The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Island Girl Herby]

The bar doors fly open. Music begins to play, something like but not exactly identical to Ride of the Valkyries. The music slowly gets louder, louder, louder. Its source, a white Volkswagen Beetle with a circa 1963 body and a circled ‘53’ decal on its doors, slowly enters the bar while the music reaches its crescendo.

Bum ba bum bum yeah that’s right bitches I am BACK! And lookie here I ain’t just back but now I’m a full voting member of ehhhhhhhhhhhhh

A gentleman in a suit and tie enters the bar. He scans the bar, a quizzical look on his face.
Screw this, he whispers
LETS PARTY!
[he rips off his tie and blazer]

Leo looks askance at the man starting to remove his clothes and mutters, "I didn't think Chippendale Night was on until Saturday, else I'd've brought my velcro suit. Nice to see someone having a good time, I suppose."

ehhhhhhhhh and I’m out.

The music stops. The car reverses and exits.

[Denathor]

Callahan takes one look at the rapidly-undressing ambassador, checks beside the table to see that Chuckie had finished eating his notes, and decides that his day is probably done. He finishes his scotch, bids Riley a good day and leaves the bar.

[Wee free feegles]

Meanwhile a troop of 6" tall blue tattooed men weating kilts scrambled up onto the bar. They huddled and whispered in a group, then a few quickly, but steathily scurried off while the rest tried to look innocent. About five minutes later the stealthy feegles returned with a winecork, a couple of bottlecaps, and Jimmy's piece of chalk that he uses to write what beer is on tap for the day on a small chalkboard. The feegles draw some parallel lines on the bar, place the bottlecaps as goal markers, and placed the cork in the middle of thrit impromptu field. Next the troop form into two teams and line up against each other at the cork. As the gonnagle blows a short tune from his mousepipes, the two teams stsrt a scrum for the cork. Within minuted fists and feet were flying mightily with cries of, "Crivens!"

[Sierra Lyricalia]

Meanwhile a troop of 6" tall blue tattooed men weating kilts scrambled up onto the bar. They huddled and whispered in a group, then a few quickly, but steathily scurried off while the rest tried to look innocent. About five minutes later the stealthy feegles returned with a winecork, a couple of bottlecaps, and Jimmy's piece of chalk that he uses to write what beer is on tap for the day on a small chalkboard. The feegles draw some parallel lines on the bar, place the bottlecaps as goal markers, and placed the cork in the middle of thrit impromptu field. Next the troop form into two teams and line up against each other at the cork. As the gonnagle blows a short tune from his mousepipes, the two teams stsrt a scrum for the cork. Within minuted fists and feet were flying mightily with cries of, "Crivens!"

Leo fumbles around in one of his trouser pockets for a moment, then comes up with a banknote. He squints at it briefly, then slams it down on the bartop just behind the goal line to his left. "I lay twenty on the littl-- uh... on the team over here!" he shouts. "I know not what your team fight song is, gents, but perhaps this'll do." He clears his throat and launches into a mostly on-key rendition of 'Solidarity Forever'. "When the union's inspiration through the WORKers' blood shall run..."

[Xanthal]

Riley rubs his temples, casually pulling the hem of his shirt away from Chuckie's relentless gnashing teeth. Between the passage of time here and in Xanthal he long ago gave up on calculating his age, but there are moments when he- if nothing else- feels older than he looks. This is one such moment.

[Groot]

The music stops. The car reverses and exits.

The little car, however, makes it only as far as the threshold, as it bumps into Groot. "I am Groot," says Groot, an exclamation more of surprise than pain. Groot looks down and notices his old friend, Herby. "I am Groot!" he bellows as he puts a branch around the car, having previously thought he would never see her again. "I am Groot?" he asks, motioning toward the bar. He nods in Neville's direction, and waves the car back inside. "I am Groot."

[Island Girl Herby]

The music stops. The car reverses and exits.

The little car, however, makes it only as far as the threshold, as it bumps into Groot. "I am Groot," says Groot, an exclamation more of surprise than pain. Groot looks down and notices his old friend, Herby. "I am Groot!" he bellows as he puts a branch around the car, having previously thought he would never see her again. "I am Groot?" he asks, motioning toward the bar. He nods in Neville's direction, and waves the car back inside. "I am Groot."

Ooh sorry there bub wait wait wait WAIT it’s you! Hey you ol’ Grootie Patootie, how ya been? Okay okay yeah, let’s have a drink. You know what to do. Soooooo anyway whatcha been up to for the past ehhhhh what is it a year or so?

[Omigodtheykilledkenny]

From a side entrance, an incognito figure, his attire complete with dark sunglasses and a black hoodie, quietly slipped into the drinking establishment. For the most part he tried to ignore the hijinks of the Groot, the racecar and the strip-teaser as he grabbed a seat at the bar, next to the space where the fae folk's game was progressing. Noting the Lyrical banknote sitting behind one the goalposts, he nodded toward the SL diplomat and placed a tree-fiddy behind the opposing goal line. "I'll see your bet," he declared.

Having heard rumors that the drinks were on Senator Sulla, he ordered a pint of Arrogant Bastard Ale and raised it in the Palentine ambassador's direction before taking a first satisfying sip. He was always glad for the company of the Strangers' Bar, where all the patrons were too drunk to care enough to ask him pesky, annoying questions on subjects such as the election campaign currently unfolding back home. Finally he felt comfortable enough to pull down his hood and remove his glasses. Turning toward Neville, the man now revealed to be That Other Jimmy, the Kennyite secretary of state, asked if anyone would mind if the TV were switched to the news station. There were no objections (save a cry of "Crivens!" from one of the players on the team Leo was supporting), and soon a sexy blonde news anchor appeared on screen:

"...and a surreal affair in Omigodtheykilledkenny, where the country's most dangerous lunatics are not locked up in an asylum where they belong, but compete against each for high office. Good evening everyone, I'm Chastity Brewer from KBC News. We begin tonight in Paradise City, in the midst of a presidential campaign, aptly dubbed 'Campaign of the Crazies XXIV,' where the Conservative nominee, who is of Chinese descent, addresses the most recent controversy regarding 'racism' in a public health crisis..."

[cut to a video clip of none other than the irascible Captain Chiang, bearing an annoyed look on her face:]

"If they want to call it the 'Chinese virus,' I really don't give a shit, but I demand royalties! And don't worry about my safety; if anyone tries to harass me about the pandemic, I have ways of dealing with them!"

[she pulls out a her usual stack of sharpened reeds, flashing an evil grin]

"...Meanwhile, her opponent, Liberal candidate and infamous purveyor of socialism, Assemblyman Vernel Sandberg, continued to occupy his usual street corner to rant and rave about crackpot stories, like how climate change is going to destroy the world in 12 years..."

[as she speaks, footage is shown of a cranky old man with a bald pate, shouting at random strangers as passers-by piteously drop bills and change into a mug sitting on the sidewalk]

"...Today he proposed that the government seize all captive bats in populated areas and redistribute them evenly among the public for consumption, so that infections would occur in a fairer fashion..."

[cut back to Sandberg:]

"It's time that the MILLIONAIRES AND BILLIONAIRES receive their fair share of infections, along with the 99% who have been the hardest hit!"

"...Outrage continues to boil over Captain Chiang's alleged waterboarding of journalists over questions about the proposed Chiang Border Wall (which is actually being built by Omigodtheykilledkenny's neighbors, in response to Chiang's extreme nationalist rhetoric, to keep the Kennyites in). Campaign surrogates moved to reassure the press that their fears were groundless, and their complaints moronic..."

[cut to professional talking head Erica Dolittle, standing in front of a fan of reporters' arms holding out microphones and other recording devices:]

"Look, idiots, it's no secret that all of you are professional stupid people, whose only task is to annoy hardworking politicos like us with catty, uninformed and barely relevant questions that irritate the public and waste everyone's time, and quite frankly you deserve everything you get."

"...All of this just days after the vice-presidential debate between Conservative former Governor Justin Grey and Dutch teen climate activist Brunhilde Bokk, with pundits widely awarding the showdown to Bokk, for answering nearly every comment from Grey with a powerful rejoinder..."

[cut to Bokk angrily screaming "HOW DARE YOU????!!!!"]

"...Observers also slammed Grey's response to a query from an audience member about how she had just seen 'The Day After Tomorrow,' and if he was indifferent to the struggle of the next generation, who will surely drown and/or freeze to death due to the inevitability of the events portrayed in the film..."

[cut to Grey speaking smugly from the debate stage: "Of course I care about children! Haven't you seen my girlfriend?" He indicates an attractive 19-year-old blonde in the front row, who energetically jumps up in her short skirt and blows him a kiss. She barely has time to reclaim her seat before Bokk shrieks once again, "HOW DARE YOU????!!!!!"]

"...In other news, the most violent hurricane on record threatens to wipe out all life as we know it in the West Pacific, as officials warn..."

Sighing, Jimmy turned back to Neville. "You can mute it, I guess." He took another healthy gulp from his pint as he quietly prayed that the next president would agree to continue to station him in the relative peace and calm of the World Assembly, because no matter who won the race, he or she would surely make life in the Federal Republic a living hell for the next five years.

Wild cheers went up from among the tiny footballers as the winecork rolled between the goal markers and stopped on Jimmy's tree-fiddy note. He managed a smile. At least he was betting on the right team.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

From his normal spot near the Shrine of the Manifestation, the EVILEST talking skull in the Festering Snakepit looked with approval on Captian Chiang's press briefing, his eves glowing a malevolent red...
That woman warms the very cockles of my blackened soul. If only I had a body, she could ditch that loser Susa. With her ruthlessness, and my capacity for UNRELENTING MALICE AND EVIL WE WOULD RULE THE WORLD!!!!! MYUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

At this point Murray laughs so hard he accidentally rolls off of the bar and crashes onto the floor.

Owwww! Could somebody please pick me up?.....anybody?.....HELLLOOOO!

[Groot]

The little car, however, makes it only as far as the threshold, as it bumps into Groot. "I am Groot," says Groot, an exclamation more of surprise than pain. Groot looks down and notices his old friend, Herby. "I am Groot!" he bellows as he puts a branch around the car, having previously thought he would never see her again. "I am Groot?" he asks, motioning toward the bar. He nods in Neville's direction, and waves the car back inside. "I am Groot."

Ooh sorry there bub wait wait wait WAIT it’s you! Hey you ol’ Grootie Patootie, how ya been? Okay okay yeah, let’s have a drink. You know what to do. Soooooo anyway whatcha been up to for the past ehhhhh what is it a year or so?

"I am Groot," says Groot, as he takes the bottle of gas dryer additive and adds it to Herby's gas tank. He then takes his bottle of birch beer, and struggles for a moment as he tries to pry the bottlecap off with his sizable twigs.

At this point Murray laughs so hard he accidentally rolls off of the bar and crashes onto the floor.

Owwww! Could somebody please pick me up?.....anybody?.....HELLLOOOO!

Groot notices the skull rocking on the floor. He picks it up, looks at it for a moment, then at the bottle of birch beer, and uses the skull's eye socket as a bottle opener. "I am Groot," he says in gratitude to the skull, then places it back in its rightful place on the bar. He turns back to his friend, the Beetle, and continues his conversation. "I am Groot."

[The New Sicilian State]

From his normal spot near the Shrine of the Manifestation, the EVILEST talking skull in the Festering Snakepit looked with approval on Captian Chiang's press briefing, his eves glowing a malevolent red...
That woman warms the very cockles of my blackened soul. If only I had a body, she could ditch that loser Susa. With her ruthlessness, and my capacity for UNRELENTING MALICE AND EVIL WE WOULD RULE THE WORLD!!!!! MYUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

At this point Murray laughs so hard he accidentally rolls off of the bar and crashes onto the floor.

Owwww! Could somebody please pick me up?.....anybody?.....HELLLOOOO!

Crawford:That's a little concerning, don't you think, Thomas? Thomas? Ah, I've lost him again. I'm afraid I don't recognize you, sir, or anyone in here, truly. What's this about unrelenting malice and evil?

[Murray the Evil Skull]

From his normal spot near the Shrine of the Manifestation, the EVILEST talking skull in the Festering Snakepit looked with approval on Captian Chiang's press briefing, his eves glowing a malevolent red...
That woman warms the very cockles of my blackened soul. If only I had a body, she could ditch that loser Susa. With her ruthlessness, and my capacity for UNRELENTING MALICE AND EVIL WE WOULD RULE THE WORLD!!!!! MYUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

At this point Murray laughs so hard he accidentally rolls off of the bar and crashes onto the floor.

Owwww! Could somebody please pick me up?.....anybody?.....HELLLOOOO!

Crawford:That's a little concerning, don't you think, Thomas? Thomas? Ah, I've lost him again. I'm afraid I don't recognize you, sir, or anyone in here, truly. What's this about unrelenting malice and evil?

From his place on the bar where Groot placed him after subjecting the EVILEST Talking Skull in the WA to the indignity of becoming a bottle opener, Murray eyes glowed a malevolent red as he answered the newcomer...
"Greetings Mortal, I am Murray and I am....HRAAACK! "
At this point Murray shook violently and horked up a bottle cap.
"Sorry about that, Mortal. Where was I? Oh yes...MYUHAHAHAHAHA! I am Murray the evil talking skull. I am the harbinger of your doom, and the infernal hosts will cheer as I stride through the gates of Hell with your head on a pike!"
At this point the Kennyite a few spaces down guffaws and snorts,
"Stride?"
"Alright, ROLL, roll through the Gates of Hell, must you ruin everything...SIGH! "
Murray pauses to compose himself,
"Sorry about that Mortal, I've been having a bad day. Anyway my name is Murray. I'm the EVILEST talking skull in the Festering Snakepit and the Greeter/Bouncer for the Antarctic Oasis. I also sing with my Country and Western Band aswell as various entrepenurial endeavors. Maurading bands of Scandinavian Berserker Pillagers don't come cheap. I have a great capacity for formulating chaos, misery, and UNRELENTING EVIL. Unfortunately without a body I don't have the means to carry it out...that is unfortunate for me, but very fortunate for the lessser beings out there,like you Mortals."

[The New Sicilian State]

From his place on the bar where Groot placed him after subjecting the EVILEST Talking Skull in the WA to the indignity of becoming a bottle opener, Murray eyes glowed a malevolent red as he answered the newcomer...
"Greetings Mortal, I am Murray and I am....HRAAACK! "
At this point Murray shook violently and horked up a bottle cap.
"Sorry about that, Mortal. Where was I? Oh yes...MYUHAHAHAHAHA! I am Murray the evil talking skull. I am the harbinger of your doom, and the infernal hosts will cheer as I stride through the gates of Hell with your head on a pike!"
At this point the Kennyite a few spaces down guffaws and snorts,
"Stride?"
"Alright, ROLL, roll through the Gates of Hell, must you ruin everything...SIGH! "
Murray pauses to compose himself,
"Sorry about that Mortal, I've been having a bad day. Anyway my name is Murray. I'm the EVILEST talking skull in the Festering Snakepit and the Greeter/Bouncer for the Antarctic Oasis. I also sing with my Country and Western Band aswell as various entrepenurial endeavors. Maurading bands of Scandinavian Berserker Pillagers don't come cheap. I have a great capacity for formulating chaos, misery, and UNRELENTING EVIL. Unfortunately without a body I don't have the means to carry it out...that is unfortunate for me, but very fortunate for the lessser beings out there,like you Mortals."

John stares at the skull for a little bit.

Crawford: Do you mind if I give my take? I believe your drive and need to become the evilest talking skull in this... 'festering snakepit' is the result of a fragile ego driven by a massive inferiority complex. You cannot walk, do not have a real complexion... so what is there to do? You grow indignant with a sapient world more capable of anything than you are, and your indignation has developed into a "imagine if I actually had legs" sort of mindset in which you can safely spit any terrible, evil phrases without repercussion, because your words can have no reciprocation.

Greene: I think he's demon spawn...

Crawford: Oh there you are!

[WA Kitty Kops]

*snip*

A dark grey kitten that looks about just old enough to be without his mom, meows at someone's feet for long enough to be picked up and placed on the bar counter, from where it takes a neat gravity-defying leap - kittens are mostly spring-loaded fur - and lands on Herby's hood. Looking slightly confused about where to look to look a car in the eye, it then sits down on the warm hood.

"Hey rumbly-car," it says, "I's the new Head Inshkpekshuuner of teh Kitty Kops organishuun. I's Pomppaduur, but yous can calls me Pomppu. You's listed as one of teh peoples whos should be contacatced about teh passing of teh kitty you knew of as Chief Inshpekshuuner. Black kitty with green eyes. Is yous that car?"

[Groot]

A dark grey kitten that looks about just old enough to be without his mom, meows at someone's feet for long enough to be picked up and placed on the bar counter

"I am Groot," says Groot as gently he picks up the kitten at his feet and places it on the bar counter. He is about to order a dish of cream from the bartender, but:

from where it takes a neat gravity-defying leap - kittens are mostly spring-loaded fur - and lands on Herby's hood.

Groot shrugs, as picking up the kitten's bar tab appears to have become Herby's responsibility now.

[Vega Naothia]

So give Ari an IC answer, he'd love to hear it. And, I thought the guy in green was named Lotusk. Or is that a slur of some sort?

OOC: That was an accident, but now it is backstory. Lotusk is now a common West Wallenburgian name, like Nguyen is for the Vietnamese. It is a mild derogative when used to refer to someone without that surname.

IC: "Well, I'm not sure how they work, but the Neoswedes lended us the portal when we joined the World Assembly. It's done a great job, and has reduced travel time to and from Wallenburg by weeks."

Ari: "Please don't do this to me and my family."
Darius: "I warned you not to return heathen", he shouts slashing her throat

[Sierra Lyricalia]

OOC: That was an accident, but now it is backstory. Lotusk is now a common West Wallenburgian name, like Nguyen is for the Vietnamese. It is a mild derogative when used to refer to someone without that surname.

IC: "Well, I'm not sure how they work, but the Neoswedes lended us the portal when we joined the World Assembly. It's done a great job, and has reduced travel time to and from Wallenburg by weeks."

Ari: "Please don't do this to me and my family."
Darius: "I warned you not to return heathen", he shouts slashing her throat

All OOC.

1. This is the textbook definition of godmodding/godmoding. You can do basically what you like with your own characters, but nobody else's.

2. Holy shit, you're responding to something literally 232 (two hundred and thirty two) pages ago. We've moved on from those events and in fact Ari is not on the grounds of the World Assembly HQ anymore. Try to keep up.

3. The ACME weapons nullifiers rendered your character's knife into cheap styrofoam or some such the instant he tried to use it. This one isn't necessarily your fault, as the OP's link to the Barlordian Conventions is kaput [EDIT: updated link], but cursory examination of the rest of the thread would have clued you in.

4. Ari is male (even if, uh, less than fully functional through no fault of his own).

All that said, we try to be forgiving of newcomers. Would you like to try again in response to something more recent (say, within the last page or two)?

[The Imperial State]

the proposed Chiang Border Wall (which is actually being built by Omigodtheykilledkenny's neighbors, in response to Chiang's extreme nationalist rhetoric, to keep the Kennyites in).
Wild cheers went up from among the tiny footballers as the winecork rolled between the goal markers and stopped on Jimmy's tree-fiddy note. He managed a smile. At least he was betting on the right team.

In the back, Jonathan Dowecheatemnhow, the official WA diplomat from The Imperial State, one of Kenny's less agreeable neighbors, shouted "Hey Kenny boys! The wall just got 10 feet higher! Haha!"

[The Palentine]

the proposed Chiang Border Wall (which is actually being built by Omigodtheykilledkenny's neighbors, in response to Chiang's extreme nationalist rhetoric, to keep the Kennyites in).
Wild cheers went up from among the tiny footballers as the winecork rolled between the goal markers and stopped on Jimmy's tree-fiddy note. He managed a smile. At least he was betting on the right team.

In the back, Jonathan Dowecheatemnhow, the official WA diplomat from The Imperial State, one of Kenny's less agreeable neighbors, shouted "Hey Kenny boys! The wall just got 10 feet higher! Haha!"

The good but unwholesome Senator chimed in, "Thats kind of Shortsighted on your government's part old bean. We in the Palentine have found more profitable and lucrative way of restriicting Kennyites...and many other nations in the AO. Along evey major highway point of entery into the Palentine, we set up Tourist Traps. You know gaudy, kitschy, tacky and cheesy places for tourists to spend all their money buying fireworks, tacky souveniers and such. We found the cheesier the better for Kennyites, they're kinda programmed for that sort of thing by their own nations's companies. We even post billboards advertising the places all along the highways starting at the Kennyite Border and space them out every 15 miles or so to condition them to stop."

Sen Sulla takes sip from his drink before continuing,
"You might want to talk to Murray over there on the Bar. The Murrayland Theme Park, Truck Stop and Fireworks Emporium we franchised from him has brought in huge amounts of revenue, even after paying the franchising fee. Its more or less paid for itself within the first 6 months."

[The Imperial State]

In the back, Jonathan Dowecheatemnhow, the official WA diplomat from The Imperial State, one of Kenny's less agreeable neighbors, shouted "Hey Kenny boys! The wall just got 10 feet higher! Haha!"

The good but unwholesome Senator chimed in, "Thats kind of Shortsighted on your government's part old bean. We in the Palentine have found more profitable and lucrative way of restriicting Kennyites...and many other nations in the AO. Along evey major highway point of entery into the Palentine, we set up Tourist Traps. You know gaudy, kitschy, tacky and cheesy places for tourists to spend all their money buying fireworks, tacky souveniers and such. We found the cheesier the better for Kennyites, they're kinda programmed for that sort of thing by their own nations's companies. We even post billboards advertising the places all along the highways starting at the Kennyite Border and space them out every 15 miles or so to condition them to stop."

Sen Sulla takes sip from his drink before continuing,
"You might want to talk to Murray over there on the Bar. The Murrayland Theme Park, Truck Stop and Fireworks Emporium we franchised from him has brought in huge amounts of revenue, even after paying the franchising fee. Its more or less paid for itself within the first 6 months."

Ambassador Dowecheatemnhow raised his drink in acknowledgement of the good but unwholesome Senator. "Senator, I respect your nation's way of securing its borders. However, we don't trust those Kennyites to even be let in. To be fair, we don't trust or like foreigners in general. In fact about 40 years ago we actually tried to vacuum seal ourselves away from y'all! Unfortunately it didn't work, so we still have to interact with the unwashed hordes who dare to breathe while not being a subject of the Crown."

[The Palentine]

"Point taken, Ambassador. We in the Palentine have found that there is another fringe benefit of letting Kennyites into the country. After emptying their pockets of most of their cash at our border tourist traps, most find they need jobs to get money to return home. Its no secret that the Palentine has the largest amount of Mad Scientists per capita than any other nation in the AO. Its also well known that Palentine citizens, unless they're desperate, suicidal, or adrenaline junkies will not take the job of lab assistant. Sparks and regular Mad Scientists go through scores of lab assistants like crazy.", replied the good but unwholesome Senator before pausing to take a drink.
He continued,
"Thankfuly the Kennyites are just dumb enough to be quite willing to take those jobs, plus after living in a country with periodic bouts of Anarchy and frequent rioting...with the occasional XTap attempting to blow them to Kingdom Come gives them excellent reflexes and survival instincts. The job pays very well too, of couse that is offset by the very real chance of being eaten by a Mad's lab experiment, disintegrated by a death ray, zapped by a Tesla Coil, getting atomized, and /or running for one's life from a torch and pitchfork wielding mob of angy villagers"
Finishing his drink he then said,
"The survivors go home, talk about the easy money they made, and the circle starts all over. More revenue and a fresh crop of prospective Lab assistants to keep the Sparks and Mads happy. Plus the occasional successful inventions also benefit the nation, although most of them are impractical...impressive, but impractical."
The reprobate then orders another round of drinks for his table from one of the waitresses.

[Wee free feegles]

Meahwhile the feegle's impromptu rugby game had degenerated into a general brawl with fists and feet a-flying peppered with shouts of "Crivens, I just kicked mah own haid". It soon settled down and the feegles began to conspire while giving glances at the patrons. Finally a small group broke off from the rest and began singing to draw away the patron's attentions to the various bowls of peanuts and pretzels at the bar counter and tables.

"When a felon's not engaged in his employment( his employment)
Or maturing his felonious little plans(little plans)
His capacity for innocent enjoyment(' cent enjoyment)
Is just as great as any honest man's(honest man's)
Our feelings we with difficulty smother('culty smother)
When constabulary duty is to be done(to be done)
Taking one consideration with another(with another)
A policeman's lot is not a happy one(happy one)
Ahhhhhhhhhh
When constabulary duties to be done, to be done
A policeman's lot is not a happy one!"

Meanwhile the rest of the troop spread out and began to make their way stealthily towards the various bowls of salty snack goodness across the bar.

[The Palentine]

OOC: page 3? Can't have that.

*BUMP!*

[The Palentine]

The doors to the bar opened and a 7 foot tall, 350 lb gorilla wearing a suit and bowler and smoking a cigar entered the bar. The patron stared as he walked to the bar and said to Jimmy,

"Barkeep, I'm Philo Simeon. I've just been appointed to the Palentine's WA office. I'll have a Blue Marlin."

At this point the patrons breathed a sigh of relief and realized they were mistaken. Since everybody knows gorillas can't talk, they obviously mistook the newcomer for a rather large, hairy and muscular human.

The "gorilla" then sat on one of the barstools and started watching the TV while nursing his drink.

[Wallenburg]

Ogenbond notices what can only be a gorilla in a man suit entering the bar and ordering a drink. His eyebrow barely raises as he sets down his papers to get a better look at the newcomer. "Sir, that suit doesn't seem cut for your measurements. Everything looks too small, in fact. Perhaps you need a new tailor?"