Terrorists strike Oslostopenhagen!

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

It was new years day, 2019, in Oslostopenhagen. Large amounts of people gathered to watch the Hallelujah Gun (Trademark) fire when the new year arrived. And then, a bomb exploded in Section C, row 2 of the area. All in row 2 were killed, and others in section C seriously injured. As if that wasn't bad enough, 5 seconds after the 1st bomb, a bomb exploded on the other side in Section F, row 3. This row was dead set in the middle of the section. The aftermath of the attacks, you may ask? 20 deaths, 91 seriously injured, 150 having minor injuries.

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

A investigation into the terrorist attack was immediately launched. Via intensive security camera findings and home raids, 3 suspects were identified, all of Tulenian decent. After intensive interrogation of the suspects, they were found to be hired by the Tulenian government (maybe). After the interrogations and hands being chopped off, they were executed via artillery squad. After this, the NDS parliament unanimously decided to declare war on Tulenia.

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DECLARATION OF WAR ON THE EMPIRE OF TULENIA
9:41 PM NORDIC TIME

AFTER FINDING INTENSIVE EVIDENCE OF A TULENIAN ATTACK UPON NORDIC SOLDIER, VIA A TERRORIST ATTACK, THE UNITED KINGDOM OF NORWAY DENMARK AND SWEDEN HAS CEASED DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH THE EMPIRE OF TULENIA. THE UNITED KINGDOM OF NORWAY DENMARK AND SWEDEN IS IN A STATE OF WAR WITH THE EMPIRE OF TULENIA

[Tulenia]

Tulenia has declared that they were not hired, as with serbia in ww1 this is a false flag, Tulenia has noted that IN TULENAIN LAW hiring any form of assassin is an offence punishable with the harshest of legal punishments, to reaffirm that we didn't do it a full investigation has been launched into anyone and anyone who was involved in this

The war has been responded to with a proper "we didn't do it so we will not fight you" letter and the international community has been called in to condemn NDS for said war

[CHUCK NORRlS]

Chuck Norris has received notice of an unfortunate terrorist attack in Oslostopenhagen. He chooses, however, not to take any immediate action. This is because Norris suspects foul play and wants to make sure that He is taking the proper course of actions. He sits back in His office and orders the mobilization of the IGNORE Cannon fleet.

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

The king of NDS orders 10 carrier pigeons to be sent to the Tulenian Capital to demand payment for the terrorist attacks, even though we have not fully proven the attacks were tulenian.

[Tulenia]

Tulenia refuses to pay any more then the cost of the attack, any more and it cannot be done

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

After careful thinking and planning, operation cato is go. We would strap small explosives onto dogs, and putting them in the bomb bays of bombers. 10 bombers are set aside for this operation, and 600 cats. The idea is that the cats would explode on impact, injuring anyone in the impact area, and splattering blood everywhere in the capital. The bombers would be launched, knowing tulenia is providing no resistance, All 600 cats are airedropped into the capital, with the aftermath being unknown.

[Tulenia]

Even though dropping explosive cats is a good idea in concept, the small explosives killed 0 people, injured 12 and destroyed 2,000$ of property, the mess is cleaned in 3 days and an eas isn't even released.

oh and in response Tulenia fires confetti shells at NDS, leaving cities and airfields just covered (note they airburst)

[The Union of Federative Soviet Republics]

The Union of Federative Soviet Republics sees this attack on a (Maybe?) nearby nation and decides to send peacekeeping forces in Oslostopenhagen, which consist of 200k Soviet Soldiers.

[Tulenia]

(i edited mine)
Tulenia is happy that these soviets are helping

the joke war continues though, this time Tulenia brings 4,000 rats into NDS

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

The IKEA militia, seeing the peacekeeping force as a threat, uses it's modern weapons and BuildandInvade (Trademark) weaponized furniture to attack the soviet force in an urban enviroment. Noting the poor soviet economy and weak military forces of the soviets, with the IKEA miltia being funded by the NDS military, this attack should be a breeze.

[The Union of Federative Soviet Republics]

The IKEA militia, seeing the peacekeeping force as a threat, uses it's modern weapons and BuildandInvade (Trademark) weaponized furniture to attack the soviet force

Initially wanting to help Norway Denmark and Sweden, The Soviet Peacekeeping force fires upon the militia, The Soviet Modern Force consisting of a shit ton of armored vehicles and soldiers. The furniture is essentially useless against Soviet™ Steel and is destroyed. The Soviet forces manages to seize control of the Northeastern sector of the city.

[Tulenia]

(and this is when the joke war expands)
Tulenia hits them with the flying landmines, let me explain! we air drop 15,000 landmines into major cities, but the landmines explode with just enough force to cover someone in a maple syrup/honey concoction! this way no one gets hurt and tons of people get covered, if this works these will expand and be done over and over again, this is to hit them while the soviets invade

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

You russian should of learned in Finland

The Nordic military is mobilized, along with the special forces. We extract mustard, and use it in a gas. We also use a gas form of anesthetic in this literal mustard gas. Special forces would begin chucking literal mustard gas canisters into the soviet formations

[The Union of Federative Soviet Republics]

Thanks to the Tulenian air attack, the Soviets push father into the Oslostopenhagen, eventually seizing control of the entire city, enclosing it. More Soviet transport aircraft come into the city's airport to deliver a few of the Union's secret weapons to help seize control of Denmark and the southern coast of Sweden.

[Tulenia]

The war expands to Tulenia bombing NDS cities, airfields and hospitals with napalm; sending 150,000 soldiers to support the soviets and the landmines turn into VERY HIGH EXPLOSIVE landmines

[The Union of Federative Soviet Republics]

You russian should of learned in Finland

The Nordic military is mobilized, along with the special forces. We extract mustard, and use it in a gas. We also use a gas form of anesthetic in this literal mustard gas. Special forces would begin chucking literal mustard gas canisters into the soviet formations

Because of the Soviets already being prepared with gas masks and it's advantage of better gear, the Gas is ineffective. Meanwhile in the Northwest of the Union, units stationed there make their way into Lapland and Northern Norway.

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

We also send in 150 of our new stridsvagan-124, a new tank developed from the stridsvagan 122, developed from the leopard tank, with a 125mm smoothbore gun with the same armor from the 122 variant, with 1600 hp. We also send 170k regular forces and 92 stridsvagan 122s to attack the invading soviet army in Lapland

(better gear, with that epic economy of yours )

[Tulenia]

An airdrop has begun, sending a total of 7,000 special forces Tulenian soldiers to deal with the IKEA Militia, they and the 150,000 Tulenian soldiers are armed with the following: 5 TN51 Stick grenades,1 BH-2 rifle, a gas mask, an anti tank gun and 2 deployable landmines. following this is a massive bombing run to scare NDS and most importantly HELP. THE. SOVIETS.

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

We use our tactical nukes, special nukes designed for tactical use. We launch 7 of them at the soviet forces in northern norway and lapland

[Norway Denmark and Sweden]

We offer a ceasefire to the tulenians, seeing this as a useless war.

(ooc: Soviet guy, compare our military and economy, our military is about 2-3x better then yours when compared in the rankings section, so no way in hell do you have better gear)

[Tulenia]

Tulenia agrees

[-Astoria]

*tik tik tik* 'In this conflict, we shall support Tulenia.'

[CHUCK NORRlS]

Chuck Norris is also inclined to support Tulenia. However, He refuses further action until the IGNORE Cannon fleet can be deployed.

[Tulenia]

TULENIA HAS DECLARED PEACE BETWEEN THEM AND NDS