Independent Associations Championship 8 [IC]

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independents sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

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Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

OH, I DO BELIEVE THAT WE ARE IN A SPOT OF BOTHER

Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Football Fallacies with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. Title says it all, really. In the Independents Cup, the women's team are currently struggling to get off the ground. They currently have a grand total of zero points (zero points!) against their name, and frankly I cannot say if it's going to improve anytime soon. I wouldn't say that we're doing bad though; that is just patently untrue. What we do have a problem is the fact that we have so far not yet been able to close out these games. Yes, I am specifically talking about the game against Reçueçn. That was a game for the taking for us but we started off slow and now, we the team and we the fans are paying the price.

As far as goals go, we are definitely not lacking, both in terms of scored and conceded. Kelly McGinnis currently has a brace to her name and Erin Jensdottir just scored that absolute banger of a free kick against the hosts earlier. We are still leaking goals, but at this point we are all growing ever number to it. But it is still a problem, and right now we are very much getting in trouble once again because of that. A lot of these goals—no, all of these goals were and are avoidable; ergo, they should not have happened in the first place. Phil Thomas's goal would have been easily avoided if Catarina Soler hadn't been left for dead by Queen Yarnall. And then there was Debbie Riddles' stupid tackle on Steffi Tucker that gave away the penalty that tied the game at 2-2. And if the sun hadn't broken through the clouds at the exact moment that Oona Kerry slipped in between the center backs then I'm sure that Steph Bryan would have saved that. I'm very sure.

And don't get me started with the game against Reçueçn. Both of those goals were flukes, and any other time they would not have gone in. Any other day, any other way, and Hippolyte Lavigne would have sent the ball into the stands, not just underneath the crossbar and the left post. And Franky Adams had no business, no business at all, scoring from near the halfway line.[1] That's just unbelievable. Somebody get in touch with the mods of the Matrix; I think there's been a glitch with their football subroutine. Or at least I think that's how you tell this to the IT guys. I don't know.

I mean, I guess you could say that Abanhfleft's performances at the Independents Cup is a microcosm of what's been going on with the team for quite some time now. Sure, the men's and women's teams are playing different styles under different coaches but it kind of feels like there's a pervading sense of "why bother" going through the teams at the moment. It's kind of like they've lost their sense of self-belief. It's like they're all saying "what's the point of playing well in this competition if someone else is going to win it anyway?" Which, I have to say, is a very dangerous line of thinking indeed. It's edging dangerously close to the thought processes of those conspiracy nutters who believe that there's an all-encompassing plot out there to deny Abanhfleft a world championship of any sort. And I can say to all of those nutters that you are all crazy. We've won championships in lacrosse, basketball, gridiron. So what if we don't win any trophy in football? It's a very competitive field out there; if anything, anyone who wins anything in football is very lucky indeed. Or they've got all of the best players that money could buy.

It's worth noting that the current generation of Fleftic players have pretty much grown up in an environment where they were exposed, or had the opportunity to be exposed to the sort of stuff that can maybe implant the message that no matter what we do, we'll never be good enough to win anything. Oh, God, now I'm sounding like one of those very nutters I'm trying to discredit. Maybe it's a good idea to stay away from this topic in the near future.

But in all honesty though, a lot of these players would have been kids when the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft" hit the peak of their terroristic activities, which we all know culminated in the kidnapping of the Yeezie ambassador to Qasden. They probably would have kidnapped the Yeezie ambassador to Abanhfleft if they could, if not for the fact that there was no Yeezie ambassador to Abanhfleft back in 2018 or thereabouts. There was a sort of liaison office in Wanda Island or somewhere near it but nothing like a consulate or an embassy. I digress though. The point I was trying to get to in this paragraph is that our players today, they were pretty much kids when all this stuff with the "Real Fans" was going on, and it would undoubtedly have stuck in their minds as they were growing up.

I guess this probably explains why it's the outsiders who are pretty much leading our teams at the moment. By outsiders I'm talking about the players who were naturalized so they could qualify to play for our team. Remember the Alternative Football Program by Heinrich Wurzmann, the one where washed-up stars and players who had potential but weren't really in the radar of the big teams got to play for the national team, incidentally at the Independents Cup? Well, it was through him that we got the likes of Guildenstern Cardew, Apolloscleiyali, Stephanie Winter-Slaughter, and Abigail Papadiamantopoulos and gave sportswriters all over the country nightmares to last a lifetime. God, he had a penchant for long names, didn't he? And so far, they've all been pretty much worth their weight in salt, or gold, or whatever. And they've all been pretty vocal about their displeasure with the way their teammates have been ready and willing to give up the ghost once they concede.

And what of our other recruits from Anglatia, and arguably the two most controversial selections to the Lady Revolutionaries in recent memory? Yes, I'm talking about Erin Jensdottir and Britt Hanokssen. There's no denying that Erin is a premier football player. She's got pretty much everything going for her... except for her little "addiction". Yes, it's no secret that for pretty much her early football career, up to and including her breaking into the Hunsen Loggers first team, Erin had a narcotic problem. It's basically the reason why she was overlooked by scouts, not only within Anglatia but also throughout the multiverse. Even the one and only Matt Cave, the "Spotter of Stars" himself, barely gave little Erin a second glance upon learning about her "problem". And then there was that whole brouhaha about faking their deaths to get away from some debts from the Anglatian mafia or some such and getting signed for the seventh division on false names and papers. But Erin's still getting the job done for Rosenpfelblatz, and I haven't heard a single word about her "condition" so she must be getting some help for it, and good and successful help at that.

And of course we cannot talk about Erin without also mentioning Britt. Britt Hanokssen-Hanks, as she is registered in the SFA database because of aforementioned faking death brouhaha; just Britt for short; nicknamed "the Bulldog" for her sheer never-say-die attitude. They say that Britt and Erin are pretty much a package deal; where one goes, the other follows. It's no secret that they're in a relationship, although I have to say that I find it interesting that there's been no gossip or rumours about them having any sort of row or quarrel, so maybe their love trumps all else that's come their way. That being said, I haven't also heard any rumours about the two of them getting married, which is very much a legal thing over here in our country (yes, Packie, I'm fecking talking to you) so make of that what you will. Anyway, the point I've been trying to get to is that Britt has been doing pretty much all of the work in the final quarter of an hour of the game egging her teammates on and going for both balls and shots at goal and trying to get the fans back on the team's side. It's been a bit of a fruitless effort so far given the results, but it's also far from thankless. Britt has long been criticized for being a waste of space in the national team with what she brings (or actually doesn't) to the table, but her efforts to stir this team back into action has not gone unnoticed by the fans. Even I, a Markovskite through and through, can only appreciate the heart and effort that this salt miner[2] has brought to the Lady Revolutionaries.

The main point of what I've been trying to say, really, is that because of our absolutely horrible start to this Independents Cup, we've left ourselves no room for error at all to pull this back from the brink and make something out of this absolutely horrible situation. Three games left to go, and maximum points is the only thing that will get people seeing this thing as being somewhat of a success. Anything less and you might as well not have bothered qualifying for the Independents Cup anyway. And the rest of the team has to pick up the slack. Erin, Britt, Stephanie (both Bryan and Winter-Slaughter), Kelly, Elene; they can't win anything by themselves. This has to be a team effort. There is simply no other way. And that is the end of my TED Talk; thank you all for coming. XOXO from Graham....

(OOC Note 1: For Franky Adams' halfway line goal, look up Charlie Adam's goal against Chelsea.)

(OOC Note 2: "Salt miner" is a slightly derogatory term used by Markovskites to refer to citizens and residents of Rosenpfelblatz, which is located on the edge of a massive salt basin and was founded as a village for the salt harvesters working on that particular part of the basin.)

[Omerica]

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Marie’s Doughnuts: the pastry shop betting against the Incorrigibles
By Jacques St-Pierre

As Omerica powered to a second Independents Cup victory with a comfortable victory over HUElavia, a doughnut shop in Southavon has announced a special giveaway: customers will win one free doughnut for each goal the Incorrigibles score during the group stage. The catch: patrons can only win the baked goods if they correctly guess exactly how many goals the Incorrigibles score.

Marie’s Doughnuts is a local store in Bristol, which first opened its doors in 1982. For nearly 40 years, the doughnut outlet has been serving the Westavonian capital a unique assortment of hot, sweet, and savoury treats, with their pretzels and cinnamon rolls considered must-haves for visitors to the city. “We’ve been supporting the team for as long as we remember and we thought it would be a bit nice to have a bit of fun while watching the tournament,” store owner Marie Dechamps told the Blog. “We’ve always thrived on community engagement and what better way to do it than with something virtually everyone in the city enjoys.”

Marie is not the only local shop owner offering prizes based on the Incorrigibles’ performance. A nearby bookstore will offer an extra special prize if the national team retain their title, a signed copy of George Kostas’s book No One Scores: How I Survived My Young Age In Football. “The big question is how we get the manager in to sign it,” owner Michel Bernadeschi said, taking a break to laugh. “He probably has better things to do than sign a book in Bristol, but maybe we can get him across the river to do it. I don’t imagine we’ll have to honour it, but it would be fun to meet the man.”

The offerings aren’t limited to Bristol, either. Killarney in Northavon is also seeing local businesses get in on the action, with a pizzeria offering a free pie for each Omerican win at the tournament. And across the river in Kostas’s hometown of Falconbarrow, a local restaurant is offering the manager free dinner each week if he can retain Omerica’s title.

The trend, though, can be traced back to Marie’s, who ran the same promotion during Omerica’s title-winning campaign in Drawkland, where the Incorrigibles racked up fourteen goals—six of which game in the group stage—on their way to the football world’s newest international crown. “We had maybe fifteen people guess correctly then,” Dechamps stated. “We only had to play three group games last time, as opposed to five. But with more games to score goals, there’s also more room for error. We’ll probably end up giving away only a handful more, if that.”

“It’s a good way to get people in the door,” Dechamps stated when asked why the game has come back this year. “Omerica is a football nation at heart and the baked goods are a bonus.”

“We do not comment on the activities of private businesses unless they are directly connected to the interests of the [United Republican Soccer] Federation,” a spokesperson for the URSF told the Blog in a written statement. “As long as the promotions are compliant with federal, republican and local laws—including intellectual property laws—then they are permissible and the Federation cannot and will not take any action in regards to said promotions.”

IAC Group E as things stand

The national team has been reserved on whether they can retain their crown. “No one has ever defended this title before,” Kostas stated ahead of the tournament, “but if we have the chance, we might as well try to take it.”

“I’m cautious about our hopes,” stalwart captain Red Bolton stated. “Changing managers is a learning process. We’ve had to adjust to a new tactical system very quickly since we’re not together all the time, but we’ve been taking it well and George [Kostas] has been really patient, but firm. This is a wake-up call that we have to be on our toes and perform every single time or we’re toast.”

So far, though, the title defence has raced off to a brilliant start, with the Incorrigibles following up their comprehensive win over Monglechabagd with a comfortable 3–1 victory against HUElavia. The team, who Omerica had faced only twice before, had come off a stinging upset against Barsland and were able to quickly neutralise Jessie Beckett’s early icebreaker with a goal of their own. However, unfortunately for HUElavia, Palmeiro and Falkirk each chalked up their third goals of the tournament to complete a second win at the tournament.

On the table, Group E remains stagnant. Monglechabagd notched their first-ever Independents Cup goal against Ouna, but that would not be enough to avoid defeat at the hands of the African side. Meanwhile, Barsland and Tamgu played out a 1–1, keeping both in the top half of the table, with the former holding on to second spot by virtue of goal difference.

Omerica will stay in Genève for their next two group matches against Tamgu and Ouna before facing current second-place team Barsland at the National Stadium in the capital to finish up the group stage. The group still remains in its early days, with a shock always possible, but the current consensus seems to be that while Omerica won’t win the damn thing, they’ll probably come pretty damn close. ◇

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UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Omerica 3–1 HUElavia
Independent Associations Championship 8 group stage — Matchday Two
Stade de l’Alliance, Genève, Reçueçn
Goalscorers: Jessie Beckett 10’ – George Palmeiro 59’ – Christina Falkirk 80’; Fernando Gonzalez-Rios 19’
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Jet Sneyders – Aristide de Felice – Charity Kayode – Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares – Elise Bianchi – Red Bolton (captain); George Palmeiro – Christina Falkirk – Jessie Beckett

Tamgu v Omerica
Independent Associations Championship 8 group stage — Matchday Three
Stade de l’Alliance, Genève, Reçueçn
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Jet Sneyders – Aristide de Felice – Charity Kayode – Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares – Elise Bianchi – Red Bolton (captain); George Palmeiro – Christina Falkirk – Jessie Beckett

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[Recuecn]

In what was on paper supposed to be the most difficult match in the group stage, the Unicorns made off with a 2-1 win over Abanhfleft, a team that comes in just above the hosts in the Kaze-Progressa Bedistan rankings. The game was an exciting one to be sure. Reçueçn took the lead in the forty-second minute, after managing to fend off the Fleftic side for the first half. It had been a close thing—the RNFT's defense looked sloppier than usual, and Firaut was called on to make several saves in dangerous situations that his back line should have handled.

With the beginning of the second half, the defense let down Firaut again—this time it was Oliver Spencer who found himself out of position and went in for a messy tackle to try to recover the situation. He didn't get any of the ball, but he did get a yellow card. Erin Jendottir took the resulting free kick for Abanhfleft and sent it straight through the wall, putting Firaut on the wrong foot and finding the back of the net from thirty-four yards out.

Tremblay, for the second time in two games, decided not to change anything defensively right away, but rather doubled down on the offense, subbing on Per Tegeler up right. It worked out for him—Reçueçn took the lead back when Franky Adams (a nineteen-year-old, may I remind you!) scored what is certainly the most impressive goal of the tournament this far. From sixty-four yards out, he sent the ball flying towards the Fleftic net, catching Bryan off her line. While Fleftic pundits decried it as a fluke, Reçuecian fans (and Franky himself, in his post-match interview) gave Franky all the credit for seeing the opportunity from so far out and being bold enough to take it.

"I think I'm lucky to have the vision that I have," said Franky, speaking to the camera after the game. "There's not too many other people who would think to even look up at the goal from seventy yards out, let alone be quick enough to grasp the situation, then formulate and execute the correct response. Then, of course, you gotta be able to make the shot, too. Sure, maybe you say it's luck, but when you say I keep getting lucky, what I hear is that I'm good at football and I make and take my own chances."

"Obviously Abanhfleft played great today, so props to them. They put up a good fight and until we took the lead we were pretty concerned about the result. But I think coming out on top has been great for us... good for the team, good for morale... I think we're moving forward on the right foot and I'm looking forward to our next match against Kavagrad."

Apart from the exciting football taking place in Geneva, the other interesting takeaway, as mentioned, was Tremblay's substitution choices and what that means. If this was the first time, we might not think much of it, but it seems that Tremblay has started to find a pattern of making a more aggressive shift. Harold Saunders has begun to see a lot more playing time as Tremblay puts him on for his attacking role in the midfield and takes off Leclair, who's a bit better defensively. Or, when the RNFT has the lead, rather than putting on some fresh defenders, Tremblay will double down and look for more attacking options. This trend is noticeable even from the end of the most recent world cup qualifiers, through the world cup campaign and into the IAC. Has Tremblay's philosophy changed? Is he just trying something new? We'll have to catch up with him to find out.

Previous Match

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Reçueçn 2-1 Abahnfleft
Independent's Cup 8 — Matchday 2
Stade de la Reformation, Genève
Goalscorers: Hippolyte Lavigne 42', Franky Adams 67'
Reçueçn line-up: Gerauld Firaut (c), Leo Beck, Ägidius Heissler, Norman Bright, Oliver Spencer, Luc Pélissier, Harold Saunders, Maynard Hebron, Jean-Baptiste Brochard, Franky Adams, Freeman Lebo
Substitutions: Tegeler for Lebo (64'), Leclair for Saunders (68'), Kayserling for Hebron(74')

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Upcoming Match

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Kavagrad vs Reçueçn
Independent's Cup 8 — Matchday 3
Siegstadion, Zimmerich, Reçueçn
Predicted line-up: Gerauld Firaut (c), Leo Beck, Ägidius Heissler, Norman Bright, Oliver Spencer, Luc Pélissier, Harold Saunders, Maynard Hebron, Hippolyte Lavigne, Ly Nasser, Jean-Baptiste Brochard

[Drawkland]

"I wonder if Ellzidan has been here yet?" Nicole Warren absentmindedly asked.

"I'm sure she'll make a surprise appearance here or there. I wouldn't be surprised if Iarocav pops by for the playoffs." Cam Cross answered, looking at the stadium façade. The ex-Kick Corps players were standing at the gate of National Stadium in Reçueçn. Despite their ejection from the national team by DISC, they still liked to follow the team's route and attend all the games. They were, after all, still Drawkian, and still soccer enthusiasts. And luckily for them, their multi-million dollar contracts made international travel not a problem.

"I figured we would've run into at least someone else from the old Corps the past two games. Like, I dunno, maybe Sarah?" Nicole wondered as they took another step forward in the queue.

"With the size of these stadiums, I'm honestly surprised we haven't. They're so intimate, I like it." Cam replied.

"Reminds me a lot of Avon in that way." While Nicole and Cam hadn't been the closest of friends on the Kick Corps, once the team was dissolved, they actually grew closer together. Both of them had extended stints in the Terranean League before that too dissolved for various issues. When they had the task of decided where else to go, they both just wandered back to the mainland to play in the DLK. Both of their struggles were similar, except Nicole was starting to enter the twilight of her career, even as a standout star. Cam was still chugging, despite being about to pass the median age of Drawkian players.

"For sure. I honestly like both, the intimacy of the smaller venues are still cool, but the massive complexes of Drawkland are always a treat to play in. Going back to the DLK isn't all that bad, really."

"It's really two different worlds," Nicole agreed. By then they had reached the gate, and gave their tickets to the attendant to scan in. Minutes later they were at their seat, and a fair amount of time later the game had begun. The first half went about as they expected it to, with 2 goals scored rapidly against Greater Vakolicci Haven, and a long bit of the new Corps, the Elite Eleven, simply playing around with the ball at midfield rather than making a concerted effort to score.

The previous game had been similar, but instead the E11 decided to keep the foot on the gas all game against Fleuronordicia. They were up 4-0 by halftime, and 7-0 by 60 minutes in. Late in the game they seemed to simply give up on defense, letting the Fleuriques take pot shots on the goalie, Septimus Xander. Fleuronordicia managed to score 2 in this manner before the match was finally called to a close. They got a lot of flak for being disrespectful and unsportsmanlike after the game, so it was clear they were going to go with a more conservative approach. Or at least look like they were.

Cam and Nicole could tell they were mainly bullshitting, though. Like apex predators playing with their live prey before eating it. Throughout the game they'd been complaining about being replaced by the Elite Eleven, but it had simmered down since.

Then, a certain elf seemed to come out of nowhere to shimmy down their row of seats, taking the open seat next to Cam.

The pair jumped, and looked over at the auburn-haired immortal who had sat down with no care in the world. It had been months since they'd last seen her.

"Ellzidan!" Cam exclaimed.

"Hello there you two. Enjoying this 'entertainment'?"

"Not really," Nicole answered quickly, "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? I'm watching the game."

This answer was not satisfactory to either of the girls, but they figured they wouldn't get a straight answer. They had a little more small talk, before watching Roger Apollo take a cross from Ross Hunter and bicycle kick the ball into the top right corner of the goal. At that, the two mortals sighed.

"Once again, they make it look like it's easy. Like they're playing a video game. What even is the deal with those guys?" Cam huffed. "How can they do this now and not in the actual qualifiers? Or in the Cup of Harmony? Or when they were in the WBC? It's unfair."

"It's like they're trying to show us up or something," Nicole agreed.

Ellzidan chuckled, and the two stopped to look at her.

"What's that for?" asked Nicole. Ellzidan simply shrugged in return.

"That's a story for another time," she said mysteriously, then stood up. She waved goodbye to the two players and shifted back down the row to the steps, where she disappeared into the concourse.

"Whatever that means ..." Cam sighed in defeat. This was going to be an annoying cup to watch.

[Recuecn]

I could give you guys Vulfpeck songs to listen to all day every day. (Maybe for another tournament.) But I'm going to try to diversify things a little bit here. So here's a cutoff song that really touches my soul.

CUTOFF

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RESULTS

Group A
Abanhfleft 1–1 Fujai
Kavagrad 0–3 Reçueçn
Britonisea 1–1 The Andromeda Archipelago

Group A                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Reçueçn                             3   3  0  0    9   1  +8    9
2 The Andromeda Archipelago           3   2  1  0    8   6  +2    7
3 Fujai                               3   1  1  1    2   5  −3    4
4 Kavagrad                            3   1  0  2    4   7  −3    3
5 Abanhfleft                          3   0  1  2    4   6  −2    1
  Britonisea                          3   0  1  2    1   3  −2    1

Group B
Greater Vakolicci Haven 2–3 Fleuronordicia
Terre Septentrionale 0–1 Drawkland
Aaaaaa 3–2 Aquatic Mammal

Group B                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Drawkland                           3   3  0  0   12   2 +10    9
2 Aaaaaa                              3   1  2  0    7   6  +1    5
3 Terre Septentrionale                3   1  1  1    5   3  +2    4
4 Fleuronordicia                      3   1  1  1    7  11  −4    4
5 Aquatic Mammal                      3   0  1  2    3   7  −4    1
6 Greater Vakolicci Haven             3   0  1  2    3   8  −5    1

Group C
Sajnur 5–4 The Dragons and Bronies
Bliuji 1–2 Free Republics
The Penguinland 1–2 The People of the Cybyl Tribe

Group C                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Free Republics                      3   3  0  0   10   4  +6    9
2 Sajnur                              3   2  0  1   11  11   0    6
3 Bliuji                              3   1  1  1    4   4   0    4
4 The People of the Cybyl Tribe       3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4
5 The Dragons and Bronies             3   1  0  2    7   8  −1    3
6 The Penguinland                     3   0  0  3    2   6  −4    0

Group D
Kelssek 2–1 Plane of Possibility
Darkmania 3–2 Juvencus
Space 4–4 Widovia

Group D                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kelssek                             3   2  1  0    5   2  +3    7
2 Space                               3   1  2  0    6   4  +2    5
3 Darkmania                           3   1  2  0    4   3  +1    5
4 Widovia                             3   0  3  0    5   5   0    3
5 Plane of Possibility                3   1  0  2    2   4  −2    3
6 Juvencus                            3   0  0  3    3   7  −4    0

Group E
HUElavia 3–0 Monglechabagd
Tamgu 0–3 Omerica
Ouna 1–2 Barsland

Group E                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                             3   3  0  0   10   1  +9    9
2 Barsland                            3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
3 Tamgu                               3   1  1  1    3   5  −2    4
4 HUElavia                            3   1  0  2    5   6  −1    3
  Ouna                                3   1  0  2    4   5  −1    3
6 Monglechabagd                       3   0  0  3    1   9  −8    0

Group F
New Lusitania and the Algarves 1–1 Kurovija
Port Ember 0–2 Squornshelan Remnant States
Lisander 1–0 Silver Beach

Group F                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Lisander                            3   3  0  0    9   4  +5    9
2 Squornshelan Remnant States         3   2  0  1    3   1  +2    6
3 Silver Beach                        3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
4 New Lusitania and the Algarves      3   1  1  1    2   2   0    4
5 Kurovija                            3   0  1  2    3   6  −3    1
6 Port Ember                          3   0  0  3    2   7  −5    0

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
IA8

BACK IN IT
S.R.S. 0-1 New Lusitania
@Arena der Alpen, Heldingen (Att: 19, 904)

New Lusitania continued their long trek forwards in the Alps, at the Arena Der Alpen in Heldingen. A full house for one of the best matches of the day as the Selecção faced the S.R.S. Many changes for the staple match as Patríce came in on goal, as Guerreiros, Leiteiro, Carriça and Cancela form defence; Mário, Fernando, Gama and Veiga in midfield as Silveira and Fernando Trincão played in the forward positions, in the white and blue kits. For the S.R.S., Murib between the sticks with Dzarkhin, Oleb, Dalso and Ulcveicel in the back four. Ruoho, Tambura, Takala and in the middle of the park with Vladcik, Ajao and Rebljenten completing the set.
So the match went under way under a great backdrop of the majestic mountains of Reçueçn. However, as big as they were they cast no shadow over a game as big and important as this one. The S.R.S. entered with the right foot in the match with two good chances for Vladcik and Takala as theit right flank was supporting the scene. New Lusitania managed to squeeze in the odd shot with a good shot by Gama but for the time being they were playing defensively as to not get caught out. Halftime and all still to play for. In the closing forty five, New Lusitania seemed to get into the game in a better fashion, perhaps building up morale in that first half after a first game that's best forgotten. On the fifty-fifth minute, Silveira goes in for the shot but gets saved crucially by Murib, winning the corner for the Selecção. As Mário crossed it in Silveira headed it into the back of the net, as he wheeled away in celebration much to the delight of the Lusitanians. After that the S.R.S. acknowledged they had to get back in the game and brought in a pair of fresh legs in the form of new boy Verhulst, only two caps to his name. He came in well with a good shot but it went just wide. A few other shots to take note of. On the seventieth, Veiga almost put it in but failed on what seemed a play with a lot more time on his hands. Vladcik almost got it in but Patríce just about stretched to get it out of harm's way on the eighty fifth and "that is all she wrote" as New Lusitania grabbed a vital first win. FULL TIME: 0-1.

Post Match Reaction
Victor Santa Cruz was content with the team's momentum mainiting that they "just need to continue the momentum onto the following matches" as most praised the unusual 4-4-2 system employed by him during this match to counteract S.R.S.' forwards. Goalscorer Silveira reminded that the "perils are everywhere and all other five teams in the group have shown themselves to have strengths and weaknesses" and that they "have the hard work of playing towards that accordingly".

Around the Grounds
Another round of thrilling matches went off in Reçueçn as the hosts continued their home advantage against the fleftians by a 2-1 margin. With them in Group A is the Andromeda Archipelago who pulled off a great win in a 4-3 thriller against Kavagrad as Fujai got off the ground with a simple yet effective 1-0 win to Britonisea. Over in Group B, Mercedini showed no mercy against the Greater Vakolicci Haven which must've felt as if they were in hell after that 4-0 loss. Terre Septentrionale managed to get their first win against the Aquatic Mammal (0-3) to take second place as Aaaaaa got a point against the Fleuronordicians. The Dragons and Bronies's artillery up front made it rain fire against the ice packed defence of the Penguinland but eventually two went through for a 2-0 victory. The Free Republics maintained their leadership following a comfortable win over Sajnur 5-2 as Cybyl Tribe and Bliuji saw off a draw. Group D so Kelssek at the rains along with Space whose scoring wasn't void against the Plain of Possibility as they got a 0-2 win. Kelssek kept Juvencus at the bottom after their 1-3 triumph as meanwhile as Darkmania only got a draw against Widovia (1-1). In Group E, Omerica have the reigns of the Table after their victory to HUElavia (3-1) as Monglechabagd lost to Ouna (1-2) with Barsland and Tamgu (1-1). Over in New Lusitania's group, they stand 3rd as Lisander lead after 2-4 win against Kurovija with sensational Silver Beach keep the form going after their 1-0 victory against Port Ember.

THE HUB
GOALS: Silveira
ASSISTS: Mário
YC: Mário


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World Cup 83 Quals
Top Goalscorers: Silveira (11)
Assists: Fernando (8)
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MMXIX

[Bliuji]

Bliuji Comes Up Short

The hardest match for Bliuji turned out to be a decent one to say the least. Free Republics is the better team in every way and was projected to kick Bliuji's ass by 6 goals. But from what we saw tonight that wasn't the case with Free Republics capturing the victory by a goal. This was noticeable in the first half where Free Republics got both of their goals. And it wasn't up until the 2nd half where Bliuji got things going, forward Spartacus Yuriev crossed the ball to Philemon Yefremov for their only goal.

Coaches did have doubts about this game, but they hoped that new players on the team would change the outcome. The coaches are just happy that this game was not a blow out. In the locker room pep talk coaches preached that Bliuji needed a lot of shots on net if they wanted a chance at winning. Long story short Bliuji got the shots on net but not the goals they were looking for.

[Lisander]

The easy days are now over, probably...
Pedro Rosario, from Heldingen, Reçueçn to BFOOTBALL

The mood is calm in Heldingen, especially in the hotel where the National Eleven is concentrated. But I wonder if this is not the lull before the storm. After the win against Silver Beach last night, those who played had a rest morning. The pool was closed and the men could enjoy some swimming, music and a barbecue (carefully inspected by FLF Nutritionist and Physician). It was a prize after the hard-fought game against Silver Beach, but was also the last moment of peace before the next two matches, against the Squornshelan Remnant States and New Lusitania & Algarves, theoretically the best two teams in the group.

From now on, the way should be trailed with much more attention. The qualifying to the Knockout Rounds isn't 100% guaranteed, and the days of peace in Heldingen are now over. We'll be soon taking tiresome bus trips to other locations in the country (In fact, this isn't a major problem, since transport in Reçueçn is in state of art, especially the lovely train system), we'll be soon trying to cover closed training sessions. We'll be soon sharing the pressure over these elite players. Any mistake, from now on, and we're kaput.

We'll face Squornshelan Remnant States (36th in World Rankings) in the next match, and soon after, New Lusitania and the Algarves (50th). And these both matches have everything to be harder than the game against Silver Beach.

Squornshelan Remnant States
I honestly don't know much about this nation. There are no previous notices of meeting between A Nacional and the Black-and-Reds. Their team appear to be slightly defensive, and very focused on collective play. I had some difficulties to differ SRS from Squornshelous, and searching on the internet, I found a map where the nation is presented as West Squornshelous. When I decided to ask a reporter from there, he looked at me with an ominous face and said: "If you know what's better to you, never call it West Squornshelous". I decided to leave that table. If Squornshelan media is that Partisan, I wonder what would have happened if I had asked why their team lost against New Lusitania and the Algarves. I'd lose my teeth, possibly.

New Lusitania and The Algarves
It will be A Nacional against A Selecção. The fellow Portuguese-speakers of New Lusitania and the Algarves already faced Lisander three times, always leaving in our mouths a sour taste. Two matches in previous seasons of Independents Cup, and one of them in a Friendly. We have a negative balance: two losses and a draw. The draw was in the last match, 1-1 in IAC 7. In this event, they were surprised in the opening match against Silver Beach and drew against Kurovija, so I think they may not be in their best form yet. I want to believe a win against them is possible, and that's why this game is so important. Lucky for me, I can hear and read everything they say and take notes.

[Kelssek]

THE FOOTBALL MAGAZINE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING
BUT IT WORKED IN THE VIDEO GAME SINCE 2006

Kelssek wins with saving throws

Throw-in chaos gave a battered and bruised Kelssekian side the winning goal against Plane of Possibility at the Independent Associations Championship, keeping them on top of their group and favoured to advance to the knockout rounds in the competition. Coach McDonagh ripped into the Planar team's tactics as the match came at the cost of two of his players.

Marcos Sostreso earned his first international cap but may prefer to forget this match - or may already have forgotten it after being flattened by a beserk Ember Rwi'tteh who then thumped in the opening goal to the vociferous protests of the Kelssek players.

But as the match went on, Kelssek were able to exploit the overly intellectual style of Vi de Montefort, who often dwelled on the ball for much too long. But surprisingly it was off throw-ins deep in the attacking third that Kelssek got its best chances as the Planers seemed to find dealing with throws very difficult. Krei Lyon also seemed to disappear for long stretches, opening up more chances for Ashley Douglass on the right flank. Taking the ball from an innocuous throw-in, the wing-back took advantage with a run into the channel to score her first goal for the national team and equal the score.

Louis Kuelvic then capitalized when a throw-in that may or may not have been intended as a long throw into the box led to an errant clearance by Dravok Hammerhand which the Birdingstone United forward was able to chest down and thwack into the net from just inside the penalty area. Kelssek's grip on the lead was more assured and things only got harder for the Planer team when Colm Ó Tuathil nutmegged Sir Samuel Urael III, whose vengeful lunging tackle earned him a straight red card and may have ended the young winger's tournament.

Despite the win, Kelssek manager Kirk McDonagh was furious with the casualties. "This match was rather fantastical, but the way the opposition played today was, I have to say it, reprehensible. It was a battle, and not metaphorically, not in a good way. I have a player in his first match now in concussion protocol, and another player who needs to have his leg scanned. This was chaotic and evil."

KELSSEK 2, PLANE OF POSSIBILITY 1
Kelssek: Gallagher, Liadon, Arbour, Pokorny, Sostreso (Canning-Meagher 24'), Ó Tuathil (Champetier 79'), Tremblay-Fillon, Bogdanor, Douglass, Taleb (Corvin 88'), Kuelvic.
Plane of Possibility: Lamont, Hammerhand, Urael, Simien, Irota, Molehill, de Montefort, Lyon, Rwi'tteh, K'nen, Ennex.
Goalscoring: KSK - Douglass 51', Kuelvic 74'; POP - Rwi'tteh 22'

[Fujai]

In a city park, somewhere in Reçueçn...

The Landslag often meets outdoors. When they're at home, they often use the park surrounding Nykanalstadion—they find the calm of nature helps them keep an even keel after a match, regardless of the outcome. This one was no different, and the team had retreated to a grassy knoll in a nearby park for their post-match meeting.

"Now, folks," Kaptein Arin Salberg said as they paced the grass, "I am supremely proud of your performance—"

"They're right, we've played excellent games considering this is our very first international competition!" interrupted Annarkaptein Chibuzo Jorg, to a chorus of claps.

"Thank you for the interruption," Arin said, glaring jokingly at Chibuzo. "But I can't really put it better myself. We started off with our hardest match, and we've clawed our way to third. Today's match was played very well overall, pretty tame in the start. However, we'll have to be mindful of not slipping like we did after the half. That McGinnis came in like a bat outta hell, and while it's not anyone's fault, we have to keep our heads on tight to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Arin could tell that Pernille was beating herself up over McGinnis's goal. It was her first international start today, and losing the ball like that shook her resolve. They couldn't let that get to her, it was a sure way to make sure she stayed in this rut.

"However again, we've been doing an absolutely wonderful job of working together lately," they began, "There's a lot of stress on all of us, from our country, yes, but from ourselves most of all. I know you all hold yourselves to high standards, and I want you to know that each one of you has far exceeded them in every match, as far as I'm concerned. I'm incredibly proud of your performances, and I know every Fujar is as well."

Torunn saw this as her cue to jump in before Arin started rambling about how much everyone meant to them, as they are wont to do. "Thank you, oh fearless leader, that will conclude the pep talk portion of our meeting. On to the next topic of discussion! I agree that we're doing better than anyone dared hope, but don't get cocky about it, the next matches won't be easy. The Andromedans have been doing well, especially considering they're so young. If we play smart and outscore them, we'll be in a real good position. After that, we'll be meeting Kavagrad. They haven't been doing so hot, but you can bet they'll pull out all the stops for the last group match—be ready, folks. Besides doing our best, if we can draw tomorrow, a loss for the Andromedans to the Unicorns might be enough to push us into second in the group. Given how well the Reçueçians have been doing, is a distinct possibility."

"So, that should be all for now, folks," Chibuzo took over, "Get some rest tonight, take a breather, and be ready for practice bright and early tomorrow. There'll be a big crowd in the National Stadium and we've got to give them a good show, now have a great night!"

[The Andromeda Archipelago]

A Sports Bar near both a Hotel and the Stade de la Reformacion
Geneve, Reçueçn
Monday, November 6
10:00 pm

Despite the fact that the Andromeda Eagles didn’t win their game tonight, Coach Jones still granted the Eagles some liberty after their game with Britonisea. The Eagles would play their next game at The National Stadium in Reçueçn. Some of them spent the evening at a Sports Bar near the hotel, celebrating the fact that their defense only allowed a single goal tonight.

Rick Sprinkle sits at a table arguing with Madison Nichols about some of the antics that occurred during the previous game. Phil Thomas sits between Nichols and Sprinkle.

“I didn’t like it, Ricky. They were making fun of us. They were making fun of Coach Jones.”

“We were HAVING fun, Maddie. Besides, the game was tied at 3-3. The last team who scored would have won. We needed to loosen up. That’s what happened.”

“It was kind of funny, Maddie,” Phil Thomas chimed in.

“Well, we needed some relief. It was an intense moment.”

Sprinkle raises his second glass of beer to Rachel Medrano as he sees her walk in.

“Player of the Game.”

Medrano only allowed a single goal early in the first half. She walks in with three reserve players: Rochelle Wyatt, D.L. Dandridge and Jackie Bishop. They sit at a table.

“Jackie, Coach said it was okay for you and the girls to have Tartiflette tonight.”

Tartiflette is a local delicacy in Reçueçn. Jackie Bishop has been ordered on a specific diet by Coach Hawkins. It’s Medrano’s job to see that Bishop follows the diet.

“You sure about this? It’s…fattening.”

“What is it,” Wyatt asks.

“It’s basically culinary goodness covered in cheese. Cheddar usually.”

“Not usually,” Medrano adds.

“But Cheddar is better.”

“Anyway, that’s why Dandridge and Wyatt are with us. We’ll order two of these, then share with whoever comes by. This stuff is amazing, and you’ll want to eat it all, but we can’t do that tonight.”

“So, why are we even doing this?”

“Two reasons, Jackie. One: I’ve just been DYING for some of this for the past week…”

The girls laugh.

“And two, we really need to win our next game, so Jackie, you and I each get a whole one if we win.”

“Did Coach say so?”

"Sure, she did."

10:30pm

Dolfo Martinez and JD Campbell are checking the scores of the other games on a big-screen TV while Erin Height and Hattie Lowenthal look out of the window at the evening lights of Lake Geneva.

“Right, so what’s this story arch thing you’re talking about?” Campbell helps Martinez regain focus.

“So, there’s this team from a small island nation that has entered this soccer tournament. At some point, around the end of qualifying, they’re overmatched by a far superior foe.”

“I’ve seen this movie before,” Lowenthal says.

“After losing confidence in themselves, they realize that they are still in the competition. They get back to fundamentals. They play their hearts out until they face that same unbeatable foe in the Final.”

“Is there a training montage,” Campbell says.

“And a wise mentor who knows the Force,” Height. “Feels the Cheese.”

“The Chi, Erin. The Chi.”

“Gets them in touch with their Chaka Khans,” Campbell says, laughing.

The four laugh at Campbell’s botch attempt to say ‘Chakras.’

“So how does this fairy tale end, Dad?”

Martinez is silent for a few seconds.

“That’s what we call a variable.”

“It varies,” Campbell says.

“You don’t know,” Height says.

“Your story sucks, Martinez,” Lowenthal says.

“I do know this. The players on the team are all better people for having the experience.”

The three young players consider Martinez’ story arc.

“Sounds good to me,” Height says.

“Time well spent,” Lowenthal says.

“Are there any hot chicks,” Campbell asks.

Martinez sees two young ladies at the bar. He decides to leave Campbell, Height and Lowenthal at their table.

“If you’re lucky, Campbell, there could be two.”

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independents sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

SCHADENFREUDE: OUR LAST REFUGE

Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Football Fallacies with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. And once again, I am the bearer of bad tidings: Abanhfleft failed to pick up maximum points in their game against Fujai, an altogether frustrating ninety minutes which has resulted in this gay lad tearing his hair out in anger. That'll be a story to tell the lads down at the barber's.

Yes, as I said earlier, we, Abanhfleft, were given a golden opportunity to gain all three points and we have cocked it all up. We cannot, we absolutely cannot start like we did against Fujai in our last two games. If we do, we are going to get torn apart, mark my words. Zero shots on goal, zero shots on target; that is just a complete and utter embarrassment. At this rate Ginny Katesmar could very well not make it to the next World Cup qualifying cycle. The survival rate of managers who fail to meet expectations over in the APOC sphere is around slim to none.

God, I can't believe that it took us until the second half to score, and even then, it was off of a schoolboy mistake on the part of the Fujars. Oh, Pernille Slette, what were you thinking? That you had all the time in the world to control the ball and maybe ping off a long ball or a diagonal pass? I'm sure that she had everything worked out in her mind, but what she hadn't counted on was her right foot absolutely missing the ball and giving Kelly McGinnis the opportunity she needed to pounce. Shrug off a defender here, leave another one in knots there, and there's the opening goal, an inward curler into the near post with the outside of her boot. We had a few other chances but to be fair, they were quite naff so let's move on to other things. Kind of like how Arin Salberg scored the equalizer: Steph Bryan made a naff save on Solfrid Hellem and practically put the ball on Salberg's feet, and they were not going to miss from two yards away.

So what has schadenfreude got to do with all of this? Schadenfreude is, of course, the sensation of deriving enjoyment or pleasure one gets from the misery of other people. It's quite the common thing here in Abanhfleft; some people practically live and breathe on schadenfreude, and will curl up and turn into ash if they are ever denied a supply of it. You're damn right I'm calling you out on the Internet, Lachlan, wherever the fuck you are. Anyway, to get back on topic, Fleftics live and thrive on schadenfreude. It's perhaps the only way that we can all deal with our lives, surrounded by all the pollution and traffic jams and political corruption and whatnot. And one of the main ways that we acquire schadenfreude is through sports. Fleftic sports fans are notable consumers and producers of schadenfreude over here. Of course, there is always a winner and a loser so the schadenfreude produced by the fans of the losing side are immediately lapped up by the winning fans, mostly in the form of salty tears. Trust me, there is a point behind all this drivel, and I am about to get to it now.

Abanhfleft has had a number of rivalries formed in football over the years. Nephara and Pasarga come to mind as one of the earliest rivalries we had, although it was very much more on our side than anything else. To the Cormorants and the Wanderers we were nothing but dust to be brushed off in preparation for the real battles against Eura and Starblaydia and the like. Over the years the heatedness of these "rivalries" has cooled off quite a bit since I believe we are now finally realizing that both of these teams are, frankly, better than ours. But in recent years new rivalries have formed, most notably between Kavagrad and Omerica. Omerica is a weird case because we've had their number on quite a few occasions in our first few games against each other, but now they've been paying us back, and in very inconvenient times and places too such as the Round of 16 of the Cup of Harmony or the quarterfinals of the Independents Cup. So of course the fans want to see us beat this team for all the times that they've eliminated us, but we can't exactly do that right now, can we?

And then there's Kavagrad. How on earth we declared them our rivals is a very strange and funny story indeed, and only serves to display the pettiness of the Fleftic people. So this news establishment called The Kavagrad Sportsman once published an article about their quarterfinals win in the Independents Cup over us (the link to which is right here), and in it, apparently they butchered our name. Well, that's nothing new. Even we Flefts sometimes misspell our own country's name, but like all children we learn from our mistakes and eventually get the name right, but not in this case. It's a very, very special case. See, the first time our nation's name was mentioned, the Kavagrader writers actually got it right. But then on the very next mention, Abanhfleft has suddenly become "Appletheft"! Why, surely that one is just a mistake, a typo, something that the editor missed? Well, yes, but no. "Appletheft" becomes "Abandonleft", which becomes "Alabastercrepe", and so on and so forth. Naturally, our netizens didn't take kindly to that. Once is happenstance, twice is enemy action and all that. One misspelling and probably this would have been ignored, but no. The Kavagrad Sportsman, which claims to be their nation's most trusted sports leaflet since 1961 (yeah, right, for propaganda maybe) has not only decided to misspell our nation's name, but they have also decided to make a mockery of it. Well, this cannot be allowed to stand. The Fleftic netizenry took up arms, took to the streets, and demanded that our national team beat Kavagrad, and comprehensively at that (by six goals or so) the next time that they met. And next time possibly could have been in the quarterfinals of the 7th Independents Cup. If only the Free Republics hadn't turned up to ruin the party for all of us here...

So the real next meeting between Abanhfleft and Kavagrad is here in Reçueçn in the 8th Independents Cup. Kavagrad are not doing well at the moment, sitting in fourth place with only three points to their name, but we're doing much worse; only one point in three games. Qualification to the next round at this point is now nothing more than a pipe dream, another analysis of what could have been. The only thing we have left for us is the potential to pay Kavagrad back for what we did. And because we Fleftics are all decent and upstanding folk, we are not going to deliberately butcher the name of Kavagrad in our media (much as we would like to, and even then it's actually quite hard to do). Abanhfleft is now pretty much playing for pride here, and we Fleftics are a proud lot. The fans are sure to be crying for Kavagrader blood in a few hours, and if I were one of the players wearing white on the field at that moment, I would most definitely want to indulge them. Because if they don't, the fans will surely go after that. And it's on that happy little thought that I leave you all for the next installment of The Football Fallacies. XOXO from Graham....

[Tamgu]

NEROVOD STANDS BY HIS DECISION

Tamgu 0-3 Omerica, Goalscorers: J. Beckett 5', 12', 88'

Tamgu have not had the best game of football against Omerica in the third matchday. The lost three points have certainly made their job a lot harder for the remaining two games. Manager Albin Nerovod was the target of most of the blaming, because of the changes he had made to the squad. He has responded immediately to these, saying that his changes weren't what made them lose, and if luck were on their side, they could have very well drawn or even won. The statistics show that he is right, his changes played much better than the ones they replaced, bar Canke Elak. He was taken off at the 21st minute after a piss-poor performance, with only 66% pass accuracy, 5 lost balls, and only 1 won.

The match was dominated by Omerica, with Tamgu resorting to counter-attacking football that let them create a few important goal-scoring chances that were denied by the Omerican keeper Valentine Agustin, who nearly missed out on being MOTM to the hat-trick scorer Jessie Beckett, who not only scored goals but created a bunch of chances for his teammates. Other players that had excellent performances were Elise Bianchi with 12 tackles won, Christina Falkirk with 4 shots on target and 6 successful dribbles, Charity Kayode with 5 headers won and 3 blocks, finally, Yann Ulsima with %95 passing accuracy and 4 chances created.

The first two goals came quite early, as early as the first twelve minutes, one in 5' and one in 12'. The first goal was scored after an error from Canke Elak with an attempted backpass being intercepted by Beckett, and her launching the ball into the top corner from a little inside the box. The second goal came from a cutback from Adélaïde Argyris, which found Beckett's feet perfectly, and all she had to do was tap it in the net. Tamgu finally got out of the pressure and balanced the match out for a long time, until an attack from Omerica in the 88th minute, where the double-goalscorer Beckett found another chance to score right before the final whistle, where she scored a nicely finessed goal that went past the young keeper Felter, who hasn't had a bad game at all, despite conceding three.

Albin Nerovod has told he will be changing his team's tactics against HUElavia, but will not be putting Estogas back in goal until he apologizes.

[HUElavia]

HUElavia Hits Lows and Highs

HUElavia continued their debut in the IAC with a difficult defeat against Omerica at Stade de l’Alliance, in Genève. The game started with an early goal by Beckett, before Gonzalez got past the defense to tie the match at 1-1. The first half ended with the draw, despite attempts from both teams to get the draw-breaking goal. The second half started and halfway into the 2nd half, two quick goals in succession by Palmeiro and Falkirk had sealed the game away at 1-3. Once again, HUElavia had a strong start only to choke away either the lead or draw.

HUElavia played in matchday 3 against Monglechabagd in Genève, but this time in the Stade de la Reformation. The crowd was heavily pro-HUElavia and the stadium was roaring with chants and songs from the HUElavian. Los Amarillos got their footing early, with a 4th minute goal from Gallegos, who scored an amazing free-kick from a near impossible angle, which is tipped to be one of the goals of the tournament up to now. HUElavia had many one-on-one chances in the first half, but they were either shot wide or blocked by the goalkeeper. The 2nd half came, and HUElavia quickly capitalized on the start, with Cristiano dispossessing a defender to go one-on-one with the goalie, before sliding the goal into the net to make it 2-0. The 2nd half continued being the same, with HUElavia dominating the game, but missing so many shots on goal. That is, until substitute Suzuki hit a blistering shot from distance (38 yards) in additional time. The 3-0 victory was a lifeline for Los Amarillos, as they now have to face off against Tamgu in Zimmerich to keep pace in the possibility of Qualifying into the Round-of-16.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

[Omerica]

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Tamgu 0–3 Omerica: Beckett “absolutely stunned” by her hat trick
By Christine Halleran

Jessie Beckett has officially overtaken her strike partners to become Omerica’s top scorer thus far in Reçueçn, bagging all three goals in a key victory over Tamgu. The Falcon United winger’s reaction: surprise.

Omerica’s IAC⁸ goalscorers

Jessie Beckett: 4 goals
George Palmeiro: 3
Christina Falkirk: 3

The first goal at the Stade de l’Alliance came stunningly early, when Canke Elak scuffed a backpass to Sami Felter, who replaced first-choice keeper Toy Estogas due to a brawling controversy. Beckett intercepted the pass and put the ball past the stunned Tamguna keeper. Another scuffed pass gave Omerica the ball back in quick fashion; Adélaïde Argyris, who started at the last-minute after George Palmeiro injured himself in a training accident, was able to provide a perfectly placed pass to Beckett, who swiftly doubled Omerica’s advantage.

Tamgu had managed to recover from the initial stumble, but the heroics of Valentine Augustin kept the Hawks from cutting into Omerica’s advantage. An effective halftime talk from manager Albin Nerovod was able to calm nerves in the Tamguna camp, with the second half reflecting the Hawks’ quality more accurately. Unfortunately, that quality went without its due award; the final goal of the match came late in the match, with Beckett slotting the ball past Felter once again in the 88th minute and the captain recording his first assist of the tournament.

“I’m absolutely stunned, just lost for words,” Beckett stated when given Augustin was given her Player of the Match award. “Those first two goals came so quickly and so early that by the time I got the third, I’d forgot about it. Red [Bolton] had to hand me the ball before I realised.”

Augustin, who almost narrowly missed out on the award after Beckett’s third goal, would have hardly been upset to lose out. “We’re a team here,” the Saint Anne keeper stated after Beckett. “We all had our part to play in the match and the result being as great as it was. Absolutely getting a hat trick is worthy of the honour.”

“It’s a lot of luck,” Beckett said in response. “A lot of players out there did great today and this is why this tournament is worth watching. Tamgu were unlucky today and we’ve suffered those matches as well. It’s how you move forward and I’m sure they’ll come back stronger.”

The United Republican Soccer Federation and Incorrigibles staff have yet to reveal details on Palmeiro’s accident, but the team sheet for Omerica’s match against Ouna already has the Philibiscostal forward’s name left off. With the accident likely also ruling him out of the game against Barsland, whether Palmeiro will be fit to play in the knockout is yet to be seen.

IAC Group E as things stand
Note: Ouna and HUElavia are level on all tiebreakers

The Group E table looks much the same as it did before, with the minor exception of HUElavia pulling level with Ouna thanks to a comprehensive win over Monglechabagd. Barsland recovered from a disappointing draw with Tamgu to defeat Ouna 2–1, keeping on Omerica’s heels, with Monglechabagd and Omerica left to play.

Omerica will secure a place in the top two with two points or victory over Ouna. If Omerica defeat Ouna and Barsland somehow fail to overcome Monglechabagd, Omerica will secure their place as group winners. Barsland will look to match Omerica’s result, then stun the Incorrigibles on the final day of the group stage to take first place. Tamgu can still take spot, but this relies on Omerica losing both their final two matches, so they will realistically be hoping to leapfrog Barsland or secure one of the four wild card spots.

In the wild card race, Tamgu currently miss out over Terre Septentrionale and Bliuji on goal difference, with Darkmania and Silver Beach one and two points clear of the rest of the pack respectively. Elsewhere in the tournament, Kelssek have recovered from their opening draw to open a two-point lead in Group D, with Space edging out Darkmania on goal difference. In Group F, Lisander pulled through in their narrowest win of the campaign yet, maintaining their perfect record and a three-point lead over Squornshelous.

Reçueçn, Drawkland and the Free Republics all also lead their groups on nine points, with the Kick Corps’ closest challengers four points behind with two games left to play. Sajnur and the Andromeda Archipelago are slightly closer, being only two and three points behind their group leaders respectively. On the current results, Aaaaaa and Sajnur would face off for a possible meeting with the hosts, the Free Republics and Andromeda would be playing for quarterfinal against Drawkland, Barsland and Squornshelous would play for a chance to take on Kelssek and Lisander or Space would be the quarterfinal opponents for Omerica (assuming a Round of 16 win). The exact arrangements for the wild card teams have not been confirmed by the organising committee.

As for Kavagrad, the blood they are out for is apparently their own. They sit on three points and a −3 goal difference, having been crushed by the hosts on matchday three. At least they’re ahead of Abanhfleft, though. ◇

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Uniting Omerican sport fans across the United Republics — blogdefootball: a proud member of the Gryphon Pride network

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United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Tamgu 0–3 Omerica
Independent Associations Championship 8 group stage — Matchday Three
Stade de l’Alliance, Genève, Reçueçn
Goalscorers: Jessie Beckett 5’, 12’, 88’
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Jet Sneyders – Aristide de Felice – Charity Kayode – Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares – Elise Bianchi – Red Bolton (captain); Adélaïde Argyris – Christina Falkirk – Jessie Beckett

Omerica v Ouna
Independent Associations Championship 8 group stage — Matchday Four
Stade de l’Alliance, Genève, Reçueçn
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Jet Sneyders – Aristide de Felice – Charity Kayode – Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares – Elise Bianchi – Red Bolton (captain); Adélaïde Argyris – Christina Falkirk – Jessie Beckett

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[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Portuguese Problems
Baral Karlov; Renwyll, Reçueçn

Taking three badly needed points against a Port Ember team that have thus far failed to find the form and flourish that facilitated their fourth place finish in Group E (why couldn't it have been F?) during World Cup 83 Qualifying, the Black-and-Reds are faced with their second Lusophone opponent in three matches, with the last one not having gone so well. Smothering defense by the Luisão side had largely denied quality chances to the Black-and-Reds, and Donnell had taken some heat in the press for turning to Verhulst rather than Jzvanic to kick-start the attack. While dismissive of her critics, Donnell did turn to Jzvanic in the following mattch against Port Ember, removing Ajao at halftime for an all Molvanian attack. While Jzvanic did not add to his impressive tally of goals in national service, he did set up a number of chances, including one that gave Rebljeten his second goal of the tournament, putting the match out of reach in the closing moments.

While the next match would appear easier than the one against New Lusitania on paper, with Lisander 80 positions lower in the latest KPB rankings, the Nacional are a team very much on form, having won all three of their matches to this point. While these three victories have been against lesser opposition, and Lisander have still to play the Black-and-Reds as well as New Lustania, every football fan can tell you how often form trumps class. Donnell has indicated that Jzvanic will start in place of Vladcik against Lisander, but that no other changes will be made to the starting roster from the last three matches. One certainly hopes, that the veteran can bring the creativity and poise necessary to break through a back line coming off a clean sheet against Silver Beach, but seemed to have exploitable weaknesses in their first two matches. With both Jzvanic and Rebljeten very willing to range back and forth across the field, passing off marking assignments will be of great importance for Lisander.

Should the SRS prevail, the result would put them equal on points with Lisander, heading to a final match against an overachieving side from Silver Beach. Either way, points are precious at this stage, and the best way for the Black-and-Reds to be sure of advancement is, banal though the observation may be, to claim all of them.

SRS IAC 8 Schedule and Results:

MD1: SRS 1-0 Kurovija Stade de la Reformation (cap. 27,000) Genève
MD2: SRS 0-1 New Lusitania and the Algarves Arena der Alpen (cap. 20,000) Heldingen
MD3: Port Ember 0-2 SRS Sporting Field (cap. 22,000) Renwyll
MD4: SRS v Lisander Arena der Alpen
MD5: Silver Beach v SRS Arena der Alpen

[Barsland]

Barsland Sports News

Barsland Secure Their Position

Ouna 1 (??? 85') – 2 Barsland (Collins 15', Taylor 68')

A return to Stade de l’Alliance for Barsland helped them to return to their winning ways despite a number of changes to their first XI in an important match against Ouna. Most notable were the changes to midfield with Rhodes and Hansen coming in for Taylor and Hart, and White replacing Lawson who scored in both games prior. The first half start was more positive than the previous games, and it was only 15 minutes before Collins hit the back of the net, heading in another corner from Sanders. This would be the only goal this half, however, and Ouna's defence managed to keep Collins and White at bay despite some great attacking plays from the fresh midfielders. The game slowed down for the last 10 minutes of the half, and while Barsland had the majority of the possession they failed to make it count for anything.

The team looked revitalised on their return to the field, and once again Geneve was swinging to Barsland's tune. The energy from the stands transferred to the players and the attack was on once again, but Ouna stood strong. Mason showed some flexibility in his tactics when he took White out for Taylor, who was allowed to push further up the pitch compared to his other games. It was this freedom of movement that finally got him on the scoresheet, scoring a 40 yard scorcher of a shot which silenced the opposition. Although the game was totally under control, questions will have to be asked about Barsland's defensive plan after a mistake from Pearce led to Ouna's only goal the game, meaning Barsland have conceded in all three games so far.

Despite the problems at the back a victory against Monglechabagd should secure qualification and it is this thought that is keeping the teams confidence up, as Mason said after the game: "The boys are in good spirits and we're all confident in making it to the next stage"
When asked about the problems in defence he retaliated saying: "It's not as much of a problem as you lot in the press are making it, teams let in goals all the time, and some of our opponents have some real quality up front. We had a much better start today, now we just need to see out the games"

Player Ratings

Group E                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                             3   3  0  0   10   1  +9    9
2 Barsland                            3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
3 Tamgu                               3   1  1  1    3   5  −2    4
4 HUElavia                            3   1  0  2    5   6  −1    3
  Ouna                                3   1  0  2    4   5  −1    3
6 Monglechabagd                       3   0  0  3    1   9  −8    0

[Drawkland]

Cam Cross and Nicole Warren were strolling back to their hotel room after witnessing the Kick Corps win over Terre Septentrionale. Despite the 1-0 scoreline, it was clear the Elite Eleven were mainly content on simply letting tick down while they puttered around with the ball for the entire first half. A quick goal after the beginning of the second half was all it took, and their solid defense was enough to keep the game at bay.

"Weird how Ellzidan didn't stop by today," Nicole said after a couple minutes of silence.

"It was probably weirder how she showed up to last game at all," Cam pointed out, and Nicole shrugged at that.

"Well that thing she said about not knowing anything about the Elite Eleven has been bugging me ever since she said that. I feel like she was wanting to launch into one of her mysterious stories that sound like elementary school myths but then she just up and left. Why even bother me with that!" Nicole feinted exasperation, and Cam laughed.

Presently, they approached the hotel lot and walked through the sliding doors. To their surprise, none other than the elf herself was casually lounging in one of the lobby seats. She was leaned back in the seat, her legs kicked out and crossed at the ankles while she read from some sort of small book. The instant the pair walked in and noticed her, she marked her page, closed the book, and stood up from the seat. She finally turned to look at them and offer a smile as she walked towards them. They couldn't tell if it was genuine or forced, but they smiled back anyway.

"Hey there! Heh, long time no see!" Cam said finally as they walked towards her, "Are you staying here too?"

"Oh of course not," Ellzidan said with a chuckle, "But they sure do have nice chairs in this lobby." The pair gave each other a glance and looked back at the elf. Nicole decided not to pursue that and instead ask what had been burning her mind for the past week.

"Hey, so do you remember what we were talking about the other day? With the Elite Eleven and everything?" Nicole asked, hoping she'd take to it.

"Hmm, that seems to ring a bell," Ellzidan looked up at the ceiling, looking deep in thought.

"Well, uh, we were kinda wondering if you had anything else to say about that," said Cam, "We're sorta interested in what you were going to say before you ... left."

"I could perhaps spare a minute. I was just about to be off to someplace to eat when you both happened to walk in."

"We could accompany you if you wouldn't mind?" Nicole said, nudging Cam.

"Yeah, no problem for us at all, we're starving!" Cam quickly added when nudged.

"It's a date then!" the elf said gleefully, and she quickly strode past them and out the door. Still wearing the bags they brought to the stadium, Cam and Nicole turned around and jogged to catch back up with her.

"So, I assume you all can recall your early Drawkian history lessons right? The Formation? The Drawkionel Council? All that jazz?" Ellzidan said after a moment, "They do still teach all that business?" The pair nodded, and Ellzidan continued.

"I'm sure it's all very hard for you to believe. You two live in a very modernized world that us back in those days would never have been able to imagine, and similarly, you probably have a hard time imagining what a life like that would be like."

"I have to admit a lot of your apparent escapades are a little mythical in nature. What, with the dragon thing and the magical realm maze?" Cam replied.

"Exactly. Things that were simply apart of my world back then simply aren't a big deal anymore or even known. So of course it could be hard to believe. That's what funny about the Elite Eleven, really."

"Wait ... how are the Elite Eleven involved in this at all? They only got famous like 10 or 20 years ago right?" Nicole asked, a bit breathlessly.

"Sure, for you they did," Ellzidan said, a bit distractedly as she was scanning the street for some sort of place to eat.

"How is that possible though?" said Cam, "They're like maybe 30-something years old. Like a bunch of dudebros."

"For you they are," Ellzidan repeated, then suddenly turned to her left. "Ah, here looks like a good spot!" She opened the door and went inside. Cam and Nicole had barely realized she was already inside when they turned back around and went to open the door to the little pub.

As soon as they opened the door, the elf was nowhere to be seen. The pair looked all around the dining area and couldn't find even a trace of her. There didn't even appear to be a bathroom door anywhere close.

"Did she just give us the slip again?!" Nicole groaned.

"It looks like it," Cam huffed, "Let's just get something to eat. Now I'm really starving."

[Recuecn]

CUTOFF

Continuing our theme of music from different places a bit longer, here's a cutoff song from my new home.

RESULTS

Group A
Fujai 2–2 The Andromeda Archipelago
Reçueçn 2–0 Britonisea
Abanhfleft 3–2 Kavagrad

Group A                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Reçueçn                             4   4  0  0   11   1 +10   12
2 The Andromeda Archipelago           4   2  2  0   10   8  +2    8
3 Fujai                               4   1  2  1    4   7  −3    5
4 Abanhfleft                          4   1  1  2    7   8  −1    4
5 Kavagrad                            4   1  0  3    6  10  −4    3
6 Britonisea                          4   0  1  3    1   5  −4    1

Group B
Fleuronordicia 0–3 Aquatic Mammal
Drawkland 1–1 Aaaaaa
Greater Vakolicci Haven 2–2 Terre Septentrionale

Group B                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Drawkland                           4   3  1  0   13   3 +10   10
2 Aaaaaa                              4   1  3  0    8   7  +1    6
3 Terre Septentrionale                4   1  2  1    7   5  +2    5
4 Aquatic Mammal                      4   1  1  2    6   7  −1    4
5 Fleuronordicia                      4   1  1  2    7  14  −7    4
6 Greater Vakolicci Haven             4   0  2  2    5  10  −5    2

Group C
The Dragons and Bronies 1–2 The People of the Cybyl Tribe
Free Republics 6–2 The Penguinland
Sajnur 1–2 Bliuji

Group C                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Free Republics                      4   4  0  0   16   6 +10   12
2 Bliuji                              4   2  1  1    6   5  +1    7
3 The People of the Cybyl Tribe       4   2  1  1    7   7   0    7
4 Sajnur                              4   2  0  2   12  13  −1    6
5 The Dragons and Bronies             4   1  0  3    8  10  −2    3
6 The Penguinland                     4   0  0  4    4  12  −8    0

Group D
Plane of Possibility 2–1 Widovia
Juvencus 2–1 Space
Kelssek 3–0 Darkmania

Group D                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kelssek                             4   3  1  0    8   2  +6   10
2 Plane of Possibility                4   2  0  2    4   5  −1    6
3 Space                               4   1  2  1    7   6  +1    5
4 Darkmania                           4   1  2  1    4   6  −2    5
5 Widovia                             4   0  3  1    6   7  −1    3
6 Juvencus                            4   1  0  3    5   8  −3    3

Group E
Monglechabagd 4–4 Barsland
Omerica 3–3 Ouna
HUElavia 6–2 Tamgu

Group E                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                             4   3  1  0   13   4  +9   10
2 Barsland                            4   2  2  0   10   7  +3    8
3 HUElavia                            4   2  0  2   11   8  +3    6
4 Ouna                                4   1  1  2    7   8  −1    4
5 Tamgu                               4   1  1  2    5  11  −6    4
6 Monglechabagd                       4   0  1  3    5  13  −8    1

Group F
Kurovija 4–3 Silver Beach
Squornshelan Remnant States 2–0 Lisander
New Lusitania and the Algarves 2–0 Port Ember

Group F                             Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Squornshelan Remnant States         4   3  0  1    5   1  +4    9
2 Lisander                            4   3  0  1    9   6  +3    9
3 New Lusitania and the Algarves      4   2  1  1    4   2  +2    7
4 Silver Beach                        4   2  0  2    5   5   0    6
5 Kurovija                            4   1  1  2    7   9  −2    4
6 Port Ember                          4   0  0  4    2   9  −7    0

Team has secured advancement to round of sixteen
Team cannot advance
Edit: It might actually still be possible for the Andromeda Archipelago to be eliminated

[HUElavia]

Los Amarillos soar high in an emphatic victory

HUElavia traveled to Zimmerich, at the Siegstadion as they went to face off against Tamgu. HUElavia had now found their rhythm and motivation after the 3-0 victory over Monglechabagd, and now were seeking to continue to win matches. Little did the team and the thousands of fans traveling that the match would be one to celebrate. The first half began with a corner kick being taken by Gallegos, with Mendieta rising up above everyone to head it in the back of the net in the 5th minute. 10 Minutes later, Rocheteau would give out a blistering strike from over 35 yards out and a fumble by the keeper Estogas allowed the ball to go in the back of the net. Some minutes later, Reizo would get a rebound that would allow him to score to cut distances, but Rossi did a spectacular run and made the game 3-1 at the half.

The second half came, and a foul over Petit in the 47th minute allowed for Cristiano to score a Penalty Kick to make it 4-1. A foul committed by Mendieta allowed Tamgu to score a penalty of their own in the 53rd minute, thanks to Nekir, making the game 4-2. Although, HUElavia wanted more and substitutes Vazquez and Toni both bagged goals in the 77th and 80th minute, both coming from corner kicks taken by Gallegos. These goals resulted in the game ending in 6-2, and nearly a foot into the Round-of-16. They now face Ouna at Stade de l’Alliance in Genève for Matchday 5, where it is a winner-take-all match. If HUElavia wins, they may be heading into the knockouts in their debut as one of the 3rd Placed teams or the Runner-Up.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA

[Bliuji]

In a game that had the fans on the edge of their seats Bliuji gave Sajnur the game of their lives. This game had everything a soccer/football fan could ask for. It was physical, fast pace, energetic, fun, and daunting. Although Sajnur did not get "smacked" they played a really good game especially on defense. Regardless of letting in 2 goals Sajnurs defense is always their problem. But their defense played well this game against Bliuji's amazing offense. Steaks were high, Bliuji having faced Sajnur 2 times before this in the world cup lost both of those, in close disputes. But with new players on Bliuji's squad is what made the difference maker in this one, with the help of amazing coaching and management. Fast is the main word that would pop into someones head when you think of Sajnur football. Although their offense is arguably top 15 in the world that is due to the speed of their strikers and midfielders, fast as lightning.

Bliuji starting 11 (subs in bold)

GK: Andriy Pyatov
DF: Tim Kolesnikov
DF: Lawrence Biryukov
DF: Roman Aksakov
DF: Karp Yuriev
MF: Erast Bezrukov & Gabriel Kolesnikov(sub)
MF: Nikon Kotov
MF: Erik Belov (1 goal and 1 assist)
FW: Philemon Yefremov & Xanderikek Miles(sub)
FW: Daniel Lyskov (1 goal)
ST: Spartacus Yuriev (1 assist)

Erik Belov pops off

The infamous Erik Belov popped off with a goal and an assist. We all know he is the best player for Bliuji. And we are also expecting he will continue to be this good for the rest of the tournament.

Other

5:00pm on the practice field.

Coach Shevchenko walked into the locker room.

"The tournament is going well so far boys, we played a great game against Free Republics and have proven to the world that we have the ability to hold our own with the most talented teams across the globe. Now with Sajnur next you boys need to work really hard. Sajnur's offense is extraordinary and we need to prioritize our outstanding midfielders and defensemen stopping them on the rush or else they will put up 5 goals on us."

Players were getting changed

Erik Belov looked at Sidor Alexandrov.

"How's that broken dick treating you?" Erik Asked

"Oh shutup Erik you'll never understand the pain" Said Sidor

"I'll see you and your pet eguana after practice!" Erik laughed

"Fuck you man haha" Sidor responded

[Drawkland]

After the match against the fearsome squad of Aaaaaa, neither Cam nor Nicole really knew how to feel. On one hand, it was nice to see the Elite Eleven's hubris finally get the better of them and be reserved to only a draw. On the other hand, it was the first time Drawkland had dropped points in the IAC group stage since IAC6's Day 1. The two were torn between loyalty and support of their home nation and former team and the envy of their replacements. Right now though, they were a bit more bother about the absence of a certain elf.

"I feel like next time we see her we gotta hold her hand to make sure she doesn't just slip away on a whim again," Cam chuckled. Nicole was not as amicable about it.

"I'm honestly starting to get sick of it. If she's gonna tell us the story she oughta just do it. I'm sick of this mystery and teasing shit. I know that's like, her MO, but it's still a pain in the ass."

"That's just the way she rolls and you know it. It wasn't as bad when we were still on the team since we saw her on a regular predictable basis."

"Whatever. I'm just saying she's starting to annoy the piss out of m-"

Suddenly, the pair heard a knock on their hotel room window. Which was alarming, considering their room was on the fourth floor of the building. Both of them were startled, and Cam walked across the room to peek between the closed blinds. None other than Ellzidan herself was on the other side, hanging on some edge of the wall above the window. She was smiling and slightly perspiring, and brought one hand down from the ledge she was hanging on to knock on the window.

"Care to let me in?" she asked cheerfully, and more casually than one should reasonably be, four stories above the ground. Cam, still a little startled, pulled back the curtain and looked for the latch to crack the window. It only pushed a bit outwards from the bottom, leaving a slim opening. This was no problem for the elf, who seemingly effortlessly slid down the surface of the wall and grabbed onto the windowsill.

"Do you need a hand..?" Cam asked, tilting her head to look down at the elf. Nicole had gotten up from her lounging position on the bed to join Cam.

"I'm ... good, thanks," Ellzidan huffed, and pulled her torso through the opening in one swift motion. She swung one leg around through the sill and then pulled herself all the way through, closing the window behind her.

"Hey! I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by!" she said when she turned back to the duo. Both of them were still a little frazzled from the shock of getting a knock on the window, but were recovering. They knew better to question Ellzidan, anyway.

"Well, uh, make yourself at home, why don't you?" Nicole said, with a little more sarcasm in her voice than necessary.

"If you insist!" Ellzidan replied, hopping onto the hotel room bed. Nicole had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes, while Cam was close to laughing at the situation.

"So, I think we were perhaps interrupted at our last meeting, don't you?" said Ellzidan, "I went into the restaurant to eat and you both were nowhere to be seen!"

Both women were confused. Ellzidan was the one who had given them the slip right? Were they oblivious or something?

"Y-yeah, I think so," Cam offered after a moment, "I think we were talking about the Elite Eleven or something."

"Ah yes ... those arrogant boys. I think it's pretty clear that neither of you like them very much. Neither do I. Unlike you both, this didn't start last year when we were replaced, at least for me. My displeasure with those individuals extends long before then."

"Do tell ..." Cam said, as the both of them grabbed chairs to sit in, hoping they'd finally get resolution to the story they'd been waiting for.

"The ones you know as the Elite Eleven are much older than the 30-whatevers they appear to be." Ellzidan began, leaning forward, "Really, they'd been around for several centuries now. Ever since sports became a mainstream obsession, they were part of the initial boom. They've had many names over the years, and I've never bothered to learn them. The Elite Eleven as you know them now are simply a façade of their original selves.

"I must admit I don't know the exact details of their origin. There was, at one time, a larger set of journeymen who travelled the country and even the world together, playing exhibitions against anyone who would take them. Soccer, basketball, football, it didn't matter to them. Even olympic trials weren't out of the question, though they never did qualify over real athletes. Iarocav would probably be a better person to ask about all that. In any case, they were mildly popular, but it was long before they'd have the option to make really big money as athletes or headline national news. It was simply a different time.

"Eventually a few of them began succumbing to injuries, both permanent and temporary, and it was clear whatever success or money they were having was going to dry up soon. All of a sudden, they'd disappeared. Back then, things weren't really kept track of as easily, and nobody really cared, they were simply a relatively short blip on the radar of public consciousness. There were a few of us who knew better though.

"It wasn't long before a party of young men arrived at the roots of Elstrund begging me for advice. Apparently they were so afraid of losing what they had, they desired to become immortal in the same manner as us Drawkionels. To me, they came across as arrogant and entitled. I told them what I know. There's only one real way to become immortal, and that was to navigate the maze deep in the heart of TiSoFaH and come out of the other end. To do that, they'd have to be able to navigate the magma tunnels of Valsum, which I both know nothing about, and assume they'd perish trying to attempt. If you remember from your early history lessons, the lava in that old mountain only accepts the pure of heart. The evil or weak would perish as surely as any they would in any other pit of molten rock, while only true heroes could survive.

"They seemed disappointed, and left without pushing me. I assumed it'd be the end of the matter, my answer was both correct and the final word for their foolish quest. Perhaps there are other methods, but I certainly don't know any of them, and if they existed, they were surely blasphemous and self-destructive in nature. Little did I know that these very methods were in play.

"As I said, I know not of these methods, but perhaps a year later, I was woken in the middle of the night by Elstrund. He was being very vague, saying things about sick things happening somewhere in the world. It was the peak of Maliganthe, the Cursed Moon, perhaps the most dangerous night in any year. I didn't think anything of it, as there were no immediate threats, and such vague warnings from Elstrund had often turned out to be nothing.

"It had been years since I'd even thought of the young men that had made their futile trek to my door. Probably several decades. But, out of nowhere, these exhibitionists in a similar fashion showed up, touring around the nation. Technology had advanced by then, so I found a photo in a bulletin one day. They were the spitting image of those boys, but so much more sinister than I remembered. There were only half as many left, as about 30 or so had been around when they spoke to me. When I asked Iarocav later, he confirmed it - they were most likely the same people.

"I knew it was impossible they could've made it through the Van-Torm labrynth, or even made it there at all, so I assumed it was some cursed or false method of extending life. I've never seen them in person since I saw them so many centuries ago, and I don't intend to. Every time they've requested an exhibition with the Roots I've refused, and if you notice, I make myself scarce whenever they're at DISC events. They are not welcome in my valley and I'm not going to welcome myself anywhere near them. There is a certain evil surrounding them that I prefer to not expose myself to, and that's that."

Both the girls were shocked and silent. After some moments of nothing, Cam spoke up, "But if they're so evil, why would Iarocav even allow them to represent our nation in such a way? Surely he would intervene with DISC like he has so many times before?" Ellzidan suddenly stood up, with a cross expression.

"We don't see eye to eye on everything, you know. Now if you'll excuse me, I have places to be."

Before the girls could even manage to say goodbye, she had already crossed the room to the door, and left without a word.

[Fujai]

DU-UKH, UUK – Keiserholde, Fujai — Hej folks, Berit here coming to you from DU-UKH, Den Blå Duken, UiKeiserholde's officially unofficial student radio. Today's Idrottsminutt [Sports Minute] includes an update on the IAC 8, Olympic Games, and an update on the current political situtation.

Today's football game over in Reçueçn wasn't quite what the Landslag had hoped for: a 2-2 draw. The Andromedan side acquitted themselves well, with Steffi Tucker and Oona Kerry Jr. scoring both of their goals in the first half. Meanwhile, the Fujansk team was putting on a rough show, both offensively and defensively. The Landslag really struggled to bring it together early on for some reason, but pulled back to shut the Andromedans out in the second half and score two goals to equalize at 56' and 73' from kaptein Arin Salberg and Erna Höss. My speculation for the team's poor first half performance is that the stress of the IAC combined with today's political scandal had something to do with it.

To recap the past day's events, an exposé in Keiserholde Arbeiderblad was released last night, implicating three of the seven Rådgafer [members of Fujai's executive council], at least one major party leader, as well as 21 Velktingsrepresentants [VRs] and numerous bureaucrats in a vote-rigging operation. Those implicated were Fradovpartiet members Infrastruktursrådgaferen Geiri Tangen, Sosialrådgaferen Birgit Jonar, and Sentrum member Finansrådgaferen Myrk Vinje. FP and SP are currently the first and fourth largest parties in the Velkting, respectively—the 21 VRs implicated came from the four historically largest parties in the country: Fradov, Grønna, Sentrum, and Moderig. The three Rådgafer resigned early this morning, as have most of the VRs involved and Moderig's co-leader.

These revelations have shaken the country to the core, and our pride in fair, transparent government has been sorely bruised. The story broke at 00:29 this morning in the midst of nationwide celebrations for nordic combined gold medalist Huanna Genso. The celebrations quickly turned to protests as news spread and have been raging all day. The protesters, which some estimate at nearly 2.3 million, almost 40% of the nation's population, are calling for new elections, the resignation of all officials from the four parties involved, and in-depth investigations into how deep this conspiracy went and how it could have happened in a country that takes such pride in integrity.

As nationwide protests continue, we at Den Blå Duken hope the Landslag and our Olympic athletes can work together to be a symbol of unity in these trying times. Tomorrow is the final match of the IAC 8 group stage against Kavagrad. While the Kavagrad national team is more experienced than the Landslag, they've been on poor form in the IAC 8, with 1 win and 3 losses. The Landslag stands at 1 win, 2 draws, and 1 loss. The only way we can qualify for the Round of 16 is if we rout Kavagrad and if Reçueçn routs The Andromeda Archipelago. Thankfully, the latter is fairly likely given the Reçueçians' skill this competition. Don't forget you can find current IAC standings and schedules on our website, duukh.fj

That's all for today's Idrottsminutt—sorry for the drab tone and foray into the political, but it's important to keep even sports in context. Now stay safe folks, and remember to exercise your democratic rights!

Edit: actually added the graphics referenced

[Sajnur]

Down to the Wire in Recuecn

Sajnur's campaign at the Independent Associations Championship sits on a precarious ledge, with the red and purple having won two, and lost two, and generally played poorly. The defence, in particular, has been largely terrible, having conceded 13 goals in four matches, the worst record in Group C. Sajnur's victories have come largely where they were expected to, with a 4-2 win over the Cybyl Tribe on the opening matchday and a 5-4 scare against the Dragons and Bronies on Matchday Three. However, a 5-2 loss against tournament contenders the Free Republics and the recent 2-1 loss to Bliuji leaves Sajnur with a do or die matchup against an under-performing Penguinland team to beat if the knockout stage is to be reached. A win should give Sajnur passage, even if the team is third in Group C, as Sajnur will be on nine points and whoever is third in Groups A, B, and D will be on no higher than eight points. The only way Sajnur wins and finishes fourth is if the Cybyl tribe takes an unprecedented upset win against the Free Republics, with Bliuji near certain to beat the Dragons and Bronies to finish second.

Sajnur's campaign opened at the National Stadium, with thousands of Sajnuran supporters joined by locals, more used to Recuecn's defensive style, there to witness Sajnur's trademark attack. Combined, they sold out the National Stadium's 30,000 seats and watched as Sajnur ripped into the Cybyl defence. Andre Naulo opened the scoring in the 15th minute as Jessica Siafik launched a ball over the Cybyl back line for a sprinting Naulo to take and carry to the box, where he curled around the keeper to take the lead. The Cybyl Tribe equalised, however, as their forward outjumped Kahala Murje to head a cross past Piotr Laghiev and into goal. The half time score would be 2-1 to Sajnur, however, as Murje received a Dario Tule crossfield ball and sent it rocketing from 30 yards into the top corner. The second half started quietly, and the tightening of the Cybyl defence was accompanied by an improvement in the Cybyl attack as they won a penalty, with Tomasi Vuierev seeing yellow and a Cybyl player dispatching the penalty to level the score again. Thankfully for Sajnur, the Cybyl defence collapsed soon after, allowing Tule to dispossess a Cybyl fullback and run into open space before beating the keeper in another one on one, and Siafik finished off the scoreline, the captain dribbling through several defenders in close quarters, rounding the keeper, and shooting into an empty net to make it 4-2.

The Stade de la Reformation did not provide such fruit for Sajnur, however, as the Free Republics, ranked 17th in the world, asserted themselves on the pitch on the way to a 5-2 victory. It was actually Sajnur who took the lead, with Jessica Siafik making space in the penalty box to receive a Sian Levici pass before deceiving Zak Josef and slotting past Republic keeper Taras Sergeyev to take the lead. That lead would be short lived, however, as Kalervo Peltola would score the first of his goals, Johnny Smith offloading to him from the edge of the box and Peltola sending the ball to the bottom corner to equalise. Peltola would become provider in the 39th minute as he rolled one through to fellow striker Porbegur Lydsson who shot from an angle to take a lead that the Republics would keep for the rest of the match. The second half brought more misery for the red ad purple as Peltola scored again, this time with Love Holm setting up for him as Holm dribbled into space and gave an early cross to Peltola to volley into goal, and Tomasi Vuierev conceded a free kick on the wing, receiving a second yellow which suspended him from the match against Dragons and Bronies. That free kick was taken by Maxim Izmailov, who whipped it on to Peltola's head, allowing the striker to complete his hattrick in a man of the match performance. Peltola was subbed off for Jake Reed as the Free Republics sought to protect their lead, but this initially didn't work as Levici got his second assist of the match as he sauntered his way into the penalty box and found Andre Naulo running in open space toward the six yard box, the striker shooting first time to make it 4-2. Sadly, such a respectable scoreline wasn't to be as Kahala Murje was sent off in a valiant but poorly executed attempt to stop Love Holm from scoring, the Republic striker having rounded Laghiev on his way to shooting, and the striker then converting the penalty into a fifth goal for his team.

The omens weren't great for Sajnur at the Carl III Stadium. Sure, they were versing the Dragons and Bronies, a team with zero international experience. But this team had beat The Penguinland 2-0, and Sajnur would be playing with an all new defensive pairing of Hatu Raglan and Stefan Jana, as Tomasi Vuierev and Kahala Murje had both been suspended after the misery against the Free Republics. This new pairing had a poor start to life, condeding two goals in the first ten minutes, with Jana conceding a free kick in the third minute which was blasted in past Alek Khadur, and Hatu Raglan conceding a penalty in the 8th minute which was slotted into the top corner to make it 2-0 to a team which hadn't even submitted a roster. Sajnur hit back in the 19th minute as Zain Hasan shot from range past an ineffectual animalian keeper, and Andre Naulo exploited an ineffectual defence, running 50 yards past several opponents, including the keeper, to equalise. Sadly, the half would end with Sajnur behind as Raglan conceded another penalty and was sent off with a second yellow to boot. With Zain Hasan now having to cover acres of ground and Jana the lone centre back, the Dragons and Bronies actually found space and scored a goal in open play via a passing sequence which utilised their personnel advantage and put them 4-2 up. Eliseo Marinon responded by substituting David Kiral for Silja Jorse and Rowan Down for Kaori Hajat. With Hajat now accompanying Jana, Hasan was now free to go further forward and he used his renewed freedom to devastating effect, powering through the opposing defence and offloading a through pass to Ahmed Nazar who curled the ball into goal. It wasn't until the 81st minute, however, that Sajnur equalised as Silja Jorse ran onto a Jessica Siafik pass, outran the winger chasing her, and cut inside the fullback in front of her before launching straight into the bottom corner from the edge of the box, and Jorse then returned the favour at the end of normal time as she raced down the left wing and sliced a pass to an open Siafik to lob over the keeper for victory.

While the omens were bad for Matchday Three, it was the result that was bad for Matchday Four as the Arena der Alpen saw Bliuji hold off Sajnur in a crucial match to decide second spot. Unlike what the Bliujian papers say, Sajnur weren't "torn to shreds". The score was only 2-1 after all. However, it was still a vital win for Bliuji and a sore loss for Sajnur. Bliuji's win was created in the first half as Erik Belov scored one and created another. His goal came in the 33rd minute when Spartacus Yuriev received a Nikon Kotov long ball and knocked it onward to Belov, who shot low past Khadur to take the lead, and the half time score was made 2-0 in the 39th minute when Belov lofted a pass to Daniel Lyskov, the winger volleying the ball off the crossbar. Bliuji's win was secured in the second half with solid defending, something which Sajnur has so far lacked. The match was mired in the midfield for roughly the entire second half, save for a few minutes leading up to Sajnur's only goal, as an intricate passing sequence progressed its upfield, bamboozling the Bliujians, before substitute striker Basuli Maktar put Roman Aksakov on his back with an elastico and shot past Andriy Pyatov. Sadly, the blue and yellow uniforms were able to hold on until the end, and Sajnur now have very little margin for error for their final match against The Penguinland.

Sajnur v Dragons and Bronies


    Sajnur              5 - 4              Dragons and Bronies

 Hasan 19' (Nazar)                              #10 3'
 Naulo 33'                                          8' (p)
 Nazar 58' (Hasan)                                 43' (p)
 Jorse 81' (Siafik)                             #9 51' (#7)
Siafik 90' (Jorse)

Sajnur v Bliuji


    Sajnur               1 - 2             Bliuji

Maktar 75' (Tule)                       Belov 33' (Yuriev)
                                       Lyskov 39' (Belov)

[The Andromeda Archipelago]

The Andromeda Eagles vs. Reçueçn
Arena de Alpen
Heldingen, Reçueçn
Friday, November 10
5:30 pm

Hadassah ‘Hattie” Lowenthal is a freshman in her first semester at the University of Todd’s Cove. She is also a reserve midfielder on the Andromeda Eagles National Team.

Lowenthal sits in the locker room with the rest of her teammates awaiting the pre-game pep talk from the Coaching Staff.

As she waits, she thinks about just how far she and her teammates have come in these two months. When they had left Tamgu in August, they were winless. Now, they are undefeated in the IAC (2 wins and 2 draws) going into what will likely be the game of their lives so far.

Lowenthal thinks about her roommate, Erin Height. They are nothing alike. Lowenthal is driven. Height is easy-going. Lowenthal’s side of their room is neat. Erin’s side of the room is messy. It’s as if her roommate stepped straight out of the late 1960s. And yet, they complement each other.

Lowenthal also thinks about all the places they have visited since they came to Reçueçn. The Cathedral in Geneva. Chapel Hill in Reçueçn City. The brief hike in the Mountains. She thinks about the crisp Autumn air, which is cooler than anything she experienced back home.

There are a couple of things Lowenthal hasn’t liked about their trip. She didn’t like that Steve Young’s slip up in the 73rd minute prevented the Eagles from getting a precious third victory.

Lowenthal also doesn’t like Dolfo Martinez and his stupid story arc. Life doesn’t work like that. It hasn’t worked like that so far. Weren’t they supposed to win against Fujai? And yet, they escaped National Stadium with a draw.

They should have won.

The Coaches walk into the locker room. Coach Jones puts her iPhone in her pocket and shakes her head.

“Everyone, I just got done watching Andromeda Conservative Media’s Coverage this evening. I now remember why I don’t watch ACM.”

A few of the players laugh.

“This guy starts talking about this… this story arc. Like we were part of a TV movie or something.”

Lowenthal looks over to Martinez. He appears ashamed.

“He said that tonight would be the wake-up call for the Eagles. The previous four games were just a build up for when we would fold under the pressure of big-time soccer.”

Coach Jones gets more animated.

“And the media here? Unless you’re here in Heldingen, you wouldn’t even know we were playing tonight? The Media in both our countries acts as if we’re going to get stomped-on all over the place.”

“That ain’t right, Coach,” Phil Thomas yells.

The players start to chant “That ain’t right.” Coach Jones calms her players.

“They didn’t ask us about no story arc. If they did, I’d tell ‘em where they can put it!”

“Stuff their story arc,” another player says.

“I don’t care if we lose 20 to nothin. We ain’t gonna lay down and die because some so-called experts say so. We ain’t gonna roll over and die so that some Fantasy-football-playing, Surfin-Bird-lookin, mud duck on Andromeda Conservative Media can make sense of it all.”

“Flip the script on ‘em,” another player says.

“So, what we gonna do, Coach?” Coach Zimmerman gets in on the act.

“We’re going to go out there. We’re going to play our hearts out. We’re going to give as good as we get.”

Coach Jones’ speech builds up to its crescendo.

“The Unicorns will remember the Eagles. Reçueçn will find out who we are. And who the what are we?”

“We are Andromeda!”

The Eagles run out to the Arena der Alpen. The game of their lives awaits.