[Title] Intelligent Design?
[Description] Animal rights activists in @@NAME@@ have petitioned the government to ban "designer pets": the selective breeding of household pets to enhance extreme characteristics which they claim leads to multiple genetic defects. After your mailing office was inundated with letters full of sad pet pictures, a meeting has been arranged with interested parties in order to give your poor mail clerks a break, and hopefully put the issue to rest.
[Validity] All
[Option] "Arthritis, skeletal deformation, and brain compression: these are just some of the terrible medical conditions caused by selective breeding," bemoans activist @@RANDOMNAME@@, over-dramatically pointing to a selection of pictures they've sprawled out on your desk while struggling to hold back tears. "People's desire to own breeds like the Maxtopian fold cat and the Lilliputian munchkin rabbit for their supposedly 'cute' characteristics has only fostered an environment of cruel and unethical breeding practices." @@HE@@ finally breaks down. "The government should ban the continued breeding and sale of designer pets, and require all breeders be licensed and comply with a set framework of ethical breeding standards. Think of the poor fur-babies!"
[Effect] owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation
[Option] "Oh jeez, give me a break!" scoffs prominent B-list celebrity Berlin Chilton, who is credited with starting the designer pet trend, while adjusting her comically large fur-lined hat. "Don't listen to this drama queen, @@LEADER@@. They just don't like that people aspire to be more like me and Mr. Fuzzykins here, who I assure you is very well-loved. Isn't that right, baby?" She stops to blow kisses at Mr. Fuzzykins, a selectively-bred Smalltopian hound, who is panting heavily and looking very sickly in her luxury handbag. "Designer pets represent a person's right to choose, and these so-called 'activists' just want to take that away. We should be encouraging selective breeding, not banning it."
[Effect] micro-@@ANIMALPLURAL@@ are the current fad sweeping the nation
[Option] "I agree with Ms. Chilton, but it's not just about choice. This is my livelihood!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of the local pet shop around the corner from your office. "I'm already tied up in knots by bureaucratic diktats which force me to spend my hard-earned @@CURRENCY@@ just to be issued licenses telling me what I can and can't sell, how many bodies I need to run the shop...All of which drives up costs and prevents me from making a pro--er, I mean, bringing the joy of pet ownership to the nation. Government needs to stop pandering to the feelings of these damn busybodies who want to ruin my business and relax the rules on poor pet shop owners like me." @@HE@@ leans over, and whispers in your ear, "If you do, I'll give you a nice discount."
[Validity] Nations with low economic freedom
[Effect] pet rocks are sold by the pound
[Option] "@@LEADER@@, all this talk presents us with an interesting opportunity..." chimes your Minister of War, @@RANDOMNAMEMALE@@, who seems to have invited himself to the meeting. "If we were to selectively breed our own animals, we could turn them into effective weapons against our enemies. We'll usher in a new age of biochemical warfare with vermin designed to destroy our enemies' entire ecosystem!" He cackles maniacally. "Just sign this order I have here, and I'll get the shrinks to work."
[Effect] rabbits are known to spontaneously explode without warning
Changelog - Updated 29/03/19
- This issue has been accepted into the game and implemented as #1191: Intelligent Design (Kylarnatia; ed. The Marsupial Illuminati).
Possible Outcomes
- Option One would likely lead to an increase in stats like Compassion and Government Size, and a decrease in stats like Civil Rights and Ignorance.
- Option Two would likely lead to an increase in stats like Civil Rights and Ignorance, and a decrease in stats like Compassion and Intelligence.
- Option Three would likely lead to an increase in Economic Freedom and Industry: Retail, and a decrease in stats like Government Size and Environmental Beauty.
- Option Four would likely lead to an increase in stats like Defense Forces, Death Rate and Rudeness, and a decrease in stats like Pacifism and Safety.
This issue was inspired by the recent news that selective breeding is going to be outlawed in Scotland. Since I've always wanted to try my hand at writing an issue, and since I couldn't find any known issue that directly addresses this topic, I thought I'd start by giving this a go.
Feedback would of course be much appreciated.