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by Whalestron » Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:13 pm
by Zjaum » Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:46 am
by Saxatoon » Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:46 am
by Talchyon » Thu Aug 30, 2018 9:44 pm
Whalestron wrote:Sarah Osborne
The Fight
The intern had barely been outside of the car for a moment before she was bombarded by various flavors of ice cream. Had she recently broken up with someone, or failed a test, she might have found the whole situation glorious. But the partially-melted creamy goodness landed on her shoes, running shoes that hadn’t cost more than fifteen dollars, sure, but they were her shoes!
“That’s it!” She yelled. The lady, still dolled up in her ‘entertainer’ costume, marched forward. The ice cream merely bounced off of her or fell short of the raging monster that was Sarah. “I have a huge job interview tomorrow and I am not going to have ice cream thrown at me by some creep!” The girl grabbed the man by the collar, hoisting him towards her as she began violently preparing to punch him, the absolute madness of it all!
Zjaum wrote:Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln
Aubree loved ice cream. She enjoyed it lots. However, she had a very specific set of taste buds, and her local drugstore only had vanilla. As a direct result of this, she got giddy seeing all the flavors, taking a brief moment to savor each flavor as they were flung directly at her. Different flavors, obviously, got different reactions. "Okay. Great! Meh. Oh my gosh, they actually make that- Ech! That's not half bad. Uh... oh, ouch, that's a golf ball. Ah, shoot, my teeth hurt now. Oh golly. Ow, that's another ball. Do you know how fast and hard golf balls are at point-blank, sir? You're supposed to fling them dozens of yards, but they barely make one- ow. You're lucky that I have the practical hull of a battleship or else- ouch. HEY, I'm talking to yo- oh, fun, black cherry!"
Zjaum wrote:Her demeanor was growing a little grumpier but was mollified by the ice cream. Two forces warred within her, whether to be happy or angry. She decided to go with both, resulting in an odd mix of emotions she'd never felt before as she grabbed hold of the iron mid-swing.
Saxatoon wrote:The battle was fierce, well, perhaps that would be poor choice in words. The battle was definitely a battle. That much is for sure. And during the escalating climax of it all, a spotted black and white figure emerged from just around the corner, where a patch of long grass now lay unmolested.
"You'd had your fun ruffian! Now you face a true he-...".
Just as the lanky Mootown Maniac leapt forward to deliver his savior-esqe speech, a particularly wet ball of frozen delight struck him down, knocking the loose grass from his teeth. He tried to disagree with this distasteful action against him with a flurry of curses, but again was struck. Though this time, it was a completely solid golf ball. Looks like today wouldn't be all sprinkles and icecream as he had hoped.
"Ow! Are you serious right now!? Gosh dangit Sub-par man! Our nephews play together at the rec center. How could you do this!?", he shouted while tending the lump on his forehead. "As for you!", he exclaimed to Scooperman with a wild look in his eyes, "You will pay dearly for your blatant disrespect of all things dairy!". Just as he said this, his entire body began to vibrate and tail started to flourish in beautiful and mesmerizing circles. All that he was and will be came to the forefront of the battle as he took initiative and delivered a devastating blow to Scooperman's arsenal of sweet treats. With a whip of his tail and a roaring "moo!" he accurately spoiled the icecream projectiles in mid-air! Such tact.
Zjaum wrote:Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw
"Look, it's just a book," Henry said, not bother to read the title. "What are the odds that, like, it's his absolute favorite read of all time, a book that he would go to war over and sacrifice his family and friends just to look at one more time, a novel that, if I left this house with it in my possession, I would face torture unimaginable before a painful yet merciful death. Come on, that'd be as silly as making it the color- oh, hey, it IS purple."
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Zjaum » Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:00 am
by Xah » Tue Sep 04, 2018 1:06 am
by The Last Abode of Pando » Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:25 am
by Zjaum » Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:37 pm
by Whalestron » Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:05 pm
by Talchyon » Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:22 pm
Zjaum wrote:Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw
After remembering that he had the novel, it dawned on him. Certainly a steward as loyal as the man standing before him would have made a move to take the book if The Color Purple was so precious to his master. A phone call to the police or an advancement toward Henry's position would have sufficed. That, or perhaps the butler weighed his chances, attempting to hide the fact that he's incredibly weak, slow, and frail? A single blow might shatter him to a thousand pieces! Or maybe... he wasn't all that loyal? Perhaps he can be bribed into bending to the will of the... the villains group. Screw it, we're calling it the Orient Villains Group now. A sleeper agent on the inside surely has a few advantages.
Clearly removing the book didn't do anything. Clearly removing the marble bust didn't do anything. But maybe...
Henry meandered over to a poker rack near a suspicious-looking fireplace. He didn't have any money, or at least practically nothing compared to the butler's annual salary, but there were other methods to persuade a geezer to switch sides. He gently put his hand on the lever-looking structure, implying that he would hold one up to the butler. Apparently he wasn't implying all that hard, because the only thing he was able to do was push the rack next to the fireplace slightly to the diagonal. Hinshaw seemed to hear some sort of "click" noise, as if he activated something, but it could easily have just been him.
Ten dimensions of chess and counting.
The Last Abode of Pando wrote:Florida Man
David Adams
His disguise had worked perfectly; no one had seen him standing in the middle of the library, holding a small marble bust of Wayne Bruce's head behind his back. Who knew that standing so incredibly still that no one could see you could actually work?
Zjaum wrote:Aubree "Goldilocks" Lincoln
"Oh, hello!" Aubree exclaimed to the individual with no name, the arm of Sha-Booperman in hand. "I coulda sworn that you were in the alleyway, the last time I saw you! What are you doing at this hospital, in front of which we met the Mootown Maniac, and also in front of which we learned that the supervillains which we fight were actually clones, created by a as-of-yet unnamed (thanks to Hooperman) shady figure! What a coinkydink!"
Sha-Booperman attempted to release himself from her reach, but his insistence on following his own beat allowed Goldilocks to just barely catch him again. She walked over to Hooperman, Sha-Booperman's finger in tow. She approached the pile of hoops that had been produced, yanked her captured villain towards her, and began rubbing his elbow against the ringlets in a sort of sawing motion. In a short while, Hooperman's spawn would be cut off, and then something would happen. Any day now...
Whalestron wrote:Sarah Osborne
After what seemed to be an eternity of holding her arm back violently (the thing would probably explode without the focus she kept) and hoisting the poor ice cream villain up in the air, Sarah aimed a punch directly for his nose. Her fist made contact with the guy's nose and she immediately released him, recoiling backwards as if in shock from her actions.
“Oh my god,” she began hurriedly. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to-“ she bent down to examine the villain. “Hey, can someone call an ambulance? I think I broke his nose!”
Xah wrote:The Man With No NameAlan
Fight scene location
"I have no idea what's going on..." Alan muttered. He'd been struck with a golf ball (which hurt!), gotten spoiled ice cream on his nice outfit, tripped over a hoop and really, really detested the dance moves. He couldn't get his head into the game, even with the stirring, morale boosting music the band were playing. That the weird dancing man was entirely out of step with it just irritated him even more. It was almost like that feeling you got after coming back to work after some time off... but that was silly. Not so long ago he was visiting an old woman in hospital, now this. He let out a long breath, fate insisted he be a hero, so a hero he must be.
He eyed his gun suspiciously, like one might examine an unexploded bomb with a hidden timer. He then shifted his gaze to the four unusual suspects and raised his weapon. "Excuse me," he squeaked, before clearing his throat. "Excuse me," he said, in a far more manly tone. "Could you please stop fighting?" What's the words? Oh yeah. "Er, hands up? We're the hero group the Minnesota Infinites, and you're the baddies. Narrative insists that we win, so you might as well give up now." He tried to ignore the disapproving stares from the mariachi band at his less-than-heroic words.
The Last Abode of Pando wrote:The Minnesota Twins
Ed and Aesculapius
Between the time portals and the standing still, the twins were beginning to run out of excuses for why they didn't seem to do anything, ever. Their Conveniently Placed Excuse this time is that, after leaving the hospital, both Johnson brothers proceeded to place specially made two-person noise-cancelling earbuds in their ears. Seated on the side of the Infinite-mobile directly opposite where all the fighting was taking place, Artis the Spoonman's greatest hits flowing into their ears, Ed and Aesculapius had not realized that any fighting was occurring. Once the album had finished, Ed glanced out the window and saw four blue-and-red costumed men fighting the Infinites.
"Hey, Aesculapius, we need to go help them fight those men," he said, pointing at the Infinites.
The Twins took out the earbuds, opened the door quietly, and without conferring, crept toward the nearest of the doppelgängers, maneuvering to be out of this specific man's line of sight. Once they got behind him, Ed held up his hand, gesturing "5, 4, 3, 2, 1," and the two brothers wrapped all four of their arms around Hooperman. Unfortunately, five seconds after they wrapped Hooperman up, Aesculapius unknowingly swapped Hooperman and Captain Calculator.
Hey, his power can't always work for the benefit of the heroes, now can it?
Whalestron wrote:???
What appeared to be a fire hydrant dressed in a trenchcoat and ushanka bearing the sickle and hammer symbol of the soviets gave a chuckle at Sarah's words.
“I am afraid your leetle fight is now over.” The insidious voice sounded. The phony-hydrant raised their head just enough that one could spot the stitched grin of Nikolai the Communist Teddy Bear! As if someone had said his name with shock and surprise, the bear laughed again and responded.
“Yes, eet eez me! Ive been standing there for several hours waiting for this exact fight to break out. Prepare to die, democratic dogs!” He shouted, pulling out two oversized Russian weapons. The bear took aim with the two digits he called hands and somehow managed to fire. The blast sent him flying backwards into a car, the Infinites' car to be exact, and caused the alarm to go off.
On a completely unrelated note, the bullets completely missed their targets, likely finding their mark in some unfortunate scoop of ice cream that was melting at a pitiful pace.
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Zjaum » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:00 am
by Xah » Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:31 am
by The Last Abode of Pando » Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:40 am
by Zjaum » Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:49 pm
by Talchyon » Sat Sep 22, 2018 1:11 pm
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Barapam » Sun Sep 23, 2018 5:41 am
by Zjaum » Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:48 pm
Barapam wrote:"Who would that be? I haven't been updated on U.S. politics since Nixon..."
Talchyon wrote:"Excuse me, sir. All of this that you have been saying (and yes, I heard all of it - you didn't realize you were speaking out loud), I have to object to. That would all be illegal."
by Xah » Wed Sep 26, 2018 12:49 am
by Barapam » Sat Sep 29, 2018 12:12 pm
by Talchyon » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:39 am
Barapam wrote:Irina Borisova, a.k.a. Space Bear, blinked as if she suddenly had woke up, and in a way that was exactly what had happened. Even though she had been present all along, it was almost as if she'd been in trance, listening to hardbass in her earphones and doing slav squats whenever it was possible. Strange, she had never behaved like that in space, and certainly not in her youth in the Soviet Union, and she had no idea of why. Maybe it was her new superhero costume that caused it? She had on purpose gone for something more comfortable than spandex, and settled with a black peaky blinders leather cap and a black Adidas tracksuit, which she had bought second hand in Russia before she rejoined the crew in Orient. But then she shook her head at the idea. How could a suit influence her behaviour? It was probably just the stress from adapting to, and coping with, the fact that the 60s had ended, the Cold War was over, the USSR didn't exist anymore, and the technology was totally different. Yeah, that must be it. However, that would have to wait, right now she really had to make up for lost time and get in on the situation. So she spoke her mind.
"Well, I'd prefer if we protected all three candidates, obviously, but if that can't be done, I personally think we should go with the one who is best for the common proletarian. Who would that be? I haven't been updated on U.S. politics since Nixon..."
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Barapam » Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:24 pm
by Helowi » Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:33 pm
by Zjaum » Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:54 am
Helowi wrote:Jell-O
“You guys need a surprise in case the Infinites come. Why don’t I stand in the audience and disguise as a normal citizen. When the Infinites come. I begin shooting Jell-O out of my eyes at them as a surprise!” He then eagerly waited for the other villains to respond to his plan, whether it was good or bad.
by Talchyon » Thu Oct 25, 2018 5:42 pm
Helowi wrote:Jell-O
Jack had already moved to Minnesota, and already had he found a group of villains that were fighting the Infinites. He was excited, and always ready to be taken seriously. A huge fight had just happened between the villains and the Infinites, and now the villains were gathering up in a local diner. “This is exciting.” Jack had thought to himself.
When the waitress came up, he just ordered a small cup of coffee and a muffin, as he had already eaten before he got there. Doc Bur-Ock had made a plan up, the plan was to sabotage the mayoral debate by putting lobsters onto the stage, and say they need more bureocracy in their lives. Everyone began to give a sinister laugh, including Jack. “Amazing.” He said to the gang
Jack had gotten his muffin and took a bite out of it, and then raised his hand from the corner of the table. “I’m, I don’t mean to interrupt. But what is my role in this whole operation.” He then took a sip out of his coffee. He then thought of a genius plan. “You guys need a surprise in case the Infinites come. Why don’t I stand in the audience and disguise as a normal citizen. When the Infinites come. I begin shooting Jell-O out of my eyes at them as a surprise!” He then eagerly waited for the other villains to respond to his plan, whether it was good or bad.
Zjaum wrote:Henry "Blimp Man" Hinshaw
Blimp Man delved into his complete breakfast ensemble. Usually, he never spoke during dinner. It was time spent talking that could have been better spent eating. That said, Doc Bur-ock did, in fact, steal his plan. Not to mention he scrambled a few parts and omitted others. "A speech on bureaucracy? Is that your ultimate goal? No, Doctor, you have to think larger than that. We're trying to get him to spill the combination for his super secret safe, and then make a speech about bureaucracy! Isn't that right, uh..."
...
"Oh, hey... new kid... let me tell you somethin'. The good guys... they're not as much of a problem as people say. And most people don't realize that they exist, let alone consider them a problem. Our aim is Mr. Zillions, not the town of Orient... at least, for now. But, yeah, sure. You can be our honorary superhero watch!" He pulled out a sticker from his backpack and slapped it on the chap (who was, mind you, twice his age). He then resumed the nitpicking. "You also had forgotten that we would parade his favorite things in front of him by dangling them like a mobile in front of- shoot, we forgot to obtain that circular object..."
Louisianan wrote:Talchyon has great comedic writing, that is true.
by Ebwaino » Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:36 pm
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