What was the point of "males make the first move" anyway?

[The New California Republic]

...what? That made no sense...

Everything I say makes no sense for you, we think different

N...no..., it is more to do with some of the sentences being incomprehensible, and seemingly irrelevant stuff being thrown in without any relation to the surrounding context...

[The Empire of Pretantia]

Tip of the spear.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I had a long dissertation about social mores and cultural upbringing, then I realized it could be boiled down to:

‘It would be real nice if people just talked to each other.’

Ya’d think asking a person in a bar a couple questions to start things off wouldn’t be a gender specific thing, but if it’s a struggle maybe think about a different approach? Aren’t dating websites getting a bit more traction nowadays?

To use such a depraved cesspool of a medium as the Internet for dating purposes is bizarre. We're synonymous with debate, because how depraved one is has no bearing on whether or not one's right, but "dating?" That's more dicey. If we're resorting to the Internet, then something went wrong in the real world.

While child support law may make it impractical, one thing I respect about high school dating is that dozens of teenagers are among the same group of people several hours a day and still manage to pick one who just stands out to them.

No, it's really not.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

You can date without fucking, just saying

Teen pregnancy rates suggest otherwise.

Teen pregnancy rates has nothing to do with fucking while dating.

Sometimes you fuck while dating, sometimes you don't. I certainly haven't fucked with most of my relationships. Rather, my fucking while in a relationship is relegated to a minority of cases.

[Mardla]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

[Scomagia]

1.That said, as long as when the girl says no, you have to respect it. 2.Other than that, most people find confidence is sexy, you want a woman you have to put it out there that you deserve her, 3. yes you will get rejected, but so what.

1. Totally agree. I have no idea why some people find it such a hard rule to follow.
2. There are many types of confidence. Specify.
3. You can only get rejected so many times before it stops being worth it.

1. It's a very small portion that "don't get it", despite the current sensationalized climate. By and large they're the same people that don't "get" other, rather simple, social rules.
3. Evolutionarily, it never stops being worth it. If you're constantly rejected, you are the problem, probably. Either you are being rejected for fixable reasons (being a horrific bore) or for other reasons which may or may not be mutable (low physical attractiveness). No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

1.If you go into a relationship worried about a rape charge, I question why you want to be in a relationship in the first place.

2. Your not looking to get her blackout drunk and fuck her, you are looking to provide a good time to her, and make her want a good time with you again.

If you are really evil, get her black out drunk, take her to her home, put her in bed, don’t do anything and go home, call her the next day to make sure she is ok.

1. Honestly, considering how common it is (And has been throughout the generations) for people to constantly talk or joke about how awful relationships are, I honestly don't understand why we continue with them, tbh...
2. US law doesn't care. Even if a woman is slightly buzzed and has sex with a guy (Who can be just as drunk as they are, or even more-so) it's still considered rape on the guy's part by law. Also, this law only applies to women, drunk men can have sex with sober women and it's considered no problem. Also also, it doesn't account for LGBT people, so yeah...

Yes, it is a stupid law, but it exists nontheless and doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon, so best to be careful.

Uh, no such law exists in Texas where being even slightly buzzed with a guy means a guy raped a woman by law.

Maybe in another state that's the case, but at least in Texas nobody is scared of actually sleeping with a woman who is slightly buzzed.

As for relationships, they happen, we want companionship, and falling in love is a thing. We just joke about them because it's fun to joke about bad relationships. Humor is a good form of therapy tbh, it's just funny to other people and it becomes a meme.

[The New California Republic]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

I dunno about that, I've encountered some pretty bold moves in my time...

[Soldati Senza Confini]

3. Evolutionarily, it never stops being worth it. If you're constantly rejected, you are the problem, probably. Either you are being rejected for fixable reasons (being a horrific bore) or for other reasons which may or may not be mutable (low physical attractiveness). No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

Thank you for saying that.

[The New California Republic]

1. Totally agree. I have no idea why some people find it such a hard rule to follow.
2. There are many types of confidence. Specify.
3. You can only get rejected so many times before it stops being worth it.

1. It's a very small portion that "don't get it", despite the current sensationalized climate. By and large they're the same people that don't "get" other, rather simple, social rules.
3. Evolutionarily, it never stops being worth it. If you're constantly rejected, you are the problem, probably. Either you are being rejected for fixable reasons (being a horrific bore) or for other reasons which may or may not be mutable (low physical attractiveness). No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

...what happened to number 2?

[Ethel mermania]

Teen pregnancy rates suggest otherwise.

Teen pregnancy rates has nothing to do with fucking while dating.

Sometimes you fuck while dating, sometimes you don't. I certainly haven't fucked with most of my relationships. Rather, my fucking while in a relationship is relegated to a minority of cases.

Sorry to hear that


<<<<< runs away.

[Mardla]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

I dunno about that, I've encountered some pretty bold moves in my time...

That is generally indicative of a promiscuous woman

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Teen pregnancy rates has nothing to do with fucking while dating.

Sometimes you fuck while dating, sometimes you don't. I certainly haven't fucked with most of my relationships. Rather, my fucking while in a relationship is relegated to a minority of cases.

Sorry to hear that


<<<<< runs away.

[Scomagia]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

Right. Part if that is temperamental difference (sorry Social Constructionists) and part is the different costs of reproduction between males and females. Obviously, having sex carries a vastly higher potential cost to women than to men, so it only makes sense that women would play a slightly different game.

[Scomagia]

3. Evolutionarily, it never stops being worth it. If you're constantly rejected, you are the problem, probably. Either you are being rejected for fixable reasons (being a horrific bore) or for other reasons which may or may not be mutable (low physical attractiveness). No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

Thank you for saying that.

You're welcome.

[Scomagia]

1. It's a very small portion that "don't get it", despite the current sensationalized climate. By and large they're the same people that don't "get" other, rather simple, social rules.
3. Evolutionarily, it never stops being worth it. If you're constantly rejected, you are the problem, probably. Either you are being rejected for fixable reasons (being a horrific bore) or for other reasons which may or may not be mutable (low physical attractiveness). No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

...what happened to number 2?

Honestly, I wasn't sure what they were asking with number 2. Confidence is usually referred to in a way that is pretty synonymous with moderately high Extraversion and low Neuroticism.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Also, another big part of rejection is you chasing women you have, in their eyes, zero compatibility or reason to be dating someone like them.

If a ton of women you chase reject you, but there are women who like you but you are not attracted to them, maybe it's time to figure out whether or not you are really chasing the sort of women you would have the best possible chance at a great relationship with.

[Luminesa]

Try tequila, make a pineapple margarita served in a pineapple, give it to the girl. Share the drink. See how you do

Be careful if you actually want to do anything with said girl while she has alcohol in her system, cause if you're not then that can be a rape charge.

For real? I’m about as lightweight as it gets, teeny-tiny, and still a little glass of wine isn’t going to incapacitate me. Took a sip of my sister’s margarita for my 21st birthday. Did not go under the table. As long as he and she know their limits and respect those limits, a glass of alcohol isn’t going to turn one or the other into a rapey monster. And most couples who are just going for a date at restaurant aren’t going to be looking at each other like, “Dang, I’ma get them blackout drunk and do bad things to them.” Or maybe I’m assuming the better nature of people. Either way, you sound like you might need to re-examine your thoughts on relationships. If you’re scared of letting her have a sip of a Bloody Mary, because you’re thinking your own instincts are going to lead you to hurt her, that’s something you need to examine about yourself.

[Mardla]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

Right. Part if that is temperamental difference (sorry Social Constructionists) and part is the different costs of reproduction between males and females. Obviously, having sex carries a vastly higher potential cost to women than to men, so it only makes sense that women would play a slightly different game.

It's also that men are less likely to commit to sluts, and to just see them as someone to fuck. Hence women looking for a serious relationship with a guy are not going to come at him like a slut. A guy can be somewhat bolder without appearing slutty, but also guys will be smart enough to not go too hard if they want something serious, otherwise they will look like they're just being horny and only attract women interested in such.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

...what happened to number 2?

Honestly, I wasn't sure what they were asking with number 2. Confidence is usually referred to in a way that is pretty synonymous with moderately high Extraversion and low Neuroticism.

I dunno if that's the case often though.

As in, I am somewhat introverted and I have moderate neuroticism (not without justification, mind), and yet I have moderate success with women...

I am not the sort who has women in line to date me, but I do date often enough. Like right now for instance I am already in another relationship at this moment, and it didn't even take me more than a few months of patience.

I really don't know if we can say confidence is a key factor or not, considering women go for all kinds of men as long as the characteristics they look for in a guy are right.

[Saiwania]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

There is no point to it in my view, if the other person doesn't pick up on it. Certain people just don't do subtle. I won't ever recognize anything that is obscure in terms of signs. Direct and simple will usually vanquish all that which is complex, unless there are good reasons for adding additional steps or details to any action or process.

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

Is it?

When "niceguyism" and/or stereotypes about cheerleaders are met with the classic catchphrase "having difficulties getting laid, eh" the women saying that aren't saying "he could've gotten laid, but he didn't." They're saying "he couldn't have gotten laid if he tried." Doesn't this suggest that, to them, that's the most damaging thing one could say?

[LimaUniformNovemberAlpha]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

There is no point to it in my view, if the other person doesn't pick up on it. Certain people just don't do subtle. I won't ever recognize anything that is obscure in terms of signs. Direct and simple will usually vanquish all that which is complex, unless there are good reasons for adding additional steps or details to any action or process.

Not to mention the risk of a reputation for falsely interpreting things as flirting.

[Mardla]

Women can and often DO make the first move. It's just that it's subtler than guy moves.

There is no point to it in my view, if the other person doesn't pick up on it. Certain people just don't do subtle. I won't ever recognize anything that is obscure in terms of signs. Direct and simple will usually vanquish all that which is complex, unless there are good reasons for adding additional steps or details to any action or process.

Well if it filters out people who are socially incompetent, there is a point.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

No matter the reason the only failing choice is to pout and stop playing, rather than trying to improve those things about yourself that make you undesirable.

Is it?

When "niceguyism" and/or stereotypes about cheerleaders are met with the classic catchphrase "having difficulties getting laid, eh" the women saying that aren't saying "he could've gotten laid, but he didn't." They're saying "he couldn't have gotten laid if he tried." Doesn't this suggest that, to them, that's the most damaging thing one could say?

Not really. It's a jab at the guy, sure, but it's not the worst you can say.

To be fair though, Scomagia has a point, you are not really showing them, or anyone for that matter, how tough you are by just foregoing relationships and yet complaining about the lack of, or relationship issues in general. You're just showing you're really not confident enough to put yourself out there, and that breeds less and less people to like you.