World Lacrosse Championships 30- Everything (Final Posted)

[Wrexwic]

Wasp Watch
Wasps Close Rivalry Series

"Away games are always tougher", said attackman Darrian Webb before the Wrexwic-Sarzonia game. "We know this next crowd really won't be happy to see us. It'll be a hostile atmosphere."

The team from Sarzonia left match one at Wrexwic amongst a home base of smiling faces. Sarzonian players criticized the league for unfair foul calls. This led to sarcastic responses from Wrexish players and fans.

"Here is the world's smallest violin, playing just for Sarzonia's foul calls", posted keeper Keyon Sowley on social media. He attached a .gif of a cartoon crab playing a small violin. Sowley knew such taunting would bring a more motivated opponent. "Let Sarzonia get fired up", Sowley told a Vannish magazine. "I welcome the rivalry."

It was evident from the entrance that the crowd was going to be tough on the Wrexish. Some may have applauded the close battle of skill that took place between the two teams. Recent events would not expect the Wasps to be well received in Sarzonia regardless.

"I'm glad we were able to travel the world for this edition", said Glover Webb. Glover, his brother Darrian and Deon McNight scored 2 goals each in an attack heavy offense. The trio are the Wasps' starting attackmen. Glenn Agle also scored a goal from the attack position. The youngster shows a serious ability to score, even given limited minutes. Most analysts consider Agle next to replace a retired Glover Webb or McNight in the starting lineup.

Ollie Jacobsson had the biggest hand on the game at midfield. He had one of his best days in the faceoff category for the season. He didn't win every battle at centerfield. He won extremely crucial ground balls which lead to big goals.

Jaye Lindblom had one of the important late game goals which cemented the Wasps' win. In a sprinting fast break, he caught a Jacobsson pass over his shoulder. He cradled before switching hands on the stick. He brought this into an extended one hand cradle. A stick check glanced his body, striking the bottom of his arm. It slid off his stick, but Jaye fought the contact.

With a lower body twist and all of his back committed, Jaye brought the stick in with two hands and ratched off a quick shot towards the bottom right of the goal. It was just quick enough the trouble the keeper. The crowd was not happy. Wrexwic was not supposed to win in their stadium. The first game was supposed to be a fluke.

The Wasps proved they didn't just deserve to win, but that they could win again.

Wayan Tyrill scored another late goal when he ran behind goal. A series of other players switched positions around the net. Defenders were forced to choose who to follow or switch to. The Wasps threw more confusion into things with two key screens. As Tyrill used his highly scouted speed to break back up towards the center of the field, he found himself open.

Lindblom rocketed a pass, which Tyrill shot soon after catch.

Slaughter and Palmer scored crucial goals in the 2nd and 3rd quarters. Both were rebounds from shots that bounced off the post. "Wrexish lacrosse is about fundamentals", Palmer said after the game. "You have to pay attention, then be quick enough to scoop and move."

Sowley had a rough time in goal for much of the game. He gave up 9 goals. The Wasp keeper stepped up for the last quarter and a half. There were some really good shots on Sarzonia's behalf. It took quicker than normal reflexes to deal with the shots. Even at his peak, an occasional shot would get past Sowley.

"They were tricky to guard", admitted Lamar Jameson. The defenseman 'made the papers' for challenging Sarzonia. "They can bring it", was his quote. The Wasps showed they had the ability to close out a late game situation. It was often impossibe to stop a close back and forth battle from developing. Ending that ebb and flow while taking control is integral to winning games.

The Wasps move to 8-1 with the only mark on behalf of Alpine Union. Sarzonia holds 2nd in Group 1 at 5-3. Cheergirls or Alpine Union could topple Sarzonia with a late season flurry. The Wasps stand in the 4th seed with a goal difference of +52.

[Cassadaigua]

Group 1
Cheergirls 15–3 United Celtic Peoples
St Saratoga 8–9 Sarzonia
Wrexwic 8–4 Alpine Union

  Group 1                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Wrexwic                    10    9   1   120   64  +56    27  Q
2 Cheergirls                  9    6   3   106   78  +28    18
3 Sarzonia                    9    6   3   113   89  +24    18
4 Alpine Union                9    5   4    93   79  +14    15
5 St Saratoga                10    5   5   115  103  +12    15
6 United Celtic Peoples      10    2   8    81  132  −51     6
7 Clonka Magnus               9    0   9    56  139  −83     0

Group 2
Lochario 3–5 Seraxinbourgh
Cosumar 12–10 Qingland
New West Guiana 15–4 The Kytler Peninsulae

  Group 2                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 New West Guiana            10   10   0   144   57  +87    30  Q
2 Cosumar                    10    9   1   144   81  +63    27  Q
3 West Phoenicia              9    5   4    98   90   +8    15
4 The Kytler Peninsulae       9    4   5    85  106  −21    12
5 Seraxinbourgh              10    3   7    77  116  −39     9
6 Lochario                    9    2   7    66  104  −38     6
7 Qingland                    9    0   9    71  131  −60     0

Group 3
Monsa 8–19 Northwest Kalactin
Vangaziland 20–7 Banija
Cassadaigua 10–7 Velestria

  Group 3                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                10   10   0   155   69  +86    30  Q
2 Cassadaigua                10    8   2   124   86  +38    24  Q
3 Banija                      9    6   3   111   88  +23    18
4 Northwest Kalactin         10    4   6    93  115  −22    12
5 Velestria                   9    3   6    75   89  −14     9
6 Xabia                       9    2   7    74  111  −37     6
7 Monsa                       9    0   9    71  145  −74     0

Group 4
Juvencus 9–9 Bjornoya Republic (11–10 OT)
Baker Park 10–9 Iquikukut
Qasden 11–6 Abanhfleft

  Group 4                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Baker Park                 10    8   2   114   78  +36    24
2 Abanhfleft                  9    7   2   113   65  +48    21
3 Qasden                     10    7   3   114   86  +28    21
4 Juvencus                    9    5   4    88   88    0    15
5 Libonesia                   9    4   5    81  101  −20    12
6 Bjornoya Republic          10    2   8    77  112  −35     6
7 Iquikukut                   9    0   9    61  118  −57     0

[West Phoenicia]

West Phoenician Daredevils manager Mr Bernard Motown has applauded the effort of his team at the World Lacrosse Championships. Currently they sit on 5 wins and 4 losses with three more games to go. They sit in 3rd place and if they can defeat Seraxinbourgh, Qingland and The Kytler Peninsulae than they will progress. Any losses will see The Kytler Peninsulae given the opportunity to snatch the spot.

The four losses are the result of being beaten by Cosumar and New West Guiana two of the higher ranked teams who offer well seasoned, experienced and talented players.

"We are ranked 11th worldwide. But Lacrosse is just not our thing. There are many many teams that can outlay us even on our better days."

Mr Motown has also confirmed that aside from Luiz Debney and Scott the remaining line up are all retiring at the end of this championship and the Summer Olympics. Skipper Brisbane will move to the starting goal keeper. Defender Joshua Indi will replace Jake Prospect, and Raj Kik will replace Audie Cult as forward. It has been a pleasure working with these men, but many feel it is now time to seek other opportunities elsewhere.

Try outs will begin after the Olympics to replace the outgoing team members.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Weekend 2022
Lacrosse near the Finish Line
by Kristen Shephard
Staff Correspondent


Following four straight victories, the Commonwealth National team is on the verge of qualifying for the knockout rounds in the 30th World Lacrosse Championships.

Qadsen's 11-6 win against then group leaders Abanhfleft meant that BP moved ahead of the Fleftics into the top spot—and face them next in the penultimate game of the group stage--although they have played one more match.

The lady laxxers survived a 10-9 upset bid from Iquikukut, who remain winless but have shown improvement, given their performance at Collins Park and previously in dropping a 1 goal overtime defeat against the Qads.

The defense has been the key for Baker Park throughout the tournament. In their 8 victories, they have allowed only 6.5 goals per game, while the two losses see a goal against average double that number. Shaye Jenrich returned as a starter from the last WLC squad, while Megan Ostrander & Madison Schulte played significant minutes in that campaign; both have stepped into the starting roles previously occupied by Shannon Fries and Jessica Rupp while newcomers Dana Dillon and Lynn Nash have excelled off the bench. Keeper Teresa Petruccelli has also come through in succeeding Taryn St Louis in the circle, providing leadership and some excellent passing to start counter attacks.

Midfield was seen as the biggest hole to fill, but Patti Bryce and Elissa Kramer, the rookie duo from University of Ezra, have shown poise and excellent skill and Melissa Farenby, who mainly played in power play situations last time, has been a rock in the center of the field.

Forwards Mary McEnerney and Hayley Magditch picked up where they left off at the end of the collegiate season; the top two scorers in the country (4.68 and 4.51/gm respectively) have continued to prove their pairing in the last World Championship was no fluke. The forward combo from OCC, Morgan Bohmenstiehl and Sydney Moyer, have alternated as the third part of the front line.

While the Group 4 opposition has been fierce and competitive, it has also given a boost to the squad in a way that the shorter format in the former Razenthura did not. Additional time between matches for preparation has been a huge factor in the growth of Team BP.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Lacrosse Lamentations
with Aisling Keane

Okay guys, I'm gonna be talking about two things before we get this Lacrosse Lamentations going. First off, we're going to stay away from the World Lacrosse Championships to talk about a little bit of Olympic lacrosse, and then we're going right back to the WLC to talk about our chances in the group and beyond. Everybody got that? Okay. Let's do it.

Okay, so first off, apparently lacrosse is now included in the Olympics slate, at least the Summer Olympics. But not as an official event yet; just a demonstration event. I believe the difference between an official event and a demonstration event is that you get medals in the former and nothing in the latter except a puffed up chest that you actually won something in an Olympics. No, actually, you do get medals but they don't count in the official tally if you won them in the demonstration events. So that sucks. But oh well. Lacrosse in the Olympics. Who would've thought, eh? Here's a chance for some of these lacrosse-mad nations in the multiverse to strut their stuff in front of a much larger and wider audience than they would usually have with the World Lacrosse Championships. However, that being said, I do have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that the very same people who watch the WLCs are the same people who are going to tune in to the lacrosse Olympic events. Let me tell you, finding illegal streams of Olympic lacrosse is a chore, but for some it might even be a chore worth doing.

Of course, because it's the Olympics, there are lacrosse events for both men and women. I'm not surprised in the least that the APOC Coalition decided to enter in the women's lacrosse event (God knows that there are a helluva lot of women playing lacrosse in the Coalition, especially Abanhfleft) but what surprised me was the fact that the Coalition managed to find twenty (20!) men who not only played lacrosse but also came from an appropriately diverse background! I was half-expecting the Coalition men's lacrosse team to be full of guys from the late Abanhfleft Major Lacrosse (see previous articles to get reference) and actually, in a sense, I got that one right. All twenty players did come from AML or have played in the league at least once in their careers, but what's really surprising is that there is a good sprinkling of Pridnestrovians among that team. I can only assume that men's lacrosse is actually a growing sport over there. Who am I to judge?

First game of men's Olympic lacrosse for the Coalition was against Polkopia. Polkopia is a country that I've heard mentioned in football circles but not lacrosse so I have no idea about their lacrosse program. But if a male Coalition team made up of guys who have played in a struggling league not only scored 20 points against them but also kept them to single digits then maybe it's not that good. Some names in that men's lacrosse team do stick out for those of us who follow lacrosse religiously in Abanhfleft, like Franklyn Van Auken and Bo Bayne, both of the Marble Arch Bandidos, and Bayne got a deserved double hat trick (six goals) against the Polkopians. Special mention though must go to Dwight Srour of the Suwkpel Rush as he almost singlehandedly kept the Polkopians quiet. I wonder if he'll be able to do the same in the LLA when the Rush finally join the league next season...

And now that I have finally gotten Olympic lacrosse out of the way, let's return our attention to the World Lacrosse Championships. Abanhfleft suffered only their second defeat in the group stage of the 30th edition of the WLC against Qasden. Now we all remember how Qasden caused us heartbreak when they knocked us out in WLC... 27, was it? Anyway, that means that Group 4 is now officially the Group of Death of WLC 30 (for me, that is; officially, Group 3 is the real Group of Death). And it just so happens that on the very next day, our game will be against current group leaders Baker Park. They also sit on two losses like us, and actually one of our losses in this tournament have been from the BP team. This game could very well decide who goes on top of the group. There's only one advantage that I can see us having after this, and that's the game in hand. Fat lot of good it will do us though if we lose the next few games. However, it can't be all bad after this, can it? Can it? Please tell me it can't get any worse than this.

[Cassadaigua]

Group 1
Alpine Union 16–10 St Saratoga
Sarzonia 8–10 Cheergirls
United Celtic Peoples 10–8 Clonka Magnus

  Group 1                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Wrexwic                    10    9   1   120   64  +56    27  Q
2 Cheergirls                 10    7   3   116   86  +30    21
3 Sarzonia                   10    6   4   121   99  +22    18
4 Alpine Union               10    6   4   109   89  +20    18
5 St Saratoga                11    5   6   125  119   +6    15
6 United Celtic Peoples      11    3   8    91  140  −49     9
7 Clonka Magnus              10    0  10    64  149  −85     0

Group 2
The Kytler Peninsulae 8–13 Cosumar
Qingland 5–15 Lochario
Seraxinbourgh 14–10 West Phoenicia

  Group 2                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 New West Guiana            10   10   0   144   57  +87    30  Q
2 Cosumar                    11   10   1   157   89  +68    30  Q
3 West Phoenicia             10    5   5   108  104   +4    15
4 The Kytler Peninsulae      10    4   6    93  119  −26    12
5 Seraxinbourgh              11    4   7    91  126  −35    12
6 Lochario                   10    3   7    81  109  −28     9
7 Qingland                   10    0  10    76  146  −70     0

Group 3
Velestria 7–10 Vangaziland
Banija 9–9 Monsa (10–11 OT)
Northwest Kalactin 5–9 Xabia

  Group 3                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                11   11   0   165   76  +89    33  Q1
2 Cassadaigua                10    8   2   124   86  +38    24  Q
3 Banija                     10    6   4   121   99  +22    18
4 Northwest Kalactin         11    4   7    98  124  −26    12
5 Velestria                  10    3   7    82   99  −17     9
6 Xabia                      10    3   7    83  116  −33     9
7 Monsa                      10    1   9    82  155  −73     3

Group 4
Abanhfleft 9–7 Baker Park
Iquikukut 9–12 Juvencus
Bjornoya Republic 13–9 Libonesia

  Group 4                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                 10    8   2   122   72  +50    24
2 Baker Park                 11    8   3   121   87  +34    24
3 Qasden                     10    7   3   114   86  +28    21
4 Juvencus                   10    6   4   100   97   +3    18
5 Libonesia                  10    4   6    90  114  −24    12
6 Bjornoya Republic          11    3   8    90  121  −31     9
7 Iquikukut                  10    0  10    70  130  −60     0

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Lacrosse Lamentations
with Aisling Keane

Well, that was embarrassing. And no, I'm not talking about our team's performance in the World Lacrosse Championships; I actually think that we did pretty well there. No, no, what I'm talking about here is the Olympics. If you'll remember from the last time, lacrosse is now an Olympic event, and the APOC Coalition in its infinite wisdom decided to send both a men's and women's team to the Olympics. But because the WLCs are on at the same time as the Olympics, the Coalition can't call upon the Fleftic women's lacrosse team to form the backbone of the Coalition lacrosse team and so they have to call upon the "B team", so to speak to send out to Republica in the Free Republics.

So how did we do in Olympic lacrosse, eh? Well, first things first, we won in men's lacrosse, but we lost in women's lacrosse. The irony, eh? We're all expecting the women's team to dominate and the men's team to not do so well, but as it turns out, the men's team may actually be our biggest chance at winning an Olympic medal (for a demo event though, so it actually won't count in official tallies). Yes, this is very much alarmist and reactionary, and no, I don't care that I am being very much alarmist and reactionary. The Coalition has always prided itself in being home to one of the best women's lacrosse teams in the multiverse! Well, they all come from one member nation of the Coalition, but still! The Coalition can boast about its members (well, one member) having one three World Lacrosse Championships in a four-year span, a record unequaled before or since. And now we're losing to the Olympic hosts? They don't even play in the World Lacrosse Championships! And you're seriously telling me that we lost against them (albeit narrowly)? What do you think you're playing at?

I did say though that the Coalition women's lacrosse team is very much the Fleftic "B team" with players from the other members of the Coalition sprinkled in there to give the appearance of a team that was actually drawn from all corners of the Coalition. You don't seriously believe that a lacrosse player like Tricia Andrade would choose to suit up for Oontaz, right? Almost every player on the Coalition women's lacrosse team is Fleftic by birth (except for the Pridnestrovians; they're Pridnestrovian by birth and by heart) so you can say that this is Abanhfleft B versus the rest of the multiverse in the Olympics. And we got off to the worst possible start with a narrow 13-11 defeat to hosts Free Republics. Now you can say that an actual drubbing would be the worst possible start to an Olympic campaign but I beg to differ. To have come so close to victory only to snatch defeat from its jaws is a much, much worse start to a situation than an actual trashing because in a trashing, you know you got beat hard. But in a narrow defeat, you're stuck thinking about the what ifs and the could have beens, and in the end it's all a very big blow to morale. How the team reacts from this development moving forward will show if these girls are truly deserving to be counted as Abanhfleft's reserves in international lacrosse competition.

Ahem. And now back to the World Lacrosse Championships. For only the third time in the current competition, the Amazons have been held to single digits. But unlike the last time that this happened, Abanhfleft won, and against the same opponents as well, our "rivals" Baker Park. I use quotation marks around rivals to refer to Baker Park because, simply put, they're not our rivals. At least not in the way that Nephara is to us in international football, Pasarga in the Di Bradini Cup, Anglatia in the Under-18 World Cup, and Drawkland in the World Bowl. Yes, Baker Park are our rivals when it comes to getting top spot and out of the groups in the current WLC, but aside from that, there isn't yet that hint of animosity between our two nations. And that's because Baker Park are a good team that deserve to be where they are right now, in terms of both lacrosse and all the other sports that they participate in. And they've got a mighty impressive defense, I have to say. To force our offense to single digits and giving us as good a game of lacrosse as I've ever seen in my life... You can't buy that kind of skill.

So now we, Abanhfleft are on top of Group 4. Our group is the only group left in the competition where nobody has yet clinched a spot in the knockouts, and if things shape up the way I think they will, this state of affairs will remain until the very last matchday. Talk about exciting times ahead for Fleftic lacrosse! I know I've said it many times before that we are still in the midst of an Iron Age of Lacrosse, but iron is still worth something, right? And imagine the reaction if these girls bring home the trophy in the midst of said Iron Age. It would be proof that rebuilding and regeneration does actually reap rewards. A lacrosse-obsessed girl can dream, eh?

[Vangaziland]

LAX Report
Royals Notch Close Victory

The Vangaziland Royals were caught off guard when facing the tough defense of Velestria. Many of their usual outlets were cut off. The Royals lost the battle for possession in the first half. They only won more face offs during the 4th quarter. It was a sloppy game the Royals would be lucky to walk away with.

"We've seen this before", said Coach Hootsen. "Fatigue starts setting into the team. We saw some winded legs. Veterans stepped up. We worked together as a team to get the win."

Scott McLaughlin was shut out without a goal to his name. Defenders played close on him, even wrapping their stick around to cut off passes. He looked a step slower with his cuts. This lead to missed chances. One pass sailed just past his short outstretched arm. Scott was breathing heavy as the ball sailed out of bounds.

Lizzie Borhanson was limited to 1 goal. She added an assist with a nice pass to sprinting middie Taye James. James had the biggest offensive performance of the night. He tallied 4 goals and 2 assists. His speed and stamina made him a dangerous weapon throughout the game. Part of his efficiency came from nice clearances from the defenders. Players like Mike Swythe made sharp passes with their long sticks.

James preferred over the shoulder catches. Quite a few passes lined up just right for an easy catch. Most were slightly high, forcing James to sprint. "Taye just has the legs to catch up to almost any pass", said Lars Swenson. "It's great having him as a midfield target."

Taye wasn't the only weapon in the center of the pitch. Captain Theo Scandrix scored twice. Scandrix did not record any assists in an offense he often powers. Today he seemed to make passes to assists. He made several give and go passes which Taye James converted into assists. James fed Scandrix with a 4th quarter assist into a long range shot from the captain. Unlike James, many of Theo's goals came from set playcalling and cutting. He almost turned into a fourth attackman.

Stella Dahl also scored a goal from the midfield. Stella showed she could score against a team keyed into the Royals' offense. She is an unassuming weapon that's better than she seems. She sprinted quickly off a screen to catch a James pass. After twisting off her defender, she knelt into a shot. The low trajectory skipped the hard rubber ball along the grass, knee level with the keeper.

Jimmy Lattersen and Sam Perry added goals while subbing in for Scott and Lizzie at different times of the match.

The Royals had to go on a 5-2 run in the 3rd quarter to take control of the game. It took time to adjust to an offense where their best weapons were limited.

"This will happen", McLaughlin said after his performance. "I was a little tired. The defense was also reading me well. We've got some good recovery sessions planned. I should be fresh for the next game."

Peter Strom spoke on giving up 7 goals "Sometimes you give up more shots than you want to", said the keeper. "You have to stay in the game and stop the team from taking the lead." Sowley had several huge late saves. Velestria brought shots even into the last minute. Vannish defensemen made several big tackles in the final minutes. Wilhelmina Stenbeck found herself playing crucial time in the 4th quarter.

When Stenbeck plays alongside Swenson, the Royals' defensive line has quite some size. 6'4 Stenbeck played left, 6'6 Swenson was at center and the stocky 6'2 Mike Swythe played right. Speed was an issue, which was why Strom was forced to make many saves. Stenbeck was fastest on this defensive line. Coach Hootsen has utilized Stenbeck as a sub for Swenson, keeping a big presence at center.

Stenbeck's development may see her starting soon. An anonymous source in team management said Stenbeck is being considered for a starting spot alongside Swenson. "I'm not concerned on whether I start or not", Stenbeck said. "I'm just trying to play my best. I still have a lot of development ahead. Intensity is what it's about. As defenders, we have a major impact on the game."

The Royals have the highest scoring offense with 165 goals.

[Wrexwic]

Wasp Watch
Wrexwic Takes Rematch Against Alpine Union

Wrexwic lost to Alpine Union 12-9 on Matchday 4. The second battle between the two teams has loomed large on the calendar for the Wasps. "I think we're going to game plan and bring a better tempo today", Coach Jacob Daly said before the match. "We've watched a lot of tape on them. Our defense also has experience against them now."

While the Vangaziland Royals are known for their potent offense, the Wasps are known for a crushing defense. Alpine Union caught them off guard in their first encounter. "Our line just has to tighten up", said defenseman Joe Lawrence. The game would become a major defensive effort. Lawrence and Pipps kept up the aggression on the defensive wings.

Lamar Jameson is known for his hard-hitting tackles. The center defenseman stepped up with several big ground balls and clearances. "We did a good job of keeping the line tidy", Jameson said.

The Wasps would give up 4 goals. Keeper Keyon Sowley had a big night with 9 saves. The team from Alpine Union proved they could get shots past Wasp defenders. This remained true. Sowley was there with timely reflexes often enough to affect the score. Wrexwic's offense put up one more goal in their first match. Wrexwic's defense was just that much better in today's late afternoon game.

Wrexwic's offense put up a tactical effort. Scoring was split evenly between 4 players. Jacobsson and Lindblom each scored 2 goals from midfield. Darrian Webb left the game in the 1st quarter with a minor injury to his wrist. This gave Glenn Agle more playing time. He scored 2 goals, as did Glover Webb.

The bout saw two attackmen and two midfielders with two goals each. Most of the goals were called in set plays designed to break down the defense and create space. Each midfielder picked one of their goals up on specific fast break plays.

"It was great to fit into the offense", Agle said. "I didn't expect to play so many minutes, but I studied the plays with the starters. I expected to fit in for a few plays. I was glad to be ready to do it for most of the game."

The Wasps hold a solid lead over Group 1 with a 9-1 record.

[Cassadaigua]

Group 1
Clonka Magnus 8–14 Sarzonia
Cheergirls 13–9 Alpine Union
St Saratoga 6–9 Wrexwic

  Group 1                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Wrexwic                    11   10   1   129   70  +59    30  Q1
2 Cheergirls                 11    8   3   129   95  +34    24  Q
3 Sarzonia                   11    7   4   135  107  +28    21
4 Alpine Union               11    6   5   118  102  +16    18
5 St Saratoga                12    5   7   131  128   +3    15
6 United Celtic Peoples      11    3   8    91  140  −49     9
7 Clonka Magnus              11    0  11    72  163  −91     0

Group 2
West Phoenicia 20–8 Qingland
Lochario 16–11 The Kytler Peninsulae
Cosumar 10–5 New West Guiana

  Group 2                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                    12   11   1   167   94  +73    33  Q
2 New West Guiana            11   10   1   149   67  +82    30  Q
3 West Phoenicia             11    6   5   128  112  +16    18  Q
4 Lochario                   11    4   7    97  120  −23    12
5 The Kytler Peninsulae      11    4   7   104  135  −31    12
6 Seraxinbourgh              11    4   7    91  126  −35    12
7 Qingland                   11    0  11    84  166  −82     0

Group 3
Xabia 9–13 Banija
Monsa 4–8 Velestria
Vangaziland 9–4 Cassadaigua

  Group 3                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                12   12   0   174   80  +94    36  Q1
2 Cassadaigua                11    8   3   128   95  +33    24  Q
3 Banija                     11    7   4   134  108  +26    21  Q
4 Velestria                  11    4   7    90  103  −13    12
5 Northwest Kalactin         11    4   7    98  124  −26    12
6 Xabia                      11    3   8    92  129  −37     9
7 Monsa                      11    1  10    86  163  −77     3

Group 4
Libonesia 13–6 Iquikukut
Juvencus 7–18 Abanhfleft
Baker Park 4–14 Qasden

  Group 4                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                 11    9   2   140   79  +61    27  Q
2 Qasden                     11    8   3   128   90  +38    24  Q
3 Baker Park                 12    8   4   125  101  +24    24  Q
4 Juvencus                   11    6   5   107  115   −8    18
5 Libonesia                  11    5   6   103  120  −17    15
6 Bjornoya Republic          11    3   8    90  121  −31     9
7 Iquikukut                  11    0  11    76  143  −67     0

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Lacrosse Lamentations
with Aisling Keane

So it is, and so it shall be. The fog lifts, and the playoff picture clears. Barring an absolute humiliation against Libonesia in front of our own fans, Abanhfleft will go through on top of Group 4. It's been a real race to get there. I don't even know how we got here in the first place, but I'm glad for it nonetheless. As it stands, we're the group leaders with the worst record out of the four with 9 wins and 2 losses. Vangaziland, winners of WLC 28, have topped Group 3 (aka the real Group of Death) with an undefeated record, 12 wins and no losses at all. Cosumar, themselves a long-standing lacrosse superpower, are just one loss worse than the Vangs. And defending champions Wrexwic have managed to cement top spot in Group 1 and will hang on even if they lose and their nearest challengers Cheergirls wins.

So what does this mean for us moving forward? Well, for one, we've got a bye and a favorable draw ahead of us if we do manage to hold on to first place. However, we really shouldn't count on this as Banija were also the top seed in WLC 28 and supposedly received a favorable draw against a Juvencus team that barely made it past .500 but got knocked out in front of a home crowd 9-6. But I don't think such a thing is going to happen for Abanhfleft this year. For one, we're not the absolute top seed in this tournament. That honor goes to Vangaziland. But if the Vangs were to somehow get Banija'd in Cassadaigua then I will probably end up laughing to kingdom come. And now that I've said that, watch as Abanhfleft bows out of the first playoff stage while Vangaziland goes on to win everything again. I know our luck too much to not believe in jinxes anymore. Just saying.

So as things stand, Abanhfleft gets a bye day along with the other group leaders while seeds 5 to 12 fight it out between each other to determine who gets to go through to the next stage. Frankly, I'm dreading all of those teams because you just never know which team is going to play before your team come the matchday. With our luck, whichever of these teams have had a bit of a middling record coming into the games will suddenly become like peak Vangaziland or Wrexwic and absolutely hand us our asses. And I will be there every step of the way to watch the slow-mo trainwreck as it unfolds.

[Cassadaigua]

Group 1
Wrexwic 15–11 Cheergirls
Alpine Union 13–3 Clonka Magnus
Sarzonia 8–4 United Celtic Peoples

  Group 1                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Wrexwic                    12   11   1   144   81  +63    33  Q
2 Sarzonia                   12    8   4   143  111  +32    24  Q
3 Cheergirls                 12    8   4   140  110  +30    24  Q
4 Alpine Union               12    7   5   131  105  +26    21
5 St Saratoga                12    5   7   131  128   +3    15
6 United Celtic Peoples      12    3   9    95  148  −53     9
7 Clonka Magnus              12    0  12    75  176 −101     0

Group 2
New West Guiana 19–6 Lochario
The Kytler Peninsulae 12–12 West Phoenicia (14–15 OT)
Qingland 12–10 Seraxinbourgh

  Group 2                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                    12   11   1   167   94  +73    33  Q
2 New West Guiana            12   11   1   168   73  +95    33  Q
3 West Phoenicia             12    7   5   143  126  +17    21  Q
4 The Kytler Peninsulae      12    4   8   118  150  −32    12
5 Lochario                   12    4   8   103  139  −36    12
6 Seraxinbourgh              12    4   8   101  138  −37    12
7 Qingland                   12    1  11    96  176  −80     3

Group 3
Cassadaigua 9–4 Monsa
Velestria 14–9 Xabia
Banija 11–7 Northwest Kalactin

  Group 3                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Vangaziland                12   12   0   174   80  +94    36  Q
2 Cassadaigua                12    9   3   137   99  +38    27  Q
3 Banija                     12    8   4   145  115  +30    24  Q
4 Velestria                  12    5   7   104  112   −8    15
5 Northwest Kalactin         12    4   8   105  135  −30    12
6 Xabia                      12    3   9   101  143  −42     9
7 Monsa                      12    1  11    90  172  −82     3

Group 4
Qasden 5–8 Juvencus
Abanhfleft 9–4 Libonesia
Iquikukut 9–9 Bjornoya Republic (11–9 OT)

  Group 4                   Pld    W   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                 12   10   2   149   83  +66    30  Q
2 Qasden                     12    8   4   133   98  +35    24  Q
3 Baker Park                 12    8   4   125  101  +24    24  Q
4 Juvencus                   12    7   5   115  120   −5    21
5 Libonesia                  12    5   7   107  129  −22    15
6 Bjornoya Republic          12    3   9    99  132  −33     9
7 Iquikukut                  12    1  11    87  152  −65     3

Tiebreaker notes:
-- Sarzonia over Cheergirls due to H2H GD (1-1 H2H, Sarzonia +9 on H2H GD)
-- Cosumar over New West Guiana due to H2H GD (1-1 H2H, Cosumar +2 on H2H GD)
-- Qasden over Baker Park on H2H (won both matchups)

Wednesday 1/16- Bye Day for all

Thursday- First round
Byes: (1) Vangaziland, (2) Cosumar, (3) Wrexwic, (4) Abanhfleft

(5) New West Guiana vs (12) West Phoenicia @ New Lakeland Stadium (Winner plays Abanhfleft)
(6) Cassadaigua vs (11) Baker Park @ Concord Heights Stadium (Winner plays Wrexwic)
(7) Qasden vs (10) Cheergirls @ Rutland Stadium (Winner plays Cosumar)
(8) Sarzonia vs (9) Banija @ Grande Mountain Stadium (Winner plays Vangaziland)

[Sarzonia]

Sarzonia was facing a crossroads with two matches remaining. They sat at 6-4, which made them suddenly vulnerable after a 5-1 start gave them a share of the top of the Group 1 table with newfound archrivals Wrexwic.

The second half of qualifying saw the Stars stumble badly, losing three of four, although the team had the two worst teams in the group lined up for the last two matches. They still needed help from their newly-minted enemies to ensure a trip to Cassadaigua. They held up their end of the bargain with a 14-8 victory over a Clonka Magnus team that finished qualifying as the lone winless team and as the team that scored the fewest goals *75) and finished level with Group 2 doormat Qingland for most goals conceded with 176. Then, the Stars clamped down on United Celtic Peoples with a 8-4 triumph in front of 29,138 fans at Franz Braddock Stadium in Woodstock, a match that saw the field cleared from the largest blizzard in Woodstock in 10 years with just two hours to go before the opening faceoff.

Woodstock's Public Works department were the real stars of the evening (no pun intended) for getting the roads cleared despite 41 centimetres of snow pummeling the area with the city's network of underground heaters going offline until the snow was well blanketing the city.

"We had to get Interstate 17 cleared and we frankly had to beg, borrow and steal snow plows from nearby jurisdictions to get things done," said WPW assistant director Joseph Ferragamo. "It took a lot of time for us to get our snow plows into circulation, plus we had to dip into our rainy day fund to pay people who had Bobcats and other four-wheel drive vehicles to help clear the streets."

Woodstock Public Schools closed for the first time in five years as Superintendent Annetta Barkley decide that keeping the streets clear of school buses and private vehicles driving children to school was more important than the Citywide Assessment Exams scheduled for 15 January. She said the exams would be rescheduled for 22 January.

As for the lacrosse team, defensive coordinator Bill Houlder was grimacing despite his unit's dominance, even though the Stars held United Celtic Peoples (3-9) 0-5 on the man-up. Defender Landon Bransen even scored a man down goal for Sarzonia with 1:54 left in the third quarter, turning around a match that saw United Celtic Peoples battle back from a 5-0 halftime deficit to turn it into a 5-4 nailbiter. That led to the Stars scoring three unanswered goals before the frame concluded. Attack Matt Archer closed out the scoring with 9:58 left in the fourth quarter.

Sarzonia's reward? Just a matchup against Banija, which finished with an 8-4 record and a third place finish in Group 3. Sarzonia earned the No. 8 seed and will be considered the "home" side at Grande Mountain Stadium. They certainly will make themselves feel at home in the local college bar scene, along with a 40-something office worker whom the team has ensured will be on the flight to Grande Mountain with them.

As for lacrosse considerations, the Stars haven't faced Banija, but they're familiar with their country of origin having competed there during the previous World Lacrosse Championships. The Stars will no doubt use the 9-1 drubbing they took from New West Guiana as motivation to play one of their better matches against the co-hosts from the previous edition.

In other news, President Grant Haffner has announced support for the Balanced Budget and Government Shutdown Prevention Act that is currently being debated in Parliament. If the legislation is approved, it would require any federal budget to avoid budget deficits except in the case of a "significant economic downturn." It also would require surplus funds be deposited into a federal rainy day fund, which will be called the federal reserve.

The provision to prevent a potential government shutdown would require Parliament to pass continuing resolutions to fund all government agencies at previous fiscal year levels for two-week periods until a full fiscal year budget can be approved and signed by the President. If the President does not sign legislation approving a continuing resolution, the bill would mandate "emergency spending" that would keep essential services such as food stamps and federally subsidised housing funded.

Haffner said he hopes the legislation would clear both house of Parliament for him to sign once he returns from Cassadaigua at the conclusion of Sarzonia's appearance in the World Lacrosse Championships.

[Vangaziland]

Vangaziland Royals lacrosse ended the group stage of WLC 30 with a BYE. The team also received a BYE on the first playoff match day. The Vannish ran practice hard through the end of the season. Recovery is just as important as training. Players would also get a chance to scout their opponents live as the playoffs began.

Vangaziland chartered Dagan buses and vans to send Royals to their choice of WLC game. They would each have different reasons for choosing a particular match. Underlying it all was a love for the sport. The players could enjoy being spectators in a foreign country. They were in Rushmore. Many players would be curious to check out the terrain and architecture as they passed through another sporting region.

This wasn't the Vangazis' first time in Cassadaigua. Both teams played Group 3. For this reason, less players went to see the match between Cassadaigua and Baker Park. Several still took a small bus to Concord Heights Stadium. Some went to watch their newfound friends play. Wilhelmina Stenbeck and Stella Dahl were among some of the Vangazi headed to Concord Heights. Stenbeck made friends with Dagan Alyssa Mosley after guarding her in the group stages. The two are known for tough play and respect each others styles.

Dahl notched her first start against Cassadaigua and holds sentimental feelings about the team. Dahl is rooting for a Dagan win to help build their initial rankings.

The most crowded bus headed to New Lakeland to watch New West Guiana play West Phoenicia. NWG was one team to remain undefeated for much of the group stage alongside Vangaziland. They had a slight lead in points differential. They were a threat to take the #1 seed from Vangaziland.

Lizzie Borhanson is among one of the Royals sent to watch KWP vs. NWG. The Guyanese enter with the second highest scoring offense of the first round. The Phoenician Daredevils sport an oft-marred 7-5 record that secured a third place finish. At goal for the Daredevils is Prince Jericho Bush.

Lizzie's reason for going could be summed up by the way she turned to Peter Strom and said, "How I'd like to have a go at the Prince." She smacked her lips as she talked under glossy eyes. One may have thought she was attracted to the Phoenician. Instead she simply imagined the prospect of having a highlight performance against Phoenician royalty.

The two Empires have a rivalry which stretches back several World Baseball Classic seasons. "Scott and I would probably try to race each other to score five goals", she said with a piercing laugh.

"Get in his head", keeper Strom advised. "Flirt with him. I bet he'd crack." Lizzie laughed in response.

Only a few players went to see the other two matches. Qasden has eliminated Vangaziland from the playoffs before. They were playing the Cheergirls. Janet Reesedottir was sent here to scout both teams.

Sarzonia stirred up some interest by going at Wrexwic, but they were playing Banija. The Royals had seen the latter in the group stage. Stevie Williams and Sam Perry traveled to Grand Mountain Stadium to scout Sarzonia. "The team from Sarzonia looks motivated enough to cause an upset", said Perry to Stevie while riding in the small bus.

Theo Scandrix and Coach Hootsen also traveled to watch Sarzonia v. Banija. As the captain and coach, they were responsible for much of the playcalling. The wanted to watch the two teams with the chance to advance to the Vangazi. The others would watch tape of this game after practice.

The Royals trained hard all season. It was nice to be tourists. They all ate in local restaurants. The trip was a mix of travel and scouting, as they were all prepared to keep a close eye on both teams they'd see. It was also a time for teammates to bond. The bit of recreation might even rejuvenate the Royals for the playoffs.

Vangaziland's top tier seed saw them watching the early matches from the shadows of Dagan stadiums.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

BP face off against hosts
by Paul Vickers
The Daily Mail Staff Writer

Reporting from Concord Heights, Cassidaigua:

The Commonwealth National Lacrosse team will look to take a step further than their previous venture in the World Lacrosse Championships when they square off against the host nation here in the preliminary round playoff at Concord Heights Stadium.

Baker Park slumped to a third place finish in Group 4 with losses in their final two games against to sides that finished ahead of them, and by virtue of having a bye for the final matchday, saw their chances of getting a higher seeding dashed, as they had the lowest goal difference among the five teams that finished with 24 points.

Head Coach Brittaney Franklin believes that this match might be the biggest played in the history of the sport in the Commonwealth. "Obviously we have a short history in international competition, and the win against Qasden last time was important. But we will be facing off against the tournament hosts, in their national stadium with a large partisan crowd. I think the difference between this game and the one in Busukuma (in WLC 29) is we were happy to be there for that game and we had a higher expectation this time. I think we have improved tremendously, but we still need a big jump to get up into the conversation with the Fleftics, Qads, Wrexwic and even this Cassadaigua team."

As an added twist to the matchup, it will be the only one of the four where both nations field all-women squads; the other team to have a single sex lineup, Cheergirls, also advanced to the playoff. Franklin thinks it will make for an interesting plot, but not affect the game at all. "They obviously have more experience in playing under these rules (men's) than we do, I'm not positive by I think domestically they use the same rules as well. We've been fast learners and we understand some of the nuances better than we did last time."

On a broader front, the Dagans will be looking to get their first sporting victory over the Bees on this third meeting; the previous two matchups were soccer battles of the sexes—a victory by the BP Under-21 men in the DBC in Valanora and a draw by Cassidaigua's men against the BP Women's National team in the BP Open Cup on their way to capturing the title. Franklin laughed at the thought of an all-girl grudge match. "Oh no, we know full well that those things have no bearing, although it's an interesting trivia fact. This is a game between two teams from countries that have a respect for one another on and off the field of sports and win or lose nothing should change that."

[Cassadaigua]

Playoff time!
By Rachel Nelson, Concord Heights Times

Concord Heights Stadium will be buzzing as the national team from Cassadaigua qualified into the playoffs by virtue of the gaining the #6 seed. A 9-3 record, that saw them beat everyone in the group twice except for Vangaziland, who they never beat, and Banija, who they split with. Otherwise, the team did a good job taking care of business against the rest of the group. A couple of teams that had a rank, such as Northwest Kalactin and Velestria soon found out that the rank did not mean a whole much without anything backing it up. Interestingly, Cassadaigua would have lost the tiebreaker on Banija for second if they had finished 9-3 as well, instead of 8-4. Banija’s stunning loss to Monsa, a team that went 1-11, kept the Dagans in second. Every dog has their day as they say, and we will be happy for that upset when it happened.

While our fans will be seeking out our own game, against Baker Park, there are three other games to entertain fans throughout the Matriarchy. Speaking of Baker Park, this nation has been most known to us from soccer escapades, whether it be in junior tournaments, or their Baker Park Open Cup. They finished 8-4, but only finished third due to losing the tiebreaker with Qasden. The Baker Park team is the type of roster that our fans would likely support quite strongly if it was not for this head to head to matchup. They are an all-female team as well, coached by Brittaney Franklin. The team ranges between 19 and 22 years of age, and yes, they are collegiate stars. Chrissy Newhart, a businesswomen out of Concord Heights tell us, “So disappointed to have to play them. That’s who I was going to adopt in the playoffs!” Raquel Oliveras, also from Concord Heights agrees, “Like that team a lot. I guess even if we lose we can still root for them a little bit. I wish we could be playing other teams right now, though, and be meeting later in the tournament.”

Other first round matchups will see New West Guiana battle West Phoenicia at New Lakeland Stadium. New West Guiana will be favored, but West Phoenicia can certainly pull off that upset. Qasden, the team that won the tiebreaker on Baker Park, meets up with Cheergirls. That’s another all-female roster, but are teenagers, as opposed to being college girls. Interesting nation they are. Finally, Sarzonia, a legend of the tournament overall, meets Banija. Byes went to Vangaziland, who went 12-0, as well as Cosumar, Wrexwic, and Abanhfleft. The winner of our game sees Wrexwic in the next round.

[Cassadaigua]

Schedule and locations:
(5) New West Guiana vs (12) West Phoenicia @ New Lakeland Stadium (Winner plays Abanhfleft)
(6) Cassadaigua vs (11) Baker Park @ Concord Heights Stadium (Winner plays Wrexwic)
(7) Qasden vs (10) Cheergirls @ Rutland Stadium (Winner plays Cosumar)
(8) Sarzonia vs (9) Banija @ Grande Mountain Stadium (Winner plays Vangaziland)

Results:
New West Guiana 12–10 West Phoenicia
Cassadaigua 14–16 Baker Park
Qasden 9–9 Cheergirls (10–11 OT)
Sarzonia 10–9 Banija

Second Round
(1) Vangaziland vs (8) Sarzonia @ Starksville Stadium
(4) Abanhfleft vs (5) New West Guiana @ Winchester Stadium
(2) Cosumar vs (10) Cheergirls @ Brattleboro Stadium
(3) Wrexwic vs (11) Baker Park @ Victoriaville Stadium

[Vangaziland]

LAX Report
Vangaziland & Sarzonia: Matchups

Sarzonia defeated a motivated Banijan team 10-9 in round 1 of the WLC 30 playoffs. Both teams engaged in a battle that went wire to wire. Neither team wanted to let anything get by them. Both teams endured a tough group stage to get here. Sarzonia lined up in Group 1 with Wrexwic. They finished 2nd in their group at 8-4.

Banija finished 3rd in Group 3 alongside Vangaziland. A hard charging team from Cassadaigua upset Banija's chance to finish second. Banija also finished with an 8-4 record. Banija's offense scored 2 more goals than Sarzonia in the group stage. Sarzonia's defense scored 4 less goals than Banija. The matchup was just as close as the final score dictated.

Banija and Sarzonia sit quite close to each other in rankings. Banija is #10, while Sarzonia is #12. Sarzonia's victory will put the team at least close to usurping Banija next season.

Sarzonia can improve their rankings if they win their second round matchup. They will face the Vangaziland Royals at Starksville Stadium. Vangaziland is in strong form. The Royals were the only team to finish the group stage undefeated. They tout the highest scoring offense along with a defense that has shown an ability to close out games.

One way to break down the upcoming match is to look at player matchups. Sarzonia and Vangaziland will both bring lineups that aren't just talented. A look at size shows both teams also bring large, athletic players into the fray.

A) Brett Hedrick v. D) Lars Swenson
6'3, 210 lbs. v. 6'6, 255 lbs.

It is highly likely that Vangaziland's defense will set Lars Swenson on Brett Hedrick. Swenson normally plays center defense. He is capable of playing the wings if he must. Swenson is not exactly a fast player. He has the stamina and quickness to keep up with most attackmen. His size brings a big body to throw behind tackles.

Hedrick brings size of his own. He likely won't be intimidated by the Vangazi. Swenson will have to fight his way into Hedrick's head if he hopes to shut him down.

"The thing we see about Sarzonia from their group stage, is that they still believe they're a top team", said Swenson. "They acted surprised to lose to Wrexwic because they still believe in their nation's glory days in the sport. That will make them dangerous opponents", said the defenseman.

LSM) Khalid al Batani v. M) Rico Wikström
6'3, 185 lbs. v. 6'3, 180 lbs.

This is one of the most likely pairings of the match. It would be unlikely for either team to not stick their tallest middie on the other. Rico has seen a reduction in time for Stella Dahll. What Stella lacks in size, she makes up with unassuming shot skills. She will likely see less minutes as the Royals will put a big body on the other team's long stick middie.

The use of a long stick implies al Batani is very much a defensive midfielder. Rico is not the highest scoring Vangazi. Khalid may try to switch. They can expect Rico to fight to stay assigned to his 6'3 counterpart. A big part of switching will be setting a pick against Rico. The 6'3 guard is known for barreling into set opponents. It would not be a pleasant screen to set.

Rico is known for being a facilitator. A long stick defender may cut off his passing lanes. This may hurt the midfielder's production even more.

D) Landon Bransen v. A) Scott McLaughlin
6'1, 220 lbs. v. 5'6, 200 lbs.

Scott McLaughlin arrived from nowhere to make his name known. He replaced Tony Tute in the lineup. Both players specialize in playing behind goal. Some Vannish coaches call this the third wing. Vangaziland often fades into a shifting triangle with Scott left and behind the net, Lizzie at the top of the box and Brick on the other wing. The attackmen run different cuts and plays from this formation. Midfield offense is designed to work with this triangle. Scott and Lizzie often switch spots, though Lizzie pushes more to a side wing than behind the goal.

Scott is known for being a bulky shot creator. One way to slow this may be to put the heaviest defender on him. There's always a chance Bransen can guard Borhanson up top. She rarely stays in the center of the field, when a center defender guards her. She shifts the triangle in most of those situations. Scott may be listed as a wing, but his patterns will bring him close to the goal often. The attackman often plays near center when he switches to the top of the box. He is a real threat near the center of the field.

Bransen's height advantage might limit fast break passes, though midfielders usually have to worry more about this. Scott will utilize screens and varied playcalling to gain space. Many Vangazi have a fine touch in making low passes into Scott's zone. He often holds his stick in the center of his wide body. This gives a central target the defenders would have trouble reaching around to. This is especially true when Scott staggers one shoulder, twisting diagonally to make it harder for a wrap-around check.

Scott also knows how to use his weight like a lever. He often pops up from his low center of gravity to toss weight up into taller defenders. Like Tute, Scott often drives with his back to the goal, only to twist and shoot. He is capable of shfting his stick in his hands and shooting with his off hand. This makes him slippery to guard.

There are many other players on both teams that will have an impact on the game. Some of these matchups may be harder to predict in a sport where lineups can change based on matchups. Both teams will look for an edge. The Sarzonians will hope to channel experience and skill from the golden age of their nation's LAX.

The Vangazi look to push towards a return to the big game.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Lacrosse Lamentations
with Aisling Keane

Here we go, here we go, here we go. We finally know who we shall face in the playoffs. The teams finally head to Cassadaigua for the knockout stages of the 30th World Lacrosse Championships, and I'd like to say that it's about time for it as well. I think the home and away format for the group stage was a fun addition to a tournament that has always needed more love than it gets, but I think that it's about time that the host nation actually began hosting sporting stuff.

So in this format, with 28 teams divided into four groups, the four group winners (Vangaziland, Cosumar, Wrexwic, and the Democratic Republic) all receive byes to the second round of the playoffs while the other eight sides to have placed second and third in their respective groups have to fight it out against each other to earn that place in the second round. As the fourth seed among the group leaders, Abanhfleft had the honour of facing the winner of the 5th versus 12th matchup, e.g. New West Guiana and West Phoenicia. Remember that viral blog post from somewhere during World Cup 81 qualifying (or was it World Cup 80 qualifying?) that did a "study" analysing the directions which the participant countries had in their "shorthand" names. I just remembered it because of West Guiana and West Phoenicia. I hope you catch my drift.

But back to lacrosse, yeah? So apparently West Guiana won against West Phoenicia, and I can't say that I actually preferred that kind of result as opposed to the other one where West Phoenicia could have won and faced us in the playoffs. And I'll tell you why I would have preferred West Guiana to West Phoenicia. If you've been following the Fleftic national lacrosse team for as long as I have then you will remember that West Guiana was the nation that we defeated in WLC 22 to win our first ever title in the competition. They were also the hosts of that edition so I love to think about the fact that we won the trophy right under their noses. I'm petty that way.

Now let me tell you about why I wouldn't have wanted to play West Phoenicia in the playoffs. I remember these guys knocking us out in WLC 28 in Banija, and believe me, that stung. Probably the only thing that didn't make it sting even more was the fact that Banija got knocked out in the same stage, and by an under .500 Juvencus side as well! And who can forget that brawl in Newmanistan between Fleftic and Phoenician fans in the 24th International Basketball Championships? The Phoenicians even had the gall to call us liars and say that we started the fight first! I mean, what the heck, bro? No, really? Such a shame to think that Sixth Man still haven't got paid for all the damages and injuries that they got during the brawl...

But enough about the past. We are now in the present looking ahead to the future. And the future looks neither really bright nor really dark. This new lacrosse team of ours definitely has it in them to win a medal or two to continue the legacy of the Fearsome Threesome. But let's all not forget that we are still in the Iron Age of Fleftic Lacrosse. If we don't win anything in this tournament then that's all right. However, we should also remember that there will eventually come a time that we can no longer keep using the fact that we're in a transition as a reason to keep losing. One day we will be expecting trophies from this team once again, and if they can start winning again today then that's a good thing. But they will have to win one day. I just hope that I'll still be alive to appreciate it when it happens.

[Wrexwic]

The Wrexwic Wasps closed out their season against Cheergirls. The game was another close one for the Wasps. The team brought a less physical approach in both games against Cheergirls. Defense was more about cutting off passing lanes and picking up ground balls faster. It was a good way for the Wasps to refine their fundamentals.

Webb once again used his size as a force on offense. He finished with 4 goals after scoring 3 times in the teams' first meeting. Webb spoke out against the change in tactics. "I don't think we needed to change anything", said the attackman. "Surely if they play the sport, they can take checks. We shouldn't take it easy on them physically."

Jaye Lindblom scored 1 goal, and had 2 assists. Glenn Agle scored twice while playing much of the second half for Darrian Webb. Both Lindblom and Agle were looking forward to the day after Wrexwic's win. The two youngest members of the Wasps planned a party with Wrexwic's U18 All Star team. The junior players had seen the Cheergirls on TV and couldn't wait to meet them.

Glenn and Jaye rented a clubhouse on the outskirts of Southline. The two professional players dipped into their funds. The small building sat on top of a small hill that overlooked part of the city. The clubhouse was surrounded by tall pine trees. A large pool ran from inside of the clubhouse out to the patio. It turned out to be a sunny day, though it was only 84 degrees. A few lazy clouds hung in the sky.

The group set a playlist based on songs the guests wrote on a list. One of the upcoming defensemen worked the tablet connected to the sound system. Surely one of the Cheergirls would want to work with him in the booth. He was one of the funniest members of his team. He was likely to end up on Wrexwic's national team in a few seasons.

Clubhouse workers prepared fresh barbeque and grilled vegetables. There were a few other dishes served, including vegan options. Dessert included an ice cream sundae bar with a wide range of flavors and toppings.

Lacrosse would be a topic on many of the Wrexish boys' minds. Some would wonder what it was like for the Cheergirls to play in the WLC. Others might want to know what lacrosse is like in their nation. They talked about scouting, college and making it to the pros.

At one point, a group of the Cheergirls and Junior Wrex really wanted water guns... HUGE water guns. Jaye Lindblom volunteered to get some, since his truck was there. As a pro player in a Vannish league, Jaye had a really nice luxury SUV in Southline. He had more cars in Vangaziland. His truck handled most tasks around Wrexwic when he stayed there.

Jaye really liked Chelsea. As they rode to the store, he tried making her laugh. He had a way of describing things happening around him with a snarky view. His sense of humor was low key enough that it didn't seem like he was trying to make her laugh. It just seemed like he had a quirky eye for things. After loading the truck up with large, bright water guns, Jaye leaned in to give Chelsea a hug. If she reacted with anything less than revulsion, he'd lean in for a kiss.

But they couldn't delay too long. They had to deliver the supplies before the partygoers got restless.

Agle spent time trying to entertain Rachel Gray. His personality could be a little wilder than Jaye's. He kept diving into the pool trying to make a huge splash. A few of the Junior Wrex hung around him, sharing laughs. As they started to tease him, Glenn jokingly replied, "Don't bug me just because you're too nervous to talk to the girls." This drew nervous laughter from the All-Stars. They could tell by his tone of voice that he was just ragging them. They were glad to meet a pro player. Most of them would follow his footstep and become pros. Some would even join the national team.

Agle and Lindblom closed out the night with a guitar duo. The Vannish band Space Ogres was known for its dueling guitars. The two Wrexish players played one of the group's slower songs. They sung together some time after the sun had set. It was a deep song about meeting new people and the circle of life.

People from both sides exchanged information. It would be really easy to stay in contact through social media. They would have to do this again sometime, many of the guests seemed to think. The event gave Jaye, Glen and the Cheergirls a quick break before the playoffs.

After beating Qasden in overtime, the Cheergirls find themselves facing #1 ranked Cosumar in the 2nd round. Their experience against the Wasps may help the girls in the postseason and further down the road in their WLC careers.

[Cheergirls]

(Contents of this conversation are not public knowledge).

Kenzie Oliver: I vote Courtney as the MVP of the entire tournament!

Courtney Barnett: Thanks, but there have been a lot of other great people too. People that have done a lot more then I have.

Tara Snyderman: Don’t sell yourself short. If not for your goalkeeping, I don’t get the game winner.

Courtney Barnett: Thanks, but there are better people in this tournament. I gave up 20 goals in one game.

Kenzie Oliver: Yeah, and we were unranked and now look at us, we’re advancing further in this then even the host nation!

Tara Snyderman: That made you stronger, Courtney. I know how much you hated that, but it made you even better.

Chelsea Moore: Good job, team. Really a fantastic effort to knock out Qasden. We are really doing well. Cosumar is tough, they were the number one ranked team. We can beat them, too, I know we can!

Kenzie Oliver: Maybe we will get the support of the fans in the match. It would be an amazing result.

Tara Snyderman: We have Courtney Barnett in goal. It’s Cosumar that needs to be scared.

Courtney Barnett: I will do the best that I can.

Kenzie Oliver: So Chelsea, how is it going with that guy, Jaye, from Wrexwic, he is so hot by the way, I approve of your relationship.

Chelsea Moore: We had an enjoyable evening and have been spending a lot of time keeping in contact. He is really making me confident that we can beat Cosumar, too. He’s a great guy. We are not in a relationship, officially, but I want it to be.

Tara Snyderman: That Baker Park team they are playing, that is no pushover, though.

Chelsea Moore: He knows. I like makeup of the Baker Park team. Another all woman team, but older then us, so I don’t know if they will be quite as gentlemanly with them. If by some miracle we play them again, it would be amazing. Not to imply that we need a miracle. We have Courtney.

Kenzie Oliver: That’s right!

Courtney Barnett: Trying to get us much studying of them done as I can. They only lost one time, so it is hard to find anything of them doing something wrong. They are a very fluid team in the way they attack and defend.

Tara Snyderman: Maybe they will take us lightly.

Kenzie Oliver: Doubt it, they will come at us. We’re doing real good, though. Keep it rolling!

Chelsea Moore: Believe! We believe!

[Sarzonia]

It all came down to the final minute.

Sarzonia were trailing 9-8 when the final one disappeared from the minute hand. Stars fans in attendance slumped their shoulders, started staring at the floor in front of them, and began to gather their belongings for the sombre trek back to their hotels. Seemingly every attack the Stars had put forth throughout the second half was completely stymied by Banijan goaltender Malamin Faye.

Little did those downcast Stars fans realise, that was when the magic would suddenly start happening. It started with defender Landon Bransen selling out to steal a pass between Banijan middies by diving and fully extending his crosse to snag the ball. He then scrambled to his feet and launched a desperation heave that found the stick of attack Brett Hedrick. He then bulled his way to the front of the crease and beat Faye with a diving shot with 46 seconds remaining.

Stars fans looked up when the heard cheering, then they joined in on the fun as they'd suddenly tied the match. They would soon have reason to celebrate even more. Jon Austin easily won the faceoff, then fired a pass to Hedrick, whom Banija was keying on to prevent him from beating them again, but that played into Hedrick's hands. He launched a last moment pass to Byron Dylan and the quiet third member of the starting attack unit from the Stars found the back of the net with just 11 seconds to go.

Suddenly, the same shoulders that had slumped were no longer that way. Downcast sets of eyes were now looking for people to hug. When the final gun sounded and the Stars had earned a come from behind 10-9 victory over Banija, the Stars players rushed onto the field to celebrate. The fans cheered, screamed, hugged each other, and many of them shed tears of joy.

For a team that still has the most WLC titles in history, it may have looked odd to see the team celebrate a first playoff round victory that way, but after the disappointment of the previous edition, which included a 9-1 defeat to New West Guiana, a win, especially in such dramatic fashion, was worth celebrating.

They knew their season might come to a disappointing end in the next round. They knew Vangaziland were the only undefeated side in the group stage. They knew Sarzonia hadn't officially punched their ticket to the knockout rounds until the last day of the group stages. Those would be thoughts for tomorrow.

For tonight, it would be a wild celebration at the local bars for the fans. Drink tabs would run well into the hundreds, shots would flow, and loud music would blare from the jukeboxes of the many college bars throughout Grande Mountain. For the Stars, they would go to their rooms to get rest. They had taken a vow as a team to have a "dry" postseason run and not drink. They would save drinking for the finals if they end up hoisting the trophy for the sixth time in history.

As for President Grant Haffner, he was too busy celebrating in the executive suit at the stadium to notice that the legislation he'd championed passed a key test in the House of Delegates. It received a favourable recommendation from the House Finance Committee. Haffner hoped the vote would coincide with his return to Woodstock, or, better yet, that the bill would be awaiting his signature after he celebrated another world championship.

[Vangaziland]

The team usually practiced throughout the afternoon. Once a week, they met in the morning for unconventional training. It was considered to be a part of their conditioning. A big part of lacrosse is contact. Players like Scott McLaughlin are tough, seeming to dive into contact instead of avoiding it. Some may have wondered where this resilience comes from.

Every Tuesday morning, the team trains in Judo. They warmed up with exercises and jogging before practicing maneuvers. The session includes 20 minutes of intense sparring. This part was always the most fun for the Vangazi. Lacrosse is a physical sport. In some ways it can feel weird playing defense with a stick in your hands. It feels like a physical limitation. It feels more natural to tackle using one's arms along with the upper body, as opposed to lacrosse's shoulder dives.

Now the players get the chance. judo and jiu-jitsu are popular in Vangaziland for an odd reason. They are major parts of Vannish military training. A policy of 18 months of conscript service was in place until 2016. In the Army, part of the judo training comes in the forms of unit sport leagues. It builds interest in the fighting discipline that helps soldiers gain interest in the training. The league becomes a topic of conversation, also brining attention to the training.

Most of the team members did their 18 months, or some substitution program for it. Things like volunteer firefighting could have been used in place of the military service, which was catered more to training than deployments.

The Royals were also making judo an interesting bit of physical training. Matchups seen during the sparring bouts could be fun to watch. One interesting pairing was between Wilhelmina Stenbeck and Rico Wikström. Both players had similar size. Stenbeck was 6'4 to Rico's 6'3.Stenbeck was listed 5 lbs heavier at 185. The difference in both players' official Vannish Athletic Department scouting tags would identify which player was tough enough to win most sparring. These are the 1-2 word identifiers seen alongside certain roster spots.

Rico has been identified by Vannish scouts as a facilitator. The tag also exists in basketball and soccer. It means the Vannish midfielder is great at passing and setting up plays. This is different than a fancy passer or a floor (field) general. Stenbeck has the tag of enforcer. This tag is also found in soccer and hockey. This is a player who likes to scrap. They don't mind picking up fouls if it proves a point. An enforcer can take a hit as well as they can dish it out. In that case, Stenbeck dishes it pretty well. She has been known for making picture-worthy tosses of Rico in sparring.

The moves are amplified because both players are both so tall and quick. It's a real scene when the two go at it with fresh stamina. Rico has been getting better as the season has gone on, adapting to the tough Vannish woman.

Two women who took judo less seriously were Stella Dahl and Janet Reesedottir. The two were similar in size. As a keeper, Janet was less of a fighter. She often caught a case of the giggles. She was a little stronger than Stella, so she could just clinch and giggle. It made Stella so angry. Dahl, the Vannish midfielder, internet searched 'how to do a leg sweep' to try to start sweeping the keeper out of these holds. It never seemed to work.

The other Vannish woman on the team was Lizzie Borhanson. She was also 5'7, but had 25-30 lbs of muscle on Stella and Janet. She was a fighter. She had her sights set on the captain. This was for a few reasons. They were listed at the same height and weight. A big part of Lizzie wanted to be the team's captain. Lizzie was also what has been dubbed a 'manizer'. She has been known to date men just to break hearts.

Theo Scandrix has been wary of her advances in the past. He was nervous when she volunteered to be his sparring partner. Just before the season started, he told her he couldn't date her. He wouldn't feel right as her captain. She didn't take that well at all. Now she lined up to fight him throughout the season's physical practices.

The two went back and forth evenly each match. They were one of the most equal matchups on the team. It was always a surprise who would toss who. Lizzie was just as aggressive with her captain as she is on the field of play. She's known for her shooting speed. This speaks highly of her upper body strength. Scandrix isn't listed as having a scouting tag. He's still known as the engine of the midfield. Scandrix may have the most stamina on the team. Theo tries to clench when sparring Liz. He's strong enough to fight from being tossed fully. Half-throws are worth less points in sporting competition.

As the team prepares to meet Sarzonia in the next round, they prepare by thrashing each other. They are not intimidated by contact. Now that the playoffs are starting, every player will need to step up their defensive intensity. Everything is on the line. The Vangazi know advancing is not guaranteed. They must train, prepare and then train some more. They hope to bring a physical game.

The Royals will try not to take their opponent for granted. If Sarzonia will beat the Royals, they'll play an opponent waiting with both eyes open.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Laxxers oust host, face champs next.

(CPA) Concord Heights, Cassadaigua--The National Lacrosse team upset the host nation Cassadaigua 16-14 at Concord heights Stadium to advance to the quarterfinals of the 30th World Championships.

Mary McEnerney had 5 goals while Haley Magditch & Morgan Bohmenstiehl chipped in a pair of tallies apiece as the Commonwealth held on late against a fierce Dagan comeback.

The winners now advance to take on Wrexwic in Victoriaville; the defending champion Wasps had a bye as the 3rd seed and will be looking to advance to their third consecutive semi-final berth.

score by quarter

CBP:  2  6  4  4
CAS:  3  4  2  5

[Cassadaigua]

Vangaziland 14-11 Sarzonia
Abanhfleft 17-8 New West Guiana
Cosumar 10-11 Cheergirls (3rd Party scorination provided by Newmanistan)
Wrexwic 13-11 Baker Park

Semifinals:
(1) Vangaziland vs (4) Abanhfleft @ New Lakeland Stadium, New Lakeland
(3) Wrexwic vs (10) Cheergirls @ Concord Heights Stadium, Concord Heights