World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

[Freeport Isles]

The following was found circulating Freeport social media after the Equestrian States' recent qualifying match...

[Qusmo]

I would think it would be clear, but to remove all possible doubt, this is entirely IC; I am making no claim of any scores being rigged, nor of there being any so-called “Old Boys Club,” in reality.

A Blog

FOOTBALL is CORRUPT

Just like Kita-Hinode’s supposed “moon landing” & “space colonization” & “top-secret Imperial Hinodejin Space Force military intelligence being leaked by a stupid astronaut who was fooling around & blew the whole mission,” Qusmo’s scores are being FAKED.

Don’t believe me? Well, that just means you’re an IDIOT, because the signs are EVERYWHERE.

That said, I didn’t realize it until just now, either.

You see, I got an urgent fax from a fellow blogger of mine to inform me of the score in Eastfield Lodge, because I was fast asleep during the match. It was an AWAY MATCH, ok? &, yes, I know it was in Rushmore, but I have a unique cicada rythym, so I go to sleep at half past noon & wake up around 135 to 190 minutes later. Unfortunately, that’s just when the match was played.

&, of course, I don’t even need to explain why I EXLUSIVELY use a fax machine to communicate without the outside world beyond my apocalypse bunker (except for Qusmo National Team home matches, because I wouldn’t miss those for the end of the world).

Oh, wait - I just revealed when I sleep. NO! I CAN’T LET THEM FIND ME! Oh, wait - as long as I don’t say that the bunker is on the northern outskirts of Yie, 7 3/4 kilometres away from downtown, & listed under my name in the phone book, I should be fine. Never mind.

Anyways, I immediately had my suspicions when I heard that Qusmo supposedly beat Eastfield Lodge by a score of - get this - 6-3. SIX TO THREE! I knew RIGHT THEN that something was horribly wrong, because there’s absolutely NO WAY Qusmo could have gotten such a BONKERS scoreline against Eastfield Lodge.

Just look at that scoreline: SIX TO THREE! Before the match, Qusmo had conceded three goals in their past TEN matches COMBINED. So you tell me: how is it even PHYSICALY POSSIBLE for that to happen? The answer: it ISN”t.

In REALITY, Qusmo’s scores - & EVERY score, in EVERY match, for EVERY team - is being RIGGED. How do I know? Well, here’s their mistake: their random number generator - or “scorinator,” if you will - is only producing even numbers of goals for Qusmo to score. They’ve scored zero, two, four, & six times, but never once, thrice, fifice, or sevice.

THIS IS A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX. Look at what Qusmo has conceded, too. Qusmo has conceded zero, one, two, three, & five goals in a single match MULTIPLE TIMES - but from ALL 54 MATCHES Qusmo has EVER PLAYED, they have NEVER conceded FOUR goals.

PLUS, the results from one matchday to the next ARE OBVIOUSLY SCRIPTED. Look at Qusmo’s Matchday 15 result; they just got lazy & multiplied their Matchday 14 result by 3. From a 6-3 win to a 2-1 win. & they multiplied that Matchday 14 result BY ZERO to get to Matchday 13. From 2-1 to 0-0. & then they just CHOPPED OFF A GOAL to get to Matchday 12: 2-0. & then they just added another goal ON THE OTHER SIDE to get to Matchday 11: 3-0. & then, in Matchday 10, they just decided to recycle what they had already used for Matchday 13: 0-0. & that’s JUST the second half of qualifiers so far! Look how LAZY the Illuminati has gotten!

&, honestly, it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that Qusmo’s results are being faked. After all, how does a team that finished ABOVE ONLY THREE TEAMS out of TEN in their World Cup 80 Qualifying group after going on a SIX MATCH WINLESS STREAK & taking only ONE point from the other unranked team in the group SUDDENLY find themselves IN THIRD & TWO POINTS AWAY from going to a PLAYOFF for World Cup 81 Qualifying after going on a SIX MATCH UNBEATEN STREAK & winning EVERY MATCH AT HOME against teams RANKED HIGHER THAN IT?

& let’s look at the results Qusmo has got. Qusmo somehow got SEVENTH in their qualifying group but beat TUMBRA, which was ranked TWENTY-FIFTH IN THE WORLD & QUALIFIED FOR THE WORLD CUP? & after that SEVENTH-PLACE group finish, Qusmo WON their Cup of Harmony group by DRAWING against QASDEN, which had WON the Cup of Harmony TITLES the past TWO times they had been IN the tournament - & they won that group TIED on points, TIED on head-to-head, & BEHIND on goal differential. & in that Cup of Harmony, Qusmo beat Omerica - FOR THE THIRD TIME. HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO BEAT OMERICA THREE TIMES? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SCOTT STERLING IS THEIR GOALKEEPERS COACH.

So it should be clear by now what’s going on. The shadowy figures that run the Multiverse are running the World Cup Committee, too, & the World Cup Committee is fixing the matches. Given that tens of thousands of fans typically watch any given match at the stadium, how is that possible? Easy: virtual reality.

So isn’t it OBVIOUS? It SHOULD BE. What is the WCC doing that they don’t want us to know about? They’ve already REVEALED that there’s some sort of secret World Chall of Fame. NOW their secret that ALL FOOTBALL MATCHES EVER ARE FIXED has been exposed. Simon Dee Panini may be the face of the vile, cosmopolitan elite who are RUINING the BEAUTIFUL GAME - but they aren’t the TRUE CULPRITS.

The TRUE CULPRITS are EVERYONE in the Old Boys Club. Now, don’t let the name deceive you: this is not a club of literal boys. After all, it does say that they are old. No, these are the nations that for COUNTLESS DECADES have DOMINATED the World Cup at the EXPENSE of the REST OF US. Look at STARBLAYDIA, which has FIVE World Cup titles. Look at… um… THOSE OTHER ONES. LIKE BRENECIA. YEAH, THEY’RE WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS. Back in WORLD CUP 12, I’m sure they WON IT ALL, just like they KEEP winning EVERY MATCH THEY EVER PLAY. & don’t forget BANIJA. For SOME REASON, they got to qualify for the World Cup without even going through the QUALIFYING CAMPAIGN. They’ve been getting kickbacks like that ever since they STARTED participating in football; we all remember how they qualified for the World Cup without losing a SINGLE MATCH on their first try, of course.

So I vow to you that I WILL NOT STAND HERE & TAKE IT. I WILL FIGHT BACK, FOR THE HONOUR & INTEGRITY OF THE WORLD CUP & OF THE SPORT OF FOOTBALL ITSELF, AS THE GAME THAT UNITES NATIONS ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE IN THE PURSUIT OF A SINGLE GOAL. Unless the Old Boys Club decides Qusmo should get to the World Cup, of course; that’d be a different story.

Group 9
Polkopia 3–0 Savalen
Nuadh-Alba 0–1 Rakivland
Valanora 4–1 Axuva
Eastfield Lodge 3–6 Qusmo
Karulicja 4–2 New Gazi

Group 9                            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Valanora                         15   12   1   2    45   20  +25    37
 2 Polkopia                         15   10   2   3    30   20  +10    32
 3 Qusmo                            15    9   3   3    27    9  +18    30
 4 New Gazi                         15    8   2   5    26   20   +6    26
 5 Eastfield Lodge                  15    7   4   4    31   21  +10    25
 6 Karulicja                        15    7   1   7    31   26   +5    22
 7 Savalen                          15    6   1   8    19   23   −4    19
 8 Rakivland                        15    3   4   8    26   31   −5    13
 9 Axuva                            15    2   1  12    16   48  −32     7
10 Nuadh-Alba                       15    0   3  12     9   42  −33     3

QNT miraculously defeats Eastfield Lodge 6-3 after 3-0 halftime deficit
Eastfield Lodge 3–6 Qusmo
Lodgertia, Eastfield Lodge

---

GK  Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
CB  Zenon-Gerol Kal
CB  Yelto-Alfan Ono
CM  Yamaj-Blonz Jok
46’ Ozolx-Mazur Guv (86’)
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev (50’)
AM  Gavax-Nenzi Abe
LM  Kynda-Sevet Pec
46’ Jralv-Nexev Pec
RM  Forzu-Ralox Kal
46’ Prant-Pertz Gor
SS  Paliv-Xilit Max (75’, 79’, 90'+7’)
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol (67’)

[Banija]

There are so few cutoffs left.... And so many songs to choose from. How do I pick?

We're heading out to Nigeria for today's cutoff, the largest of all of Africa's countries. When I'm there, they chop my money- but I don't care!

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Commonwealth 1-0 Taeshan: BP on the brink

by Alec Henderson
Soccer Correspondent for The Western Observer

Shirley--Following the 1-0 victory over Taeshan here at President's Park in front of 24,856, the National Team of Baker Park spent a long time on the pitch interacting with the supporters than you would normally expect even a club side to do.

The squad knew that this was the penultimate home match in this World Cup 81 Qualifying Tournament, and felt positive that they were "in the barn", as it were towards at least a second place finish in Group 17.

The victory, coupled with St Saratoga holding Darmen to a draw, meant that BP were once again atop the group table, level on points but with an advantage in goal differential, and left Taeshan as the last possible challenger to the only sides who have lead the way in the group. The Taeshani side are 9 points behind and would need a complete collapse by one or the other two over the final three matchdays to have any chance of finishing ahead of either.

Jamari Bozeman scored the only goal in the match, and he paid tribute to the veteran players who didn't survive the recent roster cuts by removing his jersey to show a t-shirt with the names of Ali Salih, Ian Coverstone, Naroun Patel and Kris Day underneath the message "Thanks Guys", and prior to the kickoff, dutifully walked up to the referee to accept his yellow card.

The old park came to life during the 2 minutes of stoppage time at the end of the match as the supporters in the West Stand broke into the last verse of "Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah" which was picked up by most of the rest of BP crowd still in the stadium:

When I tread the verge of Jordan,
Bid my anxious fears subside;
Death of death and hell’s Destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

At the final whistle, the sides exchanged well-deserved respect to one another, the Purple Knights pushing Baker Park all the way in both meetings.

[Barunia]

Visit Barunia
Sponsored by the Barunian Government Department of Tourism

Ch 11. Edwardton, Lenina, Kirova
The island state of Marion lies to the west of Tildos. The island is dominated by the volcano at its centre, but there is far more to the state than this natural wonder. The state capital Edwardton lies on the east coast, surrounding Edwards Bay. Edwardton is one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the country, with a vast array of different cultures present. A huge influx of immigrants from Eastern Europe to Marion in the early 20th-century saw the state inundated with new cultural ideas, found nowhere else in Barunia. The influence of these immigrants can be seen in the northern Marion cities of Lenina and Kirova.

Getting Around
To get to Edwardton, you’ll need to take the ferry. A high-speed ferry connects Edwardton to Whitefeather in Tildos every half an hour, while longer routes leave less frequently from Newland, Northport-San Baptiste, and Delmars. Edwardton has its own underground rail network of four radial lines, and an intersecting route that conforms to the shape of the bay. The northern line goes above ground as it leaves the capital, before heading back underground to form part of Lenina’s underground network. Lenina and its twin city Kirova are linked by a single main underground line, with circular branch lines servicing the outer areas. As usual, you should be able to find network maps online or at underground stations. Edwardton also has a tram service that runs in the inner city, and as such runs past points of interest for tourists.

Things to See – Edwardton
Old Pier Beach, on the north side of the bay, is a favourite place for family outings in Edwardton. There are barbecues, playgrounds, a large grassed area, and of course, there is swimming in the bay. You can even go on a donkey ride along the foreshore. Old Pier Beach is in the suburb of Northshore, one of the city’s best destinations for food. Head down the strip and choose from various Asian and European cuisines, or try a pub meal.

The south side of the harbour is home to the docks, and also to the State Maritime Museum. This museum is dedicated to ships and the like, and contains exhibits from 300-plus years of Barunian sailing history. The shipwreck room alone is worth the price of admission, a very reasonable Ŧ9.95. If you fancy continuing with the underwater vibe, there is also SeaLife, an aquarium. Entry costs Ŧ54.50 for adults and Ŧ49.50 for children. SeaLife offers two walk-through aquariums, containg sharks, dolphins, rays, and other sea-creatures, a petting pool, and plenty of other animal encounters. Of course, if you prefer to see your ocean wildlife in the wild, there are always whale-watching tours leaving from the docks, as well as a few good scuba sites off the coast of Marion. If more terrestrial animals are your thing, Edwardton also has its own zoo.

At the heart of Edwardton is Prince Street, one of the oldest streets in the city. Part of the street is closed to traffic, and is dotted with statues. Street performers and buskers regularly line this portion of the road, creating a lively atmosphere. If you like shopping, then there is plenty to do in Prince Street. One of the best places is the Hampton Building. Built in 1856, this heritage-listed building is home to a vast array of shops, including fine jewellers and fashion outlets.

Things to See – Lenina and Kirova
Cormorant Point is a must-see place in Lenina. Situated on the shore near the port, this large forested park is filled with things to see, including a monument to sailors, triumphal arch, and playgrounds and picnic areas. Nearby is Fun Park, a permanent fairground.

In Kirova, Cathedral Square is well worth a look. Located in the heart of the city, the Kirova Cathedral was completed in 1928 and is considered one of the city’s emblems. The cathedral is also surrounded by gardens which are open to the public, as is the cathedral on most days. Visitors should note that the cathedral is still active as a place of worship, and is used especially for this function on Sundays. If you are around the cathedral on a Sunday, or on some special occasions, you may hear the bells ring from the tower, just as they have been doing since the cathedral first opened 90 years ago. While you’re here, grab something to eat and drink from the White House Café across the road, which is famous across the country.

There are plenty of other things to do in the twin cities. Places such as the Kirova Academic Theatre, the National Ballet Company School Museum and Theatre, and the Museum of Literature in Lenina.

[Drawkland]

#ClutchUp

It had been a long qualifying cycle, but certainly a rewarding one. With only two matches to go, Drawkland's Kick Corps had secured their best qualifying cycle yet - 13 wins, a draw, and 2 losses with two likely wins to come. Every single Drawkian qualifying cycle ended with 11 wins and various draws/losses thrown in, but this was the breakaway. Finally, the Kick Corps were the big dogs in their group. With their status in the Top 20 miles ahead of even the Pot 2 team Barunia, it was not too unrealistic to expect the Corps to go undefeated.

But sometimes you have to remember you're only the 20th-best in the world.

---

"What is our problem, Ellzidan?" Michael Starre asked, with no small hint of regret in his voice. He'd been requesting the Elf's presence to discuss strategy for a couple days running. Her busy schedule dealing with god-knows-what had finally opened up in the middle of the week, with the final home tilt of the cycle coming that weekend. Michael and Ellzidan were strolling around the roots of Elstrund, in the naturally-generated stadium where Ellzidan's domestic team played their matches. The Elf's silence was not unexpected to the manager, but that didn't make it any less awkward.

"It certainly isn't offensive production. Really not even our defense has been very bad of late," he offered a moment later, "We have no problem running up the score on the easy teams. We have no problem with stopping as much as we need on defense. For the easy teams. But I don't understand how this team can look like 40s-era Valanora one moment and then look like a horde of bored Sulsu the next."

Still, Ellzidan remained silent. Presently the pair were pacing near one of the goals at the south end of the stadium. Michael was still offput by her silence. He knew she wasn't one for abject strategy or planning things weeks in advance. All of her long life had been centered around being spontaneous and following the desires of her heart in the moment. He'd asked Iarocav at a sports gala one time for tips on how to coach the elder athlete. It is indeed intimidating, being technically in charge of this person who's been around before his grandparents' grandparents' grandparents, and had played the sport he'd studied his entire life since it was invented. How can you possibly tell someone like that what to do?

Iarocav had told him, You can't. I can't even tell her what to do. Ultimately there's a million cliches I could spout about her free spirit, but nothing I can say can really convey the true nature of how she operates. All you can do is give her all the information you know and she'll keep it tucked away until she needs it. She knows what to do and when to do it, barring a few errors in judgement. Yes, even she has those. She's only human, after all. Heh. Irony in the statement aside, Michael had seen that firsthand a cycle ago at the IAC 4 final.

In any case, he figured she would at least offer him some advice on the subject if he asked to meet with her specifically on it. But this was just uncomfortable. Was he just wasting his time?

"Could it be a confidence thing, still? I know that last cycle I spent nearly all my time trying to create a change in team culture to build confidence. IAC 4 was a shitty time, but I thought we got past that. We drew Schottia at the top of their game when all they were doing were melting teams down for scrap all cycle. And yet we couldn't beat Electrum. We were the best team in the IAC by a long shot, and were nearly unstoppable, until we met against Mercedini. We've had our literal best season, with the best goal output in our history, and yet Barunia bests us twice. The team we beat our first cycle twice! Not to mention their weaker squad, I just ... I just ... don't get it!"

His words had begun to run together, his thoughts moving faster and faster, and his voice getting louder and louder, echoing in the quiet and empty arena. Far off in the distance one could hear the busy movement of creatures or the sounds of the wind moving through the trees nearby, but in the stadium, all Michael could hear is himself. Ellzidan stopped walking and looked over at the man with a curious expression.

She suddenly spoke up, "Nobody can predict the way fate will fall. Any team can win any game. I've seen it a thousand times a thousand ways. The tiny regional college conquering the national behemoth in football. The plucky neighborhood ruffians beating their older brothers in a game of basketball in the street. The small loyal band of fighters against an army of countless faceless evils. Nobody can plan for that. Not you, not me, not anyone. The ball will slip through a gap, a player will have a miscue at an inopportune time. A kick goes off the mark. You've seen it happen too. Even I am guilty."

Michael squirmed internally. It was the answer he expected but didn't want to hear. "How am I supposed to plan for that? My job ... the reason I'm around here ... is to make the plan for our team to succeed. If I can't do that, why should I even bother? What's the point of me slaving over hours of film, making advanced gameplans, agonizing over statistics and metrics and everything ever invented by a math major somewhere if it'll all be chalked up to luck? Why don't I just let you and the greatest players of our nation roll out and shit around on a pitch for 90 minutes and I can take a well-needed vacation? Even when we win there's the biting feeling in the back of my mind because I know that we can't do what we really need to do. WHY?!"

Again his voice echoed through the vacant chasm that the wooded stadium created. Ellzidan leaned against the wall where the pitch ended and the stands began. She looked at him with pity in her eyes.

"Because we aren't the best."

"Wha-? How do you mean? These players are some of the best our nation has ever seen in its history. How could you possibly say-"

"They aren't the best. We," the Elf impatiently gestured widely in the air, "aren't the best."

"Well obviously not, we're a younger nation on the scene, less experience and pedigree. I mean we don't have the likes of the greats of Vilita or Nephara on our squad, but when you get this high in the rankings nearly everyone has a similar squad anyway. I mean really, we're only a couple steps from being the best, surely?"

"No."

"Then how can we be better?"

"I know you've tried so hard to bring a concept of confidence and pride to this team. I know you spent the last cycle and a half trying to bring all the girls on this team to a level where they can appreciate themselves. It's very admirable. And for some of those girls, much needed in their lives. I've spent a lot of time bringing people up to the level where they can be confident enough in themselves to be the best that they can be."

"Aren't we the best we can be? Is there any room for improvement? And how? I can't see how we can possibly improve ... we have the people, the parts, the placements, everything we could possibly need. We've spent the greater part of a decade realizing our potential. Is that not the best?"

"That's not enough."

Michael Starre was then at a loss for words. His thoughts were swimming. He almost felt like crying. His entire purpose was to make teams the best they could be and lead them to the ultimate prize. How could one feel when being told their end goal is impossible?

"I ... do you really not think we have the chance for something more from here?" Michael said after a moment of contemplation.

"Sure we do. Santa Regada also has the chance to draw the 20th-ranked team in the world and hold them to a single goal. A team in their first cycle has the chance to make it to the World Cup. And do it again and again, against all odds. A team that hasn't done anything in years can suddenly shoot up to the final in what would normally be impossible. A team trying their hardest to stay out of obscurity can come in and defeat their bogey team and come back to qualify for the first time in ages. Anybody has that chance."

"I don't want to lay down my career on a chance," Michael said after a long moment of silence.

"Then maybe you chose the wrong career," Ellzidan replied simply, before hopping over the wall and climbing up the stairs of the stands and inside the stadium roots until she was out of sight.

Michael sat on the grass and looked up at the sky. Most of it was obscured by the massive sprawling branches and leaves of Elstrund, but he could still see some of the blue and the white light of the sun shining through. Perhaps she's right, he thought to himself, maybe I am just destined for failure. What a life ...

---

"You've heard the news, right?" Corrie Archer announced loudly as she entered the penthouse apartment. The apartment belonged to Katie Madison, as one might expect, and Katie was present across the room, lounging on her sofa with the holoTV replaying the very highlight Corrie was about to reference. On a loveseat to Katie's left sat Lorraine Collins, and in a lounger on her right sat Cam Cross.

"Of course we have. We're looking at it right now," Katie said with a tiny hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Well well, the gang's all here," Cam said with a smirky smile, referring to the fact that the other three were the national team members who played on the Drawk Corps squad in the domestic season, "Want me to leave before you start passing out all your Corps kool-aid or human blood or whatever you cultists drink?" This remark was made specifically to piss Katie off, and judging by the eye roll she got, it worked to perfection.

"Hush Cam, this could be it right here," Corrie said with glee, "The killshot! Just wait until next matchday. I can already feel Barunia choking out their final home match against the unranked Egyptosian. How awful! How could they possibly fall so far so fast!"

"When you're done doing your audition tape for cheesy-ass narrator, would you care to take a seat and shut up so I can hear the highlights from the other groups?" Lorraine replied with no small amount of distaste in her voice.

"You've got to admit, this is such a perfect chance for a collapse. Once again we will vanquish Barunia and claim our rightful place atop the group to qualify the fifth straight time!" Corrie said as she sat on the couch with Katie.

"Jesus, if you don't stop talking like that you're gonna get crushed by a falling piano or some shit," Katie gave a light punch to Corrie in the arm and leaned forward, "Now you hush, they're listing the top offenses so far."

"They already did," Cam replied, "We're fourth in the entire field right now. We've got 52 goals so far, but Mattijana and Vilita have 54, and Mercedini has 59-"

"If I hear anything more about Mercedini tonight I will be burning Lexington to the ground," Katie warned Cam, "and the fact that Mattijana has scored more than us is disgusting. I could take any one of their strikers in a 1-on-1 penalty shootout any day. They're barely on track to make the playoffs."

"Yeah, and if we're not careful, we'll be losing to them in our playoff tie," Cam shot back, clearly a little annoyed and Katie's cockiness.

"Oh come on," Lorraine butted in, "We're now on track to auto-qualify as a second seed. All we have to do is outscore Eshan, and everyone knows how they're a bunch of scrubs."

"Sure. I seem to remember a similar conversation about being on track to win everything in the IAC playoffs. But I guess you guys don't care to remember the times when you aren't being handed wins like free samples at a Corps Store," Cam huffed, before standing up and heading to the door, "It's late, I'm going to head back to my hotel. Take care."

As soon as she'd closed the door, Katie groaned aloud, "And not soon enough. She's so annoying. All her damn awards and accolades don't mean a damn thing here, I hope she knows that. If it weren't for all the other morons on the squad like her blowing these games we'd be ranked way higher and probably a Top-5 squad."

"Yes, sadly, we can't all be you," Lorraine said in an attempt to be accommodating, but internally she was rolling her eyes.

"Precisely. If Michael just let me decide on a scheme that fits me better, like what we have going at the Corps, we'd be soooo much better off. Me with a good supporting cast is and always will be infinitely better than shoving a bunch of ballhogging 'stars' around me to take time away from me making things work."

"Wow, I see how it is," Corrie said half-jokingly. She, of course, was one of those 'stars', but did have experience playing a supporting role to Katie on the Drawk Corps team domestically.

"Of course I don't mean you, you at least know when to give the ball to me when I have the best chance. Cam has no fucking clue how to handle other strikers on a team," Katie insisted, totally oblivious to the massive irony, "Those stupid Terranean schemes with only two strikers or whatever? Give me a break. She's lost her touch on Drawkian ball. And don't even get me started on that Turati bitch. She's literally never seen a professional Drawkian pitch. I don't even know why Michael bothers with the 'foreign-grown' talent. That's not the type of ball we play!"

"I mean, they grew up in Drawkian universities and schools so it's not like they're totally clueless ..." Corrie offered awkwardly.

"Get over it. Sure they're 'cool people' or whatever, but that's not what matters. I could absolutely bring a championship to this team if it was built right, but instead the prime of my career is getting fucking wasted. Such a damn shame."

"Whatever you say Katie," Lorraine said after a moment, "There's still plenty of cups left."

"Not if we're out here letting Barunia get poetic justice. And don't even get me started on Independents Cups."

---

"Oh, and let me add that #ClutchUp some of those kids have been using now," Iarocav thought out loud as he finished typing a status update.

"If I had a lolad for every time you said 'what those kids have been using lately' I could secede and make my own damn country," Lerocav chuckled as he gave his father a light playful nudge with his foot.

"Yes, and I'm sure your kids would say the same thing, and eventually we'd just have a never-ending recursion of smaller and less cool Drawklands being generated," Iarocav shot back with a wink.

"Single mother of two boys as always," Meliauden jokingly sighed and then chuckled at the exchange. The Drawkian Family, as it was sometimes called, was getting settled into their luxury box in Drawk City Stadium. It was still about 5 hours until the ceremonies for the final home game of Drawkland's fifth qualifying cycle would begin, but Iarocav and Co enjoyed getting situated early for sporting events.

"So ... Kedroiqua. What's your over-under, dad?" Lerocav asked, looking at the vast expanse of the stadium seats and pitch.

"What did we beat them by earlier? 2-0?" Iarocav replied, still fiddling on his phone.

"3-0, actually. A decent win for an away game," Meliauden responded, "I personally think we could pull off another 5-0 shutout."

"I'm hoping we can go crazy with like a 6-1. Although the elusive 7-1 has still yet to surface for us. Today could be the day," Iarocav said with a little humor in his voice.

"Well, I'll just take the Price Is Right route and guess 0-0 so I can get the points when you two wildly overpredicted. Hahaha! A fatal error."

"Just because of that, we're gonna score 12 on them," Iarocav, smiled, shrugged, and turned to look out at the empty pitch. There were a few chuckles before there was a few beats of silence.

"Think we can make the World Cup playoffs this year?" Lerocav asked to break the silence.

"It's all the luck of the draw, my son," Iarocav replied with exaggerative sageness in his voice, "Seriously though, we always have a shot. They haven't convinced me that they can really pull it off yet though. We'll probably see an IAC victory before we'll see a deep playoff run here."

"See dad, now you've cursed us to eternally lose the IAC final 3-1 and never make the World Cup playoffs. Thanks."

"Are you saying you don't have the time to wait for the streak to be broken someday?"

"Unfortunately, I do."

[Starblaydia]

Qualification Beckons
Starblaydia aim for 4th World Cup in a row

They fought, and have been fighting, hard to stay in the competition, but Starblaydia proved just to strong for a Petroslovania side desperate to stay in contention for a Playoff place, ultimately winning 3-2.

After keeping a clean sheet - only their third of the campaign - for the first time since Matchday Two against Audioslavia, Starblaydia's defence again gave up two goals to lower-ranked opposition, prompting another round of questioning of Azewyn Feanaro as to exactly how and why her team are seemingly underperforming at the back.

"It's still a young team in a lot of ways," Feanaro said in the post-match interview, "but you can see from the results, and the unbeaten run we've put together since that one defeat, that this team not only has the desire to win, they also have the ability to score the goals to get it no matter the situation or opponent. We might not always get the luck we think we may deserve, but in terms of points on the board, I'm extremely happy with our performances so far."

For a side ranked in the top 16 of the world, expected to make the knockouts of the World Cup proper, being this defensively leaky is a worrisome trait for many. How enviously these critics look at Audioslavia's defensive record of just six conceded in the past sixteen matches with a similar goal difference to Starblaydia. One thing the Bulls don't have, however, is the cushion of four points at the top that Starblaydia have with just two games to go. Starblaydia, also, have scored exactly a third of the goals Audioslavia conceded in this campaign, inflicting the Bulls only defeat and making up a one of their five draws so far. Sometimes the simple stats of the Group 5 table need to be delved in a little deeper before any envy of other teams in the group should develop.

Starblaydia look ahead to the Adab game, the penultimate clash in these Qualifiers, where they can once again put an end to their opponent's dreams of Qualification. The Adabians sit three points behind Audioslavia and the combination of any Starblaydi victory and the Bulls failing to lose will see Adab eliminated. Football purists in the Starblaydi community will say 'and quite right, too', as this is an Adab side that the rest of the world describes as 'plucky', but in their single match so far the Adabians proved to be exponents of the dark arts with their fouling, diving, complaining and general off-the-ball antics from both players and the acting coaching staff in charge at the time.

In a doubtlessly full Stadii Di Bradini, there to cheer their heroes as the team plays their final home match of the qualifiers, can Adab's players and staff take the heat? Both sides need to win. A Stablaydi win would see them qualify with a match to go, while an upset Adabian victory sees them stay in touch with Audioslavia in second place, outside chance of qualifying via the playoffs. With this at stake, it's going to be difficult to keep a lid on either ambition or tempers, as both teasm will be doubtlessly giving it their all for the chance to go to the multiverse's greatest sports event.

Final score from Championship Arena:
Petroslovania 2 - 3 Starblaydia
(Campo 32', Sung 44') - (Cole 18', Rayyen 51', Sato 68')

[Nephara]

Nephara 4 - 0 Ancharmunn
(4-3-3) 20 - Mercator; 18 - Kielseng, 5 - Konoval (c), 22 - Thorn, 19 - Close (3 - Lohengrin 59'); 8 - Klein (15 - Rosenthal 74'), 23 - Misidjan, 14 - Moxham; 13 - Saroszi, 10 - Cathar, 16 - Staunton
Goals: Moxham 12', Klein 45', Cathar 51', Staunton 77'

THE HERALD
MIX OF EXPERIENCE AND YOUTH TO BE BLOODED IN CUP OF CHAMPIONS, BUT PRIORITY ON REST
Erik Waldemar

According to his most recent press conference, Michael Brandon's priority ahead of the World Cup is to rest his most utilised players, while using a number of veteran players to help integrate new Cormorants into the culture.

"We know we play a very physically demanding style, and our domestic league is a very demanding competition," Brandon said, "so the best chance of victory in both tournaments is to rest those of us that have had the largest roles in qualification. There's others like Ryan [Theuer] and Dani [jel Brymora], I haven't forgotten about them, they're good, reliable players. And they can maybe show the younger bloods like Tawny [Shone] and Roxi [Roxelana Thorn] the ropes."

The squad of 23 is missing key names in Swoboda, Rafford, Steelhenge, Konoval, Lohengrin, Rowland, Klein, Strongbow, Fanaiyan, Hawke and captain Konrad Gosforth that would all expect to be in the World Cup squad, assuming the Cormorants take the required two points from the final two matches, or the Cup of Harmony side in the event of failure there. This 23, captained in the interim by AFC Treason holding midfielder Servet Misidjan, will be tasked with taking the points from Greater Libertania and Skorji Oslograd's EOT, with Nephara standout favourites for both matches.

Althea Taliadoros, Ilyana Brosch, Roxelana Thorn, Mordecai Brandtner, Ramona Porter and Sabine Montag all won their first caps over the course of qualifying, and 21-year old leftback Vermillion Rage leftback Sander Katarec is uncapped. The Cup of Champions, once called the Confederations Cup, is a sporadically-contested tournament between the regional and WCC champions, and the WC hosts. Nephara has contested three of these in the past, including the first, and its most notable performance was being on the receiving end of a 9-3 annihilation by Osarius. Brandon will hope that this new blood can help them put old ghosts to rest, and lift the trophy for the first time.

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 9 and CUP OF CHAMPIONS
Goalkeepers: 1 - Apostolos Tsattalios (Falourr, EUR), 12 - Althea Taliadoros (Raven River), 20 - Hesterine Mercator (Tihon, CMT)
Defenders: 2 - Danijel Brymora (Brinemouth), 3 - Lux Vicelich (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Ilyana Brosch (AFC Corvistone), 6 - Ryan Theuer (Falourr, EUR), 18 - Eloise Kielseng (1860 Azoth, CEN), 19 - Sander Katarec (Vermillion Rage), 22 - Roxelana Thorn (Lammerton, SCT)
Midfielders: 4 - Laura Carrow (Marionville, SCT), 7 - Roxana Coffey (OAS Royal FC, COS), 8 - Mordecai Brandtner (Creed United), 11 - Ramona Porter (Vermillion Rage), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Chimera Moxham (Port Patrick United, SCT), 15 - Tawny Shone (Sabrefell Moths), 16 - Marisha Staunton (Crisisbless), 21 - Sabine Montag (North Sabrefell), 23 - Servet Misidjan (AFC Treason, c)
Forwards: 9 - Aristide Metzger (AFC Treason), 10 - Nevaeh Cathar (Avenida Leal, FFD), 17 - Erika Wolff (North Sabrefell)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 1 - 0 Eshan @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Bongo Johnson 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 West Angola @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Nephara 3 - 2 Busoga Islands @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Cheergirls 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Cosneolta @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Ancharmunn 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 5 - 0 Greater Libertania @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
EOT 0 - 3 Nephara
Eshan 1 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Bongo Johnson @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
West Angola 1 - 2 Nephara
Busoga Islands 1 - 2 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 0 Cheergirls @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Cosneolta 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 0 Ancharmunn @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Greater Libertania vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. EOT @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media
International Edition - Sport



Slipping Away


Blanco Borrayo reports;

Most campaigns have a defining match and this fixture was very much it. Three points separated second place Sargossa and Group 14’s top side Kita-Hinode as The Hinodejin Empire arrived in the Sargossan capital. The first match between the sides had been a breath-taking display of attacking élan as both sides rained down effort after effort onto their respective defences. The attacks had been on fire that night, the defences had been on lunch. Ten goals were shared, as were the points on a crazy night in Tentai City. This fixture was to that as black is to white.

In selecting Luís Vazquez in place of the suspended Sergio Espina, Rodrigo Defederico was surrendering creative for endeavour. Rafael Bustamanté or Antonio Amaro would have added much more craft and guile into the middle but the coach, perhaps mindful of those five goals conceded in Tentai, had a less expansive game in mind for this particular fixture. Consequently, the first half was a cagey affair in which chances came at a premium. Ironically it was Vazquez who missed the best of them, arriving late in the box to meet a cross from Zevallos but only managing to head the effort well over the bar. Vecino hit an effort from distance harmlessly wide and Matías Cáceres found some rare space in the box, before firing straight at Yoshihama. For the visitors Suijin Minami looked lively and forced a smart stop from Ríos as the half drew to a close.

Ten minutes into the second half the match got the spark it needed, albeit not one the homes fans wanted to see. Minami was the difference. The Mashu Hellowenia forward drifted in between defenders to slot Hyong Hye-Young’s ball beyond the reach of Ríos. Defederico reacted immediately, replacing Vazquez and Zevallos with Bustamanté and Diego Puebla. The Corsairs finally rattled up to a higher gear, taking more risks and pinging the ball about with greater speed and purpose. It was Puebla who played a huge part in the equaliser, bending in a wicked cross which caused chaos in the Poltergeist’s box and was bundled unceremoniously in by big Iván Mayoral. As the half drew on the heckles were up and the Corsairs began to enjoy the lion’s share of the possession but without doing much with it. The most frustrating aspect of all was the relative ease with which The Hinodejin Empire held out until the end. The final whistle blew to a collective groan around the Estadio Generalissimo Joaquín Delgado as the fans acknowledged that their team’s chance of an automatic spot at the World Cup had probably just slipped away.

If there was a slim consolation to be had it was that the teams behind the top two failed to take advantage of the dropped points. The Main Nation Ministry and The Alpine Union fought each other to a 1 - 1 standstill in Victory Square, while Siovanija and Teusland’s poor end to the campaign continued with a surprise reversal at home to Soute. That boast for Soute is ill-timed as Sargossa’s next fixture is a trip to the Stadion Byczyna and anymore slip-ups probably will prove to be the death of this campaign as Kita-Hinode will be hosting Raffiah, whose record is one of the very worst across all the qualification groups. So chances of an upset there may be a little too much to ask. Then the Sargossan roadshow hits the city of Goza for the visit of The Alpine Union. Kita-Hinode too end their campaign in Rushmore, as they travel to Thibaea.

Group 14                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Kita-Hinode                      16   11   4   1    42   25  +17    37
 2 Sargossa                         16   10   4   2    46   20  +26    34
 3 Main Nation Ministry             16    9   4   3    41   24  +17    31
 4 Siovanija and Teusland           16    9   2   5    41   27  +14    29
 5 Alpine Union                     16    8   4   4    31   24   +7    28
 6 Soute                            16    6   3   7    22   22    0    21
 7 Sangti                           16    5   4   7    18   33  −15    19
 8 Thibaea                          16    4   3   9    33   40   −7    15
 9 Altai Almas                      16    3   1  12    19   41  −22    10
10 Raffiah                          16    0   1  15    10   47  −37     1

[Brenecia]

Brenecia 3 - 0 Tinhampton
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Woodgate; 2 - Broxham, 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Szubanski (c), 3 - Quill; 4 - Staunton (23 - Alweather 76'); 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case, 13 - Wheeler (14 - Ruskin 67'), 16 - Keynes; 9 - Riordan
Goals: Case 12', Keynes 34', Crowther 71'

There was silence in the tunnel. It seemed like there was silence up above, too, in a capacity crowd at Kingsgarden. Here were the Patriots, the nation's finest - but just what sort of nation would they find waiting for them, after so much had happened in their absence?
Jim Reid, no stranger to the quirks of nationhood, had been understanding - at least, he'd tried to. But he'd tried to keep the focus on football, and been right to. Whole minutes had passed in the dressing room without anyone worrying about their country's existential crisis.
Even with the football, doubts were creeping in. A qualifying campaign thought sewn up after the double over Cassadaigua had been thrown into doubt by a shock defeat to South Libertopia and a less stunning but still inconvenient draw to Cobrio, and that combined with the dogged resilience of their rivals meant their lead would evaporate with defeat. And the world's scepticism was, just maybe, starting to get to them. Were Woodgate and Szubanski past it? Were Heneghan, Case, Keynes and Riordan good enough? Were Wheeler and Crowther scorers of great goals more than great scorers of goals?
And, look, the answer was 'probably'. It sure as hell would be if they let themselves dwell on it. The only way was forward, and out of the tunnel, into the lights-
And navy blue crowds that erupted at the sight of them.

Perhaps it was inevitable that Falcon Case made the breakthrough. After all, Case was, essentially, Nepharim. Born in Crisisbless, come through with Goodfeather, but a Brenecian mother - who else would look at their squirming baby son and think, "yes, this looks like a Falcon" - had given him an international chance that didn't seem to be waiting for him elsewhere. So even despite that early release, it was Case doing his best to drive the Patriots forward - he'd hammered a low, hard shot that Julia Atherton had done well to claw away, and shortly after played Riordan through, one-on-one, but her shot was narrowly wide in the end.
Still, the crowd's fever was up, and so was Case. Tinhampton may have managed to overachieve massively to date, their respectable ranking and impressive showing belying their inexperienced and occasionally amateur squad, but they had no answer when Brae Crowther burst down the right, cut inside to skin Small and hit a beautiful arcing cross, and Case, with the power of professional athleticism and sheer momentum, crashed through Vatunska and Salt to head the ball low and hard into the net.

Crowther would continue to be the main provider for the Patriots, on a day where Corby Wheeler flickered and sputtered, at one point hitting a volleyed shot so lamentably wide it went out for a throw-in. And Tinhampton had chances of their own, causing real panic when Graham found North's diagonal ball, touched it narrowly ahead of Broxham and had his heels clipped - should that have been a penalty? It was narrowly out of the box, and that almost didn't matter, North swinging a shot high and hard that Woodgate had to act fast to tip onto the crossbar, and Szubanski to clear. The stadium sighed with relief in response, and then noticed Gethin Quill surging down the left, getting to the clearance first, chesting it down, racing past Morris, and hammering a ball across the face of goal... but Riordan couldn't make it there in time.
Not to worry, though. Brae Crowther sprinted, kept the ball in play, then knocked it past the hapless Small, saw Keynes run into the box and slipped in a perfectly-weighted pass, the Snowden winger didn't have to adjust his pace as he unleashed his strike on the run, thundering it past a flat-footed Atherton.

With that, it was all over bar the shouting. Tinhampton had recently refocused their efforts on total defence, so going two goals down with a half left to play against the world champions at home wasn't exactly a favourable position. They gave it a fair shot, and indeed came close again when substitute Priscilla Evans nearly played her way back into consideration by skinning Heneghan and striking low - but Woodgate threw out a leg to block it at his near post, and the corner came to nothing. Not long after, Brae Crowther got her chance to trouble the scoresheet herself, Ruskin finding her with a long pass, Small and Salt unable to close her down before she chested the ball down, found her range and hammered the ball hard across Atherton, able to get fingers but not force to the strike.
And then it really was over. A three-point gap became six, the Patriots needed just one point against weak opposition and could turn their attention to the Cup of Champions.
The players marched out, linked hands, paid tribute to the active supporters. They cheered; they were cheered in turn. A couple players did autographs, others handed their shirts to children, and the people united in their love for this disparate band of journeymen who had done so much for this grey, windswept little country.
In the coming days, Brenecia needed that solidarity more than ever. And it needed that image. A reminder that people were people, no matter on which side they stood.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 9 & CONFEDS CUP
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rosalind Buchanan (Lunas FC, PAS), 12 - Rostyn Calhoun (Wexax United, VAL), 20 - Aidan Hartigan (Metropolis Alligators, VLD)
Defenders: 2 - Erica Weaver (North Hall), 3 - Brigid Levein (Marque), 5 - Russ Linvoy (Kirk Preston United, SCT), 6 - Ava Ramsay (Pikemouth), 18 - Chadwick Beath (Blue Coast 1981, PCR), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Westpike United), 22 - Garwyn Varney (Soldarian FC, VAL)
Midfielders: 4 - Roisin Staunton (Kingsgrove), 7 - Lauren Cheney (Kingsgrove), 8 - Meghan Hartsdown (Kings Park, SCT), 11 - Isidra Corvey (Kingsgrove), 13 - Elysse Matheson (Rozelle), 14 - Claire Ruskin (Southern Star), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Rene Skae, FFD), 16 - Cathal Keynes (Snowden River), 21 - Shea Considine (Northern Union), 23 - Pagan Redweald (Northern Stallions)
Forwards: 9 - Banshee Strider (Lotus Park), 10 - Vesuvia Carrick (South Laithland, NPH), 17 - Niall Bremner (Westpike United)

SCHEDULE
Cassadaigua 0 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Al-Mumtaz
Oscioru 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 South Libertopia
Colonial Australia 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 5 - 0 Cobrio
Tinhampton 0 - 1 Brenecia
Czarna Gora 0 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Octinstine
Brenecia 6 - 2 Cassadaigua
Al-Mumtaz 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2 - 0 Oscioru
South Libertopia 2 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 1 Colonial Australia
Cobrio 1 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 3 - 0 Tinhampton
Brenecia vs. Czarna Gora
Octinstine vs. Brenecia

[Indusse]

Group 6
Ceskaar 1–3 Santa Rafa
Tarper 0–1 Super-Llamaland
Kelssek 4–1 Indusse
Farfadillis 4–0 Aggrey-Fynn Land
Semarland 3–0 Tobria

Group 6 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Farfadillis 16 13 1 2 42 13 +29 40
2 Super-Llamaland 16 11 2 3 45 21 +24 35
3 Indusse 16 11 2 3 35 22 +13 35
4 Semarland 16 8 3 5 34 19 +15 27
5 Santa Rafa 16 8 1 7 24 21 +3 25
6 Kelssek 16 7 3 6 31 31 0 24
7 Aggrey-Fynn Land 16 7 2 7 29 27 +2 23
8 Tobria 16 3 1 12 21 43 −22 10
9 Tarper 16 2 2 12 8 33 −25 8
10 Ceskaar 16 1 1 14 6 45 −39 4

How can we loose like this we did our best and came till the 2nd place and we lost to an disqualified team? Why O God?,did we do something wrong? We tried our best and defeated the group topper and did we come so far to get humiliated? Say O lord mighty one who will win next time? Congratulations to Kelssek for defeating me.it may be a great day for you but not for me.....

KELSSEK 4-1

INDUSSE

#FORCA INDUSSE
#FORCA FOOTBALL

[Jeruselem]

Dazza Dallas Stadium, Princess Chloe after Jeruselem had 2-2 draw with Sultanate of Oontaz. With Jon, the husband of her sister Princess Cassie ...

Jon: Looking a bit frustrated there
Chloe: Yes, we were winning and let in that last goal which just fucked up the day
Jon: Well you didn't lose
Chloe: We should have this one, and we could have scored more goals too
Jon: What was the go with the off-sides today
Chloe: Poor Kat had three legit goals, two were ruled offside. Fuckwit referee ...

Jon: Where does that leave us
Chloe: Well, we are back in 3rd place for some reason. But we're on 30 points, 4 behind Abanhfleft and 11 behind Mriin. Dreamplanet and DarkMania are behind us on 29. So we're far from safe.
Jon: So we could be 2nd at best but not likely. At worst 5th
Chloe: That's it
Jon: But we're not out of it at all
Chloe: We could be like on 32 points instead of 30 which is greater buffer

Jon: Any surprises today?
Chloe: Not really, Mriin and Abanhfleft struggled to narrow wins. Dreamplanet beat DarkMania, which was good I guess. Crystalline Caverns won but it doesn't matter with them. If DarkMania had one, we'd be back in 4th.
Jon: I guess it could be worse
Chloe: Well we play 2nd and last placed team next. We kinda need to win both
Jon: What's our chances of being 2nd?
Chloe: Well, slim. We have hope 2nd spot lose two games. NOT LIKELY

Jon: DarkMania and DreamPlanet?
Chloe: They both need two wins and hope we and Abanhfleft don't get points. It's more likely Abanhfleft win one of the last two games.
Jon: So we're stuck like 3rd or 4th in reality
Chloe: Yes, as per bloody usual every qualification
Jon: Oh well, I guess we had a good shot
Chloe: We could have done so much better. Those draws and the two losses not against Mriin. Where's young Kat?

Jon: With your mother. Who's explaining the offside rule to her. She doesn't think it makes sense.
Chloe: Good luck with that one
Jon: I'm just glad we have a girl, your son is a bit hyperactive
Chloe: On the plus side, that means he's going to be a pretty hyperactive football player. Terrorising the opponents.
Jon: I don't think young Kat will be playing football myself
Chloe: Not as a striker or midfielder, but she might make a goalkeeper. She's very observant and watches everything.

Jon: What about a defender?
Chloe: We need good defenders! Maybe, stamina might be an issue. She doesn't run around a lot.
Jon: I think she's like her Mum
Chloe: Lazy
Jon: Not OCD like some people we know
Chloe: Eh, I'm not OCD. Just bit mad.

Jon: Kat is more coordinated than her mother though so there's hope on the football front
Chloe: Yes, my sister Cassie was never the most coordinated one. A bit clumsy too
Jon: How's the knee
Chloe: Fucked, like it was when it broke a long time ago
Jon: It must of healed in funny way
Chloe: Yes, no fencing for me. I can't lean it too much. Too painful. That's why I sit a lot ...

Jon: So you got a Plan B
Chloe: Well, winning the Cup of Harmony is something we could do. That's if we qualify there. We fail at that too.
Jon: You have to try
Chloe: We can't afford not to try either, because there's so much money and tourism associated with the world cup games.
Jon: It's kind of built into economy now, every 4 years. We want money from the football tourists.
Chloe: I suspect it's more than just the football. We know what it is.

Jon: Oh yes, the infamous women of our country.
Chloe: Well, really mostly just my family.
Jon: I'm not complaining
Chloe: You better not be
Jon: Don't worry, I'm not taking my position for granted.
Chloe: Good

Group 11
Abanhfleft 3–2 Mareibat
Crystalline Caverns 2–0 Neo-Romanum
Dreamplanet 4–3 Darkmania
Lycrabon 0–1 Mriin
Jeruselem 2–2 Sultanate of Oontaz

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Gavin Branch puts a late dagger through Savojarna's heart

Sjoedrhavn, VH - With qualification for the second playoffs in a row on the line, Savojarna's national stadium was packed for the match against Nova Anglicana. This game had been long anticipated to be the decisive game of the campaign, and an unbeaten Savojarna went into it just two points ahead of the group's number 3 seed thanks to a sluggish start to the campaign with a lot of draws. Both teams showed up in their expected best possible formation despite Nova Anglicana having played a tough game against South Toronto just before, while the Northlights had rested some key players as they beat unranked Torisakia 0-1 away. Victory, or at the very least a draw, was generally seen as crucial given the likelihood of Nova Anglicana picking up six points in their last two games against teams ranked outside the Top 200.

For a long time, things seemed good for Savojarna despite an early goal by an aggressive Nova Anglicana team, as shortly after the header converted by Guidry, the Savojars could equalise thanks to a beautiful dribbling of Voynov past Ellis and Bowers before scoring with a shot that curled just around the fingertips of the goalie and hit the net next to the far post. Following the first twenty minutes, in which both sides played aggressively and we saw a lot of action, the game focused more on the midfield, where the Savojars managed to take control thanks to their higher amount of central midfielders, but struggled occasionally on the wings. Few chances resulted from this duel, but the Northlights were closer to the second goal when Hytönen missed a long shot by about a metre over the bar and again when Karjanen in the centre missed a flat cross by Mikhail Jashkin only by a few centimetres, thus failing to push it into the empty net.

After the break, Savojarna continued to control the midfield, but did so in an increasingly defensive way as the increasingly solidifying 1-1 would have been sufficient to retain the playoff spot and having a World Cup spot in their own hands for the last two games. Due to a light injury of Krister Voynov in the first half, he was replaced after half-time by Jesper Groen, a more defensive but still solid player. Finally, a bit over an hour in and with Nova Anglicana slowly finding a way through the web of the Savojar midfield, Viljansson took a controversial decision in taking Hytönen off the field and not replacing him by Poulsen and searching for a decision, but by Libor Milovic, a defensive midfielder who played next to Andersson while Hoyberg took over the playmaker position in a 4-4-1-1. This seemed like a sensible, albeit a little passive, decision at a time when Nova Anglicana were increasing pressure through counters, Viljansson would say after the game.

Indeed the measure seemed to help Savojarna regaining control of the match, played in difficult conditions at 7° and increasing rain throughout the second half. With Milovic and Andersson shutting down the defensive midfield for the Northlights, their game became much simpler and frustrated the opponent's attacks through the centre, forcing Nova Anglicana to attack more over the wing, rendering them predictable and opening the midfield to Savojar counters. However, the punch to break through the middle lacked, with Karjanen being caught up in a solid defence and the surprising factor of Krister Voynov gone. Cummings and Russell shut down Jashkin and forced the game to shift to the middle or over to Groen, who struggled with the opposition, and the game largely stagnated again.

The break to the stagnation came late as Jashkin managed to get some air for once, but got stopped by Cummings yet again. A single mistake in the middle, where Milovic and Andersson miscommunicated on the pass by the left back and allowed it to get through to Santos, decided the match. Santos now stood in the empty space between an overly aggressive defensive midfield and a central defence occupied with Branch and Morin. The playmaker was challenged by Nurkanen pulling to the middle and the returning Milovic, but got the ball through to Gavin Branch, who could shield it against Metanov. Facing a charging Jarnström trying to shorten the angle, Branch reacted quickly despite a difficult position and pushed it through the legs of the goalkeeper into the Savojar goal to silence the Bjurman stadium as the attempt of Omark to slide-tackle the ball off the line failed.

As a late attempt of Viljansson to turn around the match, replacing Andersson by Ryberg and thus shifting to a 4-4-2 that was essentially played with four forwards, failed to produce a goal, Savojarna had to take their first defeat of the campaign in the 16th match. Looking forward, the tough double-round with the away game in Chromatika and the home game against South Toronto will become a last chance for the Northlights to qualify for the World Cup. This would now require aid from Krenorus or Huffingshire as they play Nova Anglicana in the last two games, where Savojarna need to get at least one point more than Nova Anglicana to secure a playoff spot. There is some hope as Krenorus have surprised before with seven victories and the fifth place in the group, while the home game against Huffingshire was a tough affair that only ended with a 2-1 victory for Nova Anglicana. However, it is safe to say that a lot has to go right for Savojarna to qualify.

[Beepee]

Guadalajara 0–1 Beepee

Scorer: Patterson ('62)

Beepee edged Guadalajara one-nil in a nervy performance.

Maintaining the third clean sheet in a row, Beepee's defence harked back to the glory days of The Baptism of Fire 67.

Chris Patterson scored the winning goal from a direct free kick, blasting the ball past an unsighted Guadalajaran goalkeeper.

Beepee had a number of other chances on the match, however they could not turn their dominance in midfield into goals as a number of shots went wide.

The win moved Beepee clear in third spot in the table, above their anticipated finishing position of 5th. A difficult match against an in-form Central Shaneville side awaits.

---

In related news former head coach of the Beepeean side, Michael Forsberg, has applied to the work tribunal for unfair dismissal following his conviction for drink driving.

The Beepeean football association relieved Forsberg of his position following the guilty plea, and replaced him with Coleen Yu. However, lawyers for Forsberg are expected to argue that a drivers licence is not required for the role and that the dismissal was not appropriate.

The Beepeean Football Association was contacted for a statement but has not responded to the request.

[Cassadaigua]

(Coach Sweeney calls in Hannah Ranucci)

“Hannah, what is the mindset of the team? We all on the same page, here?” coach asked.

“Yes, we are. We know what is at stake here.” Ranucci replied.

“I do get that impression. It seems as though things have gotten better ever since Hannah Shanley was put in to the lineup. Carlos Martinez, as you know has threatened to leave the team, but seems to be content as a reserve at this point.” stated Sweeney.

“I think the team feels comfortable with our current situation. We have given up what, two goals in our last five games, three clean sheets for Kristen in that stretch. She’s fired up, and I think our defense has really strengthened since Shanley was restored to the lineup.” replied Ranucci.

“Kristen is fired up because of the Brenecia match,” Sweeney began, “It lit a flame in her, and I like seeing that. Some times, Hannah, a coach needs to make a tough decision like I did there because the end result in the long term is beneficial for the player, even if they do not realize it.”

“True, makes sense.” Ranucci replied.

“Here’s the thing, this Cobrio team cannot be overlooked,” Sweeney began, “The first half hour of our meeting will be clips of them winning the Baptism Of Fire, just as a reminder of what they can do. They have done something that only a select handful can say that they did.”

“Sure, we can do that. We know what’s at stake here.” Ranucci answered.

“A win here means we get through with a draw against Tinhampton. We know how they love to sit back on defense in that new coach’s system. I think it’s very important for us to keep the tiebreaker in the event of a draw.” Sweeney stated.

“No argument with that!” Ranucci replied.

Yesterday Was A Good Day,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Coming into yesterday’s games, there was the potential that it could be a great day for us. Tinhampton was playing a Brenecia team that did not want to go three games without a win, and we were playing the struggling Colonial Australia side. We trailed by three points against Tinhampton, but another set of numbers loomed interesting. +20 for the Miners. +19 for the Fillies. In the possible event that we ended up tied with Tinhampton after qualifying, overall goal differential would be the tiebreaker if we had a second draw against them. With the matchups in MD16, those numbers had a chance to change, and change they did. Tinhampton loses 3-0 to an awakened Brenecia side, while we defeat Colonial Australia, 5-0. New goal differential numbers, +24 for Cassadaigua, +17 for Tinhampton. This is why we also told you not to panic. Tinhampton’s schedule is soft at the start, and ours is much stronger. Ours finishes off a bit softer while theirs gets stronger. All that, before the head to head showdown between us.

The match against Colonial Australia was evenly played for the first ten minutes, but in minute twelve there was Hannah, no, not Hannah Ranucci, but Hannah Shanley getting the opening goal as she pinched forward and Zack Pierce went back to cover her spot. As coach Sweeney stated after the game, “When you get a goal from someone who not does always score, it is a huge lift, it carries the team.” One more goal for the Fillies before the intermission, this being by Rachel Brenner in the 33rd minute. Rachel has a few goals in this qualifying period but is another name we have not seen on the scoresheet a ton. The second half was all Cassadaigua, as the team saw what was going on with the Brenecia-Tinhampton match and knew against a weaker opponent here, they could help their cause tremendously. The Hannah we expect to score, Hannah Ranucci, pocketed the next two, coming in the 54th and 66th minute. Then, in the 76th minute, Chelsea Monroe, in for Shelby Martin, scored to finish things out. “A complete effort by this team in all aspects, I am very proud of them,” Sweeney said after the match. Kristen Speller faced four shots on target, and only one after the 50th minute.

Now, with this result, there are only two games left. Let’s look at this ending set of games!

In a sense, it doesn’t matter what happens against Cobrio and when Octinstine plays Tinhampton. The head to head match in Concord Heights is going to determine who advances to the playoff round. It is unlikely, though not impossible for either of the nations to draw one of those top 3 second place team spots that automatically qualify. Let’s look at possible scenarios of Matchday 17, and how they affect the crucial MD 18 game.

Cassadaigua and Tinhampton both have the same result in MD17, regardless of if both win, lose, or draw:
This is the simplest scenario to understand. If the teams remained tied after the next game, then it is a winner take all match for the spot between us and the Miners. Now, if the last game is a draw, things probably work in our favor as well. Currently, we have the edge in overall goal differential by the tune of +24 to +17. If the Dagans and the Miners have the same result in MD 17, it is unlikely that Tinhampton will make up that deficit, especially when you consider their extremely defensive style of play. Therefore, if we are tied into the final matchday, a draw likely gets us through.

Cassadaigua loses to Cobrio, Tinhampton defeats Octinstine:
In this situation, Tinhampton would have a three point lead going into the final game. However, since we drew with them in our first meeting, if we were to defeat them, we would have the tiebreaker of H2H on them, and therefore get the playoff spot. We must win in this situation though, no draws.

Cassadaigua defeats Cobrio, Tinhampton loses to Octinstine:
As good as this seems, and even though we would have the tiebreaker on overall H2H, the end result is the same as in the above scenario if we lost, and they won. If Tinhampton then defeated us, they are in on the H2H tiebreaker. A win, or a draw in this scenario gets us through.

If Cassadaigua draws Cobrio:
A draw with Cobrio would not be the end of the world, but if Tinhampton defeated Octinstine while we drew, then we must defeat Tinhampton in the final match. A draw would not see us through in the final game. If we drew against Cobrio and Tinhampton lost to Octinstine, then we must defeat or tie Tinhampton in the finale. Again, if both teams draw, refer to the first scenario.

If Tinhampton draws with Octinstine:
Must like the scenario if we tied with Cobrio, if Tinhampton gets a draw with Octinstine, it is not the end of the world for them. However, they must defeat us in the final game if we defeated Cobrio. If we won that game, a draw in the finale gets us through. If they drew with Octinstine and we lost to Cobrio, then we must win the finale, and no draws.

So, there you have it. These matchday 17 games for each team are tricky. Neither us or the Miners can be looking forward to the big game without thinking about the task at hand. For us, going to Cobrio, who won the Baptism Of Fire, you might forget, is tough. This team went on and the last time they played in front of their home fans they were getting a draw against Brenecia. Octinstine, though, is tough too. In matchday 2, they dealt us a costly defeat, and at 10-2-4, they are fourth on the table and not technically eliminated (the best Octinstine could do is get in a three way tie with us for second). This is a home match for Tinhampton, who defeated them 2-0 in Octinstine earlier in the campaign.

As you can see, Cassadaigua advances to the playoff with a win over Tinhampton regardless of what happens in MD17. Likewise, Tinhampton does the same if they beat us. What makes MD17 very meaningful is determining who would advance to the playoff if our nations ended up drawing in the last game. Therefore, plenty of reason for each nation to go all out. In a situation like this, you have to like the team that has experience, and has won clutch games in the past. It will be a fascinating conclusion to qualifying, for sure.

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Oberour Ar Moro Scores Convincing Victory
National Team responds with six goals against 116th ranked Kernovi and Rewgwlas

REGIUM - When Kernovi and Rewgwlas’ Adlai Copper headed in a corner kick from Cynan Trewin, you could almost feel the mood at the Parade Grounds darken.

Of course, here we go again, it seemed that crowd thought.

But then, Kerrian Odierne scored on a free kick in the 18th minute. Then Phelippon de Gentilli ended a dash through the Kernovi defense with a score in the 30th minute. And then he did it again in the 37th minute. And then Odierne notched his second goal of the match in first half penalty time. Nycollas Mauranghas added a goal off the bench, and Eneour Pique-Pain added a score, as Oberour Ar Moro ended their six-game winless skid in definitive fashion.

Not only was this their biggest victory since the 4-0 win over Vithuland, it had to serve as a huge confidence booster for a team facing wide-spread doubts over their ability, and a coaching staff being accused of something close to imbecility.

Manager Daric de l’Amie spoke passionately at the post-game press conference about his teams performance. “This is a great team of young, hungry players. When everyone on the squad is in sync, it can make even the strongest opponents look overmatched. That’s what you saw today.”

----

Oberour Ar Moro Looking For a Strong Finish in the Group Stage
The Dragoons end qualifying against Tobiasia and Vithuland with hopes to finish fourth in the group

While Oberour Ar Moro obviously cannot qualify for the World Cup this cycle, they are in striking distance of fourth place in their group. Considering where the team started, and the rough run of results in the second half of qualifying, that would be a huge accomplishment. This depends completely on Oberour successes and Anthor failings.

The Dragoons next two matches are against 11-1-4 Tobiasia in Kyiv, and then against 2-0-14 Kilaguni at the Parade Grounds. Tobiasia was in control from beginning to end of the first meeting in Regium, and while both teams are out of contention they will be a tough match-up. Kilaguni has played bravely, but the results have not been there, from the Baptism of Fire on.

First, Anthor travels to Mercedini. Mercedini are the highest scoring team in all of World Cup qualifying, and are competing for first place in the group and a no-questions qualification to the Cup. Next, Anthor hosts 4-5-7 Rannoria to end qualifying. Rannoria played Anthor close in the earlier meeting, falling 2-3.

The Dragoons were as high as third early in qualifying, and a strong run of results to finish fourth in group could create forward momentum for whatever is next for the national team.

From articles in The Collonade newspaper of Regium. All information acquired under the Regime Records Transparency Act - 1st Post-Tumults Parliament.

----

Daric took a swig from his bottle of water as he walked from the podium. He had decided sometime around the 50th minute of the game to use the word “overmatched” as much as possible. Daric knew he wasn’t the greatest manager in the world, or even in Oberour Ar Moro but he would be damned if some A-Division manager in a studio got away with insulting him.

[Ko-oren]

Playoffs!!

The Dragonflies, back to a 23-man roster, have fought off Kirishima a second time and thus secured a place among the final 40! With the win, Ko-oren stays on the trail of South Covello (0-1 win at Routcher) and remains a candidate for the three non-playoffs runners-up. The closer we get to game 18, the more it looks like that will decide the fate of Group 18 - South Covello is still two points ahead of us. In the rest of the group, Krytenia have risen to third with a 1-3 away victory at Alenburg, and Bostopia made the gap between them and the bottom 5 even larger by winning against the Star United States. The latter are on pace for a perfect campaign by failing to secure a single point.

In other groups, the last remaining team that could get a perfect campaign by winning everything was handed a defeat at the hands of Devonta, in a home match no less. Still rivaling the Star United States for a 0-0-18 campaign is Halfdansodal of Group 4, both teams are at 0-0-16 at the moment.

More stat gazing (you read that right) ahead of the final two matchdays: Group 18 contains two of the best defences out of the 190 nations: South Covello conceded three (1st), Ko-oren conceded six (tied for 2nd). Imagine having the second best defence in the World Cup qualification and still not leading your group - and still not having the best defence of your group to begin with. Predictably, high scoring offences aren't found in this group. For that, we look at Group 13, with Mercedini (59 scored, 1st) and Vilita (54, tied for 2nd). Vilita sits at first place of the group, and what goes for Ko-oren doubly goes for Mercedini: imagine having the most scoring attack of all nations and not leading your group. And while Mercedini and Ko-oren have a tough group in the sense that the nations in first are just so damn good, there's one solace: the two teams are currently in 1st and 2nd among runners-up, both decent candidates for a World Cup berth without a playoff.

Looking beyond the best and worst in every group, there's a sudden surge in the amount of famous foes of the Dragonflies. Remember Mapletish? They're back, and with seven wins in their first 14 games they're far more than just cannon fodder. Sangti is competing again, a nation we've mostly had basketball games against, but the day might just come that we play them in football as well. Torisakia and Lycrabon are in the World Cup too, with the latter mostly known for many, many World Baseball Classics.

Back to the Dragonflies: next up is an away match at Carloso, a hurdle, with the finish in sight, that should not trip us up - but we've been in this position before, and we've tripped over a hurdle like this before. Underestimation is not allowed - but thankfully that's not a mental trap Ko-orenites are likely to fall for. At the same time, we can only hope Kirishima comes to our aid at the same time against South Covello, either reducing our deficit or even - god forbid - giving us the group lead as we head into the very final round of World Cup 81's Qualification stage.

[Dreamplanet]

THE DREAM IS ALIVE

"APERTA COM ELES!", Record newspaper victoriously proclaims.

"APERTA COM ELES!", Record newspaper victoriously proclaimed as Dreamplanet beat Darkmania in stoppage time, re-launching the Dreamplanetian hopes of reaching the play-offs, things weren't easy at all, Dreamplanet had to come from 3-0 down to win 4-3 in an utter classic that virtually closed the door on Jeruselem on the path to getting it's 4th consecutive win for the second time in the qualifying campaign. There was an amazing ambience to the game, every fan, Darkmanian or Dreamplanetian, knew that this was potentially campaign-ending, nobody wanted to lose, nobody wanted the draw, everyone wanted the win. Vërnspern opened the scoring for the away team, with a brilliant free kick that went under the wall and past a stunned Filipe Vaz, which seemed to blame himself for getting fooled, and then Vërnspern struck again, this time running past the defence, slotting it into the bottom left corner, things got worse as Aaron Hungar brought down Vërnspern in the penalty area, with Rånde scoring the resulting penalty, Dreamplanet were 3-0 down, was this the end of the dream?

Well, this is Dreamplanet that we're talking about and if there was one man to make things turn back to Dreamplanet's favour, it would be Luis Silva, and he proved his worth as the captain of Dreamplanet as he volleyed in a cleared ball from Tërman, and then Benedito got his second goal for Dreamplanet after heading a corner in, completely unmarked after losing his nearby defender, and now Dreamplanet were in touching distance from the equaliser, and finally it came, in the 77th minute, Antonio Luis turned the home crowd into raptures as he went 1 on 1 with the goalkeeper and scored, Darkmania had seemed to do the impossible and Dreamplanet were back in the game.

Dreamplanetian fans were nervous, a draw for Darkmania wouldn't be bad from the looks of things, but a draw or loss for Dreamplanet would see Os Tricores' journey ended, but then with 2 minutes of added time on the clock, mere seconds remaining, Darkmania had an attack, Filipe Vaz saved the shot, punted it up field and it got to Luis Silva, he passed it into Aaron Hungar who hit a first time shot into the net, the moment had finally happened, Dreamplanet beat Darkmania and now they only need to win their next 2 games to get a top 3 finish.

Mriin is Dreamplanet's next opponent, the already qualified nation will be relieved to know that they cant get out of the top spot, so this hard working Dreamplanetian squad will be hoping to take the 3 points from Mriin, but it won't be easy, can Dreamplanet finally rise above Darkmania, Jeruselem and maybe even Abanhfleft? Dreamplanet are only 1 point away from Jeruselem, can we equal our best ever finish?

Dreamplanet 4 - 3 Darkmania
(Luis Silva 58', Miguel Benedito 65', Antonio Luis 77',Aaron Hungar 93' - Vërnspern 7', 32', Rånde 40')
Adina, Dreamplanet

Saturday September 1st - MD1: Dreamplanet 1-2 Jeruselem
Sunday September 2nd - MD2: Lycrabon 1-1 Dreamplanet
Monday September 3rd - MD3: Dreamplanet 1-2 Abanhfleft
Tuesday September 4th - MD4: Dreamplanet 2-1 Crystalline Caverns 
Wednesday September 5th - MD5: Mareibat 3-4 Dreamplanet
Thursday September 6th - MD6: Dreamplanet 6-2 Neo-Romanum
Friday September 7th - MD7: Darkmania 1-3 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 8th - MD8: Dreamplanet 1-4 Mriin
Sunday September 9th - MD9: Sultanate of Oontaz 2-2 Dreamplanet
Tuesday September 11th - MD10: Jeruselem 3-0 Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 12th - MD11: Dreamplanet 4-1 Lycrabon
Thursday September 13th - MD12: Abanhfleft 4-0 Dreamplanet
Friday September 14th - MD13: Crystalline Caverns 1-2 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 15th - MD14: Dreamplanet 3-1 Mariebat
Sunday September 16th - MD15: Neo-Romanum 2-3 Dreamplanet
Monday September 17th - MD16: Dreamplanet 4-3 Darkmania
Tuesday September 18th - MD17: Mriin vs Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 19th - MD18: Dreamplanet vs Sultanate of Oontaz

Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Mriin                            16   13   2   1    50   16  +34    41  (Q)
 2 Abanhfleft                       16   11   1   4    32   19  +13    34
 3 Jeruselem                        16    9   3   4    35   26   +9    30
 4 Dreamplanet                      16    9   2   5    37   33   +4    29
 5 Darkmania                        16    9   2   5    43   34   +9    29
 6 Sultanate of Oontaz              16    6   4   6    20   28   −8    22  (E)
 7 Crystalline Caverns              16    6   3   7    20   24   −4    21  (E)
 8 Mareibat                         16    4   0  12    22   34  −12    12  (E)
 9 Neo-Romanum                      16    1   4  11    17   37  −20     7  (E)
10 Lycrabon                         16    1   1  14    12   37  −25     4  (E)

Qualified for World Cup
Qualified for Playoffs
Eliminated

[The Sherpa Empire]

----֎-֎-֎----‭

‭Tsamji Rai was poring over international sports coverage looking for things SISN could use in their pre-game special before the Sherpa national football team's game in Acronius. After struggling through a Qusma blog post riddled with grammatical errors and unusual idioms -- she never did figure out what a "cicada rythym" was -- she came to a news report from Indusse. It wasn't terribly long, but her eyes glazed over before she even made it through the first sentence. She'd had enough run-on sentences and malapropisms for one day.

‭She looked back at the blog post. They could talk about that, she decided. The wild accusations of match-fixing were crazy enough to fill some airtime.

‭And maybe it would take people's minds off the speculation about why Sarang Lotsawa had been questioned by the Ministry of Defense...

----֎-֎-֎----‭

[Apox]

Goalkeeper
Centre Defender
Centre Defender
Right Defender
Left Defender
Defensive Midfielder

Apoxian All-Time XI - Right Midfielder

Olim Benzari
115 caps
5 sub caps
15 goals
20 assists
International Playing Career: BoF 48 (WC61) - CoH58 (WC66)

Deep breath, this is a big one. Olim Benzari.

Widely regarded as one of the greatest Apoxians to ever pull on the shirt, there is little doubting that Olim Benzari has contributed the most to the international Apoxian football since it emerged from darkness in time for World Cup 61. Benzari was selected as one of the upcoming young stars for the Baptism of Fire tournament, and played in the first international match against Romili in the warm-up tournament the team entered.

He was a good player to begin with: confident on the ball, fast, with a good touch and good vision. However, his tendencies to rampage forwards occasionally left the ramshackle Apoxian defense a little open at times, which was his main flaw. However, his attacking contributions always outweighed any minor defensive qualms, and he was included in every Apoxian squad until his retirement, and usually played as a starter at that.

His link ups with star striker and close club teammate Dravid Scott up front were legendary, and many of his 20 assists came from crossing the ball into the waiting Scott to smash home in the centre. However, not only was he an incredibly skilled footballer, he also garnered great respect on and off the field, from both teammates and opponents, and it always seemed likely that he would go on to have some leadership role.

This became true in the qualifiers for World Cup 64, after Dravid Scott's international retirement following on from a home victory in Campionato Esportiva 4, as Benzari captained the side to a berth in their first ever World Cup finals tournament, beating a strong Mytanar side to top their qualification group. This was arguably Apox's most successful time internationally, as they retained their Campionato in the next tournament, before qualifying for World Cup 65; Benzari playing almost every minute of these campaigns.

World Cup 66 was a struggle for the national side, with Dravid Scott fast tracked to manage the team giving Benzari somewhat more responsibility than under more seasoned managers. The shorter qualifying campaign was a poor one and the side didn't finish top, which was required to reach the finals. Benzari had just reached 100 caps, the first Apoxian to do so, and had been contemplating international retirement, the poor qualifying campaign sharpening his mind and leading him make the announcement that Cup of Harmony 58 would be his final one as a player.

It all seemed to be going to plan for him to have a perfect swansong, the team had finally beaten their Cup of Harmony Round of 16 curse, and faced Saugeais in the final - a game too far as they were beaten comprehensively 3-0, with Benzari receiving rapturous applause every time he touched the ball in the final.

Domestically, he was a one club man through and through, like a number of the players on this list. Growing up in Urbanista, he came up through the academy and was in the first team for the very first ANL season in 562 A.T. There he remained, with Urbanista a regular UICA qualifier but not really a title challenger. That is, until the 574 season when, with Benzari as captain aged 30, and the newly signed up and coming Tolgus Tregajorran on the books, to name just two players, they cantered towards the title and won it for the only time in ANL history. It was hailed as a turning point in club history, although sadly one which failed to truly materialise, as Tregajorran was sold one season later and the team slowly disbanded until Benzari's retirement in 579 A.T. All in all, he amassed 281 appearances for the club, scoring 84 times in that period.

He returned shortly afterwards though as manager, being thrust into the job only half a season after retiring as Urbanista struggled having sacked Fred Garcia with the team languishing in 14th place in the standings. He acquitted himself well, and turned the team back into a UICA and indeed occasionally title contender, returning Urbanista to its rightful place near the top of the perch. After seven seasons in the job though, he had his mind on bigger things and ended up replacing Gavin Hughes as manager of the national side, with Hughes returning to manage Urbanista in a straight swap.

His first campaign with the national team was the fairly mediocre showings in the Campionato Esportiva, before he was really let down by his team a little in the Apoxian/Quebec hosted World Cup 73, with the team crashing out to the always powerful Eura in the Round of 16. World Cup 74 was a brighter affair, and the team performed well in qualifying before yet again crashing out of the World Cup in the early stages. Benzari was a slightly thinner figure from his playing days and there were suggestions that the stress of it all may have been getting to him a little.

Nevertheless, his crowning achievement came in Campionato Esportiva 16 where, despite the noise surrounding the Apoxian involvement with the corruption scandal unfolding around him, he kept the team focussed well enough to see them beat out the old enemy of Brenecia in the final - Benzari becoming the first and so far only Apoxian to win international titles with Apox as both a player and a manager. However, he paid the ultimate sacrifice for his commitment to the side, the stress on him in the Campionato proving too much as he collapsed just after the trophy presentation for the Campionato and was pronounced dead shortly afterwards.

Of all the players in the Apoxian All-Time XI, Benzari had the largest impact on Apoxian football and his loss is keenly felt, still to this day. A true legend, and a worthy choice for captain of this all-time team.

Honourable Mentions
Imriel Townsend (52 caps, 7 goals, 20 assists, [WC78 - ])

[Karulicja]

The Wrap-Up, Part One

With two games left on the card, it’s time to take a good look at the opening campaign of the Karulicjans. Throughout the first sixteen legs, we’ve seen highs and lows – and even those weren’t too well-balanced throughout. As the tailend of the fixture list provides only a visit to Eastfield Lodge and hosting an almost qualified Valanora, it seems that the debut round will finalise with a more than decent 25 points. It must be mentioned that Azzini and his boys overcame a depressing series with five consecutive defeats – only interluded by a spectacular and hard-fought victory over Savalen. Ever since, they’ve shown far more maturity, allowing them to nick points off more experienced sides such as New Gazi and Polkopia, creating a decent home reputation along the route. Let’s take a look at the warriors who allowed all this to happen and their prospects for the future.

8/10 – Roberto Moscardelli – 15 games, 4 clean sheets

It’s difficult to decide which of the nicknames which came up along the route, ‘Bobby’ or ‘Spiderman’ he despises the most. To the contrary, it’s not hard to see why he’s been the cornerstone of this campaign so far. With an average of 3.9 saves per game, Moscardelli has been tested and withstood the pressure. More importantly, he managed to keep the side afloat in dire times and avoided the occurrence of a dramatic trashing, most evidenced in the visits to New Gazi and Valanora. His red card in the second Qusmo game for a blatant tackle outside the box does retract some points but that Azzini placed him back between the sticks against Savalen confirms what is plain to see for all: the captain is still up for it. The confidence from the defenders in him is crucial in all this and when selected for the Cup of Harmony, no one doubts he’ll pick up his role once more.

5/10 – Luca Bonnici – 2 games, 0 clean sheets

First of all, we must say that Bonnici received ample chances to show his merit and if so, these tended to be in either dire circumstances or in a game in which it was difficult to play his role. When he entered the field, cold, for a booked Moscardelli during the Qusmo game, all knew that it would be hard to keep a point, let alone three, as the outnumbered players tired under the unrelenting pressure. Bonnici nosedived along with the guys and took in two goals at Mastad Tracada. However, his second appearance, in a pouring rain and a half-empty Stadio Farelli, could have been a chance to demonstrate that he is up for the task at hand, ready to pick up the gloves once they inevitably become too big on Moscardelli. Taking in two goals against an inexplicably disappointing New Gazi showed that one should hope that retirement is not upon the Cadenza veteran yet.

5.5/10 – Dexter Micallef – 14 games, 1 assist

One could wonder whether the stats from Micallef are the consequence of a consistent success or rather caused by the lack of alternative for his position. Left out only on rare occasions or during an uncharacteristical tactical gambit by Azzini, Micallef remains a household name in the line-up. We must add, to his defence, that we cannot remember a specifically disappointing performance from Dex’ but more often than not, he contributed little apart from his minimal responsibilities. If the team went under, he went along and rarely would he be the one manning the pumps. Being only 23, we cannot expect him to lead the way but this round of qualifiers should form a learning experience. More than anybody else, Micallef will have to showcase he can be of importance in games against opponents of the calibre of the last two or the need for an alternative will be voiced.

4.5/10 – Periklys Kaflas – 11 games

Some might consider this as a harsh grading on a player who at times showed an incredible grit and an unquestioned willingness to reap results for the team. Hardened and hardworking, Kaflas went headfirst into the challenges at hand and far too often, that was exactly the problem. Even against mediocre adversaries, he got caught out of position, the most blatant example shown in the home game against Savalen when he offered a boulevard for the 3-2 which inspired a very difficult last half hour. Add to that a series of cards, including no less than two red cartons, and one can wonder if Kaflas can be kept on board. It might even be asked aloud whether the fact that his number of appearances after the halfway point being inverse to the amount of points gathered is just coincidence or a confirmation of what’s known deep down: Peri is a hero, but not up for the task.

7/10 – Marko Ban – 16 games

The sole player not to miss a single second of the campaign can look back at a series of performances in which he cemented his role as a key defender, not just for today but also for tomorrow. Ban focussed on organising the system and became the lynchpin in keeping his often shaky comrades in the back together. No wonder that he morphed into the central element of the defensive trio. However, that transition did cost him some attacking prowess and the Valesjka man provided few of the refreshing passes for which he is known domestically. Additionally, his late blooper which kept us from a stunt victory over Polkopia does cost points in the end. At the other end of the scales, we do underline his clean showing last week in Savalen, where his leadership came to the forefront to achieve the most prestigious of the clean sheets so far.

6.5/10 – Hamzi Derbali – 15 games, 1 goal, 2 assists

A score like this can go two ways. Either the player delivered a set of good, but rather unremarkable performances and gets lauded for his consistency. In case of Derbali, this rather points to a form curve that reminds one rather of a rollercoaster than a coastline. At times, Derbali dominated his wing with a natural flair and the sort of gusto that reminds one of wingers who have been around for years. In that regard, his game against Axuva stands out – reigning the left-hand side and whipping in crosses, one of which converted by the inevitable Prigidar. But during games in which Karulicja found its back against the wall, or its own goal for that matter, this tended to disappear at times. Valanora was decent, Eastfield Lodge and much earlier, the first Polkopia game were less inspiring. Consistency will be key in the future – but Derbali remains an important asset for Azzini.

5/10 – Wael de Angelis – 5 games

Once you’ve reached the age of this Societa Cadenza household name, you’re quite aware of your tasks and limitations. Being the initial solution to the Kaflas breakdown, de Angelis kept his focus on straightforward, simple defending. In some cases, we would use this as a compliment but de Angelis failed to convince anyone as most of his appearances qualified as average at best. And yet, should we be surprised? ‘Angelo’ is the first to admit that his speed is faltering and at this level, you pay in cash for that. The way he drowned in the first Qusmo game, against a direct opponent with a better speed of execution, symbolised what was going on. Nonetheless, we admire that he made no excuses and during his minutes in the Polkopia draw, he showed how he can still contribute to this squad – coming in to defend a lead under pressure. A man whom no fan will miss if he is cut from the squad, but who does have the utmost respect from his teammates.

6.5/10 – Armend Rroshi – 6 games

The surprise of the second half of the qualifiers, Rroshi picked up the broken pieces Periklys Kaflas left behind. A hard man who takes no prisoners himself either, he showcased that these characteristics do not necessarily mean you should be picking up cards by the dozen. Was his debut against Nuadh-Alba slightly hesitant, searching for his position, than the partnership with Marko Ban developed admirably in the next few games. Don’t believe in dreams – Rroshi remains a player with limited technical capacities but he managed to keep a direct opponent out of the game – did anyone hear anything from that Savalen striker anymore? Additionally, Armend Rroshi possesses the advantage of the young, soaking up these experiences as a sponge and clearly growing throughout. If he can keep his back straight in the last 180 minutes, we’ve got a new starter on our hands.

6.5/10 – Apostol Hysi – 14 games, 1 goal

Let us kick off with the good news. Hysi’s notorious lung capacity withstands the test at an international level, making him a key asset in the football Azzini intends to play. His yards have given Ceccarelli and Kunstelj the oxygen to develop their football, making the squad better overall. The celebration of his goal, the kind one only seen on guys who score rarely, has gone viral and shows the dedication with which Hysi fulfils his tasks. But, we can’t make this a fair judgement without pointing to the visible glares in his skillset. Apo adds little to nothing in the build-up and even struggles to distribute the leather quick enough to his teammates before being put under pressure. As much as he helps out his teammates, he needs assistance himself badly to ensure that he adds to the formation, instead of weighing it down. A loyal soldier, but never a general.

7.5/10 – Graziano Ceccarelli – 16 games, 1 goal, 2 assists

The mere fact that he is one of the three players to start each game of the campaign so far evidences the confidence the gaffer has in this modest midfielder. More importantly, Il Principe made a transformation from promising element into key player throughout these games. One could look to the Valanora game to pinpoint the moment Ceccarelli took a step forward. Whilst all expected him to fold back, he managed not just to stand up to players of international stature such as va Drake and Hawk, but also to direct the play. An attitude that made an enormous impact on the second half of the qualifiers for which he deserves more than an eight. Daring to move forward on the pitch much more, he provides an alternative route to goal for Trevisan and allows this team to reach its full potential. This Graziano could be in the backbone of the squad for a long time.

5.5/10 – Christos Gialousis – 2 games

With the sparse chances Gialousis received, it is difficult to make a full and fair assessment of these qualifiers for Gialousis. However, what trickled down during his two games is that what the defensive midfield offers does not match with the expectations from Azzini. To his merit, we’ve got to say that both times, Christos kept the ludicrous tackles to an absolute minimum and tried to work like a madman. However, even against Rakivland he struggled to conform to the plan and make an impact. Can Gialousis still make it into the Cup of Harmony squad – if Karulicja qualifies, that is? We’re inclined to say yes as he did an effort to clean up his act. And, in all fairness, we do feel that throwing him in against Polkopia in the dying minutes could have dragged the three points over the line. He’s a type player and one wonders if this line-up has to room for those.

[Darkmania]

ÖRKENDREM PAPERS

Has the dream ended?

Article written by: Erÿk Sätbernar

(Player Jëms Tërman after the deafeat. Photo: Rëubens Dernërmarn)

Dreamplanet 4–3 Darkmania

LIBON, Dreamplanet
The "goal-fest of Libon" has ended with a crushing blow to the national team. With a littery a last minute goal by Aaron Hungar, the dream of qualification to the world cup. It seems to be over...
However, there are still two matches to play, with Darkmania needing to win both of them. This will be hard, but as Darkmania was on a roll winning match after match after match. There are only 5 points separating the 2nd place and Darkmania, who felt down to 5th place, one over the best nations in the group who cannot qualify. There still hope.

Group 11                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Mriin                            16   13   2   1    50   16  +34    41
 2 Abanhfleft                       16   11   1   4    32   19  +13    34
 3 Jeruselem                        16    9   3   4    35   26   +9    30
 4 Dreamplanet                      16    9   2   5    37   33   +4    29
 5 Darkmania                        16    9   2   5    43   34   +9    29
 6 Sultanate of Oontaz              16    6   4   6    20   28   −8    22
 7 Crystalline Caverns              16    6   3   7    20   24   −4    21
 8 Mareibat                         16    4   0  12    22   34  −12    12
 9 Neo-Romanum                      16    1   4  11    17   37  −20     7
10 Lycrabon                         16    1   1  14    12   37  −25     4

[Mercedini]

XX. Mercedini
"Hole In My Head" - Helena Malakhina
Language(s): English
Lyrics: Helena Malakhina
Music: Daniel Alishkaerni, Mateo Dommazoni
Tune: Dua Lipa - Hotter Than Hell

The Mercedinian performance begins with the stage in Polumisec bathed in red light which shine down from the lighting set around the stage. Five women are scattered around the stage, some standing tall, some laying low, but all striking empowering poses to the audience in front of them. Four of them are wearing black cat suits with red bracelets and necklaces, while the woman in the centre is wearing a white catsuit with the same red bracelets and necklaces. The spotlight on the ceiling of the arena lights up to reveal the woman in the white catsuit in the main vocalist and artist of the song. She steps forward to sing the opening verse of the song, with the modest audience simply looking on and observing the performance

The recipe is simple
You can feel it from within
The patience that I've got, boy you know it's wearing thin.
Time to bring my wounds to heal
It's the one and true test
You probably think I don't mean
When I say I wont come back

The song begins to pick up the pace as the beat and the tropical vibes begin to kick in to the song, and that is reflected in the lights on stage as white beams flash from left to right, up and down as the four other women all stand tall and walks towards the main performer to create an arrow shape with Malakhina at the head of it. The audience microphones pick up on the audience clapping along to the beat of the song, with a small number of flags waving in the stands at the side of the arena. The camera in the centre of the arena zooms in towards the five of them on stage.

You can't win this war, babe.
As our armies come together and liberates my soul
I cant take no more, yeah
Time to run because my body is susceptible

The red hue dissipates from the stage as a number of spotlight converge onto the head of the Mercedinian performer, giving the appearance of a light crown on top of her head as the camera captures the five performers on the relatively small stage. The women in the black catsuits spread out across the stage as flashing lights arrive for the more intense sequence of the song, with faint strobing reflecting off the back wall of the arena as the faint rippling effect in the song rings out across the arena and across television sets across the multiverse. Its a short time for the Mercedinian to make a statement, as Malakhina points to her temple as she sings the title lyrics of the song before the beat kicks in.

Because the hole in my head
Doesn't hurt, it heals me instead
And there's no way back
To the place where we once met
It's a game between my angels and devils
But you won't make it through
The hole in my head
Hole in my head

The five of the strike another pose which mimics the opening of the song, with the women in black striking rather strenuous poses while Helena strikes a pose which keeps her in line with her fellow performers but still allows her to sing with relative ease as nations across the multiverse make up their minds about their votes and their points. The camera enters the main performing area from the back and strafes across the five women before moving back to were Helena is standing as she breaks her pose and walks to the very front of the stage. The camera sweeps off the stage before cutting back to the main angles of the arena to continue the performance.

You can come, you're not welcome
Don't know what you want here
Don't say I've left you wanting
Don't say we can repair
We've done the deeds but there's no deal
All I'm left with is regret
Just don't treat me like an envoy
I don't subscribe to your debts, no.

Malakhina turns her attention to the audience in the arena after focusing on the camerawork for the previous couple of minutes. She scours the crowd and sings to the anonymous masses before spotting waving Mercedinian and Shebnatsiyan flags waving, where the gives a wry smile and pointing to the Mercedinian group towards the back of the arena. The four other women dance around her before they all strut towards the middle with their steps matching the beat of the song, the black catsuits retreat to leave Helena on her won in the centre of the stage. The lights converge on the centre of the stage before the camera cuts to a close up of the performer singing the final lyrics before the bass drop.

You can't win this war, babe.
As our armies come together and liberates my soul
I can't take no more, yeah
Time to run because my body is susceptible

The red and white flashing lights return to the performance as Helena takes to the front of the stage with the rest of the performers dotted across the stage behind her. A thin veil smoke is placed upon the stage floor which reflects some of the light from above to give the lower halves of the performers a red glow from the view of the audience, the song continues as the crowd get into it more with the lights and music all combining into a spectacle on stage. Something to savour even if the result isn't right come the end of the contest.

Because the hole in my head
Doesn't hurt, it heals me instead
And there's no way back
To the place where we once met
It's a game between my angels and devils
But you won't make it through
The hole in my head
Hole in my head

The four women who once accompanied Malakhina are no longer visible as the Mercedinian vocalist stands on her own in the centre of the stage with red and white lights around her. The camera comes up on the stage once again to circle the Mercedinian performer to take in the bright lights of the stage and the dark abyss of the audience, not lit by the stage lights. The Polumisec locals seem to be getting on board with the song, with the Mercedinian portions of the crowd clapping along, supporting their girl.

No feeling like it
Freedom makes me like this
No way I'm going back like that
Freedom makes me like this
Never letting you right back
Baby, you ain't coming back here.
Someone else can like this
You're not my king

A second chorus comes a quick as the first went, with the four women arriving back on stage for the final part of the song. A wind machine is turned on at the bottom of the stage to wipe away the thin blanket of smoke that was present during the middle sections of the song. The white lights dissipate from the staging to give the song a deep red vibe with it's colour choices on stage, with the white catsuit of Malakhina the only thing shining through the darkness. The five women converge to form an arrow at the front of the stage once again, mimicking the start of the song as it comes to an end.

Because the hole in my head
Doesn't hurt, it heals me instead
And there's no way back
To the place where we once met
It's a game between my angels and devils
But you won't make it through
The hole in my head
Hole in my head

Hole in my head
Hole in my head

One final shot of the camera zooming in on the face of Malakhina as the five women all point to their temples, giving the audience in the arena and at home a visual representation of the lyrics that they are singing. Helena's cold but determined stare into the camera caps off an empowering performance for the vocalist, following her previous 5th place finish at WorldVision. It has been a rather emotional return to the international stage due to her previously political songs about Shebnatsiyan independence, however she has embraced the international stage as a Mercedinian, and lift one hand into the air she mutters the final lyrics of the song.

But you wont make it through
The hole in my head

The five of them stand tall in the centre of the arena, marking the end of another strong Mercedinian performance for the nation in blue and black. Modest applause from the fans and spectators inside the small arena in Polumisec as the five performers wave the crowd, paying special attention to the Mercedinian section of the crowd that was spotted earlier in the performance. She thanks the crowd in her semi-broken English and very broken Izmeduan 'Hvala Izmedu. Thank you one and all, we love you much, very much!". She blows you one final kiss to the crowd before the camera pans back to the next postcard.

[Tinhampton]

TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 0-3 Brenecia
Venue: Kingsgarden, Rozelle, Brenecia

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

• Tinhampton (Sweeper 5-3-2): 12. Julia ATHERTON (GK), 19. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 13. Evan MORRIS, 14. Nathaniel GEORGE (↻ PORTER 83'), 15. Davina SALT, 16. Brian SMALL, 17. Steve CAMERON, 6. Michael YOUNG (C), 18. Jacob NORTH, 11. Ian GRAHAM, 21. Simon FORD (↻ EVANS 58')
• Brenecia (4-1-4-1): 1. Mathis WOODGATE (GK), 2. Keziah BROXHAM, 5. Cheney HENEGHAM, 6. Niko SZUBANSKI (C), 3. Gethin QUILL, 4. Roisin STAUNTON (↻ ALWEATHER 76'), 7. Brae CROWTHER, 21. Falcon CASE, 13. Corby WHEELER (↻ RUSKIN 67'), 16. Cathal KEYNES, 9. Griffin RIORDAN
  No players were unable to play today.

GOALS (times provided in minutes; OOC refer to Brenecia's RP): Falcon CASE 12', Cathal KEYNES 34', Brae CROWTHER 71'.
CARDS: None, happily.
INJURIES: None.
OTHER INCIDENTS: FORD's (TIN) substitution off was explained to TFA officials via fax machine as a result of being "a little bit tired." He will be rested against Octinstine on Matchday 17. Owing to the fact that MD14 vs Colonial Australia was awarded by default to Tinhampton, Julia Atherton (unsurprisingly) misses out on the chance to join... erm, Josh Smith times four on the list of

TINHAMPTONIAN STREAKS OF THREE CLEAN SHEETS OR MORE:

• 3 games: World Cup Qualifiers 79, MD12-14 (3-0 vs Kaboomlandia, 3-0 vs Omerica, 2-0 vs New Danican)
• 3 games: World Cup Qualifiers 79, MD17-18; and Independents Cup 4, MD1 (1-0 vs Kernovi [and Rewgwlas], 0-0 vs Turori, 1-0 vs Otakuverse)
• 4 games: World Cup Qualifiers 81, MD3-6 (2-0 vs South Libertopia, 1-0 vs Colonial Australia [note: match lasted less than 15 seconds], 4-0 vs Cobrio, 1-0 vs Czarna Gora)
• 3 games: World Cup Qualifiers 81, (2-0 vs Octinstine, 0-0 vs Cassadaigua, 2-0 vs Al-Mumtaz)

---

Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 17: A Dollar Devalued, Part 1

---

Gasworks Road, Tinhampton - 06:44 Tinhampton time, 17th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 1.906 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
Over the preceding five years, the Tinhamptonian dollar had risen by 33% against its international equivalent. Something had gone deadly seriously wrong, but Victoria Byrne was not interested in any of that nonsense, mostly because she had a job to do as the Minister of Finance, and so needed to focus on balancing all the multiplicious factors that comprised the already-precarious Tinhamptonian economy.
Not to be deterred by the equally-hefty condemnation handed out to her proposals at the previous day's Ministry meeting, she did not so soon wake up as grab a pen and start whacking down an relatively ludicrously brief draft of how Tinhampton would divide its needs... between paying off its debt and freeing the three Transaridian hostages (strange, I know). Of course, she did screw up massively in converting TID to MSD, but everybody would be whipped in favour of approving what would otherwise be a more mundane plan. Surely this wasn't the only thing being reversed today?

Away dressing room, Kingsgarden, Rozelle, Brenecia - 12:10 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 1.935 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
The outrage was not confined to the streets of Tinhampton. For starters, it's hard to feel popular when half of your home country resents you, your team support is outnumbered 115-to-1 and located at the other end of the pitch, and you somehow manage to ship almost as many goals in 70 minutes as your forebear did in 1,200. "Speak harshly and carry the Multiverse-Record holder for biggest stick" was, after a defeat in the manner and style as that handed out to Tinhampton at Rozelle, an absolutely necessary strategem.
"Do you really completely understand," bemoaned current Retinues and widely-tipped future Miners captain Atherton, "the true nature of this defeat? It means that if we lose to Cassadaigua, we can expect to receive a right royal humiliation back home. We were rubbish today - that includes yourself, hell, that includes myself - and we cannot afford to do this at Tinhampton or Concord Heights! This is absolutely not the kind of performance that anybody associated with Tinhampton wants to see! Anybody, that is, except the Dagan journalists... Do you really want to completely understand - yes, again - the true nature of their comments?"
Michael Young, the captain, could faintly nod. An indication of the true boss? Or, perhaps, a mere sign of consent? Either way, the goalkeeper brandished a large sheet bearing the following haphazardly-attached newspaper quotes:

Yesterday Was A Good Day,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

...

What makes MD17 very meaningful is determining who would advance to the playoff if our nations ended up drawing in the last game. Therefore, plenty of reason for each nation to go all out. In a situation like this, you have to like the team that has experience, and has won clutch games in the past. It will be a fascinating conclusion to qualifying, for sure.

Wake up, Brenecia!
By Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

...

By the way, Octinstine, you are the reason we are in this damn mess. Why don’t you make some amends for that and get a shock result against Tinhampton, too.

World Observations Courtesy of World Cup,
by Lauren Van Zandt, Concord Heights Times Political Correspondent

As the World Cup qualifying campaign begins to enter crunch time, let’s take a look at what is going on. Perhaps we will be seeing some of these teams playing in Cassadaigua for the Cup of Harmony. We don’t actually want to be there, but surely someone like Tinhampton would look great playing in Cassadaigua or Equestrian States, wouldn’t they?

...

The only place that loyal followers of the Miners were going to be throwing their beers was in the general direction of... other fans. When was the last time a mere football match caused the national currency to deprecate?

Tinhampton International Airport, Tinhampton - 13:42 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 1.951 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
Tinhampton had lost against Brenecia; fair enough (to most, that much can be said), but three goals? At least Athers had been given her marching orders when the Retinues were two goals down against Polaris! To no surprise, more cars were trashed, more homes destroyed, and more effigies angrily burned. The great battles and grown-up secondary school mean-girls had carried on their assaults, this time in the broad and bleak daylight of the Tinhamptonian square, now for little apparent reason other than "fuck the government" and "JULIA ATHERNOT SHOULD RESIGN" (quoth one particular sign a mile away or thereabouts; that Atherton cannot just "resign" from the national team and has no intention of retiring says more about the intelligence of placard holder-in-chief Jimmy Craven, 31, than it does about the TFA or even the defenders of Brian Small, who was partially at fault for all three Patriot strikes).
That was the city. Eighteen minutes to two o'clock that day proved to be breaking point for one particular island of protestors - taking the opportunity firstly to commence their raid at the bus depot at the relative tranquility of Tinhampton International, no less than seven men (they all were) climbed in, awaiting their chance to conduct the biggest threat to their lives that had ever been seen. After all, you can't cite abuse of public transport as a reason to ban guns from Tinhampton forevermore, can't you?

Mawgan Road, Tinhampton - 13:42 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS *STILL* EQUAL TO 1.951 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
We return to Victoria Byrne, by now dubbed by even fiercely loyal conservative blog Vox Antipopuli as being "a crapmastress of the premier level," but who had by now stabilised a few blocks away upon Mawgan Road, the street of Byrne's main personal residence and fairly upmarket area: it is Tinhampton, after all. Today, she had a surprise guest, who had come for the football ("it was pretty shit, Vatunska and fucking Small should know better by now") - George Sherry, nobody particularly special but an advisor for the Minister of Business Standards.
Having simmered and settled down over a few delightful cups of tea, it was at that point that Byrne requested the details of a key operation: "Following revisions to the budget plan, how much should we now allocate to paying off debt, funding public services, and funding---crap, finding more money for the hostages?"
"That is," hit back Sherry, "not a question I immediately have the answer to, nor am able to answer. That being said, I'll just nab your car keys and get on the way out, I know how to deal with this sort of nonsense. We'll just tell them we're on official government business so that mandatory car insurance can go screw itself up the River Yazoo. Hmmm, insurance... you aren't required to insure your home, your pets, or your technologitrons, but you do have to insure your car. To misquote one of our non-Douglas founding fathers, what kind of heresy is this?"

Gasworks Road, Tinhampton - 14:35 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 2.261 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
Upon the somewhat simpler storming of one major branch of the Miners' Building Society, two-and-a-quarter Multiversal Standard Dollar had as much value as a single one of its Tinhamptonian sister. By this point, with Wright insisting on not attending and his forebear Anderson still held hostage (with, lest you need reminding, Gertrude Spencer of the ELF and Mike Davis of Mondial Services), John Price and Lance Dyer had been left alone on their proposed voyage, firstly to the airport and then to Kharda...
...is the wrong answer. One of the infamous interns, noticing the two most powerful men in the city scrolling over the miniature and presumably fabricated RSVP, inquired "Hmmm... why are you reading that and why is it such a significant document? Our constitution's not that small!"
"That," replied Mayor Price, "is an invite to a special meeting with a special somebody at a nation called Transarid for negotiations. Not that anybody anywhere else has said anything about this trip, but I'm certain you'd be OK, you don't need to worry about anything of this scale, we'll be safe.." The intern faintly nodded, although definitively out of early surrender.

Mawgan Road, Tinhampton - 16:12 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 2.511 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
Did Sherry rush back to Byrne's home? Well, taking three-quarters of an hour to drive for little over a mile can be called that in Tinhampton, but rarely anywhere else. What can positively be commented upon is the mercurial pace with which he rushed to her living room (the door was left unlocked - not even Vicky seems to know why), charging through two sets of doors virtually unscathed to find somebody completely different with her feet up on the sofa watching a three-decade-old movie with little immediately relevance to football... wait, make that none.
"Uhh, what?" splurted Byrne's wife Anne, as if not expecting a slightly-changed administrator to barge into her home and castle. This, rather, completely identical administrator pulled a facepalm and quivered upstairs to find, at last, the Finance Minister reading the Herald on her bed.
"I'm sorry... Victoria," punily noted Sherry. "I think... you should only allocate a hundred million per person at most. Perhaps divide the remaining money half-and-half between debt and government services?" Her subsequent eyeroll led little to be desired or implied.
By now, that branch of the Miners' had been firebombed into oblivion, like at least eighteen or so other buildings had been over the past couple of days... and it had millions of dollars in it too. In the time it had taken for George Sherry to offer his recommendation and watch it get an ambiguous reply, the Tinhamptonian dollar rose by a smidgen under 30% against its international equivalent.

New Hill Avenue, Tinhampton - 16:16 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 2.512 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS

OOC Fonts Disclaimer:
Transport Medium is subject to Crown Copyright, and this font contains
public sector information licensed under the Open Government Licence v1.0.

Not all roads lead to Tinhampton International Airport, but those that do are few and simple in nature - one way to arrive through the M035 Spur Road that takes you southwards, three others force you to go through some thick and dense countryside roads that take you towards the north and the east respectively, and - most obviously for Tinhampton's government - you can get there from the city centre, or indeed anywhere in "proper" Tinhampton, from the A03901.
After driving about three miles westwards (in Price's case, anyway) along several minor A-roads, you latch onto the Alexandra Svensson Junction which commences said highway, the left of which ironically takes you to the south again. Don't ask why you can't carry straight on - Tor Hill has no major roads straight from there to the airport - nor about why the "g" in "Northgate" is slightly truncated, we have our resident graphic designers for that!
Once that is done, you need to carry on before turning right, at which point you turn onto the Western Roundabout, which marks the end of "Tinhamptonian civilisation" as such and leads you on to the M035 Spur Road (this being Junction 10 out of 10) - perhaps yet another country road or even a works exit, although we shall dwell on neither of those. Junction 9 is widely considered to be one of the city's ugliest infrastructional rambuncles, Junction 8 serves Terminal 1, Junction 7 does likewise for Terminal 2, the next five junctions lead you to Tinhampton itself, and Junction 1 is... also known as M035 Junction 9.
The flight to Kharda had already been chartered when Lance Dyer's official vehicle (you are surely aware of the fate of the mayoral car), carrying himself, the Mayor, a driver and "some sort of bodyguard person" - had set off on Junction 7, also towards the grimmer environ of New Hill Avenue. On all sides, there were being widely bared slogans of statement, mottos of mourning, flames of fury, of passion... of fire.
Wasn't it only supposed to be seven or eight people doing all of this? No - these people had caught wind of these offensive actions, intent not just on aid and support but of the collapse of the Tinhamptonian government as they knew it; and had obviously never read the sign inside the terminals that read "WARNING! You WILL LOSE your Tinhamptonian citizenship if you commit acts of terror! Destroying Terrorism Act 1994, §3".
As the crowds shrouded towards the very centre of the road, there was surely no escape from this complete and utter nightmare of economic, political - and motoring - panic. This, a few hundred metres away, proved the go signal for the combustion of the stolen bus, which had not yet been taken and which had been ignored by the police in favour of a long-since ambushed escort, to prove a point that nobody seems to be certain of to this day. Immediately after the audible rush, there came a popular rush attempting to claim an official car for the second time in two days, which proved unsuccessful... at the cost of six protestors. The worm had - literally and metaphorically - turned.
In an instant, the dollar rose by 16% again, no matter that there was no damage to the infrastructure of the airport itself. This beggars the question - "how can a bombing of an empty bus cause this?" - and the answer, "that bus was meant to transport Octinstine to their game at Tin Park the following day." Suffice to say that, in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the city centre, a dozen more had their lives taken in the Tinhamptonian riots that still dragged on.

Gasworks Road, Tinhampton - 17:59 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 3.162 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
The dollar was on the brink, having amassed so much inflation on such a petite timescale that no metaphor can reasonably describe it. So, too, was John Price's leadership, who had collected and courted even more controversy than could be expected, especially over the preceding two weeks. With six o'clock nigh and a hastily-prepared but potentially hugely influential exercise in public relations in his hand and an empty mug of coffee in the other, in a dimly lit room at 1 Gasworks Road, John Price was nudged by a special advisor of his to present it, when perhaps it would have been lost to all eternity had the recommendation gone the other way. Even in spite of hundreds of ravenous journalists and thousands of disgruntled citizens, the Mayor's notice was brief yet powerful:

Good evening. Over the past few weeks, I would like to admit that I have failed to do my duty - especially in regards to war, conflict, the workability of the recent budget, agreement with the cabinet and offending certain members of it also. An apology would have been nice, but regrettably would have been attacked by so many more people than would have benefitted from it. To these ends, it is my intention to resign as Mayor, effective on the 5th of October. On Baptism Day, the new Mayor of Tinhampton, whoever he or she is, will surely head Tinhampton into a future that is confusing yet blindingly shimmery at once. You know who you are. So long, my friends... and enemies.

What could you have possibly inferred from Daniel Steer's imminent declaration that "I fully intend to take up a challenge to the (political) death for Tinhampton's leadership," or from similar announcements by Howard, Davis and Wright? What could possibly go wrong with having four people seek endorsements from eight others to fight against each other in a race to somewhere around the bottom? Can't we just put two and two together, let alone two and four?

Gasworks Road, Tinhampton - 18:32 Tinhampton time, 18th September 2018
1 MULTIVERSAL STANDARD DOLLAR IS EQUAL TO 3.154 TINHAMPTONIAN DOLLARS
Over the preceding five hours, the Tinhamptonian dollar had risen by 63% against its international equivalent. Something had gone deadly seriously wrong, but Victoria Byrne was not interested in any of that nonsense, mostly because she had resigned as Minister of Finance also, and so everybody lived angrily ever after. The beginning.

[Darmen]

Tor Tong Lee yawned. Being head of state was an exhausting job. Lee and Foreign Affairs Secretary Donald O'Donahaue reclined in their chairs looking over various files.

"3,200 and 47,000 does not equal 50,000," said O'Donahaue, shaking his head, "You would expect a civil servant to do basic maths, wouldn't you?"

"You would expect an All Green to put the ball into the back of an open net, wouldn't you?" replied Lee, also shaking his head as he watched Zachariah Butler's shot rocket towards space instead of the goal. The shrill of the referee's whistle exited from the television's speakers immediately after, signaling the end of the match. Darmen one, Coldfield one, both in goals and in points. Baker Park remained top of the table.

O'Donahaue ignored his superior's rhetorical question, "So, with both the Echani and Euran deals going through¹, the public works program can go ahead. And in the process we've made Nash look quite the fool."

"How so?" asked Lee.

"Well," began O'Donahaue, leaning even further back in his chair, a smug smile appearing on his face, "Nash's original plan called for only twenty billion dollars to employ 300,000 workers for a three year period. Do the maths, and those workers couldn't get paid any more than maybe 5,000 dollars per year. We're actually going to be spending 18.9 billion dollars and only employing 16,000 workers. At least they'll be getting paid decent wages."

"But how does that make Nash a fool? Like I get the whole workers not being paid enough, but politicians are always underestimating the costs of their proposals."

"Well, if we get our friends in the media to spin this just ever so slightly, we can portray Nash as an unqualified politician who makes wild, impossible proposals. We'll let the public know that he shouldn't be leading a major political party, let alone be the Vice President of the country. As a matter of fact, I know of a lad in the United Left with aspirations of becoming their party leader. I think I'll have a chat with him latter today," finished O'Donahaue, picking up his drink from the table next to him and taking a sip of scotch. He looked mighty pleased.

"You think too much like a spy," said Lee.

"I am, er, was a spy, so can you blame me," said O'Donahaue, as the two men looked at each other, smiling. After a moment, O'Donahaue continued, "On a more serious note, please remember that your trip to watch the All Greens vs. Baker Park match with the Prime Minister of Baker Park is primarily to discuss trade. We're going there by their invite. Any escapades made by you to get on the field and play in the match could very well be looked upon negatively. Please don't get any ideas to put on the jersey once again like you did against Sargossa."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm too tired to play football after all of this governing business," replied Lee, making the most genuine look of tiredness he could muster.

"Good," said O'Donahaue, getting up to leave. "In any case, I'll be there to keep you in check."

Lee waited until the door closed behind O'Donahaue. He rose from his chair and walked behind his desk. Opening the top drawer, he stared at its contents. His old football boot stared back at him. He closed the door, shaking his head. He couldn't. He shouldn't. He took a few steps away. He took a few steps back, sitting down in his chair. He untied his shoes, slipping them off. He reopened the drawer.

He could. He might. Lee smiled, not noticing a disappointed O'Donahaue peering through a crack in the door.

---

¹OOC: I haven't actually received confirmation of this from either Eshan or Eura, but in the absence of any response to the contrary, I'm going to assume my requests were accepted.