World Cup 52 - Cafundéu/Nethertopia - the RP thread

by **Tyrrin** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:41 am

TYRRIN NATIONAL NEWS
WILLEM BACK WITH ROYALE
By Benny Tjerd

The group draw for World Cup 52 took place last night, but was unfortunately not open to foreigners due to severe flooding in the room where the draw took place. It was not clear whether this was due to a burst pipe or a monsoon, but regardless, all the participating nations got the draw in the mail this morning (I think it was in the mail, I didn't actually receive the notification myself).

The Stallions were drawn in Group B with Kelssek, Bostopia, and Cassadaigua, which places us as the second seed in the group, which I find hard to believe. Kelssek was the nation that helped to knock us out of World Cup 50 qualification, so we will take our games against them as miniature grudge matches. This will be the second time that we have drawn a number one seed in our group, though we did defeat the Dagans in World Cup 51 when they were ranked number five. Hopefully we can pull off another upset here. Bostopia are the only team that we have never faced, so it will be interesting to see how Montcalve approaches our match against them.

Now on to the main news of the day. This morning, Tyrrinians everywhere woke up to the news that Michael Willem is back with Tyrrin Royale. Ok, take a deep breath. I'm going to go back to the beginning of this incident and show you how this all happened. It all started with the CEO of Energizia Inc., Paolo Mancini, who recently purchased Tyrrin Royale for a hefty $800 million. As he was not native to Tyrrin, he wasn't quite familiar with the way things are run around here. As soon as he bought the club, he immediately looked around for a player that would not only improve the squad, but also engage and attract fans from all over the nation, and even the world. The person he finally found was Michael Willem.

Mancini soon contacted Willem's club, Ousevale Borough. He offered them $20 million for the transfer of Willem back to his former club (which is less than half of what brought him to the Tigers, but he's a lot older now). Ousevale Borough management, realizing that Willem was aging and that they might never get a better offer, accepted. Thus, Michael Willem would return to the club that first made him famous.

The only hitch was that Commander's League policy states that all transfers must be approved by the TSC before they take place. This deal happened so fast that the TSC wasn't even aware that it had happened until everything was signed, sealed, and delivered. Mancini was unfortunately unaware of this protocol, so the transfer still went through. Ansel Tapani, head of the TSC, stated that "by the time we found out about the deal, it was too late to stop it, as money had already been exchanged. We couldn't force Ousevale Borough to buy back Willem, as they weren't under our jurisdiction."

This transfer also went over the head of the Royale board of directors, who were extremely angered by Mancini's renegade approach to ownership. Harry Lalas commented "Willem may be good for Royale in the short term, but he doesn't have more than one or two seasons left in him, and we really wanted to develop some of our young talent a bit. This was just a waste of money."

Fans are reacting in quite a different way. They adore Willem completely, and many were ecstatic to find that he was back with Royale. They could care less about what happens in the future, they just want to see Willem play in Royale red and white one last time. Expect Royale ticket sales to skyrocket next season in what will be a temporary gain for the club, one that will hopefully be worth more than $20 million.

And what does Willem himself think about all this? In my exclusive interview with him, which you can read on TNN.com, he stated that "it was always my dream to retire with Royale. This club gave so much to me, and I want to give back in any way I can. My time in Krytenia was great, but my heart will always lie with Royale." Willem left Ousevale Borough as their top goal scorer in history, and captured two(?) league titles with the club.

Email Benny Tjerd at bterd@tnn.tyr

by **Dorian and Sonya** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:53 am

Mystical Unicorn Qualify - Pink Pride Nations Now At 3

My Queen,

It is with great privilege that I can relate to you the news of our qualification for World Cup 52. It is a result that I had nearly given up hope on attaining once we had opened the door for the Monks of the Archregimancy to coast into the spot.

We managed to take care of our match with Milchama, which turned out to be every bit as tough as we imagined it would be. The Warriors were not about to roll over and hand us the match as they had too much pride despite having a very horrible run as of late. They scored early (4’) to set the pace and our girls had to pull it together quickly as two more close calls nearly made it 3-0 before the 10 minute mark.

But nerves settled down and we did pull even in the 23rd minute and managed to keep the score level through the half. Stout defense from both sides controlled the first 35 minutes of the second half before we found a goal in the 80th minute that put us ahead and another three minutes later that we thought sewed up the match. But Milchama continued to press hard and gor one back in the 85th minute. Then they threw every trick in the book at us as they come on furiously looking for the equalizer. But it was not their day as our Unicorns prevailed 3-2.

What we did not expect was to see the result that came out of The Archregimancy/Bergnovinaia match as the upstarts did exactly what we had hoped by handing the Monks a 1-0 defeat and us a place in the World Cup itself.

And now that we are officially in, the draw has been announced and we now know who we must play in the group stage:

Our first match will be against the mighty Rawrrcrush, Purple Peril of Starblaydia. It is not often that one can say the 24th ranked side in the world is but a shadow of its former self, but that is exactly the case here. If we are to move on to the knockout rounds, this is the side we must get points from. Not an easy task.

The second match will be against 11th ranked Pays de Horreur, a side we have never faced before. But we will have to watch ourselves closely against this group of society’s rejects. That much testosterone combined with such a lack of basic humanity means that our girls are in for quite a fight.

And lastly we will face off again with a side we have come to respect greatly and faced twice during the qualifiers - The Babbage islands. We nearly kept even with them in the first match and managed to escape the second with the biggest upset we have managed in the history of the Unicorns. Can we knock them off again? Yes. Is it very likely that we can knock them off again? Nope.

So the stage is set. Now all we need to do is continue our magical run.

Your humble sewrvant,
Khyber

by **The Babbage Islands** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 12:58 pm

The World Cup groups have been drawn for our fourth appearance. We're in Group C playing in Nethertopia. This is mildly disappointing, as I think Orson and Jerry and Jason and I would have enjoyed playing in front of Cafundeu fans who know us. On the other hand, I look forward to traveling in another land and seeing what the Nethertopians have on offer.

Group C are an interesting lot; sort of a microcosm of World Cup past, present, and future.

We open against Pays de Horreur, the surprise team of the most recent Cup. The common adjective for such an eleven is "Cinderella", from the fairy tale, but nothing could be further from the truth here. This team of prison inmates went from relative nowhere to the semifinals of World Cup 51, much as we emerged from the pack in World Cup 50 to make the semis. Can they do it again? Sure they can. But nobody will be treating the #11 team lightly this cycle.

Next up are Starblaydia, simply the biggest name in World Cup history. Five World Cups (and eighteen total championships) will do that. They're ranked 24th going in, and certainly are not ranked amongst the top sides in contemporary football by most pundits. But they've forgotten more really big games than we've played. There is an aura about a side with nothing to prove that makes them especially dangerous.

Finally, the elves of Dorian and Sonya are becoming quite familiar to Bumblebee fans. Ranked 50th in the world, they were the second qualifiers out of our group after some last-round heroics. The Mystical Unicorns also handed us our only loss in 22 rounds of qualifying, a 3-2 decision on their home ground. They're a link between past and future--recently returned to international sport after many years' absence, one gets the feeling that their best is yet to come.

And what of the Bumblebees? We're going in as #3 in the world. The bullseye is on our backs. Our team is young, strong, and experienced. Our manager is one of the greats of his craft. Against this group I think nine points would require a great deal of luck on top of excellent play. Five should see us through. I'm guessing six or seven, two wins and one softer result. Want my prediction on who goes through with us? Your guess is as good as mine.

From a personal perspective, this is the best shot I'll ever have. I'll be 35 by the time another World Cup is played. Even if the Bumblebees are still a top-five side by then there's no guarantee I'll be a key player. Most players, including top-level players, are gone or clearly on the downside of their careers at that age.

The fourth Babbage appearance in the World Cup should be at least as entertaining as the first three. And maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to hoist the hardware at the end of the road.

Smile!

by **Valladares** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:55 pm

Valladares Sports Net

WORLD CUP 52 - Sarzonia, Landau Institute and Jeru FC will be the rivals for Valladares in Cafundeu

LET THE SHOW BEGIN

By: Alan Rosero,
Blogger from "The National Kickoff"

CAFUNDEU (VP) - Hello everyone, I remember I said after the match against Cassadaigua that I wouldn't pay a cent in taxes to those Cafundelense people even if my life depended on it. But it seems that fate has decided to punish my mouth with the draw for the finals held at the CCFM building. We were drawn against Sarzonia, Jeru FC and Landau Institute in Group G, which will be playing its games in...Cafundeu. At first sight, this will be a tough group for us, bearing in mind that we'll face two Top-10 teams, and a team which won its qualifying group with no problems at all. This draw was maybe the rarest draw any VFA President has ever attended: a flooded room, severe rainfall and a note on the front wall of the building announcing the final groups. It seems this organization really loves to save time and ballots, don't you think?

Well, let's talk about our rivals in the finals. Our first match will be against Sarzonia, who we already faced in our qualifying group for World Cup 51. The eight best team in the world won its qualifying group (which also contained Sargossa and Burchadinger) with 55 points (they won one point more than us), only losing to Ziok in their last match. Personally, I've always liked Sarzonia. It'll be a great match to start our history in the World Cup finals, as well as a tough opening match. We'll have to do a great match against the Stars if we want to have a chance. Sarzonia and Valladares faced each other twice (during World Cup 51 qualifiers, as stated before), with the Stars winning both matches.

Landau Institute will be the second team we'll face in the finals. They qualified to this World Cup after winning Group 5 with 58 points, eleven points clear of the second qualified team in their group: Schiavonia. Although we haven't faced them before, we have some references of them thanks to the matches they played against the Whirl Islands in this qualifying stage. The fact that the Institute is ranked 22nd in the world doesn't detract from the fact that they are dangerous. They have been a traditional team in the World Cup for a long time, and therefore must be treated with respect.

And finally we'll face Jeru FC, another Top-10 team which, however, had to suffer to get their classification. They qualified in second place in Group 1, with 53 points, but were during some matches in third place. Jeru FC is also a traditional team which always is present at the finals, and will be a tough test for us. We could be already eliminated or fighting for our qualification to the knockout rounds when we face them, but we can't lose that unique chance to give another Top-10 a hard time, and I think José Marín and his guys are more than ready to do that in Cafundeu.

Valladares will have a tough "Baptism of Fire" at the finals in Group G, with teams like Sarzonia and Jeru FC. As we're first-time qualifiers to the finals, few people will be looking at us, nobody expects something from us, but I'm sure we will be more than happy if our guys do a decent performance in Cafundeu in these three matches. No doubt this will be a great experience for some of them, but it'll also be the first and last for some others.

We have nothing to lose, but a lot of experience to win, and the World Cup will be a golden opportunity for our boys to show why we are at the finals.

SCHEDULE:

MD1: Valladares vs. Sarzonia
MD2: Landau Institute vs. Valladares
MD3: Valladares vs. Jeru FC

All venues to be confirmed.

by **Aguazul** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:04 pm

Valanora. West Zirconia. Akbarabad. A mixed bag, to be sure, yet Aguazul's still in a good mood going forward. Their history against Valanora has been rather successful, actually, with two wins, a draw, and two losses (including victory in the recent Vahala Invitational final). So perhaps that's making things overly buoyant. The point is, there's been plenty of chatter about Marauders, Tiger Eaters, and Meerkats.

According to Beto and his friends of the day, hanging out in some bar in Ciudad Peralta, this could be a problem. While these mascots threaten to various degrees, Aguazul doesn't have any mascot at all. One thing led to a vociferous nother, and pretty soon, they'd drawn up a completely unauthoritative set of World Cup 52 predictions, based solely on mascot awesomeness. This version is in English. The original wasn't, but they were so drunk by the time they got to the quarterfinals it wasn't very good Spanish either.

Group A: The Aces will be high on top of this one (they're the only players we recognize at all). The only nickname we can remember for the others is the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2, who will be a distant second.

Group B: Tyrrin's Stallions to win by a length. Cassadaigua are still only known as the "Dagans", but apparently they're trying to improve, so we will pick them to come in second place. Also they have won the last two World Cups, so they will probably make the knockout stages this time around. Not that this has anything to do with actual talent.

Group C: It may be their first time in the World Cup after a long hiatus, but come on, Mystical Unicorns, it sounds awesome. So, Dorian and Sonya to win this group, followed by The Babbage Islands Bumblebees as two teams from Group 6 progress.

Group D: This one belongs to the Corsairs of Sarrrrgossa. The Sloths will amble into second place. Eventually.

Group E: On home soil, the Monopolists...well hmm. Are the players actually Monopolists? If so, this isn't a great name for a mascot, as it's not metaphorical or whatever.

After heated discussion (and cooled beer), we've decided that the Monopolists will indeed top the group on home soil. In second, the Auric Wolves of Vephrall will edge out their colored counterparts of Albundania, the Blue Crew, largely on the basis that wolves are generally scarier than crews. Depends what they're crews of, obviously.

Group F: The Holy Empire's an erratic squad, but we don't see a mascot for them this time around, so that'll be the bottom of the group then. The Phoenixes of Delaclava blaze their way to the top. Second place provoked controversy; we finally decided that Secristani players probably are Millionaires, or otherwise it's not a very good mascot name because we don't know a million whats. So, Princesses it is then, even if it is a stupid monarchist thing. Boo.

Group G: Le Tricolore are not an awesome mascot. They are in French. So, the Sarzonia Stars to burn bright, and the Cannons in second.

Group H: Tiger Eaters would pose a threat...if there were any Tigers in the group. But since there aren't, the Marauders to win, followed by the Meerkats. Aguazul, alas, can't quite compete at this level.

Which would make the last sixteen...

Krytenia's Aces will probably trump whatever Cassadaigua are trying to come up with. The Mystical Unicorns leave the Sloths in the dust. The Golden Wolves can't keep pace with the Stallions. The Bumblebees will frustrate the Corsairs. Jeruselem, it turns out, actually do have a Princess on their Princesses, so their mascot really wasn't all that great and Cafundéu triumph. The Stars beat the Meerkats, because honestly, Meerkats? The Phoenixes, um, we're not sure they stay on fire that long, but they are still awesome, so they will win. Marauders just seem a little too antiquated to hold up to Cannons, so Jeru FC advance.

In the quarterfinals...

Aces are really more a baseball thing. Dorian and Sonya to go through. The Bumblebees get past the Stallions, somehow, while the Stars leave the Monopolists banging their heads against a wall. The Phoenixes evade the Cannons' range.

In the semifinals...

Mystical Unicorns are probably immune to Bumblebee attacks, or something. In a clash of friendly rivals, Delaclava hold out longer.

For third place...

Bumblebees are fast, but not Stars' escape velocity fast. Sarzonia win.

Which makes the final Mystical Unicorns versus Phoenixes. In a magical meeting, both sides realize that the beautiful spirit of football has been corrupted by Lasft big business and, in protest, leave the pitch, um, paw in wing? Anyway you heard it here first.

by **Cafundeu** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:22 pm

This is a default post with information about Cafundéu. Any extra informations can be asked, and will be answered in details. By the way, the group draw post has been updated with the names of the stadia used for each match.

Map of Cafundéu - ignore the phrase which says host cities are underlined, this is untrue (slightly bigger version here):

Country details:

Country Name:
Conventional long form: The Monopolist Empire of Cafundéu (or simply the Monopoly of Cafundéu)
Conventional short form: Cafundéu

Government type: Federal Semi-Constitutional Monarchy (current leader is Raúl I, fourth monarch of the country, who took the throne after a regency period)

Capital: Cafundó do Juta

Official language: Portuguese

Main National Holidays: Empire Day (03/01); Carnival (a whole week in February or March); Holy Day (12/10); Jaçanã Rebellion Day (22/06); Emperor's Cup Final (25/05).

Popular sports: Football (2nd: Volleyball; 3rd: Futsal; 4th: Handball; 5th: Bocce; 6th: Swimming; 7th: Basketball; 8th: Tennis; 9th: Billiards/Pool; 10th: Cock-Fighting).

Background Detail: Nothing too absurd or unreal, like aliens or monsters appearing or magical events, happens in Cafundéu. But please note that in Cafundéu you'll have to pay for almost everything. You'll have to pay for the water, food, transport, products, to walk in the road, to receive an answer about something, to complain, to thank, and many other things. Cafundéu is also looking to profit in any competition, so any country with good economy is free to invest here or buy some of our products. Drugs are prohibited and the laws are very strict. The prisons are horrible and the prisoners live in bad conditions, but they have the right to watch the games in Carandirú City for free. Cafundéu's press is also very annoying, as they'll make everything to get some news. The government is an Empire, divided in states. The Emperor has many powers, but he divides them with the Counselor-Ministers (there are 20 of them). The only Counselor-Minister that can disagree with the Emperor is the Head Counselor (which is elected and cannot be fired), as any other can be simply fired by the Emperor. Also, as Cafundéu is a big country, it has been divided in 8 states, and each state has its Governor and Senators. Elections happen in Cafundéu, and the people elect the Governors, Senators, Deputies, Mayors, Aldermen and the Head Counselor. About travelling, it's very easy to find planes going to Cafundéu. But, once inside the country, poor people will find many difficulties in travelling. To use the highways, you need to pay. To use the streets, you need to pay. About food, there are many restaurants that serve different kinds of food. But the common Cafundelense usually eats a lot of rice, beans, meat (especially this, visit a Cafundelense "churrascaria" to see it) and potato-related food. Criminality is average, with the basic idea being that there are countless criminals wandering on the cities, but also a very strong police force to stop them. You also will have to hear many beggars asking for help as you walk on the street.

Stadiums Used: as usual, the CCFM named 12 stadia in different cities of the country spread on the eight states. With the experience of using 18 stadia in the Baptism of Fire hosted together with The Macabees, the association could introduce stadiums that were not used in the previous World Cups in Cafundéu. The 12 selected are:

Arena América
City: Abadia
City Detials: this city is known for its strange division of neighborhoods. Each neighborhood has a respective leader, which represents it in the city hall. And most leaders represent a family. These families are very powerful in the city and control almost everything. The city is very big, but has some old traditions that are still unchanged. The Arena América is currently considered the 2nd best stadium of the country, just behind the Obelisco Monumental. Many people say that you can see many UFOs in the sky while in Abadia, so the media call Abadia the E.T. city.
Used by: A.F.F.
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, biggest of the State. Stadium is located near an airport, in a calm neighbourhood.
Climate: warm and wet (medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 120,000.
Infrastructure: *****

Novo Olímpico Imperial
City: São Jorge
City Details: second biggest city of the Dunboor state, this doesn't mean much. São Jorge ends not being a really important city for the country's economy or even a strategical point. But São Jorge ended becoming one of the most popular cities of Cafundéu after hosting the Fifth Winter Olympics, due to its good infrastructure for winter sports, especially the hotels and cold peaks. It became the capital of winter sports in the country, with the stadium being the one built exactly for the opening and closing ceremonies of the even, so a world class stadium to meet Olympic requirements.
Used by: São Jorge.
Size of City/Stadium Location: medium city, second biggest of the state. Stadium is located at the centre of the city, surrounded by government buildings.
Climate: cold and dry (low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 70,000.
Infrastructure: *****

Obelisco Monumental
City: Lasft
City Details: second biggest city of the country, Lasft is more beautiful than Cafundó do Juta, since it’s on the seaside. People from all around the world come to Lasft every year because of its marvelous beaches. It also is the headquarters of the CCFM, so most of the football-related decisions are made there. The stadium is the most beautiful of the country, with clean bathrooms and an organized restaurant, and the Empire doubled the number of seats for the World Cup 36, changing the appearance of the stadium completely. The number of seats was mantained this time, as it can't be expanded anymore. It’s also the capital of sports in Cafundéu, home of the country’s Olympic Committee and many other organizations associated with Sport. There is a big rivalry between Lasft and Cafundó do Juta to decide which is the richest city of the country. Host of WC final... again.
Used by: Petardos S/A.
Size of City/Stadium Location: huge city, capital of the State. Stadium is located in the centre of the city, close to the commerce zone.
Climate: hot and wet (medium rain probability).
Capacity: 300,000.
Infrastructure: *****

Estádio Erasmo Carlos Jowenguard
City: Espinal
City Details: tourists come to Espinal because of its big local parties, which happen due to the big amount of universities in the area. As the city is located on the seaside, its beaches are much visited too, although the government has some problems with violence. The city is also respected because of its social programs, giving assistance to the poorer citizens, and is the home of the republican leaders. But the country isn’t much important for businesses. The stadium is considered a good one to play in, due to the good conditions of the field. The name is an homage to the old CCFM president.
Used by: public stadium, used by União Trabalhadora and Espinalense.
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, capital of the State. Stadium is located in an industrial neighbourhood.
Climate: hot and wet (medium rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 60,000.
Infrastructure: ****

Presídio
City: Carandirú City
City Details: this city was very interesting in the past, but now it’s only used to hold prisoners. Cafundéu’s main police station is located there, too. It’s the prison city, but is very safe and has many exotic food shops. The stadium is located inside the main prison of the city, and most of the prisoners see the games, so, some players can have some problems in holding the pressure, as the prisoners usually like to shout at the players. Outside the prison, you can see some museums about the police and the prison, but you won’t find many things interesting apart from the ones Police-related.
Used by: public prison, but stadium is owned by Ranca Toco.
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, 3rd biggest of the State. The stadium is located inside the prison.
Climate: hot and dry (low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 77,500.
Infrastructure: *****

Maracatuzão
City: Dunboor
City Details: this city is big, but it isn’t too visited by tourists, because of its very cold climate. But it’s good for the industry and has the biggest mines of the country. It’s jewelry and coal factories are the most important of the country. During the winter, it snows nearly everyday in Dunboor. The supporters there like to bring musical instruments to the stadium. It also has many theaters, and good plays are held there. The stadium is perfectly round and very beautiful. Was expanded, and completely changed. So, a city with love for art and music, with many festivals being held there.
Used by: Dunboor FC.
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, capital of the State. The stadium is located in a good residential area, a typical one.
Climate: extremely cold and dry (low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 135,000.
Infrastructure: *****

Praça Maior
City: Cafundó do Juta
City Details: capital of the country, is a big metropolis, with many things to do, many clubs, good nightlife and shops, and also many points for tourism. The police is well funded. The city is the most important for the economy of the country, and for the politics too, being the centre of the government, held in the Praça de São Jorge (St. George’s Square). It is the headquarters of the Bovacaf, Cafundéu’s stock market’s main building. After the Estádio Rei Albieri Van Tocco hosted the previous 2 World Cups in Cafundéu, Praça Maior returns to have this honour, even being smaller than its opponent. This is due to the pressure of the stadium owners, Cafundó do Juta, as Clube Imperial is with difficulties. It is a 1-hour of travel away from the seaside, the city of Tijhus.
Used by: Cafundó do Juta.
Size of City/Stadium Location: huge city, capital of Cafundéu. The stadium is located in a distant neighbourhood, but easily accessible by train.
Climate: warm and wet (high rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 180,001.
Infrastructure: *****

Toca do Tatu (Bola)
City: Cidade Central
City Details: as the name says, this city is located in the centre of the country. It has one of the biggest airports of the country and has a chaotic traffic. As the city is located in an area of mountains, it has many tunnels. Its altitude is very high, so some players can have difficulties in playing in this city, as they can lose breath very fast. Central City is also a place where different cultures meet, so the scenery of the city can change suddenly, but it is a good place to buy a present, as there is a big variety of goods.
Used by: Central United.
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, biggest of the State. Stadium is located in one of the highest places of the city.
Climate: cold and dry (low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 118,666.
Infrastructure: *****

Arena Multiuso Dra. Veiga
City: Astari
City Details: another economic centre, is the home of two of the biggest companies of Cafundéu: the C-Electronics and the Uranium Kings. Businesses are constant there and the nightlife is very good. It’s called the “city of colourful lights”, as the public lights are of many colours. Its roads are very interesting too. Most games in this stadium will be played at night. It is also the city of the best casinos of the country, where many big shows and sporting events happen. The stadium can hold any kind of sport and event, and can be called just "Arena Multiuso".
Used by: public stadium, used by Metropolitano and C-Electronics. Stadium located in the centre of the city, near the main casinos.
Climate: extremely hot and wet (high rain probability).
Capacity: 100,000.
Infrastructure: *****

Parque Aquário
City: Submiria
City Details: the city of Submiria is also known as the flooded city because... well, it is always flooded. A miscalculation in the city planning led to more than half of the city being built in an area that years after would be completely invaded by the sea, forcing people to adjust themselves to it. So, even with a great part of the city underwater, it still manages to be a great city, with beautiful views and creative structures, in an aesthetical and practical way. The best sea food can be found in the town, as some small groups of fishermen and lovers of water sports. This stadium used to be known as Aquário Nacional, and even hosted WC36, but lost in importance to Cúpula Tropical. Finally they got back this popularity and will host WC52.
Used by: CR Submiria
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city, biggest of the State. Stadium is located over the water (on a whole neighbourhood which is on a platform - accessed by bridges)
Climate: hot and wet (high rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 65,000.
Infrastructure: ****

Estádio Memorial
City: Eldorado
City Details: Eldorado has always been, and still is, a nearly-big, nearly-really-important, nearly-historical, nearly-touristic and nearly-nice city. It has so much potential, but the city simply can't find a way to get a higher popularity and influence. Surely most people will be satisfied in being in this city, it has everything you'd want it to offer, but Eldorado will leave a feeling that something is missing... let's take the stadium as an example. The local team is not a biggest force in the country, so the size seems right. And, as its citizens aren't so passionate about the Eldorado club, there wasn't a need to spend so much in the infrastructure, but they nearly got that right too.
Used by: Eldorado
Size of City/Stadium Location: medium city. Stadium is located... well, in a normal place, honestly.
Climate: hot and dry (low rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 50,000.
Infrastructure: ***

Vale do Imperador
City: Haja Coração
City Details: they have some... curious places destined to strange practices... name your fetish, there'll be a place for it in Haja Coração. But there is another curiosity that makes people dislike the city: it is the birthplace of commentator Breno Gavião, hated by many people all around the world for his participation in TV broadcasts. About the stadium? It's a good one, well-built, nothing really special but nothing bad. You may find better things to do in the neighbour cities of Haja Coração, such as Santo Galvão, than in the city itself.
Used by: private stadium, used for many things... and by SC Haja Coração too
Size of City/Stadium Location: big city. Stadium is located in a dangerous neighbourhood, watch your pockets!
Climate: hot and wet (high rain probability).
Stadium Capacity: 55,000.
Infrastructure: ***

by **Cafundeu** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:29 pm

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Domingo - Ano 235 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,50

CAFUNDÉU DEFEATS DREAM TEAM OF CCFM FOREIGNERS, BUT UNCONVINCINGLY

In the end, it was really a friendly game. Surely it could be considered a challenge for the Cafundelenses to play against a team composed only of world stars, but their side had some characteristics that couldn't be forgotten: they simply didn't have team chemistry, with the few exceptions being the players who play together at either club or international level, but they were mixed with many other player, some even rivals, also most of them are also focused on the World Cup, and couldn't risk themselves too much in a commemorative match like this one. In the end, the result of 2x0 for the Monopolists sounded great for the fans, but can not be seen as true proof of the talent of this Cafundéu line-up. The opposition was strong, but not playing at full potential and organization. On the other side, to defeat a team having some of the main players of the next World Cup will do wonders for the morale of the Monopolists, with some players already commenting with a smile on their faces about the victory. With the proper competition about to start, it is good to see a motivated team going to face the difficulty of the opponents and the pressure of the fans at home.

About the match, the coach Edgar Gastão really used this last friendly as a way to test the team in its full potential, in order to rate it after so much time training. On the other side, CCFM-chosen coach Alfonso Di Angelo also selected the starting eleven considered to be the best, though we are still unsure if this was really his choice. The match was very offensive since the start. Cafundéu is an offensive National Team by nature, and the team composed of Primeirona foreigners had the majority of attack-minded players, so they couldn't play defensively. Even without chemistry, they were more dangerous in the first half. Laborious Hawk hit Melkezedeck's post twice, once after a pass by Tegan Nash and the other after a rebound from a Frank Vroon long ranged shot. Luckily for the Monopolists, the attack of the special team wasn't in a good day, with Lynch losing many balls to his marker Rodríguez, and Fresco receiving few opportunities. In the end, the result of 0x0 after the first half was a relief for the Cafundelenses, since they didn't have many chances. Only Gastão's orders could produce an increase in the team's performance.

The second half produced several changes in both teams. Two substitutions for Cafundéu and three for the CCFM team, taking advantage of the fact that there were no limitations on the number of player changes. And it seems that the conversation during halftime helped Cafundéu, since only after five minutes the team scored a goal. Marco Aurélio received the ball on the midfield and found some space to make a beautiful pass to Rosário, who then defeated Tejera with a chip shot sending the ball to the net. After the goal, we had more and more substitutions, reaching a state in which Cafundéu had made five, and the foreigners' team eight changes. At this point, some argue that the efficiency of the opponents of the Monopolists was seriously harmed, since some of the main players from that squad were already out. Easier job or not, it was only after that Cafundéu scored the second goal. Nelsinho reached the attack from the left wing and crossed the ball to the area. Kegan Diniz headed it, but the rebound went to Bino who shot from outside the area and scored. With this result came the victory in the friendly match, so friendly that no yellow cards were shown.

CAFUNDÉU 2x0 CCFM FOREIGNERS
at Obelisco Monumental, Lasft
Referee: Ornell Jordan (Cafundéu)

CAFUNDÉU: Melkezedeck; Mesquita (Matheus 45'), Nelsinho, Rodríguez and Bruno Pinto; Lewton (Bino 60'), Marco Aurélio, Da Costa (Turco 45') and Betinho (Jesus 66'); Gutiérrez and Rosário (Rudinei 72').
Coach: Edgar Gastão.

CCFM FOREIGNERS: Tejera (Taniquentar 60'); Cassou (Villalobos 45'), Maxwell (Diniz 71'), Kirkpatrick and Archer; Hawker (Kim Ha-Run 63'), Vroon (Reeves 45'), Nash (Cook 75') and Hawk; Lynch (Razov 45') and Fresco (Ahmed 71').
Coach: Alfonso Di Angelo.

Goals:CAF: Rosário 48' , Bino 84'.

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 4:17 pm

***GYEONGJU***

It's quite apparent that no one cares about what's happening in the Han Empire, and probably for a good reason too. Anyway... the Emperor decided to take a nap from all of the non-sense that was going on. After all, emperors are allowed to take naps.

...

What? What else did you want me to say? He took a nap. It's not like taking a nap is particularly exciting stuff. Not like when all of those other crazy leaders take their naps. No, the Emperor was not taking a ludicrous nap. In fact, he was having a great nap, thoroughly restful. I'm not sure what else you could imagine the Emperor would be doing. It's not like he sleep-walks...

Oh wait, he does nap-walk.

But not today, he wasn't nap-walking. In fact, he was so deeply at rest that when the Prime Minister came into the office, he wasn't certain if he should wake the Emperor.

"Pyei-ha, there is a grave matter of concern for you," he murmured. He wanted the Emperor to hear him.

Well, there was no waking him like that. So he pulled out a big aerosol canister of air and pressed the cap to release the air. Well, it was supposed to release the air, but nothing was coming out. He decided to take a quick look at the apparatus, when suddenly, the cap flew off hitting Jeong in the eye. He shrieked in pain, running around the room like a wild man. He accidentally crashed into a large porcelain vase, spreading the shards of broken pieces all over the floor. Suddenly, the eye was not the only thing in pain. All the while, the Emperor continued to nap.

At that instant, a number of guards came into the room, wondering who this freak flailing his arms around like a crazed maniac all while uttering "MY EYE!" was. After waiting a short while, they decided that he was a threat to the Emperor and removed him from the room.

And that was pretty much it until the Emperor woke up. Not a very exciting day, you know. It happens. And then you're happy because you don't have to read some tl;dr story about a guy taking a nap. Right?

*** WANG AND HWANG ***

"Great news, gents!" The Supervisor called up all of the members of the lab into the main conference room. It was in fact the first time that anyone had used the facility in over two years, with the desks and chairs covered in about 5 centimeters of dust and particulate matter. And in some dark corner, there was a nest of weevils eating away the artifical fabric in the room. But thankfully, the conference room was far too big for the number of people present, so no one noticed the weevils or the badgers. Or the elephant, now that I think about it...

"We've got some great news, gents!" the Supervisor said.

"You just said that," someone in the small crowd said, somewhat annoyed that she was taken away from her lab duties. For his part, Wang was tired of rolling Ju-Ju all over the place. A little restful meeting could provide him the opportunity to stop carrying Ju-Ju. Unfortunately, Ju-Ju was still on analyze mode.

"Keratinized schluff, proteinaceous residuces, reduced glycerides... don't you people clean the tables?!?"

"Wang, shut that thing up!"

"Yes, sir," Wang said, turning Ju-Ju's main volume on to mute.

"Now, I've got some great news, so it's going to take me some time to explain everything in detail."

"GET ON IT!" shouted that same frustrated lady analyst. Everyone gazed at her, wondering what was her problem.

"Anyway..." the Supervisor explained. "Our parent company, Dusan Applied Biology Division, has received a very generous contract from an unidentified benefactor. In essence, Dusan will be shuttling a good portion of its established DIGR corporate entity to begin a new company, Dinosaurs 'N' Awesome. The Nethertopian Government, or someone very close to them, or maybe some freak with the land title, has offered an entire island to the D'N'A company. Apparently, it's one of those Nth Islands that no one cares about anyway... Anyway...

"D'N'A is a new start-up company based in Nethertopia, with the intention of marketing and selling dinosaur pets and vehicles. Alas, the genetics program in Nethertopia lags significantly behind the rest of the world, and as a result they came to the Han Empire - in particular, Dusan - with the intention of securing our assistance. They were impressed with our dog cloning facility and our planned cloning facilities for other species for research purposes, such that they immediately offered us a lucrative contract. Dusan has been contracted by D'N'A to head up the Research and Development Department of the new bustling company, for which Dusan will retain any proprietary genetic data from our experiences with the company. In return, Dusan will maintain a business partnership with D'N'A, allowing them to market any products produced from the Research and Development adventures.

"Our objective is to create dinosaur clones, using dinosaur DNA harvested from preserved amber cores. To this end, Dusan has created a program plan, detailed in four stages. Stage One - Dusan contracted Samseong Construction to build up a secure facility on the Nth Island, now aptly named Dinosaurs 'N' Awesome. Stage Two - Dusan would commence general amplification and shotgun sequencing of the dinosaur DNA. Dusan will complete a draft genome sequence, which would be altered to make procreative manipulation a much easier task for D'N'A operations. Stage Three - upon successful completion of a draft genome sequence for a dinosaur, Dusan will commence cloning of a dinosaur using a surrogate medium. Stage Four - upon successful development of a living clone, Dusan will begin a study of the animals to determine suitability for pet and vehicle development. Those candidates deemed unworthy for commercial development will be shipped to another island nearby for live on-field studies on cloned dinosaur physiology and psychology."

"Our primary concern is the development and nurturing of high-quality products for D'N'A, not anything else. Perhaps eventually, we'll develop specially-made D'N'A food products, pet and vehicle care products, and other stuff, but legal ramifications, scientific ethics, and all of that other mambojambo we'll leave to the other divisions of D'N'A."

At that, the frustrated lady analyst rose her hand.

"Yes?"

"Isn't this a really bad idea?"

"Who knows? Ethics is not part of our business model,"

"But I mean... what sort of madman would want to have a dinosaur pet?"

"Apparently some crazed megalomaniac in Nethertopia," the Supervisor said. "Point is, we're going to be paid lots of money for this."

"I've got a question."

Instantly, the sudden feeling of dread filled everyone in the conference room. Whenever Hwang spoke, it was a moment to cherish the last moments of life. Thankfully, no one had brought any kim-chi... But with Hwang's hand raised, everyone gazed back to the back of the conference room (away from the weevils, the badgers, and the elephant), wondering what sort of question Hwang would ask.

"What is it?" the Supervisor said, oblivious to the dread flowing through the room.

"What dinosaur are we going to clone first?"

MBC Sports

Late Crash to Qualification Translates into Real World Cup Success

GYEONGJU - Don't get too riled by our predictions. We're allowed to inflate our expectations, but not that much. After all, it is the World Cup, and with the exception of one major fluke, we suck at it (not as much as we suck at the Cup of Harmony thingy).

Nonetheless, whenever you get stuck in a group with the hosts, you always must wonder if you're going to become fodder for the hosts and some random n00b who will eat your shorts. For those of you who are not in the know, the Han are drawn into Group E with hosts Cafundéu, Vephrall, and Albundania, which on paper appears to be totally easy. But we all know that paper is easy to cut with scissors, while rocks will breaks scissors. So just how the %$#^ does a paper beat a rock? In any case, it is quite the odd place for the Han to be the top ranked team in this group, We largely suspect that Cafundéu have done us a great favor by seeding themselves as the "top" seed, meaning that we're stuck in a group that should be really easy for us. And I stress again... on paper.

And if you've been watching the latest and greatest in World Cup Qualifying super implosion, the Han managed to drop 6 points in the last 5 matches, to finish uncomfortably in 2nd place. The Bears missed out on a World Cup return after Aguazul stole away the lead, and they'll be consigned to eat their opponents in the Cup of Harmony once more. Meanwhile, the Han have bigger fish to fry. Cafundéu has been one of those teams that have been impressive. They have endured a slump recently, but it happens to any great national program, and they'll hope that the home advantage for them proves sufficient to go far this year. Meanwhile, the Golden Wolves of Vephrall (editor: that's Auric Wolves, damned spellchecktranslatorthingamabob) likewise have their tempered history of... well... upsetting people mostly. I suspect it's the fact they use so many different weird and outrageous names in their rosters, many more than the godmoddish Elves of Valanora. And then we've got Albundania, who are the weakest link on paper. To be honest, I don't think they'll go far at all, but you know, the Han seem to have begun a very popular tradition of losing against the small fries, so there's no doubting that Albundania will be booking their way out of this group. After all, the Han were at one time the small fry who could (and almost did).

In the meantime, a prospective gander at the World Cup schedule and draws, and you just know that it will happen here. Again. And you've heard it from us. Again.

Valanora will defeat the Han in the Quarterfinals. On penalties. Again.

Goal Scorers -
Site Under Construction

AFF Goal Scorers
2 - Kim Il-Tae
1 - Kim Ha-Run, Song Ahn-Ji, Yi Kwan-Wan

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by **Albundania** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:00 pm

Albundania are at the World Cup Proper for the first time ever, and without waiting here, we're just going to cut right to the group:

Cafundéu (21): The hosts. Cafundéu. Depending on who you ask, we're either enormously lucky to have a host for a first seeded team, or we've been slapped in the face by having them in our group. Either way, we need to pick up a point here to have any hopes of advancing to the next round.

Albundania (41): Us. Worst ranked in the group by about 20 ranks. Every point we get will probably be chalked up as a fluke, but deep down (sometimes, VERY deep down) is a team that's more than capable for the host and Vephrall. Though the next opponents...

Daehanjeiguk (13): Shoot us now.

Vephrall (23): The other team we MUST get points against to make it. A win would be lovely, but a draw might mess things up enough to help us get through.

So, that said, what to expect from the Blue Crew? Well, we have to play Daehanjeiguk last, which is something of a relief. Cafundéu haven't exactly been up to par in their recent friendlies, so there may just be a break there for us. Vephrall will be a tight match, but one Albundania should hope to at least get one point out of. Maybe. The Blue Crew are the best they've ever been, but getting out of the group stage on their first go might just be a bridge to far for this (mostly) young squad.

by **Sarzonia** » Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:02 pm

A 2-0 loss to Ziok appeared on the surface to be absolutely meaningless. After all, Sarzonia had long since wrapped up its place among the final 32 teams in the World Cup, and it had officially clinched its spot as Group 13 champions.

The Stars were playing their depth players in an away match when acting manager James Potherington admitted he and the rest of the team playing really didn't want to be there.

"I drew the short stick," he said.

The 1-0 defeat at the hands of a Bears Armed side that will not be joining the Stars in Cafundéu, or even playing in Nethertopia, wasn't that big a deal. After all, this match was being played away. A 3-3 draw against Secristan with an obviously more engaged Potherington at the helm in the inaugural Spirit of '73 Shield in Amherst meant that no team would end up the holders as a result.

However, the Stars are approaching the upcoming World Cup hoping to use their last two matches as motivation. They lost to world No. 1 and two-time defending World Cup champions Cassadaigua in a 3-1 rout in front of a disappointed sellout crowd at Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia. They then traveled to Jhanna to play the third place playoff against Franz Braddock's longtime protegé Ganz Ijak.

In a match the Stars were clearly disappointed to be relegated to playing, the student dominated the master 3-0.

Those results certainly did not sit well with Braddock, who skipped the post match press conference at Stadii Di Bradini and has been fined $75,000 for doing so. He left goalkeepers coach Horace Sandt to answer questions.

"Disappointed? Wouldn't you be?" Sandt said, his eyes flashing anger at the reporter asking the question. "I don't think I recognise you. What's your name?"

"Tate," the reporter said. "Lavinia Tate."

"What outlet do you work for?"

"The Woodstock Daily Mail."

"Where's Travis?"

Tate drew in a sigh.

"He's at Woodstock General. His father has been admitted with advanced stages of lung cancer."

All of a sudden, the beet red colour on Sandt's face suddenly washed out and became a whiter shade of pale. He closed his eyes for a second, drew in his breath and exhaled. He opened his eyes slowly, but any veteran of the Stars dressing room could tell you they had a glassy quality to them now.

"Please extend Mr. West my, er, our deepest sympathies," he said haltingly. "I, I had no idea."

"We've got a must-win opener against Valladares," he said. "And now we've got even more incentive to win our opening match." Sandt obviously couldn't speak for Braddock or forward and team captain Matt Lynch. Or defender Ben Davis, considered the heart and soul of the team. But it was obvious what his intent was, and it was also obvious what he couldn't say, but would eventually be corroborated by Braddock and Lynch.

The Stars would dedicate their next match to Gregg West, Travis's father. Sarzonia's proceeds from the match between Sarzonia and Delaclava at Dave Wilson Stadium would go to the West family as they face the mountain of bills from fighting cancer.

All of a sudden, a troubling trend of four losses from five matches with only a draw against a hated rival wasn't all that important in the grand scheme of things.

by **Akbarabad** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:04 am

Akbarabad placed in a tough group.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): Akbarabad have been drawn into Group H in Cafundéu along with Valanora, West Zirconia and Aguazul in what promises to be a challenging group. The Tiger Eaters have never faced any of these sides before but obviously none of them can be underestimated. Valanora, of course quite apart from being the number two ranked side in the world and runners up in the last world cup have a pedigree in the Cup that is rivaled only by a handful of sides. West Zirconia qualified strongly ahead of higher ranked Jeru FC and are capable of posing problems for any side. We certainly cannot expect to just turn up and beat them. On first glance Aguazul might be expected to be the group's whipping boys , but they did well in qualifying too. They managed to finish ahead of Bears Armed, a side which held us to a 1-1 draw in our only pre-cup friendly.

All told, we can certainly feel aggrieved about this draw which has given us no favours at all. Compare our group with Group E and anybody can see the difference. The highest ranked team in Group E is ranked 13th while there are two teams ranked higher (2nd and 9th) in our group. How fair is that ? No matter, we never expected better form the World Cup establishment. The team is still confident of going past the quarterfinals this time despite the draw. Jeru FC or Sarzonia are our most likely second round opponents meaning that passage there won't be any easier then last time when we had to face the Holy Empire. Nothing to be overly concerned about though.

The Tiger Eaters begin their campaign against Aguazul in a fixture that they really have to win to ensure that we go through. In the past dropping points against lower ranked teams have been fatal for us. Remember World Cup 50 where a 2-2 draw with the Landau Institute, a team that we had twice beaten in qualification was all that it took to doom our progression to the second round ? That cannot be allowed to happen again.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:08 am

OOC - realised I forgot to put in a style modifier when posting the Empire's roster yesterday; taken care of now.

"It is a striking bargain you offer us, Mephistopheles."

"As I noted the last time we met, my dear Amelia, you credit me with powers I do not have, and do not wish to have."

"Yet you arrive here, apparently out of nowhere, to greet us for the first time in over a century, and offer my husband - and myself - the opportunity to meet his mother and his friends from an End of Time we had long since thought lost, and do this some hundred years after telling us this would be impossible. All because of this 'Dreamed Realm'."

"I have explained the science, Amelia."

"I confess it makes little sense to me."

"I concede that it must seem unusual. Again, the Dreamed Realm seems to prove many of our - by which I mean time travellers - hypotheses about how time is socially constructed by those who experience it, and that it need not be confined to a linear nature. It also seems to confirm theories long-held by myself, Mrs. Persson and Captain Barstable about the existence of multiple realities beyond our own. The Dreamed Realm potentially intersects all these realities simultaneously, and its inhabitants are not restricted by our view of time because their society has never accepted linear time as necessarily normal. As a result, we can temporarily travel beyond our current linear realities to a place where we are not confined by the restrictions that keep your palaeozoic and the End of Time permanently separated."

"I am not wholly convinced."

"You will be if you and Jherek consent to join me. I will also note that the Dreamed Realm is a Christian place."

"Christian?"

"Yes; which raises some interesting theories - though you may be slightly disconcerted to learn that they are of the Eastern Church of Constantinople and Moscow, not Anglican."

"It is better that they are Orthodox than of Rome, I suppose. But there is another problem far greater than this talk of travel between time and realities. The former we have personally experienced, and Mrs. Persson often talks of the latter with us when she visits our time. No... a greater problem is the requirement we must agree to if we are to be granted this opportunity to briefly travel through this 'realm.'"

"Ah; you mean the football."

"Yes, I mean the football. I may have once lived at the End of Time, and I may have lived here in the palaeozoic for a century or so, but I am still very much a woman of my time, and respectable women in Bromley in 1896 simply do not play football - nor do they attend football matches. I have never played football, I have no particular wish to play football, and I have no reason to believe that I would be particularly good at playing football."

"Your ability at the sport can, I assure you, be taken care of should you choose to follow me. As to the nature of football, you will not be travelling to Bromley in 1896 - we will in fact eventually travel to a place called 'Cafendeu' after we pass through the Dreamed Realm. I quite assure you that no one there will care either way."

"But I will."

"But you will also have an opportunity to achieve something tangible. And besides, Jherek wants to go."

"I know my husband - your son - wants to go. You told him he could meet his mother, his friends, again - if only for a brief time. He would leave now if we wished to."

"I know."

"And you're quite sure the Iron Orchid, Lord Mongrove, and the others will travel too?"

"I go to the End of Time next, but you know they will agree."

"Yes. It will serve as a diversion for them. A new experience; of course they will go. Well, far be it from me to be the only holdout. The children can take care of themselves, I suppose. If I must, I must; I still have a sense of duty."

"As I always hoped you would, my dear Amelia..."

by **Pays de Horreur** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:27 pm

Pays de Horreur – beyond the football, into a xblackxholex of gothic angstyness.

Despite being jocks the Pays de Horreur players were all totally gothic and into metal music. Sometimes they would listen to it on the coach before a match or in the changing room when they was getting changed.

One of the players stood out more than the others – Karim Lafayette, he had short dyed black hair, black nail varnish on, eyeliner and a plug in his left ear, he also wore thick rimmed emo glasses when he wasn’t playing football games and fingerless gloves, he always wore a studded belt and shopped in the cool shops where his friends shopped.

When his football career was finished he dreamed that he could be a rock star, like the bands that he liked who sung about tragic things like love and suicidal thoughts and always looked sexy in the magazines. He never meant to get into football but when he was in prison for killing loads of people he found he was good at it when he played in the exercise yard.

He used to make his team mates listen to cool bands on the coach because it got him psyched up for the match, they never used to like them but started to when he played them for them. His best friend was Adam Rodriguez, he was into vampires despite not being one, but they were totally real in this country because Pays de Horreur used to have one who played behind the two attackers years ago. Adam looked like he was in a band, a cool band, not an indy band, he thought he and Karim should start a band when they were finished being footballers. He liked to write songs when he was in his hotel room when they played matches away. He couldn’t play an instrument but could sing, but that didn’t matter because Karim was a really good singer with a sexy voice.

They were sat together when the group draw was made and looked at each other scared when the Babbage Islands was drawn out in the group but they knew they could win if they played really good. If they won they were going to get tattoos to remember the occasion – they already had loads of stars and swallows tattooed on their bodies, Karim had one right behind his ear.

On their way to the stadium Karim and Adam were sat together, they were listening to Karim’s mp3 player because he had just got the new Satan’s Dong of Justice album. They had an earphone each and Karim was doing air guitar to a really good riff.

Adam said to Karim “We should start a band.”

And Karim said “Yeah……………. What should we call it?”

“I don’t know” said Adam “Something really gothic.”

“Like what?” said Karim.

“My Suicidal Black Heart? Angstypoo? Demonfinger? RavenDeathDark?”

“What about xBlackxHolex?” said Karim.

“Yeah, I like it. You should play guitar though I bet you’d be really good at it.”

“Thanks” said Karim.

“I’ve already written 2 albums worth of really good songs about my ex-girlfriend who left me and got with my old best friend.”

“What a bitch.”

“Yeah but she was really fit.”

“It’s still sad.”

“Yeah I know. I was going to kill myself when she did but then I heard this song that stopped me and now it’s my favorite song. Do you want to hear it?”

“Yeah what is it?” asked Karim.

“Hold On by Black Irony.”

“Oh yeah I know that one.”

Finally the coach arrived at the stadium and the inane conversation came to an end. The little bubble of frustration building up in the rest of the players who had been unfortunate enough to be party to this conversation had finally began to subside, before the collection of killers all strapped into their comfy coach seats rose up and strangled the pair. Phew. That was close now wasn't it.

* inspired by - http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/

by **Nethertopia** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:39 pm

This, ladies and gentlemen, is an RP Cut-Off!
It's for both regions, it is.

EDIT: We have Results!

by **Queer Poco el Mono Ara** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:44 pm

Sss.O.S we’ve been drawn into a competitive group that may once again see the Whites fail to emerge from the group stage and head home early. After needing a last day miracle to reach the competition in Nethertopia the Pocoan fans are lacking confidence in both the 23 man representing their country and the man leading them.

QPeMA open their championship account with a game against fellow Rushmori’s Sargossa – who for the first time in a long while we find ourselves ranked higher than. Fingers will be firmly crossed The Whites can start the tournament brightly and take three points.

The Whites then face Schiavonia – whose island appears to have just drifted into Rushmore. We’re not sure how they do it… or whether we’d understand if we got an answer, all we know is they exploded onto the World Cup scene and have since overtaken a truck load of us in the rankings.

Finally our little team takes on 5th ranked Sorthern Northland in what will be the toughest test of the opening three games. Hopes are high that we wont get to the final game needing a result (not that that wasn’t the case in qualifying) but the likely scenario is we’re going to be staring down the barrel of a Game Over outcome.

-----

“So we’re just supposed to tear down the mansion?”

“Yep. They’re building a whole housing estate up here. People are gonna start to move to Flynn Isle over the next year or so.”

“What for? There’s nowt here now all the marijuana’s gone.”

“Fishing industry?”

“What?”

“Fishing. Is there much in the way of fishing?”

“It’s a cluster of islands miles off the coast of Rushmore, there’s bound to be fish out here.”

“Right…”

“You said fishing. Don’t look at me like I’m mental.”

Back in Queer Poco el Mono Ara Keith Flynn was facing a lengthy jail sentence and was blissfully unaware his island haven had been seized by the government. He’d always worried something like this would happen and but was a meticulous planner who had several contingency plans should such an outcome occur.

Being a multi-millionaire he had plenty of cash to throw about at crazy ideas. Exploding pandas, robotic fleas and samurai artichokes had all been bandied about, but Mr. Flynn had something else. A contingency plan to back-up them all.

As he sat in the back of the transport van heading from court to East Ardsley prison a wry smile crept across his face. He may be going down, but so too was the island.

by **Sarzonia** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:18 pm

Once you get to the group stage of the World Cup, style points don't matter nearly as much as points in the table.

Sarzonia may have struggled mightily in matches that didn't mean anything, and in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy semifinals, which clearly mean a lot to the team, but in a match that actually counts toward reaching their goal of a World Cup trophy, the Stars finally secured that elusive three points and a 1-0 victory over Valladares to open play in Group G.

The Stars (1-0-0) were very clearly playing for something far greater than three points, however, as manager Franz Braddock revealed he was late to the press conference because "I just got off the phone with Gregg."

Gregg West, the father of Woodstock Daily Mail beat reporter Travis West, was being moved to the Shinging Light Hospice Care Centre three blocks from Woodstock General Hospital. He is in the late stages of lung cancer, and Travis West stayed in a vigil with his father.

"We get so wrapped up in the football that we sometimes forget what's really important," Braddock said. "This is yet another reminder of how precious, how fragile life is."

Matt Lynch may have scored the only goal of the match in the 33rd minute, but the Stars forward and team captain pointed to the man who provided him and the rest of his team inspiration. It's not very often that a goalkeepers coach who last donned a Sarzonia kit many World Cups ago is on the receiving end of an on-pitch salute from a forward, but that was what happened after Lynch's marker.

"I give Horace a lot of credit for calling this to our attention," Lynch said. At his behest, the team wore black armbands with white lettering saying "For Gregg."

Sarzonia's next match is against Jeru F.C., a match the team said they would go in looking to win.

"I don't want to hear about the possibility of getting a draw in that match," goalkeeper Cody Taylor said. "Anything less than a win is not going to do us any favours."

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:31 pm

Princess Helena Troi Dallas looking at bill and complaining to Sister Kelly and Sister Kate

Helena: Look at all these bloody taxes, I mean ... I'm paying more taxes than for the item itself.
Kate: Yeah, I can't afford to buy anything around here.
Kelly: I'm out of money already.
Helena: Call me a socialist leftie commie greenie pinkie cheapskate ... but this is stupid.
Kate: We're in a foreign country, I guess we have to live with it.
Kelly: I can't even buy food around here.
Helena: Good thing I don't have a credit limit on my card.
Kelly: It's fine for you Princess, us Nuns don't have money to burn.
Kate: Can I borrow some money?
Helena: Hey, ask the coach. I've got enough problems with relatives borrowing money off me. Anyway, you two still owe me money.
Kate: Oh yes, we do.
Kelly: Woops.
Helena: Good thing this pure capitalism business isn't in Jeruselem. We'd have Nuns selling their bodies on the streets for food money.
Kate: We're pretty good at that too.
Kelly: Hang on, isn't that the reason why we're off the streets and we are Nuns.
Kate: Oh yes, but hey.
Helena: Enough of that you two.
Kelly: It's great you're back in defense Kate.
Helena: She hasn't changed much have ya?
Kate: No, Sister Kate is back being ... Sister Kate.
Helena: Still, a draw against the 19th seed isn't good enough.
Kelly: We are the lowest ranked seed in the group.
Helena: We're the highest ranked lowest ranked seed for all groups.
Kate: Good thing those Holy folks drew with the Millionaires.
Helena: Actually, I'd prefer the Holy Empire to have won.
Kelly: So what happens if we all draw next round?
Helena: I don't want to think about that, I'm out for a win in one of the next two games. I don't want think about losing.
Kate: People don't expect us to make it.
Helena: Well, we'll see. The Princesses aren't here to make up numbers.
Kelly: It was hard work today, we could have been a lot worse off.
Helena: Well, yes. At least those drunks Jeru FC did well against the doctors.
Kate: I've got sore eyes.
Kelly: From what, looking at hot guys?
Helena: I tell ya, Delaclava's football strip is hard on the eyesight. Too bloody colourful.
Kate: I'd wear sunnies but I can't afford it.
Kelly: Helena, I'd like borrow money too.
Helena: I'm not a bloody f**king bank, don't ask me
Kate: I'd ask Shay, but she's Jewish and charge lots of interest.
Kelly: Yeah

by **Daehanjeiguk** » Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:15 pm

***GYEONGJU***

It was another busy day in the office. Yeongmu didn't quite remember this much paperwork before the exile, but now that he was back... it appeared that the only thing he really seriously did was just paperwork. Perhaps it was this "democracy" thing.

"Pyei-ha," the Prime Minister said, ushering himself into the office amidst some rushing guards and the secretary. The Emperor was more concerned about the eye patch and the bandaged hand. "I've got some grave news."

"What happened to your hand?" the Emperor asked.

"I... ummm..." Jeong quickly pondered the outcome if he admitted to breaking the porcelain vase. "I don't remember."

"What about the eye thing?"

"Not sure about that either. Anyway, I've got some news that you really need to hear."

"Okay," the Emperor said, putting away his pen and papers. He could use a real break from paperwork. "What's the problem?"

"Well, this comes from the Ministry of Domestic Affairs via Dusan. Apparently, they've gone ahead and started a bunch of genomics projects, DNA and stuff like that... Three months ago, they asked for permission to analyze the genetic information from the Emperor Gojong, in the hopes of establishing a formal Imperial geneaology. After all, there are sons and daughters who have dispersed from the Court, now living around the Empire. They used Y-STR information to generate a haplotype map... whatever that's supposed to mean."

"Okay... that's all technical details. What's the point?"

"They've finished the project," Jeong said, with a bit of a stutter. "They've found 350 individuals who have the possibility to become rightful claimants to the Imperial throne."

That very remark surprised Yeongmu. All of this time, he'd been wondering if he could find an heir. He was fearful that he would be the end of the line. Now... now he has 350 pretenders?

"Do they know?" the Emperor asked.

"Dusan felt that you should be aware of the situation. They haven't published any of the reports yet."

The Emperor stood up from his chair, circling around and pondering what the best course of action would be. If this report were to be published, the Imperial Throne might be in serious jeopardy. After all, how could he fend off the challenge of genetic brothers and sisters (cousins, in essence) to lay claim to his throne? 350 Emperors, in the land of one Emperor. That just wouldn't do. But there had to be some way to make things work out.

"Minister Jeong," he said at length. "Contact Dusan. I need a private consultation."

"We've already made the arrangements, Emperor," Jeong replied. "Your plane is awaiting you."

*** DINOSAURS 'N' AWESOME ***

And in the miracle of time-dilation technologies, Wang and Hwang found themselves standing in front of their first new product, sitting behind about 1093 centimeters of plexiglass. The Supervisor stood right behind them, with a smile from ear to ear.

"Congrats, gents. You've just cloned a Parasaurolophus."

Wang nodded. "I still don't know how I got selected for this job. I mean, I just started at the lab. Couldn't they have picked someone with more experience to do this?"

"Dusan said they were looking for young recklessly ambitious boys and girls. And you and Hwang fit the bill perfectly. Not to mention you're the only person who can talk to that darned machine."

Ju-Ju apparently was incensed at that remark. "Sarcasm, pretentious wit, feigned intelligence... you are the weakest link." Apparently, Ju-Ju is a metaphysical gas chromatography device as well.

"Anyway," the Supervisor said, "it's time for the company to take their first new product on the road. Test it out."

"Wait, didn't you say that we were supposed to test the creatures first? To make sure that they're... good?"

"Nature is the world's biggest laboratory, Wang," the Supervisor said. "Besides, some directors from the D'N'A board said that they knew the best place to test these duck-billed dinosaurs."

MBC Sports

Wherrrrrrrrrrrre Therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's a Tax, Therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Brrrrrrrrrreno Gavião to Irrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrritate Us

SUBMIRIA - Two goals from Kim Ha-Run electrified the fans at Aquário Nacional to put the Han on course for a thrilling 2-1 win over Vephrall. Although the match certainly lacked the fluid attacking motion, the goals in action were splendid and second to none. Lii was in a speculatively complimentary mood. "Neither team is going to be upset with this result, although I'm pretty sure Mr. Clayton would have preferred to get some points."

And once again, it appeared that Vephrall's greatest strength was also its greatest weakness: ridiculous names. It only took Prarbens Izorigor twenty seconds to find the frame of the goal, and after a bit of confusion on the Han defense defending this character, Vephrall found the net through Woshash Contrope's header. MBC commentators spent the next fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to pronounce Izorigor's name, just so they could explain how that other dude managed to score. And it remained 1-nil for the majority of the match, up until the 37th minute, when a defensive lapse allowed Kim Ha-Run to peel away from the defenders and to SLAM the ball into the top left corner past Pevonsont Irupe. And just right then, Breno Gavião must have come into the announcer's deck, because the loudspeakers roared with a resounding "GOOOL a Kim Ha-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRun!" He then proceeded to explain how Kim Ha-Run scored the goal, placing every emphasis on the "r"s where unreasonably possible. It appeared to be the only time he was in the office, and understandably so, because the crowds soon thereafter started to shout "CALA BOCA GAVIÃO!" Maybe it's some sort of cult fan thing in Cafundéu...

Anyway, the two teams went even 1-1 at the interval, and things looks set for an even draw at the close. It was at that moment Lii opted to spurn all three of his changes at the same time. People thought it was a time-wasting measure, but surprisingly three fresh feet turned the match upside-down, with Yi Kwan-Wan, Shin Seok-Gyo, and Pak Sha-Bi pulling around the dead lead feet by force. The Vephrese camp looked in shambles for a while, trying to figure out how to combat the sudden influx of vitality. But the moment was all that was apparently needed, as An Pil-Rip combined with Pak Sha-Bi - earning his first ever cap after virtually leading the U21 team to a 3rd place finish at the recent DBC - to set up Kim Ha-Run on a daring run into the box. Pevonsont Irupe really had no answer for this turn of events, especially after the Cafundelense announcers gave up trying to pronounce the Vephrese players' names, with the sole exception of Bunsars Ock, whose name was presumably the simplest on the Vephrese roster. Of course, they mispronounced it horribly (or perhaps they just said it funny, I don't know - I'm not Vephrese), such that Ock was totally and utterly frustrated by their every utterance. And as Pak Sha-Bi took him on, the announcers kept saying what eventually translated as "Pak dribbles past Ock". After the 5th time, Ock turned up and gazed at the announcers' box - taking his mind off the ball for just that one moment (the announcers then said, "Ock's looking at us") and letting Pak slip past him. With Pak unhinged on the right side of the pitch, he crossed low past the defenders and the goalkeeper, finding Kim Ha-Run open and free. Here, he demonstrated the cool frame of mind that some formerly totally insane man turned towards the sane mind of a seasoned football professional to tap the ball into an empty net. The crowd cheered him on as he grabbed the second goal for the Han, with some oddly placed Cafundó do Juta fans screaming Kim Ha-Run's name for the remaining ten minutes.

And so a 2-1 win. It's better than our predicted LOLCRUSH 4-nil loss, but going into our match against the hosts - who won their match 2-1 as well - it will be curious how the Han pull out of this match. A win will go far to putting the Han into the Second Round, while a loss will put them back into Limbo. Meanwhile, a 2-nil loss to West Zirconia has put Valanora's hopes of facing the Han in the quarterfinal penalty-kick fixture down by a considerable degree. 2-2 draws all around in Group F has left everyone on the same page, while the other co-hosts Nethertopia pronounced a defining 3-nil win over Krytenia.

And in the immortal words of all those Cafundelense fans, Cala Boca Gavião.

Goal Scorers -
Site Under Construction

AFF Goal Scorers
2 - Kim Il-Tae
1 - Kim Ha-Run, Song Ahn-Ji, Yi Kwan-Wan

Comment on this post:
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by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:40 am

OOC - no! no! Too soon for matchday 1! I haven't finished set-up yet! Thank God we have a couple of days between matchdays in the finals... Secristan, if you end up RPing the actual match first, knock yourself out.

The arrival of Lord Jagged of Canaria at the Duke of Queens most recent party was, by common consent, the single most interesting thing to happen at the End of Time since, well, Lord Jagged had left. If truth be told, the Duke of Queens was somewhat taken aback at being upstaged. He had just finished displaying his collaboration with Argonheart Po on the topic of "Food Through the Ages", and at the precise moment Lord Jagged had appeared, he had been displaying a dish known as a 'hot dog', which had apparently been popular in the archaic city district after which he took his name. This dish apparently consisted in smothering an animal known as a 'sausage dog' with a sauce made from a yellow fruit called the 'tomato mustard', and then placing it between slices of the buttocks - or 'buns' - of a larger dog before roasting the prepared canines over an open flame. All had agreed that this was a remarkable meal, easily superior to Lord Mongrove's banquets on the theme of 'culinary delights of 65th century plague empires', and the Duke of Queens had been on the verge of unveiling his piece de resistance - a frozen dish made from a white liquid, and apparently called an 'I Scream' due to the reaction it inspired in first-time consumers when Lord Jagged had walked into the hall.

Yet even the Duke of Queens set aside his concerns when Lord Jagged had announced his news... that he had found an alternate dimension where all residents of the End of Time could travel forthwith, though not permanently; that in this dimension they would maintain all the powers they had in the End of Time, but would need no power rings (something which was of particular interest to Brannart Morphail); and that they would in this new dimension meet Jherek Carnelian and his wife Amelia for the first time in a century or more.

At this news, Jherek's mother the Iron Orchid (at that particular moment a particular luminous shade of blue, and surrounded by some cherubim she had summoned up to carry her champagne), insisted that they leave immediately. Though she was eventually persuaded to at least wait long enough for those who wished to travel to prepare themselves for the journey, she seemed most impatient. Lord Mongrove stated that little good could come of this venture, but he was very much in the minority, and some commented afterwards that Werther de Goethe had seemed almost... excited - something which was virtually unprecedented. Gaf the Horse in Tears stopped being a goat for the occasion, while Bishop Castle proclaimed a special blessing in the name of the Lord Gandhi Buddha for the occasion. Even more remarkable was the appearance of a featureless metal box apparently containing Lord Shark the Unknown, who had not left his hidden dwelling for some six decades.

But even Lord Mongrove was prepared to admit that the parties at the End of Time had lost a certain je ne sais quoi since Jherek's departure, and grudgingly admitted that he was looking forward to see what new fashions his old friend might have developed in the palaeozoic since their last meeting.

True, Lord Jagged had muttered something about 'playing a sport as a thank you', 'travelling to another land called Cafundeu', and 'facing the Millionaires in the first match'. But these words made little sense to the group that assembled at the portal-like arch watched over by a black-clad man that Lord Jagged referred to as "Father Alexander" (Werther immediately modelled his clothing after Father Alexander, also growing himself a jet-black beard to match).

No doubt they would make more sense soon enough....

by **Sargossa** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:55 pm

A few months back there were two stories that dominated the media outlets of Sargossa and her territories, the crisis rapidly brewing down in Santazuela and a certain football match.

Santazuela, as i'm sure everybody knows, is a Sargossan colony located on continental Rushmore. A colony with a tempestuous relationship with its rulers in Soluca. The clamour for autonomy from Sargossa is nothing new but just recently the colony erupted into violence as government and military facilities were targeted by a seemingly growing insurgency. José Antonio Jarque, leader of the largest 'Free Santazuela' groups and principal figurehead of the separatist movement blamed the attacks on splinter groups within his own organisation in cahoots with the Garza crime syndicate. Jarque proposed a sit-down with colonial governor Enrique Meza to sort the issue out once and for all.

Despite explicit orders from the Colonial Ministry in Soluca to arrest Jarque on the spot Meza saw the chance to make his name as the man who tamed Santazuela. The two men met and Meza agreed to all of the smooth talking Jarque's 'suggestions'. Including the withdrawal of Sargossan military forces from the eastern areas of the colony, those most affected by the violence, and the release of certain undesirables rounded up by the subsequent security crackdown. Meza proudly reported back to Soluca that he had taken the first steps in calming the situation. Meanwhile Jarque hotfooted it back to his stronghold in the eastern city of Curamunga, declared himself de facto President of a newly liberated Santazuelan nation and called on the whole nation to rise up against their Sargossan overlords.

There would be no grand uprising, Santazuelans largely being just as politically apathetic as their Sargossan and Azulan cousins, but much of the north eastern quadrant of the colony was lost. President Delgado declared a state of emergency in the colony and across the Archipelago the public were treated to media footage of thousands of the finest examples of Sargossan soldiery boarding sea and air transports for the trip south.

Fortunately there was a rather large football match to distract the nation's sports hungry populace as the race to Cafundéu and Nethertopia drew to close with second placed Sargossa facing third placed Burchadinger in a winner take all encounter in Goza. The Corsairs had held second place for the majority of qualifying but dropped points in Zoik and Augarundus coupled with a strong Burchadinger charge had given Die Adler the chance of overhauling Sargossa right at the death. Or at least until the boys in the darker blue smacked four past the visitors to ensure a place at their second successive finals. All of which ended a thoroughly decent campaign for Gabriel Vizcarra's side in which the Corsairs lost just two of twenty two games, both against group winners Sarzonia.

Flash forward a few months and there are two stories that are dominating the media outlets of Sargossa and her territories, the continuing conflict in Santazuela and a certain football match.

Down in the colony the State sponsored media reported on separatist attacks on schools and hospitals while the free press reported on vicious reprisals on innocent civilians perpetrated by Sargossan troops. All the while the forces of the new military governor (Meza having returned to Soluca, in a diplomatic bag) General Carlos Medrano advanced slowly yet steadily towards Curamunga, now rechristened Libertad by the rebels.

Fortunately there was a World Cup for the sports hungry populace to focus on. Vizcarra's boys, handily drawn in neighbouring Nethertopia, went into the tournament full of confidence after a 4 - 0 mauling of perennial bogey side Somewhereistonia and in Peregrinus City the Corsairs recorded an historic win. Yes, at the seventh time of asking Sargossa bagged an actual honest to goodness world cup victory. The fact that it came against Rushmori rivals Queer Poco el Mono Ara only sweetened the deal. And there's still plenty to play for as next up is a tie with Sorthern Northland who edged out the Corsairs by the odd goal in seven two years ago and once inflicted the nation's heaviest ever defeat. Then it's the small matter of an encounter with Schiavonia, a side that humiliated Sargossa in the qualifiers for the historic fiftieth World Cup. Game on.

by **Cafundeu** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:30 pm

LINHA DE FUNDO – THE DAILY FOOTBALL NEWSPAPER
The number one source for football news in Cafundéu... or at least we believe we are

World Cup 52 – full coverage
article written by Sérgio Abergen, with comments from TV live broadcasts, and interviews by reporter Oséas Coutti

SATISFACTORY RESULT IN FIRST MATCHDAY

Rosário attempts to dribble an opponent

Everything was prepared for the party involving the first match of the Cafundelenses in another World Cup at home. Once again, that wasn’t going to be the opening game of the entire competition, since that one was already played between Nethertopia and Krytenia. Anyway, that was the first match in Cafundéu, and the Monopolists were wishing to deliver the fans a good performance after a long time without official matches. The opponent ended being, in the eyes of the experts, the best possible for such a start: Albundania is the lowest-ranked nation in the Cafundelense group, and the necessary win in the first game would not only motivate the players but also satisfy the supporters, who had filled the Obelisco Monumental in Lasft, the biggest stadium of the nation. So, people were expecting, were hoping to party.

Of course the Cafundelenses were exciting with the beginning of the World Cup at their home soil, and the noise close to the stadium was immense, with people singing, shouting and making loud comments about the clash against Albundania that was about to happen. But there was worry going on. The memory of the previous World Cup in Cafundéu, the horrible experience lived by the Monopolists of failing to reach the Round of 16 even being the highest-ranked nation in the group and playing at home. Surely no one would like to see that being repeated, and the ghost of such a possibility tormented the supporters and even the members of the team. So, the real commemoration only happened after Cafundéu was able to defeat their opponents, with a small scoreline but in an efficient performance against a side that proved to be dangerous during the qualifiers.

THE FIRST HALF: the match started slow, even with both teams having offensive strategies. No one wanted to risk too much in such an important game. Albundania’s players were conscious of the danger of playing against the hosts in front of thousands of their supporters, and to the fact that their opponents were the favourites in that game also because of ranking. As for the Cafundelenses, the worry was in the fact that a slip in that match could be the repeat of the bad experience years ago, the least desirable thing in that moment. So, only after some ten minutes both sides got the courage to attempt more offensive moves. Cafundéu was the first, when an interesting exchange of passes between Marco Aurélio and Rosário put the Rio Bonito attacker with only the goalkeeper to beat... but Kellogg saved it superbly.

Albundania then had some good chances, but unfortunately for them their attempt to take the advantage hit them on their backs. A crossing directed towards Ibanez was intercepted by Rodríguez, who quickly linked it to Nelsinho. Seconds after, the ball was already with the attacker Gutiérrez, who received the pass that caught the entire opponent defence unprepared. Just one dribble, and he was in front of the goalkeeper, to shoot and score the Cafundelense goal, to make the entire stadium jump in excitement. The goal sent Cafundéu ahead, with the confidence that the offensive sector was doing a good job. And the coach Edgar Gastão let the team attack more, not holding the players’ wishes, even with Albundania still well in the match, ready to take an opportunity to score at the first mistake made by the host team.

But this didn’t happen, with Cafundéu being able to control well the possession and having more control of the situation. And, before Albundania could reach a better opportunity of scoring, the Monopolists were able to increase their lead in Lasft. It all started with a good tackle by Lewton, who was the king of the midfield, not letting anyone pass through his marking. Controlling the ball, he made a good pass to Da Costa, who couldn’t control it well, and let the ball get away from him. Fortunately, Gutiérrez got it, and with a direct shot surprised the goalkeeper and sent the ball to the net. With this, Cafundéu’s control got firmer, even with Albundania having some flashes of danger, during which the Cafundelense defenders had to do their best. On the other side, the Monopolists couldn’t repeat the good moves that resulted in goals, and the first half ended with the 2x0 scoreline.

BRENO GAVIÃO'S MOMENT 1 (Gutiérrez’s first goal): “Albundania once again goes to the attack, trrrrrying to prrrrress Cafundéu in their defensive arrrrrea. This time it is Therrrrriot on his rrrrright wing, attempts a crrrrrrossing... good anticipation by Rrrrrrodrrrrríguez, who contrrrrrols well the ball and alrrrrready sets up a good link to Nelsinho on the left... this looks prrrrrromising, Nelsinho is rrrrready to explorrrrre the opening prrrrroduced on the wing by Therrrrriot’s offensive move, and he has an open space ahead! Rrrrrruns forrrrrwarrrrrd... and what a grrrrreat pass to Gutiérrrrrrrrez, sends the attacker to rrrrrrun after the ball while Albundania’s defence is disorrrrrrganized! And he gets it, sadly has no one to pass the ball to, so he needs to prrrrroceed alone... nice drrrrrible over Nike, now has a chance against the goalkeeper... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAL! For Cafundéu! Gutiérrrrrrrrez, number nine! And now Cafundéu has one goal, while Albundania has zerrrrro! Do not trrrrrreat your car’s engine badly... like you need to drrrrrink well, it does too! Therrrrreforrrrrre, only give Ignição gasoline, the best fuel for your car!”

Albundania attacker closed down by Cafundelense defenders

THE SECOND HALF: with the difference of two goals built before halftime, the teams were in opposite situations to enter the second half. Cafundéu was having a fine game, knowing how to balance its very offensive football with the good ball control and marking on the midfield, and the path was the right one. Therefore, the coach made no changes in the squad. On the other side, Albundania needed to quickly recover in order to still have a chance to make a better result in the match. They weren’t playing badly, but even then the team wasn’t efficient enough, and needed to reach the attack with more strength. So, their coach added one more attacker to the line-up, making this single substitution. Due to this, Albundania was the most offensive side during the second half, but the Cafundelenses were already expecting such an attitude.

While Albundania attempted to press hard the Monopolists, they still couldn’t reach the opponent area often. The defensive midfield of Cafundéu was having a perfect match, with both Nico Lewton and Bino stopping nearly all the moves created by the ones in light blue shirts. Marco Aurélio also offered assistance many times to the defensive sector of the squad, always ready to set up quick counterattacks, looking for the third goal. In one of these moves, the Monopolists nearly got there. Marco Aurélio was able to take the ball and pass it quickly to Rosário, who then made a good pass to Gutiérrez. He prepared himself and shot, but Ulbrich jumped in front of him to block the shot and protect his goal. With the time passing and Cafundéu being able to hold well the offensive moves of Albundania, the supporters got more confident and couldn’t stop singing.

The substitutions made by Edgar Gastão were more to rest important players and bring some fresh legs, wishing to keep the good defensive performance while hoping for a chance to counterattack. At that point, many supporters started to criticize the Cafundelense strategy, thinking that the team didn’t need to retreat and play more defensively, as more goals could be scored. But, in the last minutes of the match, the Albundania squad showed them they were wrong in their judgement. In two attacks, they did what they couldn’t the entire match. In the first move, Inieta made a wonderful pass to Ibanez, who dribbled Bruno Pinto and defeated Melkezedeck with a lob shot. Fortunately for the Monopolists, Lewton appeared to clear the ball out of danger before it entered the goal. Two minutes after, they didn’t have the same luck: a long shot by Winger surprised the goalkeeper, and it was a goal for Albundania. Their only one, and the last of the match, ending with a Cafundelense victory.

BRENO GAVIÃO'S MOMENT 2 (Winger’s goal): “And we arrrrre rrrrreaching the last moments of the firrrrrst match of the Monopolists in this Worrrrrld Cup, and with a victorrrrrry of our team! That is surrrrrely going to be a good starrrrrrt for our herrrrrroes in their purrrrrrsuit for morrrrre victorrrrries at home... and now it is Albundania with the ball, contrrrrrrolling at the midfield... they had a good chance some minutes ago, but it seems to be late for a full rrrrrecoverrrrry rrrrright now. Ball with Mawrrrrrz, good movement towarrrrrrds the wing, but makes a short pass ahead to Winger, who rrrrrreturrrrrrned back to rrrrrreceive the ball. Has some space ahead of him, Lewton was marrrrrking Inieta. It will be difficult for him to invade the Cafundelense arrrrrrea, the Monopolists arrrrre well prrrrreparrrrred... he will attempt the long shot... and look at the goal! Goal for Albundania! And the goalscorrrrrer is Winger! Now Cafundéu has two, but Albundania one! Want to send a gift to that frrrrriend you hate or your mother-in-law? Give them a trrrrrip to Estrrrrrresse Intenso! Good prrrrrices at VPM Trrrrrravel Serrrrrrvices!”

OSÉAS COUTTI – INTERVIEWS: a satisfactory performance and result by the Cafundelenses, even if Albundania scared the supporters a little close to the ending of the game. So, surely the coach and all the players were happy with the result, and made their comments to the media smiling. As the tradition commands, the coach Edgar Gastão was the first to talk, and he said: “Our objective today was to take this victory in front of our fans. These three points are going to be crucial in order to decide the group, and had to be the only acceptable result today. So, a good start and we hope this be a sign that more good things are coming.” Player of the match Nico Lewton commented about his great defensive football: “After we scored, we knew that Albundania would attempt to press our team and attack harder, as they needed to go after the result. So I focused only on stopping their players, leaving the offensive duties to my partners. I guess that’s why I did a good job, I could concentrate myself in a single function.”

VÁLTER PALIAÚNA'S COMMENTS: “Everyone here is commenting about how great it was the first result of Cafundéu in this World Cup... even Breno Gavião, who is suffering from constant attacks from the supports at the stands shouting “Cala Boca”, just like it happened in the Daehanjeiguk match... he seems to be the only one that doesn’t hear this, I hear this since World Cup thirty-two. But, returning to talk about the Cafundéu game, I didn’t see anything special about that result. It was the expected, it was the necessary if we wanted to do anything good in this competition. Honestly, the attacks that we suffered near the end of the game had to be a lesson that our team is still vulnerable, and we may not have a better luck in the next matches. So, it is time for we to not praise the squad in an endless way. I will even today do something rare in my comments: I will applaud the team for the victory. But only for a second.”

Gutiérrez shoots to score

CAFUNDÉU 2x1 ALBUNDANIA

Place: Obelisco Monumental, Lasft.
Time: 21:30 Cafundelense time (of course the same of local time).
Climate: clear, 22ºC.
Referee: Randall Verment (Schiavonia).
Assistants: Esmus Bison (Schiavonia) and Leopold Ivano (Delaclava).
Most sold product after water: soft drinks.
POTM: Nico Lewton (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Melkezedeck; Mesquita, Nelsinho, Rodríguez and Bruno Pinto; Lewton, Bino (Turco 77’), Marco Aurélio and Da Costa (Betinho 70’); Rosário (Rudinei 62’) and Gutiérrez.
Coach: Edgar Gastão.

ALBUNDANIA: Kellogg; Theriot, Ulbrich, Nike and Walls; Mawrz, Konig (Orb 68’), Webb (Winger 45’) and Inieta; Silva (Belsh 81’) and Ibanez.
Coach: Jose Ricardo.

Goals:CAF: Gutiérrez 19’/28’.
ALB: Winger 86’.

Line-up for the next game: Melkezedeck; Matheus, Nelsinho, Rodríguez and Bruno Pinto; Lewton, Bino, Marco Aurélio and Betinho; Rosário and Gutiérrez.
Coach: Edgar Gastão.

Referee: Marcus Apolloni (Secristan).

by **Landau Institute** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:37 pm

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Football
Secretary of Media Reports

MATCH AGAINST JERU FC
Desperation and Loss

The Landau Institute reached Cafundéu willing to make all that country's citizens sad: after all, they knew that every goal scored by the Institute team would be badly seen by the local population, due to the rivalry between Cafundéu and Estresse Intenso. Unfortunately for the Doctors, Professors and patients, the first match involved a very difficult challenge against the second best second seed which was placed in the second spot of the second last group in the second host country in order of grouping in the World Cup. And, worse for them, the opponents didn't want to be the second of the match in goals scored, defeating the Institute team. The loss against Jeru FC is surely going to be a huge blow for the medicine professionals, who were hopeful in reaching the Round of 16 this time, but now will have to do a good job against Sarzonia and Valladares to complete this objective. And we, the responsibles for revealing the football-related news of the Landau Institute, were there to follow the match, after visiting some cassinos in the sinful city of Astari. A horrible day, since we lost both the match and our salaries on the poker tables.

Things already started badly for the Institute doctors, as they were not only against the talented Jeru FC players, but also against practically the entire stadium. The few people supporting the Institute were doctors from all around the world, who felt the necessity to defend the ones who work with the same thing they do. But they weren't able to give enough motivation to the Landau Institute squad, which suffered a goal before the tenth minute of the match. And they simply couldn't recover from that blow: during the whole game, they were unable to tie the match, much less taking the lead. Professor Abrahim hardly touched the ball, and when he did he handballed it, receiving a yellow card, one that should be given due to bad performance instead. Doctor Alien tried to use his superpowers in order to score a goal, but he seems to not have the same strength of before. After a crossing, he was defeated by an opponent defender on an aerial dispute. If we think that he was thirty centimetres taller than the other guy, you see that he was also playing very badly. The only goal scored by the Institute members came thanks to Doctor Gadescu, who managed to conclude an individual play with a very strong shot. Unfortunately, at that point Jeru FC had already scored twice, and would score one more against a hopeless Professor Maldonado before the end of the match. So, with the best players of the Landau Institute underperforming, the result couldn't be other: a sad loss for the Institute.

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Other Stuff
Secretary of Cards & Board Games

THE NATIONSTATES WORLD CUP TAROT
#22- 1093

Now to another element that usually appears in discussions surrounding the NationStates World Cup, and many times when the people involved don't know what else to say, so they keep the conversation running through the use of some pun or joke, and in many of those the number 1093 appears. But surely there must be something else in this for it to be represented in a tarot card. Of course there is, and this together with the doubt that this number brings to many newcomers to the World Cup backstage during their first moments compose the main characteristics of this card, the ones that will be used for predictions. "#22- 1093" brings also the idea of order, related with rules, as after all this number is also related with a specific rulecode. Also, this idea of organizating things is also linked with the basic fact that 1093 is a number, and therefore the creator of this tarot deck thought it would fit the idea of numbers representing ordering, don't ask me why. The other meaning of this card, as already commented, is the one related with the confusion that the presence of this number produces in many people who hear this, knowing that something is lacking for him/her to understand. So, the concept of receiving an information that needs an extra knowledge to be fully understood. And to end all these basic characteristics of this card so we can quickly go on to the important part which are the readings, we also have the omnipresence of this number during the discussions, which in fact doesn't lead to many interpretations, as the readers don't know how to use it well yet.

Now to the design of this specific card, which will surely leave all of you readers disappointed with the lack of creative ideas of the one responsible for its drawing. After thinking for weeks about drawing something to represent "#22- 1093", the man fainted due to the lack of sleep, and decided to give up in his mission. Therefore, in the end he decided to just write the number in some fancy font on a light blue background, and that's what became the card's design. Nothing inventive, and nothing more than the pure number.

Family - now, is there any way to find a close relation between such an element of the NationStates World Cup universe and family relationships? Well, of course, since the linking is generated through basic characteristics and concepts, not direct references to the thing represented in the card. As in this case, the most used meaning is the one representing the necessity of organization and creation of rules to avoid conflicts inside the family environment. Perhaps this may be just a warning saying that such rules will be necessary in a near future, or the proof that things are bad enough for such a ruling. Another possibility is the interpretation that a certain issue will become the most important on every conversation involving family members, one that needs to be addressed all the time.

Finances - as for money, the basic meaning of this card is that a person needs to be following close the numbers: the amount of money that you earned and how much you are spending on the month, to see if you are respecting the basic rules of controlling your economies. Basically, this card is all about numbers in the financial area: for someone involved in stock market, this card will mean the importance of taking a look at the numbers from the negotiations, same with anyone involved in an important company. But of course the readers always find some alternative interpretation for the card. In this case, it involves something strange on your account, one that you simply cannot explain: basically, a mystery in the middle of the numbers you ought to take a look.

Love - the basic meaning of "#22- 1093" in the area of romantic relationships is the presence of things still unknown to you about this relationship. This is usual in people who recently got involved together, so the readers will never use this interpretation if someone is married. It talks directly with the fact that your partner knows of something you aren't sure of its meaning, which may mean that: or your partner is holding something from you, or that he/she has some knowledge advantage over you. Another possibility of interpretation is directed at single people: remember that person who is always by your side, following every of your steps and annoying or impressing you with his or her omnipresence? Well, that one may be your next romantic interest.

Football - we have stadia and football clubs that involve 1093 in their names or in their history, but it is not about them that the card "#22- 1093" talks about. Basically, a prediction involving the card follows two paths: or it involves one of the basic concepts of the card, especially one of lack of knowledge of one of the sides, a mystery in its eyes, one that will put the other team in advantage. Or it is just that there'll be a coincidence during the match that involves the number. What about a wall formed during a free kick composed by players numbered 10, 9 and 3?

Completely Unrelated Stuff - and the cycle closes completely now for this card, with we being able to conclude this report by remembering the first thing we commented. If you are having a conversation with a friend and suddenly take "#22- 1093" from your tarot deck, though I have no idea why you were holding the cards or even decided to draw one of them while giving attention to your friend, this usually means the necessity to bring some typical theme for conversation, through the form of a joke, in order to keep it running.

by **Krytenia** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:29 pm

A Wide Angle
Posted by Andy G at 11:33

And so, once again, Krytenian football stands at a crossroads.

In the distance, the land of milk and honey, where the streets are paved with gold; but no clear path, no simple direction, to reach that goal. No guide, either. Mark Olic is a capable man, clearly able to at least get the Aces a seat at the top table; whether they manage to stay for the main course, never mind dessert, is another matter. Perhaps, then, he is not the answer.

But then, Krytenia have changed managers before...many, many times. Only two, however, have stood out as really breaking out and making Krytenia a name on the world stage: Karim Isserson and Ricky Mallon.

What links these two? What makes them stand above the rest? Perhaps it is nothing simpler than the fact they were outsiders, aloof to the demands of the Krytenian fans and press, and only focused on one goal; get the men in sky blue to the top.

Perhaps, just perhaps, it's time for another.

Perhaps it's time for Kuu.

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by **Jeru FC** » Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:29 pm

Mango Mousse talking the Naked News Jeruselem's Sam Sallad ...

Sam: What's with the sad face
Mango: Coach says things are expensive here with all the taxes so there's less beer to drink.
Sam: Yes, it's definitely not a cheap place to live.
Mango: We can only drink half as much beer now.
Sam: Must be suffering there.
Mango: Yes, we're on the beer budget now.
Sam: Funny that.
Mango: So you don't wear a lot clothes because you're poor too
Sam: No no, that's nothing to do with money.
Mango: I'm not complaining.
Sam: I'm sure you don't.
Mango: We've been forced to downgrade our beer too. Less alcohol percentage.
Sam: And no spirits and wine?
Mango: Yes, it's so sad. It just isn't the same you know.
Sam: It isn't the end of the world you know.
Mango: Life without beer would be a really bad place.
Sam: You might be saving a few brain cells in that head of yours.
Mango: There's nothing to save anyway.
Sam: I noticed your goalkeeper really really sucks.
Mango: Yes, he's not the best. A monkey can do better than him.
Sam: All he does is wave his arms and flap about hoping to block the ball.
Mango: He's not the fastest mover really.
Sam: I reckon I could keep the Jeru FC goal while being pregnant and do better.
Mango: Well, why don't you join us?
Sam: The pay sucks, I married one of you lot and he's got no money out of it.
Mango: We're like paid monkeys really, drunk ones who sleep with loose women.
Sam: So you guys actually make more people join the army?
Mango: I dunno, we don't care.

by **Akbarabad** » Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:31 am

Akbarabad on the verge of elimination due to due to disastrous opening match.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): The Tiger Eaters are already on the verge of elimination thanks to a terrible 2-0 defeat to Aguazul in our opening match at the Estádio Memorial, Eldorado. In what has become pretty much a tradition for the side, the Tiger Eaters once again did the hard work in qualifying, only to yield to lower ranked sides once the World Cup actually began. This happened in World Cups 49, 50 and 51 and it happened again this time. Last time around we managed to recover form our opening match defeat and reach the quarterfinals but repeating that feat will be much harder this time around. For one thing, we have lost to the lowest ranked team in the group and have yet to face Valanora and West Zirconia and there is no likelihood of either side conceding any quarter with both their places in the second round on the line.

Ultimately we have to face facts and admit that after this abject performance, further progression is a real long shot. We have to aim to win both our remaining matches to have an even chance, but considering our opposition that is easier said than done. The AFF will have to seriously analyze this campaign for all the mistakes committed and introduce some new blood for our next campaign. We have relied on the same set of players for a long time, and ultimately we need new players not tainted by previous defeats and failures.

Aguazul 2–0 Akbarabad
(Cisneros 27", Cobarrubias 66")

World Cup 52 - Cafundéu/Nethertopia - the RP thread

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