That doesn’t stop him from thinking, however.
You idiot! Now she’s going to go off and slowly cannibalise herself trying to deal with this on her own! You could have stopped that!
You have failed, Ryker Lane. You have fail- He stops himself as he realises what he is doing. And that’s exactly the mindset as what did the same to you before. You really can’t do anything if you paralyse yourself. Get a grip and work through the problem - think and feel.
Ryker, head now up, wanders back through his team’s temporary base of operations, towards the portal back to the HQ. Okay, first things first. Maria said that you didn’t know her - let’s see if you can prove her wrong. Try to get inside her head. What is she at her most fundamental?
He stops just before the portal assembly, then sits down on its steps, thinking. Well, she wants to win. That’s the same for me, and for every other driver on the grid, but there’s more to it, isn’t there? Something clicks. She doesn’t just want to win - that’s her primary, overriding motivation. With what both she and Asher have said about her past actions and what she told me just now about her desire to drive for one of the teams traditionally considered to be racewinners, not to mention everything about her career… Maria is determined to succeed, for her own sake, at almost any cost.
Ryker suddenly nods, firmly, to himself. He knows that he has hit upon something. Okay, so there’s that, but that’s still not enough. What does that say about who she is as a person? He frowns. Well, what does my desire to win say about me?
When I cut myself off a month ago, that was what was driving it… What did I want to do back then? The answer comes almost immediately. I wanted to prove myself, somehow - to show myself, the team, everyone what I was capable of - and turned myself into a robot in the process. He taps himself on the forehead in a mocking sort of way. Look how well that worked. But that’s clearly not what Maria’s doing.
Ryker shakes his head. Come on, you had something just now. She wants to win above everything else…
And then, clarity. Pride. That’s what it is. Determined pride. The way she dismissed joining up with the team…
Something else strikes him. What was it she said? ‘if you did, you would know to let me fix things myself’… She doesn’t want help, because… Because that would lessen her, somehow? The thoughts are practically alien to Ryker. With the influence of Nimban culture, the values of teamwork and unity in diversity, reinforced through years of schooling, have been utterly solidified in his mind. In that case… Oh, Imagination.
Ryker puts one hand to his forehead as he stares at the ground, aghast. With the way I phrased it, it must have sounded like I basically want to solve her problems for her, which would have been insulting her ability to do that for herself. Imagination, that’s not good. He shakes his head and almost - almost - runs back to try to find Maria, apologise and explain, before he stops himself. How do you think that would go down? Think this through - I thought that you were getting good at that!
Look, you can’t go after her now. Let her calm down for a bit, then apologise. The best time will probably be when she comes to visit the First City. Though, with everything that’s happened just now, will she even… The question goes unfinished as Ryker bows his head once more, closing his eyes. You can hope. Head for shelter when the storm comes.
He gets up and performs the necessary checks before wandering through the portal, sadder, yes, but a little bit wiser too.
Ryker shoots through the start/finish line, his closest threat, Krindle, a comfortable distance behind him. You know, I think I needed that, he muses, smiling slightly to himself.
His race engineer is a little more direct. “That was a brilliant drive, Ryker - twelve places made up in all, two thirds of those as a direct result of your driving. Fantastic job, as always.”
“Thanks, Martin. Tell the garage that I’m really happy with how the race went - you’re right, this is a good, solid result.” He smiles more widely. “Oh, and relay to Marika how awesome that fight with Terho looked from back here. Fantastic driving all round and kudos to her for keeping him behind.”
“I’ll be sure to.”
Ryker smiles, relaxing for a moment more before he lets his mind turn to Maria again. He looks down at his steering wheel’s display to confirm his fears. Yep, Lap 46. It’s taking its toll on her already. He grimaces. Please, don’t lock yourself away, Maria. I care about you too much for that.






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