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[SUBMITTED] Sin City (The Incorporation Issue)

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Founded: Apr 18, 2018
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 5:22 pm

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:
Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:
Description: In an attempt to curb his city's rising debt, Mayor Bernie Craigen attempted to politically annex the neighboring unincorporated territory of "The Stripe," an area known for its economic prosperity .... However, the residents there are attempting to resist this annexation by applying for township,



Aight then. How would option 2 work, then?


It wouldn't, but for the same reason it doesn't really work as is.

"Economic prosperity" is too vague, and makes the current draft read like a national-level economic dispute transposed to the local/city level. You'll need to rework the premise to specify a dispute that makes sense at the local/city level. What specifically is it that being absorbed into Neighbor Town would do to ruin things?

Casinos on The Stripe being afraid they'll get taxed a bit, or something, doesn't really capture an interesting dispute since presumably a defensively-created township will need to raise taxes for funding too.
Last edited by Ab Humanitatis Scientiam on Thu May 17, 2018 5:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Thu May 17, 2018 5:25 pm

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:It wouldn't, but for the same reason it doesn't really work as is.

"Economic prosperity" is too vague, and makes the current draft read like a national-level economic dispute transposed to the local/city level. You'll need to rework the premise to specify a dispute that makes sense at the local/city level. What specifically is it that being absorbed into Neighbor Town would do to ruin things?


As the mayor says: "Yeah, it'll be a few taxes and a new politically-opposite government." If The Stripe was absorbed, they supposedly won't be able to do as well because of the mayor's decisions, which might revolve around paying off the debt to an extent. That could injure the businesses' profits, which is why they don't want to be absorbed.
Last edited by Shwe Tu Colony on Thu May 17, 2018 5:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 5:28 pm

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:
Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:It wouldn't, but for the same reason it doesn't really work as is.

"Economic prosperity" is too vague, and makes the current draft read like a national-level economic dispute transposed to the local/city level. You'll need to rework the premise to specify a dispute that makes sense at the local/city level. What specifically is it that being absorbed into Neighbor Town would do to ruin things?


As the mayor says: "Yeah, it'll be a few taxes and a new politically-opposite government." If The Stripe was absorbed, they supposedly won't be able to do as well because of the mayor's decisions, which might revolve around paying off the debt to an extent. That could injure the businesses' profits, which is why they don't want to be absorbed.


Repost for "need to stop editing posts after posting:"

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:Casinos on The Stripe being afraid they'll get taxed a bit, or something, doesn't really capture an interesting dispute since presumably a defensively-created township will need to raise taxes for funding too.

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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 5:32 pm

I'd recommend inverting the Good Guy/Bad Guy division. Make The Stripe a wealthy enclave of hedonistic anti-govenrment casino types freeloading on some public service of the nearby/surrounding City (fire protection, down-on-their-luck bum relocation, etc.). City argues for annexation so that The Stripe can be made to pay their fair share! (and maybe a bit more for good measure!). The Stripe resists because FREEDOM! (to mooch!), etc.
Last edited by Ab Humanitatis Scientiam on Thu May 17, 2018 5:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Thu May 17, 2018 5:39 pm

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:I'd recommend inverting the Good Guy/Bad Guy division. Make The Stripe a wealthy enclave of hedonistic anti-govenrment casino types freeloading on some public service of the nearby/surrounding City (fire protection, down-on-their-luck bum relocation, etc.). City argues for annexation so that The Stripe can be made to pay their fair share. The Stripe resists because FREEDOM! (to mooch!), etc.


That does seem like an actual issue, yes, more than the Paradise-based one (plus I'd like to make the reference to Paradise, Nevada's history a bit less apparent, just to). I'll try to get that into use... soon. However, it does seem strangely normal or standard: "this private industry" is doing something vaguely unfair or undesirable, "someone" doesn't like it, which is what a few other issues have done, albeit with different topics (like profiteering drug companies in #107: Private Lab Holds @@NAME@@'s Sick To Ransom & antibiotics being given to chickens in #563: Resistance is Fertile)

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:Repost for "need to stop editing posts after posting:"


Well, we're both doing the editing thing.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 5:46 pm

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:That does seem like an actual issue, yes, more than the Paradise-based one (plus I'd like to make the reference to Paradise, Nevada's history a bit less apparent, just to). I'll try to get that into use... soon. However, it does seem strangely normal or standard: "this private industry" is doing something vaguely unfair or undesirable, "someone" doesn't like it, which is what a few other issues have done, albeit with different topics (like profiteering drug companies in #107: Private Lab Holds @@NAME@@'s Sick To Ransom & antibiotics being given to chickens in #563: Resistance is Fertile)


If we look at the full published issue space, I'd say we can fairly conclude that Evil Industry and Evil Government are both established and tired tropes.

What's new here is that the dynamic involves a local government vs. a (effectively) no government in a nation where devolution is an established policy. The player at some point will have made the assertion, through an option selection, that devolution is good. Your issue now presents the "yeah, but what about...?" This is a valid extension of this little corner of the issue space. It will be especially good if you make all your options cost something (that is, be "bad" in some reasonable way) rather than just have an obvious (and boring) good guy vs. evil guy.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Thu May 17, 2018 5:53 pm

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:
If we look at the full published issue space, I'd say we can fairly conclude that Evil Industry and Evil Government are both established and tired tropes.

What's new here is that the dynamic involves a local government vs. a (effectively) no government in a nation where devolution is an established policy. The player at some point will have made the assertion, through an option selection, that devolution is good. Your issue now presents the "yeah, but what about...?" This is a valid extension of this little corner of the issue space. It will be especially good if you make all your options cost something (that is, be "bad" in some reasonable way) rather than just have an obvious (and boring) good guy vs. evil guy.


Hmm, aight then. Looks like the most major issues here have been covered, so now it's just a matter of editing the issue accordingly. Check in in, oh, maybe 40 business days. I should be done by then :U (making this post so you know that you won't have to pay attention here for a bit of time).
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 6:17 pm

As far as the title goes, do enough players know the ultra-minimal amount of Spanish needed to get the double meaning of Sin City?

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Thu May 17, 2018 6:19 pm

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:As far as the title goes, do enough players know the ultra-minimal amount of Spanish needed to get the double meaning of Sin City?


I don't know enough Spanish to know what that means, unfortunately, but I think it might work.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
Extension

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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Thu May 17, 2018 6:22 pm

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:
Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:As far as the title goes, do enough players know the ultra-minimal amount of Spanish needed to get the double meaning of Sin City?


I don't know enough Spanish to know what that means, unfortunately, but I think it might work.


https://translate.google.com/#es/en/sin%20city%3F
Last edited by Ab Humanitatis Scientiam on Thu May 17, 2018 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Ab Humanitatis Scientiam
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Postby Ab Humanitatis Scientiam » Fri May 18, 2018 8:53 am

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:Description: For the last few decades, the famous unincorporated territory and tourist destination of "The Stripe" has used an adjacent city's services rather than make its own. After a major fight between one of the many gangs and the city's police officers, the mayor has decided to try to annex them.


Make the mooching more explicit -- specify which of the city's services are being stolen. City's recycling centers are overflowing with used casino chips, or City's homeless shelters are filled with bankrupt gambling addicts, or...something.

Also, "City" needs a proper name.

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Jutsa
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Postby Jutsa » Fri May 18, 2018 12:24 pm

Just wanted to mention that I love "Sin City". That's a really good name imo.

"Sins City" would be slightly better imo but both work.
Last edited by Jutsa on Fri May 18, 2018 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Fri May 18, 2018 1:12 pm

I think after all of this time those brackets must stay in the actual submission. They have become time-honoured.
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=513597&p=39401766#p39401766
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Fri May 18, 2018 3:34 pm

Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:Make the mooching more explicit -- specify which of the city's services are being stolen. City's recycling centers are overflowing with used casino chips, or City's homeless shelters are filled with bankrupt gambling addicts, or...something.

Also, "City" needs a proper name.


Specified emergency services & gave the city the name of Les Prés, which is based off of Las Vegas (both mean about the same thing, albeit in different languages).

Chan Island wrote:I think after all of this time those brackets must stay in the actual submission. They have become time-honoured.


Which brackets?
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Sat May 19, 2018 12:08 am

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:
Ab Humanitatis Scientiam wrote:Make the mooching more explicit -- specify which of the city's services are being stolen. City's recycling centers are overflowing with used casino chips, or City's homeless shelters are filled with bankrupt gambling addicts, or...something.

Also, "City" needs a proper name.


Specified emergency services & gave the city the name of Les Prés, which is based off of Las Vegas (both mean about the same thing, albeit in different languages).

Chan Island wrote:I think after all of this time those brackets must stay in the actual submission. They have become time-honoured.


Which brackets?


The ones in your title of course. You've had some there from the beginning.
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=513597&p=39401766#p39401766
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:41 pm

Made some small edits.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
Extension

User avatar
Shwe Tu Colony
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Posts: 4827
Founded: Sep 27, 2016
Democratic Socialists

Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Mon Jun 18, 2018 10:22 pm

Made some small edits.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
Extension

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Fri Jul 20, 2018 3:51 pm

Bump.
Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
Extension

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Chan Island
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Postby Chan Island » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:07 am

Shwe Tu Colony wrote:Bump.


Submit it already! It's fine!
viewtopic.php?f=20&t=513597&p=39401766#p39401766
Conserative Morality wrote:"It's not time yet" is a tactic used by reactionaries in every era. "It's not time for democracy, it's not time for capitalism, it's not time for emancipation." Of course it's not time. It's never time, not on its own. You make it time. If you're under fire in the no-man's land of WW1, you start digging a foxhole even if the ideal time would be when you *aren't* being bombarded, because once you wait for it to be 'time', other situations will need your attention, assuming you survive that long. If the fields aren't furrowed, plow them. If the iron is not hot, make it so. If society is not ready, change it.

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Shwe Tu Colony
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Postby Shwe Tu Colony » Sat Jul 21, 2018 9:31 pm

Chan Island wrote:
Submit it already! It's fine!


Yes, I suppose I shall.

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Cherissime amis! Behold, Shwe Tu Colony/World Machine/WoMac, the paracosm of a spoiled brat, taking everything, sparing nothing, mingling the childhood incroyable with the angst of a young man.
Current status: university rules are just a suggestion
"The summer grass is getting in the way"
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Sacara
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Postby Sacara » Sat Jul 21, 2018 9:45 pm

Good luck! This has been up for awhile.
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Postby Australian rePublic » Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:25 pm

Well, good luck!
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