Water Polo International Championship 3 - Everything Thread

[West Phoenicia]

The West Phoenician Mermen have started off the Water Polo International Championships 3rd edition on a positive note scoring a win against the United Celtic Peoples with a final score of 11-8.


The Mermen went in with an aura of dominating the match. The United Celtic Peoples were a new team with skills and tactics. Always an issue for a team who strieves to win with the concern that a new unranked nation could upset West Phoenicia's chance to reach the finals.

Scott Mare who for the third consecutive event was voted in as team captain did not let the team down by scoring 6 of the 11 goals.
Other scorers for the Mermen were Mike Lei with 3 goals. David Alcatraz with 1 goal and Luis Salvador with 1 goal.

West Phoenician fans were estatic from the stands as they cheered there guys onto victory and were rewarded with photo opportunities and autograph signing.

The Mermen have become one of the most popular sport teams throughout West Phoenicia followed by the Confederates the nations baseball team. Both teams and their positive outcomes are putting West Phoenicia on the international radar.


Quarter Results;



1st Quarter: 3-1. 2nd Quarter 7-3. 3rd Quater 9-6. 4th Quarter 11-8.



West Phoenician player of the Day: Scott Mare, for scoring 6 of the 11 goals.


The Mermen will next take on New Lusitania.

[Nakad]

NAKAD NATIONAL SPORTING NEWS
The Skinny Dippers are back!

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"And now to the sporting news," announced Nakadian news anchor, Harold Sharp. Both he and female co-anchor, Felicity Gilliam turned to another man with a pair sunglasses. This was Barry Barlowe, the sports anchor. Apart from the sunglasses and some jewellery all three anchors were completely naked as was the custom and law in Nakad.

"I hear our national water polo team has made quite an opening start," added Felicity.

Barry chuckled. "Yes indeed, Felicity. The Skinny Dippers are back with a vengeance. Skipping the second annual water polo championship to train seems to have paid off after coming fourth place in the first championship with Nakad dominating their first game against the Main Nation Ministry eleven to four points. A rather interesting match up with a team of naked players facing off against a team fully decked out in jumpsuits. It seems less is more in this case with the Ministry leading the game at the beginning until Naked came back aggressively in the second half, leading by seven points.

As Barry talked, several clips from the game would be shown on screen. Then would shift back to the newsroom.

"Lets hope the Dippers continue this spectacular performance as the championship continues. Back to you Harold."

"Thanks, Barry. After the break, small tensions with Allied States of New Edom over the Homofront terror attacks."

[Newmanistan]

Zack Stiller and Chris Rossi are hanging out in the lobby, not doing much of anything when they notice a limo pull up to the front door.

Stiller: Nice ride.

Rossi: Yeah, gotta be someone important.

(Three men get out, carrying duffle bags, and then a young woman wearing a sky blue business suit with matching heels climbs out. Initially, they can only see her backside).

Stiller: Damn, you see the chick?

Rossi: Hell yeah, how could I not see her.

Stiller: We need to hit on her, badly. We're athletes now, supposedly, we can use that to our advantage.

Rossi: Yeah, but who are the guys?

Stiller: They need to disappear, and its perfect, look at her choice of outfit. Sky blue, perfect!

(The young woman turns around, so they can see it who it is)

Rossi & Stiller (in unison): TAYLOR!!!

Rossi: No, flippin' way. Are you kidding me.

Stiller: Stay calm, Chris. Relax, we don't want to look desperate.

Rossi: She's here for us, man. This shit is getting real now. Why else would she be checking into this hotel? We don't have to hit on her. She might hit on us.

Stiller: I saw her first.

Rossi: No you didn't!

Stiller: You know what's even cooler about having the chance to be interviewed by Taylor Larson, having her cover us, and maybe more, is that the Rocket Report cares. I mean, even after we won the Baptism of Water, there was no one who cared.

Rossi: You seriously think we can make money actually playing water polo? I mean, I'm starting to enjoy playing it now.

Stiller: Yeah man, hook us up with one of those nations that actually has a league.

Rossi: They're done checking in. Wait, where are you going?

(Stiller walks away, and approaches Taylor Larson)

Stiller (to Larson): Nice outfit, like the color, would you like help with the bag?

Cameraguy with her: She'll be fine, thanks.

Larson (to Cameraguy): Relax, he's just being nice.

Stiller: Thanks, Taylor.

Larson: So, you know who I am?

Stiller: Of course, and I know why you are here.

Larson: Cool, I don't usually get noticed outside of Newmanistan. You here to watch the water polo games?

Stiller: No.

Larson: Oh. I wouldn't watch water polo either, but I got to take my assignments where I can get them.

Stiller: I understand. Actually, I am here to play water polo. I am Zack Stiller, part of the team.

Larson (feeling embarrassed): Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult your sport.

Stiller (laughing): We hardly knew what it was either. Apparently, we're pretty good at it.

Larson (Laughs): Yeah, you guys seem to be doing really well.

Stiller: How about we talk more about it at dinner. Meet me down here at 8?

Larson: Sure, I'd love too.

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

FEDERAÇÃO LUSITANA DE PÓLO AQUATICO
3° Campeonato Internacional de Pólo Aquático
TRIGRAMME : LUS

Nickname: "Os Adamastores"
Current Record: P4 W2 D1 L1
Head Coach : Paulo Salinas
Assistant Coach: Jorge da Cruz

Team Brought to the Equestrian States
Equipa para o Torneio nos Estados Equestrianos

01. GK João Salvaterra (22, Física Torres)
27. GK António Peixoto (18, Sporting Lusitania)

03. D Bruno Macedo de Sousela (24, Infante 1936)
14. D Rui Anadia (22, Desportivo Cádiz)
15. D Pedro Machado (21, Clérigos Porto)
17. D João Carvalho (17, Universitário Lx)

32. C Fernando Borba (23, Defensores Torres)
18. C Tomás Águeda (20, Sevilha PAC)
22. C André Machado (26, Aveirense )
24. C Carlos Romão (22, Ultramarino)

21. ATK Simão Vitorino (21, PC Porto)
26. ATK Francisco Leires (24, Monumental Lisboa)
28. ATK Pedro Vasques (25, Málaga)
31. ATK A.Peixinho Santos (21, Monumental Lisboa)

EXTENDED RESERVES
99. GK Pedro Alcântara ( 26, Sta.Cruz e Vimeiro)
29.. D Tobias Oliveira ( 19, CDS Málaga)
32. C Filomena Apolónia (24, F, Setúbal)
34. C João Castelar (22, Belenenses)
36 ATK Afonso de Brito (21, Académica Coimbra)

RP Permissions
Godmod Goalscoring Events: Yes, within limits.
Injure Players: Yes
Godmod Injury Events: No
Godmod Other Events: No

[Darkmania]

"We won. Something." The team manager is confused over the fact that Darkmania, ranked the worst WP team, won over someone. It maybe Undarat, who debuts at WPIC, but at least the crappy Darkmanian team won something." This. Is.... What the f*** just happened?"

"I`m sure this will break the glass-ceiling we experience we have and move up the ranks." One of the players adds. "So who is next?"

"I don't know. The hosts of these kinds of events are always vague. Not sure. Mabye _____..."

[Banija]

Part I: The Beginning

Puritan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: Converting The Chief

The setting is ancient Herzegovina City, Moravica, Banija, in the year 1616. The original capitol of the Kasanke Tribe, their Shujaas, or chiefs, are the ancestors of Bania's current line of Kabakas, or Kings. They are Banija's current majority ethnic group, with approximately 61% of Banians being a member of the group. This is 2 years after the last installment of this series

Kirunda Museveni was finally finished. He had worked, twice a week, for two years, to write down the words from the golden plates. On the first day, in 1614, God had sent down an angel- his name was Prophert Shango. He was God's messenger, and he translated the words that Kirunda Musveni could not read- all of them. "Kirunda, these words are in the language of the Mormon people. Not of God," Shango had told him. "No man is worthy to see the language of God while on Earth, but only in Heaven." Kirunda Museveni and his wife had worked hard, for two years, and had finally finished.

Now, of course, what were they supposed to do with all these pages, once they made it into a book? Simply give it away? Start telling people what they had heard? They decided to sleep on it, and continue to wait for Shango's instructions. He was not going to be capable of preaching this word- essentially, he would need God to intervene. They sat, and waited a week. A week turned into two weeks. Two weeks turned into a month. Eventually, they grew frustrated.

"Kirunda!" Said Mirellie. She was growing tired of waiting. "What are we going to do with this book? God can't have given this to us to simply wait. We need to go!"

"No, we need to wait honey!" Said Kirunda. "God brought us golden plates that we didn't understand- how do we explain this to people? We must wait." And so they waited. And then, with time passing to nearly 10 weeks after they finished, Shango came down and told them to go outside. They went outside, and saw the angel, and bowed.

"Kirunda! Mirellie!" Said Shango. "God has promised salvation to the world, and he has promised it through your people. God shall deliver you people from destruction, and God shall deliver all the people of this land- the Kasanke, and your neighbors. You shall no longer be called the Kasanke- God will give you a name worthy of being the new chosen people of God. But first, you must preach to your leader. Bring Kabanero here! In three nights, I will show myself to your Shujaa. But you must not speak of the Truth. God has not given you permission to speak of him, or his actions, Not yet." And with that, the angel departed.

Kirunda looked at his wife. He was actually worried. Would he be able to bring Kabonero III here? What would he say? And, of course, the cruciality of bringing Kabonero III here without speaking of why? He'd have to make something up. But what would be a reason that would get across the urgency of the message? Regardless, he had to go try. So two days later, he trekked up to Mujaguzo, the residence of the Shujaa. "My brother!" Kirunda exclaimed as he embraced his chief.

"Kirunda!" Replied Kabonero III. As Shujaa, he wasn't home that often- he was often out hunting, or fighting, battles with neighboring tribes. He had so happened to be free today. "What brings you to this house? I haven't seen you in two years." And it was true. Kirunda had not left his home for a night at any time during the translation of the golden plates, provided by the angel.

"Kabonero..." Kirunda stammered. He wasn't sure how to say this. "Kabonero-"

"It is Shujaa Kabonero, Kirunda." Replied the Shujaa. "Shujaa Kabonero III. You know my title. Just because you are my brother, does not mean you get to disrespect me."

"I apologize, Shujaa." Replied Kirunda. Now he was nervous. He was already off on the wrong foot. "Shujaa, I need you to return to me to my house tonight."

"Why would I?" Replied the Shujaa. "Greater men than me have died visiting places for no good reason- you remember how our father died? Killed by the leopard when he went out for a lone leopard kill? Poor man was 47. Way too old to go out for a lone hunt."

"Yes, I do." Said the Kirunda. "But it is extremely important. Regardless, we are brothers. You haven't seen my wife in years. You can take a break for a day, right? We could do things that brothers do. Go on a hunt together, maybe? Get ourselves some fresh pork, killed by the Shujaa himself? It wouldn't be a terrible idea. Plus, you don't live too far, I stay in Herzegovina City, of course."

"Why don't you and your wife come here?" Replied Kabonero III. "I would be able to give you and your wife a house worthy of a chief."

"Exactly!" Said Kirunda. "When was the last time you stayed in one of our houses? This would be good for you, to come out and see a little more. Besides- my house is right next to the best recreation hunting spot in all of Kasanke." And that was true. Kabonero III finally agreed to go, and called to his son, Albert. Albert was placed in charge, and Kabonero III was excited. He was going to have a vacation. For once in his life.

They walked over to the house, and Mirellie had a big meal prepared for her husband and her brother-in-law. Her husband had caught a goat that very morning, and the goat meat being eaten was delicious. With Kabonero III there, they went to turn in early. "Why would you go to bed so early, brother?" Asked Kabonero III. "Aren't I the older one? Shouldn't you want to stay up all night?" Kabonero III said, chuckling.

"We're waking up early tomorrow1" Said Kirunda. "Just trust me, the animals don't expect you at 6 AM."

"You have a point!" Said Kabonero III. And with that, of course, they went to sleep. Now, they heard the voice at 3 AM. While Kirunda and Mirellie were used to it by now, Kabonero III was not used to it. "What was that? Did you say something?" Kabonero III said groggily.

"Kabonero, we're going outside." Said Kirunda. And all of them got up, and walked outside. They walked towards the tree, where the angel was, and the golden plates were. They were fully visible right now, and Kabonoero III was staring at them.

"Behold, Shujaa! The Power of God!" Said Prophet Shango. And as Kabonero III looked up in astonishment, the plates rose. "I have been sent by Yahweh today, to provide salvation to the world. You are the leader of the Kasanke! Your forefathers, the father of your father of your father, exactly 400 years ago, wiped out the people of God. But as it is written- ''My people, the people of Mormon, shall leave me, lose my protection, and I will not deliver them from the guillotines of their foes. But from their foes, the men of God shall rise, and salvation shall be brought to all the Earth'. God's people abandoned him, and God did not deliver them from their foes- which was Kizza I."

"But God's salvation shall be delivered through the foes of his people!" Cried Prophet Shango. "I have spoken to your brother. I shall declare him the priest, the bridge from man to God. But you! You shall unite this land! You must convert your people, tell your people to believe. Do you see these plates? These are the plates of God's people. This is God's word. I have translated it for your brother. You now have seen the plates- we have our witnesses. I shall summon the plates." And just like that, the golden plates rose up into the sky, until they were invisible.

"Kabonero, you have seen. But only three have seen! It takes true faith to believe without seeing. And now that I have done my job, it is time for you to do yours- lead. At that point, Shujuaa, I shall granted the unified land a name worthy of the people of God. And if you do this, and maintain God's word, God will deliver you from your foes. You have heard my word. We will not speak again until your task is done. And if you fail in your task, your people shall suffer the same fate as the people of Mormon." And with that, the angel disappeared.

The three had to all take a moment and take in what was said. "Kirunda", started Kabonero III. "Was that an angel? God's messenger? What must we do?"

'Well, Shujaa, he clearly give us a task. We must conquer our neighbors." Replied Kirunda.

"In this land. What is this land? Who are we conquering?" Replied Kabonero III. "Ahh, our neighbors? We've never been able to do that! We've tried countless times, but have settled our borers. We've created a peace. We cannot-"

"Kabonero! You saw his power. Do you doubt the Word of God? Do as he says, and you will be remembered." Replied Kirunda. With that, the conversation was over. Kabonero III strolled back to his house the next morning. He did not hunt, he was not hungry. How would he wage those wars? While he gave his official sanction, the much harder task would be to bring war to his neighbors. Would he be capable of doing so? Could he win wars that previous Shujaas have tried, but none have succeeded? He deliberated that, as the fate of all of the neighbors of the Kasanke rested in his hands...

[Main Nation Ministry]

Somewhere in the Ministry of Sports

"Ok, listen up! We have lost our first match with a bunch of streakers and nudists. You do realize that if we have more failures, all of your military ranks will be demoted! Now, we need to analyse the enemy, in case we are forced into another match with them. Rewinding the footage, we can see that while the first half was going smoothly, the rival team has went aggressive on us. They have caught us off-guard and we all not going to let that stand! Do you understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Now, there is nothing wrong with our jumpsuits. They were designed to be water-resistant and capable on behaving as a typical swimsuit. The type you use, when you're going surfing. We are to think up a new strategy for future matches. The best bet is to go all-out at the second half of the match. Do you all understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Sir, I have a quick quest-"

"You not supposed to ask questions, soldier!"

[Todd McCloud]

Vekaiyu Takes Care of Business, But Looks a Bit Flat
A special edition from Vekaiyu's Codexian (read: OOC language like English) paper, The Ivessi Outreach Click here for Unonian Language Version

In what may be one of the more difficult groups in the Third Water Polo International Championships, Group B, Vekaiyu did their best to assert their position as one of the top clubs in the known universe by handling Qasden through the entirety of four periods, winning what was a noticeably slow-paced game by an 8-6 score. It was a divorce from their performance during the second championship, where the team immediately established itself as a defensive powerhouse, yielding a stingy 26 goals over the course of the group matches and holding Kebec to just four goals in the semifinal round. Vekaiyu, which relies heavily on the technique of sloughing, that is, intentionally fouling an opponent in order to force the offended player into a free throw while at the same time crowding the hole set and hopefully steal a pass for a quick offensive snipe, found their tactic didn't work quite as well, as the goalie, Reko Severu, seemed a bit rusty. Incidentally, this tactic actually made the score closer than it should have been, which is a risk when running this kind of strategy, but for the all-vulpine team, it is necessary.

This doesn't mean Reko Severu's job is in jeopardy. Recall the previous competition where Vekaiyu adopted a modular strategy and routinely swapped starters for bench players. Ikrisia Voleru, who is smaller and less powerful than her male counterpart, instead relies on movement and quick turns to defend her net. She is often used for finesse teams, while Reko is utilized for power teams, and so on. It makes practice and chemistry a bit more difficult than normal squads, but for Vekaiyu, film is everything, and knowing their enemy often determines just how they will stack up against them. It's not so much about star players as it is strategy and playing by the percentages.

In other words, the Vekaiyun way of Water Polo.

But therein lies the problem. Vekaiyu has two unranked and un-played teams in their division, and therefore has limited understanding of their playing style. One such team, from the quiet and supposedly democratic nation of Undarat, is next on the docket. For such occasions, Vekaiyu adopts a new strategy - little to no substitutions in the first quarter, followed by adjustments leading into the second quarter. In general, and we learned this from the last competition, if Vekaiyu plays in front in the first quarter, there's a good chance they will rout.

"Many nations seem to play different than what we're used to back home," Sayli Lupestre, defender, commented after the unusually close game against Qasden. "It's all about power and less about passing. I get it, we're not these massively muscly brutes who can chuck a ball across the area at a fast clip, we're more about rapid passing, rapid movement, and less on just pelting people with the ball. It gets annoying after a while."

But part of the reason why Vekaiyu has succeeded in this competition and in countless Olympiads is due to their unique play style. They play a Vekaiyun game, in a game that's not quite Vekaiyun, but more of an international flair. Underwater Hockey, of course, is decidedly Vekaiyun in nature and tends to favor the vulpine way of aquatic sporting.

[Aggrey-Fynn Land]

LANDER SPORTS NETWORK

Your plug for all things sport.

LPA ANNOUNCE NEW WATER POLO LEAGUE

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Landers everywhere were delighted to hear when Aggrey-Fynn Land got third in the second WPIC. Although it is a relatively new sport on the multiversal stage, many were excited by the chance to be the top dogs of a sport. Upon the LSA (Lander Sports Authority) discovering that Aggrey-Fynn Land held some of the best water polo players in the world, they quickly established the LPA (Lander Polo Association) to regulate the quickly-growing sport. Jacob Valeri was appointed the head of the organization. He made it clear that his first and primary goal was to establish a water-polo league that attracted talent from across the multiverse while developing domestic players. He said the league would start at 8 teams, from the biggest cities in Aggrey-Fynn Land. After negotiations with private shareholders and local government, Valeri confirmed the 8 teams competing in the inaugural season:

Enarco Ravens
Euphoria Vampires
Paradise Admirals
Samueltown Victory
Sharma Guardians
Sunnyside Sunrise
Trillville Diamonds
Viz Dragons

The 8 teams will play each other 4 times every season, making for 28 regular-season games. The top 4 teams will go into the playoffs, with 1st place playing 4th place and 2nd place playing 3rd place in a home-and-away playoff format. The winners of the game will compete in the playoff championship.

The one flaw in this idea appears to be that the Dunnes Water Polo Federation is also looking to the multiverse for water polo talent. Many news outlets, including we here at the Lander Sports Network had many questions about this new league, and we got some of them answered in a press conference following Aggrey-Fynn Land's 11-7 victory over Greater Vakolicci Haven. When Valeri heard of the Dunnes WPL's plans to also open their league to foreign players, he appeared unfazed. "Who cares? We are third in the world, and they are 20th. When it comes to attracting talent, I have no qualms that players will come to Aggrey-Fynn Land before they even think about playing in Dunnes." When asked about the "sizable paychecks" being advertised by the league, he said "Water polo has become big business in a matter of months here. We've been able to line up private businesses and get them to invest into Lander water polo. According to polls that have been taken by the LSA, water polo is the second most popular sport behind soccer. If we have another good showing in the WPIC, I expect even more investment and revenue. I'm sure we'll be able to offer competitive wages." Another hot topic was the assertion by the DWPF that Dunnes housed the "finest venues" in the multiverse. Jacob Valeri retorted, "The third place finish in the WPIC 2 prompted many local governments and private benefactors to improve the aquatic complexes in their city, either to renovate it to include modern amenities, or to include water-polo only facilities. I'm sure that as water polo grows bigger, and the team reaches new heights of success, the facilities will be improved as needed." To end the interview, he noted "Aggrey-Fynn Land and Dunnes are in Group D. You'll get to see the teams face off. More importantly, you'll see the top players of the Dunnes WPL and the Lander Star League face off. Let's see how that game goes, and then come back and ask me if I'm worried about attracting talent."

OOC: The Lander Star League is starting its' first season following the WPIC 3. If your players are interested in playing in the 3rd-best country at Water Polo, please TG this country (Humans only). Add their name, age, experience, bio/summary about them, and any extra information you think is important. Although applications will likely be accepted on a first come, first serve basis, due to LPA regulations putting a cap on the amount of players each team can carry, some applications may be rejected in order for the teams to be able to sign the best talent possible. Depending on the amount of foreign interest, the cap may be lifted.

[Equestrian States]

WATER POLO INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS III
Match Day 2 Results

Group A

Razenthuria 10–6 Azadeshia
Kita-Hinode 10–8 Philamer Isle
Equestrian States 9–4 Banija

  Group A                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Equestrian States            2   2  0  0   18   9  +9    6
2 Razenthuria                  2   1  0  1   15  15   0    3
3 Banija                       2   1  0  1   12  14  −2    3
4 Kita-Hinode                  2   1  0  1   15  16  −1    3
5 Azadeshia                    2   1  0  1   17  19  −2    3
6 Philamer Isle                2   0  0  2   17  21  −4    0

---

Group B

Main Nation Ministry 9–4 Darkmania
Vekaiyu 14–8 Undarat
Nakad 6–4 Qasden

  Group B                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Nakad                        2   2  0  0   17   8  +9    6
2 Vekaiyu                      2   2  0  0   22  14  +8    6
3 Main Nation Ministry         2   1  0  1   13  15  −2    3
4 Darkmania                    2   1  0  1   13  15  −2    3
5 Qasden                       2   0  0  2   10  14  −4    0
6 Undarat                      2   0  0  2   14  23  −9    0

---

Group C

Bjornoya Islands 11–7 Huri de Wintre
United Celtic Peoples 4–11 Newmanistan
New Lusitania 4–8 West Phoenicia

  Group C                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Newmanistan                  2   2  0  0   22   9 +13    6
2 West Phoenicia               2   2  0  0   19  12  +7    6
3 New Lusitania                2   1  0  1   15  15   0    3
4 Bjornoya Islands             2   1  0  1   18  18   0    3
5 Huri de Wintre               2   0  0  2   12  22 −10    0
  United Celtic Peoples        2   0  0  2   12  22 −10    0

---

Group D

Northwest Kalactin 4–7 Dunnes
Aggrey-Fynn Land 8–5 Devonta
Slashka 5–10 Greater Vakolicci Haven

  Group D                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Aggrey-Fynn Land             2   2  0  0   19  12  +7    6
2 Dunnes                       2   2  0  0   18  11  +7    6
3 Northwest Kalactin           2   1  0  1   16  14  +2    3
4 Greater Vakolicci Haven      2   1  0  1   17  16  +1    3
5 Devonta                      2   0  0  2   12  19  −7    0
6 Slashka                      2   0  0  2   12  22 −10    0

[Main Nation Ministry]

The Truth News

Main Nation Ministry beats Darkmania 9-4

"In water polo today, in the current WPIC, Main Nation Ministry have managed to pull off a perfect victory against rival team Darkmania. Using some strategy that was learned from a past match, our team have managed to defeat the rival match in water polo with some newly learned skills. Credit has been given to Head Coach Lieutenant Evan Sullivan and Assistant Coach Lieutenant Adruis Lume. More on Page 9."

[West Phoenicia]

The West Phoenician Mermen have sparkled again at the Water Polo International Championships 3rd edition scoring another win. This time against New Lusitania where the scores ended up being 8-4.


The Mermen are becoming increasing confident with each new win. The number 1 ranked team in the league owes their success to extra training in the pool and a hard team building regime that team coach Paul Heavenwood instills on his players.

The tight knit group firmly believe hard training regimes which start at 5am with a swim in icy water. Followed by gym time of weights and cardio and a solid out of prayer to whichever God, goddess or Animal deity they choose to worship are the secret to their success.

Scott Mare again stood out from among the Mermen, scoring 4 of the 8 goals. With his contract up after the end of this edition of water polo may gossip magazines are wondering if Scott Mare will sitn a new contract with West Phoenicia or sign up with a new team. Scott Mare has said while West Phoenicia is in his heart, if the price is right he would switch.


Other scorers for the Mermen were Mike Lei with 2 goals .Kamal Singh with 1 goal and Moussa Deballas with 1 goal.


West Phoenician fans were estatic from the stands as usual as they cheered there guys onto victory against New Lusitania. Waving the traditional colours of West Phoenicia purple, navy blue and gold.

"West Phoenicia definitely has the best and most loyal fans in the world.," Coach Paul Heavenwood reported in a post game interview. "If it wasn't for them the Mermen would not where they are. Number 1 ranked in the world."



Quarter Results;



1st Quarter: 2-2. 2nd Quarter 4-2. 3rd Quater 6-3. 4th Quarter 8-4



West Phoenician player of the Day: Josiah Gryphon, member of the Gryphon nobility for excellent stamina among all four quarters. Excellent goal keeper work in blocking half of the New Lusitania goal shots.

The Mermen will next take on Bjornoya Islands the number 31 ranked team in the Water Polo International Championships league where they hope a big win will push them to the number 1 ranked spot in their grouping letting them sail straight through to the quarter-finals.

[Philamer Isle]

The Philamerians have lost twice in a row, against Azadeshia and Kita-Hinode. Past the second set of games, the team sits bottom of the group with zero wins to show. Their remaining matches will not be easier as they have Razenthuria, Banija, and the hosts, Equestrian States in their group.

But coach Willis has told his troops to stay calm and collected.

"You'll get your first victory."

The Philamerians are a mix of Philipo, Amerigons, Slavic, and Korean descents. Despite the differences in their ethnicities, a one united Philamerian team will hope to win their remaining games, whch still may be a tough task for coach Willis and his wards.

[Darkmania]

Main Nation Ministry beats Darkmania.

---

MNM destroyed Darkmania in a 9-4 match, mirroring the stereotype the darkmanian team is the worst ranked team. The darkmanian team are aware of this, and aims to climb up the ranks.

"We f***ed up this time, but its just the 2nd match round. After all, we are 4th out of 6 in our group. So we will be fine. I look forward to our next foe, ______" Team boss says while wearing his traitemark "We Kick Ass, Or You Kick Our Ass"-cap.

[Greater vakolicci haven]

Ready for the Galos Konti treatment in stereo?
Amara Galos Konti to join her sister Savenna at WPIC3

Their is only really one superstar on the Havenic water polo team, and the rest of them will admit it. Only one player who would probably make it into a list of the 'top 10 water polo players in the world' or other such lists, one player who would be instantly recogniseable wherever in the Haven she goes. This player is Savenna Galos Konti.
When she was injured, the previously undefeated team lost. When she came back, she won again; this is how much this team relies on this vercetile attacker to function: until now, of course.

Her younger sister has finally passed through the youth ranks and is now available for selection, and surprise surprise she has been duely selected onto the team. Amara, who is generally regarded to be nearly as good as Savenna will take over the other wing and hopes to make the Havenic squad an unpredictable and aggressive force in the pool; she believes that the place to be is challenging for the title rather than just the group winners. Read on below to discover the full squad heading off to the equestrian states.

Greater Vakolicci Haven, international water polo team
Head Coch Martino Parelien
Captain: Savenna Galos Konti
Assistant coaches, Jacob Billworthy and Christina Kale.

---

*indicates starter
GK: Alexander Potuirin *
GK: Antonius Velair
LB: Juanarhl nos Icuiramv*
LB: Charlotte Brinkler
CB: Daniel Beltrose*
CB: Juliana Vespor
RB: Lucia Zikahuil*
RB: Jean Verut
RW: Savenna Galos Konti*
RW: Pierre Overliau
LW: Amara Galos Konti*
LW: Celia Burk
FW: Isiah Connington*
FW: Paul Clocker

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL - SERVIÇOS DE TRANSMISSÃO LUSITANA | Pólo Aquático
3º Campeonato Internacional de Pólo Aquático

CANTERFORD, EQUESTRIAN STATES: The team arrived on Sunday night, about 9 PM local time (3AM Lisbon time), where the few fans already there greeted them at the Airport. Salinas and former player Da Cruz, command the team once more, and held a press conference shortly after their arrival, saying:
"We have a good chance, we didn't do to badly our first time, I reckon we could do better on our second venture".
The team has been in a small town West of the capital, in the countryside, where António Clérigos, part of the team, says the Fresh air might do some good.

Matchday 1: New Lusitania 11-7 Bjornoya Is.

The massive pavillion in the capital was swarming with fans from all corners of the globe for this match. New Lusitania, who just missed out in their previous tournament to qualify for the knockouts; against debutants Bjornnoya Islands.
The game was evenly contested, with ample chances for both teams. Although the Adamastors came out on top, Salinas credited the adversary.

NEW LUSITANIA
GK Salvaterra
RB Macedo de Sousela
CB Anadia
LB Macedo (3 Goals)
RW Borba (2 Goals)
LW Romão (2 Goals)
FW Peixinho (4 Goals)

BJORNOYA ISLANDS
GK #1 Zorin Mikhailovich
RB #4 Roy Markussen 
CB #7 Kåre Melberg 
LB #8 Yngvar Melberg 
RW #6 Emskikh Andreevich (3 Goals)
LW #3 Aslak Valla (2 Goals)
FW #5 Bernt Istre (2 Goals)

Matchdays 2 & 3 coming soon.

MMXVII STL

[Newmanistan]

Zack Stiller and Taylor Larson have a chat. (Not an official public interview)

Larson: It's a pleasure to meet you. Zack, it was?

Stiller: Yes. The pleasure is all mine, Taylor. I can't believe this is happening.

Larson: Well you guys got off to a good start, tell me a little bit about your water polo career and all that stuff.

Stiller: There is no career. Really. I am just a marketing executive from Dover City. And don't yell me, last reporter I told that too, some guy from Centralia, thought I was bullshitting him and stopped talking to me. Seriously, Taylor, believe me. I can't believe that I have this opportunity to talk to you. I mean, you're amazing.

Larson (laughs): I've hardly done anything yet, but thanks.

Stiller: I mean, you're gorgeous, and you're famous, and you traveled from Newmanistan to watch me play a game I never even played until all this began.

Larson (blushing): Thanks Zack, it's nice for people to talk to me normally sometimes. I don't consider myself famous. Other people at the Rocket Report have done a lot more then I have.

Stiller: I think you're amazing.

Larson: Thanks. So, I don't understand though when you say you have never played water polo. I mean you guys are a team, you're representing the Empire, and you're winning games.

Stiller: Never played. None of us did. Want to know the story?

Larson: Yeah, please.

Stiller: We were just here in Equestrian States to watch the finals of the World Baseball Classic. We all put together the money to spend here, watch the games. We had amazing parties after we won, we didn't want to go right home. We had some time so we just hung out here a little longer. Then we heard that there was a last second need for a new nation to join a water polo tournament right here in Canterlot. At first it was joke when we told ourselves that we should just say we're going to represent Newmanistan. Then it got more serious. We applied, the Emperor approved, and all of the sudden we were a team.

Larson: Oh wow. But you are doing so good. You won that Baptism of, what was it?

Stiller: Baptism of Water.

Larson: Yeah, the Baptism of Water

Stiller: We joke that we did so good in it that they're never gonna hold another one!

Larson (laughs): But how are you beating teams. Some of these nations have very serious water polo teams?

Stiller: Ya know we were talking about that and I think its just because we just play. We don't go into strategies. Or formations. Or scouting people, or all that crap. We just friggin', play. It's a simple game, you're in a pool, there's a ball, and you shoot it in the net.

Larson: So like, there's no pressure on you, so you just have fun.

Stiller: Yeah there's no aquatic club. Just think Taylor. Aquatic clubs exist. How lame is that?

Larson (laughs): I dunno.

Stiller: There's no league. There's no one who cares in Newmanistan, well not until now. We just react, you know. Get the ball. Don't make common sense fouls, and shoot it into the net more often then they do. Our goalie has been good.

Larson: The other guys, they have more pressure.

Stiller: Yeah, you know some of these other countries have water polo leagues. I can't believe that. And we're beating them.

Larson: Maybe you should play in those leagues, you can make some money.

Stiller: Yeah, I doubt they make all that money. I'll take having this chat alone with you over that anyway. I do, ya know, make decent money in Dover City.

Larson: Yeah I don't make as much as people think I do either, but I like all the traveling. So hey, can we do a formal interview tomorrow?

Stiller: Sure, don't forget I am the coolest guy on the team.

....
(The conversation then steers away from water polo, so we'll stop here)
....

[Northwest Kalactin]

Northwest Kalactin... they lost 7-4 ... And are ready to wreck everyone Northwest Kalactin has a plan to blow your team to pieces so get ready other teams we are ready to destroy you guys

[Todd McCloud]

Another Day, Another Atypical Vekaiyun Win
A special edition from Vekaiyu's Codexian (read: OOC language like English) paper, The Ivessi Outreach Click here for Unonian Language Version

Earlier we had reported that due to the general strategy of Vekaiyun International Water Polo teams (concerning this team at this competition and the teams that generally represent the nation at the Summer Olympiads), teams which they have little to no information on generally give them the most trouble. Yesterday, however, was a bit of a different story, as the Vekaiyun Water Polo club scored early and often, to the tune of a 14-8 rout against Undarat, which now sits at the bottom of Group B in the early-goings of this third set of international go-arounds.The offensive explosion was sure to gaslight the rest of the field, which is not quite used to Vekaiyu reaching such goal totals, but of course, there are two avenues one can take in this discussion: either the team happened to find the right combination at the right time for this particular set, or Undarat is simply not as good as the pundits predicted.

The majority of goal scoring came from the Vekaiyun backfield, as Ehjy Kirveli led the charge with four goals. When it became apparent that Undarat, like many other human-dominated teams, was heavy on power and quick movements across the court, a heavy assortment of finesse players were required, but coach Salvatoro Islemasesi decided to keep the power on defense and use them for a few breakaways.

"I know what you're thinking," he said with a characteristic wag of his finger, his frame smartly dressed in a pinstripe suit, as it is characteristic of Vekaiyun coaches to dress formally even during gametime. "You thought you had us all figured out. Well, once you become predictable, you start to lose. We needed our power players in the back to quickly match the passing ability of Undarat and ensure we wouldn't get lost in the shuffle. Anyone could've guessed by the early 5-4 lead at the end of the first quarter that this game would be a laughter. Don't believe me? You're putting me on - I've been involved in this game longer than you've been alive! Longer than when every household had a television and we still got our news from streetcorners!"

Darkmania is next on the docket for the vulpine home team. While the club hasn't been given the amount of love some other teams have enjoyed at the start of this competition, keep in mind they can be tricky. Sure, they went 0-4 back in Vekaiyu, but that number could be misleading as many clubs have difficulty adjusting to the aquatic arenas. This is a team that pushed Kelssek to the limit by a score of 10-9, and also lost by one point to an impressive Savojarna and formidable Coldfield. While they were routed by Furbish Islands to the tune of a 6-11 throttling, Furbish Islands was the losing nation in what has been billed the closest game of the competition. Vekaiyu required two overtimes to overcome their offensive might and face off in the finals, only to lose the contest the next day.

[Banija]

Part I: The Beginning
Part II: Converting the Chief

Puritan Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints: The Unification Wars

The setting is the Ancient City of Mawasha, which is presently named Busukuma and presently serves as the capitol of Banija. The year is 1618. The scene is the last battle of the land that God ordered the Shujaa to conquer in his name, which is all of present-day Banija. Guns and firearms have not been introduced to Banija at this point in time. We are simply in the thoughts of Kabonero III for this chapter

Shujaa Kabonero III surveyed the battlefield. He, himself, was aching. While he could survive getting clubbed in the back twice, he was sore all over. The battles had started out easily enough. Conquering border villages was never that difficult- the pure strength in numbers that the Kasanke could mount over their foes made those battles almost foregone conclusions. However, the battles to take over the capitol cities of the two tribes, especially the ones that they had just fought, were absolutely tremendous.

Lakiska, in the east, was the first capitol that they had tried to take. It took three successive invasion attempts to finally take the city. Kabonero III remembered the scenes of those battles- the horrific battle cries, the blood curling screams of pain of those who were getting stabbed to death by spears, and beaten to death with clubs. He remembers his sense of frustration when they had lost the first battle. They had basically pillaged their way through Iturbide land, and when he got to their capitol city, Lakiska, he expected a quick and easy victory. But one was not come.

The angel Shango appeared to him after his first defeat, after they were driven. "You did not ask God for your help!" The angel lectured the Shujaa. And the angel was right. Every single time Shujaa Kabonero III, up to that point, had led his army in prayer, they would easily overtake their enemies. But in the most important battle, the key battle, he had not done so. And they had ended up losing staggering numbers of men- 6,000 dead for the Kasanke, with who knows how many dead for their opponents. But the angel ordered him back onto the battlefield for that battle.

The next battle was even bloodier. But it was a slaughter. This time, 10,000 Kasanke men died trying ti siege this city. The losses and body count were piling up for him, and his men were growing weary and frustrated. When Shujaa Kabonero III said that they had to try again, he faced his biggest hurdle of all- a mutiny in the ranks. It was pure luck that saved his life- a bow and arrow had went a half an inch above his head, scrapping through his hair but not touching his skull. This convinced the Shujaa, however, that his mission was protected by God.

He quickly caught the mutineering officers, and did what the Kasanke people were best known for doing- executed them all by burning them at the stake. 'The Burning of the 9', of course, was the turning point for the Kasanke. When they attacked the city of Lakiska for a third time, there was carnage, there was blood spilled. There were 60,000 inhabitants of Lakiska, and even though the previous attacks had been rebuffed, the Kasanke had maintained a perimeter around teh city the whole time- nobody was allowed to escape. At the end of the 3rd battle, where Kasanke finally won, 26,000 males were dead. Shujaa Kbanoero III ordered the killing of every male over the age of 18 who was resident of that city.

Now, of course, he had his last task. taking down the Bokassa. Those people would be much tougher. They had a much larger expanse of territory, but their Royal Family would never leave their capitol city. And like in the last series of battles, in the countryside, the Kasanke enjoyed great successes. While the Bokassa were experienced in guerrilla warfare, Kabonero III said that the "power of God" was delivering the Kasanke people over their foes. And, as it seemed to everybody, he was. Kabonero III's original plan was to try and starve out the ancient city. A more peaceful surrender. This city had an estimated 50,000 fighters, while the Kasanke had only 70,000 at the battlefield.

Until, of course, Shango appeared to him. "Kabonero!" Said the angel. "You must wake, as I bring you the word of God. You must attack this city, and you must attack. You shall prevail, and when you prevail, God shall be able to build his church. But worry! This will cost blood. Salvation shall be brought through your people, but you must pay for the sins of your forefathers. Though you shall prevail, many of your own men will perish. One man will perish tonight for every single Mormon that was killed by your ancestor, Kizza I. You must settle that account before God builds his church."

Kabonero III shuddered when he heard that message. And that, of course, brought him to the present day. He looked, and he barely had any men left. He bad brought 70,000 men to this godforesaken city- but had any men survived? As he looked around, he saw bodies, staring into the heavens. He saw dead body after dead body, lined up for what seemed like ever. He was on his horse, staring. Was this the cost that Shango was talking about? How many of his men had died? Who was even left? As he moved around on his horse, Shango appeared to him.

"Kabonero!" Said the angel. "You are alive. The number of men you brought was 70,000, the number of men you will return with is 700. For as it is written 'God shall deliver salvation through God's foes. But they shall pay a terrible price- one warrior from their people shall die as vengeance for each person killed of the people of God. Kizza I killed every last Mormon, and there were 69,300. That is how many of your men have died. All 50,000 warriors fro your opponents, however, have also died, as God as promised you deliverance from your foes."

"Take your living men. Honor your dead." Said the angel. "Mourn them, as they have died for the sins of their fathers, but they have also died so that Providence can save the men of the living world. Those who died here shall have eternal life. Return to your house, return your men to your wives, and I will show you how to make a nation out of these disparate peoples, and I will show your brother how to build a church worthy of God." With that, Kabonero III grabbed his few remaining men, and returned home. That battle would haunt him forever. But he had won. He would return home a hero.

[Aggrey-Fynn Land]

LANDER SPORTS NETWORK

Your plug for all things sport.

3 REASONS TO WATCH DUNNES VS. AGGREY-FYNN LAND

---

Aggrey-Fynn Land's water polo team has taken care of business in the 3rd WPIC. They were drawn in what appears to be a pretty weak Group D, and have cruised to two easy wins, topping the group (by virtue of the amount of goals scored; Dunnes and Aggrey-Fynn Land both have 6 points and a +7 goal difference, however Aggrey-Fynn Land has scored 19 goals to Dunnes' 18). However, they are not out of the woods yet. Although the pundits here at LSN have given Aggrey-Fynn Land a 95% chance at progressing on from the group stage, the group's winners will move straight to the quarterfinals, giving them a matchday off, which could be used to scout and prepare for top-caliber teams such as the host nation Equestrian States, West Phoenicia and Vekaiyu (the multiverse's #1 and #2 nations at water polo), and the Baptism of Water Champions of Newmanistan. It would also give the Fins' a chance to take a step back and get a look at some of the surprise teams of the tournament, such as Nakad, who have used a stout defense to propel themselves to the top of Group B. But of course, the first step before this can take place is for Aggrey-Fynn Land to win the group. The game against Dunnes seems to be crucial to determining who will take Group D. Luckily, the Wavy Ones' qualifying match for the NSWC is not on at the same time. If that isn't reason enough to watch one of the top water polo nations play in their biggest game yet at this cycle's WPIC, then hopefully these reasons are.

1. The Short-Term Implications
Aggrey-Fynn Land's remaining games after the clash with Dunnes are against Northwest Kalactin (35th in the multiverse) and Slashka (unranked). Realistically, Aggrey-Fynn Land is much better than both of these teams on paper, and should bag two wins from their last two games. However, Dunnes could end up being a completely different beast. Although they are ranked 20th (to put it in perspective, Aggrey-Fynn Land beat the 12th ranked Greater Vakolicci Haven by a comfortable 4-goal margin), they have managed to keep pace with the Fins, also staying unbeaten in their first two games, and maintaining a +7 goal difference. The DWPF has also invested lots of money into improving the state of water polo in the country, most notably by renovating their facilities. Also, Dunnes is one of the few countries to have a professional water polo league (more on this later), which means their players have more game experience than some of their peers. These factors make it seem like the game will be closer than it seems on paper, which will make for an exciting game considering what is at stake. The winner of the matchup will have the inside track on winning the group and securing the automatic quarterfinal spot and bye week.

2. Jacob Valeri's Incendiary Words May End Up Stoking A New Rivalry
When Jacob Valeri was appointed to be the head of the LPA, he wasn't necessarily appointed because of his water polo acumen, but because of his powers as a salesman; water polo is a growing sport all across the multiverse, and Aggrey-Fynn Land is the home of one of the best teams in the multiverse; Valeri's job was to let Landers know about this, and gain more support for the sport domestically. Although it could be said that he has actually been quite successful to that end, his methods have been somewhat unorthodox. He seems to be of the persuasion that "all press is good press", which would explain a lot of his antics. His most recent stunt was when he seemingly took several shots at the Dunnes Water Polo League and the DWPF in an attempt to promote the Lander Star League. In the days following the press conference, he has seemed to back off slightly, calling his comments "harmless banter" and assuring people that his comments did not represent the LPA as a whole. However, he has failed to apologize for his comments, which lead us to believe he meant what he said (or at least he will not disown what he said). As a result, this seemingly minor interview may end up having huge implications. Although the the DWPF has not officially responded to the comments, it wouldn't be surprising if Dunnesian water polo fans took offense at his comments. Valeri's closing comments implied that the game would be a demonstration of which league was better and would have an easier time attracting talent, as both team's players play in their respective leagues. His words have managed to add another layer of intrigue to what would otherwise be considered a somewhat mundane game.

3. The Long-Term Implications
Although Dunnes is not exactly a water polo power at 20th in the world, it seems like the DWPF is committed to developing the sport to greater heights. With world class facilities and a professional league, it appears that there could be room for major improvement if enough money is invested, and enough talent is brought in and trained. The DWPF's vision seems to come in direct conflict with the LPA's goals, which is to not only cement their position as a top team in the multiverse in water polo, but to increase its' popularity domestically. If the Dunnesians truly improve and become a world-class team, this could become a competitive rivalry for years to come, with both countries competing for bragging rights and overall supremacy.

[Equestrian States]

WATER POLO INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS III
Match Day 3 Results

Group A

Banija 11–4 Razenthuria
Philamer Isle 4–7 Equestrian States
Azadeshia 8–8 Kita-Hinode

  Group A                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Equestrian States            3   3  0  0   25  13 +12    9
2 Banija                       3   2  0  1   23  18  +5    6
3 Kita-Hinode                  3   1  1  1   23  24  −1    4
4 Azadeshia                    3   1  1  1   25  27  −2    4
5 Razenthuria                  3   1  0  2   19  26  −7    3
6 Philamer Isle                3   0  0  3   21  28  −7    0

---

Group B

Qasden 9–9 Main Nation Ministry
Undarat 7–7 Nakad
Darkmania 7–9 Vekaiyu

  Group B                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Vekaiyu                      3   3  0  0   31  21 +10    9
2 Nakad                        3   2  1  0   24  15  +9    7
3 Main Nation Ministry         3   1  1  1   22  24  −2    4
4 Darkmania                    3   1  0  2   20  24  −4    3
5 Qasden                       3   0  1  2   19  23  −4    1
6 Undarat                      3   0  1  2   21  30  −9    1

---

Group C

West Phoenicia 13–7 Bjornoya Islands
Newmanistan 11–7 New Lusitania
Huri de Wintre 8–7 United Celtic Peoples

  Group C                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Newmanistan                  3   3  0  0   33  16 +17    9
2 West Phoenicia               3   3  0  0   32  19 +13    9
3 New Lusitania                3   1  0  2   22  26  −4    3
4 Bjornoya Islands             3   1  0  2   25  31  −6    3
5 Huri de Wintre               3   1  0  2   20  29  −9    3
6 United Celtic Peoples        3   0  0  3   19  30 −11    0

---

Group D

Greater Vakolicci Haven 14–8 Northwest Kalactin
Devonta 10–8 Slashka
Dunnes 8–14 Aggrey-Fynn Land

  Group D                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Aggrey-Fynn Land             3   3  0  0   33  20 +13    9
2 Greater Vakolicci Haven      3   2  0  1   31  24  +7    6
3 Dunnes                       3   2  0  1   26  25  +1    6
4 Northwest Kalactin           3   1  0  2   24  28  −4    3
5 Devonta                      3   1  0  2   22  27  −5    3
6 Slashka                      3   0  0  3   20  32 −12    0

[Northwest Kalactin]

So yeah let me say that again we will beat everyone else

[West Phoenicia]

The West Phoenician Mermen have another win under their belt at the Water Polo International Championships 3rd edition in the Equestrian States.
This time they went up against Bjornoya Islands, a nation most West Phoenicians would not be able to find on a map. After a dodgy first quarter that saw Bjornoya Islands in the lead the Mermen dominated the remainder of the game to come out on top with a final score of 13-7

The Mermen are becoming increasing confident with each new win. They will next come up against Newmanistan the other decent team in their grouping for a match that no doubt will have the stands full. As both teams will battle it out in the pool for the top spot in there grouping.

A priest from the temple of Poseidon travels with the team where prayers and a blessing of the pool would be conducted before the big match tomorrow.

Team captain Scott Mare was yet again outstanding scoring 6 goals. Mr Mare with the way he is playing will clearly be the West Phoenician player of the year. And is in prime position to name his salary if he returns for the Water Polo International Championships 4th edition.

Other scorers for the Mermen were;

Bastian Alexandre 2 goals, Matthew Collis 2 goals, Mike Lei 1, goal, Luis Salvador 1 goal, David Alcatraz 1 goal.





Quarter Results;



1st Quarter: 1-4. 2nd Quarter 5-5. 3rd Quater 10-6. 4th Quarter 13-7



West Phoenician player of the Day: Defenders Mike Lei and Kamal Singh hold the honour today. After a horrible 1st quarter both men stepped up there game and successful held Bjornoya Islands players back from opportunities to score with thrir aggressive defensive plays.

The Mermen will next take on the nation of Newmanistan. Winners of the Baptism of Water which the nation of West Phoenicia refuses to acknowledge as official and whose Water Polo Federation is looking to void of any further competition in the new event.
When asked if they felt threatened by the Baptism of Water, Mr Constantine McGuire stated that was untrue. The Mermen are at the top of the game. However the Baptism of Water was so under thought that the results of the Baptism of Water gave teams moving into the offical Water Polo International Championships an unfair advantage of extra points that cycle.
Established teams have fought tooth and nail to get where they are. And its unfair to them to have newbies waltz in with points from one event that help boost up their ranking for this event.

The Mermen are looking forward to taking on Newmanistan tomorrow. The Mermen hover in 2nd place simply due to a technicality of having a goal difference of 4. With tomorrow's win we will be able to slide in the number one grouping where we belong and which the international world wants to see.
Water Polo is not about cheering for the underdog, its for cheering for the winners. The Mermen have two Championships under their belt. We would love to take home a third straight Championships win to honour all the citizens and deities of West Phoenicia.

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

BIG WATER POLO GAME UPCOMING

by Taylor Larson,

You’ve watched the highlights of our World Baseball Classic win so much now that you are beginning to memorize the words of the commentators. You watched some basketball, maybe you checked out Saint Kanye winning the International Basketball Championships in Tundra Falls while avoiding the chaos caused by the West Phoenicia basketball team in Loudon. Perhaps, maybe, you’ll watch a World Cup 79 qualifying game, even though Newmanistan does not participate in the tournament any longer. Otherwise, there is nothing really to do now for the international sports fan of Newmanistan. Well, actually, there is something going on now.

Water polo. Ok, it’s not really an exciting sport to many of you people. I am not going to write to you while claiming to be an expert on the sport, but what I can tell you, is this. The 3rd Water Polo International Championships are taking place, and Newmanistan is actually doing pretty darn well in it. There was a preliminary tournament, called the Baptism of Water, in which Newmanistan participated in, and our team won the competition! Like the Baptism of Fire in soccer, which we also once won, the Baptism of Water was for new nations to go into the big tournament. Well, that’s been taking place, and in a five-game round robin, the team is a perfect 3-0. Hey, that’s pretty good, isn’t it?

So if now I have you thinking that, ‘ok, they’re doing good, but I am still not going to watch water polo’, I have more for you. Their next game is West Phoenicia, and they are 3-0 as well. Not only that, West Phoenicia is the two-time defending champion of this tournament, the only two times that the tournament has been contested. This is a clash of the great champion giant and our gritty underdog, in a game that will determine who wins the group and gets an important first round bye.

Alright, so if now I have you thinking, ‘I guess that’s kinda interesting. I’ll hope they win and check the score tomorrow morning, but I am still not going to watch water polo’, I have even more for you! Remember, they are playing West Phoenicia. Their basketball team was just recently very disrespectful of a sports bar in Loudon. Furthermore, the West Phoenicia media completely denounces our victory in the Baptism of Water, claiming that, “(Newmanistan is the) winners of the Baptism of Water which the nation of West Phoenicia refuses to acknowledge as official and whose Water Polo Federation is looking to void of any further competition in the new event.” Apparently, they do not like a supposed unfair advantage that it gave our team by giving them more ranking points. Hmmm, I don’t remember when this game was played with ranking points being a determining factor in who wins a game, as if someone person just puts numbers in a fancy computer program after they read press coverage, then presses a button that looks like a dice, and lo and behold, you have a winner. No, the game is played out there in an actual pool, using an actual ball in front of people AND sentient ponies, and the winner is determined by who scores more goals!

So now, what else are you doing tonight? That’s what I thought!

Before I go, I caught up with Zack Stiller, a member of the team who was very gracious to take time out of his busy schedule to talk with me concerning the upcoming match.

(Off camera)

Larson: Just act normal, go with the flow.

Stiller: You really think a lot of people will be watching this game and interview?

Larson: Millions. Timing is perfect, nothing else going on. Game will be televised live throughout the Empire. But just do what you always do. Just pretend it’s the visiting team’s cameras, like its always been.

Stiller: Wow, I can’t believe this.

Larson (to cameraguy): Ok, ready!

(On Camera)

Larson: So I am here with Zack Stiller of our national water polo team. Zack, thanks for joining us.

Stiller: The pleasure’s all mine, Taylor.

Larson: Since the nation does not know much about the team, tell us all a little bit about you guys, and the games so far.

Stiller: It’s a close-knit team. We just have fun out there. I mean, we’re playing water polo and getting the attention of the entire Empire. I don’t know what the secret to our success is, other then we just do our thing.

Larson: What was the feeling like when you won the Baptism of Water?

Stiller: We were shocked, we didn’t expect it. We lost the first game, but our confidence just grew and grew. Like I said, we are so close-knit, our chemistry with one another is amazing. Plus, Chris Rossi, our goalie, does make some amazing saves too.

Larson: West Phoenicia denounces the Baptism of Water. How does that make you feel?

Stiller: It actually makes me pretty ticked off. It’s probably the first time something really has ticked me off about being out here. It’s very disrespectful. If you don’t like the tournament, that’s fine, but don’t denounce the effort that it took to win it.

Larson: They are a pretty good team, winners of the last two. Toughest opponent you’ll see.

Stiller: And they are also called the Mermen. It sounds like some corny Cassadagan romance novel instead of a water polo team.

Larson: Do you want to officially be called the Rockets?

Stiller: You know, I guess so. Maybe we’ve earned the right to be called that now. We did try to avoid calling ourselves that out of respect, but I guess I’m cool with that now.

Larson: I have the feeling that this is really the first team, that deep down, you want to beat.

Stiller: Yeah, you know, that’s true. But we can’t let success get to our head.

Larson: Is there anything you want to say to those who will watch you play for the first time?

Stiller: Yeah, uhm, well. Just crack open a beer, watch the game, have a good time with who you are with, and don’t get stressed out over it. It can be fun to watch.

Larson: Very laid back.

Stiller: That’s just how we roll.