Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Alanis Star]

Depends
One time we filled a medics ruck with rocks

Wounded soldier: Halp
Medic: No way dude, you put rocks in my ruck.

Be nice to your medics, if not, they’ll leave you to die a painful death.

All of this, from the General Thread "Would you serve in the military?"

[Eol Sha]

anime typing tutor

Here I was expecting Moe-Tan.

BUT IT'S FUCKING INITIAL D, FUCKER.

GAS GAS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS I'M GONNA TYPE ON THE GAS

TONIGHT I'LL FLY AND GET MY WORDS OUT

YEAH YEAH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I'LL TYPE AS QUICK AS A FLASH

AND I'LL BE YOUR STENOGRAPHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

[Dogmeat]

cleans his throat and starts to speak in the most magnificent german accent

Zat is a really good question. However, bevor I begin to explain, I want to take zom time to address a rumor floating around ze game. Zom of you have come to believe zat I like war. I wish to dash zese rumors, I do not like war.

I love war.

Zrough my time on NationStates I have discovered zo many forms of war!

You get up in ze morning, you start to check your GCR und you see zat a notable UCR, which consists of members zat work half as hard as you do, miraculously took over your GCR. Ze Userites then start to eject the natives and exploit the fruits of Feederite labor: Class War.

So you make it to the Rejected Realms, since you obviously got ejected - And you find out that ze Delegate in the Rejected Realms cannot eject you at all! Since you are already pretty frustrated und you just happen to take a puff of your one-hitter after a long and exhausting discussion with your cruel NPO overlord, your intoxicated mind comes up with the idea of a New Rejected Order. Then you prozeed to endotart till kingdom comes, accompanied by the whine of the rejects zat you're actually trying to coup their region: Tartwar

But zen, you realize that you're entirely lacking a banject button yourself in the Rejected Realms und all you can do is to suppress the messages of ze rejects. But zhose natives turn out to be resilient and drown the RMB with recurring messages to stop your tyranny und you actually find yourself in a hard spot to keep the messages supressed. Over and over and over again: Spam War

Even more frustrated, you try to enter the NSGP forums and explain your situation, but zen all of your fellow co-nations start to arguing about whatz right und whatz wrong by simultaneously trying to make each other look bad and/or to trigger a massive emotional reaction from posters: Baitwar

Actually, somebody pulls a threadjack argument that Kaiserreich is not a fascist region, which leads to Kaiserreich natives appearing and calling out ze NationStates forum population to be leftist degenerates: Flamewar

Ze more rule abiding nations of NationStates then post these flames into moderation which leads to a massive amount of redposts - and perhaps even some temporary bans for ze flamers, while ze other side tries to report ze bait: Modwar

You have enough of that topic and see what other content the gameplay forums have to offer. You stumble upon the ramblings of nations zat made moving from region A to region B their main purpose in zis game, some of them to take over entirely irrelevant UCRs and others that have dedicated themselves to the pointless task of just preventing zat: R/D war

Finally you get back to your own RMB und you decide to relax by posting to your fellow nations. But all you can see are two nations that textwall each other with official notifications from their fictional government members on how about they promise each other nuclear eradication: RP war

giggles maliciously

What I am telling you, my dear NationStates community, is that I am a purveyor of war.
And with your help over ze years, ve are now at the precipice of our true goal.
You see, I vant a simple war.

No Class War, no Tart War, no Spam War, no Baitwar, no Flame War, no R/D War, und certainly, no Mod War!
Vhat I vant is a war zhat only, I and my fellow countrymen can bring.
A true war!
A German war!
The sequel y'all ve been... oh..

Ehh... I got carried away. Apologies.
Zat should explain most of the forms of war in NationStates.

Not his own work, unfortunately.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Now if one of those knocked on my door, I would shoot it.

The true, original purpose of the 2nd Amendment.

[Elejamie]

From the Hockey Megathread:

I swear, it did sound like the guy who did the NBC play-by-play was saying "Cindy Crosby". Or maybe it was closer to "Sindney Crosby".

Either way, I never realized that "Sidney" was such a difficult name...

Clearly the NBC announcer should be warned for political nicknaming

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

What? Are you saying that you don't think Mike is Doctor Manhattan?

I think a greater issue is the fact that Peru doesn't even exist, it's a made up country from Paddington Bear - who knows what's really going on in this administration.. why they have to keep making things up.

[Reploid Productions]

Not his own work, unfortunately.

True that, but it's still a pretty well-executed NS-flavored rendition of TFS's version of the war speech.

[Luziyca]

You'll be glad to know we've preserved all 206 of your original posts here - oft we read them for the innate wisdom and everlasting impact on these boards.

Some guy with a couple hundred posts triumphantly announced his return to NS.

[Tinhampton]

On (Queen) Yuno:

Influential game player. Said to be involved in many regions.

Understatement of the year!

She rules two of the feeder regions!

She is a goddess among mortals!

She is the greatest thing to ever happen to NS!

---

Meanwhile, on another thread entitled "Mods tell us about yourself..." (if you do not understand this, you will not understand what is to follow)

I am.. not actually a moderator.

[Zanera]

Not really.

It's become relatively commonplace in the United States; it's far less common in other Anglophone countries. That's likely why several of the UK-based posters in this thread have expressed skepticism about this assertion.

And it's by no means universal in the United States. For example, it's still common for major professional archaeology societies - such as the one I serve as an editor for - to insist on AD / BC in their style guides.

Clearly these archaeology societies are living in the past.

[Estlobies]

I'm obsessed with socialism to a very healthy extent. I get my daily recommenced amount of socialism everyday.

[Tinhampton]

((OOC: I have no problem with GA authors assuming a strict MT baseline, and I generally do so in my own work. Accordingly, contemporary real world examples take primacy in terms of determining what constitutes an international issue and how best to go about dealing with it.))

TALKING SPACE CAT: Oh noes, but then (crying, tears roll down face) how will we accede to the demands of hyper-advanced nations with intergalactic travel which have subjugated all other life in their multiple universes? How will we then be able to reject without evidence, or reject with concocted make-believe evidence, the tangible results from the implementation of certain policies?! You mean to destroy the WA!

[Farnhamia]

Tree sex is rough.

Let the record show that TET once said the word "Tree sex."

Trees have morning, evening, and all night wood.

[Genivaria]

You cannot win the French ladies (and monarchy) over without the guy with the raccoon-skin cap.

Jefferson: *Writing in his diary.* Day 30...I’m still in Paris. With Ben. Paris would be much better if we weren’t just here on a diplomatic mission...and well...I can’t complain about-

*Wine bottle breaks in the other room.*

Franklin: “WOOOOOOOO PARTY TIME!!!!!”
Jefferson: *Bangs on the wall.* “PIPE IT DOWN!...” I can’t complain about Ben...except when he’s-

Franklin: “WHERE THOSE FINE FRENCH BAGUETTES AT? LADIEEEEEEEES, DRINKS ON ME!!!!”

Jefferson: “BEN! FOR THE LOVE OF...oh wait, I’m a Deist...BEN SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP.” *Bangs on the wall again.* ...Except when he thinks he’s Mike Sorrentino on the beaches of New Jersey, surrounded by too many women and as much wine as the amount of tea we threw in the harbor...If he wasn’t such a chum, I would be tempted to bring Hamilton...and I would rather go to Hell first...

Franklin: “LEMME SHOW YOU HOW THE FIRST POSTMASTER GENERAL GETS DOWN! I CALL THIS ONE THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION.”

*Bad Boy For Life by P Diddy plays in the other room. Girls are cheering and the bass is shaking the hotel.*

Jefferson: ...Perhaps I might also like to go deaf too, first... *Bangs on the wall.* “I’M TELLING GEORGE WHEN WE GET HOME.”

[Diarcesia]

Quick question I should have asked before. Is your capital even accessible by water? If not, I'll arrive by something else besides a royal barge.

I guess you don't want to barge in like that if the capital isn't coastal ;U. Anyways, I'll probably have my guy come in soon.

[Frieden-und Freudenland]

Currently unemployed and have no intention to get a job and support a gynocentric society.

*lives with his mother*

[Valgora]

Like the UN could really do anything about it.

They could write a very strongly worded letter.

Like the UN could really do anything about it.

They made the great Max Barry change the name of the World Assembly. Nobody's beyond their reach.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Collective punishment is never relevant.

You clearly don't go to the right kind of adult clubs.....

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

How is injecting them with diseases in their best interest? The answer is it's not as simple as that, as you well know.

Phrasing can do a lot and you know I've been around long enough not to fall for that Gallo.

So what? Poverty is like a commicable disease? If you give them small doses of poor as children they'll develop antibodies against empty bank accounts?

[Auze]

Because the fight is a just cause.

Despite the millions appearing to believe otherwise, "just cause" is not a synonym for "specific sections of dead pig corpses".

[Auze]

Can’t read the article

It takes two minutes to create a free account with a fake email address, fake real address, and false identity.

I'm a megapastor named Peter Pumpkinhead who lives in the White House.

[Reploid Productions]

A giggle from Gameplay regarding Lazarus becoming a Christian region:

We have long been ostracised from NationStates communities. Surely we have the right to claim for our own a region named after one of our saints?

Indeed, just as soon as Osiris is seized by ancient Egyptian gods and Balder is taken over by the Rogaine Republic.

[Wallenburg]

simply the low amount of time the draft spent in the forum?

"It's not soup until all of the other chefs have had a chance to pee in it. The GA has an awful lot of chefs, with an awful lot of pee. Next time, give the other chefs a shot at making changes, and actually listen to them. Some of those ideas may make the soup smell less like pee."

[The Federation of Kendor]

Absolutely, they give your population +4 happiness. I hate it when the AI tries to ban luxury goods via the world congress.

The player's answer to the thread's question, should luxury good exist? He answered with a Civilizations reference

[Petrasylvania]

What if a hot dog is put inside a hamburger?

(Image)

Some people might take offense, because of the sexual imagery such a deviant act inevitably invokes. Other people are probably discovering something about themselves this very moment for exactly the same reason.