Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “global core” used in the media. Maybe you haven’t because you don’t read propaganda rags. Either / or is quite alright, because here at the Nibbler, it’s our job to educate the public on the real issues (even when certain people claim they ignore us because we’re not real news). Forget what you think you know about the Global Core. We’re about to get knee deep in some real shit and expose the soft underbelly of what the Global Core really is. Welcome to this Global Core Edition of the Nibbler!
The Global Core in Geopolitics
Global Core people yay?
The Global Core is a geopolitical axis made famous in Yisraeli media to describe nations that are ostensibly white (even though people in Sydalon are various shades of brown, which is okay because we think brown women are hot). This includes Belisaria (the nexus point of vanilla white people from vanilla white nations), Northern Scipia (home of light-skinned brown people and jews) and Ghant (who are so white that white people think they’re too white. Go figure). The idea is that the Global Core nations are the world leaders in geopolitics, military and economic affairs (the only affairs Ghant is a leader in are extramarital).
We here at the Nibbler understand that there is, simply put, a superficial white exceptionalism stereotype at play here. This belief that somehow, white people are special, noble harbingers of civilization and they show the rest of the world the way. An ironic belief, considering that northern Ghant is so backward that a large segment of the population spends an exorbitant amount time collecting and burning dung in order to avoid freezing to death (with a junior hockey league team even going by the name of the Mondyn Dungsters).
Simply put, the nations in the Global Core don’t really have that much in common (aside from some religious commonalities, again with the exception of northern Ghant, which still worship magical trees). It almost seems forced…until you look at it a different way. You see, what if the Global Core isn’t a concept…but an actual place. A real place that a person can go to (in theory), then it makes way more sense. But where is this Global Core, you ask? At the center of the world.
The Global Core isn’t an axis. It’s a place!
The Global Core is at the center of the world. Woah!
The Global Core is the part of the world at the center of our planet. It has a solid inner core and a liquid outer core. The outer core of the world is a liquid layer about 2,260 kilometers thick. It is made of iron and nickel (no dimes or quarters, unfortunately). This is above the world’s solid inner core and below the mantle. Its outer boundary is 2,890 km (1,800 mi) beneath the planet's surface. The transition between the inner core and outer core is approximately 5,000 km (3,100 mi) beneath the planet's surface.
The temperature of the outer core ranges from 4400 °C in the outer regions to 6100 °C near the inner core (hotter than the Emperor of Ghant’s love life). Eddy currents in the nickel iron fluid of the outer core are believed to influence the planet’s magnetic field. The average magnetic field strength in the planet's outer core is 25 Gauss, 50 times stronger than the magnetic field at the surface. Without the outer core, life on the planet would be very different. Convection of liquid metals in the outer core creates the planet's magnetic field. This magnetic field extends outward from the world for several thousand kilometers, and creates a protective magnetosphere around the world that deflects the Sun's solar wind. Without this field, the solar wind would directly strike the planet's atmosphere. This might have removed the planet's atmosphere, making the planet nearly lifeless (so basically Thule).
Meanwhile, the inner core of the world, as detected by seismology, is a solid sphere about 1,216 km (760 mi) in radius, or about 70% that of the Moon. It is believed to be an iron–nickel alloy, and may have a temperature similar to the Sun's surface, about 5778 K (5505 °C). Scientists have suggested that the inner core has two layers. The seismic wave data suggests that crystals in the "inner inner core" (we would’ve preferred the Global Core Core but alas) are in an east-to-west direction. Those in the "outer inner core" are lined up north to south. Another scientist commented: "If this is true, it would imply that something very substantial happened to flip the orientation of the core to turn the alignment of crystals in the inner core north-south as is seen today in its outer parts" (Gail in HR had really bad gas the other day from eating Mutulese food, so that could’ve been it). Other scientists are checking their data.
What’s at the Global Core?
It takes some serious drills shaped like dildos to penetrate deep…into the planet’s crust.
The truth is always stranger than fiction. According to this “theory,” the planet is hollow on the inside (or at least some parts of it). “Located at 84.84 degrees North and South Latitude are Polar Openings that lead into the hollow interior of our planet where the Lost Ten Tribes of Ysrael today dwell in perfect harmony, with life spans equal to those of the Methuselahs of the Bible, whose only desire is to live in peace. Their flying saucers in defense of their country at times are seen on our surface world. They don't come to destroy, they are waiting...”
Seriously though, while the above link sounds like a bunch of bullshit, what if there’s something in the Global Core? A civilization perhaps, a race of beings that certain surface dwellers care a great deal about (here’s looking at you, Yisraeli media). What are their connection with white people on the surface? The reality of the situation could actually be quite sinister.
There’s been a decent number of science fiction and horror stories about malevolent beings that live beneath the planet’s surface. Ghant is conspicuously rich with such tales, including legends of tribes of Ghantar that got lost in caves and couldn’t find their way out. So they stayed down there and bred, and generations of them lived and died underground, creating a race of monster-men that devour anything they can find. Some stories even say that these beings eventually found their way back to the surface world, where they hunt men for their flesh and catch women to reproduce with.
If the truth is stranger than fiction, than the pretty lie is better than the ugly truth. The ugly truth could very well be that there is an ancient, and powerful race of beings that live beneath the world’s surface at its core…the Global Core, and it is the opinions, beliefs and values of these beings that drives the surface world forward. If all of the surface “Global Core” consist of nations of predominantly white people, then one must also assume that the actual Global Core is inhabited by beings with white skin.
Which brings us to our last, great assertion. White people in the world are the mutant descendants of subterranean beings who seek to dominate the surface world. All of those edgy black people were actually right all along. White people are mutant freaks with unnatural origins that deliberately impose their will upon the rest of the human race. Quick, Oxidentale, do something with this information (oh wait that’s right, you guys don’t read the Nibbler. Well shit I guess we’re all fucked).
The Master Race
The original white people, from the Global Core.
For simplicity’s sake, let’s call these underground people the Morlocks. The Morlocks have lived at the Global Core for thousands of years, and while they may be extraterrestrial in origin, it’s more likely that they and surface humans share a common evolutionary ancestor. This common ancestor had some descendants that evolved on the surface (non-white people) and one that evolved at the Global Core (white people). These subterranean people, aka Morlocks, have an agenda to dominate life on the surface. But why?
I think the answer is pretty straightforward. It’s due to a combination of desiring control and envy / lust for brown people. Seriously, just ask yourself, how many white men do you know are attracted to brown women? We know quite a few here at the Nibbler (here’s looking at you, Michael of Dakmoor). The Morlocks are clearly lacking in diversified DNA. How many monarchies in the world are Belisarian in origin, and how many of them breed with their second cousins? Most of them, and why is that? To keep the bloodlines pure.
Though clearly not all of them want / like that. Men want what they do not have. To taste the forbidden fruit…cue exotic tan women. Fresh, divergent DNA that’ll make any crusty Morlock’s bedrock (see what we did there?). When in doubt, most of the world’s problems originate with women, so maybe that’s what the Global Core is all about. The subterranean world’s covetous pining for fresh meat.
In Conclusion
The Morlocks need love too.
Next time you’re cruising through the internet or just reading the news and you come across the phrase “Global Core,” realize that it’s code with a hidden meaning. It doesn’t mean what you think it does…it isn’t about Ghant-Belisaria-Northern Scipia persay, but about the actual, literal Global Core at the center of the planet. There you will find a race of advanced, yet primitive ancestor of white people called the Morlocks. They want to do a few things. Control the surface world to maintain their power structure, exploit it for their natural resources, and slake their lusts upon brown women.
That’s it, simple as that. So next time you see an exotic woman from Oxidentale, Southern Scipia or Ochran and think “Holy shit she’s hot” realize that it’s your inner Morlock speaking, reaching out from the deepest recesses of your mutant DNA. That’s all we have for you today, and thanks for reading. Oh and remember all you white people, you just got Nibbled!
Because we know you have nothing better to do.
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