The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

by **Ever-Wandering Souls** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:57 pm

Bitch when we pile. Bitch that we're spending too long on one raid and not doing anything interesting when the influence game takes longer Becuase we don't pile. Tell us we should have piled more if we lose because we didn't pile.

Make excuses or belittle tags when we tag and tag well. Bitch when we don't tag. Claim great victories when a training run goes poorly.

No way for raiders to win in this particular silly game, and I hope other raiders realize that and engage in it less. This group isn't likely to often give much of a "nice try" or sportsmanlike "well done," and prefers salt and taunts any day of the week.

by **Glen-Rhodes** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:05 pm

when was the last time ever-wandering souls and TBH said "well done chap" to defenders, without it being a troll? lol

by **Ever-Wandering Souls** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:31 pm

Glen-Rhodes wrote:when was the last time ever-wandering souls and TBH said "well done chap" to defenders, without it being a troll? lol

Last time they made a major skillful intercept of some sort, likely. I tend to give credit where it's due, either in a PM or here in GP. At the least, I complemented the response to Equestria, even if they were ultimately outplanned and outmanned

by **Landscaping Buddies** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:06 pm

Maybe they don't see anything worth praising? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

by **Nakari** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:06 pm

Here at TGW, we are very helpful. In the interests of forging bonds of strong friendship with the newly formed Dominion of Tartarus, I present the appropriately bejewelled gift of a new flag, one that I personally believe is an improvement. (Avoid if epileptic.)

Enjoy!

by **Tim-Opolis** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:11 pm

Ever-Wandering Souls wrote:This group isn't likely to often give much of a "nice try" or sportsmanlike "well done," and prefers salt and taunts any day of the week.

We compliment efforts we see as genuinely impressive. My apologies that your group doesn't seem to be impressive these days.

Nakari wrote:Here at TGW, we are very helpful. In the interests of forging bonds of strong friendship with the newly formed Dominion of Tartarus, I present the appropriately bejewelled gift of a new flag, one that I personally believe is an improvement. (Avoid if epileptic.)

(Image)

Enjoy!

I died.

by **Drop Your Pants** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:34 am

Ever-Wandering Souls wrote:Bitch when we pile. Bitch that we're spending too long on one raid and not doing anything interesting when the influence game takes longer Becuase we don't pile. Tell us we should have piled more if we lose because we didn't pile.

Make excuses or belittle tags when we tag and tag well. Bitch when we don't tag. Claim great victories when a training run goes poorly.

No way for raiders to win in this particular silly game, and I hope other raiders realize that and engage in it less. This group isn't likely to often give much of a "nice try" or sportsmanlike "well done," and prefers salt and taunts any day of the week.

Only one bitching in here is you. Might I suggest a small break from NS, before you pull a Unibot.

by **Vincent Drake** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:59 am

TL/DR: Derpsy is a very fast tagger. We won some stuff even with the high speed. Tartar Sauce is trippy.

It was almost time to do that fending thang again, but there was a problem: Warden Drake was still pretty sober. Heavy snow had shut down all the taverns early, but there was one spot by the docks that he could always rely on. Drake threw on his winter cloak, strapped up his high boots, took the last swig of vodka, flung the door open, and stumbled out into the storm.

Trudging through the snowdrifts, beard iced over like a yetti, he spotted the yellow glow of the Skippahs' Dock, illuminated in full every now and then by flashes of lightning. An eerie moan rode on the wind as fishing boats twisted in their slips and the pounding surf rubbed icebergs against the piers. This was gonna be a good night.

Drake could barely get the door open from all the snow. A sudden wedge of warmth whisked away the cold as he made it inside. A fire crackled in the great hearth,

"Vinny!"

"Tony!"

"How yah doin? I thought I might see yah tonight!"

"I ran outta liquah..."

"Well, we soytenly can't have yah go out theyah fendin' sobah. Heeyah, bottoms up!"

Tony slid a glass across the bar to Drake, who grabbed it and downed it in one fluid motion.

*Glug glug* "Good stuff, good stuff. Hey!"

He recognized a guy in a grey cloak slumped over a few stools away.

"Tim!"

"Wah???"

Warden Tim didn't look so good. Most guys stacked shot glasses, he popped bottles.

"Yo, we gotta hunt some dahkspahn tonight, ya bettah git ready."

"Wah???"

"Don't bothah", said Tony. "He stahted drinkin 'round 10 I reckin. 10 AM. I'll have him head to Tezde, if he's alive tomorrah."

"Mmmm...Tezde..." Tim trailed off before passing out on the floor.

"You can take me darkspawn hunting if you'd like."

Drake turned around and saw the darndest girl, dressed, if you could call it that, in white.

"It's cold out theyah, and dahkspahn ah pretty dangehous," Drake responded doubhtfully.

"I like a bit of danger, and large swords" she replied, nudging her hair a bit. "Do you want to show me your sword?"

"I do have a pretty lahge swoahd...hey I like yah, what's yah name, do yah know how to fend?"

"I'm Stella, of course I know how to fend."

"Yah ah not exactly dressed for wintah though...I have to leave soon, and theyah's no time to...change."

"I am winter, but you have a point. Why don't you come back after the battle? Here, I have something that might help."

Stella reached into her purse and retrieved a tub of tarter sauce.

"Tahtah saws?" Drake looked on, confused.

"Not just any tarter sauce," she whispered. This is magic tarter sauce. Down it and you'll see!"

"Normally, Drake would have noped it out of there, but he was so drunk that he would probably down gasoline if told it was magic."

"Cheeyahs!"

"Suddenly, the tavern was gone, the snow and storm gone, everything was a whirlwind of space and time, Drake saw smells and tasted colors, he saw pink elephants on parade, heffalumps and woozles, Roavin awake for major, Max Barry fending, Souls raiding, snow in Florida, progress in Mississippi, Russia being conquered in the winter, he saw his past, present, and future all at once, he saw the answer to life, the universe, and everything (42), and then everything went...tropical. He was still in the same town, but the sun was shining, beach gold, palms waving, snow and cold gone.

A giant panda waved at him, motioning to follow. Drake followed as the panda started jogging, then running, then sprinting. Struggling to keep up, Drake unexplainedly arrived at Weishaupt Fortress.

Leading his troops out, decked out in summer gear, Drake sought allies and darkspawn. Allies were plenty, but darkspawn were few. There were just two, but they were fast little rabbitses. Literally rabbitses. The defenders were foxes, and they chased the rabbits out of https://www.nationstates.net/region=foxy.

A huge, ominous thunderstorm popped up and lightning bolts struck both parties. The derpy darkspawn got faster and faster, shifting shape, turning up the volume, bouncing to the beat. The defenders bounced them out of https://www.nationstates.net/region=volbeatunion (aye, join here!) and struggled to keep up.

Faster, faster, faster they went, until a new set of darkspawn became penguins, bouncing and sliding, and huddling over their eggs. The dark penguins were sent out of the colony in https://www.nationstates.net/region=antarctic_alliance.

FASTER FASTER! Now, the originals warped into WWII, blitzing across Europeia, treating the populace as "their little playthings" ruling without fear or favor, stamping out all commerce, except a few enterprising young Europeians with lemonade stands. The defenders became super soldiers with nigh indestructible, boomeranging shields and swept them out of https://www.nationstates.net/region=the_central_empires.

FASTER FASTER FASTER they were sheep, no goats, no pigs, no cars, no planes, no jellyfish, no ants, no crows...everything went dark.

Drake woke up lying in a massive snowbank in shorts and sandals, with 6 wins and an empty tub of tahtah sawz.

by **Panzer Vier** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:06 am

Vinny reports are always the best <3

Another entertaining read after a fun update, even though we had to cut it short. See ya on the fields; I'll be sure to show up in a rabbit costume for extra trippiness.

by **Drop Your Pants** » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:59 am

Regions Liberated: 1
https://www.nationstates.net/region=iron_gate

Whoever was the lead on that one needs retraining. Raiders are still there (just taken the delegacy again) and WFE is unchanged.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:26 am

Warden Interceptors move into overwatch positions

A successful night for the Wardens and their allies started with an early deployment into Pluviostan, clearing out the Tartar Sauce loving Darkspawn which had settled into the region the day prior through a well-placed sleeper. Although some luck was involved in the jump, primarily due to Commander Tim Stark's choice to have units deploy into the region a bit earlier than customary leading to a higher casualty rate than desired, the operation was a sound success and TITO Knights took up defensive positions within Pluviostan to remove the last of the blight-carrying foe. Following, a crack team of Grey Wardens and TSP Special Forces deployed into the field, proceeding to hunt the tagging Darkspawn. It was a well fought battle, with nine defenses being successfully pulled off, in addition to a minor liberation against a lesser Darkspawn group which had not been full eradicated the night prior.

For all the flak that The Grey Wardens have been giving the Tartar Sauce Darkspawn, primarily due to the lack of any sort of presence from their very top brass as well as their struggles in the past week, full credit has to be given to their officers that actually put in work. Tartar Officer House of Cards, in particular, was very effective this past night in demonstrating that the Darkspawn can be quick even without Derpsy's leadership. We'll just have to keep getting quicker. Well fought.

Daisy Watch

Unfortunately, our world-class reporting team has no new updates on the progress of #DaisyWatch2K17. It seems that the daisy may have died, perhaps due to not having Gardener Larry being around to help it blossom to its full potential.

Regions Defended

United Developed Countries
West Communist Union
Femisphere
Nations You Made For Fun
The Altered States
SECFanatics
Riiii
The Allied Nations of Chairborne
Commuria

Regions Liberated

Pluviostan
Iron Gate

Wardens Present:
Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Commander Tim-Opolis
Constable Lenlyvit
Warden Blightbane

Allies Present:
[RIASF] Red Dusk
[RIASF] Dixadoing
[SPSF] United States of Vietnam
[SPSF] Cormactopia Prime
[SPSF] Federation of the Resentine Kingdom
[SOL] Somyrion
[TITO] Klopstock
[TITO] Kortexia
[TITO] Listening Post 0001
[RRA] Frattastan
[RRA] Dyr Nasad

Some easy listening for you this morning, and a tip to anybody harboring a lot of salt

In War, Victory.
In Peace, Vigilance.
In Death, Sacrifice.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:05 am

I doubt anyone realized it and this is completely off topic but on the internet few people actually warn ahead of time when they post something that is dangerous to epileptics. I just wanna take a moment to thank Nakari for being considerate enough to be an exception.

by **Sygmund** » Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:46 pm

Drop Your Pants wrote:Only one bitching in here is you.

I don't think he was just talking about forums, it's definitely common on discord too. The bitching is constant, annoying and uncool.

by **Drop Your Pants** » Fri Mar 17, 2017 1:24 am

Sygmund wrote:I don't think he was just talking about forums, it's definitely common on discord too. The bitching is constant, annoying and uncool.

That's common on both sides of R/D, and has been for a very long time. Want to change it, don't bitch about people bitching is a good start

by **Sygmund** » Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:31 pm

Drop Your Pants wrote:
Sygmund wrote:I don't think he was just talking about forums, it's definitely common on discord too. The bitching is constant, annoying and uncool.

That's common on both sides of R/D, and has been for a very long time. Want to change it, don't bitch about people bitching is a good start

lol I guess I've been sheltered then, because I hadn't noticed it until the Wardens came back

by **Drop Your Pants** » Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:53 pm

Sygmund wrote:lol I guess I've been sheltered then, because I hadn't noticed it until the Wardens came back

Are you really trying to blame TGW for the bitchyness of R/D reports and topics since 2015? :eyebrow:

If it annoys you so much EWS, use the foe function on the forum.

by **Roavin** » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:53 pm

Since Discord is massively breaking today - feel free to join us in #tgw on irc.esper.net (or use this handy invite link).

by **Tim-Opolis** » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:21 pm

Warden W&S Enjoying The G-Forces of Update Chasing

A very exciting night tonight, as The Blight Hawks took the field with what appeared to be one eye on the all-time tag record. Flying out the gate about as quick as you'd expect a bird of prey to do so, it was a hard fought battle all update, especially with various Wardens having to pop in and out throughout update due to other worldly obligations from homework to late-night houseguests. While triggers deteriorated for the darkspawn closer to the end of update, their speeds kept up, and ultimately it was a great opportunity for Wardens to increase their crossing, switching, and jumping speeds to higher levels. Though we may not have gotten as many wins as one would have liked to see, given various circumstances (including myself only showing up for the last half-hour >.>), we're hopeful in at least having picked up enough to have prevented the tag record from being broken on our watch. If it did indeed get surpassed, congratulations to the Hawks on a well fought battle. We'll be faster next time, you can count on that! Rumor has it that underperforming Wardens are already being instructed to do everything faster in their everyday life to prepare for eliminating darkspawn with greater efficiency, from eating, to texting, and even sleeping faster.

Regions Defended

Matinkan Empire
The Communist Conglomerate
The Central Empires
Gott Und Land
East Block
Heckville 5000
Chris Puppet Storage
Hinomoto
The Hub
Protoss
Ice Montes Regnum

Wardens Present

Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Commander Tim-Opolis
Senior Warden Blightbane
Warden Witchcraft and Sorcery
Warden Milo-A
Warden Miravana

Allies Involved In Our Victory

[RIASF] Dixadoing
[SOL] Somyrion
[RRA] Rom

In War, Victory.
In Peace, Vigilance.
In Death, Sacrifice.

by **Blight-Bane** » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:36 pm

Yep, the Blight Hawks were on their game tonight. Kudos. I was going to curse my brother's existence (and my crappy ISP) for showing up at such a late hour, but he brought beer.. so the night ended well.

by **Witchcraft and Sorcery** » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:50 pm

Not all wizards wear funny hats. Some opt for weird sunglasses and... rippling jowls?

But in all honesty, nice job by the fastboy squad today.

by **Sygian II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:57 am

Was definitely fun to watch 'till I fell asleep at my desk.. again. Expect more tags once I am not locked anymore \o/.

Nice job to the Wardens and friends.

by **EnTgeisTerT** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:09 pm

For the record, TBR's record still stands. Good job to the wardens. Hopefully update will decide to be more cooperative next time.

by **Tim-Opolis** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:36 pm

Yuno you love The Grey Wardens

Update commenced with the most exciting thing it could have started with, a ten minute lag on the start due to [violet]'s invasive sampling profiler. For a second, we thought we'd get lucky enough to be able to not bother with doing anything tonight, when update started up again and the Blight Hawks pulled off a quick jump while we were still lounging about talking about how great it was back when update was short. Well, we couldn't be having losses like that could we? The Wardens and their South Pacifican allies decided to go show the darkspawn how it was done. For the rest of update, The Blight Hawks only picked up one victory, by our count, to five for the defending forces. We've got to commend both the Hawks, as well as ours and allied troops, for persevering though as the update was incredibly shaky tonight in terms of speed. On a different night, perhaps the fortunes would have been different for either of the sides. We look forward to beating Sygian on the field more in the future, though! Afterall, Yuno you can't help but love us!

Also, we'd like to wish a very Happy Birthday to SPSF Soldier Cormac! Hope you have a great day, mate!

Regions Defended

Gratis
Nushy
Rivet
Ioraqus
Antiochia

Wardens Present

First Warden Roavin
Chamberlain Vincent Drake
Commander Tim-Opolis
Constable Lenlyvit
Senior Warden Blightbane
Warden Witchcraft and Sorcery

Allies Involved In Our Victory

[SPSF] United States of Vietnam
[SPSF] Cormactopia Prime

In War, Victory.
In Peace, Vigilance.
In Death, Sacrifice.

(also the Wardens are Still Speedin')

by **Cormactopia Prime** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:04 am

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

by **Sygian II** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:57 am

Whew, what a fun night. Good job Wardens.

(For the record, a whopping two hits, not one. Nobody an underestimate the power of my rusty tag triggering!)

The Grey Wardens: Warden-Lieutenant Eshialand

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