Hello, this is Gracie Liang, and welcome to NDBC News. Tonight’s top stories:
*B-roll footage of Philadelphia PD officers can be seen using a sort of goo to cuff two individuals in suits. The goo comes from a strip of what looks like duct tape wrapped around each individual's hand, which promptly melts into a mass which envelops both suspects' hands. The two can be seen shouting at each other, and at several other similarly handcuffed persons.*
In what has become the offbeat news story of the day for many, six people were arrested by police in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Earth SSR for inciting a brawl at an academic conference. The dispute was allegedly incited between two experts in Pre-Apocalypse History, Dr. James Hurtubise of the University of Pennsylvania, and Dr. Coreena Schneerson of the New Star City Polytechnic Institute, over a question which has vexed the Pre-Apocalypse Historical Community for many years.
*cuts to a painting with George Washington, similar to the famous "Crossing of the Delaware" painting. However, George is not using a boat to cross the icy Delaware River. Rather, he stands astride a crude, steampunk automaton of some sort which looks like it could have been built in someone's basement. George's other teammates are seen using steam jump jet-powered mecha to leap from ice floe to ice floe also.*
Namely, did George Washington--legendary hero of the pre-Apocalypse Era--actually use mecha to cross the Delaware River? The debate has been complicated due to the Apocalypse itself, which has made it harder to access intact records regarding the event. While scholarly consensus is a solid "No," there is a small minority of revisionist historians known as "Mechheads" which argue that the possibility could at least exist. Needless to say, that scholarly debate, put on here as part of local Explosion Day celebrations--which have subsumed the Fourth of July holiday celebrated in large parts of North America--took an unusually contested turn.
*cuts to a young woman looking rather confused*
"I mean, it was fairly obvious the two were not having a good day. And Dr. Hurtubuise, he goes It's plain to see that there's no historic evidence that George Washington used steam powered mecha to cross the Delaware."
Then all of a sudden, Professor Schneerson leaps up and goes, 'Fuck you, Charles, there is. Recent archaeological evidence suggests the presence of not only steam powered mecha, but steam powered mecha invented by Ben Franklin himself!' Next thing you know, Dr. Hurtubise is accusing Schneerson of misinterpreting fragments of a Franklin stove, and then, they go at it. Lots of swearing, and I think a chair got thrown."
*cuts to a Philadelphia PD officer sighing before being poked by his superior with an elbow, as he speaks.*
"As of 10:24 this morning, we did act to restrain two individuals engaging in a fight onstage at this Conference. We also had to restrain four others from joining in; they have been arrested on charges of resisting arrest and assault. There is no other threat to the public as of this point, and we are investigating the cause of this incident."
*cuts to stock footage of the two individuals debating in the past*
This is not the first time the two have debated the subject, but witnesses said that the two seemed unusually agitated in the hours before the discussion. There is no word on whether this incident is tied to the ongoing dimensional distortions although one person was quoted as saying, "Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised, given the fact the chupacabras are everywhere now, man."
In what is being hailed by locals as the "biggest Chupathingy cull in recent memory," authorities on Earth SSR and Mars County have organized the 1st Annual Chupacabra Hunt. A two week long celebration and species cull, it is believed that the Hunt was organized by local leaders to combat the sudden outbreak of chupacabras which have not only plagued Western North America and Central America, but other parts of Earth SSR and even now several other Counties near Earth, including Mars, New Star City and other regions.
*cuts to a man in a business suit speaking in front of LA City Hall, surrounded by groups of Dornalians of all sorts. Some have cat ears and tails, some have wolves' ears and tails, and there are even some Kroot. The Kroot glare at the persons with wolves' ears and tails, who in turn make a gesture involving a v-sign with the index and middle finger, pointing it at their own eyes, and then pointing them at the Kroot. All of the people there have tactical vests and other gear, along with thermoptic camo set to a generic hunting camo.*
"Frankly, the chupacabra situation has become ridiculous. Wild packs of chupacabras have attacked traveling families, disrupted businesses, and even shut down a major magrail line near Tucson. This is too much and we have had enough."
*the man pulls out a Type 1 phaser, and sets it to kill before declaring*
"Let's get these bastards. No bag limit. NO SURRENDER!"
*To prove he means business, a pack of chupacabras appears almost on cue. The man levels the Type 1 phaser at them, and fires in a wide spread, vaporizing several of them to ash and causing them to run in different directions. Security personnel fire bursts of phaser fire, ripping apart the remainder.*
In addition to the encouragement of civilian hunters to take out the chupacabras, government agencies across the affected regions have been asked to contribute in any way they can. So far, many have chosen to share map data and tracking data involving chupacabra movements, and many local law enforcement and military units have been authorized to "kill on sight" any chupacabra infestations found. Even foreign nationals have been encouraged to join in the hunt if they so desire.
However, critics have emerged in regards to Operation Rollback, the name given to the cull.
*cuts to a scientist in a lab coat with multiple chupacabras in cages, being contained by men with shock prods*
"Does anyone understand that the best way to defeat these things is to, you know, actually capture and study them instead of blowing them up? I mean, for God's sake, we have a species of cryptid that has experienced a sudden resurgence due to what may be the universe's deadliest disruption in dimensional and temporal stability ever known--the Great Cataclysm. We need to figure out how these things are breeding and how and why they're suddenly forming nests in old subway facilities and parks. That to me is a more effective measure than just playing whackamole with them and getting a lot of people killed."
*cuts to images of a pair of gentlemen on Mars. They have heavy repeating blasters set up near a major highway which have what appear to be an array of underbarrel torpedo launchers strapped onto them spewing the odd photon torpedo, and are flinging thousands of bolts of energy downstream at a large herd of chupacabras heading their way. Some of them look bigger than the others, and at least one or two seem to be standing on hind legs and bellowing to the rest.*
Still, as Sgt. McDougal of the Mars Citizens Forces said to us today...
*One of the men operating one of the heavy repeating blasters speaks*
"I'd like to see those fucking eggheads--GET SOME GET SOME!--come down here and pick up--NEED A NEW CHARGE!! GET ME A NEW FUCKING CHARGE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!--some of these assholes for specimens. Fucking--FUCK THE BASTARD, JIM! HOLY SHIT!"
*McDougal ducks, as one of the Standing Chupawhatties throws a hadouken above their heads. McDougal tosses a grenade at the horde of chupacabras, which explodes.*
We will of course, continue to monitor these events.
And finally tonight, in what is proving to be good news for the Haggar Administration, State Department announced today that they will be working with the Consortium to pursue an expanded version of the Steppingstone System outside the Republic. The plan, part of Operation Exodus (the portion of the Dornalian contribution concerned with managing the logistics of Dornalian operations), calls for the expansion of the existing Steppingstone system to trade routes alongside Alpha-Beta Quadrant border, with ultimate plans to each into both quadrants by the time the project is completed. So far, Congress has approved the financing and expansion of the system, which already exists in many parts of hte Republic but also in some parts outside of it currently.
*cuts to footage of a Congressperson, identified as Senator Jane Lautner, Grand National Party, New Star City*
"I voted for the expansion of the Steppingstones, yes. I feel that not only will they do good in the best traditions and values of the Dornalian people, they also seemed to be self-sustaining and may even defend freedom of navigation and trade. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'd like to travel around this galaxy and others without some highwayman calling for me to stand and deliver from a fancy pirate ship."
*cuts to footage of Norton Simons addressing a gaggle of reporters at a news conference*
For his part, Secretary of State Simons had this to say:
"I can say right now that I've spoken with our counterparts from the Consortium, who will be helping us to expand Steppingstone assets further to protect those in need and to help provide security alongside existing trade routes. I can say we haven't begun construction yet--right now, we're having people look around at the local powers, see if they'd be interested in letting us set up Steppingstones to help protect traffic and so on. I'm not going to name names or give away too many details, but I can say we are working with our Consortium partners to begin exploring the region and to pursue potential leads using Naval Corps of Engineers assets."
*reporter asks a question*
"Circe Gaines, New Sapporo Shimbun. Tell me, why the Naval Corps of Engineers? I had heard reports NCE was busy in the Andromeda Galaxy."
*Simons nods*
"Understandable. NCE are our current exports in exploring uncharted regions, and besides being the scientific and engineering sorts, are designed to be more diplomatic and exploratory than the usual Navy task element. Considering how we're going to be potentially dealing with any number of powers using small, inquisitive expeditions for the moment, it was felt that the Navy Corps of Engineers's skillsets in contact management, stellar cartography and so on would be useful in this endeavor."