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Eura
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1408
Founded: Apr 12, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby Eura » Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:38 pm

emplor.eur/main/worldnews
YARLEY'S LANDSLIDE: COMMENTARY FROM ACROSS THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM
Following the Liberal landslide, we ask a number of political and media figures for their views

'A historic triumph that leaves the Prime Minister unassailable' - Genevieve Rhodes

In the forty-five years I have been writing about politics and reporting on some of the greatest breakthroughs in Eura's progress as a society and democracy, nothing pleased me more than to see a truly modern campaign, led by a woman, batter down the old guard of the Euran establishment. Within her own party, the military, the other parties and the media, she has seen off every threat to her project from a body politic that was out to get her from the moment she stood as an MP. Ambitious and not a bloke? Good luck, said Eura's gray suited class of professional naysayers - and she accepted the challenge with relish.

Its true that Michael Judge laid the framework for Yarley with his statesmanlike management of the war with the Sameba in its early years. But she has been the key instrument of the Liberal Party for the best part of a decade and a half now, and its time that she moved out of his shadow. The comfortable majority enjoyed by the Liberals should provide more than adequate scope to transform this country in desperately needed ways, from reforming our electoral system to rebuilding our wartorn economy. Some have asked if the "Yarley consensus" will be a passing phenomenon. Make no mistake, that is not the case. This is only the beginning of a golden age.

Genevieve Rhodes is an Emplor columnist

'Yarley reigns supreme - but the legacy of wartime could make victory bittersweet' - Nathan Ramsdale

Time moves slowly in Euran politics. That's what I was taught anyway. But does it still? To give credit to the Prime Minister, she has essentially upended the rules of our political system over the last decade both as Foreign Secretary and PM. Now her party is experiencing a level of electoral success that it couldn't have dreamed of until recently. However it is important not to get carried away and forget that like all leaders she is subject to the power of circumstances.

Eura has not fully recovered from the war. Millions died, far more fled, and the shock it delivered to our economy has rippled throughout Rushmore. Despite all her ambition and talk of momentous change, it is more likely that Yarley will spend the majority of her time in his office dealing with these after affects. And what of Sameba? The region (not a country anymore, not officially) remains ungovernable and thousands are dying in the chaos. It is a black mark on Eura's reputation that Yarley must lead on resolving. To become a true great she must learn from the old adage of Eura's most famous statesman, Lord Baker; "to challenge the mantle of power is nothing to what it is to wield it".

Nathan Ramsdale is the Emplor's chief political correspondent

'The Social Party faces an existential danger. It must reform' - David Lennon

If any party must learn something urgent from this dominant Liberal election performance, it is the Social Party. Eura's traditional party of government and the bastion of the broad spectrum of Eura's left has been decimated. It represents barely a sixth of the country in seats and a fifth in vote share. This is not enough for a party that I was proud to serve as a politician, and have covered extensively as a journalist. Somebody has to take responsibility and unfortunately that must be the leader Roger Grayson. I admit we are not from the same cloth in terms of factional alignment. But we both know that the Social Party's long term success comes from it's ability to change with the circumstances.

Roger is a fine man but his limitations have been made clear by this campaign and his ideas are to the left of where the country is heading. He needs a younger and fresher replacement. They need to be able to appeal to a broader range of the electorate without alienating the core support. More importantly the party around them needs to be given an upheaval from top to bottom. It is unsustainable to continue with a situation where a leftwing leadership and the unions are in engaged in a three way battle between themselves, the more centrist-leaning membership which has dwindled in recent years, and a badly divided parliamentary party. The party must rediscover its unity if it is to take power again any time soon, and come up with a progressive, social justice driven narrative to challenge the rapidly emerging Liberal led consensus.

David Lennon is the political editor of the Directus Post and a former Social Party MP

'This neoliberal victory is a temporary and overstated setback for radical politics - but Grayson must go' - Morris Grover

I won't lie to the readers; this election was a devastating experience for me and hundreds of millions of others who were inspired by the message of Roger Grayson and the Social Party. The last election defeat was obviously bad but came in the context of a war, where the people wanted to support the standing government. No-one could seriously blame the Social Party's new radical direction for its defeat. On this occasion we expected to do a lot better and to at least reduce this callous Liberal government to a minority now that there is no war to paper over the cracks. This would set the template for finally overturning this establishment-in-disguise edifice before long. Sadly this result has not transpired and for that reason Grayson should quit. He should hand over the reins to a younger, baggage free spokesperson for radical change.

It can't be denied that, unfortunately, Amy Yarley and her party have clearly gained further popularity, and look set to rule with an enormous mandate for five years. When we've seen her blatant disregard for human life in the conduct of warfare she orders, how can any true progressive not worry about the future? Yet I would urge the many supporters of our movement out there who have felt desolate this week to take heart from the fact that our ideas cannot be defeated by one general election result. We were the most popular party among the young and the agenda we offer, the most transformative socialist agenda proposed by the Social Party for half a century, is only the starting point of a generational project to put power in the hands of the people. So let's bear the brunt of the coming onslaught from the mainstream media and the bedfellows of neoliberalism. We've taken it before and will again.

Morris Grover is a columnist for the Brigham Herald and a Social Party activist

'This election was capital punishment for the Capital Party. How can they revive a corpse?' - Layla Ramsey

I remember that when I was fresh out of university, a little known Capital Party MP by the name of Jonathan Crow was running for the leadership. Barely fifteen or so years later and look what remains of his project to detoxify his party and make it a force of government again. He transpired to be an opportunist and chancer, brought into government only by seizing on the enormous complacency of the allegedly unbeatable centrist version of the Social Party triggering their own downfall, and then limping into power off the back of a sizeable Liberal minority. The modernisers were discredited and shuffled off the mortal coil of politics by the international outrage surrounding the Askoy Crisis. Crow was lucky to avoid prison as his government collapsed to be replaced by its junior partner. The flashy but incompetent Crow? Gone. In came technocrat in chief Michael Judge.

Then Lathersby and the right wingers took over. Desperate to remain relevant, they threw the kitchen sink at Yarley's government while engaging in actual subterfuge against it over the border crisis with Electrum. Moderates abandoned the party quite literally with the one-election wonder that was One Nation Capital. Moderate voters either joined this projected or jumped ship for the Liberals. Working class Capital voters in cities like Bastion - remember them? - voted for the Social Party and an avowedly socialist leader because their traditional party utterly lost touch with them. The result was the utter embarrassment of the last four elections. Only now are the shoots of recovery growing with a minor gain in seats, but it is not enough. There is no sign of a long term recovery to be a party of power. Diagnosis? Dead as a dodo. Time of death? Maybe Crow's leadership was the real starting point.

Layla Ramsey is an Emplor columnist

'A victory for the Liberal Party is a victory for Rushmore' - Anthony Carberry

Not many pundits have been willing to say it but Amy Yarley and the Liberal's outstanding victory is as much about the Common Rushnmori Community as it is the war or her leadership. When they won the argument in favour of the CRC they won over the country. Entry into this body represents Eura's future, and a vision of what we want to be; regional leaders and much more. In contrast, what did the other parties actually offer on foreign policy let alone the issue of our regional political union? The right wing fetishised military imperialism and spent the whole campaign telling everyone how, if they'd run the war effort, the body count would be way higher, like that is what the Euran people really care about. And what of the Euran left? Seriously, what of them? They were too busy talking about lowering the legal strike ballot threshold to notice that 65% of voters under 50 wanted the Social Party to advocate for CRC membership. They did so with about as much passion as a wet flannel!

The Liberals have five years now to set the agenda and the CRC must be absolutely central to their efforts to mould the nation in their image. Its a vehicle for exactly the kind of values they have espoused on their route to power, and a mechanism through which to force subsequent governments to maintain Liberal defined standards on workers rights and the environment. It is also a unique device for spreading Euran influence and enhancing Euran regional leadership. We can lead the CRC in all but name if this government is willing to do so. From everything we have seen of them it seems that is exactly what they intend to do. That can only be good for the region which, thanks to the reckless suicidal Sameban regime, has been short of a nation willing to stand up for the regional interest for too long.

Anthony Carberry is a freelance political writer and sits on the board of the Eura Via Rushmore thinktank

'Eura's democracy is under mortal threat from the Liberal peril' - Julia Osprey

Has anyone else woke up and smelled the coffee yet? Eura's media and political establishment are gushing among themselves at the moment to lavish praise on the new Liberal order. Its an order that isn't new, nor is it liberal in the sense that actually deserves any praise! Let's examine the reality here because some real talk is in short supply. A dangerously authoritarian Prime Minister sits in office, operating outside of the law in areas ranging from constitutional matters to extrajudicial killings abroad. Frequent red flags indicate Amy Yarley is about as trustworthy as the late Emile Gartanzo's smile. The small number of seats held by my party and the Social Party due to First Past The Post makes co-ordinated opposition extremely difficult. To top it all off, she is taking us into an undemocratic vehicle of globalisation and cultural takeover by foreign elements, the CRC, that we were not given a referendum on which to decide if we actually wanted to join at all.

Some have opined that we have under performed at this election because we were too right wing for much of the last parliament, or in the words of your paper, "nativist", compared to our roots as the party of business. This is not true. The "nativist" parties in this country (EIP, ENP, Unionist and such) are minority parties who have retained most of their core vote. We are increasingly the party of the sensible and too often silent backbone of society. Taxpayers, homeowners, business owners, the people who actually make this country great. We gained seats after several disastrous elections for a reason. In my constituency which has historically voted Social, the honest working people of Ironchester threw out the loony left incumbents and saw off the challenge from a servile Liberal opponent whose chief achievement is ripping off our government as a human rights lawyer. They voted for me and the Capital banner because we are the party of common sense. Once the sheen has come off this soulless government we will see who the real silent majority are.

Julia Osprey is the newly elected Capital Party MP for Ironchester South and the chair of the Sovereignty Goup of Capital MPs

'Huzzah! The war of ideas is over. Maybe we can shut up about politics for a bit?' - Jeremy Hamish-Bottomley

Its over now. The ballot boxes are tucked away, the pundits have returned to their day to day anonymity outside of election time. Civil servants can go back to their day job of being the living embodiment of the colour beige. You don't have to worry anymore because Dear Leader Ms Yarley is going to lead us down the path to prosperity. She is firmly in charge. And she's a woman. How modern! Opposition? Nah, no need for that. You'll only get any if the raving socialists and predatory venture capitalists of the Social and Capital parties somehow manage to work together. That's not likely while water is wet and God is Euran. I'm not sure anyone even remembers other parties exist either. Its not like they would make much difference. All of that might be playing on your mind but just remember, to be absolutely clear, its over.

There's many ways you can distract yourself from what comes next. If you subscribe to anything other than the Liberal Party you may as well take up some kind of hobby, because the next five years are going to be a total write off. I''m pretty sure Roger Grayson is already counting badgers and Catherine Lathersby 2.0 - sorry, I mean, "Matthew Montague" - is no doubt building a MicroTransport model of the taxi he'll be getting after the Capital party conference. If you're a Liberal diehard you can maybe take up baking, because it can serve as a symbolic reminder that your beloved party's cake and eat it policies won't last long in government. Then you can use it to celebrate when the next election comes along because at this rate the Liberals are going to win that one too. And if you're a non-Euran reading this article then you can go back to paying attention to your own nation's affairs. No doubt they are less of a one horse race and more exciting. How anyone can get hyped up for another Euran election after the far more engrossing drama and bloodshed of the past decade is beyond comprehension.

Jeremy Hamish-Bottomley is a satirist and author of the bestselling pre-war book 'Euraucracy: Inside Rushmore's Overpopulated Pantomime'
Last edited by Eura on Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:45 pm, edited 4 times in total.
United Federation of Eura - Sporting achievements
Champions: WC66, WC73, CR23, CR27, CR34, CoH 85, Market Cup I, Next Generation Trophy, Gold Medal (Mens Football) Olympics IX
Runner up: WC60, WC72, WC78, CR16, CR20, CR32, CR44, CoH51, COH79
Host: CR24, CR37, BoF60, CR Under 21's and Under 17's



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Cosumar
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14337
Founded: May 14, 2010
Ex-Nation

Postby Cosumar » Thu Mar 14, 2019 3:41 pm

Image

Here Be Dragons


If you don't get that big win, blame it on Lucifer

MD5 Cutoff for Groups 1-7
Qualified: World Cups 54-59, 62, 73-83
President, World Lacrosse Fed.
World Bowl VP

Champions: DBC 35/44/45, AOCAF 54, Eagle Cup VII, WCoH 33, CoH 64, IBC 18, NSCF 10/11/15/16, WLC 20/21/26, Arena Bowl I & III
2nd Place: AOCAF 57, NSCF 13, WBC 34, WLC 12/19/23, AOHC VI, Arena Bowl V
3rd Place: AOCAF 55, CoH 45 & 62, WLC 18 & 24, BoI VI

Host: WC 78 & 82, CoH 69 & 74, BoF 62, World Bowl 27, WLC 20, Beach Cup II & V
NEWSWIRE
Your friendly neighborhood Metalhead
Last.fm | RYM | Essential Cosumarcore
Political Compass
U of Texas grad livin in NC
Dallas sports
Secularist, Environmentalist, LGBT/BLM/feminist ally, Whovian
Author, Issue 319: Sizing Up The Competition

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Krytenia
Senator
 
Posts: 4551
Founded: Apr 22, 2004
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Krytenia » Thu Mar 14, 2019 4:26 pm

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By Rami Niblick in Tyfield

RUMOURS of the Dragons' demise may well be a little premature. Admittedly, there'll be sterner tests than Kandorith - and still plenty of time for the wheels to fall off completely - but as Knott Crescent welcomed the national team for the first time in many years, it is at least a step in the right direction as Krytenia claimed the full three points for the first time in this campaign.

Their opponents' cautious approach certainly helped. Kandorith, whilst not exactly setting their stall out to defend, lacked the hurrying and harrying style of the likes of Mercedini. With Roberto Juliano allowed time to pull the strings, and the Hansen twins given space to create chances, Krytenia made the early running. Player-manager-captain Valrauncion, fresh from criticism over his approach against Mercedini, had the first real chance of the game. Hideyo Kiyotada, though, is a canny keeper, and he saved the elf's low shot smartly. Krytenia, though, had found a chink in the armour of the Kandorith back three. Joshua Coquelin was instrumental in this, marauding just in front of the defensive line and pulling defenders out of position. On twenty-four minutes, one such run managed to sell to both Hideyoshi Takahashi and Ando Masatake, leaving Chris Naismith all the time in the world to chest down a Jake Hansen pass and smash it past a stricken Kiyotada. The Dragons, wary of what had happened in previous games, were more patient on the ball in the centre of the park after this, leading to some discussion late in the first half as Valrauncion and Juliano had what appeared to be a difference of tactical opinion.

Valrauncion emerged for the second half on the touchline rather than the field, replacing himself with Callum Quiroga and Juliano with Freddie Hames. The Mercia Bromham man, relishing the chance to prove his worth on the international stage, upped the pace in midfield, moving the ball quickly to Coquelin or the Hansens with aplomb. This did, however, allow Kandorith to assert themselves on the game, as More Tomura found his style easier to deal with. One such tackle saw the ball fall to captain Hiro Tanaka, and his quick thinking released Masada Tanako with space to beat the Dragons' back line and smash the ball home, albeit with a touch of the fingertips from a desperately diving Marcus Washington.

Hames, though, was a man on a mission. As the game neared its conclusion, he played a nice one-two with Joe Hansen, skillfully beat Takahashi, and advanced on the Kandorith keeper; as he rushed out, he calmly slotted the ball square to Coquelin, who tapped the ball into the empty net. A late scare saw Matthew Gray clear a Mastake header off the line from a corner, but Krytenia held on to a win that leaves them sixth in the table, just four points shy of a qualifying spot.

The post-mortem, then, suggests that it may have been a win in spite of, rather than because of, Valrauncion's tactics; certainly, if Juliano's substitution is anything to go by, it's a big possibility that all is not well in the dressing room. Nevertheless, the momentum is with the Dragons as they go into a make-or-break game in Canterlot. Let's hope the Dragons don't end up being completely pony in that one. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 2
Naismith 24
Coquelin 89


KANDORITH - 1
Tanako 57
"I revel in the nonsense; it's why I'm in Anaia."
Capital: Emberton ⍟ RP Population: ~180,000,000 ⍟ Trigram: KRY ⍟ iTLD: .kt ⍟ Demonym: Krytenian, Krytie (inf.)
Languages: English (de jure), Spanish, French, Welsh (regional)

Hosts: Cup of Harmony 7, AOCAF 1, Cup of Harmony 15, World Cup 24, AOCAF 13, World Cup 29, AOCAF 17, AOCAF 23, World Cup 40, Cup of Harmony 32, Baptism of Fire 32, AOCAF 27, Baptism of Fire 36, World Cup 50, Baptism of Fire 40, Cup of Harmony 64, AOCAF 48, World Cup 75, AOCAF 40, Cup of Harmony 80, CAFA 2
Champions: AOCAF 52, Cup of Harmony 78, CAFA 6
Runner-Up: AOCAF 7, World Cup 58, Cup of Harmony 80, CAFA 1
Creator, AOCAF & Cygnus Cup - Host, VI Winter Olympics (Ashton) & VII Summer Olympics (Emberton)

User avatar
Eraman
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 467
Founded: Aug 28, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Eraman » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:26 pm

____________________THE MOST TRUSTED NATIONAL NEWSPAPER____________________
DAILY NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR DAULAPURA DAILY daulapuradaily.gov.erm/sports

SPORTS EDITION

KITCHI DIMAN SATISFIED DESPITE DEFEAT


Ferdullaele, Farfadillis - Eraman felt to a humbling defeat in
the fifth game of Group 11 World Cup qualifiers at the hand of
former World Cup semi-finalist and three times Atlantian
Oceania champion, Farfadillis.


The Ebony Falcons lost to Farfadillis away from home with a
scoreline of 2 without reply.


National team head coach, Kitchi Diman insisted that he is
satisfied with the performance of his players despite the
defeat.


He added, the players were able to create opportunities and
defended really well to avoid a trashing from the clearly
much better side despite the huge differences between the
two team.


"All credits must be given to the players for matching up
against the group favourite."
RESULTS
WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS

Farfadillis 2-0 Eraman

SCORERS
Holsteiner, 31
Êns, 65









Image
Eraman starting line up at Farfadillis
Trigramme: ERM | Demonym: Eramanian | Population: 14,753,910
Info: Wiki | Sports: Liga Eraman

Daulapura Daily
- based in Daulapura, the royal capital
- government-owned and ruling party propaganda
- support Royal Daulapura FC
Eraman Journal
- based in Anara, the capital city
- by the peasants, for the peasants (actually by the millionaires, for the masses)
- support Anara FC

User avatar
Eraman
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 467
Founded: Aug 28, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Eraman » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:33 pm

____________________THE MOST TRUSTED NATIONAL NEWSPAPER____________________
DAILY NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR DAULAPURA DAILY daulapuradaily.gov.erm/sports

SPORTS EDITION

BENEFIT OF YEARS PLAYING TOGETHER

Daulapura, Eraman - National team head coach, Kitchi Diman expects the hot
young prospects from Royal Daulapura to step up against the 67th Baptism of
Fire champion, Beepee for the national team.

Beepee is a formidable opponent having finished 3rd out of 10 in the last
World Cup qualifying but Kitchi Diman is confident in his boys.

"A good understanding between the players is really helpful especially
in the build up play"

"It is not just inside the field, we can see them as a big family outside
of the field and this is our strength so far." he said when contacted
yesterday.

The current national team squad comprises of Royal Daulapura teammates who
have been playing together through the age group
COLUMN
GUY BEHIND THE BENCH

KEEP POLITICIANS OUT OF FOOTBALL

With the general election coming soon, there
have been a trend of politicians buying
football clubs around the country. This is
clearly an attempt of vote buying.

Politicians should never use football for
personal political interest. The sport is a
tool to unite the country. The attempt by
certain politicians to use football to turn
the people of Eraman against each other is
hideous.

In fact, the tragedy at Eastfield Lodge is
clearly caused by greedy politicians trying to
lure national team players to their respective
clubs and turning them against the national
football association.

Therefore, the whole nation should voice our
rejection to politicians who used football for
personal agenda through the ballot in the next
general election.

Football is the sport of the people and the
best person to lead the people is the Bendahara
of Eraman, Tun Sengalang Petara.


Re-elect Tun Sengalang Petara!




















ERA HITAM TO START

Daulapura, Eraman - Kitchi Diman is set to give Era Hitam a start in the
match against Beepee today. Era Hitam came on for the last 2 games as a
substitute and scored a goal against Melbergia.

However, Kitchi Diman insists that the decision to drop Anri Limus is not
because he is not good. The striker started in the first five games of the
national team qualifying matches.

"Both strikers are good but I want to give Era Hitam the chance to improve
his performance and confidence by playing international matches. I also
make this decision as I don't want to rely solely on Anri Limus for goals
and I want both strikers to be ready to play at anytime."
Last edited by Eraman on Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Trigramme: ERM | Demonym: Eramanian | Population: 14,753,910
Info: Wiki | Sports: Liga Eraman

Daulapura Daily
- based in Daulapura, the royal capital
- government-owned and ruling party propaganda
- support Royal Daulapura FC
Eraman Journal
- based in Anara, the capital city
- by the peasants, for the peasants (actually by the millionaires, for the masses)
- support Anara FC

User avatar
Mytanija
Diplomat
 
Posts: 791
Founded: Jul 20, 2018
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Mytanija » Thu Mar 14, 2019 5:56 pm

Continued from here.

Dear Elena,

It is first important to understand that I do not see robbery simply as a crime, but as an act of imagination. The very fact that it is unlawful is something that makes it difficult and this fact therefore requires a certain level of creativity, an intelligent workaround, so that one may commit the crime and come out of it the other side… With the objects that you desire.

The object to be taken is of vital importance. For a plan to be executed thoroughly and – if thoroughly, you would hope – successfully, the object has to be something you actually want. It is no good trying to steal something for someone else, assignments don’t work, and if your heart isn’t in it you will not be successful. You will miss things and make mistakes, every error will be magnified because the object is not the object of your desire. For me, it has always been an aesthetic desire; artwork, certain paintings, can provoke me like an emotional shock.

As soon as you lose that desire, things go badly wrong. The desire can be for pretty much anything: if you are like me it may be art, for others it may be money or jewellery, sometimes people steal vital documents. Whatever it is, as long as it is what you truly desire or even
need, then you are halfway towards being successful. That is when the other part of the operation has to kick into gear. You must plan forensically. You must stake out the location and work in minute detail to understand the movements of the surrounding areas so that when you move in you seem as if you are meant to be there, part of the furniture, so to speak.

This is also important. People don’t like change and they understand the minutiae of their locality better than anybody else. They will see things a stranger would not. If you’re walking down the street scouting a specific property, someone may be looking from an upstairs window and see you. They may notify the police, if they’re particularly suspicious, or they may notify a neighbourhood watch committee if the area has one. At the very least they may keep an eye out, or tell the owner of the property that somebody was acting rather suspicious outside it.

This may seem like I’m overstating the point and in the majority of situations you would be correct. In a standard residential neighbourhood this may not be the case, although you would be surprised just how vigilant people can be. But in the kind of neighbourhoods that thieves try and operate, in the high-end, flashy areas, well, they definitely keep an eye out for anything different to what is ‘normal’ for that particular location. After all, they have expensive possessions to think of.

This can be used to your advantage, you can go into an expensive bar and get talking to high society quite easily. A couple of drinks and they might let slip about something they would prefer to keep under wraps. An expensive piece of jewellery they are keeping for a great-aunt, some artwork they’re holding whilst their dealer finds something to exchange it for, or discovering that they are going to be out of town for some time. Whatever it is, if you can grease the wheels enough – so to speak – you can often discover something useful.

You asked me how I got into this, how it was that I found that I was skilled in this line of work and it’s interesting now that I think about it. I hadn’t really considered it before. I think I must have been a teenager, I can’t remember exactly how old I was, but around 14, maybe 15 I began to notice I had certain skills that my friends did not have. We often hung around Patrijarh Stolica, the largest cemetery in Esca. There are a number of quite famous people buried there: Premier Pamic, the writer Dorde Arsic, a number of musicians and even – apparently – some of the Kombarov family that formerly ruled over Mytanija as monarchs.

That wasn’t particularly the appeal to me, though. When I was an adolescent, the cemetery attracted hippie tourists flocking to the graves of some musician or a philosopher or something else that they could go to and feel ‘cool’ for a second. None of that was why I was there, why
we were there. We were drawn in by the tombstones. For me in particular, observing them gave me the desire to touch them and to climb to their peaks. My friends and I, we turned the cemetery into a playground, we would leap from the roof of one mausoleum to the next and dare each other to take ever-bolder risks each time we succeeded. Adrenalin and the pursuit of the rush it could give you was what attracted us…




He dropped down from the top of the mausoleum, his feet hitting the gravel with only the slightest of crunches. He looked up and recoiled, before allowing himself a smirk, it was a concrete gargoyle. He nearly let out a chuckle, his fear had almost gotten the better of him. Imagine having to explain that one to the lads when he got back the next day having spent a night in a cell. Squealing because of an inanimate object, albeit quite a realistic and ugly gargoyle would have had everybody in stitches.

He had realised that he was able to move around the cemetery at night without alerting the guards to his presence. He was soft of foot, light as a feather as he padded around, even on the gravel pathways. When he jumped from roof to roof he did it silently, he never missed a beat and had to scramble to regain his footing.

Some of his friends would jump, realise they had misjudged the distance and begin to yell in the air. This was the worst possible outcome. It would alert the guards, they would come running and you would be likely to be hanging on to the edge of the tomb, trying to clamber up onto the roof. The guards would grab onto you and drag you down in no time. If you were lucky you might be able to boot them in the face and get away by the skin of your teeth.

It wasn’t a problem for him though. He padded along the gravel track, the night sky twinkling with stars, each one throwing a knowing wink down at him as he moved between the graves. He could hear movement on the roofs, a muttering too. What were they playing at? They knew to keep silent if any one of them was on the ground, lest the guards come looking for the voices and bump into whoever was tiptoeing down the gravel paths.

He would have to get back onto the roofs, they were relatively safe up there. Most of the guards were middle-aged men who had enjoyed life a little too much and were doing this job to keep themselves ticking over, so that they didn’t have to listen to their wives moan about them not doing anything all day or hear mundane stories from the kids they hated. Luckily, most of them had an extra tyre around their belly; a product of overeating as they approached middle-age as well as a drinking culture that was all-pervading from the onset of the teenage years.

Approaching one of the tombs, he grabbed a ledge and swung himself up. He had solid core strength and was able to use his arms to lift his bodyweight up, swinging his legs and then using them to manoeuvre the rest of his body up onto what was almost a small porch roof for the tomb. There were more gargoyles, quite why the designers of these mausoleums had taken so much from francophone culture was a mystery to him. He found them quite ugly. The Cotdelapomais and Prahecqois did their own thing, it didn’t mean the Mytanars had to copy.

Torchlight flashed up and down the pathway he had just vacated and suddenly the gargoyles, ugly or not, were his best friends. He manipulated his body behind them so that he mimicked their positioning and in doing so hid himself completely from view. He kept one eye available to peek at the oncoming torchlight, soon two guards came into sight – they always worked in pairs – one of them conformed to the usual type: a moustachioed middle-aged man, round to the point of rotund. He waddled along the gravel track in a fashion that would alert anybody sneaking around the cemetery to his presence a good while before they actually bumped into him.

The other guard was of more interest to him. He looked significantly younger, definitely younger than the guards that they had all become used to. He also appeared to be relatively slender, although it was hard to tell just how athletic he might be given the cover of darkness. Finally they might have a worthy adversary as they snuck around Patrijarh Stolica at night. He worried about the others, some of them were not as perfectly adjusted to this – sneaking around and running away – as he was. They might finally have met their match.

He could hear the muttering start again and some sniggering. The fun was about to begin.

The guards’ torches shone a wide beam across the tombs, searching for the outline of a body so that they may identify just exactly where the intruders were. They knew people were there, amongst the graves, but finding them was another story. For too long they had come close to catching him and his friends, but they would escape at the last moment. This new, younger guard changed the game a little though.

“Oi dickhead!” Came a shout, one of his friends had stepped up into the beam of torchlight, brazenly showing his face. “Have this!” He yelled as he threw a slate from the roof of the tomb he was stood on. His friend immediately turned and leapt from one roof to the next, the cries of the guards chasing him as he went. The game had begun. He could hear the guards footsteps pounding after his friend as he jumped from tomb to tomb, his figure black against the night sky, with the faint glow of the torch occasionally pouring light upon him.

He stood up, from behind the gargoyles. Time to have some fun. He could see his entire group now, bored adolescents leaping from roof to roof. This was how they got their kicks, their lives were boring otherwise. The guards would struggle to catch one of them, never mind all, but they would try all the same. Sometimes they would allow the guards to get close before finally escaping over the high fences that enclosed the tombstones, keeping the dead and the ghouls in and attempting to keep bored adolescents out.

“Come down from the tombs boys!” Came a shout from below, panting and wheezing coming after it like a post-meal espresso. It was a given. The fat bastard probably hadn’t had any exercise since his shift last coincided with their antics.

“Have some respect for the dead and your own safety!” Came another one, more controlled. The younger fellow also had seemingly stopped running, every so often he could hear his feet crunch on the gravel. He wasn’t trying to chase them. “We’re going to have to hand you over to the police if you don’t come down willingly!”

They would hand them over to the police whether they came down of their own accord or not. Nice try, buddy. He could hear the younger security guard walking down the gravel track near him, his voice had been close, but he didn’t realise that he was quite this close. He slowly edged across the roof, picking up a slate as quietly as he could and then tiptoed to the edge of the tomb’s roof.

“Yo, this one’s for you mate!” He shouted, throwing the slate down at the younger guard before jumping from one roof to the next. He heard a shout, undecipherable as the air whooshed past his ears and then the crunch of footsteps moving quickly in pursuit. He could hear laughter pealing across the rooftops, the others had obviously gotten the easier ride and were probably teasing the fat old man. He was going to have his own little bit of fun though. He continued, jumping from tomb to tomb and he could see the high fence coming into view. As it did, a plan hatched in his mind.

As he reached the last tomb he paused, stopping and lying prone. He could hear the young guard’s feet pounding against the gravel still, trying to keep up. The footsteps slowed to walking pace.

“Fuck!” The young guard shouted. He could barely conceal his laughter, the idiot thought he had gotten away. Well, he was going to give him something so that he would remember the first time he encountered their little gang. He slowly edged himself towards the end of the roof, millimetre by millimetre. The young guard was stood, swinging the torch from side to side in vain, hoping that he would catch sight of the intruder on the ground somehow. In truth, he thought that he had already made off over the fence and made good his escape, but he held out a faint hope.

Slowly, he stood on the edge of the roof without making a sound, he could see the guard facing the wall and wearily rubbing his face. As he did so, he dropped down, falling onto the guards shoulders and the pair fell to the ground. As they did so, he shifted his weight so that the young guard was pinned to the ground, the torch smashed and they were cast into darkness. As this happened, he slapped the guard around the face and laughed loudly.

“Haha, see ya later mate!” He shouted before hauling himself up the wall, shifting his bodyweight as he done to get up onto the roof of the tomb before. Unfortunately, the young guard hadn’t given up yet.

He felt his leg get dragged back down towards the ground and he turned, heart racing, to see the guard pulling his leg with some force. He tried to shift his weight again so that he could kick him in the face or the chest to force him off. He couldn’t quite manage it though, the guard was strong and it was difficult to even move such was the pressure exerted upon his legs to try and drag him off the wall and back inside the cemetery.

“You’re going to want to give up now!” He said through clenched teeth, the two struggling profusely as they tried to pull away from the other. Suddenly, his leg was free and he let out an almighty kick, the guard fell to the floor, he could see blood spurt from his nose in the half-light but he didn’t stop to admire his handiwork, scaling the wall and standing atop it before suddenly stopping and letting out a deep breath. “See you next time pal!”

He dropped down off the wall onto the pavement on the other side and suddenly he felt the blood pumping around his head and in his ears. He was panting, something that he had been able to ignore, but now he was almost struggling to catch his breath. He allowed himself a small smile and wondered how his friends had got on.

This was the rush he had been looking for.
Last edited by Mytanija on Sat Nov 14, 2020 11:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
FEDERATIVNA REPUBLIKA MYTANIJA
Federal Republic of Mytannion

Capital: Esca
Population: c. 49,600,000
Demonym: Mytanar


Interested in Mytanar sport? Visit the Mytanski sportski mediji web page

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Banija
Senator
 
Posts: 4161
Founded: Mar 06, 2015
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Banija » Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:29 pm

Part III

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition


The Scene is set in Entebbe, Hangaza


The Kabaka was out here, in Entebbe. On the far Eastern border, an unincorporated, rural area. Really, if it wasn't for this oil thing, he wouldn't even be in this town. Heck, 80 years in this country, and he hadn't been here before. A town with the population of 1,100 people- what kind of relevance did the town have to the greater community at large? Well, today, with the Kabaka's first ever visit, it was at the center of the Banijan political world.

This was one of a number of rural towns that sat on top of the recently discovered oil deposits. He was here, with two men- Andrew Mavuto, who discovered the deposits in the first place, and Antonio DiMartini, the Echani Foreign Minister. This was the first of a number of visits, and tours, that the Kabaka would give of this area of Hangaza. Him, and Andrew Mavuto, had met twice more since their first meeting. They wanted to ensure that the oil deposits enriched Banija, and enriched her allies. He had already thought of inviting Baker Park's foreign minister in a couple of weeks to tour the site themselves.

This region of the country was... An interesting one, to say the least. Ungovernable might be a bit of a stretch, but there was... A number of challenges of governing in Northeastern Hangaza. The minority tribes, particularly the Mukegara and the Lugazi, were troublesome, to say the least. Now, of course, there's no chance that the tragedy of the Islands being split from Banija could happen here- landlocked, rural, too far north, and far too small.

But, they absolutely liked to keep to themselves. Now, of course, the Banijans had a long standing tradition of not allowing people to visit the Mukegara. But the Lugazi were different. There was no need to keep people away from the Lugazi- they were fine, 95% of the time. Live, and let live. They'd get along if they were left alone, and while their chief would sometimes want to have a word, they'd often ignore politics. They took their 2 guaranteed minority representation seats in the Hangaza Regional Legislature, and that's all they needed. From the Mutebi era to the World Cup on home soil, it was almost impossible to get a Lugazi opinion on anything.

But now, things were different. Something was going to change, and something was going to have to give. The Kabaka was thinking, long and hard about this. and he was here with his guest- DiMartini, the representative of the Echani head of state. They were in this town, before the tour of the whole oil field, just to give a speech. The two men, reaffirming an old alliance, reaffirming their economic partnership.
While the Kabaka's mind was on the Lugazi, and how they were going to navigate that one, he was remembering, of course, to speak to his diplomatic guest.

"Mr. DiMartini, how are you finding Banija?" He asked.

"Well, of course." The Foreign Minister replied. "Deepening Eshan's involvement in the community of nations, with one of our closest allies. Even Andrew, I knew you back in the day." The Kabaka didn't know that, and DiMartini kept talking, he just kept watching the stage. He was nodding, and DiMartini's words were going in one ear, and out the other. The Kabaka wasn't young- he had turned 80 recently, and was using a cane. Still, of course, maintained his authority. He had been ruling for decades, and he knew, this was the opportunity for him to establish his legacy. A legacy that wouldn't start with the Mutebi era and the Banijan-Equestrian War, but a legacy that would start here- with oil, with Banija's economic transformation.

He was deep in thought, of course, until one of his aides called him up. It was his time to speak. He walked up to the stage, to his stand, and starting speaking. "My fellow Banijans!" He said. Even on a cane, the old man could still boom his voice. "This is quite the day! The discovery, by my good friend Andrew, is going to have the opportunity to change this country- to change the path of Banija, for the better, forever!" And he went on, for a solid 15 minute speech, about the benefits. And then,of course, he was wrapping up. "And now, I want to welcome my good friend on stage, Mr. DiMartini, of the Echani Republic." And there was polite claps for this outdoor speech.

DiMartini spoke about the importance of international cooperation, and the importance of balance in world relationships, including between these pair of countries. He spoke about the potential for growth here in Banija, and how Eshan should be a partner, an encourager, of that kind of growth. Kabaka Albert III kept watching, listening closely to the speech. He had noticed the three people wearing say no to oil shirts, in the crowd. Which, only 3 protesters, not bad, right? One girl and two men. As he wrapped up, the Kabaka walked back onto the stage to shake his hand, and then- he saw.

It was like the whole thing was happening in slow motion. He saw the girl reach into her pocket, a wild look in her eyes, and it was like he was watching a movie. The "bang" sound was always going to be recognized- and he heard four of them. He looked up at his Echani counterpart, DiMartini. DiMartini crumpled in a heap to the ground, and there was bleeding from his chest. And then, of course, the Kabaka looked down. Time could not be slower for him, at this moment.

He looked down, and saw- the hole, ripped through his suit jacket- right above his heart. And then, of course, he felt it. The searing pain in his chest. His legs, all of a sudden, losing all of their strength, as he fell into a heap. The chaos around him being a blur, as everything was going black. He was shot. Was he dying? Was he about to meet his creator? Fear came over him, and he said a prayer to the heavens as he lost his consciousness.




The Scene is set in Qanz, Qusmo, happening at the same time as the events above


Isebantu Mwanga was in Qanz, meeting with Their Majesty, the Qusmyr. The highest ranking Banijan to ever visit Qusmo, he was happy to be here. Banijan foreign policy was finally branching out, beyond the immediate confines of the country, to the greater multiverse. They were growing in stature within Atlantian Oceania, even with the major setback of losing an entire province. But, of course, with the recent oil discovery... Everything was going to change.

He, of course, was not here to talk about that- that would be the purview of his father, His Majesty, the Kabaka. He was here to meet with Qusmyr Qaq, monarch of this country, a country that was trying to branch out. He had been throughly briefed by the Banijan Ambassador before he landed- Qusmyr Qaq was trying to be more involved in global affairs, and wanted foreign investment. And the Isebantu, of course, was a great supporter of Banijan companies, especially the RTC.

He was thinking about this when he walked into the room with Qusmyr Qaq. "Your Majesty, my Qusmyr." He greeted his opposite, as he bowed. Per Banijan royal protocol, of course, he did this whenever he met a foreign head of state- to show respect for their seniority, especially when he was in their country. "What a beautiful city that you have here." Qusmyr Qaq greeted him back, and they exchanged pleasantries, before they got down to business.

This was planned to be a long day, with a working lunch. Discussions on economic cooperation, economic investment, from Qusmo, and of course, the same opportunity for Banijan companies. They spoke about the RTC specifically, and the Isebantu was very encouraging. The RTC, of course, Banija's biggest company, was always a bright spot for Banija, and Banijans. He told his opposite that he would certainly set up a meeting for him with the RTC, and that the RTC would certainly invest in public transit in this country.

There were a lot of similarities between Qusmo and Banija. Qusmo was larger, however, with a population of 99 million- Banija was only home to 86 million souls. They were both rising in the world of sports, especially in Soccer. And, of course, for his own importance, in politics. The two countries were both monarchies, though with elected governments and Parliaments, and that eternal constitutional struggle for power. The meeting, he thought, was going rather well for Qusmyr Qaq. Plenty of economic opportunity between the countries. A student exchange program agreed to. Diplomatic cooperation with each other. A second meeting- potentially one between his father, the Kabaka, and Qusmyr Qaq.

They were getting into the nitty gritty, and the Isebantu there was a legitimate chance to establish a strong agreement between the two countries. That was when one of the Isebantu's aides came into the room, and whispered urgently in his ear. He froze. Did he hear him correctly?

"Sithethe kwakhona." It meant say it again, but in Banijan, one of the vernacular dialects of his own country. Of course, breaking diplomatic protocol to speak a local language at a negotiation, but that wasn't on his mind at the moment. And the aide whispered it again, in his ear. Raised eyebrows were coming from across the room.

Everything stopped. He paused, forgetting about everything going on around him. Qusmyr Qaq, and his aides, and the Isebantu's aides, were looking at him. But Isebantu Mwanga was ignoring them. Was it true? His own father? Had the time come? What was-

"Are you OK, Mwanga?" Qusmyr Qaq said, interrupting the Isebantu's thoughts. And at the sound of his name, he snapped back to life. He got up.

"I am sorry, your Majesty." Isebantu Mwanga said. "But I must leave. I thank you for your hospitality. And with that, he bowed, and walked out of the room. The Banijan side was scrambling. The Banijan Ambassador to Qusmo, who was, of course, also in the room, took a deep bow and asked permission to speak. When granted, he explained to Qusmyr Qaq what the Isebantu had just been told by his chief of staff. A visiting foreign minister to Banija, Antonio DiMartini of the Echani Republic, had been shot. Doctors had declared him dead. His Majesty, the Kabaka, Albert III, had been shot. He was in critical condition. The Isebantu, per his position as first in line, had to fly back home immediately.

Isebantu Mwanga, of course, was not going to run. He was, naturally, a royal. But things were moving quickly. His jet was already fueled up. 15 hours back to Banija. As soon as he got there to the jet, it took off. 15 hours back to Banija. On the plane, he was briefed. His father had taken a bullet to the heart. In critical condition. Things not looking good. Everything was moving so fast. Was he going to be- dare he say it- was he going to be the Kabaka?
Last edited by Banija on Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former champion of quite a few things. Former President of even more things.
Kabaka = King
Lubuga = Queen Consort
Isebantu = Crown Prince
Waziri = Foreign Minister
Katikkiro = Prime Minister
Omugabe/Omugaba= Prince/Princess
Banija Domestic Sports | Map of Banija
NSCF 14 CHAMPIONS(Loyola-Istria), NSCF 17 CHAMPIONS(Loyola-Istria), NSCF 19 CHAMPIONS(Northern Moravica), NSCF 21 CHAMPIONS(Loyola-Istria)
Sporting World Cup 8. WBCs 47 & 51. Di Bradini Cup 47. World Cup 86. IBC 30, 31, 32, 33. National Trophy Cabinet.
Does your country need public transit? Contact the RTC!
If you see this, assume you have an embassy in my country and we have an embassy in yours!

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Velestria
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 188
Founded: Aug 29, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Velestria » Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:48 pm

Image



APPLEGATE CITY — Player introductions throughout the season for the Doverhampton Wanderers have been weak over the season, nothing quite too big, nothing quite too small and the difference can be seen in the 16,000-seater venue, Saints Park where the Wanderers play their home matches at. Sure, there are cheers for Kellyn Thomas because he’s been having a good season on record and cheers for the Nepharan keeper and captain, Jasper Kirkland but the stadium is still in awe of a scene of quiet and polite applause, far from the raucous 415 campaign and equally loud 416 campaign, both of which included star player, Diamond Gregory. The crowds normally drawn at warmups have continually decreased for Doverhampton as they continue their search for a new marquee player for the lineup with rumors circulating that the team has a definite interest in national team striker, Chris Goddard who’s staked the free transfer list for the past couple of weeks. This is due and evident to the large swath of fans that Gregory, the talented, youthful netminder was able to attract, since her flashes of brilliance with the club, she brought about the status of stardom to the small city of Applegate and allowed for the city to truly have its own star to call born of its own and a true player who represented the city, now without that piece there’s a sense of mourning or longing going through not only the locker room but also the city proper as it looks back on its talent.


Diamond Gregory and the Doverhampton Wanderers worked out a transfer with Qusma club, KF Poldanz, transferring Gregory from the Wanderers to Poldanz on a deal reportedly valued at over N$3 million, this coupled with Easton Thomas reportedly falling out with Vegai’s new manager, Ella Kabeya started the rumor mill that a new national team goalkeeper had been born with Gregory. Actually no, the fact that she had gotten to play and got some true time to show off her skills at the Baker Park Open Cup truly showed that she was the goalkeeper of the future for the national team, of course; however her moved to KF Poldanz in Qusmo left a huge vacuum which sits unsealed right now for Doverhampton, and the effect that it has on the club is clearly profound. Now, Doverhampton faces the harsh task of forming an identity with a new player over which Diamond Gregory won’t overshadow, Gregory’s time with the team has largely have to be a highlight of the team’s years, winning LigVezia Series B in 415 with her at the helm helped to put them on the map, followed up by an excellent performance over her time in the top flight, doing everything to keep the team high above the relegation zone, truly proving that she did in fact belong with the team. With that, this helped to play Diamond Gregory into contention for the national team, winning recognition from national team manager, the Devontan Christopher Tajo Mendez, if it hadn’t been for the uber-talented Audioslav goal-keeper, Erik Henriksen, it was incredibly likely that Gregory herself would’ve taken home first prize. See, Gregory had done something that was very rare, alongside Cornelius Armstrong she had become beloved by the city of Applegate and celebrated for her successes, which included a promotion to the first division alongside a coveted title, even if it was LigVezia Series B, earning her additionally a Series B Cup berth, and although for the most part Applegate disappeared from recognition and existence it showed that the team was slowly improving and had the right leadership under Armstrong and a steady woman between the pipes in the form of able leader Diamond Gregory. Gregory was able to get the city to be able to love a player, truly form a star for the club; sure her likeliness adorned the outside walls of Saints Park in Applegate City, but also she was featured in nationwide magazines, she was truly a superstar in Velestria.


Gregory’s move to KF Poldanz of Qusmo leaves the Doverhmapton Wanderers football club in an uninspiring position as a club and an entity, the organization now has had to plug the whole with the serviceable and capable Jasper Kirkland who’s only bum point is not having the same likeability and fame that Diamond Gregory attracted; but the far-reaching problem is that the Wanderers are short a star of sorts and the market has one. Well not a star, but a serviceable known leader for the front. And the teams plagued by the fact that there is no star on the team currently who can step up and take Diamond Gregory’s spot as the star on the team, as the person who brought the “it” factor to the squad, the difference maker whose name only gave the opponents something to specifically plan for, contain. Simply put, there is no one on this team who carries the inspiration and the ability to draw attention, or has near the cache to step in like Gregory had, the team is for better or worse dependent on a star to guide the team, and that’s not to say that the team is bad however a star presence is needed to make this team even more-so successful than what it once was. And that’s shown throughout the season, the 6-4-1 Doverhampton Wanderers struggle mightily in the second half of games and seem to barely have the firepower to get out of tight games, Kasper Kirkland shown in matchday 10’s narrow 1-nil victory over Avispa Orleans, preserving a lead late when his defense around him proved incapable of getting a stop with four saves in the final twelve minutes of the match including stopping two shots within a minute on frame.


So what now is the identity or the next step for the Doverhampton Wanderers — what could they possibly do to rectify the problems that ache the team and help to improve their team’s chances heading into 418? To me it seems pretty clear, the team has a base of studs at midfield who are rock-solid for LigVezia play in Tristian Keith and Will Aden, while both are 30 and above, they have a service life of both being perhaps four more seasons at the helm for the national team, it looks as if Chris Goddard is a big option being considered on the free transfers to be brought in to shell up offensive firepower up top, if he’s brought in, this would likely be on a designated player contract, helping to generate publicity of a star player and national team player coming to the team. Sure, for right now it looks as if the Wanderers are relying on experience, but that experience is mostly players on the wrong side of 28, its not looking so up now and as teams around the league are continually approving it must be time for the Wanderers to look towards bringing in youth and reinventing the team, Armstrong, the manager certainly could easily pull off this effort with a little bit more money nudge towards the academy. I mean look, it’s where Diamond Gregory was produced.


One thing Armstorng has made clear is that the team has its goalkeeper for the next four seasons, saying that “we’ve found a reliable piece in Jasper Kirkland who can take the team where we want it to go, he has the upward trajectory we’re looking for and can make an imprint to better this team over the next few seasons” Through ten games at matchday ten, Kirkland had conceded ten goals, working with a sloppy defense that probably will need midseason reinforcements beginning soon if it’s to hope to climb the league table, the race for the four slots in the Velish League Cup had begun and it was expected to be a bloody fight to the top.


Meanwhile in the World Cup qualifications, as of 6 September, Velestria’s qualification matches have started out remarkably positive as national team netminder and goalie between the pipes for Peachtree City F.C., Chris Banker has shown out and shown well for the national team, displaying cohesive abilities and maintaining good play including a nil-nil draw with world number fifteen ranked side, Cosumar. They also rifled a victory over the much-overzealous Mattijana who lauded their chances of gaining “six points” from Velestria, i.e. for you non-football folk — winning both matches, for now they’ll have to settle for a loss!


Image
Doverhampton Wanderer's Kellyn Thomas challenges verses Crownian Royale in a Velish Premier game.


(59)          Mattijana    0–1    Velestria                (169)
------------------Clark ('67)
CROWN FEDERATION OF VELESTRIA & THE JA'BARILANDS & GRIERWOOD & THE LOTUS KEYES
Sporting World Cup 6 champion
Trigram: VLZ | Demonym: Lotish | Capital: Southampshire | Leader: Statminister Winfrey Godsend | Newswire

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Audioslavia
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 3483
Founded: Antiquity
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Audioslavia » Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:03 pm

Two Days Before The Day After Ar Moro
Lidgley wary of MD6 opposition’s dual-sweeper threat


Imagine you started work for a new company tomorrow, and discovered that the firm employed two typewriter repairmen.

Two typewriter repairmen?” you might exclaim. “No company has needed someone to repair typewriters for decades, and even then, no company has ever needed two of the fuckers”

Now imagine that there was a football team that employed two sweepers. Two sweepers who played at the same time.

The position of sweeper, often called a libero if employed in front of the defence, rather than behind it, has become rather out of fashion in the modern game. The relaxing of the laws surrounding offisde gradually reduced the effectiveness of having a sweeper behind the defence - a man whose job was not to mark his opposite number, but to ensure anyone penetrating the defensive line was dealt with before they were able to get a shot away. That’s how regular teams have been playing for decades. Even now, any proposed reintroduction of the sweeper would yield only one player in that defensive free role. That’s just how regular teams play.

Oberour Ar Moro, however, are not a regular team.

The Dominion’s dual sweeper system has been a facet of Oberour football since their very inception. Their debut tournament? Why, none other than the Nakiti Robotics & Axx Software Opportunity Cup just after the culmination of World Cup 48, of course. That’s a pub quiz question for you. Oberour’s attacking system smashed all before them in the first round of that competition before coming unstuck against veterans Sargossa in the quarters.

Part of the cycle 49 generation that gave us the perennially mid-ranked Eastfield Lodge, one-time WC semi-finalists United Gordonopia, occasional contenders Kulverint and a team called Osarius whose greatest triumph was being accepted into the COCANEFA family, Oberour Ar Moro’s ultra-fluid brand of attacking football saw the side sweep unbeaten into their BoF semi-finals, overcoming both Eastfield Lodge and Osarius along the way, before succumbing to eventual champions Balida. Frustrated by their falling at the penultimate hurdle, Oberour took out their frustrations on a hapless Five World team that had somehow stumbled into the other semi-final. In a vulgar display of power, Oberour Ar Moro spanked their opponents 9-1, a record for a knockout match that late into a Baptism of Fire tournament.

By the time of the qualifiers proper for World Cup 49, though, the teams with more money to spend on researching their opposition were beginning to work out how to counter the Oberour dual-sweeper system. Oberour took an 8-4-9 record in subsequent competitive matches throughout qualifying and the Cup of Harmony, including an impressive win over Schiavonia and defeats to the likes of Vephrall, Adi’han (twice) and Valanora (twice) that they had nothing to be ashamed of.

Roll on World Cup 50. With their new post-tournament ranking of 77th in the world and a squad growing in belief they should have been on for an easier World Cup qualifying group, right?
Hah. Oberour Ar Moro were drawn alongside… brace yourselves…. Four-time AOCAF Cup winners NEWI Cefin Druids, an Andossa se Mitrin Vega team that were in the middle of collecting three Cup of Harmony champion trophies, a Newmanistan team who had already collected three Cup of Harmony champion trophies, future Cup of Harmony and Copa Rushmori champions Taeshan and a Dorian and Sonya side only three cycles away from winning the World Cup themselves. Oh, and fucking Valanora again, just for good measure. OAM persisted, and finished only a point away from fifth place in a group of eleven, but were unsuccessful. A credible one-all draw with NEWI Cefn Druids marked the end of a tough campaign for the side, and that would be it for the nation as a regular of international football until the preliminary stages of World Cup 81, wherein the side were drawn alongside another Cup of Harmony winner in Mercedini, a Vilita side on their way to a fourth World Cup triumph and a number of other difficult fixtures. Without the springboard of a Baptism of Fire tournament to help them on, how did Oberour decide to tackle their impossible situation?

All out attack. Two sweepers. A further two middle-fingers shown to conventional footballing logic. A growing army of foreign fans enraptured by the gung-ho style of the comeback kids.

As with twenty-two cycles previously, the side started strongly, registering a convincing win over veterans Anthor to start off and gaining a point in their second game, before being overturned eight-two on their home turf by Mercedini. More drubbings followed, conceding six to both Vilita and Tobiasia but scoring as many against Kernovi and Rewgwlas and rounding off their campaign with a 5-7-6 record - absolutely nothing to be ashamed of for a team approaching the tournament with zero KPB points. What’s most noticeable is that they stuck to their guns, never yielding no matter which kind of team they were playing, except sometimes to somehow play more offence-minded football against weaker opposition.

Noticeable. Yes. Commendable? Well..

One thing Audioslavian football does, and does well, is counter-attack the absolute bejeezus out of other football teams. National team manager Wilf Lidgley has been very open in the press about his admiration for OAM’s left-field tactics and has warned of the various attacking threats possessed by the Dominion, but has been reported to have been rubbing his hands with anticipation behind the scenes. It has to be said: Audioslavians thrive against teams that throw their defenders forward, and while this current iteration has done away with the national team’s traditional style of employing quick wingers, Lidgley is expected to name the nippy Arjen Jensen, quick-footed Carles Gorgas and give a debut to wonder-winger Rickson Marañón, who has a reputation for running into spaces where the defenders aren’t, and should Oberour’s ‘defenders’ make a habit of marauding forward into the midfield, Audioslavia should be in a position to punish.

Ranked a hundred KPB places better than their opponents, and with a brand of football that should be anathema to their rivals’ all-out-attack, and against a team with only one win in five games, Audioslavia have to be favourites.

Unless Oberour try some funny stuff…

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Zwangzug
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 5236
Founded: Oct 19, 2006
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Zwangzug » Thu Mar 14, 2019 7:16 pm

Zwangzug's e-Lipogram
Pi in Anglicanan Sky


A surprising draw away in Nova Anglicana brought Zwangzug back up to fourth position in group four. Although our host's right forward got a goal about half an hour in, Kostya Hart-Farm's half-two tap-in would lock down a point for Zwangzug. (Not a half point--in World Cup qualification, cosmopolitans award null, a solitary, or a trinity of points for a loss, draw, or win. Takilan conspiracy.)

"I'm happy about this," said coach Makvala, not in so many words. This woman is now infamous for a quotation about "this was a match that was a possibility to win" in Zwangzug's prior clash. In contrast, this showing was not of a high probability, so fans will bask in it.

"Our pacing was important," said Subroto Parida, sitting in a dark room to avoid light that might bring about cranial pain. "You can't just go hard for an hour and slack off; you must hold on and guard your goal for a match's full duration. I think our coach is good at swapping us in and out to accomplish this; Robin fullback in uniform four was tiring following a tough first half but I could stand in for that woman upon play starting up again."

Also in group four, Barunia and Main Nation Ministry ground out a high-scoring draw. Barunia will visit Wayr Stadium on Matchday Six. "I'm looking forward to it," said Zwangzug's captain. "Our squad knows how to hang with anybody, just look at our UICA rank--but I think this draw was good for calming us down and not falling into a downward spiral, which a loss might bring about."

In non-sports drama, it is Pi Day (consult with your local chronological-dilation guy if this looks wrong). Many math dorks will chow down a pastry in honor of this occasion. A handful of try-hard showoffs will go on about "actually, pi is not as vital a circular constant as tau." Our policy is ignoring such snooty talk. Any justification for toasting math's glory is a good thing, if you ask us.
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IRC humor, (self-referential)
My issues
...using the lens of athletics to illustrate national culture, provide humor, interweave international affairs, and even incorporate mathematical theory...
WARNING: by construing meaning from this sequence of symbols, you have given implicit consent to the theory that words have noncircular semantic value and can be used to encode information about an external universe. Proceed with caution.

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Natanians and Nosts
Diplomat
 
Posts: 869
Founded: Jun 25, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby Natanians and Nosts » Thu Mar 14, 2019 10:52 pm

After reconciliating with victory,Natanians and Nosts prepares for next match


After a suffered win against Astoria,and a series of bad games,Natanians and Nosts is more optimistic and is preparing for their next match.After the game,Natan Nínnio Gonçalo,scorer of the lone goal,with assisatance of Lucas Lucius Vit,said that the team is now more focused and seeks to reagain rhythm and stabillty,although which stability is a doubt,he also said that the team will focus more and try to calssify for the Cup of Harmony,after the recent absences.Mihail Heitor Fostar said that after defeating Tinhampton,the team was very confident,but the defeat to Walenstein really affected them negatively,in part because they were in a "exceptionally confident,and in a level we were not before,somewhat disrespectful of our opponents,and it really did penalise us,we shouldn't really have been thart confident" and completed by saying that the lost to Robostania just worsened the situation,but this match played with a lot of "race" made the team regain the confidence.
Champions of the Londinium 7s Tournament II!!! fourth place in AVBF 7s,Plate champion at AVBF 7s III,URSA 7s 2 and Watson's Bay Int'l and also:
we reached the play-ins at WLC 22,quarter finals at WLC 26 and WLC 27 and Ro16 at WLC 28!
Hosted:WLC 27

International Geese Brigade - Celebrating 0 Radiation and 3rd Place!
Proud Esportivan since November 2016[/align]

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The Sherpa Empire
Minister
 
Posts: 3222
Founded: Jan 15, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Sherpa Empire » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:15 am

Danu went through the monastery asking all the monks if they could send him back to his own world, but they all said no. The monks who had that power had all used it to flee when the fascists went on an anti-religious power trip in the 1950s. When the monastery reopened in 1973, the monks it attracted were less powerful.

Of course there were still people in the world who wielded powerful magic, just not in this particular monastery.

"Where can I find someone that has the power to send me home?" Danu asked.

"You can't," Jigme told him. "You'll get picked up and sent to the camps before you find anyone."

"Where could I find someone if I didn't have to worry about getting sent to the camps?" Danu asked.

Jigme shrugged. "A military base?"

"Anywhere I can find someone that's not in the military?"

"The Ministry of Public Works? Not that you'd ever get past their security, but you know..."

"There has to be someone I can actually talk to..." said Danu.

"Honestly? Your best bet is to let them take you to the camps and then seek out the Resistance," said Jigme. "They use magic for their own purposes. It drives the government up the wall trying to figure out where they get the magical power, but they're pretty good at coming with magic when they need it."

Hunan Territorial People's Stadium, Changsha, present day:

Jiuwen Shu didn't get out much. She was getting too old, and she couldn't walk very well. She had a walker, but even using that was slow and laborious and she got tired quickly. But today was a special occasion. She was going to watch her grandson's football game. This was not just any football game. Her grandson was Sai Feng, a midfielder on the Sherpa Empire's national team.

Shu's son (Feng's father) had bought tickets to the game and he picked her up early so they would have plenty of time to get into the stadium and get Shu settled into her seat. When the crowds started to fill in, the noise became overwhelming. But it was all worth it to see the happy surprise on Feng's face when he realized she was there. She got to see him make a couple of nice assists too. The Sherpa Empire beat Tiiwark 2-1.

Shu was exhausted by the time it was over, but she was glad she had been there to see it. She was so proud of him.


Liuyang Concentration Camp, in the vicinity of Changsha, 1965:

Jiuwen Shu was part of a work detail that had been sent to rake leaves on the campus of a nearby college. The commandant of the camp was upset because he said he had just come from the college and there were leaves on the ground. He grabbed Shu out of the line of prisoners. "Why are there still leaves on the ground?"

Shu was too scared to make eye contact. "It's windy," she said. "More leaves must have blown off the trees after we finished raking."

The commandant pulled out his gun and shot her dead. He yelled at the remaining prisoners, "Tomorrow I don't want any excuses!"
༄༅། །འགྲོ་བ་མི་རིགས་ག་ར་དབང་ཆ་འདྲ་མཉམ་འབད་སྒྱེཝ་ལས་ག་ར་གིས་གཅིག་གིས་གཅིག་ལུ་སྤུན་ཆའི་དམ་ཚིག་བསྟན་དགོས།
Following new legislation in The Sherpa Empire, life is short but human kindness is endless.
Alternate IC names: Sherpaland, Pharak

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Main Nation Ministry
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13014
Founded: Sep 28, 2016
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Main Nation Ministry » Fri Mar 15, 2019 12:15 am

The Red Wagon: The Outsider

Josh Etten had been a busy pig boy. After he gotten that almanac from the girl with the red wagon, he has been experimenting with it, after discovering that the book actually does what it was supposed to do. After he got home, he examined the pages to see that the book was full of all sorts of sporting events that occurred in the multiverse. He came across the World Cup 82 at the end of the book, where he saw only a whole bunch of blank pages. "What is this? The author was lazy or something?" Josh complained, tossing the book aside, before he had himself some leftover pizza in his apartment. Eventually, Josh slept in front of his TV, as he had watched the first Match Day. When he woke up the next morning, he was about to head out when he stepped on the almanac. Almost like the book had a mind of it's own, it was scrawled open to a page that looked brand new. Picking it up from his dirty carpet, he read the new page out loud.

"Group 4. Libera Populum vs Main Nation Ministry. 2-4." He did remembered that Main Nation Ministry won against Libera Populum, but where did this page come from? Josh naturally thought the pages were too thin, so that he easily skipped pages, but it looked like a brand new page. He was starting to get curious at this marvel, where he waited till the next match day occurred. This time, he had the book ready and turned to a blank page next to the page displaying the recent match day. He waited about several minutes earlier before it started, when he saw the words develop on the book in front of him. "Group 4. Main Nation Ministry vs Gor Kebab. 5-3." Josh saw appear on the page. This occurred 20 minutes before the results were actually revealed. With a rather sinister grin on his face, Josh had a wonderful idea. "I going to make everyone my bitches. That's for sure." Josh thought to himself.

Josh started to crash sports parties and taverns throughout Match Day 3 to 5, often making a loud entrance, where he immediately annoys people with his behavior. Leaning against the bar counter, he attempts to woo over a girl with bad results. "I saw you checking me out at the door. Care that I ask you out?" Josh tried to ask as a playboy to the girl, who was clearly looking at the TV and didn't even notice Josh enter the tavern. "Uhh.. I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asks, confused while having a nervous smile. "I'm just trying to find someone who's clearly beautiful, who I can date, of course."
"Hey! The hell you doing with my girlfriend?" a football player-looking man appeared to the bar, who was obliviously the girl's boyfriend. "Piss off you jock. She's mine."
"We been dating with each other for about a year! Please go away!" the girl was already trying to shoo him away.
"We're dating and that's final!" Josh yelled, where a soldier came to try to throw him out. "Sir, we can't allow drunks in this establishment." he grabbed Josh with a strong hand.

Josh happened to have his book with him, where he quickly checked the pages, before he managed to yell towards the entire bar. "Hey everyone! Main Nation Ministry gets a tie tonight!" Josh yells at the top of his lungs, before he is thrown out. Of course, he was technically right. After the match day, the soccer team in the nation didn't score a point nor the other team.

The next day, Josh attended a sports party being hosted by a friend, who happened to not mind his attitude. This time, rather than be an ass to some random chick, he just goes to find his friend, since he already knows how the match day was going to end. "Hey, Don. I hope that your bets on the Ministry are not on them tonight." Josh whispered, clearly stroking the fires on committing verbal treason. "What are you, crazy?"
"They get a plain zero tonight. I know this, because I can see the future."
"Ok. You're seriously crazy, man." Don whispered back.
"Well, I'm not wasting my money on them. You just made a horrible mistake." Josh let out a smug egoistic grin, as he walked out as they announced the results. The moment, he gotten home, his friend Don was trying to call him, like crazy.

The day after that, Don meet up with Josh at his apartment, looking desperate. "Dude! I lost about 2 grand worth of chips!" Don said, sweating. "To whom? You're not a part of those illegal speakeasies, am I right? The ones selling absinthe? I heard it all over the new-"
"For fuck's sake! Yes! If they raid one, they will figure out that I spend my parent's money on a shitty bet!"
"I can actually help you get your money back. If you do me a favor." Josh was clearly smiling.

The pig guy was enjoying this.

"I can tell you what the results will be. If you let me switch pads.." Josh said. He was tired of his "shitty" apartment, despite the fact, he was supposed to be the one who was supposed to be treating care of it, not the tenant. Josh didn't care, if the excuse of idiotic. He enjoyed the power of having control over people. Don would have said no. However, Don seemed pretty desperate. When the match was going through in Match Day 5, Josh told Don that there was going to be a tie, which he immediately agreed to take note of. Before Josh left his house to sleep in Don's house, Don himself let out a complaint. "Josh! Why are you leaving your food in the fridge? You know how sensitive I am to seafood." Don remarked, where Josh took note of.

"This actually gives me a good idea." Josh thought, as he made sure he had the almanac with him.


Henry Cotterie woke up in his bed, having to adjust his body, since his leg wasn't walking as good as it used to. Henry had been a bit happy, even since he gotten that statue from that girl with the red wagon. He explained to his rather perfection-obsessed wife that he got it as a gift to use as a paperweight, though his wife immediately liked it, despite the fact she only saw it for a split second. She didn't care. She wanted to make him happy. Diana has been loving Henry, even since their days in college. To say that Diana was a yandere would be a bit of an overreaction. Though she did treat him as a master and saw herself as a servant. Henry is clearly unable of this and doesn't seem to be aware of his wife's behavior. What surprised Diana was that Henry had refused to talk about his days in college. When she asked him, he simply said,

"I wasn't a good sports player there."

Henry, using his walking cane, headed to the dining room, where his wife prepared him his oatmeal. "Honey, I know you have been a bit busy, but I happened to notice some extra money near your bed. Do you have a new job?" his wife asked. "No. But I'm literally growing some money in our backyard." Henry joked, knowing that she is aware of what's happening also. A day after Henry gotten the statue, he started to notice money literally appear near the statue that he bought. He was a bit confused and where it came from, until he looked away from the statue for one second to see a pile of chips literally appear near it. "A money-generating statue? Looks like a good deal to me! As long as I don't get executed for counterfeiting, I should be good!" Henry thought, as he took the statue to use.

"Another thing I have been thinking. I want to clear out our basement. If we get enough money, we can have a downstairs pool to entertain some guests."
"Why not do outside?"
"Honey, I much like my rose garden, so I wouldn't like them be harmed."
"Ehh. Fair enough. Just don't damage any stuff that might be down there, though. It's been years, but don't let anything get damaged." Henry asked.

The place that they stayed was a small mansion that Henry acquired many years ago around the start of Henry's and Diana's marriage. It didn't really have tons of rooms, but it did have tons of space that Henry could have hired a butler, if he wasn't too stingy. Diana turned on the light switch, where she was surprised to see that the basement lamp still worked after all of these years. Diana gripped the railing and leaned a little towards it, until..

CREAK!!

Diana was surprised to see that the railing nearly broke already. "Talk about fragile.." she thought. Managing to get downstairs, she looked around to see an array of junk around the room. It was usually old nick nacks and what not, though Diana wanted to make a garage sale, if people were interested. Henry didn't seem to want this stuff anymore. Taking her time, she scavenged through the old radios, rotting magazines and broken toys to see what was of interest. While going through stuff, Diana saw something that looked like something of interest. Curious, she brushed some stuff aside and found a yellow painted bird house. It looked almost spotless, but it clearly showed some age. Observing it, Diana found an inscription on the side that read, "To my beloved. Thank you for the gift! I hope we can have a good life together! - C", the rest of the inscription had worn out, making the sender unknown, expect for their name starting with the letter C.

"Did Henry have an ex-girlfriend? I don't want to linger with gifts from his ex.. But this bird house looks nice for the patio. I think I use it for the birds." Diane thought, as she grabbed the birdhouse and took it upstairs to clean it. Unaware to Henry, Diana has actually brought back up a memento of his past.
Local 22 year old Diet Coke Addict College Student Ruins Everything

Quote of the Week: "A NEW STORY ON WRITING THREAD FOR HALLOWEEN!! MYSTERY MINE AVAILABLE NOW!"

RPs I do
- How do you do fellow kids? You want to see something violent? - Artemis: Deimos Trafficking League (Horror/Mature)
- Descend into the forgotten tourist traps of Florida on this transgressive RP! - The Community (Mature/Black Comedy/Slice-of-Life)

My overall account that I use for P2TM and even for international roleplaying! MNM is a mysterious and extremely dangerous dictatorship filled with supernatural oddities, demons, militarized soldiers everywhere, and a misanthropic nihilistic dictator who doesn't give a damn. It's basically if the SCP Foundation got mixed with 1984.

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Vilita
Minister
 
Posts: 2112
Founded: Feb 23, 2004
Ex-Nation

WC82Q MD 3-4

Postby Vilita » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:06 am

Image


ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Jungle Cats Rebound with Victories against Nottinhaps, S. Micronesia


Track Venture Field, Sile, Vilita :: After suffering the agony of a late defeat at the hands of Abanhfleft on what was supposed to be a celebration of their status as the #1 Ranked Team in the Multiverse and as World Cup Champions, the Vilitan National Team packed their bags and took the show on the road to Nottinhaps looking to get the track back on the tracks and propel the team back up the Group Standings in the quest to qualify for the World Cup Finals with a chance to repeat for the first time in the nations history as back to back champions. After conceding twice late on against Abanhfleft, Lonngeylin Coast netminder Cilamara Issah did not make the trip to Nottinhaps and instead it was Upsin Ajaara on hand to back up Mako Canopii in the Jungle Cats net.

It was a nervy start for the defending World Cup Champions as the home side, ranked 273rd in the multiverse, got on the board first through a 17th minute corner kick. After settling the game down however the Jungle Cats would recover to convert a corner kick of their own as Va'a-Rio Kiwavn's 31st minute delivery curled over everyone including the back defender sneaking in to the far corner of the net to level the score at 1-1 heading into the break.

When the second half resumed the Jungle Cats grabbed hold of the momentum and never let it goal bar a brief moment when the hosts had netted a consolation goal after Kwuimekii Hentetii and Poloax Torerun had already given the Vilita National Team a two-goal lead. Nii'arala Milaaso put the match beyond all doubt after a 1-2 play with fellow substitute Berali Tzufarei in the 82nd minute as the Jungle Cats would get things back on track with a 4-2 victory over Nottinhaps.

Vilita [4] - [2] Nottinhaps

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 31' Va'a-Rio Kiwavn
:: 56' Kwuimekii Hentetii
:: 57' Polaox Torerun
:: 82' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 62%
:: Shots on Target: 6
:: Corner Kicks: 11
:: Nottinhaps Statistics ::
:: Possession: 38%
:: Shots on Target: 5
:: Corner Kicks: 12



Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Nottinhaps ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Rojara Tiones, [D.]Inbekira Ajhabekk, [D.]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [D.] Rintala Sekagaya, [ML] Polaox Torerun, [MC]Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC] Jyuola Mtalata, [MR] Kudii Davasarii, [FC]Fishtii Blikala, [FC]Linvoi Warazil
BENCH::
[FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC]Berali Tzufarei, [M]Cavuna Aquafek, [M]Tinjus Mngomeni, [U ]Tripate Falcon, [D]Mileke Drokasorna, [GK]Upsin Ajaara



From there the Jungle Cats would return home to face one of the lowest ranked sides in Group 13, Soviet Micronesia. The match would be played at the Track Venture Field in Sile, Vilita home of former Vilitan Stellar Division champions and recently promoted side Makosile United. Makosile midfield veteran Tripate Falcon and prospect Intikko Kuhilana were called into action on the bench for the match with the coaching staff perhaps having one eye on the crowd when proejcting potential in match substitutions for the fixture. The game would also mark the return of the highest value transfer of the most recently completed Transfer Window, Sipke Tarala the former Lonngeylin Coast turned Sabrefrell Athletic player and Vilita's top goalscorer of the World Cup 81 Championship campaign. Tarala had only played 26 minutes of action during qualifying thus far having had to leave the Jungle Cats opener against Bysantia after picking up an early injury.

It didn't take long for Tarala to silence any doubters regarding their match fitness, putting the Jungle Cats in the lead just five minutes into the match to the delight of the home crowd who for a moment seemed to be willing to forget the fact that the Sile born and trained player opted to turn professional with Lonngeylin Coast and not with Makosile United who trained them up from a young age.

While possession was fairly even, Sovient Micronesia rarely challenged Mako Canopii in the Jungle Cats goal and the 3-0 scoreline that came about due to a Nii'arala Milaaso double either side of the half really could have been more and the lack of goals in the match could come back to haunt the Jungle Cats down the line in the Group 13 table.

Vilita [3] - [0] Soviet Micronesia

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 5' Sipke Tarala
:: 27' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: 78' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 54%
:: Shots on Target: 8
:: Corner Kicks: 9
:: Soviet Micronesia Statistics ::
:: Possession: 46%
:: Shots on Target: 1
:: Corner Kicks: 1



Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Soviet Micronesia ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Inbekira Ajhabekk, [D.]Linkat Cjinder, [D.]Rintala Sekagaya, [ML] Kudii Davasarii, [MC] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC]Cavuna Aquafek, [MR] Jyuola Mtalata, [FC] Enzoril Alabonni, [FC]Sipke Tarala, [FC]Nii'arala Milaaso
BENCH::
[FC]Tenziki Kulakao, [FC]Fishtii Blikala, [M]Tripate Falcon, [M]Intikko Kuhilana, [U ]Rojara Tiones, [D]Arocki Tadalek, [GK]Cilamara Issah



With the win the Jungle Cats had climbed back up to second place in the Group 13 table just one point behind a familiar foe, Competitive Solitaire. While the Jungle Cats hadn't weren't top of the table in points just yet they were still leading every other category having scored the most goals and conceded the fewest goals in the Group over the opening four matchdays.


Image
-¤-¤-¤World Cup 20 Champions¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤World Cup 68 Champions¤-¤-¤-
-¤-¤-¤World Cup 77 Champions¤-¤-¤-

Region: Atlantian Oceania - The Home of Sport

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Sajnur
Envoy
 
Posts: 303
Founded: Dec 17, 2018
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sajnur » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:10 am

Sajnur 1 - 1 Alluersia


It's a point. It's not ideal, but at least we aren't rock bottom. Niurka Stadium saw a match that had plenty of action, but little joy for the home fans, as the two Baptism of Fire alumni ended all square. The team performance wasn't bad, but it wasn't great, and Alluersia's 2-4-4 really functioned more like a 4-4-2, leaving little opportunity for Sajnur to break through, especially on the wings. Indeed, it was Alluersia who got the initial jump, with Jeorge Wilks lobbing the ball over the penalty box, and over Piotr Laghiev's head, into the goal to leave the visitors 1-0 up after 21 minutes. Alluersia had plenty of chances to extend the lead in the first half, too, as Sajnur had their backs to the wall, keeping just 32% of possession in the first half as Alluersia peppered the goal. Wilks should have had at least one more goal, as he hit the post in the 30th minute from close range, and forced Laghiev into a leaping save in the 37th. Tucker Forens and Franke Velst also missed crucial chances to put Alluersia in command, but they kept their 1-0 lead into the break, as Sajnur recorded just two shots at goal, Kaori Hajat speculating from 35 yards in the 15th minute, and Dario Tule curling one in from the right edge of the box which was saved by Carl Calson. Taulant Haji, in his efforts to stop yet another Alluersian attack, also got himself booked just before half time, meaning he will be suspended for the Kavagrad game.

The second half was better for Sajnur, with the shots starting to flow again and the spirits of the fans in Ciarkhan starting to rise with each opportunity, although Calson displayed effective goalkeeping throughout, denying the Sajnuran front three repeatedly. The 71st minute finally provided dividends for Sajnur, however, as Taulant Haji received a through ball from Jessica Siafik and cut inside Dan Elksert, before whipping the ball past Calson for the equaliser, with the 73,000 strong crowd cheering with such passion that shaking could be felt by those close enough to the stands. Annoyingly, Calson would not be beaten again and the score would remain 1-1 until the whistle, with decidedly less cheering at the end of the game.

Alluersia clearly came to the Niurka Stadium full of fire after a humiliating defeat to Vartugia, and this will be the first step to restoring the national pride lost last Matchday. Sajnur will hope to get a similar result against Kavagrad, but the odds will be against them at Siyaka Island, as it will be against most of Group 11.

Press Conference with Jessica Siafik, after Sajnur v Alluersia


How does it feel to finally get your first point in the group stages?

It's obviously a good thing to finally be on the board after two very tough matches against World Cup regulars, but it's quite an empty feeling, really. Only one point, it's not satisfying. We wanted three points, we believed we could have taken three points, but Alluersia came out very strong. Even though we are both new to international football, Alluersia have a lot more on the line and they played like it.

Do you believe you played well today?

First half, no. Second half, maybe.

What was wrong with the first half?

Two shots at goal. We could not get anywhere near scoring. We had, what, 30% possession? It could have been 4-0 at half time! Also, Taulant [Haji] got himself suspended, so Kavagrad's left winger is going to be very happy tonight.

What was better in the second half?

More possession, more shots. We scored, they didn't. Piotr [Laghiev] got some rest.

Jessica inhales on a blunt

It's another assist for you. You've been involved in both of Sajnur's goals in the qualifying tournament. Do you feel like Sajnur relies too much on you?

Nah, it's my job. I am Sajnur's playmaker.

How will you beat Kavagrad in Tawqush?

I don't know.

Do you have anything else to say?

To you? Not really. I need food. Goodbye.

Jessica waves goodbye before taking another puff

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Starblaydia
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 4691
Founded: Apr 05, 2004
Father Knows Best State

Postby Starblaydia » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:44 am

OOC: North Quadana's team information taken from their BoF roster.
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'Keep this run going'
Starblaydia pace after slow start

Image
Starblaydi striker Aaron Cole has taken on the mantle of leading the strike forces of both club and country with great enthusiasm.
They kept going, they trusted the process and now Ázëwyn Fëanáro's side have eased to two consecutive victories to solidify their place in Group 14. The somewhat unexpected loss at home to Cassadaigua had seriously dented the hopes of Starblaydi fans that their team would dominate their Qualifying group, even after the slight hiccough that was the home draw to Filindostan on the opening Matchday. Indeed, this was the first win of the qualifiers in three attempts at the national stadium, and nearly twenty thousand of the near two hundred thousand seats were empty. A ten percent below capacity crowd for a match against a team ranked in the mid two-hundreds shouldn't be all that much of an issue for most nations, but the history of Starblaydi football has been made almost as much by the fans as it has the players. It will be interesting to see just how full the Stadii Di Bradini is on Matchday Seven when the entirely unranked and otherwise silent side from Britaen come to call.

As it was, Starblaydia coasted to another three points out of this game, clawing back two precious points to close in on Cassadaigua, who drew away in Omerica. Now just three points separate the teams - the very three points Cassadaigua took at this stadium two games ago. Both of the big hitters with the long histories in this group, however, sit firmly behind Polkopia and their 100% record. It's easy to suggest that the five victories in a row for the surprise team of the last Qualifiers have come thanks to an easy schedule - Britaen, North Quadana and Tiiwark all falling by the wayside, but they have still overturned the odds against the horrendously underperforming Filindostan, and the otherwise completely average Omerica. Sharper tests for Polkopia await in the form of both Cassadaigua and Starblaydia, which is when we'll truly be able to see if this nation - one for which the KPB rankings seem to be unable to catch up fast enough to quite how good they truly are - has reached its peakm or if it's only the beginning.

'Beginning' is a good way to describe the senior international career of Sutter McCloud, who netted in his second game in a row. The nineteen year old now has seven goals to his name already - five thanks to the 13th Olympiad - in his twelve appearances, making him the fifth-highest scorer in this team. Out in front, with 23, are his strike partner Aaron Cole and the veteran Mezna Rayyen, who have made over one hundred appearances for the team between them. Cole, who opened the scoring in this match, is enjoying some of the best football of his career with both club and country, leading Corinthian Spirits to hitherto undreamed of successes in the Champions Cup, AO Champions League, and now leading the line for his country. The Penningworth native has progressed to the point where it would be almost impossible to consider a Starblaydi team without him, even when his and McCloud's positions are being chased after by four other strikers in this side. Of the four, Mercy Kaufman appears to be the most serious threat, as she managed to shine in her late appearance as a substitute with the game-killing fourth goal. Mezna Rayyen, too, cannot be overlooked with her experience, but she also needs to be competing with Sterling Renshaw and young Under-21 captain Arkady Krakowski for a spot on the left wing equally as much as trying to take back her former position as queen of the strikers. Outside of those two, Elianora Mendez and Tuncastle's own big lumbering unit Alan Eccleston have yet to make much impact, but as part of the run against the lower ranked teams in this side they will surely be given some game time to keep the likes of Cole and McCloud fresh and competitive.

Cole began the scoring with a well-taken strike inside the box, jinking inside Aito Suzuki and unleashing a snap-shot that buried itself in low in the corner past Kouji Kitano in the North Quadanese goal. Sutter McCloud doubled the lead before half time when latching on to a through ball from Sterling Renshaw, firing across the body of Suzuki and in at the far post. North Quadanese captain Oyakawa Senzo was trying desperately to grab his team by the scruff of the neck and take the game to the five time world champions, a task that actually succeeded when he capitalised on a misplaced pass from Theodore Sigismind, seizing on the error to break into the box and slot the ball past the completely unsupported Ollarion. It briefly woke North Quadana up into an attacking force, but Starblaydi captain Viola Capodanno soon put a stop to any comeback as her brilliant diagonal crossfield ball found Arkady Krawkoski the left wing, practically landing the ball on his shoelaces at the gallop from fifty yards away. The outrageous pass had the Starblaydi fans on their feet and mere seconds later they erupted into cheers as Krakowski slammed the ball into the roof of the net with a vicious rising shot. The killing blow came from Kaufman, on for McCloud, as she nipped it at the back post to tap in after some great work from Beretano on the right, with a teasing cross that was just begging to be put in the back of the net by striker or bumbling defender.

Next up for Starblaydia is Tiiwark, one of three teams currently rooted to the bottom of the group that Starblaydia play in consecutive matches. One doesn't give out much hope for either them or Britaen taking any points off Starblaydia, who will be laser-focussed on winning as many points as possible before they face Polkopia, Filindostan and Cassadaigua in the space of four matches that will make or break their charge for World Cup 82 qualification.

Final score from Stadii Di Bradini, Jhanna (176,613)
Starblaydia 4 - 1 North Quadana
(Cole 24', McCloud 42', Krakowski 64', Kaufman 85') - (Senzo 61')
Six-Time World Cup Committee President (WCs 25-33, 46-51 & 82*)
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Sajnur
Envoy
 
Posts: 303
Founded: Dec 17, 2018
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Sajnur » Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:16 am

Sajnur 0 - 2 Kavagrad


It's back to the usual at the Siyaka Island Stadium, as Sajnur lost 2-0 to another established side, this time being Kavagrad. The Redhearts put on an exciting display, thoroughly outclassing the Sajnuran team. Even the 2-0 scoreline didn't show the full spectrum of glamour that was on the field, and even the home fans in Tawqush left the stadium feeling like they got their money's worth in an action packed match. Kavagrad made full use of their 57% possession, registering 13 shots to Sajnur's nine, ten of which were on target compared to Sajnur's seven.

Kavagrad's first goal was in the 17th minute as Louis-Henri Bonne defied the Sajnuran defence, drawing away from Alexis Sjoring, who made his debut start in place of the suspended Taulant Haji, to receive a pass from Benjamin Mumuni before sending the ball past Piotr Laghiev's far side to make it 1-0. The score remained like this at half time thanks to the efforts of Laghiev and Kavagrad's keeper Edouard Calvin, making four saves each. Calvin made an excellent save in the 36th minute when a rocket of a shot from Rowan Down forced Calvin to leap upwards with little time to react so that he could tap the ball over the crossbar, while Laghiev was repeatedly forced to leap to his posts, never sure which way the shot would come until it was released. The second half was more of the same fast paced football, with fans of both sides ebbing and flowing with the sequence of play, like Sian Levici receiving a long ball from the returning Zain Hasan in the 53rd minute and firing it first time at Calvin's far side forcing him to the air to protect his goal. But it would be Kavagrad who would score again, with Moses Maxwell Diaby the one booting it in in the 67th minute. No more goals would be scored, but not for lack of trying, with Laghiev forced into sweeping Bonne in a one on one, and Calvin ma aking a double save against Vasil Stoianov, who came on for Andre Naulo, in the 80th minute.

Laghiev, despite the result, had an otherwise great day in goal, making eight saves and thwarting each of Kavagrad's five corners, none of the visitors even able to get to the ball before Laghiev could catch it, and the Siafik's usual playmaking prowess was assisted by Zain Hasan and Rowan Down, the former seemingly developing past being merely a workhorse or a defensive lynchpin and possibly being on his way to becoming a truly complete midfielder. Sajnur will have it all to do to get off the bottom as they verse Mytanija at the Westfalenstadion in Prizren, with possibly 80,000 Mytanijans cheering for their side and possibly enough flares to even rival the atmosphere at Queen Haqla stadium, where the return fixture will be played on Matchday 14. The Sajnuran away fans will have to be very creative if they are to match the hosts' intensity of support.

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Indusse
Diplomat
 
Posts: 924
Founded: Nov 21, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby Indusse » Fri Mar 15, 2019 2:23 am

[center]Indussean national team

Image[/center]

[hr]

Nickname(s): The blue wave,blue hawks
Association: Indussean Football Association
Founded: 2016
Manager: Robert joey
Most caps: Baskar Kumar (104)
Top scorer: Baskar Kumar (82)
Home stadium: I.N.S. stadium (New hind city)
Country code: INS
KPB ranking: 72
Highest KPB ranking: 72(WC81)


[hr]

[center]First international win
[nation=short]Indusse[/nation] 1 - 0 [nation=short]Northwest kalactin[/nation]
(Decosta tournament 1)

First WC match
[nation=short]Indusse[/nation] 0 - 2 [nation=short]Mercedini[/nation]
(WC79 @ ceni and drawkland)

First international
[nation=short]Indusse[/nation] 2 - 2 [nation=short]West Violence[/nation]
(BOF @ barunia)

First WC win
[nation=short]Indusse[/nation] 2 - 0 [nation=short]New doltania[/nation]
( WC 79@ ceni and drawkland)
[/center]

[hr]



Football Record

Host Appearances: 1 (First in DCIFT)
Best result: Playoffs(WC 81 @ free republics and banija)

[hr]
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Resume
Issue Author: #1428
IAC 13 Champions

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Brenecia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 806
Founded: Apr 14, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Brenecia » Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:38 am

Eshan 2 - 3 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Calhoun; 2 - Broxham, 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Szubanski, 3 - Quill; 23 - Alweather (4 - Staunton 65'); 7 - Crowther, 14 - Ruskin (21 - Considine 58'), 13 - Wheeler, 11 - Keynes (16 - Ashbrown 79'); 9 - Riordan
Goals: Wheeler 31', Crowther 45+1', Ashbrown 86'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Government declares 'mission accomplished' against urban terrorist cells
Corwen Rourke

Following a lightning offensive of arrests against political extremists, organised criminals and domestic terrorists, Prime Minister Ward has declared "mission accomplished" in a triumphant address to the press this morning.

Ward confirmed that the series of arrests reported over the last couple of days were part of a single grand operation, and credited them to the recently-formed 'Task Force Monitor'. "Thanks to the outstanding courage and skill of the taskforcers, we have delivered a firm riposte to those that believed us weak, or thought that brute force could overturn the will of the people," she said, before handing over to a Task Force spokeswoman and departing.

The spokeswoman, named as Commander Elise Randwick, would not confirm how many arrests were made, or if there were any deaths in the process; only that "three Task Force members were injured by hostile action, but all are stable." Precise figures are expected as soon as everyone to be charged has been charged, but it was not 'prudent at this time' to name exact numbers.

Perhaps predictably, Nepharim government officials have painted the actions of Task Force Monitor as a 'purge', with Minister for Defence Catheline Price declaring it 'another blow to the legitimacy of the crumbling Brenecian government' in a radio show interview, while the Progressive Democrat opposition urged the government to take more direct action through sanctions.

Price's Brenecian counterpart, Justin Paterson, was quick to condemn such remarks. "In the six months since the election, the Conservative government has done everything in its power to weave together the divisions in our society; the only people trying to cause divides now are these Nepharim, who should stay in their lane."

Relations between Corvistone and Rozelle have been tense at best since the confrontation at Fort Sutton, one which the Nepharim government has characterised as a 'siege'. Such public skirmishes are only likely to exacerbate relations between the nations. In the meantime, at least Brenecian citizens can rest safe in the knowledge that the domestic strife of the past two years is being decisively dealt with.
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Nephara
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1871
Founded: Jun 06, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Nephara » Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:39 am

Nephara 2 - 0 Blaneu
(4-3-3) 12 - Mercator; 18 - Kielseng, 22 - Thorn, 6 - Steelhenge (c), 19 - Vicelich; 15 - Rosenthal, 23 - Shone, 21 - Moxham (8 - Klein 73'); 13 - Saroszi (14 - Kuepper 64'), 10 - Metzger, 16 - Staunton
Goals: Metzger 29', Staunton 54'

THE HERALD
NEPHARIM MINISTERS LINE UP TO BLAST EXTRAJUDICIAL BRENECIAN KILLINGS
Luna Giesler

As tensions continue to rise between Corvistone and Rozelle, prominent figures from the four key Nepharim parties have all criticised Brenecian domestic security 'purges' targeting far-left dissidents, with Minister for Defence Catheline Price the latest and most outspoken to stick her head over the parapet.

"As Nepharim, we believe in political freedom," she told R26 radio host Tara Brodtmann last night. "Prime Minister Ward can bark all she likes about domestic security, and try as she might to rebrand those discontent with her leadership as 'terrorists', but she isn't fooling anyone. This is just another blow to the legitimacy of the crumbling Brenecian government."

When Brodtmann asked her if Ward's actions could someday warrant military intervention, Ministrer Price backed down, saying it was only Nephara's duty to "remain vigilant, and to use diplomacy to prevent further atrocities." The show was soon inundated in callers, some even calling for direct intervention against Brenecia.

Price's comments follow the rest of the Nationals' hawkish tone towards Brenecia over the past couple of months. The Liberal Alliance part of the Coalition has been less openly threatening, with Vice-Margravine Sherry Garnett passive-aggressively tweeting that any first-world democracy had a duty to protect 'the right to express disappointment in one's government', and Minister for Trade Hector Riesling tagging Clarisse Ward directly in a tweet saying "Your actions will be remembered."

Leaders in opposition were also quick to condemn the attacks. The Progressive Democrat leader, Althea Kendrick, challenged the government in Question Time to "stop with the hard-man act and back it up with decisive action," later telling the press that economic sanctions could be marshalled to keep Brenecia in line. Kendrick is considered hawkish by Progressive Democrat standards, and her remarks were the most direct of any in her party.

49-year old Clarisse Ward has only been Prime Minister for seven months, but has already established herself as a firm hand at the tiller, beloved by the Conservative party base and, in a country with optional voting, was instrumental in reviving a plummeting electoral turnout. She has undoubtedly managed to calm a tumultuous domestic situation after a number of serious threats to the government's sovereignty rocked the past few years and lead to her predecessor, Merric Laidlaw, being deposed by his own party.

However, her heavy-handed methods have lead to controversy abroad, and her efforts to unilaterally revoke the Treaty of Westpike and seize back Nepharim military bases on the island have lead to condemnation and the threat of sanctions. Perhaps, given the weariness pervading Terranea in the aftermath of the war in Sameba, she aims to press her luck while the iron is hot; the hard-line responses of the Nepharim government have hopefully rid her of this notion.
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Lisander
Minister
 
Posts: 2253
Founded: Feb 09, 2013
New York Times Democracy

Postby Lisander » Fri Mar 15, 2019 5:27 am

Equestrian States is playing the World Cup Qualifiers with Androids?


Several questions hang in the air, especially among Lisander's players:

"What's happening to the Equestrian States team?"

"What was the strange, icy environment in the stadium?"

"Why do not I remember hearing the local team lineup on the stadium sound system?"

"Why did we not see clearly the face of the adversaries?"

"Was all that fog normal?"

"I felt dizzy did I get stoned by that haze?"

"Why were all the players so similar to androgynous figures?"

"I do not remember my goal at 42', neither Erick Morton's at 78'. What's happening to me?"

"Wait, I suffered a goal?"

THE ANSWER, my friends, is simple! READ THE TRUTH!

EQUESTRIAN STATES PLACED ROBOTS IN THE PITCH! A SERIES OF ANDROGEN ROBOTS WITH FOOTBALL SKILLS.

THEY ALSO DRUGGED ALL THE PEOPLE PRESENT AT THE STADIUM, DILUTING RELAXING DRUGS IN THE MIST OF EVENING.

I would even congratulate our players, who were able to beat them even though they were using such a cowardly tactic!

HOWEVER, I BELIEVE LOSING HAS ALSO BEEN PART OF THAT PLAN, TO HIDE THEIR PERFECTION PLOT, THE ROBOTIC ANDROGENS WERE PROGRAMMED TO PRESENT LOW PROFICIENCY LEVEL IN THE SPORT.

THE POSSIBILITY OF THIS ARMY WITHOUT NAME IN THE PITCH IS NOT UNLIKELY IS A MILITARY TEST. ALSO DOES NOT DISCOVER THE POSSIBILITY OF PROFICIENCY THE LISANDERIAN FOOTBALL FEDERATION HAS PURCHASED THIS RESULT (THAT LEADS TO THE GROUP'S VICE-LEADERSHIP). THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT DEFENDS ANYONE.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO EMPHASIZE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT STAY IN THESE ENVIRONMENTS. AVOID BRAINWASHING! IN THE EVENT OF SUSPECTED MIST AND DECREASE IN YOUR COGNITIVE CAPABILITIES, LEAVE THE SITE IMMEDIATELY.

THAT'S MORE A PLAN OF THE GREAT WORLD CAPITAL, TO DOMINATE AND IDIOTIFY MASSES THROUGH FOOTBALL!

NO TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER!

The BLOG the-revealed-truth-by-quintino-the-preacher.blogs.ls NEEDS YOUR COLLABORATION. SEND A TIP of any value to AstleyBank 0072784P


This publication is intentionally ill-made. Quintino The Preacher is a conspiracy theorist who writes awfully.
Last edited by Lisander on Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jeruselem
Minister
 
Posts: 2630
Founded: Antiquity
Democratic Socialists

Postby Jeruselem » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:30 am

Joshenia, after the qualification game where Jeruselem drew 2-2 with the hosts. Bianca Dallas with Prince Hamish

Bianca: There you are, you're a dipshit. Yeah
Hamish: Hello Bianca, subtle as always
Bianca: You didn't have get your **** self sent off, you ****. We were winning until you got your **** self sent off.
Hamish: Hey, it was an accident. I didn't intend to do that.
Bianca: You're supposed to kick the **** ball, not the defender
Hamish: It was just bad timing

Bianca: What you mean, bad timing. I play against your team all the time and it's not just bad timing. You're just reckless.
Hamish: But I don't get sent off at home
Bianca: This is the World Cup! They don't put up with that BS you get away with at home
Hamish: You sound like someone I know
Bianca: Well, if I sound like your mother ... deal with it ****
Hamish: Geez, you're in a bad mood today.

Bianca: Yeah, you get sent off and we have one player short. I had to work hard to keep them out, which I didn't because of you! It's hard enough without being a player short.
Hamish: I guess I won't be playing at home next week
Bianca: You have the worst record in the JPL, the only reason why they keep you is because you can be a match winner but sometimes you're just a liability
Hamish: I did score a goal today.
Bianca: Stick to kicking the ball, not your opponent.
Hamish: I guess it didn't help arguing with the referee as well

Bianca: Well, that turned a yellow into a red card.
Hamish: It wouldn't have mattered, I had a few fouls built up from the last few games.
Bianca: I know but the referee is discetion. Be a prick and well, you lose!
Hamish: You're not exactly Miss Fair Play either
Bianca: I'm not reckless or single mindedly idiotic like you. I do what I need to do. Not like your stupid brain snaps
Hamish: Err, yes well. That comes my Dad. He's the opposite of Mum in terms of discipline. But you're not called Miss Grumpy for nothing either.

Bianca: I'm not the original Miss Grumpy. There's a lot of us in the family. You don't feel responible for anything?
Hamish: I know what to expect when I get home
Bianca: If I was the manager, you would not be in my team.
Hamish: I guess we don't get along very well.
Bianca: I don't sugar coat crap, you know that.
Hamish: That's because you don't have a filter at all.

Bianca: I fully expected you to cause problems! Now are you going **** learn from this?
Hamish: I don't seem to, well in the past.
Bianca: We cannot **** repeat his episode.
Hamish: Like I said, it's never intentional. It just looks really bad.
Bianca: Well, if you're not going **** learn. Just don't get on the **** field
Hamish: I won't be next game.
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http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=J ... hievements

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Brusseldorf
Diplomat
 
Posts: 532
Founded: Dec 19, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Brusseldorf » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:36 am

Image

Online Article, 14.03.19, 10:10pm

Los Alrededores have produced another impressive display, with a professional 4-2 victory over World No.239, Sulsuland. In what can only be described as a masterclass in tactics, Manager Craig Foster overcame the confusion of Sulsu's indistinguishable team names and flipped it to his advantage.
With the game restarting in the second half at 2-2, Craig, much to the confusion of the spectating fans and the Sulsuland team, ordered his players to change positions at random, and focus on all-out attack. Amused onlookers slowly began to realise the genius of the plan, as a fatigued Sulsu squad looked more and more puzzled trying to mark their opposite number. The situation only became worse for Sulsuland as their manager (name unknown, presumed to be Sulsu) struggled to vocally direct his 10 Sulsus from the sideline. The rest of the Match played out with Brusseldorf dominating possession. Substitutes Boronia (60th) and Actha Achiveal (64th) both scored to then seal the game at 4-2.

Golazo correspondant, Timbsy, was at the match and had this to say. "Poet and Vuj were next to me, like, and they just started gigglin 'n that, and I'm tryna figure out what Fozzy's doin. Yeah they figured it out straight away but man it's madness on the pitch, like. He's got Andrea just running up to the 18 yard-box and Lellouche is off somewhere on the right wing. Blud, I don't kid, Wolfenden was hangin around goal, like. Yeah, nah. Not their goal, ours - and I'm like what's up? I'm thinking that I've gone crazy, innit. But then I see that the Sulsuland bruvs are just as confused like, and they're breakin their own ankles tryna find their man. Yeah absolute scenes mate. Then the Sulsu manager starts yelling at his players but like, they're all called 'Sulsu' so it's just hilarious for us mate. I don't think he was havin a good time ah! They just fell apart at the seams, didn't know who to mark and where. It was very entertaining to watch, especially for us yeah, cause like Brusseldorf just beasted and got a chance to show their skills. You know I had to cover me missus' eyes 'n that, cause you know, she's gonna fall for Wolfenden! *laughs* Silky footwork though, innit. So yeah, very fun and I know that Fozzy was havin a good laugh. Anyway, I better be splittin cause me mum's got spag bol on at home yeah! Good post-game grub like. Have a nice."

Craig Foster also seemed in high spirits after the match, sharing a warm handshake with the Sulsu manager, who graciously managed to see the humour in the situation.
Performances like these continue to affirm Craig's statements from prior to the World Cup - and the pure entertainment factor of Los Alrededores has helped to raise the profile of Football in Brusseldorf dramatically in the past few weeks.
Here's to the beautiful game.

Image
Craig Foster (left) has won over Brusseldorfen fans with his tactical flair and attacking style.


The Match Schedule is as follows:
March 10th: Brusseldorf 0-5 The Holy Empire
March 11th: Libertas Omnium Maximus 3-3 Brusseldorf
March 12th: Brusseldorf 3-1 Dritten Asopie
March 13th: Eastfield Lodge 1-2 Brusseldorf
March 14th: Brusseldorf 4-2 Sulsuland
March 15th: Brusseldorf vs Acapais
March 16th: Santa Regada vs Brusseldorf
March 17th: Brusseldorf vs Quakmybush
March 18th: Qasden vs Brusseldorf
March 19th: Mid-qualifying Break
March 20th: The Holy Empire vs Brusseldorf
March 21st: Brusseldorf vs Libertas Omnium Maximus
March 22nd: Dritten Asopie vs Brusseldorf
March 23rd: Brusseldorf vs Eastfield Lodge
March 24th: Sulsuland vs Brusseldorf
March 25th: Acapais vs Brusseldorf
March 26th: Brusseldorf vs Santa Regada
March 27th: Quakmybush vs Brusseldorf
March 28th: Brusseldorf vs Qasden
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The largest military in the region
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Etymology: Brussels + Dusseldorf = Brusseldorf!

The Pacifican Islands said: all transit is green if there is no transit
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The Grand Empire of Andor said: You can’t pollute the planet if there is no planet
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Quelsh said: "COOL FLAG BRUZELDERF"
Tattland said: "Did I just accidentally attack Quelsh"
The Garmillas Empire was an intergalactic Empire. A remnant group of the Garmillan people crashed on earth, where they were given refuge by Brusseldorf.

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Libertas Omnium Maximus
Diplomat
 
Posts: 610
Founded: May 31, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Libertas Omnium Maximus » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:38 am

Portland Tribune
Maximusian NT pulls of a win against Quakmybush

After a fantastically uneventful game, the Maximusian team pulls off a 1-0 win. It is impressive that the Quakmybush team was able to hold off the relentless attacks of Colter and Brookshire for as long as they did. In the end, it was a well executed chip shot by colter in the 55th minute that won the game.

Viewership was, interestingly, at an all time low, lower even than the Baptism of Fire Group Rounds. Perhaps this is because of the Team's less than perfect last game, and boring game against Quakmybush. Boring is, of course, a relative term. For LOM's die hard fans, you couldn't pay them not to watch their "boys play."

This win has come at a perfect time for the team, right when they needed it most. If they can keep up the momentum, their odds of qualifying improve ten-fold.
The Republic of Libertas Omnium Maximus
(Representative Democracy; Established 1837)
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Abanhfleft
Senator
 
Posts: 3533
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:16 am

The distance that one has traveled should never be used as an excuse for poor form and mediocrity, at least in terms of association football. At least that was what Klearchos Kazantzakis believed. Especially not in this day and age when travel to and from one place to another could happen in a matter of days, if not hours. There was some debate in whether Thereisnogodabad or Port Thimpodopoulos was the farthest place that someone coming from Imgortur could go to with regards to being in Fleftic territory, but that was just because a new airport had just been opened to serve Thereisnogodabad directly. Kazantzakis remembered the days when Port Thimpodopoulos had the only major airport in the whole of the Fhulghamous, when in order to get to the other towns in the colony one had to take a bus ride through thick forests and mountain passes on unpaved two-lane roads that were barely enough to have the honor to be called roads. Ah, those were the days, Kazantzakis mused.

Now towns like Thereisnogodabad were just a plane ride away from anywhere else in Abanhfleft. Not that that was a bad thing; there was just something about the journey itself which now seemed lost to Kazantzakis. And in any case, his thoughts about the journey not mattering at all to a team's performance still held true for him. Lots of other teams had used the lengths of their journeys as excuses to explain away why they had played so poorly in this game or that. And for Kazantzakis, that was just a load of bull. If a team wants to play then they will play. Sometimes someone just needs to motivate them into playing, give them a healthy kick up the ass. That was what Kazantzakis intended to do with this squad.

Of course, real life didn't follow his plan to the letter, as it was wont to do. Locomotive Imgortur came to Richard Dawkins Park expecting a tough game from Thereisnogodistan, and that was what they found there. At least Locomotive could give as good as they got over there. They had even managed to take the lead through Rhys Bustamante, going on the counterattack and then chipping the ball over Samwell Crownover. But Thereisnogodistan managed to draw level fifteen minutes from time thanks to a Gejus Welcker penalty, conceded after Antonis Harisis plowed into Ludwig Zarnow. Sure, a point was a point, but Kazantzakis was convinced that he could have walked out of Thereisnogodabad with two more points than what he ultimately got. His team was, for him, excellent defensively. But such was football. Sometimes the better team didn't get what their performance deserved. Time to move on to the next game then.

Said next game was a home game against Xemlice Rovers. According to the league table, Xemlice were actually doing pretty good; up in fourth place with two wins, one draw and one loss. They had bounced back neatly after their shock loss against Eielo Sunlight; their most recent game being a 1-1 draw against the defending Fleftic Premier League champions Arsenal de Releinthi. Meanwhile, Locomotive were also doing well for themselves: sixth in the league with the same record as that of Xemlice. But looks could be deceiving. Xemlice have been consistently at the top half of the table starting in the 2010s, and had actually managed to qualify for the Globe Cup for two of the three seasons that the FPL has finally managed to integrate itself into UICA. They were also the first ever champions of the Fleftic Premier League. They were most definitely not pushovers, nor were they to be taken lightly. But Kazantzakis hoped to have an ace up his sleeve when the Rovers came to visit.

One of the problems of constructing a new stadium for a football club was that, when they moved in to the new stadium, the atmosphere inside would feel bland, dry, uninspired. It was like there was no soul at all inside the stadium. No one knew why that was so; perhaps it was because the ultras, the most vocal and noisy of the clubs' supporters, were not used to the acoustics of the new stadium. Or perhaps it was because the stadium was new, therefore there had not yet been time for the club's culture and aesthetics to seep into it. But oftentimes news stadiums were nowhere near as intimidating as the stadiums that they had replaced, at least for the first few years of their completion.

It was also the reason why Kazantzakis had decided to call for a meeting with two of the supporters' groups in Imgortur who were supporters of Locomotive. The Locomotive Imgortur Fans' Group was, according to the usual definition, more of a "casual" supporters' group than many others out there, but their members were still as vocal and noisy as any other fan group out there. But for the ultras experience, there was no group in Imgortur better than The Imgortur Express, derived from the club's nickname "The Engineers." Their group was the one that comes to people's minds whenever the word "ultras" is mentioned.

"Gentlemen, thank you all for coming today," Kazantzakis said to the representatives of both groups as they entered his office. "Please, take a seat." Once they were all sitting down Kazantzakis continued, "Gentlemen, I'll cut to the chase. This brand new stadium is very nice; it really is. But it needs something more. It needs atmosphere. It needs noise. It needs the fans."

"Well, that's why we're here, aren't we?" Constantijn Aldenkamp, the representative for The Imgortur Express, said as he shrugged his shoulders. "We've been cheering Loco on ever since we were born."

"Yes, of course, I know about that," Kazantzakis nodded, "and I am eternally grateful for both of your groups in supporting Locomotive. But this is what I want to do: I want to turn New Locomotive Arena into a fortress. I want other teams to be afraid to come here. I don't want them to think that they can just waltz in here and take three points. I want the other teams to know that if they want to win or even draw here, they're going to have to fight tooth and nail for it."

"Well, jeez, sir, that's quite a big ask that you wanna ask of us, isn't it?" Garland "Gary" Harrelson, the representative of the Locomotive Imgortur Fans' Group, said in reply. "Don't worry, sir, Stan and I know where you want to go with this. But sir, I hope you understand that this isn't going to happen overnight. We're still getting used to the new stadium. We know it's never going to be the same as the old one, but we're doing our damned best to make it feel like home."

"And how has the North Side been treating the both of you?" Kazantzakis asked.

"Like I said, it's nothing like the old stadium, but we've been making it work," Aldenkamp replied. "We're adding our own little touches here and there—nothing that the management won't like, I promise—and our goal is to make the place feel like the old stadium within this season. It's a bit of a slow start, sure, but we're getting there. We're getting there."

"Then can I count on you to give us the proper atmosphere when Xemlice comes here Saturday? Can I count on you to be our twelfth man against the Rovers?"

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir," Harrelson nodded.

Except once again real life decided not to play along with Kazantzakis and his plan. Yes, the New Locomotive Arena was loud, but it was just that: loud. The Xemlice players almost couldn't hear themselves think while playing but aside from that, there was nothing to indicate that the stadium had become the fortress that Kazantzakis wanted it to be. Xemlice had drawn first blood through Corey Wheeler, and while Locomotive managed to draw level thanks to Rhys Bustamante's bicycle kick goal, Xemlice nicked all three points at the death thanks to Massoud Sitangkay, although he had some fortune to his goal because he just happened to be at the right place at the right time to steer Demyan Kravchenko's errant header to the proper place.

Yet more work was still needed to be done. That much, Klearchos Kazantzakis was sure.
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ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIAOONTAZ DERT LI NGCOPPER CUPRUMTRENDSTARTFHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

WORLD CUP 82 QUALIFIERS: ABANHFLEFT VS BUSOGA ISLANDS

By Malik Qazizadah

Image
The Abanhfleft women's national football celebrates their victory against the Busoga Islands in the World Cup 82 qualifiers. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Andros Tasasa)

LOTHARSTADT, XEMLICE PROVINCE - Abanhfleft produced yet another stunning masterclass as the Lady Revolutionaries triumphed over the visitors from the Busoga Islands in an incredible display of footballing prowess at President DaPanzer Oubie Park in Lotharstadt.

With three wins on the trot following their defeat at Savojarna, Abanhfleft are definitely one of the form teams of the current qualifying cycle, while Busoga Islands are coming to Lotharstadt on the back of three consecutive defeats, and both teams' performances on the pitch showed exactly what the form book had predicted.

Kelly McGinnis helped Abanhfleft to an early lead just a quarter of an hour into the game with a curling effort that could have been meant to be a cross for Amelie Rusev rushing for the far post but nevertheless slid into the net, and it could be said that Delbin Kasekende was not expecting that, much like a certain inquisition.

The home side's advantage would then be doubled after Elene Liner got the drop on Mohan Thakshak and managed to peel away from the young defender in time to receive a through ball from Erin Jensdottir-Jennings and smash it into the top left corner.

The lead would become three after Britt Hanokssen-Hanks' speculative shot from beyond the D took a helpful deflection from Marie Sonko and beat the hapless Kasekende once again, and Berihu Abeselome almost risked conceding a penalty when he dived in after McGinnis in the second half, but no matter as the Hoventon & Corlington Town striker still scored her second brace of the game through a chip shot.

However, even though they were at this point four goals down, Busoga Islands still maintained their presence on the pitch and even managed to string together a number of chances to get Stephanie Bryan stretching, but the real test would come when Ousman Babaja was brought down inside the box by a clumsy barge-in from Claudia Roos and got himself a penalty kick. And despite Bryan's best efforts to put him off, Babaja struck strongly for the top left corner and buried his spot kick while at the same time sending Bryan the wrong way.

And suddenly, just like that, Busoga Islands were beginning to look like they were on the edge of a historic comeback, especially after Fara Turay's free kick flew right past Bryan's outstretched fingers to give the visitors hope that they might just be able to get something out of this contest.

In the end though, Abanhfleft managed to hold on to the three points and make it four wins in four, surely aided by the fact that Ginny Katesmar opted to lock down on midfield by bringing on both Trinidad Kleist and Cecily Segovia.

         ABANHFLEFT 4 - 2 BUSOGA ISLANDS
McGINNIS (14', 49') BABAJA (65' pen)
LINER (28') TURAY (75')
BRITT (35')

BUSOGA ISLANDS
GK: 1 Kasekende
RB: 2 Abeselome
RCB: 5 Sonko
LCB: 3 Thakshak (Kolley - 54')
LB: 4 al-Azam
CDM: 6 Jarju
RM: 7 Paramartha (al-Zakaria - 78')
LM: 11 Oojam
CAM: 10 Turay
RS: 9 Amitabh (Sanneh - 66')
LS: 12 Babaja
ABANHFLEFT
GK: 1 Bryan
RB: 2 Baum
RCB: 4 Soler
LCB: 5 Sullins
LB: 3 Roos
RM: 6 Winter-Slaughter (Kleist - 76')
LM: 8 Erin (Segovia - 76')
RW: 7 Liner
CAM: 10 Britt
LW: 11 Rusev
ST: 9 McGinnis (Dolan - 70')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession

Abanhfleft: 53%
Busoga Islands: 47%
Shots
Abanhfleft: 20 (11 on target)
Busoga Islands: 15 (8 on target)
Corners
Abanhfleft: 10
Busoga Islands: 10
Fouls
Abanhfleft: 21
Busoga Islands: 16
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
Trans-Dniesters (Client state)
Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

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