World Cup 78 - Roleplay Thread

[Nephara]

(4-4-2 / 4-3-3) 20 - Tsattalios; 18 - Koehler, 22 - Rathskeller, 6 - Scharner (vc), 19 - Vicelich (3 - Lohengrin 60'); 13 - Fanaiyan (10 - Covenant 81'), 23 - Kuralay, 8 - Gosforth, 16 - Strongbow; 17 - Stavanger, 9 - Hawke (4 - Rainsford 60', c)
Goal: Hawke 15', 29', 57', Gosforth 91'

If 'feeling smug' was within the Theodora Covenant blueprint, that would assuredly be how she'd feel now.
As it stood, it wasn't, so perhaps 'vindication' was a better description. For she was back in the (green and) black, motherfuckers! Sporting the number 10, too - her number.
The issue with Covenant was her style of play, because she played with style. A loose hip-swinging gait, a deep desire to just get past her player, a willingness to look for the pass over the shot. She wasn't tall, strong or especially fast, certainly not at 31. But she offered something different.
Theresa Riether had seen that. World Cups won: 1.
Reinhard Shale had not seen that. World Cups won: 0.
It was basic maths to Covenant.
Anyway, she was back now, under a manager she really respected. Riether was an erratic genius with well-documented mental health issues. She'd lifted the World Cup, basked in the spotlight for a bit at the top of the game and simply... walked away. Took a special kind of person to do that. Same kind of special kind of person who would, perhaps, react to a bad World Cup by running away, triggering a fortnight-long manhunt and widespread fears for her life. Yin and yang, and all that.
Shale was not a special kind of person, to Covenant's mind - all fart and no poo. He talked a pretty big game about 'dynasty' and the like, but when it came down to it he just went for the old school approach. Yeah, sure, top-level teams, Nephara's no threat to you. Just a bunch of strong men going forward. Not a vision Covenant fit into, that was for sure.
By the time he was gone, Covenant figured her time was up. Fegelein came in and Covenant was a sceptic. Some backwater manager with a relegation on her record who'd succeeded by putting many strong men in a 4-4-2 and having them kick people about, how original. Then something strange happened.
Fegelein started trying shit.
It was Avila Wardenier's callup that had her notice at first. A quick striker, sure, but more than that - a clever, fluid and versatile forward. A scrapper from the streets of Sabrefell, but someone who'd get you in the nuts, not the jaw.
Remind you of anyone?
Apparently it did for Fegelein, as in that big fuckin' half-a-century training camp, Covenant got a callup with a bunch of the rest of the old guard. And Fegelein talked, and talked... and there was substance behind it. She wanted to find whatever squad from these parts would win Nephara a World Cup, and she wasn't about to just... not use parts. Old guys like her or Kieran Ritter or whoever who could step in where required and add steel to the spine. Young guns like their wingers here, Strongbow and the guy she'd replaced, Fanaiyan.
And now they were in a new formation, no less. 4-3-3. Riether had been a fan of it, but it had failed them big-time once and they'd never been back to it, especially after finding a ton of really good strikers. But she'd talked it through with the lads and it made sense, really, just to have a Plan B. Some more control in the midfield, shake things up in the attack a bit. Shale had talked about 'Plan B' like it was a dirty word. Fegelein just wanted to win more than anything.
They weren't strictly meant to roll it out until they'd trained with it more, but this game was basically dead after Hawke's hat-trick, so... fuck it, right?
And so that's how they came to here. Covenant, on in a floaty right-wing role. The young, ferocious Strongbow on the left, Stavanger up front and Rainsford back on to play the part as a pure defensive midfielder. With no need for more goals, the pressure was off, they ticked the ball around and probed and, sure, it was probably fucking boring by good old-fashioned Nepharim blood-and-thunder tendencies but here and now it was working. And it wasn't hard to see how this could throw good sides off. This wasn't what you normally expected from Nephara, but Nephara didn't usually have the cattle for it.
Today, it did. Guys like Konrad Gosforth, for example, who was there to find the ball that Covenant expertly cut back for him to sashay past Meinel and blast it past Gesele. Easy as you like, Nephara's fourth. Yesterday's woman, Theodora Covenant, with an assist upon her glorious ten-minute return.
So, okay, maybe she was a little smug...

[Schottia]

The Tale of Paul Thompson

Part four.

Flowing

Evelyn's sports car was new and expensive; and like the house and the majority of the contents, it belonged to the Ocean Shore group. Since signing the senior contract with Coast, it had struck Evelyn just how little she had actually spent. She had basically been living for free, while her bank account continued to swell like an ex-pat's waistline. Another year or so and she would be done with this place, done and dusted. Some Champion's Cup football under her belt, a few more caps for Schottia in the World Cup Qualifiers, then she would more or less be able to pick her next club. She had always fancied Terranean League, maybe along the New Gelderland Coast, such a beautiful part of the world. Perhaps even the bright lights of Crawford in Cosumar... but she'd need to see what came up.

'Do you need me to pull over?' Evelyn cast Paul a look of concern as he began to grow pale. 'You do realise that if you're sick in this car, the money it would cost to replace these seat covers is likely to be more than your divorce settlement?'

'Maybe just open the window a crack.' Paul Thompson was clutching the neck of his shirt between his thumb and forefinger, trying to waft a little air in. He simultaneously looked both dangerously overheated, and shiveringly cold. A bit like a frozen corpse thawing under a hot-lamp.

'It wouldn't help,' Evelyn was trying to keep an eye on his condition while at the same time negotiating the traffic. 'The air-con is on full, if I opened the window it would only let warm air in.' Trying to drive around the urban areas of Port Christopher was a nightmare. From the City on the north coast, out to San Marco on the easternmost tip, was just wall-to-wall tourists and tour buses. Boy racers who treated red lights merely as an suggestion to stop, holidaymakers in hire cars who didn't have a clue where they were going - you could literally encounter anything.

'Well then, maybe we could pull up for a little bit then.' Paul spoke quickly, as if he didn't trust himself to hold his mouth open.

'You're going to be sick?'

'I... Probably not, but.'

'Should I pull over?'

'Well, it's up to you eh...'

'I'm pulling over!'

'I... I don't want put you out any more than...'

'I'm pulling over!'

Five minutes later

The only thing Evelyn could say for certain right now, was that she was never going to be able to eat another salad ever again. The contents of Paul's stomach, mixed with froth and bile, were currently cascading down the pavement and into the gutter. All the while, the would-be writer crouched on all fours, heaving, as he created the most stomach churning sounds. Evelyn stood facing the other way, adorning a large pair of sunglasses, with her hand held to her face, partly against the smell, partly to avoid recognition.

'It... amazing...' Paul said breathlessly, as he got to his knees. '...You always feel a little better after you get it all out, know what I'm saying?' As he spoke, an elderly couple actually broke into a run to get past him quicker. They were parked by a busy road - two of the car wheels were up on the pavement - and the disruption they had caused was already drawing the occasional horn toots. To the other side of them was one of the few places in which the long, sandy, north coast beach could be accessed freely. In most instances, it required passing through the lobby of one of the many hotels, which lined the shore. However, here, the sand met the pavement directly, and as a result, there were always a lot of people going back and forth. It was a little too early in the day for most of the tourists, but already the ice-cream stalls and other seaside vendors were beginning to set up.

'You good?' Evelyn asked, trying not to look at the steam rising from the vomit, as evaporated in the sun. 'Do you want to get some water or something?' The footballer was torn between the desire to get him off of the pavement, and the reluctance to have him back in her car.

'Maybe I could have a juice.' The big man nodded, as he pulled himself back up to his full height. He placed a finger over each nostril in turn, before shooting the contents of its neighbour onto the pavement. 'I'm feeling a bit more like myself again'

'Right come on then.' Evelyn recoiled, before gesturing towards a small store set up on the beachfront. The building looked somewhat makeshift, with inflatable beach toys hung out in front, as well as signs advertising newspapers, and confectionary. In an old wooden chair, by the door, was an equally old and decrepit looking man, sat so still that Evelyn didn't see him at first. She almost jumped as he got too his feet and followed them into the store, viewing them with the utmost suspicion.

'Can I help youse?' His voice was more of a screech than a croak, like a barn door opened slowly. The shopkeeper stood in the doorway, his sunken features accentuated all the more by the silhouetting effect. His skin was old and looked like leather, no doubt from years of too much sun. Perhaps he had witnessed Paul's vomiting incident, or maybe this was just how treated all his customers. Possibly age meant he had grown to treat everyone and everything with a healthy dose of suspicion.

'Eh, just looking to grab some juice.' Evelyn removed her sunglasses, as the darkness of the interior made it hard to see. The shopkeeper was clearly troubled, as he hadn't even given them time to look around the shop.

Paul's colour was slowly returning, although his breathing was a little laboured. He walked to the chill cabinet before removing a bottle of cola and holding it's icy exterior to his face. 'Just this Pal.' He said placing it down on the counter.

The shopkeeper looked on for a few second longer, before he creaked into motion, and made his way round to the till. His motions were like that of a puppet with a few strings missing, as if there were a few actions he was incapable of. He glanced at the bottle, like he would a dead mouse Paul had just lain on his counter. 'Two pounds.'

'Oh, oop, eh, no bother mate.' Paul searched around in his pockets in vane, before turning to Evelyn somewhat Embarrassed. He didn't need to say anything, his eyes told her everything she needed to know. She reached into the pocket of her shorts and produced a five Schottic Pound note. With the pair of them still no nearer to locating the name, let alone the location of Paul's hotel, Evelyn was keen to get back on their way.

The sceptical shopkeeper plucked the note from her hand with a thumb and forefinger, before totalling up the shopping up on a till that looked more like a museum piece. 'Three Pounds, back.' He placed the coins on the counter top, before lurching back to his position near the door. The old man's eyes narrowed, with a look of mistrust as he waited for them to leave.

Back out on the beach front, it was possible that the temperature had risen by a couple of degrees even in the short time they were inside. The Island felt like it was now reaching boiling point, and Paul grimaced against the heat as they stepped back into the road.

'You alright?' Evelyn asked, concerned by the fact that he had become a little quite. She watched as he gulped down about a third of the bottle in one go, before sweeping about the same volume in sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He was perspiring profusely, but a lot of that could be down to his size. Paul had the look of a man who spent a lot of his life sweating.

'Aye, I'm alright.' He gritted his teeth as he followed her back across the road to the parked car. 'Just a bit...'

A bit, what? As Evelyn used the remote key to open the car, she did really want to think about it. So long as he was quiet, and kept the contents of his stomach down, that was the best she could hope for right now. There was something about Port Christopher, a surrealness, which made it feel not proper. Most twenty-one-year-olds spent the first few years of the adult life at University, or trying to work their way up the job ladder. If they encountered any vomit, it was usually on a drunken night in the student union; as opposed being stood by a $100,000 sports car, watching an overweight chef having in a midlife crisis, whom you had just seen an eighteen-year-old boy employ as a private chef.

'Right let's try and find that Hotel of yours.' Evelyn said, nodding for him to get into the car. Her Grandfather had once made a hotel disappear in one of his tricks; she needed to do the opposite. The TV audience had been left gobsmacked, as “The Great Conjure“ had pulled the curtain closed on a special gilded-frame, tapped it three times with his magic cane, before opening the curtain to reveal a deserted car park. Of course, all her grandfather had done was move the entire set twenty metres to the left, while the hotel remained exactly where it was. The live-audience had all been actors, trained to "Ooh" and "Awh" and sound flabbergasted in the background. There was no such thing as magic. If there were, she would have spirited herself away from here and would be playing for Raynor City United, or Starling.* Moreover, she most certainly wouldn't be driving this lump of lard around a tropical tax haven. She hadn't inherited any magical powers, just a silly name.

*The Champions' Cup finalists in the year this part of the story is set.

[Starblaydia]

Part One: Takeaway
Part Two: Duchess
Part Three: Fidget

"First of all, Tororin," the interviewer said, "it's great to have this chance to sit down with you."

"I'm very glad to be here, Saianne," Tororin Halatyrion replied.

"You've been head of the Starblaydi Football Association for a year now," Saianne DeJardin was never one to butter up her interviewees too much, always straight to the questions, "what have you achieved in that time that you're most proud of?"

"Well," Tororin inclined his head and raised his eyebrows ever so slightly. If you knew Elves, you knew this as essentially a slap in the face. Saianne wasn't starting off easy. "there are several things we've done that I'm very proud of. Ázëwyn Fëanáro is shaping up really nicely as the national team manager, I think we've made absolutely the right choice in appointing her and the squad that she's selected and the team that she's put in place around her are genuinely international class and one we can put our trust in to achieve their potential. I believe she'll also be having a role in the next Di Bradini Cup squad in terms of identifying the future talent for the country and we can bring up some really exciting prospects to the senior side when the time is right. Then there's the ediraf kits that we've worked out a new deal with, commissioning them to come up with the very best in Starblaydi design and sports technology together to really help our athletes perform to their best."

"You appear to have made quite the splash on the international scene, too," Saianne transitioned quickly to her next question, "the World Cup 78 draw was quite the event."

"It was great to be in attendance," he replied, his eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly to say, if you knew Elves, 'Don't mess with me, woman', "I've watched so many of these on SCB:Sports, it was very different to finally be there in the SFA seats and feel the tension in the room from the great and the good of world football as the names were drawn."

"You had quite the hand in the ceremony, so our sources tell us."

"I'm always happy to help others when they need it," Tororin opened his hands wide in a gesture of availability before bringing his fingertips together like an activating beartrap, seeing if she'd read the body language and drop it, "I didn't draw any names, seat any guests," he smiled, showing his teeth like a tiger warning you not to enter the forest, "very little, actually."

"But you did have an involvement?" Saianne pressed him on the question.

"When you have nearly eight thousand years of experience at events like these," He leaned back in his seat, his right shoulder moving back slightly further than his left, "even the smallest pieces of advice to debut hosts can be helpful."

"It's said you, or your office," Saianne cast her eyes down at her notes, ones that she didn't need but was just doing it to look like a real journalist, "found the illegal entry of Bape-Supreme and had them removed from the Qualifiers, bringing through Makongo - who we face next."

"Now, now, these little technical things come up in standard procedures all the time," Tororin held his hand out, open with the palm up. As he continued to speak, the elf turned his hand over, closing the fingers into a light gesture, the most delicate of closed hands, before placing it deliberately back in his lap. "If we hadn't have raised the inquiry to the World Cup Committee, someone else soon would have. No harm, no foul, just a minor oversight by the applicant nation."

"But taking these two instances together," Saianne pressed yet further, looking for the scoop, "is the SFA - is Starblaydia - taking more of an active role on the international scene. Is it your own initiative or has this come from even higher up?"

The meaning was clear, a list of past presidents of the Starblaydi Football Association included the current Lord-Protector. It had even been given to him by his elder brother, Curzon, as a 'runner-up' prize for not being the first born son of Tiberius Starblayde. Tororin Halatyrion locked eyes with Saianne DeJardin. For a journalist, a sports presenter, even for a human, she was exceptionally beautiful, but for the eyes and experiences of an elf, she was as a beige mannequin against a magnolia wall. Few others would be able to hold the stare as long as Halatyrion could, but this was a TV interview, and a lengthy stare-down would not help his cause.

"I'd make the argument that Starblaydia has been one of the most influential nations in the history of the administration of the World Cup. Whether you look at how the World Cup developed in the twenties under the terms of Di Bradini and Lopez, or the way Lex Panarii handled all that transition in between the forty-sixth and forty-seventh championships, the oversight of the current constitution and the rekindling of the Di Bradini Cup - of course you have Ariddia credited with beginning the whole thing, and it's not the Starblaydi Ranking System, plus the hard work of all the other national bodies who have put time and effort into the administration of the Cup - but the World Assembly's Security Council Commendation in the field of sport came to Starblaydia first, and I think that means something, reflects something. How useful have we, as Starblaydi football professionals, been in the last couple of decades to the World Cup Committee at large? Not all that ready to step forward, I'd say. It's about time we started pulling our weight again, as we'd ask anyone else to."

"Is that what 'We Want Six' is actually about? A record-breaking sixth run on top of the World Cup Committee?"

"Not at all," Tororin dismissed that question with the wave of a hand parallel to the ground, "'We Want Six' and it's complementary hashtag is the guiding principle for the SFA going forward. It's about doing everything we can to ensure that Starblaydia wins that sixth World Cup. Every decision we make, every programme we initiate, funding we give out and game we play has to be held up to a single, unavoidable question: is this going to increase the chances of winning a sixth world championship? If the answer is 'no', quite simply we don't do it. Will funding grass roots football increase our chances of winning a sixth world championship? Obviously the answer is yes, so we do. How about a new set of kits that focus on performance? Sure, so we have. A simple question; not always a simple answer. This is how we try and go about our task in the future."

"And does hosting a major international tournament in the future contribute to 'We Want Six'?"

"I think it very well might do," Tororin smiled with his eyes of the first time as his shoulders dropped ever so slightly, "quite which tournament we'd bid for is something we really have to look closely at, and can't pre-judge that at this stage. I can say, though the Cup of Harmony will come too soon for us at this stage of our development, though I'm not ruling out an AOCAF Cup or other World Cup Committee-controlled tournament in the near future. We'll have to see how everything pans out in the next few years. After all, when the world comes to Starblaydia, they always have a great time."

"Tororin Halatyrion," Saianne concluded with a perky beaming smile, "thank-you for your time."

"Oh, wow," Julius said, "I thought he was going to murder her on live television."

In the plush surroundings of the Praetoran Palace in Jhanna, Starblaydia's captial, Lord-Protector Julius Starblayde always took the time to catch up with the national football team's goings on. The interview with Tororin had particularly interested him as the two, man and elf, had been on the same page before the latter's appointment to President of the SFA at Julius' own say-so. It wasn't anything as trite as 'Make Starblaydia Great Again', but, with Chorus - no, Korra's ideas firmly planted in his head, the fortunes of the national football team were intrinsically tied to their plans. Or was it her plans? Julius could never really remember how they'd started. At least Korra didn't mind him catching up on all this football, she knew that his ability to stay in tune with the World Cup was crucial to his popularity. 'One of them', she always said, rather than 'us'. He wondered, not for the first time, quite where she'd come from, or what had drawn her to him. Just... why was Korra?

"What on earth made you think that?" Korra said, somewhat delayed, frowning as she scrolled through the many and varied reports on her tablet, "It seemed like a perfectly pleasant interview."

"You, my dear," he replied, leaning over and putting his hand on her thigh, "do not know Elves particularly well, nor especially Tororin Halatyrion. I played with him in the 28th AOCAF Cup. He was a vicious bastard then and is likely a vicious bastard now."

Korra briefly flicked her eyes down at the hand on her thigh as she sat cross-legged on the couch, looked back up at Julius, smiled a fake smile, and went back to reading her reports.

"Every move he made after the first question," Julius continued, "was straight out of a Vanorian Martial Arts textbook. The Piercing Thorn, the Twin Fang, I even think i saw the beginnings of a Nejiri Uraken."

"A what?"

"Torque backfist, it translates to," Julius answered, "devastating if you can hit it properly. In fact, what are you doing, anyway?"

"My dear Julius," she said, never taking her eyes from the screen, scrolling and taking in all the information as per usual, "we've been speaking now for more than a century, and I know just how much you think about football and how much of your mind you allocate to the governing of this country. Don't try and deny it, you can never lie to me, remember?"

Korra quickly stopped speaking, hesitating for a moment. She put the tablet by her side on the arm of the couch and turned her body to face Julius, his hand sliding off her thigh as she came to kneel on the couch beside him.

"Look," she continued, resting her hands on his wide shoulders, and leaning in close, the tips of her long dark hair brushing softly against his arm, "we can never lie to each other. You've always needed help, because you're not Curzon, and because Lexi's not here to help you any more, either."

She felt his pain, the inner turmoil of his older sister's suicide and how he'd learned of it at the World Cup Draw so many years before. She reveled in it, drank it in and grew emboldened from it, as all the while her soft, wide eyes of the deepest brown looked straight into his soul like the most innocent of kittens.

"And now you've got me, and I've got you," she said with what sounded like the purest of loves in her heart. "Let me help with the day-to-day boring stuff; I'm good at that. Smile. Wave. Be the hero i know you are, let me stand beside you and we'll take on the world together. Anything they throw at us, we'll survive. And thrive."

"As father and daughter." Julius tried to make it sound like a question, hinting at the hope of something more.

"You" she cuffed him playfully across the shoulder with a gentle laughter behind her eyes. "You men are all the same!"

"Maybe," he shot back, ""but just look at you, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"

"You're just saying that because I'm the only thing you can see right now."

She always had the comeback that left him stumped, that one step ahead whenever he thought he had the killer line or the final piece of couples' banter. She'd always say something that made him laugh, left him shocked, or simply unable to think of the retort. He loved that about her, and just wished he could do the same once in a while.

"Tell me about the football," she said with a smile, reaching back and retrieving the pad without even glancing in its direction. "was it as beautiful as the last match you watched? And I promise," she waggled a finger at him as her eyes went down to the screen, "I am listening."

"Well two-two wasn't particularly beautiful," he said as she sat back, wedging herself against the arm of the couch away from him. "We were two-nil up thanks to Nauglamír and Kabeya, and should have won it, but at least we're still undefeated."

"Undefeated," Korra repeated after a slight mental delay, "that's always nice."

"Well yes, and we're still top of the group, but the three teams with a game in hand can all catch us really easily. It's early days."

"Early days," she confirmed, not really listening. She had armies to position.

[Cassadaigua]

Drawkland Game to be held in Brattleboro

So hey, did you buy tickets for the qualifying game between Cassadaigua and Drawkland at Concord Heights Stadium? Well, I suggest you read on. In light of the complaints about conflicting scheduling at Concord Heights Stadium between the World Baseball Classic championship series, the Cassadagan Association for Soccer Excellence (CASE) has decided to relocate the series to the large city Brattleboro, which is about 200 miles east of Concord Heights.

Danielle Resnick, the Spokeswoman for CASE said in a statement,

“In light of complaints from the players about field conditions at Concord Heights Stadium, and the way they were treated like an opening act for their game against Red Blackiland, we have decided that it is best to avoid Concord Heights while the World Baseball Classic final series is going on. Unfortunately, the stadium is prioritizing baseball at this point, and now with the championship series about to take place, there is less of an interest to accommodate the soccer team. I think that stadium personnel feels bad about this, but it is still very disappointing that our return to international soccer is being handled like this. We were stunned when they changed the game time of the Red Blackiland match to 12-noon on such short notice. For the most recent game against Anthor, we were able to play on the scheduled time and date, but still don’t think the field was in top shape for a soccer game. Plus, the Super-Llamaland team did a number on their locker room from their celebration from eliminating Newmanistan. And apparently some players on the Newmanistan were a little disappointed, as there was a little bit of damage that we had to fix in there. Nothing big, but you expect better conditions for an international soccer game. We have a little bit of time now, but the next home game against Drawkland is against a top, though not an elite eleven, side, and everyone deserves proper conditions. In Brattleboro, we can make it happen!”

In light of complaints from CASE, the Cassadagan Association for Baseball had a response. This is the statement issued by CAB President, Julia Ellis,

“The Cassadagan Association for Baseball is committed to putting on the best baseball atmosphere for the tournament in which we were entrusted to host. In our opinion, we have done a great job doing so, and owe it to the nations of Schiltzberg and Super-Llamaland that their final series is hosted without any soccer interruptions. CASE was aware of the dates planned to host the baseball finals, and that they were to be held in Concord Heights. The only errors are their administrative errors. We are glad to see soccer return as well, but they seemed to think they could strong-arm us. They complain about the lack of fanfare, well, the reason is that you tried to go somewhere where fanfare for something else is already existing. They have come to the conclusion that they need to go to Brattleboro, and it’s about time.”


If you have tickets for the Drawkland match at Concord Heights Stadium, here are your options:

1) You can return them for a full refund.

2) You can replace them for a ticket to another qualifying game at Concord Heights Stadium.

3) You can replace them for a ticket to Brattleboro Stadium within 36 hours. There is a 36-hour wait period for current ticket holders to get a replacement ticket before seats at Brattleboro Stadium go on sale to the general public.

4) You can arrive very early in the AM at Concord Heights and take a complimentary shuttle from Concord Heights to Brattleboro, and back. Shuttles will begin picking up at 8 am and run every half hour until game time in Brattleboro. Shuttles will be available from Brattleboro to Concord Heights in return starting at half time of the game, and going every 20 minutes from them until two hours after the conclusion of the game.


If you are wondering about next home game after Drawkland, against an the Republic of Kaboomlandia, that game will also be played in Brattleboro, and all of the above will apply to that game as well. After that, there should be no more baseball conflicts.

[Spaam]

Spaam Continues Winning Run

The Orange and Black have had their third win in a row, by downing Islana Luniga in Grand Westportiva Park in Moaria. The Lunigans were very familiar to Spaamanian fans, having played in last year's Baptism of Fire in Skaganes, and atmosphere was festive in the tiny Esportivan island as they welcomed the visitors. With Spaam football coming off a high after their vital upset win over second seed Krytenia, and the rise of Giant Zucchini striker Urk, there was a lot of confidence coming into the match. Much interest was given to the new recruit in Moaria, as most of the fans and tourists had never seen a footballer quite like Urk, but the left winger was his usual stoically silent self as he walked through the streets the day before the match.

With the stands filled with locals, tourists from across Esportiva and the increasingly vocal Orange and Black Bloc that had travelled all the way from Spaam, both teams were loudly cheered as they came onto the field. But the Lunigans fans were quickly silenced as the first blow came in the first minute, as a long Briddara Ralora ball managed to meet up with Urk. He was able to step past three defenders before sending the ball past sky blue keeper Joni Toklu into the opposite side of the goal. The home side seemed genuinely shocked at the quick start by the Spaamanians, and quickly retreated into a heavy defensive formation. This slowed the game up and the visitors had a lot of trouble playing their usual midfield controlling game.

With the stifling defense interrupting their natural game, the Spaamanian strikers started pushing deep into the Lungian's territory, and it was a clever combination in the 39th minute that finally broke the deadlock. Sky blue defender Poli Roarki was double-teamed by vice-captain Thalia Fenzana and right-wing Kian Rose, with Mela Sehelin pouncing on the lose ball from that battle and tapping it in through goal past a surprised Toklu. Spaam went into the break shortly after with a two goal lead, and a lot of confidence in the tropical air with the buffer.

After the restart, Spaamanian coach Hewelan Faaberos rested his two goal scorers and switched up his formation into an unfamiliar (at least to their fans) 5-4-1 defensive set up. With the two goal lead, the visitors seemed to be content to tempt Islana Luniga into attacking more in order to break the deadlock. The upside for the crowd was the game's tempo increased as the home side pushed the ball further into Spaam's territory, though there was still a lack of shots on target. However, the rest of the game ended up being uneventful, with the second half finishing as it started, and Spaam recording their third straight win. Spaam come back home for a game against the goalless Parakos in their next match, as they attempt for a record four straight.

Islana Lunigo 0-2 Spaam
                                    (Urk 1', Sehelin 39')

Group 2 Wrapup

In other matches in Group 2, Ko-oren recorded their first win of the tournament, taking out the winless debutants Allahakbarium with a single goal. Meanwhile, it was a vital win for second seeds Krytenia, as the defeated long-time rivals and fourth seeds Quakmybush for their first win of the tournament by a massive four goals to one. Finally, group favourites Gregoryisgodistan continued their perfect start to qualifying, chalking up a a two goal to none away win against the a still goalless Parakos.

Spaam is now at the top of the table, ahead of top seeds Gregoryisgodistan on goal difference. Surprise unbeaten team Furby Island stay in third after their bye, with a three goal advantage over everyone else. Krytenia is the best of the rest, goal difference keeping them ahead Ko-oren, Islana Lunigo and Quakmybush, but with a six point deficit to second place already, their qualifying season is already in trouble. Finally, Allahakbarium and Parakos round out the bottom, with Parakos in last thanks to a failure to score.

   Group 2             Pld   W   D   L  GF  GA  GD  Pts 
 1 Spaam                 3   3   0   0   6   1  +5    9
 2 Gregoryisgodistan     3   3   0   0   4   0  +4    9
 3 Furby Island          2   2   0   0   6   3  +3    6
 4 Krytenia              3   1   0   2   4   4   0    3
 5 Ko-oren               3   1   0   2   3   4  −1    3
 6 Islana Lunigo         3   1   0   2   2   3  −1    3
 7 Quakmybush            3   1   0   2   4   7  −3    3
 8 Allahakbarium         2   0   0   2   2   5  −3    0
 9 Parakos               2   0   0   2   0   4  −4    0

Spaam host Parakos in their next match, in what will hopefully be a fourth straight win, before travelling to Gregoryisgodistan, who has the bye, for their toughest test of the entire season. Quakmybush will be hosting Islana Lunigo, as they try and salvage some chance to qualify, while the Krytenia travel to Allahakbarium in a must win for the second seeds. Finally, Furby Island will host Ko-oren in an attempt to keep their winning streak and a chance at a very unlikely qualification.

World Cup 28 Two-Hundred Year Reunion

In the 200th anniversary of World Cup 28, we will be giving a run down of the seven current teams (not counting Spaam) who were playing back in those early days. And where better to start than the sole team (again not counting Spaam) who was also playing in World Cup 3, three-hundred years ago. Of course, we are speaking of the magnificent Holy Empire, formerly known as Alasdair I Frosticus, in honour of its great founder.

As a founding team, World Cup 3 was already their third cup, and though they had hosted the previous iteration, they had not made the top eight and had to go through qualification (which happened to also be Spaam's first attempt). However, they easily topped their group unbeaten and were draw into a group that included future National Hall of Fame inductees Europa Britannia, who would go on to win two titles, and Svecia. This was a challenge too far for the Holy Empire, who lost their first two matches to them, and only won on the last matchday against Belly Bombers.

A hundred years later the World Cup had doubled in size, and much had happened in that time. But this tournament was hosted by the Archregimancy, another land in the Holy Empire, while Alasdair I Frosticus were subjected to qualifying. In their group were the eventual semifinalists Hockey Canada and former third-placed Haraki, and these two were more than a match for monks, who finished fifth. As an aside, this was still better than Spaam, who unfortunately finished last in their group despite being a top thirty nation.

The real excitement would be in World Cup 28 proper, where the Archregimancy were drawn with future champions Casari and Bettia, as well as Cataduanes. The monks started perfectly, downing Bettia two goals to none, but were almost undone in their next match against Cataduanes, eventually coming out 3-2 winners. This was enough for the Archregimancy to progress, but their confidence was rocked in the final group match, as they were dominated three goals to none by Casari. Nevertheless, in the Round of 16, the home advantage was enough for them to defeat Tadjikistan by two-nil.

This was to be as far as they got, as the team they knocked out Alasdair I Frosticus, Hockey Canada, took out the other monks by two goals. The Archregimancy would eventually finish third in World Cup 42, but it was as the Holy Empire that they found their true success. The Holy Empire would go on to win World Cup 48, 60, 62 and 69, and place another six times, to go down as one of the greatest teams to have ever existed. Let's finish this article with a 200-year old copy of The Monastic Times. Vale, Holy Empire!

[Barunia]

Barunia enter the World Cup qualifiers with a lot of new and very young faces.
The Cup of Harmony brought a high point for many of the team's ageing veterans to end their careers on. The legendary keeper Paul "The Wall" Bainbridge, who made it to two Cup of Harmony finals, Lisa "Pocket Rocket" Collins-Holzknecht, Akio Sweet (another dual CoH finalist), Kass Berry, Thomas Marsh; all hung up their boots after another campaign that fell agonisingly close of the nation's first silverware. Other changes have been made: youth has been the big focus for coach Adam Johnson, himself only started in the job last cycle. The result is a 23-member team with 15 new faces. Only 8 veterans remain, with only 3 having competed in World Cup 75. With so little experience, finding a new captain would be tough, and immediately the fore-runners suggested that the Suns would have its first female captain, with McClelland, Miller, and Berry all named as the most likely candidates, with Daniel Kyrow also a possible and Benitez a rank outsider. After Berry announced her retirement, the selection came down to three names: Kyrow, McClelland, and Miller. The announcement of the Suns new captain took place at the BFA Awards ceremony, where Miller was handed her armband by none the than Berry herself, who captained Barunia's women's team in the Olympics. Other recipients of awards in the team are James Kennedy (Golden Boot/Male player of the year), Joel Greeves (Young player of the year), Lydia Hook (Golden Gloves/Goalkeeper of the year), and Liesel McClelland (Female player of the year).

This is what selectors are backing as the future of Barunian football, a team that can push beyond to Cup of Harmony 2nd places, to lift an actual trophy. With the retirement of Kass Berry, all national team players now ply their trade in the X-League. There has been a focus on development within the last few years, and now is the time for investment to pay off, in one way or another, Wether it will work or not, only time will tell, but the early signs are good.

After a bye on the first matchday, Barunia headed in with something to prove against Mriin. 2 goals to Kennedy and 1 to Miller proved the new look attack was working well. Unfortunately the defence struggled to contain the pace of the satyrs, with Vol and Kreuger combining to put three past Lydia Hook, ending the game in a draw.
Hook redeemed herself in the game against Polar Islandstates however. While this is far from the Valhallan team that stormed to two world titles, they are still Polar Islandstates, and that alone should warrant a second glance at the scorecard. 3-1 it read, after Brown headed in a corner early in the piece. Miller got the second in before half time with a low drive.
Down the back, the defence were finding the human shape of the Islanders much easier to cope with than satyrs. They denied every attempt on goal, and Hook might have had a clean sheet if it weren't for McClelland defending a corner a little too roughly; Hook picked wrong on the resulting penalty and Polar Islandstates had a goal. With Kennedy proving ineffectual down the other end, Johnson handed Forrest Smith his international debut, and the youngster needed no time to add to his credentials, scoring Barunia's third goal after a great assist by Miller.

The four points, with one less game played than most of the group, puts Barunia in a strong position early on. However, this is a familiar story to Barunians, who often seem to run out of steam about three quarters of the way through qualifying. The defence will need to get themselves sorted if recent results are anything to go by: Juvencus scored 6 in their game ageist Loynn, while world number 2 Farfadillis put 7 past Buyan, having already slotted 6 past Cheongji. It's an attack heavy group, and Barunia will need to be ready for it.

[Electrum]

An Electrumite parody of The Onion/Clickhole.

The Turnip: Five possible parallel universes where Electrum will win the 78th edition of the World Cup that you need to know about
by Billiam Maskey, blogger

The World Cup's qualification is just getting started, but Electrum somehow always makes its way into the finals. In the World Cup Proper itself, Electrum always underperforms, and this is because of this universe's tendency to not allow Electrum to have a chance at the Championship. The Turnip, using Bayesian modelling and Monte-Carlo simulations, will investigate several possibilities of parallel universes with different laws of physics where it is possible for Electrum to win the 78th edition of the World Cup! With these theoretical victories, it will be just like winning the actual thing! With infinite parallel universes, there are infinitely many ways that Electrum will win the World Cup. We list just five of the most interesting theories proposed by our scientists for your perusal.

1. A parallel universe where all of the other players are just sentient clouds of dust
It's unbelievable but it's true! Theoretically speaking, if all of the other players were just sentient clouds of dust, the Electrumite players could easily kick the balls through them, making the World Cup perpetually ours, and this would continue for 90 minutes. It would probably be called the "Electrum Cup" because we would keep winning the World Cup over and over again. Of course the clouds of dust would be upset, they are sentient, but they put up with it to stay with good relations with us, as we would be the only non-clouds of dust form of life in the entire universe.

2. A parallel universe where Electrum is led by a super-evil villain
The super-evil villain, named Magical Morris, ruler of Electrum, would astound the universe which his evil feats of magic. In one of his latest tricks in one of Electrum's group stage matches, Magical Morris would personally make the other team's players disappear in a puff of acidic, poisonous gas. From then on, all of the other players would be too afraid to play against Electrum, leading Electrum to win by default: the best kind of victory known to man.

3. A parallel universe where mastery over the sixth dimension has been achieved
Some scientists say that travel between parallel universes is possible only through the sixth dimension and beyond, so Electrumites in a parallel universe that have conquered over the sixth dimension, but unable to win the World Cup, and are morally bankrupt as to not care about messing up other parallel universes for the sake of a World Cup, would be able to travel through the sixth dimension to a reality where Electrum did indeed win the World Cup, and take it back to the aforementioned parallel universe as proof that Electrum has indeed won a World Cup.

4. A parallel universe where Electrum hosted the 78th World Cup and Margaret didn't exist
The goddess Margaret, the very first angel in the entire multiverse and who seized authority over luck and randomness is out of the picture. When the goddess Margaret was killed in a titanic struggle against another goddess Elune, when both were dragged down into an Abyss between the extra-dimensional places where the goddesses reside, luck and randomness are no longer a thing anymore. All nations of the multiverse would take turns bidding and hosting for the World Cup, and then subsequently being able to make the results so that the hosts would win 100% of the time, thus when Electrum hosts the 78th World Cup by themselves, they would be able to ensure a victory.

5. A parallel universe where Electrum is actually good at football
There must exist a parallel universe where Electrum is just simply too good at football that they win every single match always. The multiverse will be hapless to reach the same heights we have, making the sport become so unpopular to a point where the World Cup becomes irrelevant. In fact, it is most likely that the sport of the multiverse is actually 7ball. Its championship is called the "Multiverse Cup" and Electrum would be mediocre in that sport (ranking 21st in the BPK rankings) instead of football.

[Oontaz Dert Li Ng]

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WORLD CUP 78 QUALIFIERS: THE HOLY EMPIRE VS OONTAZ
By Abdulmecid Macasaysayan


The Oontaznik national football team poses for the cameras for the game against The Holy Empire. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Oliver Hassanal)

THE HOLY EMPIRE - The Sultanate of Oontaz lost their second World Cup qualifying match after a lucky early goal from Iago Sphrantzes forced the Lions of Sand and Sea on the back foot and they were never able to claw back the deficit.

The Holy Empire were hot right out of the gates with sustained pressure against the Lions of Sand and Sea, and this early pressure eventually paid off when Martin Opulencia fluffed his lines and mishit an intended backpass to Karim Ansarifarid, allowing Sphrantzes to pounce and slot home.

This forced the Lions of Sand and Sea out of their shells and attempt attacks at the Holy Empire's goal, but this proved to be an exercise in futility as goalkeeper Manuel Lascaro, who was described as being over 110 meters tall despite being obviously only a very tiny fraction of that, made up what he very obviously lacked in height with stellar goalkeeping ability.

The best chance that Oontaz had was in the dying minutes of the game when substitutes Oren Ya'akovi and Uziel Gal Tza'eer combined to produce an impressive headed effort from a cross but once again, Manuel Lascaro proved to be too much for the Lions of Sand and Sea to beat.

Oontaz manager Ador Macaspac: "Another terrible game, it has to be said. They scored first and we were never able to properly compensate for it. You can defend very well in a game for so long but all it takes is one mistake, whether it's from your players or the referee, and the opponent has scored. It sucks, of course."

 THE HOLY EMPIRE 1 - 0 OONTAZ
SPHRANTZES (15')

OONTAZ DERT LI NG
GK: 1 Ansarifarid
RB: 25 Opulencia
RCB: 3 Macaraig
LCB: 49 Campanilla (Sarimanok - 49')
LB: 15 Portencio
DM: 5 San Marcelino
CM: 7 Abu Nayef
RM: 77 Zulfikar (Ya'akovi - 65' █)
CAM: 20 Dimaintindihan
LM: 75 Zulfiqli (Tza'eer - 65' █)
ST: 7 Godzilla

THE HOLY EMPIRE
GK: 1 Lascaro
RB: 2 Bardaso
CB: 3 Palaeologo (Planudes - 60')
LB: 4 Vatatzes
RM: 5 Ducaso
RCM: 6 Glycaso (Pselluso - 79')
CM: 8 Attaliates
LCM: 7 Comneno
LM: 11 Phocaso
RS: 10 Palamaso
LS: 9 Sphrantzes

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
The Holy Empire: 59%
Oontaz: 41%
Shots
The Holy Empire: 17 (9 on target)
Oontaz: 3 (1 on target)
Corners
The Holy Empire: 9
Oontaz: 2
Fouls
The Holy Empire: 10
Oontaz: 25

---

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WORLD CUP 78 QUALIFIERS: OONTAZ VS EASTFIELD LODGE
By Abdulmecid Macasaysayan


The Oontaznik national football team prepares for action against Eastfield Lodge. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Oliver Hassanal)

QOPH, NUBALOCHISTAN, OONTAZ - Two own goals at both halves ensured that the Sultanate of Oontaz would slump to their third consecutive defeat in the qualifiers for the 78th World Cup.

The game was pretty much of even terms before Makhdoum Macaraig's shin accidentally deflected a cross from an Eastfield Lodge player beyond the reach of Karim Ansarifarid and into the back of the net.

Oontaz could very well have scored an equalizer courtesy of Karimabdul Dimaintindihan when he lashed home a free kick from 29 meters but the ball just kissed the near post and went the wrong way.

Not even the introduction of stalwart substitutes Uziel Gal Tza'eer and Oren Ya'akovi could change the course of the game although Ya'akovi had a shout for a penalty denied despite him being obviously clipped on the back of the leg by the studs of an Eastfield Lodge player.

The game was eventually put out of reach by another own goal, this time from Haider Zulfikar, whose attempt at a defensive header actually squeezed into the crossbar and into the back of the net. Zulfikar was sent into the referee's notebook after vehemently protesting the awarding of the own goal even though it was very clear that the ball last came off him before going into goal.

Oontaz manager Ador Macaspac: "Now this was just embarrassing. Three Oontaznik players have scored but at the wrong end. This is not right. Something must change. Whether it's the tactics or the players, something has to change. That's the only thing I'm sure of right now, otherwise we might as well just forfeit all the other games."

OONTAZ 0 - 2 EASTFIELD LODGE
             MACARAIG (23' og)
             ZULFIKAR (85' og)

OONTAZ DERT LI NG
GK: 1 Ansarifarid
RB: 25 Opulencia
RCB: 3 Macaraig
LCB: 49 Campanilla
LB: 15 Portencio
DM: 5 San Marcelino
CM: 7 Abu Nayef
RM: 77 Zulfikar █ (Ya'akovi - 57')
CAM: 20 Dimaintindihan
LM: 75 Zulfiqli (Tza'eer - 74')
ST: 7 Godzilla (Estevez - 81')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Oontaz: 52%
Eastfield Lodge: 48%
Shots
Oontaz: 9 (4 on target)
Eastfield Lodge: 7 (3 on target)
Corners
Oontaz: 5
Eastfield Lodge: 4
Fouls
Oontaz: 15
Eastfield Lodge: 12

[Coldfield]

01:10 a.m.|Orangefish City

Green was talking to four other criminals in a cheap brothel in the middle of downtown Orangefish. Not to be recognized Green wore a perfectly crafted silicone mask, a disguise that had always worked well. All - except Green - were armed.

"First they demote Salvadores to the Second Division and later destroy our last hope against them." One of the Black Pigeons commented.
"It was a dirty trick from Moonlight... Certainly the separatists from Vinte de Setembro has a hand in Bahia's relegation. They know about us, and we know about them..." Said another criminal, drinking whiskey from the bottle.
"Can we just shoot down Setembro's plane? We also lost a lot of money after funding Portuário FC in the national cup - only for lose the final against Vinte de Setembro." Green asked
"ARE YOU NUTS? They have world class athletes! Save the golden boys before shit hits the fan!" Said a tall, slender man in a silver suit and cranky temperament.
"The boss doesn't want to lose more money!" Green replied, angrily staring at his partner.
"If the boss wants to save what remained, then he'll have to sacrifice part of his precious treasure." Said the whiskey drinker, agreeing with David Green.
"And who will convince him?" Green asked
"This is the problem. Nobody has cojones to persuade the cheese."

Green thought, and thought, and thought. He thought quickly, he thought deeply, but he could not find a solution. He thought of the freaks he'd gotten himself into because of the gang but had miraculously escaped with his life in all incidents. From the dirty cash he collected over the years. Of the various manipulations that worked. Just as when he joined the BPs, where David was still a peasant teenager with no future in Coldfield's aristocratic society, Green was reckless. And now, again reckless. He quickly decided and surprised his colleague.

"I will."
"ARE YOU NUTS?" The guy in the silver suit spoken.
"No, I guess.?" Green answered ironically
"This is serious, David. He is furious and everyone here fucking knows how the boss acts!"
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Asked with deep concern a man in his middle-age who was quiet as yet.
"Sure."

---

Murray was in good physical condition, but the fatigue resulting from the match against Devonta and the lack of a good bed to sleep in the middle of the night made it difficult for him to climb up to Green's room. Accompanied only by a rope, his clothes, and a camera, Dean leaned on loose bricks and cracks in the walls until he reached the third floor, where he was suspended by his rope, next to the window where the Black Pigeons meeting was taking place. Dean Murray could hear a few murmurs and miraculously took three photos without being seen. It was not long before the five criminals left the room; At this moment Murray cautiously opened the window and entered the room, going straight from the darkness of the night to the clarity of a ball in festivity. He slammed the door with a chair and searched in a hurry for anything that might incriminate Green. He searched intensely for two minutes and found nothing, turning the room into a huge mess; Until someone knocked on the door:

"Who's there?"

Murray froze, his nape flushed and instinctively he pulled an invisible weapon from his waist: he had forgotten that he had left his equipment inside the car! Realizing his stupidity the agent broke something called the "protocol of silence" and jumped out of the window, picking up the abseil during the jump and falling into a strategically placed large bin. He fell into the bin and felt a deep pain in his foot; Murray held on and went to his car with the abseiling in his hands. Secure inside of the car, Dean Murray waited for the targets to leave the brothel. It would have stung as if nothing had happened, just watching the brothel's exit. He remained quiet as if nothing had happened, imagining the tumult that he would cause if caught inside. He almost slept inside the car, but the agent's instinct to do his duty kept him awake, his eyes open and the camera in his hands. Every minute one of the five criminals left the brothel; David Green was the last one to leave. Each of them got into a different car and everyone - except Green - went in the same direction. Murray started the engine of his sedan and headed toward the street where the national team goalkeeper's colleagues had entered.

[Port Christopher]

In this second piece, on the efforts being made to build on Port Christopher's small footballing successes, we are going to look at youth development on the Island. In particular, Port Christopher's first dedicated academy, which is now into its second year, and already proving to be a success.

The Football Association of Port Christopher have been successful in their funding application, calling for Schottic High Council money to extend the Regional Academy Programme to the Esportivan colony. The system has been up and running back in Schottia for nearly twenty years now, and has produced international stars such as Stephen Paul, and Višnja Brankovič, who have both gone on to have great success in Multiverse football. Should Port Christopher be able to produce anyone close to this level, then it will most certainly be a boon for manager Jim Reid in terms of his selection options.

The Regional Academy Programme has always aimed to create well rounded and intelligent individuals who happen to be good footballers, as opposed to good players at any cost. To those ends, they offer full higher and further education programmes, allowing players to complete the school system, and choose from a number of undergraduate degrees along side their training. The idea behind this is simply the fact that more balanced players, with a broader outlook on life, should make for more reliable and professional players.

There is already some proof that the system is working, with keeper Oskar Del Herrera, and midfielder Ellie Graham both called up to Jim Reid's qualifying squad. And the fact that there may well be more to come, will be music to the manager's ears, given the problem that he has had putting together a squad of 23 strong players.

The NS$600,000 complex has been built on the outskirts of the City of Port Christopher, on a stretch of reclaimed land which was once part of the imperial harbour. The state of the art facility has a gym, lecture theatre, and swimming pool, along with two training pitches (one indoor). The academy can cater for up to a hundred and thirty students, from the age of twelve, until they turn twenty-two, with a team of coaches specialised to coach at the students' respective levels. There are separate staff for academic subjects, with university students also having access to the University of Port Christopher's facilities.

Clubs have always done their bit in developing their own players, with the academies at Willox Street and New Dundee by far the most successful. However, the idea of a national academy, not bound to any one side, is an entirely new concept, and we will need to see what affect it has on the state of play. With players free to leave on the completion of their education, there is obviously no obligation for them to stay in Port Christopher, as both Del Herrera and Graham have shown. It will there for be the responsibility of the local clubs to bring these players on board and do what they can to stop good talent heading to the exit door.

Like all things the academy may be a bit of a mixed blessing, but anything that can help shape a few more of the island's rough diamonds will be a positive step forward.

[Valanora]

What to do when the Goddess whom you serve and had made you one of their champions goes quiet, not for days nor weeks or months, but for over a year? Initially Tobias had believed that perhaps Elune had merely allowed him a reprieve from his duties as one of her champions, to let him live something close to a normal life with his wife and children. As a member of the royal house and the head of various programs, normalcy for Tobias was something quite different than what it was for most people. However, the continued lack of the voice in the back of his head giving him direction or advice on what was the best course to pursue to protect the Eternal Realm began to give Tobias pause. He went to the great temple at Char Sara to confer with the High Priestess to see if she had been in contact with their goddess and that it had been nothing but a reprieve of duty that quiet had come from. Much to his astonishment, he found that the High Priestess as well as the entirety of the clergy and all those who heard the voice of Elune had not heard her for months now and they were all becoming quite concerned about a potential battle of the heavens.

Such concern was not unfounded, Tobias recalled the last time that the clergy had failed to hear the voice of Elune for any sustained amount of time, it was the time of the Great Shadow War. Valanora had been enveloped by a strange shadowy like mist for nearly two years, a mist that seemed to have either magical or technological properties, as communication could not be established with the outside world and any sort of transportation that was attempted to enter or leave the land had resulted in the vehicle and passengers returning to their point of origin instead. It had been nearly three months into that strange mist's appearance that the dark elves of the underway, drow in the human tongue, rose from their seclusion and waged a war upon the surface dwellers, with monsters and demons from the Seven Hells by their side. The population had been decimated by the surprise and swift nature of the attack before Tobias' was able to rally a resistance and began to fight back the dark elves to a stalemate. Victory was achieved when Jas Hatire appeared on the field, clad in his divine armor and cut a path through the hellspawn and their dark elven masters, pushing them back to the underway. It had been a victory but one that had taken nearly a third of Valanora's population and only divine interference spared greater casualties.

The clergy would later find out that it was during this time that Melikki, the Goddess of Chaos and Destruction, had captured and restrained Elune. Though they had both once been elves like Tobias and other Vanorians, both had became divine beings, though through two entirely different circumstances. It was Jas Hatire who had managed to free Elune and returned Melikki to the prison in the Seven Hells from which she had escaped and sought her retribution against her former kin. That entire conflict was something quite heavy for Tobias, for the Raynor family had dark elf blood in them, some historians even saying that the family had initially been drow, though such claims were usually dismissed due to a lack of evidence or as propaganda to destabilize the nation. If his family was descended from the drow, Tobias did not know, for his parents nor his other family had ever chosen to discuss the subject and Artanis was content in holding his tongue in the matter, believing that if Tobias' parents had chosen not to discuss it then it was not his place either.

"Are we about to enter another time of shadow or is there something else going on here?" he mused to himself, sitting at the oak desk in his study, with a pair of candles on either end illuminating the nearly century old desk as midnight drew near. The clergy had suggested that Tobias might be able to summon other champions of Elune, as that is what they believed had happened during the Shadow War and how Hatire had been able to be summoned to the mortal plane despite Elune being restrained. If anyone was going to know what was going on with their goddess, then surely it would be the souls of those heroes she had called into servitude, offering them true immortality in the Gray Havens as her sword and shield for all of Silverymoon. However he wondered if he really had that ability of if the clergy had merely misinterpreted those events in the time after they occurred, for he was not one of Elune's chosen then as far as he know. Still, a desire to know the truth behind the void where Elune's voice should have been pressed upon the man. Putting quill to paper, he began to draw up the letter, requesting the High Priestess to the manor in the coming days to attempt such a conjuring and perhaps getting the answers both of them desired.

[Eshan]

Being the brains behind a football team is always a strenuous position. So many hours spent practicing, revising, specializing, in so many different aspects of the game, never ceasing to tweak your game plan, tinkering to counter specific threats and react to certain offensive playstyles. And yet at the end of the day, football really comes down to who's better. There's very rarely a magic position or play style that results in domination, it comes down to the eleven players and how they stack up against the other eleven. Which was pretty good news for Alexio del Nieran; as the manager of the Echani national team there were only 41 teams in the world that, on paper least, were rated better than his boys. But you'd be foolish to write off the Echani team, they'd proven capable of hitting above their rank one more than occasion.

del Nieran's mind was furiously at work, pouring over minute details of his team's game plan as they came up on their third match day. The World Cup qualification campaign had gone well so far, two victories from two, but there were already signs for concern and praise. Alexio's hands were busy at working skinning potatoes; there's nothing more relaxing than skinning a nice, meaty potato while you turn off the active parts of your mind and mostly click out from this existence and enter a sort of elven reverie where you can think about that which is most pressing.

For the Echani national team manager, that meant the current issue that was goals. Too many allowed, plenty scored. This was an issue that he had foreseen coming when he had decided to start the brilliant Artemis Montanari and relegate Xavi Arisilde to the bench. Both were world class players, but they bring vastly different aspects to the game and wildly alter the already finely-balanced juggernaut that was the national team.

Xavi Arisilde was more of a holding midfielder who sat neat the center circle and used his vision and excellent passing range to dictate play from a deep-lying playmaker position. He was a solid defender and allowed Jean-Marie Bentacur the total freedom to focus on offensive duties, rather than having to track too much back on defense as Arisilde and Samper Markovic provided a double defensive pivot.

Alexio del Nieran peeled another potato, expertly dragging the fine blade smoothly from bottom to top of the potato, seamlessly skinning it and lifting the brown, earthly exterior with a precision a laser-guiding robot would sweat itself trying to match. If it could sweat.

Thinking on Artemis Montanari and what the extraordinarily talented 20 year old brought to the team, del Nieran was still convinced he had made the right move. One of, if the not the most complete players Eshan has ever produced, the 6'3 player was so skilled overall, so capable in every facet of the game and a world-class athlete on top of that, that he could play in any position with ease and expertise. Great dribbling, top class passing, brilliant senses for both offensive, off the ball movement and defensive positioning, a great long-range shooter, a solid tackler, he was the quintessential roaming playmaker, a player you could just trust to throw onto the field and let him do his thing and he would impact the game. Which was precisely the paradox behind Artemis Montanari from a managerial perspective. His greatest strength was his biggest weakness.

To truly unleash Montanari's football skills you had to give him free reign to move around the field and contribute to offense and defense at his pleasure, to act on his instincts. Great rewards, but also a sort of ever-shifiting black hole from a positioning and contribution viewpoint. For his constant movements meant that del Nerian and the team overall couldn't rely on him to contribute to the overall framework, the plan so to speak, as his location and offensive-defensive inclinations can never be truly predicted or counted on. It's hard to build a defensive scheme based on that; it's hard to have a coherent offensive game plan with a free-floating cog.

But the 20 year was sheer brilliance, and you have to carve out a spot for world-class talent when it's presented to you, and that's exactly what Alexio del Nieran had done by starting Artemis Montanari for the national team, and it had payed off. Over the first two games, the team had put on master-class in goal scoring, finding the net 11 times in 180 minutes of play. A goal and three assists so far for Montanari and his overall-play was simply superb; although the team was still had 14 matches left to go in a long campaign, he had been one of the best performers so far. On the other hand, the team had also conceded 5 goals to teams it shouldn't be giving a single one up to. Some part of that was due to defensive error, but a lot had to revolved around Montanari.

While he would certainly stop defensive movements and clear cur chances with positioning, last minute tackles, and helping hold the line, other times he was caught out on offense and it would be Samper Markovic all on his own in the midfield trying to shield the back four, often with an outside back also joined in the attacking movement, so it's really a disjointed defensive four trying to stop a full-blown counter attack in the World Cup; these are situations you generally wish to avoid.

And so that was the conundrum at hand with Alexio del Nieran and the Eshan national team facing down the barrel at their next opponents, the 18th best team in the……well……it's hard to use the word world to describe them, but at either rate The Holy Empire was a force to be reckoned with.

The group leaders sat three points and a game in hand over Eshan, with three wins from three and ten goals and five conceded; the similarities were certainly there. The question at hand, besides what to do with all the potatoes he had been skinning this entire time, was whether to continue to rely on Artemis Montanari's sheer brilliance or bring on Xavi Arisilde or perhaps Iñaki Marton to make the team more secure defensively.

But no, the Echani team had to push forward on their best foot. The team was in a scoring groove, it made no sense to disrupt the beautiful passing formations that the players cut across the pitch as they sliced upfield, and if that came back to bite them in the ass, then so be it. They've scored 11 goals and given up 5, he'd be happy to continue that rate with a third victory. Live by the sword, die by the sword, but you have to be strong and stable in the attack.

del Nieran sighed forcefully to himself, settling the matter and put aside the knife he had been using to peel potatoes, one of Eshan's largest exports, and turned on the 4k television that graced his kitchen. The TV was turned to Echani News Daily, and was commenting on the current race for the Echani presidency. del Nieran had only payed limited attention to the race, he couldn't understand how all the Echani citizens were so politically aware and knowledgeable on policy, they had to be some sort of lizard people or something but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The talking heads on the show were discussing the recently released agenda of the National Socialist Echani People's Party, and del Nerian had to admit he was worried about what he was hearing. To him it sounded like clear racism, nationalism, fascism, all the worst isms you could apply seemed to be perfectly adept here. While the polls should them only having a fraction of support in the nation, Alexio del Nieran could see it exploding in popularity. The Echani, while a progressive people, were also a fiercely proud group; aware of their heritage as both the conquerors and the conquered, and there burned a deep desire in each of them to expand their Empire, and make it an Echani hegemony. That intrinsic desire to dominate and elevate their own priorities over the rest was certain to be a powerful political force, and the attention the media seemed to be giving them would only help fuel those fires.

There was a new candidate that had announced her intent to run, the last as far as the pundits could tell. The candidate was a woman named Priscilla Lang running on the MoralEshan! platform, promising to deliver rapid economic and cognitive-spiritual development and satisfaction. Despite only paying half-minded attention, del Nieran could tell that this party wouldn't be liked in Eshan. Looking to remove many civil rights and basic liberties, reversing fundamental values for whatever 'family values' were. Insanity. No Echani……well there were some crazy hardliners out there, but still, not majority Echani would ever vote for this platform.
prov
The screen had split again, this time looking at projected polls and talking about who would be the 50th President of the Echani Republic, with seven major candidates in play. In first was social democrat Senator Revan Fitzgerald Bernat with 32%, second was Conservative Octavian Salazaar with 26%, and then a bit of a drop off before Green Party Senator Narcisa van Laren Cruyff in third with 19%, fourth held socialist candidate Caelius Hugo Makélélé holds 10%, and barely behind in fifth was libertarian Phoenix Party nominee Alexandre Haviland with 9% , in sixth was the fascist National Socialist Echani People's Party candidate Sergius Domitian with 2.5%, and finally, MoralEshan!'s Priscilla Lang with 1.5%.

It was shaping up to be a good contest no doubt, and the wide range of views by the candidates was sure to provide plenty of satisfying political philosophy and policy debates. If he were a betting man, he'd put money on Revan Fitzgerald Bernat; RFB just had a nice ring to it.

He'd also bet on Eshan against The Holy Empire.

[Buyan]

It was a wry smile on the face of Pawlo Marciak as he installed himself on the bench at half-time. Initially it had felt exceptionally enjoyable to return to the Nine after all those years and if you squinted your eyes just enough, you could still recognize the glory of the marvelous arena through the carbonation, leaking pipes and loose cinder blocks. Having tens of thousands of Buyanese who had hungered for international football for over a decade support them gave a warm vibe to all of them and when Emil Eklund headed home a cross from Raestad in the second minute, it seemed as if the stadium could explode. Seats were suddenly abundant, although they had already been wrecked for most I advance, so that didn’t matter much. It was an atmosphere that had lasted exactly sixteen minutes.

By that time Fôrté Winrôuge had already made the nets tremble twice and given an assisting pass to Tjêtê that was so sharp it nearly cut the lines on the pitch. Afterwards, it seemed as if the Farves contented themselves with passing the ball around, doing a stubborn attempt to free up their second offensive midfielder whilst the majority of the Hedgehogs did all they could to stop that. Admittedly, they only succeeded so by throwing in sheer numbers and at times it was preposterous to see how the wide men of the Farves were left in no-man’s-land. Nonetheless the scoreboard remained fixed till the half-time whistle. Well, actually it had been stuck after the 1-2 and the local groundskeeper tried to salvage the damage by standing in front of the away tally in the shape of the large four, but the point stood.

”What on earth is this masquerade?” Teriouris whispered and his eyes blinkered as he took up each and every one of his men, ”We’re not just allowing them to march straight through our lines, we’re even embroidering those alleyways with flowers.”

The manager might not be a uniquely sharp mind but he did catch that quite a few defenders turned their heads in silence to the deepest corner. Over there, his captain and goalkeeper was dusting off his gloves in a focus, touting his lips as if he were whistling an nonexistent song.

”Marciak?”
Pawlo waited just long enough – seemingly struggling with a loose bit of string at one of his fingers before raising one eyebrow and saying annoyingly cheery, ”Coach?”
”I’m expecting more of you.”
”I’m doing all I can… Trust me.”

As they walked back out to the pitch, Marciak strategically walked past each of his defenders, reminding them of the importance of his scheme. All expected, only Stromberg seemed a bit less enthusiast about it but a small shove in the back from Paksas quickly closed the ranks.

The opener of the second half made some jaws drop to the ground. Before tea-time, the Farves had been creative and authoritarian as the Farves but now it seemed as if someone slipped some valium in the refreshments. Eleonora gave a horrible back pass to Trejo Maes who clumsily kicked a hole in the air, giving the quick legs of Jannick Brems the chance to rush into space. It wasn’t the best of chips but Calogero Metz appeared to have wandered into a puddle of glue and the crowd rejoiced. Seconds after kick-off, the opposition once again lost possession, giving Valter Isaksson a driveway all the way to the box. Even then, Süns Söh refused to close in the space so the Bengtsmark striker saw no opportunity but to try and fit it in the bottom corner.

Halving the backlog like that lit a spark that put the stadium on fire – only partially literarily as incorrect wiring caused a small problem in one of the stands after the game, but that’s a different story. As Täjó Ciânflöné brought the leather back in play, it seemed as if the Hedgehogs got unleashed. They smelled blood with a 3-4 on the board and a stunt on the horizon – could they return to the spotlights with a win that was as inexplicable as it was spectacular. Possession moved to the Farf defense which saw all Buyanese suddenly flock forward. Brems and Eklund chased the ball like young puppies, Raestad and Dobrovolskas ran all the way down their line and even the holding midfielders tried their luck at the opposing half. It wasn’t but when Paksas try to put some pressure on a midfielder that it trickled down to Pawlo Marciak. They had given in too easily, why would the Farves let them get back in… the game…

”No. Back. Back. Baaaack!”

By the time the shrieking sound of his voice reached the opposite side of the pitch, Monrazón had lifted the ball over the defensive trio of the Buyanese and bringing it into the large empty space between their backs and a hapless Marciak, torn between the choice to run out or to keep tight. Well, empty is the wrong word as Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic steamed up out of seemingly nowhere flashing a huge grin. Against all odds, Pawlo rushed forwards towards his Crisisbless teammate well aware of his chances on this one. By the time he got there, a marvelous lobbed ball from the midfielder danced awfully slow into the box and across the line.

”It’s all possible, I believe with the scoreline on 3-4. A pass to the center and it’s Monrazón, the Avenida Leal midfielder who receives it, he’s looking for… Oh! What a pass is that and it is wide open for Ror Jedjez… Hedjev… Jevdja… Ror! The defense is sliced, Marciak is lost and there it is… What a chip from forty yards out, it’s the 3-5. What is he doing now? He runs up to the corner flag and sits down… It’s as if he is inviting all his teammates over as they sit down and … Is he sharing imaginary food? I’m not sure what’s going on but it seems to be a party… And now it is even evolving into a party with the red and green players dancing around – as are their fans. I don’t exactly get it, but the goalscorer seems to enjoy it as our keeper is against the grass, hiding his face in those big gloves that couldn’t help him outfield.”

“Hattrick! Hattrick! Hattrick!”

The Crisisbless dressing room was shivering under the noise as Pawlo was running the gauntlet. At the end of it all stood Ror with the biggest of grins, waiting until Marciak had put down his bag.

”So, old man… When’s lunch scheduled,” he laughed.
Pawlo paused a bit but had to give in, ”I guess we’ll all have a good steak next Monday…”
”And? someone in the back roared.
”… and we’ll hit the town afterwards.” Pawlo sighed.

It were animalistic sounds as the lads recreated the enigmatic – to the outside world – celebration of the fifth Farve goal.

”Wait a second,” Ror added, ”aren’t we’re repeating that two more times? After all, I did net the 3-6 and the 3-7 as well.”
”Don’t get too cheeky,” Pawlo responded and only the fact that he had rehearsed this conversation during the road to the training ground kept him from going a bit white around the nose, ”after the opener, we just let you off the hook.”

It didn’t sound too convincing, knowing damn well that especially the last one had been a backheel beauty.

”I even think,” Pawlo added, ”you wouldn’t be able to do it again.”
”Talking about cheeky,” Ror grinned, ”for a guy who turned around seven times in a single evening.”
”So you’ld say you would be afraid to bet me for the second leg. You know, the one in Ferdullaele?”

The dressing room went silent, apart for the guy in the background who couldn’t resist the urge to whisper daaaaaaang, that’s ice cold.

”Who says so…” Ror spoke, slightly hesitantly.
”Well,” Pawlo answered with a smile, ”A night of the hook is nice but if you score in the second leg, I’m taking out the whole team for a full week of travel. Five-star resort in one of those gambling alleys with everything you can imagine – costs on me.”

Most of the players would’ve wanted to cheer jubilantly but not after a bit of calculation in the back of their mind. Paying up the rounds for a night was expensive but according to the salary terms they were used, it didn’t make a dent in their budget. But a week all-in for a group of twenty-five for whom the sky is the limit? The same one had to chip in a daaaaaaaaaaang.

”Sounds good…” Ror said flatly – he knew Pawlo well enough that there had to be a catch, ”but if I don’t?”
”I get your Launcher.”

Now it was tribal noises galore. Jevdjevic-Hadsic wasn’t the most materialistic of guys but the special connection between him and his Launcher bordered the mystical. He himself had said that that he and the car had started off as if it were a girlfriend but that it became a fairytale - he had fallen in love with it on a drunk night, put down the money at once and now it was the apple of his eye. Only a handful of them were made but most importantly, none had the paint job that was specifically designed for him. He never had something for cars before but when he heard the roar from the engine of the Launcher as he drove through downtown Crisisbless… From a purely financial point of view, it still paled in insignificance compared to a week out on someone else’s wallet for the whole selection but…

”Or maybe I should call the restaurant,” Marciak said as he grabbed his gloves from the bottom of his bag, ”and ask if they serve chicken.”

[Darmen]

OOC: 5,500th post! I really need to get a life outside of this game.

al Din Lambert begins campaign with two impressive results

After being put under pressure by his bosses to deliver results, Nur al Din Lambert and his All Greens have begun their campaign to qualify for the 78th World Cup with a dominating victory and surprising draw against top ranked Nephara.

In the opening match against Yuezhou, Darmen's international experience was on show for all but the first ten minutes of match. Over those ten minutes, Yuezhou was able to penetrate deep into Darmeni territory, proceeding to take six shots over that period. Goalkeeper Marcellus Ahenobarbus was required to take action against two of those shots, doing so with relative ease. Regardless, Ahenobarbus was clearly disappointed at his defensive shield, and became increasingly vocal in his frustration.

In the eleventh minute Chen Huikang suffered a nasty tackle from Defender Ritchie Porsche. It was a tackle which, under normal circumstances, would have certainly drawn a yellow card from the referee, instead drew only a stern telling off from Turorian Ontreeala Altariiz. While the Yuezhouese forward was being attended to by medical staff (he would remain in the game), al Din Lambert took the break in action to deliver a fiery message to his team, primarily the three in the back line and Defensive Midfielder Alberich Goldschmidt. The message relayed to the team seemed to have a very good effect on the team, as Felix Lucanus opened the scoring in the 17th minute with a strong and low strike past the outstretched hand of Wei Haidong.

Lucanus strike partner, Daniel Norton, followed up with two goals of his own, a header in the 26th minute and a wonder strike from the top of the box in the 38th. The score remained at 3-0 well past the half time break. In the 72nd minute, Midfielder Zachariah Butler scored his first goal at senior level in only his sixth cap, this was followed soon after in the 79th minute by a Goldschmidt goal from a free kick 26 yards out directly in front of goal. The rest of the match went on without any sort of excitement, except perhaps when al Din Lambert made all three of his substitutions in the 84th minute. Norton gave way for Colin Russell, while Codie Armbruster and Alan McNeil each made their international debuts, coming on for Mordecai Ó Cuilinn and Butler respectively.

The 5-0 victory gave Darmen a boost in confidence ahead of their road trip to fellow Rushmori nation Nephara. The 9th ranked nation in the multiverse, the Cormorants were heavy favorites heading into the match, but the All Greens certainly didn't look too concerned when they took to the field for warm ups. While some television pundits may have mistaken the team's relaxed mood for disinterest in the final result, those who follow Darmeni football closely will now that a relaxed All Greens prematch means a fully confident team come kickoff.

And indeed, the Darmeni team was confident as the whistle was blow to start the match, immediately scouting a way through the Nepharan's simple 4-4-2 formation. Marcellinus Winton, who had surprisingly started in place of Grayson Benbow in midfield, took a nasty knuckle ball sort of shot towards Jason Petratos in the 3rd minute, but came away empty as Fletcher was able to get just enough of a finger tip on the ball to send in wide of the goal frame. Darmen would finally score the first goal of the match after a half hour of heavy tackling and fouls, as Felix Lucanus scored in the 44th minute after having just received a yellow card for getting into an uncharacteristic shoving match with Sigrun Rathskeller.

Not wanting any of his players to receive a second yellow and get sent off, al Din Lambert made two changes at half time, replacing his top striker Lucanus with the young Brian Firmin, while Ritchie Porsche also made way for Klopas Maddox. After Nephara drew equal in the early stages of the second half, Vedran Tarashaj providing the goal, Darmen's third and final change was made, as Benbow came on for Winton. Winton, apparently put into the starting lineup to provide further pace to the center of the midfield, had had a hard time with his first touch, turning the ball over on no less then 14 occasions. Eventually, his teammates stopped passing to him, and al Din Lambert pulled the plug on the experiment, putting the more experienced Benbow into the action.

Benbow however didn't last long, as he had to be carted off the field only a half hour later following a disgusting tackle from Tarashaj. Tarashaj received a red, and both teams played the remaining two minutes of stoppage time with only ten men. Benbow will likely miss Darmen's next match against St. Saratoga, giving Winton another chance to prove his worth to the Darmeni team and his coach.

With the win and draw over the first two matches, the All Greens currently occupy second place in the Group 12 standings, behind Starblaydia. Nephara and Sargossa however are equal with Darmen on four points, a +5 goal difference currently favoring Darmen in the tiebreakers.

[Kalumba]

The Great Attractions of Kalumba

Published by the Tourist Bureau of Kalumba

Number Four
Kanimambo Brewery


Probably the last thing a tourist will think about when visiting Kalumba is visiting a brewery. Even back in their homeland few ever travel to the places where our favourite beverages are produced, so why should you do that in a country which has spectacular views and unparalleled wildlife to see?

Well simply because the Kanimambo Brewery is like nothing you will have ever seen before, in a single complex you will see combined the ancient Afrosian Umboqthwane pits where the local millet beer has been brewed for thousands of years alongside a Victorian era brewery producing the bitters, ales and milds so familiar to a certain era of drinkers. And alongside the red brick factory is a modern edifice which produces the continents favourite lager, Lion or "Shumba".

Not only will you be able to explore some spectacular buildings and learn every details, except the secret recipes, of Afrosia's most popular drinks you will do this all in the setting of beautiful vineyards where the grapes which produce the famed "Vin Terrico", "Soixante Neuf" and "Beaute Blanc" are grown then processed on site in the classic manner using foot presses. Adventurous visitors can even take part in the foot pressing of grapes themselves if they so wish.

And all of this is just on the outskirts of Kahali and accessed by buses, taxis and specially arranged coaches for tourist parties. For anyone interested in the drinking culture of Afrosia, or indeed just in fine alcohol itself then the Kanimambo Brewery is a must see on your trip to Kalumba. Guided tours are available of the facilites and can be booked on the day or in advance, all of these include tastings of the product but it is suggested you visit one day for the wine and another for the beers otherwise the next day of your holiday may be spent in bed enjoying the cool spring waters from the exotic hotel bar.

Don't Delay, Visit Kalumba Today!

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - The Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies lives up to its name; you're free to believe it IC'ly, but please don't believe a word of these RPs OOC'ly. They're a compendium of lies.

THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES
World Cup 78 Qualification

Matchdays 2 & 3 - Lies from the Lions of Sand and Sea / Colonial Australian Kiwis

The Holy Empire Football Association last night denounced the outrageous lies written by Sultanate of Oontaz scribe Abdulmecid Macasaysayan, who wrote a fantastic fabrication regarding the Holy Empire's 6-1 victory over Oontaz Dert Li Ng. The clearly mentally ill Macasaysayan, who apparently enjoys a career writing pornographic science fiction novels in his spare time, cast doubt on the verifiable fact that Imperial goalkeeper Manuel Lascaro is c.110 metres tall, and described a stunning goal from Sphrantzes - just one of the six scored by the best Holy Empire team in the history of the World Cup - as 'lucky'. 'There was nothing lucky about it' said a passing anonymous stranger who refused to give his name (though it rhymes with 'panties'); 'I just happened to be in the right place at the right time'.

HEFA have written a firmly worded letter to Mr Macasaysayan's employers at the Crescent News Network, demanding that they retract the story and instead relate the actual facts about the match instead of a tissue of slanderous lies; namely:

1) The actual 6-1 scoreline

2) The giant purple sunflower that mysteriously grew in the centre circle at half time

3) The post-match decision by Oontaz manager Ador Macaspac to officially change his name to Ador the Fantastic.

4) The true height of Manuel Lascaro

5) The spontaneous mass decision of the crowd to moon the referee in the 68th minute

Elsewhere, the Holy Empire also defeated Colonial Australia by a score of 56-Q, taking the four-time world champions to second in their qualifying group. This match was chiefly notable for the identity of the opponents. Colonial Australia are a nation of small birds called 'kiwis'; in their match against the Holy Empire, a team of all-black clad kiwis played a form of polo (leading to a protest from HEFA to the WCC about the outlandish and ridiculous nature of Mundy teams), riding on the backs of yellow and green wallabies while shouting 'you're my bitch, you're my bitch, you're my bitch' into the floppy ears of the oppressed, downtrodden marsupials.

[Apox]

Carried on from here... (And yes this isn't just nonsense, all will be revealed by the end of qualifying)

He hurried after this weird rock that had (remarkably) sprouted legs all the time wondering if after long hard years, if he'd finally gone insane. The sky and sand in this desert world were still definitely purple and here he was following a talking, walking rock. Christ.

It was hurrying along at quite a pace, so much so that he had to trot a little to keep up with it. Where was it going? More importantly, where was he? Suddenly it disappeared down the other side of a dune, and by the time he'd got to the top, it was gone from sight.

"Well, fuck" he said out loud, before he felt a rumbling below(?) him and to his right. Spinning around, the ground was falling away to his right, and the rumbling was increasing. The ground falling away was extending now, no, it was a separate thing. Or was it? No it definitely was.

In fact, there were fiv... six instances where this was happening. He began to back away, but realised that this things, were actually rising. Yes they were and it quickly became apparent that these were six considerably larger walking talking rocks and they weren't as harmless looking as the previous little one he'd encountered.

In fact, these were the size of small boulders, with legs that probably rose them two, three metres off the ground? Hard to provide an accurate assessment when these rocks were looking a little threatening. They were "talking" to each other as well, a deep bass rumble that he could feel in his chest, like the bass at a festival.

And they were all advancing towards him. In fact, that one in front of him was opening it's "mouth". He turned around but the one behind him was doing the same maneuver. He spun round to avoid it and saw a flash of golden fuzz in the air as he did so. It was definitely getting fuzzy in that direction. Well, probably couldn't be worse than where he was right now, and this time he ran towards it, hoping for an escape from whatever this was rather than to escape from the golden blur.

As the rock things moved in close, the world went a flat gold and once again he was left wondering what the hell was going on.

To be continued...

Garifunya 2-1 Apox
GAR: Maatman -- van Hartskamp, Alfring, Kreijenveld, Vosjan -- Schoeneveld, van Ness (Krumers 67'), Spijkkers -- Klenkman (Disselhorst 79'), Wijkstra, Takman
APX: Anaximander -- Richardson, Raynerson, Jekyll, Fowey -- Mormentor (Arrowsmith 45') -- Ingersleben, Palmisano J. (c), Benzari (Ezekitias 74') -- Gandhi A. (Montanari 90'), Palmisano L.

The Apox National Team headed to the modest Staad Fyet nan Garifunya for their third game of qualifiers against 71st ranked Garifunya, who set up in an attacking 4-3-3 formation. Wizzard Mormentor had a tough time anchoring the defense in the early stages, struggling to contain Ali Wijkstra and Joachem van Ness behind him. It was in fact Mormentor losing Wijkstra from a corner which led to the first goal with Wijkstra able to head it towards van Ness, lurking on the edge of the box, who volleyed the ball cleanly into the top right corner. The second goal, in the closing stages of the first half was an excellently worked move, Spijkkers one-twoing with the veteran Florentijn Takman to pass Helios Richardson easily, before laying it out for Ali Wijkstra in the middle, who neatly sidestepped the onrushing Halyos Anaximander. Open goal, two-nil. The second half saw Gavin Hughes decide to fight fire with fire, and the largely ineffectual Wizzard Mormentor was brought off for Winston Arrowsmith, who had been lighting up the ANL with FC Endeavour, the formation now becoming a 4-3-3. It quickly had an effect, the Garifunyan backline now having a lot more to deal with, and it was Winston Arrowsmith who set up the Apoxian goal, drawing Marcel Alfring out of position and, thanks to Lucan Palmisano timing his run perfectly, Arjan Maatman not standing a chance again a player of Palmisano's finishing. Apox nearly drew level in the closing stages through Palmisano the elder's free kick which Maatman just managed to get a hand to, and it was Garifunya who left the happiest side. For Apox, still work to do.

[Jeckland]

DISGRUNTLED JECKLANER - THE RETURN

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Sometimes life gets you by the balls and doesn't let you go. But enough of the deep shit. I'm back. Who fucking cares. And as usual, I'm pissed off.

Why, why, why do we have fucking rest days in the qualifiers? Which fucking overpaid corrupt bigwig at the WCC thought it'd be a good idea to have teams sit out a round because of some "progressive" idea to let every Tom Dick and Harry who wants a go into WCQ? Odd numbered groups are stupid, because they create shitty days like this. And all because teams like the Leopian muppets we played last round want to come and lose 17 out of 18, only scraping a draw against some other godforsaken nowhere that refuses to tell us who their players are and play in some sort of park with a wobbly stand. Hoo-fucking-rah.

You're probably thinking, what's so bad about a rest day? The reason is, unless you have a team to support, qualifiers are shit. Deciding what match to watch is like choosing what pants you wear in the morning; at first you see the number of options and think you'll find something good until you realise they're all just the same and no one cares anyway. No-one's even gonna look at your pants, you fucking loser!

I don't want to watch Chromatika too see what they'll be like tomorrow, cos I know it'll be better than us. The JFA haven't even pulled their fingers out of their hairy arses to arrange a friendly against anyone halfway decent, or anyone at all for that matter. "But you could just watch something other than football". I'd sooner dip my testicles in sulphuric acid than watch any of those garbage reality shows where steroid injected muscly fuckfaces interact with women filled with to lube up every bike chain in Jeckland. Fuck that.

I'll be back soon. Stay angry, Jeckland.

[Mercedini]

World Cup Qualification MD3 LIVE
Mercedini vs. Starblaydia
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Hello and welcome back to the Zoloroni Sports City Stadium, we are two matches into World Cup Qualification and today is the turn of the third match. It's a biggie as Mercedini welcome former World Cup champions Starblaydia, in a real six-pointer for both teams regarding those two crucial qualification spots. Both teams are unbeaten thus far with Starblaydia winning all both of their matches while Mercedini haven't lost but they haven't won either, drawing their only two matches thus far. The group has opened up significantly with only Starblaydia holding the group's one and only 100% record, with many other unbeaten yet still dropping points due to draws. The stadium is filling up with the Starblaydians completely filling up their allocation while it seems the previous set of draws has drawn many of the Mercedinian fans away from the stadium, meaning there are some pockets of empty seats, especially in the upper stands. The players will have to work hard to win those fans back with a decent performance today. The players are out and were are moments away from the start for the crucial qualification match.

---

0' - The teams exchange their gifts, as is procedure. With Mercedini playing in their blue and black kits while Starblaydia play in their white kits to avoid a potential kit clash with the hosts. Starblaydia will kick off this half with Kabeya standing over the ball. She passes to her teammate and we are underway for what has been built up as a classic between the old and the new. The fans seem underway and that is reflecting on the players, some fast action already

8' - (MRC 0-0 STA) - It looks like it's going to be a high quality match between these two and teams and Mercedini are more than holding their own against the current group leaders. Mercedini would be expected to win considering they are the better team on paper, however with their string of disappointing results from previous matches, anything is possible from here on out. Billic has been moving forward and carving out some opportunities but he isn't getting support from the rest of team when going forward. Mercedini on top at the moment, which is something we haven't been saying a lot in recent matches. That's not to say Starblaydia aren't having opportunities, but Mercedini are penning them back in their own half at the moment. Eight minutes gone, still goalless.

15' - (MRC 0-0 STA) - Quarter of an hour gone and its possibly the best start to a match so far in this qualification. They have matched Starblaydia toe-to-toe in this match and it looks promising for the neutrals. Plenty of chances for both teams to conjure up some magic in this match. Both sets of strikers are proving their worth in this match and it may be a matter of time before the first goal. It remains goalless, but with the prowess on the pitch, it may just be a matter of time before the deadlock is broken.

22' - (MRC 1-0 STA) - GOAL!! Mercedini have taken the lead in a game for the first time in this campaign through Ross Presic, it wasn't the cleanest of goals but they all count. It was a semi-breakaway goal which was started by a long Crasic ball up field to Chillotov who was bounding forward with the ball. The move continued when Chillotov fed through Billic who dribbled into the box with hardly any support from his teammates. He was forced to shoot which was well parried by the keeper, however the ball fed into the path of Presic who's scuffed shot made it into the net. The goalkeeper couldn't make what could've been a spectacular double save but in the end, Mercedini take the lead to the delight on the crowd. 1-0 Mercedini, how happy am I to say that.

30' - (MRC 1-0 STA) - The crowd is still buzzing from that opening goal from the hosts, but that hasn't deterred Starblaydia from going after a goal of their own. Kabeya and Bentley will obviously be the two danger players upfront for Starblaydia, they will be looking to equalise the game as soon as possible and build on their momentum. They have been building up a head of steam in this match. They have about 15 minutes left in this half to find a goal. Let's see whether Mercedini have learnt from their defensive mistakes in previous matches to hold this slender lead going into half time.

36' - (MRC 1-0 STA) - Play beginning to slow down as Mercedini begin to strangle the life out of this game. High pressure followed by long periods of passing possession is the plat du jour for the golden eagles, not giving Starblaydia any time on the ball. Starblaydia had a golden chance some time ago as a scything through ball from midfield was fed to Kabeya, but she flashed the shot over the bar from a narrow angle. Both teams having chances in this first half, but it is Mercedini who are looking likely to keep their one goal lead intact.

41' - (MRC 1-1 STA) - Goal for Starblaydia and talk about being against the run of play. It's Joshua Bentley with the goal from a rather devastating counter attack from the Starblaydian attack. Ifil and Benson combined on their right hand side to get a clear opening for a low cross which was finished off Bentley who guided the ball into the bottom corner. They have tied the game up with a couple of minutes left, and it's back to square one for Mercedini. One-all

44' - (MRC 1-1 STA) - Not too long left in the half and Mercedini have close once again, this time is was Chillotov who dribbled through two defenders before scuffing the shot wide and into the side netting. He had players available but saw his name in lights as he eyed up his spot, but unfortunately he couldn't convert the chance that would've have seen Mercedini take the lead with minutes left in the first half. It remains tied at one a-piece, although it could have been so much more.

45+2' - (MRC 1-1 STA) - The referee blows his whistle for the end of the first half and applause rings round the Sports City Stadium, the applause from the home fans is louder than previous matches but there are still murmurs of discontent within the crowd. Mercedini go in level yet again and if the result stays as it is, it will be third draw in a row. A somewhat rare thing occurred when Ross Presic opened the scoring at the second time of asking after a Billic shot was parried into the path of the arriving Mercedinian winger. Starbalydia weren't out of it just yet and they rallied to find an equaliser with just minutes left on the clock, Bentley firing home from close range capping off a well worked counter attack. It is all to play for although Starblaydia would remain top if results were to stay as it were. At halftime on MD3, it's Mercedini 1, Starblaydia 1.

HALF TIME
Mercedini 1 - 1 Starblaydia
Presic 22' • Bentley 41'

Welcome back to today's action here in Zoloroni where Mercedini and Starblaydia are playing out a tight match in the Sports City Stadium. The sun is shining but it's not too warm in Mercedini's capital, and plenty of families are enjoying their afternoon watching a bit of football. The teams are coming out of the tunnel and it looks as if there will be a couple of substitutions made by each team, whether or not they make a difference remains t be seen although it goes without saying that any sub will carry great risks along with rewards when done wrong and right respectively. Safe to say, Bjarnasson is under pressure at the moment from the fans and the MFA, he needs to churn out some sort of result soon or Mercedini are at risk of failing to qualify when they really should be in the position to do so. Forty-five minutes to make a statement, and the clock is ticking down. Billic OFF, Kramini ON

50' - (MRC 1-1 STA) - Five minutes into this match Ezekiel Kramini is making quite the mark on the pitch. The Mercedinian who currently plays for Langtree United impressed the scouts in last season's MPL, guiding his team to a UICA Globe Cup spot and now he is representing his nation for the first time. It is a big weight in his shoulders for a debut match but his confidence is shining through in this match. Whether he can turn it into something concrete remains to be seen although not much action thus far for either team. Still 1-1.

60' - (MRC 2-1 STA) - GOAL and Mercedini have retaken the lead thanks to the ever so reliable Ben Chillotov. It came from the previous goal scorer Presic who broke free of his marker and sent in a floating cross to Chillotov who looped a header over the goalkeeper who came out of his net but couldn't get there in time to claim it. The error was punished as the ball bounced slowly into the net for Mercedini's second goal. Attempts were made by the Starblaydian defenders to clear the ball but they were in vain as goal-line technology confirmed that the ball crossed well over the line which brought on the celebrations from the players and the fans.

68' - (MRC 2-1 STA) - A back and forth tussle between the second and third best teams on paper takes another twist as Starblaydia take the reigns in the match. It's the first dangerous piece of possession they have had since the second half began and they look more and more dangerous as the second tick by. Crosses and shot are coming in left, right and centre but Mercedini are holding strong so far. Just a touch over twenty minutes remaining in this match for Mercedini to claim their first win against one of their group rivals.

75' - (MRC 2-1 STA) - Hearts in the mouths of the Mercedinians in the stadium as Starblaydia go close again. Bentley with a low shot that was saved by Hosset, he had to get down quickly and only just about got there and guided it round the post for a corner (which came to nothing). They are starting to show their worth in what has been a frantic and high quality match from both sides. Fifteen minutes away from a crucial win and with teams around Mercedini dropping points, it might be a good time for Mercedini to park every bus in the city. 2-1.

82' - (MRC 2-1 STA) - It's squeaky bum time in Zoloroni, Starblaydia have hit the post with a shot from Kabeya. She received the ball on the edge of the box and had to turn and shoot quickly to get the ball away before the defence could close down the chance. Nervy moments as the seconds tick by, it might be the longest eight minutes experienced by a Mercedinian team but it's what stands in their way between them and the final whistle.

86' - (MRC 2-2 STA) - GOAL for Starblaydia and you have got to say it's been coming. It came from yet another set piece, specifically a corner. It was whipped in with pace from Benson and was met with a strong header from Avathar, that was save by the glove of Hosset on the line but he couldn't hold on and was poked in by Zapotowski to give Starblaydia what could be a crucial second goal. The Starblaydians are making all of the noise in the stadium as they have clinched a point at the death. He embraces his teammates in the corner, how important that goal could be at the end of all this. It's 2-2 with minutes left in the match.

90' - (MRC 2-2 STA) - That's it, no more added time in this match as the referee blows his whistle for the end of a super match for the neutrals and for both sets of fans to be honest. The best of each nation was on show when it came to defence and attack and in the end, both nations cancelled each other out. A Zapotowski toe-poke cancelled out a Chillotov header in the second half to ensure Mercedini stay unbeaten, but it's a third draw out of three for Mercedini whose qualification hopes have taken a severe and perhaps fatal dent in only the first three matches in it's campaign. The teams come out level, but yet again its the visitors who will be more satisfied with the results. In Zoloroni, it's finished Mercedini 2, Starblaydia 2.

FULL TIME
Mercedini 2 - 2 Starblaydia
Presic 22', Chillotov 60' • Bentley 41', Zapotowski 86'

With that, Mercedini drop more points against lower ranked opposition which means they are severely underperforming at this World Cup. Next up for Mercedini is a trip to unranked Yuezhou, where a loss or another draw would be considered a national embarrassment. Plenty of pundits are saying many different things but one thing is for sure, pressure is firmly placed upon the shoulders of the manager and the players. We hope you could join us tomorrow for a match which wasn't seen as important but it=s not seen as a critical point in the campaign, they must win or else risk being cut adrift from the top two spots in the group. From Zoloroni, goodnight

[Brigantii]

Two Games, 1 Goal, 1 Point
Rinar Vonast doesn't fill fans with confidence after poor start

The Ang Grung man wasn't the name at the top of the fans' top picks for who should take over as the Brigantii national team boss and after two disappointing fixtures against much lower ranked opposition isn't filling the fans with any confidence.

The Stags travelled to Karelo-Finland in the opening game of qualifying and were beaten by the team 222 places below them in the world rankings. Little is known about the opposition other than the fact they managed to score twice and Brigantii, just the one. Whether this lack of information is due to the home side being a secretive communist nation or whether there was an issue with the visas FOR ALL the sports journalists heading over there is unclear,either way, we don't know anything about them. We do know however, Brigantii's only goal was scored by Zack Wilbraham.

The other result, after a break, was a bleak 0-0 draw with Aggrey-Fynn Land. The visitors may have achieved a second place finish in the most recent Baptism of Fire, but given the gulf in rankings should have been easily beaten by the Stags. This, however was not the case and the new manager's tactics proved to be thwarted by Jerry Simmons defensive approach. After the match the home fans were left bitterly disappointed by the result, recalling the last qualifying campaign when they missed out on the world cup, conceding a late equalizer against Ancharmunn and how far they felt they had fallen since.

---

The Ancient Creatures of Wyrmgore
And Where They Can Be Located

Episode 2

This episode of “Ancient Creatures” takes us to the dense jungle of Jahat Debu and the home of the Ballavishal. The ballavishal is a flying cryptid that supposedly most resembles a giant bat, it is described as having gray fur, covering it's body, large claws at the end of it's forearms and a wingspan of approximately ten feet.

First described by Dr. Cornell Rowland in 1913 as he explored the Jahat Debu jungle, his initial sighting of a “hunched, gray beast eating fruit from powerful claws” was followed up with “the same beast, now in flight, with a wingspan greater than that of any man”. The Brigantii explorer spent several long months in the jungle trying to capture a picture of the creature, to no avail. To date no photographic evidence of the animal exists, however the explorer did render a hand drawn sketch of the animal that was essentially a giant bat, with dark eyes and large, sabre like teeth protruding from it's lower jaw.

Since the Brigantii explorer's initial sighting of the creature very few others have claimed to have seen anything of the kind, with only 10 recorded sightings in the last 105 years. The most recent of which however was that of Jasvinder Narang, a tea farmer from Punnaka. The farmer claimed to have “been heading home after a day of working, when suddenly a noise came from the tree line, like a high pitched shriek, then after the shriek, a rush of air as an animal with enormous wings flew past me. It looked like a shaggy bat. I was scared so started to run, but it flew behind me, screaming.”

Jasvinder's description is in line with the majority of those that have seen the Ballavishal, however other reports have suggested the creature may be more akin to a pterosaur or even a primate. With no physical or photographic evidence documenting the Ballavishal though, it's existence and exact appearance are open for debate.

[Tinhampton]

The Other Campaign Trail:
a springtime tale of university politics -- PART 2
yeah, i have totally not recycled this RP series from CoH69 due to time restrictions Bear with me, Cosumar

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PART 2: The Vote, and Its Aftermath

13th to 17th March 2017 -- Across Tinhampton University
A deathly silence had fallen across the University's public squares. There was to be no more campaigning. There might be unofficial tears, of laughter or of joy; but the onus now was on studying for any upcoming exams. The elections were taboo for students, and illegal to discuss for the media. Five whole days of deathly silence. The results would only come on the Sunday. This election was about uncertainty more than any other in the modern democracy of TinU, but there were still some certain elements.

19th March 2017 -- Student halls, Newlands campus
The University woke up on the Sunday to discover that Birnam Wood had made its way over to Dunsinane; that David had slayed Goliath; and that the World Cup final was to be held between Audioslavia and Starblaydia.* It was to be a shock, a shock to many students, and the start of a counter-revolution. The Freedom Caucus had nabbed a majority of seats in the Committee. The left had lost strongly, mostly a byproduct of TSU and "The Truth About Trincham". More feedback was to come.
I know that y'all like stats, so here are the seat counts: the Socialists (17 seats, -3), the Progressives (5 seats, -6), the Environmentalists (8 seats, +0), the Democrats (19 seats, +3), the Alliance for Security (12 seats, +3), the Conservatives (22 seats, -2), and the Freedom Caucus (25 seats, +4), Independents (12 seats, +1).
*OOC: References to Macbeth, the Bible, and World Cup 63 respectively.

Part 2 for Monday will continue as a broadcast from TUFM's Election Centre. This is both IC and OOC.
19th March 2017 -- 0905 - "Morning Politics"

• FRED WEST: Welcome, my fellow students and staff, to the Morning Politics. It was a hard fought-out campaign, whether at the ballot box, the public squares, or the car park entrances. The students have voted, and with the final votes having been counted, we can tell you that this was a very big victory for somebody...
• ELECTION ANNOUNCER: Preliminary results of the Tinhampton University Committee of Students election, March 2017. Independent candidates gained 12 seats. In seventh place among the caucuses was the Progressive caucus, with 5 seats. In sixth place was the Environmentalist caucus, with 8 seats. In fifth place was the Alliance for Security, with 12 seats. In fourth place was the Socialist caucus, with 17 seats. In third place was the Democratic caucus, with 19 seats. In second place... was the Conservative caucus, with 22 seats. And so, in first place, was the Freedom Caucus with 25 seats.
• FRED WEST: 66 seats for the coalition, 78 plus the Alliance for Security, the annihilation of the Progressives, the odd maverick or two for the Socialists, a populist plurality, and you have a very high probability that the Student Charter will be amended. Although the results are yet to be ratified by the Returning Officer, there is unlikely to be any challenges to the results. What do you think, Alan?
• ALAN BRACKNELL: Well, if you ask me, I think that a couple of self-capitulations may have resulted for the left's abmysal result. Firstly, the Tinhampton Student Unity - the protestors weren't aiming for impossible goals, but they did so in a ton of ways, very few of them found to be A-OK to the average student.
• FW: There are various looming shadows over the election. Will the TSU continue their ways?
• AB: Absolutely. With a government and Premier antithetical to them being elected, they will go out of their way to do what they can. The conservative counter-resistance will be located on more familiar turf, on your social media websites. The TSU are not going to stop until their seven demands are met, and I don't know how long that will take.
• FW: Outside of protests, what will be the main onus of the coalition government?
• AB: Well, if I had to say, it would be challenging the establishment, followed by more student power - not an awful lot, but enough for more liberty. Alison Trincham is supposed to be the main straw-woman here, but she hasn't acted bitterly towards the Freedom Caucus...

19th March 2017 -- 1205 -- "Interviews With The Leaders"

• BARRY HOLDER: Good afternoon. This is Barry Holder, and I am with you today to present a special series of interviews about the leaders of our political caucuses in the wake of the recent vote. What do they think about the election? What should change before they leave office? Will we squeeze out any secrets? All shall be revealed over the next 30 minutes or so. We shall be going in descending seat count order, which means that my first interview subject is incumbent Premier and Freedom Caucus leader, Liam Wright. Good afternoon to you.
• LIAM WRIGHT: And to you, too. This is supposed to be an interview program, so what's going on?
• BH: Quite a lot, actually. For starters, you're now going to lead the students of the University for the next year. What are your plans?
• LW: The main onus is libertarianism. The charter's coming up for renewal in October, November, something like that, so I'd like to push and see if we can delegate more powers from ourselves to the students. I'm suggesting particularly a loosening of club regulations to exempt societies - they may need our money, and they clearly need the freshers' fair, but they don't need an ambitious structure of bureaucracy just to get funded. Campus trials, safe spaces, we should get rid of those, too. I know Josh agrees with me, I think Alison might too - she definitely agrees with me about the campus trials, so we're hoping to repeal that law.
• BH: March 3rd was the University's regular Mental Health of Students day. If I recall correctly, you were the man that agreed to send a donation to Not Just The Mind, a meta-charity concerning mental health, for every completion of the controversial Cross-University Student Questionnaire...
• LW: Yes, that was indeed correct. To clarify: This was happening because we need collaboration with our traditional allies, whilst also supporting causes we believed in honestly. This survey is very popular, I don't know why anybody would oppose it, especially if their data isn't being sold off like they say. Your data is completely secure.
• BH: Speaking of security, what about email monitoring? Will this still happen?
• LW: Funny you should say that. The monitoring is necessary for student wellbeing. We will not attempt to prosecute any student without a good cause. Yes, this means nothing based on any protected characteristic. I think the voters were literally split 50/50 on the issue, but we won out in the end. Goodbye.
  .
• BH: I was going to say that! But regardless, our next interview candidate is former Premier and current Conservative leader, Josh Wilkinson. I'll talk to him about the failure of the Conservatives to win a plurality, what the coalition means, and what to do about Tinhampton Student Unity. Hello.
• JOSH WILKINSON: Hey there. I'm wondering what's up for discussion today.
• BH: A lot, to be honest. You have lost your position as Premier of the University to Liam Wright, who I have just interviewed. What do you think, and how do you plan to resist him - if you will - in the coalition?
• JW: To be fair, I'm on the same course as Liam. We're good friends, we have our differences, but we won't fight each other. He didn't fight me this year, so I'm returning the favour now. As for the election, it was quite disappointing, although we'll work together to pass the bills the University needs the most. Admittedly, the win was well-deserved, and I understand the students' anger at the current governing body.
• BH: I know you think it was well-deserved, but why do you think you failed to win out?
• JW: People saw us as the corrupt establishment, people to be feared and disrespected. As for Alison, many were thinking that she was one of them, but the Democratic rise shows differently. Could be the byproduct of that controversial leaflet.
• BH: A leaflet we'll talk about with her, which is going to be in a short while. Liam Wright has stated that email monitoring is "necessary for student wellbeing", but some people - your Minister of Sports, your Minister for Minority Students, even your External Affairs Minister - have condemned these plans. Will these measures be permanent?
• JW: No. These people you speak of, they're people like Peter Young, Abdullah Ali, Alison Trincham - yes, actually, they *are* those people. Peter has been here long enough to remember when our entire football team was brought in for the trial, they called it Ladgate, whilst Abdullah is Muslim and Alison is one of the more vocal proponents of civil liberties in the university. I'm not surprised at this, but neither are our students. We should hopefully get it strengthened this year, now we have more supporters.
• BH: The email monitoring has been condemned not just by those most at risk of it, but also by members of the controversial Tinhampton Student Unity. To round off, what do you think should be done about them?
• JW: No-platforming is probably an option. Perhaps an extended police presence at Gateway, although that may not be enough. Chuck them out, if we must. In fact, anything but tolerate them.
  .
• BH: Thanks muchly. Our third interview candidate is Alison Trincham, Democratic leader and civil rights activist. She is one of the University's more divisive figures - some believe she's doing a good job, whilst others think that she's doing the wrong thing. We'll be talking to her about security, the TSU, her status in the coalition, and "The Truth About Trincham". Good afternoon.
• ALISON TRINCHAM: Hello. I understand that I'm here for an interview...
• BH: Yes, yes, you are. You're one of the University's more controversial politicians, seen as a breath of fresh air by some and as the queen of the establishment by others. Your party is almost completely opposed to the rest of the Coalition, so why join them?
• AT: There are various reasons, but the main one is to provide a coherent resistance to their policies without being tarnished by the stain of the Student Unity. In addition, they asked us, and rejecting would have meant a much less stable government, or perhaps a left-wing, pro-TSU one. I'm already on good terms with Liam and Josh, OK with Leanne after she defended me, apathetic towards Henry, completely opposed to Sara and Ryan. I'm supporting the people I disagree with the most, so why are people saying that I'm part of the establishment?
• BH: Because you're in the Democratic caucus (which forms the coalition). What do you think about the proposed security measures planned by the rightist parties in the coalition?
• AT: Against. I've voted against acts to provide solidarity with the nationstateless, impose an in-advance levy on sugary drinks, and against anti-terrorism legislation. Why? Because these bills attempted to infringe on personal sovereignty - whether forcing us to impose boycotts on others, pay stealth taxes, or have our dormitories under indefinite watch by the local forces. I will stand against the measures once again.
• BH: As well as that, you are also a major opponent of the Tinhampton Student Unity. Why is that?
• AT: It's simple: If we want change in the University, we need to do it through democratic means, not through violence. Consider: I am old enough to remember late 2015, the Liberated University of Tinhampton. We were told it was a haven for social justice, but they ended up punishing their members for every microaggression and every spending of emotional labour. You could believe me: Once you spent an hour or two inside, you'd never want to look back. Thankfully, they're down now, but it appears that certain people want to revive this harsh tradition.
• BH: And finally, a poster was put up by the Progressive caucus entitled "The Truth About Trincham", a controversial leaflet directly targeting you for your political views. What do you say?
• AT: Well, I think that Leanne covered the main points excellently at the start of the month, but I'd just like to say that it was possibly the most horrifying thing I have ever read. I think only about 20% of it at most was correct. It was basically a bag of slander, lies and outright division. That even the addresses are wrong should give you an idea about the factuality of the piece.
  .
• BH: Thanks a lot for that. Our fourth candidate is Sara Puchos, leader of the Socialist caucus and major proponent of the Student Unity. We'll be talking to her about the TSU, the coalition, and Tinhampton's "Renters' Union". Greeting.
• SARA PUCHOS: Hola! What are we talking about today?
• BH: Important stuff. Stuff like the Tinhampton Student Unity, of which you are one of the more vocal defenders. Can you justify this?
• SP: Yes, actually, I can. With the recent loss, the Unity is one of our last hopes remaining to take back the University from conservative corruption and their allies. Without them, we are left behind, stranded on an island of danger. Need I say any more?
• BH: No. We're probably short on time, anyway. In an earlier speech late last month, you decried the opposition of then-Premier Josh Wilkinson as supportive of "serious harm" against the University's freedom, which was later tagged along with the entire coalition. Do you have any regrets?
• SP: No, not at all. I was honestly shocked when I saw that these people had formed a new government. We shall fight them to the bitter end, on every beach and plain that there is.
• BH: This is going quite quickly. I'd like to round off by asking: As 14% of students at our student dorms have worries that they could be evicted from their halls of residence due to asking for repairs, I'd like to ask you: Is the Tinhampton Student Renters' Union doing a good job, or even a necessary one?
• SP: If I'm correct here, we aren't legally allowed to evict our students for any purpose that is not fit. There may have been a couple, but I wasn't even born when those happened!
  .
• BH: Thanks muchly. Fifth up on our list is Leanne Potts, who leads the Alliance for Security. You will not be surprised to learn that we will talk to her about security, but we will also talk to her about Ladgate and Alison Trincham. Good afternoon.
• LEANNE POTTS: You, too.
• BH: You are aware that this is an interview live on Tinhampton University FM, right? If not, you know now. If so, I'd like to learn a bit more about your main focus on security, and I'm sure the rest of TinU would as well.
• LP: It's quite simple, really. Security is clear-cut - either you get additional members of security in, or you don't; either you monitor emails and phone calls, or you don't; either you support working with local authorities to deal with students who are in Tinhampton illegally, or you don't. We vote for all security measures, whether direct or indirect, vote for the budget and other things that require approval, abstain from repeals or antithetical proposals, and abstain on everything else. This has been policy since we were founded in 2002, and it will be policy when we carry on in 2032.
• BH: You joined Tinhampton University in September 2015, which came four months before the "Ladgate" controversy. It involved threats that the university's entire football team would be suspended on the grounds of "promoting lad culture"; however, the as of yet delayed trial, which is due for the 30th of April at the latest, was to have taken place on-campus rather than off-site. A similar controversy could well be brewing as we speak. What do you think?
• LP: As you say, yes, lad culture is a large problem, but it shouldn't be a legal matter, as almost everybody I have talked with agrees - whether on-site or outside campus. Sure, it can be disencouraged by students, but I feel that any government action to be taken against it will almost certainly be tagged along with other problems. If I had to say, I'd be for it.
• BH: OK. To conclude, despite your political differences, in the wake of the controversial Progressive-published leaflet entitled "The Truth About Trincham", you defended the Democratic leader in a speech on Thursday, the last day of campaigning. How influential did you think that was?
• LP: Quite important, to be honest. People saw it, they shared it, they saw through the Progressive lies, and they changed their minds. Had it not been for my intervention, they would be even stronger today. The moratorium only applied to candidates and media, not to regular voters, so I think that it was a very good thing. If you've already shared it, you have my permission to keep it uploaded, provided that you haven't changed it about or anything like that. Thanks and bye!
  .
• BH: Now that Leanne's stolen my line, I'd like to introduce you to the penultimate candidate, Henry Rach, retiring leader of the Environmentalists. We'll be talking to him about what he wants his successor to do, as well as reflecting on the election and air quality. Good afternoon.
• HENRY RACH: And a good afternoon to you too. You've come to talk to me about...
• BH: Various things, actually, related to the election (if you remember your invite slip). Firstly, despite not having yet run out your first term out of the two you can legally serve, you have already announced your resignation from the position, and left it open for the Environmentalists' 400-odd members. The race appears to be close between Ioannis Athenapolous and Ellen Rhodes. Regardless of which way the vote turns, what advice would you leave for your successor?
• HR: Keep on pushing with our goals. Keep on divesting from fossil fuels and investing in renewable energy. Keep on encouraging people to save energy. Keep on with adding more vegan items on the menu...
• BH: You are aware that, regardless of who gets elected, your caucus is likely to see its first meat-eating leader for over a dozen years?
• HR: I don't care. These people need to follow the party ideology, and that is that.
• BH: Doesn't the caucus constitution state that a hard-line following of the party ideology is not necessary?
• HR: I didn't even know that until recently...
• BH: So, if I'm right, the main reason why the Environmentalists only just held on to their eight seats is because they had a leader who didn't even know their party's rules and their own responsibilities? Didn't you threaten to remove Athenapolous and Rhodes from the party after they voted for the Soda Levy Act?
• HR: These people, they can believe what they want to believe, but I feel that their recent votes have shown their true colours, especially on a three-line whip.
• BH: Even though they agree with you, for the most part, when it comes to parliamentary votes, and that they opposed the Soda Levy due to the "additional burden they create on students?"
• HR: Free university demands that all will pay higher taxes, exempting the poor, the needy and the...
• BH: You do realise that we're talking about the advice you'd leave for Athenapolous and Rhodes?
• HR: If we have to continue like this, then I'll take back my position.
• BH: Which would require you to stand and defeat those two, which remains an unlikely prospect even among your most die-hard supporters...
• HR: Alright! I'm outta here!
  .
• BH: Well, that was quite the controversial interview. I'd like to round off this series by talking to Ryan Baker, now-disgraced novice leader of the Progressive caucus. We'll be talking to him about "The Truth About Trincham", the TSU, and how the Progressives can recover. Hello.
• RYAN BAKER: Hey. What are we talking about?
• BH: Yourself, and your caucus. First question: Your pamphlet "The Truth About Trincham" was spread across her home campus of Metropolis shortly before the election; the proof that was promised last Saturday never arrived. Many are denouncing it as a fraud, but your defenders state that you were not yet ready to release the information. Be frank: Do you regret this pamphlet?
• RB: In actual fact... yes, yes, I do have regrets. Looking back over it, I recognised that I made some fundamental and yet silly assumptions: That Alison thought that the attack definitely happened, that I thought that she was only a centrist through combination of a bunch of extreme ideologies, that I tried to tarnish her reputation, and so on. This should never have had happened, although I guess it's too late now. On behalf of the entire University community, I would like to apologise to Alison Trincham CM for the damaging rumours spread against her. In addition, I shall resign from my position as Leader of the Progressive Caucus, effective April the 10th.
• BH: Whilst that was a job well done, very little is likely to change the fact that the Progressives could take years to recover - an eon in our political terms. How can this happen faster?
• RB: I already have a successor in mind. I won't name him, or her, until next month, but I know that they have excellent plans to help us recover. We're being made out as the left's major resistance to the TSU, and we could support the government on some of their ventures, which will be a big plus. My successor is only going to help with that, whilst helping us maintain our unique identity.
• BH: And finally, we return to the hot topic of the day, the TSU. Although your party has opposed them constantly, they could very well attack your party next, even though they already hold substantial opposition to Trincham. What do you think?
• RB: As I've already said, many consider us the left-wing opposition to the Student Unity. I've already apologised about Alison, but I'll doubt that'll be enough. Security is needed, yes, but only to stop potential attacks in their tracks. I don't think you have anything more to talk about, so I'd like to say ta-ta.
  .
• BH: Unfortunately, that is all we have time for, but we did have good time. Whether it be discussion, debate or heated arguments, we've already been through a lot. Your topical chat discussion show, All Things In Consideration, returns to regularly scheduled broadcasting at noon on Friday, where we will ask ordinary voters what they thought of the election and the hot topic surrounding it. I'm Barry Holder, the 14th host of All Things In Consideration, and I'd like to say goodbye until Friday.

WHAT NEXT?
As it turned out, the TSU quickly faded away, mainly due to the apprehension of their leaders. The Progressives were only to recover late on, whilst the other parties continued as they had been. Yes, there was some controversy, but violence and general Social Justice War (on either side) was barely anywhere to be seen. The Coalition was fighting for its majority, and they still had to deal with fierce opposition, but the warning signs of 2017 should send a message to one and all: Don't use violence when petitions and politics will do.

[Union of Socialist Alpine Republics]

The North Eurasian International Press (NEIP) changes it's name

Los Osos, Republic of Sonoma - (NAP) It's been a couple of months that most articles from North Eurasian nations are signed "NEIP" (North Eurasian International Press), but since all of these nations united together to form the Union of Socialist Alpine Republics, the NEIP needed a new name. The new name has been revealed yesterday in a press conference in Los Osos and here is the new name: National Alpine Press (NAP). So from now on, most articles in Alpine newspapers will be signed "NAP" instead of "NEIP"! Isn't it wonderful?

World Cup 78 Preview

Malbork, Republic of East Prussia - (NAP) The World Cup has recently started and here is a late preview. The Union of Socialist Alpine Republics inherits Prusy Krolewskie's rank (87th) and has been placed in group 8 with some familiar nations and some who aren't. Some nations in this group have ties with nations who played against Pays den haut during the qualifications for the World Cup 72 hosted by Valanora. Let's take a look at the final standings for group 17 in those qualifications:

P Group 17                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Legalese                            14   12   0   2    31   12  +19    36
2 The Royal Barangay                  14    7   5   2    29   16  +13    26
3 Jeru FC                             14    6   2   6    27   26   +1    20
4 Pays d'en Haut                      14    4   7   3    19   23   −4    19
5 Octinstine                          14    5   2   7    20   22   −2    17
6 Electrum Diplomatic Offices         14    4   3   7     5   13   −8    15
7 Volcanoc                            14    3   4   7    11   17   −6    13
8 Corralejo                           14    3   1  10    15   28  −13    10

Who is Pays d'en Haut? Pays d'en Haut means "Upper Countries" in French language and is located in North Eurasia, just north of the former Prusy Krolewskie (OOC: I'm the user behind them) but they have not been invited to join the Alpine Union due to their constant threat against other nations. Pays d'en Haut is a particuliar nation. They're still in middle ages and are overly catholic, there's a lot of stuff they don't tolerate, which include nudity and other religions than catholicism. Pays d'en Haut confused Jeru FC with Jeruselem and threatened to behead them if they comes out of the plane or shows up on the field clotheless. Their home game against Jeru FC had to be played in the Southern Democratic States, which is now part of the Alpine Union, and was played without any incident. Pays d'en Haut also banned Electrum Diplomatic Offices' assistant coach, the Goddess Margaret, and a Margaret summoner on EDO's roster from entering in their country. This was Pays d'en Haut last participation in a World Cup qualification, now they're gone from the international scene and the U.S.A.R. took the whole place.

Enough with the past, let's take a look at group 8 of the World Cup 78 qualifications:

GROUP 8
Electrum (21)
Kosovakia (105)
Cosneolta (134)
New Lusitania and the Algarves (284)
Valladares (8)
Union of Socialist Alpine Republics (87)
Kecrazia (217)
Scottopian Isles (UR)
Jeruselem (41)

Valladares (8)
Valladares is clearly the best team in the group on paper. They use a 3-2-2-3 formation which can turn into a 3-2-5 formation when attacking and a 5-4-1 when defending, and it works very well because they're ranked 8th. It's also a team which relies a lot on speed. The Union of Soclialist Alpine Republics lost 2-1 to them on the road on matchday 1 (Zbigniew Zajaczkowski scored the only goal for the Bisons) and we'll recieve them at home on matchday 10 at the Violet Bowl in Los Osos. The Violet Bowl is primarily a gridiron football stadium but it's also used for association football. We project two losses against Valladares.

Electrum (21)
Electrum is familiar to us. The Southern Airlines have signed a partnership with Air Electrum a long time ago, and signed a new partnership with Air Terranea more recently. Their football team is still one of the best despite they fell from 15th to 21st. Their team is still the same as the last World Cup but in their guide for the media, they mention that the team is now more proactive and less reactive. They're also less defensive. The USAR will travel to Electrum on matchday 6 and will recieve them at Beverage Road in Twyford on matchday 15. We project two losses against Electrum.

Jeruselem (41)
Pays d'en Haut threatened Jeru FC in the past, but the Union of Socialist Alpine Republics is a different nation. We are not a backward nation stuck in middle ages like them. Jeruselem, ranked 41st, is using a 4-4-2 formation which includes 2 Dallas and no sallad. Jeruselem don't have to worry about being threatened in the USAR. The USAR is made with 30 republics which each has their own laws. One of them republics, the Southern Virgin Islands, have very relaxed laws. Nudity is not only allowed, but is also encouraged. Alchohol and drugs are legal, prostitution is legal, everything but murder, rape, burglary and arson is legal. On matchday 5, the USAR will recieve Jeruselem at A.J. Rooney Recreation Ground located in Frederiksted, Southern Virgin Islands. Jeruselem will be welcomed at the airport, and then at the stadium with a fully naked guard of honor made half with men and half with women alternating. The stadium seats 1 500 fans and is the largest stadium in the Southern Virgin Islands. On matchday 14, the USAR will travel to Jeruselem. Both games against Jeruselem will be shown recorded during the after shed hour with black bars hiding any private parts. We project one draw and one loss against Jeruselem.

Kosovakia (105)
Kosovakia, ranked 105th, didn't release their roster and there's not much to say about them. The USAR will recieve them on matchday 7 at Inbox Stadium in Linlithgow, home of the Linlithgow Rangers F.C., and will travel to Kosovakia on matchday 16. We project two wins against Kosovakia.

Cosneolta (134)
Cosneolta, ranked 134th, is a bigger threat than Kosovakia. They're a small fiscal paradise with many offshore companies from Mercedini having a bank account over there. The Bisons will travel to Cosneolta on matchday 8 and will recieve them on matchday 17 at Stadion Narodowy w Ozorkowie in Ozorkow, the largest city in the USAR and the former Prusy Krolewskie. We project one draw and one win against Cosneolta.

Kecrazia (217)
Kecrazia, at 217th, isn't a threat to us and they're overly defensive. We may not score a lot of goals against them, but they won't score either. The USAR beat them 1-0 on matchday 3 in Malbork, Republic of Prussia East (on a goal by Sarah Schroffenegger) and will travel to Kecrazia on matchday 12. We project one draw and one win against Kecrazia.

New Lusitania and the Algarves (284)
A nation ranked 284th who didn't publish their roster, it will be a walk in the park for the Reprezentacja Alpejski. The USAR will recieve them on matchday 9 at Estadio Santiago Abreu in Manzanilla and will travel to this nation on matchday 18. We project 2 wins against New Lusitania and the Algarves.

Scottopian Isles (UR)
An intriguing nation, they're unranked but will certainly finish ahead of New Lusitania and the Algarves in the standings. They have a rich history in football but are just joining the international scene. They are using a 3-4-3 formation and are better offensively than defensively. The USAR will travel to the Scottopian Isles on matchday 4 and will recieve them at Stadion Zvonimir in Zagrad on matchday 13. We project two wins against Scottopian Isles.

A 8-3-5 record, a 4th place and an invitation to the Cup of Harmony is projected for the Union of Socialist Alpine Republics.

[Brenecia]

(4-2-3-1 / 4-1-4-1) 1 - Calhoun; 2 - Szukala (18 - Uffington 72'), 5 - Scrivener (c), 22 - Bradden (6 - Cascarine 37'), 3 - Lovelock; 4 - Gryphon (c), 8 - Skorupska; 7 - Trevelyan, 11 - Balliol (16 - Drover 60'), 13 - Keohane; 14 - Lynch
Goal: Keohane 14', Lynch 48'

Watching Eoin Cascarine sprint, Colm Beckwith reflected, was like watching a bear dance. It was kind of funny, but most of all it was cruel.
It wasn't the lad's fault. He was a standard centre-back - tall timber at 6'5", the right kind of triangular build, and he'd been well-drilled at Union and was doing well in Pasarga. He'd been worth a callup for sure, and would probably get more with time as Brenecia's existing stock aged. And he'd been rock-solid coming in for the injured Bradden (who'd done his ankle, it looked like) as long as the ball was in front of him. But right now, after Mertonen hit just the right ball over the top for Karjanen to chase, he was behind the play and damn well staying there.
They were indebted to Woodgate dashing off his line and hooking the ball away, and he in turn was indebted to Karjanen's fractionally heavy first touch. It could, very easily, have been 2-1, and almost more importantly than the scoreline, the Savojars would've been let back into the match psychologically.
And they really were up for this, crunching into tackles and crashing into enthusiastic 50/50s, giving everything their all. But there was a tactical issue here. Normally a defensive, disciplined side relying on pace down the wings to attack, they'd faced in Brenecia a... defensive, disciplined side relying on pace down the wings to attack. Understandably, this had lead to something of an impasse at first, but Brenecia had more players who could make the difference for them. Mostly, this was in midfield. Andersson was focused on shutting down Balliol and was in fact doing really well at that.
He wasn't, however, focused on Keohane. In fact, when the Islander made her dashing, mazy run, nobody was tracking her, and then Trevelyan's forceful cross found her unmarked in the box and she just calmly sidefooted past Jarnstroem.
So then the Savojars had to break from their plan and smash into the packed Brenecian defence. It hadn't worked, apart from a couple of times when it almost had, and early in the second half Lynch sprung loose on the counterattack, went one-on-one with Jarnstroem and coolly lofted it past him into the net.
And now, on the hour mark, the shift. It was practically choreographed. Drover came on for Balliol and sat back in central midfield, and Gryphon sat deeper in a pure defensive role. Keohane and Trevelyan shifted wider. Lynch stood alone up front. Two goals up and half an hour to play, and while prior Brenecia sides might just try to run up the score a bit and risk defeat (apart from early Brenecia sides, which would never manage to score twice to begin with) Bardsley was content to just let the Savojars crash off their defence.
Half an hour later, it had, unsurprisingly, worked. The game had faded out.
Bardsley managed a terse smile and a firm handshake with Pedersen and walked straight down the tunnel. She'd earned her pay. And Beckwith appreciated that professionalism - this was the only Bardsley he knew.
But it worried her when people who'd known her longer and better asked behind her back, when they thought nobody was listening;
"What happened to her in Sameba?"

It wasn't a question Beckwith dared ask. He was just the assistant, here to aid and abet Bardsley's task of smooth qualification, a task she was, so far, performing with perfect efficiency. But the idea pecked at the back of his mind, anyway - and his memories of her first term were certainly... different.
She was a fan, in the heat of the moment. She spoke with fervent passion, pumped her fist at every goal, shouted in frustration at every poor call, and she genuinely believed that the only way forward for Brenecia was to strike with elan, to try and seize glory, to fight and press and limp bloodied but unbowed across the line...
And she'd been axed for it by the notoriously trigger-happy BFA. No, to Beckwith's mind, there was no deep trauma lying behind this change in attitude. She was just older, wiser and more pragmatic with a limited squad.
But maybe, for the World Cup itself? Maybe he'd ask a question or two. Just to satisfy his own curiosity.

[Sargossa]

SSM | Sargossan State Media
International Edition - Sport


Drama In Dunas


Blanco Borrayo reports from Dunas;

It was with no shortage of excitement that competitive World Cup action returned to Sargossa, the Estadio Del Sol was packed to the rafters and there was electricity in the air. Helped in no small part by the impressive performance and opening point of the campaign from the tricky trip to second seeds Mercedini. And expectations were high with unranked and unknown opposition in Sargossan sights. Makongo arrived in the resort city of Dunas as a last-minute replacement for Group 12’s previous lowest seeded side, who had been found to be ineligible, and having been turned over in the first fixture by equally unfancied Tveidalen. Which would have been grand had Makongo not responded by tearing Mercedini apart with a display of attacking élan nobody had expected of them in round two. The second seeds were fortunate indeed to escape with a point from that encounter. So what Makongo would we see in Dunas?

The answer was the all-out attacking version. Again and again the visitors poured forward, leaving acres of space for the Corsairs to exploit. Marcellán had already come close twice before Marí swept in Gamboa’s low cross to give the home side a well-deserved lead. And it was the supplier who turned goal scorer ten minutes later, latching on to Vecino’s pass and firing it hard and low across the keeper and into the back of the net. Two nil may have been a scoreline to suggest a dominant effort from the home side but at the other end Makongo were causing problems. Bouba Baldeh was drifting through the Cosairs’ defensive unit like a ghost and was involved in the visitor’s best chances of the half, putting a drive just wide himself and then teeing up Alifa Dieye. Unfortunately, the NK Mannaeyjar striker blasted the ball into the side netting and the two-goal cushion stood.

It stood for a further seven minutes after the interval, until Makongo scored the goal of the game. Experienced forward Adama Koné is considered something of a star back home and showed exactly why when, out of nothing, he picked up Baldeh’s pass and from twenty-five yards unleashed an unstoppable drive which left Sargossa keeper Vega rooted to the spot. With images of Makongo’s performance in Mercedini running through their minds the Darker Blues searched for a goal to kill off the plucky opposition. In the Makongo goal Tairu Cona was performing heroics, clawing away Fernández’s header before bravely diving at the feet of Marí to block the rebound. Marcellán was the next to be denied, Cona smothering his shot before bowling it out long for Baldeh. The playmaker threaded a first-time ball through to Dieye who was making quick inroads down the left. The tricky striker left Duarte on the floor, cut inside, skipping past Pérez and onto his right foot, before curling a precision strike beyond the reach of the diving Vega. It was a tremendous piece of individual skill. The unranked side had arrived in Dunas and scored two goals of genuine quality.

Coach Rafael Barrios responded immediately, withdrawing centreback Duarte and throwing on big frontman Iván Mayoral in his place. And so commenced an aerial bombardment of the Makongo penalty area. The visitors, in only their third international fixture, dropped deeper and deeper as the fulltime whistle approached, desperate to claim a second successive point against higher ranked opposition. But with four minutes of normal time remaining Gamboa’s corner was headed back across the face of goal by Fernández, Yaya Kabba sliced his clearance, Gamboa fired in a dangerous low ball and the outstretched boot of Mayoral sent the ball spinning passed Cona. There was no messing around from Barrios as he introduced Bastos and Zambrano, defensive players both, to see the match through to the final whistle.

Sargossa 3 - 2 Makongo
Marí
Gamboa
Mayoral

Elsewhere in Group 12 top seeds Nephara bounced back from their slow start to trounce St. Saratoga. Second seeds Mercedini were left still looking for a first win of the campaign, sharing the spoils with former world champions Starblaydia in Zoloroni and Yuezhou registered their first points in Tveidalen. Currently Starblaydia lead the way on seven points, with Sargossa joining Nephara and Darmen in second with four points. Mercedini, Tveidalen, Yuezhou and St. Saratoga are all just a single point further back. Group 12 was earmarked as one of the tougher groups pre-qualifying and it’s shaping out to be just that. Next up for Sargossa, a trip to Jhanna and a tussle with the ever formidable Men (Women, Elves) In Mauve.

[Aggrey-Fynn Land]

LANDER SPORTS NETWORK

Your plug for all things sport.

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AGGREY-FYNN LAND OFF TO A FLYING START IN WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS

Aggrey-Fynn Land has been all over the multiverse in the past few weeks. They went from the 65th Baptism of Fire where they finished as the runner-up, to friendlies in Samueltown and abroad, and their first qualifying campaign for the 78th World Cup. The Wavy Ones have responded quite well to the heavy workload; although they have lost a few close games, they have managed to hang with more experienced teams. After the first three games of the qualifiers, The Superstars get a break during Matchday 4. Here is a recap of their games in the qualifiers so far.

AGGREY-FYNN LAND 2-1 SARRBIA

GOAL: Lisco (37')
GOAL: Grammy (68')
GOAL: Duval (82')

Aggrey-Fynn Land traveled to Sarrbia in their first match. Sarrbia is ranked slightly higher than Aggrey-Fynn Land, at 110th in the world. As a result, the team was bracing for a hard-fought game. "In order to have a chance to qualify, we'll need all the points we can get", Gee Francisco said to Lander Sports Network. "We need wins against teams like Sarrbia; slightly better than us, but still a chance to leave with three points." The game was very close; both teams took care of the ball when it was in their possession; as a result, the pass success rate was very high for both teams. The goalkeepers were playing very good games; this prevented the scoreline from getting too lopsided in either team's favor. However, Sarrbia managed to pull ahead in the 37th minute when Salgin Ordruvor backheeled the ball to Kelvin Lisco, who launched a screamer into the top of the net. This was too much for Jahseh Twins to handle; Sarrbia went into the half with an advantage, 1-0.

The second half was a different story. Aggrey-Fynn Land came out with a new kind of aggressiveness, breaking up the Sarr's long balls. This marked a change in the game; since Aggrey-Fynn Land was getting in the way of the Sarr's buildup play, they started getting many good chances. In the 68th minute, Tanner Grammy intercepted a Sarrbian pass with a burst of speed, and quickly slotted the ball past Altavian Kalhoro for the Superstars first goal. The goal seemed to energize the team, which continued to play with a new vigor for the rest of the game. The goal also seemed to energize the Sarrs, who did not want to lose their first qualifying game in front of the home fans. This led to smarter passes from them. The game was again in a deadlock, and nobody could tell who would break it. In the 82nd minute, there was a corner. The ball whipped into the box, and R.J. Duval met it with his head, burying it into the right corner. This goal gave Aggrey-Fynn Land the lead, 2-1. Soon after, the referee blew the final whistle. The game was over, and Aggrey-Fynn Land had started the campaign off with a thrilling come-from-behind victory.

AGGREY-FYNN LAND 1-1 KARELO-FINLAND

Whitlick (2')
Karelo-Finland (90 + 3')

The Wavy Ones made their way back to Samueltown for their match against Karelo-Finland, who currently sit at 265th in the world. The pundits were predicting a comfortable win for Aggrey-Fynn Land, but Jerry Simmons warned his boys not to be complacent. "Just like we were able to defeat Sarrbia, Karelo-Finland could come and beat us", the manager said. "I want you boys to play like it's the most important game in your life!" he exclaimed in the locker room before the game. Aggrey-Fynn Land went into the game filled with the inspiring words from their manager. Perhaps, as a result of the inspiration, Aggrey-Fynn Land struck quickly. The goal scorer was Gordon Whitlick, who broke away on a counter attack and chipped the opposing goalkeeper. This quick goal brought the Wavy Ones ahead, 1-0. Aggrey-Fynn Land smothered Karelo-Finland for the rest of the half; every tackle seemed to be in the right place. They went into the half; Aggrey-Fynn Land had the 1-0 advantage.

The second half was more of the same, Aggrey-Fynn Land held the majority of the possession. They had multiple chances to pad their lead, but none of them seemed to go in. The fans were in a jovial mood; after all, this is the first time the Superstars were playing in an official game at home. It appeared as if Aggrey-Fynn Land was going to take home the three points; they were controlling the flow of play, and gave Karelo-Finland little chance to recover. However, they did exactly what their manager urged them not to do; they became complacent. They stopped playing with purpose, and their passes became sloppy. Although this strategy worked for them most of the game due to the inferior quality of the opposition, it was what did them in in the end. One of Karelo-Finland's midfielders intercepted a ball during stoppage time and took off running towards the goal. The back four's response was not much more than a lazy tackle in his direction. The midfielder launched a shot right at Jahseh Twins. Although the accuracy of the shot was subpar, it was powerful enough that it deflected off Twins and rolled into the goal. In the waning moments of the game, Aggrey-Fynn Land's three points were snatched from them and they received only one. The score was a 1-1 draw.

AGGREY-FYNN LAND 0-0 BRIGANTII

Aggrey-Fynn Land traveled to Brigantii for their last game. Brigantii is ranked 43rd in the world; this is the highest ranked team Aggrey-Fynn Land has ever played. To add to the monumental task, they were away. "Not gonna lie, this is probably gonna be one of the hardest games of our lives", Roman Kendrick said before the game. "They are a highly ranked and respected team, so we will have to work hard to get some points from this encounter." They went into this game hoping to stick to their plan; to use their defense to stifle the opposition's offensive talent. They were highly successful at this; the ball stayed in the middle for most of the game and whenever it came to the back four, they skillfully dispossessed the opposition. The game was quite boring; neither team had many shots on goal thanks to the stellar defending by both teams. The possession was pretty equal too, no team was able to get a clear advantage over the other. After 90 minutes, the game had ended just how it began; 0-0.

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Currently, The Wavy Ones find themselves in third for their qualifying group. The top two teams in the group will qualify for the World Cup. Aggrey-Fynn Land still has a long way to go before the end of the campaign, so they still have a chance to make history and bring pride to their country. We think they could do it, do you? All will be revealed in the coming weeks.