Based on the 2006 Fabuloso incident, when hundreds of people were poisoned by a newly-introduced cleaning fluid that had packaging that resembled a soft drink.
TITLE:
Clean Flavours
VALIDITY:
Nations without super-strict packaging standards, capitalist.
DESCRIPTION:
Over the weekend two dozen people were admitted to hospital with poisoning from accidental ingestion of the detergent liquid Wonderoso, having mistaken it for a soft drink.
OPTION 1
"It's irresponsible to package detergent in the same way as soft drinks," observes Dr. @@randomname@@, a toxicologist. "It's not just the liquids either. There's brightly coloured detergent tablets that kids mistake for sweets, and manufacturers apply odours like cinnamon, mint and vanilla to toxic products. Cleaning products should be hard to open, should look unappetising and should be clearly toxic in appearance!" @@HE@@ pauses to take a swig from @@HIS@@ soft drink, and suddenly stiffens and keels over like a falling log.
OUTCOME:
washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo
OPTION 2
"Our prime responsibility is to our shareholders, and that means maximising sales, and that means attractive packaging," explains a corporate marketing spokesperson, who is dressed in a lab coat to give the impression of being a scientist. "Its not our duty or your duty to protect people from their own stupidity, and you should be explicitly endorsing that position. Look on it this way -- we're raising the national IQ through natural selection. Yeah, you're welcome."
OUTCOME:
restaurants have noticed that hanging wet laundry from the ceiling makes diners order more food
OPTION 3
"The problem is not that detergents look like foods, it's that food looks like detergents," complains organic farmer @@randomname@@, waving a misshapen turnip at you. "We should ban food colourings and any food additives that are designed to change the visual appearance of edibles. Once people get used to natural-looking produce, there'll be no chance of them mistaking a pastel-coloured soap product for food."
OUTCOME:
orange juice has been renamed yellow juice