Leninade - Bring out your communist side

[The Western Reaches]

Leninade: Bring out your communist side.
This is not a joke so do not troll me for having a communist humorous side.

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What is this crap?

This crap is the production of countless years tracking the soft drink market and looking for fresh new ideas for a brand new sweet and fizzy liquid to quench the thirst of capitalists and communists alike.
The name "Leninade", a parody of "Lemonade" was come up with by one of our most esteemed creative thinkers, who can be seen on a normal day bouncing a rubber ball around or shooting at his colleagues with a toy gun.
So far we have produced 5,000,000 cans and our factories continue to wreak havoc on the surrounding environment churn out more every day. We even got our good friend Lenin to endorse us:


Doesn't he look happy?

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The Company

Leninade^TM CEO: Alan Baldright
Leninade^TM main office: The big one, yeah you see it
Leninade^TM factory preset: Image

If you have any queries about this product please mail Alan Baldright at:
13 Sorrel Road,
Eastern Province,
The Western Reaches

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Discounts

"Drink up, comrade!": If you are one of the following government categories you will recieve a 5% discount:
Iron Fist Socialists
Liberal Democratic Socialists
Democratic Socialists

"Where da moneyz?": If you are one of the following government categories you will recieve a 5% discount:
Iron Fist Consumerists
Capitalist Paradise
Compulsory Consumerist State
Free Market Paradise

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Purchasing

There are currently plans to introduce this product into your nation, or you can buy in bulk and introduce them yourself:

Full Setup
This package includes:
20,000 vending machines
500,000 cans
Limited rights for sufficient factories to sustain vendors and vending machines or five-year import contract.
Fully payed-for advertising campaign
Price: $6,500,000,000 NS

No-rights setup
This package includes:
20,000 vending machines
500,000 cans
1 year extendable import contract
Price: 1,000,000,000 NS

Bulk cans
$500 per 1,000 cans (Import cost not included)

Bulk vending-machines
$1,200 per vending-machine

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Suppliers

We are currently in need of trade partners to supply us with fresh water, sugar, and petrol.

[The Western Reaches]

bump

[San Pellegrino Romana]

Official Communiqué
Belle Époque Fine Dining

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TO: Mr. Alan Baldright, CEO of Leninade
FROM: Mr. Armand de Richelieu, CEO of Belle Époque Fine Dining
RE: Leninade - Belle Époque Fine Dining Contract

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Greetings!

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Armand de Richelieu, and I am the CEO and seventh-generation owner of Belle Époque Fine Dining. Being one of the most famous fine dining restaurant chains in the Republic, I would like to introduce your fine product, Leninade into our restaurant menu. Our Research and Development Department did an analysis and it showed that your product will be extremely popular in the Republic. It is thus that my company will purchase the Full Setup. The required funds of $6,500,000,000 will be sent to your headquarters on confirmation of this order. We would like to have the option of having the 5-year deliveries sent monthly to our Corporate Headquarters in Rome.

Signed,



Armand de Richelieu,

CEO of Belle Époque Fine Dining

P.S. What does the advertising campaign entail?

[San Pellegrino Romana]

Official Communiqué
Energizia Inc.

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TO: Mr. Alan Baldright, CEO of Leninade
FROM: Mr. Paolo Mancini, CEO of Energizia Inc.
RE: Raw Materials Supplier

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Mr. Kozlov,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Paolo Mancini, and I am the CEO of Energizia Inc. When my great-grandfather Roberto Mancini, founded this company back in 1919, he wanted 3 aspects of Energizia to stand out: Affordability, Accessibility, and Attention. For over 91 years, Energizia Inc. has been able to meet the demands of customers nationwide, whether it be an individual, another company, or an entire country. I have recently heard that Leninade is in need of several suppliers of raw materials. That is where Energizia Incorporated comes in. We can supply your company with petrol (gasoline) and water. Our reasonable prices are listed on our corporate website. Since your company is relatively new to the market, we can apply several discounts to your purchases. Let us know what you think.

Thank you,

Paolo Mancini,
CEO of Energizia Inc.

[The Western Reaches]

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To: Mr. Armand de Richelieu
From: Alan Baldright

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I am delighted to say that we will be able to supply you with Leninade for your restaurant chain. Being a novelty item I am sure it will cause many jokes when put on the menu, and it has been endlessly taste-tested by countless judges. Being quite popular in The Western Reaches, supplying your chain with it will surely spread the word of our product.
The full setup pack is currently being organized and I will sort out the details with you once we have readied the package.

On the note about the advertising campaign: The advertising campaign includes a series of television, radio and print advertisements that can be produced and shown in your country for the equivalent time period and advertisement production resources of $500,000,000.

Thank you.

[Kalasparata]

If we were communist socialist we'd buy it, but we're not. Having said that, it is a cool name for a soft drink!

[The Western Reaches]

If we were communist socialist we'd buy it, but we're not. Having said that, it is a cool name for a soft drink!

It's a novelty drink, no it does not turn you communist. Our nation is extremely capitalist but our citizens enjoy a glass of Leninade, not just because it has a pun for a name but also because it tastes very nice.

[Auremena]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

[The Western Reaches]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

Oh, my, god. The idea is that it is a novelty drink NOT a drink SOLELY for commies!

I am a "New York Times Democracy" but my people still enjoy Leninade.

[Auremena]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

Oh, my, god. The idea is that it is a novelty drink NOT a drink SOLELY for commies! I am a "New York Times Democracy" but my people still enjoy Leninade.

Yes but you have discounts for our less free comrades, the Iron Fist Socialists, the Democratic Socialists, and the Libretarian Democratic Socialists. How come not the Scandanavian Liberal Paradises or Left Wing Utopias? We can be communists too! Just wondering why we didn't get the discount too, I knew it wasn't only for us communists.

[The Western Reaches]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

Oh, my, god. The idea is that it is a novelty drink NOT a drink SOLELY for commies! I am a "New York Times Democracy" but my people still enjoy Leninade.

Yes but you have discounts for our less free comrades, the Iron Fist Socialists, the Democratic Socialists, and the Libretarian Democratic Socialists. How come not the Scandanavian Liberal Paradises or Left Wing Utopias? We can be communists too! Just wondering why we didn't get the discount too, I knew it wasn't only for us communists.

Yes sorry, I think I'll just remove the government discounts, it's gonna cause too many issues.

[Auremena]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

Oh, my, god. The idea is that it is a novelty drink NOT a drink SOLELY for commies! I am a "New York Times Democracy" but my people still enjoy Leninade.

Yes but you have discounts for our less free comrades, the Iron Fist Socialists, the Democratic Socialists, and the Libretarian Democratic Socialists. How come not the Scandanavian Liberal Paradises or Left Wing Utopias? We can be communists too! Just wondering why we didn't get the discount too, I knew it wasn't only for us communists.

Yes sorry, I think I'll just remove the government discounts, it's gonna cause too many issues.

I wasn't interested in purchasing anyways. Your environental record is too shoddy for us anyways.

[The Western Reaches]

What about us Left Wing Utopias?

Oh, my, god. The idea is that it is a novelty drink NOT a drink SOLELY for commies! I am a "New York Times Democracy" but my people still enjoy Leninade.

Yes but you have discounts for our less free comrades, the Iron Fist Socialists, the Democratic Socialists, and the Libretarian Democratic Socialists. How come not the Scandanavian Liberal Paradises or Left Wing Utopias? We can be communists too! Just wondering why we didn't get the discount too, I knew it wasn't only for us communists.

Yes sorry, I think I'll just remove the government discounts, it's gonna cause too many issues.

I wasn't interested in purchasing anyways. Your environental record is too shoddy for us anyways.

Alright, although I'm not into environmentalism and usually it holds humanity back with irrational fears of destruction, whereas mother nature is actually the toughest being in the world and will bounce back from anything man can do, guaranteed. I respect your ideals though.

[Kalasparata]

If we were communist socialist we'd buy it, but we're not. Having said that, it is a cool name for a soft drink!

It's a novelty drink, no it does not turn you communist. Our nation is extremely capitalist but our citizens enjoy a glass of Leninade, not just because it has a pun for a name but also because it tastes very nice.

In that case, we'll take a couple million. Our citizens love gags!

[Logasiri]

OOC: wen life gives u lemons, redistribute them in 1/10ths of a gram to the population

IC:

Armax Corporation would like to purchase the "No Rights Setup".

From,
Maureen Xu

[Russian World Defence]

theres already a real life soda called leninade...

other than that, i buy 5000 cans for 2500$

[The Western Reaches]

theres already a real life soda called leninade...

other than that, i buy 5000 cans for 2500$

OOC: This is kind of a recreation of it, and is really nothing like it. Just has the same name.

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To: Russian World Defence
From: Alan Baldright

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Your order of 5000 cans has been accepted and the cans will be sent as soon as possible.

Thank you for choosing Leninade.

[Slakonian]

I dont understand this product!

It's a communist Soda?
It's soda made by a communist
It's a soda made for communists and socialists only?
It's a soda made by a Russian?
It's a soda made for ex-Soviet Republics only?
It's a soda made from a person that like Lenin?

Or something else?

[Waterlords]

Dear CEO of Leninade Drinks,

Leninade is a very interesting soda drink for the Waterlords kids who have an inspiration to join the Force and extra income for our soldiers who are off duty. We will not buy your drinks but we would like to invite the Leninade Corporations to build your own factory here in the Waterlords.

From,

Tungain Mramin
Adviser, Social Drinking Welfare of Waterlords
Office of the Commander-in-Chief

[The Western Reaches]

I dont understand this product!

It's a communist Soda?
It's soda made by a communist
It's a soda made for communists and socialists only?
It's a soda made by a Russian?
It's a soda made for ex-Soviet Republics only?
It's a soda made from a person that like Lenin?

Or something else?

it's just a clever name, the point is it's delicious!

[Slakonian]

Slakonian wants 2,500,000 Bulk cans.Those will be bought from the the government and they will be stored on our vending machine were are in government buildings and public places which are underground railroad system stations,railroad station and airports.
Tell us how much we must pay for all of these?

Vending machines in public places,the money from those are going to the government and those who are in private places go to the company or whatever else they go.
Vending Machine in public places and government buildings

[The Western Reaches]

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To: CEO of Armax inc.
From: Alan Baldright

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We would be happy to send you the "no-rights" setup, please provide transportation for the produce to be sent to your nation.

The cost will be: $1,000,000,000 NS.

Thank you for purchasing Leninade.

[The Western Reaches]

Dear CEO of Leninade Drinks,

Leninade is a very interesting soda drink for the Waterlords kids who have an inspiration to join the Force and extra income for our soldiers who are off duty. We will not buy your drinks but we would like to invite the Leninade Corporations to build your own factory here in the Waterlords.

From,

Tungain Mramin
Adviser, Social Drinking Welfare of Waterlords
Office of the Commander-in-Chief

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To: Tungain Mramin
From: Alan Baldright

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We would be happy to set up a factory in your nation. We will distribute to your food and supermarket branches, and for an one-off payment of $500,000,000 NS you can receive 10% of all profits from Leninade sold in your nation for 10 years.
Otherwise we shall keep all profits, and we would also like rights to create an advertising campaign in your nation.

[TurtleShroom]

FROM THE HOLY REPUBLIC OF TURTLESHROOM
PRIVATE ENTERPRISE
NON-GOVERNMENTAL MESSAGE
FROM: JOE MAHNA - CEO OF YUMMY SODA AND SONS
TO: LENINADE, INC. (private enterprise = irony)

FRIENDS:

We here at Yummy Sodas and Sons would be truly honored to set up this tasty Communist beverage in TurtleShroom.

Therefore, on the behalf of my company, we request that you build three factories on our spare land to produce Leninade in your name and in your profits, in conjunction with the No-Rights Package of sales.
You will find the TurtleShroom equivalent to your price by air mail crates. When you open it up and see frying pans, worry not: it's not a scam, it's TurtleShroomer currency!

We have already reserved an advertising timeslot for Leninade every Thursday at 3:00 AM for the next six months.

We hope to install the factories on the biome border between the Grasslands and the Swamps, out of reach but still deliverable to the one million southeastern Marxist demographic, who will love this stuff. As for the vending machines, we will take the purchase in the Package and will also use our existing machines to sell Leninade. Further, we have secured a contract with TurtleShroom National Baseball to sell Leninade at all of their stadiums.

Please send us the shipment so we can deliver the delicious manifesto to TurtleShroom!

&
Regards,
Joe Mahna

[Chinese Regions]

One of the regional governments of our nation (who prefers to remain anonymous) would like to to order 800,000 cans.