, AC Izotz Zubia versus 1830 Cathair. The Derby of Audioslavia ends goal-less. It’s perhaps the worst one in living memory and confines Cathair to a run of four games without a win.

Matchday 8
Silexhera FC 2–2 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 KT Laranjauzia
1830 Cathair 1–3 AS Marcadia
Burdoc Ridge 3–6 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 2–3 Santa Margarida

Four becomes five as Cathair slump to an embarassing home defeat at AS Marcadia, who by now are well ahead of Cathair in the table despite playing two fewer games. Pressure mounts on new manager Lee Sharp, whose team are struggling in the early going.

Holders Zozi continue to go from strength to strength, smashing Burdoc Ridge by six goals to three in a ludicrous game at the Jaffacake Stadium

Matchday 9
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 4–3 Oljestaden IF
AS Marcadia 2–0 Burdoc Ridge
KT Laranjauzia 2–3 1830 Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–3 Cazadores Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Silexhera FC

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia              5    4   1   0    15    8   +7    13
 2 Artiglieria                 5    4   1   0     9    5   +4    13
 3 Silexhera FC                9    4   1   4    13   14   −1    13
 4 KT Moreazerua               7    3   2   2    14   12   +2    11
 5 AS Marcadia                 5    3   1   1     8    4   +4    10
 6 1830 Cathair                7    2   4   1    10   10    0    10
 7 Cazadores Cathair           8    2   3   3     6    6    0     9
 8 KT Itzalovalle              8    3   0   5     5   10   −5     9
 9 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       6    2   0   4    15   15    0     6
10 Tout-Puissant Hasiera       5    2   0   3    11   12   −1     6
11 KT Laranjauzia              5    2   0   3     5    6   −1     6
12 Shamrock Cathair            5    2   0   3     8   10   −2     6
13 Burdoc Ridge                6    1   3   2     9   13   −4     6
14 Santa Margarida             4    1   2   1     7    7    0     5
15 Oljestaden IF               5    0   2   3    10   13   −3     2

Under-fire Lee Sharp gets little respite from his critics as his side labour to victory over Laranjauzia for only their second win of the season. At the top of the table, Zozi twice come back from two goals down to snatch victory from a game Oljestaden who remain rooted to the bottom with zero wins from five.

The surprise package thus far is Artiglieria, whose midfield duo of Matt Branch and Jordan Nancarrow have been formidable. Despite not playing on matchday nine, Artiglieria remain second ahead of Silexhera, who are the only team to have played on every matchday so far.

Matchday 10
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Artiglieria
1830 Cathair 2–3 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Burdoc Ridge 0–0 KT Laranjauzia
Oljestaden IF 5–4 AS Marcadia
Santa Margarida 2–3 AC Izotz Zubia

1830 Cathair’s Euran contingent bear the brunt of the home side’s abuse as they fall 3-2 to a very ordinary Tout-Puissant Hasiera side, who crush a Cathair fightback from two goals down to steal the game at the death through Iaaki Lacouague’s long range strike. Cathair, with only two wins from eight games, are in terrible form and all signs point to Lee Sharp being let go if he can’t find turn things around quickly. Fortunately for him, his side don’t have any long breaks coming up wherein the owners might seek to make a change. It’s understood that he has until the halfway stage to sort his team out.

Elsewhere, Zozi continue their fine form, defeating a spirited Santa Margarida away thanks to goals from Nicola Zadra and Ingþór Auðbjörnsson. Artiglieria continue to chase at the top, scoring an impressive victory over Cazadores from a Menderchuk penalty, whereas the game of the day is a nine-goal barnstormer that finally sees Oljestaden get something in the W column.

Matchday 11
AS Marcadia 4–5 Santa Margarida
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Burdoc Ridge
Artiglieria 1–4 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair

Artiglieria’s winning run is halted with interest by Cathair, whose new-look lineup includes Puristina Shinra and Zlatan Natividad leading the line up front. Both get on the scoresheet in the 4-1 away win.

AS Marcadia lose 5-4 for the second week in a row, so their fans are getting their money’s worth, at least, while Oljestaden manage to put another point on the board, so good for them.

The marquee match this week is the ‘other’ Cathair derby between Cazadores and Shamrock. Neither side have got a handle on this season yet and it shows in a scrappy encounter. Rook Cathar’s Cazadores twice take the lead through Olimpia Vidal, but are reduced to 10 and then 9 men as first Nestor Martinez and then Matthew Ingold are sent from the field for repeated fouling. Shamrock barely manage to make a dent in 9-man Cathair, but do manage to get a share of the points in the last minute via a disastrous clearance attempt from Sergio Belen who, in trying to hook a waist-high ball clear of his own six yard box, only succeds in booting the ball into his own face and falling over as it rebounds into the bottom corner.

Matchday 12
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
1830 Cathair 2–0 Shamrock Cathair
Burdoc Ridge 4–2 Artiglieria
Oljestaden IF 0–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Santa Margarida 5–3 KT Laranjauzia
AC Izotz Zubia 4–3 AS Marcadia

Shamrock are woefully ineffective in their second derby of the week, tamely giving up all three points to a rejuvenated 1830 Cathair team, for whom Rickson Marañón is on top form, creating one goal and scoring the other. AC Izotz Zubia continue their pattern of win one week, take the next week off, beating an AS Marcadia team that has a thing for narrow yet high-scoring defeats.

At the bottom, Santa Margarida take victory over fellow newcomers KT Laranjauzia.

Matchday 13
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–3 Santa Margarida
Artiglieria 3–3 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 3–3 Burdoc Ridge
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3–3 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Cazadores Cathair

Cathair’s comeback is halted in its tracks by a CSE side that simply refuse to lose, coming back from two goals and then one goal down to take a point from Cathair’s visit, before Saturday evening’s game sees Zozi similarly drop points away to Laranjauzia.

On a weekend of six and two goal draws, Santa Margarida are the only club to take a win, beating a TPH side that continue to blow hot and cold.

Matchday 14
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
1830 Cathair 2–0 KT Moreazerua
Burdoc Ridge 4–3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Shamrock Cathair
Santa Margarida 2–2 Artiglieria
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AS Marcadia 1–0 KT Laranjauzia

Cathair bounce back to boss their game with Moreazerua while Zozi again struggle to break down a resolute defence marshalled by national team player Jean-Michel Boiteux.

Matchday 15
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 AS Marcadia
Artiglieria 3–5 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Santa Margarida
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–3 Oljestaden IF
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Burdoc Ridge
KT Itzalovalle 1–2 1830 Cathair
Silexhera FC 0–2 Cazadores Cathair

It’s a good day for the capital as all its teams win, 1830 the most impressive as they defeat a typically stingy Itzalovalle side, scoring goals through Torquil Robie and Pristina Shine, now back in the first time at the expense of near-namesake Shinra.

Matchday 16
1830 Cathair 1–0 Silexhera FC
Burdoc Ridge 4–0 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 2–2 KT Moreazerua
Santa Margarida 2–5 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
AS Marcadia 2–1 Artiglieria
KT Laranjauzia 2–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Another good day for Cathair, with both teams winning and Cazadores having a much needed rest weekend. Shamrock’s away win over AC Izotz Zubia, their only goal coming from new signing Rosewing, is something of a shock, putting pressure on Patrick Courtois to put things right.

Matchday 17
Artiglieria 2–1 KT Laranjauzia
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 AS Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 3–0 Santa Margarida
KT Itzalovalle 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Silexhera FC 2–2 Burdoc Ridge

Things are not yet right. Two defeats from two keeps Zozi two points behind Cathair at the top, who have played two more games than their cross-country rivals.

Matchday 18
Oljestaden IF 1–2 Silexhera FC
Santa Margarida 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 4–3 KT Moreazerua
AS Marcadia 0–4 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Laranjauzia 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 4–1 Artiglieria

Zozi steal a pulsating derby right at the end, converting a 1-3 deficit into a 4-3 win over the final fifteen minutes so leapfrog Cathair at the top of the league with only game left to play.

Matchday 19
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–3 KT Laranjauzia
KT Moreazerua 2–4 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Silexhera FC 1–0 Santa Margarida

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             14    8   4   2    34   24  +10    28
 2 1830 Cathair               14    7   5   2    26   18   +8    26
 3 AS Marcadia                14    8   1   5    29   26   +3    25
 4 Burdoc Ridge               14    5   7   2    28   24   +4    22
 5 Shamrock Cathair           14    6   3   5    18   18    0    21
 6 Artiglieria                14    6   3   5    25   30   −5    21
 7 Silexhera FC               14    6   2   6    18   20   −2    20
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      14    5   2   7    35   32   +3    17
 9 KT Moreazerua              14    4   5   5    26   26    0    17
10 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      14    5   2   7    24   25   −1    17
11 KT Itzalovalle             14    5   1   8     9   18   −9    16
12 Cazadores Cathair          14    3   6   5    12   12    0    15
13 Oljestaden IF              14    3   6   5    27   29   −2    15
14 Santa Margarida            14    4   3   7    26   31   −5    15
15 KT Laranjauzia             14    3   4   7    16   20   −4    13

There are only two Champions’ Cup spots available to Audioslavian teams this season, and it’ll come as no surprise at all that Zozi and Cathair are the two teams occupying those spots at the halfway stage.

Below, Marcadia and Burdoc Ridge surely couldn’t have expected to be in the top four at the start of the season, but here they both are.

With three wins over the course of fourteen games, Cazadores Cathair are in big trouble. Caza, supposedly Audioslavia’s best team according to the UICA rankings (at time of writing), sit in twelfth place with just three wins from fourteen games thus far.

Matchday 20
Silexhera FC 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Itzalovalle 4–1 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Artiglieria

With Cathair having the weekend off, AS Marcadia have the chance to leap up to second place, a point behind Zozi who labour to a draw in Saturday’s early kickoff. Marcadia emphatically do not seize their chance. Struggling Itzalovalle run riot, with Metan Cordean the hero.

Elsewhere, Moreazerua overcome stricken Larajauzia to propel themselves further towards the top five.

Matchday 21
Artiglieria 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–2 KT Moreazerua
KT Laranjauzia 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 1–2 Silexhera FC
1830 Cathair 2–1 Cazadores Cathair

1830 Cathair’s victory in the Cathair Derby on Sunday puts Audioslavia’s most famous club back at the top of the table, with Zozi out of action. AS Marcadia continue to fall off the pace, losing in the dying seconds to Silexhera FC via Daineri full-back Ysaak’s far-post diving header.

Matchday 22
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Burdoc Ridge
Silexhera FC 0–0 KT Laranjauzia
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 4–3 Artiglieria
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–2 Shamrock Cathair

Shamrock continue to make quiet progress, if ‘quiet’ is the right word. Manager Rohan Cammers celebrates Alexander Crewe’s winner by playfully garotting the team’s physio with his tie, resulting in the home side’s physio begrudgingly helping to resuscitate the stricken medic.

Matchday 23
Shamrock Cathair 2–3 KT Moreazerua
Artiglieria 1–4 KT Itzalovalle
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–0 Silexhera FC
Oljestaden IF 2–4 Cazadores Cathair
Burdoc Ridge 1–0 1830 Cathair

Burdoc Ridge are still keeping pace at the top, and an upset home victory over leaders Cathair means the league is still wide open, despite challengers Shamrock being overcome by a Moreazerua team blowing hot and cold this season.

Matchday 24
1830 Cathair 3–0 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Santa Margarida
Silexhera FC 1–1 Artiglieria
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Cathair are back to winning ways via thumping victory over Oljestaden, with Zlatan Natividad twice on the scoresheet. Shamrock keep pace, sneaking another victory via Crewe’s keen eye for goal.

Matchday 25
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–0 KT Itzalovalle
Shamrock Cathair 3–0 Silexhera FC
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 Cazadores Cathair
Santa Margarida 0–4 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Burdoc Ridge

Zozi, Shamrock and Cathair take convincing victories on the twenty-fifth matchday, and its these three who look most likely to make a serious title challenge going into the tail end of the season.

Zozi, champions in three out of the last four seasons, have two games in hand over their rivals with a similar amount of points. 1830 Cathair haven’t been national champions since Season 3, and have had to watch both their city rivals Shamrock and Cazadores take the titles in the intervening years. The side are desperate for the nation’s biggest prize.

Matchday 26
Burdoc Ridge 0–1 Santa Margarida
1830 Cathair 2–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
Silexhera FC 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 KT Moreazerua

A sterling Cathair performance puts their biggest rivals to the sword in the Derby of Audioslavia, with Pristina Shine and near-namesake Puristina Shinra on target for the capital club either side of Laborious Hawk’s headed response.

Cathair’s lead at the top is far from insurmountable, with Zozi still maintaining two games in hand, but it’s certainly the Teatimers who are in the ascendency.

The Globe Cup spots could still go to anyone at this stage, while at the bottom Laranjauzia are in danger of dropping completely off the pace, despite their game(s) in hand on their relegation rivals.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               19   11   5   3    37   21  +16    38
 2 Shamrock Cathair           19   10   3   6    27   22   +5    33
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             17    9   5   3    39   28  +11    32
 4 KT Moreazerua              20    8   7   5    38   34   +4    31
 5 Silexhera FC               21    8   5   8    24   29   −5    29
 6 Burdoc Ridge               18    6   8   4    30   27   +3    26
 7 KT Itzalovalle             21    8   2  11    18   24   −6    26
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      20    7   4   9    43   39   +4    25
 9 AS Marcadia                17    8   1   8    31   33   −2    25
10 Artiglieria                19    6   5   8    31   41  −10    23
11 Cazadores Cathair          20    5   7   8    20   21   −1    22
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      18    6   3   9    29   30   −1    21
13 Santa Margarida            17    6   3   8    28   35   −7    21
14 Oljestaden IF              17    4   6   7    30   36   −6    18
15 KT Laranjauzia             17    3   6   8    16   21   −5    15

Matchday 27
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Silexhera FC
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 3–5 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 3–2 Burdoc Ridge
Santa Margarida 1–2 Oljestaden IF

AS Marcadia’s three goals flatter the eastern outfit as Cathair over-run them with five first-half goals, scored through Shine, va Drake, van Robben, Szubanski and Lomax. Zozi keep the pace, but twice fall behind in defeating Burdoc Ridge and are showing signs that the pressure is starting to get to them.

At the bottom, Oljestaden’s away victory over Santa Margarida is an incredibly important one that takes them out of the automatic relegation places.

Matchday 28
Oljestaden IF 3–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Burdoc Ridge 0–3 AS Marcadia
1830 Cathair 3–1 KT Laranjauzia
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Silexhera FC 0–0 KT Itzalovalle

With Zozi having lost a 3-1 lead away to Oljestaden to drop two points to the northern strugglers, Cathair seize the oportunity to put daylight between themselves and their cross-country rivals, sweeping past bottom side Laranjauzia at a canter.

As manager Lee Sharp attests, it is Cathair’s to lose right now. The side are eight points clear of second and charging towards another domestic title.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               21   13   5   3    45   25  +20    44
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             19   10   6   3    45   33  +12    36
 3 KT Moreazerua              21    9   7   5    39   34   +5    34
 4 Shamrock Cathair           19   10   3   6    27   22   +5    33
 5 Silexhera FC               23    8   6   9    24   30   −6    30
 6 AS Marcadia                19    9   1   9    37   38   −1    28
 7 KT Itzalovalle             22    8   3  11    18   24   −6    27
 8 Cazadores Cathair          22    6   8   8    23   22   +1    26
 9 Burdoc Ridge               20    6   8   6    32   33   −1    26
10 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      20    7   4   9    43   39   +4    25
11 Artiglieria                19    6   5   8    31   41  −10    23
12 Oljestaden IF              19    5   7   7    35   40   −5    22
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      19    6   3  10    29   32   −3    21
14 Santa Margarida            18    6   3   9    29   37   −8    21
15 KT Laranjauzia             19    3   7   9    18   25   −7    16

Matchday 29
The National League
Artiglieria 3–0 Cazadores Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 1830 Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 Burdoc Ridge
AS Marcadia 2–3 Oljestaden IF
AC Izotz Zubia 4–1 Santa Margarida

Zozi and Cathair both take victories on Matchday 29, with Zozi showing they do have resolve by performing well in Monday night’s matchup.

Matchday 30
The National League
Santa Margarida 1–0 AS Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Laranjauzia
Burdoc Ridge 2–4 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
1830 Cathair 2–5 Artiglieria
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Shamrock Cathair

Well where on earth did that come from. One goal up after three minutes, Cathair switch off and are humiliated for it, with an attack-minded Artiglieria refusing to relinquish the pressure despite going 2, 3 and then 4 goals up before the hour. Cathair manage a solitary penalty - and a dubious one at that - in reply.

The Teatimers remain eight points to the good with regards to their main rivals, but Zozi’s three games in hand mean their fate is technically not in their hands.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               23   14   5   4    49   31  +18    47
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             20   11   6   3    49   34  +15    39
 3 KT Moreazerua              21    9   7   5    39   34   +5    34
 4 Shamrock Cathair           20   10   3   7    27   23   +4    33
 5 Silexhera FC               23    8   6   9    24   30   −6    30
 6 Cazadores Cathair          24    7   8   9    24   25   −1    29
 7 Artiglieria                21    8   5   8    39   43   −4    29
 8 AS Marcadia                21    9   1  11    39   42   −3    28
 9 Burdoc Ridge               22    6   9   7    35   38   −3    27
10 KT Itzalovalle             22    8   3  11    18   24   −6    27
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      20    7   4   9    43   39   +4    25
12 Oljestaden IF              21    6   7   8    38   43   −5    25
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      21    7   3  11    34   36   −2    24
14 Santa Margarida            20    7   3  10    31   41  −10    24
15 KT Laranjauzia             21    4   8   9    20   26   −6    20

Matchday 31
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–3 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 1–2 1830 Cathair
Artiglieria 3–1 Burdoc Ridge
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 Oljestaden IF
KT Laranjauzia 3–0 Santa Margarida
AS Marcadia 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia

A fracturous Cathair derby on Saturday afternoon ends with 1830 hanging on for dear life to take all three points - a result that all but ends Shamrock’s shrunken ambitions of a title challenge. Cathair go to 50 points, but Zozi keep the pressure on with victory away to Marcadia.

At the bottom, Laranjauzia aren’t out of it yet, scunnering fellow relegation candidates Santa Margarida by four goals to nil to stay just about in touch with the pack.

Matchday 32
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 KT Laranjauzia
Santa Margarida 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Oljestaden IF 1–1 Artiglieria
Burdoc Ridge 1–3 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 5–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 KT Moreazerua

Another 5-2 result, this time in Cathair’s favour, matches Zozi’s 3-1 Saturday lunchtime vitory over Laranjauzia. Cathair, with three games to go, simply cannot shake their rivals.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               25   16   5   4    56   34  +22    53
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             22   13   6   3    54   35  +19    45
 3 Shamrock Cathair           22   11   3   8    31   26   +5    36
 4 Cazadores Cathair          26    9   8   9    29   28   +1    35
 5 KT Moreazerua              22    9   7   6    40   36   +4    34
 6 Artiglieria                23    9   6   8    43   45   −2    33
 7 Silexhera FC               23    8   6   9    24   30   −6    30
 8 AS Marcadia                22    9   1  12    39   44   −5    28
 9 Oljestaden IF              23    6   9   8    40   45   −5    27
10 KT Itzalovalle             22    8   3  11    18   24   −6    27
11 Burdoc Ridge               24    6   9   9    37   44   −7    27
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      23    7   5  11    35   37   −2    26
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      22    7   4  11    47   47    0    25
14 Santa Margarida            22    7   4  11    31   44  −13    25
15 KT Laranjauzia             23    5   8  10    24   29   −5    23

Matchday 33
KT Itzalovalle 2–3 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–2 1830 Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3–2 Burdoc Ridge
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Oljestaden IF
Artiglieria 1–1 Santa Margarida
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Laranjauzia 1–2 AS Marcadia

Disaster for Zozi. Louis O’Brien’s last-gasp equaliser denies the reigning champions two points and gives Cathair some much-needed daylight at the top after the capital club’s 2-1 win over Moreazerua, who remain in mid-table pergatory.

Matchday 34
AS Marcadia 2–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 Artiglieria
Santa Margarida 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 3–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Burdoc Ridge 1–3 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 0–2 KT Itzalovalle
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Silexhera FC

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               27   17   5   5    58   37  +21    56
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             24   14   7   3    59   38  +21    49
 3 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   8   9    33   30   +3    41
 4 Shamrock Cathair           24   12   4   8    35   28   +7    40
 5 KT Moreazerua              24   10   7   7    44   39   +5    37
 6 Artiglieria                25    9   7   9    45   49   −4    34
 7 AS Marcadia                24   10   2  12    43   47   −4    32
 8 Oljestaden IF              25    7  10   8    45   49   −4    31
 9 KT Itzalovalle             24    9   3  12    22   27   −5    30
10 Silexhera FC               24    8   6  10    24   31   −7    30
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      24    8   4  12    52   52    0    28
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      25    7   7  11    39   41   −2    28
13 Burdoc Ridge               26    6   9  11    40   50  −10    27
14 Santa Margarida            24    7   5  12    32   47  −15    26
15 KT Laranjauzia             24    5   8  11    25   31   −6    23

Whatever Zozi can do, Cathair can do worse. The Teatimers are upset at home once again, allowing Zozi to make up ground.

Below them, Cazadores Cathair are eight points behind in third, but with one caveat - the side have now played every single one of their league games this season, with many of the other teams still with four to play.

At the top, Cathair’s final game will come next week, away to Slexhera.

Matchday 35
The National League
Silexhera FC 0–1 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Burdoc Ridge
KT Moreazerua 3–1 Oljestaden IF
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–4 Santa Margarida
Shamrock Cathair 3–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Artiglieria 2–2 AS Marcadia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–1 KT Laranjauzia

Shamrock looked good for defending their 3-2 lead with only minutes left on the clock against AC Izotz Zubia, yet contrived to lose to two very soft goals in the game’s dying moments. Typical kamikaze Shamrogue football? A concerted attempt to give Zozi every help they need in overtaking Shamrock’s arch rivals? That’s for others to decide. Either way, 1830 Cathair’s season is over. With the side out of all cup competitions too, the players are given two week’s holiday to get away from the Audioslavian football goldfish bowl.

All eyes turn to AC Izotz Zubia, seven points behind with three matches left to play. Two wins and a draw is the minimum Zozi need in order to win a fourth title in five years and to deny their great rivals a league title.

Matchday 36
The National League
KT Laranjauzia 0–2 Artiglieria
AS Marcadia 0–3 Shamrock Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Santa Margarida 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Burdoc Ridge 3–2 Silexhera FC

An assured performance in Izotzazubia gives Zozi three points and completes one third of their task, with Cathair’s fans and players almost unable to watch, helplessly.

Cross-city rivals Cazadores are in the same boat, having finished their season already. Caza lie in fifth, the final Globe Cup position, and are watching intently as Artiglieria and Itzalovalle make a final push.

Above them, Mozi and Shamrock are assured berths in the Globe Cup next season.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               28   18   5   5    59   37  +22    59
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             26   16   7   3    64   41  +23    55
 3 Shamrock Cathair           26   13   4   9    41   32   +9    43
 4 KT Moreazerua              26   12   7   7    48   40   +8    43
 5 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   8   9    33   30   +3    41
 6 Artiglieria                27   10   8   9    49   51   −2    38
 7 KT Itzalovalle             26   11   3  12    24   27   −3    36
 8 AS Marcadia                26   10   3  13    45   52   −7    33
 9 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      26    8   7  11    41   42   −1    31
10 Oljestaden IF              27    7  10  10    46   53   −7    31
11 Silexhera FC               26    8   6  12    26   35   −9    30
12 Burdoc Ridge               28    7   9  12    43   53  −10    30
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      26    8   5  13    56   57   −1    29
14 Santa Margarida            26    7   6  13    36   52  −16    27
15 KT Laranjauzia             26    5   8  13    26   35   −9    23

Matchday 37
Silexhera FC 1–4 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Santa Margarida
KT Moreazerua 3–5 AC Izotz Zubia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–0 AS Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 KT Laranjauzia
Artiglieria 3–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Two down, one to go. AC Izotz Zubia smash five past Moreazerua, who twice take the lead during a frantic first half but are eventually undone by the mastery of Hawk and the goalscoring prowess of Auðbjörnsson. One game to go: A draw with Itzalovalle will be enough.

Such a draw, along with giving Zozi the title, would cement Cazadores as the final Globe Cup team.
Elsewhere, Shamrock relegate Laranjauzia via a two-all draw.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               28   18   5   5    59   37  +22    59
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             27   17   7   3    69   44  +25    58
 3 Shamrock Cathair           27   13   5   9    43   34   +9    44
 4 KT Moreazerua              27   12   7   8    51   45   +6    43
 5 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   8   9    33   30   +3    41
 6 Artiglieria                28   11   8   9    52   52    0    41
 7 KT Itzalovalle             27   12   3  12    26   27   −1    39
 8 Oljestaden IF              28    8  10  10    50   54   −4    34
 9 AS Marcadia                27   10   4  13    45   52   −7    34
10 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      27    8   7  12    42   45   −3    31
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      27    8   6  13    56   57   −1    30
12 Burdoc Ridge               28    7   9  12    43   53  −10    30
13 Silexhera FC               27    8   6  13    27   39  −12    30
14 Santa Margarida            27    7   6  14    36   54  −18    27
15 KT Laranjauzia             27    5   9  13    28   37   −9    24

Matchday 38
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 5–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AS Marcadia 2–1 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
Santa Margarida 1–0 Silexhera FC

All they had to do was draw. All they had to do. AC Izotz Zubia throw the league away in front of their own supporters, gifting their greatest rivals the league title and losing to their nearest local rivals. A sickener. Tori Apcutt is the unlikely hero for Itzalovalle, creating both the goals that sent Itzi back to the Globe Cup.

At the final whistle, manager Patrick Courtois humbly applauds the opposition and his own supporters, and is royally booed for his troubles.

At the bottom, Santa Margarida’s 1-0 win over Silexhera isn’t enough to secure safety. They are demoted to National League Two alongside Laranzauzia, who pick up only their sixth win of the season on the final day, destroying a Calcio Sircurezza Elfi team who already had one eye on their summer holidays.

Also at the bottom, Burdoc Ridge will play in the relegation playoff for the second consecutive season.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               28   18   5   5    59   37  +22    59 CC
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             28   17   7   4    70   46  +24    58 CC
 3 Shamrock Cathair           28   14   5   9    44   34  +10    47 GC
 4 KT Moreazerua              28   12   7   9    52   47   +5    43 GC
 5 KT Itzalovalle             28   13   3  12    28   28    0    42 GC
 6 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   8   9    33   30   +3    41
 7 Artiglieria                28   11   8   9    52   52    0    41
 8 AS Marcadia                28   11   4  13    47   53   −6    37
 9 Oljestaden IF              28    8  10  10    50   54   −4    34
10 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28    8   7  13    42   46   −4    31
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      28    8   6  14    58   62   −4    30
12 Burdoc Ridge               28    7   9  12    43   53  −10    30 Relegation Playoff
13 Silexhera FC               28    8   6  14    27   40  −13    30 Relegation Playoff
14 Santa Margarida            28    8   6  14    37   54  −17    30 Relegated
15 KT Laranjauzia             28    6   9  13    33   39   −6    27 Relegated

National League Two

National Two              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Bombarralense              38   17  12   9    70   58  +12    63 Promoted
 2 Tenth Star Hasiera         38   18   8  12    67   59   +8    62 Promoted
 3 KT Koroatuz                38   17  10  11    51   41  +10    61 Promotion Playoff
 4 Sobrevolante               38   17   9  12    69   59  +10    60 Promotion Playoff
 5 CF Herradores              38   16  11  11    65   52  +13    59
 6 Eletti Valligiani          38   16  11  11    40   34   +6    59
 7 CdF Celtade                38   17   8  13    60   58   +2    59
 8 Excelsior Zijweg           38   16   9  13    65   60   +5    57
 9 Iron Brewery               38   15  11  12    66   62   +4    56
10 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      38   14  10  14    61   60   +1    52
11 The Oran                   38   15   7  16    56   58   −2    52
12 Uniao Tortuguita           38   13  13  12    61   64   −3    52
13 Necromarinai               38   13   9  16    82   83   −1    48
14 KT Ferramendiak            38   13   8  17    51   57   −6    47
15 Viking Halehavn            38   10  16  12    53   61   −8    46
16 Laranjeiras                38   12   9  17    49   50   −1    45
17 United Cathair FC          38   11   9  18    49   55   −6    42 Relegated
18 Reina Del Sud              38   11   9  18    51   61  −10    42 Relegated
19 Guerrilla Cathair          38   10  10  18    65   76  −11    40 Relegated
20 Crossport Mariners         38   11   7  20    45   68  −23    40 Relegated

R41

R41                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    40   37   1   2   114   29  +85   112 Promoted
 2 Hibernação                          40   25   9   6    78   40  +38    84 Promoted
 3 Corações                            40   25   6   9    73   40  +33    81 Promoted
 4 Huiszwalluw FC                      40   26   2  12    75   53  +22    80 Promoted
 5 Kitherwell                          40   23   8   9    83   52  +31    77
 6 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías      40   22  10   8    95   64  +31    76
 7 Ceilerden Rovers                    40   23   7  10    74   47  +27    76
 8 Valão                               40   23   6  11    89   57  +32    75
 9 C.D. Portobranco                    40   21  10   9    77   47  +30    73
10 Sporting Clube Marinheiros          40   21  10   9    81   58  +23    73
11 KT Kanpoldelko                      40   20  11   9    68   47  +21    71
12 SC Laivanrakentajas                 40   20  11   9    76   60  +16    71
13 Alistoun Academicals                40   19   8  13    70   56  +14    65
14 Lemmitania State FC                 40   19   6  15    68   61   +7    63
15 Crossport Dynamo                    40   19   6  15    57   55   +2    63
16 DDM Dunas Secas                     40   17  10  13    67   61   +6    61
17 Orquideas                           40   15  14  11    54   43  +11    59
18 Valens AV                           40   17   7  16    68   63   +5    58
19 Frecce                              40   17   6  17    51   51    0    57
20 KT Ferratzaileak                    40   16   8  16    65   66   −1    56
21 CdFS Ilheiros                       40   15  11  14    67   68   −1    56
22 Clockwork FC                        40   16   8  16    57   63   −6    56
23 Sparta Zijweg                       40   15  11  14    59   67   −8    56
24 Ceilerden Harp                      40   15  10  15    62   63   −1    55
25 2130 Calolziolungho                 40   16   7  17    57   60   −3    55
26 Valderantia United                  40   15   4  21    52   59   −7    49
27 CF Cruceros                         40   12  10  18    51   70  −19    46
28 Vidrieros                           40   12   9  19    54   64  −10    45
29 Calcio Lecho                        40   10  11  19    62   76  −14    41
30 Maccabi Hasiera                     40   12   5  23    51   67  −16    41
31 Coile Owls                          40   11   7  22    47   69  −22    40
32 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz            40   11   5  24    68   89  −21    38
33 Viking Hryggur                      40   11   5  24    51   89  −38    38
34 Ross Railway                        40    9   8  23    55   88  −33    35
35 Cerejeiras                          40    8  10  22    54   85  −31    34
36 Glasgar Rebels                      40    8  10  22    44   75  −31    34
37 Coile Blades                        40    8   7  25    47   88  −41    31
38 Fundición                           40    7   8  25    61   93  −32    29
39 Glasgar Royals                      40    7   8  25    41   78  −37    29
40 Steelworks                          40    6  10  24    45   70  −25    28
41 PLFC                                40    5  12  23    38   75  −37    27

Team              Pld  W   D   L   F   A  Pts
Burdoc Ridge       3   2   1   0   6   2   7
Silexhera FC       3   2   0   1   8   2   6
KT Koroatuz        3   1   0   2   1   5   3
Sobrevolante       3   0   1   2   1   7   1

Burdoc Ridge 1-1 Sobrevolante
Silexhera FC 2-0 KT Koroatuz

Burdoc Ridge 3-0 KT Koroatuz
Silexhera 5-0 Sobrevolante

Burdoc Ridge 2-1 Silexhera FC
KT Koroatuz 1-0 Sobrevolante

For the first time, there are no promotions or relegations in the playoffs, with the top tier sides comfortably dispatching the teams from third and fourth in the second division.

Kirola Cup Season 9

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Feb 04, 2020 8:05 pm

OOC: A Tale of Two Cathairs is written in the style of a Netflix documentary. It’s assumed that there would be accompanying video. You’ll have to provide the visuals with your own imaginations, but the audio transcript is below.

Key:
Match commentary. During these sections in italics the focus of the footage is largely on the fans and the managers, with footage of the actual football coming from pitch-side cameras. There are occasional shots of local bars showing the match, following the emotions of each team’s fans. For bars showing the Shamrock Cathair matches, assume an Irish Pub. For bars showing Cazadores matches, assume a more Latin-American or Mediterranean feel. I imagine the commentators to have the voices of Brian Moore for Cazadores games and Ian Crocker for Shamrock games, but naturally you can replace these with whoever you like in your mind.

Blue sections are snippets of Audioslavian TV News, presented by various sports anchors who may or may not resemble James Richardson and Diletta Leotta

Voiceover by Jeremy Jaffacake. Assume uncanny valley Scottish accent and volume problems

<Information about what is happening on screen will appear in triangular brackets like so>

<Cold open: A montage of the first three games of the new season>

You join us on a sweltering summer’s day here at the Glass Bridge Stadium as a very new-look Shamrock, though still in their tradiional deep emarald green, kick off against KT Moreazerua…

…here in Lusitaninha it’s the home side Bombarralense who get us underway, their very first game in the top flight, kicking from left to right in their bright red home shirts, Cazadores in their change strip clad all in black…

…and still Mozi can’t get the ball clear Lisco… loses out to van Beuren, danger here for Shamrock! Van Beuren to Crewe.. Rosewing… it’s played in for Danira PILBEERSEEEK OHHHFT what a block that is from Dieter Konoval, it’s away for a corner…

…Bombarralense force another corner, headed away by Jerquaad… and that’s a miskick from Dane Prigeon, it’s Leon Davis, Mishima aand saved well, Cazadores have gotten away with that one…

…and that’s a mistake, it’s Yohan Miller, square for Rosewing, and Rosewing… blocked… Alexander Crewe! And Shamrock lead, forced low, forced through Pendergaarst who is furious with his…

…defenders tracking back as Bombarralense come forward once more, that’s Way, Way way out to Harrow on the right, whipped in for FranKEN! Over the bar, he had so much space! Cazadores manager Rook Cathar looks furious with his team…

…furiously gesticulating at the referee, who’s coming over… he’s going to book the Shamrock manager. Oh, Rohan Cammers, no stranger to the odd yellow in his playing days and he has one here too, it’s a yellow to Cammers for shouting at the referee, it’s yellow for Logan Osborn for the trip, it’s a penalty to Morezerua, can they make something of this. Nonhagatte, the weight lays on his broad shoulders… and it’s a goal. 1-1 as we approach…

…half-time comes and Rook Cathair storms down the tunnel, you wouldn’t want to be a Cazadores player in that dressing room very soon…

…Rohan Cammers will have some stern words with his Shamrock team, so dominant in this opening half of the season, yet the game is still tied at 1-1…

<a handheld camera follows Rohan into the Shamrock Cathair changing room>

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“Thirty thousand people are here to see you fucks, are you going to let them down?They’ve been looking forward to the opening game for months, counting the days, they’ve seen you, you, Atsuhiro, Colm, Les, they’ve seen you come in and they’re desperate for you to be the real deal. Are you the real deal? Well? Don’t fucking tell me, tell them. Show them who you are, and don’t you dare come back in here without proving to them that you’re fit to wear The Green”

ROOK CATHAR:
“The bloody hell has gotten into you? You train all summer and then you come out here to the sticks just to fold under the pressure? These guys, Bombarralense, they’ve been playing in the second flight all their lives, their fans have seen nothing but pish their entire lives, they’ve been dreaming about coming to the big leagues and showing the likes of Cazadores what for, but I didn’t dedicate the last decade of my life to getting the best out of the sort of team who wilts under pressure. These guys are trying their hearts out, so we have to try harder. Francis, Creidne, you’re Cazadores now. That name means something. Don’t you dare come back in here without…”

..O’Tuathail still, to the by-line, deflected and out, it’s a corner for Shamrock, Rohan Cammers waving his centre-halves forward…

…come streaming forward on the counter, Bombarralense are exposed here, it’s Francis Sutherland, he’s past Kuby, there’s shirts waiting, it’s in for LINDAUERRRRRR and it’s ONE-NIL Cazadores…

…it’s swung in high, looking to his Les JAWALLAWALLA! Shamrock re-take the lead, and it’s the big Apoxian!

Matchday One
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 KT Moreazerua
Crewe ’31
Nonhagatte ’43
Jawallawalla ’64

Bombarralense 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Lindauer ’55

…made hard work of their visit to Hasiera, only taking the lead in the 92nd minute through this goal from Osman Candelo..
…two out of two for Cazadores, for whom Olimpia Vidal’s 25th minute strike was enough to salvage all three points…
…and it’s Cazadores’s third 1-0 victory in a row as Itzalovalle fall victim to substitute Aloha’s 75th minute strike, the Daineri ensuring Cazadores’ perfect start to the season continues…
…fantastic performance from Shamrock as Zozi come to the capital and can only take a single point. Laborious Hawk’s early strike looked to be the start of an onslought, but Crewe’s reply took the wind from Izotz Zubia’s sails and Shamrock hold the giants to a draw, 1-1 here at Glass Bridge

Matchdays Two and Three

Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–3 Shamrock Cathair
Crewe ’13
Bousquet ’21
Bailey ’54
O’Tuathail ’78
Candelo ’90+2

Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Silexhera FC
Vidal ’25

KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Aloha ’75

Shamrock Cathair 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Hawk ‘7
Crewe ’44

Cazadores and Shamrock, Cathair’s ‘other’ clubs. Permanently in the shadow of decadent rivals 1830 Cathair. Each team has their own personality. 1830 Cathair, one of the oldest clubs in Audioslavia, were founded as a strictly amateur team, selecting graduates from local private schools to play for the love of the game. Founded in the city’s rich Grand Forum district, an area that has only become richer over the centuries, 1830 Cathair reluctantly embraced professionalism only at the start of the LigAnaia era, and used their wealth to dominate Audioslavian football. Five LigAnaia titles arrived at Cathair’s door, nine times they were the best performing Audioslavian team. One CopAnaia, one UICA Champions’ Cup, one UICA Super Cup, one Cygnus Cup, one AOCL, the side have won almost every trophy on offer both at home and abroad.

Life has always been different in the eastern and western districts of the capital. Shamrock on one side, Cazadores on the other. They aren't the only other clubs in the capital. United Cathair and Guerrilla Cathair are smaller clubs that have always plied their trade in the lower leagues. Shamrock and Cazadores have always been much, much bigger and yet, compared to 1830, so so small. They are the middle children of the capital. Never unloved, but always unfashionable.

Shamrock have always been professional, for a long time keeping their players sheltered and fed by playing exhibition matches as often as they possible could. Founded in the dockyards, a team followed by many in rural western Audioslavia and the industrial, working class western districts of Cathair. Shamrock, without the income, connections or glamour of 1830, have always struggled. Eighth place in LigAnaia season two was their best finish in the LigAnaia era. A few seasons of yo-yoing between LigAnaia’s 1 and 2 followed before the club sank like a stone, vanishing into division three before the league was absorbed into the old R49. In five seasons in that division, the second flight of LigAnaia football, the side finished in the top half only twice.

The club have fared better since the start of the National League era, earning promotion to the top flight immediately and suffering through six difficult seasons, including one in the second tier again, before achieving their greatest ever finish in season seven.

First.

<a rugged looking forty-something man sits down on a leather armchair, facing just away from the camera, waits awkwardly while an attractive girl with green hair puts his clip-mic into position. He has salt-and-pepper hair and a complexion that suggests he may have recently spent four months out at sea. Either that or he likes a drink. Like many forty-something men he has a very large head on a regular-sized body - again, probably the result of alcohol. Below the neck, he’s slim and wiry but for a slight pot belly that is, thankfully, hidden underneath a smart shirt, green tie and dark green blazer with the Shamrock Cathair crest on the heart>
“Rohan” says the interviewer, clearly Jeremy Jaffacake from the weirdy half-rolled ‘R’. “Thank you for coming”
“Can I tell you about the time I won us the league yet”
“Go right ah..”
“Second best day of my career in football. No doubt.”
“Second best?”
 “Aye. Watching Alexander Crewe net that first goal in the final game. Hearing the news that 1830 Cathair and Zozi were messing up. Watching all our hard work fall into place. Bliss.”

<a different room, a different chair, a different man. A much, much larger man, with short blond hair receeding a little and flecked with white. He sits on a red two-person sofa and almost fills it. He looks like someone made one big suit out of three and then put five fridges into it. He nods at the interviewer, who starts by asking him a question>
"So, Rook, we've spoken to Rohan, who started by telling us he enjoyed winning the league that one time.
“We could have won the league that season. Should have. Injury problems in the final run-in took us from first to fourth. Perils of having a small squad and a good first eleven but just kids behind that. It was our lowest finish for three years. We’d finished second twice in a row before that, after winning the title ourselves. Even then, even with the prize money, a club like Cazadores have to work twice as hard to compete. ”

Cazadores Cathair joined the LigAnaia in season three and immediately earned promotion to the top flight. There, the team made a habit of narrowly avoiding relegation, finishing in the top half of the top division only once - a tenth place in season twelve.

Cazadores would finally be relegated in the first National League season, but would return quickly to embark upon the greatest era in their history. Fourth place, back then good enough for a Champions Cup spot, followed before an unlikely maiden title in season four. Two runners-up finishes followed, then fourth, then third, and finally the side finished sixth last year - their worst finish for six cycles.

Cazadores are the team of the city’s eastern provinces, traditionally a ghetto before a short economic boom pitched various skyscrapers and shopping centres in and around the smaller, older buildings. Cazadores though, retain their identity, continuing to play their football at the ancient El Ruedo stadium in an area still full of the short, white, yellow and pink concrete housing that used to be the area’s trademark.

This week, National League Season 10, Matchday 4, both Shamrock and Cazadores have the week off. It’s a side-effect of having a 28-matchday, 15-team league that runs over the course of 38 matchdays. Ten weekends off per team. Often, many of these off-weeks happen at once. Cazadores have just the one weekend off, while Shamrock will now play zero games until matchday eight.

We invited both managers to share a sofa with one another to watch all the fixtures from matchday four.

They declined.

Instead, they’ll be watching the games separately.

All matches on Matchday Four take place on Sunday evening at 5 o’clock. Not the usual turn of events, wherein typically four matches will be played at 3pm on Saturday, with a couple others shown on live TV on either Friday night, Saturday lunchtime, Saturday night, Sunday lunchtime or Sunday afternoon. The gimmick of having all games on the Sunday evening is exactly that - a gimmick. Created by Audioslavian TV in a bid to entertain foreign investors at the expense of the fans.

Rohan Cammers has the TV tuned to full coverage of AC Izotz Zubia versus Bombarralense.

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“Two-nothing up in ten minutes. How long did it take Cazadores to score against this lot? Zozi always have the odd dry patch but they’re moving through the gears nicely today. Their strength and weakness is that they’re so attacking, and there’s a few teams in the league who’ve figured out how to deal with that. Here’s Hawk.. Hawk’s gonna wait with it until one of the strikers… aye there it is for Audbjornsson aaand goal. Nice finish. Hawk - Audbjornsson - Goal is a far too regular occurrence for my liking, even if Thor is getting on a bit.”

Rook Cathair sits in front of Ceu Sports’ Umbrella coverage of all five matches, jumping from game to game as and when the goals fly in.

ROOK CATHAR:
“A goal at the Hygolje Arena eh? That’ll be Oljestaden taking the lead then. 1-0. Knudsen’s a great player. I’m not quite sure what he’s still doing at Oljestaden”
“You don’t rate the Oilers?” comes a question from the man sitting on the part of the sofa somehow not occupied by Rook Cathar. It’s Jeremy Jaffacake, squeezed into a corner.
“It’s not as if I don’t rate them, it’s just they’re playing Artiglieria, and I honestly haven’t seen a team look this bad on paper for quite some time”

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“Ooh, hello, Bombarralense aren’t lying down are they? Still throwing defenders forward at corners. That’s Jan Kuby. Good player. 3-1 now”

ROOK CATHAR:
“Itzi versus Mozi is quieter than you’d expect. That’s supposed to be a derby, yet you can see empty seats in the stadium. I’m glad Itzi are back up. As a sports fan, you understand, not as a manager of a team that has to play them. They’re one of the ‘big six’, as people call us now. 1830 Cathair and AC Izotz Zubia at the top, us and Shamrock from Cathair and Mozi and Itzi from the mountains. Itzalovalle used to be comfortably the number three side in the country, back in the day, and were still decent when I joined Caza. Couldn’t believe it when they got relegated. Even more so when they couldn’t come back up immediately” “They made some bad decisions” says Jeremy
“Absolutely they did. Gordon Kellond? What were they playing at?”

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“Hah, go on! Go on! Yes! 3-2! Leon Davis for Bombarral! Bloody hell they’re actually making a game of this. 3-2 going into half-time. I reckon they can do it. Zozi have absolutely switched off”
 ROOK CATHAR:
“Hello, something happening in… Hasiera. Ah. For a second there I thought we were getting something good. Tout-Puissant take the lead. Leonardo Bousquet. Admittedly I don’t know much about him. An Eastfielder? Well he can only be so good then…”

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“And there’s Hawk to spoil the party. 4-2 Zozi. Bombarral have some balls, I’ll give them that, and Zozi are prone to the odd catastophe, what with all the stars butting heads in that team, but I think that’ll be it.”

ROOK CATHAR:
“Calcio Sicurezza Elfi are beating Burdoc Ridge. They’re a strange team. Every season they get tipped to go back down and every season they seem to acquit themselves okay. The Valanora-born players they have in their team are... decent. Let's just say they'd never get within a mile of the Valanora national team. Neither could any of the Burdoc Ridge team, for that matter. It's a mark of the relative depth of each league, for me. A team of plucky Vanoran scamps can survive at the top level of Audioslavian football. Their opposites, Audio Bull Synergy, have barely left a dent in the third or fourth tier of domestic football over in the south west”

ROHAN CAMMERS:
“And that’s it. Audbjornsson, 5-2. Zozi are over the line. How old is Thor these days? Two hundred? I hear he’s quietly stepping aside from playing at the end of the season. Good for everyone else, that’s for sure.”

Matchday 4

The National League
KT Moreazerua 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–1 Silexhera FC
AC Izotz Zubia 5–2 Bombarralense
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–1 Burdoc Ridge
Oljestaden IF 2–1 Artiglieria

   The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair           3    3   0   0     3    0   +3     9
 2 Shamrock Cathair            3    2   1   0     6    4   +2     7
 3 KT Itzalovalle              3    2   0   1     8    3   +5     6
   Oljestaden IF               2    2   0   0     8    3   +5     6
 5 KT Moreazerua               4    2   0   2     7    6   +1     6
 6 AC Izotz Zubia              4    1   2   1     8    6   +2     5
 7 Tout-Puissant Hasiera       4    1   1   2    10   11   −1     4
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       3    1   1   1     5    8   −3     4
 9 1830 Cathair                1    1   0   0     2    1   +1     3
10 Bombarralense               4    1   0   3     7   12   −5     3
11 AS Marcadia                 2    0   2   0     5    5    0     2
12 Artiglieria                 2    0   1   1     2    3   −1     1
-- Tenth Star Hasiera          0    0   0   0     0    0    0     0
14 Burdoc Ridge                1    0   0   1     1    2   −1     0
15 Silexhera FC                4    0   0   4     2   10   −8     0

Having played three matches each - two more than city rivals 1830 Cathair - Cazadores and Shamrock both sit atop the league. But how long can they stay there?

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Feb 07, 2020 4:25 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Feb 08, 2020 9:20 am

…Cazadores put their 100% record on the line here, clad in white and going from right to left. Hosts Tout-Puissant have only won one of their opening five games, but can feasibly go fourth here if they can repel Cazadores this evening…
…having to retreat here, it’s Bousquet, on to Grau, danger here, and Grau cuts inside and that’s Le Quellec arriving ooh that’s a let-off, a drilled ball across goal and Le Quellec is an inch away from connecting with the ball, with Hardcheese still scrambling to get across…
…a cross comes in, it’s Le Hénaff! Saved by Hardcheese oh so acrobatically! Tipped over the bar by the big Daineri and it’s another corner…
…played short to Stoppelbei, floated in, and it’s headed out by Koranjo, volleyed back in by Bailey! Oh what a save! Hardcheese sprawls to his left and digs the ball out of the air, fantastic stop by the keeper…
…who plucks that ball out of the air with ease and it’s thrown immediately to Menheniot and Cazadores can counter, they’ll go through Sutherland, Sutherland skips forward, in for Vidal, Vidal to Lind… no, that’s not a good pass by Vidal…
…and the Chromatik is limping here. Vidal motions that he can continue but he’s moving very gingerly on that left foot…
…you can see here he just steps onto the outside of his foot as he makes the pass. Yeah. Yeah the ankle isn’t supposed to move that way for very long, that’s certainly a strain…
…on comes Aloha for Cazadores, Vidal high-fives the Daineri as he makes his way onto the field…
…Tout-Puissant have been the better team here in the first half, though they won’t have time to take this corner, that’s half time…
…second half and there’s another substitution from Cazadores, and it’s Lindauer who’s been taken off, replaced by Daineri striker Aranha, a summer signing from AS Marcadia, making his debut today…
…Lindauer hasn’t made their way back to the dug-out for the second half, a niggle perhaps? Perhaps the Brenecian isn’t too happy about being subbed off at half-time. It’s not like they’ve put a foot wrong, it’s just been such a quiet half for the number 7. A bit of frustration perhaps? Ah wait, there she is. Headphones on. Scowl. There’s your answer…
…Aranha here. To Aloha and back that’s a wonderful one-two, Aloha with a shot! Just wide of the goal with Futuyna beaten, excellent build-up play from Cazadores…
…who are taking the game to Tout-Puissant now, it’s Etxenoz, over to Sutherland, Sutherland plays the ball square to Aranha who let’s it run, it’s Aloha, Aranha, Goal! Oh that’s a lovely goal! And it’s given Cazadores the lead here! Are they going to make it five wins on the trot?…
…and it’s all over, Tout-Puissants fans make their feelings known about their side’s abysmal second half. TPH 0, Caza 1…

Matchday 6

Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Aranha ’64

Season eight of the LigAnaia - sixteen seasons ago - saw Starblaydia’s Jhanna City make an eyebrow-raising purchase in the transfer market. They brought in a comparatively untried and untested goalkeeper from Tommy-Atkins. His name was Batmacumba. He was the first Daineri in the LigAnaia. Batmacumba was a sole bright spot in what was otherwise a dark couple of years for the Starblaydi outfit, his acrobatic saves and fiery temperament made him a fan favourite for the club, and then for Tout-Puissant Hasiera for a single season, before the stopper was signed by 1830 Cathair for LigAnaia season twelve. Not to be outdone, AC Izotz Zubia found their own Dainer goalkeeper, signing Acquafresca from Adubo Fertio a few weeks later. Both men were supposed to be there as backups, but both would cement themselves as number one, in role if not number, within two seasons.

Both players are enjoying their retirement now. Both were the start of a strange Audioslavian trend.

Eleven of the National League’s fifteen clubs now boast a Daineri goalkeeper. It’s almost like a status symbol.

It’s not just flamboyant goalkeepers that have captured the imagination, either. Plenty of outfielders are on the books at Audioslavian clubs. Dainer are the most represented foreign nation in Audioslavian football and by quite some distance - add togeter the 2nd, 3rd and 4th most represented nationalities and you get the amount of Daineris playing football in Audioslavia: 26.

Four of them now play for Cazadores Cathair.

Jerquaad, formerly of cross-town rivals Shamrock and recently at KT Morezerua, arrived in pre-season to join Keeper Hardcheese who has been captain for two seasons now, having joined from Jéan in season six. Aranha and Aloha, signed for AS Marcadia last season and combining for a number of goals together, were bought at the start of the transfer window.

“I managed on a goal on my debut!” beams Aloha, scorer of the only goal in Caza’s win over KT Itzalovalle on matchday three. Aranha nods. “Same here. It took me a couple more games to get on the field, but this guy fed me the ball on Saturday and I hit the goal. They should start us more often!”

Interviewing them is one Jeremy Jaffacake. Because two would be too many.

“Criedne Lindauer didn’t seem too happy about being taken off at half-time. Why do you think that was?”
 “It’s difficult” nods Aranha, “To be on the field and not receive the ball. This happened to me, to us, at Marcadia. Marcadia struggled last season, they always stuggle I think, so we don’t see the ball too often. And then, when we did score, the boss wanted to take me or Aloha from the field, play defensive. Here, well, opportunities are less, but when we get to the field we know there will be opportunities. For Criedne, she didn’t touch the ball very much in the first half, and then Vidal gets injured and Aloha plays”
“Vidal is okay now, I think. He starts next week” says Aloha
“It’s fair. He’s here for a long time. He’s a good player. I think Criedne felt the frustration to be taken off at half-time. The boss knows I play better when I’m with Aloha. Aloha and Aranha are a good strike force together, so the boss wanted us both at our best. It works!”
“It works” repeats Aloha, nodding.
“What’s your relationship with Hardcheese like?” asks Jeremy
“He’s good, a team-mate, we don’t know him so well” says Aranha
“Not all Daineris are friends, Jeremy” says Aloha
“It’s five wins from five for Cazadores. You couldn’t get a better start if you tried. Next week though, next week is AC Izotz Zubia” asks Jeremy.
“They are bad this season!” exclaims Aloha
“One win in six games. 1-3-2. It’s very bad for them” agrees Aranha
“Why do you think that is?” asks Jeremy
“Because it’s better to win” says Aranha, as Aloha nods sagely.
“No.. I mean why are Zozi having such a bad start?”
“A little unlucky, I think” says Aranha.
“They lost to Cathair, 1830 Cathair I mean, on the first day. And then draws, lots of draws, and then last week against Itzalovalle, that was bad”
“Very bad result” nods Aranha. “I hope this means they are still bad next week”
“And will you be playing next week?” asks Jeremy
“I hope”
“I hope”

…I hope you’re sitting comfortably, it’s the marquee match of week seven of the National League, AC Izotz Zubia in their familiar pink and silver hoops visit Cazadores in deep red. Zozi have had a terrible start by their high standards, while Caza have had the dream opening few weeks to their season. Five games played, five games won, each by the narrowest of margins. Can they stamp their authority over this game, and this league, against one of the biggest teams in Audioslavia?
…Vidal is looking lively, no signs of last week’s injury that was a wonderful turn-and-shot, well saved from Gentle Breeze, one of the few goalkeepers not to be Daineri…
…Vidal here, to Pridgeon and that’s through for Lindauer! oh! Saved by Breeze! The follow up comes from Sutherland but that’s an excellent tackle from Michael Christie, and Zozi hold on…
…hold on a minute that’s been taken quickly, Auðbjörnsson! Goal Zozi! 1-0 to the visitors! Oh and Cazadores just went to sleep for that free-kick! It’s hit while Hardcheese is arranging the wall and that’s Auðbjörnsson, the only one alive to the ball, who controls on the chest and coolly finishes into the space! Quick thinking from Hawk, taken with aplomb by Auðbjörnsson, and on the balance of play you have to admit Zozi are unlikely leaders here at El Ruedo!
…all of the stadium is screaming for a penalty, but nothing doing! Lindauer here, she’s gone down, that’s a clear tug of the shirt from Storm Holsen, he’s hauled the striker to the floor. The crowd are livid… and Rook Cathar just stands there staring. I would not want to be in his way right now…
…an hour gone now, Lindauer heads the ball down but it’s behind Vidal, Sutherland arriving but that’s blocked brilliantly by Davidson…
…Valrauncion on the counter here, he’s past Jerquaad, whipped in to Baume! Saved by Hardcheese! And the rebound, it’s Carrick! and it’s blocked by Koranjo! End to end stuff here…
…here’s the substitution, it’s Menheniot and Vidal coming off, the Dainer duo of Aloha and Aranha arriving for the final push…
…played forward for Lindauer, back to Pridgeon, to Aloha… and Aranha! And ALOHAAAAA off the bar! from the Daineri! Oh, that was almost…
…almost 2-0! Excellent pull back from Hawk but that’s high from Baume, who couldn’t adjust for the bobble in the ball there…
…there’s a ball over to the wing and it’s Sutherland, first time ball to Aloha! And ARANHA saved by Breeze! It’s a corner…
…another corner…
…have forced another corner here, taken by Jerquaad, cleared by Christie, back in by Pridgeon, ARANHA! Blocked! ALOHA! Saved! Oh, what do Cazadores have to do to score?!…
…and it’s all over here at El Ruedo! Cazadores’s dream start comes to and end, and it’s AC Izotz Zubia who take the spoils. Caza will remain top, but they can be caught if Shamrock and 1830 can win their games in hand. Final score…

Matchday 7

Cazadores Cathair 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Auðbjörnsson ’28

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair           6    5   0   1     6    2   +4    15
 2 KT Itzalovalle              5    4   0   1    11    3   +8    12
 3 Oljestaden IF               5    3   1   1    17    8   +9    10
 4 1830 Cathair                3    3   0   0     7    3   +4     9
 5 KT Moreazerua               6    3   0   3    12   11   +1     9
 6 AC Izotz Zubia              7    2   3   2    12   11   +1     9
 7 Shamrock Cathair            3    2   1   0     6    4   +2     7
…

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:26 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:53 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Feb 11, 2020 8:28 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:49 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:54 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:43 pm

…and the full time whistle blows! Shamrock Cathair, fresh from their cup humiliation, have been beaten here! Dieter Konoval’s header is the difference, it’s Mozi 1, Shamrock 0…
…Goal! What a goal! And Tout-Puissant have stolen it! Right at the end! It’s Bousquet! You can hear a pin drop here in the Glass Bridge Stadium! It’s three defeats on the bounce for Shamrock!
…and it’s full time! Silexhera have held on, Cazadores only needed a point to go top, and they couldn’t manage even that! Silexhera 1, Cazadores 0 as Rook Cathar storms up the tunnel…
…Cazadores have bounced back to take victory here! They will keep the pressure on leaders Moreazerua and remain a point ahead of Izotz Zubia who have sauntered past a very lacklustre Shamrock Cathair…

Matchday 20

The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 1830 Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–4 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 5–1 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Silexhera FC

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           15   10   1   4    24   15   +9    31
 2 Cazadores Cathair          15    9   4   2    20   12   +8    31
 3 1830 Cathair               15    9   3   3    36   16  +20    30
 4 KT Itzalovalle             15    9   3   3    29   14  +15    30
 5 KT Moreazerua              15    9   2   4    26   20   +6    29
 6 AC Izotz Zubia             15    7   6   2    34   27   +7    27
 7 Bombarralense              15    7   2   6    32   32    0    23

Matchday 21

The National League
Silexhera FC 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AS Marcadia 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 5–3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua              16   10   2   4    27   20   +7    32
 2 Shamrock Cathair           16   10   1   5    24   16   +8    31
 3 Cazadores Cathair          16    9   4   3    20   13   +7    31
 4 1830 Cathair               15    9   3   3    36   16  +20    30
 5 KT Itzalovalle             15    9   3   3    29   14  +15    30
 6 AC Izotz Zubia             16    8   6   2    35   27   +8    30
 7 Oljestaden IF              15    6   5   4    38   30   +8    23

Matchday 22

The National League
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–1 Artiglieria
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Shamrock Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–0 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Silexhera FC
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 KT Itzalovalle

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua              17   11   2   4    28   20   +8    35
 2 Cazadores Cathair          17   10   4   3    22   13   +9    34
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             17    9   6   2    37   27  +10    33
 4 Shamrock Cathair           17   10   1   6    24   18   +6    31
 5 1830 Cathair               15    9   3   3    36   16  +20    30
 6 KT Itzalovalle             16    9   3   4    29   16  +13    30
 7 Bombarralense              17    7   3   7    32   33   −1    24

<VARIOUS: We see footage of Shamrock manager Rohan Cammers taking his team for training. A montage of training drills set to music, with occasional voice-overs from Cammers>

“The break couldn’t have come at a worse time for us. Top of the league, in the best form I’ve seen us in for years, we could have done with playing game after game but no. A winter break. Just a week and a half, but it was enough. We were awful in the cup match, and then to come back and lose three on the trot was bad, but now we have another break. The way the league works, every team has a few matchdays off here and there. Right now it’s our turn. We get to watch our rivals slog it out on the sleet while we drop down the table like a stone. It isn’t my idea of fun”

Matchday 23

The National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 KT Moreazerua
Silexhera FC 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Bombarralense 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Burdoc Ridge 2–4 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Artiglieria 0–5 Oljestaden IF

The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua              18   11   3   4    28   20   +8    36
 2 Cazadores Cathair          17   10   4   3    22   13   +9    34
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             18    9   6   3    39   30   +9    33
 4 KT Itzalovalle             17    9   4   4    29   16  +13    31
 5 Shamrock Cathair           17   10   1   6    24   18   +6    31
 6 1830 Cathair               15    9   3   3    36   16  +20    30
 7 Bombarralense              18    8   3   7    35   35    0    27
 8 Oljestaden IF              16    7   5   4    43   30  +13    26

“The very idea of a ‘game in hand’ is just… offensive. People treat it like you’ve already got the three points from each of them. Even the players do. “Oh, we’re just five points behind but we’ve a game in hand, so it’s basically two”. And then with this league you end up having played three less than everyone else, so your fans are like ‘well it’s nine points the gap, and we’ve got nine points in hand, so we’re basically joint top. It doesn’t work like that. Never has. Those games, you can feel the pressure. Even watching our title rivals cancel each other out doesn’t help. We’re going to go into our next three games fighting for our lives. We’ll be knackered after those three games, but then it continues. To win the league, or get high enough up it to satisfy your fans, your employers, it’s a fight. Like every other part of football. It’s a fight to the death”

…Cazadores nil, Moreazerua nil, it’s ‘as you were’ at the top, especially with Zozi failing to capitalise on what should have been a home banker against Silexhera..

]Matchday 24

The National League
Oljestaden IF 5–1 Burdoc Ridge
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Silexhera FC
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 0–0 Cazadores Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua              19   11   4   4    28   20   +8    37
 2 Cazadores Cathair          18   10   5   3    22   13   +9    35
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             19    9   7   3    40   31   +9    34
 4 KT Itzalovalle             18    9   4   5    29   17  +12    31
 5 Shamrock Cathair           17   10   1   6    24   18   +6    31
 6 1830 Cathair               15    9   3   3    36   16  +20    30
 7 Oljestaden IF              17    8   5   4    48   31  +17    29
 8 Bombarralense              18    8   3   7    35   35    0    27

“And then there’s your rivals. 1830 Cathair have played two games fewer than us, four fewer than Mozi at the top, with a gap of only seven points. The pressures on them, too, but with their squad they can chop and change until they get the right combination for each match. “

“It gets to the point where the table is just a lie. You need to be a mathematish-boffin to calculate which team is really in the driving seat. Is it Cazadores? Us? 1830? Who [expletive deleted] knows”

…and it’s all over! Cazadores get the win they needed, they go top of the league with nine games to go.. or twelve if you’re 1830 Cathair… or eight if you’re Zozi… it really is anyone’s title…

Matchday 25

The National League
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 Oljestaden IF
Burdoc Ridge 7–5 Artiglieria

The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          19   11   5   3    24   13  +11    38
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             20   10   7   3    41   31  +10    37
 3 KT Moreazerua              19   11   4   4    28   20   +8    37
 4 Oljestaden IF              18    9   5   4    50   31  +19    32
 5 1830 Cathair               16    9   4   3    37   17  +20    31
 6 KT Itzalovalle             19    9   4   6    29   18  +11    31
 7 Shamrock Cathair           17   10   1   6    24   18   +6    31

<INT Rohan Cammers’s office. He’s watching Cazadores versus AC Izotz Zubia.

“Oh for [expletive deleted] sake”

…GOAL! What a goal! It’s Olimpia Vidal with space at the far side, turns beautifully, and what a beautiful shot that is! Curled with the outside of the right boot, and Breeze is beaten! What a chance this is for Cazadores Cathair to go four points clear

Matchday 26

The National League
Artiglieria 2–3 Tenth Star Hasiera
Oljestaden IF 2–3 1830 Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–2 AS Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–2 KT Moreazerua

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          20   12   5   3    25   13  +12    41
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             21   10   7   4    41   32   +9    37
 3 KT Moreazerua              20   11   4   5    30   23   +7    37
 4 1830 Cathair               17   10   4   3    40   19  +21    34
 5 Oljestaden IF              19    9   5   5    52   34  +18    32
 6 KT Itzalovalle             19    9   4   6    29   18  +11    31
 7 Shamrock Cathair           17   10   1   6    24   18   +6    31
 8 Bombarralense              18    8   3   7    35   35    0    27

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Feb 15, 2020 4:49 pm

by **Audioslavia** » Mon Feb 17, 2020 7:02 pm

…finally, for Cazadores fans, the wait is over. The side get us underway here for their first league match in four weeks. Rook Cathar’s line-up remains largely unchanged. Hardcheese in goal, Monterroso and Veloso the centre-halves with Saez and Jequaad either side. Sutherland on the left wing, Etxenoz on the right, Menheniot just behind Pridgeon in midfield with a strike-force of Vidal and Lindauer. Opponents Calcio Sicurezza name three changes from the side that claimed a draw with Itzalovalle…
…played in to Sutherland, the cut-back, VIDAL! Goal! One-nil Cazadores! Can the capital club continue their winning run?…
…Sicurezza are seeing more and more of the ball here. Probably one of the best-drilled teams in the league, they’re beginning to find in-roads into Caza’s defence… here’s Vâge, danger here! Vâge! FLOCH! Saaved by Hardcheese! A warning from the Northern Marauders…
…Vidal holds the ball up well, and it’s square for Lindauer but that’s a good interception from Canez. Sicurezza starting to get the measure of Cazadores…
…Campus here to Wardak.. Wardak… Vâge! GOAL! Goal Sicurezza! The home fans fall silent as Sicurezza grab the…
…second! It’s a second for Sicurezza! It’s Qamar Wardak! Five minutes to go until half-time and Sicurezza have struck a vital…
…goal!…………. Cazadores are in shock. They are in actual shock. It’s the same move! Hit low in front of the area, flicked into the danger area by Giulio Campus and Wardak makes it 3-1 to Sicurezza! Monterroso and Veloso are nowhere to be seen! Rook Cathar just stands there, it’s a disaster for Cazadores!
…No changes for Cazadores in the second half as they try to claw back that lead…
…no real penetration from Cazadores here, and you have to say that Sicurezza look comfortable…
…comfortably a penalty? Absolutely not. Sutherland goes down very easily there, and Cazadores will have the chance from the spot-kick..
…SAVED by Mathisen! Followed up by Vidaaaaal! 3-2! Cazadores have grabbed a goal back, it’s Olimpia Vidal!
…still Cazadores struggle to create chances, and here’s Campus! Campus breaks down the wing, inside for Wardak, to Väge! Over to Skotnes arriving! Skotneeeeees no! Inches wide! Ohh Hardcheese was beaten there, but it remains 3-2!…
…and finally, finally Cazadores make changes. It’s Aloha and Aranha to come on..
…given away by Aranha and Sicurezza can break here…
…collected by Hardcheese, the crowd demand a quick ball out, they’re desperate here…
…Cazadores getting increasingly desperate and Dane Pridgeon has already been booked! It’s Pridgeon who’s sent off! Cazadores down to 10-men…
…Sicurezza content to sit back as we enter the final minutes…
…OH WHAT A GOAL! FROM NOWHERE! FROM ABSOLUTE NOWHERE! WHERE HAS THAT COME FROM! Fully 35 yards! Has Francis Sutherland rescued this one for…

Logan Osborn’s sixtieth-minute header was enough to separate the two sides as Shamrock Cathair registered yet another victory. Shamrock open a three-point gap between themselves and second place as Cazadores fall back to fourth. Next week’s crunch derby is every bit a six pointer as Shamrock travel to the centre of the city to face reigning champions 1830 Cathair

Matchday 31

The National League
Cazadores 3-3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Vidal ‘7, ’55
Vâge ’31
Wardak ’40, ’42
Sutherland ’89

KT Itzalovalle 3–2 Oljestaden IF
Silexhera FC 2–1 Artiglieria
Bombarralense 2–0 Burdoc Ridge
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Osborn ’59

AS Marcadia 0–1 1830 Cathair
The National League.         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           22   15   1   6    36   21  +15    46
 2 1830 Cathair               21   13   4   4    47   22  +25    43
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             23   12   7   4    49   34  +15    43
 4 Cazadores Cathair          21   12   6   3    28   16  +12    42
 5 Bombarralense              22   11   4   7    44   39   +5    37
 6 KT Moreazerua              21   11   4   6    31   27   +4    37
 7 KT Itzalovalle             21   10   5   6    33   21  +12    35
…

…Shamrock Cathair get us underway here in our lunch-time fixture, clad in all green. 1830 Cathair in their traditional white and blue stripes, short a number of key players due to injury, with Lomax still recovering from his knock and va Drake not yet fit enough to make the matchday squad after a recurrence of his ankle injury in training…
…Dean Sharp here, shot blocked, Marañón… still Marañón! And stiiiilll no! Side-netting! A let-off for Shamrock as Rickson Marañón weaves his magic once again…
..and it’s THORSTEN KRAMERRRR no! Offside! It won’t count! Ironic applause from the away fans as the Arena Kirola gradually comes to its senses…
…Osborn and Jawallawallah under increasing pressure here, but holding firm as the sides go into the break locked at 0-0..
..O’Tuathail marauding down that left wing once more, tackled by Carter, it’s fallen for Miyazawaaaaa it’s in! It’s in from the full-back! Did he mean that? Did he mean that! It looks to all the world like a cross but it loops in over the head of Tucunduvá! It’s 1-0 Shamrock! It’s a goal as important to the title race as it is bizarre!..
…still Cathair storm forward, it’s Kramer here, he’s past Van Beuren, Kramer to Shine, Shine.. waits… and that’s Erickson arriviiiiiing.. saved! Bombidillyo with the block! It’s not clear yet, back into the mixer from Soldarian, and that’s SHARP! Blocked! Marañón! No! What a tackle that is from Osborn! Marañón… what is he doing dallying there! A toe-poke! A toe-poke is all he had to…
…do here as Shamrock defend resolutely. McCurdy on for Plibersek. It’s all-hands on deck on Shamrock’s final third…
…The chip from VOCANIIII! NO! It’s off the line from McCurdy!…
…McCurdy batters the ball away and it’ll be collected by Soldarian, in for Shinra… to Shine… to Erickson! Kramer! KRAMER! OFF THE POST! And it’s away by Jawallawallah! Can Shamrock hold on…
…it’s all over! It’s a league double for Shamrock over their city rivals! 1830 Cathair 0, Shamrock 1, and it is a Six. Point. Gap. There’s only five matches to go! Have Shamrock just won the league at Arena Kirola?…

Monday night football news now, and Cazadores thinning hopes of a second National League title took a major blow today as, for the second week in succession, they failed to hold onto a narrow lead. Lindauer’s first-half strike was cancelled out by Kyran Knudsen’s far-post header, and Cazadores find themselves locked in fourth place, level with defeated Cathair and a Zozi side still enduring their second mid-season break.

Matchday 32

The National League
1830 Cathair 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Miyazawa ’48

Tenth Star Hasiera 1–2 Bombarralense
Burdoc Ridge 0–0 Silexhera FC
Artiglieria 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Lindauer ’25
Knudsen ’68
The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           23   16   1   6    37   21  +16    49
 2 1830 Cathair               22   13   4   5    47   23  +24    43
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             23   12   7   4    49   34  +15    43
 4 Cazadores Cathair          22   12   7   3    29   17  +12    43
 5 Bombarralense              23   12   4   7    46   40   +6    40
 6 KT Itzalovalle             22   11   5   6    34   21  +13    38
 7 KT Moreazerua              22   11   4   7    31   28   +3    37

And Now for Saturday’s football round-up. The main news tonight. Lee Sharp tonight declared his team’s title chances ‘dead and buried and dug up and then murdered again’ as the side lost narrowly to National League newcomers Bombarralense, for whom Leon Davis’s goal was enough to take the spoils. The reigning champions drop to third, nine points behind leaders Shamrock Cathair, rampant winners over AS Marcadia this afternoon.
 1830 Cathair may even drop to third place if Cazadores can take victory in tomorrow’s encounter with…

…Artiglieria, rooted to the bottom of The National League, kick us off here clad in red, with Cazadores in their alternative white and gold attacking the goal to your…
..right at the start! It’s unbelievable! It’s the worst possible start for Rook Cathar who can only grit his teeth in despair! Paul Calvez opens the scoring, and Artiglieria have 88 minutes to hold out…
…loud boos for Cathar’s men as they go into the half-time break a goal down. Rook Cathar… surely he has to make changes here?…
…it’s all-change on the left hand side. Etxenoz makes way for Giorgio Gucci while another Mercedinian, Christian Armani, will go into the midfield in exchange for Iago Cacho. A swashbuckling decision from Cathar…
….Koranjo coming on now for Monterroso. He’ll join Jirjii Januaa at the back for Caza, an all-Vilitan centre-half pairing…
…and that’s well intercepted from Koranjo again, he’s looked a different player since he’s come on, he looks full of confidence! It’s over to Gucci… Gucci to Armani.. Gucci again, what a turn of pace! It’s a cross! VIDAAAAL no! Saved by Bruzzese! Artiglieria hold on!
…Koranjo gets up for that one wonderfully! It’s 1-1 here! A fantastic header!…
…2-1! 2-1 Cazadores to the utter relief of the crowd! It’s cut back beautifully from Gucci and Lindauer is there!…
…through from Armani! Gucci here on the by-line… oh he’s beaten Nancarrow! Gucci! OH WHAT. A. GOAL. How has he squeezed it in from there? It’s ingenious from the Mercedinian, it’s 3-1 Cazadores, and they will go into second place!

Matchday 33

The National League
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Shamrock Cathair 4–1 AS Marcadia
Crewe ’13, 51
O’Tuathail ’55
Candelo ’81
Caceres ’88

KT Moreazerua 1–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 4–0 Burdoc Ridge
Silexhera FC 0–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Bombarralense 1–0 1830 Cathair

Cazadores Cathair 3–1 Artiglieria
Calvez ‘2
Koranjo ’58
Lindauer ’66
Gucci ’69

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           24   17   1   6    41   22  +19    52
 2 Cazadores Cathair          23   13   7   3    32   18  +14    46
 3 1830 Cathair               23   13   4   6    47   24  +23    43
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             23   12   7   4    49   34  +15    43
 5 Bombarralense              24   13   4   7    47   40   +7    43
 6 KT Itzalovalle             23   12   5   6    38   21  +17    41
 7 KT Moreazerua              23   12   4   7    32   28   +4    40
 8 Silexhera FC               24    9   7   8    30   31   −1    34
 9 Oljestaden IF              26    9   6  11    62   51  +11    33
10 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      27    7   9  11    45   61  −16    30
11 AS Marcadia                23    7   8   8    49   45   +4    29
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      23    7   4  12    40   49   −9    25
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         23    5   3  15    26   48  −22    18
14 Burdoc Ridge               24    3   4  17    33   62  −29    13
15 Artiglieria                25    1   5  19    30   67  −37     8

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Feb 19, 2020 10:55 am

Giorgio Gucci’s seventieth minute strike was enough for Cazadores to overcome Central rivals Burdoc Ridge this afternoon, as Cazadores halve the gap between themselves and league leaders Shamrock, who had a bye-week. Man of the match Inteali Koranjo, along with Vilitan defensive partner Jirjii Januaa, were praised for their heroics in keeping a resurgent Burdoc Ridge at bay for the final minutes.

Elsewhere, Patrick Courtois has called Zozi’s title challenge ‘completely over’ as his side fail to take all three points from Sicurezza. Zozi, eight points adrift of the top with only four games to go, need a lot of other results to go their way in order to even qualify for the Champions League, while 1830 Cathair keep up the pressure with victory over Silexhera

Matchday 34

The National League
AS Marcadia 4–4 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 2–1 Silexhera FC
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
Burdoc Ridge 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Gucci ’70

Artiglieria 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 3–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3–3 AC Izotz Zubia
The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           24   17   1   6    41   22  +19    52
 2 Cazadores Cathair          24   14   7   3    33   18  +15    49
 3 1830 Cathair               24   14   4   6    49   25  +24    46
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             24   12   8   4    52   37  +15    44
 5 Bombarralense              25   13   5   7    51   44   +7    44
 6 KT Moreazerua              24   13   4   7    33   28   +5    43
 7 KT Itzalovalle             24   12   6   6    38   21  +17    42

Cazadores make it two clean-sheets in a row as they close the gap between themselves and Shamrock to just one point. Shamrock will face a tricky away tie against sixth-placed Bombarralense on Sunday afternoon, hoping to put the gap back to three points…

…three points clear if it stays like this! Alexander Crewe at the far post, it’s 1-0 Shamrock…
…have some defending to do here as Leon Davis comes forward, it’s over to Ambrosia Chance on the left, there’s bodies arriving, Chance to Frankeeeen saaaved by Bombidillyo!…
…who claws that one over the bar, Shamrock looking on dangerous ground here…
…half-time whistle which could not have come soon enough for Shamrock Cathair, 1-0 up but seemingly content to sit on their lead…
…lead was almost extended there! Rosewing with the diving header at the near-post but it’s off the inside of the woodwork and rolls agonisingly beside, but not over, the line!..
…and that’s another yellow card for Shamrock, they’re beginning to get frustrated here. Scicchitano with the chip into the box, that’s a poor header from Jawallawallah and it’s MISHIMAAAA! No! Just wide from the hybrid Hinojin….
…Davis to Way as Bombarralense come again, and Way’s been taken down here and it’s Alexander Crewe the culprit.. Crewe has already been booked! And he walks! Bombarralense will play the final five with an extra man…
..men over on the right here if Muzquiz can find one… it’s Chance. Chance for Chance! It’s loose! DAVIS! GOAL! GOAL Bombarral! It’s Leon Davis! And have Bombarralense rescued a point here? Has a spanner been thrown into the works for Shamrock?…

Matchday 35

The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Oljestaden IF
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 4–4 Artiglieria
KT Moreazerua 5–0 Burdoc Ridge
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Lindauer ’32
Armani ’81

KT Itzalovalle 0–1 1830 Cathair
Silexhera FC 1–2 AS Marcadia
Bombarralense 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
Crewe ’17
Davis ’87
The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           25   17   2   6    42   23  +19    53
 2 Cazadores Cathair          25   15   7   3    35   18  +17    52
 3 1830 Cathair               25   15   4   6    50   25  +25    49
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             25   13   8   4    53   37  +16    47
 5 KT Moreazerua              25   14   4   7    38   28  +10    46
 6 Bombarralense              26   13   6   7    52   45   +7    45
 7 KT Itzalovalle             25   12   6   7    38   22  +16    42

Shamrock Cathair bounced back from last week’s disappointment to thrash Silexhera by six goals to three today. They increase their lead at the top of the table to four points, but will have to wait for the results of Sunday afternoon’s derby. Second faces third as Cazadores Cathair take on city rivals 1830 Cathair

…Cazadores are in fine form, zero goals conceded over two games, Januaa and Koranjo working like clockwork at the back. They start with Christian Armani on the right wing, and here he is now, cutting inside, laying the ball to Pridgeon who shoots from distance! But it’s over the bar with Tucunduvá watching on anxiously…
…Armani again here, he’s got the measure of Gibson on that right wing, it’s in to Alexander Crewe! Saved by Tucunduvá! Acrobatically batted over the bar, and Cazadores have their foot on the gas here…
…here’s another chance! It’s Vidal sprinting onto the ball! He’s got a two yard head-start on the defender, it’s Vidaaaal no! Tucunduvá narrows the angle and that shot slides agonizingly wide of the goal…
…1830 Cathair are without a single point in derbies against their capital city rivals this season, but they look to change that here, it’s Sharp to Marañón, Marañón to Shine! Pristina Shine! Wide! A warning for Cazadores, they will not have it easy today…
…half-time comes, zero all. If it stays like this, Shamrock will, effectively, be four points away from the title…
…and here’s Dean Sharp, that’s a speculative effooorroohh off the bar!…
…Vidal here plays it through! And Lindauerrrrrr no! Blocked by the advancing Tucunduvá!…
…and here’s Thorsten Kramer again, driving 1830 Cathair forward… it’s played to va Drake, va Drake back to Kramer and that’s a wonderful ball! It’s Shakira Handris! GOAL! GOAL 1830 Cathair! It’s Handris the substitute! The capacity crowd finally starts making some noise! Have 1830 Cathair finally….

Matchday 36

The National League
Shamrock Cathair 6–3 Silexhera FC
Latten ‘3
Vocani ‘8
Millar ’13
Vaughan ’40
Estanche ’45+1
H. Hoogervorst ’62, ’67, ’79
Rosewing ’90+3

AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 KT Moreazerua
Burdoc Ridge 1–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Artiglieria 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Handris ’61
The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           26   18   2   6    48   26  +22    56
 2 1830 Cathair               26   16   4   6    51   25  +26    52
 3 Cazadores Cathair          26   15   7   4    35   19  +16    52
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             26   14   8   4    54   37  +17    50
 5 KT Moreazerua              26   15   4   7    40   28  +12    49
 6 KT Itzalovalle             26   13   6   7    39   22  +17    45
 7 Bombarralense              26   13   6   7    52   45   +7    45

The penultimate stage of the National League has been completed, we have a final picture of how the title run-in will look.

Cazadores Cathair, three-one winners over Marcadia, will still cling to their outside-shot of winning the title. Above them, 1830 Cathair look in impetuous form as they clobber Moreazerua by five goals to one and, with a full-strength squad once again, will welcome twelfth-placed Tout-Puissant Hasiera to the Arena Kirola.
 Assuming the reigning champions beat their struggling opponents, Shamrock Cathair will need a victory in their final game to secure the league title. All is not so clear, though. Tout-Puissant Hasiera require just one point to avoid falling into the relegation playoff, so may bring the team bus onto the field with them against the title challengers.

That final game will be one of the fiercest derbies in recent memory, as the leaders host cross-capital rivals Cazadores Cathair in what amounts to a title play-off.

The two sides, rumoured to currently be featured in a documentary series, will play for the Audioslavian Championship over ninety minutes. Should the match end in a draw, it’s very likely that 1830 Cathair, and not Shamrock or Cazadores, will take the title…

Matchday 37

The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Burdoc Ridge
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 1–5 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 2–2 Shamrock Cathair
Silexhera FC 2–2 Bombarralense

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           27   18   3   6    50   28  +22    57
 2 1830 Cathair               27   17   4   6    56   26  +30    55
 3 Cazadores Cathair          27   16   7   4    38   20  +18    55
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             27   15   8   4    57   37  +20    53
 5 KT Moreazerua              27   15   4   8    41   33   +8    49
 6 KT Itzalovalle             27   13   7   7    41   24  +17    46
 7 Bombarralense              27   13   7   7    54   47   +7    46
 8 Oljestaden IF              28   10   6  12    65   53  +12    36
 9 Silexhera FC               28    9   8  11    37   43   −6    35
10 AS Marcadia                27    8   9  10    56   54   +2    33
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      28    7  10  11    48   64  −16    31
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      27    8   6  13    47   57  −10    30
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         27    5   4  18    26   53  −27    19
14 Burdoc Ridge               28    3   5  20    34   72  −38    14
15 Artiglieria                28    1   6  21    34   73  −39     9

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Feb 21, 2020 3:06 pm

Matchday 38

The National League
Bombarralense 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 4–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               28   18   4   6    60   26  +34    58
 2 Shamrock Cathair           28   18   4   6    52   30  +22    58
 3 Cazadores Cathair          28   16   8   4    40   22  +18    56
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             28   15   9   4    58   38  +20    54
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   16   4   8    42   33   +9    52
 6 KT Itzalovalle             28   13   8   7    42   25  +17    47
 7 Bombarralense              28   13   8   7    55   48   +7    47
 8 Oljestaden IF              28   10   6  12    65   53  +12    36
 9 Silexhera FC               28    9   8  11    37   43   −6    35
10 AS Marcadia                28    8   9  11    56   55   +1    33
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      28    7  10  11    48   64  −16    31
12 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28    8   6  14    47   61  −14    30
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         28    5   5  18    27   54  −27    20
14 Burdoc Ridge               28    3   5  20    34   72  −38    14
15 Artiglieria                28    1   6  21    34   73  −39     9

National League Two          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Koroatuz                38   22  10   6    52   25  +27    76
 2 KT Ferramendiak            38   22   6  10    79   58  +21    72
 3 Osarese Marcadia           38   20  10   8    54   31  +23    70
 4 The Oran                   38   21   5  12    67   46  +21    68
 5 Excelsior Zijweg           38   18   9  11    68   58  +10    63
 6 KT Laranjauzia             38   18   8  12    59   47  +12    62
 7 Sobrevolante               38   16  12  10    65   50  +15    60
 8 Eletti Valligiani          38   17   7  14    84   70  +14    58
 9 Santa Margarida            38   16  10  12    69   59  +10    58
10 CdF Celtade                38   18   4  16    55   49   +6    58
11 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      38   16   8  14    65   61   +4    56
12 Laranjeiras                38   16   5  17    53   53    0    53
13 Hibernação                 38   15   6  17    69   71   −2    51
14 CF Herradores              38   14   7  17    55   60   −5    49
15 Corações                   38   14   6  18    67   69   −2    48
16 Huiszwalluw FC             38   10  14  14    45   54   −9    44
17 Necromarinai               38   12   4  22    64   81  −17    40
18 Iron Brewery               38    9   9  20    50   72  −22    36
19 Uniao Tortuguita           38   10   4  24    63   91  −28    34
20 Viking Halehavn*           38    2   4  32    26  104  −78   -10
* Docked 20 points for entering administration

R41                                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías      40   28   6   6    83   36  +47    90
 2 Sporting Clube Marinheiros          40   26   9   5    72   27  +45    87
 3 Crossport Dynamo                    40   23   7  10    67   45  +22    76
 4 C.D. Portobranco                    40   21  11   8    52   33  +19    74
 5 Crossport Mariners                  40   20  12   8    54   36  +18    72
 6 DDM Dunas Secas                     40   22   6  12    55   43  +12    72
 7 Alistoun Academicals                40   19  12   9    54   37  +17    69
 8 Reina Del Sud                       40   17  16   7    57   39  +18    67
 9 SC Laivanrakentajas                 40   17  14   9    76   52  +24    65
10 Valens AV                           40   17  14   9    61   44  +17    65
11 Kitherwell                          40   17  14   9    68   58  +10    65
12 Vidrieros                           40   19   8  13    68   61   +7    65
13 Valão                               40   17  13  10    54   29  +25    64
14 KT Kanpoldelko                      40   18  10  12    59   54   +5    64
15 Guerrilla Cathair                   40   16  15   9    53   39  +14    63
16 United Cathair FC                   40   17  11  12    72   53  +19    62
17 Ceilerden Harp                      40   17  10  13    64   52  +12    61
18 Frecce                              40   17  10  13    57   54   +3    61
19 Lemmitania State FC                 40   17  10  13    68   67   +1    61
20 2130 Calolziolungho                 40   15  15  10    52   49   +3    60
21 CdFS Ilheiros                       40   16  10  14    57   53   +4    58
22 KT Ferratzaileak                    40   17   7  16    61   70   −9    58
23 Ceilerden Rovers                    40   15  12  13    51   41  +10    57
24 Sparta Zijweg                       40   13  15  12    51   57   −6    54
25 Clockwork FC                        40   16   4  20    45   56  −11    52
26 Orquideas                           40   13  12  15    58   56   +2    51
27 CF Cruceros                         40   13  12  15    41   46   −5    51
28 Valderantia United                  40   11  15  14    58   67   −9    48
29 Coile Owls                          40   13   5  22    51   61  −10    44
30 Calcio Lecho                        40    9  16  15    40   59  −19    43
31 Maccabi Hasiera                     40   10   9  21    51   77  −26    39
32 Viking Hryggur                      40   10   8  22    51   73  −22    38
33 Ross Railway                        40    9   9  22    44   73  −29    36
34 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz            40    7  14  19    38   60  −22    35
35 Cerejeiras                          40    8  11  21    57   84  −27    35
36 Glasgar Rebels                      40    9   7  24    39   65  −26    34
37 Fundición                           40    7  11  22    41   56  −15    32
38 Steelworks                          40    7   9  24    31   62  −31    30
39 Coile Blades                        40    6  11  23    39   66  −27    29
40 PLFC                                40    7   7  26    39   66  −27    28
41 Glasgar Royals                      40    6   9  25    28   61  −33    27

by **Audioslavia** » Wed May 20, 2020 7:25 am

Season Eleven

Part One

Matchday 1
Silexhera FC 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Koroatuz 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 1–3 Cazadores Cathair

Matchday 2
Oljestaden IF 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 KT Koroatuz
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Matchday 3
Bombarralense 3–0 Osarese Marcadia
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–3 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 4
AS Marcadia 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 KT Ferramendiak
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3–0 Bombarralense

Matchday 5
National League
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
1830 Cathair 3–0 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 0–0 AS Marcadia

National League                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                       5    4   1   0    14    4  +10    13
 2 KT Moreazerua                        5    3   1   1     4    2   +2    10
 3 Cazadores Cathair                    4    3   0   1     7    3   +4     9
 4 KT Itzalovalle                       4    2   1   1     4    5   −1     7
 5 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi                3    2   0   1     4    1   +3     6
 6 Shamrock Cathair                     5    1   3   1     7    7    0     6
 7 AS Marcadia                          5    1   3   1     3    4   −1     6
 8 Osarese Marcadia                     4    1   1   2     1    6   −5     4
 9 1830 Cathair                         1    1   0   0     3    0   +3     3
10 Bombarralense                        2    1   0   1     3    3    0     3
11 KT Ferramendiak                      2    0   1   1     0    1   −1     1
12 Oljestaden IF                        4    0   1   3     2    6   −4     1
13 Tenth Star Hasiera                   3    0   0   3     2    5   −3     0
14 Silexhera FC                         1    0   0   1     0    3   −3     0
15 KT Koroatuz                          2    0   0   2     0    4   −4     0

Looking at any league table after five matchdays never usually gives a true impression of the relative strengths of each team. This is doubly true for the Audioslavian National League. Champions 1830 Cathair are ninth, sure, but they’ve played only one game and won it handsomely.

The opening matchday of the season sees a repeat of last year’s final mattchday, with Shamrock Cathair taking on city rivals Cazadores. Shamrock, still hurting from last season’s bitter final-day defeat that cost them the league title, cannot pick themselves up and are hurt by Caza’s pace going forward. Aranha scores early, Vidal scores a second shortly after and Francis Sutherland’s lovely turn-and-shot on the edge of the area puts the game to bed before half time. Shamrock’s Rosewing gains a late consolation for the home side, who will only win once in their first five games.

1830 Cathair
(Arena Kirola, Cathair)

2. Valdemar Rasmussen (31, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Romain Capelle (35, D L, VLD)
4. Mario Valentini (34, D/DM C, AUD)
5. Jack Menard (, D C, EUR)
6. Niko Szubanski (33, D C, BRE)
7. Steve Erickson (28, AM C, HAP)
8. Liam Armstrong (, M C, EUR)
9. Pristina Shine (32, F C, EQS)
10. Thorsten Kramer (25, M/AM C, STL)
11. Rickson Marañón (29, AM LC, AUD)
12. Leona Rafford (30, D R, NPH)
13. Tucunduvá (34, G , DAI)
16. John Lomax (32, D RC, AUD)
17. Ainsley Gibson (31, D L, AFT)
18. Haarland Carter (32, D RL, AUD)
19. Puristina Shinra (26, M C, HIN)
20. Dean Sharp (32, F C, EUR)
21. Shakira Handris (29, F C, PFA)
23. Santiago Rosel (18, F C, AUD)
25. Cooper Thompson (27, G , AUD)
27. Andries Nijland (27, M R, AUD)
29. Xarles Zarragoitia (22, G , AUD)
Mng. Lee Sharp (69, F C, EUR)

Colours: White and blue striped shirts, white shorts, white socks

Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 12

COCANEFA Honours:
COCANEFA Champions: 5
CopAnaia Winners: 1

International Honours:
UICA Champions Cup / IFCF Champions League: 2
UICA Super Cup / IFCF Super Cup: 2
AOCL: 1
Cup Winners’ Cup: 1
Tropicorp Super-cup: 1

There is only one tournament that 1830 Cathair haven’t won: The Kirola Cup. Everything else, barring the two smaller UICA/IFCF tournaments, they’ve won at least once in their history and, having been crowned Champions of Audioslavia twelve times in 24 seasons, they’re undoubtedly the biggest team on the island.

Cathair’s failure to win the league title at all between years 4 and 9 of the National League made for the longest title drought in the team’s history, which was previously seasons 12 and 13 of the LigAnaia, where they finished as the second best Audioslavian club behind cross-country rivals AC Izotz Zubia. The pressure on Cathair to win, all the time, at all costs, is enormous.

The past two seasons, the capital club has stolen the league championship by an arsehair’s length, firstly by a point over Zozi, more recently on goal difference as Shamrock Cathair capitulated on the final day.

The retirements of foreign superstars Faeron Soldarian, Hazel van Robben and Espy va Drake have hit the side hard in recent years. Manager Lee Sharp’s solution has been to give the number ten shirt to S&T midfielder Thorsten Kramer, entrusting the 25 year-old to become the fulcrum of the attack. Euran midfielder Liam Armstrong joins from Starling to provide water-carrying duties, with Rickson Marañón and Steve Erickson making up what amounts to a four-man central midfield diamond. Up front, striking duties are largely shared by Pristina Shine and Dean Sharp, with young Audioslavian Santiago Rosel deputising and Poafmersia’s Shakira Handris providing options from the bench.

At the back, Cathair are one of many Audioslavian football teams to have a Daineri in goal, with the acrobatic Tucunduvá between the sticks. In front of him are the sturdy duo of John Lomax and Niko Szubanski, with young Euran Jack Menard deputising and converted DM Mario Valentini also available. Romain Capelle provides backup to Ainsley Gibson at left back, Nepharan Leona Rafford at right-back.

KT Moreazerua 2–1 Oljestaden IF
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Silexhera FC
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–5 1830 Cathair
Bombarralense 1–3 KT Ferramendiak

The champions are in imperious form as they annihialate Calcio Sicurezza Elfi in Padia. The Elders, playing only their second game of the season, are simply undeniable. Dean Sharp outmuscles Santiago Canez at the back post to power home a header for the opening goal, with Thorsten Kramer on hand to score the second and make the third, playing a gorgeously weighted lob pass over the defence for Marañon to smash home first time before Mathisen can set himself.

Dennis Våge gets a goal back for CSE after half-time, but Shakira Handris is on hand to make it four and Ainsley Gibson secures an unlikely final goal with a wayward cross that somehow loops over the goalkeeper and into the net, completing the Northern Marauders’s misery.

Osarese Marcadia
(Stadio Fabio Mancini, Marcadia)

1. Saoirise (23, G , DAI)
2. Tyson Palma (37, D R, AUD)
3. Luigi Biagi (26, D/M LC, AUD)
4. Isaia Urso (35, M C, OSR)
5. Raimundo Saade (25, D RC, AUD)
6. Gavin Mitchell (38, M C, OSR)
7. Anthony Napier (31, M RC, AUD)
8. Mauithay (23, M C, DAI)
9. Louis O'Brien (33, F C, OSR)
10. Waldemar (33, AM LC, AUD)
11. Lakhan Machaka (31, M L, SRS)
12. Lauro Tedesco (36, DM C, OSR)
13. Shinji Teruzuki (22, G , OSR)
14. Caprice Martinelli (32, DM C, OSR)
15. Mattia Di Perna (26, D C, AUD)
17. Garnett Makanza (21, F C, OSR)
18. Celestina Favelli (23, M CR, AUD)
19. Paolo Marini (29, D LC, AUD)
20. Klavdii Davydov (29, F C, AUD)
21. Adam Porro (29, D/M RL, AUD)
38. Fabio Mancini (38, M C, OSR) (Mng.)

Colours: Dark red shirts with black and gold trim

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Yes, you read that correctly. That’s the Osarian superstar Fabio Mancini managing this team. And yes, he does have a squad number. Just in case. Is Mancini a pragmatist making the best out of the fact that he has a smallish squad to play with or is he a has-been who doesn’t know when to quit and can’t resist the bright lights?

Yes.

Mancini has been the catalyst for Osarese Marcadia’s march up the divisions, and for his prowess as a manager rather than for his playing - Fabio still ‘has it’, according to all accounts, but what ‘it’ is has changed over the years. The closest he got to giving himself playing time in OM’s promotion season was eight appearances as an un-used substitute. Mancini tends to captain the ‘opposition’ side in training, usually playing central-defence (his knees have supposedly ‘gone’). The ‘opposition’ team is the second string playing in the system Fabio believes their next opponents will play.

Osarese Marcadia have a fair few Osarians on their books. The clue is in the name. Osarese have been a club at various levels for years now, taking their stock from Marcadia’s increasingly large Osarian population.

The club still employ Osarians, but these days it’s real Osarians adopting the team, such as Isasa Urso, signed from Crisisbless, and former Tout-Puissant Hasiera striker Louis O’Brien.

The pulling power of this new team can be linked to Fabio Mancini’s arrival from AC Izotz Zubia two years ago, which was met with delight from the fans, and the manager has rewarded them with two promotions in as many years to make it to the big dance this season. What’s more, they also emulated city-rivals AS Marcadia in winning the Kirola Cup.

Osarese, nicknamed The Phoenix, have another Daineri goalkeeper by way of Saoirise, though it’s Shinji Teruzuki he currently holds the number one position, if not shirt.

The vastly experienced Tyson Palma remains a fixture at right-back and, increasingly, centre-back, alongside Luigi Biagi and Raimuno Saade in a flat back three. Ahead of the defence is one of two experienced Osarian defensive midfielders, Lauro Tedesco or Caprice Martinelli, with Gavin Mitchell and Mauithay also in the centre of midfield.

Lakhan Machaka and Celestina Favelli patrol the left and right flanks respectively, with Louis O’Brien and new signing Garnett Makanza taking the reigns up front.

Matchday 7
1830 Cathair 3–2 Bombarralense
Silexhera FC 2–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Koroatuz 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 2–4 AC Izotz Zubia
AS Marcadia 0–0 KT Moreazerua

Osarese are still adjusting to life in the big league, and it shows throughout a first half wherein KT Koroatuz dominate, but Louis O’Brien’s near-post flick on sixty-two minutes squirms through the arms of Koroatuz goalkeeper Yamaj-Zorno Mal and into the net for the only goal of the game.

Osarese Marcadia, Kirola Cup holders, are very much excited to be playing in the Cup Winners’ Cup this season, and their run starts with a hard-fought away-goals victory over Quebecois team Haligonian. Yes, *that* Haligonian. The one with the lovely crest.

AC Izotz Zubia
(Soldaduak Eremuaberria, Izotzazubia )

1. Gentle Breeze (33, G , EQS)
2. Leonardo Ceron (19, D C, AUD)
3. Viriato Ramires (20, D LC, AUD)
4. Storm Holsen (34, DM C, AUD)
5. Matteo Corriere (27, D RC, AUD)
6. Michael Christie (22, D C, SCT)
7. Wilfried Baume (27, F C, VLD)
8. Tigran Deschapelles (19, M C, AUD)
10. Kyran Knudsen (26, AM L, AUD)
11. Vesuvia Carrick (30, F C, BRE)
13. Branadru (32, G , DAI)
15. Txomin Lacouague (30, D LC, AUD)
17. Alessandro Juliana (30, M CR, AUD)
18. Coridai (22, F C, DAI)
20. Elian Bra (19, F C, AUD)
21. Kindling Martikorena (27, M RC, AUD)
22. Zafarullah Hamdani (20, M RC, AUD)
23. Larry Martinez (22, D L, NWK)
24. Powtapwinco Gonzalez (28, G , AUD)
25. Angelo Castaldo (18, D/M RCL, AUD)
29. Anwar Bracero (30, D/M RL, AUD)
31. Javier Besoitagoena (22, M C, AUD)
37. Imanol Etxaurren (22, AM RL, AUD)
99. Valrauncion (816, F RCL, KRY)
Mng. Patrick Courtois (44, D C, VLD)

Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 9
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 3

COCANEFA Honours:
COCANEFA Champions: 2

International Honours:
UICA Champions Cup / IFCF Champions League: 1
AOCL: 2
Cup Winners’ Cup: 1

Ah, Zozi. Silver and salmon hooped shirts, big money, big ego signings, Audioslavians with weird names, titles upon titles upon titles, yet still eclipsed entirely by 1830 Cathair. AC Izotz Zubia are the foreign hipster’s choice for Audioslavian football clubs. At least when they’re not winning *too* much.

With four titles from the National League’s first ten seasons, AC Izotz Zubia are the most successful side of the current era, but things haven’t gone their way recently. Cathair have been crowned champions the past two seasons, and some awful displays in the Champions League has left their fans frustrated.

And then Laborious Hawk left.

Audioslavian fans had almost gotten used to the sight of a slowing, yet keen-minded Hawk dictating play in Zozi’s opponents’ half of the field. With his seventy-five million dollar transfer over to Bastion in Eura, those days are over. In terms of big-money elves, the side still have Valrauncion, but Valrauncion is the pretty vase on the mantlepiece, whereas Hawk was the entire house.

Zozi have a lot of work to do this season.

The squad still looks strong. Valrauncion will be on the right wing in a 4-3-3 formation, with new signing Kyran Knudsen on the left and either Wilfred Baume or Vesuvia Carrick in the centre of a three-pronged attack.

In midfield, an aging Storm Holsen retains his role as defensive midfielder, with Tigran Deschapelles a hard-tackling, athletic accomplice. The two will rely on 30 year-old Audioslavian midfielder Alessandro Juliana as playmaker - quite the downgrade from Laborious Hawk - with the likes of Etxaurren, Besoitagoena and Zafarullah Hamdani itching for game-time from the bench.

A young defence will play fairly flat, with Leonardo Ceron partnering Michael Christie in the middle, with Ramires and Corriere either side, though the arrival of young Kalactin defender may cause a selection-headache for Courtois at left-back. In goal, Gentle Breeze. Solid.

Matchday 8
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 AS Marcadia
Osarese Marcadia 2–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Bombarralense 1–0 Silexhera FC
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 1830 Cathair

‘Solid’ is about the best way you could describe Zozi’s uninspired 12:30 kickoff against AS Marcadia. A Zubia side largely devoid of ideas other than ‘keep passing it around the box and maybe someone will fall over’ looks ridiculous until, with Vega Lage’s stumble, it’s suddenly proven not. Juliana sprints into the gap and manages to poke the ball towards Wilfred Baume, who manages to poke the ball past Liam McAdam at the second attempt.

[align=center]
Tenth Star Hasiera
(Syndicate Stadium, Hasiera)

1. Arnold Slade (28, G , AUD)
2. Erik Silberg (28, D R, AUD)
3. Thomas Jukes (29, D/M L, AUD)
4. Peter Burrell (29, M RC, AUD)
5. James McWhorter (23, D C, AUD)
7. Alexander Ninestar (33, M C, AUD)
8. Ignatius Jones (28, AM LC, AUD)
9. Harrison McIntyre (27, F C, AUD)
10. Jean-Michel Lagadec (32, F C, AUD)
11. Naphtali Thatcher (37, M L, BRE)
12. Vícenç Trévidic (21, F C, AUD)
13. Christopher Asentzio (30, G , AUD)
16. Sean Prior (25, M/F C, AUD)
17. Jamie Dunbar (25, M LC, AUD)
18. Erphinstatdt Tstinstaphensteitd (23, M C, AUD)
19. Thomas Giovannetti (29, D/F C, AUD)
20. Randell Tur (29, F C, AUD)
21. Joseph Mayes (19, AM C, AUD)
Mng. Jean-Pablo Costacurta-Groove (39, M R, ESI)

Colours: Dark blue shirts, shorts and socks.

International Honours:
Series B Champions Cup: 1

Oh, Tenth Star. Favourites to go down last year, they somehow escaped the relegation playoffs, sending city rivals Tout-Puissant down in their place.

This season, their star player is still Naphtali Thatcher. Still. He’s 37. Alexander Ninestar, Erik Silberg and Harrison McIntyre were all once prospects. They’re now either 30-something or pushing it. The smallest side in the league, Tenth Star are heavy favourites for the drop.

Tenth Star Hasiera started out as the immigrant club of settlers from The Inevitable Syndicate, the nation famed for nine stars on its flag.

Their encounter with Calcio Sicurezza Elfi comes after a torrid start to the season. One draw, three defeats, bottom of the table. Their luck doesn’t turn. A mistake by Jukes in defence lets in Våge to score the only goal of the game, reigniting Sicurezza’s season and leaving their fans wondering whether they’ll be able to come back up next season. The second flight seems iminent.

Matchday 9
Silexhera FC 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Koroatuz 1–1 Bombarralense
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Shamrock Cathair
(Glass Bridge Stadium, Cathair)

1. Bombidillyo (29, G , DAI)
2. Atsuhiro Miyazawa (25, D R, OSR)
4. Jay Van Beuren (31, DM C, AUD)
5. Logan Osborn (29, D LC, AUD)
6. Les Jawallawalla (21, D/M C, APX)
7. Yohan Millar (26, M/F CR, EFL)
9. Aldo Vocani (37, F C, MRN)
10. Alexander Crewe (32, F C, APX)
11. Rosewing (29, F C, EQS)
12. Derrick McLendon (28, D LC, AUD)
13. Illya Karapetrov (28, D L, STL)
14. Danira Plibersek (33, M C, NPH)
16. Samuel McCurdy (30, M RC, AUD)
17. Gilbert Hoogervorst (19, D R, AUD)
18. Colm O'Tuathail (24, M L, KSK)
19. Hubert Hoogervorst (21, F C, AUD)
20. Osman Candelo (35, AM C, VLD)
26. Thomas McGregor (31, G , AUD)
Mng. Rohan Cammers (47, M C, APX)

Colours: Green shirts with gold trim, green shorts, green socks.
Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

International Honours:
Vilitan Cove Invitational: 1

Cammers’ Shammers maintain much of the team that did so well last season. Bombidillyo in goals, Miyazawa and Karapetrov the full-backs, Jawallawalla and Osborn in the centre of defence. A midfield diamond of Van Beuren, Millar, O’Tuathail and Pilbersek followed by Crewe and either Vocani or Rosewing up front.

Shamrock Cathair won their first international honours last season, taking the Vilitan Cove Invitational. Nobody cared. Nobody cared at all. The end-of-season defeat to Cazadores knocked the absolute stuffing out of the club, who were denied only their second ever league championship with almost the final kick of the league season.

They have been unable to pick themselves up in time for the start of the season.
Matchday 10
National League
Osarese Marcadia 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–0 KT Itzalovalle
Bombarralense 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Ferramendiak 4–1 KT Koroatuz
1830 Cathair 2–0 Silexhera FC
An Osarese team still excited to be playing in the top flight run out 2-1 winners, scoring through Mauithay and Machaka and not looking back, despite Vocani’s late consolation.
National League                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                       9    6   2   1    19    7  +12    20
 2 KT Moreazerua                        8    4   3   1     6    3   +3    15
 3 Osarese Marcadia                     9    4   2   3     8   11   −3    14
 4 1830 Cathair                         5    4   0   1    13    4   +9    12
 5 Cazadores Cathair                    5    4   0   1     8    3   +5    12
 6 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi                8    4   0   4     8    9   −1    12
 7 KT Ferramendiak                      6    3   1   2     8    4   +4    10
 8 Bombarralense                        7    3   1   3     9   10   −1    10
 9 KT Itzalovalle                       6    3   1   2     6    8   −2    10
10 AS Marcadia                          7    1   4   2     3    5   −2     7
11 Shamrock Cathair                     6    1   3   2     8    9   −1     6
12 Silexhera FC                         6    2   0   4     3    7   −4     6
13 KT Koroatuz                          6    1   1   4     3   10   −7     4
14 Tenth Star Hasiera                   6    0   1   5     4    9   −5     1
15 Oljestaden IF                        6    0   1   5     5   12   −7     1
Osarese Marcadia’s win takes them up to third, albeit having played more games than anyone but Zozi, who are five clear at the top. Of the capital clubs, Cathair and Caza look in fine fettle, but Shamrock’s hangover from last season hasn’t abated. The team are eleventh with only one win to their name.

At the bottom, Tenth Star’s position is of no surprise, but the team level on points with them are looking around and scratching their heads.

[box]

Oljestaden IF
(Hygolje Arena, Oljestaden)

1. Zebjan Istanjovich (40, G , SIC)
2. Maas Hadler (31, D C, MRN)
3. Santiago Santiago (24, D L, TAE)
4. Hans Jäggman (37, D C, SVJ)
5. Tomp McCloud (38, D CL, COS)
6. Pelle Juergensen (20, D/M R, AUD)
7. Navarro lo Squadro (34, M R, FFD)
8. Tofer Kahlor (26, AM C, COS)
9. Kletus Tosset (24, F C, COS)
10. Funanya Nwapa (38, M C, COS)
11. Jack Churchfather (30, AM L, NPH)
12. Donato Castillo (23, G , EFL)
13. Kasperi Otalainen (29, F C, SVJ)
14. Badminton (36, M C, DAI)
15. Vulav-Izilv Lec (18, DM C, QUS)
17. Torvald Ebben (25, M C, SRS)
18. Eric Soren (19, D RC, AUD)
28. Krijn Van de Velde (27, M/F RC, AUD)
91. Cocoabo #91 (?!, F C, TUR)
Mng. Tomas Kristofics (41, DM C, PIS)

Colours: Light blue shirts with orange trip, white shorts, orange socks.

COCANEFA Honours:
CopAnaia: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 2

The loss of Kyran Knudsen to AC Izotz Zubia was a massive blow to Oljestaden, who are shorn of one of their main goalscoring and chance creating threats. The odd-couple strike partnership of Cocoabo 91 and Cosumarite striker Kletus Tosset are living off scraps, with midfielders Lo Squadro, Badminton and Nwapa increasingly ineffective at 34, 36 and 38 years old respectively. Van de Velde, Ebben and Otalainen have been seeing more game-time, but have yet to truly bed into the team. At the back, Santiago Santiago and Maas Hadler are making the best of a bad situation, but with captain Tomp McCloud often injured and, these days, often 38, the small squad is being stretched thin.

Oljestaden were one of the original six professional Audioslavian teams in the first season of the LigAnaia. They’ve spent the longest time out of the top division, compared to the other five, but they’re not quite the least successful. The Oilers used to have a habit of winning cup competitions, though that tradition seems to have died down. Oljestaden, nicknamed ‘Olga’, is strange as far as Audioslavian football clubs go, in that it’s a top team that isn’t from either the greater Cathair area, Herradura or the eastern coast. Based in the far north, with lowly Isle of Kjeligsted as their closest rivals, Oljestaden always have to travel much further than any other team every season.

Matchday 11
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 Oljestaden IF
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–4 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
1830 Cathair 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Silexhera FC 0–1 KT Koroatuz

Oljestaden remain rooted to the bottom as they, and relegation rivals Tenth Star, are comfortably beaten on one of the side’s many travels. Louis O’Brien and Waldemar are the scorers for the home team, who keep up the pressure at the top of the league.

KT Itzalovalle
(The Antzerkia, Ferramendiak)

1. Vianca (24, G , DAI)
3. Anxo Osorio (24, D RL, AUD)
4. Moses Moxey (17, M C, AUD)
5. Randell Arrizabalaga (36, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (21, DM C, AUD)
8. Wilhelm Nkitilina (21, F C, TAE)
9. August Thompson (30, F C, AUD)
10. Metan Cordean (32, M/AM C, COS)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (21, M RL, AUD)
12. Gabirel Zozaia (19, F C, AUD)
13. Zakuty (22, F C, DAI)
14. Jiskastnya (22, F C, DAI)
15. Jane Glamorgan (35, D R, BRE)
17. Axl Langager (34, D LC, AUD)
19. Sandro Quintal (29, F C, AUD)
23. Mikolaus Muguruza (31, D C, AUD)
25. Laurentzi Arenaza (20, M L, AUD)
29. Xabat Legarza (20, M C, AUD)
Mng. Ager Alaba (44, M C, ASG)

Colours: Red shirts with black sleeves, black shorts, red socks

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Oljestaden IF aren’t the least successful of the Original Six. That ‘honour’ belongs to KT Itzalovalle.

Itzi had emerged as the nation’s thirdmost prominent team in the early days of the LigAnaia, finishing in the Globe Cup spots in seven of the LigAnaia’s fourteen seasons, never once being relegated from the top flight.

The advent of the National League saw Itzalovalle finish in the top five in their first four seasons, including a third-placed finish in season one, but the side’s fortunes would begin to change. A stagnant, flabby Itzalovalle team finished seventh in season five. They rang the changes and flopped dramatically in season six, were humiliated in the relegation playoff and dropped into the second flight for the first time in their professional history.

Fate wasn’t done with them yet. Season eight would be the final one of the 10-10-20 era of Audioslavian football, as the top flight expanded to fifteen teams, meaning the top six of the second tier would be in with a shout of promotion. Itzalovalle, favourites to win the second division at the start of the season, finished eighth.

Automatic promotion finally followed next year, and Itzi have hit form again, finishing fifth and sixth in their first two years back, but the fans have not forgotten or forgiven the club for their spectacular fall from grace, and every decision made by management is subject to the highest scrutiny.
 Take the decision to send teenage striker Gabirel Zozaia on an extended loan to Euran club Whitepill, for example. Zozaia has since become a starter for the national side, and many believe the player would rather find a new club than return to Ferramendiak for next season. Itzi can cash in, but these days it’s not money that they lack, it’s good football.

With Moses Moxey in midfield, that may chance. The Audioslavian teenager has caught a few eyes in recent years, and with Arial Skidoomacher and Cosumarite midfielder Metan Cordean alongside Itzi look capable in the centre of the park. Wilhelm Nkitilina and August Thompson have bonded well up front, with the Daineri pairing of Jiskastyna and Zakuty ready to jump in from the bench.

At the back, Randell Arrizabalaga, Jane Glamorgan and Axl Langager provide some much needed experience with young full-back Osorio often making winding runs from the back.

Oh, and they have a Daineri goalkeeper. Because of course they do.

Matchday 12
KT Koroatuz 0–6 1830 Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 4–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Cazadores Cathair 1–4 Osarese Marcadia

Itzalovalle’s season has been a total non-starter so far, and a miserable home defeat to Bombarralense has their fans yelling abuse as the team trudge from the field.

Bombarralense
(Estadio das Trevas, Bombarral)

1. Uolleys (29, G , DAI)
2. Francis Harrow (32, D R, AUD)
3. Anjem Gazzah (31, D L, AUD)
4. Edoardo Scicchitano (32, M LC, AUD)
5. Jan Kuby (28, D C, AUD)
6. Beck Clayborn (29, D C, BRE)
7. Leon Davis (25, F C, HVY)
8. Amir Muzquiz (33, DM C, AUD)
9. Jinpachi Mishima (26, G/D/DM C, HIN)
10. Gabriël Franken (33, F C, AUD)
11. Jordi Valeri (24, M LC, AUD)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (30, D C, SRS)
13. Vanessa Way (33, D L, BRE)
14. Dwayne Iturriza (34, M L, AUD)
15. Szescõ Erôss (17, D C, PAS)
16. Benjamin Beffa (31, F C, AUD)
17. Abid Awan (33, M CL, AUD)
19. Ambrosia Chance (34, M L, BRE)
20. Craig Harris (21, D C, HVY)

Colours: Red shirts, shorts and socks

In recent years a number of teams have come up from the second tier and impressed in the National League. Artiglieria, Eletti Valligiani, Burdoc Ridge and Tout-Puissant Hasiera spring to mind. All those teams are currently in the second tier. None of them could keep the pace for more than a few seasons.

Bombarralense are only the second Lusitaninhan team to reach the top flight after Santa Margarida’s cup of coffee a few seasons ago, and have been a revelation thus far, finishing seventh in the league, eleven points off the top and eleven points from eighth place.

The first eleven consists of Uolleys in goal, with a very flat five-man defence of Craig Harris (Hayvnwilde), Beck Clayborn and Vanessa Way (Brenecia), Szescõ Erôss (Pasarga) and Daczibog Ketadzic (Squornshelous) with the versatile defender Jinpachi Mishima (Hinode) as cover. From that base, Bombarralense have plenty of players that can launch quick attacks, such as Audioslavian midfielders Edoardo Scicchitano and Jordi Valeri, striker Gabriel Franken, Brencian Ambrosia Chance, the feisty Amir Muzquiz and star-striker Leon Davis of Hayvnwilde.

Matchday 13
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–0 Silexhera FC
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 3–0 KT Ferramendiak
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AS Marcadia 0–0 Osarese Marcadia

The min-maxing defence and attack approach doesn’t always go Bombarralense’s way, and although they cause problems for Cazadores, they leave the capital with nothing as another Hayvnwilder, Francis Sutherland, notches the only goal of the game. Time and time again, Bombarralense are repelled by a Cazadores defence that, with Jirijii Januaa and Inteali Koranjo bonding well, has been almost impregnable thus far.

Cazadores Cathair
(El Ruedo, Cathair)

1. Hardcheese (33, G , DAI)
2. Jerquaad (23, D CR, DAI)
3. Aurelio Saez (28, D L, AUD)
4. Bryton Menheniot (25, DM C, APX)
5. Salvador Monterroso (26, D C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (18, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (27, F C, BRE)
8. Dane Pridgeon (21, M C, COS)
9. Aranha (29, F C, DAI)
10. Olimpia Vidal (26, F C, CMT)
11. Nestor Martinez (34, AM/F C, SJG)
12. Aloha (23, F C, DAI)
14. Francis Sutherland (20, M L, HVY)
15. Giorgio Gucci (23, M L, MRC)
16. Christian Armani (22, M R, MRC)
17. Guifré Menez (19, D/M R, AUD)
19. Gaizka Etxenoz (25, M RL, AUD)
21. Mikhail Gerardo (22, F C, MRC)
22. Iago Cacho (20, DM C, AUD)
23. Theold Bracewell (28, G , NPH)
25. Jirijii Januaa (38, D LC, VIL)
Mng. Rook Cathar (48, F RLC, NPH)

Colours: Dark red shirts with black and gold trip, dark red / black shorts, black socks.

Audioslavian Champions: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Cazadores have lost Bartol Isusi and Oscar Veloso, sold to Sabrefell Athletic and Kingsgrove respectively, and have made no real signings in the transfer window, and yet the side look stronger than they did last season regardless.

The chemistry that the Vilitan pairing of Koranjo and Januaa have in defence has been unreal, conceding only three goals thus far in the season. Iago Cacho, played as a defensive midfielder, has been all-important for keeping them protected, with full-backs Jerquaad and Saez often given license to roam forward.

Francis Sutherland, occasionally called a ‘false ten’ (a role Audioslavians insist is simply ‘winger’) has become the driving force of Cazadores’ attack, with all four rotated strikers strikers Creidne Lindauer, Olimpia Vidal, Aranha and Aloha benefitting from the Hayvnwilder’s creativity. Elsewhere, Bryton Menheniot and Dane Prigeon are solid in the centre of the park while Mercedinian winger Christian Armani is getting more game-time on the right.

Cazadores look good…

Matchday 14
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 KT Moreazerua
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 AS Marcadia
Bombarralense 2–1 Oljestaden IF
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
1830 Cathair 2–0 Shamrock Cathair
Silexhera FC 0–3 KT Itzalovalle
KT Koroatuz 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera

…sometimes. The capital club travel to Ferramendiak in high spirits but are suckered by an early goal from Stanimir Rekawić. It takes 70 minutes for Cazadores to equalise, with Lindauer scrambling the equalizer, but a young Feri side refused to tire, shutting up shop and riding the match out for what could be an important point in their battle against relegation.

KT Ferramendiak
(Burdina Jauregia, Ferramendiak)

1. Jordan Yoda (29, G , AFT)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (18, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Maren Irigoyen (29, D LC, AUD)
4. Gorka Gurmendi (27, M C, AUD)
5. Rafael Borrego (32, D C, AUD)
6. Andoni Gorrindo (28, D C, AUD)
8. Kemen Goyenetche (23, M C, AUD)
9. Joshua Ferrand (23, F C, AUD)
10. Stanimir Rekawić (19, AM C, ZRH)
11. Ixaka Linda (26, M L, AUD)
12. Fathallah Echavarria (23, D/M LC, AUD)
13. Juan Esteban Corpuz (29, G , AUD)
14. Bardol Yrigoyen (23, D R, AUD)
15. Ximun Arambillet (29, D L, AUD)
17. Igon Inurrutegi (19, F C, AUD)
18. Xalbador Telleria (19, DM C, AUD)
18. Juan Sebastián Rigor (28, D C, AUD)
19. Parketh Barcena (19, F C, AUD)
Mng. Antwan Wangsgard (58, D R, AUD)

Colours: White shirts, black/white shorts, white socks.
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Ferramendiak have always been the poorer relations to city-rivals KT Itzalovalle, so it’s with considerable mirth that the Ferramendiak fans note that they have exactly as many trophies as Itzi: One.

Feri last played in the top flight in season five, and have had some torrid years in the second flight, but they return with a young side to totally not fall into the trap wherein audio talks about a team and then has them lose.

Matchday 15
National League
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Koroatuz
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 Silexhera FC
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 5–1 KT Ferramendiak
AS Marcadia 1–2 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Osarese Marcadia

Totally.

National League                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    14    7   4   3    17   13   +4    25
 2 Cazadores Cathair                   10    7   1   2    18    9   +9    22
 3 KT Itzalovalle                      11    7   1   3    12    9   +3    22
 4 1830 Cathair                        10    7   0   3    24    8  +16    21
 5 AC Izotz Zubia                      10    6   3   1    20    8  +12    21
 6 Bombarralense                       12    6   1   5    15   15    0    19
 7 Shamrock Cathair                    11    5   3   3    20   15   +5    18
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi               13    5   1   7    12   19   −7    16
 9 KT Moreazerua                       10    4   3   3     6    6    0    15
10 AS Marcadia                         10    2   5   3     5    7   −2    11
11 KT Ferramendiak                     11    3   2   6    10   15   −5    11
12 KT Koroatuz                         10    3   1   6     6   17  −11    10
13 Silexhera FC                        10    2   1   7     4   14  −10     7
14 Oljestaden IF                       10    1   2   7    12   18   −6     5
15 Tenth Star Hasiera                  10    1   2   7     5   13   −8     5

No, your eyes are not deceiving you, that is newly-promoted Osarese Marcadia at the top of the National League. Don’t panic just yet, though. Despite winning half their games, they’ve played four more matches than most of the top 5, and have now started a run of four matchdays where they will watch from the sidelines. In four matchdays time, all teams will have played exactly fourteen games, and we’ll have a better idea of exactly who will be entering the title fight this season.

Matchday 16
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Bombarralense 1–2 KT Moreazerua
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 AS Marcadia
1830 Cathair 0–1 Oljestaden IF
Silexhera FC 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Koroatuz 0–0 Shamrock Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–3 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 17
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 KT Koroatuz
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Silexhera FC
AS Marcadia 1–1 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 4–1 KT Ferramendiak
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Bombarralense

Matchday 18
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 1–1 KT Moreazerua
Silexhera FC 1–0 AS Marcadia
KT Koroatuz 0–1 Oljestaden IF
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 1–2 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 19
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
AS Marcadia 0–0 KT Koroatuz
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Silexhera FC
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 1830 Cathair

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   14   10   1   3    23   11  +12    31
 2 AC Izotz Zubia                      14    7   5   2    26   12  +14    26
 3 Shamrock Cathair                    14    7   4   3    23   16   +7    25
 4 KT Moreazerua                       14    7   4   3    14    9   +5    25
 5 Osarese Marcadia                    14    7   4   3    17   13   +4    25
 6 KT Itzalovalle                      14    8   1   5    16   12   +4    25
 7 1830 Cathair                        14    7   2   5    26   14  +12    23
 8 Bombarralense                       14    7   1   6    17   17    0    22
 9 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi               14    5   2   7    14   21   −7    17
10 AS Marcadia                         14    3   7   4     7    9   −2    16
11 Oljestaden IF                       14    4   3   7    15   18   −3    15
12 KT Ferramendiak                     14    3   3   8    12   21   −9    12
13 KT Koroatuz                         14    3   3   8     6   20  −14    12
14 Silexhera FC                        14    3   2   9     5   16  −11    11
15 Tenth Star Hasiera                  14    2   2  10     7   19  −12     8

…maybe. It turns out that Osarese Marcadia remain above 1830 Cathair, who endure a winless run stretching back to their matchday fifteen hammering by city rivals Cazadores. Cazadores themselves are top by a whopping five points over Zozi, who lead a pack of teams with only four points separating them, down to eight place. KT Itzalovalle have won the second most games in the division, but lie sixth. 1830 Cathair have the second best goal difference, but are seventh.

At the bottom, there’s already a gap separating the bottom seven from the rest, with each team having only won a handful of games each. Tenth Star, pre-season favourites for the drop, are languishing on only eight points and would need another eight just to pull themselves out of the relegation playoff zone.

Silexhera FC
(University Stadium, Silica City)

1. Luca Zanardi (33, G , AUD)
2. Ysaak (23, D CR, DAI)
3. Theo Kergoat (28, D L, AUD)
4. Vilhelm Bacarde (35, DM C, YTT)
5. Lewis Vaughan (30, D C, LTN)
6. Kyle Maxfield (34, D RC, AUD)
7. William Blake (30, M C, LTN)
8. Baldo Gabbard (35, M C, YTT)
9. Robbie Latten (28, F C, AUD)
12. Ricardo Pace (30, D C, ETN)
13. Winfridh (35, G , DAI)
14. Estanche (36, M C, DAI)
15. Bernard Sterling (29, M C, AUD)
16. Tomas Guellec (29, AM RC, AUD)
17. Oren Galvis (27, M RC, AUD)
18. Ryan Shearer (27, D C, AUD)
19. Murray Pickard (28, F C, AUD)
20. John Bird (27, M/F C, AUD)
21. Jospeh Eldridge (28, M R, AUD)
23. Andrew McKinnon (24, M L, AUD)
Mng. Juan Juez (69, F C, AUD)

Colours: Green shirts, grey shorts, green socks

If you were feeling generous, you could put ‘World Cup Qualification’ onto Silexhera FC’s list of honours - the fans like to see the club as a continuation of that which qualified for World Cup 48. Though the shirts are the same and the club are basically an amalgalm of the ten teams that formed the old Silexheran top flight, it’s a bit of a stretch. Silexhera FC, the football club, have had little success in Audioslavian football but, nevertheless, often find themselves in or around the top division, and have been in the National League since season seven. Their best finish in the modern era is a modest eighth in season eight.

The squad is very hodge-podge, a collection of journeymen but Audioslavian and foreign. Luca Zanardi, in goal, has plenty of caps for Audioslavia, and the club have two decent full-backs in Ysaak and Theo Kergoat, but Ethane defender Ricardo Pace has the least apt name ever and fellow centre-back Kyle Maxfield is 34 and looks it. Yttribia’s Vilhelm Bacarde plays central midfield alongside countryman Balbo Gabbard, both veterans of Audioslavian football, while one-time prospect Oren Galvais and no-time prospect Tomas Guellec roam the wings. Up front, Robbie Latten ploughs a lonely furrow with Bernard Sterling doing his best as playmaker.

Matchday 20
AC Izotz Zubia 5–0 Silexhera FC
KT Moreazerua 0–0 KT Koroatuz
AS Marcadia 2–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Oljestaden IF 0–2 KT Itzalovalle
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Shamrock Cathair

THe Panthers can occasionally go toe-to-toe with some of the big teams. This wasn’t one of those occasions. Silexhera are simply over-run in midfield as Baume, Deschapelles and Knudsen run riot.

KT Moreazerua
(Ibarretako Estadioa, Moreazerua)

1. Pendergarst (35, G , DAI)
2. Boualem Ghannouchi (30, D RC, AUD)
3. Asztrik Puskás (26, D L, AUD)
4. Bennik Hreidarsson (33, DM C, SEM)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (20, D C, AUD)
6. Dieter Konoval (31, D C, NPH)
7. Kelvin Lisco (29, D/M R, SAR)
8. Marco van Ciavatinni (33, M/F CR, ESH)
10. Joan Nonhagatte (31, M C, FFD)
11. Rynyr-Pilta Jan (30, AM C, QUS)
12. Umbro (30, F C, DAI)
13. Deitr Konovaal (30, M C, MRN)
14. Ortzi Iarzagarai (27, M RC, AUD)
15. Nerman (32, M/F L, IRN)
16. Benin Gerrikabeitia (28, M R, AUD)
17. Asaj Sotelo (36, M RC, COS)
18. Circe (25, F C, DAI)
19. Trevor Paraoan (20, AM/F C, FHU)
mng. Jouard Caceres (58, D C, AUD)

Colours: Purple shirts with red trim, black shorts, purple socks

Audioslavian Champions: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

After spending so long as also-rans or second tier fodder during the LigAnaia era, Mozi’s acceleration from the blocks in the National League era came as a surprise. The side finished in the top three in each of the first four NL seasons, taking the title in season two and adding a cup win in season six.

Sarrbian midfieder Kelvin Lisco saw it all. Joining as a sprightly fourteen year-old and trained to specialise pretty much anywhere around the defence or midfield, Lisco watched on as Mozi were promoted into the old LigAnaia East and found their feet again in the top flight, and starred in the team’s golden generation that won the league over Zozi and Cathair. Lisco is in his fifteenth season of Audioslavian football, yet is still only 29 years of age. He’s played in the relegation dogfights in seasons six and seven, and helped his side qualify for the Globe Cup / Challengers’ Cup in each of the last three seasons.

Lisco typically plays as a right wing-back in Mozi’s system, with the defensive trio of Dieter Konoval (Nephara), Marwyn Asterisk and Boualem Ghannouchi inside of him, with Asztrik Puskás on the opposide flank. Talismanic Farf Joan Nonhagatte is the side’s midfield engine, with Rynyr-Pilta Jan of Qusmo and new signing Deitr Konovaal (Mriin. No relation to the aforementioned Nepharim) in support. Marco van Ciavatinni usually leads the line up front, often with Trevor Paraoan alongside, though Daineri strikers Circe and Umbro are often lethal from the bench.

In goal, Moreazerua have a Daineri. His name is Pendergarst.

Elsewhere, winger Nerman is capable of making an impact as a second half substitute, while Cosumarite midfielder Asaj Sotelo lends some much needed experience.

Matchday 21
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 3–2 AS Marcadia
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–3 KT Moreazerua
KT Koroatuz 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–4 Osarese Marcadia

Mozi have been solid thus far, and can’t help but trounce poor Tenth Star away from home. It’s Lisco who provides the first goal, whipping in a deep cross for Konovaal head in at the far post. Nonhagatte provides the second, dictating the play around the box and laying the ball off into space for Ciavatinni to shoot, and score, beyond Tenth-Star’s Arnold Slade. Circe adds the third late on, piling the misery on the home side.

AS Marcadia
(Stadio di Via Montegrappa, Marcadia)

1. Liam McAdams (36, G , AUD)
3. Amarzi George (23, D L, MRC)
4. Lance Bensom (22, D C, BRE)
5. Antonio Dragutin (23, D C, MRC)
6. Vega Lage (28, D/M RCL, AUD)
7. Simos Arvanitakis (19, AM RL, FHU)
8. Davide Lauri (25, M C, AUD)
9. Caceres (33, F C, DAI)
10. Menderchuk (30, F C, DAI)
11. Corey Aonen (30, F C, VLZ)
12. Giovanni Fanara (29, D C, AUD)
13. Theo Cosumar (20, D RL, AUD)
14. Minka Kranevitter (31, M R, NPH)
15. Adão Monserrate (32, D C, AUD)
16. Francesc Monzo (20, M LC, AUD)
17. Jarrod Di Virgilio (27, M/F RL, AUD)
18. Mattia Cicale (20, M C, AUD)
20. Salvatore Del Pozzo (34, AM LC, AUD)
21. Edoardo Del Conte (20, M C, AUD)
23. Fortune Cammers (19, G , EFL)
Mng. Mauro Bianchi (59, M CR, AUD)

Colours: Sky blue shirts with a black circle on the chest, white shorts, white socks

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

With Osarese Marcadia’s form so impetuous, the phrase ‘the other Marcadia’ has been used a few times this season to describe AS Marcadia, I Marchetti, or The Marked. Fans of AS are not happy about this at all. This is the side that has played in all but three of the National League seasons, with only season one (where they were busy being promoted after not having featured in the LigAnaia), and seasons six and seven (the side were expected to come back up straight after relegation, but missed the playoffs by an inch) as blots on their copy-book.

Marcadia’s best seasons remain the two occasions they finished in the final Globe Cup position in the earlier days of the National League, sixth in a league of ten, and have finished eighth, tenth and eighth in the current fifteen-team format over the last three seasons. The side have a huge following in their native region of Padia, perhaps more so than the likes of Artiglieria and Eletti Valliggiani, who have had higher ceilings but much, much lower floors, and definitely more than Osarese Marcadia who remain the team of the outsiders in the city of Marcadia. Nevertheless, AS have never *really* made a go of it in the league, and their cup win in season eight remains their only silverware.

The current side line up with teenage goalkeeper Fortune Cammers between the sticks, with the experienced Liam McAdams on standby, and have a decent centre-half pairing in the form of Lance Bensom of Brenecia and Mercedinian Antonio Dragutin, whose compatriot Amarzi George starts at left back. Either converted-centre half Adäo Monserrate or the versatile Vega Lage often step in at right-back, with Nepharim right midfielder Minka Kranevitter ahead. Fhulgamo Simon Arvanitakis plays on the left, with any two of local boys Davide Lauri, Jarrod Di Virgilio or Francesc Monzo in the centre.

Up front: Two Daineris. You know the deal.

Matchday 22
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 Bombarralense
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Cazadores Cathair

AS Marcadia’s home win over Shamrock Cathair is an upset, but couldn’t have come at a better time for Marcadia, who had dropped points at Tenth Star Hasiera and been mugged in the last minute away at Itzalovalle. Caceres is the hero, pouncing on an error early in the second half and netting the winner from Arvanitakis’s through-ball on seventy minutes, either side of Crewe’s leveller.

Shamrock are stunned and frustrated…

Matchday 23
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 AS Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Ferramendiak 2–2 Osarese Marcadia
Bombarralense 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

..and take out their frustrations on KT Moreazerua in mid-week, pushing themselves back towards the title fight and leapfrogging their opponents.

Meanwhile, Marcadia complete a week in which they annoy the hell out of the capital by shutting up shop and condemning the home crowd, and a few thousand watching at home, to the most boring 0-0 draw they’d ever seen.

KT Koroatuz
(Calle de los Toros, Koroatuz)

1. Yamaj-Zorno Mal (20, G , QUS)
2. Bardol Biain (29, D R, AUD)
4. Iaaki Sagues (29, DM C, AUD)
5. Gurutz Ezkarra (32, D C, AUD)
6. Oriol Feliu (28, D C, AUD)
7. Asentzio Arizmendez (28, M R, AUD)
8. Ximen Agirre (32, AM C, AUD)
9. Ilari Oiharzabal (28, F C, AUD)
10. Val Pavon (28, F C, AUD)
11. Venâncio Paiva (31, F C, AUD)
12. Narcís Riva (28, F C, AUD)
15. Christian Cafasso (23, M C, AUD)
19. Xarles Urra (24, AM L, AUD)
20. Elazar Lutegui (28, AM RC, AUD)
23. Xavier Irrigarai (20, M C, AUD)
25. Ximon Gastelu (19, M C, AUD)
28. Zorion Loinaz (22, F C, AUD)
29. Balderdasch Van Der Schnaffletart (19, D/M C, AUD)
Mng. Robert Smith (45, D C, AUD)

Series B Champions Cup: 1

Rounding off this do-the-intro-while-you-do-the-first-half-of-the-season-why-hadn’t-I-thought-of-that-before-thing is KT Koroatuz. For Kozi, see more-or-less local rivals Feri. The two always seem to be joined at the hip. Good performance in season one and qualification for the globe cup? Check. Koroatuz 5th, Ferramendiak 6th. Utter garbage relegation in season two? Check. Kozi 9th, Feri 10th. Somehow getting relegated out of the second tier only a few years after playing in the Globe Cup? Check. Ferramendiak were dreadful in seasons six and seven, getting relegated and finishing a god-awful fifth in the third tier. Kozi got relegated to the third tier in season seven and had to play in the newly formed R41.
Promoted from the second tier last season? Check. Kozi first, Feri second.

Matchday 24
National League
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–2 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 25
Oljestaden IF 2–1 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Silexhera FC 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 4–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Ferramendiak 1–2 Bombarralense

National League                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   19   12   3   4    28   14  +14    39
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      18   11   2   5    23   15   +8    35
 3 Shamrock Cathair                    19   10   4   5    31   22   +9    34
 4 Osarese Marcadia                    19    9   5   5    24   20   +4    32
 5 AC Izotz Zubia                      20    8   7   5    33   17  +16    31
 6 KT Moreazerua                       20    8   6   6    21   17   +4    30
 7 1830 Cathair                        16    9   2   5    32   14  +18    29
 8 Bombarralense                       17    9   2   6    21   18   +3    29
 9 Oljestaden IF                       19    7   3   9    20   24   −4    24
10 AS Marcadia                         19    4   9   6    14   17   −3    21
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi               18    5   3  10    15   30  −15    18
12 KT Ferramendiak                     17    4   4   9    16   25   −9    16
13 KT Koroatuz                         16    3   5   8     6   20  −14    14
14 Tenth Star Hasiera                  17    3   3  11    10   24  −14    12
15 Silexhera FC                        16    3   2  11     5   22  −17    11

Kozi and Feri are similarly joined at the hip this season, too, languishing in twelfth and thirteenth and with a fight on their hands to stay ahead of a doomed Tenth Star and a struggling Silexhera, with neither Sicurezza nor AS Marcadia all that assured of safety either.

At the top of the league, Cazadores’s lead has closed a little, with Itzi almost within striking distance, while Shamrock are avoiding total disaster and Osarese are just happy to be there. Heavyweights Zozi and Cathair dwarf the rest of the league in terms of goal-difference, but can’t turn quantity into quality in terms of wins, each manager at least four places behind the lowest position they could finish in without getting fired. Between them, Moreazerua remain solid and, in eighth, Bombarralense are very much part of the pack.

Oljestaden IF are in this kind of no-mans-land limbo wherein they’re nowhere near the top teams but also not really in trouble from any of the clubs below them. They are a mid-table team in a system that, for 25 years, has tried its damnedest to make the idea of a mid-table team utterly impossible. They are Oljestaden IF. They defy logic by being as normal as possible where there is no room to be so, and all the while fielding a Chocoabo up front, being lead by a manager from a country that doesn’t exist, and being hundreds of miles away from any other football club. That is who Oljestaden are.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed May 20, 2020 10:48 am

Part Two

Matchday 26

National League
Bombarralense 0–0 1830 Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Silexhera FC
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 KT Koroatuz
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Moreazerua 0–2 AS Marcadia

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   19   12   3   4    28   14  +14    39
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      18   11   2   5    23   15   +8    35
 3 Osarese Marcadia                    20   10   5   5    25   20   +5    35
 4 AC Izotz Zubia                      21    9   7   5    35   17  +18    34
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    19   10   4   5    31   22   +9    34
 6 1830 Cathair                        17    9   3   5    32   14  +18    30
 7 Bombarralense                       18    9   3   6    21   18   +3    30
 8 KT Moreazerua                       21    8   6   7    21   19   +2    30

Cazadores are playing the waiting game. They will stay on 39 points and 19 games played for the next four matchdays as their challengers try to close the gap.

Zozi, eight points back and having played more games, do what they must and overcome Olga. Kyran Knudsen has done his best to fill the gap left by Laborious Hawk, without quite managing it yet, and its his hard work that sees the side overcome a stubborn Oljestaden, creating the first for Valrauncion and burying the second with a second-half volley from just outside the area.

In Saturday’s evening kickoff, 1830 Cathair waste the opportunity to close the gap themselves, held away to Bombarralense, who they remain locked on 30 points with. Osarese Marcadia have no such problems as they defeat KT Koroatuz via Gavin Mitchell’s scrambled second-half goal, and OM remain on course for an unlikely tilt at the title.

Matchday 27
National League
AS Marcadia 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 Osarese Marcadia
KT Koroatuz 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Silexhera FC 1–0 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 2–0 KT Ferramendiak

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   19   12   3   4    28   14  +14    39
 2 Osarese Marcadia                    21   11   5   5    27   20   +7    38
 3 AC Izotz Zubia                      22   10   7   5    37   17  +20    37
 4 KT Itzalovalle                      18   11   2   5    23   15   +8    35
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    19   10   4   5    31   22   +9    34
 6 1830 Cathair                        18   10   3   5    34   14  +20    33
 7 KT Moreazerua                       21    8   6   7    21   19   +2    30
 8 Bombarralense                       19    9   3   7    21   19   +2    30

Fans of each Cathair club are restless. Both Shamrock and Cazadores are sat, watching their rivals play, while 1830 Cathair’s supporters are aghast at their side’s inability to even threaten the top three. It takes the Elders 81 minutes to break down a game Ferramendiak, with Thorsten Kramer the only man on the scoresheet. Cathair have become increasingly reliant on their number 10, who is only now starting to gel with new recruit Liam Armstrong in midfield.

Bombarralense are the only team in the top eight to drop points, losing meekly away to Silexhera, as Zozi and Osarese both take wins to move into the top three. For Zozi, once again, their title race seems to be over with weeks still to go. They’re only two points behind, sure, but whereas Zozi only have six games to go until the end of the season (plus fighting on the Challengers’ Cup front too), Cazadores have nine.

In fourth, few people are talking about KT Itzalovalle, but Itzi are four points off the top with a game in hand and have proven very difficult to break down…

Matchday 28
National League
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Silexhera FC
Bombarralense 1–0 KT Koroatuz
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 KT Moreazerua

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    22   12   5   5    28   20   +8    41
 2 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   19   12   3   4    28   14  +14    39
 4 KT Itzalovalle                      19   11   2   6    23   16   +7    35
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    19   10   4   5    31   22   +9    34
 6 1830 Cathair                        18   10   3   5    34   14  +20    33
 7 Bombarralense                       20   10   3   7    22   19   +3    33
 8 KT Moreazerua                       22    8   6   8    21   21    0    30

…yet they are broken down by Osarese Marcadia, who have more of the ball and one more of the goals at the Fabio Mancini stadium, with manager Fabio Mancini (yes, the same one) pumping his fist in delight as Osarese Marcadia go top of the league. May we remind you that this team was newly promoted, and had never played in the top flight before this season.

Zozi keep up the pressure with a derby win over Moreazerua, with Tigran Deschapelles the key man, creating the first for Knudsen and the second for Vesuvia Carrick.

1830 Cathair aren’t in action, with their fans staring holes in the league table. They’ve played fewer games than anyone in the top eight, they know they need more than just their games in hand to be competitive at the season’s end, and they can’t wait to just get their heads down and start winning aga…

Matchday 29
National League
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 4–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 Bombarralense
KT Koroatuz 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
Silexhera FC 1–0 1830 Cathair

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    23   12   5   6    29   23   +6    41
 2 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   19   12   3   4    28   14  +14    39
 4 KT Itzalovalle                      20   12   2   6    27   17  +10    38
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    20   11   4   5    34   23  +11    37
 6 Bombarralense                       21   11   3   7    24   19   +5    36
 7 1830 Cathair                        19   10   3   6    34   15  +19    33
 8 KT Moreazerua                       22    8   6   8    21   21    0    30

..oh no Cathair. Lee Sharp spits in disgust as Silexhera’s 87th minute penalty squirms under the body of Tucunduvá. 1830 Cathair kick off the weekend’s fixtures with a Saturday lunchtime loss to lowly Silexhera. The away section at the University Stadium is bitter.

The only ray of light in Cathair’s weekend is their city rivals’ win over Osarese Marcadia to ensure the top of the table doesn’t race away from any of the Catharan teams. Cathair know they can overhaul Shamrock and the top two by winning their games in hand, but getting ahead of Caza or Itzi will require a slip-up.

Speaking of Itzalovalle, their 4-1 demolition of CSE is masterminded by the young Moses Moxey, whose form has been nothing short of a revelation. His sixty-seventh minute flying volley puts the game beyond doubt and has the home support singing his name. Two goals for him and a brace from Wilhelm Nkitilina secure the points, and all of a sudden Itzi are three points from the top with three games in hand.

Next week, though, will see Cazadores Cathair return to the field.

Matchday 30
National League
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
1830 Cathair 1–0 KT Koroatuz
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Bombarralense 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 Shamrock Cathair


   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    24   13   5   6    30   23   +7    44
 2 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 3 Shamrock Cathair                    21   12   4   5    35   23  +12    40
 4 Cazadores Cathair                   20   12   3   5    28   15  +13    39
 5 KT Itzalovalle                      21   12   3   6    28   18  +10    39
 6 Bombarralense                       22   11   4   7    25   20   +5    37
 7 1830 Cathair                        20   11   3   6    35   15  +20    36
 8 KT Moreazerua                       22    8   6   8    21   21    0    30

It’s not technically a top-of-the-table clash that Cazadores have just lost, but that’s academic. Cazadores’s what-if-they-win-all-their-games-in-hand conditional points gap just went from ten to seven compared to their vanquishers.

In Marcadia, the minority of Osarese fans are starting to believe. Their problem is that they only have four games left to play, whereas Cazadores and Cathair both have twice that. Both will overhaul the Padians with a string of victories, but until that happens, Osarese Marcadia are top of the league.
 Itzalovalle, so mercurial the previous week, can’t do the business against Bombarralense, who remain ahead of Cathair, themselves victorious over Koroatuz - Thorsten Kramer again the scorer. Bombarralense were expected to drift down the table this season, but here they are. Nobody is realistically looking at them as title challengers, but here they are. Overlook them at your peril.

Matchday 31
National League
Oljestaden IF 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Shamrock Cathair 0–2 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–6 1830 Cathair
KT Koroatuz 1–0 Silexhera FC

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    25   14   5   6    31   23   +8    47
 2 Cazadores Cathair                   21   13   3   5    29   15  +14    42
 3 KT Itzalovalle                      22   13   3   6    30   19  +11    42
 4 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    22   12   4   6    35   25  +10    40
 6 Bombarralense                       23   12   4   7    27   20   +7    40
 7 1830 Cathair                        21   12   3   6    41   15  +26    39
 8 KT Moreazerua                       22    8   6   8    21   21    0    30

I said ‘overlook them at your peril’, Shamrock. Rohan Cammers’s men are soundly defeated at home, with defender Ambrosia Chance and striker Leon Davis on target for the visitors. The gap between Shamrock and the top expands by three points as Osarese Marcadia win a-bloody-gain, Caprice Martinelli on target in the first half to overcome Oljestaden and maintain their fight to the end. Just three games to go for the Padians now.

After chuckling at Shamrock’s demise, Cazadores and 1830 Cathair both win, the latter by six goals to nil over doomed Tenth Star, the goals coming from Marañon, Kramer, Puristina Shinra, Steve Ericsson and Liam Armstrong, with James McWhorter netting a miserable own-goal.

The biggest game of the weekend is over in Ferrmendiak as KT Itzalovalle host city rivals KT Ferramendiak in a game of equal importance at both ends of the table. Feri strike first in an open first half through Ixaka Linda, but Moxey’s equaliser just before half-time sets up a second half where Itzalovalle dominate, and Gabriel Oteiza’s winner comes on 64 minutes. Itzi are not out of this yet, and their biggest test comes next week with a trip to the Arena Kirola.

Matchday 32
National League
1830 Cathair 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
Silexhera FC 0–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 AS Marcadia

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    26   14   6   6    31   23   +8    48
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      23   14   3   6    32   20  +12    45
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   22   13   4   5    30   16  +14    43
 4 Shamrock Cathair                    23   12   5   6    36   26  +10    41
 5 Bombarralense                       24   12   5   7    28   21   +7    41
 6 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 7 1830 Cathair                        22   12   3   7    42   17  +25    39
 8 KT Moreazerua                       22    8   6   8    21   21    0    30

Thorsten Kramer vs Moses Moxey is the battle everyone’s watching on Saturday lunchtime, and though Kramer scores the opening goal, it’s Moxey’s… moxie that wins out, forcing the opportunities that allow Itzi to score two second half goals and stun the reigning champions, with Oteiza and Zakuty on target for Itzalovalle.

At the top, Osarese Marcadia’s bid to make it three wins from their last three is scuppered as their neighbours crash the party. AS vs Osarese is a tense and often brutal affair that ends goal-less, despite the passion shown by Mancini on Osarese’s touchline and despite AS finishing the game with nine men after the dismissals of Vega Lage and Amarzi George. Nevertheless, Osarese remain top. They have two games left to play. Itzalovalle, three points back, have five. Cazadores could have split the top two, but are held by perennial spoilers Bombarralense. As we’ve said, Bombarralense aren’t realistic title contenders, but they keep just not losing in this final stretch, and here they are, ahead of Zozi and Cathair with four games left to play.

Speaking of Zozi and Cathair… they’re sixth and seventh. Zozi can’t even say they’ve played fewer games than most of the teams above them. It’s an awful season for the multiple-time LigAnaia and National League champions.

Matchday 33
National League
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Osarese Marcadia
AS Marcadia 1–3 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Oljestaden IF 0–1 Bombarralense
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Itzalovalle 4–1 Silexhera FC
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 1830 Cathair

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Osarese Marcadia                    27   15   6   6    33   24   +9    51
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      24   15   3   6    36   21  +15    48
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   23   14   4   5    32   16  +16    46
 4 Bombarralense                       25   13   5   7    29   21   +8    44
 5 1830 Cathair                        23   13   3   7    43   17  +26    42
 6 Shamrock Cathair                    24   12   5   7    36   27   +9    41
 7 AC Izotz Zubia                      23   11   7   5    39   17  +22    40
 8 KT Moreazerua                       23    8   6   9    22   23   −1    30

Osarese Marcadia are having a proper go. Garnett Makanza’s brace either side of Lisco’s fortieth-minute finish is enough for yet another victory. It puts the side six points clear before Itzalovalle’s comprehensive victory over Silexhera.

As the dust settles on the weekend, it’s these two plus Cazadores, victorious over Feri through Vidal and Pridgeon, who are in the driving seat for the league title.

The biggest match of the weekend, though, is the first of two consecutive Cathair Derbies for reigning champions 1830 Cathair. They travel west to the Glass Bridge Stadium where Rohan Cammers’s Shammers are waiting. It’s violent from the off, as Alexander Crewe is sent from the field for throwing Leona Rafford’s shoe at his own team-mate Les Jawallahwalla. The young Apoxian had fetched Rafford’s boot after the full-back had lost it making a challenge and had made to give it to Rafford, cueing an incensed Crewe to berate him for not throwing it into the stand and, eventually, lobbing it at the defender’s chest.

Shamrock spend 83 minutes defending like their lives depended on it, and one minute defending like the life of a Krytenian war-criminal depended on it. Thorsten Kramer chose the latter as the best opportunity to break down the middle, play a one-two with a now-double-booted Rafford and smash the ball home for the only goal of the game.

Cathair leapfrog Shamrock in the league, but both are off the pace with time running out.

Matchday 34
National League
KT Koroatuz 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Silexhera FC 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 2–2 Oljestaden IF
Bombarralense 1–0 AS Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–2 KT Moreazerua
Osarese Marcadia 2–3 AC Izotz Zubia

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle                      25   16   3   6    37   21  +16    51
 2 Osarese Marcadia                    28   15   6   7    35   27   +8    51
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   24   14   5   5    34   18  +16    47
 4 Bombarralense                       26   14   5   7    30   21   +9    47
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    25   13   5   7    38   27  +11    44
 6 1830 Cathair                        24   13   4   7    45   19  +26    43
 7 AC Izotz Zubia                      24   12   7   5    42   19  +23    43
 8 KT Moreazerua                       24    9   6   9    24   23   +1    33

1830 Cathair can’t quite do the capital double, as Cazadores twice come from behind to share the points at Arena Kirola. Marañon and Lomax for Cathair, a Francis Sutherland brace for Cazadores. A decent result for the visitors, but the fact is that they have dropped points and dropped points since their four-game hiatus, and lie four points behind top spot with only the one game in hand. Have they blown it? Itzalovalle certainly hope so as they go top through Metan Cordean’s first-half header.

Osarese Marcadia’s season has ended, and it ends with a hard-fought defeat to AC Izotz Zubia that nevertheless has the home fans applauding them from the field. 51 points from a 16-3-6 record is an excellent return for the team’s first season in top flight football and, amazingly, they’re technically not out of the title race despite being second with zero matches still to go. Should Itzi somehow lose their remaining games, they might even win the league on goal difference…

…yeah. Big ask. Still. It’s party time in some parts of Marcadia. Not so much in others, as AS Marcadia lose to Bombarralense, who jump into fourth place.[/pre]

Matchday 35
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Moreazerua 3–0 Bombarralense
AS Marcadia 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Oljestaden IF 0–2 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Silexhera FC
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 KT Koroatuz
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle                      26   17   3   6    38   21  +17    54
 2 Osarese Marcadia                    28   15   6   7    35   27   +8    51
 3 Cazadores Cathair                   25   15   5   5    37   18  +19    50
 4 Shamrock Cathair                    26   14   5   7    39   27  +12    47
 5 Bombarralense                       27   14   5   8    30   24   +6    47
 6 1830 Cathair                        25   14   4   7    47   19  +28    46
 7 AC Izotz Zubia                      25   13   7   5    44   20  +24    46
 8 KT Moreazerua                       25   10   6   9    27   23   +4    36

Wins for Cathair, Zozi, Itzalovalle and Shamrock keep the title race chugging along, but sadly end Osarese’s dim chance of a league title. Bombarralense are finally defeated, and comfortably, by a Moreazerua side who have long since lost pace with the top seven.

At this late stage of the season, any dropped points could completely destroy any teams’ title chances…

Matchday 36
National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Koroatuz 2–8 Cazadores Cathair
Silexhera FC 0–1 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 1–1 AS Marcadia
KT Ferramendiak 3–1 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 0–4 AC Izotz Zubia

   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle                      26   17   3   6    38   21  +17    54
 2 Cazadores Cathair                   26   16   5   5    45   20  +25    53
 3 Osarese Marcadia                    28   15   6   7    35   27   +8    51
 4 AC Izotz Zubia                      26   14   7   5    48   20  +28    49
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    27   14   6   7    40   28  +12    48
 6 1830 Cathair                        26   14   5   7    48   20  +28    47
 7 Bombarralense                       28   14   5   9    30   28   +2    47
 8 KT Moreazerua                       26   10   6  10    28   26   +2    36

Bedlam.

First, Shamrock Cathair’s title chances end with a dreadful draw away to already-relegated Tenth Star Hasiera. Later that evening, 1830 Cathair are on their way to victory over AS Marcadia when Daineri striker Caceres smashes a 40-yard shot in off the crossbar from nowhere and like *that*, 1830 Cathair’s defence of their title is over. Two games to go, seven points away from top. Itzalovalle are top of the league (Itzalovalle are top of the league) despite not playing on matchday thirty-six. Cazadores Cathair do what they can to keep the pace, and ‘what they can’ turns out to be thrashing Koroatuz by eight goals to two. Sutherland nets four, Christian Armani gets two, Jirijii Januaa pops up with one, as does Iago Cacho. It’s a total demolition.

Bombarralense end a season where they looked like title contenders for maybe five minutes by losing four-nil at home to Izotz Zubia and confine themselves to seventh place, likely outside the Challengers’ Cup places. Two matchdays to go.

Matchday 37
National League
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 0–1 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 3–1 Silexhera FC
Oljestaden IF 3–2 KT Koroatuz
AC Izotz Zubia 4–0 KT Ferramendiak
Cazadores Cathair 6–1 Tenth Star Hasiera


   National League                    Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   27   17   5   5    51   21  +30    56
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      27   17   3   7    38   23  +15    54
 3 AC Izotz Zubia                      27   15   7   5    52   20  +32    52
 4 Shamrock Cathair                    28   15   6   7    42   28  +14    51
 5 Osarese Marcadia                    28   15   6   7    35   27   +8    51
 6 1830 Cathair                        27   15   5   7    49   20  +29    50
 7 Bombarralense                       28   14   5   9    30   28   +2    47
 8 KT Moreazerua                       27   10   6  11    28   27   +1    36

KT Itzalovalle have never been here before, and it shows. Shamrock Cathair know exactly how they feel, yet don’t seem too empathetic as they over-run a stiff Itzalovalle to run out 2-0 winners, with Vocani and Crewe on the scoresheet.

Itzalovalle’s fans are sick with worry as they have to wait all weekend, until Monday night, for Cazadores to play. They watch local rivals lose 1-0 to an 1830 Cathair side desperately trying to claw their way into the top three for that final Champions League spot. They sit through Zozi’s demolition of Ferramendiak as Knudsen and the gang cling to their final hopes of another league championship, and they watch forlornly on Monday night as Cazadores Cathair smash six goals past a hapless Tenth Star.

Shamrock and Osarese Marcadia’s seasons are ended, so a single point for 1830 Cathair in their final game will put the champions above them in the league.

On the final matchday of the season, all eyes will be on two games.

In the capital, the Derby of Audoislavia: 1830 Cathair versus AC Izotz Zubia. The winner will go third and into the final Champions League spot. For both sides, the idea of *not* qualifying for the multiverse’s premier club football competition doesn’t even bear thinking about.

At the top of the table, a match with even higher stakes. On the final matchday of the season: KT Itzalovalle versus Cazadores Cathair. The National League comes down to the wire once more.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu May 21, 2020 8:45 am

Part Three

Last Sunday of the Season
16:00 - The Antzerkia is awash with a sea of red as KT Itzalovalle kick off against Cazadores Cathair. In the history of Itzalovalle, this has to be the biggest game. An Audioslavian Cup final more than twenty seasons ago is the only game that comes close. Their opponents that day were city rivals Ferramendiak, back then known as CF rather than KT. That match had finished 0-0 at full-time, with Itzalovalle winning out in extra time.

Such a result today would not be good enough for Itzi. Two points behind Caza, nothing short of a win would do. Lose or draw, and regional rivals AC Izotz Zubia can overtake them into second place with victory over 1830 Cathair.

That match, the Derby of Audioslavia, is being held at the Arena Kirola in Cathair. Neither team can win the league, but it’s that final Champions League spot that’s up for grabs. Missing out on domestic football’s premier tournament is simply not an option for either manager.

16:10
At the bottom of the league there is nothing to play for. Tenth Star Hasiera will be relegated regardless of the result in their match with Oljestaden IF, who have been in mid-table obscurity for ~~their entire history~~ most of the season. A victory will at least propel Tenth Star to 14th. The other relegation spot.

Tenth Star draw first blood, and give their home fans something to jump around about, as Ignatius Jones chests the ball down on the edge of the area and drags a shot into the bottom corner for one-nil.

16:15
Fingernails have been gnawed down to the bone already in Ferramendiak, where Itzi and Caza remain deadlocked at 0-0. Astograthian manager Ager Alaba stands stock still and watches. I don’t think he’s blinked yet. Wilhelm Nkitilina struggles his way past Inteali Koranjo and gets a shot away, but it flashes across the face of the goal. The Antzerkia may ‘only’ contain 48,000 people, but the encoruaging roar is deafening

16:20
Also at the bottom of the table, KT Koroatuz are battling AS Marcadia. The Marchetti have been mathematically safe from the relegations playoffs for a while. Koroatuz have stayed there all season. A win for Kozi would put them above Ferramendiak and into 12th place. Still in the relegation playoffs, but with the added bonus of being able to play all their games at home, rather than only two of the three. A mid-capacity home crowed shouts their approval as Zorion Loinaz rolls the ball home for 1-0. Ferramendiak’s season has already ended, so if it stays like this, Kozi will have that slight advantage over their Herraduran rivals in the playoffs.

16:24
Hearts-in-mouths time for Itzalovalle fans. Cazadores break. Olimpia Vidal dives in at the back post to stretch a boot onto the end of Sutherland’s cross but Vianca sprawls well and makes an outstanding save with an outstretched elbow that deflects the ball out into the eighteen yard box. Creidne Lindauer smells blood, but Arial Skidoomacher is there to clear. Caza can counter quickly, but the game is win-at-all-costs for Itzi. There will be no respite for either set of fans.

16:32
The afternoon’s other fixture is KT Moreazerua, who are mid-table and going nowhere, versus Silexhera, who have a one-way ticket to Division 2 already. Moreazerua score their first through Nonhagatte. Nobody is watching this game. Noe even the fans in attendance, most of which have their smartphones out.

16:38
Drama in the capital as Kyran Knudsen goes down in the box under Niko Szubanski’s challenge. The Brenecian boots the ball clear and stands over the stricken Knudsen, shouting obscenities at him. Knudsen kicks out at his assailant, who spits in disgust at the retaliation. The spit lands near Kyran Knudsen, who disgustingly grabs at it to show the referee, who can’t see it on account of the fact that the entire AC Izotz Zubia first team, subs bench and coaching staff are surrounding him.

Eager to ensure that they, too, have their say, the Cathair players start jostling for prime referee-baiting position with their opposition. In the resulting melee, someone steps on Leona Rafford’s shoe, causing it to fall off. An annoying thing to happen, sure, but Leona Rafford seems particularly annoyed about this.

There is pushing and shoving, and eventually the referee restores order. Kyran Knudsen is booked for diving. The 1830 Cathair players demand a red card for the resulting kick out at Szubanski, but the referee… wait a minute…

16:39
GOAL. Big goal. Huge goal. Moses Moxey scores for Itzalovalle. The rangy Audioslavian midfielder collects a loose ball, turns inside Jerquaad and curls the ball into the opposite corner, with Hardcheese nowhere. A deafening roar from the crowd. If things stay the same, Itzalovalle will win their first league championship.

16:42
Drama in Cathair once more. Jack Menard rises at the back post to power a header goalwards. Leonardo Ceron clears it from the line, but did the ball strike the defender’s arm? The referee wants none of it. Pristina Shine gallops over and waves their hooves at the referee, who does not understand what that means.

17:00
The second halves kick off up and down the country. Itzi still on course for a first league championship. The crowd are noisy, still but they’re not making any type of identifiable noise. It’s not ‘yeeeaahh’ or ‘boooo’ or even whistles and drums, it’s just a long, loud, collective ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

17:05
Moreazerua go two goals up at Silexhera. Deitr Konovaal is the scorer. Literally nobody cares.

17:11
Whatever thunder Tenth Star Hasiera had is quelled as Cocoabo #91 squawks into the box and blooters the ball past Slade for 1-1.

17:14
Cazadores are probing. Francis Sutherland plays the ball in for Olimpia Vidal to shoot straight into the goalkeeper’s chest. Itzalovalle’s crowd respond with a loud AAA.

17:16
A corner for Cazadores. Inteali Koranjo loops a header onto the top of the bar.

17:17
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

17:21
In further news nobody cares about, Robbie Latten has scored for Silexhera. They are still losing and definitely relegated, but not as losingy as before.

17:22
Itzalovalle counter after having soaked up the pressure. Wilhelm Nkitilina receives the ball in the box, drags it out from under his feet and pokes it past Hardcheese, who can only watch in horror as it rebounds off the foot of the post and out towards the corner flag. Gabirel Oteiza wins a skirmish for the ball against Aurelio Saez and crosses, but August Thompson can’t control it in time before Januaa arrives, dispossesses him and clears.

17:25
Koroatuz score. Nobody cares.

17:27
Koroatuz score again. Nobody cares even harder.

17:31
Fifteen minutes to go and we have a breakthrough in the capital. Leona Rafford is so far forward that she probably has a nosebleed as she arrives at the back post to smash a right-footed volley past Gentle Breeze for 1-0. Cathair rise above Zozi in the league and into that final Champions League place.

In celebration, Rafford removes her right boot and waves it at the home fans, who cheer loudly.

17:35
Over in Ferramendiak, the KT Itzalovalle fans have progressed beyond AAA and are now mainly shouting GAAAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAA and sometimes GRNNNNNNNNNNG. Aranha comes on for Cazadores and immediately blasts a good opportunity high and wide.

17:38
Zozi come forward. Knudsen breaks into the box and lashes a shot into the side netting. The Zozi fans jump and shout, tricked by the angle into thinking they’d scored. The home fans lay on the sarcasm as they celebrate the ‘goal’ themselves.

17:40
Five minutes left in Ferramendiak. All instances of GAA, WAA, GRNG and AAA have evolved into constant, frantic, panicked whistling. Itzalovalle have retreated to their own area. They haven’t managed to pass the ball short for about five minutes now. Everything they do is a long ball to Wilhelm Nkitilina, now a lone striker chasing shadows up front.

17:42
Randell Arrizabalaga clears a header from the line. Itzalovalle survive.

17:43
Moses Moxey sprints forward with the ball, acknowledging that the past fourteen attempts to find Nkitilina have failed. He sprints towards the corner flag but is wrestled off the ball by Koranjo. The referee blows the whistle, signalling a free-kick to Itzalovalle deep in Cazadore territory. The fans celebrate like they’ve scored a goal.

17:44
Itzi keep the ball in the corner. Moxey plays keep-away from the Cazadore defenders, but a short pass to Cordean is an error. Cordean is offside. Itzalovalle retreat.

17:45
The Itzalovalle fans treat the assistant referee’s declaration of three minutes of injury time with a loud GAAAWAAABAALALALAAAAAAANNNGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHAAAA

17:46
It’s a corner for Cazadores Cathair. Up comes the goalkeeper. It’s do or die now for Cazadores. An equalising goal would give them a second league title. Failure to score would condemn them to second place. The cross comes in from Saez. Moxey heads it away. Christian Armani collects it on the edge of the box and plays it wide to Jerquaad. Hardcheese sprints back to the half-way line. Jerquaad’s first cross is blocked by Anxo Osorio, but a second attempt swings in towards the box. Langager is there to head the ball up high into the air. Arial Skidoomacher towers above the pack to head the ball out to the edge of the area…

17:47
…where Inteali Koranjo is waiting underneath the ball. The Vilitan controls the ball with their right thigh, sending it to the player’s left in a movement that wrong-foots Xabat Legarza. Right on the bounce, the defender swings a left boot and connects with the ball, which powers towards goal from the right-most corner of the ‘D’ of the penalty box. Vianca sprawls to their left and flails an arm in the general direction of the ball, but can only deflect it high into the roof of the net.

Silence. But for a small pocket of 2,000 Cazadores fans going mental in one corner.

Cazadores Cathair manager Rook Cathar punches the air and loudly, confidently states the following:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The full-time whistle blows in Cathair with 1830 defeating, and leapfrogging, their cross-country rivals and beating them to that final Champions League spot.

There is, however, a secondary path for Zozi to the multiverse’s premier club competition. Their Challengers Cup run culminates in Zozi reaching the final, where they play Shamrock Cathair. On a warm night in Estadio Zachary Fortin, Valladares, Tigran Deschapelles opens the scoring and Alexander Crewe equalizes through a penalty before, in the seventy-fifth minute, full-back Larry Martinez’s wayward cross loops over Bombidillyo and into the net for the winning goal. AC Izotz Zubia win their, and Audioslavia’s first ever Challengers’ Cup and duly qualify for next season’s Champions League. The National League will send four clubs to the competition for the first time since season seven.

Matchday 38
National League
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 Oljestaden IF
KT Koroatuz 3–0 AS Marcadia
Silexhera FC 1–2 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia

National League                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair                   28   17   6   5    52   22  +30    57 CHAMPIONS 
 2 KT Itzalovalle                      28   17   4   7    39   24  +15    55 CL
 3 1830 Cathair                        28   16   5   7    50   20  +30    53 CL
 4 AC Izotz Zubia                      28   15   7   6    52   21  +31    52 CL
 5 Shamrock Cathair                    28   15   6   7    42   28  +14    51 ChC
 6 Osarese Marcadia                    28   15   6   7    35   27   +8    51 ChC
 7 Bombarralense                       28   14   5   9    30   28   +2    47
 8 KT Moreazerua                       28   11   6  11    30   28   +2    39
 9 Oljestaden IF                       28    9   6  13    28   36   −8    33
10 AS Marcadia                         28    7  11  10    23   29   −6    32
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi               28    8   5  15    23   42  −19    29
12 KT Koroatuz                         28    7   6  15    16   36  −20    27 PLAYOFF
13 KT Ferramendiak                     28    6   7  15    25   42  −17    25 PLAYOFF 
14 Silexhera FC                        28    5   3  20    10   40  −30    18 RELEGATED
15 Tenth Star Hasiera                  28    4   5  19    14   46  −32    17 RELEGATED

   National Two                       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC               38   21  10   7    56   30  +26    73 PROMOTED
 2 KT Laranjauzia                      38   20   8  10    54   33  +21    68 PROMOTED
 3 Sobrevolante                        38   17  11  10    49   38  +11    62 PLAYOFF 
 4 Sporting Clube Marinheiros          38   15  14   9    42   33   +9    59 PLAYOFF
 5 CdF Celtade                         38   16  10  12    40   35   +5    58
 6 C.D. Portobranco                    38   16   9  13    44   43   +1    57
 7 Excelsior Zijweg                    38   15   8  15    47   45   +2    53
 8 Eletti Valligiani                   38   15   8  15    47   45   +2    53
 9 The Oran                            38   13  13  12    47   42   +5    52
10 Tout-Puissant Hasiera               38   15   7  16    39   39    0    52
11 Burdoc Ridge                        38   14   7  17    37   42   −5    49
12 Santa Margarida                     38   13  10  15    30   37   −7    49
13 Corações                            38   13   9  16    44   48   −4    48
14 Laranjeiras                         38   13   8  17    43   40   +3    47
15 Hibernação                          38   13   8  17    45   48   −3    47
16 Crossport Dynamo                    38   14   5  19    37   52  −15    47
17 Artiglieria                         38   13   7  18    32   42  −10    46 RELEGATED
18 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías      38   11  13  14    39   51  −12    46 RELEGATED 
19 CF Herradores                       38   12   8  18    36   43   −7    44 RELEGATED
20 Huiszwalluw FC                      38   11   7  20    34   56  −22    40 RELEGATED

Back in season seven, the four Audioslavian clubs in the old Champions’ Cup were Caza, 1830, Zozi and Artiglieria. Three of those clubs will be entering the Champions League this season. Artiglieria will, emphatically, not. The side finish seventeenth in a tightly contested second flight and are relegated to the third tier a year after dropping from the first.

At the top, Isle of Kjeligsted rejoin the top flight for the first time since the National League’s expansion season, and will be joined by KT Laranjauzia, coming up after two seasons in the second tier.

Sobrevolante, a famous old club who had their hey-dey long before Audioslavian clubs turned professional, enter the the playoffs alongside Lusitaninhans SC Marinheiros and the duo of Ferramendiak and Koroatuz.

R41                             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Alistoun Academicals          40   22  13   5    53   25  +28    79 PROMOTED
 2 Necromarinai                  40   22  12   6    45   24  +21    78 PROMOTED 
 3 CdFS Ilheiros                 40   22  10   8    54   28  +26    76 PROMOTED
 4 2130 Calolziolungho           40   23   7  10    57   41  +16    76 PROMOTED
 5 United Cathair FC             40   22   9   9    53   32  +21    75
 6 Ceilerden Rovers              40   21  11   8    38   16  +22    74
 7 Iron Brewery                  40   22   7  11    49   25  +24    73
 8 DDM Dunas Secas               40   21   9  10    37   24  +13    72
 9 Valão                         40   19  13   8    45   26  +19    70
10 Uniao Tortuguita              40   19  10  11    42   27  +15    67
11 Kitherwell                    40   18  13   9    35   21  +14    67
12 Sparta Zijweg                 40   18  13   9    34   24  +10    67
13 Guerrilla Cathair             40   18  11  11    54   29  +25    65
14 Clockwork FC                  40   18  10  12    40   27  +13    64
15 KT Ferratzaileak              40   18   9  13    51   37  +14    63
16 Crossport Mariners            40   17  12  11    33   21  +12    63
17 Reina Del Sud                 40   18   8  14    46   35  +11    62
18 KT Kanpoldelko                40   17  11  12    42   33   +9    62
19 Vidrieros                     40   17  10  13    38   31   +7    61
20 SC Laivanrakentajas           40   16  10  14    50   36  +14    58
21 Lemmitania State FC           40   15  11  14    27   31   −4    56
22 Valens AV                     40   13  15  12    38   34   +4    54
23 Ceilerden Harp                40   15   9  16    40   43   −3    54
24 Frecce                        40   13  14  13    41   42   −1    53
25 Viking Halehavn               40   13  13  14    39   41   −2    52
26 Orquideas                     40   15   7  18    40   44   −4    52
27 Cerejeiras                    40   12  10  18    35   40   −5    46
28 CF Cruceros                   40    9  14  17    25   34   −9    41
29 Maccabi Hasiera               40   10  11  19    20   36  −16    41
30 Coile Owls                    40   10  10  20    28   45  −17    40
31 Calcio Lecho                  40    9  12  19    27   42  −15    39
32 Valderantia United            40    8  14  18    29   49  −20    38
33 Viking Hryggur                40    8  14  18    22   43  −21    38
34 Ross Railway                  40    9  11  20    24   46  −22    38
35 Coile Blades                  40    8  13  19    21   48  −27    37
36 Fundición                     40    7  15  18    25   47  −22    36
37 Glasgar Royals                40    9   9  22    22   48  −26    36
38 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz      40    7  10  23    17   40  −23    31
39 Glasgar Rebels                40    6  13  21    31   58  −27    31
40 PLFC                          40    8   6  26    23   55  −32    30
41 Steelworks                    40    3  11  26    17   59  −42    20

In perhaps the biggest shock of the season, PLFC haven't finished as the league's worst team for two seasons in a row now. Steelworks have gone above and beyond the call of duty.

This is the last season of the R41, which next year will separate into various regional leagues.

KT Koroatuz 4-1 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
KT Ferramendiak 2-0 Sobrevolante

KT Koroatuz 1-0 Sobrevolante
KT Ferramendiak 2-0 Sporting Clube Marinheiros

KT Koroatuz 4-5 KT Ferramendiak
Sobrevolante 2-6 Sporting Clube Marinheiros

Promotion/Relegation Lg. P  W  D  L  F  A  Pts
KT Ferramendiak          3  3  0  0  9  4  9 NL1
KT Koroatuz              3  2  0  1  9  6  6 NL1
-------------------------
SC Marinheiros           3  1  0  2  8  8  3 NL2
Sobrevolante             3  0  0  3  2 10  0 NL2

In stark contrast to the excitement of the end of the league season, the Pro/Rel playoff is done and dusted after two matchdays, with Feri and Kozi comfortably retaining their National League One status.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu May 21, 2020 9:20 am

Part Four

Kirola Cup Preliminary Round
Viking Halehavn 1–2 Frecce
Steelworks 2–3 Glasgar Royals
KT Ferratzaileak 1–0 Vidrieros
Orquideas 1–0 Calcio Lecho
Valderantia United 1–0 Clockwork FC
2130 Calolziolungho 2–2 Glasgar Rebels (3–2 AET)
Coile Blades 1–0 Fundición
Viking Hryggur 0–0 Coile Owls (0–0 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Maccabi Hasiera 1–2 Sparta Zijweg
Deportivo de Puerta Cruz 1–3 Ceilerden Harp
CF Cruceros 0–1 Cerejeiras
PLFC 0–1 Ross Railway

Kirola Cup First Round
KT Kanpoldelko 4–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 Huiszwalluw FC
Coile Blades 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 2–0 Crossport Dynamo
Eletti Valligiani 2–0 Alistoun Academicals
Iron Brewery 1–0 Uniao Tortuguita
AS Marcadia 2–0 Frecce
United Cathair FC 0–1 SC Laivanrakentajas
Hibernação 0–2 KT Moreazerua
Cerejeiras 1–2 2130 Calolziolungho
Necromarinai 3–0 Lemmitania State FC
Corações 0–0 DDM Dunas Secas (0–1 AET)
Bombarralense 0–0 Ross Railway (2–0 AET)
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 Valens AV (0–0 AET) (7–6 pen.)
Kitherwell 0–1 Artiglieria
Orquideas 0–5 Excelsior Zijweg
Oljestaden IF 0–1 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 3–3 CdFS Ilheiros (4–4 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
Reina Del Sud 1–1 Ceilerden Rovers (1–2 AET)
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–2 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 KT Koroatuz (1–2 AET)
Glasgar Royals 0–1 Ceilerden Harp
Coile Owls 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Crossport Mariners 1–0 CdF Celtade
The Oran 0–3 Laranjeiras
KT Ferratzaileak 1–0 Sparta Zijweg
Burdoc Ridge 1–0 Valão
Sobrevolante 1–0 Santa Margarida
Guerrilla Cathair 1–0 Silexhera FC
C.D. Portobranco 1–0 Valderantia United
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–3 CF Herradores

Kirola Cup Second Round
KT Kanpoldelko 0–1 Laranjeiras
Artiglieria 2–0 Ceilerden Harp
CF Herradores 1–0 Eletti Valligiani
SC Laivanrakentajas 1–1 Necromarinai (1–1 AET) (1–3 pen.)
DDM Dunas Secas 2–0 Sobrevolante
Ceilerden Rovers 1–0 Crossport Mariners
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Ferratzaileak 1–4 Shamrock Cathair
Iron Brewery 0–2 KT Moreazerua
Guerrilla Cathair 0–2 KT Itzalovalle
Excelsior Zijweg 1–1 1830 Cathair (1–1 AET) (1–2 pen.)
C.D. Portobranco 0–0 2130 Calolziolungho (0–1 AET)
KT Ferramendiak 2–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Huiszwalluw FC 1–1 Bombarralense (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Burdoc Ridge 0–2 AS Marcadia

Kirola Cup Third Round
DDM Dunas Secas 0–3 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 KT Koroatuz
Laranjeiras 0–2 1830 Cathair
Bombarralense 7–2 2130 Calolziolungho
Osarese Marcadia 1–2 Artiglieria
CF Herradores 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia (0–0 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Ceilerden Rovers 0–2 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 0–1 Necromarinai

Kirola Cup Quarter-finals
Bombarralense 0–4 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Necromarinai
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–1 Artiglieria

Kirola Cup Semi-finals
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Necromarinai 0–1 1830 Cathair

Kirola Cup Final
KT Moreazerua 0–1 1830 Cathair

1830 Cathair win their first ever Kirola Cup.

That’s right. The team that had won the old LigAnaia, CopAnaia, old Champions Cup, new Champions League and all the rest had never actually been able to win any of the all-Audioslavian cup competitions before.

Their victory comes via a second-half strike from Thorsten Kramer, who buries a long-range shot into the bottom corner in the only goal of the game. It caps off a dominant run wherein the only goal the Teatimers conceded in the tournament was a solitary strike in the first round against Excelsior Zijweg, against whom they needed penalty kicks to overcome.

The hole in Cathair’s trophy cabinet has been filled.

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jul 31, 2020 12:27 pm

SEASON 12

Matchday 1
Bombarralense 1–1 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 2–0 Oljestaden IF
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–2 KT Koroatuz
Cazadores Cathair 4–1 KT Laranjauzia
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 2
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Koroatuz 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Moreazerua 0–2 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–5 AC Izotz Zubia

Matchday 3
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 KT Koroatuz
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 KT Laranjauzia


Matchday 4
KT Koroatuz 2–7 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 0–4 Cazadores Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 4–2 KT Ferramendiak
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC


Matchday 5
KT Ferramendiak 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
AS Marcadia 2–2 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 3–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Laranjauzia 2–1 KT Koroatuz

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle                   5    3   2   0     5    2   +3    11
 2 Shamrock Cathair                 4    3   1   0    11    2   +9    10
 3 Cazadores Cathair                4    3   1   0    12    4   +8    10
 4 AC Izotz Zubia                   3    2   1   0     8    3   +5     7
 5 1830 Cathair                     2    2   0   0     4    0   +4     6
 6 Osarese Marcadia                 4    1   1   2     7   10   −3     4
 7 Oljestaden IF                    5    1   1   3     3    8   −5     4
 8 KT Koroatuz                      5    1   1   3     8   14   −6     4
 9 Isle of Kjeligsted FC            2    1   0   1     1    1    0     3
10 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi            3    1   0   2     2    3   −1     3
11 KT Laranjauzia                   4    1   0   3     3    7   −4     3
12 AS Marcadia                      1    0   1   0     2    2    0     1
   Bombarralense                    1    0   1   0     1    1    0     1
14 KT Ferramendiak                  2    0   1   1     4    6   −2     1
15 KT Moreazerua                    5    0   1   4     1    9   −8     1

Ah, the National League table after five matchdays. Anyone wanting an indication of where the season would be going would be just as well off farting into a sieve and tracing the vapour.

Here’s what we know after the few games that have been played: There are five unbeaten teams, and they’re the teams you might expect to be unbeaten at this stage. Champions Caza, Itzi, Shamrock, Zozi and Cathair. All five will soon be playing IFCF football either side of their league encounters though, and it remains to be seen how well they’ll be doing once they’re burning the candle at both ends.

The above teams are five members of the ‘Big Six’. The other are KT Moreazerua. Where are they? They’re bottom of the league despite having played on every matchday.

It’s a disastrous start to the campaign for manager Jouard Caceres, and the former KT Koroatuz, KT Itzalovalle, 1830 Cathair, Cazadores Cathair and Audioslavia defender decides to jump before he’s pushed, being replaced a few days later by former Mozi striker Imanol Andueza, promoted from his position as coach of the under 21s.

KT Moreazerua
(Ibarretako Estadioa, Moreazerua)

1. Pendergarst (36, G , DAI)
2. Boualem Ghannouchi (32, D RC, AUD)
3. Asztrik Puskás (28, D L, AUD)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (22, D C, AUD)
6. Dieter Konoval (32, D C, NPH)
7. Kelvin Lisco (30, D/M R, SAR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (17, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (20, F C, AUD)
10. Joan Nonhagatte (32, M C, FFD)
11. Rynyr-Pilta Jan (31, AM C, QUS)
12. Umbro (31, F C, DAI)
13. Deitr Konovaal (31, M C, MRN)
14. Ortzi Iarzagarai (29, D/M RC, AUD)
15. Roc Riva (18, D RC, AUD)
16. Benin Gerrikabeitia (30, D/M R, AUD)
18. Circe (26, F C, DAI)
19. Trevor Paraoan (21, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Bartolomej Wladmirowić (29, D LC, ZRH)
21. Morea Zozetua (30, M L, MRN)
22. Catheline Voegel (30, M L, NPH)
23. Maren Artetxebarria (21, G , AUD)
~~Mng. Jouard Caceres (60, AUD)~~
Mng. Imanol Andueza (41, F C, AUD)

Colours: Purple shirts with red trim, black shorts, purple socks

Audioslavian Champions: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Line-up

Andueza gets to work quickly, replacing 36 year-old Daineri goalkeeper Pendergarst with young Audioslavian Artetxebarria and building an attack around the young Koenraad Rijsbergen, recently signed from Isle of Kjeligsted, and changing to a 4-3-3 formation with Kelvin Lisco shifted to right-back.

Mozi’s target, as always, is at least to get into the Challengers’ Cup. Last season’s eighth place finish, twelve points behind the final IFCF place, was unacceptable. What they really want is to be challenging for the title, like they used to at the start of the National League era, but that hasn’t been a realistic goal for some time now.

With such an awful start to the season, Andueza has his work cut out for him.

Matchday 6
Oljestaden IF 2–0 KT Laranjauzia
KT Moreazerua 2–2 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Bombarralense
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 AS Marcadia
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 KT Ferramendiak

Matchday 7
AS Marcadia 0–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Bombarralense 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 4–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Koroatuz 2–4 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 8
KT Moreazerua 0–0 KT Koroatuz
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 1830 Cathair
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–3 Bombarralense
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 AS Marcadia

Matchday 9
Bombarralense 0–3 KT Ferramendiak
1830 Cathair 2–4 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 4–6 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 3–0 KT Moreazerua

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                   7    6   1   0    17    5  +12    19
 2 Oljestaden IF                    8    4   1   3    12   10   +2    13
 3 Shamrock Cathair                 5    3   2   0    13    4   +9    11
 4 KT Itzalovalle                   5    3   2   0     5    2   +3    11
 5 Cazadores Cathair                5    3   1   1    16   10   +6    10
 6 1830 Cathair                     5    3   0   2    10    6   +4     9
 7 Osarese Marcadia                 8    2   3   3    16   20   −4     9
 8 KT Ferramendiak                  5    2   2   1     8    6   +2     8
 9 Isle of Kjeligsted FC            6    2   1   3     6    7   −1     7
10 KT Moreazerua                    9    1   3   5     4   14  −10     6
11 Bombarralense                    5    1   2   2     5    8   −3     5
12 KT Koroatuz                      7    1   2   4    10   18   −8     5
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi            5    1   1   3     4    7   −3     4
14 AS Marcadia                      4    0   3   1     3    5   −2     3
15 KT Laranjauzia                   6    1   0   5     3   10   −7     3

In Andueza’s defence, he’s improved his team’s points tally six-fold. On the other hand, Mozi have played more matches than any other team thus far and are stuck in tenth place, with only one win to their name. Rijsbergen gets on the scoresheet twice, and Artetxebarria was looking solid, but a three-nothing capitulation to Oljestaden piles the misery on the herradurans.

What follows for the team in purple is a much needed four-game break wherein Andueza has to find a system that works.

KT Ferramendiak
(Burdina Jauregia, Ferramendiak)

1. Jordan Yoda (30, G , AFT)
3. Maren Irigoyen (31, D LC, AUD)
4. Gorka Gurmendi (29, M C, AUD)
5. Rafael Borrego (34, D C, AUD)
6. Andoni Gorrindo (30, D C, AUD)
7. Marco van Ciavatinni (34, M/F CR, ESH)
8. Kemen Goyenetche (25, M C, AUD)
9. Joshua Ferrand (25, F C, AUD)
10. Stanimir Rekawić (20, AM C, ZRH)
11. Ixaka Linda (28, M L, AUD)
12. Fathallah Echavarria (25, D/M LC, AUD)
13. Juan Esteban Corpuz (31, G , AUD)
14. Bardol Yrigoyen (25, D R, AUD)
15. Ximun Arambillet (31, D L, AUD)
17. Igon Inurrutegi (21, F C, AUD)
18. Juan Sebastián Rigor (30, D C, AUD)
18. Xalbador Telleria (21, DM C, AUD)
19. Parketh Barcena (21, F C, AUD)
Mng. Antwan Wangsgard (60, D R, AUD)

Colours: White shirts, black/white shorts, white socks.
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

The Burdina Jauregia is the most modern stadium in the top flight, built for World Cup 75 by the Audioslavian government and leased, cheaply, to Feri thereafter. Ferramendiak have made an already large stadium look cavernous at times, with only the most loyal of their fanbase braving the elements to see their team in the late autumn. Last season the side avoided relegation by the skin of their teeth, and many have been expecting them to finally drop back to the second tier.

Feri, though, occasionally surprise. They go into matchday ten of the season having lost only once, and with a wins and two draws in their last three games - one of those draws a game against AC Izotz Zubia where they twice came back from a goal down to draw two all.

On matchday ten, buoyed by their side’s recent form, the Ferramendiak fans manage to half-fill the Burdina Jauregia, with travelling Cathair fans doing their best to fill the other half. It’s the best atmosphere Feri have had in a long time. Could this be it? Could this be the season where they fight for an IFCF place? Could they deliver a huge upset against the biggest team in the country? Would Stanimir Rekawić and Joshua Ferrand prove themselves to be an elite strike partnership? Could this team of locals and journeymen make the highly-paid visiting stars of Cathair look like equals?

Matchday 10
Osarese Marcadia 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 1–3 Cazadores Cathair
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 2–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Ferramendiak 1–8 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 2–1 Bombarralense

No.

KT Itzalovalle
(The Antzerkia, Ferramendiak)

1. Vianca (25, G , DAI)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (20, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Anxo Osorio (26, D RL, AUD)
4. Moses Moxey (19, M C, AUD)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (19, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (20, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (23, DM C, AUD)
8. Wilhelm Nkitilina (22, F C, TAE)
9. Gabirel Zozaia (21, F C, AUD)
10. Metan Cordean (33, M/AM C, COS)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (23, M RL, AUD)
12. Archnique Henderson (20, F C, AUD)
13. Zakuty (23, F C, DAI)
14. Jiskastnya (23, F C, DAI)
15. Laurentzi Arenaza (22, M L, AUD)
16. Xabat Legarza (22, M C, AUD)
17. Alessandro Juliana (32, M CR, AUD)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (16, M CR, AUD)
19. Elis Løvland (22, D L, FFD)
20. Reynard Salama (18, D C, EFL)
21. Theo Cosumar (22, D RL, AUD)
23. Thiago Vinas (28, AM L, AUD)
26. Echepare Rospide (21, G , ASG)
Mng. Arnoud Koolhaas (37, D C, AUD)[/pre]

Colours: Red shirts with black sleeves, black shorts, red socks

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Line-up

When KT Itzalovalle lost their inspirational manager Ager Alaba to AC Izotz Zubia, many doubted whether they’d be able to continue on from their strong Season 11, wherein they were fighting for the title until the very last day of the season. Also up in the air was the fate of midfield wonderkid Moses Moxey, already an established international for Audioslavia.

That the side managed to keep hold of their young star has no doubt helped Itzi’s cause and, under the guidance of new manager Arnaud Koolhaas, Itzalovalle are one of only two unbeaten sides so far in the league, occupying second place behind early front-runners AC Izotz Zubia, albeit having played two fewer games.

On matchday eleven, Itzi host AC Izotz Zubia in the first of the season’s top-of-the-table clashes.

Matchday 11
1830 Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–3 KT Ferramendiak
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 5–0 Osarese Marcadia

It’s a hard-fought game at The Antzerkia, with Moxey pulling the strings in midfield and ensuring his side have the better of the play in the first half, but Zozi are one of the favourites for the league, and Butler’s slide-rule pass for Baume to convert soon after half-time tips the balance in favour of the men in salmon and silver.

Zozaia and Oteiza both go close for Itzalovalle as they struggle to draw level, but Zozi’s defence hold strong. With the win, Izotz Zubia go six points clear at the top with a 7-1-1 record, the only blemishes being their draw with KT Ferramendiak and a recent loss to title challengers Cazadores Cathair, who now occupy second place a point ahead of Cathair and two points ahead of their other city rivals Shamrock Cathair.

Shamrock have played only six games, and are now the only side unbeaten in the league.


Shamrock Cathair 
(Glass Bridge Stadium, Cathair)

1. Bombidillyo (30, G , DAI)
2. Atsuhiro Miyazawa (26, D R, OSR)
3. Aron McKenna (22, D L, TJU)
4. Jay Van Beuren (33, DM C, AUD)
5. Logan Osborn (31, D LC, AUD)
6. Les Jawallawalla (22, D/M C, APX)
7. Yohan Millar (27, M/F CR, EFL)
8. Corby Wheeler (27, M C, BRE)
9. Aldo Vocani (38, F C, MRN)
10. Alexander Crewe (33, F C, APX)
11. Rosewing (30, F C, EQS)
12. Derrick McLendon (30, D LC, AUD)
13. Illya Karapetrov (29, D L, STL)
14. Thor Møller (28, F C, VAL)
15. Bryson O'Lara (18, D C, EFL)
16. Samuel McCurdy (32, M RC, AUD)
17. Kieran Docherty (28, D R, BRE)
18. Colm O'Tuathail (25, M L, KSK)
19. Fergus Sloan (24, M L, GRU)
22. Thomas McFarland (17, G , AUD)
23. Archer Andrews (20, F C, TJU)
25. Rod Gordon (17, F C, AUD)
26. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (19, D C, KOR)
Mng. Rohan Cammers (48, M C, APX)

Colours: Green shirts with gold trim, green shorts, green socks.
Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

International Honours:
Vilitan Cove Invitational: 1

Line-up

After being so close to the title in Season 10 and losing the Challengers’ Cup final to Zozi in season eleven, Shamrock are desperate to add some more silverware to mark their presence as one of the premier Audioslavian sides of the age. Last week’s 5-0 demolition of a good Osarese Marcadia side is an expression of their intentions, as is their activity in the transfer market. Shamrock make two lucrative signings in the form of Vanorian striker Thor Møller and Brenecian midfielder Corby Wheeler.

The new additions force Rohan Cammers into making a tough decision at the top, with talisman Alexander Crewe starting most games from the bench. Møller is the man, for the moment, partnered with Equestrian striker Rosewing.

On matchday twelve it’s Shamrock’s turn to fight it out against AC Izotz Zubia, the side who just took away Itzalovalle’s undefeated record.

Matchday 12
Osarese Marcadia 1–3 KT Laranjauzia
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Shamrock Cathair
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Bombarralense 1–1 1830 Cathair

Saturday lunchtime’s game with Zozi does not go as planned. Knudsen and Butler are too strong on the wings for Shamrock’s full-backs, with Miyazawa in particular looking overworked and overawed on the flank. Zozi run out 3-0 winners through goals from Butler, Carrick and Deschapelles and, with Caza only managing a draw with Ferramendiak, go eight points clear at the top of the table at this early stage.

Osarese Marcadia
(Stadio Fabio Mancini, Marcadia)

1. Saoirise (24, G , DAI)
2. Tyson Palma (39, D R, AUD)
3. Luigi Biagi (28, D/M LC, AUD)
4. Isaia Urso (36, M C, OSR)
5. Raimundo Saade (27, D RC, AUD)
6. Gavin Mitchell (39, M C, OSR)
7. Anthony Napier (33, M RC, AUD)
8. Mauithay (24, M C, DAI)
9. Louis O'Brien (34, F C, OSR)
10. Garnett Makanza (22, F C, OSR)
11. Lakhan Machaka (32, M L, SRS)
12. Lauro Tedesco (37, DM C, OSR)
13. Shinji Teruzuki (23, G , OSR)
14. Caprice Martinelli (33, DM C, OSR)
15. Mattia Di Perna (28, D C, AUD)
16. Tayaaga Romneir (24, D C, MRN)
17. Luca Passini (19, M RC, AUD)
18. Celestina Favelli (25, M CR, AUD)
19. Paolo Marini (31, D LC, AUD)
20. Klavdii Davydov (31, F C, AUD)
21. Adam Porro (31, D/M RL, AUD)
Mng. Fabio Mancini (39, M C, OSR)

Colours: Dark red shirts with black and gold trim

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Line-up

Osarese Marcadia have been the pride and joy of Audioslavia (and possibly Osarius as well - Osarese, founded by Osarian immigrants, are proud of their heritage) in the Challengers’ Cup, already through to the knockout stages still with a game to play in the group stage, but their form on the international stage has come at the expense of their league form. Osarese are a well-drilled team, but an old one, with nine players either into, or the wrong side of, their mid thirties. That’s including Fabio Mancini, the team’s player-manager, who last year only gave himself ten minutes of play-time all season - over the course of three matches. With the intensity of the fixture list, the Phoenix’s player-manager has had to put his shorts on more often, and with injuries to Mitchell and Urso, has decided to give himself his first start in two years for the team for their trip to Koroatuz.

Matchday 13
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–2 Bombarralense
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
KT Laranjauzia 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Koroatuz 1–2 Osarese Marcadia

”..and number 38, Fabio Mancini” brings not only a pre-game roar from the travelling fans but a gracious applause from the home faithful. Mancini may have played for local rivals AC Izotz Zubia, but he’s a respected figure in Audioslavia.
 Mancini takes up a position in defensive midfield and, as you may expect, plays at a walking pace for most of the first half, collecting the ball, shrugging off a marker and pinging passes left and right. Nevertheless, the home team take the lead through Abarrotz Zumalakarregi’s drilled shot, and it’s Kozi who lead at half-time.

Still with something to give, Mancini comes out for the second half and sets up Osarese’s equalizer, playing a delightful through-ball for Makanza to race onto and hook past Yamaj-Zorno Mal for the equalizer.

Osarese tire throughout the second half as Kozi pile on the pressure, looking to get back in front, and Mancini leaves the field on seventy minutes. His replacement, the young Luca Passini, has an immediate impact, sprinting down the left and pinging a high cross that finds Louis O’Brien arriving on the far post to clumsily thump the ball over the line with his thigh.

It’s only Osarese’s second win of their eleven-game league season, and it comes against the league’s bottom team.

[box]


Isle of Kjeligsted FC 
(1927 Arena, Kjelstad)

1. Zebjan Istanjovich (41, G , SIC)
2. Irfan Mughrabi (27, D RC, AUD)
3. Roy Arazi (22, D L, AUD)
4. Thad Verhoek (21, DM C, AUD)
5. Alexander Loyola (27, D C, AUD)
6. Zackothy Almanzar (24, D C, AUD)
9. Youri Salahamidzic (32, F C, AUD)
10. Kletus Tosset (25, F C, COS)
11. Thijmen Lauwers (20, M/F L, AUD)
12. Tzaus Arcidiacono (22, F C, AUD)
13. Aernout Van der Burg (21, D L, AUD)
14. Reginaldo Conceicao (26, M/F RL, AUD)
15. Dominent Marotto (22, DM C, AUD)
16. Arvid Dahm (26, M RL, AUD)
17. Dallas Camuso (27, AM LC, AUD)
18. Hajji Trejo (32, D/M LC, AUD)
19. Hatem Hawass (20, M C, AUD)
20. Saadallah Alawi (32, F C, AUD)
21. William Abdelmalak (22, F C, AUD)
23. Hossam Nasiri (18, M C, AUD)
24. Hussein Alban (17, D/M C, AUD)
Mng. Christopher Peña (48, D RL, AUD)

Isle of Kjeligsted have been part of the league system since the third season of the LigAnaia, an era where their best finishes were in a few seasons in the top ten of the old R49 second division. In the National League era, the side have twice been relegated to the third tier, bouncing back immediately both times, and have been promoted to the top flight just once, for season eight, where they were unlucky enough to be automatically relegated on goal-difference.

The side feature the oldest player in the league in the form of goalkeeper Zebjan Istonvich, who is so old he’s from Sicoutimont. Aside from the former Lac-Drouin St-Pierre, KT Moreazerua and Oljestaden keeper, only Kletus Tosset, also formerly of Kjeligsted’s local rivals Oljestaden, is from somewhere other than Audioslavia.

Although the island of Kjeligsted has always had money, IoK have never seen much of it. The side were favourites to go back down, but three wins in their first ten games have put the side into eighth place thus far.

Matchday 15
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 AS Marcadia
KT Laranjauzia 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
KT Koroatuz 0–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Oljestaden IF 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Osarese Marcadia

Kozi and Kjeli cancel each other out in a dire encounter, though both sides will be happy with their point.

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  13    9   2   2    25   11  +14    29
 2 KT Itzalovalle                  11    7   3   1    14    6   +8    24
 3 1830 Cathair                    10    7   1   2    23    8  +15    22
 4 Shamrock Cathair                10    6   2   2    23   11  +12    20
 5 Cazadores Cathair               11    6   2   3    25   15  +10    20
 6 Oljestaden IF                   10    6   1   3    19   13   +6    19
 7 Bombarralense                   10    3   4   3    12   14   −2    13
 8 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           12    3   3   6     9   13   −4    12
 9 KT Ferramendiak                 11    3   3   5    16   22   −6    12
10 Osarese Marcadia                14    3   3   8    21   36  −15    12
11 KT Laranjauzia                  10    3   2   5     8   12   −4    11
12 KT Moreazerua                   10    2   3   5     5   14   −9     9
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           10    2   2   6    10   17   −7     8
14 AS Marcadia                     10    1   4   5     8   16   −8     7
15 KT Koroatuz                     10    1   3   6    11   21  −10     6

Kozi stay bottom of the league, though certainly still in touch with the sides above them, while Isle of Kjeligsted are still in a nosebleed-inducing eighth, though having played two more games than the teams above them it seems unlikely that they’ll be heading further up the table.

Next up for Isle of Kjeligsted is a match that their fans will consider to be the biggest match of the season. The closest thing they get to a local rivalry. The Hygolje Bridge Derby. Isle of Kjeligsted versus Oljestaden IF.


Oljestaden IF 
(Hygolje Arena, Oljestaden)

1. Donato Castillo (24, G , EFL)
2. Maas Hadler (32, D C, MRN)
3. Santiago Santiago (25, D L, TAE)
4. Hans Jäggman (38, D C, SVJ)
5. Da Chong (20, D C, JOV)
6. Pelle Juergensen (22, D/M R, AUD)
8. Tofer Kahlor (27, AM C, COS)
10. Josep Ros (20, F C, AUD)
12. Krijn Van de Velde (29, M/F RC, AUD)
13. Kasperi Otalainen (30, F C, SVJ)
14. Badminton (37, M C, DAI)
15. Vulav-Izilv Lec (19, DM C, QUS)
16. Thorian Nielsen (18, DM C, AUD)
17. Torvald Ebben (26, M C, SRS)
18. Eric Soren (21, D RC, AUD)
19. Eyvindur Vilar-Trom (16, F C, AUD)
20. Numbers Guégan (19, M C, AUD)
21. Bastiaan Makaay (20, M C, AUD)
22. Maxi Lundgren (33, G , NPH)
24. Erwin Spijkers (18, M RC, AUD)
29. Dries Van den Bossche (20, M LC, AUD)
Mng. Tomas Kristofics (42, DM C, PIS)

Colours: Light blue shirts with orange trim, white shorts, orange socks.

COCANEFA Honours:
CopAnaia: 1
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 2

Line-up

Oljestaden IF versus Isle of Kjelisted is a strange derby. The city of Oljestaden lies on the north coast of Audioslavia. A few miles over the water, on the island of Kjeligsted, lies the city of Iadub, where Isle of Kjeligsted play. Both cities were built on oil, easily the biggest industry in the area - and one of the biggest industries in Audioslavia as a whole.

For most of the history of these two teams, encounters have been sparse. The two teams have only been in the same division for six seasons in total - five at the end of the LigAnaia era, stuck in the R49 where they only played one another once per season, with Kjeligsted out-performing Oljestaden only once, and once in season eight where Oljestaden finished seventh and, in the first half of the season, defeated their rivals 6-0 away from home. IoK were relegated.

Oljestaden IF are one of the Original Six professional football teams in Audioslavia, playing in the first season of the LigAnaia. Indeed, their golden age was in those ancient seasons, finishing ninth and fifth in seasons one and two and winning the inaugural CopAnaia. Following on from relegation in the first year of the National League, the side went through the most consistently impressive phase in their history between seasons five and seven, finishing fourth once and fifth twice, but UICA/IFCF football has eluded the team since then.

Manager Tomas Kristofics has made an additions in the off-season in the form of Maxi Lundgren, but the biggest news player-wise is in the form of skilful youngster Erwin Spijkers, whose services the side will rely on this season.

Matchday 16
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 KT Moreazerua
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–2 Oljestaden IF
KT Ferramendiak 4–0 KT Koroatuz
AS Marcadia 3–4 KT Laranjauzia
Bombarralense 0–5 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 4–0 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 Cazadores Cathair

Spijkers is indeed the man for the Oilers as they steamroller Isle of Kjeligsted in a frantic first half, with Spijkers looping a corner-kick onto the head of Da Chong for the first and volleying home the second at the far post. Kjeligsted make a game of it in the second half, but Da Chong and Hadler are too solid at the back.

Oljestaden stay sixth, now seven points ahead of the rest and only three points away from second place. At the top, AC Izotz Zubia remain in first place.


AC Izotz Zubia 
(Soldaduak Eremuaberria, Izotzazubia )

1. Gentle Breeze (34, G , EQS)
2. Leonardo Ceron (21, D C, AUD)
3. Viriato Ramires (22, D LC, AUD)
4. Domiku Bergara (26, DM C, ASG)
5. Matteo Corriere (29, D RC, AUD)
6. Michael Christie (23, D C, SCT)
7. Wilfried Baume (28, F C, VLD)
8. Tigran Deschapelles (21, M C, AUD)
9. Thomas Butler (17, M R, NWK)
10. Kyran Knudsen (28, AM L, AUD)
11. Vesuvia Carrick (31, F C, BRE)
13. Branadru (33, G , DAI)
15. Txomin Lacouague (32, D LC, AUD)
16. Ixaka Echeberz (27, D R, ASG)
18. Coridai (23, F C, DAI)
22. Zafarullah Hamdani (22, M RC, AUD)
23. Larry Martinez (23, D L, NWK)
31. Javier Besoitagoena (24, M C, AUD)
34. Eurico Da Rosa (17, AM/F C, AUD)
Mng. Ager Alaba (45, M C, ASG)

Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 9
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 3

COCANEFA Honours:
COCANEFA Champions: 2

International Honours:
UICA Champions Cup / IFCF Champions League: 1
UICA Globe Cup / IFCF Challengers’ Cup: 1
AOCL: 2
Cup Winners’ Cup: 1

So you’re Ager Alaba and you’re heading into the biggest managerial job of your career at one of the biggest club sides in the world. What do you do? Do you sell off your team’s star player and use the money to buy a teenage winger from Northwest Kalactin? Do you trim the squad to its bare bones, discarding international players who have hit the wrong side of thirty and replacing them with untested teenagers? Do you also sign two players from your home nation who have never been proven at this level? Do you take a super-attacking team and make them line up 4-4-2?

No? Congratulations, you have no imagination.

Zozi lost Laborious Hawk last season and Valrauncion at the start of this season. They sold young hopeful Elian Bra and punted former international Storm Holsen. They sold Castaldo to Paulinthal and let useful squad players Martikorena, Juliana and Etxaurren go. Alaba has put together a small, tight-knit group of players that, he hopes, will win them the league. While he was doing that, the fans were demanding his head before a ball had been kicked in the season.

And then all was forgotten.

Zozi have played more games than almost any other team, sure, but they’ve used them well, winning ten of their fourteen games, losing only twice, and racing to the top of the league with a seven point margin. Catchable? Sure, but only if Cathair fail to lose their last three games before the halfway stage.

Zozi sit out the final three games of the first half of the season and watch as the chasing pack eat into their lead at the top. Alaba knows that, with the second half of the season’s fixtures being a copy of the first, they will have to go through this process once more at the very end of the season. That will be a much more tense affair.

Matchday 17
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Shamrock Cathair 0–2 1830 Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 Bombarralense
KT Koroatuz 2–2 AS Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 4–2 KT Ferramendiak
KT Moreazerua 0–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC

Matchday 18
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 KT Moreazerua
AS Marcadia 1–0 Oljestaden IF
Bombarralense 0–1 KT Koroatuz
1830 Cathair 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 19
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Koroatuz 2–4 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 0–3 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 5–0 AS Marcadia

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair                    14   11   1   2    34   10  +24    34
 2 AC Izotz Zubia                  14   10   2   2    27   12  +15    32
 3 KT Itzalovalle                  14    8   3   3    16   12   +4    27
 4 Shamrock Cathair                14    8   2   4    30   15  +15    26
 5 Cazadores Cathair               14    8   2   4    29   18  +11    26
 6 Oljestaden IF                   14    8   1   5    25   19   +6    25
 7 Bombarralense                   14    5   4   5    16   20   −4    19
 8 KT Ferramendiak                 14    4   4   6    22   26   −4    16
 9 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           14    4   3   7    10   15   −5    15
10 KT Laranjauzia                  14    4   2   8    12   18   −6    14
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           14    4   2   8    12   19   −7    14
12 KT Moreazerua                   14    3   4   7    11   17   −6    13
13 Osarese Marcadia                14    3   3   8    21   36  −15    12
14 AS Marcadia                     14    2   5   7    14   27  −13    11
15 KT Koroatuz                     14    2   4   8    16   31  −15    10

1830 Cathair duly win their final three games, including a two-nothing victory over local rivals Shamrock. The Teatimers lead the league at the halfway stage by two points, and it’s looking like a two-horse race is forming between the league’s two heavyweights.

Behind them, last season’s runners-up KT Itzalovalle are five points adrift, with Shamrock and reigning champions Cazadores a point further back. Oljestaden are having their best season in a long time, sitting in sixth place a full six points ahead of seventh where Bombarralense occupy the final IFCF place.

If the season were to finish today, Isle of Kjeligsted would enter the Vilitan Cove Invitational and would finish six places higher than their best ever performance while, at the bottom, Koroatuz remain in the danger zone.

With them at the foot of the table are the two Marcadian clubs, AS and Osarese, with the former unfortunately very experienced in relegation scraps and the latter still failing to juggle their impressive IFCF Challengers’ Cup performances with the weekend’s league matches. Above them, Andueza has failed to make an impact at Mozi whose fans are disgusted with the fact that, despite being one of the so-called ‘Big Six’, they look to be in a relegation dogfight this season.

Audioslavia Domestic Football Newswire

Season Twelve, Part 1

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