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NationStates Issues **SPOILER ALERT**

A place to spoil daily issues for those who haven't had them yet, snigger at typos, and discuss ideas for new ones.

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9782
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:47 pm

Obviously just communist versions of familiar options.

Looks like farming collectives need a lot of computer technicians!

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9782
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jul 10, 2017 3:28 am

#456 Heads Will Roll

The Issue

Earlier this week an entire chapter of the motorcycle gang Daughters of Disorder was involved in a nasty accident on one of @@NAME@@'s major highways, leaving several of them dead. After medical personnel later ascertained that the use of helmets could have saved their lives, your Minister of Health and Public Safety made a statement proposing a set of new security measures mandatory for all motorcycle riders. The initiative has sparked debate, and is facing strong opposition from motorcycle enthusiasts.

The Debate

2. "This law would violate our religious right to wear our sacred top hats while riding motorcycles!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Traqnuil Yellowist Scooter Corps, as @@HE/SHE@@ points @@HIS/HER@@ ceremonial blade at your chest. "We have worn the top hat in times of war on the battlefield! Our protection comes from the Yellow One himself! Require the ungodly heathens to wear helmets! Those who are chosen by the Yellow One to ride will ride in style or die trying!"

3. "The stove pipe is right, helmets are lame!" agrees @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, your slacker nephew. "How am I going to impress any babes if I have helmet hair?" he asks, running his hand through his hair while checking out your secretary over his sunglasses. "Do the right thing boss; helmets are for losers."

4. "Don't listen to him, dear," says your sister, while she drags her son towards the door by the ear. "You had the right idea: everyone riding a motorcycle should wear a helmet, and a padded full body protective suit, and a reflective vest, and neck warmers and..." she continues listing security gear as she leaves the room with your nephew in tow.

6. "It's not enough!" screams one of your junior aides, a fragile and slightly confused soul who was particularly disturbed by the recent accident. "It's not just traffic! People slip in the shower every day, cans fall on their heads in supermarkets, disoriented birds; we're all exposed, at all times! If people are too stupid to realize that, we have to make them! There should be a helmet law for everyone! Wear a helmet or be banned from leaving the house!"

Issue by Sleep
Edited by Gnejs

Yes, Yellowism appears to exactly the same religion as Violetism, down to implied sacrifices.

Well, considering their first introduction it's actually plausible:
3. "That doesn't go far enough," claims the leader of The Tranquility of Yellow, an ancient religion that has a just as ancient feud with Violetism. "These heretics have been a danger ever since the Grand Schism, and they must be dealt with accordingly. I suggest we start up an inquisition. My people will find these Violetists, and see if they can be converted to our true religion or renounce their faith. Whichever one the government prefers. We're not picky. If not... the stake. BURN THEM ALL! Or hang them. Just get rid of those creepy Violetists, okay?"
"Grand Schism" implies religions with a common root that drifted apart.

#619 is less clear about what their tenets or relationship to Violetism actually are, but they claim to believe in a Goddess (with implications of monotheism), while #456's new opion refers to a male Yellow One.

...Anyway, "Tranquil" is misspelled.

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Bears Armed
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20835
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Mon Jul 10, 2017 3:59 am

Trotterdam wrote:while #456's new opion refers to a male Yellow One.

The King in Yellow? !?
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
(includes The Ursine NorthLands) Demonym = Bear[s]; adjective = ‘Urrsish’.
Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
Author of some GA Resolutions, via Bears Armed Mission; subject of an SC resolution.
Factbook. We have more than 70 MAPS. Visitors' Guide.
The IDU's WA Drafting Room is open to help you.
Author of issues #429, 712, 729, 934, 1120, 1152, 1474, 1521.

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23002
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 10, 2017 6:32 am

Araneidae wrote:Sigh. Hard to keep up with all these changes. My old notes are pretty much useless at this point.


Sorry about that. Was aware as I made the changes that this would mess up a lot of people's carefully gathered info, but I thought it was a necessary set of changes in order for the narrative to respect the choices of players as much as possible.

Further bad news is that we're currently revisiting all issue stats too, so any notes you have on the issue's stat effects may soon be obsolete.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Caracasus
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7918
Founded: Apr 23, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Caracasus » Mon Jul 10, 2017 8:59 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:while #456's new opion refers to a male Yellow One.

The King in Yellow? !?


Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies,
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.
As an editor I seam to spend an awful lot of thyme going threw issues and checking that they're no oblivious errars. Its a tough job but someone's got too do it!



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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23002
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:25 am

Trotterdam wrote:...Anyway, "Tranquil" is misspelled.


Sorted now, thanks. Also, made The Yellow One consistently female, fun though it would have been to have a gender-fluid deity.
Last edited by Candlewhisper Archive on Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9782
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:04 pm

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:Hmm, on 761, amazingly and astoundingly, I managed to entirely drop an option from the issue (761.3), by misplacing a single "@" symbol.

Now fixed. Just so y'all know, there's no option validity on that option, it was just my error.

Absence of said option leaves a pretty big gap in the choices, which is probably why the issue is sat at 45% dismissal. Doh. :(
#761 As Seen On TV

The Issue

Classic TV fans have pointed out that the terrible events of the recent @@CAPITAL@@ Stock Exchange bombing were strangely foreshadowed in long-cancelled shlock soap opera "The Light of Day", sitcom "The Flimpsons", and in a dozen other TV programs produced by the same media company.

The Debate

1. "Since we're outperforming the Intelligence community, you should make use of our talents!" suggests producer @@RANDOMNAME@@, sensing the opportunity for some great PR. "I figure that we've got our finger so tightly on the pulse of society that we've become psychically attuned to the zeitgeist of tomorrow. That's why subconsciously, our programming content can predict that which your so-called experts are oblivious to. We'll happily send you all our predictions for a small consultation fee."

2. "They're receiving information from elsewhere!" stage whispers @@NAME@@'s lousiest spy, Jason Bouring. "None of our agencies could have predicted the bombings, and I don't think it's likely mere TV producers could have made this string of perfect guesses. They must be in league with terrorists, maybe as spies sent from Blackacre. We must arrest them, and deal with these traitors harshly!"

3. "Don't you think the real problem is that intelligence services that can be beaten by a TV entertainment company?" asks Intelligence Agency Director Abbot Blackbriar. "Counter-terrorism measures need upgrading, and national security services need better funding. With more agents, rigorous training programs and more investigatory powers, we'll soon be better than the best. In fact, you should just assign me a budget, and leave things to me."

4. "The only obvious thing here is that it's all a coincidence," points out mathematician @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There was no reasonable way to predict the @@CAPITAL@@ bombings, and frankly there's no reasonable way to predict terrorism at all. Best thing to do is to strip back security and intelligence services altogether, and give us taxpayers a break!" @@HE/SHE@@ yelps suddenly as black-gloved hands pull @@HIM/HER@@ into the back of an unmarked van.

Issue by Cazalius Lodra
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Comparing with Drasnia's version, Jason Bouring is nonrandom. I don't know if Abbot Blackbriar is.
Last edited by Trotterdam on Mon Jul 10, 2017 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10355
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Tinhampton » Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:29 pm

I got Abbot Blackbriar. Almost certainly fixed.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 319,372): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607
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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 23381
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

763

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 11, 2017 3:12 am

Any Body For Science?

CONFIRMATION REQUIRED

The Issue

A group of Australian scientists have advocated loosening ethical regulations to allow scientists to perform research with live human test subjects.

The Debate

“Well, it is certainly difficult to find enough willing volunteers,” argues Dr. Nikita Mengele, who slinked into your office dressed in a crisp white lab coat. “Rare conditions such as Brancalandian Burps and Australian Habitancy can only be found in a few individuals, and more often than not they refuse to take part in our studies! We need the government to step back and let us researchers decide who should and should not be tested upon, for the sake of medical science!”

“Don’t listen to her, Steven Jot,” pleads Ivan Trudeau, directing his cries towards your potted plant. “Doctor Mengele blinded me with her so-called research! This is what happens when scientists think that they can do whatever they want. Surely you cannot just forget about the idea of consent! If anything, you should require a fully detailed consent form for any kind of medical procedure or treatment. If any scientists don’t like it, just take away their funding.”

“But what incentive would people have?” asks Molly Christmas, taking a wallet and syringe out of her bag. “It’s obvious that testing on live subjects is a priceless opportunity, and that is exactly why we should place a price on it! Mandate that all participants should be paid, say, 5000 Dollarydoos per day while they are undergoing tests. This stops low-rate scientists from going overboard, and it helps the poor. It’s a flawless plan!”

Confirm Wait, no!

Issue by The Good Old Days of The 19th Century

Edited by Helaw
Sign the Petition: https://www.change.org/p/the-australian ... anny-state
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18 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
In-Character posts made by this fictious account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

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The Paradisian Empire
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 45
Founded: Apr 09, 2011
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby The Paradisian Empire » Tue Jul 11, 2017 12:37 pm

What are the stat requirements to get the latest issue series? I've been going through many puppets to see if it's popped up and so far only one has the new issue series.
"Semino Losase Gorvindal Ewa" -- "Semino the Great Created Humans"
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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 23381
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

766

Postby Australian rePublic » Tue Jul 11, 2017 9:07 pm

Carbon Emissions Are Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

The Issue

Signing that international climate treaty all those months ago really put a feather in your cap, and in the cap of Australian Republic. Stately banquets in Brancaland and numerous editorials on your progressive leadership; it really has been quite delightful. Today, however, a strongly worded letter from the treaty compliance commission arrived at your desk, asking you to detail how Australian Republic plans to fulfill its obligations.

The Debate

“Well, we always knew this day would come,” laments renowned business tycoon Dana Yossef. “The important thing now is to ensure that the most business-friendly option is pursued. If we hook ourselves up to one of the established cap-and-trade systems, we can go shopping in the backwater signatory states and buy enough permits to allow Australian companies to continue producing at their current rates. Our industry won’t technically reduce their emissions, but it’s an ‘international’ treaty, right?”

Accept

“Let’s do this the right way, yes?” suggests Hugh Fallon, avid ‘yes-man’ and resident of a territory completely devoid of oil and gas. “If you want a tried and true method for reducing carbon emissions, you can’t go wrong with a good old fashioned tax scheme. Yes, those territories with larger energy reserves and heavy industry will likely be impacted to a greater extent than those without, and socioeconomically it’s bound to be somewhat regressive, but we have to consider future generations. We can offset the damages by investing the revenue in renewable energy and social welfare, yes?”

Accept

“There’s another way”, posits Balon Busk, the nation’s foremost newspaper columnist on technology and fantasy fiction. “Carbon capture and storage technology has some great potential. Of course, kicking off new tech is always risky, so we’ll need massive subsidies for investments in the right infrastructure and equipment. But if we get it to work, we won’t need to reduce carbon emissions at all. We’ll just put it someplace it won’t do any harm and no one is likely to stumble upon it, like deep below the Misty Mountains or something. It’s the epitome of eating your cake and having it too! Expensive cake, but still.”

Accept

“This meddling in national affairs is sickening,” howls Minerva Malik, an energy sector advocate known for her love of dramatic exaggerations. “Any one of the proposed options will decimate our economy, without having the slightest positive impact on the environment, probably. All the worthwhile companies will flee to more business-friendly jurisdictions, and Australian Republic will die a horrible and painful death; that’s right, I said it: that treaty of yours will kill Australian Republic. Who’s going to appreciate all those flowers when everybody’s dead, huh? Trash the treaty!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Confederacy of Continental Commonwealths

Edited by Gnejs
Sign the Petition: https://www.change.org/p/the-australian ... anny-state
From Greek Ancestry Orthodox Christian
18 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
In-Character posts made by this fictious account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23002
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:56 am

The Paradisian Empire wrote:What are the stat requirements to get the latest issue series? I've been going through many puppets to see if it's popped up and so far only one has the new issue series.


They're all pretty much the logical ones from the nation's narrative. A couple which might not be intuitive are that you have to have a named Leader and Capital, which is why most nations aren't eligible.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Bears Armed
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 20835
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:03 am

Australian Republic wrote:Carbon Emissions Are Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
The Issue

Signing that international climate treaty all those months ago really put a feather in your cap, and in the cap of Australian Republic. Stately banquets in Brancaland and numerous editorials on your progressive leadership; it really has been quite delightful. Today, however, a strongly worded letter from the treaty compliance commission arrived at your desk, asking you to detail how Australian Republic plans to fulfill its obligations.

The Debate

“Well, we always knew this day would come,” laments renowned business tycoon Dana Yossef. “The important thing now is to ensure that the most business-friendly option is pursued. If we hook ourselves up to one of the established cap-and-trade systems, we can go shopping in the backwater signatory states and buy enough permits to allow Australian companies to continue producing at their current rates. Our industry won’t technically reduce their emissions, but it’s an ‘international’ treaty, right?”

Accept

“Let’s do this the right way, yes?” suggests Hugh Fallon, avid ‘yes-man’ and resident of a territory completely devoid of oil and gas. “If you want a tried and true method for reducing carbon emissions, you can’t go wrong with a good old fashioned tax scheme. Yes, those territories with larger energy reserves and heavy industry will likely be impacted to a greater extent than those without, and socioeconomically it’s bound to be somewhat regressive, but we have to consider future generations. We can offset the damages by investing the revenue in renewable energy and social welfare, yes?”

Accept
“There’s another way”, posits Balon Busk, the nation’s foremost newspaper columnist on technology and fantasy fiction. “Carbon capture and storage technology has some great potential. Of course, kicking off new tech is always risky, so we’ll need massive subsidies for investments in the right infrastructure and equipment. But if we get it to work, we won’t need to reduce carbon emissions at all. We’ll just put it someplace it won’t do any harm and no one is likely to stumble upon it, like deep below the Misty Mountains or something. It’s the epitome of eating your cake and having it too! Expensive cake, but still.”
Accept

“This meddling in national affairs is sickening,” howls Minerva Malik, an energy sector advocate known for her love of dramatic exaggerations. “Any one of the proposed options will decimate our economy, without having the slightest positive impact on the environment, probably. All the worthwhile companies will flee to more business-friendly jurisdictions, and Australian Republic will die a horrible and painful death; that’s right, I said it: that treaty of yours will kill Australian Republic. Who’s going to appreciate all those flowers when everybody’s dead, huh? Trash the treaty!”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Confederacy of Continental Commonwealths

Edited by Gnejs


To have a follow-up issue based on the choice of this option awakening the Balrog?

^_^
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
(includes The Ursine NorthLands) Demonym = Bear[s]; adjective = ‘Urrsish’.
Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
Author of some GA Resolutions, via Bears Armed Mission; subject of an SC resolution.
Factbook. We have more than 70 MAPS. Visitors' Guide.
The IDU's WA Drafting Room is open to help you.
Author of issues #429, 712, 729, 934, 1120, 1152, 1474, 1521.

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Drasnia
Minister
 
Posts: 2601
Founded: Feb 02, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Drasnia » Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:18 pm

#767: Xe Said, Zhe Said [The Marsupial Illuminati; ed:Ransium

The Issue
Transgender students at @@CAPITAL@@ University are up in arms after Shinzo Peters, a noted Sociology professor, refused to use students’ preferred pronouns. After being briefed on the minefield of multiple genders and microaggressions, you step outside your safe space to face the masses.

The Debate
1. “By refusing to call me by my preferred pronouns, he is denying my humanity!” cries a spirited student with no clear gender. “He is a transphobic person, using free speech as an excuse to cover his bigotry. I don’t feel safe on this campus anymore because of this. We as a society discourage the use of offensive speech all the time, which is why we don’t allow racial slurs on our campus. Why aren’t pronouns treated the same way? Misgendering should be a hate speech and those who do it should be fired from their jobs and liable for psychological damage!”

2. “Oh shut up, free speech is a cornerstone of our nation,” bemoans the professor in question. “Restricting speech is how most authoritarian and fascist regimes in history began. First they’ll come for your ability to use the pronouns you want, and you’ll say nothing because you don’t want to offend people; next, they’ll come for the media! We cannot allow this to happen! I am not a bigot just because I refuse to address a transgender student with a made-up pronoun concocted by radical activists. Besides, I have a thousand students, I can’t be bothered to remember a thousand pronouns; I must be allowed to refer to people however I want.”

3. “The problem is that our speech allows for such offenses to be had at all,” claims Winston O’Brien, a controversial equality advocate. “I’m not just talking about eliminating gendered pronouns from our language, although that’s really a no-brainer, I’m talking about eliminating any sort of possibly offensive descriptors. Adjectives possibly related to race? Gone! Descriptors of different religions? Gone! Racial slurs? Oh man... er, person, are they gone. With new @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ OffenselessSpeak, @@NAME@@ will be paradise.”
The professor's name in the description looks to be random (though I can't be certain yet), especially considering Ransium made sure not to use his name in option 2.
See You Space Cowboy...

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The Marsupial Illuminati
Issues Editor
 
Posts: 1508
Founded: Jul 24, 2016
Free-Market Paradise

Postby The Marsupial Illuminati » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:46 pm

Drasnia wrote:The professor's name in the description looks to be random (though I can't be certain yet), especially considering Ransium made sure not to use his name in option 2.

I can confirm that the professor's name is random.
ὁ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ

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Australian rePublic
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 23381
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

761

Postby Australian rePublic » Wed Jul 12, 2017 9:50 pm

WEDNESDAY JULY 12, 2017

As Seen On TV

The Issue

Classic TV fans have pointed out that the terrible events of the recent Canberra Stock Exchange bombing were strangely foreshadowed in long-cancelled shlock soap opera ”The Light of Day”, sitcom ”The Flimpsons”, and in a dozen other TV programs produced by the same media company.

The Debate

“Since we’re outperforming the Intelligence community, you should make use of our talents!” suggests producer Vera Larson, sensing the opportunity for some great PR. “I figure that we’ve got our finger so tightly on the pulse of society that we’ve become psychically attuned to the zeitgeist of tomorrow. That’s why subconsciously, our programming content can predict that which your so-called experts are oblivious to. We’ll happily send you all our predictions for a small consultation fee.”

Accept

“They’re receiving information from elsewhere!” stage whispers Australian Republic’s lousiest spy, Jason Bouring. “None of our agencies could have predicted the bombings, and I don’t think it’s likely mere TV producers could have made this string of perfect guesses. They must be in league with terrorists, maybe as spies sent from Blackacre. We must arrest them, and deal with these traitors harshly!”

Accept

“Don’t you think the real problem is that intelligence services that can be beaten by a TV entertainment company?” asks Intelligence Agency Director Abbot Blackbriar. “Counter-terrorism measures need upgrading, and national security services need better funding. With more agents, rigorous training programs and more investigatory powers, we’ll soon be better than the best. In fact, you should just assign me a budget, and leave things to me.”

Accept

“The only obvious thing here is that it’s all a coincidence,” points out mathematician Chastity Sanchez. “There was no reasonable way to predict the Canberra bombings, and frankly there’s no reasonable way to predict terrorism at all. Best thing to do is to strip back security and intelligence services altogether, and give us taxpayers a break!” She yelps suddenly as black-gloved hands pull her into the back of an unmarked van.

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Most Revered Lands of Cazalius Lodra

Edited by Candlewhisper Archive
Sign the Petition: https://www.change.org/p/the-australian ... anny-state
From Greek Ancestry Orthodox Christian
18 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
In-Character posts made by this fictious account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

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The Candy Of Bottles
Diplomat
 
Posts: 627
Founded: Jan 01, 2015
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Candy Of Bottles » Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:45 pm

768, Trouble Brewing

The Issue

This morning’s strategy meeting was brought to a grinding halt when you and your cabinet were subjected to the worst pot of tea you have ever had the misfortune of suffering. The leaves weren’t properly brewed, the milk was skimmed AND powdered, the water was lukewarm, and the sugar bowl was full of salt...

The Debate

“Oh gosh King Sakub Anangåkïz, I’m so sorry I don’t know how to make your boiled leaf water,” spits Cortana, the ever-sarcastic secretary responsible for the offending brew. “I was busy learning trivialities like typing, minute-taking, IT skills, and calendar organising. How about you all drink Eckie-cola from now on, instead? In fact, you should get rid of tea from the whole of The Candy Of Bottles: it’s a drink for old farts and fuddy-duddies anyway.”

Accept

“Look, I’m the Secretary of State, the damn Secretary of State, I say, and even I know how to make tea properly,” complains your elderly Secretary of State, pointing to the desk nameplate that says Secretary of State. “The problem with young people today, well, besides being constantly glued to their Pear Phones, is that they don’t know how to slow down and take their time. We should make tea-making and kitchen skills a part of the national curriculum, and encourage all those teenagers and twenty-somethings to stop rushing around, and to appreciate a proper tea service.”

Accept

“Pfft, slow-mo food and drink is so last century,” mocks Homer Vercingetorix, your Chief of Science, while digging into his microwave burrito. “What you need is instant tea, in a can, with some sort of heating widget that triggers with the ring pull, and plenty of preservatives to make it last. Once again, science has the answer! So, shall I assign some government grants for food technology research, or what?”

Accept

“Oolongs for better tea?” giggles Michelle Cooper, your pun-loving Minister of Agriculture, and your Cabinet brace themselves for an onslaught of tea-related puns. “Can we Matcha solution to the problem? Can we Rize to the occasion? Did you read that report I Sencha? Did I get things down to a tea, my Darjeelings?” In the face of blank faces and silence, she changes tack. “Uh... anyway, coffee. Coffee is easier to make and nicer. Subsidise coffee growers.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Peripatetic Panopticon of Candlewhisper Archive

Edited by Ransium

No gaps in the source, and leaving the issue and coming back doesn't change any of the names- I know that at least used to be the case. Does not appear to work anymore.
Nation May also be called Ebsas Shomad.
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Trotterdam
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 9782
Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:14 am

#768 Trouble Brewing

The Issue

This morning's strategy meeting was brought to a grinding halt when you and your cabinet were subjected to the worst pot of tea you have ever had the misfortune of suffering. The leaves weren't properly brewed, the milk was skimmed AND powdered, the water was lukewarm, and the sugar bowl was full of salt...

The Debate

1. "Oh gosh @@LEADER@@, I'm so sorry I don't know how to make your boiled leaf water," spits @@RANDOMFIRSTNAME@@, the ever-sarcastic secretary responsible for the offending brew. "I was busy learning trivialities like typing, minute-taking, IT skills, and calendar organising. How about you all drink Eckie-cola from now on, instead? In fact, you should get rid of tea from the whole of @@NAME@@: it's a drink for old farts and fuddy-duddies anyway."

2. "Look, I'm the Secretary of State, the damn Secretary of State, I say, and even I know how to make tea properly," complains your elderly Secretary of State, pointing to the desk nameplate that says Secretary of State. "The problem with young people today, well, besides being constantly glued to their Pear Phones, is that they don't know how to slow down and take their time. We should make tea-making and kitchen skills a part of the national curriculum, and encourage all those teenagers and twenty-somethings to stop rushing around, and to appreciate a proper tea service."

3. "Pfft, slow-mo food and drink is so last century," mocks @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Chief of Science, while digging into @@HIS/HER@@ microwave burrito. "What you need is instant tea, in a can, with some sort of heating widget that triggers with the ring pull, and plenty of preservatives to make it last. Once again, science has the answer! So, shall I assign some government grants for food technology research, or what?"

4. "Oolongs for better tea?" giggles @@RANDOMNAME@@, your pun-loving Minister of Agriculture, and your Cabinet brace themselves for an onslaught of tea-related puns. "Can we Matcha solution to the problem? Can we Rize to the occasion? Did you read that report I Sencha? Did I get things down to a tea, my Darjeelings?" In the face of blank faces and silence, @@HE/SHE@@ changes tack. "Uh... anyway, coffee. Coffee is easier to make and nicer. Subsidise coffee growers."

Issue by Candlewhisper Archive
Edited by Ransium

Comparing with The Candy Of Bottles' report, I can confirm that all names are random. I'm not sure about the genders (the ones I got were all the same as the ones he got), but I don't see why they would be fixed.

By the way, it was funny to get this at the same time as #425, especially since I picked the pro-science/education options on both. Looks like our food industry is about to get a lot more learned! The science option on #768 lowered Health (but also lowered Death Rate), possibly on the belief that all-natural food is healthier than fancy lab stuff, but #425's science option counteracted that and brought Health back up. #768 also lowered Weather but #425 more than compensated for that. In the end, the only net downside of the two options was a slight reduction in Culture. I'll survive.

Candlewhisper Archive wrote:
Trotterdam wrote:...Anyway, "Tranquil" is misspelled.


Sorted now, thanks. Also, made The Yellow One consistently female, fun though it would have been to have a gender-fluid deity.
Well, Violet is explicitly a female deity, and it's still not clear exactly how they're supposed to be related...

Really, what bothers me most about that option is player agency. It's like "You thought you could ban Violetism? Well, here's this other religion that's practically the same as Violetism in every way, and you can't ban them! Joke's on you!". Most Westerners who hate Islam don't care about the difference between Sunnis and Shi'as. (And then there's that, as a backup option, the Yellowists are apparently not important enough to be heard if you do have Violetists, even though, if you do start handing out religious helmet law exemptions, it should apply to all religions with mandatory headgear, not just the ones that spoke up first.)

But then, I might be biased because I really hate the concept behind religious exemption in general.
If you're allowed to wear something because of which imaginary friend you believe in, then you should also be allowed to wear it simply because of your fashion sense. If you can refuse to wear a helmet because you have faith that your imaginary friend will protect you, then you should also be able to refuse to wear a helmet because you have faith in your own driving skills to avoid an accident. It is extremely biased and unfair to priviledge religious beliefs over secular convictions, and it's pretty silly when you treat any religion, no matter which (so not just your official national religion), as valuable, while snubbing non-religious people. There is no reasonable ground for doing this, other than that organized religions have bigger and louder political lobbies than individual people's opinions.

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Candlewhisper Archive
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 23002
Founded: Aug 28, 2015
Anarchy

Postby Candlewhisper Archive » Thu Jul 13, 2017 4:10 am

That's a fair point, though it's a minor sin against agency, at best. After all, those Yellowists didn't bomb the @@CAPITAL@@ Stock Exchange, so they're clearly not as bad as those Violetists.
editors like linguistic ambiguity more than most people

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Trotterdam
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Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Thu Jul 13, 2017 4:35 am

They're still implied to be practicing human sacrifice (there are hypothetically other uses for a "ceremonial blade", but since the exact same implement was used by the Violetists, I think some interpolation is reasonable).

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Bears Armed
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Posts: 20835
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Thu Jul 13, 2017 4:39 am

Trotterdam wrote:They're still implied to be practicing human sacrifice

Well, as long as they limit themselves to human sacrifice...
;)
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Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
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Trotterdam
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Thu Jul 13, 2017 4:55 am

Okay, my real point here is - while I dislike giving a legal exemption to a single group without a good reason, there are at least some circumstances where a particular group does have legitimate reasons to deserve different treatment from others (and whether this is one of those circumstances is naturally up to the player). However, it really highlights the artificiality of the option when, if the "single group" that supposedly deserves special treatment is gone, it is immediately replaced by a different "single group" that wasn't there before.

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Trotterdam
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Founded: Jan 12, 2012
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Trotterdam » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:24 pm

#769 How To Print Money?

The Issue

An independent study recently estimated that up to ten percent of all physical money in circulation is counterfeit. The Treasury Department are greatly worried, both that the counterfeiters are still at large and that @@CURRENCYPLURAL@@ could be being severely devalued over time.

The Debate

1. "The fake bills just keep coming and coming!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your excitable Chancellor of the Treasury, pouring out a suitcase of the counterfeit notes onto your desk. "If we want to stop this, I'll need a special task force under my direct control, and a free hand to act decisively... With that, I guarantee you we'll stamp out all forms of counterfeiting within a month. Or maybe two. Or however long it takes!"

2. "An easier solution would be to implant small RFID-microchips into our notes and coins," proposes @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Gadgets, demonstrating a prototype to you. "This would ensure that all genuine money could be immediately verified by handheld scanners. As an extra benefit, it'd be a lot easier to track the movement of cash if we need to."

3. "All that glitters is gold, and really that's all we'll need to know," mumbles @@RANDOMNAME@@, a gold magnate. "Wouldn't it be much simpler if a 1-@@CURRENCY@@ coin was actually worth one @@CURRENCY@@? If you used gold coins instead, not only would the coins have intrinsic value, but counterfeiting would become profitless and thus non-existent."

4. "What a boring, utilitarian solution," yawns @@RANDOMNAME@@, an uppity artist, who is currently painting a mural on your ceiling. "The correct way should be to issue new notes and coins, and adorn them with elegant and intricate patterns. Not only will they be hard to copy, but they'll look fabulous as well. Only then will it be difficult for criminals to make a mould."

5. "What's so wrong with individuals making money?" questions a dodgy-looking stranger with ink stains on his hands. "If the government can print money, then why can't private citizens? It'd stimulate the economy, I reckon, by creating cashflow and hyperinflating the currency, or something like that. Hyperinflation is something good, right? Isn't that what free market economics means?"

Issue by Singapore no2
Edited by Candlewhisper Archive

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Australian rePublic
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Posts: 23381
Founded: Mar 18, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

760

Postby Australian rePublic » Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:12 am

A Debatable Question

The Issue

It’s election season in Australian Republic, and several of the smaller political parties are voicing their concerns about being left out of the big televised debates, again.

The Debate

“It’s so unfair,” sulks Lord Kettlenoggin, leader of the Marxist Alliance For The Advancement Of Agrarian Libertarianism (MAFTAOAL), while speaking to a local gathering of six people. “We polled just below one percent last election cycle, and I demand to be heard! In fact, anybody that wants to join in should have the right to do so. The big parties are just scared to let us debate with them, but don’t let that get in the way of what really matters; vox populism, eh, populi.”

Accept

“It’s both fair and efficient,” lectures Naomi Sharp, majority whip for the Liberal Conservatives, while putting out a cigar on a Kangaroo Supremacy Party campaign pamphlet. “Only the biggest parties stand a real chance at power, and muddling what really matters with thirty different fringe causes – that have no ground in reality – would be unfair to the voters. Trying to mess with the way we’ve been doing political debates since the dawn of time will only serve to put mental stress on the masses, so let’s not.”

Accept

“I don’t think we have to go to either extreme here,” suggests Simon Cobweb, former TV-producer and the freshest face on your team of spin-doctors. “If we gave the power to decide eligibility to some non-partisan commission, they could set specific criteria to be included in the televised debates, and a panel of impartial judges could rate prospects based on that. Now, that’s fair. It might cost an extra Dollarydoo or two, but can you really put a price on democracy? Hmm, I guess I just did, kind of.”

Accept

“All this debating is giving me a headache,” complains Wally Barry, your Minister of Daft Ideas. “Imagine all the time people would save if they didn’t spend the day listening to arguments about tweaking the tax code or giving benefits to old people.” He motions over to a window overlooking a lone activist spray-painting ‘MAFTAOAL FTW’ across Canberra’s main square. “I have an idea, what if we just stopped debating altogether? No meddling politicians, at all. Let the voters decide for themselves.”

Accept

Dismiss This Issue

Issue by The Awesome Country of Maxemia

Edited by Gnejs
Sign the Petition: https://www.change.org/p/the-australian ... anny-state
From Greek Ancestry Orthodox Christian
18 Published Issues and 1 WA Resolution
In-Character posts made by this fictious account do not reflect the actions of any real world government

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10355
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Anarchy

Postby Tinhampton » Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:27 am

Australian Republic wrote:el snip

Sorry, Aussie, but the macros for this have long since been worked out.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 319,372): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607
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Who am I, really? 46yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate; currently reading nothing much

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