Sorority-centric vs. fraternity-centric casual sex?

[Saiwania]

Only things being in a frat got me was a sore ass and knowing a bunch of drunken reprobates who are either dead, in prison, or too far up their ass to recognize me.

I'm sorry if your fraternity didn't have any class. If you were in something like "Skull and Bones" like George W. Bush was, it might've helped your career connections later on. I've no idea. Not all fraternities are created equal. If its a bad one, maybe its no good for you. If it has good reputation, you might as well give it a chance.

[Galloism]

Not entirely.

The worst things said about dudes are by dudes making excuses for dudes.

[Citation Needed]

[Dumb Ideologies]

God you yanks are weird.

You voted to name a submarine "Boaty McBoatface".

Go sit in the corner.

What? It's a strong name.

[Galloism]

God you yanks are weird.

You voted to name a submarine "Boaty McBoatface".

Go sit in the corner.

A fine name for a ship.

[Scomagia]

You voted to name a submarine "Boaty McBoatface".

Go sit in the corner.

A fine name for a ship.

Shouldn't a ship be Shippy McShipface?

[Galloism]

A fine name for a ship.

Shouldn't a ship be Shippy McShipface?

That's the next one.

[Ethel mermania]

You voted to name a submarine "Boaty McBoatface".

Go sit in the corner.

What? It's a strong name.

You know what it is.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

I'd have thought it'd have been worth it to keep going if only because one's penis is inside a vagina, let alone the possible emotional pleasure of believing you're impressing her.

Otherwise... why is it that males are generally not known to reject females in the first place?

Societal norms and pressures. I've turned down sex and, by beer commercial standards I am not one who should turn down sex. And not because the person offering it was grosser than me, but because the situation wasn't right or I didn't feel it or whatever. I don't think I'm abnormal. I think by the time you're an adult you've had more than a few occasions where you weren't on the same page as someone else and that's just part of being a fucking adult. The other part is you don't talk about it. I don't go to my 'mates' (not English, don't know why I used that terminology) and go, "Yeah, this woman offered to share something very personal and intimate with me, making herself very vulnerable in the process and I went, 'Naaaaaahhhhh'...who's buying?" Because that's gross. But people do talk about conquest and conflate unquenchable desire with virility and so people fall into the trap of not wanting to appear like they're not virile and we end up with this tacit myth that a man will fuck anything and a woman is selective. But maybe we should stop that now.

That's the most interesting take on it I've seen on this on NSG in a while, and it's especially refreshing that you're willing to say it in a self depreciating context at the beggining of the paragraph instead of making it indistinguishable from an excuse to gloat.

It still leaves behind another few questions, though.

A. If unquenchable desire is conflated with virility, why is rap where the rappers act disinterested in the girls who are interested in him so popular?

B. What about why the girls aren't talking about it?

C. For me, it was the other way around. My middle school experience consists of being so obsessed with one girl that other girls' flirting was more annoying than tempting... at the time. Now that the fear of how child support law works is the only thing holding me back (and even that's just barely enough) my own middle school memories are counter-intuitive to me. (Although the fact that even the "you're not the only one" crowd gets my motives for my opinions wrong isn't helping.) Is this the kind of thing that comes back full circle or something?

[Hammer Britannia]

Is this really an issue?

Then again, it's NSG. We have had multiple threads about Pineapple on Pizza.

Overall, this OP just sounds like some kind of Incel wet dream and/or the start of a bad porno and is just... why?

Women can orgasm many times but men are one shot and that's it for half the day or longer.

Hate to use personal antidotes, but... I know you're wrong.

[Cekoviu]

Is this a thing that happens? I've never heard of that being popular.

You don't get your insights into college greek life from 80s sex comedies?

Tbh I don't get any insights about Greek life at all.

[Cekoviu]

Is this really an issue?

Then again, it's NSG. We have had multiple threads about Pineapple on Pizza.

Overall, this OP just sounds like some kind of Incel wet dream and/or the start of a bad porno and is just... why?

Women can orgasm many times but men are one shot and that's it for half the day or longer.

Hate to use personal antidotes, but... I know you're wrong.

It is really a case-by-case basis. Just depends on the person.

[Totally Not OEP]

So from what I've heard, the issue with fraternities these days is that although many fraternities invite a girl to their fraternity house to have sex with whichever guys there she's interested in, there are some fraternities that misuse this arrangement; and the fact that they outnumber her; to enable boys in that fraternity to sexually assault the same girls.

So why not gender-flip the arrangement? Why isn't it the norm for sororities to just invite a boy to their sorority house instead, so that the ones who are interested in him can take turns having sex with him, and that if he tries to sexually assault one who isn't, they outnumber him enough to prevent him from doing so? Sure, there's still the risk that they sexually assault him instead, but it's a lower one, not just because males have a reputation, among both sexes, for being less picky, and in turn less likely to be unwilling in the first place, but also because their reasons for saying no are typically limited to the risk of child support bills or STDs, which if he's accepting said invitation to the sorority house in the first place, that's obviously not enough to deter him. So what's the hesitation here?

What the absolute fuck

[Thepeopl]

That's the most interesting take on it I've seen on this on in a while, and it's especially refreshing that you're willing to say it in a self depreciating context at the beggining of the paragraph instead of making it indistinguishable from an excuse to gloat.

It still leaves behind another few questions, though.

A. If unquenchable desire is conflated with virility, why is rap where the rappers act disinterested in the girls who are interested in him so popular?

It is music. I hate disco was a very popular disco song in the 70ties.

B. What about why the girls aren't talking about it?

But they do, all the time. Just with girls, and not as much about how a boy spurned her, but more like he totally misread her intentions. Not all girls are comfortable with telling everyone they have been turned down.

C. For me, it was the other way around. My middle school experience consists of being so obsessed with one girl that other girls' flirting was more annoying than tempting... at the time. Now that the fear of how child support law works is the only thing holding me back (and even that's just barely enough) my own middle school memories are counter-intuitive to me. (Although the fact that even the "you're not the only one" crowd gets my motives for my opinions wrong isn't helping.) Is this the kind of thing that comes back full circle or something?

I don't understand this question.
Are you asking whether your willingness to have sex with 1/ a multitude is cyclical?

Or the fact that if you want to have sex with just 1, girls will flirt with you and if you are willing to have sex with everyone, they won't.

Or are you asking whether society will go back to monogamous values?

[Greed and Death]

God you yanks are weird.

Dont worry we will be 'Oversexed, overpaid and over there' shortly.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

But they do, all the time. Just with girls, and not as much about how a boy spurned her, but more like he totally misread her intentions. Not all girls are comfortable with telling everyone they have been turned down.

Then how do they make other girls believe that? Wouldn't they assume that if she was sure she wanted the guy she have could've made her intentions clearer?

Are you asking whether your willingness to have sex with 1/ a multitude is cyclical?

Not necessarily cyclical, just something that comes back later in adulthood to where it was in one's pre-teen years.

And I don't even mean 1 / a multitude, I mean "whoever wants him the most." Like, I would at some points in middle school avoid "girls who weren't my crush" by day, and watch porn in the evenings on the same days. To some people watching porn in a relationship is considered a form of cheating, yet I was watching porn outside of a relationship between moments of being too obsessed with one girl to let other girls who seemed to want me more have me. There are people within relationships who aren't that obsessed with their girl.

That said:

A: It literally didn't even occur to me to aim for a polyamorous relationship. I'm not even sure myself whether I unconsciously assumed my crush wouldn't be open to that or unconsciously assumed I'd feel bad about it even if she was.

B: I have no way of knowing whether her being more directly seductive instead of flirting would've changed my decision. Friendliness can be mistaken for flirting (and vice versa) so I wasn't sure whether fear of getting it wrong was also a factor.

People who dispute this "picky female non-picky male" narrative are usually the same people who meet "niceguyism" or negative stereotypes about cheerleaders with unwarranted certainty that the person expressing it motivated by "difficulty getting laid." But I find myself agreeing (partly) with said stereotypes/niceguyism despite having previously been in a position to reject girls, which made me think the people who were wrong about the motives for such opinions were therefore wrong about the "picky female non-picky male" narrative being wrong, therefore said narrative itself being right, despite my own personal experience being an exception to such stereotypes.

Quite the paradox, really.

[Diopolis]

But they do, all the time. Just with girls, and not as much about how a boy spurned her, but more like he totally misread her intentions. Not all girls are comfortable with telling everyone they have been turned down.

Then how do they make other girls believe that? Wouldn't they assume that if she was sure she wanted the guy she have could've made her intentions clearer?

Women tend to read social cues with a bit more subtlety than men. They tend to be more cautious and less brash and aggressive.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

Then how do they make other girls believe that? Wouldn't they assume that if she was sure she wanted the guy she have could've made her intentions clearer?

Women tend to read social cues with a bit more subtlety than men. They tend to be more cautious and less brash and aggressive.

There's nothing aggressive about expressing interest in someone, though. What have they to lose by being more straightforward?

[Chessmistress]

Women can orgasm many times but men are one shot and that's it for half the day or longer. If it wasn't this way for the men of our species, the seed wouldn't be strong enough to cause impregnation to occur for the women who can get pregnant via sexual intercourse.

Sorry, I can't stop laughing!

It's about half an hour, not half a day, for old men (over 50), and it's just few minutes for college-aged young men (under 25).

[Diopolis]

Women tend to read social cues with a bit more subtlety than men. They tend to be more cautious and less brash and aggressive.

There's nothing aggressive about expressing interest in someone, though. What have they to lose by being more straightforward?

Being seen as feminine. Most of us underestimate, drastically, how much of many people's behavior is basically about conforming to gender roles.

[Thepeopl]

Women tend to read social cues with a bit more subtlety than men. They tend to be more cautious and less brash and aggressive.

There's nothing aggressive about expressing interest in someone, though. What have they to lose by being more straightforward?

Ok, you have the situation that the girl will outright lie: don't bother with him, he is gay.
Then you have the case where she will turn it about, geesh, just chatting with the guy, he thinks I wanted to have sex!

If a girl to her very intimate friend, alone, she might honestly tell what happened and ask advise. Most probable the friend will support her and say: what a loser, turning you down. His loss.

Girls also tend to not outright tell boys they want to have sex with them, unless they're in a relationship or fwb.

And girls can be ignorant of how her signals are being interpreted. If a girl is talking to you, seriously listening and maybe have a boob brush your arm, that doesn't mean she wants to have sex. She might just be interested in what you are saying.

You have 2 kinds of cheating, physical and emotional. Men tend to think physical is worse. Women find emotional worse, generally speaking.
So porn is more like emotional cheating. You are watching/ paying attention to not your girl but a silly, unreal film. While you could have a conversation with your partner about how to decorate the shoe closet. Which is important for her, emotionally.

It also doesn't depict how women want to be treated. It won't show 20 minutes foreplay etc so watching porn alone won't teach you to be a better lover.

[Ethel mermania]

There's nothing aggressive about expressing interest in someone, though. What have they to lose by being more straightforward?

Being seen as feminine. Most of us underestimate, drastically, how much of many people's behavior is basically about conforming to gender roles.

I did date a girl in college who came out gay about 9 months after we dated; and i know a very gay drag queen who dated girls in HS until he figured out who he was...

Its anecdotal, and i think most people naturally conform to gender roles, but yeah I have seen it.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

Ok, you have the situation that the girl will outright lie: don't bother with him, he is gay.
Then you have the case where she will turn it about, geesh, just chatting with the guy, he thinks I wanted to have sex!

The problem with that isn't even that it's "aggressive," it's that it's slander.

I'm sure even a guy who'd turn a girl down appreciates the offer. No one appreciates being smeared.

If a girl to her very intimate friend, alone, she might honestly tell what happened and ask advise. Most probable the friend will support her and say: what a loser, turning you down. His loss.

And she can't be honest with anyone else because...?

Girls also tend to not outright tell boys they want to have sex with them, unless they're in a relationship or fwb.

And she wouldn't ask him for a relationship because...?

And girls can be ignorant of how her signals are being interpreted. If a girl is talking to you, seriously listening and maybe have a boob brush your arm, that doesn't mean she wants to have sex. She might just be interested in what you are saying.

Which is why if she wants sex, she should be more blatant about it so he isn't made out to be a guttermind for thinking it.

It also doesn't depict how women want to be treated.

That depends on the woman and the porn.

[Cekoviu]

You have 2 kinds of cheating, physical and emotional. Men tend to think physical is worse. Women find emotional worse, generally speaking.
So porn is more like emotional cheating. You are watching/ paying attention to not your girl but a silly, unreal film. While you could have a conversation with your partner about how to decorate the shoe closet. Which is important for her, emotionally.

It also doesn't depict how women want to be treated. It won't show 20 minutes foreplay etc so watching porn alone won't teach you to be a better lover.

Gee, I wonder why so many women watch porn and read erotica, then. It certainly couldn't be because they'd like to be in those situations.

[Thepeopl]

Ok, you have the situation that the girl will outright lie: don't bother with him, he is gay.
Then you have the case where she will turn it about, geesh, just chatting with the guy, he thinks I wanted to have sex!

The problem with that isn't even that it's "aggressive," it's that it's slander.

I'm sure even a guy who'd turn a girl down appreciates the offer. No one appreciates being smeared.

Nobody likes to admit failure. Girls can be brutal. Slut shaming is happening between girls a lot. They are also very competitive. Girls "have to" look great, stay attractive and be successful in attracting a good relationship.

And it depends on how the boy turned her down. Was he kind about it, she might just tell her best friend, the one she trusts. If he was rude or denigrating , she will retaliate.

If a girl to her very intimate friend, alone, she might honestly tell what happened and ask advise. Most probable the friend will support her and say: what a loser, turning you down. His loss.

And she can't be honest with anyone else because...?

See above.

Girls also tend to not outright tell boys they want to have sex with them, unless they're in a relationship or fwb.

And she wouldn't ask him for a relationship because...?

Gender roles. I hope that next generation will improve but as I look at my 4 year old, she had a preference for green and monsters/ animals (till the age of 3) but now, due to peer pressure, she will pick pink and no animals. Because that is for boys, girls have to be pink.
I did not teach her that.

And girls can be ignorant of how her signals are being interpreted. If a girl is talking to you, seriously listening and maybe have a boob brush your arm, that doesn't mean she wants to have sex. She might just be interested in what you are saying.

Which is why if she wants sex, she should be more blatant about it so he isn't made out to be a guttermind for thinking it.

Did you not read? She isn't aware of the signals she us sending. She doesn't want to have sex. She is just engaged in the conversation.

It also doesn't depict how women want to be treated.

That depends on the woman and the porn.

Most porn is made by men, for men.
Most porn watched by girls is where the man is doing the utmost to pleasure the woman, making sure she is aroused. "Male porn" will mostly focus on the pumping action, not the seductive side nor the foreplay.
And ofcourse porn can help getting your body into a aroused state. The female body will start preparing for sex(pumping extra blood to the genital areas) when watching apes copulate. That doesn't mean she wants to have sex like that.

Girls erotica is mostly fifty shades of grey and a bucket load of bouquet trash novels. At least that was in my days. Not a big reader of erotica anymore.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

Nobody likes to admit failure. Girls can be brutal. Slut shaming is happening between girls a lot. They are also very competitive. Girls "have to" look great, stay attractive and be successful in attracting a good relationship.

And it depends on how the boy turned her down. Was he kind about it, she might just tell her best friend, the one she trusts. If he was rude or denigrating , she will retaliate.



See above.




Gender roles. I hope that next generation will improve but as I look at my 4 year old, she had a preference for green and monsters/ animals (till the age of 3) but now, due to peer pressure, she will pick pink and no animals. Because that is for boys, girls have to be pink.
I did not teach her that.



Did you not read? She isn't aware of the signals she us sending. She doesn't want to have sex. She is just engaged in the conversation.


That depends on the woman and the porn.

Most porn is made by men, for men.
Most porn watched by girls is where the man is doing the utmost to pleasure the woman, making sure she is aroused. "Male porn" will mostly focus on the pumping action, not the seductive side nor the foreplay.
And ofcourse porn can help getting your body into a aroused state. The female body will start preparing for sex(pumping extra blood to the genital areas) when watching apes copulate. That doesn't mean she wants to have sex like that.

Girls erotica is mostly fifty shades of grey and a bucket load of bouquet trash novels. At least that was in my days. Not a big reader of erotica anymore.

It doesn't matter who makes the porn, but for whom the porn is made. Just like with any media.

The question is; with something so taboo and restricted, how in the world are market researchers supposed to predict which sex will be the one driving demand for which subsets of erotic/pornographic content?