World Bowl XXXV (35)- Everything Thread

[Alenburg]

OUR BOYS REMAIN STANDING!


That was the tittle from Loirgrunzodd Herald Sports Section

Our Falken losed their first two World Bowl games in a row as welcoming to their first competition losing 30-7 against Alpine Union and 15-0 against Free Republics nations who have a lot of experience on the WB the Alenburgian and Falken QB Michael Robertson said this on the post game press conference after ESPN Alenburg interviewer asked:

Espn Interviewer:"After been defeated twice in a row and coming after a 30-7 lossed match is the morale of the team lower like never before?

Michael Robertson:"(Laughs) let me laugh about that question with all the respect that you deserve as a professional but..we remain standing! on this competition you are playing against the biggest teams of the world,teams that worked hard to be here thanks to their talents and their performances and teams in the case of our games against Alpine Union and Free Republics they teached us huge lessons,lessons than we are learning,if Alenburg remains standing,we remain standing we are going to prepare for our upcoming game against Barunia and we will be ready for anything thank you very much


With that kind of answer are there teams and even some Alenburgians thinking that our head is down? i doubt it!

Archibald Koeetze (Loirgrunzodd Herald Sporst Section Writer)

"

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON II PREVIEW - THE TEAMS, PART TWO

Hello once again, friends and fellow fans in gridiron football. Today, we will take on the second part of my Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League Season 2 preview, where we will tackle the six remaining teams we have yet to discuss in our preview. My previews, as you can see from the previous part, will focus mostly on the players in the team and any potential stars among their new additions through the PGSL Draft as well as some trades between the teams. But enough about introductions; let's get into our teams!

KESSELBURGER KESTRELS

Here comes the second expansion team to play in the PGSL. As you can see, the ownership consortium behind the Kesselburg team has finally settled upon Kestrels as the team name, and they've also settled upon a green, yellow and white color scheme for the team, a color scheme which calls to mind the Dorfdifving Destroyers of the Fleftic National League of American Football (or FNLAF for short). As for the team itself, they have decided to focus on offense, drafting four outright offensive players and picking up two players that can play both offense and defense in the PGSL Draft. Lycrabon's Andrew Parker will undoubtedly be the focus of this Kestrels team, while Terentiy Mazarevskiy and Maha Patel will serve as Parker's wide receivers. Kesselburg also picked up Kulvir Kapai and Jiarra Kenderson-Reeves as their defensive core, and this team honestly looks like they could challenge for a playoff seed if things go right for them. That's a big if, though.

MACARESTI GLADIATORS

An altogether solid team, Macaresti is one one of those teams who despite having played just one season in the PGSL are already giving off the impression that they are just a handful of players away from being able to break into the top four of the PGSL or even maybe challenging for the Pridnestrovian Bowl. Now wouldn't that be something for the people of Macaresti to celebrate. The problem though lies in identifying the Gladiators' weaknesses and addressing them. Anastas Yermolenko is a reliable quarterback, most of the time. But when Yermolenko is off his game, boy is he off his game. Perhaps a backup quarterback to pick up the slack would serve Macaresti best, but that is not what they have done in the offseason. And looking at their additions through the draft, I wouldn't feel too optimistic if I was a Gladiators fan. Sure, Faina Drees could become one of the better tight ends in the league come the end of the season, and Matt Cohen could very well become sack leader, but I recommend the people of Macaresti to not get their hopes up too much. I merely report the truth, comrades.

NOVONIKOLAYSK SHARKS

Now with a brand new logo that doesn't look like it's been hastily drawn by a fine arts student!

It is pretty telling, just by looking at the Sharks' draft picks, why they are the bottom league of the PGSL and why they look like they will continue to be that way until a miracle finally happens to them and they all improve stratospherically, or more likely their team folds. Well, I say more likely but apparently the people of Novonikolaysk are masochists and love to watch their team lose time and time again (while Novonikolaysk have some of the lowest league attendance averages, they do have the record for highest percentage of seats occupied inside the stadium, so make of that what you will). Most of the Sharks' draft picks are merely improvements to their offensive and defensive lines; there is nary an eligible receiver in sight. Cortez Amoroso remains the brightest spot in this Sharks team, but aside from him, it's a very dim prospect for the future for the gridiron fans of Novonikolaysk (which is probably what they like anyway).

RHEINBURG SPARTANS

Ah, finally, the unfortunate finalists of the first ever Pridnestrovian Bowl. That's an honor that everyone knows will never be taken away from them, but the Spartans are so humble that they prefer not to even mention the fact that they were in the first Pridnestrovian Bowl with Dinamo Bender. About the only Rheinburg player who could possibly want to recall Pridnestrovian Bowl I is Hieronymus Saller, and even then he didn't have a good game (by his usual PGSL standards). But there's no doubting that both Saller and Grzegorz Kimmich are the core of this Spartans team, and Rheinburg will be very well served to build around them. It appears that they've already begun to do that in the draft, with Abanhfleft's Desiderius Erasmus Mondragon looking more and more like an absolutely wise defensive investment for the Spartans while Philamer Isle's Christopher Jericho could really light up the league in yards and catches. Watch out for the Spartans; they could very well get their revenge soon.

SHERIFF TIRASPOL

The second capital team in the PGSL finally appears to be previewed by me. Sheriff Tiraspol is a team much like the Macaresti Gladiators that appear like they could go a long way with the addition of a few players while at the same time look like a team that is bound to go nowhere except mid-table mediocrity. But don't let Sheriff fans hear that, not after their other football team successfully defended their title in the Pridnestrovian Super League, thus giving them their license to be the smug bastards that they've always wanted to be. But real talk about their gridiron team, though, it's most probably gonna take more than just a few players to elevate this Sheriff squad to an actual playoff contender team. The key, I feel, will be to not rely solely on Iliya Tonev to mastermind all of their offenses. Ravi Haradas could just be what they needed in their defense, though. And Kanada Srivastav will do well to give Tonev at least one more offensive option than he has at the moment, which isn't much.

YERALENKO TORPEDOES

And last but not the least (at least not the very least even in terms of last year's PGSL regular season table), we have the Torpedoes of Yeralenko. And I know that I have already said this many times for many teams, but this time for Yeralenko I genuinely mean it: this is a team that is really just a few players away from vastly improving themselves. Sure, their draft class of 2023 leaves a little bit more to be desired, but I really feel like they've established themselves a solid base on which to build on. Getting Vijay Kashyap in the first round certainly helps their cause loads. And Lee Jonghwa "Jeffrey" will do well alongside Maxine Stone as the Torpedoes' new core of young players. Because, let's face it, while Janusz Kedzierski is still good now, he's not getting any younger, and he's the kind of quarterback who actually gets a little bit worse with age rather than better. So get Jeffrey into the team, build some chemistry around him and Maxine, and get this Torpedoes team off the ground!

And that does it for my preview of the 2023-24 PGSL season, or Season 2 if I may say so. For the next few parts, we will be reviewing the season as it passes us by, but don't be surprised if you find some World Bowl thoughts in my blog posts or generally posts about life in Pridnestrovia in general. With that said, comrades, take care, and До свидания.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY TWO

Abanhfleft              10 10 13  7  40
The Frozen Forest        0  3  6  0  9

Now that's more like it from the boys! Well, sure, it was against an unranked team, but I don't care. Nobody can burst my bubble now! It's time to party with the Keanes now!

But on a more serious note, this win was vital for the morale of the Armored Revolutionaries. After the absolute mess that was the game against Lisander, it was an offensive showing like this that our boys really needed to get back in their groove. No matter the opposition, victory always feels so good, and I am sure that the boys in blue, orange and green will agree with me on that.

On to the game itself, then. We won the coin toss and elected to receive, and Talib Wahhad's return to our 30-yard line put us in an excellent field position on which to start our drive. Harrison Aumann then worked his magic and got us all the way to the red zone, and although at first it seemed as if our advance had stalled and we would have to settle for a field goal, but then a handoff play to Von Colone got us just enough yards to earn a new set of downs, and then a flea flicker to Saddam Hussain ensured that Abanhfleft would finish out their first drive with a touchdown score with added PAT.

The Frozen Forest then went three-and-out on their first possession, meaning Abanhfleft got possession back of the ball after only three minutes. This time though, we were unable to get to the end zone but Cleveland Hyneman, looking to make up for missing that game-winning field goal against Lisander, kicked the pigskin between the uprights from 33 yards away to put us Fleftics 10-0 up at the end of the first quarter. It was more of the same thing in the second quarter, although this time the Frozen Foresters managed to get a field goal from 40 yards before it was our turn to score a 27-yard FG. Yet another three-and-out followed, and then Aumann made a 16-yard pass to Von Colone for Abanhfleft's second touchdown.

After that, it was really just a bunch of field goals in the third quarter, with one touchdown for Saddam Hussain in the tail end of the third and then one more TD for Denis Nguyen to start off the fourth quarter, by which time the game had been well and truly in the bag for Abanhfleft. This should set us up nicely for our coming match against Starblaydia, whom we have failed to beat in the World Cup (I still believe that we should have lost against Audioslavia because we literally have a better chance of winning the Cup of Harmony than the World Cup itself right now). But as this is the first time (in a long time, I believe, or quite possibly ever) that Starblaydia is participating in gridiron football, it does throw up all sorts of possibilities. Who knows, maybe we might even win this one. Fingers crossed, as always, but I've come to expect nothing from our team when it comes to big games like this. Agata Mashir, Agata Mashir, Agata Mashir....

[Vangaziland]

Vangaziland Faces Toughest Team In Group

The Vangaziland Royals are starting off their season with a tough 3 game stretch. They faced #20 Anthor in game 1, taking the victory 13-7. In the second game, the Royals face #3 Velstrania at home. After that, Vangaziland will face #14 United States of Devonta. Each team outranks the Royals who are at 25th.

"This early stretch will help set the tone for our entire season", said Coach Kenton Tillford before game 2. "It was great to steal the first game, but now we're playing in the stadium of one of the world's best teams. We have to keep things close tonight. We can't lose our momentum, no matter what they throw at us."

Vangaziland got off to a good start with their first drive. They sold the run early, before gaining yardage by going to the TE twice from I-form passes. The Royals were not scared to pass from I-Form, even after sending Skog into the line from HB time after time in the same set. Great blocking in the red zone gave Filip Skog enough space to turn on his jets. The speed back picked up a 12 yard TD run to give Vangaziland first blood.

After that, things quieted down for Vangaziland. The coverage tightened up on the Vannish recievers. Bundison would throw an interception on his second drive. He'd throw two picks in the night, his second coming in the 4th quarter. Velstrania did a better job of breaking up the Vannish pocket than Anthor. Bundison found himself dipping out of the pocket to throw it away, far more often than game 1. He was sacked 4 times, a substantial number for the strong Vannish line to allow.

The Royals would add two field goals including one 48 yard attempt. Luckily the wind was on his side as Antonio Herrera caught it with all his foot. Herrera is a former soccer player from Barnicea, the Vannish Empire's Esportivan territory. He has played an influential role in these first two games, going 4/5. He has played a part in keeping the Vannish scoreline to -3. The Royals would be much worse off without 12 points through the uprights.

"Standing in third after facing two of the tougher teams is not a bad place to be", said QB Dan Bundison. "Anthor is ranked higher than us now, after beating North Prarie. But we just came off a close game against Velstrania and a win against Anthor themselves.We need to keep pushing through this first half of the season before really lighting up the second half."

Skog had the best game for the Vannish offense with 98 yards and his TD. Bundison threw for a meager 147 yards, with 50 of those split between the team's tight end's. Bergum was the main target from the air, but dropped several passes. He finished with 72 yards. Bergum failed to gain an advantage over his coverage, gaining few yards after the catch.

Vangaziland would fall 22-13. The Vannish defense would fight hard to keep Velstrania under control, but the opponents managed to get by. The Vannish defense could only put pressure on the opposing QB several times. It was more of a containment sort of defense, with the field spread to guard against the top team's multiple threats.

Dan Skaar had a chance for a big interception early in the 4th. It might have shifted momentum if it were successful. He cut off his reciever's route, leaping on the run up. He clearly went for the catch but bungled it. The ball fell precariously and was almost caught by the WR in recovery mode. "It was a big deflection", Skaar said, "but we needed the interception at that point. I need to keep getting oppurtunities like that. One will fall."

The pass was slightly off target because of pressure bought by Chris Ingebritson on a safety blitz. It marked the first and only time the Royals sent their safety across the line. Ingrebritson is 6'1 210 and not afraid to crash through the bigger line. "It's all about following the blocks", Chris said. "It's about getting that jump and sprinting through the opening." Chris hit the QB after they released the pass.

"We'll show up ready to face them in the season's second half", said Coach Tillford. "It'll be a home game. We should be warmed up and in our flow by then. It will come down to execution. We need to have more than just a game plan, we have to play well."

Ratings for games 1 and 2 of World Bowl XXXV are up 12% in Vangaziland. It shows Gridiron is growing in popularity across the Vannish Empire. The pressure is on the Royals to provide an exciting product that will draw in the masses. At the moment, International lacrosse garners higher ratings. Gridiron is not in position to challenge basketball as Vangaziland's most popular sport. It also pulls similar numbers to soccer, which is also struggling for a market share.

Many are expected to watch the Royals face their third challenge against the United States of Devonta. It should prove to be another tough match for the ambitious Royals.

[Free Republics]

Sporting World

World Bowl XXXV: Free Republics beat Alenburg 16-0 in Masterpiece as Losers Protest "Sexism" Outside Stadium
by: Henriette Lecuyer

The logo worn by the protesters on their shirts (OOC: This logo was made by North Prarie.)

Living legend Jak Hamilton continued his magical ride off into the sunset last night as the Free Republics defeated Alenburg by an emphatic 16-0 scoreline. On a night where Alenburg was constitutionally incapable of reaching scoring position, I watched my boyfriend Wibe Rus pick apart the Alenburg defense with a steady diet of screens, shovel passes and curls. Wibe completed 41 out of 44 passes for 183 yards and even scored a touchdown on a quarterback sneak late in the 3rd quarter that put the game out of reach. Alenburg's quarterback Michael Robertson showed alot of guts, getting up over and over again despite being sacked 10 times and their running back Adam Mccafrey kept running right into Big Mo Henderson but just kept getting back up for more.

The major story of this game was Coach Hamilton's response to criticism from many that he'd run the ball too much in the week 1 victory over the Equestrian States. Coach Hamilton responded with a unique passing gameplan that utilized the pass as if it was a run. This allowed Coach Hamilton to take pressure off of his run game which had seen a heavy workload in the World Bowl opener. Over the course of the game, however, the offense managed to routinely stall in the red zone which meant that Dean Kevin was brought in time and again to kick field goals. He booted 4 of them on the day, the longest of which was a 38 yarder as time ran out in the first half to give the Free Republics a 6 to nothing lead at the half. Ultimately, Kevin would kick a field goal in each quarter and Wibe Rus would add a touchdown run at the end of the 3rd quarter that capped a 15 play 62 yard drive.

The WOLF TV coverage of the game reportedly focused a large amount of attention on a few hundred losers outside of the stadium who were wearing those grotesquely ugly "Stand Up to Sexism" shirts and holding signs with messages like "#JakHamMustGo", "Punt Sexism Out of Football" and "#BoycottFootball". I talked to a few of these idiots on the way out of the stadium and asked them why they were so angry. They told me that Coach Hamilton's remarks during his postgame interview with Theresa Dillon were "sexist" and that women make up just 5% of college football players and less than 1% of pro football players therefore football is "sexist". Personally, I don't buy their logic at all or see why we should respect them.

Let's start with the obvious: I'm a woman and I don't want to play football. I have never wanted to play football. Why would I want to get hurt and potentially risk my pretty little head? That's what men are for! Women should be treated like goddesses and be allowed to do as much or as little work as we want to because men were created to take care of us! Its outrageous that there are some who seem to think that we belong in a dangerous sport like football or even on the baseball diamond or the wrestling ring (and no I will never #BoycottWrestling just because some guy got fired over his girl's lack of manners). I'm not offended by anything that Coach Hamilton said. In fact, I agree with him 100%. I am, however, offended by this notion that gender distinctions should be abolished. I like the fact that men and women are different and I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a male cheerleader just as no decent man would be attracted to a female quarterback. Women just don't belong in football, even if countries like Cassadaigua recklessly endanger their women by letting them play international football.

Besides, what is wrong with those people? Why can't they just chill out, drink a few cans of Dixon Light and enjoy the football game like everybody else in Plymouth? Why do they have to be "activists" and run around trying to change things? I like things just the way they are, thank you, and I don't appreciate anybody who runs around trying to change them. That's why I don't vote and I don't pay any attention to politics or any news whatsoever. Besides, the only reason why I'm even working right now is because my boyfriend and Coach Hamilton asked me to so that they wouldn't be covered by some moronic trollop who hates Ren Rep football. Well, like it or not, We Are Ren Rep and We Are the Free Republics National Team and We Are going to continue doing things our way because we play to win, not to entertain those with no attention span!

Henriette Lecuyer is Sporting World's new football correspondent. A graduate of the Ren Rep University School of Journalism, Henriette was a cheerleader for the Ren Rep football team for 4 years and was the captain of the team during her senior year. She is currently dating Wibe Rus.

[Ko-oren]

Holy Overtime

Ko-oren 13–13 Cosumar (26–23 OT)

Gridiron in the domestic league doesn't mind the occasional tie. Internationally, they want a winner. And we saw this in the Ko-oren versus Cosumar game - the once-heavyweights in the Dragonflies and the current heavyweights of the Azure Dragons. This match was hyped from the start, though the first four quarters didn't exactly deliver.

Brandon Reiger, veteran quarterback, led the Azure Dragons to the endzone just once on a long 40-yard completion to Kuyengall. Reiger further arm-punted the ball for an interception to Sterrenwolde's Peter Dollen: thrown from the midway line, picked off on the Ko-orenite 7. The Cosumarite offence, normally a great unit, had all kinds of trouble against our defence, most notably the secondary. Dollen had an interception, Nijdekker, Manoury, and Aohumin combined for 10 batted passes, and Lansink had a dropped pick off a throw into no-mans-land. That is more or less the Cosumarite offence in a nutshell, in the first 60 minutes. Two field goals landed them 13 points in total, Alan Highsmith kicked the game-tying FG with less than a minute on the clock.

Ko-oren, meanwhile, had a longer time of possession with the usual clock-controlling offence. Robin Reeman started the game, as Kirilun Merolidhothen was still feeling the effects from a bad game and a few hits. Reeman passed for 301 yards, breaking the 300-yard mark on his last pass as time expired. All in all, he had 25 completions on 40 attempts, and of those 25 catches, only 4 went for more than 20 yards. Most went to Tharadhen and Pwlh in one of the many two TE sets. In the backfield, Thorebourne added 82 yards to an overall 136-yard running game. Reeman passed to a wide-open Tharadhen for the opening TD, but after that, any drive stalled in the red zone. Perell yRhiddeg kicked two field goals in the second half to give Ko-oren the lead each time (10-7 and 13-10).

If you thought that that was going to be the story of the game - moderately successful offences stalling in the red zone, then going for field goals - you'd be wrong. Because internationally, they REALLY hate ties. We're not quite sure what the overtime rules are, but it didn't end after the 13-13 was on the scoreboard at zero seconds left.

The first period of overtime started. By this point, some players that were in for a lot of snaps were substituted with minor injuries, Thorebourne was one such player. Robertson was the main running back for the remainder of the game. Tharadhen and Pwlh were both replaced, by Goudveld and Cazal, even though they had already gotten several snaps in the fourth quarter. On the defence, no starting linebacker went back out for overtime. Cosumar won the toss, and elected to receive. On the first two snaps, they lost yardage, but on the third, Reigner threw a long completion to Talaat, continuing the Cosumar drive from the own 20. This pattern would repeat itself until finally, Vicar ran the ball for a touchdown midway through the period. The fullback misled the defence by taking the snap himself, and while the defence rolled right to meet Perrantes, Vicar went left, beat Brunenberg, and put Cosumar up 20-13. According to some rules, the game would have ended there, without giving the other team the option to take to the field.

Reeman came out, and hit Lokaguthen for a 15 yard gain on an in route on a dagger play, the entire middle of the field vacated. Reeman then passed to Whitlock on a post route, with three deep routes versus a cover two, and Ko-oren were set up neatly on the Cosumar half. The next two plays would go for 2 and 4 yards, then Robertson was given the ball for a 30-yard run. Back in the red zone, Reeman wasn't going to give in easily. On first and 10, he took the snap, dropped back, looked around, then ran through the middle of the line for 5 yards. With the clock ticking down, 2nd and 5, he hit Wennes for a 6 yard completion on the sidelines, stopping the clock. On a three-back set, Galway carried the ball for a three-yard touchdown, and the score was back to 20-20. In the remaining minutes of the first overtime period, both teams exchanged field goals on short drives (Cosumar hitting a field goal of 42 yards, Ko-oren succeeding on a 47-yard field goal) for a 23-23 score as the first OT period ran out.

Cosumar came out, and on the first play, handed the ball to Øygard who had been solid all game, but got dog-piled by most of the Ko-orenite defensive line. The ball rolled out and was picked up by Ezekiel. Video reviews showed that the ball came out before Øygard hit the ground - fumble forced and recovered by Ko-oren. The next three plays went nowhere but took 1:50 off the clock, then yRhiddeg kicked a 23-yard field goal for the 26-23 lead. As explosive as overtime was, and given how long it took, the game ended on an anticlimactic 26-23 as both offences went nowhere on the final 6 drives of the game, and both offences giving up the ball once more in a promising position. Reeman cleanly passed to Sneijder as if he was a Ko-orenite receiver, and Reigner completed his nightmarish evening with a second pass to Dollen, who was waiting in coverage all night. It's not always that a free safety comes up with the ball twice in one night, but Dollen delivered on his ballhawk status and pretty much gave the Dragonflies the win. A win for the defence, even if that defence coughed up 23 points.

[Jebslund]

Jebslund World Ball Team Disappoints!
With two straight losses, can Jebslund's "finest" recover?

It has been a disappointing first time in the World Bowl for Jebslund's Kerthenia-style football fans as the Jebslund Jagerhunde lost two games in a row, managing only one measly field goal in each game to stave off a complete shutout. So far, none of the players on the team have returned any calls from any of our staff here at the Sportler, however, we were able to get a quote from the head coach, Großerchef Kerman.

"Our team is as disappointed as our fans at the losses. The Jagerhunde are hard at work training for the next game, and the team staff are reviewing footage of the previous games, as well as all footage on the other teams they can get hold of in order to not only learn from our mistakes, but also to learn from the other teams in the World Bowl. As such, most of us won't be available for comment in the coming weeks as we focus our time on preparations. Thank you." - Großerchef Kerman, Head Coach of the Jebslund Jagerhunde.

As the team works on its strategy and gameplay, we here at the Sportler are wondering what we're sure many of our readers are: Is it possible for the Jagerhunde to pull out of this flatspin? Should they just bail out, work on their gameplay without worrying about winning, and try it again next year? Time will certainly tell, but this writer thinks the answer to that question is, "Bail out!". You guys have lost both games you've played in. Several of the other teams are undefeated. You're an unranked little fish in a pond full of sharks. By all means, keep training hard! Keep studying the enemy! Keep learning from your blunders! But, by the Krakken's infinite appetite, don't worry about trying to win the whole thing! You're a new team! Just play the best y'all can, pump as much Gedupango into your improvement as your airframe'll stand, and put on a good enough show to get tourists in the StuGville stadium and snacking on all the wonderful snacks Jebslund has to offer.

Which reminds me: Today's featured Imbissmeister is Die Glückliche Ratte, which specialises in stadium fare. Ever since Jebslund's participation in NSSCRA 6, tourists who went to the Sherpa Empire have wanted to bring back a wonderful Guilin local specialty they had: Roasted rat. Now, as you readers, particularly fans of racing, know, one pair in particular, the brothers Maxwell Kerman and Folger Kerman, had several breeding pairs imported to begin a rat farm. Several months of careful farming, imports of more breeding pairs, and vet bills later, the brothers had developed a new snacking sensation that swept the nation's sporting fans! From their humble beginnings of Guilin-style roast rats, new flavors have been being introduced constantly, such as Teriyaki, Bier und Limette, Speck-Ranch, and, most recently, Jet-Auspuff, a spicy smoked barbeque flavor for the boldly adventurous. When you folks out there get hungry during the big game or race, stop by a Die Glückliche Ratte booth and get a roasted rat! Welfare certified, so you know it's good and worth the money!

Writing for the Sportler, this has been Eva Kerman wishing you a lucky season!

[Union of Socialist Alpine Republics]

The Alpine Union blanks The Wolf Zones

The Wolf Zones - (NAP) After beating Alenburg 30-7, the Alpines travelled to The Wolf Zones to play against them. Like Alenburg, the Wolves are participating in their 1st world bowl. The Wolves won the coin toss and they choose to recieve but they had to punt after 3 plays. On their 1st drive, the Bisons only made 3 points, thanks to a 41 yards field goal by Crockett Burkhead. Early in the 2nd quarter, the Alpines are stopped at the 47 yards line in Wolf territory and had to punt. It was a well executed punt by Nick Larsen, the Wolves gets the ball at their own 2 yards line. On a 2nd and 10, Wolf #8 is sacked into the end zone by Nick Knox and it's a safety! The Reprezentacja Alpejski are leading 5-0. On the next drive, Barkevious Hawkins runs into the end zone and it's a 9 yards rushing touchdown for the Alpines! The score is now 12-0 and it's the halftime.

The Bisons starts with the ball in the 3rd quarter but they had to punt. The Wolves also had to punt. On their 2nd drive of the 3rd quarter, the Bisons started with the ball at their own 38 yars line. Coconut Riddick ran for 6 yards. He ran for 1 yard. Clifford Jenkins passes to Demarcus Woods for 33 yards and the Alpines are in Wolf territory! 1st and 10 at the 23 yards line. Coconut Riddick runs for 3 yards. He runs for 3 yards again. Clifford Jenkins passes to Barkevious Hawkins for 15 yards. 1st and 10 at the 2 yards line. Coconut Riddick runs for 2 yards, touchdown Alpine Union and the score is 19-0! On their next drive, the Wolves had to punt after 3 plays. The Bisons also had to punt, and it was a very good punt again. The Wolves gets the ball at their own 12 yards line. Wolf #8 is sacked by Nick Knox for a loss of 9 yards. Wolf #22 runs for 1 yard. Wolf #8 is sacked into the endzone by Nehemiah Charles for another safety and the score is 21-0 Reprezentacja Alpejski! On the next drive, the Alpine Union is stopped at the 13 yard line in Wolf territory and had to make a field goal. 24-0! The Bisons makes another field goal in the 4th quarter and the final score is 27-0 Alpine Union!

The Alpine Union beat Alenburg and The Wolf Zones easily but the real test comes next week when the Bisons will be visiting the evil Republicans who beat Alenburg 16-0. Dawson Floyd will miss the game with a nose injury and 22 years old Roderick McShepard will take his spot in the formation. Floyd's injury happened on the special teams during a kickoff.

The Wolf Zones   0   0   0   0   -   0
Alpine Union     3   9   9   6   -  27

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
10:18 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (41 yards)

2ND QUARTER
12:46 - Safety by Nick Knox (Wolf #8 sacked into the endzone)
9:31 - Touchdown by Barkevious Hawkins (9 yards run). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.

3RD QUARTER
6:20 - Touchdown by Coconut Riddick (2 yards run). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.
0:49 - Safety by Nehemiah Charles (Wolf #8 sacked into the endzone)

4TH QUARTER
13:29 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (30 yards)
5:33 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead ( 26 yards)

[Allamunnic States]

Federation of Allamunnic States
National Gridiron Team - The Regulars

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- Injure Players: Nothing beyond game-ending without TGing for approval.
- Penalize Players: Keep it reasonable, or TG for approval. The Regulars tend to be fairly disciplined.
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Retired Number(s): #58 Honorius Waalturs
Ring of Honor Members: S#1 Isabelle Margussunn, QB#5 Markus Daalhulm, S#10 Elias Mourner, HB#34 Haanryk Stahlburg, FB#44 Ole Nurdsunn, DE#58 Honorius Waalturs, DT#95 Theo Laansur

(Regulars Uniforms (Home on Left, Road on Right))

Team Captains (Coin-Toss Purposes):
Offense: Torren Tormundsunn (FB)
Defense: Piotr Farrangur (DT)
Special Teams: Wyatt Skode (P)

Home Field: National Stadium, Roan-Ottonia Federal District (Capacity: 96,000) - The national municipal stadium, which plays host to all of the Federation's national teams across multiple sports, as well as Ottonia's AGL team. The stadium was first built in the 1950's, and has been refurbished, upgraded, expanded, and renovated twice since then. Still, it is, at bottom, an old-school stadium where the home team's accommodations are much nicer than the visiting ones, and fans will be comfortable, but probably not pampered. The stadium has a retractable roof, but the Regulars will usually play with it open, to take advantage of their comfort in the Allamunnic States' often-inclement weather.

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General Information

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Overview:

The Regulars are a bit odd for a national team organization. Where other nations field all-star teams from their national or amateur leagues, or send a proper professional team, the Regulars field a professional national team organization, composed of players recruited specifically for the national team who practice and play together year-round. Players are drawn from Allamunnic Gridiron League free agents and the odd draft prospect swayed away from the league. The players that tend to flock to the team tend to be cast-offs, second-chancers, and washouts who have talent but have otherwise reduced professional league prospects, at least traditionally. At this point, the team has acquired a good enough reputation that players at certain positions, who might otherwise face reduced draft prospects in the domestic league, will go to the national team despite being plenty talented. This tends to happen most along the lines on both sides of the ball; there are a lot of Allamunnic linemen, offensive and defensive, that have made a name for themselves on the national team. There is also a great deal of institutional loyalty: a lot of players, once recruited, will spend a large chunk of their careers on the team.

The Regulars tend to lack exceptionally-fast players; though not a slow team by any means, they lack exceptional team speed (mostly on the offense), and instead have to rely on a power-based offense. On defense, because of the unit's reputation, the team has an easier time recruiting better athletes. The team's greatest strengths are cohesion (borne from long tenures and lots of time spent playing together) and discipline. While not athletically-deficient, the Regulars are not going to overwhelm opponents with superior athleticism or speed.

This is the team's 28th World Bowl competition (its first being World Bowl VII), and during that nearly 30-year span, the Regulars have won by far the most championships of any team in World Bowl history (six, at World Bowls XVI, XVII, XIX, XXIII, XXV, and XXVII) in seven finals appearances (all six wins, plus an unsuccessful finals berth at World Bowl XVIII, part of a stretch in which the Regulars went to the finals four consecutive years). As such, this is a team with a proud tradition and high expectations: any year in which the Regulars fail to advance to the World Bowl semifinals is considered at least a disappointment.

Front Office & General Staff

Commissioner: Benjamin Jamesunn (Age: 72) - Following the brief, tumultuous, and, to a lesser extent, disastrous tenure of Gaarutt Kolvyn as Allamunnic Sporting Commissioner for the duration of World Bowl XXXI, long-time Allamunnic National Gridiron Team executive and administrator Benjamin Jamesunn was selected by the Board as the next Commissioner. Jamesunn has a strong grasp of the practices that have long enabled the National Gridiron Team to be successful, and has pledged a return to the patient approach that has yielded six championships since World Bowl XVI.

General Manager: Erik Warnur (Age: 55)
Director of Player Personnel: Anna Torrensunn (Age: 47)

Team Doctors:
Graagur Maarkussunn (Age: 67), Rynna Eriksunn (Age: 60), Daanyl Waalturs (Age: 47), Grenna Wyllur (Age: 37), Joanna Kaarbrynn (Age: 37),

Athletic Trainers:
Maarda Lindersunn (Age: 50), Bryndyn Nyurdlunn (Age: 49), Torren Udunsunn (Age: 45), Kaarl Mendelsunn (Age: 46), Inna Wyllur (Age: 43), Olaf Knutsunn (Age: 44), Maura Kaarlsunn (Age: 42), Kyl Maatysunn (Age: 40), Lyna Henriksunn (Age: 38), Shae Eriklunn (Age: 34)

Strength & Conditioning Staff:
Harald Vynnsunn (Age: 48), Junna Riktur (Age: 43), Aelus Morden (Age: 45)

Coaching Staff

Head Coach & Coordinators
Head Coach: Baeryk Vaalburger (Age: 59) - This team is still under the leadership of long-time Regulars' head coach Baeryk Vaalburger. Vaalburger led the team to championship victory at World Bowls XXIII, XXV, and XXVII, but has had a less-accomplished tenure since then. In pursuit of revitalizing the team after a poor finish at World Bowl XXXII, Vaalburger has shaken down the defense, parting ways with several long-time starters, and working to bring the offense back to its power-first basics. He did it once, now, Allamunnic fans are hoping he can do it again.

Offensive Coordinator: Rikard Olafsunn (Age: 54) - The team's head coach at World Bowl XXXI returns as the Regulars' offensive coordinator, charged with taking the Allamunnic offense back to basics, to wind games with a grinding, power-geared attack, with odd wrinkles thrown in to keep opponents off balance. There's indications he might have found a muse in back-up quarterback Rowan Daanyls, but any fruit of that rash of scheming has yet to see the light of day.

Defensive Coordinator: Ryan Smart (Age: 51) - The team's head coach from World Bowl's XII through XXII, Ryan Smart returned after World Bowl XXXI to take up defensive coordinator duties. Smart is adaptable and aggressive in his play-calling, happy to change his approach to suit his personnel, and, as usual, the defense should hold up its end of the bargain in the Regulars' game plan.

Special Teams Coordinator: Phillipa Demirici (Age: 57) - Phillipa Demirici was a career-long Regular as a kicker, and since her retirement from playing, as a coach. Phillipa took over the coordinator job after the retirement of long-time coordinator Daanyl Mueller, and acquitted herself well enough to keep the job. The Regulars' special teams should continue to be capable under Demirici.

Quarterbacks Coach: Maarkus Daalhulm (Age: 51)
Running Backs Coach: Haanryk Staalburg (Age: 50)
Tight Ends Coach: Zak Hall (Age: 43)
Wide Receivers Coach: Mikel Dunn (Age: 52)
Offensive Line Coach: Hanrik Wurfytur (Age: 48)
Offensive Line Assistant Coach: Vaalhulm Rikken (Age: 42)
Defensive Line Coach: Theodur Laansur (Age: 50)
Defensive Line Assistant Coach: Archie Wagner (Age: 47)
Linebackers Coach: Miles Ryan (Age: 49)
Linebackers Assistant: Jason Ridley (Age: 49)
Defensive Backs Coach: Andrik Ierunmungur (Age: 49)
Defensive Backs Assistant: Leif Coelmunn (Age: 42)
Kicking Coach: Phillipa Demirici (Age: 56)
Returners Coach: Gretchen Vaalhulmsunn (Age: 43)

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The Team

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Offense

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Overview:

The Regulars’ offense is boring. It’s not an insult, it’s by design. The Regulars utilize a fairly simple base offense, which can have wrinkles added or removed from it as necessary based on match-ups. At its heart, the Allamunnic offense is built on the power running game, and most of its best work is going to happen between the tackles.

The team’s personnel lends itself to doing its work on the power run game, forcing opponents to load the box against the Regulars, then relying on the strong arm of quarterback Graagur Wyrth to gash the defense on deep throws. Still, it’s a power offense in the truest sense of the term: the offense wins by overpowering opponents at the point of attack; Torren Tormundsunn (who primarily plays fullback, but will also line up as a tight-end or tailback) basically never comes off the field, and it’s rare for the Regulars to line up without at least one tight-end. The offensive line is a veteran unit that has accumulated fantastic chemistry over the years, and has the depth to rotate constantly, keeping the unit fresh over the course of games.

Unless the team is playing from far behind for most of the game, the Regulars will tend to have a run-to-pass ratio approaching 2:1; if the team gets 60 offensive plays, expect between 30 and 40 runs to 10 to 20 passes. It’s a pretty conservative offense: expect passes to mostly either come on first down, or on third-and-long. Most of their plays will be run out of some variant of the I-formation, although two-tight-end Ace fronts are not unusual, and the Regulars are also known to break out pro sets, the wishbone, and the pistol.

Starting Line-Up (2-1-2 Personnel)

Players By Position

Quarterbacks:
#11 - Rowan Daanyls - QB - Age: 25; H: 6'0"; W: 192lbs
#15 - Junn Moerr - QB - Age: 28; H: 6'2"; W: 212lbs
#13 - Korynn Waalturs - QB - Age: 18; H: 5'9"; W: 160lbs

Rowan Daanyls takes over after Graagur Wyrth left the team for the AGL. Daanyls has a pro-caliber, but not elite arm; she can make all the throws she needs to, but loses zip and her tight spiral on deeper throws. Still, she's accurate on short and intermediate passes, and has decent touch on longer ones. She's quite mobile, capable of taking off running with no warning, and she can throw efficiently on the run. Junn Moerr has a stronger arm and isn't as fast as Daanyls, and is a little less efficient in protecting the ball; still, the similar skill sets mean the team can run the same offense with Moerr in as a back-up as it can with Daanyls. Korynn Waalturs has Daanyls' same skill set, but she's more raw and is very clearly a developmental prospect; the Regulars are in trouble if she has to play meaningful snaps for any extended period of time.

Halfbacks:
#24 - Derrik Staalburg - HB - Age: 21; H: 6’1”; W: 227lbs
#38 - Grenn Jordsunn - HB - Age: 24; H: 6’2”; W: 241lbs
#03 - Ryanna Mueller - HB - Age: 21; H: 5’10”; W: 175lbs

Derrik Staalburg is the son of former Regulars' tailback Haanryk Staalburg, and he inherited his father's sturdy build, straight-ahead burst, and powerful, downhill running style. Staalburg won't make many defenders miss, but he can move a pile and plow through lighter defenders, and he's liable to bust big runs given a little space. Grenn Jordsunn lacks Staalburg's burst, but is a pure power runner, able to punch in short yardage very reliably, and able to reel off solid gains on a reliable basis. He's not incapable of breaking longer runs, but he's not likely to win any track meets. By contrast, Ryanna Mueller is fast and shifty, at her best in space with the ball in her hands, whether it's on outside runs, screen passes, or catches out of the backfield. Definitely a complementary back rather than a workhorse.

Tight-Ends:
#45 - Torren Tormundsunn - FB/TE - Age: 31; H: 6'3"; W: 251lbs
#82 - Udun Jaarlsunn - TE - Age: 29; H: 6'6"; W: 261lbs
#85 – Godwyn Braanur – TE/WR - Age: 34; H: 6'6"; W: 240lbs
#81 - Theoden Jaans - WR/TE - Age: 20; H: 6’3”; W: 235lbs

Despite being listed with the tight-ends, Torren Tormundsunn lines up most often as a fullback, only shifting to tight-end under specific circumstances. Tormundsunn is a triple threat, able to run, catch, and block, although it's his talent for the last of those that makes him a household name among Regulars fans. He will generally not come off the field except for very specific personnel configurations. Udun Jaarlsunn is the team's leading regular tight-end. His main talent is in run blocking, in which he's practically a sixth lineman, but he's sure-handed and big bodied enough to be an effective, chain-moving possession receiver. Godwyn Braanur has shed weight to maintain his explosiveness as he's aged, and while he can still block competently, it's no longer the area of strength it once was. Instead, he plays mostly as a situational pass-catching tight-end, or even a wideout in certain personnel packages. He's still a credible deep threat and a very good receiver in traffic. Theoden Jaans is a large-framed, sure-handed pass-catcher who needs to work on his blocking, but should get some good snaps in the rotation.

Receivers:
#87 - Waldr Hoerst - WR/TE - Age: 31; H: 6'5"; W: 225lbs
#80 - Ole Haensley - WR - Age: 29; H: 6'2"; W: 206lbs
#83 - Harlyn Wyrnur - WR - Age: 26; H: 6’2”; W: 214lbs
#84 - Andya Haartly - WR - Age: 25; H: 6’0”; W: 163lbs

Waldr Hoerst is a large-framed, sure-handed wideout who lines up primarily as a split-end or, in some packages, as a tight-end. He's not a blistering vertical threat, but he can do damage deep on the right plays, and he's excellent at making contested catches. Ole Haensley is a well-rounded receiver who gets most of his looks at flanker, able to be effective on a wide variety of routes of all lengths, dangerous on longer throws or with the ball in his hands. Harlyn Wyrnur is essentially a younger, larger-framed version of Haensley, with essentially the same skill-set. In obvious passing situations, the two will man the wideout spots together. Andya Haartly is the fleetest of foot, agile receiver on the Regulars' roster, and is the team's truest deep threat. She gets a lot of looks out of the slot, although she can be a burner down the sideline when called for. Sure-handedness is prized among the Regulars' receivers, and so while Andya's not the greatest exemplar of that, she's still dangerous in traffic.

Left Tackles:
#75 - Bryndyn Kaarlsunn - LT - Age: 30; H: 6'6"; W: 322lbs
#78 - Rikard Waalburg - LT - Age: 24; H: 6'6"; W: 317lbs

Veteran book-end Bryndyn Kaarlsunn returns to anchor the blind-side. Kaarlsunn is at his best in pass protection, but he's also a capable mass-driver in the run-game, and he's also quite good at sealing off lanes of backside pursuit. Rikard Waalburg doesn't quite have Kaarlsunn's road-grading power, but he makes up for it with natural athleticism and quickness in pulling.

Left Guards:
#68 - Jorvik Staaghyrt - LG - Age: 29; H: 6'3"; W: 314lbs
#70 - Jormund Haagtynd - LG - Age: 24; H: 6'4"; W: 315lbs
#57 - Aldryk Mjorr - G/T - Age: 20; H: 6’4”; W: 301lbs

Jorvik Staaghyrt and Jormund Haagtynd are both capable guards who rotate quite freely. In terms of frame, weight, athletic ability, and strength, they are very similar, and both play with a nastiness that's useful as they help power the Regulars' running game. Aldryk Mjorr has the nastiness and it factor that the Regulars' coaches look for in their linemen, but he's committed enough rookie mistakes in training camp to be a solid second-fiddle to the Staaghyrt/Haagtynd duo, although he might get some looks at tackle in a pinch.

Center Guards:
#55 - Tyrrus Ungur - CG - Age: 29; H: 6'4"; W: 302lbs
#60 - Bryndyn Ulfsunn - CG - Age: 26; H: 6’3”; W: 314lbs

Tyrrus Ungur anchors the Regulars' offensive line, having developed a fantastic chemistry with Graagur Wyrth and, to a lesser extent, Rowan Daanyls. Ungur has the athletic chops and strength to do his part in driving the Regulars' running game and protecting passers. As the leader of the offensive line, Ungur also calibrates blocking schemes prior the snap, and is crucial to the line's success, but he'd be an excellent guard even without those abilities. Bryndyn Ulfsunn is a capable back-up with a varied skill-set, but, while not a liability, would represent a significant drop-off from Ungur if forced into the field for an extended period.

Right Guards:
#65 - Snaari Knutsunn - RG - Age: 31; H: 6'4"; W: 317lbs
#67 - Margus Brynnur - RG - Age: 25; H: 6’3”; W: 306lbs
#52 - Erik Tyrrsunn - G/T - Age: 20; H: 6’2”; W: 295lbs

Arguably the star of the Regulars' excellent offensive line is Snaari Knutsunn. Knutsunn plays with a berserker's fury and a technician's focus. He plays low, has the strength to blow even the strongest tackles off the ball, and has the heft and long arms to secure leverage both in the pass and run games. Knutsunn is a large part of why the Regulars' run game is so effective, whether he's leading run-side blocking, or if he's annihilating defenders a little too eager to follow a pulling guard, he's a menace to defensive linemen and would-be playmakers. Margus Brynnur is a competent guard, but represents a sharp drop-off in talent from a player as good as Knutsunn. Erik Tyrrsunn is already acquiring the nickname "Little Knut" for his ferocity and the similarity of his play style to Knutsunn; he needs to fill in a bit on his frame, but his future looks bright.

Right Tackles:
#50 - Baeryk Astyr - RT - Age: 28; H: 6'4"; W: 305lbs
#63 - Wilryk Braandur - RT - Age: 22; H: 6'5"; W: 323lbs

Baeryk Astyr is an athletic, strong tackle who plays with excellent leverage and a low pad level. He's a major force in the run game, is competent in pass protection, but is not so irreplaceable that he cannot rotate with his back-up. Wilryk Braandur has a little more natural heft to him, but is still well-rounded enough to acquit himself well in the variety of situations the Regulars' linemen are called upon to do battle in.

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Defense

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Overview:

The Regulars' defense has changed fronts yet again to deal with the fit in its personnel; there was a large purge of starters and veterans that leaves the Regulars more suited for the 3-4 than the 4-3. That said, the team's defensive front is, in many cases, cosmetic; using the same 11 personnel, the team can shift between both fronts, with Rush Linebacker Theodur Waalturs able to play as a linebacker or as a defensive end in a 5 or even 7 technique.

The linebacking corps is plenty capable, but the most experienced and dangerous areas of the Allamunnic defense are in the front and in the back; the defensive line is still manned by long-time starters Odyn Grahulm and defensive captain Piotr Farrangur, with Nyurd Svaartwynn filling the nosetackle position following the retirement of Rikard Theodur. In the secondary, ball-hawking corner Rikard Junnsunn has moved to free safety, while Bryndyn Witt and Anke Baenty will man the corner positions. Claetus U'Daanyl remains the roving defensive enforcer, able to play as a linebacker, as an outside blitzer, in coverage, or as a punishing last line of defense on deep plays.

Defensive signals will be called by the most-experienced remaining linebacker, Kaarl Voegyl, who has moved to man the middle linebacker spot. Expect a lot of blitzes and aggressive play out of the defense, and a lot of forced turnovers; the Regulars do sometimes give up big plays, but they tend to force most offenses to sputter between them, and they make sustained ball movement difficult.

While the 3-4 is the base front the Regulars will use, they can also shift to a 4-3 or even a 4-4 without changing personnel configurations. Rotation will be frequent in most cases unless noted otherwise, and the Regulars will break out nickel and dime packages on a situational basis.

Starting Line-Up (3-4 Base Front)

Players By Position

Defensive Ends:
#95 - Piotr Farrangur - DE - Age: 33; H: 6'6"; W: 298lbs
#66 - Odyn Grahulm - LDE - Age: 25; H: 6'4"; W: 310lbs
#59 - Theodur Waalturs - RDE - Age: 20; H: 6'3"; W: 271lbs
#76 - Olesunn Kriegur - DE - Age: 22; H: 6’3”; W: 304lbs

Defensive captain Piotr Farrangur returns for what might be his last go-round, his first without long-time partner-in-tackling Rikard Theodur. Farrangur is still a dangerous run-stuffer and pass-rusher, but he's moved onto the edge where his shedding weight is less of an issue. Farrangur might also see situational snaps at defensive tackle. Odyn Grahulm is a hard-nosed, run-stuffing terror on the defensive line; he doesn't tend to come off the field, and he plays more like a defensive tackle than a true defensive end. Theodur Waalturs is the son of Regulars' legend Honorius Waalturs, and has flashed similar amounts of pass-rushing prowess in his first two years on the team. Waalturs typically lines up as the weak-side end, playing as a pursuit man or pass-rusher. Ole Kriegur is a little more well-rounded, and tends to man the weak-side end slot on more obvious running downs.

Defensive Tackles:
#91 - Baard Ulryk - NT - Age: 24; H: 6’4”; W: 334lbs
#74 - Joran Haargrave - DT - Age: 25; H: 6'3"; W: 318lbs
#93 - Harald Baaltrlunn - DT - Age: 30; H: 6'4"; W: 318lbs
#90 - Nyurd Svaartwynn - DT - Age: 31; H: 6'5"; W: 321lbs
#99 - Baeryk Moergyn - DT - Age: 21; H: 6’4”; W: 320lbs

Baard Ulryk is a nosetackle, and sees the vast majority of his snaps in 3-4 and 5-man fronts, where he can use his bulk and immobility to clog the middle of the tackle box. In 4-3 sets, he gets sent to the sideline in favor of Joran Haargrave, who is a dangerous, athletic tackle terrorizing the middle of the line. He gets complemented by either Harald Baaltrlunn or Nyurd Svaartwynn, a pair of veteran tackles who don't showcase Haargrave's nastiness or explosiveness, but are capable hands to control the line of scrimmage and provide some interior pass rushing punch. Baeryk Moergyn is a young defender buried in a strong unit; still, he should get good rotational snaps at any number of spots on the line, able to even kick out as a strong-side end in running situations, and with the frame needed to play nosetackle if necessary.

Outside Linebackers:
#98 - Corryk Roenyr - SLB - Age: 21; H: 6’5”; W: 255lbs
#57 - Faeryk Joergsunn - SLB - Age: 24; H: 6’4”; W: 258lbs
#48 - Aeryn Warryk - WLB - Age: 25; H: 6’3”; W: 243lbs
#53 - Rebeka Kaarlsunn - WLB - Age: 22; H: 6’1”; W: 222lbs

Corryk Roenyr is a versatile SAM linebacker, adept both in coverage, as a situational pass-rusher, or as a run-stuffer; he is a capable three-down linebacker in his own right. However, he's supplemented by Faeryk Joergsunn, who, while slightly weaker as a coverage man, is an absolute hammer against the run; Joergsunn will see a lot of action in obvious rushing situations, sometimes even lining up as a down lineman. Aeryn Warryk is an athletic linebacker who excels in coverage, but is a little weak against the run. He's supplemented by Rebeka Kaarlsunn, who has the aggression needed to be a pursuit specialist against the run, or as a pass rusher off the edge in four-linebacker fronts.

Interior Linebackers:
#44 - Kaarl Voegyl - ILB - Age: 25; H: 6'4"; W: 254lbs
#54 - Graegyr Lukas - ILB - Age: 21; H: 6’3”; W: 250lbs
#47 - Margus Corwynn - ILB - Age: 25; H: 6'3"; W: 252lbs
#56 - Kaarl Jornur - ILB - Age: 28; H: 6'2"; W: 253lbs

The Regulars have found their new starting linebacker duo; Kaarl Voegyl and Graegyr Lukas are, individually, stellar tackling machines with sideline-to-sideline speed, a nose for the ball, and the versatility to play the run, rush the passer, or drop into coverage. Together, they complement each other almost perfectly, especially with Voegyl calling the defense's signals, and make the middle of the tacklebox a no-go-zone for opponents. Margus Corwynn and Kaarl Jornur are both capable, versatile veteran linebackers who will see their fair share of snaps, and have acquitted themselves well in action, but neither are on the caliber of Voegyl or Lukas.

Cornerbacks:
#07 - Bryndyn Witt - CB - Age: 26; H: 6'1"; W: 214lbs
#05 - Anke Baenty - CB - Age: 26; H: 5'10"; W: 177lbs
#08 - Lyna Donalsunn - CB - Age: 31; H: 5'10"; W: 154lbs
#26 - Fredrik Junnsunn - CB - Age: 21; H: 6’1”; W: 212lbs
#18 - Shonn Viktur - CB - Age: 22; H: 6’1”; W: 204lbs

Bryndyn Witt is a hard-nosed, 'shutdown' corner who tends to get placed on an opposing team's best receiver; he's a strong defender against the run as well, but he doesn't tend to secure as many interceptions; he's more of a swatter than a catcher. Anke Baenty by contrast is more of a ball-hawk; she's less tenacious in her coverage, and can't lock down opposing receivers as tightly, but throwing her direction can be, if anything, more dangerous, as she's prone to securing catches for herself. Lyna Donalsunn mostly plays as a nickel corner, although she also sometimes will see snaps as a safety. Frederik Junnsunn and Shonn Viktur are a pair of young, physically-imposing corners who have all the tools to become true lock-down stars, but are still learning their trade from Witt and Baenty, among others.

Safeties:
#23 - Claetus U'Daanyl - SS - Age: 26; H: 6'1"; W: 226lbs
#09 - Rikard Junnsunn - FS - Age: 32; H: 6'1"; W: 210lbs
#17 - Aldryk Baerunsunn - SS - Age: 25; H: 6’1”; W: 218lbs
#31 - Kaarltunn Gaaruttsunn - FS - Age: 25; H: 6’0”; W: 205lbs

Claetus U'Daanyl is one of the Regulars' most-imposing defenders, a backfield enforcer who can also be a hammer in the tackle box, and with good enough instincts to be a ball hawk in his own right. He is supported by veteran Regular defensive back Rikard Junnsunn. Junnsunn was formerly a corner, but shifted over to free safety to make better use of his instincts and coverage skills as he lost a step with age. Aldryk Baerunsunn and Kaarltunn Gaaruttsunn are young safeties who can fill in for U'Daanyl and Junnsunn in a pinch, but are solidly at 'good, but not great' caliber.

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Special Teams

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Overview:

Once upon a time, special teams (specifically kick and punt coverage) were huge liabilities for the Regulars. Over the years this has ceased to be the case; although they do concede the odd big special teams play here and there, on the whole the Regulars are well-equipped to win the battle of field position. This is in no small part due to the effectiveness of veteran place-kicker Kaarl Hunt and expert punter Wyatt Skode. Skode in particular is a huge part of the Regulars' defensive strategy, and while kick-offs still sometimes go awry, punt coverage has actually been a strength for the Regulars of late.

Players By Position

Placekicker:
#46 - Kaarl Hunt - K - Age: 31; H: 6'2"; W: 225lbs

Kaarl Hunt has been with the team for years. He's a reliable place-kicker who rarely misses inside of 50 yards. He's a little dicey beyond that, although he makes field goals out to 55 yards a little more often than not. Outside of the 55 yard mark, it's a little more of a crapshoot.

Punter:
#04 – Wyatt Skode – P - Age: 40; H: 6'0"; W: 215lbs – CAPTAIN

The Regulars' defense counts a lot on Wyatt Skode's ability to flip the field at the drop of a hat; the almost-40-year-old punter still has an excellent leg and has only gotten better, technique-wise, as his career has wound on; he's an expert on rugby-style punts and is good at dropping punts into corners where they can't be returned.

Long Snapper:
#71 - Vaargus Kynt - LS - Age: 30; H: 6'2"; W: 285lbs

Vaargus Kynt is a little smaller than the Regulars like their linemen to be, which is why, while he is, theoretically, the third-string center, he's not likely to do anything beyond long-snapping unless things have gone dreadfully wrong. Still, his snaps are reliable and near-perfect, so that's not exactly a problem for anyone.

[Roglonia]

"Great game guys, first half you had me a little worry but you came through in the second half and outscored them with good solid football fundamentals. That's exactly what I want to see!" Exclaims Coach Devonta as he walks in to congratulate his football team after their win over the nation of Ashkam. "We showed a lot of people who doubted us and said our team isn't ready for the World Bowl that we are a team to watch out for and I especially want to give a shout out to Levi who made that crazy one handed touchdown catch in the 3rd quarter that changed the tide of the game" the coach adds as he hands over the game ball to the tight end Levi Smith. The team's manager Melissa Tillery interupts the fun however, "I do want to mention one thing, I've heard reports that many of the players in the World Bowl from various teams are under investigation for possibly soliciting sex from prostitutes in the casino district of Pocono City. I know that this city has a certain charm but I would like to remind you all that this is punishable by a hefty fine by the committee and possible suspension as well." The cheers and laughter dies down as the room goes silent after Tillery's statements as if some of the players were guilty of doing such a thing. "Don't worry Melissa" Interjects Coach Devonta "I assure you that I make sure everyone follows curfew and is staying out of trouble."

[Northwest Kalactin]

Woo hoo a win against vakkoloki Haven and Cerelcia and that’s the first win for the kalactanians this world bowl.
Breaking News
Kalactanian Civil War is it possible?
As the Political situation in Northwest Kalactin gets worst will the Fascist Republic of Kyater finally get independence? Well war could start soon but if Kyater would secede from the Empire here are 3 reasons why they would not win


1. They don’t even have a good military even though each state is assigned it’s own Militia all the Militias are controlled at the City of the Gold Coast so the government can immediately recall the Kyater Militia if they were to secede.

2. The Kalactanian Constitution of 1985 doesn’t allow it.

3. They have allies while Northwest Kalactin has allies on every corner of the globe the Fascist republic of Kyater has revived support from 2 WA member states out of the 6,000 around the world.

[Main Nation Ministry]

Tales from the Ministry of Science

I Want To Dream

Paul Lowery waited for the head researcher to arrive to his workplace, so he can ask for permission for a test permit. When he came, he showcased his new invention. "So currently, I'm aiming for a way to treat insomnia and other sleep-related illnesses, so what I set up here is a dream maker, as I would call it." Paul explained, where he showed the machine. The machine was connected to the wall, where a cushioned wall was positioned at an angle, so an individual can lay against it and not worry about letting their body go limp. Around the top of the wall was a headset and smaller cushion to position the head.

"So it's the opposite of a dream catcher?"
"It's not a dream catcher. I mean, it's technically is. You see that keyboard and monitor over there? What I do is I input a scenario that the subject experiences where they sleep. For example, I can insert a dream of the subject at a picnic or have them dream of electric sheep."
"Have you gotten everything worked out?"
"That's why I need the test subjects. The one from the prisons will do. I hadn't thought of using this for other therapeutic purposes, as I want to control the way we dream. How about we have a mind without nightmares? No heights. No snakes or spiders. Just pleasant sleep."

Later..

It was suburbia where Prisoner #6349 was eating his breakfast of eggs and bacon. His son appeared, looking a little pale, though his wife was nearby. "Honey, Billy woke up with a runny nose. You think we should take him to the doctor?"
"Is Doctor Butch in the city?"
"No, he's still out of the nation."
"Make sure that Billy takes his vitamins or veggies. Isn't that right, Billy?" #6349 hugged his son, before he went to work in his car.

While driving to work, #6349 started to notice some things. He was still wearing his prison uniform, as like in the prison, but the boss couldn't mind. Actually, #6349 didn't recall having a son or wife. His late relationship went downhill, even with help from that dating app. Something was not right.

During lunch break, #6349 was eating his sandwich when a fellow co-worker offered him to take him out for lunch. "Nah, it's fine. I already have a sandwich, no need for any disco." #6349 suddenly realized what he just said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say disco. What I forwarding to say was I already liquor a starting french." What the hell was he saying?
"I'm.. I'm sorry! I want to sa-" #6349 immediately covered his mouth, realizing he was going to say more gibberish. He tried to gesture to his co-worker, but he looked unfazed. Then, the co-worker just walked into the wall near him. Like an NPC with bad AI, the co-worker was trying to enter a door that didn't even exist. "Oh god, what's happening!" #6349 voice was muffled from his hands over his mouth.

Then he woke up.

"Terribly sorry. Just a glitch in the machine." Paul was tending to the monitor next to #6349, as #6349 looked forward to see he was still in the lab. "Doc! Can I head back to my cell, please?! I don't have sleep problems, I can dream all fine!"
"Relax, I saw what you were dreaming. You had a bit of an aphasia attack, as I would like to call it. You did say you wanted to dream a perfect life. Do you want to end testing already?"
"Yes, please!"

Paul was annoyed that the prisoner didn't resume testing for the reminder of the day. The machine was still a prototype for dreams. Yet, #6349 didn't seem to need the help at all. No matter. Paul will get another subject to see if their a difference in results.

At The Media Examination Offices: Foreign Imports

A worker was examining some magazines and media from a country known as Free Republics, until he noticed a copy of Sporting World in the crank file. He remembered Sporting World and a women who made him laugh, which was very inappropriate with the society the nation held. He did admit the woman was probably of sexual freedom, not afraid to express her desires, but she was memetic in a way to entertain. The worker opened the copy of Sporting World, hoping for an article to amuse him, however what he got was an article from Henriette Lecuyer. He was reading the four paragraph when he believe he saw bitterness. His heart further sank when he saw a sentence in the 5th. He didn't believe it. He was inspired, but infected by Gloria in a happy sense. However, this woman made him feel disgust.

The worker felt it was the duty to do what Gloria would do. What he was doing was wrong, of course. If he met her and express himself towards her, she might reject him. However, the worker wanted to deliver some hope towards her. The worker pressed down the special symbol to identify that the article was memetic. Then, he eyed the denied bin for all of the denied media to be burned. "Should I do what I think is the right thing? Even if there will be consequences for me?" He thought to himself, making sure not to say this out loud, until an enforcer yelled at him to stop daydreaming.

He made sure the article didn't get denied or burned at the end of the day. He wondered if anyone would have done the same thing.

[Newmanistan]

The third game. A pivotal contest for many. Here's the cutoff!

Group 1
Lisander 31–0 Bostopia
The Frozen Forest 7–3 Allamunnic States
Starblaydia 20–34 Abanhfleft

  Group 1                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                      3    2   1    98   59  +39     6
2 Allamunnic States               3    2   1    70   37  +33     6
3 Starblaydia                     3    2   1    68   48  +20     6
4 Lisander                        3    2   1    75   59  +16     6
5 The Frozen Forest               3    1   2    23   81  −58     3
6 Bostopia                        3    0   3    23   73  −50     0

Group 2
Jebslund 16–16 South Covello (19–16 OT)
Nevis and Kitts 3–16 Razenthuria
Main Nation Ministry 40–10 Drawkland

  Group 2                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Razenthuria                     3    3   0    44   20  +24     9
2 Main Nation Ministry            3    2   1    70   57  +13     6
3 Drawkland                       3    2   1    39   43   −4     6
4 South Covello                   3    1   2    66   41  +25     3
5 Jebslund                        3    1   2    22   38  −16     3
6 Nevis and Kitts                 3    0   3    17   59  −42     0

Group 3
Taeshan 10–7 Pridnestrovia
Ashkam 7–19 Azadeshia
Banija 20–0 Roglonia

  Group 3                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Taeshan                         3    3   0    53   10  +43     9
2 Pridnestrovia                   3    2   1    44   30  +14     6
3 Banija                          3    2   1    39   27  +12     6
4 Azadeshia                       3    1   2    29   44  −15     3
5 Roglonia                        3    1   2    31   52  −21     3
6 Ashkam                          3    0   3    23   56  −33     0

Group 4
Holy Nazirealm 7–14 Northwest Kalactin
Kaboomlandia 29–7 Newmanistan
Vakolicci Haven & Celeria 3–10 Qasden

  Group 4                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Qasden                          3    3   0    57   27  +30     9
2 Kaboomlandia                    3    2   1    55   34  +21     6
3 Newmanistan                     3    2   1    59   46  +13     6
4 Northwest Kalactin              3    2   1    51   42   +9     6
5 Holy Nazirealm                  3    0   3    38   65  −27     0
6 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria       3    0   3    17   63  −46     0

Group 5
Equestrian States 30–3 The Wolf Zones
Alenburg 13–13 Barunia (20–13 OT)
Alpine Union 23–0 Free Republics

  Group 5                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                    3    3   0    80    7  +73     9
2 Barunia                         3    2   1    88   39  +49     6
3 Free Republics                  3    2   1    38   32   +6     6
4 Equestrian States               3    1   2    55   74  −19     3
5 Alenburg                        3    1   2    27   59  −32     3
6 The Wolf Zones                  3    0   3     6   83  −77     0

Group 6
Cassadaigua 27–3 Melbergia
Cosumar 27–6 Royal Kingdom of Quebec
The Greater Nordics 13–41 Ko-oren

  Group 6                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                         3    2   1    85   35  +50     6
2 Ko-oren                         3    2   1    77   50  +27     6
3 Cassadaigua                     3    2   1    44   26  +18     6
4 Royal Kingdom of Quebec         3    2   1    34   33   +1     6
5 Melbergia                       3    1   2    16   48  −32     3
6 The Greater Nordics             3    0   3    22   86  −64     0

Group 7
Vangaziland 31–19 United States of Devonta
North Prarie 10–20 Velstrania
Irwil 0–22 -Anthor-

  Group 7                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Velstrania                      3    3   0    56   23  +33     9
2 -Anthor-                        3    2   1    56   16  +40     6
3 Vangaziland                     3    2   1    57   48   +9     6
4 Irwil                           3    1   2    20   45  −25     3
5 North Prarie                    3    1   2    26   53  −27     3
6 United States of Devonta        3    0   3    29   59  −30     0

[Razenthuria]

Banijazen 29 - A New Legacy for the World Lacrosse Championships

---

_{Youth practicing lacrosse in rural Razenthuria, Banija and Razenthuria were awarded hosting rights for the 29th WLC (Wezakli Ableforth/Razen Sports Daily)}

_TYNEDALE - The two lacrosse associations of two well-known African nations – being Razenthuria and Banija have banded together to announce a co-bid to host the twenty-ninth edition of the World Lacrosse Championships, in which the two nations intend to split the hosting duties of the said tournament evenly between the two sides, leading up to a grand finale in either Banija or Razenthuria – with both nations just a stones’ throw away with a timeloop-descender. The two nations are well-known to each other – a collaboration between the two have been a longtime coming, as pleasantries had previously been discussed, in fact, both nations had previously come close to a united bid for an unspecified World Bowl, however this never took effect as the mounting costs in Razenthuria prevented it from doing so – this mainly because the government is going on a spend spree on upgrading six stadiums and building four more – boringly in hopes of hosting the Cup of Harmony but now in hopes of bringing the Campianto Esportiva to Razenthuria. Now, of course – the two nations have once more come together, with top federation leaders meeting four months ago in Calix City to discuss a possible co-bid, with Calix being the spiritual home of Razen lacrosse – it was officially confirmed, of course, lacrosse was to be a bid between the two nations – a joint one that was to span over more than ten cities encompassing the nation, a bid that would bring countless families together in hopes of creating the ultimate experience. Banija, no stranger to the lacrosse scene were looking for a follow up to their successful hosting of the 28th World Lacrosse Championship while Razenthuria, ranked sixteenth in the world were looking to build off success and the rise of lacrosse domestically to being the third most-popular sport in Razenthuria. The two nations have both established proper channels of communication, and the question simply are defined as for Razenthuria – what six stadiums and cities are bidding and pitching their prospective abilities to host to the bidding committee, in the end, if the Razen-Banijan bid is selected, only four Razen cities will be given the choice to host.

The cities are the main focal points – in an effort to promote the multi-culturalism of the nation, six cities have put in preliminary bids to be including on the final hosting list, these include the home of the Asian-Razen homeland, Soroku, in which the White Hawks L.C., an expansion side to Starliga hail from – Soroku has long been considered the home of the rebellion of ancient times, it has a distinctly different feel to the rest of Razenthuria, imperial flags of old hang from the rafters and even in sport – the large gulf between the rest of the country and the Eastern quartile show. Soroku is home of large sporting clubs – in gridiron, it hosts the Selva Sabres, who play at the SorokuDome in the meat-packing district, to the north; just outside the city limits, the football club – currently competing in RazenLeague 2 are Dragonpool, and their supporters – Knights Templar Brigade are some of the most-fearsome in the nation, of course, the secondary league isn’t on part with Njiko RZN, however, the fearsomeness of the Dragonpool supporters have given the city the definition as a rough, rigid area. To the south lie the ancestral homelands of the ancient Earth Kingdom – originally lead by King Ombashu – now, the center point of African Razenthuria, in this part lies Querjiban – Querjiban has been noted as being one of the strongest points of convergence in the universe, the Gods are rumored to walk its majestic lakes, a smaller city, it plays host to around 460,000 people, within its confines, representing the side in lacrosse is Green Torch Farmshore – which in this case are the current Starliga champions, crowned in the Paul le Verne Classic, in which they outlasted and utterly destroyed the Shallowford Hyena. In gridiron, the side is represented by the Querjiban Snakes, which play at the Iyoas K. Adane Memorial Stadium – rounding it out, in football, the aptly named AFC Querjiban lie in the southern part of the city, in their traditional yellow-and-black clad outfits.

Tynedale lies in the central parts – surrounded on all sides by the Kalerra Mountain range, Tynedale is the capital of Razenthuria – sometimes also called Xuala – which also happens to be the name of the province in which Tynedale is situated, Tynedale is well-represented in sport, despite being small for a capital city, only 1.1 million people, lacrosse represents the city thru the Tynedale Wizards, gridiron blesses it with the Xuala Howlers and the Tynedale Blackskins – in recent years, the Blackskins name have come under heavy fire – with the team owner being Ganiel Gryder, a White-Razen many decry as a racist. In football, Njiko RZN pays it well with both Tynedale City, which represents the southern sector and the capital, backed by the royal family; while the northern sector backs the expansion side, Emerald Cove, the workers’ team. By far the most-cultural city, Calix City is the next on the list and most-likely an obvious shew-in for inclusion – noted as being the home of the Calix City Institute of Archaeology, a consistent winner in the NSCF’s Sequoia Conference, CCIA has attracted many thousands of students and has given rise to the campus-like feel thru the city. Calix City has got the goods – however, no lacrosse team plays in Calix City – there however will be an expansion team next season to cater to Calix City, the Clube de Calix S.C. is to expand to open a lacrosse branch. Calix City’s Philistine Iron play in the G-League for gridiron. And of course, football, the city plays home to the well-known Calix City FC with countless other teams in the RazenLeague pyramid. Christcastle to the north is the next city; the home of the ‘white’ people, Christcastle was a former fort and trading post for the original colonizers of Razenthuria; Afrenzia, a rampant empire that spread quickly across the Lotus Keys, it fell late years ago – leaving the nation in disarray, rise Christcastle, a city represented by the Christcastle Eskimos in lacrosse and 414 Christcastle in football – no team represents it in gridiron. Finally, the last city pitching forth lay in Port Perrington, which has in recent years sought to monopolize itself as an exceptional city; in lacrosse sporting the Port Perrington Sailors, doubling up for gridiron – the Port Perrington Inferno and Marietta Cove Narwhals, finally, they receive 206 Mitche and Navy Club in Njiko RZN league play.
The stadia proposed for Razenthuria are as followed:

• Soroku – SorokuDome (29 000)
• Querjiban – Iyoas K. Adane Memorial Stadium (37 000)
• Tynedale – Wizards Arena (18 650)
• Calix City – Calix City Stadia (57 850)
• Christcastle – Baron’s Galactic Tech. Stadium (12 750)
• Port Perrington – Stellar Downs (22 000)

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY THREE

Starblaydia        7  3 10  0  20
Abanhfleft         7  7 10 10  34

It is possible, my friends! It is possible for Abanhfleft to triumph over Starblaydia in the field of sport! Sure, it was in the field of gridiron football and not association football where the Starblaydi could possibly care a little more, but I don't care! We've won! We've won! We are back in World Bowl contention, boys and girls!

In case you couldn't tell, this victory was really possibly the most important one we've attained in all of our years participating in the World Bowl. In case you couldn't tell, I'm still a bit bitter about our loss in the World Cup against Starblaydia. Yes, I know that that was not our best team in years, but still, the Starblaydi didn't have to rub their victory in our faces like that. Can you tell that I've suddenly developed a bit of a loathing for these purple bastards?

But enough about my personal feelings; let's get on with the game itself. Once again we won the toss, but this time we chose to kick so that we would receive the ball in the second half. Starblaydia's Justin Epaii was able to take the ball to their own 20-yard line before being finally taken out of bounds by Minh Duong. The Starblaydi were then able to move the chains all the way to the Fleftic 10-yard line, where after it looked as if we had managed to stop the purple bastards, Cesare Di Lorenzo suddenly tossed the ball to Dario Stefano, who was practically wide open inside the end zone, and Starblaydia ended their first possession with a score.

Then it was our turn to take possession, and we all knew that we had to at least match the Starblaydi in terms of putting points on the board. Talib Wahhad only managed to get us to our own 10-yard line before getting tackled by Julio Amore. Not the best of starts for us, but once again Harrison Aumann worked his magic and got us all the way to the red zone once again, and it was a 6-yard pass to Jeremy Lacazette that put us back on level terms with the purple people.

Starblaydia got the ball back again to start the second quarter, and this time our defense held firm, forcing the home side to take an unconvincing 35-yard field goal through Cosmo Zeni. But when it was our turn to get the ball, we did the most of what we could with it and scored yet another touchdown, this time from the connection between Aumann and Von Colone, who ran into the end zone after shrugging off two tackles for a 7-yard TD rush. After that though, the rest of the second quarter was taken up by a bunch of disappointing three-and-outs for both sides, with the net result being that everyone was hoping that this wouldn't turn into a defensive slug-fest in the second half.

Thankfully, that didn't happen, but mostly because the lads were properly motivated to avenge our ladies for what the Starblaydi did to them in the World Cup. Abanhfleft received the ball to start off the third quarter, but unfortunately for us the best that we could do with that possession was a 36-yard field goal from Cleveland Hyneman. Starblaydia took the lead once again this time from a quarterback sneak by Di Lorenzo, but we responded to that with a 23-yard pass from Harry Aumann to Jeremy Lacazette for a touchdown. After that, though, we just shut down the purple finks, plain and simple. That fourth quarter was all Abanhfleft, plain and simple. First a 46-yard field goal and then a 2-yard rush from Oren Makkabi to seal the deal.

So that does it for us, then. Victory over The Frozen Forest and Starblaydia means that we take top spot in Group 1, above the Stars and even the Allamunnic States. We've got one more game against Bostopia to go before we have to face the Regulars, so I really hope that the boys will be able to get some momentum going for them before we inevitably lose against the Fanboys. Oh, well. One can hope but one knows better than to hope for a Fleftic win against a side ranked higher than us. It's just not gonna happen. And we should all be used to that feeling now, right? Russell Feltner, Russell Feltner, Russell Feltner....

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIA AT THE WORLD BOWL
WORLD BOWL XXXV GROUP STAGE RECAP

Hello again, friends and fellow fans in gridiron. Today I will be looking back at the past three games that Pridnestrovia has played in the World Bowl XXXV in Newmanistan (those bastards that beat us in the semifinals by two field goals and yet had the gall to say that we were simply not firing on all cylinders which to be fair we did but it's not like they're saying anything about how they were also unable to connect on simple passes as well). We have ourselves a mixed bag of results of two wins and one loss, with our wins coming against Azadeshia and Banija and our first loss against the defending World Bowl champions Taeshan. Let's take a look at how these games went.

World Bowl XXXV Group Stage Matchday One

Azadeshia          0  7  0  0  7
Pridnestrovia      3  7  0  3  13

Well, this was certainly nothing like what we've come to expect both from our national team and from our players, at least with regards to the score and even the standard of play, but then again I believe we've been spoiled by the PGSL, but still, this game feels a little, I don't know, disappointing.

At least we got to see a lot of the PGSL's Azadeshian players in action, although I have to say that this is most definitely not the level we would have expected them to be playing. They've had a few years to learn the art of gridiron football by now, so for me it simply doesn't make sense that both teams would play so... poorly. I'm sorry, but it has to be said. When both teams combine to score only 20 points in a single gridiron game, then that doesn't qualify as a good game of gridiron at all.

That being said, both Stan Serban and Din Goyal know their opposition very well, having played against each other at least twice in the league. Both quarterbacks got off to poor starts though, with Stan the Man unable to muster more than a field goal out of his offense, and Din Goyal was completely shut out of the first quarter with a pair of three-and-outs. He got a little bit better in the second quarter, finding Maha Patel for a 6-yard touchdown, which was also unfortunately (from an Azadeshian perspective) their only touchdown of the game. Stan the Man did somewhat better than that though, with him handing the ball to Nazariy Zelenko for a second quarter touchdown, and then it was also Stan the Man who managed to get the necessary yards to make it an easier field goal attempt for Wislaw Sokoloff. That would turn out to be the game-winning field goal, apparently, so all's well that ends well for the Red Army, right?

World Bowl XXXV Group Stage Matchday Two

Pridnestrovia      7 10  0  7  24
Banija             0  0  6  7  13

At least we became a little bit more dominant come matchday two. Mind you, gridiron is also not the most popular sport in Banija (although they do have a number of excellent NSCF schools) but still, these guys gave us a good fight. I even heard rumors that they have players planning to declare for the next PGSL Draft so that will be a draft to watch out for! Anyway, this time it was our defense who was king, being responsible for shutting out the Banijans for the entirety of the first half. But as they always say about defenses, keeping them out on the field is tiring, and the Banijans were able to get a couple of field goals to open their account in the third quarter, and Cyper Kasou found Dobromir Margolin from 23 yards away to score their first and only touchdown in the game. That made for a bit of a nervous finish to the game, but Stan Serban closed out the game with a 6-yard toss to Cemil Aslan, who had stepped onto the field to replace Valentyn Sevyk, who had to sit out the last five minutes of the fourth quarter due to the concussion protocol. Once again, all's well that ends well, eh?

World Bowl XXXV Group Stage Matchday Three

Taeshan            0  7  0  3  10
Pridnestrovia      0  0  0  7  7

And now for a game that was, in the immortal words of my dear friend Dara Keane from Gaelic Gamers, "utter wank." This was a defensive showdown bar none, and Taeshan eventually came out on top, but not after we made them work for it. Sure, it was the defending champions who got on the score board first with a 14-yard touchdown pass from Sam Clentimack to Kyle Trout, but it was the likes of Cezary Gomulka and Hieronymus Saller in our side that stopped the defending World Bowl champions. Still, their defense also worked a number on our offense, and there were times when Stan "The Man" Serban could barely even find a pass. But he did eventually find Guntram Rosenfeld at the 3-yard line for what we thought was a game-tying touchdown, but then Sam Clentimack activated his voodoo powers and managed to get his team all the way to the Pridnestrovian 40-yard line within 55 seconds and therefore gave his kicker Martin Xavier a chance to win the game once and for all. Which he did. And that is why we cannot have nice things.

Anyway, that sums up the first three days of Pridnestrovia in World Bowl XXXV. The players are all generally a bit rusty as it's the middle of the PGSL offseason so these kinds of results are just about what we might expect from them. However, now that I'm done recapping the group stage, I can now focus on recapping the 2023-24 PGSL season. I'm sure a lot of you already know the result but wouldn't it be fun to see how we got there in the first place? Anyway, that's all the time I have left now, so be sure to come back here next time for more about the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. Til then, До свидания.

[Roglonia]

It's just a little bit passed the 2 minute warning of the 4th quarter, the score is 13-0 in favor of Banija but they have enough time outs to possible win the game if the time management is played right. Quarterback Okotawa calls a passing play as the offense prepares itself for the snap, they have been performing poorly this game only being kept in the game by their defense but Okotawa looks to change that. He snaps the ball and then looks right and see's Vaughn under heavy coverage, Looks towards the middle and see's Osunya getting some separation. He passes to Osunya, unfortunately it was a bad call and he fell for the safety Obi Benti's Trap. Obi makes the interception and dodges a few players and runs straight for the end-zone.... TOUCHDOWN! Jagne makes the extra point... The game is over at this point, Coach Devonta realizes this and sends out his back ups to play the rest of the game. In the bench their is clear unrest between the defense who played exceptional and the offense who failed to put any points on the board.

[Alenburg]

FLYING HIGH!



That was the tittle from Loirgrunzodd Herald Sports Section

Our Falken won their first WB game against Barunia winning on OT 20-13, Our Falken given the welcome to the Barunian team to Irvine Stadium located on ClawTown City the team were recieved by Clawtown City Major himself, motivated as always even knowing they were defeated twice against Alpine Union and Free Republics after both teams singed their anthems they started with the Falken winning the coin toss but this time they chose kicking.


1st Quarter:,The first TD was scored by Barunia on minute 10:00 thanks to a 20 yards pass made by Barunian QB who managed to drive the team to the Falken 20 yard line a pass who almost got intercepted by SS Jason Clint,on minute 5:00 Falken QB Michael Robertson completed a 40 yard run thanks to a read option play who catched by surprise the Barunian defense the QB from the Loirgrunzodd Hawks was well defended by the rest of the players and managed to complete the TD[.First Quarter ended with a 7-7 score

2nd Quarter: On minute 12:00 our Falken scored another TD this time scored by TE Alex Johnson thanks to a last minute position change dictated by the offensive coordinator cathing a 30 yard pass for a TD but Russel Wilson missed the extra point kick Falken were winning 13-7,the surprise came when 10 seconds before the 2:00 pause a controversial catched made by one the WRs from Barunia on the Alenburgian 20 yard line,coaches were debating and discussing the refs,the play was challenged by Alenburg claiming there was no control of the Ball before landing but after reviewing the play three times the refs dictated it was a TD but for the surprise of everyone the EP was blocked by Flaken Special Teams exalting the public reaction on Irvine Stadium,this quarter ended with 13-13 score.

3rdQuarter:No scores

4th Quarter:Another surprise from the night,the 4th quarter ended with no TD and both teams went to Extra Time for a moment absolute silence dominated the stadium.

OT:This was the OT when you must win or win,this time our Falken won the coin toss again and logically they chose to receive the ball,after the kickoff leaving our hawkers on their own 30 yard line they managed to go to the Barunian 40 yard line with a 3rd and 9 this time coach Van Der Merwe made a decision for the surprise of the Alenburgian public he changed his best WR Jake Sheeren for the Cape Alenburg Wolfs WR Jake Pratt brother of Carl Pratt both known as the C2 Twins,then the miracle happenned Alenburg plays the ball and QB Michael Robertson given a pass to WR Jake Pratt who was in the corner and at the same time Pratt throws a perfect 40 yard pass to WR Shawn Smith scoring the winning TD taking by surprise to the whole Barunian team cause they did not know that Jake Pratt still had skills thanks to his years playing QB position in High School meanwhile his brother was always a WR,the game ended with the ET point and the celebration from the whole ClawTown City and our boys winning their first WB game.

After this match i am really sure and swear that our Falken will rise as always,preparing and getting ready for whatever comes

Archibald Koetzee (Loirgrunzodd Herald Sports Section Writer)

[Alenburg]

PREPARING FOR RISING

That was the tittle from Loirgrunzodd Herald Sports Section

As our Falken won their first WB game against Barunia this time they go against Equestran States an interesting and misterious nation, we managed to go to the training with a pass to the training camp for see our Falken training and preparing to rise and fight in this game



QB Michael Robertson

Linemen training

[Union of Socialist Alpine Republics]

The Alpine Union crushes the Free Republics

Tahlequah, Republic of Sonoma - (NAP) On week three, the Alpines recieved the Free Republics at the Sonoma Memorial Stadium in Tahlequah, Sonoma. This is the football game that everyone in the Alpine Union has been waiting for and no need to say that the stadium was sold out. The Free Republics won the coin toss and choose to recieve the ball. On their first drive, Matthijn Admiraal fumbles the ball at the 48 yards line in their own territory. The Bisons offense racked up 25 yards and made a 40 yard field goal and were leading 3-0. The Reprezentacja Alpejski made another field goal before the end of the 1st quarter and the score was 6-0. No score in the 2nd quarter and it was 6-0 Alpine Union at the halftime.

The Bisons recieved the ball to start the 3rd quarter and, on a 2nd and 4 at the 32 yards line in Republican territory, Clifford Jenkins makes a screen pass to Barkevious Hawkins who catches the ball at the 34 yards line and runs all the way to the endzone it's a 32 yards passing touchdown for Clifford Jenkins and the score is 13-0 Alpine Union! Early in the 4th quarter, on a 3rd and 17, Wibe Rus' pass intended to Roman Vesely was intercepted by Octavius Jones who returns the ball to the 27 yards line in Republican territory. On a 1st and 10 at the 27 yards line, Coconut Riddick gets the ball, runs to the right and throws the ball to Jarius Floyd who's standing alone in the endzone, it's a 27 yards passing touchdown by Coconut Riddick! The Alpines are leading 20-0 and they adds another 3 points before the end of the 4th quarter and the Alpine Union crushes the Free Republics 23-0!

Dawson Floyd missed the game with a nose injury and he's still doubtful against Barunia on week 4. It's a mystery why his nose injury takes so long to recover. Tackle Ernesto Herrera is probable on week 4 with an ankle injury and Free Republics' wide reciever Fran Pavlovic is questionnable against The Wolf Zones with a leg injury. The Alpine Union is now 1st in group 5 with 3 wins in 3 games with a points differential of 73! The Bisons' next game is on the road against Barunia.

Alpine Union     6   0   7  10   -  23
Free Republics   0   0   0   0   -   0

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
12:13 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (40 yards)
4:39 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (24 yards)

2ND QUARTER
No score

3RD QUARTER
11:55 - Touchdown by Barkevious Hawkins (32 yards pass from Clifford Jenkins). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.

4TH QUARTER
14:32 - Touchdown by Jarius Floyd (27 yards pass from Coconut Riddick). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.
7:56 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (38 yards)

[Jebslund]

Jagerhunde Finally Win
Is it a fluke, or the start of a recovery?

Today is a cautiously sunny day for Jebslunden Kerthenia-style football fans. Our Jagerhunde finally won a World Bowl game, putting them at 1-2. While some fans are taking this as a sign of things to come, this sports writer isn't so convinced, and, while the lack of comment from anyone on the team is encouraging (Keep up the hard work, boys and girls!), I'm not seeing a way out of the flatspin just yet. Here's why:

For starters, the simple fact is that we're still down by two games. Unless the teams higher than us blow it and we win all the games we play in this round, the Jagerhunde are headed for the ground and there's no changing it. We're one team down from the bottom, and there are two highly-seeded teams in our group, South Covello, who we just beat in overtime, at number 11 and Drawkland, who thrashed us soundly, at number four. In addition, Razenthuria, ranked number 76 is currently undefeated, and the Jagerhunde were shut out when they faced them, and the Main Nation Ministry, ranked number 21, is 2 and 1, and, to be frank, I don't fancy our chances against them. Razenthuria's players have been on fire this season, and the MNM aren't slouching on the field, either. It'll take more training and studying to go up against these giants than I'm convinced our boys and girls have time for.

Next, lets look at how we've done so far. While the team's shown improvement, they've yet to win decisively. They have, however, certainly *lost* decisively, and I'm not sure I see that changing. Their only hope is that the Krakken will make their training miraculously effective if they're to have any hope of pulling enough wins out of the next seven games to advance to the next round. It's possible, but it'll take a lot of snacks to make that happen... The last obstacle is the other teams. If Razenthuria and MNM keep their wins coming, there's not really much hope for our guys, and that's just in our group. Compared to all of the other teams in the Bowl, we're just not doing all that hot. I'm sorry, sports fans, but I still haven't changed my opinion from last game: Bail out and use the remaining games as training for next year, Jagerhunde.

Today's featured Imbissmeister is Pfeffer Bauernhöfe, makers of the ever-popular Geist Beißt line of snacks! Those crunchy, white cheddary, sneakily-spicy ghost-shaped crackers we snackers just can't get enough of. StuGville Stadium will be selling all their flavors, including their new line of sour cream and onion crackers! When you've got a spooky case of the munchies, grab a bag of Geist Beißt!

Writing for the Sportler, this has been Eva Kerman wishing you a lucky season!

[Main Nation Ministry]

SportsLife: Stories of Your Favorite Sports Players from the Ministry

"Hey, the name's Flint Frayser. You may know me the Head Trainer of this summer's World Bowl. Emmanuel Jones is busy training the team, however I'm available for some to learn some parts of my life and how I got here.

I remember being born at a mining sector in the 6th district hospital. I spend the first 7 years of my life, collecting rocks that looked interesting to me. I was still a weakling back then, since I was too young to develop any real muscle. When I was 7 years old, I was being starved for attention from my parents, who started fighting. My mother would yell at me mostly all the time, while my father was filled with sloth to spend time with me. I remember feeling hopeless almost, as I remember a friend at our school tell me about the children's cadet program. So, what I did was applied and I remembered leaving home to head to the academy.

At the academy, I felt what I was missing for all of the my life. To feel strong. I have been training as a soldier and as a cadet for years, where even if some of the sessions I been through were cruel and rough, I made sure to show my determination. After my years, I attempted to develop a romantic relationship with a woman I knew. Well.. (Flint looks down with a sad look on his face) She did pass away after what happened. We were driving to a movie theater one night and this man was driving down the wrong lane, trying to adjust his radio. Both of us got into a collision, but she was the only one who died.

Even though, she died, what happened convinced me to not give up on trying to live a life I wanted. So that was when I offically married my first wife. I managed to become a head trainer at the Ministry of Sports, where I make sure our team will prevail in victory."

To learn more about your favorite sports legends, watch more episodes of SportsLife!

[Newmanistan]

Cutoff for matchday four!

Group 1
Bostopia 0–20 Abanhfleft
Allamunnic States 18–9 Starblaydia
Lisander 36–9 The Frozen Forest

  Group 1                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                      4    3   1   118   59  +59     9
2 Lisander                        4    3   1   111   68  +43     9
3 Allamunnic States               4    3   1    88   46  +42     9
4 Starblaydia                     4    2   2    77   66  +11     6
5 The Frozen Forest               4    1   3    32  117  −85     3
6 Bostopia                        4    0   4    23   93  −70     0

Group 2
South Covello 16–12 Drawkland
Razenthuria 0–7 Main Nation Ministry
Jebslund 34–17 Nevis and Kitts

  Group 2                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Main Nation Ministry            4    3   1    77   57  +20     9
2 Razenthuria                     4    3   1    44   27  +17     9
3 South Covello                   4    2   2    82   53  +29     6
4 Jebslund                        4    2   2    56   55   +1     6
5 Drawkland                       4    2   2    51   59   −8     6
6 Nevis and Kitts                 4    0   4    34   93  −59     0

Group 3
Pridnestrovia 9–7 Roglonia
Azadeshia 22–13 Banija
Taeshan 22–0 Ashkam

  Group 3                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Taeshan                         4    4   0    75   10  +65    12
2 Pridnestrovia                   4    3   1    53   37  +16     9
3 Banija                          4    2   2    52   49   +3     6
4 Azadeshia                       4    2   2    51   57   −6     6
5 Roglonia                        4    1   3    38   61  −23     3
6 Ashkam                          4    0   4    23   78  −55     0

Group 4
Northwest Kalactin 3–26 Qasden
Newmanistan 16–9 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria
Holy Nazirealm 7–13 Kaboomlandia

  Group 4                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Qasden                          4    4   0    83   30  +53    12
2 Kaboomlandia                    4    3   1    68   41  +27     9
3 Newmanistan                     4    3   1    75   55  +20     9
4 Northwest Kalactin              4    2   2    54   68  −14     6
5 Holy Nazirealm                  4    0   4    45   78  −33     0
6 Vakolicci Haven & Celeria       4    0   4    26   79  −53     0

Group 5
The Wolf Zones 3–14 Free Republics
Barunia 20–14 Alpine Union
Equestrian States 7–31 Alenburg

  Group 5                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                    4    3   1    94   27  +67     9
2 Barunia                         4    3   1   108   53  +55     9
3 Free Republics                  4    3   1    52   35  +17     9
4 Alenburg                        4    2   2    58   66   −8     6
5 Equestrian States               4    1   3    62  105  −43     3
6 The Wolf Zones                  4    0   4     9   97  −88     0

Group 6
Melbergia 6–26 Ko-oren
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 41–17 The Greater Nordics
Cassadaigua 21–35 Cosumar

  Group 6                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                         4    3   1   120   56  +64     9
2 Ko-oren                         4    3   1   103   56  +47     9
3 Royal Kingdom of Quebec         4    3   1    75   50  +25     9
4 Cassadaigua                     4    2   2    65   61   +4     6
5 Melbergia                       4    1   3    22   74  −52     3
6 The Greater Nordics             4    0   4    39  127  −88     0

Group 7
United States of Devonta 17–0 -Anthor-
Velstrania 12–0 Irwil
Vangaziland 17–10 North Prarie

  Group 7                       Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Velstrania                      4    4   0    68   23  +45    12
2 Vangaziland                     4    3   1    74   58  +16     9
3 -Anthor-                        4    2   2    56   33  +23     6
4 United States of Devonta        4    1   3    46   59  −13     3
5 North Prarie                    4    1   3    36   70  −34     3
6 Irwil                           4    1   3    20   57  −37     3

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

WORLD BOWL XXXV RECAP: MATCHDAY FOUR

Bostopia        0  0  0  0  0
Abanhfleft      0 10  0 10  20

Well, it's still a win, but there's a little part of me that kind of wishes that we didn't have to win against the girls of Bostopia. They were simply outgunned and outclassed in almost every aspect of the game, and I have to admit that I wince every once in a while whenever one of our boys tackles one of those Bostopian girls. It gives me the impression of a bug being squished. I don't know. I'm weird that way.

But on with the game itself. Nothing of note happened at all in the first quarter. A couple of three-and-outs, which is all but a shameful display for the likes of our Armored Revolutionaries, and not much else. The first quarter was also the start of the time when the likes of Yaropolk Feofiliyev began flattening the likes of Ava Burnett and Carol Martin to the ground. Not a good sight if you ask me.

The thing of it though, is that even though almost all of the Bostopian girls are painfully smaller than even the smallest Fleftic guys, it was that size difference that allowed the likes of Jennie Nielsen and Cassie Stephens to get through the gaps in the defense and get a sack or two on Harrison Aumann. But the boys eventually wised up to that tactic, and Harry eventually found his groove, eventually throwing a 22-yard pass to Jeremy Lacazette for the first touchdown of the game. An errant pass from Ava Burnett that was meant for Zoey Simms was then intercepted by Marcelo Chia, allowing Abanhfleft a second possession in the dying minutes of the second quarter, and we got close enough for a field goal to go 10-0 up in the first half.

Then things turned to shit once again, and nobody scored anything in the third quarter. But we really should have gotten at least three points in the third quarter, if only Cleveland Hyneman's kick hadn't been blocked by Sophia Smith, whom I have to say looked like she climbed up onto Francisco Dalangin's back to swat at the ball. That should have gotten a flag, but I guess the officials were feeling sorry for the Bostopians, hence they let them get away with that swatting play.

But no matter, because we got our revenge in the fourth quarter for all that it's worth. On the other hand, maybe the Bostopians knew that if they pulled the same shit once again then it's game over for them, but that being said, we still made the that fourth quarter field goal from 37 yards. Yet another three-and-out followed for Bostopia, and then Harrison Aumann practically ate up the rest of the clock before capping it off with a 21-yard pass to Saddam Hussain to close out the game.

That now makes it four out of four games for our Armored Revolutionaries, and just in time too, as our next opponent is none other than the Allamunnic States. They're not quite the force in gridiron that they used to be when I first got into the sport, but they're still a strong team, and we should not take them lightly at all. The fight for top spot in Group 1 could be between us and the Fanboys, and we should take every advantage that we can get to come out on top against them, because they will surely do the same against us. Such is gridiron football. Conrado Azucarrera, Conrado Azucarrera, Conrado Azucarrera....

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Гридиронная Суперлига
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON II RECAP

Hello one and hello all and welcome back to the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League unofficial blog. Today I am recapping Season 2 of the PGSL, or as some of you might know it better, the 2023-24 PGSL season. We have two new teams with us and one old team has come and gone to participate in their own league in the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds, so the second season of the PGSL will kick off with eleven teams, meaning that for the first time in its history, the PGSL will have bye days. The plan of course is to have an even number of teams participating in the league so that there are no bye days, but the withdrawal of the Barunian team, while it didn't really catch the league by surprise, caught them at an inopportune moment to do so, and a new expansion team was not up and ready in time for the PGSL Draft. But enough about the preseason. Let's get right into the season itself.

MATCHDAY ONE

Antakya Hawks            7  3  7 10  27
Rheinburg Spartans      10  3  0  3  16

Sheriff Tiraspol         6  3  3  7  19
Macaresti Gladiators     0 10  3  3  16

Bratsk Dolphins          0  3  0  3   6
Dinamo Bender           10  0  7  0  17

Admiral Novorossiysk     3  3  0  3   9
CSKA Tiraspol           10  3  3  3  19

Kesselburger Kestrels    3  3  7  7  20
Novonikolaysk Sharks     7  3  0  3  13

Dinamo Bender got off their Pridnestrovian Bowl defense to a good start, if not a particularly pleasing one, with victory over Kelly Profit's Bratsk Dolphins. Rodion Tarasenko and Filipp Akimov have seemingly picked up right where they left off, and both of Dinamo's touchdowns against Bratsk were from the Tarasenko-Akimov connection. Meanwhile, the other finalist in the first ever Pridnestrovian Bowl, the Rheinburg Spartans, were blown out of the water (figuratively) by new team the Antakya Hawks, and Valerian Hynes could very well be on his way to becoming Din Goyal's favorite receiver, with the Fleftic accounting for two out of Antakya's three touchdowns. The other expansion team, the Kestrels, also did pretty well for themselves by winning their contest, although it has to be said that Kesselburg won against the Novonikolaysk Sharks, and that the Sharks were actually able to go toe to toe with the Kestrels before Andrew Parker found Maha Patel in the end zone for the winning touchdown for the team from Kesselburg.

MATCHDAY TWO

CSKA Tiraspol           14  3  7  0  24
Kesselburger Kestrels    0  3  0  7  10

Dinamo Bender            7  7  3  3  20
Admiral Novorossiysk     3  3  0  7  13

Macaresti Gladiators     6  3  3  0  12
Bratsk Dolphins         13  0  3  0  16

Rheinburg Spartans       0  0  0  0   0
Sheriff Tiraspol         3  7 13  3  26

Yeralenko Torpedoes      7  7  7  0  21
Antakya Hawks            7  7 10  0  24

All good things must come to an end, and for Kesselburg, the grim reality of their position as a PGSL expansion team was painfully and woefully exposed when they came to the New Army Stadium to play against CSKA Tiraspol. The Medvedev brothers, Andrey Nikitich and Demyan Nikitich, were at their usual best, but it should also be noted that CSKA's defense also played a part in their victory against the Kestrels, with Jorge Peralta Arconcillo nabbing a pass meant for Terentiy Mazarevskiy and running it back to the end zone for a pick-six.

Dinamo Bender's title defense campaign continues on with another victory over Admiral Novorossiysk, and while Stan "The Man" Serban's quarterback sneak touchdown near the end of the game made things a little bit more interesting, a field goal from Dinamo widened the gap between the two teams yet again and ensured that Dinamo's victory would be more comfortable than how they actually played on the field. The Antakya Hawks' rise continues with their victory over the Yeralenko Torpedoes by a single field goal, and while that field goal from Timon Evstafiev wasn't at the end of the game, it still proved to be the difference in the Hatay side picking up their second consecutive victory in the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League.

World Bowl XXXV Bonus!: Group Stage Matchday Four

Pridnestrovia      3  3  0  3  9
Roglonia           0  0  7  0  7

And now for some World Bowl freebies! Frankly, the less said about this game, the better, as it played out almost exactly like a game between Submarin Yeralenko and Star City FC (two Pridnestrovian soccer teams who are notorious for their extremely defensive style of play), and it was only because we were able to score three field goals that we won this game at all. At least our defense did their job. Elliot Vaughn got the only touchdown in the game although it did look like for a moment that it was going to be intercepted. But no, Vaughn still managed to grab onto the ball and bring it to the end zone despite some very questionable routes that he had run throughout the game. But that was all Roglonia was able to do, and Wislaw Sokoloff's 30-yard field goal with five minutes to go in the fourth quarter proved to be the difference between the two teams.

I know that this isn't a lot based on my usual standards, but my present line of work has not given me a lot of opportunities to have a long sit down with my thoughts about the PGSL and Pridnestrovian gridiron in general, so just bear with me for the moment. Normal service will resume when they will be resumed. До свидания.